#also the fact that she stood up for faith despite everything faith had ever done to her speaks volumes about buffy's character

[thequeenofsastiel]

FUCK I love Buffy. When the Potentials were saying that they got punished for following Faith and that it was the wrong thing to do, instead of agreeing with them and pointing out that she was right about the vineyard and went BY HERSELF after they all turned on her, she stood up for Faith, saying that it wasn't her fault that she got so many Potentials injured and killed. Buffy could have easily been like "Yeah, I told y'all that following her was a dumb idea and I was right about the vineyard so y'all have no one to blame but yourselves". But she didn't. She stood up for Faith because she knew what it was like to lead the Potentials into a trap, and she wasn't going to pretend that she didn't. She was still in the right about the vineyard, but she didn't let that matter. She had integrity, and didn't feel the need to punish the people who had betrayed her in any way. Or if she did, she didn't act upon it. Buffy is brave, kind, and understanding. We love Buffy on this blog.

[baelpenrose]

Nihilus Rex 29: Confessions, Part I: The Priest and the Sinner

Nils confronts his grief about Jessie, and grapples with his fading faith. This chapter, along with two others threaded throughout the story, are meant as critical character studies of who Nils is as a person, and while they are part of the larger story, the chapters titled "confessions" also function as a micro story unto themselves.

Beta-read and co-written by @canyouhearthelight.

For the life of me, I cannot remember

What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise

For the life of me, I cannot believe

We'd ever die for these sins, we were merely freshmen

The Verve Pipe “Freshmen Song”

Nils

I was troubled when I went home. After Lash and I split, we agreed to call the next day and talk through some stuff, but I had promised my parents I’d call. And…I still needed to check in on Jessie’s family. I had been missing my every-other-week checkin for a while. Maybe a long while. Between Lash and everything else I’d been doing, it almost felt like….

Oh god, I don’t know if I’d checked since the heist.

So I went by their house, after buying flowers and ready to make all apologies. I knocked, slowly. “Mrs. Parson, it’s Nils. I’m…” I felt a wash of guilt. Why should they let me in? I’d all but forgotten them in my own grief and the madness that had followed it. “I’m sorry I left for a while. I got caught up in something. And I’m sorry for everything else. I should have been here sooner. I should have been with Jessie more.” The door was still closed.

I knocked again. “I don’t know if you’re even home. But I want you to know I’m sorry. I should have kept coming, way longer than I did.”

The door opened, and Mrs. Parson stood before me. Despite being slightly younger than my mother, she looked older. Her chronic illness, the marks of longtime working-class life, and the grief of her daughter’s death had taken their toll. “You shouldn’t have come back.”

I felt the words like a slap, but I took them. And I suddenly felt a flash of anger that always preceded things that shouldn’t be said, things that couldn’t be taken back. Jessie wouldn’t have wanted me to say the things I was going to say. Jessie had forgiven these people, wanted to take care of these people, would have wanted me to take care of these people, would be angry that I had failed to check in. I had already failed to deal with the student debts in time.

But Jessie wasn’t here and I was going to fail her again. All the things that we’d told each other, about mental health breakdowns, about crises of faith, about problems with parents…

“Speaking of people who shouldn’t have come back. How’s the stepson?”

Mrs. Parsons blanched. She’d remarried not long after Jessie’s father had walked out on her to the anger of the church, and found a new guy whose wife had died some years before.  Jessie’s stepdad was actually a pretty standup guy - he’d fumbled once, in the immediate reaction of finding out about what his son had done, but even Jessie had believed in the aftermath that it was a matter of shock more than a matter of not believing her, and he had done more or less the right things once he’d gotten a chance to get his wits back. It didn’t change the fact that the initial failure, especially given that her mom had desperately been trying to play peacemaker, had definitely compounded the trauma. Her stepbrother, on the other hand, was an abusive jackass that Jessie had definitely been pressured to forgive a little too fast, and somewhere along my little revolution was going to be a bonus objective of ensuring he didn’t live to see the new world. 

“Jessie forgave him.” She sounded half like she was trying to convince herself. 

“Hm. Did she think she had a choice?” I knew the answer, I wondered if this woman did. Jessie thought she did, but that only forgiveness was the right one, because she had always believed, more fervently than I ever had, in the forgiveness of Christ.  I also knew that the dissonance of that hadn’t helped her, had rattled her, had convinced her she was falling short if she was still angry.

And I was ready to bite, especially when Mrs. Parsons then pivoted. “And you? You’ve had choices recently. What’s your new girl’s name? Elakshi? The one you went on air with at the hospital? You moved on fast.”

 I gaped. “Moving on fast…I mean, you want to talk about moving on, I probably shouldn’t have let it slide that you were so scared of your second husband moving on like the first at the first sign of trouble that you didn’t want Jessie talking about what your stepson was doing. Mind you, Mr. Parsons fucked up when he first found out, and as bad as it was even then he wound up doing the right thing once he’d taken a second. I can forgive shock a lot better than I can forgive forced martyrdom. Don’t talk to me about moving on from anything too fast when you weren’t willing to deal with something to begin with. You can call it the forgiveness of God all you want, but be real: you wanted to dodge the stigma of a second divorce. The fact that she dropped out of college to try to help you with your sickness is beyond me.” The snarl, the hate, the sudden surge of helpless rage I’d always felt at never quite being able to express what I’d wanted to to Jessie because she wouldn’t have heard it and it wouldn’t have helped, things I should have said but couldn’t, things I maybe should have said because they maybe could have helped, but now I’d never know…

She glared. “Jessie thought you loved her!” 

“JESSIE AND I NEVER DATED!” I suddenly shouted. “NOT BECAUSE I DIDN’T WANT TO BUT BECAUSE SHE SAID SHE THOUGHT WE WERE BETTER OFF AS FRIENDS! I WASN’T MOVING ON FROM HER! WE WERE NEVER TOGETHER!”

“SHE LIED!” I paused at that, and she kept going. “She lied, Nils. She lied, because she knew that you were the kind of person to go all the way to the wall for something, for someone, and she also knew that if you two ever got together, you could get her to go with you.” Her voice grew quiet, but carried on, determined, and I almost strained to hear the cold drumbeat of words that left me numb. “And she knew that you wanted to go places, that you didn’t want to be stuck dealing with her family, or yours, or the church you’ve always wobbled on but that she always believed in, and knew that you would care about her but probably never actually be happy with her without one of you changing the other too much to recognize.” A sigh, and she rubbed her arms with her hands. “So she lied, and you didn’t recognize it enough to realize that she reciprocated how you felt. I had to watch you two pining for each other from the time you were little and then I watched the boy who comforted my daughter through all sorts of awful things I fucked up with and can never forgive myself for drop off the map weeks after she died.” Her voice shook before she steadied and continued, steely. “And then you showed up on TV with your new girlfriend. So don’t tell me how she felt forced to do anything because you were never able to figure out her feelings well enough to guess how her beliefs and feelings impacted what she did.” 

She took the flowers from me while I was still reeling. “Thank you for the flowers. I’m sure Jessie would forgive you, and I have no doubt you’re doing something that would either thrill her or horrify her. That stunt at the hospital was enough of a hint. But I can’t forgive you for vanishing. And I understand if you can’t forgive how badly I did when she needed me. Don’t come by again.” 

I nodded. “I understand. Oh, and as long as we’re being honest? Your hunch is right. If you have any affection for your stepson at all? Tell him that he should try to make sure I’m never reminded he exists. Jessie forgave him. I don’t. God bless you for whatever that is worth.” 

I walked away, shaking, and took some breaths, slowly shaking, and the minute I was out of sight, around the corner, into my car, I closed the doors and started screaming. I pounded the steering wheel and howled for a second. 

She’d loved me and I��d never known. I’d fucked it up. I had…Fuck. Fuck FUCK!

I drove to the church. It had been a long time since my last confession, since the funeral, but I could stand to speak to Father Rivera. He was the only one who did confessions this late, and the only priest in the diocese that I respected anyway. He’d done Last Rites at the funeral of a suicide because he thought it was the right thing to do.  And…I had just made a deal with the devil.

First though. I called my mom. She’d always been the more devout of my parents.

“Hey mom. Confessional booth stuff is inadmissible in court of law, right?”

“That’s right, Nils, but…why?”

“Have some stuff I’d rather talk about with a priest.”

***

“Forgive me father, for I have sinned. It has been five months and two weeks since my last confession.”

“What do you have to repent of this time?” 

“Before I answer, Father, may I ask something and be answered?”

“Yes.” Father Rivera sounded confused. I’d already looked up the answer to this, and asked my mother this, just to be sure. I wanted to ensure I could trust Rivera, though I was pretty sure he wouldn’t squeak, it was good to know that it would mean nothing if he did.

“Is what I say in here protected by the Seal of Confession, and are you bound by the sanctity of the sacraments to reveal nothing of what I say to anyone?”

“I can say nothing of what is said here to anyone provided that you are confessing sins you have already committed. If you confess a sin you are currently planning to commit, and thus are unrepentant of, that is not within the Seal of Confession.”

I thought about that. A tacit warning and an admission.

“Okay. Then I will say this. I have slain nine men. Six by mistake, three in retribution. I have stolen - but profited nothing, and I do not count the theft among my sins, because I believe the word of Christ argues that my actions there were in fact holy in nature. I have lied, and brought shame to the name of my father, but in so doing brought safety to the sick. I have sinned, sexually, beyond what we spoke of the last…every confession I’ve been in, actually.”

Father Rivera’s voice came across. “Stop, stop. Nils, you confessed something very, very serious, followed by something that I want to question, followed by something I already suspected and the whole city got without context, followed by something that I already knew because of the girl you appeared on local TV with and that I know you aren’t remotely repentant about because you confess some new sexual sin every time you do this.” He took a breath. “Also, Nils. You forget I was a young man for years before I took Holy Orders. You aren’t confessing on that last one, because I know you too well to think you’re repentant. You’re bragging. Stop.” 

I took a breath. “Murder first, then?”

“Killing first. When you say you killed nine, six by mistake, three by retribution. How?”

“I manipulated people into situations where they’d be killed. Six of those were not deliberate - my design was not for them to die. Three, I deliberately got killed because they were involved in something that killed friends of mine.”

“You weren’t the one who killed them, though?”

“Not directly, but I can’t, philosophically, say politicians commit murder whether or not their hands are ever touched by blood and then deny my actions here were the same. Hands at the direction of my mind pulled the triggers, whether those hands were connected, physically, to my brain by my own nerves or simply by words and minds willing to trust me doesn’t absolve me, it just stains the people I used as catspaws - my guilt is increased, not decreased, at that point. I will confess to being a murderer, but not a hypocrite or a pharisee.” 

“No, and that is honest - as you’ve always been, in your way. Do you repent of the killings?”

“Yes.”

“All of them? I know you, Nils. I didn’t have to ask for reasons beyond the ritual if you regretted and repented the ones you’d done accidentally, but I mean the people you got killed on purpose.”

“Yes, I do.” I lied. “I believed it was necessary, but it was wrong, and I rushed to it in wrath.”  An advantage - now, Rivera would feel obligated not to tell anyone, even if he wound up being suspicious. 

“I’m curious - what led to your belief it was necessary?”

“The three I did on purpose were the ones behind the firebombing of the cafe. I figured that out through deceptive means, ones that wouldn’t hold up in court, but ones that involved manipulating their allies into turning on them. There were friends of mine in the cafe. Ones who didn’t make it out.” 

Rivera sighed. “Nils. It wasn’t yours to decide who should live and who should die.”

“I know. As I said, I was angry.”

“And the other six?”

“That ties into the theft. The one I don’t know was a sin.”

The voice took on an amused note. “Now I’m curious. Almost morbidly.”

“Is usury not still a sin? Did Christ not demand that debts be forgiven every seven years?”

A tone of comprehension crept into his voice. “Nils…are you saying…”

“I want it noted this time I am bragging less of the act itself than the skill it took to accomplish it.”

“I will take you at your word that that is not inconsiderable. I am still…Nils, my son. I want to confirm. The banks.”

“Yes.” A note of pride crept into my voice.

“Your actions with your father’s hospital were doing a good thing in a bad way, for Christ did heal the sick without indebting them. Your deceptions were sinful means - thou shalt not bear false witness. Your actions with the debts were forgery and theft on a massive scale, and yet they saved thousands of families, and it is…hard to proclaim that you have not, once again, done holy work by sinful means. The Jesuits would be impressed. I am not a Jesuit, I believe that the actions of flawed men that take the will of God into their own hands will often lead to dark places - the Church’s most harsh critics, not without reason, point to the Inquisition, the Crusades, the Residential Schools, all people who did what they thought was ‘God’s Will’ by evil means.” 

“And yet, should the ends themselves not be considered? Should saving people in the here and now not weigh heavier than the imagined ideals of ‘God’s Will’ by people so corrupt they believed they were right to rape? To torture children? What was it Christ said of those who took to brutalizing children in his presence? Something about millstones and swimming? He took a whip to moneychangers, He never took a rod to a child, that was a Proverb - and not quoted from His word.” 

“Of course, and the Proverb was supposed to refer to a shepherd's crook rather than a whipping rod anyway. And yet, the Great Commission - a point on which you and I have gone around a few times in your studies of history and philosophy - was from His word, and was how the worst of those justified their acts. But you’re too clever not to realize what you’re doing - your ends may be noble, but your means make use of the devil’s tools and those who do that will, by degrees, find themselves among his vassals before they realize they’ve lost their way.”

I didn’t agree with that, and wasn’t entirely certain my allegiance was to any particular higher power rather than an alliance of convenience with whichever one countenanced a victory over the horror I saw in this world. Then I remembered this was supposed to be a confession, and figured I should stop arguing - my goal was mostly to get things off my chest and keep from drawing too deep.

“As you say. Means aside, I believe that in the process of all that, I may have made something of a deal with a devil. There’s an associate of mine who I don’t like and don’t trust that I’ve been forced to work with, and I fear that much of my most important work will be stained by working with him. But…it was necessary to help those people.”

“Define ‘devil.”

“His every aspect is vile and his views on the world almost diametrically opposed to mine. What he calls justice, I call horror and what I call justice he would call perversion of nature.”

“How did you convince this man to collaborate with you?”

“For a day, we shared a common enemy.” 

“Ah. Many such partnerships corrupt good men. And you say your means have no risk of corrupting what you intend?”

“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t have the doubts I do.” 

I could hear Rivera folding his hands. “I see.” 

I could feel Mrs. Parsons’ words weighing on me. 

“And…” The words tumbled out. “I failed Jessie. I should have listened more carefully. She died because I didn’t pay close enough attention. It was my fault…”

“No. That I will not absolve you for, because that wasn’t. You didn’t know everything on her heart. She came to me regularly. That was not on you. There are others who should seek God’s forgiveness for that, and you have your sins to bear and repent, but that, Nils, THAT truly is not one of them.”

“Had I acted sooner, she wouldn’t have been crushed under so much debt.”

“And even if it was your responsibility to shatter the entire banking system to save a life, which it categorically is not, I will say that is NOT what pushed her over the edge. Not from everything she told me. That failure was more mine than yours. Nils.” His voice was strained. “Jessie’s death was not your fault. And if your war against the world’s economy is some act of penitent crusade because you believed you should have acted sooner, you should stop now, because all wars lead to men riding with demons, and yours is not necessary.”

I froze. Then I spoke. “I would like to repent now, Father. I’m done confessing for the day. Thank you for your guidance.”

“The forgiveness prayer, and then a full score Pater Nostrum and a dozen Ave Marias. The Rite of Penance again, the last one over the candle.” That last was unusual for Rivera, but I supposed I had just confessed to nine murders. 

“O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins because of thy just punishments, but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, who art all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve with the help of Thy grace to sin no more and to avoid the near occasion of sin. Amen.”

He finished at the same time I did, then I went to the pews and silently spoke the other, ritual repetitions. Then, I headed to the altar, placed my hand over the candle, and silently chanted out the prayer of Penance, trying to ignore the pain, and slowly pulled my hand out of the heat as I finished. It had driven my anxiety up, and I hadn’t realized the impact it would have, to do that, after the fire in the cafe. 

As I walked out of the church, I called my mother. “Yeah, Mom. I saw your other text. I probably should have…should have talked to you guys about her sooner. But yeah, uh…her and I are working together great. We met in class, but we’re kinda working together, on and off, on outside projects.”

“When do you want her to meet us, like formally?”

I froze. “Uh…I’ll talk to her, but I think she might be open to it? I had to meet hers, after all.”

“I’ll be there, Nils. Relax.”

I took a breath. “Okay.”

[anika-ann]

Attached: Word Is that We Might Work It Out

Type: Modern-college-professor AU - part of Attached series 

Pairing: professor!Steve Rogers x reader   Word count: 6850🙈

Summary: You said yes to Professor Rogers – Steve – taking you out for ‘coffee’. Ball’s in your court – and you decide to make your move. 

A date, maybe first of many, maybe not. A date with the gorgeous professor who happened to read your erotica about him. What could possibly go wrong? 

Warnings:  alcohol consumption, professor-student relationship and unspecified age gap, language, lots of fluff

A/N: Timeline-wise, this one-shot fits in after chapter four of Attached!!! At the end, you can find the reason behind me writing this. You can consider it one big flashback, if you will 😅 Gif by capchrisevaans.

Series masterlist | previous in timeline

⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰

You lasted one day. One full day since the encounter in the office, since Professor Rogers admitted he would like to take you out for coffee or something similar. Since you two exchanged numbers.

It took you twenty-four hours – maybe less – to decide that so what if that might be a bad idea. It was not against the university rules and Professor Steve Rogers was a fucking specimen who also seemed to be a genuinely nice human being and if you allowed yourself to play chicken just because something only might go wrong in the future, you’d be an idiot.

Penny, your roomie, wholeheartedly agreed. She actually punched the air in victory as you were nursing a greasy lunch due to the wild-ish celebration of the end of the semester together the night prior and you just said to the void: “You know what, screw it. I’m gonna go for it.”

You didn’t even have to say what you were talking about – Professor Rogers had been the topic ever since the faithful Monday.

So you texted him that if the offer still stood, you’d like to meet up on Friday evening. Was he free?

Hey, Y/N :) Thank you for reaching out. Friday sounds great. Do you have anything specific in mind?

“Dude. He’s such a cutie. Who even texts like that?” Penny chuckled, a wide grin on her face as you couldn’t but read the text out loud.

“I texted him like that.”

“Touché. Because you want to impress mister ‘hot as fuck intellectual’ there.”

You just rolled your eyes, neither confirming nor denying. Mostly because Penny was right. But he was the first to use an emoji and… yeah, cutie indeed.

Well, I never say no to dinner and I’m down for almost anything-

“I bet you are,” Penny hummed to your ear and you swung after her blindly and thought of a better phrasing.

Well, I never say no to a dinner and I’m not picky. You choose. Seven-ish sounds good?

“Spoilsport.”

“Stop reading over my shoulder!” you chuckled and bit your lip as the answer came almost immediately.

Seven is alright. I’ll think of something to treat a girl right ;)

Your stomach made a small somersault, your face instantly radiating heat at the possible innuendo. The phone vibrated again before you could fully process the image your mind painted of him actually saying it in his gentle timbre.

Just so we’re clear, what is the nature of the dinner? It can be whatever you feel comfortable with.

Your heart leaped into your throat, hammering wildly.

That was the question, wasn’t it? Since you texted him, you made one thing clear with yourself. If you were doing this, it was going to be a date. You wouldn’t be doing things by halves.

Penny next to you made a noise that sounded as something between an aww and her gagging on nothing. “He’s disgustingly considerate for a man his age planning on going out with a girl your age.”

“He’s not that much older,” you protested instantly, frowning. He wasn’t. She knew that; you had both done your research. “And I think it’s amazing.”

You caught Penny’s smile from the corner of your eye as you typed.

“Well, it is kinda sweet. And I know he’s not, I’m messing with you. It’s just-- DON’T SEND HIM THAT!”

“Why?” you questioned, looking at her quizzically and totally clicking on send on purpose at the same time.

I’d be comfortable with a date if you are.

“It’s so lame. Of course he’s comfortable with a date, he suggested it. Duh.”

The reply came way too fast and Penny chuckled behind you as your jaw went slack.

“You know what? Don’t mind me. Good job. Keep it up,” Penny patted your shoulder as you stared at the screen where Professor Steven Grant Rogers just texted you a damn heart.

It’s a date <3

⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰

It was a date indeed.

Steve texted you an address on Friday morning (along with an adorable good morning :) ), apologizing that he couldn’t pick you up, making sure you’d be alright getting there on your own. You found it absolutely sweet, considerate and smart. You suspected that his ‘inability’ to pick you up had something to do with the fact that you lived at the dorms and if he showed up there, it would be trending in the university chit-chat room within five minutes.

You spent a better part of the Friday afternoon researching the place and the weather forecast so you could dress accordingly and getting ready.

You were not ready for a date with Steve Rogers however; your nerves were a mess and nothing could ever prepare you for when he showed up perfectly on time in front of the restaurant---- wearing a suit no less.

How were you supposed to function when he was wearing such elegant clothing, a suit he filled up so fucking well?! And he looked just as breath-taking as always, stupidly perfect beard and slightly tousled hair you just wanted to run your fingers through and his smile was so gorgeous and--- Jesus Fucking Christ, the suit- how could you even put words together when looking at him-

“Wow, I feel so underdressed now.”

Clearly, you could speak just fine, only you lost your brain-to-mouth filter. Also, your mouth might have started watering and your heart was pounding like crazy. You would not survive tonight.

But, you also had a point. The restaurant was supposed to be a nice place, but relatively plain. And he showed up in amazingly fitting dress pants, white shirt, a tie and a suit jacket. So yes, you did feel underdressed.

“Oh no, no! You’re not,” he rushed to reassure you, eyeing your semi-leisure white dress with burgundy flowers with an attentive gaze that had you shifting your weight nervously. “I’m overdressed if anything. Sticking out like a sore thumb, I’m sorry.”

You could always just strip the suit jacket, was your first thought, but luckily for you, this time you managed to contain the words before they got out to the open.

“You’re fine,” you said instead, not knowing how else to react; needless to say you were grateful for the smile he gave you despite the double meaning.

Yes, he was fine indeed. Always. It was unfair, really.

“Thanks. You too. In fact, you look beautiful.”

Your heart stopped in your chest, your mind suddenly racing a mile per minute.

It was ridiculous. It was just a word. But for one, it was spoken so kindly and genuinely you couldn’t but think he meant it, for two, it was Professor Steve Rogers who told you that and--- beautiful.

You couldn’t remember a guy ever calling you beautiful.

Cute? Sure. Pretty? Maybe. Hot? Might have happened once or twice . But beautiful?

