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#also the twitter sky is falling
real-life-cloud · 11 months
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im GOING to write today ........ i WILL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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honestlyvan · 1 year
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As someone who doesn’t use Twitter and hasn’t used it since 2016, at this point I feel like every even slightly Twitter-esque (let alone overt Twitter-esque) design choice Tumblr makes gets yelled about because People Really Just Fucking Hate Twitter whether they realise it or not.
Which, like. Fair ‘nuff. I also hate Twitter, which is why I don’t use it. But nobody ever really gives these design decisions any time to percolate on this site in favour of kneejerk “they changed it and we hate it” reaction. Public likes are not new. Multiple tabs on a dashboard (some of them not things you opted into seeing) are not new. Having to block ads with external tools is not new (and it’s a big deal that photomatt said the words “ad blocker”, like, you couldn’t get that shit on any other profit-driven site, everyone is too scared for their precious monetisation)
The new sidebar, also, I think is pretty ugly right now but it’s probably going to go through a few iterations. I, personally, really wish they’d put the search bar literally anywhere else (maybe group search and discovery together IDK I’m not an UX designer) and I think accessing sideblogs has been too complicated for a while now, but none of those are the same as “this looks like The Other Blue Site”.
Like I’m not a graphic designer. I am certainly not a fucking UX designer, and I think those people are either all nuts or all geniuses. I’m pretty sure the new layout is being extensively heatmapped rn, and what changes it’ll undergo are gonna be done based on that, based on comments that are along the lines of ‘this change would make me more productive’ and less on “WEEEEEH CHANGE IT BACK CHANGE IT BACK CHANGE IT BACK”. 
Your animosity towards change is not meaningful user experience information. You misclicking on shit more *is*. If this layout is really *that* bad and terrible, Automattic’s research tools will demonstrate it as such. The developers now are actually much better versed in Web 2.0 design, for better and for worse.
#van stuff#Also like yes I also hate the touchscreenification of desktop sites#as someone who does not have and does not want a touch screen computer#but that's not a design trend I get to dictate as I am in fact a minority user for this site#and the complaints I am tired of seeing are also coming from other legacy minority users of desktop#There are many good UX reasons to opt for a vertical layout instead of a horizontal one#and I think the majority reason is so that people who are on mobile and desktop simultaneously don't have to have two different brainmaps#for their muscle memory on this site#but like... the vertical sidebar is not the same as 'randomly swapping 'Close' and 'Post'' lol#the top of the screen horizontal bar still does things and there's way less empty space there now#and I get wanting negative space and less screen clutter#like... that's the ONE criticism of this update I can agree with#but that's STILL NOT THE SAME as 'arbitrarily fucking over the muscle memory of EVERY site user'#how many people on this site *ever* move out of their dashboard? I know I do!#but I think it's the minority of people considering the user-curated model of propagation this site is still#*actively* promoting#This site looking superficially more like twitter doesn't change that!#like the sky is not falling call me when they eliminate the ability to browse the tags in favour of a flat search#AGAIN#remember when we had that? Remember how *BAD* it was?#remember how much easier finding stuff became when we got 'browse tags' back as the default search?
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1-ufo · 11 months
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More notes about things I thought about but posted on twitter instead
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My Honey ♡ My Bee (fic)
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Link to Art (credits go to @munchr00m (elaine !) on Twitter!): Sethos/Scaramouche
Summary: Wanderer and Sethos hang out, but Scara’s thoughts and uncertainty about their dynamic in the future end up eating at him. Sethos reassures him through convincing means.
A/N: SethoScara!! These two have me in a chokehold and the art and fanfics for these two are amazing. And here is my contribution :) Inspiration for this fic comes from this post. I did my best to retain Scara’s bratty attitude, but I also wanted to show a softer and vulnerable side to him. So, I’m sorry if Scaramouche seems OOC to you all. With that being said, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
P.S. There is a small scene that might be slightly NSFW to some, you’ll see it when you get to it, so you can skip the section until you don’t see any of the stuff you don’t want to see. Can’t reveal too much for spoilers. If anyone’s interested in me writing a smut fic (would be my first!) for these two, let me know! I’ll leave a poll :)
Word Count: 1965 Also on AO3!
The sky was a mix of red and orange hues as the sun set over the horizon. At the base of a tree outside of Sumeru City sat Wanderer and Sethos. The two of them have grown to like each other’s presence and made the tree their special spot to be with one another.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Sethos spoke.
“You have poor taste in beauty,” Scaramouche answered, making Sethos chuckle. “That wasn’t supposed to be funny.”
“Hehe, I know. I never get tired of your responses.”
“Hmph, weirdo.”
A comforting silence settled afterward before Scaramouche spoke again.
“Why…Why do you keep putting up with me?”
The seriousness in his tone made Sethos look at him with concern.
“What do you mean?”
“I’m a nobody. Someone who tried to become a god. A puppet that was thrown away because they were useless. One that makes mean and snarky comments. Why? Why do you want to be with someone like me?”
A surprised look crossed Sethos’s face.
“Isn’t it obvious? It’s because I like being with you.”
Scara’s eyes widened as Sethos continued.
“I was curious about your mysterious past and kept pestering you until you told me. When you did, I didn’t turn away disgusted or begin to hate you. All it did was make me want to be with you even more.”
Conflicting emotions and uncertainty ran through Wanderer's eyes before they were stopped by a hand on his cheek.
“You dare-” Scara started, making a move to swat Sethos’s hand away before Sethos started stroking his cheek with his thumb. He went quiet as he made eye contact with Sethos who had an endearing expression on his face.
“I'll take care of you.”
I'll take care of you.
A flicker of light is shown behind Wanderer’s eyes upon hearing those words. But as quick as it came, his eyes darkened with uncertainty.
“It's rotten work.”
“Not to me.”
Surprised, stormy eyes met determined, loving ones.
“Not if it's you.”
Those words were an arrow to his heart as tears from decades of sadness, anger, and hurt threatened to fall. The world seemed to blur around him as his senses were solely focused on the man in front of him.
“The things you mentioned are in the past. It's time for you to move on and not let them plague your mind.”
Sethos leaned closer, accidentally making Scara’s hat fall off his head. The latter could hardly care as he felt Sethos comb his fingers through his hair and his breath on his face. Not to mention the soft lips that were barely a millimeter from his own.
“You aren't useless, Scara.”
Sethos’s warm breath hit him in the face as he spoke.
“You aren't a nobody either. Since our first interaction with one another, I was obsessed with you. Your hat. Your past. Your attitude. But most importantly, what hid behind those stormy eyes of yours. And the more I got to learn about you, I began falling for you. I wanted you. I liked you. I love being with you. Your sassy attitude, you calling me a busy bee, I cherished those moments. In my eyes, you are the perfect being and you have a place in my heart. I will go to the ends of the world to fight with you. To be with you. To…love you.”
Sethos pushed forward, softly planting his lips on Wanderer’s. He melted into the kiss, kissing back with fervor as Sethos took the lead.
“Sethohh- mmm~”
Sethos smiled into Scara’s mouth, taking pride in making him fall apart. Taking it a step further, he licked his lips asking for entrance. When he met no resistance and instead Wanderer parted his lips, he dove right in.
“Se- mmph! Mmhmm~”
“Mmm~”
Sethos sucked his tongue, making him roll his eyes in ecstasy as he tangled his fingers in Sethos's hair. Sethos deepened the kiss, gently pushing his back to the ground.
“S- ahh! Mmm~ Aah! Mmphahh~”
“Mmochi~ Hah! Scaraah~ Mmm~ You have hah~ too many ngh~ na- aah~ names~”
They continued their make-out session, drowning in each other's embrace and letting out their feelings for one another.
They broke for breath after some time. Sethos towering over Wanderer with his arms on both sides of his head and the latter laying his head back on the grass looking up at Sethos. His face was flushed, complimenting the pink and orange hues of the sky and Scara couldn't help but reach out a hand towards his cheek, caressing him.
“Beautiful,” he breathed out.
A red tint started to spread to Sethos's ears and a shy smile started to form.
“M-Me?”
“snort. Yes, you.”
He wrapped his arms around Sethos, bringing him down to his chest.
“I hate how you make me feel so mushy inside."
There's no bite behind those words. Instead, love and affection.
“It's my job now, honey~”
“Argh, Sethos.”
“What? You call me a bee, I call you honey. Plus, you are so sweet-”
“I am not sweet.”
“Yes, you are. Especially your taste. Sweet like honey. No wonder I am a bee that is so attracted to you~”
Scara just groaned, his face flushed red. “Where did you even learn to kiss like that?” he asked, changing the subject.
“Oh, that. Heh,” Sethos rubbed the back of his head, rolling off him and laying beside him.
“You know how they say the quiet ones are the interesting ones? I'm far from being quiet, but since being in the Temple of Silence, I tend to be alone in my thoughts a lot and my imagination runs wild. And when I first laid my eyes on you, I never stopped thinking what it would be like to kiss those lips of yours.”
Wanderer’s heart fluttered in his chest, knowing that Sethos was thinking of him from the first time they met.
“And how did it feel?” he asked, turning to him.
“We both know the answer to that.”
“I want to hear it from you.”
Sethos chuckled, facing him. “Alright, if you really want to hear it. It was the most amazing feeling in the world. The moment just felt right. When our lips touched, a pleasant tingling sensation traveled down my spine. Having your lips locked on mine, it just felt like we were meant to be together. Oh! Your moans. Don’t get me started on your moans. They were sweet as hon-”
“Okay, you are just teasing and trying to make me flustered.”
“Maybe~ Is it working?”
“Not even.”
“You sure about that? What's that reddening on your ears?”
“Oh, shut up.”
“Make me.”
“Is that a challenge?”
“What do you think?”
“Oh, you are asking for it, annoying bee.”
“I'll like to see you- ack! Ahahaha! T-Tihihickling is cheheating!”
Scaramouche smirked, hearing his giggles as he tased his sides with ease. “Aw. Sucks to be you then~”
“Wahahait! Nohohoho fahahair!”
Scara draped himself over Sethos, lazily tracing random patterns from his shoulder blades to his neck to his chest and back again.
“Doesn't take much for me to make you giggle, little bee.”
“Hahahaha! Mohohochihi! Gehehet off mehehehe!” Sethos tried to roll around to no avail.
“Hmm, let me think about it,” Scara put on a fake thinking face for a few moments before he began to knead Sethos’s hips making him choke on a surprised laugh. “Nah.” A smug look crossed his face. “I want to do this all day~”
“GAhahaha! Nohohoho! You ahahare- NAHAHAHA! Nohot thahat SPOHOHOT!”
Sethos shrieked as his lover dug his fingers into his armpits causing him to clamp them down.
“You are losing, my love~” Wanderer teased, rubbing deep circles into his lover's armpits causing him to howl with laughter.
“AHAHAHA! HOHOHONEY! IHIHIT TIHIHICKLES SOHOHO BAHAHAD!”
“Oh really? Here, let me help. Tickle tickle tickle~”
“THAHAHAT’S NOHOHOT HEHELPING! YOU’RE MAHAHAKING IHIHIT WOHORSE!”
“How about this? Coochie coochie coo~”
“STAHAHAP TEHEHEASING MEHEHEHE! AHAHAHA!”
“I have no idea what you are talking about,” Scara said, playing dumb.
“YOHUHU LIAHAHAR! YOU- GAHAHAHA! NOHOHO!”
Sethos squealed as Scara used his thumb to massage his upper ribs.
“PLEheaSE ScahahARA!”
“Oh, my ticklish, little bee. Begging already? We are barely getting started~”
He decided to have a little mercy on Sethos, slowing down, so he could take a breather.
“Thahank youhuhu,” he giggled out.
“I’ll tell you what,” Scara started. “If you don’t laugh for 5 minutes straight, you win the challenge and get to tickle me to your heart’s content. If you lose, get ready to be tickled without mercy.”
“Pfft, 5 minutes. I can handle that. Challenge accepted!”
Wanderer inwardly grinned, his scheme working as he kissed Sethos with passion. Being caught off guard, Sethos quickly recovered, returning the kiss, unaware of the one hand that was inching closer and closer to his side until-
“MMPHAHAHA!”
Perfect.
“Noho! Youhuhu caught mehe off guahard!”
“I win~” Scara cheekily said. “Seems like that was your best… what a pity.”
“You planned that from the start!” Sethos pouted.
He stuck his tongue out towards Sethos. “Bleh, I win and that is all that matters. Come here and give me my prize.”
He lunged toward Sethos, leaving him no time to escape before he crawled his fingers under his clothes and attacked his tummy.
“I’ll geHEt yOUhu bahACK! AhAHAhAha!”
“Keep on dreaming little bee~”
After what felt like an eternity to Sethos of Wanderer skittering his fingers along his sensitive spots and teasing him to oblivion, his lover let up, lying right beside him.
