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scoundrels-in-love · 1 month ago

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ok your turn: for the character game - the mashwood gang, and just to throw a wildcard in there, zazie!

Hiii Sav my darling, what good picks you have. <3

Nicholas D. Wolfwood already done here.

Vash the Stampede

Where to even start, Vash is one of the most complicated, layered characters I've gotten attached to. He gives me headache anytime I try to write him. He is soggy kitten, he is Heaven's wrath incarnate, he is my favorite loser, his swag is unmatched. He needs a smack and world's longest hug at the same time. Monster with the tenderest heart, human with sharpest teeth to sink in your soft hand, just so he wouldn't have to anticipate you wincing at the sight of him. I could go on, you get the gist.

Wolfwood and Meryl. There are some expansions of the polycule that I will read, courtesy of friends, but I am true to Mashwood at the end of the day.

Milly, LivRaz, Luida as family. And in some out of field, fanfic explorations - Zazie. I just think there's so much untapped potential there.

'98/BLR is not my Vash and is hardly Vash at all for most of the story. While I know that some of his lecherous ways were taken from early chapters of Trigun and adapted directly, manga did a lot better job overall balancing tone and energy of him. I don't want to have to keep in mind an essay why supposedly 'he's just faking it as means of another layer of self protection' while internally gagging at every second action of a character.

Vash coming home, finding that place and starting genuine journey of healing. Perhaps us getting us to see how much of it he'd need of it, actually. Can we get a therapist and psychiatrist up in this bitch (NML)?! But there is always fanfiction to make up for this!

Meryl Stryfe

My first impression of her was mixed, but as I purposefully decided to figure her out, I ended up understanding and at times, even identifying with her. Perhaps it was projection, perhaps I am right, but either way, I love her dearly now and think she's very important third piece of the themes that are central to Trigun. About humanity, guilt, choices we continiously make. She completes the Inhuman - made Inhuman through action - Human spectrum of it all and is a fascinating failure that picks herself up continiously, despite immeasurable grief to watch

Vash and Wolfwood. Comes as a bundle, do not separate. Now and then, might read about expanded polycule because of my friends, but I will always return to my roots. And sometimes, in crack-treated-seriously way: Knives or Zazie.

Milly. And Zazie. I think she and LivRaz could strike unusual, but precious friendship, too.

She is not the braincell of the group. She might hold it for brief moments, but then it slips through her very autistic hands and bounces off into new, distant direction. Also I think she hyperfixates on her job in any media as routine and also because it is much easier for her to write than speak. She is not good at people-ing, at all.

Having her trauma explored. This goes for all canons. We touch very briefly on Dragon's Nest impact or how she feels about letting Tonis go, but her grief and guilt is barely a fifth fiddle to Vash's central suffering in narrative. And I think it is so important and also amazing way to juxtaposition her, fresh to this, versus Vash's ancient, yet continiously piling guilt. And where they can comfort each other about this, where they can heal together and where their approaches differ. Perhaps in next season we can have her Julai guilt, about Roberto, about not killing Conrad for what he's done to Wolfwood, before he does all that to Vash, etc. Just... More of Meryl, I suppose?

Zazie the Beast

I want their gender. So badly. If I'd read Trimax as a teenager, I think I'd have imprinted on them so badly, their design is so highly fitting some of my OCs that I'd have made them a faceclaim and inspiration for sure. There is something so beautiful, tragic and haunting about a collective of minds coming together to protect, learn and grow as a person. They are a god in their own right.

In very unlikely, practically crack-treated-seriously way: Meryl.

Most of all, Meryl. But I think Vash and Wolfwood are fascinating options as well, particularly Vash.

I... Don't think I have one? But I do stand by my headcanon that they keep an eye on Meryl through the two years and onward, perhaps visit and bond with her. Also, we just need more of Zazie, always.

I am holding out hope for this to happen in TriStamp/TriGaze, but in Trimax, I wish they'd had a chance to speak with human (Meryl) or Vash about the transience and immortality, about being something beyond comprehension, yet becoming more and more human as time and engagement goes on. There are fascinating parallels to be had between them and Independents, as being that are practically gods clash and work together over the same shared space, dealing with the fleetingly lived humanity. I'd give so much for Meryl to become a sort of ambassador of the Wyrms and help create a better future for both them and humanity.

Give me a character?<3

#ask games answered #lovely people #sent on a cloud

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science-lings · 7 months ago

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Summaries of the AU's below the cut bc I know I'm going to be annoying about it

1- Set in a world that's just a bit more magical than we're used to, Trucy has actual magic, Edgeworth is a vampire, that type of thing, the first fic in this au is about 7k words in. Another important part of this AU is that Ryunosuke was Phoenix's previous form so there could potentially be fics in the TGAA era in this AU. Slow build on the lore aspect but the parallels with Edgeworth and Phoenix are going to be insane.

2- Fem!Phoenix (and Edgeworth and Larry) where a big part of the AU is that Phoenix has a stronger connection to the dead and is haunted by the ghosts of Ryunosuke and Kazuma, her spiritual abilities vary and the Magatama helps her see the ghosts around her. She's not really a Fey, her spiritual sensitivity is not due to her blood but the Fey's kind of adopted her, multiple times. The fic for this au is 18k words in and features some incredibly sapphic moments between her and Edgeworth. There was also a fic published for this au for Wright Family week.

3- Hear me out, Yatagarasu but it's Kay, Ema, and Phoenix, all working to end the dark age of the law. Big spy movie vibes. Ema is the tech guy who works as a detective for the LAPD and gets all the inside information, Kay is a full-on vigilante who sneaks into the computers and files of big important corrupt people, she narrowly escapes any confrontation with the police and is so fun about it. Phoenix is their connection to the criminal underworld through the less-than-legal happenings at the Hydeout and his accidental friendship with Viola Cadverdini.

I also think it's funny to bend his skills to make him a surprisingly good underground spy type. He's a good actor who can detect lies and can talk out of his ass for hours, he's also well known as the guy who got some of the scariest people locked away so he's got a reputation. And I want to come up with any sort of scenario where he has to act like Kay's dad for some mission and they run into Edgeworth specifically because I think I would be so funny. Anyway, badass beanix who totally sees that the girls in their early 20s that he works with are crushing on each other and is having too much fun being the distraction for their schemes.

Technically the fic I wrote where Trucy teaches Phoenix how to throw knives is part of this au. anyway, I could talk about them for hours let's move on.

4-Exactly what it says on the tin, Phoenix gets poisoned in college and loses his sight, maybe he grew up in a catholic orphanage so I can give him some classic catholic guilt, this one isn't as well thought out it's just a general vibe at this point. I just want to see Phoenix with some blue glasses who gets aided by Maya during cases and who kicks ass on the side because he doesn't completely trust the law to do what's right. He has that thing where he's so good at getting beat up. Also, poor defense attorney swag, keeps having a soft heart and taking cases pro bono. Idk I just think superhero-style AU's are fun to play with and this one made some sense.

#only press the read more if you want a look into my twisted mind (autism)#ace attorney #phoenix wright #they're all based on him im sorry he's my babygirl #Do you think Kay would be Daredevil!Phoenix's sidekick like batman and robin?#they would at least team up to wreck absolute havoc #don't worry I'll make a good poll soon #andromedas poll hell

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the-sicklysweetest · 2 years ago

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Lend Me Your Heart

As promised, here is a not-so-brief synopsis of the dating sim I'm working on!

Lend Me Your Heart is a visual novel in which you are a transfer student going to a new university (thanks to your old university for axing your major program, sigh). Your new university puts you in the upperclassmen housing they offer, so you don't have to worry about getting an apartment, but the building you were placed in is rumored to be... Cursed. People say that the basement is haunted, that you can hear screams coming from the rooms, that people lose their minds when they live there. The basement also happens to be where you're moving in. Which is... Fantastic.

