#also the bit about billy's eyes going big and bright after his first sip of mexican hot chocolate is based on a friend of my sister's

[sketchy-scribs-n-doods]

Bee and Argie, Billy and Argyle

Arturo Guillermo Franco Valdes.

Arturo Guillermo, and a friend that calls him Guille, Artie, Argie.

A red faced Billy that pronounces Guillermo as ‘Gah-ee-ler-moh’ before learning that ‘ll’ makes a ‘yuh’ sound in Spanish.

Artie calling him Bee-yee, and later Bee, as a joke because of it.

Billy tosses out nicknames like the affection he’s never been sure how to express. But he loves the way his friend's name rolls off his tongue, the syllables strange and clunky and a challenge that Billy readily takes up. Soon, it falls full and melodic from his lips, prettier than any song he's ever heard on the old radio his mom left him with.

Mi amigo, Arturo.

Argie tells him not to sweat it, but Billy doesn’t understand why nobody else seems to want to make the effort. Like it’s too difficult, or like Argie isn’t worth the effort. Most of the other Mexican kids at school already know how to pronounce the names that give their white teachers pause, but outside of that demographic there’s a pathetic lack of effort that incites Billy sometimes. 

“Don’t sweat it, bro. Not everyone can roll their Rs as good as you.”

“What, like it’s hard? Fuckin’ idiots.”

(Years later, when they find each other again, Billy will know why his old friend Argie goes by Argyle, because Argyle will nudge him with a serene little smile of his and say, “Long time no see, Bee. Your ol’ pal Artie Gyle-ermo missed you, amigo.”)

Once, early in their friendship, Billy asks Argie why he has so many damn names. Why does he need like half a dozen of them? And Argie says,

“Well, I dunno. I think it makes me pretty damn special, though. How many ‘Arturo Guillermo Franco Valdes’ do you know?”

“Just you, obviously. But that doesn’t mean much, I don’t know any other ‘William Hargrove’s either.”

“Maybe not. But it’s prolly a lot easier for some random Hargrove to be named Billy than for someone to line up a buncha random names to smash together and create a Franco Valdes named Arturo Guillermo.”

“That ‘random Hargrove’ is me, jackass!”

“Exactly!”

“At least my name’s not a fuckin’ mouthful!”

“Oh, so I’m a mouthful, am I?”

“Fuck you!”

A few months later, well into Billy's friendship with Argyle, the kid invites him over to his place to check out his new bike or something, Billy doesn't remember.

What he does remember is meeting Argyle's dad and paternal grandma, Nana Hermelinda.

It's getting colder, for California at least, and Nana insists on making the kids chocolate abuelita while Argyle's dad is at work. A much richer hot chocolate than Billy is used to, the smell is spicy sweet and warm in the air as it foams up in the pot Nana is using, instead of the mild chemical sweetness of the mugs Billy puts in the microwave when he can sneak a packet of Swiss Miss in the winter. Her worn, wrinkled hands make quick work of it, expertly spinning between them a wooden stick with rotating round bits at the end that goes into the frothy mix. Nana calls it a molinillo when she sees him looking at it, and rather than freeze up over being caught staring, as he normally would, Billy instead finds himself trying to pronounce the new word for the remaining five minutes the chocolate takes to finish. The air feels almost soft around him, pleasantly warm and sweet like cinnamon as Nana lets the mixture cool while she searches for mugs in the cabinet above them. When she offers him his own, a brown mug with a rounded bottom and pretty dotted flower designs on its shiny finish, Billy is shy and hesitant to take it. But the warmth as he wraps his chilly fingers around it is welcoming and its smells so good. The first sip is cautious, slow like he's still unsure about whether he's allowed something so warm and comforting.

It's incredible.

Billy's pretty blue eyes light up like Argyle has never seen before. He can feel his heart thump awkwardly in his chest as those baby blues shine bright in the soft yellow light of the kitchen.

Then Billy lowers the mug, and a little mustache of foamed milk and chocolate lines his upper lip. Argyle quickly forgets the brief stutter of his heartbeat and cackles at the sight.

Billy is too busy having a religious experience over his mug of hot chocolate to bother with telling him to shut up like he normally would, but he doesn't truly mind- he likes the sound of Argie's loud bouncing laughter.

Nana looks fondly at them over her own mug, sitting comfortably on a stool by the kitchen counter as Billy politely thanks her for the drink with what little clumsy Spanish he's learned from Argyle so far. She coos at him, putting down her mug as she answers in a kind, lilting Spanish that Argyle will later tell him roughly means, "Of course, love. Come here whenever you like. I will make you a mug anytime, son." Billy inhales the warm steam wafting up from the mug he holds tight as Nana places a gentle hand on his cheek and calls him mijo.

Years later, Billy still remembers it as one of the last times he'd felt so held and cared for.

[demibillyloomis]

Poly Ghostface with reader having sensory overload

(I have bad sensory issues and had a bit of trouble earlier today so now I’m thinking about it... maybe someone else will like it, also I’m sorry if this isn’t reflective of how it is for anyone else, I just based it off of my own experience and it’s like 90% just Billy and Stu being slightly out of character A+ boyfriends ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

Warnings: overstimulated, mentions of stimming though not at all specified, mostly fluff idk what to say, mentions of alcohol and a small allusion or two to drugs use (weed and the possibility of something else)...

It was Stu’s idea to host a party at the shared apartment. While you and Billy had both initially agreed, it didn’t take too long for you to change your mind.

The music was too loud, lights flashing in all corners of the room, people yelling and laughing and every single ounce of it coming at you full force all at once. At first it was fun, a little overwhelming but you where still calm, sitting with Stu as he charmed everyone around, focusing on the calming fabric of his sweater where his lanky arms wrapped around you, but within 30 minutes Stu was gone laughing and talking with people you weren’t sure he had ever met before. For a bit you just watched him, dancing like an idiot with strangers, and admiring the way the world seemed to come to life as he laughed, a small smile dancing on your lips, because even though you couldn’t hear the joke over the blaring music just seeing the way he laughed was contagious.

Once you lost sight of him though, you where left uncomfortably aware of your surroundings. It didn’t take long at all after that for it to send you spiralling. Of course the ever alert Billy noticed it first, the way your hands were shaking, picking up on how you were quietly stimming in the background of the party. You’re rocking in the corner trying to ground yourself and nearly jump out of your skin when he slips in, probably not actually being stealthy but with everything else coming full force at you, it was impossible to notice the less obviously eccentric of your boyfriends as he came up.

“Hey babylove, are you okay?” He ask but you can barely hear him over the music just shaking lightly as you try to focus on him. You take a deep breath as you count the things you can see, Billy’s big eyes staring at you with worry, they way his lips are parted slightly in confusion and his eyebrows pulled closer together, you see his lips move again but you can’t hear what he says, it’s just blending in with everything else, all coming at you too fast. You barley notice when he grabs your arm, jumping slightly, and not noticing as the worry somehow takes over more of his face.

He slowly walks you out of the party area going into the bedroom you all share, unlocking the door and closing it gently behind him again, the music is gone once you're in the safety of the room, and an almost deafening silence falls. The only sound now is your heavy breathing and the way your heart is pounding against your ribs. Billy, still almost uncharacteristically gentle, walks you to the bed, helping you sit down and you focus on the way his hand is warm and familiar as it cups the side of your face.

“Did you take anything babylove?” The nickname barley catching you attention over how your own laboured breath, but you catch it after a moment and slowly shake your head to deny, you remember absently that you had taken maybe a sip of Stu’s beer earlier but nothing else. You see Billy nod slowly, “Okay, was it just too much out there for you?” He ask again, his voice meant to sound soft and soothing, still feels loud and over powering as the world still closes in around you. He gently rubs his thumb across your cheek, making you take a note of the tears you were previously unaware of. “Babylove can you answer me?” He ask again, his voice slightly louder, and you shake your head again.

“Too much” you barley choke out as your rocking becomes slightly faster, and the tears in your eyes heavier. He whips them away once more, letting out a low hum.

“Do you want one of Stu’s sweaters?” He ask, remembering how the last time this happened, you had clung and fiddled with the material for comfort. You nod your head slowly still trying to calm yourself as he gets up to grab one from a basket of folded clothes you three had not bothered putting up before the party.

Once he hands you the familiar cloth, you cling to it tightly, feeling his arms wrap around you, he pulls you gently against him as you sob quietly burying your face in the soft material.

Once your breathing is mostly back to normal, Billy moves you so he’s spooning you from behind, pressing gentle kisses to the side of your face, “How are you feeling now babylove?” He whispers against your neck.

“A little better,” you answer even though your voice is still just a whimper and your throat is a bit raw from crying.

He kisses you again, still as gentle as can be, and you let out a sigh before the door swings open and Stu stumbles in oblivious and a tipsy, the door wide and letting the still blasting techno music fill the room, “Finally there you two are I’ve been looking for you for like twenty minutes,” his voice is loud and grating against your ears and you wince curling up farther into yourself as it all hits you again, “Fuck Y/N what happened,” he says in a softer and worried tone, shutting the door being him and rushing into the room, he crouches next to the bed, reaching over to trace your face, “Y/N are you okay love?” He questions, his eyes are red as you take him in and shake your head slowly.

“The party got too much for them, I brought them in here to help, they were feeling better a bit ago,” Billy answers for you, his voice somehow even softer before, but you’re positive he’s glaring daggers at your other partner.

Stu hangs his head in shame, “I’m so sorry Y/N, I never would have suggested we do this if I thought it would be too much for you, hey I’m going to get them out of the apartment and close everything down okay, do you want me to bring you something to drink? I think we’ve still got some of your favourite in the fridge?” His voice is low but rushed and panicked, and before you can respond you feel Billy nod behind you, and Stu is once again out of the room.

Billy’s grip on you tightens for a moment after he leaves, “I’m sorry babylove you know how Stu gets,he whispers against your neck.

“S’okay, still love him,” you whimper out again, and Billy kisses you once more laughing slightly.

“Yeah me too, just wish he’d use his brain a bit more often,” he jokes lightly, earning a small cut off laugh from you.

The two of you fall into a soft silence, your body and mind finally calming down completely, after what you assume must be at least a few hours locked away inside the bedroom.

The exhaustion it slowly taking over your body when Stu comes back in, holding a cup and smiling softly at you, the hall is now silent as he walk into the room, leaving the door wide open. He sits in front of you on the bed, using his free hand to caress your face, “Can you sit up for me Y/N?” He ask you and you nod rubbing you eyes slowly as Billy helps you sit up, and Stu gently hands you the cup, placing a soft kiss on your cheek.

“I’m so sorry Y/N, you know I would have kicked those randos out if you had come to me earlier right?” He ask, and you notice the look of guilt on his. You take a sip of the drink, smiling a little as you nod, before leaning against him, and feeling his long arms wrap around you, as he presses another kiss to your forehead. “Is there anything I can do to make this up to you darling?” He ask and you look up at him a tired smile gracing your face.

You smile wider before you tap your lips twice, earning a bright smile and one of his ever famous laughs from the taller of your lovers before he leans down and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips, and you both laugh together as Billy makes an offended sound from behind you, so you turn to give him a kiss as well, and watch as Stu kisses him too.

Billy presses another kiss onto your shoulders before he speaks again, “Hurry and drink that babylove so you can get ready for bed, okay, imma get you something to change into,” he gives one more kiss to each of you before leaving the bed to do as he said. You look back at Stu who gives you another kiss.

“I love you,” he tells you, and you nod with a smile.

“Love you too,” you tell him before cuddling back into his chest while you finish your drink. Even if your boys aren’t always the best, there’s times when they make sure you know you’re loved, and even if it hurts sometimes to get those reminders, you couldn’t imagine it any other way.

[theonewiththefanfics]

Give You Hell (one-shot)

Synopsis: When you’re in a relationship with someone famous while being famous it can be difficult. But not for the Reader and Harry, yet when her past comes knocking, she’ll make sure to know where she stands.

Pairing: Harry Styles x fem!Reader

Genre: fluff, some minor angst, like microscopic 

Warnings: swearing, reference to past abusive relationship, but nothing explicit.

Word count: 3428

100% inspired by ‘All American Rejects’’ ‘Gives You Hell’

Dating someone famous while being famous yourself had pros and cons, much like everything in life. The cons mostly came from the outside, not from the inside. It was the opinions of others, thinking what they said mattered, the scrutiny of the press, hoping one of them would mess up, and they could run some bullshit article just so their numbers could go up, without a second thought of how the people involved felt, and it was some jealous fans who didn’t seem to comprehend the people they admired were actual human beings with feelings and thoughts and emotions and autonomy. But other than that, Y/N’s and Harry’s relationship was just like any other. Save for when their emotions bubbled over, millions of people heard them in songs.        They’d met at the iconic yellow-suit-Harry Brit awards. She’d been right next to Hugh Jackman opening the show, a red glittering bodysuit with a black and gold ring-master jacket, a top hat adorning her head as she dominated the stage. If Harry had been sloshed at that point (much like he was later on, but who was Y/N to say, given how most of the night was a blur for her), he would’ve absolutely started drooling at the sight of her, and he was one of the thousands who stood up, hollering and clapping as she and Hugh ended their performance.

       Much to his dismay though, Y/N wasn’t one of the people assigned to sit by his table, instead, she was a couple of rows behind, whispering something into Billie Eilish’s ear, the two erupting into uncontrollable laughter.        He felt like a creep as he tried to catch every possible glimpse of Y/N, her smile making his heart race. She’d been on his radar for a while, had even thought about asking her to collaborate on a song for ‘Fine Line’, but at the end of the day, it was an album of personal discovery (and when one of his producers told him Y/N was halfway across the world in the middle of Norwegian woods for the next half-year working on her own music, he didn’t want to be a bother). But seeing her then, Harry wondered why he hadn’t reached out on his own, especially after at the after-party Lizzo had dragged Y/N to him and introduced the two.        The following day, pictures of them dancing together, drinks in hands and drunken grins on their faces would sweep the web, sparking millions of rumours, but, at that moment, they didn’t care, nor did they care about what was written because as Harry twirled Y/N under his arm, as much as the connection was there, that night they went their separate ways. Even when they were drunk, they understood that about the other person, and wouldn’t accept anything else, but a sober and coherent ‘yes’.        Sometime midday the next day, Harry reached out to Y/N through a DM on Instagram checking in on how she was doing, which then turned into a six-hour FaceTime call.        “What do you mean you’ve never had a hangover?!”        Y/N laughed at Harry’s almost offended expression. “I mean I’ve never had a hangover. I’ve never thrown up while drunk or after being drunk, my head’s never hurt – nothing. I mean I’m tired, but that’s because I’m still on New York time and got to bed at like five AM.”        “You… are something else.”        She wiggled her eyebrows. “Is that something else something good?”        Y/N didn’t know, but when Harry saw her eyes sparkle, his heart skipped a beat, and he immediately knew – she was it. “The best.”        “Well…” she bit her lip. “If I’m the best, would it be too forward of me to ask you out for a coffee?”        What Harry didn’t know was that when she saw him smile as if those were the best news in the world, her heart skipped as well, and she knew he was the one.        “Only if it’s my treat.”        “But I was the one who asked you out.”        “Yes, but you can pay for the second date.”        Holding in her squeals of joy was tough, but she raised her eyebrow, giving Harry a sly smirk. “Already so confident there’ll be a second date?”        Harry scoffed. “And a wedding!”        Seeing Y/N throw back her head as she laughed, made all sorts of butterflies fly through his stomach.        “Okay, Styles. I’ll take your word for it.”        Three months into the relationship, the two were booked to appear on The Graham Norton show together, which was also the first time they’d appear officially as a couple at a work/outing kind of a setting since the rumours started floating, and a picture of Harry kissing Y/N outside of a hotel room had sort of confirmed that.        “So, you two.” Graham pointed between Y/N and Harry with his cards. “Have started to date? Not to say anything Harry, but Y/N… I didn’t think boy-bands were your type.”        That made her lean over in laughter as Harry gave everyone a shocked face, before slumping back and pouting, nudging Y/N with his knee. “That’s not funny.”        “I mean it kind of is.”        “She was twelve when she swore off boy-bands.” Graham nodded, taking a sip of his wine. “Isn’t that what you said last time you were here?”        “Hey, it’s been ten years since I said that!” Y/N laughed. “Cut me some slack. All the people I was crushing on are married anyway… with kids… and could probably be my dads… I have issues, don’t I?”        Everyone exploded into giggles while Harry shook his head, chuckling.        “Love you with all of your issues.” He nudged her shoulder, and she nudged right back, taking a sip of her drink.        “Yeah, give it a couple of months. You’ll regret your words.”        The thing was Y/N was so wrong, and she’d never been happier to be so wrong. Each morning they were together, Harry woke up to her showering him with kisses or vice versa. As private as Harry was, his Instagram stories were now filled with pictures and small videos of them, of Y/N’s face half-covered by a blanket, glasses crooked as she smushed her cheek to his chest and watched a movie, or her eating breakfast while re-watching old Bones and Castle episodes with captions like ‘dunno how she keeps the food down’ and ‘she swears it’s just for research’, while her feed was full of candid Harry photos or her rummaging through his closet and showing everyone his immaculate style, and giving tips how others can recreate it (also she may or may not just use that as a reason to steal his clothes).        Generally, people loved it, and their love for one another. It was refreshing to see them enjoy each other’s company, and not be afraid to do so, especially now, given how it was a couple of days before Y/N ended her tour in New York in Madison Square Garden, to which Harry had specifically flown out for despite being in the middle of filming for ‘The Little Mermaid’. Three AM blinked on the clock, as the two finally drifted off to sleep after five hours of a passionate reunion when her phone dinged, indicating a message had arrived.        “Turn it off,” Harry grumbled into the skin of Y/N’s back. “’S too early.”        She hummed in agreement, furrowing her brows as her palm blindly searched for the offending device, and she squinted her eyes as the light burned her retinas before widening in shock at the message.        Harry felt her body go rigid, and he pressed a kiss to her neck. “Everythin’ alright, lovie?”        “Uh – “ she stuttered, trying to process the words on the screen. “Uh, yeah. Yes, everything’s fine. Just… some last-minute changes for the show. They want something really big for the ending, and some of the propositions are just…”        She could feel a smile stretch across Harry’s mouth. “Extravagant?”        “You could say that, yeah.”        “Sounds like it’s gonna be one hell of a show. Not that the others weren’t.”        Y/N switched the phone off wiping away the message first and then turned to cuddle into Harry’s chest. “It most certainly will.”        For the next two days, she was an anxious ball of mess, as her crew got everything ready, and her and her band rehearsed relentlessly before she asked all of them to gather at the studio to add a song to the setlist.        “It’s gonna be a couple more hours, Hazza,” Y/N murmured into the phone as Harry had called in to check on her. “ ‘M sorry. You don’t have to wait up for me. I know you’re still adjusting to New York time.”        “ ‘S alright,” he slurred, clearly already falling asleep but determined not to. “Can’t sleep without you anyway.”        At those words, Y/N’s heart did that stupid flipping thing it’d been doing ever since Harry entered her life to stay, and a shy grin blossomed on her lips. “You’re exhausted, sweetheart. But I’ll tell you what - if you do go to bed, I’ll be sure to wake you up with a kiss when I get back.”        “You promise?” She could hear the smile on his face.        “Swear it.”        “Alright, lovie. I’ll be waiting to cash in on that kiss.”        “I’ll run to give it to you as soon as I can. G’night.”        “See ya’ in a bit.”        Y/N let out a shudder as she heard the call disconnect. She entered back inside the studio and clapped her hands, drawing the attention of her producers and band members. “Where were we?”

***

       The hour before a show was always nerve-wracking for Y/N. It’s when the adrenaline truly started to rush, when her feet and palms got all tingly, and her ears and cheeks heated up. It was when their warm-up band exploded on stage, and the crowd got pumped up. But the best moment that night by far was right when she was about to run out, Harry had pulled her back by the wrist and kissed the living daylights out of her.        “You’re gonna kill it tonight,” he muttered against her lips, words skimming her mouth and making her smile as bright as the sun. She seemed to do that a lot around him. It’s why he now dedicated Golden to her every time he sang it.        “Thank you. For being here.”        Harry flicked her nose. “Always. Now go. People are waiting.”        When Y/N finally appeared on stage, pretty much glowing as brightly as the stage lights, her fans went wild, and even more so when she jumped, starting off the show. The whole time, her gaze flitted to backstage just to get a glimpse of Harry, and whenever she did, she saw him dancing, singing along, filming her having fun and some clips of himself as well, going absolutely ham to her songs.        As the night was moving towards the end, usually, she’d feel euphoria from giving a great performance, after hearing thousands of people sing her songs in unison, now Y/N felt closer to throwing up and fainting.        “So uh…” She pushed back strands of sweaty hair, hollers of people echoing in her head. “This is a very special show tonight. Umm… this is the first concert my boyfriend’s come t - .” She didn’t even get to finish the sentence before the cheers of the people interrupted her, deafening the girl even with the earplugs.        “But umm… it’s also a special show because two days ago someone reached out to me, and uh… he… well, he was as important of a person once the same way Harry is right now, and he wrote this.”        Y/N went over to where the piano chair was, lifted it and fished out her phone from it, revealing the message that’d been basically haunting her nights and days since receiving it.        “Breaking up with you was the biggest mistake I ever made.” To her own surprise, her voice was steady and sure, unlike her hands which were trembling like leaves in a storm. “I know you look happy and in love, but I know it’s not true. I’ve known you for five years, I know how to see through the mask you put on every day just to make sure others are happy while you yourself suffer an inauthentic life. But you do deserve to be happy. And I’ll be waiting for you if you decide to give us a chance again. I’ll be at your concert in Madison Square.” She looked out into the crowd. “You wrote a song once for me. If you sing it, that’s how I’ll know you feel the same.”        By the time she got to the end, there were no more shouts or screams, but confused murmurs. Y/N let out a shuddering breath, hoping that she could manage to do what she wanted, and everything didn’t fall apart. “The thing is, I’d like for Harry to come on stage, please.”        She could see the fear in his eyes as he jogged to stand next to her, but he disguised it with an overenthusiastic smile as he waved over towards the raging sea of people. He’d seen the message, had seen her reread it more than fifty times by that point, and as sure as he was in their relationship, when someone who held such importance, no matter if good or not, in someone’s life came knocking again, you could never be too sure what would happen. Harry didn’t want to say anything, believing if it was important enough, she’d tell him. Guess that was it.        “So, uh…” Y/N pulled Harry’s arms over her shoulders and grasped onto them, grounding them both. “This is for you.” Y/N looked over into the crowd before glancing over her shoulder, Y/E/C eyes meeting Harry’s wavering green ones. “And you,” she whispered so that only he could hear. “Hope you know I mean everything.”        As the cords started playing, she felt Harry unwarp his arms from where she’d been holding them over her shoulders and a smile erupted on her face.        “I wake up every evening,” Y/N sang, “with a big smile on my face, and it never feels out of place.”        “And you’re still probably workin’,” Harry’s voice joined in, grin as wide as the Cheshire cat’s, as he now had a microphone in hand, the other placing earplugs in his own ears, “at a nine-to-five pace… I wonder how bad that tastes.”        “When you see my face hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell,” the two harmonized, Y/N’s eyes locked onto the masses, imagining the face of her ex-boyfriend who had the audacity to send that message.        “When you walk my way, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell.” Harry was looking at the crowd as well, now fully understanding the message and the person behind it, and although he lived by ‘treat people with kindness’, he couldn’t help but gloat at the fact he got to sing with the love of his life on stage, and basically serenade a break-up song to a person who didn’t know how to appreciate what he’d had.        Y/N cocked her head to the side. “Now, where’s your picket fence, love, and where’s that shiny car? It didn’t ever get you far. You’ve never seemed so tense, love. I’ve never seen you fall so hard. Do you know where you are?” It was hard not to smile, knowing where she was and who she was with. Harry threw an arm over Y/N’s shoulders as she sang, giving a mock sad look, while Harry pouted. “And truth be told, I miss you… And truth be told, I’m lying!”        “When you see my face hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell! When you walk my way, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell! When you find a gal that’s worth a damn and treats you well.” Y/N pointed towards where she imagined her ex was standing. “Then she’s the fool, you’re just as well, hope it gives you hell! Hope it gives you hell!” For a split second, the music slowed down, guitar strumming in the air, as Harry pulled Y/N by the palm and towards his chest.        When the next lyrics came out of his mouth, he knew them to be true as he sang them to the man, he’d heard Y/N talk about, to the man who thought everything he’d done to her, every horrible word and deed was justified, to the man who thought breaking someone else down was the only way to bring themselves up. “Now tomorrow you’ll be thinking to yourself, where did it all go wrong, but the list goes on and on.”        “And truth be told, she misses you,” Harry hummed, Y/N letting out a large laugh, holding onto his bicep, as he slightly changed the lyrics. “And truth be told, she’s lying! When you see her face, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell! When you walk her way, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell!  When you find a gal that’s worth a damn and treats you well.” Harry sighed, shrugging his shoulders. “Then she’s the fool you’re just as well hope it gives you hell.”        “Now you’ll never see,” Y/N took over the song. “What you’ve done to me.” She placed a hand over her heart. “You can take back your memories, they’re no good to me. And here’s all your lies, you can look me in the eyes, with that sad, sad look that you wear so well.” She dragged her finger down her cheek, giving a pout while Harry mimicked her stance before turning the mic to the audience.        “When you see my face, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell,” the crowd sang back with such vigour, Y/N was sure the whole ground was shaking just from their voices, and the clapping and stomping to the drum rhythm would bring the whole world down. “When you walk my way, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell! When you find a gal that’s worth a damn and treats you well, then she’s the fool you’re just as well, hope it gives you hell!”        The two were jumping around the stage like madmen, adrenaline filling their veins. “When you see my face hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell!” “Hope it gives you hell!” Everyone else repeated.        “When you walk my way, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell!” “Hope it gives you hell!”        “When you sing this song and sing along, well you’ll never tell. Then you’re the fool, I’m just as well, hope it gives you hell!” Y/N grinned once more, placing her hand over her heart, meaning every word – she was just as well. She had amazing friends, a career that’d flourished, and a person who loved her more than words could describe.        “When you hear this song, I hope that it will give you hell!” Harry crooned down the mic, knowing their happiness would, Y/N’s happiness would give him hell. And he enjoyed it, knowing how good her life was.        “You can sing along I hope that it puts you through hell!” Her voice became the only sound as the last word echoed around everyone, her chest heaving up and down from the exertion, from all of the emotions running through her body as well as the overwhelming feeling of not only having Harry watch her perform but to end up performing with him.        When his hands wrapped around her body, it startled her out from the daze, and the popping confetti startled her even more, as the rest of her band joined the two to take their bows, grins on all of their faces while they did so.        “Not the song you thought I’d sing, is it?” Y/N laughed into the mic, Harry’s arms tightening around her waist. “There’s a reason I blocked your number, let alone you from my life. Don’t think I won’t do it again.”        “But I would like to say thank you, to the asshole in question,” Harry said, making Y/N’s forehead scrunched up. “You let go of the best person ever; you had the honour of calling yourself her boyfriend, but instead, you chose to walk away. So, thank you for that. Because now I’ll have that honour and pleasure for the rest of our lives.”        Yeah. It was one hell of a show.