You might actually swoon.

And you were so lost in your head that you couldn’t but silently stare at the lethally handsome man in front of you and then it again registered in your brain that this was your fucking crush speaking to you and he was on a date with you and he had read your erotica, one that was about him no less-

Your face was set aflame in an instant and you… you couldn’t let out a word.

“It everything okay? Did I… did I say something wrong?” Steve asked hesitantly, a concerned wrinkle appearing between his brows and it reminded you of all the times you had seen him wearing such thoughtful expression in the two classes he taught instead of Professor Barnes and-

You were screwed.

Tonight was going to be a disaster.

“No, uhm, no, sorry--- maybe we should go inside or-“ you muttered, lightly gesturing towards the door and could you get any more awkward?

“Yeah, sure, sounds good.”

He let you walk in first like a real gentleman, the lightest skim of his fingers on your lower back, which caused your heartbeat to skyrocket; and only when the hostess seated you, you realized you never accepted his kind compliment.

It was too late for that now, you assumed, so you sipped at the still water which waited at each table, and repeated like a mantra to yourself that you needed to get your shit together otherwise you’d ruin your shot before the night even started.

But clearly, you succeeded at that already.

Whatever awkward aura you had around yourself, it seemed to extend now to him too – he shifted slightly in his seat (he had pulled out your chair for you before, because of course he had), his shoulders stiff. Despite that, he smiled at you over the menu.

“So… all exams worked out? Enjoying the freedom?” he asked casually.

“Oh, yes. Yeah.”

“Congratulations.”

“Thanks,” you uttered with a forced smile, your stomach twisted unpleasantly.  

For some reason, you felt like you were having a lame attempt at small talk with a professor, which you were, but it wasn’t supposed to be like that.

Not tonight. Not on a date.

What were you even doing here? What were you playing at? Professor Steve Rogers was entirely out of your league, gorgeous, funny, kind and smart and here you were, barely making conversation.

It was pathetic really. It was embarrassing for both of you.

“You up to anything fun?” he queried, the question less enthusiastic than the one before. He was already growing tired of making your uncooperative brain work at least a bit, it was obvious.

Your gulped as the memory of last night popped in your head – staying in, quiet evening, in a mood for some dirty writing--- oh bless, another reminder of why this dinner was and should be really weird.

Steve read your smutty story. The one about him.

“Nothing special,” you squealed silently, earning a plain nod. “Eh, we went out with Penny, my roommate and best friend in one person. But mostly I just stayed in and--- caught up on sleeping.”

“I know what that’s like,” Steve hummed, clearly as grateful as you were when the waiter appeared by your table to take your orders.

Silence stretched as the man left, your hand beginning to fiddle with the neatly folded napkin on the table, lump growing in your throat due to your nerves.

“What about you? Anything… fun?” you asked reluctantly, noticing a brief smile passing Steve’s lips. Pretty, sinfully pretty lips. Perfect. Untouchable for mere mortals like you.

“Oh, not much. Few exam sittings, faculty meetings – we had one now, hence the suit-“

“You came here right from school?” you blurted out, startled – and clearly surprising him with your rudeness. “Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. Yes, I did. We have a meeting every last Friday of the month.”

“Oh my god, you must be so tired,” you sympathized with him quietly, the uneasy feeling in your stomach only growing. He came here straight from work and for this? “Why didn’t you say something? We could have postponed or something.”

Steve swiftly shook his head, his warm hand landing on yours, gently stopping your restless fingers. This time, it was butterflies in your stomach erupting with life, the sweet comforting gesture warming your heart. He wanted to be here. He came here for you. He was interested in you.

And the feeling was mutual. So why was it being so weird then?

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m glad you reached out. I’m glad that you said yes in the first place,” he admitted, features softening despite the tension in his shoulders never leaving. His brows furrowed as he slowly withdrew his hand – it must have been an automatic reaction then. “I’m not that tired and… and maybe I was little worried that if I asked for a different date, then…”

He trailed off and your lips parted in surprise, your heart swelling in your chest at what he was implying.

Did he think you’d back out? Did he think that all the potential obstacles intimidated you too much? That you’d think it wasn’t worth it? That it wouldn’t work out anyway?

Seeing as you were now, you couldn’t blame him. Despite him being the world’s most charming man, here you were, being… not at all yourself, stressing for no reason.

It seemed to you that had had chemistry, back there in his office. This date made sense. When you imagined how this could unfold, well, it went a bit differently too. There was considerably less embarrassment going around.

This was why you preferred writing to speaking. That’s why you liked daydreaming. Because reality was often less than ideal, no script, awkward silences, misunderstandings…

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, your voice barely audible as your food arrived.

You both thanked the waiter politely and you hoped that at least now you’d have a good excuse for the lack of normal conversation.

“What are you sorry for?”

You sighed and nibbled on your lower lip, not missing the way his gaze instinctively flickered there, pupils dilating just a fraction – but enough for you to notice. Your heart skipped a pleased beat – but the undeniable physical attraction couldn’t be enough.

“For this,” you said, gesturing vaguely between the two of you. His features twisted in disappointment and something that looked a lot like regret flashed in his eyes. “I want to be here, Steve. I really do. I don’t know what’s wrong with me-“

“There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you,” he was quick to oppose and you couldn’t help it as a wry chuckle escaped you.

“Well, there’s certainly nothing wrong with you. And still, there’s this…”

“…tension?”

You wished.

“Sort of? But not the fun kind, for sure.”

He grimaced, but a spark of amusement lit up his blue irises. “Awkward air around us?”

“Yes!” you exclaimed victoriously as he voiced exactly what you were thinking. Then you quickly lowered your voice, looking around. Luckily, no one stared at you. You realized you leaned closer to him over the table, your heart racing at that, but you didn’t withdraw; it was a lovely opportunity to get even a better look at his perfect face. “But I don’t know why!” You knew why. “I like you, Steve-“

“I like you too. And I know I already said that, but you look stunning.”

Your cheeks burned again, but this time, you managed to stutter out a thank you at least. Stunning, Jesus, was he for real?

“T-thank you. You look incredibly handsome too. Then again you always do—why did I say that.”

One corner of his lips quirked up.

“Why thank you, I’m glad you did. The feeling’s mutual, believe me.”

“Then why does this feel like one of the most awkward dates I’ve ever been to?!” you whisper-yelled, causing him to chuckle, the tips of his ears turning red.

His hand once again landed on yours, this time deliberately, the gesture warming you in more than one way.

“Well… I’m nervous. You might be too.” You hummed in agreement. Was that all it was? “But the way you said it, at least it seems to me that it could have been worse, right? More awkward?”

You felt the corners of your lips rise at the remark, shrugging. He had a point there. And he squeezed your hand a bit and good Lord, it should not be making your heart race so much, but he was touching you and he was being really sweet and his fingers were nice and warm and long-

“Tell me.”

You blinked in surprise, realizing you had been staring at your joined hands. You raised your gaze, finding him watching you with a subtle smile.

“Tell you what?”

“Tell me about the most awkward date you have ever been to,” he clarified, his thumb caressing your wrist.

You only hesitated for a beat before you nodded in agreement, god knew why. Perhaps you did need a reminder that this could have gone much more disastrously and it was mostly your traitorous brain telling you that you were messing everything up.

Plus, Steve deserved whatever he wanted – so far, he was the only reason this date wasn’t as disastrous as it could be.

“Okay. You ever been to a speed dating event, Steve? Because I have.”

“Oh, this is ought to be good,” he noted with another squeeze to your hand, before he released you. Shame. He sipped at his wine and dug into his pasta. “I’m all ears.”

This is ought to be good, Steve said. Well, maybe. You certainly hadn’t thought so at the time.

Explaining to Steve that as you had been under duress from no other than Penny, you both went to the event which promised you meeting ten dashing men in only an hour. You’d get five minutes with each, as anonymous as you’d wished to be, receiving a folder with nothing but a table with the first names of the men and a yes and no option and a line for your own notes about them.

You weren’t sure what to think of it – but after three epically failed Tinder attempts, you agreed to try. If nothing else, you’d gain a new experience.

And an experience had it been. You even lasted a month with one of the guys, but you didn’t tell Steve that. It wasn’t important.

Andr�� was.

André Whatever-was-his-last-name – because that was how it worked, no last names – definitely believed he was important. With the guys moving around the tables from one woman to another, spending five minutes with each, you could already hear André closing to your station from two tables over.

He was hard to tune out, courtesy of the colour of his voice, extremely unpleasant to your ears, and him never letting the woman he faced talk. Always interrupting. Always turning the conversation around so it would be about him.

Asshole.

You liked to think you weren’t quick to judge people, but André was making you cringe before you were even introduced. And then you actually were.

A minute into his monologue to you, you felt like you were being tortured.

And then the waitress managed to stumble and spill a glass of white wine – partly over your table, but mostly on the floor. At least she caught the glass and you had but a tiny spot on your dress.

“She was apologizing so profusely and I wasn’t thinking, okay. I went for the napkins few tables over to help and— I didn’t realize I put the open folder down for everyone to see,” you explained, feeling like face-palming when you remembered the night.

Steve watched you in anticipation, a small smirk and a knowing look on his face as he guessed you had already circled ‘no’ for André at the time.

Oh, you wished it were that simple. You felt your cheeks burn hot as you continued.

“André read it, of course. Obviously, he already got a hard ‘no’ from me, but… I might have written a tiny note for myself as to why,” you admitted and Steve’s eyebrow rose minutely, his curiosity piqued even more.

You took a deep breath.

“I wasn’t exactly kind to him. It was something along the lines of self-important asshole who probably compensated for something.” Steve huffed in amusement. But oh, if he only knew... you sighed and continued. “And If Draco Malfoy and Gilderoy Lockhart had a love child, this would be him.”

No sound came from your companion this time and your teeth anxiously sank into our lower lip, your pulse wavering. What was Steve thinking? Did he think you had been rude? Mean even? Nerdy? All of the above?

He stared at you for full three seconds, clearly rendered speechless by your harsh judgement.

And then he burst out laughing.

Suffocating weight fell from your shoulders and you silently joined him as you explained yourself.

“I was in my Harry Potter phase! And in my defence, I think it was actually pretty accurate...”

“Oh, I don’t doubt that, sweetheart,” Steve chuckled lightly before laughing some more, irises twinkling with amusement and something… softer.

You shuddered upon hearing the endearment spill unwittingly from his lips, upon seeing the emotion on his face.  And maybe you were a little proud of yourself for making him laugh and lose the tension in his shoulders completely.

“It was one of the longest and most awkward three minutes of my life, the silence that followed,” you huffed, massaging your forehead. “He did not appreciate the comparison.”

“I bet,” Steve cackled, taking another bite of his meal, smile playing in the corner of his lips as he swallowed and continued. “But you’ve got to give it to him, he knew his Harry Potter characters.”

“Ha! My thoughts exactly. But that’s a little bit of weak base for dating, I think, especially since I kinda already hated him.”

“Oh, you did? I didn’t catch that,” Steve joked lightly, causing you to smile despite the horrid memory.

And funnily enough, telling him and remembering it… it did make you feel better and more at ease with him.

“Ha ha ha, laugh it up, Professor. Your turn.”

“I’m sorry?” he said, clearly puzzled. It didn’t escape your notice as his voice faltered, his Adam’s apple bobbing at the addressing.

Oh, so that’ s still a thing. You couldn’t but smirk a bit at that.

“An awkward date. You have to share now, it’s only fair,” you shrugged, only for a terrible realization to dawn on you. “Please tell me there is at least one awkward date story, Steve. Tell me this isn’t really your worst date ever.”

He shook his head with a soft chuckle.

“Oh, there’s plenty. I’m just trying to think about one that won’t scare you away from me. I’d hate that.”

One corner of his lips raised, he looked you up and down, lingering on your lips for a bit before meeting your gaze, something you could only hope was fondness and wanton in his eyes. Your breath hitched, heat pooling in your abdomen at the thorough onceover despite the gentle tone of his voice.

Fuck how could he make you feel hot and soft at the same time.

Unable to stand the intensity of his stare, you lowered your gaze and gulped, your stomach making an excited slip. He did want you. You had been being silly, letting your nerves get the better of you.

Clearing your throat, you willed yourself to look up, finding him still watching closely – and perhaps, there was a hint of a red to his cheeks, the tip of his ears burning as if despite the blatant flirting, he was unsure of himself too, because he didn’t want to mess up with you either.

You found it absolutely endearing and your heart swelled. The way you got to see there was more to him than his professor side and his dashing looks… you felt incredibly lucky. The more you got to interact with him, the more it wasn’t just your sinful thoughts belonging to him – he was quickly working on stealing your heart as well.

Plucking up your courage, you were the one to reach out this time, carefully sweeping your thumb over the back of his hand, smiling.

“I’m not scared off all that easily, Steve.”

He mirrored your genuine smile, a glint of something you couldn’t read lighting up his eyes.

“That’s good to know,” he said lowly and sighed, narrowing his eyes as if he was assessing you again. “Alright, here goes…”

⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰

You actually managed to get one more awkward date story from Steve, because frankly, his experiences were hilarious. And surprise surprise, he was a great narrator. Plus, while he talked, you could ogle him shamelessly without fear of looking strange.

But you guessed that since you were on a date, you could ogle him anyway. He didn’t seem to mind; in fact, whenever he got the opportunity, he reciprocated it. It finally did feel like a date, the air growing thicker as you gradually shifted closer and closer, the light touches prolonging, feet meeting under the table without parting as soon as they made contact.

Your belly kept warming up with each smile and laugh, with every second of the intense eye contact, with every flicker of his gaze to your lips and vice versa. Sharing a dessert was a terrible idea, because you wanted kiss the crumbs sticking on his lips away. You teased each other, you complimented each other – with Steve absolutely winning the undeclared contest – and you realized that despite sharing your most embarrassing dates with each other at the beginning, this was the absolute best you had ever been to.

And you didn’t want it to end.

The light sweater you had brought with you did nothing to shield you from the surprisingly lukewarm wind. As you wandered the streets, Steve finally heard out one of your first thoughts you had had when meeting him today – he shrugged off his suit jacket.

Which… yum. The seams of his shirt were crying for help and you could only think fo one way of helping them – taking his shirt off too. But alas, Steve didn’t continue the striptease, probably because you were on the street. Instead, he did the most wholesome thing and held out the jacket for you to slip into.

You only hesitated a moment, teeth sinking into your lower lip. How could you say no to that?

“That’s awfully cliché and really sweet at the same time,” you muttered, causing him to shrug, one corner of his lips raised in a smirk as he helped you put it on, forefinger most definitely deliberately caressing the side of your throat before withdrawing.

A shudder ran down your spine, electrifying feeling going straight to your core. The whiff of whatever cologne he was wearing enveloped you, clouding your senses. Goddammit he smelled so good.

“Maybe I just want to see you in my clothes,” he hummed, the suggestive remark knocking the breath straight out of your lungs.

Stepping to your side from behind your back, you caught a glimpse of his expression – a little bit smug, a little bit panicked as it probably registered with him just how much suggestive it was, perhaps crossing a line.

It was absolutely not crossing the line, because the thought of wearing his clothes, preferably grabbing it because you couldn’t find yours after you threw it all around the room as you frantically stripped each other was making your head spin in the best way.

“Maybe I’d really enjoy wearing your clothes after you rip off mine.”

Steve’s jaw went slack, a choked noise leaving him and you couldn’t but laugh at his dumbstruck expression. Surprise, professor, you little shit. I can keep up.

“That was… mean,” he said, clearing his throat. Your eyebrows rose, pot calling the kettle back style. “But I see how I deserved that.”

“Damn right… but that doesn’t mean it’s a lie,” you shrugged, chuckling at the exasperated look he shot you.

‘Man, she’s gonna fuck you up on a whole new level and I’ll be here for it in the front row with a bowl of popcorn,’ Barnes’ words to Steve which you weren’t meant to hear echoed in your head, making you grin.

The teasing was intense, yet you felt comfortable in it. You blamed Steve and his nature – he already felt like a guy to go lengths to make you feel at ease enough; the way he had kept insisting on you choosing whether this was a date or not only proved it. He made it easy to be yourself, making you feel like you could.

And he made it perfectly clear that he was enjoying seeing you like that, that he appreciated you as you were.

But the closer you got to the campus, the more the reality was settling in, your laughter fading, butterflies and heat replaced by anxiety. He was still a professor. If you went for it, it wouldn’t always be uncomplicated like this. The awkwardness crept in as your steps grew slower, the inevitable arriving.

He couldn’t walk you home, to walk you to the dorm, even if the desire to do so radiated from every fibre of his being. He couldn’t do that for the same reason he hadn’t picked you up.

You came to a stop, feeling like there was this invisible border to a safe, students-free part of the city, the line you couldn’t cross side by side.

“So, uhm… this is it, huh?” Steve hummed, grim. You appreciated the lame attempt at a smile though and reciprocated, turning to face him.

“Looks like it.”

Heavy silence settled over you pair. Your eyes trailed all over him, lingering on his face, noting as he did the same. He was beautiful; you didn’t care you should say that about a man. He was. The light in his eyes dimmed compared to that just a few moments ago, but it was still there, expression soft, almost as soft as his beard looked, causing your fingers to twitch in need to run them over it and pull him in for a kiss.

Your lips tingled as the idea. You had never kissed a man with a beard and you wanted to know how it felt. The fact it was Steve only sealed the deal and made the need grow exponentially.

You wanted to kiss him so bad. But here you stood, unable to move, unable to speak. You sighed.

“Would you-“ “I want to-“

“Sorry,” you and him said at the same time again, laughing it off quietly, your fingers running through your hair.

Your stomach clenched when you noticed his eyes following the movement almost wistfully.

“You go first,” he prompted you gently.

You didn’t argue – if you learned one thing tonight, it was that Steve was a gentleman and that was so rare these days that you wouldn’t want to discourage him from being that way. Even if you really wanted to know what he was about to say, as soon as possible.

“I… I just want to say thank you. For the… for the date. I had a good time, so I hope you had too, at least a little,” you offered lamely, feeling blood rushing to your cheeks.

Like a schoolgirl blushing in front of her professor. Jesus, why were you being like this again.

Steve didn’t seem to find you as awkward as you felt however, your name slipping from his lips, kind and soft.

“I had a very good time. You’re amazing.” Your lips parted at the blatant and genuine compliment. His eyes went wide. “I’m sorry, that came out so strong, I didn’t mean to put you in spot like that-“

Stronger than ‘maybe I just want to see you in my clothes?’ you asked yourself. No, you didn’t think so. It was just that the playfulness had left at least two blocks back.

This felt more serious. More intimate.

“Ditto,” you whispered, gracing him with a shy smile he instantly mirrored. “But hey, I already knew that, so…”

He chuckled, shaking his head lightly, his smile only growing. When he looked at you again, his eyes were the beautiful warm blue that made you weak in the knees.

“Would you like to do something like that again?” he queried lowly.

Yes. YES. YES PLEASE. Minus the awkwardness at the beginning and the one a moment ago, preferably.  

“Yeah. I’d like that,” you agreed simply, taking note of how his face lit up even more.

How could a man be so indescribably hot and yet adorable enough to tug at your heartstrings?

“Good. I’m glad.”

He tugged at your hand unexpectedly, pulling you to your left, his other hand steadying you by gently grasping your forearm.

Before you could question his actions, a pair of men swaying in a drunken haze passed you, having no care in the world for whom they might crash into.

“Thanks,” blurted out lowly, sparing a second to shoot their backs a dirty glare.

But Steve’s hands were still on you, distracting, as you stood face to face, chest to chest, a little too close, a little too far. Your heart sped up in your ribcage, breathing picking up in anticipation. So close…

But all Steve did was to squeeze your forearm reassuringly, lifting your joined hands to his face.

Just like the day you agreed to get coffee with him, he kissed your knuckles, only this time it was much firmer. His smile was sweet and utterly irresistible as he kept looking at your face and you felt all the worries about the future melt away once again.

He was so precious and this felt so right and--- you didn’t want him to kiss your hand.

Well, you wanted it, but you wanted more too.

You had been aching to kiss that mouth since you had first set eyes on him, on that inhumanly gorgeous and hot creature. You were on a date, you both had a great time and clearly he was giving you the opportunity to decide how far you wanted to take this, because as much as every little touch of his made to crazy, the displays of affection were positively chaste.

And you wanted to take it very very far.

Your rational brain wouldn’t let you just hop into sac with him today, but fuck, you could do with a kiss. You wanted to feel that perfectly trimmed beard of his and you wanted to taste him.

Did he?

You stepped even closer as he let go of your hand, distracting you minutely; due to the sudden proximity, it landed on his chest and Jesus fucking Christ he was firm.

Your fingers clutched at the white fabric of his shirt as you observed his face, your gaze inevitably flickering to his lips. Glancing up once more to find him still watching you intently, pupils dilated, your breath caught in your throat, heat stirring in your belly.

Rising to your tiptoes, you gripped the fabric tighter and shortly pressed your lips to his.

It was a funny feeling – lips hot, soft and slightly chapped, a stark contrast to the beard, less rough than you expected, leaving a tingly sensation behind. It was different; exciting and addicting. Before he could react and before you could think twice, you kissed him again, this time lingering for a few seconds, your eyelids falling shut.

Your heart fluttered when you felt his lips reluctantly respond just as you withdrew, his grip on your arm tightening. You ran your tongue over your lips to savour the feeling, mouth instinctively curling up in a smile, gaze meeting his.

Little wrinkles appeared around his eyes as he smiled as well.

“You okay?”

You nodded, almost too eagerly, lowering back to your whole feet. Involuntarily, your gaze flickered to his mouth again, wanting more.

“Uhm… beard,” you piped up unhelpfully, pressing your lips together as soon as the admission left them.

Steve’s smile widened as he once again grasped your hand, leading it to cup his face – not before he dropped a kiss to your palm.

You almost let out a very embarrassing whine at the curious sensation, your mind, still enveloped in Steve’s warmth and cologne, wondering how the beard would feel elsewhere.

Your fingers unwittingly caressed the hair, thumb brushing his lips, unable to resist.

His Adam’s apple bobbed, lips parting, hot breath fanning over your skin as watched you.

“Sweetheart,” he breathed out and that was it – you pressed against the soft swollen flesh at the pet name, causing a low grumble echo in Steve’s chest.

And then his hand slid to your waist, the other sinking into your hair, and he pulled up into a kiss that had nothing to do with how patient he had been before. He was still a gentleman, but it was a close call – he angled your head to his liking, his lips dancing with yours in a sensual dance with just a tease of tongue licking at the seam of your lips, causing you to sigh in bliss, granting him access.

