#also the loving complaining about humans and how dumb they are but man they're also pretty great

[ani-coolgirl]

Man's Best Friends with Benefits (08x15) is hilarious and dumb right off the bat and I think it's great.

This is cheating because I've seen the episode before, but after James has his nightmare it cuts to him in bed... with his dog familiar... who can also appear as a human woman. But she sleeps in his bed as a dog. Which they're both okay with even though they're having intimate relations. Okay!!! Interesting dynamic!!!

Dean complaining about going out of their way to help someone who saved their life (apparently; happened off screen, it's real, shut up) is the funniest character growth of all time. Season!One Dean insisted they spend a week in prison for some guy that their dad knew, and now he's inconvenienced by someone they literally owe a life debt to. Amazing.

Sam immediately gets played by a dog doing nothing more than showing her belly. People shouldn't have this much trouble killing the Winchesters, send in a skinwalker and Sam would open the door to it right away and get his face bitten off.

Sam also immediately freaking out when Dean comes back with the food and the dog's in the room. What's Dean gonna do, idiot!! Ground you?? I love you.

Sam and Dean objectifying the dog woman giving them a dressing down two minutes after meeting her. What the actual hell. Dean, I can see it, but Sam, I'm surprised with you.

This is the first episode with good witches (though there's an argument to be made with Cordelia and Spike in Shut Up, Dr. Phil) and right away sets them up as a fancy-pants club with cool powers. The whole witch mythos really starts spiraling here because you can just, a) become a witch, or b) you sell your soul to become a witch, or c) are just naturally a witch which is different from being a psychic... somehow. It's such a mess. Also, this witch club is silly. How many goddamn witches are there in St. Louis that they need a whole-ass club?

The only people James have are the Winchesters? The fact that he's never been in any episode before this makes this whole exchange ridiculous. And kinda sad.

Portia storming away from an argument as a dog is great. I wish I could to that. I wish to be literally that bitchy.

Dean breaks out chains to keep James locked down. I know they have handcuffs! What the hell!!

"Witch killing spell," oh my gaaaawwwd, somebody shoot me. Witches aren't a different fucking species, somebody please explain who felt the need to write this into the lore! Chuck!! I see you!!

Aww, Dean can only trust himself which is a terrible decision.

Why would you choose Dean to go with you to the secret witch club? Ah, yes, so he can call a woman a pet and get a lecture about it so we can get more LOOOOOOOORE (/matpat voice)

You know, considering all the spellwork we see later on in the show, the idea that a witch controlling another via magic is basically unheard of is just silly.

Okay, we finally get to address the the elephant in the room--that a white guy "owns" a black woman that he's sleeping with, whom she calls "master." I just wish I could be a fly on the wall in that writer's room when that finally clicked. "You know, the optics on this aren't great." "Shit, you're right. What if... she chains him up while they're having sex. It's like symbolic of how their relationship is actually equal!" "BRILLIANT!" What a shit-show.

I love that the boys were just going to Molotov James in his bed. While he was awake. Amazing.

Dean awkwardly implying bestiality is great. Dean, they don't fuck when she's a dog, for crissakes. I mean, probably not.

WHY IS DEAN STILL THINKING ABOUT BESTIALITY?? Also, Dean asking a Black woman about her identity... stay classy, Dean.

Why is there a spell specifically for implanting images into a witch's mind? Why is it not for everyone? WHY ARE WITCHES JUST SUDDENLY A DIFFERENT SPECIES?!

But Sam is proud that Dean hasn't made an explicit bestiality joke. Fuck, my fic's gonna be about dog sex, isn't it? But I was saving that for Dog Dean Afternoon!

"What, like phone sex?" Dean. Dean. You're an idiot.

"He was always spineless. Now, literally." B-but there was a cracking sound effect when his neck broke... that very much implies the presence of a spine...

Evil guy chooses to torment the boys with images of the Cage for Sam and Mary dying and being in Hell for Dean. Those are some choices. I approve.

Actual biggest character growth in the series--Dean going from not liking dogs to owning a dog in the last episode.

"I saw Mom, when she died." Waitaminute. Dean never actually witnessed that. He was four and in the hallway. How was that in his head?

Sam coughing up blood at the end?? Like some frail Victorian maiden?? Right after Dean says he trusts him?? Beautiful, no notes.

Okay, look, this episode is certainly... flawed. But I honestly think James & Portia would have made much better spin-off material than that stupid Bloodlines crap they tried to sell us next season. Think about it. You get the forbidden love angle without the tired Romeo and Juliet crap Bloodlines was going for, and James is a cop so you could have them start up a supernatural detective agency or something, which would be a much better way to expand on witch and monster lore without being restricted to the five family politics. Would it be a good show? Probably not, but it's not like Bloodlines was going to be high art either, and at least James & Portia wouldn't have committed the crime of trying to pitch a show that basically already existed on the network (The Originals).

[gyllenhaalstories]

Laurie!! 💛 (sorry, I just live in your inbox now 💖)

I'm back on duty and I'm here to tickle the collective fandom brain.

With Presumed Innocent coming out soon (aaaah), I would just like to hear all your thoughts on Rusty. 

Is he guilty? If so, would we still do unholy things with him (duh, obviously)? Or is he just an innocent little guy and only guilty of cheating and murdering pussy? He obviously likes being choked and I'm not complaining. What else might he like? Is he a pancakes or bacon/scrambled egg breakfast kinda guy? He does need his protein tho, for several reasons... 👀

Please let me/us know all your thoughts and hopes for the new show and the character we're blessed with this summer, thank youuuu.

Paying my Rusty tax for inspiration ✨ (again)

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! 💖 it's so good to see you in my asks again, daphne! thank you for the rusty tax (and the painful reminder that i wish this was ME) and the great questions! i've thought about that man A LOT but the majority of those thoughts are just about how badly i need him so... they're not too constructive... let's see what my -1 brain cell comes up with pretty much on the spot! 🤭

i don't think he's guilty. since the first teaser, i just had the feeling that he's innocent and his wife killed carolyn. clearly he has a talent for lying and manipulating facts (isn't it essentially his job?), he even lied to his therapist in one of the recent clips i saw! trying to lie to the human equivalent of a lie detector is both bold and dumb. he's clearly not completely innocent. cheating on your wife is bad but when your wife is ruth negga it's DOUBLE bad! i watched a quick interview of the woman who plays carolyn and oof. renate has something special. so i kind of get it <3 but i am better than a man and i would not ruin my marriage! the text messages and calls he's sending her are also very bold and dumb. he should know better than anyone how to avoid looking guilty. the dna, the messages, the stalking, the affair that was not so hidden since they were going out together and everything, this is just so stupid! he'd probably be so mad if he defended a client who basically did everything he shouldn't do and now tries to plead for innocence. i'm interested to see if we get an insight on how an attorney of his prestige and of his rank can turn into the most stupid person you've ever met. i mean, we know how, he's desperate to get his dick wet. but still, maybe there's more to it. maybe carolyn isn't that sweet, smart, picture perfect girl either. i'm giving her the side eye too.

i'm soooo excited for the show!!! my only point of reference is defending jacob so i like to compare both series. defending jacob had some really good twists so i expect the same from presumed innocent. in my opinion, one of the most powerful plot twists in defending jacob included the mother, laurie (i can still hear chris evans saying i love you laurie it was an amazing moment <3). so maybe that's why i focused on barbara sabich right away. i don't know, i'm so curious to see. i want to watch the original movie after the series, just to compare as well. i might never do it but at least i'm planning on it! anyway. can we just take a moment to appreciate how crazy it is to have this kind of show as your first television project? jake really popped off with this and his acting is absolutely insane in what we've seen so far! everyone in the cast seems solid. i'm guessing they showed most of the freaky sexy scenes in the trailers already to tease the audience, but i'm curious to know if there is more of that good stuff that they're hiding! i'm also looking forward to watch jake and peter saarsgard on screen again! and the glasses. i can't word vomit all of this and not bring up the glasses. now that we know jake is practically legally blind, i proclaim myself the protector of his corneas and i demand that he wears glasses more often. my motivation is purely selfless and it's not because i fold like a folding chair at the sight of jake with glasses (vision pun intended).