“Mouchehe, you’re a ruhuthlehess tihickler.”
“Heh, that means that I’m still good at it or you are just too ticklish for your own good, or maybe both.”
“Scaraaa.”
They both fell into a peaceful silence as they stared up at the now starry sky, enjoying each other’s presence.
“Sethos?” Wanderer’s voice was soft when he spoke his name.
“Hmm?”
“Your words from before, I wanted to hear someone say those words to me for so long.”
“Which ones? You being sweet?” Sethos teased.
“Sethos,” Scara groaned. “I’m trying to be vulnerable here.”
“Hehe. Sorry sorry,” he chuckled, turning towards him and hugging him.
“I’m talking about when you told me you’d take care of me,” Scaramouche continued, snuggling into his embrace. “How it’s not rotten work to you and how you love me.”
He took a breath before continuing.
“It's all I ever wanted. Someone to say those words to me.”
A shooting star raced through the sky, lighting up his eyes. Sethos saw hope and a new spark of life in those mesmerizing eyes of his.
“I know I’m a bratty character and that’ll probably never go away, but I love you. I truly love you, even if I don’t show it at times. And…and I’ll go to the ends of the world for you too.”
Sethos could see the tips of his ears reddening and he inwardly grinned at how cute he was before going in for a quick peck on the cheek.
“Mochi, I love you so much. You are so freakin cute right now. But in all seriousness, I’m happy that you are in my life and I can’t wait to spend all of it with you. My sweet, honey love.”
“Archons, you are going to be the death of me you mushy bee.”
Sethos brought their lips together for a slow and soft kiss. Knocking their foreheads softly together, both of them stared into each other’s eyes, enjoying the moment before pulling away. Sethos was the first to stand up, grinning from ear to ear. Wanderer shook his head in amusement, picking up his hat and setting it atop his head before reaching out towards his lover’s outstretched hand. They started their way back into the city, hand in hand with fingers entwined.
My Honey.
My Bee.
More questions are in the Google Form if you want to provide more feedback. Plus, the question for a potential smut fic. Thank you again for reading and your time :)
Link to Google Form
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gavisimmaculaterizz · 6 months
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bb can u write something like jude coming home from practice and being angry, mad or something, and just storming off in his room, and later on (female) reader falls asleep on the couch teary eyed bcz she doesn't know what she did wrong
— bother / jude bellingham.
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summary: jude cant hold in his anger from losing his match, resulting in a distant jude.
warnings: a bit of angst ??
masterlist
as the final whistle blew, distant whistles and boos came from the santiago bernabéu. the night in madrid was cold, the huge loss of the white giants filled the madrid air with coldness. as fans exited the stadium, jude proceeded to go to the locker room furious. he couldn’t help but feel anger, not being able to help his team out with at least scoring a goal. he disappointed the fans, maybe even his girlfriend. he mentally cursed himself out for not showing his potential, preparing for the hate he’d get on twitter by fellow madridistas.
meanwhile at the comfort of your shared apartment, you couldn’t help but feel a bit of sadness watching your boyfriends team lose heavily. you turned off the television, feeling sadness wash over you, over the terrible result in the bernabéu that just happened moments ago. you hated seeing your boyfriend sad, knowing these type of losses affected him heavily.
a couple hours later, the noise of bags falling echoed around the silent home. you ran to jude, excited to hug him and welcome him in. when reaching the tall british, you were welcomed with a cold and distant jude. “hey babe how was your game?”, you asked your boyfriend. upon your question, jude’s facial expression changed heavily. “what do you mean how was my game? did you even pay attention to what just happened?”,he asked furiously. his words hit you like a cold dagger that was plummeted into your heart, dry and distant, with a hint of anger still lingering in his voice. “do you want to talk about it?”, you asked trying to console your boyfriend. his words broke you, all you tried to do was ask if his game went okay, even though you’d know what his response would be. “no, god just leave me alone— you’re such a bother y/n.”, jude stated furiously. he quickly stormed off to your shared room, shutting the door loudly, letting you know to not even step foot into the room. your heart broke, you couldn’t contain your tears anymore.
you ran to your living room in tears, only seeing blurriness, and tasting the saltiness water streaming down your face. you mentally cursed yourself out feeling guilty for making him angry, even though it was not your fault at all. you knew he was a bit pissed off from his game still , but you never meant to provoke him even more than he was. you laid down on your sofa, grabbing a blanket and covering yourself completely. you wanted to give him space, let him cool down a bit.
meanwhile in your little bubble, your thoughts raced, ‘was it my fault for making him angry?’ you kept sobbing, overloading yourself with these negative thoughts. you let yourself cry until you couldn’t anymore. all you let out were heavy breaths which occupied the quiet home. with all the crying, it made you sleepy, and you couldn’t help but doze off into the night sky. you would soon be awaiting your boyfriends apology in the morning.
but was he right about you being a bother..?
a/n: i kind of tweaked it a bit anon!! also this is my first fic so im mentally cringing at myself bc im not used to this 🙁, so i hope yall like it
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sunshine-dies · 1 month
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repost of earlier svsss AU minus the art because i was rudely flagged down smh
art is now available on twitter!
my train stop for the arbour discord event! a lovely little monster!Shen Yuan AU with some classic obsessive affection from both Shen Yuan and Binghe, classic! i gave it the title "PIDW Playthrough: Easy Mode"
in this au Shen Yuan actually transmigrates well before Binghe is born. he's supposed to transmigrate into Shen Qingqiu's body (hence some silmilarities in facial shapes, as much as Shen Yuan currently has discernible facial shapes) but Shen Qingqiu is still very much alive and kicking (and still a street urchin), so the System hits a wall with where to put him. this causes Shen Yuan's soul to "fester" in a way, and grow into a virus that then turns on the System.
yes, he eats the System. as a treat for all the system haters out there. this means that he successfully consumes everything the System contained, including the mandatory story structure and information on nearly every parameter of the PIDW world, among other things. the only issue is that this information takes a lot of time and effort to actually digest, and it puts him in a kind of coma, which means he wakes up approximately a year into Binghe's tutelage and abuse on Qing Jing Peak.
Shen Yuan wakes up as a creature that exists in the blank spaces of PIDW, in the shadows and beneath rocks and in the dark night sky. he also wakes up incredibly weak, with barely any power and in a body that is formless and so undefined that he has trouble interacting with the world around him. he has knowledge though, a lot of it, and he uses it to find his way to Qing Jing Peak and to the woodshed where Luo Binghe sleeps. their first encounter begins with Shen Yuan sneaking in through the gap beneath the door, tugging a small jar of medicine with him. Luo Binghe's body recognises his presence as something ancient and eldritch, even as his mind struggles to see what's so scary about a puddle of shadows with two bright blue, rectangular eyes. and so the saga of Shen Yuan living in Luo Binghe's shadows begins. Shen Yuan gathers his strength while following Luo Binghe around, giving him advice after advice, teaching him, helping him practise. for every punishment Shen Qingqiu doles out, Shen Yuan commits a petty crime or two, although Binghe insists that it's fine. he's loyal to Shen Yuan now, who seems happiest when he manages to help Luo Binghe, and who teaches him more and better than any other hallmaster.
Shen Yuan goes on all available side-quests, saving Liu Qingge in the Lingshi-caves and assisting Luo Binghe and Cang Qiong as a whole during the demonic invasion. he's pulled into the dreamscape Meng Mo builds for Luo Binghe, where Luo Binghe once again refuses to take Meng Mo as his Shizun. when the Immortal Alliance Conference rolls around, Shen Yuan helps Luo Binghe in his battle with the Black Moon Rhynoceros Python when his cradle seal breaks, but hesitates when Shen Qingqiu is about to push Luo Binghe into the Abyss. he ultimately lets him, if only so that Binghe will finally be free from Shen Qingqiu's abuse. they fall together, Shen Yuan cushioning Luo Binghe's landing, and then they search for Xin Mo together. with Shen Yuan's knowledge it's laughably easy, and they resurface in the Demon Realm a few months later, where Shen Yuan insists that they spend some time in seclusion so that Binghe can grow into his new body and his new sword (which Shen Yuan somehow bullies into being relatively docile. he's an omnipotent eldritch monster, he can totally do that. i don't make the rules). neither of them says anything about how nice this seclusion is, or how they kind of don't want to go back to society ever again.
demonic heritage and Xin Mo mastered, they go on a roadtrip to absolutely demolish Mobei Jun and every other Demon King/Demon Noble/etc. and gain power in the Demon Realm. Shen Yuan insists that they do so for the sake of reaching Luo Binghe's "bright, glorious fate" (minus the wives, which he bristles at the mere thought of. his sweet Binghe is too good for those shallow women!). Luo Binghe is not sure he cares enough so long as he gets to curl up among Shen Yuan's silky-soft, gentle tendrils every night and gets to hear him ramble on about this or that random monster they came across. one day, as he's cleaning Xin Mo at the edge of a bloodied battlefield with Shen Yuan at his back telling him what a good job he did, he says so. Shen Yuan is confused - doesn't Binghe want power and riches and revenge? but Luo Binghe tells him he doesn't really care at all, so long as Shen Yuan stays with him.
that's as far as i thought, so cue the obligatory Shen Yuan freak-out (can a mass of non-binary but male-identifying shadows be gay? maybe it's better not to put a label on it) aaaand yeah they totally get married. they probably get a small cottage in the middle of nowhere relatively close to a village and live a quiet, happy existence for the rest of their lives, occasionally interrupted by this or that demon or cultivator appearing to kill Luo Binghe the demon emperor and bring his head back as retribution for his or her ancestors (Binghe totally ditched his half-assembled empire for that monster D. he does not give a fuck). maybe they go on adventures together. Shen Yuan gets infinite chances to infodump, and Luo Binghe stares at him with heart eyes as he listens. win-win.
cut to Shang Qinghua frantically panicking about where the protaginst is. nothing gets resolved, but at least bingyuan are happy, i guess. maybe Shang Qinghua gathers his energy and helps Mobei Jun usurp the throne instead. or not. what do i know.
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intothefrisson · 4 months
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🌊 Dormiveglia Master Post
Rating: T (SFW)
(CW: drowning, blood, feelings of depression and helplessness, existential dread)
Updates: Biweekly on Tuesdays (PST) (Sometimes Weekly) (Unless stated otherwise)
🌊 Pages:
Pages 1-2 Pages 3-4 Pages 5-7 Pages 8-9 Pages 10-11 Pages 12-13 Page ??? Pages 14-15 Pages 16-17 Pages 18-19 Pages 20-21 Pages 22-23 Pages 24-25 Pages 26-27 Pages 28-29 Pages 30-34 Pages 35-36 Pages 37-38 Pages 39-40 Pages 41-42
(Ongoing)
Anticipated length: 67 Pages (may be changed)
🌊 Short Sci-fi Stories referenced:
Ray Bradbury's "A Sound of Thunder" 1952 Edward Page Mitchell's "The Clock That Went Backward" 1881 Robert F. Young's "The Dandelion Girl" 1961
🌊 Full Illustrated Pieces
Cover Can't you weather the storm you've wrought? Are we falling...or flying? Underneath a blue sky, we yearn. Sinking, Sinking... Desire or D̴̟͖̙̲̗̮͈̹̞̬͉͎͎̋̚͝ͅẹ̶̖̬̣̎̆̉̐ś̶̛͉͙̜̮̲̯͉͙͎͇͖̪̩̻̩̋̅̅͌̽p̴̧̢̬̳̗̝͕͎͔͍̳͗͛̒̓̄ͅͅa̸̜̮͐̒͐̉̀͆͐͐̒ȋ̷̢͙̬̜͙̹͎̅̅̅̾̅r̸̮͕̠̗͘? Proof Fever Stricken
🌊Music Playlist
I created a music playlist of songs that inspired some of the panels/artworks or that I listened to on repeat that probably influenced the comic in some way
You can listen to it here on this youtube playlist!
🌊AO3 Version
You can now read the current Dormiveglia pages on AO3!
🌊Where else can I read this?
Instagram (There is no good sorting system on Instagram I am so sorry) Twitter Patreon (I have yet to compile all of the public pages yet) My website
🌊 Additional Information
I'll be sharing early access pages, notes, time-lapses, and the process of creating this manga on my patreon!
You can also find this manga on Twitter where I am more active!
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okwonyo · 3 months
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﹙ ✉️ ﹚ ──TRACK 15 ;PASSIONATE。in which ⸝ 𝗁𝖾𝖾𝗌𝖾𝗎𝗇𝗀 𝗂𝗌 𝒶𝖽𝖽𝗂𝖼𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎.