He hummed appreciatively, the sound shaking your bones as he held you flat against him, the heat of his body seeping into yours – as if every nerve ending in your body wasn’t on fire already. He breathed you in, consumed you entirely – there were no other words for it.

There weren’t many words you could think of to begin with, too busy feeling his broad shoulders under your palm, fingers roaming to find the soft hair at his nape, revelling at the taste of him, just a smidge of tongue and you wanted more, your insides twisting in need--- and oh, your back was pressed against a wall now.

You let out a small startled sound which Steve instantly swallowed – but it was a good wake up call for you both. The motions of his lips slowed, softened, a gentle caress more than anything, his thumb stroking your cheek.

Breathless, you chased after his mouth when he retreated, earning one small peck and then another. He rested his forehead against yours, nose briefly skimming yours, causing you to smile and meet his gaze.

“Sorry,” he muttered and you genuinely wanted to slap his arm or something for apologizing for that. Because you knew what you’d be thinking about for the next few hours, days even, hell, probably weeks. “For springing out like that. I just… wanted to do that for a long time.”

The admission had your heart skip a beat and you couldn’t but lean in to kiss the corner of his mouth – and nope, you weren’t over how it felt, his beard against your lips. You wouldn’t be over it for a long time, you suspected.

“Me too.”

“So… we’re doing this again, right?“

You smirked up at him as he reluctantly released you. “You springing out like that or-“

“Don’t test me, babygirl,” he nearly growled, causing your eyes going wide as saucers, feeling as if you were sucker punched to your gut – and liked it.

Babygirl. Jesus, he was going to be the death of you.

“You can spring out like that again too,” you chimed, your voice sounding a bit strangled, because holy shit he just called you that. His gaze flickered all over your face, a shade darker than before. Your underwear was thoroughly ruined with that single look… and the earlier make-out session. “But if we’re talking second dates, I’d definitely do that too.”

He huffed and shook his head, a chuckle escaping him.

“You’re a minx…. I think I like it.”

You grinned at him and then sighed regretfully, reaching to slip off the jacket, which made him frown.

“You could give it back later.”

“Don’t tempt me… don’t want to rob you of it--- and there would be questions,” you explained, knowing that even walking around the campus like what would raise rumours of god knew what.

Like, maybe someone would think some gentleman like Professor Steve Rogers himself lent it to you or something, gee, where would that come from...

Steve nodded in understanding, accepting the jacket and shrugging it on.

“Plus, I’m thoroughly warmed up,” you added cheekily, causing him to chuckle incredulously again. With a sigh, he leaned in, cradling your jaw in one large hand and pressed a sweet lingering kiss to your forehead.

You could melt on spot.

“Goodnight, sweetheart. Let me know when you get home safe?” he asked of you gently, tugging at your heartstrings some more, because of course he did.

“I will. You too?”

His smile was soft and sweet as he promised to do so, clearly touched by your care. Well, that made two of you.

“Goodnight, Steve. Thank you for tonight.”

“Thank you.”

You breathed in deeply, dropping a last kiss to his cheek and quickly spun on your heels to walk away – because if you wavered a second longer, you might have not left at all.

Sure, you looked back at him several times, finding him standing where you had left him, his eyes following your receding figure. But you kept walking.

And once you couldn’t see him anymore, you broke into a fit of giggles, hiding your face in your palms to muffle your delighted squeal.

You were just coming back to the dorms from the date with Steve Rogers.

And despite the hiccups, it was the best damn thing in the world, leaving you giddy and already craving another date and more. Your cheeks hurt from smiling by the time you made it to the dorms, your heart pounding excitedly the whole time.

As promised, you let Steve know you made there safe, earning another text with a heart. It only made you squeal again, fingers frantic as you replied – and with a kiss for goodnight so he knew you truly enjoyed your night, ending included.

What he didn’t know was that maybe, just maybe, the next evening you wrote a tiny story in which you elaborated at what could happen if he ever pushed you against a wall and kissed your breathless ever again.

And hopefully, he would.

Soon.

⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰

Attached masterlist

⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰

...how it happened? I was asked about the first date, very kindly and in a no pressure manner.

S: Hey, just out of curiosity, you don’t really have to answer… how do you imagine their first date went?

me: Hm, let me think, I guess, mm, it would be like this--- oh shit. Oh no. It’s gonna be a fic again, isn’t it? Maybe I could finally write a headcanon or a drabble--- sigh.

As if I could ever.

Thank you for reading :-*

[jasontoddswhitestreak]

what died didn’t stay dead

(originally posted by vormirjumper)

dedicated to @starsvck and @artipotter hope u enjoy this <333

summary: the last thing you remember was fainting in wakanda thinking you saw your own fingertips turn to dust only to wake up in a world where natasha romanoff no longer existed. inspired by marjorie by taylor swift

content warning: natasha romanoff x fem!reader, set after endgame, angst, mentions of death, trauma, their relationship ending on a bad note, trust issues & previous steve x nat, (WANDAVISION SPOILERS AT THE END)

‘моя любовь’ = ‘my love’ in russian <3

REQUESTS ARE OPEN! (please lmk if anyone written something similar to this! & if you want more nat content lmk!)

masterlist

PART TWO

You forced your eyes open.

Pulling yourself up from the ground you glanced at your arms in confusion. You swore you saw your own hands turn to dust before fainting. You glanced around to take in your surroundings eyes widening in shock as you saw the hundreds of Wakandan's you fought beside minutes ago appearing out of dust. You stared speechless as you watched people materialise out of thin air, the dust forming into fingers, then a whole hand and eventually becoming a person who's mirroring your exact reaction.

You felt guilty about the first thought that came across your mind.

'Is Nat okay?' You panicked while rushing to look around, ignoring how you spent the last few years loathing her to hide your heartbreak.

You were an avenger since the beginning. The two of you were on the same team during the airport fight which wasn't surprising due to your history together. Despite the slight age difference between the two of you, your personalities worked well together which is why you got along well, so well in fact that those platonic feelings you thought you had for her developed into something more and somehow you found yourself in her bed many times in her arms with your bodies pressed against one another's, struggling to catch your breath, bliss written all over your face. Your legs were intertwined with hers as you embraced the warmth radiating off her. You refused to acknowledge the unspoken tension in the atmosphere due to the fear of speaking out about your feelings and end up ruining what you had. You couldn't help but let the insecurities build up as you gently caressed her cheek, her eyes met yours back in adoration, full of what could've been love.

But you knew she once looked at him in the same way.

"I love holding you in my arms моя любовь." She muttered, as she stroked your hair gently, you hummed in response, not trusting your own voice. What you both had felt right, you didn't want to ruin it, you didn't want to label what you had together due to the job you both have. Being an avenger doesn't exactly mean stability, anything could happen.

You remember the panic you felt when Ultron took her, the chance of losing her filled you with dread, but you also had faith. You knew how strong Natasha was. Your faith gave you strength and it kept you alive, Nat admired that about you.

The two of you fit together well, whether it was on the field or outside of the field. You could predict each other's moves and although telepathy isn't either of your powers, you know what the other was thinking. You made her better. You helped her wipe out the red in her ledger and when everyone's files was exposed to the globe you were right there by her side comforting her as she feared the reaction from everyone. You were there for her when nobody was and you stood by her side no matter what. Those feelings were reciprocated, you knew Natasha would've done anything for you.

She would even sacrifice herself for the possibility of you coming back.

Then the Accords happened and Nat betrayed the Accords, ending up on the run with Steve, Sam, Wanda and Vision. You were left alone at the compound with an injured Rhodey.

"How could you do this?" You spat out, voice full of hatred as you watched Natasha let Steve and Bucky get away. Your pistol shook in the palm of your hands, pointed directly at Natasha who lowered her own onto the ground, allowing herself to be defenceless.

"It's not that easy моя любовь, you out of all people should understand that." She explained, and you scoffed in response. The pet-name which once caused a flutter in your stomach now fuelling the fire that's building up. All the insecurities you felt during your relationship suddenly turned to hatred. You should've expected this, you should've expected that after all this time she would've chosen Steve over you.

"I guess you'll never change." You responded flatly, admitting defeat. You silently walked passed her and climbed out of the rubble that was created, allowing a wall to be in between the two of you not knowing you tore a piece of her heart as you did so.

That was two years ago.

You thought you'd never have to see her for a long time. You hoped you wouldn't have to see her. Clearly things never go the way you wanted it to go as you found yourself staring back at the person who once owned your heart.

"Well, you guys look like crap." Rhodey teased, wrapping the fellow avengers in his arms as you stood to the side, awkwardly watching the scene in front of you while fidgeting with your fingers. The atmosphere in the compound was comforting, it's been a long time since you've heard so much laughter in one room despite the war that's brewing.

Natasha, who was now blonde but as gorgeous as ever, hesitantly approached you. The two of you stared at each other, waiting for the other to make the next move.

"Romanoff." You nodded, greeting her before moving away to greet the other Avengers, missing the way she muttered the now bittersweet name she specifically picked you.

"моя любовь..."

Did she really love you? Or was it just for revenge? You believed that love blinded you, you managed to convince yourself that your love wasn't enough for her and that's why she left you. Your relationship with her died. It was over. You thought you buried it all, all your feelings. But you were wrong, when your eyes met her green eyes all those feelings came back to life, flowing through your veins.

After all this time you still loved her.

But your feelings for her weren't the only thing you couldn't bury.

Within an hour of reuniting with the Avengers, the team found themselves on the quinjet travelling to Wakanda. You wouldn't have said this out loud but you had faith that everything would be okay, Nat was finally by your side after all these years.

You felt as though nothing could go wrong.

That was a couple hours ago you estimated, you glance at Wanda who appeared a couple feet away from you the tears were evident on her face.

"Where is he?" Wanda cries out, clenching her fists, you saw the scarlet red energy glowing around her. You knew she must've been talking about Vsision who should've been on the ground next to her. "Wha- why does everything look different?" You realised, noticing the damages caused by the battle has disappeared. The grass was greener as ever. The corpses of the creatures you fought were no longer on the ground.

It looked as though the battle never took place.

You ran over to Wanda, helping her up from the ground when you hear someone call your name out. "That sounds like Sam." Wanda points out as the two of you held each other up.

"Wanda!" Sam called out.

"Come on, we gotta go! They need us! The fights not over yet!" He shouts from a distance, the two of you made your way to the direction you heard his voice come from, you saw all the superheroes surrounding him and a man in a red cloak. "What about Nat? Or Rhodey?" You questioned, looking for them in the crowd. You missed the sympathetic glance the man shot you before waving his hands up in the air, creating a yellow ring in the air that transformed into a portal.

"We're going to fight beside them right now." Sam confirms before flying through the portal.

The compound was completely destroyed. Your home was crumbling apart. Thor looked completely different, Tony had grey hair and Natasha was nowhere to be seen.

You wanted to finally tell her, tell her that you loved her with all of your heart.

You fought beside hundreds of Avengers that day, but you couldn't help searching for one specific Avenger. You ran over to Clint who was on the ground struggling to fight off a bunch of creatures, saving him within moments.

"Thanks kid." He pant, out of breath from all of the fighting. You smiled at him in response, reaching your hand out for him to take which he gratefully took, lifting himself up. "Have you bumped into Nat on the battlefield yet?" You asked, hopeful. There were hundreds of people fighting so you didn't expect to find her easily. The smile on Clint's face fell.

In that moment he relieved everything that happened moments ago. Flying to Vormir with Natasha, climbing the cliff with her, reminiscing about Budapest. And the way he witnessed her body hit the ground, the crack echoing so loudly he managed to hear it more than just once. He glanced down the cliff and saw her lifeless body faced towards his.

His closest friend. The person he trusted with his entire life. The person he named his son after. The Godmother of his kids.

Gone.

Just like that.

"I need to do this for her Clint, she's моя любовь." Nat whispered to him before smiling back at the oldest friend she had, pushing away from the cliff and inevitably falling to her death.

You found out what happened to Natasha, hours after.

The Avengers won, but at the cost of the lives of the people you cared the most about, the person you'd do anything for and the person who owned your heart the minute you met them. Clint broke the news to you, he felt as though you deserved to hear it from him.

"She loved you till the very end." He finished after explaining what happened on Vormir. You felt as though you couldn't breathe, like your soul was crushed and pulled away from you.

Natasha Romanoff was dead and there was nothing you could do about it.

She never got to hear that you felt the same towards her.

"I didn't think the ending to be so soon." You struggled to hold back a sob, holding the letter Clint gave you tightly in your arms. Scott somehow found a letter on the ground while trying to save Clint, it was slightly damp and covered in mud. But it was written for you in Natasha's handwriting.

You couldn't bring yourself to read the letter even nine days after the blip. You had to live in a world without her, a world where people drag her name through the mud even though she is the reason they're still standing. You adjust to a world without Natasha Romanoff and reading a letter she wrote for you months ago wouldn't help.

You regretted everything. You regret spending those last few years in anger, you should've stayed with her, you could've told her how much she meant to you. You could've told her you loved her, you could've held her in your arms once more. You would do anything to have her in your arms once again.

Sometimes it felt as though she was still there, laughing at something she saw on the TV. You always felt her presence around you after she passed away, it felt as though she never died. It felt as though a part of her lives through you.

You sat in the passenger seat of Wanda's car, staring at the Sword logo plastered on the side of the building, you could feel the letter in your back pocket, dying to be read. Wanda made her way back to the car, face flared in anger, tears threatening to spill.

"Wanda?" You called out as she got into the car, turning on the ignition but not pulling out of the car park. She sniffled quietly, wiping her eyes before glancing back to you. "I saw him." She responded, her eyes glancing to the folded paper on the backseat of the car, she could see the faint colour of red that was in the shape of a heart. "But they're not letting him have a funeral." You realised, looking back at your friend, heartbroken. "I figured at least one of them deserved a funeral, it's not fair. It's not fair that the world can just go on like nothing happened and we don't get to mourn the people we lost." Wanda rants, pulling out of the parking lot and beginning to drive.

"They both deserve a funeral." You agreed solemnly, remembering the fact that Natasha's body is at the bottom of a cliff in space in 2014.

"Where are we going now?" You asked, wanting to distract yourself from that thought. You felt as though you and Wanda were left to mourn your loved ones alone as the rest of the avengers scattered across the country.

"To the only thing I have left of him."

The two of you sat in silence as Wanda drove, you stared at the shrubbery outside the window before closing your eyes and resting your head on the window, allowing yourself to drift off.

It felt like it was only seconds later when you felt the car turn harshly, you opened your eyes and glanced around in confusion when you saw that you pulled into a quaint town, you had only just missed the town sign plastered with the words "West View." You watched the pedestrians walking by, noticing how some of them sat on their own with no one to comfort them similarly to you and Wanda.

The two of you pulled up to a plot of land with the foundation of a house on the ground, it looked at though the house never had the chance to get completed.

"Stay in the car, I won't take long." Wanda reassured you before reaching towards the back of the car to grab the folded up sheet of paper and getting out of the car. You nodded, staring at the built house next to the plot of land.

Your mind wanders as you stare at the home. You think about Natasha. You think about the future you could've had with her, living together in a quaint home like the one in front of you. No stress about being an avenger, just the two of you and your family. You softly smile as you imagine Natasha's reaction to wanting to adopt 5 cats, knowing she was more of cat person. You imagine holding her hand while walking down the street and watching movies with her in your shared bed. You wanting to stay in for the day and watch movies to ignore the real world outside and her letting you.

You think about what could've been.

A heart wrenching scream snaps you out of your thoughts, you rush out of the car and look for Wanda but is blinded by a scarlet red light that knocks you unconscious.

Your eyes open on command.

The room you stood in was black and white. It was a nicely decorated living room with a dining room connected to it, you couldn't pinpoint which decade the interior was from, too preoccupied by the woman standing in front of you.

Although the lack of colour in them, you could recognise those eyes from anywhere, that smile that you've wished to see was right in front of you. The dress she wore matched the decade and decor of the room, her hair curled up neatly. Natasha stood in front of you, reaching her hand out towards you waiting for you to take it.

You hesitantly reach out towards her, happiness flooding your emotions. She pulls you closer to her, welcoming you into a hug. The palm of her hands are warm as they rested on your back, you could feel her heartbeat as you laid your head on her chest, melting in her arms.

"Welcome home моя любовь."

[fandomficsnstuff]

Little Dragon - Part 8

Summary: You were a child slave of Meereen, when one day a silver haired woman sets you free. Though your master isn’t too keen on letting you go, and Daenerys took personal action to see you freed and taken care of.

High Valyrian is in cursive

You were listening intently to the conversations going on in the war room, so many faces that you wanted to remember, their names, their houses, their history, but for now you settled on staying silent and listening, “are you really sure we can discuss this around her?” your head snapped towards the accented voice, seeing a beautiful woman with olive skin, black hair and dark brown eyes, and you wanted to look to your mother for help, but decided that you couldn’t use her as a pillar forever “(Y/N) Targaryen, Lady…?” you couldn’t help your tone, you were not a little girl wearing a collar around her neck anymore, jumping at the slightest of sounds. You were still timid and childish with Daenerys and Missandei, because you knew you could afford it, but you didn’t know these people, they were allies of your mother, but you didn’t know them.

“Ellaria” she sounded tense as she responded, she probably hadn't known you were the daughter of Daenerys, but you merely nodded “well, Lady Ellaria, I would prefer that if you are done questioning who your Queen trusts, perhaps we could get back to planning the war we are currently in” you heard a short laugh, your eyes glancing to none other than Olenna Tyrell, the Queen of Thorns, and the only living Tyrell left. “Are you sure you did not birthe her? She has the spirit of a dragon that one” Daenerys did everything to not smirk proudly at Olenna’s comment, and even Ellaria looked a bit surprised at your response “now… I agree that a foreign army would send the wrong signal, but an army from Westeros, it would show that we are not here to raid and pillage, the Dothraki will not do so unless their Khaleesi orders and my mother never will, the Unsullied are obedient and loyal, so they won’t either, but we need Westeros with us, and showing that their own houses are turning on Cercei is a good way to win quickly and without a lot of losses, on either side”, you studied the map as you spoke, unaware of the impressed looks everyone gave you, Tyrion being the first to speak up “well… I agree” you glanced at him and sent him a quick smile, one of the few smiles you had offered him, but you didn’t really know him either, so it was justified that you didn’t treat him, or Varys, as warmly as the rest of your mother’s allies.

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You stood impatiently besides Daenerys in the throne room, and Daenerys couldn’t help the amused glance she shared with Missandei “alright go, but change before you do!” you barely even heard the rest of her sentence, you were already off, heading towards your room. In record breaking time you changed from your formal dress to a special outfit you had made for you. You had been riding Rhaegal much more frequently, and today were the day of the arrival of Jon Snow, King in the North, and you had promised to stay for his arrival and then ride Rhaegal after, but you couldn’t help fidgeting, and were more than happy that Daenerys excused you. You put on your leather trousers, securing them with a harness that was connected to them, ensuring that they didn’t fall down, not even an inch, you had a tunic under your harness, pulling a shortened cloak over your shoulders and tying it to the harness, making sure the knots were tight, the cloak was warm but light, it reached just below your hips, but kept you warm. Next you threw on a pair of gloves made from cloth on the inside and leather on the outside, and then your boots, they were high, they almost reached your knees, and you pulled the laces tight, so they wouldn’t fall off during the flight.

Your room had an open balcony, just like Daenerys’, and you approached the edge, grinning widely as you waited. You couldn’t help the excited giggle you let out as you heard him roar as he came closer, and in a leap of faith you jumped off of the balcony, you let out a little huff as you landed on scales, and a few moments later you got a good grip, holding onto Rhaegal as you flew away from the castle, going high up and then soaring, admiring the landscape below, seeing a ship you presumed belonged to Jon Snow, you flew towards Drogon and Viseryon who were flying on the other side of the island. You could still just about watch Tyrion greet Jon Snow, and saw them making their way towards the entrance.

A wicked smile grazed your lips as you got an idea, and somehow Drogon, Viserion and Rhaegal knew what your plan was, Rhaegal let out an ear shattering roar as you held on tightly, flying towards Tyrion and the two men he were leading up the long stone staircase. You leaned forward as you flew closer to the ground, Rhaegal barely managing to not hit the small people below, something that made you laugh loudly and you couldn’t help but cheer, Tyrion seeing you on Rhaegal as you waved at him, and you could see him shake his head, but you also knew of the smile he tried to hide, he was probably telling Jon that he himself wasn’t used to the presence of the dragons.

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You heaved heavily as you ran into the throne room, your hair wild from the wind, your chest rising dramatically as you tried to catch your breath, standing besides Daenerys who did her very best to not smirk at you proudly, instead she tried to look as regal as ever, waiting patiently for this, Jon Snow, to arrive.

Rhaegal had barely managed to throw you off on the open balcony you jumped out of earlier, you almost bumped into a few tables on your way to the throne room, a fact that made you smile amused before trying to hide it. “Well, at least you made it back in time” her words could be mistaken as scolding, but you knew her better, and you couldn’t help the breathless giggle you let out “think I scared an inch or so off of Lord Tyrion” Daenerys let out a short, although quiet, laugh at your comment, shooting you a very poor attempt of a scolding gaze before looking back towards the large doors at the end of the throne room, making you straighten your back, your smile faltering and your hands placed in front of yourself, as you always did when you had attended any court meeting.

You watched the two strangers as Missandei went down the list of titles that your Queen had acquired along the way, something you took great pride in, she was your mother after all.

“And this is (Y/N) Targaryen, daughter of Queen Daenerys Stormborn, princess of the Seven Kingdoms and heir to the throne” Missandei finally ended, and the two men looked at you confused, giving you the impression that they didn’t know that much about your mother, and therefore you, they had probably only heard rumours, lies or other falsehoods, and therefore didn’t know of your existence, which was probably not a bad thing. You had heard of how the usurper King Robert Baratheon had sent assassins to kill Daenerys, even while she was pregnant, so who says they wouldn’t have been sent after you, back then nothing more than a little girl, had the usurper's children heard of your existence, and Daenerys’ love for you. You were snapped out of your day dream as Daenerys got up, approaching Jon Snow and his adviser, and first now you tuned in on their conversation, a small frown resting on your brows, hearing her words, but you couldn’t deny the pride it gave you, despite hearing all that she had suffered, “I was born at Dragonstone. Not that I can remember it. We fled before Robert's assassins could find us. Robert was your father's best friend, no? I wonder if your father knew his best friend sent assassins to murder a baby girl in her crib. Not that it matters now, of course. I spent my life in foreign lands. So many men have tried to kill me, I don't remember all their names. I have been sold like a broodmare. I've been chained and betrayed, raped and defiled. Do you know what kept me standing, through all those years in exile? Faith. Not in any god, not in myths and legends. In myself. In Daenerys Targaryen. The world hadn't seen a dragon in centuries, until my children were born. The Dothraki hadn't crossed the sea, any sea. They did for me. I was born to rule the Seven Kingdoms, and I will, and so will my daughter.” Her gaze turned to you for a brief moment and you smiled proudly, one she proudly returned before turning back to Jon Snow.

