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sirsapling · 5 years ago

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Catching Up on Tagged Posts

I’ve been tagged in quite a few things recently, and if I don’t do them now I’ll forget about them forever, so I’m gonna put them all here and under the cut because my friends, this is gonna be a long fuckin’ post.

I also won't be following any tagging rules... cause i’d end up running out of people to tag. If you want to do any or all of these, consider me your tagger.

QUARANTINE GAME

Tagged by the dearest brilliant @bardingbeedle

Answer the following questions!

1. How has your day been?

It’s been okay, a lot of my days have been focused on drawing little things and focusing on my diet. I might be getting a buzz cut this evening, that's a thing. (Edit from later in the evening when I came back to finish this: I got a buzz cut)

2. What is the last thing that made you smile?

This question made me realise I hadn't smiled today. That was pretty depressing, but I reconnected with a dear friend yesterday and that was pretty swell.

3. What’s keeping you entertained these days?

Since entering lock down, and briefly getting sick (not with covid as far as we can tell) it sort of forced me to separate myself from my student life and work life, and consider, well, me for a while. I’ve had more creative drive in the past week than I’ve had in months, and I’ve made more even with school. I’ll be staggering uploads, but i’ve made a surprising amount. Lock down may have made me lonely as hell, with a heck of a need to talk to people a lot (I finally got over my hesitation about joining the MCU 18+ server, and they have had to deal with me hovering constantly to join conversations) but it’s been nice to work again.

4. if you are in some kind of quarantine/self isolation: is there anything you’d like to achieve in this time?

I just hit about 17 days inside, and my ideal for a time where, for now, I seem to be a lot more focused, would be to finish my long overdue commissions. The people who bought them have waited way too long, and as much as I’d like to pay them back I certainly can't afford that, so I’m gonna work my ass off at art and apologies.

5. Post a selfie! (If you’re comfortable with that!)

Ask the like 5 people who have seen my real face, they’ll confirm the likeness

Tagged by @thirstinart

rules: tag 20 people you’d like to know better and wrangle them into answering the questions below.

Nicknames: Sapling, Sap, SirSap, Plant Dad, Captain Dadsap and the Ultimates book club recently decided Daddy Sap was appropriate and I’m gauging how to feel about that

Gender: Male

Height: 5’ 7

Star sign: Aries

Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw

Favorite animal: Sharks ‘n’ Bears

Number of blankets: I love the feel and the weight of blankets but in practice I get too hot.

Where I’m from: From a town in England too small to sensibly name, but I now live in London

When I started this account: It was technically made in 2014, but I didn't begin posting till 2017

Why I started this account: I originally made it to follow a lot of my friends from DeviantArt when tumblr was in that prime. But when I started using it for real it was to post art for Hellogarbagetime and sabrecmc after they egged me into making some during the AA streams at the start of that year.

MUSIC MEME

Tagged by @ayapandagirl (Tumblr won't let me tag you for some reason??)

Rules: you can usually tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to! put your music on shuffle and list the first ten songs, then tag ten people. no skipping!

Shakes - Emeli Sandé

Don’t Lose My Number (cover) - Ninja Sex Party

In for the Kill - La Roux

Killer Queen - Queen

Swim - Fickle Friends

Underdog - Imagine Dragons

Independant Together - The Steven Universe the Movie soundtrack

River Lea - Adele

11:11 - Andrew Applepie

Reaper - Sia

A lot of this stuff is stuff I still listen to thankfully, that cover of Don’t loose My Number is one of my FAVOURITE songs

Trope game!

Tagged by @capnstars

1. Slowburn or Love at First Sight

2. Fake Dating or Secretly Dating

This isn't a formatting error I just really fuckin’ love secret dating.

3. Enemies to Lovers or Best Friends to Lovers

4. “Oh no, there’s Only One Bed,” or Long Distance Correspondence

5. Hurt/Comfort or Amnesia

6. Fantasy AU or Modern AU

7. Mutual Pining or Domestic Bliss

8. Smut or Fluff

9. Canon-Compliant/Missing Scenes or Fix-It

10. Alternate Universe or Future Fic

11. One Shot or Multi-chapter

12. Kid Fic or Road trip Fic

13. Reincarnation or Character Death

14. Arranged Marriage or Accidental Marriage

15. High School Romance or Middle-Aged Romance

16. Time Travel or Isolated Together

17. Neighbours or Roommates

18. Sci Fi AU or Magic AU

19. Body swap or Genderbend

20. Angst or Crack

21. Apocalyptic or Mundane

Last Sentence Meme

I was tagged in this meme by @blossomsinthemist @firelightmystic and I swear @ashes0909 tagged me in one of these like a decade ago and I didn't ever do it

Rules: Post the last line you wrote and tag the same number of people as the word count of your last line.

Since I got tagged 3 times, have one of my long gangly sentences that I haven’t been forced to cut down (cough, Ferret, cough) to a reasonable and sensible size yet.

Last line I wrote:

“Tony’s is ready to protest this, blood rapidly rushing between his head and other areas, but then Steve wraps a warm, heavy arm around his shoulders to lead him back inside, and Tony forgets it in order to loop his arm round Steve’s waist and walk with him, rubbing little arcs into Steve’s hip.”

Word count: 54

#wow long post #SERIOUSLY LONG FUCKIN POST #text post #tagged in #tag memes #misc #about me

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ao3feed-carryon · 4 years ago

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by confusedbutintrigued

(title named after "Sun King" by The Beatles) (Royalty AU) Prince Simon Snow must marry before he turns 18 in a few months and he's never hated anything more. Not because he doesn't know who to court- he knows by now that his destiny is to wed Agatha Wellbelove and make her Queen of Watford- but because she is much more infatuated with Baz, whose only ever tried to fight Simon in any way he can. Simon's sure he's in love with Agatha (she's really pretty and nice to talk to), even though he's not quite sure what love looks like. He thinks Baz is in love with her, too, and that hurts like hell.

Baz just wishes he could magically bring his mother back from the grave. And that Simon wasn't so infuriatingly heterosexual.