i saved the best stuff for last apparently! but mmm. what is that man into? i can't cook to save my life so he's eating cereals for breakfast. i'm kidding! (well not really but still). we know he's into choking, finger sucking, doggy style, public sex/sneaking away in a public setting, he loves the thrill of forbidden things and we see how touchy he is with carolyn so i'm guessing he's into marking because it's like a proof of something that is happening in secret of others? idk, just thinking. i don't know if his stalking habits fall into kinky or just regular obsession over the one thing he can't have under his total control, but i'd lowkey like it if he extended his stalking with some spicy elements. the way he holds on to carolyn, touches her everywhere, it's giving possessive and i love it. the ring though. oh the ring. why doesn't he take it off? does carolyn like it, does she get off knowing she has a taken man under her spell, that this greek god of a man prefers her to his wife? does rusty like the reminder of his cheating? does he like the self-inflicted guilt and pain of being reminded of his horrible and immoral actions? i think there's definitely some masochist tendencies in him. he's so quick to apologize for everything like oh no i might have killed a woman but i'm sorry tho </3 he might loooove the fake pity and fake apologies. whether he uses this tactic or if it's used on him does not really matter. to put it briefly: rusty is a FREAK and i want to be the somebody who matches his freak!

thank you for doing this, daphne! it was so fun to ramble pure nonsense fuelled by the sad 2 hours of sleep i've gotten last night 😭 i can't wait to read this tomorrow and be weirded out by how little sense it makes. i especially can't wait to read this after watching the entire series and seeing how wrongggg i was. it will be just as much fun as writing all of this! mwah mwah ily! 💖💖💖

[beevean]

Wow. I just realized something.

You know that I always complain about the fact that Lenore never showed any remorse for lying to Hector and betraying him? That for all her showing that she cares for his safety, she never even attempted to apologize, and doubled down when she could have done so?

Well. You know who felt bad about treating Hector badly?

I hate this scene. I would be okay with Dracula and Isaac 69ing sloppy style because they're such besties, but the fact that they sit around to shit on Hector for no good reason makes them look both disrespectful and profoundly incompetent - hey asshole, why did you hire "a child in a man's body" that at this point is more of a liability in your court? No I won't let it go, it's stupid and you deserved to be betrayed!

And yet. Despite Dracula placing part of the blame on Hector, because "he's easy to lie to", and despite Isaac rushing to comfort his babyboy bestie that no one deserves the truth from him... he says that it's partly his fault. He did lie to him in the first place. He's the reason Hector doesn't fully understand the scale of Dracula's plan. He's the reason Hector is distancing himself from his Lord. He seems to, if not regret it, at least understand that it was a dumb move that is costing him the loyalty of one of his Generals, unlike Lenore who apparently never considers that her ring was an utter failure and she broke Hector's trust for nothing. Sure Drac also does jack and shit to fix this mistake (having a 1:1 conversation with his General and pulling him away from Carmilla's influence? nahhh he's too depressed), but hey, baby steps, right?

Dracula, the monster currently deadset on destroying mankind and letting vampirekind die a slow death, has more decency than the supposed "good" vampire who supposedly fell in love with Hector and supposedly killed herself out of guilt because she's so ~human~ (read: good) deep down. And if we want to play the game of "oh but she improved Hector's life conditions, she abused him for his own good", yeah guess who did the same without needing to trap him in the castle? How come I never hear the argument that Dracula lied to Hector for his own good, to allow him to live a luxurious life as a General? Is he not hot enough?

i can't believe n!hecula is a healthier ship than lenector lol and lmao - add to this how hector shows more concern for his dishonest murderous lord than the woman who is supposedly the kindest person in his life, to the point of ruining her life and driving her to suicide for the sake of bringing him back to atone for his betrayal, and i am cackling like a seal

[alvaeris]

Hm, I didn’t think about the heart thing that way. You’re right, though; it wouldn’t be as special! I change my stance and agree with the living just long enough to give it to you. Ehehe, I could actually be your doll that way! You should throw tea parties with my corpse. I think that would be very fun. I wanna have a tea party with you!! We’d get all dressed up… and I could bake stuff for it, and we’d also have to pick a reallyyy pretty spot. We would have the bestest tea party ever. OH, that reminds me of our Minecraft world plans. I’m gonna make us a pretty picnic area (๑>◡<๑) 

AW, am I really on your mind that much?? It surprises me often how much you like me. I hope that I can convey that I care about you just as much. You’re so sweet, and I really cherish you. I always look forward to talking to you whenever I wake up; it’s one of my favorite parts of the day. I love getting notifications from you. Ahah, it’s so weird to think that we met because you started going on anon for me… and now I’m the one who’s on anon for you!

Anyways, got off topic there; back to the sleep thing. Who would steal me away in my sleep? Knife man? He showed up one time, and I do not think he’s coming back… even if I really want him to </3. You have shown up more than knife man in my dreams. I do wanna get rid of the evil sleep fairies job!! Sleeping is just as evil as them, and it should stop existing. It is dumb that we have to sleep so we aren’t tired, because I could be spending all that time with you instead if sleep wasn’t needed… smh!!

- Doll

ADHJDJDGF,, i'd stitch you up after taking your heart, don't worry! i want my doll to look perfect, and while i admire the symbolism of a gaping hole in your chest, it's only proper for a doll to look put-together! I LOVE THE IDEA OF TEA PARTIES. i'd feed you biscuits and jam and sip tea out of fancy teacups. we'd wear fitting outfits for every occasion! you'd be my pretty doll-prince. ruffled shirts all the time. i really love ruffled shirts, and they'd look so good on you! we'd bake cupcakes together. and apple crumble. and strawberry macarons. i love baking! i made chocolate cake yesterday. we'd go out somewhere nice, with lots of grass and flowers! and then we'd lay on the ground together and point out the shapes in the clouds. we'd better have a pretty picnic spot in our world!! i want lots of poppies there, i love poppies. what are your favourite flowers? we'll needs lots of those too!

AND YES!! i really do think of you that much. grr, my goal is to show my love for you so much that you just have to accept it as normal and won't be surprised anymore! you're a really important part of my day too. and awww, thank you!! i love talking to you first thing in the morning! it's only fitting that you be the at the front of my mind when i go to sleep and when i wake up. dolls need lots of love, care and attention, after all! i can't be neglecting you. i'd be a bad owner then! also YEAHH, i think about that a lot 😭😭 like. what if i'd just stayed as a stalker and never talked to you. then we'd have never met and become such good friends. and you wouldn't be my doll. and i wouldn't be obsessed with idv now. it's kinda crazy how much you've impacted my life since i've met you. not that i'm complaining, of course! i love having you by my side, and being at yours. i just wish i had gone anon for you earlier!

grgrgr, you need to stop falling in love with people who threaten you with knives in your sleep!! it only happened once, but still. knife man, i'm giving you an ultimatum!! either come to my dreams instead or go away forever. i'm clearly referring to the evil sleep fairies, though! they're evil, after all. they would want to steal you away, because that's an evil thing to do! they can't deny their nature. and hmm, getting rid of sleep would only be a good thing if we also get rid of tiredness. like where's the wireless charging update for humans.... at least improve battery life! i do want to spend all that time with you!