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You frowned as you watched your mother study the map in silence, you wanted to say something, you really did, but what could you say? The Iron Fleet was gone, Yara and Ellaria had been taken prisoner and Jon Snow refused to bend the knee and instead only wants to hack away at some mysterious stone somewhere in a cave on the island, claiming that an army of undead people and giants are the true enemy.

You couldn’t help the sigh that escaped your lips, you being the only one to actually make a sound in the entire map room “maybe…” you dared a glance at your mother, not that you feared her, but more that you knew of the thin ice you were balancing on “maybe you should just let him mine this… ‘dragonglass’... it means nothing to you after all” Daenerys looked to you slowly, and for a second everyone in the room were praying to whoever and whatever that you hadn’t crossed a line, but when you received no response, you continued, “you didn’t know it was there, no one did… there are two options here, either he’s right, in which it doesn’t hurt you or your army or your dragons to comply, or he’s mad, and it won’t hurt you, your army or your dragons either. There’s no outcome here where anything bad is an outcome, you complying will also show that yes, you are to be feared, but you are also complying and reasonable, and allowing one man, one person to mine something of no value is a sign that you are with the people of Westeros” there was another second of silence, but eventually Daenerys smiled at you, walked over to you and placed a gentle hand on your cheek, looking at you with a proud look in her eyes before walking off.

“Where is she going?” Tyrion looked at you baffled and confused, but you simply shrugged “to allow Jon Snow to mine the Dragonglass” you leaned over the map table, studying the different areas, looking at the different highlighted places, such as King’s Landing, Winterfell, all the places you’ve only ever read about, you couldn't wait to see them for real.

[sapphosclown]

Kiss Him You Fool - Willex Oneshot

aka willie and flynn are best friends and she’s done with this mutual pining bullshit. (boys are alive bc i didn’t feel like thinking about ghost logistics today lmao)

so i didn’t get to participate in willex week nearly as much as i wanted to so this is my song fic/au fic (i guess? since the guys are alive? idk) for free day since i didn’t get the idea till last night at 1am. anyways i also didn’t sign up for the gift exchange but i still wanna dedicate this fic to @fairygclds for hosting this week bc she did an amazing job and i love her v much, ty mari <3

title is from Kiss Her You Fool by Kids That Fly, cute song highly recommend

rbs and comments appreciated :)

———

———

That was real right? He didn’t make that up in his head? That happened. Right?

Willie was abruptly knocked out of their thoughts as his board hit a crack in the sidewalk, sending him onto the pavement, scraping his knee. Although, the stinging did help them snap out of the daze he was in, making him realize that yes, this is real life, and yes, he and Alex Mercer almost kissed.

***

“Stop, you’re not allowed to be that good at everything.” Willie teased as Alex just barely completed a loop around him.

“I feel like we are experiencing different timelines here or something.” Alex let out a shaky laugh as he flailed his arms in an attempt to regain the balance he’d just lost. Luckily, Willie held out their arm for him to grab just in time.

“Come on, you’re doing great! Just need to have a little more faith in yourself.” Willie smiled gently, offering extra support with his free hand.

Alex scoffed. “I think I’m a roller skating kind of guy.”

“Well, I disagree but if that’s how you feel—”

Alex rolled his eyes, making Willies stomach flutter. He helped him off the skateboard and they sat down on the couch in the studio. Willie ignored the fact that despite having the entire couch to themselves, they sat right up against each other, and he especially ignored the way their knees touching made his heart beat faster than normal.

“Actually, I think solid ground is where it’s at.” Alex said, only half-joking.

“I guess, but the wheels add some spice that solid ground could never live up to.”

“Exactly. You know exactly what you’re getting with solid ground. Me and wheels have a complicated relationship.”

“Oh really? You guys have a falling out?” Willie teased.

“Ha, yeah. There was some falling.” Alex gave a sarcastic laugh.

“But that’s the fun part! You can get some pretty rad scars from skating.” Willie pointed out.

“‘Rad?’ What, are you from the 80’s?”

“Listen—” Willie shushed him, shoving his shoulder into him playfully.

They laughed for a moment before falling into a comfortable silence. Willie was really tempted to lay his head onto Alex’s shoulder, or hold his hand.

His hand was right there. It would be so easy... But instead he grabbed their own hand and started messing with their fingers.

“So, what are your plans for the rest of the day?” He asked lamely.

“We’re rehearsing for our gig tomorrow night. Luke and Julie are going over the set list one last time right now but we should be starting pretty soon.” Alex replied, checking the time on his phone before looking back at Willie. “Actually, if you wanna hangout while we rehearse, I don’t think they’d mind.”

“Oh, yeah! That sounds great!” Willie smiled.

“Cool.” Alex nodded, and maybe he was seeing things, but Willie could’ve sworn his cheeks were turning pink. That made him giggle.

“So, what’s the set list then?” They asked curiously. He shifted his body so that he could look at Alex, only mildly upset about the loss of contact, but being able to see the faded pink in Alex’s cheeks made up for it.

“Well, usually we start with Edge of Great, but Julie and Luke wrote this new song that is perfect to open with and I just know everyone’s gonna love it—”

Willie stared at Alex as he rambled on about the show and they couldn’t help the soft smile on their lips. Alex noticed almost immediately and stopped talking, almost embarrassed.

“What?” He asked.

“No, it’s nothing.” Willie said, waving his hand for them to move past it.

“No, I feel like you’re judging me!” Alex giggled.

“No! I’m not judging you!” Willie reassured. “You’re just really cute when you talk about music.” He said softly.

Alex went bright red. “Oh.” He replied in the same tone.

The air around them went quiet again, but this time filled with a different feeling. The feeling that there was nothing else in the world but the two of them. And suddenly their faces were a lot closer than Willie had realized. His eyes flicked down to Alex’s lips subconsciously and then back to his eyes, which he found were doing the same thing. There was nothing stopping him, all he had to do was lean in just a little bit more...

“WHO’S READY TO MAKE SOME MUSIC!” Reggie called excitedly as he entered the garage, making Willie and Alex jump apart. Reggie eyed them suspiciously. “Oh, hey Willie.” He said, eyebrows pulled together like he was piecing together what just happened.

“Hey.” Willie breathed uncomfortably. He felt like he couldn’t get enough air.

“Are you gonna hangout for rehearsal?” Reggie asked.

“Actually, uh, I gotta get going.” Willie sputtered before his brain could catch up to his mouth. They stood up and grabbed their things messily.

“I thought you said—”

“I just remembered I have to do something.” Willie cut Alex off. “I’ll see you tomorrow though?”

“Yeah. Yeah, okay.” Alex said quietly, failing at hiding his disappointment and making Willies chest ache.

“Cool.” Willie said. “See ya.” He threw an awkward peace sign at Reggie (who gave him one back) and skated out of the garage as fast as he possibly could.

***

“You are a disaster.” Flynn scolded, grabbing a dinosaur band-aid out of her desk drawer.

“I know!” Willie yelled into her pillow. She plopped down onto the bed in front of him.

“Why didn’t you just kiss him! You had the opportunity and he clearly wanted to kiss you too!” She yelled.

“I don’t know!” Willie whined, throwing the pillow back down into his lap. “I wanted to but I froze! And then Reggie showed up and I couldn’t stay after that! What if he didn’t want that to happen, what if he hates me now!”

“He doesn’t hate you! He’s very clearly in love with you, I don’t know what you’re not understanding about this.” She peeled the paper off the band-aid and carefully stuck it to Willies knee.

“You don’t know that.” He huffed.

“Who do you think you’re talking to? He likes you. When have I ever been wrong?”

They hated to admit it, but there have been very few times Flynn has been wrong.

“Fine. But what am I supposed to do?”

“Go back there? Ask him on a date or kiss him or just literally do anything.”

“I can’t go back! He’s rehearsing! I don’t wanna barge in while they’re rehearsing. And I left so fast it’d be so awkward—”

“Stop making excuses!” Flynn shook their shoulders, as they pouted. “Call him and say you forgot something.”

“I didn’t forget anything.” He said plainly. Flynn shot him a look.

“Duh! I know that, but if you tell him you’re coming back to get something then you can’t chicken out.” She explained, exasperated.

“Oh! Well what should I say I forgot?”

“Your phone, that's a reasonable thing you’d need to get back.”

“Okay. Okokok.” Willie mumbled to themself pulling out his phone and scrolling through his contacts before Flynn snatched it from them.

“What are you doing?”

“Calling him like you said!”

“Use my phone dummy! If you call him from your phone he’ll know you didn’t leave it there!” She opened her phone and before Willie realized what was happening, the phone was ringing on speaker.

“Hello?” Alex’s voice cracked through the phone.

Flynn looked at Willie and then back to the phone when he just sat there mouth agape.

“Um, hi. It’s Willie, not Flynn, I, um, left my phone in the studio and I’m on my way back to grab it.” They stuttered, hitting his head at his awkwardness.

“Oh alright. See you soon, then.”

“Yup. See ya.” Willie threw his head in his hands, their face turning bright red. Flynn ended the call and leaned against her wall with their arms crossed.

“You really are a disaster huh.” She teased.

Willie threw his pillow at them playfully and jumped off the bed. “I hate you.” He laughed.

“Love you too.” She grinned slyly. “Now, go tell your boyfriend he’s cool and you wanna kiss him!”

Willie groaned as he grabbed his things as Flynn shooed him out of her room.

***

“He’s coming back.” Alex said quickly. His friends shared the same look as they all “ooooooo”d at him.

“Guys stop! What do I do!” He cried.

“Man calm down, it’s alright.” Reggie consoled him.

“Why’re they coming back?” Julie asked turning her keyboard off so she can lean on the keys.

“Said they forgot their phone.” Alex replied.

“Mhm, right. Sure he did.” Luke teased. If he were closer Alex would’ve shoved him but he felt like he was glued to his seat.

“What do I do?” Alex asked again.

“I mean, we can keep rehearsing till he gets here if that’ll take your mind off of it?” Julie suggested.

God bless Julie. Alex nodded.

“I don’t know, it seems like he and Willie have some unfinished business.” Reggie winked.

“No! Nothing was happening! Nothing happened, it’s nothing. He just needs his phone back.” Alex tried to ignore his friends snickering but his mind flashed back to Willie on the couch in front of him. He really thought Willie had wanted to kiss him, but if how he left says anything, Alex must’ve misread the situation. They probably hated him.

“Dude, I can practically hear your thoughts and I promise you, he likes you.” Reggie assured him.

“You can’t know that for sure.” Alex mumbled, watching his drumstick twirl through his fingers.

“Maybe not but, we’ve all noticed how they look at you.” Luke cut in.

“It’s not exactly a secret.” Julie said sweetly.

“I just... I care about them a lot and what if you’re wrong and that’s just how he acts with his friends—”

“No, dude, we’re not letting you talk yourself out of this one.” Luke laughed.

“Seriously, Alex, you should go for it!” Reggie said encouragingly, walking around his drums to clap his shoulder.

Alex thought about it, he really did. He really thought for a second that he could do it, he could just lean forward and kiss him and they’d live happily ever after. But he over thought it, as usual.

“I don’t know. Maybe someday.” He shrugged.

“You can’t just wait for someday! You gotta go after what you want!” Luke exclaimed. Julie nodded.

Alex smiled at his friends. He appreciated their support but he couldn’t help but be afraid. Deep down, he knew they were right. He knew if Reggie had been just a minute later... But he still didn’t want to get his hopes up too high. Because there’s always that what if that won’t leave him alone.

There was a gentle knock on the garage doors as Willie stepped into view, he was hugging his arms and had a soft smile on his face. They carefully waved at everyone before he made eye contact with Alex, and suddenly it felt just like they were on the couch again. Just the two of them.

You know what. Maybe it’s time for someday.

Alex stood up from his drums and walked over to Willie, trying to act nonchalant. He heard Julie clear her throat to get the other two to stop staring at them and at least pretend to do something else.

“Hey.” Alex breathed.

“Hey.” Willie replied. “Can I actually see you, out here?” He asked shyly, nodding his head out side.

Alex nodded and followed Willie out of view of his band mates.

“Sorry, I probably should’ve looked for your phone before you got here but—” before Alex could finish his sentence Willie had cupped Alex’s face and pulled him into a kiss.

Alex felt like his heart had just exploded and he wasn’t completely sure if he was real anymore, but then he felt his hand rest on Willies cheek and he could confirm that yes, this was happening.

It didn’t last longer than a few seconds before Willie pulled away again. Their eyes searched Alex’s face for any sign of his emotion but Alex had completely stopped functioning and didn’t quite know what to do until he felt Willies grip on his face loosen.

“I’m sorry—” He tried to retract his hands but Alex held them in place, and he couldn’t help but laugh. He saw Willie’s worry fade and Alex pulled him back into a kiss. This one much softer, less rushed. No longer a question, but an answer.

They pulled apart and Alex noticed Willie shrinking down a bit and smiled to himself.

“Do you have to stand on your tiptoes to kiss me?” He asked cheekily.

Willie raised his eyebrows. “That’s the question you have right now?”

Alex nodded, his smile unmoving.

“I’m glad you have your priorities set.” Willie laughed.

“Definitely.” Alex whispered. “Priority number one, make you stand on your tiptoes to kiss me again.”

“You’re mean.” Willie pouted. Alex laughed and Willie gave him a playful shove before Alex pulled him back onto his tiptoes.

“It’s about time.” Reggie whispered as he Luke and Julie peeked around the door and watched their friend.

“Luke,” He stood up straight and held out his hand.

Luke groaned and fished for his wallet in his pockets, handing him a $20 bill.

“Thank you.” Reggie said smugly, pocketing the cash.

Julie laughed and shook her head at her friends and they all made their way back to their respective instruments. Julie pulled out her phone.

Flynn: did he do it??

Julie: yup. reggie’s $20 richer

Flynn: about time!! took those fools long enough, geez

Julie: really tho

Alex walked back into the studio a blushing smiley mess and sat at his drums again, not saying a word despite his friends staring at him expectantly.

He scanned their faces from his seat behind his drums.

“From the top?”

———

———

a/n: let it be known that reggie used that $20 to buy a fish and he named it Gil and he is the best fish dad ever

[tallyovie-writes]

Pictures of Us | f. w. Part 2

part 1

Summary: all the paintings choose a student to patron, the Lady chooses you and watches as you and Fred Weasley grow in the same direction

Warning:none, might contain little angst, nothing serious

2k words

@sirenswhispers @discoverablefeelings @capture-the-moment-on-camera @sophieswizardswheezes

Sixth year, December

The corridors buzzed with excitement. With only less than two weeks to the Yule Ball boys were running around in desperate need of finding partners while girls were frantic about not being asked. Of course the already paired ones watched the madness spread with a smug smile on their lips.

The Paintings also had the time of their lives, the new puppets on their chessboard gave back a little life to their fading colours. Now they could play matchmaker from an even bigger selection.

The Lady wanted to be proud to say she did not take part in such childish acts, but she had a mission with those two before the second task. It's not like she could do much, but occasionally if she heard a french boy talking about inviting her patron to the dance she faked sadness as she gave the poor boy the news that you were indeed taken.

You weren't indeed taken.

Madness has yet to engulf you, but you weren't calm either. Collita was asked by a bulgarian boy, but you had doubts whether there weren't threats made by her that overpowered the poor boy's common sense.

You would have been fine with the two of you going together, but now that she had a partner, you weren't planning on being the third wheel.

You forced these thoughts out of your mind for now. You had more important things going on.

The Lady's corridor was full of students as usual, so you weren't surprised when you entered the DADA classroom someone almost knocked you off your feet.

"Watch where you are goi.....oh..." you started telling off your attacker, but as you looked up Fred Weasley held eye contact.

Ever since that encounter in the potions storage room things have changed. You haven't really met after that, the two of you gave a wide berth to one another. No funny business, no prank. When you did run into each other, a sudden awareness filled your body. He made no snarky comments, his usual sarcasm nowhere to be found. You didn't bring up the secret of the castle, and he didn't bring up the date. Like an unspoken deal has been made without either of your knowledge. It was awkward at best. You didn't think anyone noticed, there was only bad blood between you before.

He didn't reply, he didn't apologize for running you over. He took a long look at your face, lingering on details only he could see. Without his usual grin, he left the scene as fast as he came, robes flying around him.

"What was that? Has something happened between you two?" seems like someone noticed after all.

"Nothing besides me agreeing to a date, him agreeing to let me in on a secret, and our mutual ghosting. How is your french boy by the way?" you feigned innocence.

Collita's jaw hit the floor.

"I'm joking. Don't get your knickers in a twist."

"You know I wouldn't even be surprised. With all the sexual tension you two radiate, I wouldn't put it past you that I could find you in a broom closet with him."

Now it was your turn to let your jaw hit the floor.

"Well then, good to know nothing is going on..."

Boy, if you'd known...

Sixth year, yule ball

It wasn't that bad of an evening. You could say it could have been quite magical. The house elves outdid themselves, even the usual house rivalry crawled back to its gloomy hole.

The icicles lost their naturally given cold arua just like the stone walls' usual grim facade. White dominated, but was quickly swept by the wide range of colourful dress robes, Dumbledore's glittery lilac fabric showing how it's done properly.

It really wasn't your date's fault either that you didn't really enjoy yourself. The poor boy tried everything, but besides polite conversation you weren't capable of anything else.

You were standing alone by the food table, the ravenclaw boy left a while ago to try his luck somewhere else, probably with bigger chances.

You saw Collita bent over from laughter silent tears running down her face, her date was watching her with parted lips in amazement. Eyes big, positive surprise written on his face. Collita did that to people. She was naturally gifted with a charming personality, she drew you in, spoke to you like you were on a pedestal.

She made you feel seen. A secret talent that you were rather jealous of on several occasions.

Suddenly you felt sick of the swirling mesmerized faces, the colours were too vibrant, the music too loud, too many bodies pressed together.

Before the walls started closing around you, you left your previous position and made your way to the exit that led to the gardens. The only sound that was registrateable to your ears were only your own footsteps.

Fresh air cut your rapid breathing shorter. You slowed down, the Great Hall's chokingly sweet smells started to fade away into the night.

"Wouldn't say rushing to the night with only a light silk material covering you was a smart choice, wasn't it? I took you to be a lot smarter than that, love. You're gonna get sick." a soft voice interrupted you.

Fred Weasley stood next to the bushes.

"Well, being sick would mean I wouldn't have to see your ugly face in class, so..." you replied but your voice lacked its usual fierceness. You were too tired.

He chuckled at your reply.

"I don't wanna go back there.." you started in a low voice, barely understandable, but gathered your poise and frowned as you said the last sentence. "They are too happy in there anyway."

"Is that jealousy in your voice?" he found so goodly which strings of you he should pull.

"And what if it is?" you snapped at him.

A ghost of his usual smug grin appeared on his face.

"Get your big nose out of my business by the way!"

"Well love, you know what they say about big nosed guys..." he lazily shrugged, hands in the pockets of his robe.

"Get lost, Weasley, I'm not in the mood today."

Maybe it was the hint of desperation in your voice, or the pathetic look you might have presented, but he stopped picking your brains.

"Come in, Y/S/N, you might even find the bloke of your dreams tonight." Fred tilted his head to the side.

"I'm not interested in 'finding a guy' to be my only goal." you scoffed at his remark.

"Well then, as the only guy you talk to right now, I feel obligated to spare you from the clutches of the cold and sickness, so pretty please get your ass in here."

"I'll stay until I decide it's enough. But thank you for your concern. Bye Fred Weasley, 'find the girl of your dreams' tonight." you rolled your eyes at him.

Little did you know, he already did.

Despite the cold, the Lady felt your frozen heart start melting, even if you haven't realized yet.

Sixth year, few days after the Yule Ball

"I don't understand why you thought it was a good idea to freeze your pretty little ass out there in a low cut silk dress in winter."

You groaned out in frustration.

Collita didn't spare you despite the fact that you were bloody sick, and fuckin hurting everywhere.

"Madam Pomfrey said you won highest fever of the year." she mentioned between stealing a few of your get-well sweets. "At least you finally won something." she winked at you.

"Get out, and let me suffer alone you bimbo!" you hissed at her, but the sharp pains shooting down your neck really destroyed to effect you were trying to achieve.

"Alrighty, my little pathetic friend, I suppose I can leave you to your demise. Be a good and obedient patient." she sent you a kiss and strolled out the Hospital Wing.

**

In the Hospital Wing, after curfew

After Collita left you to suffer on your own Madam Pomfrey gave you a light sleeping tonic. You welcomed the sweet oblivion in the place of pain.

A light noise disturbed the calming darkness. Opening your eyes was a too heavy task, so you relied on your hearing. A soft fumbling could be heard, but the person near your bed executed the deed quite clumsily as the most colourful swearing left their mouth.

Fighting against the tonic's luring effect, you tried opening your eyes. When you did, you almost jerked back in surprise.

Fred Weasley stood there with an innocent smile on his face, like a child caught in a naughty act, his hands were midair frozen on the spot hovering above your stack of sweets.

"What the fuck are you doing in the middle of the night standing near my bed?" you demanded and pulled your blanket further to your neck. "Are you setting up a prank?"

"Have a little faith in me, Y/N...if it were a prank you would only know it before it happened and that's already too late. Can't a bloke visit his sick classmate? The classmate he warned against the cold?" you scoffed at his pointed stare.

"In the middle of the night?"

He started scratching the back of his neck.

"Good point. A point I should probably elaborate on." he didn't seem like someone who wanted to elaborate.

"Don't let me stop you from doing that..." you rolled your eyes at him.

He seemed a little awkward and you could barely hide your amusement. It is not every day a Weasley gets a little intimidated and loses his usual cockiness.

"You see..." he started but his gaze was still fixated on his hands. "...I felt a tad responsible for you catching a cold.

Your eyebrows raised in surprise.

"If it weren't for me dancing on your nerves in the garden making you irritated enough to stay outside longer than intended, you wouldn't be here right now." he sounded a little guilty and you couldn't help the warmth that started spreading in your stomach.

You started to chuckle.

"Weasley. It's alright." you felt a sudden bravery envelop you as you said the next words nonchalantly. "You owe me another secret and we are even."

You waited for his reaction.

He didn't disappoint. He lifted his head, brown eyes locking into your own. Now you weren't sure if it was a wise idea to make him remember your deal back in the potion storage room.

"And here I thought I could bribe you with chocolate that I nicked from the kitchen...you are not a woman easily pleased." he didn't seem that sad about this fact.