You're the last person to move in on the floor, so you're able to get to know everyone right away. They all seem nice enough, not without their quirks, but nothing off-putting (and they're all quite attractive). Where, then, are all of these rumors coming from? Everyone else is also new to the basement this year, so maybe the curse was broken the year before? You hope for that, but strange things are already happening...

Less story-like description of the game + content warnings under the cut!

Lend Me Your Heart is a yandere dating sim, in which you live in a dorm surrounded by characters who become completely and utterly enamored with you. Enough to do some horrible things to keep you safe.

The game has five main love interests, with two or three non-romanceable, but important, side characters (currently). Each character has a different path of study in school and different... Methods to their madness. Which you learn about the further you progress on their routes! It's a visual novel, so your agency is based on dialogue choices (which may have more relevancy than you think no matter which ending you plan to get!)

If you like the handful of yandere imagines I wrote on my imagines blog, you'll probably like this.

Some more non-story stuff: You can choose the pronouns you use, it doesn't restrict you from getting any routes. If you choose not to input anything for pronouns, the game uses he/him by default. The current love interest options are all men, and have canon appearances already.

I'll introduce the characters (featuring some of my very messy sketches of them) soon!

Right now I'm making it in RenPy, but that may change if I need things that I can't do in it! (Although honestly given the games created by RenPy in the past, I think it may work fine for my needs)

What you will encounter depends on which route you focus on, so this list will definitely get expanded upon as the game gets closer to having some kind of release, but generally speaking:

Content Warnings:

Yandere trope (especially obsession)

Stalking

Blood/Gore (written descriptions will often be more detailed/potentially gruesome than visual art) (I can't draw gore well)

Murder

Needles/Knives/Other sharp weapons

Sexual content

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secretdestinypainter · 9 months ago

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The Best New Book Releases Out of 2024:

In today's world where everyone is having different screenings and digital distractions, I feel like there is something great and truly magical about diving into a good book. Books have the power to transport us with the well of knowledge, introduce us to fascinating characters, and make us think about different imaginations that nothing else can do not even this digital media. I love reading books and exploring new characters based on interesting stories. Let me join you on a journey to the enchanting world of books, where we can learn and explore adventure, knowledge, and inspiration awaiting on every page.

When it comes to new releases, I’ve been loving the Black horror girlie surge that’s been part of the Horror Renaissance, the latest of which is Dead Girls Walking by Sami Ellis. It’s a YA slasher that follows a girl looking for her mother’s body at the summer camp that — get this — her serial killer father once owned. Supreme horror mess of the highest order.

Another new horror title, albeit an adult one, is Diavola by Jennifer Marie Thorne. Diavola also has some family drama going on, this time set against a haunted Italian villa during a vacation. Finally, there’s the conclusion to troubled, half-Native teen Jade Daniels’s Indian Lake saga in The Angel of Indian Lake by Stephen Graham Jones.

Stepping outside of horror, Like Happiness by Ursula Villarreal-Moura sees protagonist Tatum Vega getting her newfound peace upended when news breaks that a famous author — someone she dated years ago — has been accused of assault. And, from the author of The Enchanted — which I inhaled when it was first published years ago — comes Sleeping Giants, a tale of foster kids, abuse, and real-life monsters. Lastly, Worry by Alexandra Tanner, is a debut described as “a Seinfeldian novel of existentialism and sisterhood.”

In the featured books below, there’s an entry into a popular cozy mystery series, queer love across timelines, a reimagining of Icarus, and more.

The Good, the Bad, and the Aunties by Jesse Q. Sutanto

isSutanto stays with her foot on our necks with these new releases, phew. After last year’s über popular Vera Wong’s Unsolicited Advice for Murderers, she’s back with another cozy mystery, this time a continuation of her bestselling Aunties series. Here, Meddy Chan travels to Jakarta to spend the Chinese New Year with family. But then, a former fling of one of Meddy’s Aunties — affectionately known as Second Aunt — shows up trying to stunt with bougie gifts. Well, one of the gifts was actually meant for a business rival, and it being accidentally given to Meddy’s family sets her and her Aunties up to become mixed up in a decades-long feud between Jakarta’s business organizations. When things get really real — and Meddy and her family are put in harm’s way — it’s up to Meddy to save them all.

There’s Always This Year: On Basketball and Ascension by Hanif Abdurraqib

Hanif Abdurraqib is the National Book Award-nominated author of A Little Devil in America, and here he aims his poetic eye at basketball. With his usual mix of the personal and communal, he looks at one of America’s favorite sports, examining its history, who makes it and who doesn’t, and LeBron James.

How to Solve Your Own Murder by Kristen Perrin

This is being compared to Knives Out, which makes it perfect for the fun-seeking cozy mystery reader. Almost 60 years ago, Frances was just a teenager at a fair with friends when a fortune-teller told her that someone would kill her. She spends the rest of her life trying to figure out her own future murderer. Then, one day, Annie is called to her great-aunt Frances’ huge country estate. She’s been murdered, and it’s up to Annie to figure out who did it. Good thing the dearly departed Frances kept detailed notes on potential suspects…

Icarus by K. Ancrum

In this queer Icarus retelling, the titular character is an art thief, but one with a victim who kind of has it coming. Icarus only steals from the wealthy Mr. Black by replacing his priceless art with his father’s flawless forgeries as part of revenge for Icarus’ mother’s death. A strict set of rules keeps Icarus from being exposed, until he gets caught by Mr. Black’s son, Helios, one night. But the enigmatic Helios doesn’t turn him in — instead, he asks for Icarus’ friendship. This friendship turns into something more that threatens everything — even what Icarus and his father hold dear.

The Emperor and the Endless Palace by Justinian Huang

Across multiple timelines and lives, two men are reborn, each life proving to them the eternity of love: a young emperor gets seduced by a courtier in 4 BCE, an innkeeper helps a mysterious visitor in 1740, and a college student meets an intriguing stranger in modern-day L.A.

The Rise and Fall of the Second American Republic: Reconstruction, 1860-1920 by Manisha Sinha

Sinha gives us a new look at a pivotal moment in U.S. history: Reconstruction. Despite Reconstruction’s claim of granting true freedom to Black people after the Civil War, the country’s leaders proved to not be very concerned with equality after all. And, by looking at imperialist desires, northern labor conflict, women’s suffrage, and the Chinese Exclusion Act, Sinha shows how the failed promise of Reconstruction resulted in capitalism running amok and a special kind of race-based tyranny.

Blogs like these are immensely helpful for people who love to read different books which include their summary plots, characters, themes, and a major part of a story. If you want to have more synopsis regarding your favorite books you can schedule a book club event on tinyti.me website, where you can organize book discussions, meet and greet different authors, or get regular updates about upcoming book events or holidays.

#books and reading #reading #love for books #book review

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ambriel-angstwitch · 1 year ago

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My Love is Sick through the lens of Merlin

My love is sick It leaks and bleeds All over me onto my nicest shirt

Merlin is so helplessly in love with Arthur that it spills over. He can’t help but show it.

Vines without roots Like knives in my body And I am their puppet Twisting ‘til I hurt

But Merlin is tied to destiny. He is its puppet. He hurts himself to save Arthur and yet he is told he cannot love him

My love is sick I’m running a fever so high I peel my skin to breathe

Merlin has to remove parts of himself like his magic in order to keep Arthur around.

Birds without cages Find perch on my ribs and I Stitch myself back up to keep them in

Merlin exposed nature draws people in. His clear devotion to Arthur convinced others to stay. Half of the knights joined because of Merlin.

You’re an infection I am keeping No matter the sepsis You are staying I’d rather the wound Than have you removed

A sepsis is a life threatening complication. Merlin knows that he could die protecting Arthur or even Artur might kill him if he found out about his magic. Merlin would rather die for Arthur than have to lose his love.