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엔하이픈 희승 ⠀ ノ⠀ female reader 1200 florist!reader fluff getting together friends to lovers⠀⎯⠀⠀awkwardness skinship lots of talking ⠀, recueil . . . ( click )
ꣀ꣒ this is stan twitter’s chapter 14 .. there is a lot of talking here. i hope it is possible to read as a stand alone and that you’ll enjoy reading it ~
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it isn’t as weird as you thought it would be. the weather is nice, like a normal day this month.heeseung arrived five minutes in advance, with a huge smile on his face, you were almost scared that his teeth will fall out.
he also had flowers he bought, that weren’t made with your own two hands this time, you accepted them with an awkward laugh and a blush appearing on your cheeks. you looked less embarrassed during that moment than when he stared at you, from up to down, then down to up, sly grin creeping on his lips. you opted for a white top that paired with your white shorts ─ nothing too much but enough for him to tell you that you were breathtaking. you didn’t really know how to respond, choosing to return the compliment, he became red in the face.
he held to door for you when you entered the garden, as if he was the one who owned the shop. there is a small plate-form, in the middle of the flowers, a square in beige tiles where you dressed the table for your date. you both agreed to do that in a discreet place, and you couldn’t think of anywhere else but the places you spent the last weeks gardening together.
the lunch went smoothly. you were both sitting awkwardly in front of each other for a few minutes, as if you weren’t used to heeseung’s clingy antics already, but it went over the window pretty quickly. legs crossed under the table, your feet tap against his caf gently, he opens his palms so your fingertips can do the same on them.
during a soft and comfortable silence, you speak, “you know, you are so cool,” you start, heeseung eyes on you lingers as you keep tapping on his palm. “whenever is see you─ and i know you don’t want to talk about it but i need to elaborate my point─ whenever i see you on stage, it’s just like you are born to be here.” you take a deep breath, trying to calm the beating of your heart getting faster. stress, you hate it, “and this is why i have always liked you─you are─” too much words stumble over their feet in your brain, none of them can attain your mouth with falling. “so passionate, about your job, your music, life and” you press your lips together, finally looking up. heeseung gaze is full of understanding, yearning, pining and longing for you. “even about me.”
he opens his mouth, you continue to talk, “and for the longest time i thought that i would only see as such. as the man on stage who always gives his all, like─like a star in the sky that you admire but cannot touch” he whispers something about how he is right in front of you, you giggle, “and you are here, and i learned so much things about you─ and i find myself being passionate about you. not only because of who you are on stage but because of who you are, here, in front of me.”
“i’m so scared of what it this, passion,” you can’t say the stronger word, “will have as an impact on who you are─ even if you don’t want me to treat you as such─ that idol on stage, that i still reached somehow, with such an amazing career coming ahead. and i don’t want to ruin that for you.”
there is a long silence, when you finish your, sort of, confession monologue. heeseung watches you with his mouth slightly agape and his eyes a ta widened. his hands are gripping onto yours now, his warmth shallow your skin whole and the weather doesn’t help much.
“you─” he starts, and he smiles. “talk so much.”
you kick his leg under the table and he lets out a pained sound, “i’m being serious here,” you chuckle.
“i wanted to kiss you during that whole monologue.” he says and you roll your eyes, “i’m serious, you where talking about how amazing i was and how scared you where, which i understand. but the only thing only thing on my mind,” your breath catches when he finishes his sentence with the calling of your name. “you are the only one i want, and i will be willing to do anything to keep you safe.
“i didn’t even mention me there,” you sigh, “i was talking about you.”
heeseung huffs, his thumb rubbing your skin and smooth motion, “i know, you don’t think about your safety so i have to do it for you,” he interlock your fingers together, you watch him with a smile growing on your lips. “we’ll take care of each other, yeah?”
you only hum, focusing on his fingers between yours, the tight yet gentle grip makes you feel in a way that you can’t quite describe. heeseung eyes, however, stares are something else. not your eyes nor your hair, something that he feels has been calling him for a while now.
like a siren in the ocean, the peachy hue gently resting on your lips attracts him. soon, your mouth is the only thing occupying his mind. it gets worse when your eyes focuses on him again, wide and charming, he can’t do anything but lean in.
he wouldn’t be able to tell if it’s the sun, reflecting hard on the back of his head or just, you, but he feels dizzy─ and his only medicine is one if your kisses.
“can i?” he whispers, for only you to ear. the gape between the both if you get slowly smaller and smaller, as much as your lips are calling him, his do the same to you.
it only takes a nod of yours to finally make you both meet in between.
his lips presses softly, firmly and eagerly against yours. as if he as been waiting for this for years, which feels like the truth, his nose lets out a sigh, a desperate sigh.
he misses your hand in his, but he forgets about it quickly when it finds his hair. your taste is so addicting, he slips his hands on you cheeks, cupping them, he pulls you closer than the table in between the two of you lets him. he tilts your head to the side, the sweet tast of the soda he just drank feels your mouth when his tongue slips through your lips. he is too addicted to you to even remember to breathe, you are the one who break the kiss.
his lips are swallowed and shiny, just like yours, “i think i’m in love with you,”
you snort, “you don’t know anything about me,” as if it wasn’t a blatant lie. he tends to ask a lot of questions and you like to elaborate on your answers. which is just perfect.
still, he plays along, “i have the rest of my life to find out.”
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apas-95 · 11 months
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Honestly, if your analysis of events doesn't take into account that armed Palestinian resistance is much more of a threat to israel than westerners posting on twitter is, it's not just ill-considered, it's chauvinistic
The start of the ground invasion is a great example of this, because the narrative surrounding it is still, basically, 'israel had to delay the ground invasion because of how bad they were looking, and cut off gazan communications so we wouldn't be able to see what was happening'. While I'm sure these considerations were somewhere in the IOF planners' minds, especially in the destruction of communications infrastructure, it's absolutely doubtless that they were far, far below the direct tactical benefits of these acts. The IOF has in earlier stages of the conflict stated they were beginning a ground invasion without actually carrying through, in order to draw out fighters; and the current escalation in conflict was carried out with clear confidence on the Palestinian side that israel was unwilling to engage in a ground invasion. By both releasing conflicting reports on the state of a ground invasion and then immediately targeting communications infrastructure, the IOF created an uncertain situation for resistance military intelligence.
Again, is controlling their optics and public image important to israel? Certainly, they have government departments dedicated to it, and have targeted journalists specifically during their wider assault on Palestinian society. However, these are without a doubt secondary considerations for their military decisionmaking. If the pursuit of public image would negatively impact their basic military capability, it would fall by the wayside. The sheer fact that they continue carrying out their program of ethnic cleansing and invasion should speak to this - surely their image would improve if they stopped! The idea that the IOF would delay an attack on the people actively firing rockets at the territory they occupy, raiding their military bases, taking their officers prisoner, and eviscerating their armoured columns — out of fear of a supposedly greater threat, in the form of westerners posting online? It is not just ridiculous, it is an insult to the actual organised resistance to israeli occupation. 'They're afraid of how much we're doing against them', when stated by a group that can barely organise any material disruption of military logistics, is myopic.
Moral positions do not stop bombs falling from the sky, and the sum total of all online posts have not delayed the advance of even a single tank by one second. Failing to reckon with this fact does not just lead to an over-inflated sense of achievement, but also a denigration of actual, material action. Why does anyone bother risking their lives engaging the spearhead of imperialist military forces, when the "minimum effort, maximum impact" strategy of posting on twitter apparently does just as much, if not more? Organise, strike, actually leverage what material power you do have. Nothing else will stop or even slow the dying.
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e-vangeiion · 1 year
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Falling into the sky—fall for me
You can also find this on my twitter
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wangxianficfinder · 29 days
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Fic Finder
Aug 29th
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1. hello! i’ve been looking for a fic that involves an OC (i think?) that acts as a beard for nie huaisang. it was wangxian centric but that’s the main detail i remember. thank you!
FOUND? 🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 859k, WangXian, WIP, Fix-it of sorts, Talisman master WWX, Not JFM Friendly, Study Arc, Getting together, Fluff and Angst, Engagement) has NHS getting himself engaged to a female OC that he has no romantic interest in (& vice versa - she's a lesbian) because she has useful skills
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2. hi! Do you recall a fic where wwx was like an omega courtesan in a school who was bought by lxc for lwj. Mianmian was also there with him too for a bit. I remember a scene where lwj got mad at wwx for wanting to wash him. They fall in love eventually. If you could find this fic I'd be grateful! 🙏
FOUND! Rattling our cages by danegen (E, 69k, wangxian, A/B/O, but like polite, Slow Burn, Pining while fucking, so much hair combing, WWX has a vagina, POV WWX, no yin iron or wars or plot really, Canon Era, spiders–see the notes, Spanish Translation Available)
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3. Hello! Thank you for all the work that you all do <3
I've been trying to look for a fic for some time now. I think it had wangxian pretty much adopting a little girl. Like the girl is an orphan and just keeps clinging to wx and being super sticky and I think there was a plot in her backstory dealing with resentment. Wwx knew abt it but lwj did not figure it out until later i think. This girl just accompanied them on some nighthunt or smth. The story has the Lan take in orphans due to reasons(tm) and the girl was one of them.
FOUND! the low sky, raining over by chibilwj (thelogicoftaste) (M, 37k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Kid Fic)
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4. Hi. I have a fic to find. In this fic, instead of Yanli dying at Nightless City, Lan Zhan gets critically injured and it sends Wei Wuxian into a spiral. Lan Xichen is very angry at him and will not let him anywhere near his body.
Thank you for your help.
FOUND? If I Could Go Back in Time by Runningbarefoot (M, 122k, WangXian, NieLan, Canon Divergence, Role Reversal, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Grief/Mourning, YL WWX, Eventual Happy Ending, The Twin Jade Brotherhood, Hurt/Comfort, Character Study, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Dynamics, Slow Burn)
FOUND? 🔒❤️ kick at the darkness ‘til it bleeds daylight by AlfAlfAlfAlfAlf, tardigradeschool (T, 75k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Eventual Happy Ending, Getting Together, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Inspired by The Parent Trap (1998), Kid Fic, teen shenanigans, two a-yuans, Fluff and Angst)
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5. hi this is for fic finder!! i’m looking for a fic where wangxian leave the cultivation world for a while with lan sizhui and only come back accidentally. i’m pretty sure everyone else thinks they’re dead and they might have been residing with baoshan sanren in her mountain. thank you!
FOUND? If It's Too Hard To Forgive by Machevalli (M, 94k, WIP, WangXian, XuanLi, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Fluff and Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Yunmeng Jiang Sect Bashing, WWX Leaves the Yunmeng Jiang Sect, Top LWJ/Bottom WWX, Mpreg)
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6. Hello! I'm looking for a WangXian fic, they were both dragon shapeshifters, but they met each other in their dragon forms. They both assumed that the other was a regular dragon and both made the decision to commit to the relationship and live out their lives as dragons from now on. I think only when JYL visited and WWX turned human for her, LWJ realized that he was a shifter too. It might have been a twitter thread fic. Thank you so much for your help!!
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7. Looking for an arranged marriage au for wangxian. Yiling laozu wwx, he and lz don't know each other and lz is initially worried cause of wwx reputation. Wwx does the marriage, but doesn't immediately trust lz cause he could be a spy/sent to hurt wwx etc. Specifically there was a scene where people came and attacked wwx's household, I think wwx was away. Everyone hid in the cellars only to realize a-yuan was missing. Lz goes after him and saves a-yuan from being harmed but gets badly hurt.
This leads wwx to realize he can trust lz. Wwx may have taken lz's sword away before the attack cause of a misunderstanding and lz fought to protect everyone any way. And I think another scene lz comes out in his night clothes and yells at a group of cultivators who had come to rescue lz cause they thought something happened to him and lz is like why r yall breaking into my house in the middle of the night and the cultivators (lxc might have been with them) were like this is awkward.
but mebbe I just made it up/misremembered or accidentally combined things?