Tags (crossed out wouldn’t take):

Everything tags: @lumelgy @palaiasaurus64 @supernaturalbaesduh @breezy1415 @crazy--me @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @sea040561 @staryeyedgirl @deathbyarabbit @s-c-a-r-e-d-po-t-t-e-r @reblogger-not-a-blogger @m-a-t-91 @dalilx @i-need-a-hero-i-need-a-loki @maladaptive-ninja-returns @averyrogers83 @in-the-end-im-still-trash @gallifreyansass @dewy-biitch @avxgers @unlikelygalaxygiver @magicwithaknife​ @ollyoxenfrees​ @bnhvrdy​ @tvwhoresblog​ @celebsimagines @thatkindofgurl​ @sj-thefan​ @teenwolflover28 @lestersglitterglue​ @im-squished​

Harry Styles tags: @sarcasticallywitty15​ @breezykpop​ @girlboss99​ @harrystylesdoesntknowiexist​ @alliyjane​ @sirtommyholland​

A/N: I love ‘All American Rejects’ and have been listening to ‘Gives You Hell’ non stop. It’s the best break-up song ever, and you won’t convince me otherwise. 

P.S. my tags are always open :)

P.S.S. please don’t repost my work on other platforms without my explicit written permission. reblogs are fine :)

[quietrainfan]

Hey! Anyone want some heavy platonic Loceit angsty headcanons I've extracted from the new episode? Well, too bad because it's happening regardless. :)

Yes, also some Unsympathetic Patton. You know what blog you're on. (This interpretation/headcanon shall not die. Not here.)

(Also, this is going to combine my observations and thoughts as well, so sorry in advance if this post turns out as a bit of a mess.)

Alright, so! Orange Side confirmation. How we feelin', Sanders Sides fandom, how we feelin'?

Honestly, the Orange Side theory wasn't something I was really all that into. It was a 'meh, could be cool' headcanon for me personally. But I have to say the way the reveal was handled made me jump in my seat with pure joy. No joke, I audibly gasped when Logan's eyes flashed orange.

It was all downhill from there, I was excited. Anyone who knows me will tell you I'm a sucker for character's eyes glowing when they've reached their limit or are displaying a power they've never shown before, combine that with an unexpected reveal and I'm sold.

Plus, glowing eyes have been a common theme with Unsympathetic content and Dark Side headcanons so you could imagine how the first peak into the Orange Side's existence (or, rather confirmation. we all saw the 'hello' hint, Orange, you cheeky little munchkin.) was his color in Logan's eyes made me feel. It was so cool!!! Ah!

Then Thomas had to tease us again at the end card with our boy Orange's eyes popping up in the darkness, waiting for his chance to be too loud to ignore. Like, the audacity. Who do you think you are, Thomas?! (That was a joke. Sorry, I'm just really pumped.)

Also, Remus got quite a few laughs out of me. Ah, I missed him.

Okay, headcanon time! We're going to do Logan first, then Janus, then combine the two. Sound good? Alright, here we go (Trigger Warning for discussions of alcoholism, please if anything I write here sounds insensitive or inaccurate, let me know and I will edit. Also, no need to read if you don't want to. Stay safe.) :

Logan

Logan knew where to grab for that alcohol bottle.

I mean, I guess that makes sense since he lives there and is naturally the most observant Side. But...that bottle's placement was a little too convenient.

Sure it was played up as a joke and it was funny.

But something about the way Logan threw his coffee into the sink and quickly replaced it with the wine stuck out to me.

I've joked about Logan and/or Janus having to "drink to cope" due to sharing the single brain cell Thomas has amongst all the chaos. But seeing that in an actual episode, even as a gag, is kind of...different.

Let me explain.

This may be a common thing for Logan that he struggles with.

He wakes up early to be the first one to help Thomas start the day, naturally. Logan goes to make his cup of coffee and there's always the lingering urge to take a sip of wine before anyone can see because he just...can't face everyone without needing just a little bit of it to cloud out all the gross, petty, negative feelings he experiences every day around them.

He's logic. He can't be drinking and risk any more harm to Thomas's function.

So, it's a constant battle with coffee vs wine, coffee vs wine, coffee vs wine-

Most of the time Logan is able to resist and go with the coffee.

It doesn't make him feel good in the slightest. If anything it makes him feel even worse knowing he'll be more alert that day.

Logan hates that was even a thought at all. He needs to be alert. Otherwise everything will fall apart. He is the rock in the system and without him everything will crumble.

Such a selfish mindset. He needed to focus.

Other days Logan just doesn't have it in him to discard the wine regardless of how much he wants to.

He knows what the day holds for him. It was all so repetitive at this point. Logan knew when he wasn't able to get through it despite it all.

That didn't stop him from shaming himself for caving. He should be able to handle this. He's made so much progress with resisting it up to this point but today he through it away again because he just had to, right?

Sometimes Logan finds himself "cheating" by hiding a couple drops of wine into his coffee on days when he chose the coffee but later felt particularly bad about...a lot of things, into his second cup.

Logan more often times chooses neither. The temptation for clouding out the others was just too strong and was a waste of time.

Logan is beyond tired of the others.

Every single action they have agitates him now. No matter how minor it is.

Roman's loud voice and constant references makes Logan's toes unconsciously curl beneath his shoes. Even a silent warm smile and wave from the prince fills Logan with an unpleasant tingle in his knuckles.

Virgil's neverending foreboding and unnecessary nasty remarks that he doesn't even bother to filter provokes Logan's new habit of biting his tongue. Any kindness he ever gives him makes his stomach twist.

Patton's nicknames, poking for for a laugh, his "sweet" way of shoving away any objection he may have, how casually he behaves as if he isn't part of any problems- how quickly he's prepared to "bounce back". Logan feels like every word, action from him something steps on a guitar cord in the back of his mind that makes the ugliest, loud, screeching sound. He feels this strange warm fuzzy ache he can't define. All he hears is that cord playing faster and faster the longer he stays in their presence. Logan no longer trusts himself alone with Patton.

Logan thinks if he just separates from the others long enough, the ugly strumming noise will go away.

But he's so wrong.

Logan can hear it even when he's all alone. When it's finally silent, he still can't get rid of it.

It's loudest when Logan is alone in his room. Logan has lost count of how many nights he's spent clenching his head, quietly sobbing, and praying for it to just go away already.

Logan often feels like he's losing it.

On nights where the sounds are particularly louder than usual, he swears he can see orange shadows creeping around him, lights of the color flashing on and off, he sometimes even sees it seeping in and out of the cracks of his door like a thick fog. At times he'll even wake to it glowing absurdly bright through his window.

It's just the sunrise. Logan tells himself. He has to believe that. Everything else looked normal, after all.

What's worse is Logan doesn't know how long he's been hearing this sound or seeing the strange lights.

Patton knows about Logan's late night and early morning struggles.

But surprise, surprise, he pretends as if he's nonthewiser.

If either Virgil or Roman asks about Logan, Patton will answer: "Oh, that silly billy's probably got his head in one of his astronomy books again! I wouldn't bother him right now."

Knowing full well he's having an emotional breakdown in his room that gets worse every day.

Knowing about the little sneaks of alcohol in his hot morning beverage. Might even speak about yummy drink combinations when they hang out in the living room, while Logan is present, specifically and even only on the days Patton knows he's cheating with his bad habit, while he's still drinking it.

The further Logan is to the edge, the better. Patton is still bitter about the events of Redux ending in his favor, after all. He needs leverage from somewhere.

When Thomas left to see Nico, Logan heard the cord again. His chest tightened and though he could feel the tears welling up, he kept them down.

Thomas hasn't been very happy lately. He had to let him have this.

No matter how loud those cords get.

Janus

I noticed that Janus was either unseen by the others or unacknowledged by them.

Janus was near all of them but far enough that he was separated.

He could've just popped up at the end without them noticing but...that's less angsty therefore less fun so-

Janus has been the instigator for bringing Sides that have been hidden away to be brought to light for a long time. If the assumption that Janus let Remus out is true.

He's always been hinting at upcoming events that are sure to come if Thomas continues to ignore certain aspects of himself.

He knows. He knows our Orange boy is getting worse and soon will be too loud to ignore. Janus wants to protect Thomas but that's becoming harder every day. Thomas is making it harder.

Janus will reveal the Orange Side eventually. And very soon. Hell, that's looking like less and less of a choice considering Logan's...outburst.

I think Janus has this painful awareness that he can be seriously hated for doing his job. After all, he's always the one who's forced them to acknowledge uncomfortable truths about Thomas.

He's the one giving them all of those hard pills to swallow and especially after Remus, it is definitely overwhelming and exhausting to be met with.

They question their roles more and more because of how used they are to the fixed mindset Thomas has had for such a long time.

That can't feel good.

Janus knows that his job may cause more hatred to fester the more that's revealed.

Janus is being kept at arms length and he knows that won't stop any time soon.

But he's a clever snake. That won't keep him from keeping an eye on Patton.

(Find it real suspicious that Patton was all mushy with Janus in that end card but still is at a big distance from him.)

Loceit

Janus will sometimes find Logan in the common room with his head in his arms, sprawled out against the coffee table. His glasses being discarded from half his face, unmistakable tears lazily dripping out of his lifeless eyes.

Janus would wordlessly go to the sink and grab a glass, filling it with water.

Janus goes over to Logan, giving him a gentle rub on the back. He urges him to sit up. It takes Logan a few minutes but eventually does.

Janus hands Logan the water, supporting the back of his neck as struggles to get it down, reminding him to take his time.

Janus takes his glasses and gently sets them on the table. He hands Logan some tissues.

Logan lifelessly takes them and tries to clean his face. But he always ends up crying into them.

Janus moves Logan unkempt bangs from his face before moving his head to his shoulder. Janus manifests a warm blanket over Logan and uses a bit of his abilities to soothe the shorter man's pain, tenderly putting pressure on his neck.

Janus and Logan have a talk. Logan always asks why he bothers to stop and comfort him.

"You've helped me through a lot, Logan. Not returning the favor is out of the question."

That was always his answer.

Janus and Logan do this often.

Janus opens up about sometimes needing a bit of a drink himself from time to time. Though mostly that consists of tea more often than not, he sometimes has a glass of wine or two to relax on days when it's particularly hard.

He feels ashamed of it. Janus has to be the strongest out of everyone, especially the Dark Sides. Allowing things to faze him was the worst case scenario. At least, to that degree.

But Janus understands that isn't his fault and urges Logan not to blame himself, either. While he hated that weakness he occasionally submitted to, he wasn't going to let the rare slip up to define the worth of his role.

Logan thinks that Janus really is the strongest out of all of them just for saying things like that and he's being too hard on himself.

On nights when things become too much Janus will sit with Logan and share a drink. They try to have as many conversations without wine as possible but sometimes Janus says "screw it" and sits with Logan with one or two drinks.

Just having Janus there helps Logan choose his coffee in the mornings and feel as if he's being heard even a little bit.

Now if only those cords could actually quiet down, that'd be even better.

[yikesharringrove]

oh god okay feel free to ignore this if you want, idk? but um ive been really struggling with eating lately (like i just kinda panicked about the thought of eating?) and you're really good at writing all this kind of stuff so maybe billy struggling with eating after starcourt (for medical and mental reasons) and steve helping but still bring gentle and encouraging (totally okay if this is a sensitive for you or if you don't want to write it 💕)

This is pretty heavy.

Under the cut for medical stuff, disordered eating, talks of throw up (nothing graphic), me projecting.

The first bit under the cut is my medical story, so skip that if you would like.

Read on Ao3

-

So, oof. A little background. I spent three years misdiagnosed when I was young. I was so sick and in so much pain (one of my organs had literally died) that I couldn’t eat. If I did, I was in such severe pain I would throw up. I was 5 feet tall and weighed 62 pounds. If I had lost 2 pounds, I would’ve had an intestinal feeding tube. The doctors thought I just had an eating disorder from doing ballet. They would look at my chart, see another chronic illness I have, and blame my pain on that. They found what was wrong BY ACCIDENT and fixed it within a few hours in one (1) surgery.

So this is based largely on that.

-

He pushed the mashed potatoes around the plate.

“I thought hospital food was supposed to be like, bad. This is pretty alright.” Steve had wolfed down the plate he had gotten himself, not paying much attention to how the plate he had brought Billy was still full.

“Yeah. It’s okay.” He had taken one bite.

He felt fucking sick.

The thought of food, of something in his sore stomach, made him want to hurl.

“You’re not eating?” Steve’s eyebrows were scrunched up, concerned.

“Don’t feel too good.”

“Would something sound better? I could get you whatever you wanted.”

“Um, just like a ginger ale or something. Then I’ll try eating again.” That was his go-to. Ginger ale or Sprite, the carbonation helped his stomach enough that he could force some food down for a while.

Steve got him a few cans from the vending machine.

He ended up taking three bites of potato.

-

Steve made dinner when he finally got to come home.

They had decided he would move in with Steve, “live” in the bedroom across the hall, but they both knew he would be spending the most time in Steve’s room.

He had just made buttered noddles, nothing that would be hard on Billy’s weak stomach, but he had made the noodles from scratch.

And Billy was just staring at them.

“You feeling okay?”

“Just, uh, you know. Stomach’s kinda off.” Steve got him a can of ginger ale from the fridge, slid it to him with a bright smile.

The gesture was sweet, but Billy just didn’t want to risk it.

Every night he spent heaving into the toilet, it made his muscles seize and hurt. It made his throat burn for hours, made him feel like he was wasting away to nothing.

-

He always used the same hole on his belts.

He knew it was the right one from the way the leather was stretched a bit, the buckle leaving indents on it.

But that was too big now.

Did nothing to hold up his pants.

His pants that used to fit.

He tightened his belt.

Two notches. He was two notches thinner.

-

Billy could hear the blender when he woke up.

He was curious as to what Steve was doing, what the fuck he was blending up.

He came downstairs, found Steve with grocery bags all around the kitchen.

“Hey! I’ve been doing some research.” He poured the thick smoothie into a blender. “I think this might be easier for you to eat and keep down. There’s protein powder and some ginger, that should help keep your stomach calm, and spinach and some fruit and stuff.” Steve was fidgeting with his hands.

“Thank you.” Billy sat down with it.

Steve let him take his time, let him drink it in tiny sips.

He was about halfway through when he threw it all up.

-

Billy hadn’t eaten in two days.

But he also hadn’t thrown up in just as long.

Steve poked a plate of plain toast towards him.

Billy stared at it.

Steve sighed.

“Will you just, take one bite? For me?”

He took the smallest bite he possibly could.

Steve let him wait ten minutes before he pushed the toast back towards him.

They continued that until Billy finished the toast, waiting a while between each bite in order to make sure it wasn’t on it’s way back up.

He kept it down almost the whole night, until the pain in his stomach flared again and he was heaving into the large mixing bowl Steve kept next to the bed.

-

Billy was laying on the bed, curled into himself, clutching his stomach.

Steve had been behind him almost all day, rubbing his back, talking in a low soothing voice.

He left when there was a pounding on the door. He left the door open, Billy could hear Max’s voice.

“Jesus, Max. You’re a mess.”

“It’s, it’s raining. And I fell.”

“Why were you skateboarding in the rain?”

“I um, I remembered, whenever Billy felt sick, he liked eating lime popcicles, and I went to Melvald’s, and I got some.”

She sounded hysterical.

“Alright, thank you, Max. Thank you. Let’s get you cleaned up.” He heard them coming up the stairs, going into the bathroom on the landing he kept the first aid kit in.

They were in there for a while before Steve came in, talking in that soft voice he always uses.

“Billy, Max is here.”

It felt like a feat for him to roll over.

Her knees were bandaged up, and her face was splotchy.

“Hey, Shitbird.”

“You look like shit.” He huffed a laugh.”

“Feel like it, too.” Her lip trembled. He didn’t want that. “Hey, thanks for the popcicles. Can I get one? Lime, right?”

“Yeah. Lime.” Steve helped him sit up, gave him one of the popcicles.

It tasted good, and the cold was nice on his throat.

And he even kept the whole thing down.

-

Steve was standing next to Billy as they waited for the doctor.

He had lost nearly thirty pounds since he’d been home. His muscle was nearly entirely gone.

“Steve, just, play it cool.”

“I will not.” He had his pissed off mom face on, and Billy knew he had no qualms about yelling at a doctor.

“Steve, this is just, my life now.”

“No. I refuse to accept that.”

“You yell at Owens every time we’ve come in for the past four months, Steve.”

“And I’m gonna keep yelling until shit gets fixed.”

There was a rap on the door before Dr. Owens let himself in.

“You need to help him.” Billy huffed as Steve started in immediately.

“Um, good morning to you both.” Dr. Owens looked between the two of them.

“Billy can’t eat without throwing up. Look at him. He’s fucking wasting away.”

“Steve-”

“No. I can’t take it anymore. There is something fucking wrong. It is your job to fix it.”

Owens’ eyes were wide, Steve was on a roll.

“Every day, every day he can’t eat anything. He won’t because he’s in pain, and he’d rather not eat than throw everything up. And you need to help him.”

Owens was quiet.

“Let’s run some tests.”

-

Billy was in imaging within a few minutes. He had an x-ray done of his abdomen, and Owens ordered several blood tests.

They were in another room, Billy was having an ultrasound done of his entire stomach.

The tech was looking at his intestines, finding everything normal.

“Look, you’re already doing all this, can’t you just kinda, poke around?”

“I’m not sure-”

“Just kinda,” Steve made a vague wiggling gesture around Billy’s stomach.

She gave him a look.

But she sighed, moving the wand up his body.

“Huh?”

“Wait, what’s huh?”

“Um, excuse me.” She left in a hurry.

“Wait, you think they found something?” Billy’s eyes were side.

“If they did, and I was right, you’re never gonna hear the end of it.” Billy rolled his eyes.

The tech returned with an older woman, pointing at the screen and discussing in low voices.

And then the doctor was leaving again, and the tech was wiping his stomach.

“So, we’re going to prep an operation room. We’re going to have you in there as soon as we can.”

“Wait, what?”

“His gallbladder is infected.” Steve was fucking grinning when he turned back to Billy.

“So, I was right?”

“Steve, read the room. Surgery.”

“Oh, fuck.”

-

Steve was biting his nails.

The chairs in the waiting room were stiff and uncomfortable.

They were given the run down. Billy’s gallbladder had become infected. Probably due to the traumatic situation of his injuries and the many surgeries it took to put him back together.

It was almost completely dead inside his body, causing severe pain and all the vomiting. The doctor had explained that his rapid weight loss had probably only hurt it more.

They said it would take about two hours to remove.

Steve had been staring at the large clock as the two hours clicked by.

It was creeping up on two and a half, and he was getting fucking antsy.

He scrambled to his feet when a nurse called him back.

“You family?”

“Yeah, I’m his brother.” It was easier to lie. He needed to see him.

“He should be waking up very soon. It’s easier if there’s family. His surgery went well, the surgeons were able to remove his gallbladder with no other complications. He may be in pain and delirious when he wakes up, put that will pass, and we can give him more medicine if he needs.” They had stopped in front of a nondescript door.

Steve let himself in, taking the seat closest to Billy’s bed, taking his hand. His eyes were already blinking slowly. He smiled softly when he saw Steve.

“Pretty,” his voice was soft.

“Hey, Baby. I’m right here for you.”

“Thanks for, thanks for fightin’.” Steve smiled back at him, running a hand through his hair.

“Of course, Bill. I’ll always fight for you.”

“Love you.”

“I love you, too.” Billy smiled again. “You feelin’ okay? Need more meds?”

“Nah. Feelin’ good. Feelin’ high.”

“Yeah, they gave you the good drugs.”

“Good drugs.” He laid back in the pillow, his eyelids looking heavy.

“Go to sleep if you’re tired, Bill.”

“Don’t wanna. Wanna see you.”

“I’ll be here when you wake up again.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” Steve kissed his hand.

[zamoimagines]

Wrong Number

Word Count: 2,219

Pairings: Billie Dean Howard x Reader

Chapters: 1, 2

Summary: You’d meant to send a selfie to someone else. Instead, you sent it to your old crush, Billie, whom had been friends with your parents for years. You were mortified and ready to face the embarrassment. To your surprise, Billie sent a picture back. 

A/N: Hey ya’ll! thank you for being patient, I know you guys have been waiting for this one. I had fun writing this chapter. Hope ya’ll like it!

The wind whistled from outside as you paced back and forth in your living room. After the phone call, you had sent Billie your address. She only replied with a wink emoji.

You were steel reeling from the call. This wasn’t a joke or a dream whatsoever. You were about to go on a date with your oldest crush! Your high school self would have screeched at an opportunity like this. Though, you presently were freaking the fuck out.

You continued to walk toward your couch, then back to the front door. Back and forth. You couldn’t stop yourself. This was all so much, not in a bad way, but you couldn’t deny that you were extremely nervous to see her. You hadn’t heard from her in literal years… yet she still remembered you. Obviously she thought about you. This realization nearly made you faint.

Just as she had asked, you were wearing the exact shirt from the photo. It wasn’t one you wore often because it made you feel vulnerable. That alone was making you anxious. To cover up a little, you threw on a nice cardigan and left it open. It made the outfit feel so much cozier, which in return, made you feel much more comfortable. You had made sure to touch up your makeup and fixed your hair. Now it was just a waiting game.

As you continued to pace, the intrusive thoughts in your mind only got louder. What if this was all a mistake? What if she changed her mind and wouldn’t show up? It would be so embarrassing if she bailed on you last minute. This was too much for you to take.

A loud honking sound came from outside of your home. You glanced up at your window. In the driveway, there was Billie’s car. It looked the exact same as the last time you had seen her.

A big smile grew on your face. You hoped to god this would all work out.