"Where would be the fun in that?"

"Right."

Silence fell upon the two of you. Eyes still interlocked, you weren't sure if minutes or hours passed by. The Hospital Wing's darkness faded, and the freckles splattered across his face became more contrasted than before. He tilted his head to the side, his gaze burned your skin.

Suddenly becoming aware of the weirdness of the situation you cleared your throat and looked away.

"Since the tonic made me hungry like a wolf, I'll accept that nicked chocolate." you said, trying to break the silence.

Fred smiled and threw you the bar he fumbled around with before. Your catch was nothing sort of graceful and you felt embarrassment tint your cheeks.

Looking down at the bar in your hand you felt your eyes grow big.

"How did you know this is my favourite?" you asked astonishment, creeping into your voice.

"Lucky guess." he shrugged. You didn't need to know that every time the Grand Hall's tables were filled with this, he couldn't look away from the joy radiating on your face. Just like now.

"Your taste is impeccable, I gotta say."

Oh yes, his taste was indeed impeccable, but not just in chocolate.

[aerynwrites]

If you're still doing marcus requests... do you think you could write something where he just broke up with Teresa and is preparing to go to DC, and the reader is his best friend, but she tries to muster up the courage to confess that she loves him before he goes? Thank you 💕

AHhh this is so cute! Thanks for requesting this! <3

Stay

Marcus Pike x Reader

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: tiny bit of angst followed by fluff!

Love is a funny thing. 

It’s a funny thing simply because it can be so many things at once. It can be a warm slow growing feeling that begins as butterflies in your tummy before eventually moving it’s way into your heart. It can be an all at once feeling that seems to blow you off your feet. It can be a comforting feeling that reminds you of home and all the wonderful things that come with it. But it can also be sad. It can make your heart ache and your fingertips tingle. It can make your stomach roll in anxiousness, and make your mind run wild with all the different outcomes. But most of all, love is a powerful thing, able to make even the strongest man crumble beneath the weight of it all. 

Which is what happened to your best friend. 

You watched as Marcus experienced everything that love is, before the woman of his affections snatched it away when she realized her true feelings lied in another. While you were there as he cried on your shoulder and held you tightly in his arms as his grief ran out of him like a river, you couldn’t help the small sense of relief that washed over you. You too have experienced what Love is, except it was for the man who had cried in your arms, for the man you knew you could never have because he only saw you as his friend. 

You too knew that Love can be sad. 

You witnessed the awful ache that spread it;s tendrils through your chest when he told you he was leaving. You felt the way your stomach seemed to turn in on itself as you stood outside his door, ready to lay everything before him, no matter the outcome. Because you also knew all the good that Love can be, and that outweighed the bad, tenfold. And if there was even the slightest chance that Marcus could return the love you held for him, then you had to take that leap of faith.

You stood outside of Marcus’s apartment, wringing your hands together nervously as you built up the courage to knock on his door. It had been several weeks since Teresa had broken things off with Marcus, broken his heart. And now, he is leaving for DC, having told you the news over one of your weekly movie nights with empty Chinese takeout containers lying on the coffee table. You had held back your tears, shielded your crumbling heart as you hugged him and wished him the best. Because that;s what friends are supposed to do right? Encourage each other to pursue what’s best for them and what they want to do. Yet, as you hugged him and he hugged you back, you were unaware of the other heart breaking right across from yours. 

Marcus didn’t want to leave you. In fact he had hoped you would reduce his plan, ask him to stay so he had a reason too. Because, unbeknownst to you, Marcus had only pursued Theresa because he never thought he could have you. He hadn’t realized this until later, after he had been talking to you one night after the break up. But it seems even you didn’t want him around enough to ask him to stay. So he made the arrangements to go to DC, hoping time away from everything would help him forget. 

Marcus was actually packing the last of his bags when you took a deep breath and knocked firmly on his door. You shifted from one foot to the other anxiously as you waited for him to answer, and you felt your heart rate speed up as you heard his footsteps nearing the door. When the lock clicked and the door was pulled open to reveal the face of the man you loved, you felt a small if somewhat nervous smile come to your face. 

“Hey Marcus,” you greet quietly.

He beams at you, holding the door open wider to guide you into the apartment, “Hey, I didn’t expect you to come by,” he says, closing the door behind you and shoving his hands into his pockets as he looks around the mostly empty apartment, “I’m not really in the best spot to entertain right now,” he jokes.

You shake your head and send him a small smile, “You know I don’t care Marcus,” you say, “I just came by too…” you trail off, unsure of how to segway into what you want to tell him, “I wanted to see you again before you left,” you say finally, eyes falling to the floor. 

His eyes soften at your words, as if he himself had forgotten that he's moving across the country. He shifts on his feet for a moment before finally speaking again, “Why do I feel like that’s not the only reason you came all the way across town?”

You feel tears well up in your eyes at his words. Ever the FBI agent, trained to notice all the little things. Before you can stop yourself you launch yourself into Marcus, wrapping your arms around his middle and burrowing your face in his chest. Your tears soaking through the white t-shirt he’s wearing.

“Please don’t go, Marcus,” you beg quietly, voice wet with tears, “I don’t know what I’m going to do if you go.”

 After his momentary shock at your sudden actions, Marcus wraps his arms around you tightly, resting his head atop your own, your name falling from his lip, “I’ve already made the transfer...and all of my things have been moved down there. I can’t just-”

“I love you.”

Your voice is barely a whisper as the words slip past your lips, but Marcus hears them, and you feel his entire body tense, but you don’t move from your position in his arms. Instead you pull him tighter to you, afraid if you let go he’ll run away.

“That’s what I came here to tell you,” you admit, “I’ve felt like this for a while now but never said anything because I didn’t want to ruin what we had, and then you and Theresa -”

You hadn’t even been able to finish your sentence before Marcus was pulling you away from him, cradling your face in his hands and crashing his lips to yours. It didn’t take you long to respond, your body melting into his, as your hands rested on his wrists. Your tears seem to flow harder now, mixing together where your lips meet as you are bombarded with an onslaught of mixed emotions. Your lips move against his naturally, as if you both had done this a million times despite this being your first kiss. Marcus pulls away slowly after a few moments, both of you desperate for air. His hands stay where they are, his thumbs wiping at the tears on your cheeks, as your own hands fall to his chest. 

“Marcus? W-what, why did you-”

“I love you too,” he rasps, resting his forehead against your own, “I didn’t realize it then, but I love you so much, and I only used my relationship with Theresa as a way to try and smother my feelings for you.”

You pull back from him slightly, his hands falling from your face to rest on your hips instead, “Why didn’t you say anything?” you whisper, confusion tugging at your brows. 

He chuckles and shakes his head, “Same reason you didn’t,” he says, “Because I’d rather have you as a best friend than not have you at all.”

You smile at his words, tugging your bottom lip between your teeth for a moment before looking up at him, “Well I hope after that kiss we can be more than best friends now.”

Marcus lets out a laugh and nods, “I think I can agree to that,” he says quietly, his demeanor turning sheepish before he speaks again.

“Stay the night?” he asks, pressing a short kiss to your lips, “Please?”

You smile and return the kiss quickly before nuzzling your head into his chest again, “Of course, Marcus. And I hope you’ll call and cancel that transfer tomorrow.”

Marcus smiles, pressing a kiss to the top of your head before resting his cheek against it once again, content to finally be holding you in his arms. 

 “Anything for you, sweetheart.”

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[whitexwingedxdoves]

a love like war | part two

Pairing: Negan x Reader Pronouns: She/her Warnings: Language Summary: Sequel to The Other Side: It seems like Negan’s efforts to win you back are too hard to fight off. A/N: I had so much fun with this sequel <3 Again all the thanks goes to @jinxeee <3 Tags: @aubageddon91  @phoenixblack89 @chloe-skywalker​ @srhxpci @browneyes528​

Read part one here.​​

When you arrived back at Alexandria, Daryl wasn’t best pleased when he saw you with Negan. In fact that night he gave you a lecture on how you should have found a way to tell him. You could barely even think for yourself that night, all you could think about was what Negan had said to you but you realised quickly that it was a dangerous territory for you to be in. You had come to the conclusion that you wouldn’t put yourself in a situation like that again, you’d do your very best to stay clear of the ex leader.

Michonne had taken it upon herself to join Daryl in a hunt leaving you with babysitting duties, Judith had gone off to work on her homework and RJ seemed content playing in the street, you watched him dance around the street giggling at the story he had made up in his head from the kitchen window, it was the first time since the hoard that you felt at ease. You turned away for just a second to place down your empty glass and when you returned to the window, RJ was much further down the road crying. It looked like he had fallen over and hurt himself which only panicked you, you took off running out of the house and in his direction.

Before you made it to RJ’s side you noticed the very man you had been avoiding bent down by his side, making the child smile and forget about the scrap on his knee. You could feel all the muscles in your body tense as you slowed your pace, your heart was racing as you made your way to the boy’s side. You noticed Negan rubbing his hand over the graze that now occupied the child’s skin reminding him it was nothing and just a bump. He managed to calm RJ down completely as you bent over to check on him. “What happened buddy?” your voice was soft and calm as you reached your arms out to the boy, instantly he clung onto you in the form of a hug.

“Little fella just had a fall” Negan now spoke, nudging RJ gently before sending him a wink “but you’re alright now, aren’t ya?” RJ seemingly turned shy and nodded at the question.

Your head only seemed to grow foggier as you watched the way Negan interacted with the toddler, your heart seemed to swell at the sight “Thank you” you whispered to the tall man as you both rose to your feet. He shrugged off your appreciation as if his actions didn’t require a thanks.  “You know its cheating when you use the kids too get me to forgive you” though you passed it as a joke, you felt it fully, you couldn’t believe a simple act of kindness towards a child would almost make you forget the torture you endured at the hands of the man. Negan simply laughed at your words allowing his tongue to guide his bottom lip between his teeth. You looked down at RJ letting him back down on his feet now that he seemed confident enough to brave walking again. “Thank you, again” your eyes now met with Negan’s again and he sent you a sincere smile. You’re not sure why but you stood on the tips of your toes and gave him a small kiss on his cheek and turned away from him following RJ back down the street. You instantly regretted your actions, a moment of weakness on your behalf only confirmed Negan’s plans to win back your heart were slowly working.

You gave it a lot of thought and now that Daryl had gone to Hilltop to help out some more up there, you decided to give Negan the benefit of the doubt. You told Gabriel you were willing to take your share of shifts on ‘Negan watch’ though you weren’t fully ready to forgive him for what he had done, he had proven his willingness to change and that seemed like enough to build some sort of friendship with him and start your healing process.

The shifts went well, not once did he ever say anything out of place or make you feel uncomfortable. He’d ask you about your day and offer you a joke about his, you got on fairly well for the first two days. You had mentioned to him that Judith was struggling with her math work and he offered to help with your supervision. You’d take her to the cell and let her ask him questions and laugh whenever she responded to him with nothing but pure sass. When she had finally had enough of her work, Judith took off leaving you alone with Negan.

You unlocked his cell door and asked him to hold out his hands so you could shackle him. “Thank you for that “ you giggled, taking his hands in yours and clasping the handcuffs on. You were taken back slightly when your skin touched his but you didn’t let it show.

“She sure has an attitude” he allowed a chuckle of his own pass as he looked down at you, your eyes slowly met with his and it caused instant tension. It confused you how he still had such a hold on your heart despite all the horrible things he put you through. You barely noticed his eyes flickering between your gaze and your lips. When he slowly lowered his head that when you pulled away, pushing on his chest a little to make him stand further back into his cell.

“What the fuck!” you shouted in his direction, your breathing seemed to become short as you tried to piece together what just happened.

“Im sorry, I thought-“ you cut him off instantly, the anger quickly bubbling to the surface.

“You thought what? You thought that just because you helped a kid with their math homework I’m gonna instantly forget what you did to me?” He hung his head in shame as you scolded him. “You can’t just pull that shit! It’s not fair! Every time I see you, there’s always some new attempt to get me to forgive you but it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter how much I love you, it’s never going to change the fact that you broke me. I can’t trust you” tears now streamed down your face like a constant flowing body of water.

“I’ll never stop” Negan shouted back at you, your face starting to crease as he spoke. “I won’t stop until I make it right, until I make it up to you. You’re the only thing that matters now.” His words managed to take away your ability to breathe. Your stomach felt as though there was a large pit that occupied it, shaking your head you turned away from him and ran out of the room, ignoring any stares you seemed to attract as you made your way down the street. You tried your best to mask the emotion that spilled from your eyes but the wet tracks on your face gave you away.

-

 You found yourself sitting in one of the newer buildings, people often gathered there for prayer and though your faith had been tested by the new world, you seemed drawn to it. You sat on one of the many chairs available and admired the woodwork of the beams that supported the room, you thought you were alone until you heard footsteps creeping up behind you. You turned to meet their maker and were met with the priest himself, you gave him a soft smile before turning your attention back to the beams. “I can’t remember the last time I saw you in here” Gabriel’s words were soft as he pulled up a seat next to you, you let a breathy laugh pass as you let your head hang a little “something on your mind?” what wasn’t on your mind, you looked over at the man sending him an obvious look.

“You could say that” you joked back pressing your lips into a thin line. “I’m not much of a believer but I think only a higher power can help me with the situation I find myself in”  you sighed to further prove the stress you felt. Gabriel let a small smile creep onto his lips before placing his hand on your shoulder and just like that you let everything out, you explained your situation with Negan and how confused you felt by his recent pass. You’re not sure how Gabriel made you feel safe enough to trust him with your honesty but he did and he did it well.

He allowed the information to settle for a moment before a sigh of his own passed his lips “anyone who is given the chance can change” you weren’t convinced of his words, you knew people could change but you also knew that once someone had crossed a line, there was no going back and you were sure Negan crossed the line long ago. “You and I both know that a second chance can go a long way, maybe Negan deserves one too but only you can decide that ” Gabriel left you to your own thoughts after that, he figured he helped as much as he could. You stayed in your seat for a while thinking over the new advice you had been given, tears seemed to cloud your eyesight as you grew closer to your conclusion. Eventually you allowed yourself to leave the building, even though you weren’t fully convinced of your decision you made your way in the direction of Negan’s cell.

Negan was laid on his bed, staring up at the concrete wall when you made your way back into the room. He instantly pulled himself from the bed and made his way to the bars, he opened his mouth to talk but you cut him off before he had chance “I thought about, about you” at first your words came out as whisper, you seemed shy as you kept yourself close to the door but the way he looked at you in that moment made you sure this was the right decision. “I’m not sure how it will work, I mean your in prison for crying out loud” you bit down on your lip as you allowed your eyes to meet finally “but I can’t deny it anymore, I’ve tried to fight it, to bury it so deep that it can’t resurface but it always does. I don’t know why after the shit you put me through but I do, I love you” you tried to disguise the crack in your voice but at that point it didn’t matter, your feelings were now stripped bare and you felt naked as you stood before him. “I’m willing to at least try put it behind me, give you a second chance but if you do as much as put a toe out of line in anyway, I’ll make sure they keep you locked in this cell until you die” You stood your ground and did your best to stay stern but the wobble of your chin gave away your nerves.

Negan didn’t say a word he just nodded waiting for you to finish your speech but he still didn’t have a word to say. The room fell silent after that, you watched the former leader with tears in your eyes, noting how desperate he looked as he waited by the door of his cell for you. You were slow with putting the key in the lock and once you heard the sound that signalled it had unlocked your eyes met with his again, slowly you pulled back the metal bars until even he couldn’t take it anymore. He pushed through the bars and his hands engulfed your face, your heart felt like it was on fire when he touched you, your eyes flickered slightly at the pure euphoria your skin felt against his. It wasn’t long until his lips were entangled with yours, the way he attacked your lips like there was nothing else he wanted more made you let out a soft moan. It was like music to his ears. You allowed your hands to find the back of his neck as he let his hands slowly fall down your body and wrap around you to bring you closer to him. As he slowly pulled away from you, your eyes started to well up again. You pressed your head against his chest your hands clutching onto the fabric of his shirt “please don’t break me again”

[rax-writes]

Romeo & Juliet

Fandom:  Stranger Things Pairing:  Steve Harrington x Reader Warnings:  None Notes:  Shoutout to my dear friend @mxgyver​ for the inspiration ♥

You had been best friends with Steve Harrington since you’d arrived at Hawkins Elementary in the fifth grade. A kid named Kevin had been bullying him on the playground, and although Steve had been doing his best to ignore the asshole, you found yourself incapable of doing the same. Kevin had intentionally screwed up the science project you’d been working that morning, purely because he thought it’d be funny to torment the new kid, and in the moment, you were so upset that you said nothing. The anger set in after he’d already walked off, laughing to his buddies about what he’d done. So, seeing him bully another innocent person made your blood boil, and before you knew it, you were chucking the basketball in your hands as hard as you could at the back of Kevin’s head.

Kevin flew forward from the unexpected impact, landing flat on his chest on the cement, which knocked the wind out of him. Steve’s jaw dropped as he looked from Kevin to you, meanwhile the ball rolled back over to you, and you picked it up to tuck it under your arm. When Kevin sat up and spun around to locate the culprit, the agitation on his face turned to fear as he locked eyes with you. Apparently the sheer rage in your 11 year old eyes did the trick to let him know you meant business.

“Look, Kevin, I don’t know you, and you don’t know me. But I do know that you’re just some jerk who thinks it’s fun to be mean to people for no reason. You’re a bully. And one thing you’ll learn about me is that I don’t like bullies. So, you really ought to be nicer to your classmates, or you’ll have me to deal with.”

The boy hesitated a moment, before he realized his friends were watching him, obviously expecting him to retaliate. He stood, then crossed his arms as he sneered at you, “Oh yeah? And what are you going to do about it?”

Whack!

The basketball hit Kevin square in the nose as he stumbled backwards, hands covering his face as he cried out in pain.

“That. That’s what I’m going to do about it.”

“You’re crazy!” Kevin yelled over his shoulder, as he ran off, his friends close behind.

“Yeah, and don’t you dare tattle on me, or a bloody nose of yours will be the least of your concerns!” you hollered, watching them retreat to the other side of the playground.

“Thanks for that,” Steve piped up then, and his tone seemed to be a mix of gratitude and bewilderment.

Shrugging, you explained, “Honestly, I mostly did it because he ruined my science project this morning. But also because I do really hate bullies.”

“Whatever the reason, I appreciate it,” Steve said with a chuckle. “Well, you’re obviously pretty good with a basketball. Wanna play HORSE?”

----------

That was 7 years ago, and Steve had been your best friend ever since. All through the remainder of elementary, middle school, and high school, the two of you had been inseparable. The two of you had shared a ton of fun and crazy adventures, as well as some hard times, and you were there for each other through it all. He had shown up on your doorstep 20 minutes after you called and told him about your boyfriend cheating on you, with a tub of ice cream in one hand and a Disney movie VHS in the other. Similarly, you had been there for him about three months ago, when Nancy Wheeler broke his heart.

You’d have never admitted it, but as you got older, you slowly began to realize that you liked him as more than a friend.

For years, you had pushed those feelings to the back of your mind. It didn’t matter how much you liked him; keeping Steve as your best friend was your top priority. You wouldn’t risk losing that. But, on one fateful evening, you found that you could no longer ignore how in love with him you’d fallen.

Your teacher was making your class do a miniature version of Romeo and Juliet as a senior project. Everyone had voted you and Steve as the leads, because you had such good chemistry – despite the fact that you’d spent ages telling people that you were just friends. And of course, the teacher wanted to include the scene where Romeo and Juliet kiss. You and Steve had both tried to talk her out of it, but she wouldn’t budge. So, that’s what led to your current situation: sitting in Steve’s living room on a Wednesday night, a short distance separating you on the couch, practicing your lines.

“O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do. They pray; grant thou, lest faith turn to despair,” Steve recited, then ran a hand over his face. “What the fuck does that even mean?”

“Hell if I know,” you muttered, sounding equally as confused as him, before continuing. “Saints do not move, though grant for prayers’ sake.”

“Then move not, while my prayer’s effect I take,” Steve said, then paused and cleared his throat. “And, uh… this is the part where they kiss.”

You could feel his eyes on you, but you kept your eyes glued to the script in your lap, not wanting to meet his gaze.

“Yep… so it is.”

“Do you… should we...?” Steve trailed off, then exhaled slowly, as if calming himself. “We could practice that part too… if you wanted?”

You looked up at him with wide eyes, and he backpedaled immediately.

“Actually, that’s a bad idea. That would be so weird. I honestly don’t even know why I said that. Forget this ever happened,” he rambled, waving a hand in the air exasperatedly.

“I mean…” you began softly, still looking at him despite the fact that he was now staring at the floor. “Ms. Myer made it clear that she wants us to stay true to the script. So we might as well get it over with now, rather than in front of the whole class.”

Steve glanced at you, and the two of you shared a few moments of eye contact before he exhaled again.

“No, yeah, you’re right. We should totally get it over with now. After all, it’s just for the play, right?” Steve said, with feigned nonchalance, and you nodded.

“Exactly! So we should just kiss now, rather than kiss for the first time in front of the entire class. But it’s totally not weird at all, since it’s just for the play. Obviously doesn’t change the fact that we’re friends.”

“Best friends!” Steve agreed earnestly, then ran a hand through his hair as he took a deep breath. “Alright, so, take two…. Then move not, while my prayer’s effect I take.”

Your eyes had been on your script when you felt his gentle fingers tilt your chin up to look at him. The two of you stared into one another’s eyes for a few moments, before Steve leaned in and pressed his lips against yours.

It was beyond everything you’d ever dreamed of – and you had definitely dreamed about it on more than one occasion. His lips were soft and sweet, and you instinctively leaned into him. But, far too soon for your liking, Steve pulled away, although only slightly. His face remained mere inches from yours, as he stared at you with an expression you couldn’t read.

“Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purged,” he whispered, after a quick glance at the paper in his hands.

“Then have my lips the sin that they have took,” you responded breathlessly.

“Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged,” Steve responded, his voice still soft, before looking down at your lips. “Give me my sin again.”

You met his lips without hesitation as he bent down to kiss you once more, and his hand moved from your chin to cradle the back of your head, fingers burying themselves in your hair. Steve dropped the script to the floor, and moved his newly-freed hand to rest on your waist, as your own hands clutched the front of his shirt. The whole thing felt like a daydream, and in the moment, a white-knuckle grip on his shirt served as a way to ground yourself, a reminder that this was actually happening.

The kiss lasted far longer this time, his lips moving slowly and methodically against yours. After what felt like an eternity, you both broke the kiss to catch your breaths, and you realized then that your back was now against the couch and he was leaned over you, enveloping you in his embrace.