Enough rotting for two Killing me, keeping me high

Merlin risks his life enough for the both of them, he’d rather face all the death so Arthur had to face none. Though Arthur has the potential to kill him, he is also what fuels Merlin he is his purpose.

My love is sick It’s messy and wrong But I pray for a bit of contagion

They lived in a time where a gay relationship would have been considered wrong. But Merlin wanted them to be that way.

Hands without fingers Like spoons at the source Coat evenly Oh, won’t you touch me?

Without Arthur he feels like he doesn’t work like he used to like a hand without fingers. He needs Arthur to reciprocate.

You’re the cure You’re the curse You make it better You make it worse

Arthur cures the ache in his chest but he’s the one that put it there in the first place

You’re my killer And my Christ (But I’m the one twisting the knife)

Arthur would kill Merlin for what he is yet he is the one that Merlin serves, he’s Merlin’s everything. Yet Arthur isn’t the one that hurt Merlin. Merlin is the one that put himself in danger. Merlin is the one who caused destiny to go towards destruction even if he was just trying to fix it.

My love is sick. It’s taken me whole I’m simply a host to a haunting Ghosts without corpses Still linger in flesh Holding on to a love they keep wanting

Then Arthur is gone and Merlin is haunted. His friends bodies are long gone yet he holds the memories. He holds onto his love for Arthur just wanting him to come back.

#Spotify #bbc merlin #merlin bbc #merthur #merthur angst #merthur analysis #song analysis #song interpretation #merlin emrys #arthur pendragon #king arthur #bbc merthur #merlin x arthur #madds buckley #my love is sick

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geekthefreakout · 1 year ago

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Brilliant! Brilliant! Jason is impulsive when he’s scared is such a good reading on him.

I think it’s unfair to say that Jason doesn’t have anything of his own because he does, a lot of it just isn’t really interesting or the writing imo is not as good. Like his romantic relationships for better or for worse have included Artemis, Rose, Isabel, etc. The only romantic interest that was also Dick’s was Barbara (I’m not including Kory because in context that wasn’t what their dynamic really was) and Barbara he has explicitly showed interest in her twice (once with a phone call and the second time with a letter) and Dick doesn’t play a role in it either since the budding feelings develop on their own terms.

I think Jason should be able to have friendships that overlaps with Dick’s. He can have that friendship with Roy and Kory (even Donna) but I feel like as team they probably should have chosen different characters. I would have loved to have seen his friendship with Eddie Bloomberg and then Eddie’s romantic relationship with Rose Wilson. But I also feel like everyone wants something different out of Jason’s character so none of us will ever really be happy.

Personally I like when Jason doesn’t have some strange magic to him. He’s just some boy who was brought back with not even a scar on his body. Like that in itself there is a lot you can work with and is both a tragedy and a haunting. And also I think I prefer him more as a solo character with the community of Gotham being people he really interacts with. Jason really shouldn’t even have a uniform like his leather jacket look from the 3 jokers was probably the best look for him.

I also like when Jason is living in Dick’s shadow but not in the way most fandom portrays it because they did know of each other and briefly had interactions but I can’t see a version of Jason that comes back being very brotherly to Dick and I don’t really think Dick saw Jason when he was a kid as his brother but more as Bruce’s adopted son or kind of student.

And to be fair Jason grew up under Talia’s influence and the real Talia would have been a great influence for Jason to have. Talia lost a son in Damian and gained one in Jason while Bruce lost a son and gained a new one in Damian. And there’s also the fact that Jason would have trained with some of the best weapon users and teachers in the world. Like show me those knives skills! The hand to hand combat.

Idk Jason is such a sad character to me because he has so much potential and writers do nothing with it.

I feel you completely, Nonny.

I know the magic stuff isn't for everyone, I just get a kick out of it lol

I feel the same way about writers not doing the Good Shit with Jason a lot of the time. But that just makes those stories when we do get that good stuff that much sweeter!

#anon ask #jason todd

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ultrahpfan5blog · 1 year ago

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A Haunting in Venice - a strong third chapter in Branaugh's Poirot series....

As a massive Agatha Christie and Sherlock Holmes fan, I am a sucker for murder mysteries with brilliant detectives and a colorful group of suspects. Branaugh's Hercule Poirot movies were always something of interest to me as direct adaptations of books that I loved, while simultaneously Rian Johnson created two excellent examples of how to do it in Knives Out and Glass Onion. Branaugh's two adaptations felt a little ordinary in comparison despite Branaugh's excellent committed performance in the role. Perhaps the fact that I was intricately aware of both books and their resolutions and the movies largely sticking close to the book took some enjoyment out of the mystery. I did enjoy both Murder on the Orient Express and Death on the Nile but they weren't great. I expected more of the same in A Haunting in Venice, but it is a significant improvement as a movie. Not only is it a much darker and interesting mystery, the various characters feel a lot more fleshed out then they were in the previous 2 movies despite this film having a shorter run time. A lot of credit for the film also has to be given to the sense of atmosphere and setting. The film takes largely in dimly lit rooms, in the middle of a storm in Venice, in a seemingly haunted palazzo. Branaugh makes good use of the setting and there is an air of melancholy and grief that permeates through the movie which helps make the events of the movie feel more intense.

The film also tries to be a bit of a horror movie, with the story of the haunted Palazzo, the past history of death in the building, the sense that each character is haunted by ghosts of their past. I won't say its a particularly scary movie, because it isn't. It has a spooky aura about it and a few effective jump scare moments. But I like how the movie handled the idea of ghosts and the supernatural. It delivers a human explanation as well as a potential supernatural presence. Now its up to the audience to interpret it the way they want. I do think the exploration of personal demons was fairly effective among the characters. The reveal of the murderer is not that surprising after a reveal that is made some while before this. However, there are a couple of other twist reveals which did surprise me. Benefits of a movie made as an original story instead of from a book I have read before.

Another positive for me is that the film does ask for some deeper performance from its main actors. Its definitely Branaugh's best work in the role. He is unsettled and confused. You feel that he has seen a lot that he wishes to forget. He is a lot more serious than in the past two movies. Tina Fey in a period role takes a bit getting used to, but she provides the rare amount levity the film gets. Kelly Reilly is impressive as a grief driven mother, while Dornan and Jude Hill reunite with Branaugh as a father-son duo with past secrets. Dornan is very effective at delivering a broken man who is struggling to function as a person and as a father, while Hill delivers a strong turn as a kid who knows and understands more than he probably should. Michelle Yeoh as the psychic who claims to communicate with the dead is expectedly enigmatic. Kyle Allen, Camille Cottin, Emma Laird, Ali Khan, and Riccardo Scamarcio all add depth to their respective characters.

All in all, a really satisfying movie that deserves more credit then it seems to be getting. An 8/10.

#a haunting in venice #kenneth branagh #hercule poirot #tina fey #kelly reilly #jamie dornan #jude hill #camille cottin #kyle allen #riccardo scamarcio #emma laird #michelle yeoh #ali khan

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thoughtlessdesire · 3 months ago

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HELLO TRI STATE AREA

I'm participating in goretober this year! Specifically, this version made by Archivist-Kayl on deviantart! There are multiple versions out for this year, this one fit me the best.

So, why am I making an announcement? 2 things.

1. Audience. I just like to make things like drawing or writing challenges known in advance to the people who are here, even if those are very few people. Plus, this can get me back into the swing of engaging with people on this blog.

But the second, bigger announcement is:

2. Lost in Madness having an official start date! If you aren't aware, Lost in Madness is my fanganronpa-turned "book" that'll be releasing on A03. And that will be day 31 of Goretober for me, the "free day!" Lost in Madness' first chapter will release on October 31st. And I am doing this prompt for the month of October to promote that release. The first 16 days will each involve a different character from Lost in Madness, and the rest of the 14 days for art will be repeat characters that fit prompts.