Quickly, you fled out the door and locked up. You tried your best to look as calm and collected as you could as you made your way to her car. You opened the passenger door before slipping inside.

Billie was as beautiful as ever. She had changed into something else. Instead of the silk blouse, she was wearing a rather tight fitting cocktail dress that hugged her body perfectly. Her long blonde hair fell in soft yet voluminous curls. You couldn’t recount all of the nights you thought about running your fingers through it. Billie gave you a cheeky grin.

“Have I stunned you?” She said.

You blushed hard. You didn’t realize that you’d been staring at her. Your eyes instantly gazed at the ground as you tried to hide how flustered you were by seeing her again.

“Uh… Not at all, I… I…” you were struggling to find words.

Her hand moved under your chin as she gently lifted your head. Her eyes met your own.

“It’s okay, honey. You can be attracted to me.” she replied with a small chuckle.

You weren’t sure how to react. All you could think about was the thick, hypnotizing scent of her perfume. She hadn’t changed one bit.

“It’s good to see you.” you managed to say.

“It’s very nice to see you, Y/N.” Billie began, “Shall we?”

You nodded as she pulled out of the driveway.

The car ride was rather quiet. Not in an awkward way, there were no bad vibes whatsoever. But there was an extreme tension between the two of you. What were you supposed to say to her?

She glanced over at you while she drove. You could see her grinning to herself.

“I see you’re wearing the shirt.”

“I didn’t want to disappoint you by wearing something else.”

Billie couldn’t keep her eyes off of you even as she was trying to drive.

“I’m glad you didn’t change. It looks much better on you in person.”

You tried hard not to giggle. You felt like a fucking school girl being hit on by a hot older teacher. You had to admit, it was the best feeling in the world right now.

When you arrived at the restaurant, she led you inside. Usually at a nice place like this you would have to make reservations week ahead to even wait for a table. Though, when Billie took you in, they already had a table ready for her. She always had a way with people. Not to mention she was a celebrity now with her new show.

The host sat you two down at a remote table on the terrace of the restaurant. Fairy lights were strewn about overhead that illuminated the small garden that was flourishing with a variety of flowers. A small candle was lit in the middle and a bottle of champagne had already been chilling next to the table. There weren’t any other guests out here; just you and Billie. This was probably the most romantic first date you’d ever been on.

“This place is beautiful…” you began.

“It’s my favorite Italian joint in town. I’m really good friends with the owner, she let me reserve the entire terrace while we’re out here.”

Your lips formed a small smile. She really thought of everything and it showed.

Billie continued to gaze at you. She took in every inch of your body, taking her time to really get a good look at you. The blonde bit her lower lip.

“I must say, you turned into quite a beautiful woman,” she leaned forward slightly, “How is it that you’re still single? I’m surprised that people weren’t falling head over heels for you.”

The smile on your face grew wider. She had such a way with words and all the flirtation was making you feel giddy on the inside.

“I guess I’m just busy. I’m constantly studying or working, I never really have time to pay attention to anyone else.”

“Then I feel extremely honored to be able to take you dinner.” She replied sweetly. The waitress came by just in time and greeted Billie warmly.

“Hey there! Good to see you. We having the usual tonight?”

“You know me too well!” Billie laughed, “You get whatever you want, Y/N.”

You hadn’t even had time to look at the menu because you’d been so fixated on Billie. Feeling a little on the spot, you didn’t even glance down to read any of the entrees.

“I’ll just have whatever she’s having.”

The waitress grinned widely. “Great choice! I’ll have it right out to you.”

Once again, the two of you were alone. Billie poured you a glass of bubbly before pouring one for herself. She held her glass up. Hesitantly, you did the same.

“What shall we toast to, darling?”

Your stomach was in knots. You didn’t want to say something stupid, yet you said the first thing that came to your mind.

“To beautiful women.”

Billie clinked her glass to yours.

“To beautiful women.”

As you sipped on alcohol, Billie sat up straight in her chair.

“It’s been so long since I’ve seen you last. What… Has it really been four years?”

“I believe so. It’s felt like forever.”

Billie nodded in agreement.

“I remember when I would come to your parent’s place for dinner or when I’d come house sit when they were out of town. We always had such a good time with each other, don’t you think?”

It was true, the two of you had some pretty fond memories. There were countless nights you’d stayed up way past your bedtime on a school night to play card games with her. It was hard playing against a psychic, since she could always sense your next move. Though you always knew she would let you win just to be fair. Other times, she would take you out for dinner since she wasn’t the best cook and then would take you to the movie theater afterward. Your favorite nights were the ones where you two would talk about nothing and everything. Billie was the one that taught you how to use a tarot deck. She was also the one that had banished negative energies in your room when you had a nightmare about demons. The memories you’d shared with her were some of the best memories you had.

“It was always a good time when you came over.” You replied happily, “I always looked forward to your visits. When I moved out of my parent’s place, I was worried you wouldn’t want to see me again.”

“Nonsense!” Billie retorted. She took your hand into hers and held onto it tightly. “I’ve missed you so much. How could I ever forget about you?”

“I think it was more of an irrational fear.” The feeling of her skin against your own sent shivers down your spine. There were times that she’d touched you in the past in passing or when she reached out to hug you. Though, this was different. This touch was electrifying.

“I’m really glad you reached out. Even if it was by mistake.”

“I am too.” You said in a warm tone.

After a half hour of catching up, the waitress came back with two plates of pasta.

“Here’s that food for you guys! Two pasta primaveras, made special by our head chef himself.”

“Tell Luca that he’s done a wonderful job once again.”

“Of course, Miss Howard. He hopes you guys enjoy it!”

The waitress rushed back inside the restaurant, leaving you two alone once again. You glanced down at the plate that had been presented to you. Normally, pasta wasn’t something you’d care to indulge in. Yet this dish looked more delicious than any other you’d ever seen.

“I met Luca and his wife, Isabella, a few years back when they were working out of a food truck. Their food was so amazing that I helped them get an actual restaurant of their own. They chose this place… It’s better than I could’ve ever imagined.”

It warmed your heart hearing Billie’s story. That was one of the things you loved about her; how much she cared about others. Her show made her seem uptight, or perhaps even rude. She’d taught you how important it was to be assertive around spirits, though some never understood that. Away from all the cameras, she was a big softie.

“That’s amazing… You’re amazing.” you blurted out. Your cheeks turned a bright shade of red. How could you say something so mushy?

Billie wasn’t phased by it. In fact, you made her blush a little as well.

“Try it. This is my favorite thing to get here.”

After what you’d said, you were okay with not talking for a little bit. So you did as you were told. You picked up your fork, twirled some pasta onto the prongs and lifted it so you could take a bite. A burst of flavors touched your tastebuds. It was nothing like you had ever tasted before.

“Oh my god, that’s good!” you exclaimed.

“Luca has a real talent.” Billie replied as she ate from her own plate.

The rest of the night went smoothly. Even though the two of you took a while to eat, neither one of you seemed to mind. You shared so many laughs and stories with her. This was definitely the best date you’d had in a while.

“I don’t want this night to end.” You sighed. Billie raised her brows as she took another sip of champagne.

“It doesn’t have to.”

You could feel your heart racing in your chest. Even after all this time you’d known Billie, you had never seen her place. Not to mention with the way things were going it had the potential to get very heated very quickly.

You couldn’t find the words to form a coherent response.

“I can see right through you, Y/N. I know you’re nervous and I know you’re wondering about my intentions with you. I’m psychic for crying out loud, you can’t hide anything from me.”

You knew she was right. You still found yourself speechless.

“I know what you think about me. I used to listen to all of the little fantasies that would fly around in your head when I would come visit. It was pretty obvious you had a crush on me, sweetheart.”

You felt even more flushed. Why hadn’t you thought about it before? She probably knew everything you’d ever thought about her. She could probably sense how badly you wanted to kiss her. Your body tensed up at the thought.

As if to confirm your fear, she reached out to touch your face. Her thumb gently brushed your cheek as she stared longingly at you.

“I promise that this is all real. I really like you, Y/N.”

That was all you needed. The words almost found you.

“Okay. Let’s go back to your place.”

Billie looked very pleased with your response. Pulling away, she left a cash payment along with a nice tip for the waitress. The older woman stood from her chair and gestured for you to follow.

“Are you ready?” she asked.

“I am.” You replied as you stood up to go join her, “Thank you again for dinner. It was delicious.”

She wrapped her arm around your waist as she showed you the way out.

“Anything for you, baby girl.”

You could feel a burning sensation in the pit of your stomach. She’d never given you a pet name like that, though you couldn’t deny how much you loved it. Her hand lowered a little to rest on your ass as if you were already hers. You could definitely get used to this.

REQUEST MORE FICS HERE!

[mychemicalimagines]

Imprinting Changes a Man-Paul Lahote-Chapter 3

Summary: Growing up in a small, close-knit tribe in the great state of Washington, the Chief’s daughter, Melissa Black, has her entire world flipped around when she finds out the legends she grew up on were true. What will happen to her, her best friend, and the rest of the guys they grew up with? Will life ever be the same?

Warnings: Cussing, Bella-Bashing, Leah-Bashing, Possible Eventual Smut

Words: 3087

Tag List: @elskinner45, @jayrart, @paullahotes, @laurastrutz, @k-n-e, @oopsiedoopsie23, @vxidnik, @paull-lahottie,

A/N: I hope you guys like this chapter! @you-a-southpaw-doll​ and I worked very hard on it. Hopefully you are all laughing as you read this. We were laughing and crying as we were writing! To be tagged, message one of us or tag yourself in my bio!

Italics are Pack Mind Conversations

Sam’s P.O.V.

“Paul. Where are you?” I say

“In  the big field by the cliff. What….what’s going on? Sam? How can I hear you and Jared in my head?” Paul says, his thoughts clearly riddled with confusion.

“Just stay there, Paul. Jared and I will be there in a second.”

I look at Sam, and jerk my wolf’s head to the left, meaning we need to go that way in order to get to Paul. He whimpers but obeys. A few seconds later, Jared and I are in the field where Paul said he was. I look around and see a giant wolf hanging back against the tree line. I pad over to him, slowly, so as not to scare Paul.

The last thing I want is to spook a new wolf. 

“Paul. It’s me. Relax.” I command, using my alpha voice, which relays over into my thoughts.

I watch as he relaxes a little. He comes out into view a little more. I look at him and his wolf. 

“Both of y’all, follow me. We’re going back to Mel’s house.”

They both obey, mainly because I’m the Alpha, but also because Paul isn’t used to this yet. I phase outta my wolf and Jared, following my actions, does the same. I watch as Paul’s wolf cocks his head to the side, processing what he just saw. I explain to him what to do. Just think back to being human. 

After several minutes, he phases back to his human form and curls up in a ball, whimpering. Phasing...it’s a difficult and extremely painful process. I walk over to him. 

“Don’t worry. It will get easier and less painful as time goes on.” I inform him.

Paul whimper slightly before sitting up. I hand him a pair of shorts Mel started putting outside in a box I made for her. He slowly puts them on and looks up at the house.

“This is Melissa Black’s house. Why are we here?” Paul asks. 

“She’s part of the council. She knows everything. She helped me out when I first phased.” I explain to him.

We walk into the house and see the lunch that Mel prepared for us for when we got home. Jared looks away before sitting down in his usual chair.

“Where is she?” Paul asks, looking around the room.

“Jared...He had an accident before you phased. Mel was caught in the crossfire and got hurt pretty badly. She will be fine but we’re not sure when she will be out of the hospital.” 

Mel’s P.O.V. ~ 2 Weeks Later

I start hearing beeping from the right side of me. I open my eyes but the bright light makes me close them again. I start to smell cleaning products. It jogs my memory of what happened. Jared phased right in front of me. I slowly open my eyes to get used to the bright lights. When my eyes refocus, I look around the room I’m in. 

I’m in the hospital.

I try to turn my head but pain shoots through the right side of my face. I reach over slowly to push the nurse button. Without turning my head, I glance to my shoulder to see a bandage covering my shoulder. My eyes follow the bandage on my shoulder, slowly, to see that it goes onto my chest. I scrunch my eyes but pain shoots through my face. 

What the hell happened to me?

My father and Carlisle rush into the room. Carlisle stops on my right side. My father rolls toward my left.

“Mel! You’re awake!” My dad says, rolling over to the side of the bed.

“He-” I start coughing from my throat being dry.

Carlisle reaches over to my side table and holds a cup of water with a straw in it toward my mouth. I take a few small and slow sips from the straw.

“Thank you.” I say, softly. “What happened?” 

My dad looks away before explaining everything. I have a total of 25 stitches in my face, on my chest and shoulder. 

“We were actually going to remove them today.” Carlisle informs me. “I’ve been asleep for two weeks?” I look up at him. 

Out of all the Cullens, he’s the only one I’m not afraid of. He’s the oldest so I trust him.

“We took you out of the coma last week and we’ve been waiting for you to wake up ever since.” 

“How…” I hesitate. “How bad is it?”

Carlisle and my father look at each other, before Carlisle reaches over and slowly takes off the bandages. My dad reaches and grabs a mirror they had in a drawer of the room. He holds it up to my face and I gasp. There are three long scratches stitched running down my face. It barely misses my eye and goes down to my chin. 

I move my gown slightly to see below my gown.  My chest has three scratches down ends right before the curve of my breast. I turn my head slowly to see three small scratches down my shoulder. I tear up slightly. A thought runs through my head, and my eyes widen.

“Where...Where is Jared?” I look up at my father.

“He’s currently at your house...in the woods. We had another person phase a couple weeks ago. Jared phased back to help him but during his free time, like after school, he’ll phase and just stay in the woods. He feels horrible about what happened so he will barely stay human.”

I sigh and look at Carlisle.

“Can you take the stitches out now?” 

He nods and walks out to get his equipment. I turn back to my dad.

“Call Sam. Get him to bring Jared in. I wanna talk to him.” I say, confidently.

“Are-” I cut my father off.

“Yes, dad. I’m sure. I need to talk to Jared.” 

He nods and leans forward, kissing my cheek before rolling out of the room. Carlisle walks in a few minutes after my dad leaves. He takes the next ten minutes cutting and removing the stitches from my body.

Sam’s P.O.V.

“I’ll bring him over, Billy. Are you sure that Mel wants to see him? Wait. Forget that. We both know she does. She’ll want to convince Jared that it’s not his fault and that she’s not mad at him.” I say into my cell phone.

Billy’s chuckles comes through into my ear. “Yeah. You’re right ‘bout that, Sam. So, go ahead and bring Jared in.” 

“Alright. We’ll be there soon. I’d bring Paul but he’s having a harder time with the phasing. He’s a hothead. He has a hard time with controlling his emotions.”

“Fair ‘nough. I was gonna suggest bringing him too since we both know that Mel’s gonna want to met the new one as soon as she can. But, if he’s not dealing too well with what’s going on, then don’t bring him. We’ll have them meet up later. Probably when Mel gets released from the hospital.”

I nod. “Sounds good to me. Jared and I will see you soon, then. I gotta make sure that Paul will be alright if I leave him alone for a little bit.”

Billy and I spend a few more on the phone, discussing certain things. I can tell he’s not alone since he stays vague and doesn’t directly mention the wolves. Jacob or nurses must be around. After we get everything sorted out, we end the call. I walk outta the house and make sure no one’s around before I phase. I pad into the woods where I know Jared is.

He’s been in the same spot out here unless I use my alpha voice and command him to phase and come inside to eat meals, or he has to go to school. 

“Jared. Mel’s awake. She wants to see you. You’re the first person she’s asked to see since she woke up.” I say. 

His wolf raises his head and cocks to the side, looking at me. 

“C’mon, Jared. You need to believe me. Let’s go see her. She’s not mad at you right now, but if you don’t go see her after she specifically asked for you, she will be. She’ll be hurt, and that’ll be more painful to her than the physical wounds and pain she’s in now.”

“Fine. Let’s go.”

“Good. We need to phase when we get back to the house. Till then, stay a wolf. I didn’t bring spare clothes with me.”

He ducks his head in understanding and follows me as I turn and head back to the house. Once we reach Mel’s back porch, Jared and I both phase back to our human forms. I quickly grab the pair of shorts that I took off before I phased. I run inside the house to grab some clothes for Jared, before looking around for Paul.

Mel’s P.O.V

I lay in my hospital bed, just waiting for the boys to show up. My dad just left with Old Quil to inform the council members that I’m finally awake and inform Jacob as well. I look up when I hear the door open. Sam walks in first before glancing behind himself at Jared. Sam moves out of the way and I finally see Jared. 

I wave slightly, causing Sam to smile but Jared won’t look up.

He looks like he hasn’t had a shower in a few days. He keeps his head down, staring down at the floor. I look at Sam and gestures toward the door. He nods and walks out. He knows not to question me. I sit up slightly before I finally speak.

“Jared.”

He glances up then looks away, licking his lip. 

“I...I’m so sorry.” He whispers.

“Jared. Look at me.” I say.

He hesitates for a few minutes then looks up at me. I can see his eyes well up with tears.

“Now come here.” I wave him over.

He shakes his head.

“Please?” I ask, softly.

After a few minutes, he finally walks over and stands beside my bed.

“I’m fine. I know it looks bad. It hurts but I’m fine.” I say, looking at him.

He hesitates. “But...but...you...I...I scarred you. I hurt you.”

“Jared. It’s okay. I’m alive. I’m breathing. I’m okay.”

“But…I almost killed you. All because I..” He sighs and looks down. “All because I wanted to hang with my friends.”

“Jared...I’m okay. And, I can still whoop your ass when we wrestle. Maybe not right now. But, give me a couple weeks. Then, I’ll go back to put you on the ground.”

I smirk and he finally cracks a small smile.

“As if. I only let you win.” He mumbles.

I laugh a little, being careful since the motion does hurt. “Whatever, wolf boy.”

“It’s wolf man, thank you very much.”

I smirk. “Yeah, uh huh. Ok. Whatever you say.”

He smiles a little more. I smile and slowly raise my hand up to gently squeeze his.

“I’m fine, Jared, okay? I promise. And, besides, think of it this way, this scars will look badass when they heal!”

He chuckles a little and squeezes back softly. “Hell yeah they will be. You’re already badass. Now, you’ll look it.”

Mel’s P.O.V. ~ 2 Weeks Later

Carlisle finally gives me the all clear to go home after two long weeks. Two long weeks of laying in the hospital bed, having my wounds cleaned and redressed, and watching them scab over. Today, they have just a light dressing covering them so that the fabric of my shirt doesn’t stick to the wounds. That could cause an infection, and that wouldn’t be good.

I stand, leaning against the hospital bed, getting my stuff packed up in my bookbag. My dad’s outside the room with Carlisle signing all the necessary paperwork to get me discharged. I glance up at Sam as I shove my last t-shirt in my bag with my good arm.

“This place stinks.” Sam whispers to me.

“Why?” I ask, confused.

I scrunch my eyebrows, sniffing the air. It smells like bleach since they just did the floors today.

“Carlisle.” Is all Sam says.

Oh...With Carlisle being a vampire, Sam can smell him from miles away. I giggle slightly.

“Come on. We’re going back to my house so I can meet this new...member and I can try to help him reign his emotions in to make his phasing easier on him and everyone else.”

Sam chuckles and teases. “Maybe it’s because he didn’t get any of your famous brownies when he first phased.”

I laugh. “If I had known that he was gonna phase, I would have made them earlier.”

Sam laughs. “Maybe you should just make an abundance of them and then save them so they can be on hand when others phases.”

I laugh. “Sam, please! They wouldn’t last for more than two hours. Not with the way you and Jared eat them. I swear, you’d think they were made of crack or something. Y’all scarf ‘em down. No! Y’all just breathe ‘round them and then...POOF! My brownies are gone.” 

I tease him, playfully poking his side. He laughs and gently swats my hand away since I poked his ticklish spot.

“Hush up, Mel. Or else I’ll eat ALLLLL the brownies as soon as they come out the oven.” He smirks.

I laugh. “Surrrreeee. Okay. You might be a wolf and have superhuman healing abilities, but we both know you don’t want third degree burns all down your throat.”

He laughs. “Alright. Alright. Fine. You win-”

I squeal happily, cutting him off. “YES! I WIN! I WIN!”

He laughs and shakes his head. “C’mon. Let’s get you home. I’m suddenly craving brownies.”

I laugh as I put my bag over my shoulder. “Are you sure you’re not pregnant, Sam? You know, with these sudden cravings?” 

“Yes, Mel. I’m pregnant with seven pups. They’re all yours.” He says, sarcastically, before busting out laughing.

I laugh and walk out of the room with him. I wave to Carlisle and walk out to Sam’s truck. Sam chuckles as he opens the passenger truck door. I slide into the middle of the seats, before Sam puts my dad in the seat next to mine. He puts the wheelchair in the back and gets into the driver’s seat.

On the drive home, I tell my dad that Sam’s pregnant, with seven of my pups and that’s why he basically inhales my brownies every time I make them. At first, my dad is so confused, but as soon as he realizes that it’s all a joke, he cracks up laughing and shakes his head.

“I’m too young to be a granddad!” He laughs.

I laugh and Sam chuckles under his breath as he drives.

“Billy, as much as I love you like a dad, we both know it’s impossible for me to get pregnant.” Sam says.

I giggle. “I dunno, Sammy boy. I thought it was impossible for humans to turn into werewolves. Maybe it’s a possibility.”

He laughs and shakes his head. “Stooooopppppp it, Mel! I’m not pregnant. I just really like your brownies.”

“Yet! You’re not pregnant yet!” I tease him.

Sam pulls into my driveway as I say this to him.

“That’s it. I’m ready to get out. I don’t need to know if Sam’s pregnant or not.” My dad laughs.

Sam laughs as he turns the engine off and takes the keys out the ignition. “I agree with Billy.”

“But I wanna talk about my future pups, guys! I need to know if I’m going to be a mother...or in this case...father at such a young age!” I say.

Jared and Jacob walk out and to the truck, both of them utterly confused. Jared just got off patrol and Jacobs been waiting, at my house, for me to come home.

“Wait. What? Mel, you can’t be a father?” Jacob asks.

“Yes I can! Sam’s pregnant with my pups, so I am a father!”

Jared looks even more confused. “I’m not sure I know what I just walked into...and I’m not sure I even want to know....”

“Just know...Sam is having my pups. It’s all because of the brownies!” I smirk at him.

By the time I finish my sentence, my brother is laughing harder than I have seen him laugh in years. It’s good to see him laughing again. Jared’s eyes widen at the word.

“You’re making your brownies?” He asks, excitedly.

I laugh. “Of course. That’s all you heard!”

Jared laughs. “Hey! I love your brownies!”

Sam helps my dad into his wheelchair as I get out of the truck. Jacob walks around quickly and gently pulls me toward him for a hug. I hug him back as tight as I can.

“I’m so glad you’re okay.” Jacob whispers.

“I’m fine Jake. I promise.” I whisper, holding tightly onto his shirt.

Two hours go by before my dad and Jake have to leave. It’s a school night and Jacob still has to do his homework so dad said it was time for them to go. Jacob has been learning to drive so dad let him drive the truck home tonight. I stand on the porch and wave to them with my good arm as they drive away.

Once they’re outta sight, I go to turn around, but gasp and jump as I see a wolf phase back into a human and walk inside the side door. I shake my head and walk back into the kitchen where Sam is trying to explain to Jared about the conversation we were having in the truck about us joking about Sam being pregnant.

I walk into the kitchen, smirking. “Don’t deny it, Sam. Everyone knows now!”

He chuckles. “Mel! I’m not pregnant!”

“Wait? Sam...pregnant? What?” A new voice asks.

I look over to see a tall, black haired boy. I look back at Sam as he says my name.

“Mel, this is Paul. He’s the newly phased wolf. Paul, this is Melissa Black. Billy’s daughter. She knows all about us, of course.” Sam officially introduces.

I nod and turn back to Paul. I put my hand out and look up at him. Our eyes meet, causing his eyes to widen and his mouth to open. Just staring into his eyes, makes me want to never look anywhere else again.

[feverinfeveroutfic]

chapter fifteen: art pop and pop art

By a quarter to eleven, Joey had left Sam's apartment and disappeared into the inky darkness, and Frank still hadn't returned to his room downstairs. The building was silent, and yet the sound of Stormtroopers of Death still rang throughout her ears. In retrospect, their lyrics made her blush to think about. Loud, crude, rude, and over the top, and yet glorious.

Add to this, she was going to get that money, for sure.

Her ankle and her knee continued to ache from her fall, but at least Joey was kind enough to help her spread it across the couch cushions. The last thing he did prior to leaving was place an ice pack on her ankle.