[stobinesque]

plinth

a quick end-of-S3 thing that came to me and would not leave because I can't get the image of Robin and Max sitting on the same stretcher post-starcourt out of my head. —polished version now up on ao3 | 1k

Monsters are real, there are were Russians hiding beneath the (now smoldering remains of) her summer job, and Robin is sitting on a stretcher next to a teenager who just watched her step brother get torn to shreds by a spider-creature made of human flesh.

Robin doesn't know where to slot any of these facts into her understanding of the universe.

Other currently-uncategorized facts of the universe (in no particular order):

Robin will throw herself into danger if a child's life is at risk 

This is a helpful fact to know, considering she will also throw a kid into danger provided she is A) bored and B) does not have an accurate sense of the relative stakes of a situation 

A bunch of kids have been fighting the previously mentioned monsters for nearly 3 years now

Chief Hopper knows that there are monsters in Hawkins 

The smell of burning human flesh is a scent so incomparable as to defy description in any of the four languages she knows 

Steve Harrington is a genuinely good person who doesn't care if she is a lesbian likes girls

That last one in particular has been tripping her up for a while. She thinks there's a part of her still stuck on the bathroom floor. Held in stasis in that perfect moment of pure fear.

(Yet another part is still stuck underground, tied to the man she will later face with dread of him seeing all of who she is.)

Whichever part of her is sitting on the stretcher next to the child who just watched her brother die thinks she should say something.

"You get used to it."

Apparently the child has beaten her to the punch. 

"Get used to what?” Her voice hurts. She's spent too much of the last 24 (36? 48?) hours screaming; swallowed down so much smoke and ash that her throat is thick with sludge, and her tongue heavy in her mouth.

"Monsters." The kid's voice is flat, no nonsense.

"Do you?" Robin's not sure she believes this kid. Robin should probably learn her name.

The kid shrugs. "No. But it's a nice platitude, right?"

"What's your name?"

The kid's face scrunches up for a moment, but Robin doesn't know what it's supposed to mean. "Max."

"Hey, Max. I'm Robin." She just manages to hold herself back from sticking out a hand like they're at the start of a job interview.

Still, Max stares at her for what Robin thinks is probably a couple beats too long. "I know," she says. And there's some kind of inflection there, but Robin can't pin it down. "You've still got your name badge on." Max reaches over to flick the small plastic rectangle affixed to her chest. "Plus, Steve talks about you all the time."

Robin folds her legs up onto the stretcher, so that her knees are tucked under her chin and she's turtling beneath the shock blanket. "He does?” What does he say? (Did he say?) Does he complain about her? Talk about how annoying she is? "What does he say?"

Max shrugs. "He says you're a dork, but he means that he loves spending time with you."

How can she know that? "How can you know that?"

Max rolls her eyes. "Because all of us are dorks—okay, well, I'm not—” Robin thinks that probably people who feel the need to specify that they themselves are not dorks are probably pretty dorky. "—and he loves all of us. I think he has a type."

"Is Nancy Wheeler a dork?"

Max blinks. "I don't think I've seen him talk to Nancy for longer than 5 seconds."

Robin squints, and adds that to her list of uncategorized facts. 

"Are you okay?" That's something Robin should ask right now, right? Except, fuck, that was probably a dumb thing to ask. "Fuck, that was a dumb thing to ask."

"Yeah," Max says, looking down at her shoes. "This was all new to me too, last year. Like, the rest of the group, they'd already gone through it once before and then I just got thrown in and I had…no idea what was happening."

Robin picks at the rubber of her shoes. 

"It's…really scary," Max says, trailing off with a frown into the middle distance.

Robin nods. She wants to say something. She wants to try to comfort Max in the way that she's pretty sure Max is trying to comfort her, but she's scared to say something that will make it worse. 

"Do you like hugs?” Robin is ambivalent about them most of the time, but that's a good nonverbal option for providing comfort, right?

"No." 

So Robin doesn't move. 

But a moment later, she glances down in surprise when a soft weight lands on her shoulder. Max is leaning her weight into Robin's side, and rests her head on Robin's shoulder.

"Oh."

"Shut up."

Robin wraps an arm around the kid, and her heart lurches in her chest. She thinks maybe she understands the bright smile on Steve's face from whenever any of the children walked into Scoops. (She saw it, even though he tried to hide it. For some reason Steve Harrington has always been the one person she could read—when she cared to really look at what she was seeing, at least.)

The lights from the emergency vehicles continue flickering red, blue and purple around them. Men rush from one point to another, constantly moving, ceaselessly fixing. Robin feels like a large stone in a river—the rapids rushing all around her as she sits steadfast in place. If she holds still enough she can be stable enough for two. Robin darts her eyes around the lot and catches sight of Steve. She remembers Dustin and Erica up on Weathertop. 

Maybe she can be sturdy enough for four.

Her eyes dart around and catch on each of the kids huddled into the back of transport vehicles. She doesn't really know anyone else's name yet, but as she lets her gaze linger on each one, she finds that number expanding.

For now though, she can sit in the eye of the storm with Max.

[lesbianwyllravengard]

the ask you sent was so fun so you KNOW i gotta send one back

it's been a while since i was into dbh, but i remember seeing alice n kara and loving them both. do you have any thoughts on them? it can be either of them individually, their relationship, or just how they're treated in the fandom

ok ok thank you bye !!

Oh my GODDDD YES. THANK YOU😭

Kara is my absolute favourite character. No one does it like her. She's just incredible, plus Valorie is insanely talented and she outperformed, making Kara more loveable.

Kara and Alice's storyline is not my favourite to play but it is my favourite as a whole, because of the found family element. That shit's my favourite. I hate d*vid c*ge, I despise how he shoved Kara into a stereotypical Mother role just because she's the only playable woman, ESPECIALLY since this game is only possible because of her. I hate how he used domestic abuse to make her storyline more "thriller" (because the only way he can imagine women feeling fear is if a man is beating them), and I hate how she is the only one who can die so early on and has less chapters than the other two male leads. But, I love Kara tremendously and her story is like a breath of fresh air from Connor's, and a relief when Markus's stresses me out lol.

I really disliked the "Alice is an android" plottwist. Not only was it dumb and predictable, but the way it was handled was sooooo lame and insulting to Kara's character. "she just chose not to remember" because they couldn't reveal it to the audience too soon. Like what kinda explanation is that. There's just so many inconsistencies the "plottwist" created in the story. And it felt entirely tasteless considering Kara was meant to be a bridge between androids and humanity, being an android who so deeply cares for and loves a human child enough to take care of her at any cost. That meaningfulness dies as soon as Alice is no longer human.

But I will defend Alice any time. I do love her. So much of this fandom complains about her being a numb child which is INSANE to me because we all saw her being abused by Todd. Like ffs. Complaining about her "I'm cold", she's a goddamn kid and she's cold, you want her to suck it up? After everything she's been through? God.

Also I'd argue, and have argued before, that Kara is the closest example we have to how a hypothetical ai gaining sentience and emotions would look. Again it's entirely theoretical and not possible in real life, but we actively see her gaining true emotion, we see how she rewrites her programming to suit her, and I wish we had more of it in the game. She's the only character whose emotional responses can be irrational, and therefore are genuine emotional responses. She even says, regarding Alice, "I can't be happy if she's not". That's not rational at all, but it IS a very common emotional response to caring about someone. We know she genuinely cares for Alice because of this. Kara is a beautiful character and I fucking wish the fandom acknowledged her more.

I could rant for days on how they're both mistreated by the fandom but I won't right now. They're both girls, I'm sure you can imagine what they go through at the hands of the fandom and how utterly undeserved and misogynistic it all is.