Below the cut are my "concept ideas" for all the days. Basically, the characters and any content warnings that post will have. Obviously, gore and/or blood warning for all of them but specific triggers/squicks that are semi-common.

If you want to support this project, please follow and share around! And I may have a ko-fi in the works for these pieces if anyone shows interest in having them for themselves, cheap prices too.

Thank you so much for reading!

Day 1: Bandages(Trixik Osama)

CWs: eye gore, eye contact

Day 2: Claws/Hands(Glory Karo)

CWs: themes of sexual assault, light nudity

Day 3: Restrained(Lisa Anamor)

CWs: choking themes, paranoia, mental institutions

Day 4: Kintsugi(Leaf Asarabi)

CWs: medical malpractice

Day 5: Cuts(Alexandre Li)

CWs: self-harm, paranoia

Day 6: Stitches/Sewn(Jackie Haruki)

CWs: skin-pulling

Day 7: Monster/Cryptid(Navim Begam)

CWs: feral-based gore, animalistic possession??? I don't know how to trigger tag this one yet

Day 8: Werewolf(Cherise Emersyn)

CWs: same as day 7

Day 9: Weapons(Mekana Peni)

CWs: knives, self-harm

Day 10: Fight(Tohi Carimo)

CWs: "extreme" assassin behavior, potential light nudity

Day 11: Blood/Bleeding (Vedran Stanković)

CWs: death/murder

Day 12: Needles(Mirra Kagame)

CWs: medical malpractice, illegal experimentation

Day 13: Hunting/Hunted(Idalia Mac Óda)

CWs: paranoia, amputation

Day 14: Mechanical(Alice Hayes)

CWs: mechanical insides mixed with human guts I also don't know how to trigger tag

Day 15: Possession/Haunted(Ashlynn Anamor)

CWs: guilt/paranoia, choking themes

Day 16: Candy Gore(Kiran Abashi)

CWs: needles, bright colors

Day 17: Mutation/Extra Limbs(Glory Karo/Mirra Kagame)

CWs: experimentation, knives

Day 18: Throat Torn(Mirra Kagame/Glory Karo)

CWs: vomit, extreme violence, eye contact

Day 19: Cut in Pieces(Kiran Abashi)

CWs: amputation, medical malpractice

Day 20: Plant Growth(Cherise Emersyn)

CWs: hanahaki, guts

Day 21: Impaled(Navim Begam)

CWs: sharp objects(possibly involving needles), potential vomit warning

Day 22: Mutilation(Mirra Kagame/Glory Karo)

CWs: same as day 17 + vomit

Day 23: Torture(Alexandre Li)

CWs: paranoia, needles, medical malpractice, experimentation

Day 24: Crystal Growth(Idalia Mac Óda)

CWs:

Day 25: Guts(Tohi Carimo)

CWs: guts(obv.), knives, gunshot wounds

Day 26: Amputation(Leaf Asarabi)

CWs: broken limbs

Day 27: Cannibalism(Trixik Osama)

CWs: dead animals, eye contact, delusional themes

Day 28: Bones(Ashlynn Anamor)

CWs: crime scenes, rotting flesh, paranoia/panic attacks

Day 29: Insides(Alice Hayes)

CWs: crime scenes, guts, skin picking, rotting flesh

Day 31: Lost in Madness Chapter 1 Release

Day 30: Decay/Rotting(Lisa Anamor)

CWs: crime scenes, eye contact, rotting flesh

#goretober #goretober 2024 #thoughtlessdesire #danganronpa lost in madness #halloween #lost in madness #dead dove do not eat #dead dove #dead dove fic

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ihateoc · 10 months ago

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Knife Throwing

(word count: 1,276) (Shadow has a free day.)

For the first time in... well, ever, Shadow was left with nothing to do, no targets to stalk, nothing to steal, nobody to kill. Bennett wasn't home, he had left a few hours ago, telling Shadow he wouldn't be back until late and his sister was nowhere to be found.

After some sulking, he figures he'll take advantage of his free day, choosing to roam around the city. He's new here. He may as well get a feel for it, especially if he's going to be sticking around longer than expected. It also provides him with an excellent opportunity to look out for any potential threats against Bennett or Ren.

Old habits die hard.

As he walks down the bustling streets and alleys, he more often than not finds himself in dark corners rather instinctively, almost like a moth drawn towards darkness instead of light due to its comfort and familiarity. Exploring further, he comes across a flea market that's happening downtown.

The former mercenary's maroon eyes take in the chaos of the bustling area. The variety of items on display, from worn-out antiques to hand-crafted trinkets, brings a ghost of a smile onto his lips. There's an odd sense of comfort found amongst these second-hand goods.

His gaze catches something that strikes him, a little charm bracelet with tiny daggers hanging down as pendants. They almost look like Ren’s weapon of choice. He swiftly picks it up and inspects them closely. They do seem pretty similar. Without giving it much thought, he pays for it and stuffs it into his jacket pocket. Now, should he give them to her subtly or make some dramatic flourish out of nothing?

He walks ahead, stumbling across an old woman running a knife throwing stand. A pair of young boys are trying their luck at the moment and failing miserably. He scoffs. Amateurs. Before he can retreat, the elderly lady greets him.

"My, my, aren't you a handsome one?" She says with a gentle smile.

"Well, thank you, ma'am," Shadow returns the woman's smile with a devilish grin of his own, "Interesting game you've got here. Mind if I try?"

She gestures to the stand as if encouraging him, "Be my guest!"

He runs a hand through his black hair before standing in front of the knives. As he picks one of the sharp objects up and tests its balance in its hand, it brings back familiar feelings from an old life. Too long spent hurling these deadly instruments at innocent targets that too often had blurred faces. Shadow shakes off those memories and throws three quick knives into all bullseyes, earning a round of applause from several passing onlookers.

"Wow, you have some skill!" The woman remarks as she claps herself, seemingly impressed, "It seems like you do this often."

"Once upon a time, I did," The dark-haired man answers casually, flashing her another charming smirk. His eyes narrow as he adds in an elusive manner, "Throwing knives was all just part of the job."

There's a brief moment when his past life as a mercenary claws into his mind again. The countless lives he had to end and the bloodshed that still often haunts him. He considers how second nature these deadly skills came to him before quickly brushing off those dark memories with a shake of his head.

"My husband would have been really impressed by you. He used to run this stand," She begins, her smile shifting into something sadder, "He passed away a few months ago."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Shadow replies sincerely. Even though he's not particularly good with emotions, the woman's comment reminds him of losses he had frequently seen his victims endure. Losses caused by him.

He offers her a reassuring smile, a foreign facial expression for him, "I bet your husband was an amazing man and an expert at this game. This round goes out to him then."

Shadow takes one more knife into his hand and throws it, hitting straight on target again. The small crowd watching erupts with applause as Shadow raises his hands up as if saluting toward the sky.

When he turns around and takes notice of the audience watching him, impressed looks etched onto their various faces, he decides fuck it, why not show off a little bit more?

Feeling multiple eyes on him and the adrenaline rushing into his veins, Shadow's cocky confidence rises back to the surface. With an impish glint in his maroon eyes, he takes five blades this time, one held between each of his fingers.

"Watch closely now," He utters with a smirk as he throws them all at once.

Every single knife hits its target perfectly, creating an awe-inspiring display that nobody there had expected to see today. The spectators erupt into applause again while Shadow bows down exaggeratedly, allowing a hearty chuckle to escape his lips.

"You're very talented! What's your name young man?" The elderly woman prods him enthusiastically.

A pause follows her question as he contemplates his response. Should he simply give her an alias as he had so often done in the past when walking among normal society? Although aliases have always been part of his past life, something about this current state of honest existence pushes him to stick with the truth.