Words: 2358, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Simon Snow, Dev (Simon Snow), Niall (Simon Snow), The Mage (Simon Snow), Penelope Bunce, Malcolm Grimm

Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Penelope Bunce & Simon Snow, Simon Snow/Agatha Wellbelove, Simon Snow & Agatha Wellbelove, Dev & Niall & Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch

Additional Tags: Feelings, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Royalty, Prince Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Is Gay for Simon Snow, Simon Snow is Gay for Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, agatha wants to leave, no magic, sorry - Freeform, i just would probably suck ass at writing that, maybe another time, Penelope Bunce is a Good Friend, Penelope Bunce & Simon Snow Friendship, aggressive baz, Enemies to Lovers, Sad Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Arranged Marriage, Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, ahaHahah, poor agatha, Pining Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, simon just wants love, i was THIS close to making this a The Smiths songfic, ThiS CloSE, but the beatles are aight, i listened to the cmbyn soundtrack while writing this, cue sufjan stevens in the background, we're all depressed, but in a good way, k i should stop with these tags now they're unneccessary, i think i spelled that wrong, oh well, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, it's 3 am and i have no dignity, oh wait i forgot, implied sex, because i cant write smut it makes me feel uncomfortable, sue me, Angst, Minimal Research, historically innaccurate, British Slang, But Not Very Good, Let's be honest, I wish I'd immigrated to the UK instead of the US, sigh, I could've had an accent, What a shame, i like saying arse way more than ass :/, some of the things they say don't make sense with the whole medieval time line thing, but it's too poetic to pass up, also i cuss a lot, i cant stop its in my nature, i looked up alternates for fuck off and i got "kiss my shiny metal ass", i didnt use it but i thought i should mention that, there's not enough synonyms for "say angrily", i hate english, me gustaria escribir un fanfiction en espanol pero no tengo la energia

#IFTTT #ao3feed #carry on

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glitterdustcyclops · 6 years ago

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Steven Universe is the Best Show, Fite Me

In honor of the finale yesterday and because I’m still emotionally compromised and need space to process my deep, unending well of FEEEELINGS, here, have an essay I blurted out late at night a few months ago about how much Steven Universe means to me, now cleaned up with proper grammar & capitalization and shit.

Basically, to summarize: Steven Universe is a thesis statement on my entire philosophy; unironically, unequivocally one of the most important pieces of media that I've ever consumed in my entire twenty five years on this earth. This show speaks to the depths of my soul. I love it endlessly. It’s so quietly revolutionary, kind and positive and gentle and queer, a show all about how people can be redeemed by empathy. Maybe not always, but at least sometimes, and that it’s so important to try. And on top of all that, it’s just so dang pretty to look at, every background and scene a lovingly rendered pastel dreamscape, full of glitter and wonder and joy.

Ever since I watched that first leaked pilot, I was in. I knew right from that moment, that this thing was going to be my thing, that whatever happened next I was so completely along for the ride. And of course the show has evolved so much since those very early days, but I’m glad to know that I haven’t been proven wrong yet. Sometimes it feels like this show is tailor-made just for me, and I’m completely amazed that it exists at all.

There’s this interview with Rebecca back in the early days, talking about her goals with Steven Universe and what she wanted the show to be. If I remember correctly, she basically said that she wanted watching it to feel like getting to spend time with people you love. The emotional core of this show is the relationship between an older sister and her younger brother (and like, I still can’t get over the fact that Steven is based on Rebecca’s younger brother Steven, and he works on the show with her that is just so cute!!!!), and you can really feel that kind of connection when you watch it. It’s just baked into the bones of the show.

Steven Universe has also been there for me through some majorly hard times in my life, and it feels like a welcoming, safe space where I can relax and breathe and just...be. Beach City is a place where you can have fun adventures and save the world and still laugh. Where even though sometimes things get scary and hard, or you’re unsure of yourself and whether what you’re doing is the right thing, where even when you make mistakes and hurt people that you love, that and at the end of the day, you will always have support, that you can do better and be better, and that there is always hope and joy in the world.

There’s just so much I wanna talk about when it comes to Steven Universe; how important it is for queer representation (that incredibly beautiful gay wedding for example); how amazingly feminist it is, featuring a boy hero who learns from and is surrounded by and idolizes the women in his life and how his powers come from his kindness, his empathy, his love; how “Here Comes a Thought” has legitimately soothed me through more panic attacks than I can count; the incredibly creative character designs and the amazing diversity of body types on display; the amazing soundtrack; the Cool Kids and just how fucking nice they are to Steven and how incredibly revolutionary it is seeing older teenagers written that way on a show aimed at young kids; how it makes me feel almost hopeful about the future to think about the generation that’s being raised on this show and how every aspect of it just means such a deeply absurd amount to me.

The world is often scary and dark and hard, especially now, especially for we folks on the margins, the degenerates and outcasts and other misfits. I don’t think it can be overstated how deeply emotionally vital it is that something like Steven Universe exists in such a world. Every time I watch it I feel validated in this bone-deep way I never knew I craved, in a way that basically everything I watched and read as a kid never quite could. How sad is that? That I had to go two whole decades before I found a piece of media that made me feel okay about being who I was? I can’t go back in time and fix things for that younger version of me, who felt so out of place, but it’s almost enough that I have this now, for adult me, who still deeply needs it: a place where I feel seen and loved and safe.

So yeah, when it comes to Steven Universe, I can’t pretend to be objective or rational. I won’t ever be, and I don’t care. This show, it is the best show, I will hear no other arguments. And I am just so amazed and grateful that I got to exist in the same universe (no I’m not apologizing for that) that Steven did, even just for a time. Steven Universe is my whole heart in cartoon form and if “Change Your Mind” is indeed the finale, then I’m so grateful to see it come to such a satisfying conclusion. Thank you, Rebecca Sugar, and thank you Crewniverse, for all the amazing work you’ve done for almost six years now. I’m glad I got to know Beach City and the people who live there, and I know I’ll be coming back for a long time.

#steven universe #chocolate has emotions #this show makes my heart feel like its full of glitter #y'all #YALLL #i don't think i'll ever be over it tbh

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corkcrab7-blog · 6 years ago

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A Beginners’ Guide to Cult Psych Icons the Legendary Pink Dots

Photo by Alberto Garcia

Venture over to the Legendary Pink Dots’ Bandcamp page and you might feel a bit overwhelmed. Over three and a half decades in, the Anglo-Dutch band have amassed an overflowing cache of full-length albums, archival releases, and holiday-themed one-offs. And that’s without factoring in the respectively ample solo discographies of founding members Edward Ka-Spel and The Silverman (Phil Knight); or their side project, The Tear Garden.

Founded in 1980, The Legendary Pink Dots have been pushing psychedelic music through the late 20th century and well into the 21st. They draw from the influence of ’70s German rock outfits like Can and Neu!, but their sound is never a flashback. Instead, they emerged from the electronic music underground of the early 1980s with a distinct sound that makes them difficult to pigeonhole to this day. The Legendary Pink Dots’ wheelhouse proves equally welcoming to fans of post-punk and minimal synth, industrial and darkwave—and yet, the band themselves aren’t quite any of those things. They’ve spent decades evolving, hitting multiple peaks throughout their career as the line-up expanded and contracted. Their oeuvre reflects that winding journey, from the dark, orchestral heaviness of the ’80s, to the psych-pop haze of the early ’90s, to the sci-fi electronics of the aughts.