Steve rested his forehead against yours, breathing heavily – both from how long the kiss had lasted, and from the adrenaline of the fact that he’d just made out with his best friend.

“God, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that,” Steve whispered, then leaned back to get a better look at you. You smiled warmly at him.

“Ditto.”

“Why didn’t you then?!” Steve asked, surprised as a grin formed on his lips.

“I could ask you the same thing!” you retorted, laughing.

“Fair enough,” he conceded, matching your laugh. As your laughter faded, he grew more serious, although he still wore a small smile. “Truth is, I’ve been in love with you since the day I met you. At the time, I didn’t really have any close friends, so I just really wanted to be friends with you. Plus, I thought you were super cool, so I felt like you were out of my league,  ya know, romantically.”

“You thought I was cool?” you asked with a chuckle.

“Of course I did! You were the first person to ever stand up to Kevin Matthews, and you did it on your fourth day at our school!”

The two of you shared more laughter, before he added, “Obviously, now I know you’re actually a giant nerd, so the coolness has worn off.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“Anytime,” Steve replied, then scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “So, I guess you kind of feel the same way then, huh?”

“I suppose,” you teased, and he smiled. “I didn’t fall for you when I first met you, though. I don’t know exactly when I did…. I think it was freshman year. I remember watching your first baseball game of the season, and thinking you looked really hot in the uniform, especially when you ran over to me in the bleachers, all excited after you’d hit a home run. You were a little sweaty and your hair was messy and god, you looked so good. Then, a week or two later, I watched you flirt with some girl, and I remember getting really mad about it but couldn’t understand why. It took me like three days to realize it was jealousy, and that I’d caught feelings for you. The feelings only got stronger over time, and eventually, I realized I was in love with you. But I was too scared of losing you as a friend to do anything about it.”

“The toughest girl I know, scared of losing me?” Steve quipped, placing his hand on his chest and giving you an exaggeratedly shocked look. You rolled your eyes.

“Only because I love you, smartass.”

Steve grinned brightly, then resumed his previous position, looming over you on the couch as his arm wrapped around your shoulders and the other rested on your waist once again. His lips hovered over yours before he said, “I love you, too,” and kissed you.

The two of you spent the rest of the night just like that: making out on the couch, making up for lost time, the play now long forgotten.

[thesean]

@freshsteel​ said: Please write your essay on Osiris I Will read it and that is a threat

@stormlord67​ said: I wish to hear about the Osiris brainrots and info.

@salt216000​​ said: Tell us your thoughts about Osiris I dare you

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Osiris, Warden of the Infinite Forest? I thought not. It’s not a story the Vanguard would tell you...

alright alright alright

i have A LOT of thoughts about osiris so buckle up, i’m gonna be going over A LOT starting at the beginning to the end of his exile (also i won’t be talking much about immolant because it makes me too sad when i’m already sad about him for other reasons)

I want to talk about this phrase I often use in regards to Osiris first. “Exile as a state of mind.”

EXILE AS A STATE OF MIND.

So like. The thing about Osiris is that time moves faster in the Infinite forest than it does outside of it. And from what I've been able to gather In Real Time he's only been exiled for about 40 at the least, 200 at most, whereas for him it's been hundreds, if not thousands, of years. All that time he's been exiled, all that time he's come to accept that fact, that there is no last city to fall back on whenever he needs to. That there was no one to rely on, not truly. That he had to fight this war against the Vex alone. That it was Him and Only Him.

So it becomes a state of mind.

Worse yet, it's a title, one that he still uses despite no longer being exiled. (Read in One Exile to Another, and a few of the Hunt Armor loretabs.) so there's a disconnect between him and the people he loves because he is still exiled in his mind, he does not have anyone to rely on other than himself. Exile, not as a state of being, but a state of mind, because he can no longer think how it will be otherwise.

Exile, as a state of mind, because if he accepts that he is no longer exiled, then what? Who will he be? He won’t be a Commander, he won’t be the Hero of Six Fronts, he won’t be any of that, he’ll be stuck as Osiris.

And Osiris is a terribly lonely man.

Let’s also consider what Osiris’s exile was like in the first place. How it really took place, not through the skewed lens of The Fall of Osiris comic or through the biased perspective of Osiris’s journals.

Consensus Meeting 2891.98

NM: "I note for the record that we are without a Warlock Vanguard or a Vanguard Commander." Andal Brask: "Two birds, one man." Zavala: "Ikora Rey is interim Warlock Vanguard for this meeting." Speaker: "Which brings us to our first order of business. Ikora Rey, the Consensus formally requests you assume the responsibilities of Warlock Vanguard." Ikora Rey: "Considering I've been performing those responsibilities for a while now, I accept." FWC: "Why did you cover for him for so long?" IR: "Someone had to do it." S: "Ahem. Now that we have Consensus, I may inform you I have decided to banish former Warlock Vanguard Osiris from the Last City." [murmurs] S: "Are there any objections?" DO: "None here. Maybe he'll find a better planet for us." [pause] S: "Very well. Next: I name Titan Vanguard Zavala as the new Vanguard Commander. Congratulations." (Curse of Foresight)

It was so casual and no one stood up for him. It was a unanimous decision. It’s no wonder Osiris has so much trouble reaching out for help. Last time he did he was exiled, last time he did everyone he cared about turned their backs on him, Saint wasn’t exempt from this. He must have felt some sense of betrayal from this. And it stuck with him.

GOD IN THE MACHINE.

This one’s a much more subtle thing and based upon observations but I do want to talk about how terrifyingly close Osiris was to, essentially, godhood.

There was a quote in Destiny 1 at some point when you’re hunting down Oryx, I can’t seem to find the exact quote on Ishtar, but it was something along the lines of “In order to be a god you must have eyes everywhere.”

Osiris has a lot of eye imagery.

Another way Osiris was close to godhood is that he had the ability to make echoes. There’s only one other character in Destiny who was able to do that. You guessed it: Oryx (albeit he used Darkness instead of Light to do it but the sentiment remains.)

Additionally, let’s not forget that Destiny tends to play on character’s names whenever their names come from something of power. Toland commented upon Eris’s name being a name of chaos reflecting that she’s named after the Chthonic Goddess, Eris. And Osiris being named Osiris, an Egyptian God of death, well... Need I say more?

Osiris can manipulate the Light in ways we didn’t even know was possible, from using multiple Light elements at once to creating Reflections and Echoes, to creating a ward of Light in a way we haven’t seen Warlocks do. Not only that but Osiris had an entire planet under his control, a Vex machine that no one person should be able to control and he had it at the tips of his fingers.

He was scary close to godhood. And I don’t think he realizes it.

FAITH.

Another aspect of Osiris I’d like to touch upon is his relationship with faith.

Osiris has a very distinctly different view of these things in Destiny, and it’s something that’s now painted as a good thing. It’s good to question why you fight, good to question why you exist. Osiris questions everything and while there’s a few jabs made at him about it (mostly they come from how he was viewed before Curse of Osiris) it ultimately doesn’t state that Osiris’s questions are bad. In fact I’d go so far as to say they were vindicating.

BUT. This raises my thoughts on his faith, on how it’s served him. We know that Saint-14 has a lot of faith, both in people and in the Traveler, and it’s interesting to me to see the dichotomy of that vs. Osiris’s views.

There was an idle line he had in Season of Dawn, in where he said "I thought you had broken the Red Legion... I see faith has failed me yet again..."

What has faith gotten him? Abandonment. Exile. Losing Saint.

They have a silent god hanging above them in the city, and what has it done for them? The Traveler was not at Six Fronts, the Traveler was not at Twilight Gap, the Traveler did not stop the Vex, and the Traveler certainly didn't save Saint. Rotted faith, eroded to bitterness.

The light is a weapon because if it weren't then would it not act? Would it not save humanity? Why wouldn't it save him? Why would he suffer so much?

So he is mad at god.

The best quote I remember about his Relationship with the Traveler is him saying that the Traveler's death was a gift in that there are now Guardians, but also they only have the problems they have now is because the Traveler came there, bringing its enemies to their shores.

He questions the Light because while it’s their greatest weapon, it is also the source of humanity's grief

The Traveler holds their chains. (Freedom is a chain, choice is a prison.)

“I have questioned the Light before, and I continue to question it today. But skepticism is not the same as disavowal. The Light is one of our greatest resources.” — Transmission from Osiris

[dudeandduchess]

Obsession: Yandere!Kyōjurō x F!S/O (Slight NSFW Scenario)[Part 5]

Summary: Kyōjurō finally goes home after a week of getting reacquainted with his beloved, and he does everything in his power to make her not miss him as much. Which just results in her missing him even more.

Warnings: Language, Making Out, Adult Situations

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3|| Part 4

***

“Are you sure that you’re going to be fine on your way back?”

As much as (Y/n) didn’t want to make it sound like she had no faith in Kyōjurō’s skills as a Hashira, she couldn’t help but let her worry color her tone. After all, in the short time that they had been acquainted, she had grown extremely fond of him.

So fond, in fact, that she had a small sense of loss niggling inside her chest; on top of the little voice in her head that was telling her to go with him.

Everything inside her wanted to go with him, but her mind still had enough sense to keep her from doing just that. Because, despite them having grown closer in that short amount of time— Kyōjurō hadn’t even brought up any proposals of marriage; nor had there been any talks of rekindling what they had had before.

There hadn’t even been anything that went on past kissing and heavy petting— at least in actuality. (Y/n)’s dreams were another thing entirely, as the Kyōjurō that she knew in them always brought her to the precipice of pleasure each and every night; though, he had yet to fully take her.

And those dreams were leaving her more than frustrated.

“I’ll be alright, (Y/n),” Kyōjurō answered in his usual jovial tone; loud and boisterous in its cadence. But it wasn’t his delivery that had some heads turning within the household, but the casual use of (Y/n)’s first name.

It was known that only the head family members were permitted to call her as such, so it came as a surprise that a stranger was using her name so casually; without any repercussions.

But what had most of the servants’ eyes widening, was the way that the Flame Hashira gripped their young mistress’ chin between his thumb and forefinger— before leaning forward to claim her lips in a sweet kiss.

Everyone immediately averted their gaze once they realized that they were intruding on such a private moment, and the couple spared them no mind. Especially as (Y/n) wrapped her arms around the young man’s neck, if only to pull him closer to her— which earned a soft chuckle from him.

“I’ll be back before you know it. I promise, my sweet flame.”

With those soft words hanging between them, the blond reluctantly took his beloved’s arms and gently pulled them down so that her hands laid flat against his chest.

(Y/n) couldn’t even deny how fast her heart was beating inside her chest— all because of a few words, no less. Only to get even more flustered when Kyōjurō took her hands in his own and brought them up to his lips, just so he could press kisses to the middle of both of her palms.

It was such a tender gesture that had those curious (and bold) servants hiding smiles behind their hands, at how (Y/n) looked so dumbfounded as she stood there.

Most of them even wished for the blond man to stop by more often, so they could be treated to the sight of their usually calm and composed young mistress floundering.

“I’ll write you when I can, alright?” His words sounded so reassuring, that it eased all of the minute fears that flickered through the young woman’s mind— with most of them having to do with scenarios of him never returning, after taking such a big part of her heart with him.

Not even (Y/n) could explain why she had grown so fond of him in such a short time, but she wasn’t opposed to it— at all. It may have also had to do with the fact that they had history, or it could have been the fact that she felt grateful to him— a sort of hero-worship— but something told her that it went way beyond that.

After all, she was a firm believer that time meant very little when it came to love. Not that she was immediately going to tell Kyōjurō that it was what she was hoping for with him; since she had to be sure that he felt the same first, before jumping into anything.

Which was somewhat of a contradiction to her initial principles.

If she were to be honest, most of her beliefs had been overturned in the week that they’d spent together— and it was making her crazy.

But what was making her even crazier were all of the feelings swirling around within her at the Hashira’s departure. And it was clearly showing on her face, as the aforementioned man let go of one of her hands— all so he could press the thumb on his left hand to the tiny crease between her eyebrows.

And gently, he began to try and rub the little furrow away. “Don’t frown, my love. I prefer it when you smile at me instead.”

To say that (Y/n) was shocked at Kyōjurō’s blatant use of such a nickname would have been the understatement of the century. She could feel her entire body warming up with both embarrassment and joy, while a bashful smile tugged up at the corners of her lips.

She couldn’t even look away from those captivating eyes of his, as he pinned her beneath them with so much intensity that it made it difficult to even want to move.

Unfortunately, a crow circling the air above them cut through the romantic tension that still hung between the two of them. It kept crowing on about how the Flame Hashira needed to get a move on, as he was needed at home.

So, with those words washing over them and bathing them in reality once more, the blond pressed another kiss to his beloved’s lips— before reluctantly pulling away; as slowly as he could.

Only for him to dive back in once more for one last taste of her lips.

“I’ll see you soon.”

***

Not even two days later, she already received her first letter from him. It didn’t have the words of love that (Y/n) had secretly bene hoping for, but it went on about Kyōjurō’s days without her; which were just him training during the morning, and doing his rounds at night.

But what really had the young woman practically melting where she sat was the line:

‘There isn’t a single minute when you aren’t running through my mind. You must really be tired by now, my sweet flame.’

And it reverted her to actually hugging the sheet of parchment while stifling a giggle.

Even all of the servants were a witness to how she secretly swooned over the man whom had saved the (L/n) family not that long ago. They couldn’t exactly see her, but they could hear the giggles and the quiet but high pitched squeals that their young mistress made whenever a letter arrived for her.

(Y/n) was the vision of a woman in love, and everyone approved of it; her father more than anyone else.

Meanwhile, Kyōjurō was already preparing so many lavish gifts for (Y/n). The moment that he got home, he had immediately placed orders for luxurious kimonos with her exact sizes, as well as trinkets and jewelries that he knew she would like.

It was so presumptuous of him to have done such a thing, but he couldn’t care less about it. After all, (Y/n) was going to be his— even if it took him his entire life to make her love him as much as he already was in love with her.

“Aniue,” A soft voice called from across Kyōjurō— snapping him out of his reverie, and making him shake his head as he looked up at Senjurō from the letter that he was writing for his beloved.

They hadn’t seen each other in a month— with the letters filling the longing between them— and it felt like it was already pushing close to a year. It still amazed Kyōjurō just how things had changed ever since he had introduced himself to (Y/n); officially, that was.

All of the years that he had put into making her believe that she was just dreaming —whenever he snuck into her room at night— was starting to pay off. Because not only was it making the process much faster than he’d anticipated, but it also made her feel the connection between them with very little effort on his part.

“What is it, Senjurō?” The older of the two asked with a bright smile, not cluing him in to the darkness that just skirted around the edges of his bubbly personality.

Senjurō, after tilting his head slightly in curiosity, stated quietly, “You seem really happy lately… has something good happened?”

“There’s always something good in every day, Senjurō,” Kyōjurō uttered gently— but didn’t hold back the grin that played at his lips, especially as he came clean with what had been making him so happy. “But yes, something really amazing has happened; it was life-changing. I’ve met my future wife… for the second time.”

“Really, aniue!?” The young boy couldn’t help it, he practically jumped up in his seat at the news; since he hadn’t even known that his brother had had someone in his heart. He was extremely happy for his brother, that was for sure; and immensely excited to meet his future sister in law. “What’s she like? Is she pretty— of course she’s pretty! And the second time, aniue? Have I met her before?”

The Hashira was hit with a barrage of overly enthusiastic questions— but really, he couldn’t say no to his little brother’s hopeful face. Especially with those glittering eyes of his.

His letter to his beloved (Y/n) would have to wait until later on in the evening.

***

‘My Sweet Flame,

I thought about you again. Like I do all the time. You’re still running through my mind, and I’m sure that if you were a Hashira, you would be able to take me down in a fight.

I hope that you’re doing fine. Please remember to eat on time, and eat plenty so you won’t get sick— and yes, that also means eating your vegetables. Even the natto that you dislike so much. It’s good for you.

Also, my younger brother asked about you today. More along the lines of me telling him that I’ve finally met… you. And he was really excited about it.

He’s even looking forward to meeting you soon. So I hope that you can come visit me if your father permits it. I promise that I’ll take good care of you… in all the ways that you want me to.

You must be blushing so hard now.

I really miss seeing your face, and just being with you. A mere week isn’t enough to satisfy my need to see you; I don’t think that even a lifetime would be enough for that.

You’re simply too beautiful— both inside and out, and I want to be with you always.

But don’t worry, my love. I’ll see you soon.

You have my heart with you.

Your Kyōjurō’

(Y/n) was so speechless.

She had been reading through the last letter that Kyōjurō had sent her, when a maid had come scurrying to her room— frantically telling her that she had a guest waiting for her.

That statement already sounded iffy to her, but what made it even more suspicious was when two more women came in with a much nicer kimono than the one that she had been wearing; one that she didn’t even remember getting before.

They made quick work of dressing her in the red garment, pulling her hair up in a matching hair pin— and then finishing her look off with the slightest pinch to her cheeks to make them red.

She wanted to protest and tell them that she could handle herself, but they hadn’t even given her any room to say anything. Especially when they practically pushed her out of her room, and dragged her out to the front of the house.

Her heart felt like it had jumped in her throat at the mere sight of that familiar head of blond hair, but the closer that she got to him the more that it began to pound harder— until she was a mess on the inside, with all of the butterflies that decided to begin fluttering around in her stomach.

Kyōjurō gave her such a breathtaking smile that she had to resist the urge to gawk. But, as it was, her body had an entirely different plan— as her feet picked up the pace into a run; making her head right for him, before wrapping him up in a hug.

Thankfully, he caught her easily— laughing all the while, as he spun her around once. “I see that you’d missed me, my love.”

Neither of them could help it then, with (Y/n) taking the initiative and leaning in to close the gap between their lips— and Kyōjurō reciprocating her actions just the same. The first touch of their lips was hesitant— merely to get a small taste of each other— only to be followed by much bolder advances.

Kyōjurō’s arms tightened their hold around his beloved, so tempted to hold her to his chest and pin her against the nearest flat surface; all so he could ravish her like he really wanted to.

But they were in view of all of the maids; not to mention the pedestrians that got a glimpse of them from the open gates to the estate. And it had him pulling away in the meantime, so he could preserve what modesty that they still had— before it was too late.

“You’re here!” (Y/n) exclaimed softly, almost breathless as the Hashira set her down on her feet. He then took her hands in his own, reverently caressing her knuckles with the pads of his thumbs, before bringing them up to his lips and pressing kisses to them.

“I am. I told you I would see you soon, my sweet flame.” The young man whispered back, grinning at his flustered beloved— who could only purse her lips to keep herself from beaming as bright as he was.

Silence hung between them at those words, with both of them simply looking at each other with happy expressions on their faces— as well as a hidden surge of smug achievement from Kyōjurō.

He hadn’t expected such a warm welcome, after all. And it just proved that all of his actions and gestures had played so well into making (Y/n) like him— almost to the point of also being obsessed with him.

And if that wasn’t such a heady thought for him, then he didn’t know what was. Because soon, she would really be his— of her own volition. Forever.

“Would you like to take a walk in the garden, while they’re preparing tea and snacks for us?” The question came out as too meek and high-pitched, but it still sounded like music to the Hashira’s ears. Mostly because it gave them the privacy that he so craved with (Y/n).

And he didn’t hesitate at all, sending her a bright grin as well as a nod; before turning to the maids who still hung around them, and bowing politely.

All before practically dragging his beloved to the expansive garden behind the house.

Thankfully, it was as quiet and devoid of people as Kyōjurō wanted it to be, because it gave him the opportunity to turn around and pull (Y/n) up against his chest once more— claiming her lips in an open-mouthed kiss, that had her knees feeling weak.

Especially when he touched his tongue to hers, while gently pushing her back against the side of the house; holding her there with a hand cushioning the back of her head, while the other one cupped the side of her hip boldly.

In turn, (Y/n) placed her palms on her lover’s chest— tracing his muscles over the uniform that he had on. She then pushed them up to rest on the back of his neck, letting her fingers play with the tiny strands of hair at the base of his head; while also tracing nonsensical patterns across the sensitive skin of his nape.

Slowly, Kyōjurō pulled her hips towards him; snaking his hand to the small of her back with a subtle brush over her ass. It ultimately had his cock pressing against her lower abdomen, which was already such a heady feeling after not having felt her in so long.

The weight of her lust truly hit (Y/n) then, as even the dreams that she’d begun to anticipate had disappeared with Kyōjurō’s departure. Not even her own fingers, while her thoughts were filled with him, could bring her to climax— and she had buried it so well.

Until that moment.

Their tongues tangled together, breaths almost becoming one, and bodies getting much hotter with their lust flaring out between them.

It was like opening a dam, because she suddenly pulled him closer; letting her right hand slide down his body, so it could rest just above his belt. Teasing him with all of the possibilities, much like they had done behind closed doors— in the daytime, no less.

In retaliation, the young man merely pushed his beloved’s body even closer to his— before blatantly grinding his hardening cock against her. Then, he took that time to break away from their heated kiss.

And deliberately, he placed his lips at her left ear; brushing them against the shell of it, before snaking his tongue out and giving it a teasing lick. “I always make good on my promises, my love.”

[anika-ann]

WINSoD - Pt.5

If One Should Fall...

Type: series, soulmate AU series  (part 1, part 2, part 3)  

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader  Word count: 3120

Summary: In which distribution of forces on the stones-retrieving mission changes. Because— reasons.The reason being a special visit someone pays you.

Warnings!: skip to post-Infinity War and the summary of it - you can imagine; deaths, violence....briefly tho, + language, mention of the inability to bear children, brief suicidal thoughts, kinda religious motives because SPN

A/N: Enormous time skip, because obviously CA:CW didn’t happen and the timeline is changed from canon already. Also, the title (What I’d Never Say or Do had I been in my right mind) is reeeeeally applicable in this one and somehow… it felt right to connect the chapters like this. Do not murder me…?

Part 4

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Forever was a funny word. A funny concept, perhaps. People always said they wished for some moments to last forever and what they meant was for them to last as long as possible, with no change in sight. Or they said that something unpleasant felt like it lasted forever, their souls craving an end of the misery, a fundamental change as the polar opposite to the first case.

You lived through both in the past years.

Sitting on your ass in a Wakandian palace, watching a battle unfold in front of you, an ensemble of great warriors fighting yet another army from space, that felt like forever, a never-ending nightmare and you only got to watch.

It set a pattern for you for several more years to come. To only watch.

You watched an alien creature steal the sceptre that the Avengers had decided to store in the palace and it did so while killing everything in its way. Princess Shuri had the great idea of hiding you and cuffing you so you wouldn’t stand in the creature’s path while she tried to stop it with the others. She ended up in shattered glass, only unconscious, as if thanks to a miracle.

You watched as… as she fell apart to ashes only minutes later; just like many, oh so many others.