"Name's Shadow," He responds smoothly, shooting her an amused grin as if daring the old lady to challenge the oddity that was his chosen name.

It may spark curiosity or maybe even skepticism but it was what it was. He was nothing but a shadow, or at least he used to be. For years all he did was exactly what shadows do, follow wherever their host goes regardless of any consequences.

But being here now like this? It felt like finally coming home.

"Shadow?" She begins, leaving him worried she was about to question him about his identity. Instead, she introduces herself with a warm smile, "My name is Hildegard but everyone just calls me Grandma Hildy. I do hope you come by again and show me some more of your talent. I'm here every weekend! Perhaps we can even have lunch sometime."

Shadow's eyes widen slightly, surprised at the old woman's warm gesture and invitation. He hadn't anticipated such kindness from a stranger, especially one who had just lost her husband. A genuine smile tugs at his lips as he replies, "Grandma Hildy, it would be my absolute pleasure to show off for you again. And lunch? Well... I'd be honored."

The idea of sharing a meal with someone who radiates grandmotherly warmth is strangely comforting to him. As he bids farewell to Grandma Hildy and the onlookers with a wave and confident stride, Shadow can't help but think that maybe this city has some unexpected surprises in store for him after all.

As he walks away from the market, he shoves his hands into his pockets, touching the charm bracelet he had purchased earlier. Maybe it wasn’t about being hard or soft, maybe for once. It was about simply being human.

Human enough to enjoy throwing knives at a flea market. Human enough to accept an old woman's invitation for lunch and even more so, the feeling of warmth when someone else shows genuine kindness. And as much as these feelings were alien to him due to years of chaos, bloodshed and hiding in the shadows, it felt kind of good too.

A small content smile plays on his lips as he begins walking back towards Bennett’s apartment. He had been running on adrenaline and darkness his whole damn existence. It was about time he let some light in.

#OC #my ocs #my characters #my writing #oc: shadow #hunter x hunter oc #hxh oc

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zuzuelectricbugaloo · 7 days ago

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Definitely. It will be a long while before Killer and Cross can reach the level of camaraderie that the rest of the Crew share. Killer would especially be both envious and disdainful of Cross for his reminders of Chara (to Killer, given that Cross always has the heart locket on) and lost the tie his Chara had to his Soul (XChara no longer fused to Cross’s Soul).

Cross still has Determination, his Soul won’t ever be a truly normal monster’s Soul again, but at first glance it looks like a normal monster Soul. And Killer would both envy and scorn him for that, I think. Because by then, even though it’s a good ending, Killer has accepted that he’ll always be a blasphemous hybrid mutliating the laws of nature for both species.

Piteous of Cross, because Cross lost that connection to the Players (losing the ability to Reset or summon the special blades when he and XChara shared a body) and therefore lost his connection to divinity.

Yet also envious of Cross because Something New Chara is his abuser and they’ll forever be a visible stain on his Soul and a living phantom haunting his thoughts. Whether they’re there or not, they’re real to Killer. But Cross is a deceiver of what he truly is, and no one else who Cross doesn’t allow to get closer to him will know the truth that his monster Soul is a hybrid.

Killer’s Soul can never return to the sanctity of his body. Cross’s can.

Killer’s Determination and corroded insides from the Trait continuously leak or pour out his sockets and other orifices. Cross’s only leaks when emotionally unstable. Even then, his bones aren’t stained permanently in heavily concentrated areas like Killer’s is.

Cross is weak to Killer. He is a trained and dedicated soldier but he didn’t have to struggle or mutilate himself over and over and over again until he’d changed himself entirely to survive. Cross lets his anger overwhelm him and often acts on impulse instead of adapting to the situation and person(s) in that moment and reacting in whatever is the best way to survive.

Cross threatened the safety of the entire Multiverse, just like Killer, under Nightmare. Yet Cross was largely forgiven and even had several fans in the Omega Timeline while Killer is still greeted by scornful stares when his friends are unaware.

Although Cross had, unknowingly to Killer, believed he deserved help and the chance to change just as Cross had been given and had sided with Epic in helping Color have the means to reach out to Killer. Killer still perceives the Chromatic Crew at first as potential threats to himself or his friendship with Color and believes Cross is like Delta (in the beginning of Killed joining the friend group) and thinks Killer is a threat to Color’s well-being and the others’ safety. Especially given the past where Cross had temporarily joined the Stars and ripped off Killer’s entire forearm in one of many brutal fights they’ve engaged in. Cross has lethally hurt Killer in the past, and he’ll always be weary of the soldier in every interaction they have and never able to forget the pain and torment it had caused him.

(He’s comforted some and knows at least that Cross won’t try to steal Color from him due to the evident closeness Cross and Epic share as best friends. Killer desires that for himself and Color and uses their relationship as a reference when he struggles to understand or feel emotions when discerning what he wants from or feels for Color).

Someday, Killer will lesson his firm viewpoints on Cross and they’ll be real friends. Someday they’ll bond over the shared understanding of Determination forever changing their magic and the life-lasting impact of being a hybrid. Someday they’ll bond over special interests in blades and spar with each other using different knives or swords or whatever else they’d like to fight with that day. Someday they’ll bond over their love for their best friends, and can all hang out together and enjoy the mutual understanding of what it is to care for someone so deeply.

For now, Killer’s adjustment to the Chromatic Crew and clashing with Cross will be rough, and their dynamic is one founded on petty disputes and physical altercations.

But someday, they’ll be family.

I’d imagine cross and killer would have a lot of stuff to work through in a chromatic crew ending.

especially if cross seems to be adjusting better to this new environment, this freedom, than killer is—frequently acting as if they haven’t truly escaped, as if they aren’t really free, and talks about nightmare as if it wasn’t hell to be trapped beneath him. as if it really wasn’t that serious.

the things they did to others and with nightmare as if it wasn’t that big of a deal or anything to blink at. as if killer can’t understand or trust or allow himself to trust that they’re actually free and safe—or as if he doesn’t know what ‘free’ means anymore.

#chromatic crew #dt duo #stage 2!killer #killer sans stages #cw conditioning #something something killer struggles to feel free from the eyes that always watch him.#//dt duo hc #if there’s anything I excluded lmk please #or if there’s anything immaculate about this hc dynamic #cw referenced mutilation

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defiledtomb · 3 years ago

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FORUM POST || PLAY DEMO HERE || DISCORD || PATREON || NEW TUMBLR

Hunter, O’ Hunter, your undying body has experienced the seasons wither and flourish in endless perpetuity, the forest scattering its corpses at your feet. Rot to sapling to bloom to death. Through heartbreak and loss, bloodied knives and slaughtered hope, you have persevered.

Ouroboros is a science-fantasy interactive fiction that will take you on a journey filled with adventure, romance, and mystery. Set in a world where magic and technology collide, you will explore a solarpunk setting brimming with fantastical creatures and hidden secrets.

This is a story that will explore core themes of hope, redemption, and love, as well as the power of choice and consequence. You can confront your past and overcome your inner demons, but you are also faced with a crucial decision that will shape your future: to become a hero or a villain in the world of Ouro.

As you navigate this unfamiliar world through the eyes of the hunter, you must decide whether to embrace your darker impulses or to fight against them and forge a new path. The story highlights the potential for growth and change, even in the face of difficult circumstances, and emphasizes the importance of self-discovery and personal agency.

Through the hunters journey, the story examines universal experiences of trust, love, and connection, and shows that even in the most unexpected places, one can find the strength to start anew. Whether your hunter chooses to be a hero or a villain, the power of second chances offers a message of hope and possibility to both.

(As of 2023/02/17. Playable wordcount 80k excl code~)

Play as male, female or non-binary.

Play as Gay, Straight or Bisexual and romance accordingly.

