#also there was a bunch of yi city stuff that happened in 36 that i apparently didn't take notes on either??? this is just about 37 thru 39

[coquelicoq]

yi city arc, aka: DAD MODE ACTIVATED

what a fun bonding trip this is for wwx and his children! forget throwing the ball around and going camping - exploring creepy haunted towns while trying to avoid the poisonous gas and zombies roaming the streets is the cool new dad activity

wwx inflicts his spicy cooking on these poor innocent children. taglines for his parenting show:

to kill a poison, you’ve got to…eat a poison

a spoonful of paprika helps the medicine go down

if you can’t stand the heat…too fuckin’ bad

or how about a nursery rhyme he wrote to get them to eat his cooking?

there was an old lady who swallowed some dust. i don’t know why she swallowed the dust, perhaps she’ll combust!

there was an old lady who swallowed some congee. it tickled and burned and scalded so strongly! she swallowed the congee to eat the dust. i don’t know why she swallowed the dust, but she’s all better now and so will you be if you just eat the congee i made you.

aww sizhui tries to stay and help wwx. he’s such a good son!!!

oh my GOD lsz like “you and my dad are the same” and then as he’s walking away he’s just thinking about how safe he feels when either one of them is around? what???? are u shitting me?? this sweet baby who had lived through a lifetime of trauma by the age of 4 has finally found comfort and safety with his two dads???

me at my television: don’t look at me. everything's under control. situation normal. we had a slight tear duct malfunction, but uh...everything's perfectly all right now. we're fine. we're all fine here now, thank you. how are you?

wwx to xue yang: don’t talk to me or my son or my other son or my other son or my other son or my other son or my other son or my other son or my other son or my other son or my other son or my other son or my other son or my other son or my other son or my other son or my other son or my other son ever again

yes i counted

get this guy some daughters already

(also these kids need to make friends with some girls because right now if you ask them their thoughts about a teenage girl who is clearly in distress, they just talk about how cute she is smdh)

xue yang: the OG wwx fanboy

xy: humpty dumpty sat on a wall, humpty dumpty had a great fall…

wwx: i’m not fixing xiao xingchen’s spiritual consciousness for you, asshole

...and then they just flatter each other for a while like “you’re the best, only you can fix him” “no you’re so much better at it than me” “no you invented this, you’re the master” “i’m not that impressive, you do it”

god wwx is so cool under pressure

he’s SO competent and SO calm and SO collected and SO good at teaching!!!

it’s EXTREMELY sexy. i was not prepared for how sexy it is.

like i’m used to him being cocky and blasé, but this is a whole other level. this doesn’t come from the overconfidence of youth or from trying to impress anybody. it’s just so mature and natural! he has nothing to prove, he’s just actually that good, and i’m very much not equipped to handle the feelings i’m having about it!!

wwx being held at swordpoint all nonchalant like “hey can you not draw your sword on me while we’re talking? were you raised in a barn? where are your manners?!”

wwx is like “it’s all good. hakuna matata. my angel will save me” and then lwj descends from the heavens. he’s just so sure about it. no doubt in his mind. he’s not a damsel in distress, he’s just half of a perfectly synchronized team that he understands deeply and trusts implicitly. this is incredibly attractive of him and i’m gonna. need a minute

WEN NING IS NOT A THING

not a girl, not a robot, and NOT a thing!!

not a corpse, but not not a corpse either? (like if song lan and wen ning are both ghost puppets, why does song lan recover from being all pale and black-veined but wen ning stays like that forever?)

okay so i don’t know what he is exactly, but whatever he is: 1) i will protect him 2) i want to see him grow up healthy 3) i want to tell my friends and neighbors about him

i love it when people say “hey wwx, isn’t lwj the best?” and he gets all awkward about it. he’s like “oh no, that’s the thing i’m repressing!!”

has anyone done a side-by-side gifset of nhs going “isn’t lwj the handsomest man in all the land” and ljy going “isn’t hanguang-jun just so good at everything”?? i feel like yes but i can’t find it, which is too bad because it’s very important content

i’m gonna be real with you: i understood very little of the ah-qing flashback sequence (aka all of episode 38 and part of 39)

so okay xue yang hates xxc for some reason that was probably explained in an earlier episode and i’ve forgotten. hating xxc would account for why he spends three years continuously tricking xxc into killing a bunch of living people and then gets him to stab song lan; i guess he just really really likes revenge. but then why is he so upset when xxc dies? why is he so committed to restoring xxc’s spiritual consciousness?

i don’t understand this whole sideplot, but what i do know is this:

ah-qing is an adorable con artist who deserves all the candy her heart desires and i’m very upset that she dies, and

xiao xingchen is the sweetest, cutest boy in all the land. i think he’s supposed to be older than wwx or something which is hilarious to me because he looks, like, fifteen?? (i was so confused back in that earlier episode when wwx called him shige or similar. i was like, “this guy? you’re a grown-ass man but this tiny child is your older brother? sounds fake but okay”)

there’s more in 39 but it’s after they leave yi city, so i will end this long rambly post here. a hint of what’s to come: sizhui gets a LANTERN, jingyi eats some CHICKEN, and xichen is my ONE TRUE LOVE. stay tuned...