Ultimately when I ignore the context of the director and writer I am able to fully enjoy their story and their characters. But as soon as I think about DC I fume lol. As is MOST if not ALL things in this game. I honestly feel the only thing I truly enjoy about the game is the characters, and Kara and Alice are great characters. Well written despite the game's overall writing flaws, and very easy to love and understand. I love how passionate and stubborn and caring Kara is. I love how wonderful and loving and compassionate Alice is. I love and miss them both so much

[ragnarssons]

getting tired of bred-on-blockbusters americans complaining about movies being too long. "oh i coulda cut out at least one hour of the movie" bitch where? editing is a well-thought craft, just as much as screenplaying, directing, etc etc. the pretty scenes y'all see and feel are "too long" do serve a purpose ffs.

you know what was too long? the osage being murdered for months without any authority doing anything about it. yeah, sure, that woman (mollie)'s painful agony at the hands of her husband and the father of her children was "too long": guess what? it was long for her to experience too! and at no point does her poow wittle dumb ass husband let morality or love or compassion catch up to him! that's the point! the corruption plaguing our countries because of capitalism. colonialism stripping away these people of their culture, traditions, identity, happiness, community and even names ffs. that was "too long" for the natives to experience as well. yes it is important to focus for 20 minutes on that osage man feeling "melancholic" because he's been stripped from everything he loved about his culture and people. yes it is important to show y'all how anna, mollie's sister, was pushed to become a drunk and abused by white men in her life - even after her death. yes, it is important to show you how much you have to dehumanize a person to the point of seeing their body being torn to shreds by bombs you've planted and not feeling you're the worst living being on this earth (wink wink zionists). yes it is also important to portray how even the "nice white guys" are just racist but just mildly hey at least they're not murdering you, yknow *shrugs*. yes it is important to portray how greed just eats people away and exposes the worst of human kind. if anything the movie spent too much time trying to make you feel sorry for loser ernest played by dicaprio, fuck that man.

i literally cannot for the life of me understand how anyone can have the indecency to say "oh it's too long and boriiing" about fcking movies portraying real-life horrible and unjust events where justice has never been served. americans having to sit their asses for 3 hours and 30 minutes to actually see a portrayal of something THEIR OWN greed, colonialism and capitalism created is the bare minimum y'all can give back to these people. and then some more.

[doueverwonder]

This is going to be SO disorganized, ignore me and my rambles no order just everything in whatever order I think of it in.

TEXAS his name is Lázaro Carlos Jones-Gómez, he regularly goes by Charlie, you can call him Carlos but do not call him Lazaro, he only has that name bc he was baptized with it. If you call him that though you will get his attention immediately bc his brain will think you're his mother (Mex if that's not clear) cause she is the only one who calls him that.

He's a little shit and I love him bc he's my little shit.

I accept no interpretation of him that's white bc why would you do that to him.

I've said this before but he's twins with Coahuila (Mariana Talía) who I can't actually talk about that much bc she's not my oc BUT she is older by 7 minutes, and they share a braincell and a half and usually don’t know where it is :\

speaking of other states he and Nuevo León (Jacobo) get in no less then 3 fist fights a year for absolutely no reason besides they’re idiots and like to beat each other up.

Speaking of fights, Charlie is missing a tooth, has 101 stories of how it got knocked out, most ppl don’t actually know which one is the truth (none of them he fell out of a tree).

Someone take his guitar away I beg, he gets 10 time more annoying when he has it. Which Tennessee (Annabelle) taught him how to play said guitar, everyone hates her for it. He's a decent player, and has a pretty okay singing voice, they're all just sick of listening to him.

Bc I have to have at least 1 very stereotypical thing, he has the largest cowboy hat collection this side of the Mississippi. Give him the most specific event, he has a hat for it.

He didn't talk till he was like 3-4 but oh boy is my man making up for it now, he doesn't stop. Talks with food in his mouth and in his sleep.

Refuses to speak Spanish to most other personifications bc spite but will absolutely be interpreter for any stranger on the street who needs help.

Bc I think it's funny gets to have the 'am I catholic or protestant?' debate.

His first about year of living in DC he barely spoke English and bc of that attached himself to the--at the time--only other native Spanish speaker in the house, Florida complained to Al everyday bc "I'm a babysitter now!" but wouldn't say shit to her Carlito over it ever.

His favorite shows of all time--despite their inaccuracies--are Gunsmoke (1955-75), and Zorro (1957-59)

Speaking of nicknames; Carlito was his main nickname for a long time, used to distinguish him from Cuba. Most of Latin America + Florida still call him that. Carlos = Cuba//Carlito = Texas. He started going by Charlie bc he didn't want to be called Carlito anymore, but being called Carlos felt weird bc no one ever called him that. So Charlie.

He has vitiligo bc I once saw a drawing of someones oc and it legit looked just like how I imagine Charlie and their oc had vitiligo so it just got pressed into my mind.

Also he was one of those kids who was super blond but by the time he was like 12 he wasn't anymore.

So y'all know my hc is personifications have a mom and dad, most of the states (US and Mexican) had 2 human parents and were eventually 'adopted' by Alfred or Rosa.

There are exceptions to that and Coahuila and Texas are one of them, way back when like 1820s Rosa (Mex) and Alfred were dumb and did a thing proceeded to have an extremely panicked nine months and an even more panicked "holy shit there's TWO"

So Charlie gets such a super fun family dynamic we love it for him.

I can't listen to Mama's Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys without crying now bc of him. I love Charlie, he is my son, I've put so much work into him bc I love him.

[depressedcatgirl]

ok so its not purely due to how the fandom portrays them as i kinda hate what hoyoverse is doing with her. Hoyoverse you've already done the whole "100+ year old human in the body of a cute tsundere-ish anime girl" trope already, it's getting kind of old (no pun intended). I really hate how they're marketing her and giving her fanservice and how they're trying so so hard to ship her with the male mc...it's sort of like the hsr firefly situation again but at least i liked her as a character so it was almost bearable. The thing is that i wouldn't really be complaining about it if they gave the same treatment to the male characters and if the fandom would just shut up about her and her "haters". It's very obvious that hoyoverse has given up on trying to appeal to its female/gay audience and is now solely trying to appeal to the waifu gacha crowd.

But man...i fucking hate how the fandom is talking about this character and 70% of my hate for this characters comes down to unfunny memes posted about her and memes complaining about the people that dont like this character. I really hate the whole "i love old hags" thing when it comes to memes related to her...no you dont like old hags you just like cute anime girls who say they are 100+. Then there are the "memes" complaining about people who dont like her...pretending as if hoyoverse aren't trying to push her to be shipped with male mc. And then there are the people who are making fun of people who say she is "goonerbait"...i really do hate that word but for once i do have to agree with them...she is ""goonerbait"" in the sense that she ticks off all the boxes to be the next gacha waifu of the week and hoyoverse knows this. And then there are the people that claim that people are saying that she is "lolibait"...who tf is saying shes "lolibait"??? was it like one unhinged person on twitter or tiktok saying this so now you think that half of the fandom is saying it? its dumb but also you are not controversial for liking an adult anime girl who is clearly meant to be simped for. I know ppl have really dumb takes in this fandom but youve got to realize they are in the minority right?

so anyway tldr: i dont hate many characters but she is an exception apparently, mostly due to how the straight male fandom portrays her. Honestly she's taken the spot away from other characters i've disliked in the past for similar reasons like raiden, firefly, and lingsha. I think natlan is kinda bad or mid at best (at least its better than inazuma lol). It sucks going from sumeru and fontaine to whatever this is. I don't know if or when i will return to genshin because if i wanna play the new story in 6.0 i'll be forced to play through natlan...

also i really should've unsubscibed from r/genshinmemepact because holy fuck the memes there are so unfunny its insane. 50% of the memes i see is just complaining about twitter ppl disguised as a meme...the other 50% is just reposted videos and comics, horny art posted as a meme, and old memes from years ago that someone reposted. Honestly should probably not use reddit in general if im being honest. I literally dont know why i made an account years ago but its just one of those things i impulsively check on every hour like tumblr...I'm just lucky i never liked twitter enough to do it with that...at least not anymore.

new hoyoverse character i hate almost exclusively due to how the fandom portrays them just dropped

[fira211]

I don't know how it would work, I don't know where the idea came from. But I'm rereading the Abhorsen series and I had a rare pair thought:

Disreputable Dog/Mogget enemies to friends to lovers (though almost certainly ace rep or something mystic like Good Omens angel/demon feelings sex and not bodily sex [not that GO body sex fic isn't also delightful but I digress])

Also, Good Omens/Old Kingdom crossover in general but I would love for Aziraphele and Mogget to be friends (library cat) and Crowley and the Dog to be friends (chaos twins)

[neil-neil-orange-peel]

Hehe Vyvyan for the honest opinion game

- GirlOnlineeeee :)

Hello! An excellent choice of character!