1 Customizable (player-sexual) RO/friend(can still be romanced as friend), 4 player-sexual RO’s.

Extensive character creator; choose to be a rare human or between two fantasy-races, choose your origin and customize your body and looks.

Choose to fight for your retirement or go willingly

Choose how your past affects you: are you healing from trauma or still in it’s clutches?

You play as a retired hedgehunter who was forced to retire due to traumatic events. Living in isolation in a safe part of the forest, you are still haunted by the past. But when a letter arrives, summoning you back to your hometown of Riven, you are thrust back into a world of danger, excitement, and new discoveries.

Riven, a bustling city filled with techy gadgets and a robust community, was once protected by the defensive, organic wall that you helped build. But now, the city is facing new challenges, and you are asked to join a new expedition deep into the mythical forest, where reality warps the further you go.

As you embark on this journey, you will be forced to confront your past and overcome new obstacles that will test your trust in the people around you. The secrets of the Stila’s water will be revealed, and the future of Riven will be impacted. Will you be able to emerge as a hero once again and overcome the traumas of the past? Or will the mystery of the forest prove too much to handle? The choice is yours in Ouroboros.

IDREN // IDA (RO)

Your sworn enemy due to unfortunate events, but will they forever remain so?

The main tropes that can be explored with this route: Enemies to Lovers, Enemies to Friends to Lovers or Enemies to Even Worse Enemies And Not Lovers At All.

Idren/Ida is a mysterious figure made of mist and mischief, their vague humanoid shape taking shelter in armor as black as night, a plain mask covering the void of their face.

They blame their misfortune solely on you and are not afraid to show it. But as you join forces to embark on a dangerous journey together, the walls between you begin to crumble.

Will your tumultuous past prevent you from moving forward, or will you be able to overcome your differences and find love in each other’s arms? Will you be able to unlock the secrets of Idren/Ida’s past and build a future together, or will the void between you prove too vast to bridge? If you pick their route, there is a chance for an epic romance, where enemies can become lovers, even though the line between love and hate is razor-thin.

Auryn (RO)

This four-armed druna is a master of martial arts and a unapologetic flirt.

The main tropes that can be explored with this route: Friends to Lovers, Friends with Benefits to Lovers.

Auryn is a master of martial arts, with a confident and muscular build that exudes a strong sense of determination. They’re known for their unapologetic flirting and their love for pleasure, but beneath their playful exterior lies a person with hidden depths. As you get to know Auryn, maybe you too can’t help but be drawn to their kind and generous spirit.

Despite their hedonistic ways, Auryn is always there when you need them, willing to lend a helping hand or a sympathetic ear. As your friendship with Auryn deepens, you might start to sense that there could be something more between you. But there’s something holding them back, some unseen force that keeps them from fully committing to a relationship. Can you help Auryn overcome their past and learn to trust again?

Yor // Yana (RO)

The built-as-a-brick-house Commander of the Hedge is a force to be reckoned with.

Yor/Yana, also known as the Commander of the Hedge, is a seasoned and experienced leader. Despite their gruff exterior, this towering figure possesses a heart of gold that guides their actions and decisions. Their physical prowess and imposing presence command respect from all who cross their path.

As a highly respected leader, Yor/Yana is known for their unwavering dedication to their responsibilities and their team. Their stoic demeanor belies a deep commitment to their cause and a steadfast determination to see their mission through to its successful conclusion.

Sometimes emotionally distant and reserved, Yor/Yana can be hard to reach beyond surface level pleasantries. But nothing softens them up as much as honesty and genuine care, especially if you hold the same values regarding honor and duty. As you work together on missions and fight side by side, you will start to see a different side of the Commander. Perhaps there’s more to this gruff exterior than meets the eye.

The main tropes that can be explored with this route: Defrosting the Ice Queen, Fake Relationship/Arranged Marriage/Forced Proximity.

Sene // Selene (RO)

This frazzled and frankly mad scientist is passionate about the development of Riven and it’s many technological advances.

Sene/Selene is a brilliant scientist with a razor-sharp intellect and an obsessive drive for technological advancement. They have a commanding presence and a dismissive air that keeps most people at a distance. But for some reason, you alone are able to crack their tough exterior and connect with the romantic at their core.

As you work alongside Sene/Selene, you begin to uncover a hidden side to their character - a vulnerability that they have kept hidden from the rest of the world. Apart from their quick wit and sharp tongue, you will begin to realize that there’s more to them than just their passion for science, and their deep admiration of you as the person you once were. Will you be able to reciprocate their feelings, or will you be content to let them love you from afar?

The main tropes that can be explored with this route: They Loved You First, Master/Apprentice.

Leith/Custom is a ghost from your past that still haunts you. Once your closest confidant, they were lost to you on that fateful day when everything changed. In your heart, you know that they died, and that their death was your fault. But what if they were still alive? Could you find it in yourself to believe in their survival and forgive yourself for what happened?

Leith // Customizable (RO)

Your long lost friend/lover. How was the relationship between you, once before?

As you embark on your journey, clues begin to emerge that not everything is as you thought it were; as you dig deeper, you start to realize that there are forces at play that are far beyond your control. Can you unravel the mystery and find out the truth about what really happened to your friend/lover? And if they are still alive, can you find a way to bring them back into your life and reconcile with them? The answers to these questions may hold the key to your own personal redemption and the chance to finally move on from the past.

Many romance tropes have been omitted due to spoilers.

These are some things I’m excited about:

Bestiary and Lore Compendium for the statpage

Timeline for your hunter with choices you make for the statpage

Art and character portraits

Both smutty and asexual routes that aren’t just the ‘friend-route’ / where sexuality is discussed

A savesystem

Yes, a tumblr that is solely for Ouroboros. I’m working on it!

Update 0.1 [April '22]

Added new path and choices

Expanded on gender options and added neo-pronouns + a way to input your own pronouns

Added Character Creator to stat pages to allow for changing your appearance/gender/pronouns at any time

Added Unicode tone indicators for choices

Added more options for customizable RO (gender, appearance)

Added the ability to choose RO’s gender as you meet them

Update 1.0 [January '23]

Added two new chapters (1 full chapter, all paths + 1 incomplete chapter if you choose to deny alliance)

Added third and final path for the prologue

Fixed some errors in previous chapters

Fixed disclaimer and added some cover-art on dashingdon

I’m steadily making progress but I have to account for real life so I am not setting a deadline. However I am active on both the forum and on Tumblr so I will make sure to update anyone who is interested.

I will release a progress update at least quarterly, if not monthly, on both tumblr and the forum.

Finally, if you made it all the way down here, thank you so much for reading and I hope you try and like what I have so far! This story and these characters mean the world to me, so I’m hoping you’ll like them too. :>

Fare in good health, hunter. See you in the woods.

#interactive fiction #CYOA #choicescript #hosted games #hosted games wip #ouroboros-IF #oof ouch im going to bed now #anvil inspo #<- worldbuilding tag for ouroboros. just some inspo #interactive novel #tumblr keeps rearranging paragraphs for some reason so if it looks weird im sorry!

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zbeez-outlet · 2 years ago

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Part Three || Big Brother Diego

Five Hargreeves x OC | TUA Canon Universe | Slow Burn Relationship

Description || The story of how little Noa Lavigne went from dodging Diego's knives in target practice to sharing secret handshakes and spinning in the rain.

Content Warnings || allusions to Reginald Hargreeve's abuse, minor injuries, mentions of blood (If I missed anything, please let me know!)

<<< Part Two

Book Masterlist

Number 2 has a lot of feelings about being number 2. At the top of the list is the fact that being number 2 means he is not number 1, he will never be number 1, but he can be better than number 1 — well, maybe. Mom says he could be as long as he tries his hardest. So he does.