FOUND? 💖🔒 love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, YLLZ WWX, Arranged Marriage, political scheming, Gratuitous Domesticity, Mutual Pining, EXTREME SLOWBURN, the inherent eroticism of the forehead ribbon, The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, neither wwx nor lwj want to be Perceived, but sorry kids! it’s gonna happen!, rated E but the the NSFW stuff doesn’t begin until chapter 19!, bottom LWJ in chapter 20 and 27, Mojo’s post)
FOUND? Caught Between Sun and Shadows by Alliandra (E, 71k, wangxian, LXC & LWJ, grapshic depictions of violence, sunshot campaign, arranged marriage, YLLZ WWX, pining, battle husbands, versatile wangxian, falling in love, resentacles, sex pollen, fuck or die, golden core reveal, politics, hurt/comfort) also sounds like
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8. Fic finder? I'm suspecting it has been deleted but I need to try. It's a fanfic where wwx attempts s*ic*de (suicide) and jc finds him in the bathroom. He calls 911, he's hospitalized and all of that. Please help me 🥲🥲
FOUND! 总有一天; a place to hide (can’t find one near) by yiqie (E, 76k, WangXian, Modern AU, Pianist, Getting Together, Mental Health Issues, Suicide Attempt, Suicidal Thoughts, Depression, Hospitals, Overdosing, Eventual Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Additional Warnings In Author’s Note)
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9. a modern AU where LWJ and WWX reconnected at a party when Su She was hitting in LWJ, takes place in grad school and WWX doesn’t know they were dating until the end when they visit LWJ’s uncle’s cottage
thank you so much for your help!! @anonionsodelicious
FOUND? without your new eyes by anaphoricae (E, 66k, WangXian, Modern, Didn’t Know They Were Dating, Sexuality Discovery, Self-Discovery, Literal Sleeping Together, (there is so much sleeping in this fic), mentions of WWX/others and LWJ/others, Drunk LWJ, Teacher LWJ, WWX is a… throws dart… computer scientist, No Angst, Jealous WWX, Flirty WWX, Eventual Smut, Bottom LWJ, Fluff, Non-Sexual Intimacy, WWX’s Love Language is Physical Touch, Guess what: even more non-sexual sleeping together, the plot of the fic is just… co-sleeping, call it the Nap Fic ™, Podfic Available, WWX isn’t so much 'oblivious’ as he is wilfully blocking some feelings subconsciously, WWX 'idk how I feel’ to 'I’m gonna marry him’ pipeline)
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10. Hi im looking for a specific fic. The fic was on ao3 and was a modern au where Wei Ying realizes he might be a bit gay and kisses lan zhan but then freaks out, and they get a bit awkward. He then goes on to forums to see what others might think of his situation, he tries watching gay porn etc. and finds that he's dreaming of lan zhan. He ends up being jumped by homophobes goes on a drinking binge for the next few days as a result and hears that lan zhan has been staying in his room and hasn't been doing well, wei ying thinks it's because he kissed him but later finds out he sent lan zhan a homophobic message when drunk. Any help would be appreciated!!! @livesformitski
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11. Hello! I was hoping you can help me track this fic down!
In the fic Lan Zhan finds out about Wei Yings golden core and he schemes to get it back with Wen Qing no matter what. I think it was a dark lan Zhan fic?
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12. For FF, I am once again asking for wlw wangxian fics. There’s a specific one I can’t seem to find, wherein Lwj and wwx are roommates, and wwx is planning on moving out to mm’s bc she constantly hears lwj hooking up in her room, but there’s an issue at the new place or something so she keeps putting off moving out until eventually she’s convinced to stay when they get together
I’ve tried digging through tags but it’s giving me issues, I would appreciate you forever if you find it🙏🙏🙏
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13. Hi I'm looking for this wangxian fic but can't find it anywhere, I don't remember a lot but all I remember is lan wangji getting his lashes punishment and wei wuxian (who is alive) turning up getting angry and destroying all the clans. Yanli (also alive) - and I think zixuan- was like ' well what do you all expect, you've all brought this on yourselves'
Sorry I can't remember much else,
Thank you ☺️ @haseenaay99
FOUND? An arrow to the heart by IsilmeLasgalen (T, 47k, WangXian, SongXiao, XuanLi, ZhuiYi, LQY/NMJ, XiSang, A-qing/OYZZ, BSSR/LY, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, YLLZ WWX, WWX Lives, BAMF JYL, Protective WWX, Good Parents LWJ and WWX, Married WangXian Have Children, JGS "falls" down the stairs, Bad Parents JFM and YZY, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, JYL Lives, JZX Lives, Protective WN, Implied/Referenced Abuse, POV Multiple, Post-Sunshot Campaign, Cultivation Sect Politics)
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14. I'm looking for a Modern AU crack-fic-ish from Jiang Cheng's POV (I think?) where Wei Ying seems obliviously in a relationship, and later married, to Lan Zhan. It's also implied that maybe they're just trolling Jiang Cheng. @hiperfyxation
FOUND? Six in one hand by deliciousblizzardshark (T, 2k, WangXian, Modern: No Powers, Crack Treated Seriously, Compulsory Heterosexuality, POV JC)
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15. Hi i need help looking for a fic. I don’t remember much but it was a sort of time travel fic where wei wuxian goes back in time. I think there was a scene during the sun shot campaign where wangxian confess? I remember lan wangji being jealous of his future/ alternate self who is wwx’s husband
I’m so sorry I don’t remember more but please help me find this fic 🥹
FOUND! 🔒 if you can’t beat them, recruit them by moeblobmegane (T, 228k, Wangxian, NHS & WWX, WWX & WQ, Time Travel Fix-It, Conspiracy, Spies & Secret Agents, Team as Family, Found Family, Burial Mounds, Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, Pining, Morally Ambiguous Character, Rumors, Politics, Developing Friendships, Good Uncle LQR, Demonic Cultivation, YilingWei Sect) i think its - chapter 26
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16. Hi, this is for a fic finder. I’m looking for a fic where WWX is a Wen. When Lans were attacked, LWJ, LSJ and LJY were taken to Qishan but were taken under WWX’s wings and they were taken care of. It was lan sect bashing and LQR bashing. LWJ did not return to Lans. I just remember that towards the end of the fic, there was a scene where WWX asked his spies from each sect to come out and MXY came out from Jiang, XY came out from Nie and MY was from Jin. I thought I’ve bookmarked it but could find it. I also have checked Wen WWX compilations and War Prize LWZ compilations. Did not find in either list. I’d appreciate if anyone know the name! Thank you!
FOUND? To the Heavens and the Earth by IsilmeLasgalen (E, 77k, WangXian, WWX is a Wēn, POV LWJ, Good Parent LWJ, Marriage of Convenience, Accidental Marriage, Implied Mpreg, Time Travel, Canon Divergence, WWX Isn't Adopted by the Jiāngs, CSSR and WCZ Live BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, Cultivation Sect Politics, Bottom LWJ, Top WWX, POV NHS, Protective LJY, Good Person WRH, Protective LXC, Immortal LWJ and WWX, POV LXC, Mpreg, WangXian in Love, Soft WangXian, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, POV JZX, Emperor WWX, Emperor LWJ, Past WWX/Other(s), Everybody Lives, Fluff, Angst, Smut, LWJ is LJY's Parent)
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17. Hi! I'm trying to find a fic where lej continuously aaja to play cleansing fir wwc but he keeps reusing cuz resentful energy is the only thing holding his body together but the eventually agrees and then almost dies but wen qung is there and then the course reveal happens and it angsty and wwc thinks lans wouldn't have cared if he told them cheating him if resentment could possibly kill him, thanku!
FOUND? 🧡 decay by antebunny (G, 15k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, Misunderstandings, Miscommunication, Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending, the fluffiest ending, Hurt/Comfort)
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18. Hello, this is a fic finder ask:
I’m not sure of the entire plot the the fic but I remember Meng Yao getting caught and being slapped by SiSi in front of the other sect leaders because of what he tried to do knowing his mom’s upbringing. He tries to play it off but he gets imprisoned in a Lanling Tower and isn’t allowed to use anything with strings because of what he did to Nie Mingjue.
FOUND? 💖🔒 love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, YLLZ WWX, Arranged Marriage, political scheming, Gratuitous Domesticity, Mutual Pining, EXTREME SLOWBURN, the inherent eroticism of the forehead ribbon, The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, neither wwx nor lwj want to be Perceived, but sorry kids! it’s gonna happen!, rated E but the the NSFW stuff doesn’t begin until chapter 19!, bottom LWJ in chapter 20 and 27, Mojo’s post) I think #18 is - chapter 30. But its only has the slapping part
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19. hi, I have a finder fic ask, well two actually:
A. jin guangshan tries to assault yanli but he is stopped but there’s a plot twist because yanli knew it would happen because jin guangshan has a special garden when he does that to people and she is maybe a time traveler so she sets him up to be caught
B. WWX has died and there’s a celebration happening and there’s this special guest that will be there, possibly called The Painter, and when they get there the guest actually sings the story of how the different sects are hypocrites and the guest curses all of them except Lan Wangji and when the guest goes to leave, they lift up their veil and reveal themselves to be baoshan sanren.
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20. Hi!!! I hope you're doing well. Please help me find this fic. It's a modern setting one, where I think WWX is sending LWJ suggestive pictures and videos of himself, and LWJ just doesn't know who it is. I think WWX is some kind of IT or something. I came across this fic on Twitter/X in a promotional of the AO3 fic, but I can't find it anymore. I forgot the parts of the fic but I know there's pictures and chat logs inserted in the fic. Please help me and thank you so much!!!
FOUND? might be this thread (unrolled because I don't have twitter)
also on ao3 its called + xx xxx xxx xxxx by 3neetee (E, 12k, WangXian, Modern, Shameless Smut, PWP, Dom/sub, Stalker WWX, Manipulative LWJ, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Masturbation, Rimming, Spanking, Spit Kink, Under-negotiated Kink, Identity Porn, Explicit/NSFW Pictures, Twitter threadfic, Semi-Public Sex, freak4freak wangxian)
~*~
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lex-loudestwoman · 1 year
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The Whole Story
Before we begin, a disclaimer: I believe that Taylor Swift and Karlie Kloss are in a romantic relationship together. I've come to this conclusion carefully by reading all the signs Taylor has given us through her lyrics, media presence, clothing & jewelry choices, marketing, visuals, and interviews. This is all a theory of what I think has gone down between Karlie and Taylor since 2013.
2013 & Earlier - The Beginning
VS Fashion Show 2013: The first official meeting of Karlie & Taylor was at the 2013 VS Fashion Show.
This may not have been their true first encounter (s/o @sophietv for her amazing work about this, she outlines all the times Kaylor interacted prior to the fashion show in 2013!).
According to a Teen Vogue interview in 2014, Taylor and Karlie were introduced to each other at the same time that Taylor met Emma Stone by Andrew Bevan of Teen Vogue. That was in 2008 at the Young Hollywood Awards.
After that first meeting in 2008, Taylor attended a number of fashion shows that Karlie walked in: Tommy Hilfiger Spring Show (9/16/2009); Rodarte Spring 2012 show in NYC (9/13/2011); Jean-Paul Gauthier in Paris (9/30/2012), Elie Saab Spring/Summer 2013 Show (10/3/2012).
Karlie & Taylor also both attended Roberto Cavalli's 40th Anniversary Party (9/30/2010) and the Met Gala in 2011. Teen Vogue included a quote from Karlie about the Met: "Taylor Swift. I was introduced to her at the Met Gala, and we joked about having a baking date!"
January 17th, 2012: The iconic Twitter interaction between Kaylor finally happens! Taylor's cover story with Vogue includes a quote about Karlie: "I love Karlie Kloss, I want to bake cookies with her!" Karlie tweets at her the same day the cover releases.
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2013 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
By the time the 2013 VS Show rolled around, I think they were already dating in some capacity, and the fashion show was a PR move. If Taylor & Karlie were going to become "close friends" in the public eye, they needed a high-profile, highly documented story about how they met to avoid questions about the nature of their close relationship.
Taylor performed I Knew You Were Trouble (Red) for the show, and she danced with Karlie on stage while 'snow' fell.
"So it goes, you two are dancing in a snow globe round and round." - You Are in Love, 1989
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Karlie later revealed in an interview that she had gotten a dramatic haircut during a Vogue shoot just before the VS Fashion Show began. This haircut was a big deal- she changed her look completely without talking to anyone about it, and Vogue asked her to keep it a secret until the shoot dropped. So she showed the VS Fashion Show like "surprise! New hair!" which drew up quite a buzz. Taylor's hair was pretty blonde and long at the time, not fully bleached but certainly lightened up in comparison to her natural hair color.
"flashback when you met me, your buzz cut & my hair bleached" - Dress, reputation
Karlie posted a ton of pictures from this event (most of which were of her and Taylor) on her Instagram. She also starts posting really sappy Instagram posts about being in love.
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I think that the November 14th, 2013 post about receiving your favorite flowers from the person you love is about Taylor Swift, but who's to say!
Then, on Friday, December 13th, 2013 (Taylor's 21st birthday, which I think she references in an interview sometime when she's talking about why she loves the number 13) Karlie posts two sugarplum fairy-related photos, capturing the scene in The Nutcracker where snow falls from the sky as delicate performers dressed in white dance along the stage. This is super Taylor-coded, giving YAIL, dancing in the damn snowglobe again.
Interesting caption there, Kar. "#flashbackfriday to the good old days as a sugarplum fairy myself (aka the day I peaked)"
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On December 14th, Karlie posts a solo shot on instagram and tags Josh with photo credit (this is hilarious that we let them just tell us whoever took their picture with absolutely no questioning whether they might be lying???). For some reason, I get the feeling that Taylor took this photo for Karlie the morning after her birthday when they were still together from celebrating the night before.