The Legendary Pink Dots have remained a cult band amongst cult bands. They haven’t become post-punk memes like Joy Division or Bauhaus have. Nevertheless, their following includes some well-known devotees. Skinny Puppy’s cEvin Key is known for having followed Legendary Pink Dots’ work since the band’s early years, and collaborated with Ka-Spel as The Tear Garden (they’ve released seven albums together since 1985, the most recent being 2017’s The Brown Acid Caveat). Singer-songwriter and erstwhile Dresden Doll Amanda Palmer is another longtime fan; just last year, she linked up with Ka-Spel and ex-Dots violinist Patrick Q. Wright for a one-off collaborative LP album titled I Can Spin a Rainbow. Last but not least, MGMT singled out the Dots—more specifically, their stylistic flexibility—as a source of inspiration for their breakthrough album, 2007’s indie-pop blockbuster Oracular Spectacular.

Needless to say, immersing oneself in the Legendary Pink Dots’ universe is deeply rewarding—and a bit overwhelming. Here’s a list of 10 standouts from the first 30 years of the band’s career to help you get started.

Brighter Now

The Legendary Pink Dots’ formative years coincide with the development of industrial music, so it can be really easy to think of them as emerging from that movement. After all, Edward Ka-Spel has collaborated with cEvin Key of Skinny Puppy (The Tear Garden) and Nurse with Wound’s Steven Stapleton. Back in 1991, though, Ka-Spel described the band’s early sound to Spiral Scratch Magazine as “more like industrial… nursery rhymes!” That stands as an apt description of the Dots’ 1982 vinyl debut, Brighter Now. It’s an oddball album in the band’s catalog; at times its songs resemble stripped-down versions of early ’80s synthpop as opposed to the dense, electronic rock that would follow, but there are moments throughout that point to where the Dots were heading.

The Tower

True to its title—a reference to the infamous Tower of London—1984’s The Tower is an album shaped by British politics, namely Margaret Thatcher’s policies and the then-Prime Minister’s chumminess with Chilean dictator General Augusto Pinochet. It’s a dark album, with a sound reflecting the urgency and frustration of the subject matter. Guitar, synths, and violin build into walls of sound every bit as claustrophobic and threatening as a castle prison. Ka-Spel had proved himself to be a charming and poetic singer and lyricist by the time of the record’s release—but on songs like “Break Day” and “Tower 1,” he proved just how visceral he could be, as well.

Island of Jewels

Photo by Dampfzentrale Bern

Released in 1986, Island of Jewels was the first album for The Legendary Pink Dots’ contract with notable indie label Play It Again Sam, a move that helped garner wider recognition for the band. At times, Island of Jewels takes on the qualities of film music, its songs tooled to guide listeners through a series of tense scenes and dramatic turns of events: “Emblem Parade” may well be the soundtrack to a long-lost Alfred Hitchcock film set in an ’80s nightclub. The record’s legacy is just as complicated as its sound. Ka-Spel seemed ambivalent when discussing Island of Jewels in an interview for Ptolemaic Terrascope in 1991, remarking, “Some of our best and worst moments are on that album”—but over 20 years later, he embraced it wholeheartedly in the Bandcamp description for its 2012 reissue, declaring it “one of the best albums The Dots ever made.”

The Golden Age

One of the most curious aspects of the Legendary Pink Dots is the band’s sizable goth following—a befuddling degree of popularity, given their lack of ties to the scene proper. The Golden Age might be part of the reason for this. The band’s 1988 album is the home of “Black List,” a long, moody, and rhythmic number that has had its fair share of spins inside goth clubs. It’s also a downright creepy album. Ka-Spel is a true storyteller and here he tells chilling tales with menacing characters and mysteries lurking under vivid poetry. The Golden Age was made while the Dots were at a crossroads; half the band left following tour and Ka-Spel and the Silverman were living in a caravan. The resulting album has more of a minimal sound than, for example, Island of Jewels, adding to the sinister vibe.

The Crushed Velvet Apocalypse

The Crushed Velvet Apocalypse, originally released in 1990, is perhaps the most accessible Legendary Pink Dots album. If your tastes lean towards sing-a-long songs, you can get into this album fast, but you might also lose yourself in the more atmospheric moments of cuts like “Green Gang.” It’s also one of their most masterful albums. The Dots shows their chops at crossing genres as they deftly move through music that ranges from the delicate folk of “I Love You in Your Tragic Beauty” to the harsh electronic sound of “Hellsville.” Lyrically, Ka-Spel is at his best—whimsical, yet witty and poignant. “Princess Coldheart” is a dark, cheeky fairytale spun in a song that’s about as pop as the Dots will ever get, but “Just a Lifetime” brings together sci-fi and fantasy imagery that taps into a very real sense of unease about the future. His line, “A fire-eater went insane and torched the final tree,” rings more relevant now in the era of climate change and catastrophic brush fires.

The Maria Dimension

Ideally, you should listen to The Maria Dimension right after The Crushed Velvet Apocalypse. The albums were released about a year apart and represent The Legendary Pink Dots’ transition into the 1990s. Where “Pennies for Heaven” and “Belladonna” harks to the songwriting on The Crushed Velvet Apocalypse, much of the rest of the album pushes the band’s sound further into psychedelic realms. That’s thanks in part to the songwriting and recording process. In a 2015 Blurt interview, Ka-Spel explained that The Maria Dimension came into being after a month of improvisation. For the curious, some of those improv moments can be found on The Maria Sessions, also available through the Dots’ Bandcamp site.

Hallway of the Gods

The Legendary Pink Dots have spent their career doing their own thing, but, in 1997, that thing serendipitously fell in line with what was happening in the indie rock world. The band’s krautrock influences took a softer turn, resulting in songs like the tender ballad “Sterre,” the chilled-out space rock of “Lucifer Landed,” and the wild sci-fi jam “The Saucers Are Coming.” Hallway of the Gods sounds perfectly comfortable next to other releases from that year, like Stereolab’s Dots and Loops, Broadcast’s Work and Non-Work, and Spiritualized’s Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space. But, The Legendary Pink Dots were already more than 15 years into existence. They had an established following and had already produced a large catalog of work. Perhaps that lack of newness led to Hallway of the Gods being sorely overlooked.

Chemical Playschool Volumes 11, 12 & 13

Chemical Playschool is a series of The Legendary Pink Dots releases that date back to early in the band’s history, when they were made as very limited-edition cassettes. This is the space where the Dots can get really weird and creative. Cassettes with handmade covers? They tried that in the early ‘80s. By the new millenium, though, the question was, “What could you do with the CD format?” First released in 2001, Chemical Playschool 11, 12, 13 was initially conceived as a three-CD set with three hours of music that were only paused while the discs changed. The material came in part from existing tapes and included new compositions, all of which become a seamless collage where Ka-Spel’s vocals are meticulously placed across the atmospheric canvas. The release is split up into more manageable chunks on the Bandcamp release. However, that still means that you’re getting a few tracks that hover around (and over) the 40 minute mark—more than enough time to zone out.