At the bottom of this so-called "Feelings About Being Number 2" list is the sentiment that at least he's not Number 7, who's small and powerless and left on the sidelines with a frown and a wish for more. Just above that is the even greater truth that being Number 8 would be worse. In many ways, Number 2 thinks Number 8 is more like a pet than a child or a sibling or a person.

Their official introduction happens thusly.

Dad hands him a knife and orders him to throw it at Number 8. The goal is to cut her. She stands ten meters away, small with her shoulders curved forward and her chin bent low, but for some reason he feels watched by her. Like behind the curtain of strawberry blonde curls is an eye that sees his every heartbeat and every impulse.

Part of him wants to cut her just to see if he can.

When Dad realized Number 2 needed an object to focus on to control his power and exceed his potential, early in the study of his abilities, he chose knives. Sharp, deadly, precise. He could use his manipulation of trajectory to maneuver the direction of the knives with unprecedented accuracy. Number 2 practiced on stationary targets until hitting a bullseye with his eyes closed became as easy as breathing. He graduated to the next step: moving targets.

The day Number 8 appeared on their doorstep, Number 2 didn't think much beyond the initial awe at her speed. There wasn't much more to think when you're only six and small and subject to the disciplines of everything bigger than you. They were all told to call her Number 8, so he does because he's Number 2 and clearly she's one of them now — except Dad makes her sleep in the attic and there's never a plate for her at the dinner table. He wonders about that now, thin slice of knife between his fingers and the orders of his father tensing between his shoulders. He wonders how she can be and not be one of them at the same time.

Disobeying is not an option.

It's actually fun, he realizes a few sessions of target practice later because catching Number 8 feels impossible and excitement simmers under his skin every time he gets close. The game changes from Number 2 chasing her around the room with blades and frustration to anticipating her next moves. To making plans and strategies and maneuvers he would never otherwise come up with. It's fun, it's new, it feels way more valuable than the thousands of pushups Number 1 must be doing. That thought keeps him proud.

The first time Number 2 cuts Number 8 is also the last.

It happens after he's been named Diego by Mom and Number 8 has become Noa to him in secret. It happens after hundreds and hundreds of hours of target practice. It happens because Dad wants to challenge her, not him.

She's being electrocuted the first time he cuts her. A tiny slice on the right side of her throat that bleeds and scars and haunts him every time he looks at it. Noa doesn't cry from the wound, but she does look at him differently afterwards, even if she doesn't mean to. Something like sadness, something like betrayal, something that tastes bitter every time he sees it flash in her eyes.

Diego never cuts her again because he never wants to. Not like he did at first, just to see if he could. Not even for Dad's approval.

Having a stutter makes Number 2 insecure in a way he's not prepared for — though, really, how does one prepare for insecurity at the age of seven? It forces him into a quiet that unsettles the person he wants to be, which is loud and proud and as confident in his words as every other part of himself. A leader.

He struggles with sharp consonants the most. The ones that are thin and shaped with steel, trapped aggressively behind his teeth and lips no matter how hard he pushes them with his tongue. It's the t's and the k's and the g's. It's the way r's struggle to ripple passed his throat and the vowels that draw on longer than he means for them to. Number 2 cannot control the flow of his words the same way he can control the trajectory of his knives.

Mom is patient. Mom is kind and sounds out the words for him, slow at first. They play games with letters and shapes, and she teaches him how to picture the words in his mind before saying them.

When he finds out Mom is teaching Number 8 English, his first thought is about how he can help. Because he knows what it means to silence yourself for fear of using the wrong words or ruining their sound or jumbling them up all over the place.

Number 2 likes the way French sounds the few times he's heard Number 8 speak, similar to the Spanish Dad has him practicing or the Italian Number 5 picks up with ease only with more floral notes and a sound that reminds him of Mom's perfume. It's round with vowels in a way English often isn't. It's lovely and soft and dances through the air with a warmth that isn't welcome within the walls of the Umbrella Academy. He wonders if she trips over the same consonants as him.

"Mom," he starts with a soft call, reaching for the billowy length of her skirt. He's nervous because sometimes acknowledging Number 8 feels blasphemous, like there's some unwritten rule of the house that her presence is as consequential as the paintings on the walls and to give her any more substance than that is punishable in their father's eye. "Can I help you teach Number 8 English? I can show her how to pic-pic-picture the words like you t-taught me."

Her palm rests on his head, gentle fingers running through the short cut of his hair and making him preen like a cat. She smiles with all of the softness he doesn't get in their world under the sunshine of a flashing monocle. "Of course, Number 2. I would love your help." She kneels down by his side, a thick leather book in her hand that she holds out to Number 2 like a special treasure. The leather is dark and latched with a metal clasp, a matching key attached to the pages by a string. "I got this for her so she can practice. Kind of like how you do in your head, but on paper. Would you like to give it to her for me?"

Number 2 nods so enthusiastically his neck hurts, and he follows behind Mom with an extra little skip to his step, the journal clutched to his chest. She leads him in a delicate stride up and up and up towards the attic, a bubble of anxiety threatening to pop in his throat. He's never been to the attic before.

Mom knocks with a rhythmic tap tap tap and calls for Number 8 with a tone so unlike the sweeping curve of breath she uses for his own number. None of the motherly affection he knows from her. It's not harsh or angry or berating, but stiff like metal. It leaves Number 2 confused and curious, wondering where all the warmth of the beating heart she doesn't have has gone. Number 8 peaks through the crack of the attic door, eyes flickering between him and Mom like she can't figure out how she's supposed to act, but she offers him a hesitant smile despite her wavering. He can't help but smile back, feeling crooked in his skin and fighting the impulse to pat her head like a puppy.

He holds out the leather journal like a peace offering, a treaty between two sides of the same coin. "To prac-practiccce..." he trails, frustrated with his words and his letters and his brain. "To practice! Your English."

The way Number 8 looks at the journal with a shine to her eyes makes him sad. She reaches forward like a frightened animal as if she's expecting him to retch the gift from her as soon as she touches it. Number 8 holds the journal like glass, waiting for it to shatter between her palms, and pride dances in Number 2's chest at being the one to put such a reverent look on her face.

"Numéro 2?" Her voice is small, and he wonders if it's impossible to put her in his pocket to keep her safe and happy and cozy at all times. "Voulez-vous me montrer, s'il vous plaît? Um..." she pauses, brow crinkling cutely as she tries to find the right words. Her feet shuffle and her shoulders curve further as insecurity presses onto her spine. Number 2 nods at her, encouraging her to pick and choose and ask him again. "Sh-show me? Please?"

When Number 2 smiles, it's with his entire face. All teeth and stretched cheeks and elation freckling his skin.

He grabs her hand, noticing but not commenting on the way she jumps at his touch, and drags her all the way to his room — the attic still scares him even if there's just a little girl behind the door. They settle on a blanket he tosses onto the floor, heads bent close together as he starts by talking her through the alphabet, which is largely the same and yet somehow totally different. He points to objects around his room and asks her to name them. If she gets it wrong, she writes it down with the corresponding French word so she knows to practice. If she gets it right, he gives into the urge of patting her head and beams at her answering smile.

When Number 8 smiles, really truly smiles with all the happiness she can muster, her cheeks dimple and her eyes scrunch and her tongue pokes from between her teeth.

He only sees that smile a handful of times throughout their childhood. The first time he sees it is also the first time he pats her head. Awe dances in his chest at the sight and suddenly all he wants is to protect that smile.

They are the exact same age, every child in the manor is, but he thinks this must be what it feels like to be a big brother. He rather likes it.

Diego comes up with the idea for a secret handshake on a whim of normalcy when they're barely eleven. His first attempt is with Klaus, unanimously dubbed the creative one among the children. It's an attempt that fails spectacularly with fumbled fingers and Klaus getting stuck in a roundabout interpretive dance, though Diego likely should have expected it to go that way what with his brother's recent discovery of weed.