In the mean time, she flipped back to the drawing of the man from her dreams for a good long look at him. There were a few things she knew she could have done a little better, such as the white stripe atop his head. And yet, what was done was done right there in her hands. She gazed into those dark eyes and she wondered if she could see him more in her dreams.

Despite it being late, Sam had no desire to go to bed just yet. What she said to Joey had already gone away from her mouth. The deadline was coming up. She needed to fill out the rest of those pages. She thought of the show from earlier, and the mirrored images right before her.

There needed to be more than what she had already done in the prior pages. There needed to be more as the time was counting down to the due date. With a grimace in pain, she lifted herself from the couch and she ducked back into the bedroom to check the exact day on a little piece of paper on her desk. She thought about that due date, much closer than she originally believed if she wanted to start that fall term, as she returned to the front room for the journal. She let out a low whistle from the pain in her leg, but without wasting another second, she returned the pack onto her injury.

She wondered if she could turn it in early so it could be a weight lifted off of her shoulders. One less thing to worry about. All night long. All night and not a single moment of sleep from the pressure, and also from the pain.

Both combined to drive her.

She set the journal across her lap and she brought the tip of the pencil to the paper. Her view had been mirrored, and she had no reference to help out, but she managed to sketch out Dan with his bass guitar slung over his shoulder from memory: much like Frank, Charlie, and Joey, he had wavy long dark hair down past his shoulders, which he kept obscured over his face. He looked to be playing left handed there on the page, but she needed to draw it out. She needed to use Stormtroopers of Death, her saviors, the men with no restraint on their sense of humor or their own groovy distorted music, as her muses for the night.

Once she had signed the full graphite drawing of Dan, she drew out a sketch for Scott, followed by one of Billy, complete with a microphone in hand. Charlie was drawn from the side so she could work on a bit of perspective for the drum kit: she started work on the cymbals when the first rays of the sun shone through the window on the other side of the room.

“Oh my god,” she muttered as she lifted the page and revealed one more page rested upon the hard cover of the journal. Even though she had pushed out all the rest of the building, she swore she never heard anyone walking through that front door after Joey had left. Frank still hadn't returned home overnight. She shifted her leg every so often to keep things comfortable all night long: but that time, she moved her foot closer to the back of the couch and every inch tingled.

Sam grimaced in pain as she moved her leg closer to her body in hopes to wake up her foot, albeit without causing any more pain to her ankle.

She thought of the boys down in Brooklyn. Joey liked her, and Joey also told her that it could be possible that Frank could develop something with her. It was taking on some sort of triangular form right before her eyes, and yet it might have been a part of her imagination. No one really said anything, and for all she knew it was just based on hearsay all courtesy of Aurora.

She needed one more drawing.

Something. Anything.

There was a myriad of things she hadn't drawn as of yet. Two people in the same picture, let alone two people close together. She kept her leg bent and lay her knee on the cushion, and she rested the journal atop her knee. She drew out their heads first, side by side. Their arms wrapped around each other's bodies. Their thighs pressed against each other. She drew out the upper lip on the left one, followed by the bottom lip. The upper lip on the right one, followed by the bottom lip. Both of them interlocked with each other.

She held back for a better look at the rough drawing, and she realized neither of them had no hair.

No one was telling her anything. All of it based on assumption. Maybe she could pry an answer out of someone somehow if she forced it. Aurora had her work cut out for her and there was no way she could rightfully ask either Joey or Frank without being blunt.

She closed her tired eyes and sighed through her nose. She thought about Joey's black curls as she put down dark spirals on the figure on the right: within time, she put down some soft waves on the figure on the left. She soon followed it all up with a bit of shading around her breasts to ensure they resembled to breasts. She thought about Joey's chest and if it resembled to anything she was shading in at the moment.

It was just something to make her giggle, to play around with Aurora should she ever see it for herself. But then again, it was just a journal to be handed into a small group of people who were to decide her fate for her and her position in art school. Not for Aurora's eyes, or the eyes of anyone else.

And with that, she signed the bottom of the drawing and leaned back into the couch. She let out a low whistle as she knew she would have to make a trip downtown anyway to check on Frank and Charlie.

Sam limped into the kitchen, and she put on a quick pot of coffee. All the while, Emile's voice floated up from downstairs, right through the heater vent in the far corner of the room. He sounded angry about something; his voice was then followed up by that of a woman. Bickering with one of the tenants about something.

She sipped her coffee and within time, she hobbled down the block to the subway station for that long trip back to down to Brooklyn. She hoped to hitch a ride with Aurora again up to the school as she held onto her journal on her lap and kept her purse close to her body. Even though the ice on her ankle helped a great deal, there was no way she could stand up the whole ride down there. Indeed, sitting there had its discomfort: she couldn't stretch out her legs and every time she did, someone always ran into her feet.

Lucky for her, she reached the heart of Brooklyn before she could ache any more and yet she had no idea where L'Amour was right off base. She peered up at the clear blue sky overhead, at the skyscrapers that lined the crowded streets before her. She squinted against the bright sun and she took her sunglasses out of her purse with one hand.

The woman donned in all black set against a bright colored street.

She thought about what she and Joey had gone through the night before with all the signs along the road. Just follow the signs. They know more than those on the road. Sam took a glimpse across the street and she recognized those pale bricks and those bright lights on the side, now darkened with the daylight. Something donned in total darkness set against a bright colored street.

Despite the pain in her leg, she crossed the street with the journal still pressed to the side of her body. She recognized that helmet of orange near the edge of the building.

“Marla!” she called out, to which Marla turned around for a look over at her. She squinted her eyes and brought a hand over her brow to protect from the bright mid morning sun.

“Hey!” she greeted Sam, who hurried up towards her, still with the journal pressed to her body. Marla dropped her gaze to her stiff arm and frowned at the sight. “What you got there?”

“My sketchbook,” Sam replied, somewhat out of breath. “You know, the thing I have to turn into the school at some point so I can start up.”

“Oh, yeah! I was just going to ask you about that, but you went home with Joey.” She peered behind Sam, still with a frown plastered on her face. “Where is Joey?”

“He went home after he dropped me off.” It was the truth: Joey did return home after he helped her into the apartment.

“By the way, how's your leg doing? Lars told me you took a big fall next to the stage and it was hurting like hell last night.”

“It's—It's better than it was,” she confessed as she shuffled her foot over the surface of the sidewalk. “Still hurts, and I'm limping, too. At least I can walk around, though—last night, I couldn't hardly take two steps without feeling like I was about to fall over again.”

Charlie emerged from behind the edge of the building with his hair disheveled and a pair of sunglasses over his face.

“Who you talking to, babe—oh, hey, Sam!” He showed her a sickly little smile.

“Were you guys here all night?” she asked him as he stretched his arms up over his head.

“Yeah, everyone was like, 'stay the night!' and Marla and I were like, 'okay?' so we slept in the back room. We were just about to get some breakfast.”

“Well, I hate to do this to you guys, but—I have to turn this in.” Sam held up the journal and Charlie gasped.

“Oh, shit! Already?” He was stunned.

“Well, the sooner, the better.”

“Oh, right, right, right. Well, yeah—let's fetch Frankie and mosey on up to the school—” He leaned back a bit and turned his head. “Hey, Frankie! Let's get sump'n to eat!”

“I had a feeling Frankie was here still,” Sam confessed as she shifted her weight: her ankle started to ache again.

“Yeah, Frankie passed out last night,” said Marla with a chuckle. Frank emerged from behind Charlie with his hair glistening under the sun.

“Did you shower just now?” Sam asked him with a laugh.

“I ran my head under one of the kitchen sinks in there,” he cracked, “yeah, I showered in there. We're all a little bit hungover still from last night. Including me.”

Marla put her arm around Sam to help her out to the car, even though she promised her she could walk just fine on her own.

“We're going to make a little stop up by the school, too,” Charlie told Frank once they were in the car. “Sam I am's gotta show the people there her journal.”

“Oh, hell yeah!” Frank's voice filled out the front of the car. He then turned around and showed her a big beaming smile. “You're gonna places, I just know it!”

They started on the drive up to Manhattan and all the while Frank couldn't help but drum on the ceiling right over his head and on the dashboard.

“Man, and you thought I was obnoxious with that,” Charlie scoffed as they took the main artery up to Manhattan.

“Oh, come on, my best friend is gonna get into art school!” Frank exclaimed. “I gotta celebrate, Char.”

Sam gazed out the window, at all the buildings that surrounded the block. The whole thing felt like a dream, like none of it was actually happening. The sun was big and bright against the pure blue sky, which was more blue than she ever imagined. The lights were brighter than ever before and the warm spring air that flowed through the car windows never smelled sweeter, despite it being the heart of the City.

Within time, they reached the small shady parking lot outside of the school. Charlie pulled up to the curb before the glass front doors and Sam almost swan dove out of the back seat, still with the journal in hand. Charlie burst out laughing and then he turned to Frank and Marla.

“You guys wanna take a walk?” he offered them as Sam gathered herself and adjusted her purse strap. Bad idea to do that: her leg ached even more as a result of it. She stood upright and Frank and Charlie came up to her.

“Good luck, girly cue,” Frank said in a big bold voice, and he threw his arms around her.

“We'll be waiting for you out here,” Charlie added, as he stood back and rested his hands on the cold metallic railing within the concrete steps. She then turned to the glass doors with her purse over her shoulder and the sketchbook tucked her arm, and she headed inside.

She was greeted by that familiar clean smell from the carpet, the smell of college, as well as a young man in a sensible white shirt and with a head of fine platinum blond hair.

“I'm here to turn in my art to get into art school,” she proclaimed.

“Oh, really?” he asked her with a friendly smile on his face, and she handed the journal to him as if she was depending her life on him. “Did you fill out all the paper work yet?”

“I did, yes.”

“And your name?”

“Samantha Shelley,” she stated, “for the fall term.”

“I hope we can have you by then, Miss Shelley,” he told her with a thin lipped smile. “We will send you a letter in the next week—give or take.” He took her hand: his fingers curled around her hand like spidery snakes and his palm had a bit of a warmth to it that she couldn't explain, and for a moment, she forgot about the pain in her knee and her ankle. She could trust him.

“What's your name, by the way?” she asked him.

“I'm Bill,” he said, “and I'm supposed to be at work soon.”

“I'll leave you to it, then,” she declared as the smile crept across her face.

“And I'll hand this into the right people,” he vowed; for a second, she swore he winked at her. Without another word, they parted ways and she returned outside to find Frank and Charlie right next to the car; the latter leaned into the rear window to say something to Marla while the former put his hair up in a loose ponytail atop his head.

“Five little monkeys jumpin' on the bed,” they chanted in unison, when Frank turned to see her.

“There she is!” he declared with his arm extended towards her. She pressed herself close to his body. “That was quick. How'd it go?”

“They're going to send me a letter in about a week or so,” she explained.

“God, how exciting!” Marla exclaimed. “Attending art school in New York City.”

“Also, you might wanna check your bank account at some point today,” Charlie suggested with a grin on his face.

“And I have to talk to Aurora about something, too,” Marla informed them.

“She headed back up to the place, didn't she?” Charlie asked her as he bowed his head back in through the open window.

“Yeah, she did—real early this morning.”

“Miss Work Horse,” Sam joked as she rounded the back end of the car and slid into the back seat.

They headed on back up through the streets of Manhattan to meet up with Aurora, who stood outside of the front door with a clipboard full of papers in one arm and her jet black hair tied up in a taut ponytail atop her head. Her purple top shone in the bright sun like a piece of amethyst; the four of them pulled up to the curb in front of her.

“Uh, yes, we'd like four bowls of pho, some French fries, and I'd like a milkshake,” Charlie joked in a single breath.

“A milkshake with pho?” Aurora replied as she wrinkled her nose.

“At least it's pho and not kimchi,” Marla retorted as she slid out of the car.

“Oh, hell yeah, that's true,” Aurora nodded and tucked the pen behind her ear. “Oh, and by the way, we've got some people you guys oughta meet here.”

“Some dudes?” Sam called as she climbed out of the back seat right behind Marla, even though she very easily could take that other side. She adjusted the strap of her purse.

“Some manly men, yes,” Aurora joked, “and there's a girl, too.”

“Manly men and a girly girl,” Frank added as he climbed out of the passenger seat and fixed his ponytail yet again.

Aurora led them into the cozy front room, made even cozier by how many people had congregated in there. Five men dressed in total black as well as a girl with a short bob of jet black hair, a low cut black top over a leather mini skirt, and something sticklike in her back pocket stood behind them with her arms folded across her chest. She was the only person with short hair given each of those men had long inky waves down past their shoulders. They all turned to Aurora, Marla, Sam, Frank, and Charlie.

“Gentlemen, ladies,” Aurora declared, “meet the Legacy, here all the way from the Bay Area with their four track.”

Sam's eyes wondered to the far edge of the room.

There he was again. The boy with the yarmulke atop his head, except that time she could actually see him at a close range. He had little tight curls at the back of his head which started to touch his shoulders, and his face was slightly round and boyish; even from across the room, Sam could tell he towered over her. He reached up to adjust the yarmulke and she could tell he had a great deal of that thick black hair under there.

But there was something more to him.

At one point, he took off the yarmulke and gave his hair a toss back with a flick of his head. For a second, she swore the lights shone a little too hard onto the right side of his head, but when he lowered his head, she noticed a little sliver of white over his forehead. Maybe it was the light hitting him at an odd angle. Or maybe not, given the rest of his hair was solid black. A little shock of white, about the size of her pinky finger, against a helmet of solid jet black waves all around his head.

He held the yarmulke before him in one hand and he ran his free fingers through his hair. It was definitely a little sprout of white hair; white silvery hair much like the mysterious man in her dreams. The only difference was he seemed nothing like the man in her dreams, who always held her or at least wanted to come closer to her; on the other hand, this young man seemed more interested in what was going on behind that door. However, she still wanted to keep her eyes on him and that little sliver on the crown of his head, like a little droplet of a pearl.

“Sam?” Aurora asked her which broke her out of her daydream.

“Huh?” Sam gaped at her, flabbergasted.

“Marsha's tryin' to get through,” Frank told her, and Sam stumbled back a bit. Marsha breezed past her to greet this small, fledgling band.

“So you guys changed drummers, right?” Aurora asked the girl with the drum sticks in her back pocket.

“Yeah, Louie left for a bit,” she grumbled, “but then again, I'm the one payin' his rent so I dunno what his big deal is all about.” She looked like she meant business, even with her arms folded across her chest to accentuate it. One of the boys giggled behind her and she flashed him a smirk.

“Okay, so you're—” Aurora gestured to her.

“Zelda,” she said.

“Zelda?”

“Zelda Carmichael. I'm the alternate and the one paying Louie's rent.”

“I'm Eric,” the heavy boy next to her said.

“Eric, that was it!” Aurora declared as she scribbled something down. Before Sam and Marla could learn their other names, Frank and Charlie led them into the next room. Even from down the hallway, Sam kept her eye on that little knit yarmulke for a second longer. He looked like he was about ten years old, except he was willing to play in a metal band.

“Yeah, Derrick left—” Eric was cut off by Sam moving out of earshot.

“Just wanna get you ladies into another spot,” Frank told them as he fixed his ponytail yet again.

“Didn't know they were going to be here just yet, either,” Marla confessed.

“Apparently they're not going to be the Legacy anymore,” Charlie announced. “That's according to Billy, anyways.”

“They're not?” Aurora gaped at him and she almost dropped her pencil.

“Yeah, I guess there's another band down in New Orleans called that,” he explained, “and they copyrighted the name, too. That's what I've heard, anyways. They don't even know—all they know is there's another band called the Legacy. As far as I know, they're just going to drop the 'the' as far as their demo tape goes, but who knows. But I have no idea what kind of music they do, either.”

“So they're going to have to change their name,” Aurora concluded.

“What're they called now?” Sam asked him.

“They've got some ideas, but one that caught my ear—'cause Billy was the one who came up with it—was Testament.”

“Testament! Sounds mysterious.”

“Mysterious and faithful sounding,” Aurora added. “Like they're about to preach something to me, or give me something to help me out.”

“I like it,” Marla said, “there's a bit of an elegance to it.” She folded her arms across her chest. “Billy came up with it, really?”

“Yeah. At least I think he did. When he comes back up this way, ask him 'bout it, babe.”

“Where is Billy, anyways?” Frank asked him.

“He disappeared as far as I know,” Charlie joked. Marla took a seat on the couch on the side of the room, and Sam followed suit so they could take up a pocket of silence against the crowded place.

“So much people in here right now,” Sam said in a low voice and with a grin on her face. All the things happening around her made her forget about the pain in her leg.

“Yeah, it's starting to...” Marla cleared her throat. “...come together. Like it's all on the come up. All the hard work is about to play out in the best way possible. It's all bands coming together with their tapes and their records. It's almost like a dream.”

“And I've got art school knocking on the door, too,” Sam added. “Bring it on, I say.”

Marla extended her hand to give her a high five, and that was when Billy stumbled into the room right then.

“There's the man of the hour!” Sam declared with a clap of her hands.

“So you came up with the name Testament,” Marla started as she gave her orange hair a toss.

“Yeah, but nothing's concrete as of yet,” he explained with a bit of a quiver to his words. He then pointed at Sam. “Check your bank account. You've got a little something waiting for you.”

“That's what I've heard,” she said, and she turned her head to Marla.

Everything felt to be on the come up. But there was something she still didn't understand at the moment, and that was the boy in the yarmulke.

[onceuponastory]

Coming Back Home Chapter Two: I Am A Heart

“I am a heart that’s hard to pin, You are an arrow sticking in” - hey ocean!: i am a heart 

Read Chapter One: Hometown here!

Plot: Six years ago, Y/N left her hometown and all its bad memories behind, and never looked back. But now, she’s come back to be the maid of honour in her sister’s wedding. Returning ‘home’ means she has to confront her past, the last thing she wants to do. When she meets the handsome best man Nick, she feels more comfortable…until her sister asks her to show Nick around town…a town that Y/N fell out of love with a long time ago.

Can Y/N fall back in love with the town she left behind, and maybe find love of her own along the way? Important: This story is based on a prompt by @orphicodysseywrites​. It’s a mix of prompts one and two from this post, so full credit for this idea goes to them! Warnings: There’s a few mentions of death in this chapter. If you’re sensitive to it and don’t want to read this chapter because of it, I totally understand <3 A/N: This is a very long chapter, almost 2,500 words long, so I hope you all enjoy it, lmao. As always, this chapter has been checked for errors, but if you see any pls do let me know. I’m going to be inactive this coming week, because I’m taking a little staycation to a place with very limited wifi, so if you send me a message/request, it might take me a while to respond. But I will respond ASAP! I will also be trying to work on chapter three/other stuff whilst I’m away, but I REALLY need this break, so pls don’t get mad if I don’t write anything.

Again, special thanks goes to my best friend Jo, aka @thesundrop​, who made this banner, and helped so much with planning this fic. Some of you may know her as @staticscreenwriting​, where she writes Billy fics. Check them out, they’re amazing!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Nick or his character! I just used Nick bc he’s the only character of Dacre’s that fits this prompt. Again, aside from Nick being in this, this fic has NOTHING to do with The Broken Hearts Gallery. But you should all go see the movie if you can, because it’s adorable!

Adjusting my hair and outfit in the mirror for what felt like the hundredth time, I sigh. “You look fine, stop adjusting your outfit...” I tell myself. “Nick’s not going to care how you look....right?” God, I’m a mess. Putting on yet more lipgloss, Jane’s voice echoes in my mind. 

“Both of you look so much like your mother. Especially you Y/N.” She was right, I did. Not that I had many memories of how my mother looked when she was still alive, but hours spent leafing through stacks of photo albums with my Nana and Katie when we were younger had made me more familiar with her and how she looked. She was gorgeous. I wish we had more time with her. If we had, our lives would be very different...and I would never have come to this town in the first place. Suddenly, I feel stinging sensation at my eyes. Aaaaand I’m crying. Great. Just what I fucking needed. A knock sounds at my door. 

“Y/N? Are you alright? You’ve been up here a while.” Nick’s voice sounds through the door. No, THIS is just what I fucking needed. Shit. Now he’s going to think I’m a total emotional weirdo who doesn’t want to spend time with him. Not that that was a TOTAL lie, I did want to spend time with him....just anywhere but here. Oh, he’s going to hate me. “If you’re not feeling well or something’s come up, we could do this another time?” Nick continues, and I sigh again. He’s so sweet. I can’t let him down. Quickly trying to stop the tears from falling, I open the door, and Nick smiles. “Hi. You look great.” I immediately blush.

“Thanks...Oh! So do you!” I gasp, trying not to seem awkward.

“Thank you.” Nick chuckles. He looks at me closer, and his eyebrows furrow together. “Are you okay? Have you been crying?” He asks. 

“Uh, no! It’s just...allergies.” I lie. “The dust in this house is terrible. So...shall we head out?” I ask, and Nick nods. The two of us walk downstairs.

“Byeeee you two! Have fun!” Katie’s voice calls from the living room. Oh, I’m sure I will. 

“So, what do you wanna do?” Nick asks as the two of us leave the house. 

“I don’t mind. I mean, we could go to the park, or for a coffee....or just, a walk in the woods?” I suggest. “Actually, maybe not the woods. There may be an axe murderer, or the big bad wolf or something.” I immediately cringe as soon as the words leave my mouth, and Nick laughs. Oh god, he’s laughing at me and how cringy I am.

“I mean, I didn’t personally think of that, but that’s a valid concern. I think we should take the park then.” He says, and I nod. “This way?” He points towards the town, and I nod. He sets off, leaving me standing there. 

Well, that went better than expected. Oh right, I better go catch up with him. 

“So, how long did you two live here?” Nick asks as we both walk closer into town. 

“Um, about...sixteen years.” I work out the maths in my head. “We moved here when I was four, and Katie was two. We both left to go to college.”

“Oh! I thought this was where you guys were born.”

“Nooo, we just call it our hometown cause we’ve lived here from such a young age. At this point, it feels like our hometown. We’re actually from New York City, and we both moved back there for college. I live there full time now. Katie’s in New Jersey.” I explain.

“Oh, what a coincidence! I live in New York too.” Nick smiles. “Small world, right?” I nod. “So, if you don’t mind me asking, why did your parents pick here to move? This place is nice and all, but it’s a lot different than New York.” He asks. A memory flashes through my mind. 

“What the hell do you expect me to do? I can’t look after them! This shithole is the best option, and you know it.” I shudder, hoping Nick doesn’t notice. 

“Um....just personal circumstances really. Our Dad wanted a change of pace and scenery for us. He thought the city was too busy for us to grow up in.” Nick nods, and I breathe a sigh of relief. Another crisis averted. I look up at the sky and see the leaves on the trees. Some were bright orange, whilst others were red. I sigh happily. “You gotta hand it to my sister, she picked one of the most beautiful times of year to get married.” 

“Yeah, beautiful.” Nick mumbles, and I look back over at him to see him looking at me. 

“What?” His eyes go wide.

“Nothing! Just agreeing with you!” He gasps, before continuing to walk. Okay, that was weird. I shrug it off and follow him down the street. After a while, we reach the park and begin to walk around together. The two of us are silent as we take in the scenery around us. The leaves crunch under our feet. I was right, this time of year really was beautiful. The cold wind blows, and I shiver. “Want my jacket?” Nick asks. 

“No thanks, I’m okay.” I smile. But come on, giving a girl his jacket? That’s so cliché...and so damn cute.

“Want to go on the swings? That might warm you up a bit.” He suggests. Another memory enters my mind.

“When’s he coming back?” I ask, tugging on her skirt. “I miss him.

“...Soon, sweetheart. He’ll be back soon. Why don’t you go and play on the swings and I’ll come over and give you a push in a minute?” She suggests, and I nod vigorously.

“Okay! See you in a minute!” I call, running towards the swings.

