#also the two high school directors who were secretly married had big hall and murray vibes

[senorbeanbun]

i have many things to say about the summer camp au, but here is my first contribution.

Members of SMH as counselors i’ve worked with at an outdoor classical theater camp:

Jack: the camp director who, as a recent high school graduate, was thrown into the role with no warning the day before camp started. i was fully terrified of her and thought she hated me but in actuality she just cared very deeply about doing her job Well. just wants the kids to feel safe and cared for at all times. (is now my very soft roommate and best friend)

Bitty: the girl who lived in new mexico during the school year (her mom worked at the area 51 museum,) would always “accidentally” make too many cupcakes for her family and have to share, used to go to musical theater camp but had to switch to shakespeare when she moved, said at least once a day that she was “sweating like a sinner in church”

(more under the cut bc this is long as hell. sorry friends.)

Shitty: philosophy student with a sick flow and a cursing issue, made up the arbitrary system of “robert points” to bribe the campers into doing things for him like throwing away his garbage or being quiet at night, to curb cursing at camp would replace swears with the names of famous philosophers (this led to the older campers singing a version of Get Low that had the chorus “ah skeet skeet martin heidegger, ah skeet skeet thomas aquinas”)

Holster: this dude was Giant and shockingly amazing at theater, would recite entire shakespearien soliloquies at the drop of a hat, when i was a child he used me as a human battering ram during capture the flag and broke my finger, then proceeded to cry while apologizing profusely for damaging fragile goods (he then wore me around as a sash the next day to make up for it)

Ransom: girl who studied biochemistry of infectious diseases at school, once ate 7 cupcakes in one day then had an asthma attack, would get songs stuck in her head but only one line that she would repeat endlessly, this was usually “oOoh here she comes” from Maneater, once lost her mind and stayed up all night muttering the “i ain’t get no sleep” vine and writing out the whole thing in calligraphy on her clipboard.

Lardo: girl who cared more about art than actual theater so would only work in the scene shop, unless the 1st-3rd graders came and she spent all her time with them, they Literally worshipped her and would follow her like ducklings, hard to read and very straightforward, this made everyone desperate to be her friend and feel very special for being liked by her