Half of the population, they said.

Thanos, The Mad Titan, had wiped half of all living creatures.

The moment was carved into your brain forever. And the eternal time you waited for anyone to come back from the battle, to see Steve alive, because God, please, let him live – yes, that sure as hell felt like forever too.

Lives were lost. Bucky, Sam, Ryan, Wanda, Pietro, Peter, Shuri, T’Challa, Strange, Fury… the list went on and on. All of them, gone. Forever.

The world changed. Avengers  ow officially didn’t exist and yet recruited new members all over the freakin’ space, which was the only way of finding out Tony Stark, who had disappeared on a spaceship, in fact, survived.

The missions of the greatest defenders of Earth changed as well. Some members took off to start a family, lucky enough to still have a partner to do so. Or to have the ability to pass their genes.

You couldn’t. Or maybe Steve couldn’t, it didn’t matter. You never pried after the source of your inability to have children; you two were one, a unity. You didn’t want to know so you could point fingers. You could tell Steve blamed himself, as well as he knew that your irregular period was definitely not helping. You made your peace. In fact, you admired Tony for finding the courage to create an environment for a child in this mad world; your lack of faith in being able to do the same had the opportunity rose ironically helped you to come to terms with the fact of your body was not functioning right.

In a way, it only drew you and Steve closer. You had valued each other before, yes, but now… you truly were like one. You backed him up in how he decided to honour Sam’s memory by starting a support group and he was the one to sense that in a search for reassurance, strangely materialistic, you craved an official bond with him, despite never saying a word.

You were Steve’s wife now – and you were each other’s rock, even during the poor attempt at defeating Thanos again.

Five years was a long time, a forever, one might say, but when Scott Lang, one of the people believed to been dusted, reappeared, forever and never became relative again.

Which led you to now; what was left of the Earth’s mightiest heroes was planning on retrieving the infinity stones.

Because they figured out how to time-travel.

Observing your reflection in the mirror, the circles under your eyes, you couldn’t but run your hand down your face and sigh.

You were still struggling with accepting the incredible fact of the possibility of coming back in time, yet you had to shush the hope inside you. Hope was a dangerous thing; certainly on such big scale as everything could being as it had been, hope that all the people who had lost their lives during the Snap could be resurrected.

As for a person who in fact had died once, it was easier for you to believe it was possible and you weren’t sure that it was a good thing. The fear of losing what you still had – read Steve, mainly – in the process, was paralyzing. It would mean your end, one you might deliver by yourself if it came to it, because you weren’t as strong as your husband. You wouldn’t make it through. Not after everything that happened.

You sighed again and tried to shake off the darkest thoughts.

When your eyes fell on the reflection again, a man stood behind your shoulder.

You spun on your heels and jerked away, your bottom bumping into the sink with a startled yelp escaping your lips.

In a fraction of second, several ways of defending yourself flashed through you mind; but the man was already three feet away; in a blink of an eye, before you could even move further.

Chest heaving with frantic breaths, hand over your heart, you stared at the intruder dressed in a three-piece suit and a red cravat. Of average height and maybe few pounds over healthy weight, smoothly shaven so his smirk could stand out, he looked… peculiar, especially given the fact he had found himself in the ladies’ room.

It shouldn’t have surprised you he spoke up with some kind of an accent on top of everything, but it did.

“Saving the world is exhausting, isn’t it?”

You stared at him, speechless. Your brain kicked into an overdrive, analysing how much of a threat he was, if he was like Pietro, too fast for Friday to catch him, or what was he-

“Who the-“

“I’m Crowley, darling. And you don’t need look so scared. If I wanted you dead, you’d be already lying here in a puddle of blood,” he reassured you like a sleazy businessman, all pretence at kindness.

You winced at the visual and narrowed your eyes.

“Alright, Crowley, what do you want? And what exactly are you?” you demanded, uncertain why you felt calm despite the man appearing out of thin air and speaking of you dying in the bloodiest way. Were you truly so numb these days?

He smiled, as if he was old friend. “I am a friend of Moose and Squirrel-“ What. “-or Sam and Dean, as you know them. I have no doubt they mentioned me. After all, my mother is assisting them more than she would like. You met her, incidentally.”

It didn’t take a genius to figure it out – you hadn’t met many people during your time with the Winchesters. This man… was probably a warlock. A witch. Rowena apparently had a son.

Well. Shit.

“Okay. So… you’re a witch or something. Means I shouldn’t trust you fully. Noted. Now what do you want?”

His face twisted in a theatrical insulted grimace, his palm laid on his chest as if you just shot him through the heart – which, by the way, would probably do nothing to him.

“First of all, I am here to help, so I don’t think you have other option than trusting me. Second of all, I am not a witch, I am the King of Hell, thank you very much-“

Somewhere in the back of your mind, Sam Winchester’s voice whispered something about the King of Hell having been Dean’s bestie for a while, which did not make you feel any better, only more confused.

“And thirdly… I’m here to tell you what you, my darling, need to do for this mission to be successful.”

You stared at him incredulously, his casual stance and animated speech bewildering, and had no clue what to make of it.

Yet, you let him speak. You let him give you the advice no one ever wanted to receive. Ever. But this sleazy man had told you about how he had saved the world before, side by side with the Winchesters and everything suddenly made sense.

Crowley, the King of Hell, answered the most burning question you had been asking yourself ever since coming back from the death, doing so more and more often these days.

Why.

Why were you given the second chance at life? Why you of all people? What was the purpose?

And now you knew.

Rowena was the greatest witch the supernatural world had ever created and she supposedly looked through all the possible futures she could. Tony had once told you, drunk and hurting, that Strange had done the same right before the battle and he only saw one way of how it could end with Thanos’ loss. Now Crowley told you the ‘one’ future was still in play, that everything was actually still on the way to the world’s victory.

The price of victory was high. History had taught you that.

But the price people paid for losing was higher.

And as much as you hated what you apparently had to do…

“Okay,” you rasped, guilt already gnawing at your chest, tears strolling down your face, fear eating you up from the inside, fear of unknown and yet known, instincts fighting the urge to do the right thing and finally actually help to the heroes you found yourself among while still useless.

You were only watching too long. Forever, one might say.

“Okay?” he echoed, clearly surprised by your antics.

You only nodded, wiping away your tears and forcing your breathing to calm and steady. There was no way you could go back to the base of operating in the living room like this. You needed to be a fucking grown-up. Grown-ups had to be okay with not being okay. You must finally become worthy of being Captain Amer- Steve’s wife.

“Yes, Crowley. I’ll do it. Though I still have no idea why you came here to tell me. Aren’t you supposed to be the bad guy?” you teased him lightly, your mouth speaking its will without permission, the question only half-expecting an answer.

“Well, my darling. It’s the end of the world as we know it. It doesn’t matter now if you’re good or bad. Not if you want the world not to end.”

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You were a terrible actress; a Razzies-nominee kind of actress. You couldn’t lie to save your life (the irony of such statement was not lost on you, yet it wasn’t properly appreciated either) and you were aware of the fact that Steve liked that about you. You could never lie to him. So you never tried.

You knew you couldn’t break that streak now, because he would see right through you. So you stooped lower than ever. Omitting the truth. Lying by not sharing the whole story. Whether you could make that work, only time would tell.

When you finally managed to compose yourself – at least more or less – and exited the bathroom, you found out that not much had changed. The team was still debating the details of best approach, uncertain but determined expressions on their faces.

Steve spared once glace at you and instantly was able to tell something was wrong. He hid you from the view of the others by his broad figure, concerned eyes scanning your face, observing and searching for any clue; for the source of your distress. As if the fact that they were – you all were, even if they didn’t know yet – about to time travel wasn’t enough to give one palpitations and serious stress-induced headache.

His tender fingers tucked a loose strand of your hair behind your ear as if it would help the mess your hairstyle must have been. A small encouraging smile graced his lips despite his own mind no doubt weighted down by numerous worries.

He didn’t have to ask for you to start talking, the brilliant colour of his eyes sweet and inviting enough.

“What if something goes wrong?” you questioned in a hushed whisper, not having to pretend to have such haunting thought. “What if… I don’t even want to think about what could it be. You’re going to need someone capable to pull you out. I am… I am not that capable. Definitely not when it comes to science of time-travel.”

Despite Steve acting like a human shield, your concerns were acknowledged by everyone, their heads snapping your direction. Steve, feeling all the curious eyes, cleared his throat and gently took your arm, leading you away from the prying ears.

“….excuse us for a second,” he hummed absently, waiting until he was out of earshot to speak with you again. “Doll… what- what is this really about?”

“What do you mean-“ you bluffed lamely in an instant, but the look Steve gave you shut you up.

“I know you, sweetheart. You can’t lie to me.”

If you weren’t dreading what you were about to do, you might throw a ‘watch me’ back at him. Instead, you aimed for an irritated tone – one that would be justified in case he would truly be questioning the claim you were about to point out.

“So you think I’m not afraid for you?”

A frown crossed over his face, his palm on your bicep tightening before he eased his hold to brush his thumb over the very same spot. “No! That’s not- I just know there’s something more. What is it?”

Gulping and averting his gaze, because the intense burn of genuine concern was unbearable, your mind raced with the effort to find the right words.

Your stomach was tied in tight knots, turning at the idea of playing Steve, more so for such nefarious purpose. But how else you could have convinced him that it couldn’t in fact be him and Natasha going to Vormir to retrieve the soul stone?

“I… I want to help. I need to help, Steve. You’re— you're so strong, always the hero and I’m not even close, I-“

“-need to prove my worth?” he finished easily, a knowing look in his eyes, and fuck him, how did he know—

He might not understand fully, he had no way of knowing what Crowley told you to do, but still, Steve was still able to recognize what fuelled your determination, what were your motives.

You opened your mouth uselessly, a shaky exhale brushing Steve’s face as he lowered his head to you, his eyes wide and genuinely troubled. God, you couldn’t bare the intensity of his gaze.

“Christ, doll. Where’s this coming from? Don’t be rid-“ From the corner of your eye, you saw him lick his lips as he swiftly cut himself off before calling you ridiculous. His large warm palms framed your face, forcing you to lock your gaze with his, passionate words accented by the burning fire of his irises. “You don’t need to prove anything to anyone. Not to them, certainly not to me. You are my everything and you are the most amazing person I have ever met-“

You closed your eyes, a soft smile tugging at your lips despite your better judgement. You never doubted Steve’s feelings, yet he was always quick to reassure you, having the patience of a saint whenever he noticed a hint of insecurity.

“I know. I swear I know that, I know how you feel, but- let me do this. What if… what if you don’t come back? What if you don’t come back and I’d be just sitting here, knowing I could have done something, but I didn’t. You’re too familiar with that feeling, Steve. Please. Let me come with you,” you pleaded in a hushed voice, hating you reminded him of losing you, but knowing it might be effective. “You know you can protect me when it comes to it.”

Brows drawn together, Steve observed you, baffled and yet understanding at the same time, torn between the instinct to have you protected at the compound and the responsibility he felt towards this mission. This was the fight of your lives; deep down, he must have known he couldn’t afford to jeopardize that even if it came to you. Which, naturally, didn’t mean he had to like it.

A clearing of one’s throat that sounded a bit like a clap of thunder interrupted your staring contest and you both glanced towards Bruce’s huge green form in the doorway, sheepish expression comical on his massive face.

“…sorry to interrupt, but… we kinda all think she has a point so-“

Steve’s sucked in air between his teeth, letting his hands drop from you face, only for one of them to run through his hair, the other balling in a fist.

You shrugged, the battle of emotions – victory and defeat at the same time, because God, why – no doubt visible on your face as Steve turned his attention solely to you once more.

“I’ll give you guys another sec…” Bruce hummed, backing out of the door, leaving you to deal with clearly irritated and reluctant Steve.

Thanks, buddy.

Wordlessly, Steve’s fingers slipped beneath your jaw, pulling you in for one of the strangest kisses of your life. H poured all his emotions into one simple gesture, hungry and intense, intimate wet sound of a dirty encounter of mouths echoing in the otherwise silent room. You allowed yourself to get lost in the sensation of Steve’s lips on yours, in his arm grabbing you and pressing flush against his hard chest; it was all too harsh for anyone to believe it was not a display of affection of a half-desperate man.

Breathless and with vertigo nearly overcoming you, you rested your forehead against Steve’s, mirroring his action once you parted. His eyes were closed shut, as if too heavy to kept open, but you could see that something in his expression shifted; you and Bruce won.

Peripherally, you noticed Crowley’s faint figure, the shortest of appearances as he nodded in approval and goodbye. You suspected he did something so Steve gave in; you didn’t care what and how, hoping it didn’t harm your soulmate.

Tears stung in your eyes when you realized what was to come and you forced them to be kept at bay, shutting your eyes close again.

“Fine, have it your way,” Steve rasped, his voice clearly irked, yet resigned. “But if you get one scratch on you, doll, just one, I’ll hold you responsible.”

No, you won’t.

You charmed a guilty smile, a lame tiny thing, and he inhaled sharply, only for huffing the air out.

“How could I, having my chivalrous man by my side?”

It earned you a kiss on your forehead, Steve’s fingers interlacing with yours when you made your way back to the other room where everyone waited.

Oh, how much it now hurt, the amount of faith Steve could put into you, charmed by your teary smile, that little thing puling on his heartstrings.

Oh, just how much it would hurt…

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Part 6

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This chapter might seem a bit strange, but hopefully it fits the atmosphere of Infinity War and Endgame…

Thanks for being here. I love you for your encouragement :-*

P.S. Here, have the last part of a SPN guide - visuals and references for Amara (God’s sister who gave back ‘reader’s’ memories) and Crowley (from this chapter).

[simpforgojosatoru]

TERRITORIAL (One-Shot) - Gojo Satoru x Reader

P

Summary:  Your boyfriend- Gojo Satoru has been away on an overseas trip, only to surprise you by returning early and showing up at your workplace, but came upon a scene of a very flirtatious male flirting with you (much to your annoyance), and decides to declare his territory.

Pairing:  Gojo Satoru x Reader/Reader-insert

Rating: General, just some fluff

“Two million yen, no more, no less,” the male opponent stated firmly.

You stare at him incredulously, “That’s very low, there is no pre-nup between our clients, and it should be at least 50/50. Have you even considered the circumstances?”

Sitting in the conference room, Inoue Takuya- the very flirtatious lawyer for the opposition, is over to negotiate a settlement deal, and he is constantly throwing you playful or teasing or flirtatious looks, while you just kept rolling your eyes since the looks he threw have not gone unnoticed by you. This guy has been irritating the hell out of you, getting on your nerves all the time, as he has been using every opportunity to flirt with you, to get you to go out with him despite your very publicly known relationship with the one and only Gojo Satoru, and the fact that he has a thing for the very beautiful you is no secret to every one of your colleagues, and even bosses.

Takuya laughed sarcastically, “No way, 2 million yen is more than enough.”

“No, my client was with your client ever since her high school years, she gave up her career, she gave up everything for your client, and not to mention, she gave your client a family life with three children,” you argue. “And now your client is ditching her for a much younger model. Nothing can compensate all that.”

Takuya sighed, “You are too sentimental.”

You scoff, “I am fighting for what my client is very well entitled to.”

“Then, what’s your desirable figure?” Takuya queried.

“Two billion yen at least,” you reply firmly. “Take it or leave it, or I will see you in court.”

The man laughed, “Ha, two billion yen, dream on.”

You did not say anything, but look at him dead on. He stopped laughing upon seeing the serious look on your face.

Takuya sighed, “Two billion yen is way too high.”

You shake your head, as you smile knowingly, tracing a finger around the rim of your glass of water, and you sigh. “Does your client know how much his three beloved children hate his guts?”

“What?” Takuya asked, surprised, taken aback at your question.

“Even if your client does not know exactly how much, he should at least have the sense and idea to know that he is not their favorite person right now,” you reply.

“You see, the children have always been very close to my client, and they love her ever so dearly. What your client did to her have now completely alienated the children, they no longer want anything to do with him, and they cannot care any less about the money or inheritance,” you continue. “In fact, they are quitting their positions at the company, which I believe and I know will be a huge loss to your client and his company, losing his heirs and such competent successors.”

“My client still loves and cares for his children all the same, he wants to keep in contact with them,” Takuya stated. “And of course, he wants the children to take on the company and business in the future.”

You tilt your head to one side, “But his children want nothing to do with him.”

Takuya sighed, finally understanding what you are inferring, “Fine, I will take the figure back to my client…”

“And I will discuss with my client and her children, and see if there can be any leeway,” you finish.

You start gathering your files and documents, while Takuya just continued to stare at you, you did not have to look to know that he was staring at you, and you frown.

“Inoue-kun, I believe we are done for today, just get back to me when you have discussed and negotiated with your client,” you state, standing up from the table.

Takuya nodded with understanding, also standing up, he offered a handshake, “OK, it was nice talking to you today, I will be in touch.”

You accept the handshake, but when you try to pull your hand back, he wouldn’t allow you too.

“Excuse me,” you state in a hard-tone, looking at him sharply.

“Nuh-uh, we still have a matter to discuss,” Takuya stated arrogantly, with an arrogant grin.

“What?” you ask, a little annoyed. “And let go of me first!”

Takuya smiled, and nodded, he let your hand go, but he did not back off, standing close mere inches to you. He carried on with his arrogant air, and he grinned confidently, “You still owe me a cup of coffee, Y/N-chan.”

You look at him incredulously, “What? I don’t owe you anything, not a cup of coffee in the least!”

“When I asked you to get a coffee together the last time, you didn’t say anything, I assume that was a ‘yes’ from you,” Takuya replied with a grin.

“You assume?! What kind of logic is that? You cannot assume anything from me when you practically know nothing about me. I didn’t say anything to you because I did not care about your offer, nor do I want to go out with you. How many times do I have to tell you that?” you say, annoyed.

“I will shut up if you go out with me,” Takuya stated with a charming smile.

You roll your eyes, and then you turn serious, looking at him dead-on. “Look here, Inoue-kun, I do not like you, and most importantly, I have a boyfriend, and I love him.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

While you and that lawyer were bickering in the conference room, some people are starting to cause a raucous outside, as Gojo Satoru and his just-as-handsome guy friends- Geto and Nanami have made their first appearance in the law firm in front of all of your bosses and colleagues, who gasped and stared in awe in stunned surprise. They had just landed back in Tokyo, after an overseas business trip to South Korea, and they headed off to the law firm after dropping everything off, as Satoru couldn’t wait to see you again. Knowing that the guys are probably here for you, the bosses and colleagues respectfully greeted them, but they did not bother them for selfies, although most of them were tempted to.

Your friend and colleague- Suki grinned on seeing them at the office, and greeted them brightly and cheerfully. “Hi guys, wow, this is a really nice surprise! Didn’t you just arrive? What are you doing here?”

Satoru, Geto and Nanami grinned.

“I cannot wait to see Y/N again,” Satoru replied with a grin.

Suki nodded in understanding, and then grinned, “Oh good, now that you are here, you can totally help her out.”

The boys frowned.

“What do you mean?” Satoru asked, confused.

Suki nodded her head towards the direction of the conference room, the boys looked and their eyes widened at the sight of a very annoyed you, and a clearly very flirtatious man, who stood very close to you, and way too close for Satoru’s liking. The boys turned back to Suki, still gob-smacked.

“What’s this?” Satoru asked.

“Don’t worry, Y/N is the most loyal and faithful person I know…” Suki replied.

Satoru nodded, “I know that, but who is that guy who is clearly flirting with my girl?”

Suki and the other boys grinned at Satoru’s use of the term ‘my girl’.

“That guy is also a lawyer, but a really flirtatious one, he has been hounding after Y/N for months and months, despite the fact that she has already told him thousand times that she has a boyfriend whom she loves, and despite the fact that your relationship is already public knowledge,” Suki explained with a sigh.

Satoru growled, “Who does he think he is?”

“This is why I said it’s so good that you are here now, you can assert yourself in front of him,” Suki stated.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, inside the conference room, you are delivering your final blow.

“Not to mention, you are incredibly disrespectful, you know very well who my boyfriend is, our relationship is no secret to the public, this clearly tells you that I have a boyfriend, and we are committed to one another, yet you are still persistent,” you state. “What on earth is wrong with you? We are done here.”  

You turn and back away, and immediately opened the conference room door and you are stunned to find yourself facing the grinning face of the love of your life. Not caring anyone else around, you quickly envelop him in a tight hug, and he was only more than happy to reciprocate.

“Oh my god, baby, what are you doing here so early? I thought you’d be taking a rest, didn’t you just arrive from Seoul?” you ask.

Satoru grinned, “I couldn’t wait to see you again, and I have missed you ever so much.”

“I’ve missed you so much too, baby,” you state back with a loving look.

Satoru smiled, so happy and content to be back with you, he leaned in to kiss you, and you happily kissed back, but he did not forget the one additional thing he has to do, that is, to assert himself as the boyfriend, right in front of the flirtatious male.

Cupping your face, he stared lovingly into your eyes, “How has work been for you? Not too stressed out or tired out, are you?”

Holding his hands in yours, you shook your head with a reassuring smile, “Baby, I am all good, don’t worry about me.”

He smiled lovingly at you, before casting his eyes up to stare at Inoue Takuya, he looked back at you, asking, “Who is this?”

“Oh, him, right, this is Inoue Takuya, the lawyer for the opposition in one of the cases I am working on now, we were meeting to negotiate and discuss a settlement,” you reply.

You turn to Takuya, smiling proudly, and introduced Satoru, “Inoue-kun, I’m sure he needs no introduction, he is the one I’ve been telling you so much about, my boyfriend- Gojo Satoru.”

You turn back to Satoru, smiling proudly at him, and he grinned back in return. Satoru then turned to Takuya, he did not smile, and stated seriously, and heavily emphasized, “Hello, Inoue-kun, I’m Gojo Satoru, Y/N’s boyfriend.”

Then, Satoru looked the guy up and down, and stepped up close, smirking, “I saw what you did, and as flattered as I am that you find Y/N very attractive to flirt…sorry to inform you that, there is no way in hell Y/N will ever leave me for you.”

You, standing at the back, watched on with amusement at your boyfriend’s cocky confidence, but you also can’t help enjoying him being territorial around you.

“Inoue-kun, can’t you find a girlfriend of your own?” Satoru continued taunting. “Or are you so terrible at it, that you have to hit on someone else’s girlfriend? I’d appreciate it if you stop doing that to Y/N, my girlfriend.”

Without another word, with a cocky grin, Satoru turned back to you, and wrapped an arm around your waist, held you close and led you out of the room.

“Oh, Mr. Gojo, you are so territorial,” you comment with a grin.

“You don’t like it?” Satoru asked, an eyebrow raised.