“Yeah, sure. Let’s go on the swings.”

~~~

A few hours later, Nick and I were in the local coffee shop, chatting about everything from our interests to our time at college. “So when do you want to practise our big dance number?” Nick asks, taking a sip of his coffee. I sigh.

“Oh right, I forgot we’re meant to plan that at some point.” Nick chuckles. “So, what song do you want to pick?” Nick shrugs.

“It’s up to you, I’m okay with whatever.” I raise an eyebrow.

“Really? I don’t think Katie would be happy if we picked something like Baby Got Back to dance to.” Nick bursts out laughing. 

“You’re right. But it would be funny. Any suggestions?” I shake my head.

“I mean there’s so many...maybe something slow? Or something more upbeat?”

“Well we have some time, so why don’t we each make a list and pick one?” He offers. I nod. “You know, I had a really nice time today...” Nick begins. I smile.

“Me too.” And I actually meant it. Despite how much I was dreading this, it went better than I expected. My phone rings, and I take it out of my bag. “Hey, Katie...Yes, I know...Okay, I’ll be back soon. Bye.” I hang up. 

“Everything alright?” Nick asks.

“Sorry, turns out I’m urgently needed for some maid of honour duties, so I gotta go. Are you okay here, or do you wanna walk back to the house with me?” Nick waves me off.

“No, don’t worry, you go on. I need to take care of something in town anyways. See you later.”

“Bye, Nick.” I leave the coffee shop, and start the walk back to the house, almost feeling a spring was in my step. For the first time since being back here, I was happy. I was comfortable. And it was all thanks to Nick. I soon reach Nana’s house and walk inside. “Helloooo!” I call.

“Well, someone sounds happy.��� Katie’s voice sounds from the living room. She comes out to greet me. “Oh. My. God. Look at the smile on your face!” She gasps. 

“I had a great time with Nick today.” I explain.

“I can see that. Guess my big sister has the hots for the best man, huh?” She teases. My eyes widen.

“No, I don’t!” My cheeks flush. 

“Mhm sure. Deny it all you want, I can tell. Anyway, come on you, we need to make the centrepieces.” I wasn’t in love with Nick. I may love spending time with him, but I absolutely was NOT in love with him.

~~~

That Night

"We are here today to honour the life of Rose L/N.” The priest begins. “She was a light in the lives of many, especially her two granddaughters, Y/N and Katie, who she is survived by. For most of their lives, she was also their guardian.” 

“He’s not here.” Katie whispers in my ear. I discretely roll my eyes.

“Of course he isn’t. He stopped caring a long time ago.” I reply. I find her hand beside mine and give it a squeeze. “We have to be strong together now, like she said. It’s just us now.”

My eyes open, and I look around the room for a moment to get my bearings. I’m still in my childhood bedroom. It was just a dream. A dream featuring our past. A past I had tried to run from. Of course, it found a way to find me again. It has a funny way of doing that. My eyes drift over to the bedside table, displaying a picture of Katie and I with our Nana from many years ago. I smile softly and run my fingers over the image. “I miss you, Nana. I wish you were still here. To guide me...to guide us.” Laying back on my pillows, I sigh and hold the picture close. “Maybe if you were still here, I wouldn’t be such a mess.”

~~~

One Week Later - Fifteen Days Until the Wedding

“I’m just saying, Cinderella continues to be the best live-action Disney adaptation. It’s faithful to the story, the costumes are great, and it’s just so cute!” I exclaim, trying to stifle a yawn in the process. I was still having nightmares and barely sleeping. Thankfully, I was managing to hide it well, and nobody suspected anything. If they did, I could just lie and say I was up late working on bachelorette party plans and lost track of time. Nick laughs. “What?”

“I love that this is what you’re passionate about.” He grins.

“Well, I’m absolutely right.” I tell him, and he nods.

“Oh, absolutely.” I had a feeling that he had no idea what I was talking about, which was usually the case. But he agreed with me anyway, which I appreciated. Despite all my nightmares and bad memories, spending almost every day with Nick was helping me feel happier, and far more comfortable. It also took my mind off of my nightmares from the previous night. Nick was lovely, and I actually felt upset whenever we had to go back to the house. The fact he was gorgeous helped too, of course. Before I can say anything else, I suddenly spot the town’s bakery and walk over to the window. 

“Look at all these cakes.” I smile. “Oh my god, those cupcakes still look delicious.” I state, staring through the window at them. “My Nana used to bring Katie and me here every Friday after school, and we’d each get a cupcake. I always chose the birthday cake ones, cause it felt like we had a birthday celebration every week.” I smile fondly. “It’s one of my favourite memories of her.”

“Do you want one?” Nick asks, causing me to look over at him. “Seriously, do you want one?” He repeats, taking out his wallet. “They do look amazing. And after all, today is Friday. Can’t waste traditions.” He smiles, and his smile almost makes my heart do backflips.

“Seriously?” I ask.

“Seriously.” Nick opens the door of the bakery. I hear the wind-chimes over the door sound as we both walk in, just like they did all those years ago. The smell of baking is everywhere, filling me with a sense of comfort.

“Oh god, I remember this smell. It’s so...familiar.” I whisper to myself, closing my eyes. In that moment, I feel like I’m a little kid spending time with my Nana again. But when I open my eyes, I’m back to my real life, and the nostalgia is gone.

“I’m coming, just give me a few minutes!” Someone calls from through the back of the bakery.

“Opal?” I ask. Opal was the owner of the bakery...at least when I still lived in Saint Chase. Like Jane, she was friendly and welcoming, and every customer was her friend. She always used to sneak Katie and I samples of her new loaves of bread and cakes before we went to school in the mornings. If we liked them, they stayed. She always called us her honorary business partners. Of course, now I know she probably said that to every kid who wandered in, but it made kid me feel great.

“That’s my name, don’t wear- oh!” She gasps, immediately retreating back through the door she came from. Nick and I give each other a confused look. Rose returns a few moments later, carrying a small cake.“Katie! You look so different from the last time I saw you. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!” She grasps my hand and shakes it vigorously, then does the same to Nick’s hand. “Want to see a preview of the cake? This is in no way finished, but it’s just a small sample of the real thing.”

“Oh no, I-”

 “We’re not-” Nick and I begin, but Opal ignores us. 

"You two are going to just love it.”

“Opal! I’m not Katie!” I insist. She gasps, and her eyes go wide. “Katie is my sister. This is Nick. He’s the best man.”

“Oh my goodness, I am so sorry.” Her face goes red. Nick and I reassure her that it’s okay. “Anyway, what can I get you?” Nick and I order our cupcakes, and she rings them up for us. Nick opens his wallet to pay for them, but Opal shakes her head. “No, please, these are on me. Count it as an apology...Seriously. I’m so sorry about the mixup.”

“Well, thank you!″ Nick smiles, taking the cakes and walking towards the door. 

“Y/N...” Opal beckons me in closer, and I lean in. “I just have to say, you two are adorable together. I’m still sorry for my mistake, but honestly, you two look like a great couple.”

“We’re not-”

“Everything okay?” Nick asks.

“Oh! Yeah. Opal just wanted to ask me when we’re picking up the wedding cake.” I lie, giving Opal a pointed look. She nods vigorously. “Come on, let’s go. Bye Opal.” I say quickly, walking towards the door. She waves goodbye to us as we leave the store. Once we’re outside, Nick passes over my cake, taking a bite of his. 

“Oh. My. God.” He moans happily. “That’s incredible.” 

“Right?” I agree, taking a bite of mine. “It’s just as good as I remember.” Nick starts laughing at me again, and my eyes widen. “What? Did I say something weird?”

“You have icing on your face.” He responds. Of course I do. I’m a walking cliché, honestly. “Actually, you know what? I don’t care. This cake is that good.” I take another bite. “And besides, so do you.”

~~~

Later That Day

“That one looks like a dog.”

“A dog? No way. It looks like a hamster.”

“How the fuck does it look like a hamster?” Nick frowns.

“How the fuck does it look like a dog?” I respond, raising my eyebrow. Nick laughs. The two of us had finished eating our cupcakes (and wiped our faces), and were back in the park, drinking coffee and trying to see if we could tell what shape the clouds were.

“Guess we gotta agree to disagree.” I smile. “Even though I’m totally right.”

“Of course you are.” He says sarcastically, and I gasp in mock annoyance. But I don’t detect any malice from his comment...well, I hoped he wasn’t actually annoyed with me or anything, but he didn’t seem to be. Like I said before, I felt comfortable with Nick. Even though we had met a week ago, it felt like the two of us could joke with each other to our hearts content, neither meaning anything bad by it. It was weird how close we were, despite not knowing each other for that long.  “Uh, Nick?” I ask, looking up again.

“Mhm?”

“Do those ones look like rain clouds, or is that just me?”

“I think you’re right, it’s-” The heavens open before he can even finish his sentence. “Oh god, okay, come on, I saw a bike shed or something over there, we can hide out there until it stops.” Nick tells me, quickly taking his jacket off and throwing it at me.

“What’s this for?!” I ask.

“What do you think it’s for?! It’s to hold over our heads!” Nick shouts. “Now come on, let’s go.” He holds out his hand, and I take it. He pulls me up. “Ready to run?” He asks. I nod. The two of us begin running through the park, holding Nick’s jacket over our heads with one hand each. We laugh as we run, trying to avoid slipping on the damp leaves or falling over. We soon reach the shelter, and Nick and I jump under it. The shelter is small, so our bodies are pressed up close against each other. I’m aware of the scent of his cologne again. Nick’s body is warm against mine as he wraps the jacket around my shoulders. 

“You don’t have to give me your jacket.” I protest, but he insists.

“Don’t be silly. What would your sister say if I made her maid of honour catch a cold?” He asks.

“The same thing she’d say if the best man caught a cold.” I reply, trying to take the jacket off. Nick reaches out, gently placing his hands on my arms, stopping me. It feels like electricity runs up my arms as he touches them.

“Y/N, don’t worry about it. Honestly.” The two of us stand there, Nick still holding onto my arms. But it feels good. It feels...right. Nick keeps looking at me. 

“Do I still have some icing on my lips?” I ask. Nick shakes his head. 

“God, you’re so beautiful.” He mumbles loud enough for me to hear. Whether I was supposed to hear it or not, I wasn’t sure. Nick leans closer to me, and my brain immediately goes:

“He’s going to kiss me. Oh my god, he’s going to kiss me. Do I even want him to kiss me?” And I realise that...I think I do want him to kiss me. Nick’s head moves closer to mine, and my head rises up to meet his. But just as our lips are about to touch, my phone rings, causing us to break apart. Dammit. I take my phone out, seeing Katie’s name flash on the screen. She always has the best timing. “Hey Katie. What’s up? ...Yeah it’s raining really badly. Yeah, a lift back would be great. We’re at the park. Okay, see you soon. Love you too. Bye.” Hanging up, I sigh. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Nick responds. However, despite him saying that, it still felt like the air around us had changed. It wasn’t like we could go back to where we left off either, because everything felt awkward now.

Shit.

~~~

That Night

“Be good for your Daddy, okay Y/N?” She bends down and presses a kiss to my forehead. I nod. “I know I can trust you to help him look after your sister, right?”

“Of course, Mommy!” She grins, and pulls me in for a tight squeeze.

“There’s my smart girl.  I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” I nod again.

“Have fun, Mommy!” I call, as she walks out of the door. And then, she was gone. The image changes into something else. “Daddy? Where’s Mommy? Why are you crying?” He blinks rapidly and bends down to my eye level.

“Mommy’s had to go, sweetie.” He explains.

“But...but where? She was meant to take me to kindergarten!” He looks away from me.

“I’m sorry. Your mommy’s an angel...she’s not coming back.”

Gasping, I sit up in bed again, looking around the room. My heart is racing. “It’s just a bad dream...Just a bad dream...” I tell myself, trying desperately to calm myself down. Getting out of bed, I cross over to the window, trying to ignore my shaking hands, and peek out at the night sky. Rows and rows of trees disappear into the darkness. “It’s not real. She died almost twenty years ago. It’s just a bad dream.” Clenching my fists, I furiously wipe at my eyes. "Dammit!” I curse.

I hadn’t had nightmares about the death of our mother in at least fifteen years. I thought I was finally getting better. Of course, life had other ideas. “I knew I should never have fucking come back here.” I hiss. That’s why still had bad dreams, because I was back here. I should’ve said no and ran when I had the choice. No, no, that’s stupid. Of course I couldn’t have said no. I could never let Katie down. God knows life let us down enough times already. No, I need to stop blaming the town for my problems. It’s my fault. I thought I was ready and healed, but obviously, I’m not. God, I need a drink. 

Trying to be as quiet as possible, I leave my room and tiptoe downstairs to the kitchen, using my phone torch as a light source. Once I reach the kitchen and flash my light into the room, I almost jump out of my skin when I see a figure sitting at the kitchen table.

“Hey, I- Y/N?” Nick blinks his eyes, clearly startled by the bright light of my phone.

“Jesus Christ Nick! I thought you were a fucking murderer!” I gasp. He frowns.

“A murderer...who sits at the kitchen table? Anyway, why are you up so late? It’s like 2am!” I switch the light on. 

“I could ask you the same thing. Why are you here scaring the life out of me at 2am?” He holds up some paper. 

“Best man’s speech. I had a stroke of genius and decided to write some of it.”

“In the middle of the night? In the darkness? And people say I’m weird.” Nick chuckles. I cross over to the cupboards and get out some mugs to make tea. “Want some tea?” I ask, and he nods.

“Anyway, you didn’t answer my question. What brings you here at this hour?”

“Oh I just love hanging out with men in kitchens at 2am, didn’t Katie tell you?” I tease, filling the kettle and putting it on to boil. Nick laughs. I can’t tell him the truth. Then he would think I was weird. “But seriously. Couldn’t sleep.” I mean, that wasn’t a total lie. Nick didn’t have to know the truth. “How’s the speech going?”

“Ehhh?” Nick responds. I turn back to him and raise an eyebrow. “Not well.”

“I can tell.” The kettle finishes boiling, and I pour the water into the mugs. “But I’m here now, so you have an extra person to help you.”

~~~

One Hour Later

“Y/N...Y/N?” I hear someone whispering. Is someone....nudging me? I look up. Why was my head on the table? I notice that Nick has scooted closer to me. Is he the one nudging me?

“Mmm, Nick...whashappenin?” I mumble. 

“You fell asleep.” He explains. I shoot up in my seat and rub my eyes. 

“What?!” I gasp. “Why didn’t you wake me up?! I was meant to be helping you with your speech!” 

“It’s alright, don’t worry.” Nick reassures me. “You looked really tired, so I thought I’d let you sleep. You sure you’re okay?” He asks. Before I can say anything in response, I yawn. “Guess that answers my question. I think you should go to bed.” I shake my head.

“Nope. I’m not....” I cut myself off with another yawn. Nick gives me a look. “...Okay, maybe I’m a little bit tired.” I admit.

“Mhm. Come on, let’s get you to bed.” He helps me up. I protest, but he continues to do so. “Y/N, trust me. You need some sleep. You’ll thank me later.” I realise he’s probably right. So, I let him lead me upstairs and into my bedroom, his hand resting on the small of my back. “So uh....can you take care of yourself from here?” He asks. I chuckle softly and nod.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Thanks Nick.” I smile. “Goodnight.”