I love Vyvyan. I should post about him more. When I first got into TYO, he and Rick were both competing for favourite character with me (and, for the record, Vyvyan is a VERY close second).

So, why do I love him? Let's get the obvious out of the way first: he's played by Ade Edmondson, the absolute legend. His overall look makes him an utterly iconic Britcom character (this includes the Scrunch™), as well as his entrance to the show in Demolition. Plus, I really love the voice Ade gives him and it makes me think that the man has super strength vocal chords or something because that is A LOT of shouting. 😂

What makes Vyvyan great is how he is both sadistically violent but with childlike curiosity. He also, as Rik pointed out in an interview, puts the other characters in their place when they're moping and complaining, so the audience kinda sides with him. Vyvyan just... There is virtually nothing he sees as "too far".

He'll swing a wrecking ball through the kitchen to try and set off an atom bomb; he'll single handedly attempt to demolish a house in one evening; he'll rig a bomb up to the front doorbell; he'll detach windows just to smash over people's heads; he'll attack at close quarters with a howitzer; he will, with his bare hands, push the front of a house inwards just to get the video player closer to the plug socket; he'll rig someone's bed to saw them in half when they lie on it; he'll eat a TV and a dead rat and drink an untested potion; he'll stick a leg to the bonnet of his car; he'll blow up the competition on University Challenge; and, most importantly, he will drive a double decker bus off a cliff. There is literally a page on the TYO wiki listing his attacks.

The character in so many other shows would be a villain, someone to fear, some kind of feral beast with no humanity whatsoever... But this is The Young Ones, a world of surrealism, and Vyvyan Basterd continues to attract our adoration. Have you seen that grin at wanton destruction? He relishes in it! He can be misanthropic and likeable.

And you know, I don't believe he is completely one dimensional. I mean, all of them are in essence, since they're cartoonish and represent stereotypes, but even when we have Vyvyan saying he doesn't care about life or himself in one scene... A few scenes later he's sobbing, heartbroken, over the loss of his car and hamster. So maybe he does have a limit. And, maybe then, it's good that he exists in a world where violent outbursts largely have no consequences. Btw him crying that one time is my justification for giving him emotional depth in fics.

Ultimately, I think Vyvyan is almost entirely what we see on the surface. He wasn't designed to be a secretive character in the way Rick and Mike both are (albeit in different ways and for different reasons) or to be a sensitive character like Neil (or Rick, again). Apart from his outburst about The Good Life (typically Ben Elton, I trust you'll agree), he isn't really a political character, despite being a punk. I realise that's maybe a bit of a controversial thing to say and I don't mean that the idea of having a punk on a show wasn't political, more that Vyvyan himself doesn't seem a massively political person. He and his punk friends just like destruction and boasting about kissing girls. Vyvyan even says in Interesting that he'd really like to join the police. 😂

There is one area where I think canon gives us something beneath his surface to tug at and that is his intelligence. Now Vyvyan, like all of them at different points, can be dumb as fuck. He's also got that childish element to him like Rick does. However, he's shown occasionally to be quick witted with numbers (just don't ask him to tell the time) and when he starts explaining to Neil the process of vomiting it's clear he has paid attention at least somewhat to his course. He's also invented mad scientist level potions and pepped up a vacuum cleaner to such power that it sucked up a hippie. In one sense Vyvyan being smart is a contradiction, but it's not such a contradiction once you remember that he is easily bored and doesn't care about much.

The fact he's gotten into university on a medical course (famously difficult to get on to), albeit at Scumbag College, does say something about him, I think. He isn't like Rick or Neil, who come from upper middle class backgrounds and for whom university in the 1980s wasn't such an outlandish goal - Vyvyan's working class, never knew his father and hadn't seen his mother since before teenagehood when he met her again in Boring. He comes from what New Right sociologists (who are gits, by the way) dubbed "the underclass" so Vyvyan being a university student says a bloody lot about him. Impressive, no?

I don't actually think he's particularly angry either, though I understand why anger is usually tied to him. It's not that he doesn't ever get angry, it's just that when he's attacking things or people it's usually because he's bored or he's getting pleasure out of winding (most often) Rick up. He's not even as short tempered as Rick, though they perhaps equal each other in terms of impatience. I can see how he would be intimidating to average people in TYO (if average people exist in TYO) so I think intimidation might be mistaken for anger. And he is intimidating... If you apply the logic of our world to him... But I for one am not intimated by this brilliant madman. I'd much rather join in his stream of chaos, despite being a rather shy and quiet person myself.

That's what fictional characters do to us. 😂

Anyway, after this long ramble, some take aways: Vyvyan - would kiss, looks cool, would like to blow something up with him.

Thanks for the ask!

[british-bombs]

( TO BEAT THE DEVIL ) An introduction.

FORMAT: teleplay / novel

GENRE: horror, coming of age

LOGLINE: An interning demon drives a pair of twins cursed with obedience and honesty to kill their cult leader.

THEMES: Trauma, sexual abuse, domestic violence, victim blaming (particularly self blame), peer pressure, redemption, internalized homophobia, and religion.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Sexual abuse, violence, domestic and otherwise, manipulation, and death

EXTENDED SUMMARY, CHARACTERS, EXCERPT AND NOTES:

Carmine can taste it. They're hiding something. Humans have such a silly smell about them, turns an overwhelming shade of sweet when they've made a demonic deal. All four of these children have. He just can't figure out what, and more importantly: why.

It keeps him on the surface longer than he should be. Long enough that Lilith sees it fit to send him a fucking trainee? And if that wasn't insult enough, the trainees one of the eternal teenage know-it-alls.

He's already got four annoying toddlers to trail, and now there's one tugging his hand in the new generation's approach to soul-catching like Carmine isn't one of the best employees they've had since the turn of the century.

And somehow, to make it all worse, the trainee is good at it. And if Carmine wants to keep his spot at the top of the food chain, he's going to have to get the soul of that dumb bitch who's running the joint.

But, of course, the kid gets him murdered??? And then has the nerve to figure out how what those toddlers managed to stick their syrupy, grubby little hands in. What gives?

But two can play at that game. If he can't get the dead guy's, then he can have the next best thing.

Jesse has lived just under seventeen years, but he's ready to check out. Or he was. But of course, some selfish bastard had to come along and say you can't ever act on those thoughts again! Don't think like that!

And then the hole kept getting deeper.

Six feet deep, to be exact. He's got blood on his hands and no matter how fucking good it felt to cut off the air supply to the God who stole his innocence, it's probably not going to feel very good to watch his mom suffer through a highly publicized trial with headlines like CHILD MURDERS HIGH PROFILE BENEFACTOR!!!

Oh. Well. Billy did say if he really got in that deep, he could always strike up a deal. His soul, everything wrapped up in a nice little bow, sweet as Easter Sunday. But until then? Yeah, he's content to live in a stupid fucking Sherlock Holmes novel.