Plutonium Blonde

With a band whose history is as long as The Legendary Pink Dots’, it’s easy to concentrate on the early releases and leave it at that. Don’t make that mistake: the Dots continued to move forward in the 21st century with work that is every bit as interesting as the albums that garnered their initial fan base. 2008’s Plutonium Blonde might be the best example, melding borderline-ambient moments with Ka-Spel’s weird and wonderful stories. Whereas “An Arm & a Leg” plays out as a captivating mini radio drama for a modern audience, “Mailman” uncharacteristically steps into country terrain, albeit country with a space-rock twist.

Seconds Late for the Brighton Line

Released in 2010, Seconds Late for the Brighton Line coincided with The Legendary Pink Dots’ 30th anniversary, as well a time of transition: longtime members Martijn De Kleer and Niels van Hoorn left the fold before the band hit the studio. (Erik Drost, who played with the band earlier in the ’00s and appeared on albums like Poppy Variations and The Whispering Wall, rejoined the Dots founding members Edward Ka-Spel and The Silverman.) One might think that, with a shrunken line-up, the band would go for a simpler sound, but that’s not the case. There’s still a lot going on here, and it takes multiple listens to discover all the sounds tucked into this collection of songs. “Endless Time,” one of the album’s standout tracks, uses a clock-like rhythm to introduce a soothing melody that very gently crashes into waves of noise. “God & Machines” uses atmospheric noise to heighten the spectral quality in Ka-Spel’s voice, creating the sound of an unknown and uncomfortable afterlife.

-Liz Ohanesian

Source: https://daily.bandcamp.com/2018/12/04/legendary-pink-dots-primer/

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themoonfromsyb · 6 years ago

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Top Moon Tunes 2018 Volume 10

And so, a little over a month from Vol 9, here is Volume 10 and last of the monthlyish Top Moon Tunes of 2018. It is mostly the usual mix of rock 'n' roll with a bit of folk, but also some Ambient Art Pop, some quirky Scandi Pop and then it climaxes with a tip top slice of Hip Hop. As usual, there is a bit of guff on each artist beneath the embedded Playmoss playlist below and it is also on Spotify

1. Black Belt Eagle Scout - Soft Stud Black Belt Eagle Scout is the incarnation of Katherine Paul who was raised in the Swinomish Indian Tribal Community in northeast Washington state, Trumplyland, but is now Portland based. This cracking track was a track of the week on God Is In The TV and the cracking opener from a debut mini LP which has been described as "a robust soundtrack to queer heartbreak". 2. Farao - Lula Loves You Farao is the incarnation of Karin Jahnsen from Norway - a part of Europe that is not in the EU or the Customs Union but is in Mrs Thatcher's very own Single Market. This is a track from her second album, both of which have been reviewed by God Is In The TV and they sum up the new album very well as a "spellbinding and unique blend of different eras of music: vintage Soviet Union synthesizers, mystical zither, dreamy chimes and 1990’s R&B inspired vocals intertwine." 3. The Good, The Bad and the Queen - The Truce of Twilight This third contribution from Mr Albarn to Moon Top Tunes 2018 - he is the most multiple of multiple of Moon offenders in his many incarnations. This is his second LP from his other supergroup and 12 years since their debut. It is inspired by travelling around Brexshitty Engerland and is therefore appropriately doomladen, but also a lovely sounding lament. With this track Mr Albarn finally manages to match The Specials at their best, helped of course by the talents of Mr Allen, Mr Simonon and Mr Tong. 4. Papercuts - Walk Backwards Another discovery thanks to God Is In The TV, who had also only recently come across them despite the release of six albums. Papercuts is not really band, but more the musical project of California singer-songwriter and producer Jason Robert Quever. The sound on this latest LP is very much classic indie in the style of Jesus and Mary Chain, but with added Beach Boy harmony and some top organ - which is well illustrated by this track. 5. Anna St Louis - Understand This is from the debut full LP from this Kansas City raised, but now LA based singer-songwriter, although she also self-released an 8 track mini album last year. The LP is co-produced by Kevin Morby, a previous Moon offender, and his influence is most pronounced on this track. He has also described the album as "a record of longing - of a soul reaching for more". 6. Garcia Peoples - Hangin' On This is another example of some top notch rock 'n' roll being brought to my attention by Folk Radio UK (FRUK) when their epic single Suite: Cashing Out / Sigh of Relief / The Midnight Dancer / All the Time / Distant Lands was a track of the day back in July. It took me a while to get round to the LP, but FRUKS description of their King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard like epic is also appropriate for the LP: "cosmic psych glory. Likened by WFMU’s Jeff Conklin to The Dead’s tightest, most simple studio work, the Allmans’ most radio-friendly moments and the Band’s early 70s output....What’s not to like?" Suite is the centrepiece but this track is another, more playlist friendly, highlight. 7. Odetta Hartman - Widow's Peak This is an example of some top future folk not featured on FRUK.. Ms Hartman is from New York but she has managed to make a second LP which is a glorious, poptastic and futuristic mix of folk, bluegrass, and Americana with experimental/warped psychedelia. 8. The Wave Pictures - Shelly From the Moon album of the month from these very productive multiple Moon offenders. It is their second album of the year, but the first one was a bit of an experiment in writing and producing an album in a day but, for this LP they spent a full two day on the recording. They describe its sound brilliantly on their website "enjoy some deep down rockin' and rollin' with a love song intended for the young Elvis Presley to cover in an alternate universe, a love song in the laid back style of early 70s Grateful Dead, a beatnik prose poem, Exile on Main Street era Rolling Stones with Tom Verlaine on Lead Vocals, Highway 61 Revisited era Bob Dylan with Nigel Blackwell from Half Man Half Biscuit on lead vocals, and Astral Weeks era Van Morrision as re-recorded by Jonathan Richman and The Modern Lovers. We have something for everyone on this album!" 9. Marianne Faithfull - They Come at Night (Alternative Version) Ms Faithfull is an artist I have long admired but this is the first LP of hers I have got into. It is mostly impressive stuff with some top collaborations with Nick Cave and Ed Hardcourt, but this track, with multiple Moon offender Mark Lanegan, is a powerful highlight, especially this tighter alternative version. She wrote the lyric on the night of the Bataclan attack in Paris and she equates Daesh to Fascists as they are simply Fascists who are Muslim, who are no more Islamic than the so-called Tommy Robinson etc is Christian. 10. boygenius - Ketchum, ID This is from a six track ep from a brilliantly named new supergroup made up of 3 of Trumpylands finest new singer-songwriter guitarists. Two of them, Lucy Dacus and Phoebe Bridgers, are previous Moon offenders and the third, Julien Baker has been highly recommended, but her LP did not quite manage to float my boat. However, all six tracks on the EP are boat floaters, although the tracks Ms Dacus takes the lead on are my favourite, with Ms Bridgers a close second and this track is one of hers and is featured as it is the only one streamable via Bandcamp. It is the most folky track, but also highlights how well their voices combine. Excellent stuff - I very much hope there is more to come. 11. Malcom Middleton - Love is a Momentary Lapse of Self Loathing This is the song title of the year from "Bananas" the new album from the other half of Arab Strap. After another interesting, but mostly instrumental Human Don't Be Angry album and the more electronic Summer of 13, this LP is a bit more rock 'n' roll and as a fans writes on his the Bananas Bandcamp page: "Good to have Malcolm back; I was starting to feel okay about myself but he's brought me back to Earth with this new album." 12. Steven James Adams and The French Drops - Desire Lines This album came out a few months ago, but the Spotify "algorithm" did not put it in my buried new release feed as I was following Steven James Adams and not Steven James Adams and the French Drops. Mr Adams is the former Broken Family Band lead singer, from Cambridgeshire in Brexshit Blighty and a cracking track from his 2016 solo LP featured on A Best of 2016 on the Moon. This latest album with The French Drops is more rock 'n' roll with what I think is a bit of Brexshit inspired political anger. This track is one of the more laid back ones, but is a brilliant highlight. 13. The Trials of Cato - These Are The Things This is from a young folk trio who hail from Wales and Gods Very Own County, but probably not form the most left behind parts as they do look a bit worryingly Mumford and Son like. However, they actually formed in Beirut whilst working as English teachers and as a very enamoured FRUK has stated: Their time in Lebanon has muddied their North Wales and Yorkshire roots to add a distinctly Arabic twinge, like a Baharat spiced Welsh Oggie, or a Yorkshire Parkin with added cardamom. It’s a delicious, heady mix" They also have the rare distinction of a full on folk act getting rave reviews in God Is In The TV as well as FRUK. The only downside is that there are only a handful of actual new songs, but like this track they are very strong and they also get brilliantly political, along with a great version of Tom Paine's Bones, which fans of the Young'uns or Grace Petrie should recognise. And though I only generally agree with an instrumental at the beginning or end of an album the ones on this LP are infectious. 14. Julia Holter - I Shall Love 2 Ms Holter is from Los Angeles and has been releasing albums since 2011 to great acclaim. I had tried to get into her last two LPs but my boat had just not managed to float. However, when this track came out, as a pre-release for her new LP, it was a instant boat floater. It is a bit of an epic, that takes a while to get going, but it has a great tune and a big chorus and builds to a brilliant climax. The rest of the album is more like her previous work, but it is always interesting and/or wonderfully weird and there are more few tunes that or more easily recognisable as actual songs. 15. Homeboy Sandman & Edan - #NeverUseTheInternetAgain A slice of tip top Hip Hop from New York, brought to my attention by the AV Club who were excited by the "reemergence of Edan, a rapper and producer whose last LP, 2005’s Beauty And The Beat, is a benchmark in post-millennial underground hip-hop, fusing ’60s psych-rock with ’90s sampledelic boom-bap". It is from an impressive 7 track LP and is an appropriately climatic end to Top Moon Tunes 2018.