“Night Y/N.” 

~~~

The Next Morning - Thirteen Days Until the Wedding

“You invited Great Aunt Hilda? Seriously? All she’s going to do is talk about her cats.” 

“That’s why she’s sitting with you. At least you’ll have something in common.” Katie jokes. I jokingly punch her in the arm. “Hey!” She laughs. The two of us were spending the day arranging seating charts and finalising the seating plan. So far, it was all going well, and we managed to make it fun. “Oh, god.” Katie wrinkles her nose. “I forgot both Uncle Chris and Aunt Pamela said yes, AND they’re bringing plus ones. That’s gonna be rough.”

“I’m sure it’ll be okay. Didn’t they get divorced like three years ago?” I ask.

“Yeah, but I don’t think Aunt Pam’s gonna be a fan of his plus one....” She raises her eyebrows suggestively.

“Oh right, he dumped her for his secretary, the one with the big boobs, didn’t he? Are they still together?”

“Yuuuup. She’s the plus one.”

“Better sit those two as far away from each other as possible then...” I mumble, trying to arrange the tables on my side of the chart as best as I can. Studying the rest of the little figures representing people, I frown, seeing one I haven’t seen before. One I definitely did not expect to see. I pick it up, and my eyes go wide. “Uh, Katie?”

“Mhm?”

“...Why does our Dad have a seating place?”

[staticscreenwriting]

All you have to be is here - Part 3

Synopsis: Billy has fucked up and has to do 60 days of community service at a home for troubled kids and youth. Working with the kids there makes him learn a lot about himself. Also there’s a girl there his age who’s smile is phenomenal and who is way too nice to him.

I guess I should mention there’s a lot of angst in this. Talk of substance abuse later on, physical abuse, emotional abuse. All that kind of gnarly real life stuff. It deals with kids and teens struggling with a a shitty family life so be aware of that.

Part 3 of ?

Part 1 // Part 2 //

[additional note: I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please.  I’ll make a header image at some point.]

I never really ever felt so adored before Never really ever felt this type of vulnerable Don’t have to hide, don’t have to fear All you have to be is here Never really ever felt so adored before And I said I wanna feel like this forever Even if forever’s just for now We’re on fire, let us burn As the outside world, it turns We are here and alive In our corner of time Forevermore

The rain knocks heavily against the windows of (Y/N)’s flat as Billy slowly strolls around the living room. 

“ Feel free to put on some music, there should be a tape in the player “ (Y/N) hollers from the bathroom. The door is slightly ajar and Billy can just about catch a glimpse of her lathering her lips in a bright red color. 

There’s a cassette player on a side table, next to some books and some picture frames. It’s held together by entirely too many pieces of shiny grey duct tape. Billy wonders just how well this thing is still working. Then again, he of all people, should be the expert on broken things working just fine.

As he presses play the opening chords of Bennie and the Jets start filling the room, making Billy screw up his face in disapproval. 

“ Elton John ? “ he asks, raising his voice a little to make himself heard over the music.

“ Fuck yeah, he’s a musical genius. This song is so catchy. “ 

He’s about to skip the song, hoping the next one to be something more suitable to his taste, when he sees her through the crack of the open door. She’s dancing along to the song, mouthing the words and shaking her hips as her hands work on styling her hair.

He stops himself, keeps the song on, if only to see her move like that. She’s cute and who is he to deny himself the pleasure of seeing a cute girl dance. And to deny her the pure joy of listening to a song she likes.

His eyes drift towards one of the picture frames, it’s made of dark wood and it looks quite heavy. In the picture there’s a little girl with a bright smile and a gap between her front teeth. Those eyes staring back at him, he’s seen before. He looks at them every time he arrives at HHTCY. She looks happy in this picture, there’s a bunch of daisies in her hair and she’s holding onto a popsicle. Next to her is a woman who has the same hair color and the same smile and she looks at the little girl with an adoration he’s hardly ever seen in a person before. 

“ That’s my mom. I mean — it’s pretty obvious but yeah. That’s her, “ (Y/N) speaks up from beside him. She’s all done up, her lips a cherry red color and her hair styled to perfection. She looks great, he thinks. Then again, she is naturally that pretty so this shouldn’t be a surprise really. 

There’s a lot Billy wants to say then, most of all he wants to ask what happened. To the happy girl in the picture and the mother that looked at her with love that is almost palpable through a photograph. You don’t ask people that though. You don’t ask people why they used to be happy and why they aren’t anymore. The woman in the picture though, she doesn’t look like someone who’s kid would have themself emancipated at 15. It looks like another life all together. 

Billy wonders if his mom ever looked like someone who’d abandon her family. Who’d leave her son with a cruel cruel man. A man she knew was gonna turn her son into a monster. He wonders if other people saw that in her, a woman who’d run. He didn’t. Maybe he was just too young or maybe he just didn’t want to see it. Or maybe mom was just good at hiding the person she truly was. A quitter. Not a mother after all.

The unshakable truth is that she’s gone god knows where and he’s not going to find an answer to any of his questions so it’s best to lock those thoughts up in a chest and bury them deep inside himself where no one can find them and none of it can hurt him. Not anymore. 

“ You ready to go ? “ he asks, trying to steer the conversation into another direction. Any other direction.

- OOO -

Tina Warren lives at the end of a cul-de-sac. Her light blue house with the white columns and the big front lawn stands proudly in a sea of several other houses that look exactly the same. Like little doll houses mass produced for the perfect suburban family to spend their perfect life in these walls. Billy thinks it’s a bit ironic. He knows that Tina’s dad fucks his secretary and that her mother throws back diet pills and painkillers as if they’re tic-tac. 

But it’s alright, right ? As long as the lawn is exactly the height it’s supposed to be and the paint on the door doesn’t chip and everyone is smiling. God, all of this is so fucking fake. It all feels artificial and wrong. Plasticy. As if someone took the town and replaced all the residents with barbie copies of themselves.

“ Is this Tina’s house ? “ (Y/N) voice janks him from his thoughts.

“ Yeah. You know Tina ? “ 

“ I mean, I don’t know her personally “ (Y/N) replies and shrugs her shoulders making the slightly too big denim jacket slide down her arm a little, “ I’ve heard of her though. Her uh — skills are quite talked about. Also I’ve been to a party here before. Don’t think I ever talked to her though. “ 

Tina Warren thinks her pussy is magic. Thinks that once she sleeps with a guy it inevitably turns him into a lovesick fool for her. That, he knows, is bullshit. It’s not as magical as she thinks it is and everyone is either too nice or too desperate to tell her otherwise. And really, he respects her for her decisions in a way. People, Billy believes, should be able to fuck whoever they want if no one gets hurt in the process and both parties are willing participants. He just hates the fact that Tina makes a big deal out of nothing. Hell, she showed up at his fucking house when he didn’t call her back after — well afterwards.

The house is filled with people, most of them Billy recognizes from passing them in the hallways or staring at the back of their heads during class. None of them are his friends though. He had friends in California. Real ones. Ones that — that tried to see the good in him. That knew and wholeheartedly believed there was a person in him that wasn’t just the monstrous creation of his father’s rage. 

He had friends. Past tense. None of them called since he’s moved here so he assumes the don’t care so much anymore. 

As he walks through the house, (Y/N) on his heels, he can feel the crowd’s eyes on him. When he first arrived here, he thrived at the admiration. He liked when the girls threw themselves into his arms and how the guys seemed to look up to him. The novelty of it all has worn off a while ago though. Now it’s a nuisance. The guy they all seem to admire ? That guy is an absolute asshole and Billy hates him. Though that’s the role he’s played since a very young age, since he was left to face his nightmare all alone. That guy is tough, he’s cold and bulletproof. 

If that’s the guy he needs to be to survive, it’s who he will be. Doesn’t mean that’s who he wants to be though.

He maneuvers his way into the kitchen which is way less crowded. As he takes a beer from the counter he can tell why, they’re lukewarm. Disgusting. 

“ This is honestly the worst punch I ever had “ (Y/N) exclaims and Billy looks up at her, standing by the bowl of punch, red solo cup in her hand.

“ Beer is lukewarm “ 

“ Ok great so it’s either pisswarm beer or terribly mixed punch. So much to chose from “ (Y/N) chuckles before grabbing one of the beer cans. 

“ I’d rather drink this than whatever that concoction pretends to be. Whoever mixed that has no taste buds, I swear “ 

As if on cue, Tommy storms through the door, throwing his arms up above his head all the while sloshing his drink everywhere. “ Hargrove ! “ 

“ Tommy. “ 

“ Hey man, have you tried my punch yet ? It’s real fuel, my man. Real fuel. “ 

Tommy’s punch, huh ? That explains a lot. Where Tommy is loyal to those he thinks will benefit him, he is dense as a poundcake. 

“ Dude this punch sucks. “ 

Tommy turns towards (Y/N), who he hadn’t seemed to notice just a minute ago and now she was occupying his full attention.

“ Who are you ? “ 

“ (Y/N), who are you ? “ 

“ Tommy ?!” 

“ You say this as if I’m supposed to know. Either way, Tommy, your punch tastes disgusting. “ 

Tommy looks at Billy as if asking for help which only earns him an indifferent shrug from the boy. 

“ It’s not. I uh — I’ve only heard good things before. People like it. “ 

“ Or they just don’t wanna hurt your feelings. Taste it man, it’s shit. “ 

To Billy’s surprise, Tommy actually walks towards the bowl and pours himself a cup of punch only to screw up his face in disgust at the first taste of the sugary liquid.

“ You might have a point. “ 

“ What did you put in there ?” 

“ Uh — everything. “ 

“ Everything ? “ Billy asks, inserting himself into the conversation for the first time since it started.

“ Yeah. Just poured in whatever I could find in my dad’s liquor cabinet. Rum, Vodka, cointreau. “ 

“ Jesus christ “ Billy scoffs and takes another sip of the lukewarm bear.

“ Thomas my friend, maybe you should let other people handle the punch next time. Or at least stick to one kind of alcohol “ 

Tommy nods and reaches for a can of beer “ I guess. “ 

As he leaves the kitchen, Billy can’t suppress the chuckle leaving his lips. 

“ He’s not usually this reasonable when I tell him he’s being a dumbass. “ 

“ Probably because you tell him he’s a dumbass. Also you’re not nearly as cute as me. “ 

She has a point there. Not that he’s ever going to admit it. But she does have a point.

“ Ah shit “ (Y/N) cuts in before Billy can even reply to her comment.

He follows her eyes towards a group of people entering the house. Two of them he’s never seen and the other one is Keith Kinsella. Keith is rich, that’s all Billy knows. He’s rich and his mother drives a Porsche that he gets to borrow every once in a while. 

“ What are we looking at ? “ Billy asks, unable to figure out the shift in mood just then.

“ Keith “ 

“ Why are we looking at Keith ? “ 

“ He’s my ex boyfriend and I don’t wanna have to socialize with him. “ 

That is something Billy hasn’t expected. Keith is so — so Keith. He is one of Hawkins typical rich kids who seem to think a bad hair day is the end of all things. A kid who seems so fundamentally different to (Y/N).

“ Keith ? Keith Kinsella. “ 

“ Look I am not judging your taste in girls, alright. I — he was nice. Then he fucking cheated on me like the pig he is. That’s how I know people from Hawkins High. Keith introduced them to me when we were together. Even introduced me to his other girl, although I didn’t know at that point that that was what she was. I gotta get outta here. “ 

“ You wanna leave ? “ 

“ Nah. I just need to get some air. Just — just come find me when you’ve got enough of this. “ 

With that she finishes her beer and grabs another can before rushing towards the back patio doors leading outside where the rain had stopped a while ago.

Billy tries to mingle, tries to enjoy his night. It just all feels wrong. Like the shine has washed off and all that he’s left with is a dull hollow feeling. All these people don’t give a shit about him and he doesn’t care about them either. It’s nothing personal, really. If this was another life where time hadn’t made him numb and bitter, maybe he’d be friends with a bunch of them. It’s not a different life though. It is here and now. 

He moves around the party clouded in a haze. It’s like for the first time since he’s arrived he finally sees his situation for what it is. A desperate measure to cope with his emotional turmoil. He doesn’t like these people, the music sucks, the punch is toxic and the beer is lukewarm. And when before he could push all those thoughts to the side, he can’t do that any longer. Whatever has shifted in him makes him painfully aware that none of his coping mechanisms work anymore. There’s no desire in him to drink his pain away, to fuck a random girl and forget about life for a short moment. He just wants the world to stop for a single second. To be able to breathe. 

It’s about an hour later that he steps onto the back patio, the same beer still clutched in his hand. It’s a warm night and he should be able to see the stars though the backyard is illuminated by all kinds of fancy garden lights and he can hardly make out a single star. He wonders if rich people like the Warren’s just don’t give a shit about trivial stuff like looking at the stars. Maybe the artificial light means more to them. He wonders if they know what they’re missing out on. 

There have been countless night, back when things were — different. Nights that Billy has spent in his back garden sitting beside his mom and looking at the night sky. And she would tell him stories about all the different constellations. Looking back now, half of her stories were probably made up bullshit, but Billy liked them anyway. They always fascinated him. It felt like the world was so much bigger than he could even begin to grasp. He truly believed there was more out there than the tiny house he was stuck in, where anger lived and sadness and yelling. Always yelling.

Now the sky is just a sky and stars are just stars and made up stories don’t give him hope. Looking at the sky now makes him feel very small. Very insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

(Y/N) sits at the end of the patio, legs tucked beneath her, can of beer by her side.

“ You alright with some company ? “ 

“ The company you ? “ 

“ Mmh. “ 

“ Then sure. Sit down. “ 

They don’t talk for a moment, just take in what lies before them. A lawn that looks like a carpet it’s that neatly cut. It’s bordered by perfectly symmetrical hedges and at the far end of the garden there’s a wooden pedestal that proudly presents the family’s own hot tub. 

“ Do you think people live here ? “ 

“ Huh ? “ 

“ I mean — “ (Y/N) starts then takes a breath as if considering her words carefully “ — do you see people actually going about their lives here. Pigging out on chinese takeout on their white suede couch and having a water balloon fight on this lawn ? “ 

“ Not really no.” 

Because it’s a fucking doll’s house. A movie set. People put on a show. They always do. 

“ Me neither. I know I am always wishing for better things. A better job, a better apartment, a better car. But honestly, looking at this makes me cherish what I have. Maybe materialistic things really aren’t all that matters. “ 

“ I like your apartment. “ 

He really does. It’s so unapologetically her. She’s present in every corner and every crack. Her personality floods the halls and makes them — hers. And he is forever envious of that. 

“ Yeah ? Well the couch is yours whenever you feel like staying over. “ 

Being welcomed into someone’s life is a weird feeling that Billy has entirely forgotten about until just now. He’s so used to being a footnote in someone else’s life that it makes him feel strange when someone deliberately and consciously chooses to welcome him into theirs. 

“ Your cat needs to learn how to respect personal space first. “ he laughs but really he already looks forwards to sleeping on her tiny couch again.

“ Can’t believe you dated Keith Kinsella of all people. He’s — he’s Keith.” 

“ Yeah so ? “ 

“ You ever met a single guy called Keith who didn’t turn out to be a complete dumbass ? Like a massive fucking idiot ? Have you ever met a single Keith you could trust ? “ Billy asks, raising his eyebrows in question.

(Y/N) screws up her face in confusion for a moment then shrugs her shoulders “ I guess you have a point. “ 

“ I always do, babe. “ 

“ Do you huh ? Well I’ve never met a William I could trust before either. “ 

“ Good thing no one ever calls me that. It might as well not be my name, honestly. William is a little kid somewhere in California, chasing seagulls by a beach and listening to his parents argue. I’m Billy. Just Billy. “ 

“ Well, “ (Y/N) exclaims and pushes herself to her feet before reaching out his hand “ I think just Billy is a pretty decent guy. So does just Billy wanna get the fuck outta here ? “ 

When he takes her hand, the world for a small moment feels like it allows him to breathe. So he takes a breath wishing things could feel like this forever.

- OOO -

After assuring her multiple times that he’s only had half a lukewarm beer and is okay to drive, Billy and (Y/N) cruise around Hawkins for a while with no place to go, no direction, no destination. 

That’s until (Y/N) makes him stop by a gas station and wait in the car as she goes inside. She doesn’t answer any questions about why and what but honestly, Billy doesn’t care. He’s just glad to be spending time with someone that a) doesn’t hate his guts and b) isn’t so dull and boring it makes him want to bash his head against a wall repeatedly. 

A glance at the clock in his car tells him that it’s just a few minutes to midnight. How ironic. A gas station of all places huh ? It’s weirdly fitting.

(Y/N) hurries back into the car, a small plastic bag clutched in her hand.

“ What’d you get there ? Condoms ? “ 

“ No you asshole. I’ll show you in — a minute and 12 seconds. “ 

“ That’s weirdly specific. “ 

“ Uh-huh. Well can you do me a favor and close your eyes for a moment. ? “ 

“ Why ?” 

“ Billy, “ she says and looks at him in that specific “just do it” kinda way that girls have perfected over the course of time “ can you just do as I tell you, please. Trust me! “ 

Trust. It’s been a while since Billy trusted a person. And that turned out to be a complete shit-show. So for a second he hesitates. Though as he looks at (Y/N) and the honesty in her eyes he can’t help himself but close his. Can’t help himself but to trust her.

She fumbles around with the bag for a moment then the clicking sound of a lighter echoes through the car. “ If you burn my car you’re toast. “

“ I’m not an idiot. Okay turn around — now “ 

The car is illuminated by the shine of a single candle stuck onto a Twinkie. (Y/N) smiles the biggest smile he’s seen her smile in — well ever since they met. 

“ Happy Birthday, just Billy. “ 

Billy Hargrove turns 18 years old in the parking lot of a gas station while some shitty pop songs plays on the radio and a girl he hardly knows hands him a birthday cake substitute made out of a Twinkie and a pink birthday candle. 

Billy thinks this is probably the best birthday he’s had in a while. 

“ How do you know it’s my birthday ? “ 

“ Told you I read your file “ she laughs and nods towards the Twinkie “ make a wish. I have approximately 12 seconds until the wax starts dripping onto my hands so — please. “ 

Looking at the candle, Billy remembers the first Birthday wish he’s ever consciously made. He remembers it so vividly because it’s been the same one ever since. He was 5 and mom had gotten him a really cool race car themed cake from the grocery store. It was white and red and yellow and there were lighting bolts on it and a toy car. He loved that cake, thought it was so cool.

He remembers sitting by the kitchen table, cake stood before him, candles burning. He remembers looking up at his mom who smiled with a smile that rivaled the sun in its radiance. Then his eye drifted towards Neil. Neil and his ever present scowl. His inability to show even the smallest amount of compassion. Of love.

5 year old Billy closed his eyes and blew out the candles wishing one thing and one thing only. To never become his father. 

As he looks up at (Y/N) and her smile and her gorgeous eyes he thinks that maybe it’s time for a new wish. So instead of wishing to not become Neil, he wishes to be Billy. Just Billy. A better version of the person he is right now. One capable of great things. One worthy of being loved. 

A version of himself that deserves (Y/N). 

Billy looks back down at the Twinkie. It’s probably the best present he’s received since his mom has left. And that says a lot because he hates Twinkies.

But it’s a present given to him solely because (Y/N) thought it would make him happy. Because she wants to let him know she’s thought of him on his birthday. 

Whenever he gets presents from Neil, for his birthdays or Christmas, they come with scowls. They’re empty gestures that are meant to keep up the image of a perfectly normal, perfectly happy family. They’re usually accompanied by a talk about how disappointing Billy’s been lately. 

Presents are not fun in the Hargrove household. They’re reminders to keep the image up. Reminders that things could be so much worse. Only could they really ?

“ Do you not like it ? “ (Y/N) questions.

He doesn’t think there’s words to express just how much he likes it. Not the Twinkie but the gesture.

So he doesn’t say anything. He pulls her closer and kisses the top of her head. As if he’s known her all his life. 

Maybe that doesn’t matter though. Maybe all it needs is a few days for someone to become an important part of your life. Time is relative anyway, isn’t it ? Time doesn’t fucking matter. 

“ No I love it. Thank you, (Y/N)”.

For everything.

- OOO -

The skies open up again at exactly 1:34. Billy looks at the clock just when the rain starts pouring down on them. They’ve spent the last hour and a half munching on various snacks (Y/N) has purchased at the gas station and talking about various people from their High schools. 

“ What about Tina then ? “ 

“ What about her ? “ (Y/N) answers around a bite of an oreo cookie.

“ What’s your take on her ? “ 

She shrugs “ I guess she’s kinda unconventional compared to some other girls around, like — I don’t know, Nancy Wheeler ? But I mean, good for her. Right ? If that makes her happy who am I to judge her for that. She seems fine with how things are going and I think that’s respectable. “ 

“ Alright. I agree. “

“ Course you do, you fucked her. “ 

“ Maybe I didn’t “ 

(Y/N) only raises her eyebrow.

“ Ok, yeah I did. “ 

“ I’m jealous of Tina. “ (Y/N) confesses, looking at the raindrops racing each other down the windows. 

“ Because I had sex with her ? “ Billy questions, unable to keep the smirk of his lips.

“ No. No not because of that. I — I envy the way she gets to experience things. She just does things. She’s fearless. She doesn’t constantly have to question herself about every little thing she does. You know ? She gets to try things out and properly figure out who she is. “ 

“ And you don’t ? “ 

“ I’ve been living on my own since I was 15 and even before, things were — difficult. I don’t have the comfort, the stability to try stuff and figure things out as I go. I have to pay rent, I have to keep my job and make sure my grades are up so I get to keep living the way I do right now. I have to be a responsible adult. There’s no room for me to mess up and make mistakes and learn from them. I always have to have a plan and stick to it and make sure that I do things right the first time. I don’t have parents to fall back on when I fuck up. Sometimes I feel like this whole situation, the emancipation and all that is more restrictive than it is liberating. Sure, I’m good with how things are I just — envy people who get to be teens during their teen years. Who get to mess up and not fear that the consequences might ruin their life. “ 

He’s never thought of it like that. Ever since she has told him about her situation he’s been nothing but envious of her. But this is a whole new perspective and for the first time Billy realizes that maybe not everything in her life is as great as it seems. 

“ Olivia Newton-John “

“ What ? “ 

“ You asked me about my childhood crush the other day. It was Olivia Newton-John. Mom had me watch Grease one day and I — pow. Little Billy didn’t know what hit him but it hit him hard. “ 

“ She’s pretty. “ 

“ Yeah, but I’m more of a Michelle Pfeiffer kinda guy these days. “ 

“ You’re ridiculous is what you are “ she says with a smile. He decided then that her smile if probably one of the best smiles he’s seen in his 18 years on this earth.

“ Hey Billy ? “ 

“ Hmm ? “ 

“ Do you wanna stay on my couch tonight ? I just — it’s your birthday and I don’t want you to be sad or go home to a situation that doesn’t make you feel completely and utterly happy. Because that’s how you should feel on your birthday. I’ll even make you pancakes and bacon. “ 

He doesn’t need pancakes or bacon. All he needs is a place where he’s wanted. That’s all he needs to be happy and that is just what she’s willing to give. 

“ I’d love to. “ 

- OOO -

As Billy settles down on her couch, he can hear (Y/N) softly humming along to the radio while getting ready for bed. 

It’s that annoying “Only You” song playing, the Alison Moyet version. Though with (Y/N) singing along while wiping makeup from her face, it’s suddenly way less annoying.

“ Have you ever thought about doing that for a living ? “ Billy asks, hoping she can hear him over the music and into the other room.

“ Taking off my makeup ? “ 

“ Singing. “ 

“ Oh I — oh no. I have to pay rent remember. Can’t be going out there chasing dreams that don’t come true anyway. “ 

It breaks his heart a little, to hear her say that. It’s not like Billy has a bunch of big dreams he wants to accomplish but he also doesn’t have a talent that lends itself as the basis of big dreams. Back when he was really young he always wanted to be a professional surfer but that dream was squashed when mom left and he hasn’t been on a board since. Sometimes he wonders if he’s even still able to surf properly. 

“ I think you should. You sound good ! “ 

“ Even when singing cheesy pop songs you don’t like ? “ she teases. 

“ Don’t be annoying — but yes, even then “ 

Especially then, he thinks, because she makes them less cheesy and entirely more bearable. He keeps that to himself though.

“ Alright, whatever you say. “ she brushes him off with a smile and goes back to cleaning her face though he swears once she continues she sings just a bit louder.

- OOO - 

The racoon is staring at him. He’s 100% sure. It’s staring right into his soul. Dr. K is ramblingon about one thing or another but all Billy can focus on is the stupid taxidermy racoon and the fact that his little beady glass eyes seem to be able to swallow him whole and figure out his deepest darkest secrets.

“ Billy ? “ 

“ Huh ? “ 

“ I said I would like to talk to you about your community service. How do you like it ? Please talk me through a typical day of yours. “ 

Billy pulls his glance away from the critter and towards the doctor before him. It’s his second session and he really wants to be here just as little as he did the first time. It’s not like he’s gonna pour his heart out to this guy anytime soon. To Billy this is a waste of both their time.

“ I get there, we usually set up some things for either arts and crafts or some other group activity. We sit there during those and listen, sometimes I don’t listen I’ll be honest. Afterwards we clean up. Then we have lunch. Then we — “ 

“ Let me interrupt you there “ Dr. K says moving his too big glasses down the bridge of his too big nose. “ You keep saying we. Who is the other person involved ?  “

“ (Y/N) “ 

“ And (Y/N) is … ? “

He doesn’t want to talk about (Y/N). Not because she’s not important or because he’s ashamed or anything. But (Y/N) is the one good thing in his life right now his — his friend ? She gets him. She understands and most of all she doesn’t judge. He doesn’t want to share any of that with Dr. K or anyone else. This is his little piece of happiness and he’s not ready to show it to the world.

“ She’s just (Y/N) “. 

And that’s all she ever has to be.

[baxtermatthews]

just thought i’d share some moments from the jonathan/steve/billy fic i’ve been working on 

When they finally reach Steve’s table Jonathan just stands there, shoulders hunched, tense, fidgeting with the tray in his hands and looking like he’d rather be anywhere but here. Steve watches as Nancy nudges him with her shoulder and gives him a look.

“Um, hi.” Jonathan mumbles, making brief eye contact and then looking down at the floor. Steve shakes his head and laughs a little to himself at the thought of Nancy dragging this poor kid to the cafeteria and Jonathan following along like a helpless little puppy—remembering that not too long ago that was him.

“Hey man.”

Jonathan gives him a nervous smile.

Steve doesn’t know how much time passes but it feels like a hundred years go by of them sitting in silence. Until, it occurs to Steve that he’s going to have take control of the conversation if he wants to get Jonathan to talk. “Oh god tell me you didn’t Nance.” Steve says, and Nancy purses her lips.

“What? What’s wrong?”

“God, I can see it written all over his face.” Steve throws a hand up, snorts out a laugh, shakes his head, eyeing Jonathan as he ups his antics, who seems to be enjoying it. “The Nancy talked me to death about how much she loves school and filling out college applications look.”

Nancy punches him in the arm. “Ow!” And Steve bites his cheek to keep from grinning.

“You’re right Nancy. Steve’s quite the gentleman.” Jonathan says, smiling, and it’s a lot less forced. Steve figures it’s a win.  

--

“Billy.” Nancy says, her tone dipping a bit, but she’s not looking at Billy.

Steve follows her gaze to see Jonathan sipping a juice box. Oh, right. He had been so caught up in Billy that he had almost completely forgotten that it wasn’t just the three of them at the table. He wonders what Jonathan thinks of it all.

Billy plops down next to him, knocks his knee into Steve’s.

Steve turns, looks right into Billy’s grinning face. He lets his eyes linger on him before turning his attention back to Nancy, who just shrugs. There’s no noticeable injuries on his face. But that could mean something way more serious. Either Billy’s putting on one hell of an act or they’re just overreacting.

And Steve wants so badly to say something. But maybe Billy really is fine. So, he decides to let it go.

It isn’t too hard. Because when he feels a warm, firm hand on his thigh his brain forgets all previous thoughts.

Sometimes when Billy’s feeling bold