CHARACTERS:

JESSE NIX: A soon-to-be seventeen-year-old saddled with the curse of obedience. Unlike miss-lucky-Ella-Enchanted, he wasn't told to give away his mommy's locket. No-siree. He was told to give away his virginity. In his opinion, the only appropriate payback is a life. Maybe, one day, if he really snaps, he'll dig up Pastor Dallin's corpse and chop his dick off. Really stick it to the man. If he doesn't go to prison first, anyway. (spotify playlist)

NANCY NIX: Also a soon-to-be-seventeen-year-old, though saddled with the curse of honesty. It's really not so bad. That is, until she stumbles across the sight of her dearest little brother covered in blood for no reason he can push through his metal braces. She refuses to believe he did it on purpose. If only she could convince the cops without sounding like a nutjob. (spotify playlist)

BEVERLY PINES: A seventeen-year-old cursed to feel the pain of those around her. It makes for some fun family dinners with a sadistic mom and a missing dad. Distance nulls pain, but she can't ever seem to make it past state lines before her mom gets wise and breaks one of her ribs. Oh, well. She's got a bone to pick with psychos like her mom. Apparently, Pastor Dallin was one of them. She doesn't think she could stomach the pain of killing someone, so next best thing, right? (spotify playlist)

CLARICE ANDERMANN: Also a seventeen-year-old cursed to be constantly in motion. It's honestly not that bad. She's Yale bound! Perks of having endless energy for everything to cheerleading to debate contests, though she can't imagine her heart's going to keep up like this. It's already hanging on by a thread. That thread is named Beverly Pines and like hell she's letting it go to prison for nothing. (spotify playlist)

BILLY: An annoying fuck trapped in a seventeen-year-old's body. No curses. The opposite, in fact - blessed with a silver tongue and a keen sense of deduction. It takes him all of two hours to put together (almost) everything about Jesse Nix. He just didn't think he could push the repressed little fuck to murder that quick. (All the more power to him, though. Prison always makes people desperate and paranoid, AKA: an easy mark.) (spotify playlist)

MAVIS EVANGELISTA: Former housewife turned grieving widow turned revered prophet. If she got a little help from someone downstairs, then who's to know? They love her all the same. Now, she really, really wants to see how far she can push them all. (spotify playlist)

CARMINE: Just a helpful guy, passing through. Really doesn't need anything, just a little pledge, is all! And then? Then, you can have everything you want, fame, money, power, love. The sky is your limit. The water's fine! (Ignore the piranhas, they'll wait till you're dead to eat your face, just a little bit.) (spotify playlist)

NOTES:

- all of these characters have equal importance within the story.

- personal tag system for story stuff is '#tbtd' and character tags are just first name (ex: '#jesse')

- this is kind of really fucked up. the only reason i wrote it was cause i was thinking damn ella enchanted really is NOT fucked up enough. like i don't think the author of ella enchanted went dark enough. a locket? that's it? a bitch move. i'm taking it to straight murder and sexual abuse

- jesse transgender, no character straight except evil people

- i'm not entirely sure how tag lists work but i think i get the gist of them?? idk if you want rb or ask or something </3

EXCERPT:

There were moments, where she was reminded just how different this voice was, how violent.

She had found Lynette, making off with her makeup that she’d spent her own allowance on. Mavis doted on her and, from what she’d seen of other families, everyone else looked upon their little siblings with contempt, despising the burden they dragged along with their existence.

But Mavis adored Lyn. When she'd been born, her mother had come home with a tiny thing bundled in pink fleece. Mavis had taken to Lyn on sight, thinking Lynette’s headband adorned with a baby blue bow was the universe’s way of telling her happy birthday! as reparations for the ones her mother had missed while she was enduring her week long stay at the hospital.

But that mindset was a disease, one that had finally caught up with her. Had Lynette not become her burden? She was nineteen, busting her back day and night so Lynette wouldn’t have to, that she might avoid the life that Mavis had lived in those blissful six years where it was her and her alone.

Had her mother not tampered down her birthday celebrations since Lynette’s was so very close and they couldn’t afford double anyway? Had Lynette not deprived her of the teenage experiences she heard her classmates speak of, going out and tasting alcohol for the first time while Mavis followed a ten year old Lynette house to house so she could complain of a stomach ache after she’d devoured all the candy on the walk back home?

And now this! Stealing her few precious items, the few things she bothered to save up for, few things she bothered to keep hidden. For what? It wasn’t as though she was ever going to have the courage to ask a peer of her’s out. She was a thief.

One Mavis had made the mistake of taking care of. She should’ve embraced those stirrings of resentment, should’ve left Lynette to her own devices since Lynette didn’t appreciate anything, or even half of what Mavis afforded her. She should’ve left her out in the cold that Christmas. How could anyone have known? It wasn’t as though corpses could talk--

She had let Lyn take off with the whole case, as if to remind herself when she woke up the next morning what she had considered, how vile the thought was.

Lyn had never done anything unforgivable to Mavis. Mavis didn’t suppose she ever could. It was no fault of Lyn’s she didn’t understand what it was like to live with their father. How could she? It was a topic off limits to Lyn by both Mavis and their mother. After all, a child born blind doesn’t know until it’s pointed out to them.

And yet, she found guilt hard to summon. She did, but the speed at which it came, the strength, made her uneasy. What had happened to the girl she was? Lyn had been her world. What had changed?

Then, dully, that other voice, entirely of its own volition, said You did.

[yanderepuck]

Okay, I fell asleep because my body is being weird again, but I am here to send you the vampire lady and himbo king asks ✨

How do they, like, actually get together? You've talked about how they meet but what about the development of feelings and confession? Also first date?

What does each one like the most about the other and is there anything they particularly hate?

Who hogs the blankets?

How would either one react if the other was in danger? Considering they're both vampires, imagine it's like a mage or a vampire hunter? Like, who's more likely to go batshit insane over it?

So after Nicoleta explaining that she's a vampire, and Radu bluntly saying he's the King, he takes her to the castle. He ends up having a lot of questions for her, like...A LOT. So she ends up staying for a few days. Nicoleta is more or less 450 at the time, and Radu isn't even 200, and since he's never met another vampire this is his time to learn about things.

Radu is more like a giddy little school girl like "omg another vampire"

Meanwhile Nicoleta is like "how are you this dumb"

Basically Nicoleta stays to teach him things, and ends up taking some responsibilities without him even asking. Since Radu can't be in the sun, it has made the political part of his job difficult bc of people coming to get help, or nobles coming to just simply complaining about how he runs things, aka lack of running things. Which is why they bother him so much at parties, aka why he hates going to parties.

So the next time someone stops by Nicoleta comes to greet them. Being 18th century, no man is going to listen to a woman, but she's like "Nope, I'm here to help you out, King Fey is busy" so very quickly she becomes the face, because she can even go out and into the city.

For some time Radu doesn't even realize she's doing this, and wonders why he isn't getting harassed as much from others about needing to get things done.

Nicoleta bluntly tells him that she took over some of this duties during the day, and part of his is like "you did fucking what??" because he wants to run the country a certain way, but she seemed to grasp onto his ideals fairly quickly.

I wouldn't say they've really ever gone out on a date, but they go to parties together. At first their sleeping schedules were opposite and they only over lapped by a few hours. But eventually Nicoleta just started pulling all nighers to be with him more. But it was Radu who said "I love you" first.

Because of their sleep schedules, they ended up just sleeping in the same bed, plus Nicoleta has been touched deprived and wanted some cuddles.

Nicoleta is simply half laying on Radu with an arm around him, one leg between his, and he has an arm around her and playing with her hair, both are half asleep and he tells her that he loves her and she's like "wait...what" and he goes "I said: I love you" and gives her forehead kisses.

Nicoleta has never been in love, or hasn't been for a few 100 years, so she gets all warm and giddy inside and snuggles into him.