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unsupervisedidiot · 6 years ago

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Who is my 26 yo self

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? A cute guy that I just started seeing 2. Are you outgoing or shy? Depends. Socially, very shy. But if you ever start me on politics or history, I get very passionate. 3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? That cute guy I just told you about 4. Are you easy to get along with? I think so. I don’t get angry very easily. And if i’m being honest I’m pretty darn funny 5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? I guess? But I tend to take care of myself, thank you very much. 6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Kind, honest and caring people. I also absolutely adore guys with dark eyes and long eyelashes. 7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? Who knows! I sure don’t. 8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? fjdsk;afk 9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Absolutely not. 10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? I guess it was that guy I’ve been seeing. 11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? I’m bitching about my landlord to my best friend. 12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? Picture of Health, by We Were Promised Jetpacks - First View of Tokyo, by RADWIMPS, My Sweet Lord, by George Harrisson, Love like You, from Steven Universe and I guess Octopath Traveler’s entire soundtrack 13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? oMG YES 14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? Luck, yes, Miracles, no. 15. What good thing happened this summer? So many my dudes, so many. 16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? YUP 17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Absolutely 18. Do you still talk to your first crush? Not at all, but we’re friends on FB and he’s marrying the woman of his dreams this week, and I’m so happy for both of them. 19. Do you like bubble baths? I DOOOOO 20. Do you like your neighbors? nooooooooooo 21. What are you bad habits? Procrastinating, over eating (oops) 22. Where would you like to travel? I would like to go back to Japan and Italy, and I wish I could go to the UK, Ireland, Iceland, Finland, Denmark, etc. 23. Do you have trust issues? In myself, yes, In others, sometimes, mostly for friendship. Almost never for relationship. 24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Breakfast 25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? Shoulders/boobs/arms 26. What do you do when you wake up? I check my phone. It’s a bad habit. 27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? I’m quite happy with my skin! 28. Who are you most comfortable around? My friend Tania 29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? Nope. I actually broke up with almost all of them. 30. Do you ever want to get married? Honestly, I don’t know. I feel like it’s the kind of things I’ll know if I meet the right person for me. 31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? Yup 32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? Carrie Mulligan and Eddy Redmane? Dude, I don’t know. It’s weird. 33. Spell your name with your chin. gfsw no this is dumb i’m not doing it 34. Do you play sports? What sports? LOL 35. Would you rather live without TV or music? TV 36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Yes, multiple times. 37. What do you say during awkward silences? “En tout cas.” 38. Describe your dream girl/guy? Dark eyes/hair, smells nice, kind, curious, smart, likes to discover new food. 39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? EB Games, Indigo and Omer Deserres. 40. What do you want to do after high school? lol 41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Yes. Especially my students. But just one though. 42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? I’m thinking 43. Do you smile at strangers? Yeah? Like at the cash register or if someone has a dog 44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? Bottom of the ocean 45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? Coffee 46. What are you paranoid about? That people don’t like me and are just pretending 47. Have you ever been high? Yup. 48. Have you ever been drunk? Yup. 49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? Yup. 50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Grey 51. Ever wished you were someone else? Yes. 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? I wish I could be a bit more sociable. 53. Favourite makeup brand? Too Faced 54. Favourite store? Indigo 55. Favourite blog? none. 56. Favourite colour? Deep purples and blues 57. Favourite food? Sushi, ramen, Tartare, my dad’s osso bucco 58. Last thing you ate? Salmon with veggies on egg noodles. 59. First thing you ate this morning? Bagel with smoked salmon cream cheese 60. Ever won a competition? For what? I don’t think so? I don’t like competitive stuff 61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? For missing out school with my first boyfriend. We skipped math to kiss in the park in front of my high school. My teenage self had no sense of priorities. 62. Been arrested? For what? Almost! For protesting. 63. Ever been in love? Yes, but very few times. 64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? I was drunk, he was high. I was mad that the guy I liked didn’t give me the attention I wanted, so I kissed this one guy instead. Yup, every little girl’s dream of a first kiss, ladies and gentlemen 65. Are you hungry right now? Nope! Just had dinner 66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? No 67. Facebook or Twitter? Twitter 68. Twitter or Tumblr? Twitter 69. Are you watching tv right now? Nop. 70. Names of your bestfriends? Tania and Francis 71. Craving something? What? Can’t tell! 72. What colour are your towels? White! 72. How many pillows do you sleep with? Too many 73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Nope! 74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? 4? 75. Favourite animal? DOGGO 76. What colour is your underwear? Teal! 77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate 78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Mint and chocolate chips! 79. What colour shirt are you wearing? Stripped 80. What colour pants? Jeans 81. Favourite tv show? Wow that’s hard. Probably card captor sakura? Princess Jellyfish? How I met your mother? 82. Favourite movie? That’s also super hard. I’d say the LOTR trilogy 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? Haven’t seen the second one. 84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? ? 