He contemplates going to Ben next, as the only other sibling likely to indulge his newfound micro-obsession with handshakes and secrecy, but quickly decides to go to Noa instead when she simply walks by him in the hallway amidst his boredom. She's closer and most often compliant, and Diego prefers that over the tediousness of a few extra minutes of convincing Ben to do it with him. Besides, he rather likes her gentle company more than that of his uniquely deranged siblings.

Not to mention the silently massive 'fuck you!' it would be to Dad's rules piled between Noa and the rest of them. Another way to dig a little path of comradery to Noa, same as their English lessons and the stolen moments of head pats and tongue-in-teeth smiles.

She's following behind Five like she so often is these days, close enough that their linked pinkies go almost completely unnoticed but far enough so she can't be perceived as an equal beside him. It's cute in a weird complicated way he doesn't quite understand, not with the way Five's brutal demeaner clashes with Noa's jittery calmness, but they smile together and whisper and sometimes blush pink, so Diego decides not to dwell on it so much.

But it's been days since Diego's had some stolen time with Noa, so he decides pilfering her company for the early afternoon before she's relegated to the corner of the dining hall during dinner is his right.

"My turn with Noa, bye Five!" He gets out in a rush, the words smooth from practice and patience and Mom's smile. Snatching Noa's hand, the one decidedly not occupied by Five's pinky, Diego pulls her away in the wake of his brother's snarled curses with a devilish cackle.

Noa keeps up easily of course, her feet far more graceful than any other part of her, but she doesn't laugh like him because she doesn't know how — her smile is one in ten thousand jokes, her laugh is one in ten million tickles. Sometimes he wonders if he'll ever hear it. Sometimes he wonders if any of the others have. He knows she's not mad though, if the soft curve of her brow and gentle reciprocating clasp of his hand are anything to go by.

Diego drags her out to the courtyard. Dad rarely leaves his office when they're not training let alone ventures outside, so it's usually the safest spot to hang out with Noa without getting caught. He settles them under the cover of the largest tree in the yard, an aging oak that they're all convinced was there before the mansion was. Sitting cross-legged on the grass, he gestures for Noa to do the same with the kind of excited impatience only a child could have. She does, though she folds her legs delicately beneath her instead of crossing them because of the skirt of her uniform, and stares at him expectedly.

Her eyes swivel like she's checking for the weighty shine of a monocle before turning back to him with one of her more hesitant grins. "Hi Diego," she whispers like if she dares to speak any louder the world may crack beneath their feet. He has always loved the way their names slip from her accent in soft doting French sounds.

"Noa, I had a great idea!" He keeps his voice low despite the bubbles of anticipation dancing along his tongue, more for her comfort than any actual fear of reprimand he may have. "We should make a secret handshake!"

She tilts her head like the puppy he so often thinks of her as and furrows her brows. "A secret...what?"

"You know, a handshake. Like..." he trails, reaching for her hand. Even at eleven, his hands seem far larger than hers. He firmly grasps her fingers in his hold and shakes with a howdy-do nod of his head that leaves her cheeks pink and her green eyes shining. "Only, we'll make a special one that just the two of us know."

That very special tongue-in-teeth smile stretches her cheeks and when she nods, her curls bounce. Diego's chest puffs at the sight.

He doesn't count the minutes, but they stay out in the courtyard for a long time playing with their hands and coming up with different ways to link their fingers. They use their right hands even though Noa is left-handed. Eventually they come up with something simple enough to remember for a lifetime but complex enough that it takes a few tries to get it right. It goes like this.

Three taps to each other's palm and sliding back to clasp fingers in a claw-like gesture. Pressing thumbs together before unclasping their fingers and twisting clockwise to link their pinking, and then reversing that motion to smoothly clasp hands in a classic handshake form. They shake three more times before drawing back and forming small fists that they take turns tapping the tops and bottoms before ending in a classic bump of knuckles. With, of course, exaggerated explosive noises that Diego insisted on as the finisher.

Diego dissolves into giggles after every explosion, teetering in the grass and holding tight to his belly like he can trap the warmth of his mirth with his hands. He pats her head as a reward just like when she gets her English words right.

A water droplet splashes against his nose, startling him from their game. Diego looks up to the canopy of leaves beneath the shady oak tree and blinks, more droplets spattering across his cheeks and he grins.

It's raining.

Quickly pulling Noa to her feet, he dances them from under the cover of the tree and twirls her in the falling rain. He does their handshake again and goes spinning at the final explosion to dance in the growing puddles and dirty his shoes without a second thought. Noa stands more calmly on the edge of the rain, watching him with warm eyes but far less enthusiasm for the dancing, and that just won't do. He shimmies towards her, reaching and reaching and reaching as if he can pull the excitement and playfulness he knows hides beneath her skin from the tips of her fingers.

Her curls speckle with silver water and sparkle just like the day she found her way to their doorstep. He rocks Noa into his arms and shakes her to the rhythm of a song that's not playing and then sends her twirling with an encouraging thrust of his hands. And that's when he hears it, under the twinkling sound of rain.

Noa giggles. She giggles and laughs and spins without any care for the mud dirtying her stockings. It's breathy and soft, just like everything else about her, and sings with the same gentle harmony as her French and her lullabies. It wraps warm around his chest and pulls another laugh from the mirth hidden behind his ribs. It's a sound he wishes he could bottle and save for the darker days when none of them can find the strength to do more than blink.

A throat clears behind him. Noa's laughter stops. The world stills so suddenly even the rain seems to pause against the fight of gravity.

"Number 2," Dad's voice crawls along his spine and claws at his ears. "This behavior is unacceptable. Go change for supper, we'll discuss your punishment after."

Diego trembles, trying to meet Noa's eye, but she's already shut down. Now standing rigid with her hands clasped behind her back and her chin pressed painfully to her chest. He can see her shaking. If Diego were braver, he'd walk towards her and wrap her in his arms like the big brother he wants to be, whisper reassurances without stuttering and protect her, but instead his father's orders drag his feet back into the house, leaving her to his wrath. Dad doesn't follow him inside.

Mom is waiting with a towel and a clean uniform in her hands, smile bright and warm and everything he can't feel right now.

Dinner starts later than usual. Noa never takes her spot beside Mom and Pogo. Guilt floods his chest and his lungs and threatens to spill over his eyes. Her laugh echoes in his head until it sounds like a scream. Five asks where Noa is as the only one brave enough to do so. Dad reminds him that speaking is prohibited during dinner, leaving Five to simmer with a red rage and stab at his plate without eating any of it. He glares at Diego, at Dad, at his plate. He stares at the empty spot where Noa usually stands for a long long time.

It's three days before they see Noa again, quiet and small as she's always been. He can't see any marks of punishment, relief mingling with the guilt in his chest like oil.

He doesn't ask what happened to her the last three days. She doesn't tell him.

When Dad's not looking, Noa holds out her right hand. Diego's eyes go wide and with trembling motions, he taps against her palm three times. He almost cries when she whispers the quietest explosive noise to finish off the handshake.

When Noa and Five are gone, Diego grieves in the only way he knows how. Silently and with a weight hardening behind his ribs like a stone, a pressure that will never go away. His screams and cries are trapped under his skin, ready to burst as days without explosive handshakes or English lessons or impossible target practice turn into weeks, into months, into years.

Her journal is gone.

The attic is locked.

Dad hangs a painting of Five over the fireplace mantle. He wants to ask if Noa gets a painting, but knowing the answer keeps the question resting on his tongue, swallowed into the recesses of his throat.

The only proof that Noa existed at all is their memories. It's not enough, it'll never be enough. He turned out to be a pretty shitty big brother.

#five hargreeves #five hargreeves x oc #five hargreeves x reader #umbrella academy #five x oc #five x reader #tua oc #umbrella academy oc

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