#also theres no continuity im following here soz

[gaydinobots]

poly!dinobots for the ask meme !!!! 👀

anon i want you to know that youre enabling me and im ABSOLUTELY here for it. also this is pretty long i am so sorry 

Who’s more dominant: grimlock/slug, they already lead the team in canon depending on continuity so i suppose itd apply here to a degree! 

Who’s the cuddler: sludge by a long shot but grimlock is secretly one too! 

Who’s the big spoon/little spoon: they just dogpile each other when they get tired. no one knows whos really spooning who ((generally sludge is the Automatic Big Spoon) 

What’s their favorite non-sexual activity: idk if theyd have a Favourite but aside from fighting and going to bars a lot they probably do anything they want. bonus points if it’s pretty likely to kill anyone else

Who uses all the hot water: swoop because hes an early bird kind of dude whos also a huge dick 

Most trivial thing they fight over: they fight over anything if they feel like it. probably who gets to pick up slash after a mission (none of them do and she ends up arriving home before any of them) 

Who does most of the cleaning: they live in a perpetual state of messiness. grimlock sometimes gets sick of it so he tries but hes not good at it. slug gets fed up about it and actually sorts things out properly. snarl OCCASIONALLY helps out but only to clean out everyone else’s shit from his own personal space. swoop doesnt bother unless hes got an incentive. sludge is incapable of maintaining any sort of order in his life. 

What has a season pass on their dvr/Who controls the netflix queue: SWOOP hed love binging dramas. hes the only one who knows how netflix works and hes their saviour when it comes to movie date nights 

Who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working: swoop usually but if they want it done urgently grimlock does it  

Who leaves their stuff around: all of them do. swoop and sludge are tied worst offenders 

Who remembers to buy the milk: i guess this would be energon but snarl does! when they do need it he tries to get it in bulk so they dont have to think about it 

Who remembers anniversaries: none of them,,,,, they dont remember when they got together Properly and have differing opinions of when theyre officially together. i think theyd just celebrate whenever they feel like it! 

Who cooks normally: they dont need to cook but if they were a human au they live off of only takeout, leftovers and instant food. how the fuck they remain as strong as they are is a mystery((i hc that grimlock can actually cook but he does it based on mood and whether the others want it)) 

How often do they fight: hmmm probably a bit! theyre them after all. but they never hold it for too long and eventually always make up! id say less of fighting and more of ‘constantly nitpicking but in a kinda fond, kinda condescending’ way 

What do they do when they’re away from each other: swoop bingewatches tv dramas (and uh. wwe since thats kind of like. drama with added fighting) if hes unable to find current drama thats interesting. grimlock hangs out with the scavengers or finds somewhere he can train! slug either hangs out with trypticon or spends time with his kids. snarl likes to spend the time sunning himself and reflecting on a walk or something. sludge dabbles in sculpting, and is actually pretty good at it! he also likes to observe animals doing random things. 

Nicknames for each other: it’s canon they call whoever’s in charge boss? at least swoop does. i dont think they have any real pet names tbh, theyre not too big on that. swoop probably throws in a ‘babe’ or ‘honey’ when talking to any of them unconsciously. 

Who is more likely to pay for dinner: when they have money sludge pays. he tips too!!! what a great guy 

Who steals the covers at night: snarl but only because hes not big on physical affection,,, like he likes it but he needs his space a lot! however if swoop is feeling mad he sometimes takes them out of spite. 

What would they get each other for gifts: hmmMMMmmm idk if theyd even remember to give each other things....theyre more of ‘actions speak for you’ kind of people. they probably get each other weapons or energon. that being said they keep everything their daughter gives them. theyre v proud good dads 

Who kissed who first: hmmmMmm id say sludge was the first one to get kissed by all of them!

Who made the first move: they all kind of just. flirted back and forth until no one really knew who started what, until they just kind of agreed and said “ok yeah we’re all dating each other” 

Who remembers things: snarl 

Who started the relationship: i think swoop would be the one to suggest that they all become a thing so i guess him! 

Who cusses more: slug’s original name was a cuss i think it’s obvious who it is 

What would they do if the other one was hurt: get revenge immediately. if its a minor hurt tho theyd just kind of crack jokes while being concerned. 

Who is the dirty talker: swoop but only because he talks the most...slug tries but they all agree swoop is just. way better at it. 

A head canon: them becoming a poly relationship was a gradual thing that happened over time! i kinda hc grimlock/slug hooking up a bit before officially forming the dinobots. then swoop/grimlock happens, slug gets into the mix, sludge/snarl is also happening, then after that they lose track of the timeline (which is ok by them because they dont. really mind all that much)