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2014 - You're My Best Friend
Taylor buys her massive Tribeca, NY Penthouse apartment in April 2014. The home was actually TWO penthouse apartments next door to each other, and then she bought a third townhouse unit next door in 2017, and in 2018 she bought an additional 3-bedroom unit in the same building. Go off NYC Real Estate Queen! Taylor moved into her iconic Cornelia Street apartment during a round of renovations at her Tribeca home in 2016.
Big Sur Trip
VS Fashion Show 2014
Vogue Cover
BEST Best Friends
1989 - October 27, 2014
"The inspiration that I found in that [New York] city is kind of hard to describe and hard to compare to any other force of inspiration I've ever experienced in my life." - Taylor Swift, discussing the importance of NYC in an interview with ABC News given on 10/20/2014 ahead of a 1989 promo single release for Welcome to New York (1989). That quote actually reminds me of a lyric from 1989: you understand now why they lost their minds & fought the wars, and why I've spent my whole life trying to put it into words (You Are in Love, 1989).
2015 - Hiding in Plain Sight
1989 era so many public appearances blah blah blah they were girlfriends in public kissgate gay whatever, everyone agrees that Karlie & Taylor were dating in 2015 during 1989 World Tour etc
2016 - Beards or Bust
Politics and Jared Kushner
The unfortunate reality of 2016 was that Donald Trump really did get elected president, and then he really did take office and become the President of the United States from January 2017 - January 2021. (Sadly, none of it was a nightmare or even a collective hallucination, all of this actually happened in the good old U.S. of A., yeehaw!!) The sociopolitical climate in the US is charged, fraught, uncertain, and divided. Even worse for Taylor & Karlie is their closeness to Jared Kushner, Josh's older brother who is married to Ivanka Trump. Jared served as a senior advisor to Donnie Boy for his entire term, and he did such a good job being Don's accomplice in negligent, ethnocentric, homophobic, misogynistic leadership from the White House that he was made the Director of the Office of American Innovation (this entire office was created by Trump in March 2017 and dissolved by Biden in January 2021).
I think (and this is JUST speculating, I have no real evidence compiled yet to back this up, but I'll look for it eventually) Jared Kushner & Ivanka Trump are also in a queer-bearding relationship contract. I'm not going too far into it now, but there's stuff out there for both Jared and Ivanka, like former Trump staffer Noel Casler's allegations that Jared is gay and in an "arranged marriage" with Ivanka, who doesn't care about his sexuality due to her own sexual opportunism and likely queer identity.
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If Jared and Ivanka really are queer and in a non-monogamous, mutually beneficial public relationship that allows them to co-parent their three children, then their involvement in the Trump administration makes things pretty damn unsafe if they ever were found out. So, I think that when Trump was elected, the entire Kushner family had to be super locked down to keep both Jared & Ivanka AND Josh & Karlie (and Mikey and Taylor) safe from any unwanted allegations.
Since the Kushner and Hess families hold international influence, wealth, and power, if all these billionaire men were suddenly outed as gay there could be serious economic and political consequences across the globe.
Not so coincidentally, Karlie and Taylor's last public event together was Lorde's birthday on Monday, November 7th, 2016. The 2016 Presidential Election took place on Tuesday, November 8th, 2016, which sealed the fate of the Kushner name to be attached to Donald Trump's Presidency. I believe that if Trump had not won (which no one expected him to do) Karlie & Taylor would not have started this Love Blackout.
This photo is the end of Kaylor's public friendship, and the start of their Love Blackout (shout out to @sophietv again for being the BEST!!)
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Joe Alwyn - A Perfectly Palatable Person
I'm sure when the team realized Trump might actually win the election, they started looking for an acceptable beard. Joe really was a great choice for Taylor's life: he had features similar to Karlie's (light eyes, tall, blonde hair), he didn't have much going on with his own reputation, he had a sparkling clean dating history - because Taylor was his first ever girlfriend, he was a fellow artist and was already media trained, and he was gay, too!
Met at the Met - May 2016
red herring lyric (tied to VS 2013 show)
First Reports - May 16, 2017
The Sun broke the news of Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn dating on May 16, 2017. According to Tree Paine a source, they had been secretly dating for months. It's later assumed that they started dating a few months before January 1, 2017, (revealed in a Lover journal released in 2019). Some sleuthing swifties connect a lyrical swap in the acoustic cover of "September" by Earth, Wind, and Fire as performed by our girl Taylor (Friday, April 13, 2018) to the diary entry and determine their anniversary was probably September 28, 2016.
Supportive Boyfriend Award? - December 8, 2017
Joe does something of heroic power. He goes to a concert with his popstar girlfriend. He apparently attended Taylor's performance in the iHeartRadio JingleBall in NYC and "stayed for the whole show and they later left together as well." lmao wut, okay, lots of people stayed for the whole show, this is such a boring relationship roll out, especially for Miss Extra!! (lovingly)
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Toe is Officially Official - May 8th, 2018
Joe finally takes his instagram off private mode and posts a picture of himself, alone, next to a big cactus. Taylor also posts a picture of herself, alone, near the same big cactus. Alright, I guess that *technically* counts as giving the public some confirmation that you two know each other, but I bet Tree was mad as hell when that was their "official instagram announcement."
Then, Joe joins Taylor at the opening night of the Reputation Stadium tour in Glendale, AZ. He wore a baseball cap low to cover his face and "stay incognito" (Joe, babe, no one knows who you are...but like okay i guess, be weird about your fame that you literally wanted and signed up for). But during the song Gorgeous apparently Taylor pointed at Joe in the VIP tent, while he proudly filmed her.
Taylor travels around the country for the Reputation Stadium Tour from May-November 2018. The Rep tour is SO, SO GAY, like Jesus Christ Lesbian Jesus save us from all the rainbow and bisexual flagging!! Check my twitter thread for a full analysis of how gay the Dress performance is.
Reputation Promo:
Taylor Swift socials
Karlie Kloss socials
Reputation, The Album
Reputation was released on November 10, 2017.I consider Reputation to be Taylor & Karlie's "I'm so in love that I might stop breathing" album. This is the honeymoon, this is the up all night, can't stop, won't stop, I need you more than air kind of love.
This album is all about the pining and desperately waiting, hiding their anticipation, hands shaking from holding back from touching each other where anyone might see them. Much like Taylor's own media presence & public interactions in the Reputation era, Kaylor had gone dark, nobody heard from them for months, but they're doing better than they ever were.
2018 - Desperate Measures
The honeymoon phase ends in 2018 as shit in America gets worse for queer folks. The sociopolitical climate is getting more dangerous now, and Trump's constant attacks on LGBTQIA+ rights & safety is making matters much worse. Jared Kushner & Ivanka Trump are in the media a lot now, which means all eyes are on Josh, too.
Toe is Officially Official - May 8, 2018
Joe finally takes his instagram off private mode and posts a picture of himself, alone, next to a big cactus. Taylor also posts a picture of herself, alone, near the same big cactus. Alright, I guess that *technically* counts as giving the public some confirmation that you two know each other, but I bet Tree was mad as hell when that was their "official instagram announcement."
Then, Joe joins Taylor at the opening night of the Reputation Stadium tour in Glendale, AZ. He wore a baseball cap low to cover his face and "stay incognito" (Joe, babe, no one knows who you are...but like okay i guess, be weird about your fame that you literally wanted and signed up for). But during the song Gorgeous apparently Taylor pointed at Joe in the VIP tent, while he proudly filmed her.
Taylor travels around the country for the Reputation Stadium Tour from May-November 2018. The Rep tour is SO, SO GAY, like Jesus Christ Lesbian Jesus save us from all the rainbow and bisexual flagging!! Check my twitter thread for a full analysis of how gay the Dress performance is.
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Instead of hosting her usual big 4th of July Party at the Holiday House in RI, Toe goes on vacation to Turks & Caicos to celebrate the holiday. They call Backgrid to take a few pictures of them "frolicking" at the beach together. I'm so convinced, they're in LOVE!! Can't get enough of each other!! They totally hold hands all the time, this feels so natural and not weird at all!
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Karlie posts a few photos in a row about the 4th of July this year. First, she's in her Anti-Hero colored pajamas with her left eye closed in a wink, sitting on a few suitcases, captioned "Kissin Paris Goodbye. *kissy face emoji*"
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Then, another post on the 4th itself is of a WMAG stylized photoshoot where Karlie is a cowboy, for the Wild West with Cowboy Karlie campaign. It's captioned "Going into the 4th like *cowboy emoji* @/wmag" EXCUSE ME. "You're a cowboy like me, perched in the dark, telling all the rich folks anything they wanna hear like it could be love I could be the way forward only if they pay for it"
The implications of a Cowboy Like Me reference and this photo's timing has on their engagement story has me dead. I'll do a whole lyrical analysis and tie in of it soon.
And then she posts this pic of her swimming in an unidentifiable body of water. Could it be Turks & Caicos? Maybe!
Joshlie announces their engagement on July 24, 2018 while the two are on a vacation in XYZ? People Magazine reports that the proposal "took place a few weeks ago during a romantic weekend together in upstate New York." So they got engaged sometime in the beginning of July, right?
On July 10th, she posts a video of herself voguing down the runway with "This Kiki is Marvelous" playing in the background during Paris Fashion Week in September 2013. Her performance was considered one of the highlights of Paris Fashion Week. She captioned the video: Mood. @/jpgaultierofficial.
Quick question for Karlie, why do you feel the same way you felt before you went on stage for a make or break performance out of your comfort zone? You performed incredibly but it could have easily turned out very differently. Why would you be feeling like that right around the time of your engagement to Josh Kushner?
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Karlie's instagram post on July 16, 2018 captioned "bestest of weekends with my bestest of friends" included group photos and a video of her & four girlfriends from her childhood.
So she got engaged and then spent a weekend with her friends, who then commented on instagram pictures from the weekend saying "remember, there's nothing better than old friends!" Why the heck are they talking about friends so much!? She literally just got engaged to Jo- ohhh.... Oh, right, he's gay, and she's gay. Old friends. Ahhhh.
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Taylor responds to the engagement news breaking by having special guest, Haley Kiyoko aka Lesbian Jesus, join her for the Rep show at Gillette Stadium on July 27, 2018. Taylor specifically requests to sing Curious with Haley, which is a song about a lesbian woman singing to her ex-lover who is now dating a man, asking her ex if she lets him touch her the way she used to. So gay, so timely, Taylor is a petty bitch & I love her.
Do the girls back home touch you like I do? Delicate (Reputation)
The Wedding, October 18, 2018
Karlie wears her custom Dior gown and very amicably marries Joshua in someone's backyard, it looks like. Things seem perfectly pleasant, almost like watching a wedding scene featuring two actors with no sexual chemistry whatsoever.
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2019 - Every Time I Don't, I Almost Do
Lover Promo is all very gay, very loud, very comingoutlor.
ME! out now! on Lesbian visibility day, April 26, 2019.
YNTCD music video out on June 16, 2019.
The Wedding, Part Two: Cowboy Karlie and Her Cowboy, Her Man
Karlie Kloss and Joshua Kushner celebrate their wedding again with a private group of friends from June 20-23rd, 2019 in Wyoming. It's cowboy themed, for whatever reason.
This wedding into a honeymoon in Africa would have been a wonderful strategy to keep the spotlight off of Karlie in Taylor Swift's immediately impending plan to come out on June 30th, 2019. Go read @sophietv's incredible post that details the failed coming out (fuck Scooter Braun).
<timeline jump>
2020: The Great War
January:
February: Karlie is in Paris, Taylor is advertising The Man MV (out February 27).
March: Quarantine begins March 16th & Taylor starts writing folklore almost immediately, which means that the events in folklore have already happened before COVID begins.
MORE ON THE WAY! I've got:
What happens when Karlie gets back to the US?
How does the Lover era go?
Lover social media & marketing presence
8.24.2019 - Blue
9.9.2019 - Lover in Paris performance
10.7.2019 - Sad Girl SNL
10.11.2019 - Sad Girl TinyDesk (& ring)
Continued sus social media from TSwift
Miss Americana
2020: The Great War (3.16.2020, Quarantine begins)
Lonely Millennial Woman Covered in Cat Hair
folklore
evermore
Karlie's Pregnancy
2022: Go Viral (Midnights, Red TV)
2023: Midnights, Eras, Speak Now TV, Broken Toe, 1989 TV, Kaylor Renaissance
My Predictions
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shibusawaz · 1 year
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AITA for forcing my best friend to inject himself and another man with poison in a convoluted prison escape game and making my coworker watch?