, which has been happening more and more often, he’ll be overly handsy in public. He’ll show up to class without a pen or pencil and when Steve hands him his he’ll let his fingers brush his a few moments longer than the exchange calls for. He’ll bump shoulders, sling an arm around Steve’s neck, whisper something into Steve’s ear whenever they’re in the hallway. Knock him down in practice just so he has an excuse to touch him. Or, like right now, he’ll put his hand on Steve’s thigh while they’re sitting in the cafeteria, talking to Nancy. But this. This is different. Billy’s hand moves further up his leg till it’s mere inches away from Steve’s crotch, his eyes fixed solely on Jonathan. “Alright. Alright. Who’s the kid?”

--

“Great. Because as much as I like hanging out with the princesses, they can be a bit of a snooze fest.”

Steve snorts, flicks Billy in the shoulder. “Are you saying we’re boring?”

“Aww. Did I upset the ex king?” He asks, voice pitched high.

Before Steve can answer, come up with some witty comeback, Billy’s fingers brush over Steve’s crotch and Steve jerks forward in his seat. “F-uck you,” Steve says through gritted teeth, and Billy slaps him on the back and laughs.

--

Steve raises his fist. But when he meets Billy’s eye he freezes. There’s a brightness to them like they’re saying Come on pretty boy. I’m practically begging for it.

He lowers his hand, rolls off Billy. “This is stupid,” Steve says, staring up at the darkness. He feels Billy chuckle and it makes him sick. That’s the only reaction he gets, though. So he continues to stare into the pitch black sky. Lets himself get lost in it. And for a while it works. He starts to forget. About Jonathan. About Billy. Instead, he focuses on everything else around him. The damp dirt beneath his palms. Leaves rustling in the wind. The unpleasant sounds the insects make. The low rumble of his car. The list goes on and on.

There’s a piercing scream. Not humanlike. Something much more frightening.

For a second Steve doesn’t think anything of it. But then he’s reminded of Jonathan. Of how he’s out there alone. Drunk.

He pushes himself off the ground, realizes Billy’s no longer there. Instead, he’s leaning against his own car, lighting up a cigarette. Maybe he’s still waiting for him to make the first move. But Steve’s not about to cave in.

--

Steve realizes he must look like some creepy stalker —that if Jonathan were to turn around and see him standing there, he’d probably freak out—and slowly begins to inch closer.  And whatever stealthily ninja skills he thought he had going on decides to fail him in that moment because the next thing he knows he’s tripping over his own two feet, bumping into Jonathan, knocking some photographs out of his hand. “Shit! Sorry.” Steve says, dropping down to pick up the pictures that are now scattered across the dusty floor. Smooth Steve. Real smooth. Jonathan drops down as well and when Steve fingers reach out, curl around the edges of the last picture, they touch Jonathan’s lightly. Jonathan pulls his hand back so fast, like it’s been burned and Steve tries to not let himself feel a bit hurt.

Steve gets up. Wipes at the dirt on his pant leg. “Sorry man.” He says again. Then, looks at the stack of pictures in his hand. He knows he shouldn’t. Some of these pictures are most likely moments that he’d like to keep private. But curiosity gets the better of him. The firsts one’s of Will in some wizard costume. The costume’s way too big for him, practically swimming in it, but his bright, bright smile is enough for Steve to understand why he decided to capture that moment. The next one is Nancy at her locker. “These are pretty good.”

“Aren’t you- You’re not supposed to be here.” Jonathan says, looking more annoyed than anything as he snatches the pictures from his hand.

“I’m not supposed to be here or you don’t want me here,” Steve says, crosses his arms over his chest, wiggles his brows.

--

Steve’s used to Billy checking in when he’s like this. Knows Steve just needs something warm. Something solid. Something real.

He hears the sound of a lighter, sees the flame flicker as Billy lights his cigarette. Steve looks at him then. The lazy grin on his face, like he knows Steve’s about to give them the riot act for smoking in the house, grin widening even more as a puff of smoke hits Steve in the face and Steve hates it that Billy still looks sexy while blowing smoke in his face. But he does.

“Come on Harrington. Don’t play dumb. I saw the way you looked at him too.”

“That wasn’t part of the deal.” Steve shrugs.

“Oh, so now you’re all about sticking to the deal.” 

Billy breathes in deep, grabs at his necklace and pulls. He’ll do that a lot. The first time Steve noticed, he didn’t think anything of it. But then he did it again. And again. And again. And Steve finally caught on. Though, he doesn’t know exactly why Billy does it, except that it seems to calm him down so he never questions it.

But there’s so much he just doesn’t know. Like why he’s never seen Billy without the necklace on. Even when they’re in the showers after practice he’ll spot it dangling from his neck. It’s like it’s permanently glued to his skin.

--

“Are you alright? Billy. If you’re really hurt I have to know.”

He inches forward once again, albeit rather slowly, giving Billy time to stop him. Its when his hand is mere inches away from making contact with Billy’s shirt that Billy finally reaches out and grabs his wrist. “Just fuckin drive already Johnny boy.” Billy says through clenched teeth, eyes locked on Jonathan’s. Jonathan feels an uneasiness take over his body at the emptiness of those blue eyes, like hope doesn’t even exist in Billy’s world, but he also sees the pleading behind them. Jonathan starts to move then but Billy’s grip doesn’t loosen. They stay like that for awhile. Billy’s labored breath filling the silence.

Eventually Billy lets go and Jonathan looks him over once more before shutting the door, hurrying over to the driver’s side and peeling out of the parking lot. The Clash’s Should I Stay or Should I Go is on full blast and Jonathan turns the knob down, thinking Billy will make some snarky comment about how he has shitty taste, but when he casts a glance over at Billy, he’s leaning his head against the glass, a bit hunched in on himself.

They’ve been driving for a good fifteen minutes- more than half way to Jonathan’s house- and Billy hasn’t uttered a word since he told Jonathan to just drive. Jonathan’s pretty sure they passed Billy’s house.

And it’s like Billy can read his mind because he hears him shift in his seat and then Billy says, “Not gonna ask wha happen?”

Jonathan figures it’s a good time to pull over.

--

Steve waits until hears a door slam shut to look back at Jonathan. “You have every right to slam the door in my face but hear me out. We can go out there. Find there’s nothing that dangerous. It was just an abnormally large dog.” Jonathan raises his brow at him but Steve ignores him. “And we can celebrate.”

“Cause that went so well last time.” Jonathan huffs out a laugh, and Steve grimaces, but then Steve just shrugs, offering half a smile. “Fine.” Jonathan sighs, rubbing his hand down over his face. “But on one condition.” Steve squints over at him. “I choose the music.”

“Deal.”

“You’re taking the kids to the arcade this weekend?” Jonathan asks, and Steve nods, a smile spreading over his face.

“They’re more like brats than anything. Sometimes Nancy would be running late because she was having problems with Holly or something, so I’d offer to take Mike home. Next thing I know I’m driving all the brats around. Kind of just stuck with it, you know. You can come if you want. Usually just hang around or listen to music in my car. Sometimes I play a few rounds with Dustin but then he’s throwing me out because I totally kick his ass.”

Jonathan snorts out a laugh. “Sure.”

“Oh.” Steve deflates. But then he whips his head around so fast that Jonathan thinks he looks like a cartoon character. “Oh! Great!”

He thinks briefly of Billy and his tired eyes and his labored breath. Of his smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes. He hadn’t seen much of Billy at school. And with Steve being here, he wasn’t sure if Billy and Steve were back on good terms. “Will Billy be there?” he asks, more curious than anything.

“Don’t worry about it.” Steve says, but something in Steve’s face says otherwise.

--

“My brother took that on our first day of school. Though I realize now he’s not the best photographer.”

“Maybe I can show him.” The words tumble out of his mouth before he can stop them. And Jonathan really wishes he hadn’t said anything because Nancy’s eyes light up, her whole body practically shaking with excitement.

“You’re a photographer!?”

And Jonathan shrugs It’s my life. Like this isn’t the only thing that’s keeping him sane. That all the pictures he has stored away in a ratty box underneath his bed mean nothing.

“You should come work for us at the school newspaper. The photographer we have now is great and all but he’s been out sick for the past two weeks. And homecoming week is coming up soon. So, we’re kind of in dire need of a new photographer. What’d you say?”

He wants so badly to say yes. But there’s still that doubt. That fear. That the other students won’t be as welcoming as Nancy. They’ll tease. And poke fun until Jonathan has no other choice but to quit.

“I don’t know.”

[post-itpenny]

49 :3

Pinkie Promise

Progressing the storyline in the mafia Au, sorry how long this is.

Tagging @grotesquegabby because Billy and Ama are here.

Oof

It was in the morning that the news broke of a sixth victim being found. Body just as mutilated as the others.

Now it was evening, the streets not as crowded as usual as the city was on high alert. There was one figure that seemed to walk under the streetlights with confidence. The older woman wore a scarf over her head and a smile on her face as she carried a large tote bag of which a small dachshund rode in with a smile all his own.

Some smiled at the cute dog, most ignored both dog and owner. More than once the pair was stopped as someone asked to scratch the little dog’s ears. Finally they turned a corner down an alleyway. Shimmying up a fire escape and to a rooftop.

She picked a corner overlooking a conjunction of alleyways. A spot within the area the past several deaths had been and seemed idea for another victim. Magpie has done quite a bit homework.

She pulled the dog out of her bag along with a small stuffed toy and treats to entertain him. She scratched the dog’s ears and proceeded to pull out the different pieces of what was soon assembled as a sniper rifle.

“Now the boring part,” she chuckled as she scratched the dog’s ears again and settled in for what she was certain would be a long wait.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maggie was quiet. Not her usual quiet that came with intense listening to the world around her, but more of a withdrawn quiet. William could not help but notice the redhead’s fire had seemed to have gone out. No more snark, no sass, no sneaking out, no sliding down banisters when she thought he wasn’t looking (he knew and he wasn’t happy), if the bags under her eyes were a clue she wasn’t sleeping. But for someone who seemed to be operating on a low battery he had never seen her on such high alert. Jumping at any and every sound.

William wasn’t quite sure what had gotten into her, but then the news broke of a sixth body being found and he couldn’t help but notice how pale Maggie became.

Ah, that explains it. Time for a talk then.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Atlas sat on a bench outside the library, swinging his legs as they hung in the air, toes just barely touching the concrete.

He was currently reading “The Hound of the Baskervilles,” a part of him enjoyed pretending he was with Watson and Sherlock on the case. Solving crimes with their intellect alone. Would that make him a traitor to the family?

“Heya short-stack, what are we reading today?”

Atlas looked up as his cousin Juno sat down. Ruffling his hair with a grin. “Sherlock again?”

“Yeah, he’s cool.”

Juno smiled, “well he must be if you like reading him so much. I’m here to pick you up since your dad had work ok?”

Atlas nodded as he hopped off the bench, tucking the book into his backpack. The two of them walked down the street. Turning into a small cafe instead of walking home like he was supposed to.

“We’re visiting,” Juno explained with a wink as the two of them were seated in a private room away from everyone else.

Atlas looked around in confusion before the answer came in a tiny “yip!” As a woman with a dog in her bag came strolling into the room.

Atlas gave a shout of delight as he hopped off his chair and ran to give his Aunt Magpie a hug. Getting caught up in a torrent of dog kisses as he did so.

Magpie chuckled at the sight, “looks like Trouble likes you. You may hold him if you wish.”

“His name is Trouble?”

“First day with me he chewed up a set of shoelaces and the leg of a chair. Yes, his name is Trouble.”

Juno ordered drinks as they all sat down. She and Atlas having lemonade and cookies as Magpie had her tea, something Juno recalled her always being near religious about.

“Business first,” Magpie declared. “I had no luck last night but they also didn’t have any new targets. I plan to stake out the same area again.”

Juno nodded, knowing her aunt knew what she was doing. “From what we could gather someone staged a lockdown drill and used the confusion to make sure their cell doors were tampered with. Not unlocked but easy to break out of.”

“Enough to fool a guard then.”

“There were several cell doors with the same issue. About twelve attempted to break out and only two made it. Taking nine guards with them.”

Magpie frowned, a dread filling her stomach at Juno’s information. She knew the sisters were bloodthirsty but…”

“All the more reason to get rid of them,” she sighed.

“Is this why everyone calls Maggie crazy?” Atlas asked. “Because it’s her family you’re talking about right? They wouldn’t hurt their family would they?”

The two women cringed, how could they tell him the truth?

Juno tried first, “well Maggie lived with us because they hurt their family. So yes they would hurt her.”

“Is Maggie crazy too?”

Magpie took hold of Atlas’ hand, being so heavily reminded this was a child in a world children shouldn’t be in. “Do you think she’s crazy?”

“No.”

“I don’t believe so either, I think she’s… rambunctious and definitely stubborn. But she would never hurt the people she’s supposed to care about. She would however do whatever she could to take care of them.”

With this the conversation ended, the three sitting in silence for a moment save for the slight snoring of the dog in Atlas’ lap. It was this that made them all giggle, a lighter conversation starting after.

“So has your brother gotten anywhere with that one boy?” Magpie casually asked, Juno grinning in response.

“Don’t think so, he’s been weird lately about it. Avoids the topic like the plague”

Atlas took a sip of lemonade, “maybe they hooked up.”

Both women choked on their drinks.

“A-Atlas!” Magpie coughed. “Where did you learn that?”

“Juno.”

There was silence then. If looks could kill, Juno would have been dead on the floor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a knock on William’s office door.

“Enter,” he called knowing fully well who it was.

Maggie slipped through the cracked open door, watching her boss with uncertainty. “You wanted to see me?”

William nodded with a hand extended to the chair in front of his desk. “Please have a seat.”

Maggie arched an eyebrow, of course she caught the change in his tone. Not his usual “everyone listen to me” tone but calmer. Naturally she didn’t trust it.

William rolled his eyes, sensing her uncertainty. “You’re not fired, I just need to speak with you, sit.”

“Speak about what then?” Maggie asked as she sat down.

William sat down as well with a sigh, “well…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Magpie hugged her niece and nephew goodbye as they left the cafe.

“The next time you meet with that little D’Vitt girl and her brothers be sure to be polite.” Magpie instructed Atlas, “you would do well with friends your age.”

Atlas nodded, “are you gonna be ok? You have to stay out all night again?”

Magpie nodded as she knelt down with her pinky extended. “I used to make pinky promises with Maggie when she was your age. I never once broke one.”

Atlas nodded, locking pinkies with his aunt with a smile.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So you are getting rid of me then.”

“No, no. I’m suggesting you take a vacation. I’ve already put too much money into you already to just toss you out.”

Maggie rolled her eyes, “I’m so relieved to know you value your employees as people. Truly, your kindness knows no bounds.”

The corner of Williams’s mouth twitched, there she was.

“Maggie dear you’re not well. I’ve read your file and I know why this is getting to you.”

Maggie turned away, pulling her boa tighter around her.

“I’m not criticizing you.” William insisted, “but you haven’t been sleeping, you’re not functioning at work. You shouldn’t have left the manor but what’s done is done.”

“I’ve been perfectly behaved-“

“Sliding down the banisters.”

“You can’t lie and say you’ve at least never wanted to do that.”

“Sneaking into the kitchens at three in the morning.”

“I was hungry.”

“You tried to have a Gila monster mailed here.”

“To surprise you! But I haven’t done anything lately, I’ve been perfectly behaved.”

“Maggie,” William sighed, “yes you have but you’re not yourself. A vacation wouldn’t hurt.”

“But what if-“

“Believe me I’m half tempted to go after your sisters myself-“

“No!”

William arched an eyebrow in surprise, Maggie turning bright red but holding her ground. “You’ve read files but you don’t know. You could shoot at them and they think it’s funny.”

“The Blackwood’s former hitwoman is out there.”

“And I hate that she is. You know if you send me away I’ll just be coming right back.”

“Then what do you want?”

“Let me just work, send me out all… all be fine.”

William arched an eyebrow, “if you’re at work I cannot guarantee your safety. What would happen if you’re caught out alone at night?”

Maggie turned pale, seeming to shrink a little in her chair.

Williams’s eyes light up, an idea popping into his head. “You want a job then? I’m certain Pierre would enjoy a break so why don’t you watch over Amaranthus for the rest of the day?”

“... you want me to babysit?”

“You do well with her, and my Angel is so well mannered.”

“Yeah, so what are you gonna do when she’s a teenager and wanting outside?”

“Don’t change the subject.”

“You’re avoiding the question.”

“It’s this or I’m sending you to Siberia.”

“Right! Got it! Ok!” Maggie shouted as she walked backwards out of the room pointing finger guns at her boss. “Yes sir! Your honor, your majesty! Big boss man! He whom I am blessed to share the same breathing space with!”

She continued on as she walked backwards out of the room. William wondering if having the old Maggie back was worth the headache he now had.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Magpie was set back up on the roof with her dog Trouble at her side. She was worried, worried about Juno who was following a lead tonight in enemy territory. Worried about Atlas who was more and more exposed to a world that was so unkind to children.

Magpie remembered the first night a small Maggie stayed with her. Being woken up constantly by the poor child screaming at night terrors. Acting near feral in her distrust of the world and need to survive. Magpie read the files but she knew she never could fully understand that certain kind of evil that could destroy a childhood so thoroughly.

But she could get rid of that evil for good.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You’re grumpy.”

Maggie looked up at the small child with angel wings that was standing over her. They were in Amaranthus’ room playing tea party at the child-sized table. Maggie with her knees to her chest frowning at a small tea cup.

“I am grumpy, but I’m allowed to be grumpy. I’m not having the best week.”

Amaranthus nodded, “you need a nap.”

The way she looked as she gave the order looked so similar to her father it took all of Maggie’s power to not laugh.

“Fine,” Maggie finally decided. Rolling out of the chair and onto the plush carpet. “I’ll nap here.”

“But that’s the floor.”

“Yup, want to take a nap too?”

Amaranthus paused before electing to curl up in an enormous pile of plushies with Mune the cat doing the same.

“Um,” Ama began, “after the nap we can play princesses some more right?”

Maggie smiled as she held up her hand with a pinky extended. “Pinky promise.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was movement below Magpie’s perch.

They came dragging a man beaten and bloody but still alive down the alley.

Magpie observed as they chartered in hushed whispers. Noting how the way Zilla walked seemed so much like Maggie when she was moving for quick stealth. The way Faline’s smile was like a larger- twisted version of her baby sister’s.

They had gotten ahold of a rusty set of butcher knives. No doubt having been scavenged from some dumpster.

They stood over their victim arguing over who got to stab first.

There was a wizzing sound as something bit into Faline’s shoulder. Causing the large redhead to stand up screaming.

Magpie lined up another shot before something went wizzing by her head. A rusty knife.

Wow, what an arm.

Magpie ducked, pulling Trouble close to her side, the sound of the sisters cackling below in the alley.

Another knife came wizzing by as she quickly sat up again and fired off a shot, the silencer working its magic.

This shot snagged a dancing Zilla in the hip. The mad woman flinching in pain but giggling as she and her sister took off. The injured man scrambling to his feet and running in the opposite direction.

Magpie cursed and she pulled a handgun from her bag and scrambled down the fire escape. Trouble at her heels.

Magpie reaches the alley with gun drawn and ready, following the blood splatter on the ground till at last she found her target.

They were waiting for her.

Faline has the same hair as Maggie, but it was longer and matted. Her smile too wide to be natural. Zilla was tall with dark hair, her eyes held a hollow look to them.

Magpie kept her distance, gun trained on Faline’s head.

There was a clicking sound behind her, a gun being cocked.

Magpie turned around in surprise, “you bastard.”

Outside the alley all was quiet, a car sitting quietly in the street with its engine humming. Inside the alleyway arguing could be heard. The sound of someone cackling.

Bang!

Bang!

Bang!

There was the screech of tires as the car peeled away, followed by a small dog running away crying in freight.

Something damp and red splashed on its fur.

[ifyoucouldholdme]

Never Have I Ever

Pairing: Stenbrough

Word Count: 3137

Read on AO3

Maybe partying this hard was not the wisest choice, but it had been one hell of a week for Stan. After surviving midterm exams, there was also a group project, an oral presentation, and several papers to turn in. As well as his schoolwork, Stan also found himself actively avoid Bill. This turned out to be more difficult than he had first thought since they lived on the same hall of the dorms. Bill hadn’t actually done anything to warrant such a silent treatment, but lately Stan noticed himself developing a strange fixation on his easy-going friend. Little things would catch his eye. Bill’s stardust freckled face. The way he gently bit his bottom lip when concentrating on his novel of the week. Over time, Stan had come to terms with his sexuality regarding his faith and his religious upbringing. That did not change the fact that falling for a straight boy—a straight best friend—was begging for heartbreak. These thoughts couldn’t bother him if he kept himself from constantly seeing Bill.

This is why the glass of Moscato he usually nursed at these Losers’ Club get-togethers tonight became three shots of tequila with a Sprite chaser. The giddy lightheadedness, although not a sensation he usually enjoyed, was miles better than worrying about grades or schoolboy fantasies.

“Stanley, there you are!” An exuberant Eddie appeared seemingly from nowhere. “How did you end up in the kitchen, silly?” Stan had no recollection of making his way to a cross legged perch on top of the kitchen counter, but given the shots and his lovestruck musings, that wasn’t surprising. Eddie just shook his head, giggling. He grabbed Stan’s wrist and dragged him away, “Come on, Stanny-Bird, stop nesting by yourself. We’re about to start a game in the living room.”

“Isn’t Richie supposed to be the one with the stupid nicknames?” Stan teased, finding his voice once again.

Eddie flustered a bit. “Yeah, I guess he’s rubbed off on me, hasn’t he?”

“That’s not all I’ve done to you, Spaghetti, my love,” a plastered Richie crooned from atop their surprisingly sturdy coffee table.

“Fuck off, Tozier,” Eddie retorted with a middle finger and a sloppy wink.

“Will do, babe. Now get in the circle. I want to get some new dirt on you guys.” The boys dropped into place with the others. Stan felt a wave of joy mixed with his drunkenness as he glanced around at the rest of his friends. Beverly and Ben had already squished themselves the sole recliner available. Mike lounged in front of the television, probably already to drunk to move. Bill had, fortunately for Stan, had to finish a research paper of his own, which is the only reason Stan had allowed himself any alcohol in the first place.

“The name of the game,” Richie belted, “is Never Have I Ever! We each take turns declaring something we’ve never done, if nobody cheats,” he shot a narrow glare at Beverly, “and all you dirty sluts that have done it must take a sip of whatever drink they choose. Got it?”

               “Shut up so we can get started,” Stan bossed louder than he anticipated. Richie eyed him with a curious gaze which made him tense a little. “Stan the Man! Eager beaver tonight. You’re usually the buzzkill in these things.”

               That’s only when Bill’s here. Richie’s expression took a more mischievous shape. Did I say that out loud? Thankfully, Richie either took mercy on Stan or didn’t actually hear anything, because he plopped into his own spot next to Eddie. “Who’s going first?”

               Bev leaned forward and almost toppled out of the chair. “I got one. Never have I ever snuck into someone else’s room after dark,” she slurred, sending a challenging smirk in Richie’s direction. He raised an eyebrow as he drank from his beer.

               “I see how it is, Marsh,” he replied. Eddie chuckled playfully at the thought of Richie and Beverly duking it out. “Oh, you think that’s funny?” his boyfriend said from under a mess of unkempt bangs. “Alright, then. Never have I ever belted along to Mamma Mia in the shower.”

               “Oh, you ass!” Eddie slapped his arm and took a drink. Across the circle, Ben tried to unsuccessfully hide his own raised glass. “See, at least Ben can appreciate some culture.”

               Stan watched the ensuing tickle fight, a drunken smile tinged with a touch of longing on his face, unaware of the knock at the door behind him. He loved his friends more than even his own family, but the teasing banter between the couples twisted his chest into a jumbled mess. Every affectionate touch only reminded him that he would never be held by the one boy that he dreamt of. That he would never feel Bill’s hands in his. That when his night terrors woke him in the darkness, he would be alone no matter how fervently he prayed otherwise. At least tonight there was no sign of Bill to make him feel even worse, and he had the tequila to make him feel better.

               “Give us a good one, Stanley. I’m getting bored over here,” Mike interrupted Stan’s pity party. He sputtered back to attention.

               “My turn already?”

               “Yeah, Eddie went to get the door, so you’re next,” Richie nudged him with a bony elbow. “Let’s have some scandals already!”

               Stan’s mind drifted and muddled too much to think intricately enough to find anything racy enough for a drunk Trashmouth, so he settled on the first thing his addled brain suggested. “Never have I ever been naked in front of somebody. Well, besides my parents, anyway.” Then again, maybe he could.

               “Well, damn,” Richie cawed, as he took another sip of his beer, along with all the other Losers. “I guess Stan the Man isn’t a man just yet. We’ll have to fix that soon, Virgin Stanny.” He gave Stan a salacious wink.

               “S-Stan’s a v-v-virgin?” came the familiar voice, giving Stan chills.

               Oh, no. No, no, no, no. He’s supposed to be busy tonight. Nevertheless, there stood Bill, cheeks as bright as the tuft of hair brushing the top of his brow. This monolith of Stan’s childhood had indeed arrived. He had tried so hard to avoid the other boy this week, and now he had to maneuver the evening through the haze of alcohol and lovestruck fantasies. Worst of all, because his stupid, unfiltered brain, his crush now knew he was completely inexperienced romantically. Shit.

               Mike and Beverly erupted in a cheer upon seeing Bill make his way to the open spot directly across the circle from Stan, because of course he would. “We’re playing Never Have I Ever and apparently already learning some new secrets,” she explained, giving Stan an overly exaggerated grin. The poor boy anxiously bit his lip and stared at Bill, waiting for any reaction. Bill’s eyes were planted on him in an almost melancholy stare.

               “I n-noticed,” he plainly stated.

               Stan knew he shouldn’t have hidden from Bill and understood that the other must feel confused and likely hurt. After all, his best friend had basically stopped talking to him for most of a week, all because Stan couldn’t handle falling in love with Bill when he knew that Bill couldn’t love him back. Did Stan truly love Bill beyond a silly infatuation? Gazing at the sullen boy across from him—his leader, his inspiration— he supposed he did in fact love Bill. He loved him with all he was, no matter what his father or the Torah condemned. No matter the pain of his unrequited attachment.

               “You guys skipped me?” Eddie exclaimed in only slightly exaggerated irritation. Richie tried to appease him with a giggly peck on the cheek but got an elbow in the ribs for his effort. “Aw, chillax, babe. You got up during your turn, and I’m impatient. I just wanna get to the dirty shit.”

               “You want dirty?” Eddie snipped, “Fine.” He turned into the circle in a theatrical fashion usually expected from his ham of a lover. “Never have I ever sucked a dick in a public restroom!” Everybody tried to muffle a cacophony of snickers as Richie’s face turned a deep crimson.

               “That is totally not fair, Eddie! You were there too.”

               “Yeah, but I just gave you a hand job.” He stuck out his tongue, satisfied and victorious.

               “M-maybe I should’ve w-waited a f-few more minutes b-before coming over.” All eyes turned to watch a still blushing Bill unashamedly took a drink of his freshly opened beer. Stan’s blood dropped to a freezing chill.

Eddie, intensely intoxicated, missed what was unsaid yet understood. “No, Billy, I said ‘sucked a dick’ not ‘gotten my dick sucked.’”

“I k-k-know.” Eddie stared quizzically at his reddening face. Everybody else was too dumbstruck to properly react. The up until now straight Bill Denbrough self-consciously lowered his gaze and muttered, “Y-you said you w-wanted s-s-secrets…”

 What. The. Fuck.

 Stan had finally been coming to terms with never having a romantic future with Bill—Straight Bill Denbrough—and now here’s the man of his dreams basically admitting he’s not entirely straight after all. This should have brought him an overabundance of excitement, instead it toppled the so carefully balanced platter of stress that had accumulated inside him all week long.