[nintendo-666]

OPEN CALL TAGGED from @carvedfrxmstone lolol I need attn

THE LAST: 1. Drink: 7/11 coffee mu uber driver bought me lolol 2. Phone call: Gazzy 3. Text message: also my Gaz 4. Song you listened to: Dope Hat by Manny-Chan 5. Time you cried: 4th of July cause my bf’s mom is super mean to me :c

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: unfortunately 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: oh yeah dude 8. Been cheated on: yeah apparently I’m really good at it 9. Lost someone special: yeah dude 10. Been depressed:  all the time B) 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: lol yeah once I blacked out on a totally empty stomach and unblacked out over the toilet.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12. black 13. purple 14. blue

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends:  yeah dude! I think. 16. Fallen out of love:  idk if it’s fair to say I loved him, more he controlled me and every aspect of my life so I was like really stockholmed. but I got out of that shit this year. 17. Laughed until you cried:  lol yeah last night over “biladelphia” 18. Found out someone was talking about you:  all the time 19. Met someone who changed you:  I didn’t meet him, but we got close. 20. Found out who your friends are:  no? 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list:  lol ya

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life:  like 75% 23. Do you have any pets:  yeah my kitty Marmalade! 24. Do you want to change your name:  absolutely 100% yes 25. What did you do for your last Birthday:  went downtown with a bunch of my friends, got bought many beers, and ate salad 26. What time did you wake up:  6:30, then 7:30. I slept in twice. 27. What were you doing at midnight last night:  ugh sleeping cause I work mad early. 28. Name something you can’t wait for:  tomorrow night presumably. 29. When was the last time you saw your mom:  yesterday when I went to go get my shoes! 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life:  I NEED more money to survive 31. What are you listening right now:  Wrapped in Plastic 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom:  that’s my old pill dealer lmfao 33. Something that is getting on your nerves:  I’m hungry but too fat to eat. 34. Most visited Website:  this hellsite

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s:  none 36. Mark/s: birth? on my butt. 37. Childhood dream:  be an astronaut 38. Haircolour:  right now black blonde and blue 39. Long or short hair:  short af 40. Do you have a crush on someone:  I love my boyfriend an insane amount 41. What do you like about yourself: I got off drugs 42. Piercings:  lip, two in my eyebrow, anti eyebrow dermals 43. Bloodtype:  O- 44. Nickname:  Cam, Eli, Court, Scotia 45. Relationship status:  super happily taken 46. Zodiac:  Saggy 47. Pronouns:  literally any 48. Favourite TV Show:  Broad City and South Park tbh 49. Tattoos:  star on my left wrist, majora’s mask on my left forearm, elephant on my right hand, “try again?” in 8-bit on my right forearm, sheikah eye on the right of my ribcage, power symbol above my pubes, hylian crest under my left collarbone 50. Right or left hand:  right 51. Surgery:  sepsis in my uterus from a baby I wanted but couldn’t afford and wouldn’t leave my body fully during the abortion. gruesome stuff. 52. Hair dyed in different color:  yah but part of it is just my natural color but enhanced kinda 53. Sport: noooo 55. Vacation:  idk man 56. Pair of trainers:  I just got some hella new shoes man. they’re metallic and I put black laces and sparkly lace wings on them!

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating:  nope 58. Drinking:  nope 59. I’m about to:  get back to work lmfao 61. Waiting for:  2:30pm when I buss outta this bitch 62. Want:  more $$$ 63. Get married:  one day 64. Career:  I work in the office category at a contracting company. it works for now.

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: both simultaneously 66. Lips or eyes:  eyes for the most part I guess but I love me some nice lips 67. Shorter or taller:  taller by default tbh 68. Older or younger:  older generally 70. Nice arms or nice stomach:  armz. I like a little soft tummy :} 71. Sensitive or loud:  idc 72. Hook up or relationship:  relationship at the moment 73. Troublemaker or hesitant:  hesitant to make some trouble maybe but still doing it ofc

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger:  pretty much 75. Drank hard liquor:  always 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses:  yeah I never found my last glasses 77. Turned someone down:  no I’m too scared to lolol 78. Sex in the first date:  not even on dates I’ve just invited people over and it happened lol 79. Broken someone’s heart:  allegedly 80. Had your heart broken:  oh god so much 81. Been arrested:  thankfully somehow no 82. Cried when someone died:  soooo so so so sooo hard 83. Fallen for a friend:  yis :3

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself:  occasionally 85. Miracles:  nope 86. Love at first sight:  neh 87. Santa Claus:  well of course 88. Kiss on the first date:  duh 89. Angels:  uhm.

OTHER: 90. Current best friends name:  Adam is forever and always my number one, but I currently talk to/hang out more w my weed dude actually lmao he goes by Sweeney 91. Eye colour:  blue grey green idk depends on the light 92. Favorite movie:  I can’t focus on movies

tagging @thenimbus @hotalienexgirlfriend @ghoul-thirst @copy-paper @undrjoyed @nohomosuperior and ofc @aeternas