I (M26) have been friends with my best friend (M, age unknown but someone on Twitter said he's 39. He doesn't look 39 though) for several years, ever since he sat at a table in a dark room with me and said something really deep. We also work together for a terrorist organization, but he got arrested and sent to a high security prison. While our organization continued its quest to find a magical book and change reality. I realized that I was just a bird trapped in a cage, and set out to prove the free will of man by killing my best friend, setting myself free from my own heart. Unfortunately, my best friend is a mega genius who can see through my plots. So, I waited for my coworker (M3) to fall out of the sky and seeked out his help in finding my best friend's superpower in order to kill him. We broke into the prison using my overcoat (which is actually just a cape) and found him and his homosexual nemesis (M22). Because my best friend is super competitive and has to win and be the smartest at everything, I knew that the only way he'd take the poison is by offering his rival a lethal injection too. I told them I only had one antidote, and whoever escapes first gets it. I even let them both pick a tool, but my friend's rival picked my coworker who's been standing here like a big ol idiot this whole time because he's only three years old and doesn't understand fun. I left to let them complete the game, but I kind of feel bad now. Is this just my restrictive conscience that is tormenting me or am I really doing something wrong?
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oomisluvr · 1 year
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“We should get married.”
Japan is unusually hot this time of year, the humidity weighing heavy in your lungs. The cicadas sing their love for the warmer weather, celebrating a seemingly endless summer. 
You watch the busy intersection from Kiyoomi’s highrise balcony, idly watching the streetlights conduct the flow of traffic.
Green, green, yellow.
Yellow, green, red.
Red, red, red.
You snort, “What makes you say that?”
Kiyoomi takes a long drag from a cigarette, inhaling deeply then releasing the breath in a plume of smoke. It’s a nasty habit he picked up from watching his eldest brother, a habit he rarely lets himself indulge in due to his lifestyle.
He only does it when he’s anxious. Jittery. Nervous. He only does it when he absolutely needs to.
Lots of people think he’s a prude, a killjoy, robotic by nature. Twitter seems to consider him as barely human, but you’ve been around Kiyoomi to know his faults, his shortcomings. You’ve seen enough of him that he doesn’t have to pretend around you.
The first time he slid a cigarette between his lips, you could hardly believe it. 
Laid comfortably on expensive sheets, his hair wild from how you had been tugging on it earlier, swiping a lighter off his nightstand and pinching the cig between two fingers. You remember how he grinned at your disbelief, a handsome smile on his face at how he was able to catch you off guard, the smoke pooling above him in a wicked halo. 
It’s what people do after a good fuck, isn’t it? He had joked. Consider this a compliment.
You remember feeling special. You remember feeling exactly how you feel right now.
“You make me happy, and I think I make you happy, too.” You watch the smoke dissipate into nothing, remnants swept away by a warm summer breeze. The cicadas grow quiet, muffled by the sound of your heartbeat in your ears.
You shift your attention from the sky overhead to the spiker. You find he’s already looking at you.
“It just makes sense.” He says.
You falter, “We’re not even dating.”
“Does it matter?” His response comes quickly, “We love each other, don’t we?”
You avert your eyes from his, afraid to fall captive to his piercing stare. His hand finds yours, rubbing smooth circles against your knuckles with a calloused thumb. Kiyoomi brings your hand to his lips, laying a soft kiss to the skin there. You draw a shaky breath, inevitably melting into him when he pulls you into his side, pressing you into him completely.
You’re surrounded by his body heat, the spiker towering over you. You hate how soothing it is. You hate how well your body responds to him, your eyes snapping back to him in an instant. 
“I’ll take care of you,” His voice is hypnotic, equal parts captivating and petulant. You hate that you believe him, like always. “We’ll take care of each other. How does that sound?”
Your body betrays you. You feel yourself falling, the walls closing in until–
“Okay.”
Kiyoomi hums, taking another drag of his cigarette, and releasing the smoke into the night air. The carbon burns your eyes, and you cough at the second hand exposure. Kiyoomi’s grip on you tightens and the smoke curls around him, forming that same wicked halo floating against the edges of your memory.
You can hardly remember life before you met Kiyoomi, the memories as tangible as his cigarette smoke. Part of you thinks loving him was inevitable, inescapable. Truly, meant to be. 
You don’t care what the other part of you thinks. Or anyone else, for that matter.
You bring your eyes back to the city below you, watching the streetlights flash and flicker and change.
Green, yellow, yellow.
Yellow, red, red.
Red, red, red.
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hehehe i wanted to write something romantic but also left a sick feeling in your tummy. is it toxic obsession or is he just a freak in love? up 2 u baby its whatever you want it to be but lmk if this is too creepy!! so i can tag it as nfsw so it can go with my darker content!! ok bye love as always, niko ♡
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mysteria157 · 4 months
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Chapter Three
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Pairing: Black Fem!Reader x Hitman Toji Fushiguro
CW: Profanity, Slight Angst (mentions of death), Fluff, Comfort
Word Count: ~5k
Summary:
Suffering from haunting dreams and a raging cold, you find solce in Toji's challenging yet comforting presence.
Authors Notes: Hello! Thank you all for waiting so patiently! It took me weeks to finally get out of my perfectionist mindset and just...write so everything flows together. This chapter is shorter than my usual, but to me little moments help with character development. And this is going to be a very, very slow burn lol.
As always, reblogs, comments, and likes are always appreciated! Enjoy and thank you for your support!
Previous Chapter | Twitter | Ao3| Masterlist | Next Chapter
Dividers: @royallaesthetics @eloquentmoon | Header: created by myself (fanart from Pinterest)
©mysteria157, all rights reserved. DO NOT copy, plagiarize, reupload, modify, or translate (without permission) my work to other accounts and platforms.
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***You***
The cold air is deceptive; it nips at your skin, raising goosebumps despite the warm inviting appearance of your surroundings. Tall trees—oaks, hickories, and basswoods—clutter densely, forming a barrier that shields the land from the outside world and cages bittersweet memories of the past. You’ve followed your father through these woods before, navigating rocky hills and leaping over thick, ingrown branches to reach another unmarked spot for exploring.
Deep purple hues of the twilight sky cast elongated, eerie shadows over the forest, and they fold over the tall grass like dark, unnatural fingers. This definitely isn’t real. Everything around you right now brings painful memories—but they’re are not as sharp as what you feel in reality.
In reality, the ache is persistent, pulsing weakly in your veins, flaring up with every fleeting memory of your father—his infectious laugh, his hands putting you on his shoulders as you walked to football games, or the early mornings spent huddled together, his hand guiding your binoculars to focus on a bird in the distance.
This is definitely a dream.
You know it also from the feel of the grassy meadow beneath your toes, the blades soft and ticklish against your ankles, the usual worry of ticks far from your mind. Vivid wildflowers—yellows, pinks, and blues—sway in a nonexistent breeze. The dirt path that once led to your father’s house has vanished, taken over by the soil and grass, erasing years of footprints.
The house he dreamt of building, a two-story structure crafted by his own hands, now stands as nothing more than a decaying skeleton. There is no roof, only stretches of drywall reaching towards the twilight sky, as if trying to reach the heavens and falling short.
As you walk further across the foundation, the environment shifts around you, the air folding in on itself and twisting like the patterns in a kaleidoscope. Your fingers trail along the phantom walls that spring up, and your feet glide over the conjured glossy finish of hardwood floors. This empty space is a blueprint nestled deep in your memory: bedrooms that will give privacy, a living room that will host family gatherings, a fireplace that is now roaring in orange and yellows.
“There you are,” a familiar voice calls to you, sending a jolt through your heart that tightens your chest as if you’re about to cough. As you turn the corner, reality morphs once again, unfolding into a meticulously designed kitchen with forest green cabinets adorned with brass knobs, a deep porcelain sink and shiny stainless-steel appliances. The surreal surroundings are dizzying, blurring and swirling in your vision. But the figure you know—his broad back turned to you, shoulders stretching and pulling as he wipes something in front of him—that grounds you, preventing you from drifting away.
“It finally came in, take a look.”
He radiates an intense warmth as you stand beside him. Even with your arms barely touching, the heat feels suffocating, instantly causing you to break into a sweat. Just being next to him makes your throat constrict, choked and searing, it’s nearly impossible to speak. But with each stroke of his hand on the new granite counter top, sweeping a fiberglass cloth, his love and comfort are palpable in the stiffing heat, settling on your skin to relax you.
“Looks good huh?” He’s proud, and even though you don’t have the strength to look up at his face, you know he’s beaming. “Once it all comes together, it’s gonna look beautiful.”
His words stir a deep-seated guilt within you, so fierce it makes you want to scratch at your own skin, as if to physically scrape away the emotional turmoil the festers beneath the layer of your dermis. You press your toes into the hardwood, cross your arms and dig your fingernails into your arms. It’s hotter now—god you’re burning up. Your body prickles with beads of moisture as you watch him tirelessly wipe over an already clean surface.
It’s incessant, and with each swipe the guilt rises further, urging you to flee from a conversation that will never happen. You don’t really know about an afterlife but if there is one, does he know what happened? Is he rooted in the present, watching you occasionally to see what you’ve failed to do? Is he disappointed in you?
Maybe if you focus on his steady motions, close your eyes, and just breathe, you might find yourself back in your room when you open them again. After all, none of this is real—it will never be real. This kitchen, these rooms, the wooden floorboards, and the beautiful roaring fireplace. The remnants of all of this are written on a blueprint somewhere, collecting dust for the last two decades.
He calls out to you again, his voice oddly distant though he stands right beside you. He sounds weary, as if he’s struggling to breathe, and when you glance at his hand moving across the counter, it’s no longer vibrant and almond-brown but ashen, marked by blown-out veins. Lifting your eyes, you meet not the father you remember, but his final, frail image—his sunken skin, his life slipping away too soon, anchored to the world only by the fragile thread of a nasal cannula.
“You okay, honey?” he croaks, concern etched in every syllable.
You open your mouth to speak, but fear grips your entire being, squeezing you like you’re a piece of fruit to be juiced. The terror is paralyzing, and you find yourself unable to face him any longer without crumbling into tears. A deep, ragged breath cuts through the silence, rasping painfully in your throat as you stammer, “I’m sorry, I couldn’t—“
Your eyes snap open, sticky and heavy with exhaustion, wincing against the harsh glare of sunlight that peaks through your maroon curtains. The embers of your dream fade into nothingness and unforgiving reality slides into place with ease. The heat of the dream is replaced by a chilling dampness; the sheets cling to your sweaty skin, and the fiery soreness in your throat reminds you of your still raging cold. When you swallow, it feels like sandpaper across raw flesh.
It’s been almost a year since you’ve dreamt of your father. It’s not that you don’t like to dream about him; actually, you cherish every memory, even the painful ones. But dreaming of him in the house—his house that has remained untouched since his death—it consumes you with regret for the role you’ve been unable to fulfill. You don’t have the time. You don’t have the money. All things that are out of your control but still hold you by the throat.
It’s too much for your mother, and you don’t blame her. The love she has for your father never really left. It lingered in her second marriage and came back full force in her divorce. So she stays away from all things related to him when she can.
Your eyes wander to the corner of your office desk where the old property deed lies, rolled up and bound by a simple rubber band. The edges are brown and dusty, much like the blueprints in your dream.
Why do you even keep it there?
Maybe it’s a reminder of him, just something physical you can glance at every day even if it hurts. Maybe it’s there to spur you to make that thousandth trip to city hall—the one that always ends in tears. Maybe, with these next few days off, you can try again. You’ll be stronger this time, more aggressive with the bald-headed piece of shit that always gives you trouble.
Or maybe not.
The flare of your throat is harsh enough to push away any other thoughts. There’s a frustration that always comes with getting sick, it makes simple things extreme when there is no need for it. Your body is too hot and also too cold, your throat burns with every swallow no matter how many throat drops you take, your lungs spasm with the tiniest breath to cough, your nose is so congested that it makes you regret taking breathing for granted. It’s overstimulating as hell.
You wince against the harsh sun again, turning your head further into your pillow before your eyes fall on your nightstand. There’s a tall glass of water and two pills. You don’t remember setting them there, but you sit up to throw them back anyway and down the water quickly. The coolness soothes your throat and with each swallow, the haze of last night lifts.
You know Toji brought you home because your car is out of commission and he refused to let you take the bus. He helped you out last night—literally carrying you up to your apartment because you were so achy and exhausted you could hardly stand. You remember him leaning casually against the brick wall of your complex, that insufferably charming smirk playing on his lips as he watched you go through every stage of defiance for help.
“I’m not getting any younger, princess.”
That name. You hate that name.
It was a taunt that made you eventually give up, too damn tired to snap at him. You gave in to the warmth of strong muscles and the scent of detergent, cologne, and something that’s just Toji. You remember the lack of strain in his neck, the ease in which he breathed as he took step after step like you weighed nothing, and the analytical gaze of jade irises beaming in the night as he took in his surroundings. It almost felt like he was assessing the area, checking every corner when he hit another flight of steps to make sure no one was lurking nearby.