“Oh, I love it!” you reply with a grin.

[leossmoonn]

Cheating on You [Klaus Mikealson]

masterlist

pairing - klaus mikealson x fem!reader

type - angst, fluff

note - hey, guys! if youve seen and read my masterlist, then you know i have done a few of these lyric type of imagines and i love em! this is based on ‘cheating on you’ by charlie puth. enjoy!

summary - klaus is heartbroken and is recalling memories of you two. you two meet again at a mall and he hopes youll give him a second chance.

warnings - language 

————

*gif isnt mine*

It started with a kiss

On your momma's couch

2012 was nothing serious

Klaus Mikealson was heartbroken. So heartbroken, in fact, that he had paused his plans from being the king of New Orleans because he had lost his queen.

Her name was Y/n L/n. She wasn’t new to New Orleans, and definitely was not new to the world Klaus had lived in. She was a vampire. 150 years old to be exact. Klaus never understood why they didn’t meet sooner, but he was glad they’d met at all.

Y/n was a fiery, gorgeous girl that Klaus couldn’t help but love at the first sight.

You and him met at the bar. He called you pretty and asked to by you a drink, and you accepted. After that, you two had ended up in your parent’s house, on the couch. Your parents were dead, of course, but you decided to live in the house anyways. It was there, available, and already paid for.

That night, Klaus and you slept together. Both being drunk and finding each other hot, you just went at it. The next morning, you found him gone. You were sad and wished he had stayed to at least give you his number. After that day, you hadn’t seen him for another week until your friend, Hayley, brought you to the Mikealson’s house because you wanted to help. Little did you know, it was Klaus’s house.

And then we caught the feels

It got really real

Too good to be true

I guess I thought you was, yeah

The same day you met formally, Klaus had asked you on a date. You were absolutely overjoyed. You didn’t know when or where you would see him again after this, so of course you took the offer.

You two didn’t realize until you started dating that you two would be the most feared and adored couple in New Orleans. Klaus, wanting to be king and rule, and you, his queen and second command. You were ready to fight with him whenever he needed.

Your relationship was amazing. The dates, the late nights, fighting together, the sex. You never thought you would ever experience these deep feelings for someone. After all this time of just pure living, you were happy and sure that you had found your soulmate. Klaus thought the exact same thing, too. He loved you with all his might, and would never ever dare to let you go.

Why did I run away, run away, run away?

Oh, your love was everything, everything, everything

I know it's gettin' late, gettin' late, gettin' late

But can I still be on my way, on my way? Yeah

After three faithful years, though, something happened. Something you never thought would. Klaus had cheated on you with this girl named Camille O’ Connell. Your best friend, Hayley, told you after walking in on them. Furious as ever and ready to run to tell you.

That night, Klaus had tried to get you back, but it never worked.

“Y/n, please!” Klaus exclaimed, running after you. You ran out of the house, sobbing.

Klaus had put his hand on your wrist, pulling you back to face him.

“What, Klaus!” You shouted. He looked at you. For once, the big bad hybrid was scared. No, not scared; terrified.

“Y/n, I’m sorry. We were drunk, I didn’t mean for it to happen,” Klaus tried to explain himself.

You shook your head, yanking your wrist out from his hand. “You aren’t drunk. You are perfectly sober. Don’t try to lie to me, Klaus Mikealson.”

Klaus looked at you, broken. He didn’t know what to do. He was completely helpless.

“I’m sorry, love. I just... she seduced me!”

“You know how many guys have tried to seduce me?” You asked. “A lot. But you know what, I never said yes. I never even thought of saying yes. And you want to know why? Because... I-I love-loved you,” you screamed, your voice cracking. It hurt you to tell him that you didn’t love him anymore, but you were dealing with this. You had been cheated on before and you knew now not to take anyone’s shit.

“Y-you don’t love me anymore?” Klaus asked. You could see the tears pool in his eyes. It broke your heart to see him hurt, but he did this. He did this to himself.

“No,” you stated. You turned to walk away, but Klaus appeared in front of you.

“Please don’t go. I can make it better. I’ll vow to you that I’ll never sleep with anyone but you. I-”

You laughed, not believing him right now. “For fucksake, Niklaus! You should’ve vowed that in the beginning of this relationship!”

“I.. I did,” he said, getting quieter.

“You... You know, I loved you. I thought you were my soulmate. I thought that we were going to rule New Orleans together,” you cried.

Klaus watched you break down. He wanted to reach out and hold you, kiss your head and tell you everything was going to be okay, but he restrained himself. He knew you would just yell at him more and pull away.

“I was so ready to drop everything for you. For your stupid fucking plan! Did you know that? Huh? I really was ready to commit to whatever you wanted. But again, you are just so selfish-”

This time, he cut you off, angry.

“Don’t disrespect me that way, little vampire.”

You shushed him. “No. No, you don’t deserve my respect. Not anymore. You are just a selfish person, Niklaus. And I don’t want to see you ever, ever again,” you spat.

You then walked away, and Klaus let you. Tears streamed down his face, not believing what just happened. He heard voices and noticed his sister, Rebekah, and older brother, Elijah, watching and gossiping. Klaus was too tired and sad to even yell at then. He just stared at the spot you once stood, knowing he had just made the biggest mistake in his life.

After that night, he had made his way to his room. Sobbing. He didn’t come out for months. His siblings had to slip in blood bags and regular food occasionally. They tried to talk to him, to get him to come out. But he never answered.

One day, though, six months later, he came out. His hair and beard were long. He looked ready to kill. Elijah had tried to make sense to him, but the heartbreak was still there. He was tired of sitting in his bed, looking at pictures of you, so he did the next best thing: he went out to kill.

I know I said, "Goodbye, " and, baby, you said it too

But when I touch her, I feel like I'm cheating on you

I thought that I'd be better when I found someone new

But when I touch her, I feel like I'm cheating on you

A week after he came out, he had already slept and ate more than half of the city. He hadn’t turned his humanity off, actually. He just felt nothing and proceeded to do nothing to fix it.

You were still in his mind. Every day he woke up, he still expected you to be there. Curled up next to him, sleeping peacefully. Every time he would plan something, he was used to you being by his side. Arguing with him, agreeing, and kissing him when your guy’s plan was perfect and ready to launch. Every night, he would look at his bed, imagining you there. Reading a book or sitting on the bed in lingerie, waiting to be given one of the best nights of your life. But sadly, it was just in his head. You weren’t there, you never would be again.

Even when he slept with someone you were in his mind. Every time he would touch another woman, kiss her, he felt the same guilt he felt when you found out he was sleeping with Cami. He still slept with them though. It turned out you were right. He realized he was selfish and only cared about himself. Oh, how he wished he could change the past.

He never thought he would see you again, but low and behold, he did. You were at the mall with Hayley, shopping for clothes for Hope, Hayley and Klaus’s child.

Funnily enough, you weren’t bothered by the fact Klaus had slept with Hayley. It was before you got together and you didn’t want to admit it, but they produced a beautiful baby girl.

Klaus had spotted you across the store, his heart stopping. You looked happy. Very happy. It made his blood boil, but he knew it wasn’t fair to get mad. You two had said your goodbyes, there was no reason to get mad anymore.

Baby, now, oh, cheating on you

Baby, now

But when I touch her, I feel like I'm cheating on you

While shopping, Hayley had noticed Klaus. You saw her looking at something and saw it was him. Your heart stopped as well. You thought you were over him, but turns out, you thought he was just as handsome as he was before. He looked twice as good as before. And your heart hurt three times more than it ever did. You still loved him, despite you saying you didn’t and telling yourself you didn’t. You knew deep down that the love as intense as you had felt for Klaus would never go away. No matter how much time passed, it would never go away.

“I’m going to talk to him,” you decided. Hayley looked at you, shocked.

“What? Why? We hate him, remember,” Hayley said.

“I know, but, I just want to talk to him,” you shrugged and gave the clothes you had in your hands to Hayley. You ran off before she could convince you not to.

You wanted to give him another chance. You knew that you would never find a love as great as your’s and Klaus’s, so you wanted to try again. You knew you were going against your own morals, but Klaus was something else. You also knew that over the year and a half, you had worked on yourself. Your body and your mind. You knew that you were worth something. You were capable of being loved. And if he didn’t want you, then it was his loss.

You walked up to him, trying to seem confident. He smirked, noticing your efforts.

“Hello, love,” he said.

“Hi, Klaus,” you sighed.

He looked over you. You were still as gorgeous as ever.

“How are you?” He asked. “Good, and you?” You asked.

“Splendid. What have you been up to?”

“Nothing much,” you shrugged. You asked him the same question in return.

“Same old. Sleeping with women, binge drinking, plotting to take over the city and world,” he smirked.

Your face fell when he said the first thing. You grimaced at him. “You haven’t changed a bit Klaus. You know, I came over here, wanting to give you a chance.”

You went to walk away, but Klaus put his hand on your shoulder. Butterflies irrupted in your stomach, making your legs go weak.

Instead of walking away, you turned around. You were wondering what he was going to say.

“Y/n, look, I’m sorry,” he started. “I am terribly sorry for what I did to you. I have realized now that you are the only woman I love. You will always be the only woman I truly love. I have no explanation for my past behavior other than I am a fucking moron. I lost you and I don’t want to again. And I would love it if you gave me another chance. Whatever it takes, please give me another chance. I’ll change, I promise,” he poured out.

You looked into his eyes, knowing it was the truth. You sighed and put your hand on his bicep.

“You don’t have to change totally. I just want to know that you will work for my trust again. You have to earn it now,” you said.

Klaus smiled, “I will. I promise. You will see me change. You have my word.”

“Good,” you said, knowing he was truthful. “But before we sleep together again, get tested.”

Klaus blushed, “I will, don’t worry. And sleeping with all those women made it feel like I was cheating on you. I never want to make you feel that way again. And I sure as hell don’t want to feel that guilt again. So, let me take you to dinner tonight. Anywhere you want, anytime.”

You smiled and nodded. “Deal. How about tonight at 8 we can go where we met first.”

He nodded excitedly. For the first time, he felt hopeful.

“Remember, if you cheat on me again, I will make sure your ass ends up in a coffin forever,” you half-teased.

“Don’t worry, Y/n. I promise you I won’t. Like I said, you have my word,” he said, scooting closer to you. “I love you, Y/n L/n.”

You leaned in and said, “I love you, too, Niklaus Mikealson.”

————

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[humanitysstrongestmidget]

Come back to me! Part 2

Requested by  @naturakaashi ; so sorry it took so long to post it, work and school had been a hell the past month. But thank you for liking the story and I hope part 2 lives up to your expectations. Please feel free to give some feedback, would love it a lot. Well I hope you have a good day/night.

Summary - After 3 years of being kidnapped, you were finally back home with your son. You were overjoyed to finally being back to safety, but how would you talk with Levi? How could you tell him that your son was his, without knowing if he loved you back or not? So you did the one thing that you believed was best, avoiding the man for as long as it was possible. Yet you would never have expected this outcome nor do you ever want to trade it with anything else.

Paring - Levi Ackerman x F! Reader

Warnings - mentioned murders (not in details!), tiny bit of angst, once mentioned death

Written by: Admin Accalia 🐺

REQUEST IS OPEN :-)

PARTS: 1 / 2 

Sons name: Hiroto

o   Meaning: Fly Far, Big Flight

________________________________________________________________

 FLASHBACK:

There you were walking towards him safe and alive after 3 years of missing, holding hands with a little boy who looked just like him.

PRESENT:

You had been home for two weeks now. All your friends wanted to know what had happened that faithful night you disappeared and how you had survived for the past 3 years, also where the little boy came from. Yet you explained to them that you were not fully ready to tell them about your kidnapping and you also had to make sure that your son Hiroto got well-adjusted to his new home. Even though they had many questions and wanted answers, they all were respectful of your decision and waited till the time you would be ready to tell them. They also were very kind and gentle towards Hiroto, helping you with him whenever you needed rest or had to do something else. Though there was one person you still have not talked with yet or introduced Hiroto to, Levi. Despite knowing you had to do it sooner or later, you chose later because you did not know how to start that conversation with him. How could you explain to a man, who you did not even know if he loved you back, that the little boy was his son and was the big reason why you left with kidnappers willingly. You did not even know how Levi had reacted to you being gone, although you could see on his form that he had lost some weight but that could be explained with hard training and missions.

 It was a little past dinner time and all the soldiers had already eaten and left when you and Hiroto came to the cafeteria. You laid out some toys on the ground for Hiroto to play with while you ate your dinner, Hiroto had already eaten his dinner. You sat down at the table and started to eat your dinner, while watching your son play, minding your own business till the sound of a cup being placed on the table brought you out of your thoughts. You looked to the side to see Hange sitting down beside you with a cup of coffee, you smiled at her, her smiling back at you. “It is so good to have you back Y/N, even with this new addition to the crew,” she nodded towards Hiroto, you glanced at your son happily playing on the ground before looking back at the woman, “May I ask you a personal question?”. You sighed, placing your fork down on the plate, and nodded, you knew it was about time for you to answer some of your friend’s questions. You also thought it was best to talk to Hange first. She could help you when it was time to answer the rest of the crew’s many questions, in case it got too overwhelming for you then she would be able to step in and answer for you. She quietly asked, “Is it his?”, you knew she was referring to Levi, and to that you nodded, Hange sighed softly, “Of course it is, he looks a lot like Levi, especially the expressions he makes yet he has your eyes”. You smiled at the comparison; you loved your son’s eyes the most mainly because they reminded you of Levi despite Hiroto having your eye color. You slowly turned to Hange and frowned, “Hange, could you tell me how Levi reacted to me being gone?”, the woman took a big sip from the cup before placing it down onto the table and took a deep shaky breath, bracing herself to tell you about the hardships her poor friend had been through since you disappeared.

 You were so focused on Hange’s story that none of you noticed Hiroto leaving the cafeteria and had decided to explore the hallways out of boredom. The little boy walked slowly down the hallways until he saw a butterfly, he started chasing the butterfly down the hallways not looking where he was going. Suddenly he bumped into a person’s legs and fell onto the ground with a soft thud and a little scream. A hand came into the little boy’s sight and he grabbed it, the person helping him to stand up again. When Hiroto finally looked at the person, he found himself looking into eyes that resembled a lot like his own, he gasped rather loudly at the man who was crouching down in front of him, “Hey you look a lot like me!”.

 You were running down the hallways towards the sound of your son’s scream, your conversation with Hange cut short when you both noticed that Hiroto was no longer in the cafeteria with you. You rounded a corner and saw your son talking to a person, you did not even check who it was before pulling your son into your embrace. Your hands then rested on Hiroto’s cheeks making him look at you, before scolding him softly, “Yah you little brat! What did mommy tell you about you leaving without asking for permission or telling her where you would go?”, you heard a soft chuckle at the word ‘brat’, yet you still didn’t look at the person. Hiroto looked at you a little sad before answering quietly “Not to run or leave without telling mommy because there is a lot of dangerous people in this world or I could get lost, I’m sorry mommy, I got bored!” you smiled softly at the boy and hugged him, his arms circling your neck, “ I know baby, mommy is sorry too, I should have played with you earlier but one of mommy’s friends had to talk to her”. Hiroto suddenly pushed you off him and smiled brightly at you, pointing his little finger at the person whom you have not even addressed, “Look mommy, I found daddy for you!” Hiroto was so proud of himself for finding his daddy, a man you had described and told a lot of bedtime stories of the man to him, you turned your head to the person not even masking your shock when you saw who the person in front of you was. Of course, it was no other than the man himself, Levi.

An hour later you were in Levi’s office. You had put Hiroto to bed after telling him you would explain everything to him in the morning and had asked Hange to watch him as you will talk to Levi. Hange was more than happy to help and that the two of you would finally talk, she told you she had some paperwork that she would finish while watching your son. Now here you were, in Levi’s office, alone with the man. You stood at the entrance too nervous to make any movements, Levi kept himself busy by making some tea for the two of you, as he was gathering his thoughts. He placed the two cups on the table and sat down in one of the chairs, looking at you with a rather soft expression, one only you had seen and one he had not used for the past 3 years. “Come, sit down and have some tea,” he gestured towards the chair, you sat down and took a sip of the tea he made, you were surprised, he remembered how you liked your tea sweet and not bitter like his. He placed down the cup before looking at you with a serious expression, “Care to explain to me what happened that night 3 years ago and how you have managed to survive, not only you but your son too,” softly placing the cup down, you sighed. You then started to explain to him how you had willingly left with your kidnappers, how they had made you do some of their dirty work which involved killing people who were far worse than them, how they had made you act like a housewife by cooking and cleaning and some other stuff too for them. Surprisingly by you doing all of that, they never put a hand on you nor your son and did not show any gruesome stuff to him, they were nice to you, only if you dismissed the fact of them being your kidnappers and murders. The only main effect they wanted from you being kidnapped was to break down Levi, as they had some unfinished business with him, the business you still did not what was and did not know if you ever wanted to know. As you were explaining it all for Levi, your hands had started shaking, flashbacks of the murders you had to commit resurfacing. Levi had noticed your hands shaking and placed his own on the top of yours, rubbing his thumb softly against your skin, an act that would usually calm you down, as it did now. When you were done, the man handed you your cup, making you drink something before gently taking the cup from you and placing his hands back on top of yours again.

 The atmosphere in the room changed, and the roles were reversed, instead of you being the nervous one Levi was it now. He took a shaky breath before looking at you, his face stoic but his eyes were soft, “Is… Is he mine?” you looked down at your entwined hands, and couldn’t help but laugh softly, “Captain – Levi, he looks so much like you, what do you self-think?”. The man shook his head, “Why did you not tell me? Why did you leave that morning? I – I thought we had something?” you let go of Levi’s hands before standing up, laughing dryly, “We had something? Levi, all we would do was get drunk and sleep together, then the next few days you would be ice cold to me, acting as if you did not even know me, as if I meant nothing. So, explain to me how I could tell someone, who treated me like a ragdoll, that I was pregnant with his son!?” Levi avoided looking at you, ashamed of his treatment towards you. “ I am so sorry of how I have treated you… you must understand that I mean it. I guess I was confused about my feelings and was scared…” confused you asked “Scared? Scared of what?” he took a deep breath, “I was scared that if I confessed to you, we would end up together and I would for once have some happiness in my life, only for it to get taken away from me, once again. What if a titan attacked you and I could not be there to protect you! What if you died! I would not know what to do with myself if I lost you, so I decided to act cold to push you away, yet I kept going back to you… but I cannot lose you, not again!”.

You crouched down in front of the man and took his hands in yours, “Levi, look at me,” he shook his head, he could not show you his teary eyes, he did not deserve to cry in front of you, not after the way he had treated you and the fact that it was his enemies that took you away was clouding his mind. You sighed, after talking with Hange and knowing how Levi had been for the past 3 years, you knew he would feel guilty, you just did not expect it to be this much. Softly placing your hands on his cheeks, you raised his head, making his teary eyes meet yours, “Levi I want you to listen carefully to what I’m about to say, can you do that for me?” you were being careful with your words and tone, you did not want to scare him off, not now when he was showing his vulnerable side to you, which was rare. He nodded, your thumbs rubbing his cheeks making him relax, “None of this is your fault, okay! You did not know what would happen, no one did. You’re not going to lose me, not again, I am not going anywhere”. Closing your eyes, you rested your forehead against his forehead, your breaths mixing, you waited for a few seconds in peaceful silence before whispering, “Both Hiroto and I are not going anywhere, not without you, never again”. By now tears were falling freely down on both of your faces. Levi grabbed your arms, pulling your body onto his lap, and held so tightly, scared if he let go you would disappear again.

 The moment was cut short when the door burst open, and in came a crying Hiroto, followed by a panicked Hange. You quickly bent down to pick Hiroto up, rubbing up and down on his back, trying to calm him down, Levi stood up too and looked at Hange, his eyes fierce by seeing his son cry, “Oi four eyes, what happened? Why the hell is he crying? What exactly did you do!?”. You placed a hand on Levi’s shoulder, as a sign to calm down and not yell when Hiroto was already crying, “I do not know what happened, I was doing paperwork and I glanced at him seeing him sleeping peacefully. So I continued doing work when he suddenly shot up screaming and crying for his mum, I couldn’t calm him down so I thought it was best to take him to you” Hange looked at you, sad that she could not calm the little boy down. You smiled at her softly, “It is okay Hange, this happens sometimes, you did the right thing by bringing him to me. Thank you for watching him even though you had work to do,” She finally smiled and nodded, waving goodbye as she left the room, closing the door behind her.

 After some minutes of pacing around the room, Hiroto finally calmed down, so you sat down on one of the chairs making Hiroto sit in your lap, Levi pulling his chair beside you also sitting down. You could see worry all over Levi’s face, so you explained quietly how Hiroto sometimes would get nightmares about the screams he would hear at the kidnapper’s house. Despite them never making Hiroto watch the gruesome stuff, the little boy unfortunately sometimes heard the stuff. Slowly and carefully, you lifted Hiroto’s head, making him look at both you and Levi, “Hey bud, you’re feeling better?” he nodded wiping his face with the sleeve of his pajama, “That’s good, do you remember this man? Do you know who he is,” You pointed towards Levi, wanting to see if Hiroto still remembered the dots he connected last time you bumped into Levi. The little boy nodded, looking at you with big shining eyes, “He is my daddy, right mommy? I remember the bedtime stories and he looks a lot like me” you smiled, of course, he remembered the bedtime stories, he would not go to sleep without you telling him one about his brave father. “That is right bud, this is your daddy,” Hiroto’s face light up, the biggest smile you had ever seen covering his face and his eyes got brighter if that was even possible, he turned his body and reached out his small arms to Levi, exclaiming, “DADDY, I’M BACK” you laughed at his outburst. You handed Hiroto over to Levi and laughed once again, the little boy was hugging his dad so tightly with his arms around Levi’s neck, that you were scared he would end up choking his dad with the grip he had, while Levi looked at you with wide eyes before relaxing, hugging back his son.

By Hiroto’s request, all three of you were now laying together in Levi’s bed, with the boy sleeping peacefully between his parents, something he had dreamt of. Levi could not sleep, not yet, his eyes taking in the sight before him, his arm over the two of you. His love and his son, sound asleep beside him. After years of different kinds of pain, mentally and physically, loss of friends who were family, he felt joy and peace at last. This was his, his own little family, and hopefully with the years to come it would grow bigger. He leaned over Hiroto placing a kiss softly on your forehead, “Thank you, thank you so much for loving me and bringing me this happiness. I will forever be thankful for you and treat you with the love you deserve, the love you are bringing me,” he then kissed Hiroto’s forehead, “I will always protect you and mommy, my little brave boy,” Levi whispered before laying down, sleep and peace filling his body.