85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? All of them. 86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? Dory! 87. First person you talked to today? Tania! 88. Last person you talked to today? It’ll be Tania, Francis or Lara! 89. Name a person you hate? Trump, my landlord. 90. Name a person you love? I’m not in love right now. 91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? lol. yes. 92. In a fight with someone? No? I don’t think so. 93. How many sweatpants do you have? One! 94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? Three 95. Last movie you watched? Kimi no na wa 96. Favourite actress? Oh that’s hard. Emma Watson 97. Favourite actor? Eddie Redmayne, Adam Driver 98. Do you tan a lot? NOOOOOO 99. Have any pets? I wish I had a doggo ;___; 100. How are you feeling? Tired! 101. Do you type fast? Yes! 102. Do you regret anything from your past? No, not really. 103. Can you spell well? In French, yes! 104. Do you miss anyone from your past? No. 105. Ever been to a bonfire party? Yup. 106. Ever broken someone’s heart? Yes. 107. Have you ever been on a horse? Yes! 108. What should you be doing? MY HOMEWORKS 109. Is something irritating you right now? My landlord. 110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? Yes. 111. Do you have trust issues? Wait, again? 112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? I don’t think he noticed but that guy I keep talking about. We talked about my mom, he said something (it wasn’t mean or anything, but it made me realize there are some things I should have done differently). 113. What was your childhood nickname? Gaby or Gab! 114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yes! 115. Do you play the Wii? I have a Switch! 116. Are you listening to music right now? Yes! We were promised jetpacks. 117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? YUS 118. Do you like Chinese food? YUS 119. Favourite book? All the Harry Potter books 120. Are you afraid of the dark? Yes. 121. Are you mean? I don’t think so. 122. Is cheating ever okay? No. 123. Can you keep white shoes clean? Nope. 124. Do you believe in love at first sight? No. 125. Do you believe in true love? Yes. But I don’t think everybody finds it. 126. Are you currently bored? Nope. 127. What makes you happy? Food, kisses, video games, good books. 128. Would you change your name? No, i like it! 129. What your zodiac sign? Gemini 130. Do you like subway? The restaurant? It’s ok i guess 131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Well this guy is in a relationship with my best friend, so I slap him back to reason. But I truly believe that the boyfriends i’ve had were my best friends at the time, so in that regards... it’s fine. 132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? Again? 133. Favourite lyrics right now? I always thought I might be bad, now I know that it’s true cause I think you’re so good and I’m nothing like you. Look at you go, I just adore you, i wish that I knew what makes you think I’m so special 134. Can you count to one million? No. Life is too short. 135. Dumbest lie you ever told? “I love you” yup, I’m that jerk. 136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? I don’t have a door! 137. How tall are you? Short. 138. Curly or Straight hair? I prefer curly 139. Brunette or Blonde? No opinion really. 140. Summer or Winter? WINTER 141. Night or Day? Day 142. Favourite month? December 143. Are you a vegetarian? Nope. 144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Dark 145. Tea or Coffee? Coffee 146. Was today a good day? Yeah! 147. Mars or Snickers? Mars. 148. What’s your favourite quote? Never be cruel, never be cowardly. Always try to be nice, but never fail to be kind. Laugh hard. Run fast. Be kind. - The Doctor. 149. Do you believe in ghosts? No.

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spynotebook · 8 years ago

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Art by Tsuneo Sanda. Visit his website here.

Bonjour, my bonny mailboxes. Thanks to your abundance of excellent letters, I have an extra big mailbag for you today! So let’s get right to it: What’s the best Guardians of the Galaxy soundtrack? Who could save the Transformers movie franchise? Why did WB decide to make the DCEU’s Batman so damn old? And more of your excellent and/or nerdy questions answered!

Machete Kills

Arnold C.:

Mr Postman, how do “Rogue One” and “The Force Awakens” affect the “Machete Order”? Start with “Rogue One”, and then move into “A New Hope”? Or, not even worry about R1? TFA after RoTJ for sure, right? What do we do about Episodes VII, VIII, and IX?

What if this does keep going on? If it extends forever, is there a point where you just watch all of SW numerically?

Let me start by informing anyone who might be unaware that the Star Wars “Machete Order” posits that people should watch A New Hope and Empire, then the prequels, and then Return of the Jedi, which is all essentially just to preserve the Vader-is-Luke’s father reveal. Some people even drop The Phantom Menace entirely. How to include The Force Awakens and Rogue One in this order is obviously causing some people some consternation. But I, as always, have the answer.

Arnold, over my many, many years as a nerd, I have discovered a truth, and it’s that only you know the best way to introduce someone to the Star Wars movies. Trust your feelings. Retract your targeting computer. Listen to the voice of the deceitful old man in your head.

I’m only partially kidding. We can say there’s a “perfect” order to watch the ever-increasing pile of Star Wars movies, but there really isn’t. I could almost argue that having the sequel trilogy makes the Machete Order better, in that Return of the Jedi wouldn’t just be hanging out there alone, only watched after the prequels, but Rogue One in particular has messed everything up.

Does anyone really think that Rogue One is the best entry into the Star Wars universe? Sure, it’s a hilariously direct prequel to A New Hope, but without seeing New Hope first, much of Rogue One would be weird if not outright off-putting. Seeing Star Wars first gives Rogue One the dramatic weight it needs to be truly exciting. And what the hell happens when the Han Solo side story shows up? It’ll almost certainly be set before Rogue One, but a Star Wars viewing order that starts Han Solo, Rogue One, then A New Hope does not sounds good to me—and certainly no way to potentially create a fan. And what about all the cartoons? Now that everything is canon, don’t they belong to be somewhere in here too?