As you think back, your hands automatically press against your cheeks, warmed by the flush of memory as your blood pumps faster in your veins from the rising shock. Toji had drawn you an Epsom salt bath to soak your muscles, rolling his eyes as you feverishly barked at him for privacy to undress. That gruff attentiveness continued as he watched you like a hawk as you slurped down the bowl of canned soup he warmed, and then gently nudging you to bed with a press to the small of your back. Even his firm grip on your arm as he wielded a syringe of cough syrup—which you tried to refuse—is clear in your mind.
“You’re burning up, stop fucking fighting me! What kind of doctor won’t take medicine?”
“This doctor. I would rather lick the floor than taste cough syrup. It’s just a cold. Go away,” you remember protesting, delirious with a stubbornness that has only gotten worse with age.
He had pressed the tip of the syringe to the side of your mouth, eyes narrowed and annoyed. “Open your mouth and—OW, why are you biting people! Girl, what the hell?!”
“Fuck,” you groan now, your hands digging into your eye sockets as the memory plays like a broken record behind your eyelids. You bit him like a fucking maniac. Who does that?! You remember giving in because you felt bad but still…
As a kid, you were the same—so against the taste of medicine that your mother had to pin you down.
But now? At the ripe age of too damn grown? You’re mortified.
Your hands slide down your face as you sigh in the silence, which feels heavier than before. Did he leave last night? You can’t remember anything beyond smacking your lips to get rid of the cherry taste of cough medicine and rolling over to pass out.
Your body isn’t as achy as last night as you climb out of bed. You slip into dry clothes and throw off your bonnet, ruffling the curls loose before you snatch up your phone and leave the room in search of him. The air in your apartment, usually so familiar, now carries a subtle disturbance—a reminder of his increasing presence. Only the distant chirps of cardinals outside punctuate the silence. As you enter the living room, you notice Toji’s black jacket casually draped over a kitchen stool and his car keys abandoned on the counter.
Your fuzzy socks muffle your steps as you approach the counter, where a covered glass bowl sits alongside a small note. You hate the lurch of your heart skipping as you snatch it up, your movements fueled by a mix of dread and anticipation.
Make sure you eat it all.
You can practically hear his gruff voice through the words, rough and serious, a subtle layer of care that’s unique to him. The thought makes you snort softly, relief washing over you with the distant thought that…he didn’t leave. But that relief is a push and pull, it’s frustrating to you because you’re unsure of what you want, even though you want more and moreof it. More of him.
As you pop open the lid of the container, the steam hitting your nose, your phone rings, your eyes rolling on reflex as you look at the caller ID. It’s a work day for your cousin, you can tell by the sleek reading glasses she only wears to comb over legal documents. Her shiny kinky hair is pulled up into a neat bun with not a strand out of place, edges laid to perfection, dark lip liner with a clear gloss on full lips, and she looks professional and uniquely Rene. Dark brown eyes narrow at you, the corners pointed in a cat’s eye with fresh black eyeliner, her expression tightening. Your mind automatically conjures the phrase you know she’s about to say.
“What do I have to do—”
“—to make sure you’re not dead,” she finishes in real time, her voice a blend of concern and familiar exasperation. “I was texting you all night.”
This is a well-worn interaction between you both; you work for days on end and disappear from the world, Rene reels you back in with stern care that rivals your own mother.
Your fingernail idly traces Toji’s handwriting from his note. “It was a rough night. My car wouldn’t start, I had to catch the bus and it made me late, and then work was just a nightmare. I’m sick, everything hurts, and Toji had to pick me up—”
“Why don’t we back up a little bit,” she interjects, elegant eyebrows arching up in wicked surprise, your well-being entirely forgotten because your cousin is a nosy bitch. “Toji was there? Where is he?” You shoot her a glare, irritation flaring because you refuse to give in to her curiosity. She holds up her hands in defense, her full lips curving into a smile. “Damn, a bestie can’t ask a question these days? That’s tough.”
Your gaze holds firm, challenging her. She meets it in a well-known game you both play, her eyes widening comically and it’s enough to break you both, laughter filling the kitchen.
“This is why I don’t tell you things,” you lie, coughing into your elbow. “We are just taking it slow. Nothing crazy. I didn’t need his help anyway. I could have taken the bus and taken care of myself. It’s just a cold.”
She laughs again at your bullshit and you sigh in defeat. There’s no point in trying to sugarcoat things with her. Nothing crazy, you say even though can’t even get your thoughts together when it comes to him. You could easily hang up the phone, but annoying or not, you haven’t talked to Rene in days. It’s nice to hear her voice again. Your mother is overseas often for work so calls aren’t as frequent. As for the rest of your family? You’re just…not as close to them.
Rene’s still running cackling keeps your mind from wandering again.
“Alright, it’s not funny anymore,” you snap as you grab a spoon from a kitchen drawer, turning back to Toji’s leftover food with a frown.
“I’m sorry! Really! But come on, it’s just classic you—the baddest bitch I know, but here you are, refusing any chance of help even though you want it so bad. Hard-headed as hell,” she chuckles, her voice warming with the years of friendship between you.
You pause, spoon in hand over the steaming bowl of soup, struck by the truth in her words. Stubbornness is your armor and you rarely let it slip, only few know what’s behind it. Even though she teases, it hurts. It hurts because it carries history—reminders of every instance you’ve pushed help away. It wraps around those jabs from your family, from the men you’ve been with.
Mean because you demand respect so you can weed out those who aren’t worth your time.
Defensive because you’ve been hurt too often.
Uncompromising and fierce, and that’s anyone who tries to get too close—never stays.
You clench your teeth together. “Rene, I’m not—” you start to protest, but the latch of the front door opening makes you raise the spoon in alarm.
It's Toji.
He walks into your home as if he owns the place, his presence so commanding it seems to fill every corner, snuffing the lights and sucking the air from the room. His gaze sweeps through the space, and when his emerald eyes finally settle on you, you feel the weight of his attention.
His shirt is stained with grease, and raven locks, messy from the July humidity, sticks to his forehead and sides of his neck.
“You won’t get far if you’re trying to stab me with that,” he teases, nodding towards the spoon in your hand. Though his tone is light, the underlying seriousness suggests he’s not entirely joking. He’s strong enough to disarm you and you wouldn’t mind a big man like him trying to—
The spoon clatters against the granite counter top as you slap it down and force your mind to shut the hell up.
He takes only two steps before he’s standing in front of you, analytical eyes scanning you in seconds—a look so intense that it feels like he’s trying to memorize you and understand hidden layers you’d rather keep concealed. Alarmingly thorough and you’re still trying to process him being this close, his proximity bringing an electricity you feel even before his lips press a soft, almost possessive kiss on your cheek, like he’s been waiting—itching for contact.
Rene’s startled cough cracks through the phone, mirroring your own internal shock. Toji is making your fever worse because it’s hot as hell now, the hairs rising on your neck as you gape like a fish.
“W-what are you doing…” you begin to ask, but the words die in your dry mouth when he pulls back. His eyes linger close to yours—too close and sliding across your nose, your cheeks, your lips. He still smells like cologne, but now there’s sweat and a muskiness of exertion and outdoors that makes your head swim with dread and desire.
“Where’s your toolbox?” he asks, putting a leash on your thoughts before they run away from you.
You clear your throat and step back, trying to reclaim your space, to fortify your defenses, do anything so you don’t fall apart. “Um, coat closet down the hall. Top shelf.” Your tone is steadier than you feel, pointing mechanically to your hallway.
You look down at your phone when he walks away, exhaling a breath you don’t realize you’re holding. Rene’s watching you with an amused, knowing look, eyebrows rising and falling suggestively. You can’t stand her because you want to laugh and groan at the same time.
“Girl,” Rene chimes, voice dripping with insinuation and not low enough because she doesn’t care who hears her. “I’m sure if you take him for a ride again, you’ll feel a little better.”
“When she’s not sick,” Toji calls from the hallway, your eyes widening at the implication of him listening in. “That kind of ride takes a little work.”
You gawk at the empty space of your hallway. Rene hollers and you hope to god she gets written up for being too loud.
“I know that’s right, Toj—”
You hang up and slam the phone down with more force than necessary.
Toji returns with the toolbox, smirking and completely unphased by his remark and just how unsettled you look by it. He motions with his head to the bowl of soup in front of you.
“Eat.”
It’s a command, gentle but firm, and you bristle not just at the directive, but at your own conflicting impulses—to bare your teeth and snap at his attempt of care or to melt under his attention.
Toji doesn’t wait for an answer, just studies you a moment longer, seemingly satisfied with what he sees, and disappears out the front door. The quiet buzz of the cardinals outside fills the silence he leaves behind.
You’re left standing there, a hand squeezing your phone on the counter like a vice, your mind struggling to remain upright in a storm of emotions that he stirs up within you. Unsettling and soothing, your chest fluttering like butterflies wings against your rib cage. Maybe it’s just a heart palpitation, this intensity—this feeling. Nanami can do an EKG when you return to work in a few days. And he better be there, because he’s the very reason why you had to pick up so many shifts in the first place.
Rene’s giggles still echo in your ears as you exhale a shaky breath and grip the metal spoon in your hand again.
***
“What are you doing?”
Your question cuts through the ambient city hum and the rustle of trees surrounding the parking lot of your complex. Toji is hunched over the hood of your car, hands deep in it’s guts, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration.
The summer sun beats down on you both, yet you’re wrapped in Toji’s jacket to cover your exposed legs. It was the first thing you grabbed when you rushed out of the apartment but it’s too big, the hem brushes against your knees, the sleeves dangling past your hands. You push them up again, feeling simultaneously protected and vulnerable under his gaze as he turns to face you. The jacket feels like a shield, but also a reminder of how much space he’s beginning to occupy in your life.
“Your starter is bad,” he grunts, showing you a car part smeared with oil. It looks expensive, way more than an oil change, and panic flares in your belly briefly as the numbers fluctuate in your mind. If it’s too much, it’ll probably be weeks before you can take your car to the shop.
You’re a doctor, but doctors don’t start making good money for…awhile.
“How much do you think it will be for a new one?” You sigh, mentally calculating the number of zeros the mechanic is going to throw at you. At least Toji saved you some money for a diagnostics test.
“I already ordered the part.”
The admission hits you like a truck.
You gape at him, fumbling and overwhelmed. “You didn’t—I could have done all of this myself. I don’t need your help, Toji.”
The words taste bitter as they drip from your tongue, a defensive reflex from years of self-reliance. Of course you’re grateful, but the frustration that he’s seen a need you hadn’t voiced, that he’s filled it without asking, that’s what stirs the deep discomfort. It’s not just the help—it’s the intimacy of it, the presumption that he can anticipate your needs.
The weight of his jacket on your shoulders no longer feels comforting.
His reaction is immediate, a flash of annoyance flickering over his features, the scar on the side of his lips twisting as he frowns and snatches a rag from the hood of the car.
“So, what, you were going to trust some corner-shop mechanic to rip you off?”
His accusation is justified, and almost instantly, that phrase parrots in your mind.
Let me be nice to you. Let me be nice to you.
“Yep, that was the plan,” you retort, your voice lacks conviction, weak and drowned out by the steady thump of your own heart as he walks closer. He drags the rag between his knuckles, collecting the dirt in the seams.
“You want me to let some old fuck tear your shit up? Even though I know what I’m doing? Not happening.”
His assurance should be overwhelming, but you find yourself irresistibly drawn to it. He moves closer, and instinctively, your muscles tense, your toes curling inside your fuzzy socks and blue Crocs. With every inch that disappears between you both, your mind fires with mixed signals: go back to the safety of your apartment or surrender to the magnetic pull of him. God, you’ve only been awake for two hours, but the emotional whiplash just might knock you back out.
“You told me to earn you, so I am. You need to let me.”
His directness, unyielding and raw, hits you harder than you expect. It’s not just his physical presence that’s imposing—it’s the sheer force of his will, loud and insisting that you realize he’s not leaving anytime soon.
Your reactions and reflexes are not completely intentional, but it isn’t easy to just change who you are. The defenses around you are lined with hard-learned lessons. Your armor and shields to keep yourself safe are all you know. Letting go is like disarming a trap designed to protect you—it requires careful, gentle hands. And you’re terrified that Toji’s large, scarred hands will be too rough.
But you recognize that you can’t tell him to try, and you not do the same. That’s not fair to him, or to whatever this dance is that you are both trying to learn the steps to.
As Toji wipes the sweat from his brow, he unwittingly smears a streak of grease across his forehead, drawing your attention. “If you really feel like you need to repay me, then I don’t know—spend a day with me.”