~

Radu Loves how assertive she is. He's like "whoa...strong woman" But because she is so much older she calls him a lil baby. Radu is like "I'm almost 200!!" and Nicoleta is like "yeah, and I'm almost 500" So he does get a little irritated that she does have more experience, and she will point it out. But honestly, Radu is a little gullible because he doesn't have much real world experience. He almost never leaves the castle and he became King when he was 25

While Radu is doing paper work, Nicoleta likes to be behind him and braid his hair. He finds it very soothing, sometimes too soothing and falls asleep while in the middle of writing. Once he's asleep its almost impossible to get him to wake up.

Even though Radu is the King, Nicoleta managed to whip him, and she didn't even mean to. He's just head over heels for her and would do anything for her. Nicoleta would do the same. She doesn't show it as much as he does though, she's not quite sure how to. So sometimes it may seem like she is ignoring him when he's telling her how much he loves her, but in reality she just doesn't show her feelings as well. She'd rather do things for him, or even get him things, but with him being a King...he sorta has everything he needs/wants.

Also, Radu def hogs the blankets. He's always cold. He could be standing in a fire and he'd be cold, so he's always wrapped up in a fur cape.

~

Okay. So after being together for only two decades, a war breaks out and Radu insists on not being like a normal King and staying behind, he wants to lead the fight. Nicoleta insists on going with him, because she is well worth over 200 soldiers, but she can't go. Someone still has to watch over everything, and plus he can't risk anyone finding out about them being vampires, her being so strong will end up being suspicious.

Well three years come and go and Nicoleta hasn't heard anything from Radu or anyone else in the war. Then one evening a rival army comes and attacks the city, basically burning it to the ground and killing everyone. Some of the soldiers from said army break into the castle to come kill Nicoleta.

They tell her that they killed Radu and she goes absolutely berserk. She ends up killing them with not much of a struggle and ends up leaving the castle.

HOWEVER. Radu is not dead. After some time he had to tell his men what he really was if this was going to go smoothly. He couldn't move forward during the day, but he still insisted in going forward. But, during the day the camp gets ambushed, which is odd, normally it would be at night, but it must be because someone on the other side knows he can't do anything. Radu ends up getting trapped and nailed shut in a box. They made sure to use just enough silver to weaken him so he couldn't just break the box open. The box is then buried in a tunnel wall, covering it up with bricks, and now that I'm saying this I'm realizing it is very similar to "The Cask of the Amontillado" and that one scene in "Interview with the Vampire".

Radu ends up being stuck in the earth until WWI, when he finally hears someone in the tunnels and starts yelling for help. Nicoleta was looking for him for years. She knew he wasn't dead. They said they cut off his head, so she insisted on seeing his head before she would believe it.

So she went back to her home in Rome, meanwhile Radu really wasn't too far away, he was in Tuscany. But right before WWII they ended up finding each other again in Paris. BUT they ended up getting separated again during WWII, because of all the bombings and raids, Radu had to stay somewhere until the sun went down, but things got so bad that he made Nicoleta leave him so that she'd be safe. Luckily this time, Radu knew where her home in Rome was and when he was able to went there and hoped she made it.

~

Fun fact!! By staying with Radu in Prussia, she had to agree to not eat/kill/attack any humans. It wasn't until Radu was finally free from the wall that he finally drank blood from a human.

[heliopauseentertainments]

See now you must answer the dangerous question in return. Favorite robot?

—Tarkles

That is a very dangerous ask. Generally, I have a pretty straightforward answer because normally it’s Megan, much to my spouse’s initial faux horror. But you did me the solid of a media breakdown, so I’ll do the same.

G1: No contest. Dumb old man. He's so oblivious despite textually being smart and is clearly on a lot of drugs. Look at this stupid af flying pistol. High INT, low WIS. The show makes no sense whatsoever. What is the goal. Is there a goal?

Though a really close second is Hot Rod/Rodimus because, my g-d, he's a disaster. One of the first things he does is fall down a hill. Absolute disaster.

TFP: Megan again (he's just so stupid and his plans suck and he's even textually this time on so many drugs), but I'm also super fond of Starscream, Knock Out, and Wheeljack in this one. Oh, and Miko.

This was one of my fave depictions of Wheeljack and how I was introduced to his general love of explosions.

This is actually the first Transformers media I ever saw so I was also really confused the first time through.

Robots In Disguise (Aligned Contiuity): Grimlock and Sideswipe. Just these dipshits running around being dipshits. I need more of that. I've only been able to see the first season of this though.

Beast Wars: It's actually not Megatron. I actually intensely dislike this one (though I really enjoy David Kaye's Tim Curry impression) and get much glee out of mocking him for incompetency and his stupid go-go boots. My favorite robots in this one are Waspinator, Inferno, and Rhinox. And Cheetor to an extent. My actual favorite thing from this series is the Voyager disc because I am a mild space nerd and recognized it immediately.

Beast Machines: I didn't really care for this show, but if I have to pick, I'm going with Cheetor. He really develops as a person, gaining confidence and standing up for himself, over the course of the series.

TFA: Look. Look. You know who I'm going to say. It's one of the few times he actually gets to be smart because he's gotten old enough to get the WIS stat a bit higher. Age and treachery and all that.

This is also one of the few continuities where I actually, genuinely, like Optimus. He's a new dad and has no idea what he's doing and hasn't yet internalized a lot of societal biases in the way most iterations of him have.

Starscream in this one is also A+ and this continuity also contains my favorite Swindle.

IDW Gen 1: We don't need to have the Megan conversation. He's a self-aggrandizing nerd who hangs out with a bunch of other nerds and I enjoy that. I also really like Rodimus, Ultra Magnus, Cyclonus, and Prowl, among other people.

IDW Gen 2: Same as above actually, but I'm still waiting for my copy of Vol 3 to ship. Also whatever Flamewar is doing, I want to know wtf she is up to.

Armada: Generally Megan because w/o Soundwave around he fulfills the role of broody mom and at least he's straight up about what they're using the minicons for. Also Tidalwave is here. I do like Tidalwave for reasons I don't understand. And Demolisher and Hot Shot. I spend a lot of time going 'poor Demolisher.'

Energon: Basically the same as above, especially for Demolisher, except look, Megan tried to die in the events of Armada and now they woke him up against his will. I'd be p pissed off too. The show made no sense and the pacing was g-d awful, but that's really my only opinion about it.

Cybertron: Actually, Scourge. This big bad doofus is shamed and bullied by this human girl who adopts him and I love it. Scourge is dope and really a great reason to watch this one.

Also I complain about the nature of black holes in this one and the fact that Megan doesn't serve a point. In Armada and Energon (the series related to this one), he serves as being necessary for some outcome (usually by dying in some self-sacrificing way). In this one, not really. The antagonist is the black hole and he's just fucking around because he can, I guess. And then dies randomly.

Headmasters: Look, this one was hard to focus through. I think my faves were Rodimus and Ultra Magnus, but they both kinda fuck off early. After that I'm just kinda... left going 'what's happening?' I guess, Chromedome?? He seems to know what's happening???

Super God Masterforce: Browning. This show was hell to sit through and made zero sense, like even less sense than G1 somehow, but I would do it for Browning. I was mostly uncomfortable because I kept getting lots of Gundam vibes.

Cyberverse: Actually, it's Hot Rod. Still really fond of Megan, but Hot Rod getting up to stupid shit is a great joy.

Prime Wars (I think that's what this one is called, either that or Combiner Wars): Look, this follows my general order of characters I like: Megan, Hot Rod (in all his three versions), and generally someone else. In this one, I really liked Grimlock.

...

I think that's all of the things I've seen. This is just kinda an overview.

[kendrixtermina]

The "waifu bait" criticism of Edelgard is so dumb given that most of the cast is technically waifu/husbando bait in one way or another, they're all meant to appeal to players as romance options, and she's the only one getting flack for it. (Well, not the only one, there were some people giving Dimitri shit too for being "wish fullfillment for stupid teenage girls who think they can fix a man," but I see the complaint most often with Edelgard.)