But here’s the truth: There is no perfect order to watch these films, at least for everybody. But there can be a perfect order for you, or whoever you want to show it to. I will always want to start with A New Hope, because that’s my first, and my lynchpin to the Star Wars universe. But kids who grew up with the prequels are likely perfectly fine watching Episodes 1-3 and then the original trilogy. Meanwhile, some people will be fine—maybe even significantly happier—if Episode 1 is omitted completely from the viewing order. And maybe the best way for you to watch Rogue One is by watching the original trilogy, then the prequels, then Rogue One, and then A New Hope again. My point is there isn’t a universally correct answer here.

Sponsored

Let me tell you guys something: I have two adorable nieces who love Star Wars. They’re much too young to watch the movies, but they devour the licensed children’s books constantly. I cannot wait to show them the movies, but how? Obviously, my instinct is to start with the original trilogy—but given how kid-friendly The Phantom Menace is, I find it most likely their parents would let them see that first. (And I bet they’ll love it. We adults can complain as much as we want, but all little kids love The Phantom Menace.)

But if they watch TPM, it’s not like they’ll necessarily be ready to check out the original trilogy the next day. It may take a few months, maybe even a year, but eventually they’ll be able to handle Luke getting his hand cut off in Empire, at which point I imagine they’ll be able to handle Anakin’s similar hand problems in Attack of the Clones. Maybe that’ll be a good point to have them watch Clone Wars, but I think Rebels is a bit more kid-friendly and we’d probably do that first. Revenge of the Sith and Rogue One are going to have to wait years later, because they’re so damn violent. But I bet they could watch The Force Awakens right after Return of the Jedi.

So here’s my potential order for them: The Phantom Menace, the original trilogy, Rebels, Attack of the Clones, Clone Wars, The Force Awakens, Rogue One, and then Revenge of the Sith. And likely a ton of repeat viewings of the movies they’ve gotten to in-between the new ones.

Basically, it’s going to be a mess, and it’s going to be fine, because they’re kids and they’re going to love it all, and one day we’ll have a little marathon so they can see them all together. I’ll ask them which movies they want to start with, and I’ll bet you anything they say the sequel trilogy. They are going to grow up with these sequels, and it’s more than likely the adventures of Rey, Finn, and Poe are gonna be their Star Wars movies.

Trust your instincts. Keep your audience’s needs and desires in mind. And remember, the goal here is to give the viewers, even if it’s just you, the best Star Wars experience possible. It’s not about order. It’s about enjoying these movies.

Mixing It Up

Katie K.:

Greetings, Postman. I hope you have found something more nutritious than mail since your last dispatch.

Which soundtrack is better: Awesome Mix Vol. 1 or Awesome Mix Vol. 2? Please show your work.

Vol. 2. This is a tough call for me, because Vol. 1 has Bowie’s “Moonage Daydream” from The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust, my favorite album of all time, and adding the Jackson Five’s “I Want You Back” makes for a strong combo.

Vol. 2 doesn’t have Bowie, but it has “Surrender” by Cheap Trick, an all-time great. It has George Harrison’s “My Sweet Lord,” his best work outside of the Beatles. It includes “Mr. Blue Sky,” which isn’t my favorite E.L.O. song, but I very much appreciate ELO being included. Plus, Parliament! Also plus, that wonderfully ridiculous David Hasselhoff disco song (above)! And Looking Glass’ “Brandy” is about 900 times better than Rupert Holmes’ “Pina Colada Song,” included in the Vol. 1 soundtrack.

But the biggest reason I prefer Vol. 2 is because it introduced me to “Father and Son” by Yusuf, formerly Cat Stevens, which is simply amazing. One of my favorite things about a soundtrack is when introduces me to a song I’ve never heard before, and I discover I completely love it (a Tarantino soundtrack is usually good for this). All in all, I gotta give it to Vol. 2.

Some indeterminable Transformers. Image: Paramount.

Bay Watch

Neil S.:

If Michael Bay gets hit by a bus or more likely killed by one of his own explosions tomorrow, is there anyone that can take the current profitable but otherwise totally fucked Transformers cinematic universe and basically un-fuck it?

Like could a Justin Lin or James Gunn - someone who knows a thing or two about good movies that also make yacht-loads of cash - come in and turn things around? Soft-reboot and a Unicron story or something? Or is this franchise lost forever to gaping plot holes and seizure-inducing action scenes?

Nothing is irreparable, at least until the apocalypse arrives. However, there is no need for Hasbro and Paramount to make any changes until these movies stop making money, which almost certainly won’t happen until after Michael Bay finally leaves, which he’s not going to do until Paramount stops sending dumptrucks full of cash and precious jewels to his mansion, which they won’t do as long as Bay stays on board. Something’s going to have to give, whether Bay finally really quits, or Bay finally puts something on-screen so offensive and/or horrible Paramount can’t hire him again. He survived the Racist Twins of Revenge of the Fallen; I’m having a hard time envisioning what he might do in the future that’s more inappropriate than they were.

If/when Bay leaves, the poor director who tries to emulate his footsteps will fail, because he/she will not have made the same pact with the devil that ensures Bay’s continues success. Sooner or later, it will be time for Transformers to be rebooted, and since this incarnation has been all about explosions and gibberish, it makes as much sense as anything that Hasbro might try to focus on the Transformers as characters.

I may have said this before, but in my profession as a professional nerd I’ve had occasion to rewatch all the ‘80s cartoons of my youth, and the best one by far is Transformers. The Autobots and Decepticons all have more depth and personality than G.I.Joe, my beloved He-Man, the Thundercats, all of ‘em. A movie where the Transformers are real characters, with real personalities and motivations instead of being the simplest of clichés? I’m down.

Honestly, Justin Lin or James Wan would be great—anyone who directed a Fast and Furious movie should absolutely be considered to direct a movie about vehicles that also turn into robots. Also, after somehow making a live-action movie about the infamously difficult-to-interpret Wonder Woman, which is genuinely good despite whatever nightmare interference WB surely attempted, I think Patty Jenkins would be an amazing choice. I trust her implicitly to direct just about anything right now.

Pipe dream, Kathryn Bigelow. Seriously, she’s one of the finest directors out there, period, and she’s done enough (incredible) action movies and genre work that I think she could truly make Transformers into something special—something great—instead of a mere spectacle. Honestly, though, a Transformers movie would be a bit beneath her.

A Mash of Kings

Matthew B.:

Here’s an idea. Create an entire TV or movie universe based off Stephen King’s novels. He’s already laid most of the groundwork through the Dark Tower series. It could revolve around a Randall Flagg being thwarted again and again. Maybe take a little license with some of the characters. Who wouldn’t watch that?

Each season could be a different book. I know there are probably some rights issues with all the new King movies coming out but I have zero faith that any of them will be franchises. Curious for your thoughts on a King-iverse.

Well, this will likely come as good news: Hulu is making a show that’s mashing up many of Stephen King’s works into one world—well, one town, really—called Castle Rock. The trailer is above, it’s being produced by J.J. Abrams and Bad Robot, and right now the word is that it’ll debut in August.