You lift an eyebrow, surprised at his suggestion. “A whole day?”
Toji nods. “When the part comes in and you’re feeling better. No long ass shifts. No PI cases. Just you and me.” He offers a half-smile, white teeth glimmering in the sun and the look is as disarming as it is dangerous.
Your interactions with Toji, even limited, have always been charged with an intensity you’ve avoided and craved. The meaning behind the car repairs and taking care of you, it’s not just surface level. There’s more to it…he’s trying. So now it’s your turn.
You sniff through a congested nose and clear your rough throat, grabbing the rag from his hands and standing on your toes to reach his forehead. You don’t get very far, but Toji leans down so his forehead is closer to you, holding back a snicker at the height difference. You wipe the grease away, locked on the task because you can feel his stare.
“An entire day with you sounds…ominous.”
“I’ll make sure to feed you,” Toji responds, a comforting rumble that unexpectedly makes you laugh. A small smile blooms across your face and the tension in your stomach eases. You feel a little better, still on a tightrope but you can see the other side. With the grease now gone, you sink back to your slightly achy heels, unable to look away now that you’re both eye-level. “I’ll throw in a thirty-minute lunch break.”
“Make it an hour. Don’t try to short change me,” you challenge, playfully. His eyes, emerald and sharp, scan your face with open curiosity, and you wonder if you’ll ever get used to his intense focus. You press the rag into his white shirt, deliberately looking to the dirt on the fabric to ground your thoughts. “How’s your finger?”
His laughter vibrates through him, a melodic bark that makes you bite the inside of your cheek, and you watch his abdomen tighten under his shirt from the motion. Toji’s fingers brush against yours as he takes the rag from your hand, his touch making your heart jump. The scars on his knuckles catch the sunlight, and you’re struck again with the curiosity of how they got there.
“I’ve had worse.”
You can’t tell if that’s a joke…or if he’s serious, but you don’t have time to ask because his lips press against your cheek, stealing another unasked kiss that leaves you momentarily off-balance. You swat at him in reflex as if he’s a fly in your ears, swallowing a stuttering response that you’re glad doesn’t filter into the air.
“You’re burning up. Go lay down,” he murmurs, almost gentle now. “I’ll finish up here and head out.”
You can stay.
It’s what you want to say. The words are on the tip of your tongue, pressing against the back of your teeth, but you curl the muscle back and purse your lips, offering a tight nod before you turn and walk away.
Your Crocs squeak against the concrete, your pace quickening because you can feel Toji’s eyes on your back, watching you. You’re burning up from the summer air and the jacket that’s around you. But there’s an underlying, electrifying warmth that pulls a small smile on your face, your hands rising to your cheeks to quell the heat flush that you know is not from your fever.
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akystaracer22 · 7 months
Text
Distrust Fall:
A leap of faith gone wrong, an eternal promise kept eternally. No matter how long it has been some things never truly change.
Notes
How to fail a trust fall: Step one
Vaggie's relationship with Adam is very complicated, but at the moment there is a lot of animosity and it shows.
Adam is of the opinion that Sorry doesn’t mean jack shit if you make the mistake again, so he just doesn’t apologise because he thinks he’ll just fuck up again so there’s no point.
The hotel needs a licensed therapist at this point dear lord.
Alastor still isn’t over the whole “Radio is fucking dead” thing.
If there is one thing that Adam knows off by heart, it’s the names of animals scientific or otherwise. That was the guys job once upon a time and assuming he doesn’t know that stuff is the true quickest way to piss him off. He’s also really good with animals which pisses off Anthony because Fat Nuggets *likes* Adam and it drives the sinner up a wall.
Alastor and Lucifer are on the ground. Angel, Husk, Charlie, Vaggie, and Adam are on the roof.
Alastor was going to let him get a cm from the ground before catching him dw.
Lucifer used to be friends with Adam in the garden because I live for that sweet sweet friends to enemies tragedy.
Adam really does not like people staring at his face, it’s a mild form of scopophobia caused by his time in heaven with people always giving him shit for how he looked, particularly his facial features (Yes I drew on everyone calling him ugly and average on twitter and shit). He used the mask to get around it, that way people couldn’t actually see what he looked like.
This was originally 1260 but then I got an idea that blew this out by 500 words lol.
The graveyard with be elaborated on in a future connected one shot.
This is officially a fully fledged AU
Regarding Adam's claws, they're gold to combat the greyness of his palette, but also as a nod to Midas, the arrogant king who's touched turned everything to gold. Angelic blood is also gold so if you want you can interpret it as having blood on his hands.
Fingerless gloves because I thing they're neat.
I based Lucifer's wings off of duck wings!
Also Lucifer's angelic appearance was based on space. I heard Sera call Charlie "Daughter of the Morning Star" and I went feral.
He has a full shifting night sky in his wings, clothes, and hat.
Angels have white pupils now I don't make the rules.
References saved my life.
Word count: 1725
(Comic and fic under the cut! Click for better quality)
@irregular-child
Adam leaned away from the edge as the wind drifted through his wings, keenly aware of the fact that his wings wouldn’t break his fall and he did not in fact trust jack shit in hell to break it except the ground.
“Are we sure this is a good idea?”
“I’m with princess perfect this is a fucking death sentence,” Adam agreed, a little reluctantly because it was still the princess of hell, “You’re trying to fucking kill me.”
Vaggie smirked, because of course she did because she was trying to kill him, he wasn’t that dense, and just shrugged, “I mean, worked for me didn’t it?”
“That wasn’t even a fucking trust fall that was to get you to fucking fly and you know it! Fucking bitch,” The first man scowled and tried to step away from the edge, the crack whore of an arachnid immediately shoving him back up, “Would you fuck off?!”
“Would you stop being a dick?”
“Would you stop sucking them?”
The white jumping spider stared at him for a long moment and Vaggie stepped away from him for once, great! Cool! One person was leaving him alone and soon a second one will!
Great! About fucking time they got the message-
-------]
Lucifer paced nervously around Dazzle’s statue; this was a terrible idea. Having Adam go through a trust fall this early was going to end in disaster one way or another.
The main issue being nobody liked Adam and wouldn’t care if he fell. Hell, Charlies girlfriend has already tried to kill Adam off for good multiple times since he got here!
This was going to be a mess; Alastor was supposed to be catching Adam but he was just standing there looking completely unprepared and-
“Are you going to get ready or not.” Lucifer snapped at the radio demon, wings flicking out behind him in agitation.
“Oh, I have no intention of catching him.”
Lucifer froze, his tail stilling before lashing behind him as he turned on the deer-eared sinner, “What.”
“You heard me.”
“Oh, I heard you alright, and I think you should try that again.”
“And why are you getting so worked up, hm?” The sinner hummed, sneering down at the king, “Last I checked, the first man was your enemy after he tried to kill your own daughter.”
“I-” Lucifer paused, then scowled because Alastor was right. Why was he getting so worked up over this. This was Adam they were talking about. Adam who was crass and rude and cold to everyone. Adam, who would rather sit in his room all day than even look at any of them. Adam who was…
“…Luci, do they all hate me?”
“I can see why they left me for you.”
“It is good to see you again my friend! Come, much has changed since your last visit!”
… Adam who was so much more than who he was now. Who was probably the only person left in hell that remembered Eden.
Damnit.
“That’s none of your business you son of a bitch,” The fallen angel snapped at the cannibal, eliciting nothing more than a growing grin from the bastard.
Not a day went by in hell where Lucifer wished that this wasn’t his circus and that the sinners weren’t his monkeys.
Someone screamed above him.
The seraphim whipped his head up, eyes widening as he registered Adam twisting the air as he was shoved off the roof by Angel Dust.
Fear struck his heart like an exorcists blade when the first man tried to use his wings to glide, only for a single wing beat to send him into a spiral hurtling towards the ground.
He caught Adams eye for a single moment before it was obscured by his good wing, the man was terrified. He didn’t know sinners reformed after death and despite it all. Lucifer would never wish someone to experience falling from their death after quite literally falling from heaven.
Not even on Adam.
Something in his heart spurred the king into action, kicking off the ground as his wings snapped open to catch the air. A single beat of his wings and he was already well off the ground.
Lucifer reached a hand up for Adam as the fallen angel reached out to him in kind, panic written across both their faces at the idea of a horrible accident.
Lucifer’s wings moved the air one more time and-
“And… you will catch me?”
Lucifer laughed softly, a gentle chiming sound from where he stood behind Gods first man. He was trying to show him a game Lucifer and his kin would play from time to time amongst the spires of heaven.
The game was simple, one angel was to stand up high with their wings folded and fall. Then the other angel was to catch them. It was supposed to build trust, not to mention it was a delight in and of itself.
Standing amongst the grasses of Eden, Lucifer saw no reason not to share this game with Adam. He’s already grown fond of the way that Gods creation would go out of his way to show the angel what he’d been up to since his last visit.
“Be not afraid my friend!” Lucifer’s wings spread quietly to punctuate his point, divine magic threading his words, The Voice ensuring that the first man would hear and believe him.
“No matter how far you fall, I shall always be there to catch you.”
Lucifer wrapped his arms securely around the fallen angel as his wings curled around wing and man alike, bracing himself as the added weight as they both fell together.
It’s funny, it reminded him of when Adam first fell, a fiery ball that could have almost been mistaken as a shooting star had Lucifer not known better.
They hid the ground with a slam and the fallen seraphim had to bite back a shriek as his wings took the brunt of the force. They’d be left aching for a while.
Lucifer grunted as he pushed Adam off of him, sitting up and folding his wings in, allowing them to slip out of existence while they healed, he definitely didn’t want to do that again.
He slowly got to his feet while the first man got his bearings, dusting himself off and rubbing his shoulders to try and alleviate the pain.
“Why the fuck did you save me?”
Lucifer jerked and looked down at Adam from where he was glaring up at him, a note of confusion held carefully in his gaze before it dropped.
“I-”
“Well, isn’t this quite a surprise!”
Lucifer’s expression shot into a scowl as he rounded on the radio demon very blatantly interrupting the moment. The bastard just grinned and stared down at the both of them.
From the corner of his eyes Lucifer noted Adam’s good wing hitching up instinctively to cover his face from the demons gaze before dropping.
Lucifer turned his attention back to the radio demon with a glare that could melt steel, “You were going to let him fall,”
“I was going to do no such thing,”
“You just said-!”
“I said nothing you just assumed I was going to do nothing at all!”
“Listen here you!” Lucifer was just off again by the main doors opening and the other’s all barrelling out at the commotion.
Lost in the sudden onslaught of attention and having to field Alastor’s snarky comments, Anthony’s suggestive remarks, and Charlie’s concern, he didn’t see Adam flee the scene.
It wasn’t until much later that he was able to recognize the first man’s absence, searching the hotel to see if Adam was okay.
He found him at the graveyard, sitting among the many tombstones for the exorcists slain in the battle that caused Adam to fall.
Lucifer paused at the entrance to the burial ground, watching Adam sit there facing away from him for what felt like an eternity.
Despite the dead being gone, the king of hell still felt like the exorcists weapons were pointed at him, a warning that if he made one wrong move they would rise from their graves to protect their leader, to avenge him, to strike Lucifer down in an instant.
The once-angel of the morning star carefully stepped away from the cemetery, making sure he didn’t break the silence. Even if Adam wanted to be disturbed, he wasn’t the right person to do it, not in this place.
Besides, he still had his own thoughts to sort through, like why in the name of the divine he saved Adam when he would have survived regardless. He would have been fine even if he did hit the ground unimpeded so why-
Lucifer grimaced as the answer stuck to him like a parasite, he knew damn well why he saved him. It was the same stupid reason he preened Adams wings for him, the same reason he treats the first man’s wing rot and the exact same reason he made that deal with Adam after he fell.
He was attached.
Stupids horribly foolishly, Lucifer still cared for Adam even after everything.
By the stars he beat Adam within an inch of his life! Adam tried to kill his daughter!
But emotions were hardly logical. They weren’t logical when he fell for Lilith in the garden and taught her and Adam both The Voice, they weren’t logical when he freed Eve, and they weren’t logical now.
Lucifer cared for Adam, even if by all logic he should hate the man.
“Dad?”
Lucifer looked up to meet his daughters eyes, a small smile letting her know he was okay, “Hey there Duckie.”
Charlie’s expression softened at the nickname even if he still looked concerned, “Dad… are you sure you’re okay?”
“If I’m not now, I will be, so stop worrying about little old me Char-char,” Lucifer chuckled, “However… Adams in the graveyard if you want to talk to him, he seems like he needs some company right now.”
He made his exit quickly after that, he knew what Charlie would do, it was in her nature to help people, it was what made her so special.
But Lucifer, he helped people once, and now… he had a new person he could help again.
And he might just know where to start.
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