Yeah. I mean, you can boink Rhea and Jeritza!

It’s not like satelite love interests aren’t a plague onto anime and fiction in general, but I only ever hear this “you only like them because they’re waifu/bishie” thing directed at characters who very much DO have personality, unique compelling features and plot relevance. 

I’ve also seen this thrown at, say, Evangelion’s Miss Ayanami, as if all the fascinating sci-fi concept stuff and compelling narrative about finding your own worth and making a connection in a cruel lonely world wasn’t there - and at least we do see her through a “main character’s love interest” sorta lens. (I was thinking about how Byleth is actually quite similar, except more proactive with more of a dorky side, and less philosophical/reflective, but because Byleth is the MC we come off with a fairly different impression. )

Meanwhile with Edelgard they really didn’t pull any punches, the whole story is set in motion and dominated by her active choices, most the unique designs/outfits she gets are geared to look elegant/powerful.  (Apart from the usual ‘individually wrapped boob armor would break your sternum’ thing but you’d really have to know physics for that/ could be fixed easily by making the fit more sweater-like), she has a specific discernable philosophy and makes impactful choices, that can genuinely be agreed or disagreed with.

You can’t swag her into your way of thinking - you can only ally with her under the presupposition that you already actively agree. (See all the people complaining that you cant “criticise her more”, expecting her to be like Dimitri basically even though they are exact opposites. You can only get on her route by making two deliberate choices. I mean they wrote this with your first playthrough in mind, in-universe you’re not there because you wanna complete all aroutes but because you actively chose to join her after she spent a year unsubtly trying to recruit you to her cause)

You don’t talk Claude out of his tactics either. (and forcing it all into this comparision often leads ppl to overlook that he has ambiguities or character development at all, maybe he isn’t vilified but he gets simplified and therefore wronged just as much in the end. They’re not all Dimitri. The whole point of having three or four different potential deuteragonists to choose from is that they’re different)… heck, even if you look at Dimitri, you only get him back to what he really wanted to do back in part I before his black-and-white thinking and exaggerated sense of duty got the better of him. 

With all three, joining them eventually just enables them to get closer to their actual vision. Back when you meet her in Remire, Edelgard outright tells you that “with your power on my side, we could courttail the slitherer’s atrocities much more efficiently”. You don’t change her mind at all; You enable her to use “Plan A”. Same with Claude, who otherwise plains much more defensively both because he has less support and because he’s more jaded. And Dimitri essentially pulls a Sayaka, ie being unable to live up to his own unrealistic standards drive him to lose all hope and become the very opposite of the hero he wanted to be, but you do help him get back to that, or to a more balanced mature understanding of that. 

The best proof of that is that the popularity poll numbers actually went down after the release, ie a lot of ppl who liked her just bc they liked her design were turned off that there’s a specific personality there that isn’t necessarily their type/ a MO they don’t necessarily agree with. Or all those peeps complaining that the S-support was too understated for them. Claude got that too - They’re just not the most open/expressive people in the world, one would think that after playing through their routes you would know and understand that. Whereas Dimitri has been super emotional from day one (which is both his greatest strength and greatest weakness), so it figures that he’d be more conventionally romantic. 

- Hardly things that would happen if she were written to be “blandly pleasant”.  I mean generally speaking she’s not the best as showing her feelings and when she does she’s often pretty blunt at it even with her closest friends (El: ”Hubert! I order you to tell me what it is you’re not telling me!” Hubert: [elegantly weasels out of answering] El: [after he’s left the room] I’m worried about him tho. )

Seems senseless to claim that she’s blandly pleasant when she’s absolutely gotten a love-it-or-hate-it-marmite-reaction all across the board. It also seems to go along with the implicit idea that everyone who likes her is heterosexual boys. I’m neither, and it’s not like heterosexual boys aren’t ever interested in “plot” or “writing” I mean geez. Though I would resist the temptation to fully ascribe it to things like that. 

To an extent it’s simply confusion. “How can they like this thing that obviously sucks? Must be an ulterior motive”, whereas in reality ppl who like her have probably parsed what happened here differently to begin with (It depends greatly on how powerful you concluded Rhea was, ie, wether what Edelgard is doing is a conquest or a revolt. She certainly sees it as a revolt. Even today in the modern day most of us see revolts as legitimate, or at least, if they get overly destructive, as a fault of the bad government. Heck, there are many on this very site who would label all revolts legit by default (”eat the rich”, the more ‘original sin-like’ variants of privilege theory) which is further than I would go )

There certainly are a bunch of ‘cute’ scenes post holy-tomb scene and under the assumption that Edelgard is this my-way-or-the-highway type of person that many have her pegged as I can see how they might think that it “makes no sense” but that’s really down to wanting her not tp step outside of that idea they have of her. I mean even supervillains have silly everyday situations. Bin Laden loved Disney Movies, Hitler loved his dogs. By itself that has nothing to do with morality or likeability. It’s just being human. Supervillains blush, not because they’re not villains, but because they have blood vessels in their faces. It’s only logical that once you get close to someone and get them to trust you, you get to see more of their silly or vulnerable sides. It’s the same with Rhea. (except that the same people argue that having personable vulnerable sides at all makes Rhea good s of course it causes some cognitive dissonance when Edelgard also has them. I’ve yet to see ppl calling “waifuism” on Rhea (whom I would consider a full-fledged villain), and they shouldn’t - it’s characterization.) Same with ppl calling Edelgard a “manchild” for liking stuffed animals and sweets. She’s actually very mature and adult for her age, having some interests that aren’t super high-minded is just realistic and if you looked at her as a full 3D person who can have more than one trait you’d see that. 

This also goes with that tendency of holding up AM as the gold standard complaining about the lack of AM-like plot that they completely miss the different but equally compelling character arcs in VW and CF. That’s not a lack of arc, that IS the arc, it’s just a different arc: We get to see this tough, in-control high-minded character who’d completely given up on the normal life she wanted so much and resigned herself to never being understood finding out that she is very much still capable of normalcy and humanity and finding friendship and love and I think that’s beautiful. It’s my jam. 

And it’s meaningful precisely because it’s a change from only seeing the tough leader guise otherwise. Complaining about that is like complaining about getting to see Claude’s more wistful, dreamy, benevolent, not-entirely self-interest side in VW or claiming that the writing would be better if he were just a straight-up selfish trickster. Actually, if you removed their heroic traits you’d end up with a lot more generic characters. You’d simply get every wild card trickster ever, and every “Nietzschean” villain ever.  It’s the fact that they’re unconventional heroes that makes Claude and Edelgard so unique, compelling and interesting. If you like conventional heroes, Dimitri is right here. Your basic heroic fantasy ‘rightful king returns/ soft peace loving hero’, plus your basic jrpg guilt-ridden angsty protagonist. I mean there’s good reason that these character archetypes are popular. Plus he’s especially well-executed and recontextualized by the contrast to the others, but there he is, enjoy him! We’re not stopping you. 

It’s really Seteth who came up short arc wise. You could have given him an arc, the potential was there, he essentially transistions from protecting himself and his family to taking on his family’s heroic quest and rising up to that, but he doesn’t get like, a scene reflecting on that. Or you could’ve sent them on some mission to actually curb some corrupt cardinals etc, shown them actually reforming the church and realizing that it wasn’t all perfect, after all he very much knows that Rhea herself wasn’t all perfect. 

For all that much of media is obsessed with making characters “hot”, the truth is that if people like them for any reason, they will find them hot anyways, regardless of whether that was the intention. (unless the people in question are aroace, or the character is a literal, realistic prepubescent child)

You don’t have to “make”  a character hot for ppl to find them so.