However, a mash-up isn’t exactly a shared universe; having Danny from The Shining, Dolores Claiborne, and Pennywise all living in the same suburb is a fun idea, but if you’re looking for something that stays truer to King’s novels, I have an idea you’ll probably like better, although Castle Rock means it isn’t going to happen anytime soon, if ever,

If we want a real Kingiverse, we need to be able to tell King’s stories and tease those light connections they share, but not go overboard with them, since his books primarily stand by themselves. There is already a model for this, exactly, and it’s American Horror Story. It’s an anthology seies, and each season tells its own tale, but there are enough hints at them sharing one world that it thrills fan while not making it impenetrable for people who merely enjoy each season on its own merits.

Each season of a King anthology series could tackle a new novel, which is honestly the best way to present them anyway (they need space). Throw in a few Easter Eggs—maybe have The Dark Tower’s Gunslinger and Man in Black pop up briefly once per season (certainly recasting them with much less expensive actors)—and you’ve got King gold, my friends.

If this ever happens, I fully expect you guys to sign my petition demanding I get recognized and paid for my genius.

Now, if you haven’t seen The Flash finale, you might want to skip to the next letter.

Wells Established

No Oddjob:

Ahoy, Postmaestro. I’m a life-long fan of the Flash (superhero, not indecent exposure), to the degree that I even own the 1990’s series starring John Wesley Shipp in the title role, and I still like it.

That said, I’m also a huge fan of Tom Cavanagh, to the point where I *would* own the old NBC series ‘Ed’ where he was in the title role if anyone ever released it on any medium anywhere.

But instead I settle for the second best of both worlds in DC’s ‘The Flash’ on the CW, a show that rests comfortably on the shoulders of a diverse cast. But what’s up with Tom Cavanagh on that show? He’s played Dr. Wells/Thawne, Harry Wells, and H.R. Wells, not to mention all the little micro-Wellses when they were multiverse-fishing for the Wells to beat all Wells.

Don’t get me wrong, I think Cavanagh’s natural frantic energy plays well into the latest, neurotic “H.R.” version of the character, but now I’m worried we’re just going to get a new Wells every season, and that this whole show will have just been a contractually-obligated range exercise for Cavanagh.

Well, your worry is reasonable and 100 percent justified by the finale. Without going into detail, it looks as if we may get a new Wells next season, as played by Tom Cavanaugh. That will be the fourth Wells, introduced in the fourth season, and that’s enough evidence that this is going to be the TV series regularly thing. So I believe your fear is entirely justified.

My counter-argument is: Would that be so bad? I think we’re all in agreement that the best Wells would season one Wells, when he was secretly Eobard Thawne. Season two Wells was smart and cold, but that made him an interesting new mentor to the SuperSTARs, especially when season one’s Wells seemed to be so kind. Season three Wells was comic relief virtually all of the time, but that certainly made the finale twist something I didn’t expect.

Whatever the case, The Flash would lose something special if it lost Tom Cavanaugh, and I would be shocked if the showrunners didn’t realize that. That almost certainly means yet another Wells for season four (or maybe Earth-2 Wells will stick around?) but I’m confident Tom Cavanaugh is up to the challenge of making Wells v4 interesting, funny, ominous, or something else entirely.

Freddie Stroma as the perpetually baffled H.G. Wells in the late Time After Time TV series. (Image: ABC)

The Time After That Other Time

Mike:

Hey Rob! In scifi scenarios involving time travel to the past, oftentimes the time traveler is transported to the EXACT location of where the current-day machine is located. A time machine at 100 Park Ave, New York City would transport the subject to that exact location in the past.

Shouldn’t this NOT happen, like ever? If time travel involves time AND space, wouldn’t the subject end up choking in the middle of space (where the earth and subject ACTUALLY were during that time in the past)?

The earth is constantly spinning, rotating, and revolving around the sun. Wouldn’t the earth’s coordinates during that specific time factor in?

Yes, it shouldn’t happen.

…

I’m sorry, you wanted more? Only a time machine that can move in space—like the TARDIS—should be able to stay in one location while traveling through time. You can’t even pretend that a time machine could travel to the same day each year, on our rotation around the sun, because our entire solar system is moving because the galaxy and the universe is expanding. Even if we ignored that, we orbit the sun at 67,000 mph, or 1116.6 miles per minute. Time traveling for a minute, and staying in the same space, would have you floating in the least level of Earth’s atmosphere, the exosphere.

The problem is this makes for terrible time travel stories, because it’s painfully complicated and uninteresting, and trying to explain it away requires way too much time.

So yes, you’re right, gold star for you. Now live with the knowledge that this will never, ever be corrected.

I don’t know why this photo cracks me up, (Photo by Matt Sayles/Invision/AP)

I’m Too Old for This Murder

Cheryl J.:

Dear Postman,

Will you please explain to me why WB/DC chose to go with “Old Man” BatFleck? I (kinda) understand all the love for Frank Miller’s Dark Knight, but choosing an old version of Bats, as opposed to a younger, less murderer-y version doesn’t make sense to me. I thought they wanted to form a true franchise universe with plenty of JLA action, but I find it stupid to pick Batman (the most mortal of the group) to be the grandfather of the pack. He’s already retired once and has years of poundings under his belt. How many movies can the old man really do that doesn’t have him rolling around on a Bat-Rascal?

Also, do you have to answer to a Postal Apocalypse Postmaster General?

Two reasons: 1) The DCEU crew thought about their favorite Batman moments, which were mostly his most well-known moments, and came up with the Batman/Superman fight from The Dark Knight Returns. They decided they had to put that in a movie and reverse-engineered the film around this fight.

2) Batman is old in TDKR, but I don’t think WB execs were actually determined to have an older Batman... until they scored Ben Affleck for the role. Affleck is a huge box office draw, has mass appeal, and (at the time) was potentially willing into write and direct a solo Batman film! A beloved Oscar-winning director making a Batman film? Oh, the Warner Bros execs must have done plenty of the happy cocaine that day. I’m sure fans like Zack Snyder and David S. Goyer also didn’t mind putting an older, wiser Bruce on-screen to further the TDKR homage, but honestly I think Affleck could have demanded to wear Groucho glasses during the entirety of Batman v Superman and the WB would have let him, happily.

Making sure they put a Dark Knight Returns-esque Bat vs. Supes fight was job #1, followed closely by getting Affleck in the cowl. Planning ahead for the rest of the DC Expanded Universe was probably a distant #8 on the list.

As for the post-apocalyptic Postmaster General, remember, I am a fake mailman… which means there is absolutely a fake Postmaster General running around, trying to steal my shtick. If I find him I will kill him… unless he’s really polite. Or offers me a snack.

You guys sent a ton of great letters this week, hence the extra long “Postal” this week. Care to keep it up? Then please send your questions, concerns, arguments that need settling, pleas for advice, whatever the heck you want to [email protected]!

#IFTTT #Feedly

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