“Well,” Richie had finally regained his ability to form words again. “Hell yeah, Big Bill!” He half leapt, half scrambled over the coffee table to give Bill an uncoordinated high five. “That’s my boy!”

Why hadn’t Bill told Stan this? They never kept secrets from each other. Except for Stan’s feeling of course, but that was for good reason.

“So, are you like bi then?” Bev asked, the game mostly forgotten.

Did Bill not trust him? Or worse yet, did Bill know that Stan loved him and just pretended to like girls as some shitty way of letting him down without flat out rejecting him?

“N-no, I d-don’t think so. I mean, y-y-yeah, I’ve dated a few g-g-girls, but not really because I wanted t-to. You know what other p-people think about…well, about p-people like m-m-me.”

Bill’s eyes grew misty, but Stan was in too deep of a spiral to notice. On a normal day, he would’ve kept his cool. On a normal day, he would’ve given his polite smile until he returned to his room where he could violently sob in secret. Instead, tonight Stan had alcohol, and he had emotions, and he had to find out that the love of his life was gay by hearing him admit to fooling around with someone else during a freaking drinking game!

“What the actual fuck, Bill?!” Stan erupted. The others snapped their heads towards him, Bill uttering a startled, “W-w-what?”

“You’re gay?”

“I g-guess…is that a p-p-problem?”

Stan scoffed. “No. No problem at all. Let’s keep playing. I’ve got one. Never have I ever hidden a secret from my best friend.”

“Stan—”

“Drink, Bill.”

The confusion across his freckled face now melted into pained anger. “F-fine. Never have I ever avoided my b-best friend with no w-warning. D-d-drink, Stan.”

Stan was not about to let this argument turn on him, even if he knew he did not hold the moral high ground. “Never have I ever felt like I couldn’t trust my friends,” he roared.

“N-never have I ever been a j-judgmental asshole,” Bill fired back, equally outraged. Ben, ever the peacekeeper, tried to deescalate the situation. “Guys, let’s calm down before—”

It was out of Stan’s mouth before he could catch it. “Never have I ever shoved some guy’s dick down my throat!”

Bill gave not retort this time. He just quietly set his unfinished beer on the table. Immediately losing all the fire in his chest, Stan tried to take back his words. “Bill, I didn’t—”

“Stop.” No anger. No stutter. Bill was done. He rose quickly from his spot on the floor. “I think I s-should b-b-be g-going.”

“Bill…” Eddie trailed after him.

“T-thank you for inv-viting m-m-me Eddie. Every one of them caught sight of the tears that started to leak from his broken eyes.” Then he was out the door without another word.

Stan’s entire world swirled to a screeching, sobering halt. “Way to go, fuck up,” he whispered to himself, not caring anymore if someone heard, as his own sorrow trickled over his cheeks. “You lost him for good, now.” The shame overwhelmed him, and he buried his face in his arms. A gentle hand caressed his hunched back as a surprisingly sober voice washed over him. “Well, you definitely were an ass, just now, but you can’t lose Bill that easily.”

“Yeah, right, Bev,” he snapped through a hitch in his breathing.

“Stan, the only reason you’re not getting a major lecture right now is because we know. You don’t have to say it. We can see how much you love that boy.” Stan skeptically glanced at each of the Losers who now gathered around him, expecting faces full of anger and disgust. The looks of concern there instead fueled the rising guilt caught in his throat. “I’m sorry, guys,” he croaked in defeat.

“We don’t need an apology, Stan,” Eddie waved it off, “Just know that we love the shit out of you, no matter what stupid things to do.”

Richie, trying to be somewhat serious added, “I mean, look at the stupid shit I do every day, and I’m still here.”

“Bill cares about you just as much too. Probably more so,” Mike offered.

Stan let out a disbelieving laugh. “Yeah, right. He definitely hates me now.”

“Then go apologize,” Bev directed him, getting tired of his wallowing, “Go show him how you feel about him, ok?”

“What if he refuses to speak to me?”

Beverly flashed one of her patented warm-as-sunshine smiles. “I don’t think that’ll be a problem.”

 With quivering knees and a massive clump of dread in his stomach, Stan hesitantly knocked on the door to Bill’s dorm, prepared for the worst. The resounding thud bounced away down the lifeless hallway. Stan waited in excruciating silence, almost ready to leave and try again later, until he heard the muffled pattering of uneven footsteps. The door creaked open, revealing a disheveled looking Bill. He had already changed into a worn shirt and the hideous tie-dye slipper socks Richie bought for his secret Santa present this year. The redness around his eyes and the tissue crumpled in his fist, however, suggested that he had been crying instead of sleeping. The shock of such a distraught Bill almost triggered Stan into another guilt driven breakdown, but he blinked back his own tears, determined to say what he had come here to say.

“Stan,” Bill hoarsely spat in an unwelcome grumble.

“Hey, Bill,” Stan replied in his own terrified mumble. The air was empty and tight for a moment as neither boy knew how to continue. “I need to talk to you,” Stan blurted suddenly. Bills brow furrowed into a frustrated divot.

“I t-think you’ve s-said enough,” he dismissed as he started to close the door. Stan jumped forward, lodging himself between it and the frame.

“Please, just wait,” he pleaded, “I want to apologize. You were just trying to be yourself with us—” Bill’s eyes flickered anxiously to either side of them, scanning the hall. “Not here,” he snapped in a harsh whisper, hastily pulling Stan into his room. The door slammed shut, and he locked it behind them. “It’s n-not safe to talk ab-bout that stuff outside.” The light was off, and a blanket cascaded across the floor, confirming that Bill had indeed been having a breakdown of his own. The thought brought a lump to Stan’s throat. “I’m sorry about tonight,” he said, “I shouldn’t have—”

“No, you shouldn’t have.”

That hurt, but Stan knew he deserved such a blunt reaction. Bill was far from through, though. “Do you kn-know how long I’ve w-wanted to tell you guys? D-do you understand w-what it took for m-me to even tell m-m-myself? I hated m-myself for years. I tried to change. I tried to hook up with g-g-girls, but n-nothing worked.

“B-but things eventually g-got easier. The jokes and the s-slurs I hear from the rest of g-guys in c-class every day didn’t s-scare me as m-much. It was finally n-not the end of the w-world if I was…” His stance never faltered, but now Stan was fully aware of Bill’s reddened eyes and wet cheeks. “I w-wanted to t-tell you Stan, I p-p-promise. I f-finally decided that I had t-to, no m-matter how scared I was. B-but then you stopped t-talking to m-me, and when you s-saw me, you would r-r-run away f-from me. I thought you s-somehow found out on y-you own,” Bill rasped, losing his voice as a new stream of tears poured out. “B-but I never thought that y-you would be that d-d-d-disg-gusted—”

“Bill, you are anything but disgusting.” Stan’s heart couldn’t handle any more of Bill talking so honestly about how badly Stan had hurt him.

“I s-saw your f-f-face. Why else w-would you s-say that?”

“Because I was jealous!” Stan exploded. “All I want is for you to ask me out, or hold my hand, or hell, even just look at as something more than just your friend. God knows, I spend every night praying that you’ll notice me. But finally finding out that you’re gay by hearing about you having sex with somebody else? I’m not strong enough for that. I’m sorry.”

An eternity passed as they stood in the dark, both crying and staring at the floor. Stan wanted to leave, to avoid embarrassing them any further, but he also couldn’t bear to leave Bill alone in such an upset state once more.

“I wish it had been you.”

Stan thought he misheard. He looked up, but the boy in front of him still avoided eye contact. “It w-wasn’t a fun experience. I w-was so lonely, I f-found the first guy who was even remotely interested. When he w-was done, he just cleaned up and l-l-left.” He lifted his head, and whimpered as his voice finally broke, “I w-w-wish I could’ve been with someone I l-love. I w-wish it was you.”

Cautiously, Stan took Bill’s hand in his. The sobbing boy reciprocated the touch, clenching his fingers tightly in Stan’s firm grasp.

“I’m sorry, Bill. For what I said tonight, for avoiding you, and for not seeing how much pain you’ve been living with.” He felt the other’s pulse calming in the comforting connection, almost becoming one with his own.

“Stan,” Bill whispered, “d-does it ever g-get easier?” Stan, never releasing his grip, pulled them together, holding his best friend impossibly close. “Yeah, babe,” he cooed breathlessly into Bill’s neck. “It will.”

[runs-in-the-family]

Look Up

There are things that he remembers and things that he doesn’t. The latter makes the former harder to understand sometimes.

He doesn’t know when it’d become his signature. One curl. Open shirt. His mother’s pendant clinging to his chest. But when he looks at himself, he feels strong. Feels safe.

He can’t recall much of his sixth birthday except for two things. The first is his mom baking him a cake that looks like his teddy bear, Frank. He thinks it’s awesome. The kids at his birthday party, all of whom are just those few months older than he is, think it’s lame. He can tell, when they sing “Happy Birthday”, that they don’t mean it.

It’s minute but it’s the first time that the damaging concept of ‘being liked’ enters his mind.

The other thing he can remember from that day is the gift he receives from his uncle. Tony, his mother’s brother, is a lot of fun. He turns his music up high so that Billy can shout the wrong lyrics as loud as he wants. He always smells like cigarettes and Billy’s too young to understand sensory associations and why the foul odor that clings to his uncle’s clothes always makes him so happy.

Tony’s gift is a comic book. Billy has a good grip on reading, for his age anyway, but some of the words are tricky. Tony stays after the party and helps him read it. There’s a guy in red and blue with a big ‘S’ printed on his chest. He flies around and beats up bad guys. He’s strong. He’s awesome.

A few days later, Billy starts getting picked on because of the awesome cake his mom made. When he goes home, knees and elbows skinned from meeting the ground so many times, he tearfully leaves Frank next to the garbage can.

He looks at the comic book that Uncle Tony gave him, still unsure of some of the words, but entranced by the pictures.

The next three birthdays kind of blur into one another. He knows that one year his mom made a cake that looked like a basketball. He also knows that less and less kids arrived at his parties each year.

By the time he’s nine, he’s got a small library of Superman comic books going in his room. All of them are from Uncle Tony. His dad won’t buy them so Tony comes up with any excuse he can to give Billy a present. When he’s sick, when he does well in school.

One day, he finally admits to his uncle that some guys in his class give him a hard time. He does so with a bloody nose and Tony pretends to be surprised by the revelation. He’s told that some people are just assholes and hearing a grown up curse in front of him makes Billy feel a bit cooler. Tony buys him another Superman comic.

The other kids start growing faster than he does and it makes things worse. Suddenly, pushing him onto the ground and stealing his stuff isn’t enough. He gets punched, he gets kicked, they even try choking him once. The name calling really gets to him. It ranges in severity from ‘whimp’ to ‘shithead’ but when someone calls him ‘faggot’ for the first time, he’s a little confused. He knows that it’s bad because they’re calling him one but he doesn’t know what the word means.

He makes the mistake of asking his mom when he gets home.  

She calls the school. Then she calls Tony.

Billy’s uncle drives him a long way to reach a store that only sells comic books. He’s never seen anything like it. It’s the first time he finds out that some of the people who show up in Superman’s books have their own comics. Tony tells him that he can get four comic books if he wants. A guy at the store convinces him to get at least one that isn’t about Superman.

Tony drives slowly on their way back. He reminds Billy that some people are just assholes but he also says that that doesn’t mean he has to put up with it. He tells him about all the different ways a person can be strong and how just because he’s not as big as some of the guys at school doesn’t mean he isn’t tough. Billy half listens. More attention is focused on the cover of one of his new books. Classic Superman pose, pulling his shirt open to show off that bright ‘S’. Billy imagines that it works as a sign, to show how strong Superman is, and as a shield. It helps protect him.

When they get back home, Billy’s dad starts arguing with Tony. Billy’s mom sends him to his room and then follows a moment later. She shuts the door to muffle the yelling. She tells him that she loves him and that she’s sorry that he’s been having problems at school. She gives him a small medal. It has a picture on it that Billy can barely make out and the name “Christopher” is almost legible. She explains that “Christopher” will help to look after him but he doesn’t totally understand how.

He doesn’t see Tony anymore. His parents won’t mention him. He doesn’t get any new comics. “Christopher” doesn’t stop him from getting beaten up and called names.

Nobody shows up to his tenth birthday.

When he turns eleven, his mom is too sick to bake. He doesn’t have a party but, at his mother’s request, his dad buys a small cake from the grocery store. It doesn’t taste like hers.

A few months later, she passes away. It’s the first time in nearly two years that he sees Uncle Tony. His dad eventually agrees to let Billy go to the movies with his uncle.

Billy doesn’t get to go to the movies a lot. He has no idea what they are going to see. When he sees the poster, he smiles for the first time since his mom collapsed in the living room.

It’s been so long since he’s read his comics but seeing that bright ‘S’ shooting across the big screen is like a religious experience. The pictures in the books were one thing but he can’t describe what he feels watching that red cape billowing through the air. Billy doesn’t know anything about actors. When the credits start rolling and he sees the name “Christopher”, his chest feels like it’s about to collapse.

Tony tells him that they can stay sitting in the theatre as long as he wants, until he stops crying.

When his dad doesn’t want him around, Tony lets Billy stay at his place. He learns about lifting weights from Tony’s room mate, Dave, who says he’s still too young to lift but that he can watch and learn and do it when he’s older. Dave asks Billy to spot him and it makes Billy feel important.

During these visits, Tony lets Billy sleep in his bed and he says he’ll sleep on Dave’s floor. Deep down, Billy knows that the room he’s lying in is the spare of the two. He doesn’t say it. Doesn’t dwell on it.

Dave helps him with his homework and, one day, teaches him how to throw a punch. Tony gives Billy his first sip of beer but refuses to let him try a cigarette, warning him never to start.

One night, as he eats pizza with Tony and Dave, his dad shows up. He yells at Billy to get in the car and Billy complies without hesitation. He can hear yelling right up until he shuts the car door behind him. It’s a ten minute wait before his dad shows up in the car, red faced and out of breathe.

Billy is told he’s not allowed to visit his uncle again. His comics are dumped in the trash that night. 

A few days later, he comes home from school with a busted lip and a blackening eye. He’s reprimanded for not fighting back and it’s the first time his father calls him ‘faggot’.

Puberty hits Billy like a bitch when he’s fourteen. He grows up and bulks out. He gets two summer jobs and buys a basic set of weights.

When he shows up first day of freshman year, it takes a while for some kids to recognise him. When they do, a lot of them seem to have new memories of what good friends they were. No one hits him. No one calls him ‘faggot’.

He can feel the pendant hanging hidden under his shirt.

There are things that he remembers and things that he doesn’t. The latter makes the former harder to understand sometimes.

Billy doesn’t know why loud music and the smell of cigarettes make him feel safe. He doesn’t know why he always wants his hair to have that one curl hanging down onto his forehead. He doesn’t know why he never takes his pendant off. Not the real reasons.

It’s part of his skin now. Always there, like a bright ‘S’ blasted on his chest. It makes him feel strong. It makes him feel tough. It makes him feel safe.

If he’d let himself remember, he’d understand why.

[natasha-cole]

They Ain’t You Part 1

Rob Benedict x Reader

Series Summary: Rob’s got a reputation. He’s an actor, a rock star, and the ultimate bachelor. He’s also a ‘love ‘em and leave ‘em’ type of guy who takes pride in being single and being able to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants, with whomever he wants.

He quickly sets his sights on Jason’s childhood friend when she joins them on tour; much to Jason’s dismay. Reader is supposed to be another fun conquest for him; but, she is not at all what he expected.

Chapter Summary: Reader is invited to open for a Station Breaks show at the request of her good friend, Jason. When Jason catches on quickly to the fact that Rob is expressing interest in Reader, he warns her about Rob’s reputation and tells Rob that Reader is off-limits.

Warnings: gratuitous flirting, maybe some swearing, not much else

Word Count: 3804

Notes: This a 6 part miniseries that I’ve kinda had sitting around for quite a while, mostly because I’ve been working on 2 other series at one time. I’ve only gone back to edit this one here and there, and I realized that it’s done. I didn’t want to throw ANOTHER series out there when I’m already so bad at updating my other two, but whatever.

I though about posting it in it’s entirety, but I’m working on queuing it up instead to post one chapter a week (Saturdays).

It’s really similar to my usual stuff; you know, bars, flings, and complicated relationships. It’s got fluff, smut, but surprisingly lacking in angst. It’s Station Breaks centered; but I really only wrote Reader, Rob, Jason, and Billy in it. 

I’m just tagging my Forever Tags list; so if you don’t want to continue to be tagged, just let me know.

ENJOY!

“Jason!” You exclaimed as you approached your friend. He grinned at you, wrapping his arms around you to pull you in for a hug that ended with him lifting you off the ground as you giggled. It had been a long time since you had seen him, and he had called you earlier in the week to check in on you since you had just moved to L.A.

Tonight, you were at a local club, ready to perform for the first time since you had moved to the city. Jason’s phone call to you had been mostly to see if you’d be interested in opening for his band, The Station Breaks.

“It’s been too long,” he beamed as he put you back on the ground finally.

“It really has,” you agreed. “Thank you so much for letting me do this by the way. It’s not as easy as it looks to get gigs around here.”

“Are you kidding? You’re amazing and you’ll be getting even better gigs before you know it.”

“Thanks. But, I’m excited to see your band play. I have the album, it’s fantastic. You guys are great.”

“Thanks,” he replied. “Hey, you should come meet the guys. Although, I feel like I should warn you about Rob first…”

“Oh? I’m being warned before I even get the chance to meet him?”

“It’s just, you’re exactly his type and he sort of has a reputation,” Jason explained as you followed him. “Just- don’t be too surprised when he hits on you; and don’t fall for it.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you chuckled.

When you finally reached the green room of the club, you were greeted by a group of men, all who looked right up at you as you walked in.

“Hey guys,” Jason began, “this is Y/N, the girl I was telling you about. She’s opening for us and she’s fantastic.”

You waved shyly to the men, scanning the space as you were introduced to each of them. You tried hard to connect names with faces and you weren’t sure if you could keep up with all of this. Before Jason could introduce you to the last man, he was already standing up to approach you.

“Hey,” the man said as he smiled at you. He reached out a hand and you slowly took it, breath catching as he took a firm hold of it. “I’m Rob.”

“Y/N,” you responded. You could already feel your face heat up and you just hoped it wasn’t noticeable. Jason warned you about this guy, but he didn’t warn you about how attractive he was. He looked at you with bright blue eyes, crinkles forming in the corners as he smiled hard at you. That smile… you had never been so taken aback by someone’s smile before, but his was infectious.

“I’ve heard a little bit about you,” he said. “Apparently Jason is less of a gentleman than we all thought. He never told me that he had such a beautiful and talented childhood friend.”

“Oh, well, I don’t know about all of that. But, it has been a long time since we’ve seen each other.”

“Yeah, buddy,” Jason cut in, “there’s a reason I never mentioned her.”

“You trying to keep her all to yourself?” Rob asked, not taking his eyes off of you. You should have felt uncomfortable in the moment, but you were certainly already intrigued by him.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Jason pointed out. He made a point of grabbing Rob’s hand to remove the grip that he still had on yours.

“I didn’t say she was. Just wondering why you’ve neglected to mention her.”

“Because she’s off-limits,” he replied sternly.

“What do you mean?”

“You know damn well what I mean,” Jason replied as he held Rob’s stare.

Your eyes darted back and forth between the two men. This exchange wasn’t unusual. Jason had always been like a protective older brother to you, you had witnessed him telling guys to back off when it came to you on countless occasions. Even after all this time, nothing had changed. You couldn’t help but smile as you watched their exchange.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Rob argued.

“Okay, look,” you began, trying to ease the tension of the moment, “this whole alpha-male thing is flattering and all, but can you two stop? We’ve got a show to do.”

“Of course,” Jason smiled as he turned to you. “Your first L.A. show. It’s a big deal.”

“Thank you,” you said. “Now if you don’t mind, I’ve got to open for you guys.”

You turned to leave the room, already feeling the nerves start. It wasn’t the first time you’d ever performed in front of people, but it was a new city and it was your first time singing with Jason there in a long time. Also, you may have been slightly thrown off by Rob, who had caught your eye for some reason. If you weren’t mistaken, you might have caught his too. Jason’s words replayed in your mind though. Apparently Rob was a player and everyone knew it. Even this knowledge didn’t sway you from thinking about how attractive he was. It wasn’t beyond you to partake in exactly the same things that Jason was accusing Rob of. There had definitely been a few men that you had simply hooked up with just for the sake of doing it. You felt sort of bad that Jason was making such a big deal out of Rob being the same way with women.

However, Jason held you to very high standards and thought the world of you. He was practically your older brother, and you assumed that he couldn’t imagine you being anything but sweet and innocent. That wasn’t an image that you wanted to destroy in his mind.

You got yourself set up on stage, slinging your guitar over your body as you leaned into the microphone.

“Hi everyone. Thanks for coming out tonight. I’m Y/N and I’m opening for a little band called The Station Breaks.” You paused while the audience applauded. “So, I’ll make this set short and sweet so you can all hear who you really came here for.”

You took a moment to make sure you were still tuned and addressed the audience again.

You started to strum and went into your first song.

The entire time on stage, you gave it your all. You had a lot of people to try to impress tonight. First of all, there was the audience; and then there was Jason and his band. Jason had mentioned the possibility of working with you somehow, and you knew you had to show that you were good at what you did to earn that opportunity.

You played a short set of songs, feeling less nervous as the audience cheered after each one and gave you their attention during the set. You didn’t know what Jason was thinking, and you only noticed him and the guys standing in the back of the room, watching from afar.

When you finished your last song, you felt a weight lift off of you. Not only had you done really well and the audience agreed, it had been extremely cathartic to play these songs finally. Leaving home and moving to the city had been a huge and stressful step for you, and right now, you felt more at ease over the decision.

“Y/N!” Jason exclaimed as he pulled you in for another bear hug after you left the stage. “You are so good, you amaze me more and more with what you can do with that voice.”

“Thank you,” you giggled.

“Listen, we gotta go set up,” he continued, “but we are definitely talking about that set when the show is over.”

Jason squeezed your arm as he moved past you toward the stage. You stood there, smiling stupidly at how good you felt right now. You decided you needed a drink to come down from your high while you watched his band play. Before you could make your way to the bar, Rob had found you, passing over a drink to you with a smile.

“Do you drink beer?” He asked.

“I can handle that. Thank you.” You took the bottle from him and took a long sip as you eyed him. Yes, he was definitely good looking and you could really get used to looking at him now that Jason had finally introduced you.

“You were really great up there,” he said. “Jason never said that you had a voice like that.”

“Well, I think I surprised even him.”

“You write those songs?”

“I did. I even play my own guitar,” you joked.

“Wow, multi-talented.”

“Well, you too,” you replied. “Really, I’ve heard the album and I love it. You’ve really got a way with words.”

“As do you.”

“Don’t you have a set to get ready for?”

“Probably,” he replied as he stared off to the stage where the other guys were busy working. “I could just let them do it so I can talk to you longer.”

“I’m flattered, but I promise I’ll be here after.”

“Alright,” he chuckled. “We’ll talk after.”

You nodded as he looked at you for a moment. You saw him bite his lip before taking another drink of his beer and before you could speak again, he was heading to the stage. You found a seat at a table where you could watch from and you made yourself comfortable as the band started.

During the set, you had been smiling and singing along, swaying in your seat and generally amazed at how great they were live. It didn’t surprise you with Jason, you had known him for years, but the entire band held up well. You didn’t want to admit to yourself that maybe you had been watching Rob the entire time; entranced by his voice and the way he moved on stage. He was an emotional singer, and you felt that you understood him as a songwriter a little better now that you were watching him perform.

When the band wrapped up and bounded offstage, you waited for them as they were surrounded by fans asking for pictures. You smiled at how friendly they were and how they paid attention to each fan.

When the crowd died down, Jason made his way to you.

“Wow, you talk about me up there, but you guys are really good,” you said as he took a seat across from you.

“You enjoyed it?”

“Yeah,” you replied. “You and Rob sound great together. The entire band is amazing.”

“Well, I think we all had a really successful night.” Rob chimed in out of nowhere, standing next to you as Jason rolled his eyes at him.

“Yeah, we really did,” you agreed. You smirked at Jason, knowing full well that he didn’t like the idea of Rob talking to you. You on the other hand found it to be flattering to have the attention of this man, even if he might not have such a good reputation.

“Let’s celebrate,” Rob added. “We’ve also got business to discuss.”

“What business?” You asked.

“Nothing,” Jason assured you, “we just had some thoughts on a tour that we’ve got coming up.”

“You guys are going on tour? That’s exciting.”

“Yeah, just a short east coast thing. Actually, that’s why I asked you to come tonight. We’re looking for someone to take with us and I have to say, I think you impressed everyone.”

“You want me to tour with you?”

“Well, we gotta discuss it, but I think that’s the idea.”

Billy was in charge of getting everyone drinks as you and the band sat around the table together. Jason and Rob took turns explaining the tour that they had planned and what it would entail. It all seemed easy enough, and fun. You would go to New York to play a bunch of shows and that would be it. There were no long rehearsal schedules and the entire thing seemed pretty relaxed.

“We’re just always looking for someone new to add as an opener,” Rob explained. “And I think you’d fit right in. People will love you.”

“So, what do you think?” Jason asked.

“Are you kidding?” You laughed as you gained a moment to let it all sink in. “I think it sounds great.”

“So, you’d do it?” Rob asked.

“Hell yeah I’ll do it.”

“Perfect. We’ll get all the details sorted later, but welcome to the tour.”

You drank for some time with the guys, laughing and talking and getting to know them each better. Rob offered you a lot of his time, which you gladly accepted. You enjoyed talking to him and you liked looking at him.

“So, what brings you to L.A.?” Rob asked as the two of you sat next to each other, alone now as the other guys had wandered off.

“Uh, well. I guess just being able to play music. I wasn’t really having a lot of luck back home, figured something new would help. Why not L.A.?”

“Well, I’m glad you chose this city,” He replied with a sly smile.

“You are?” you asked with a grin. “Why would you be so glad? You don’t even know me.”

“No, but I could.”

“Just for the record, Jason told me to avoid you.” You pointed out. You were curious as to what Rob thought of that. You were also curious as to exactly what kind of player he was. Jason made a big deal out of it, you figured it must go beyond just the occasional hook-up with strangers at the bar.

“Now, why would he do that?” Rob replied. He smirked, not looking too surprised that Jason had possibly warned you about him.

“You know, I’m not really sure. You seem like a nice enough guy.”

Rob shrugged, still grinning at you as he continued to stare. “I’m all for the idea of you coming to that conclusion on your own.”

“I wonder if you say that to all the ladies, and I wonder what their conclusions of you are in the end.”

Rob looked as if he had definitely been caught. He chuckled and turned his eyes from you.

“Well, I wouldn’t suggest asking any of them.”

“I won’t. Jason seems to have enough to say about you anyway.”

“Yeah, some friend he turned out to be,” Rob smiled.

“He’s looking out for me. He always has. I think he warns me about every man who’s ever shown interest.”

“You think I’m interested?” He asked slyly.

“Oh, I know you are,” you replied confidently. “I know your type.”

“I could say the same for you.”

“So, you think you know my type?”

“Hmm,” he hummed. “I’m still trying to figure you out actually.”

“Relax, we’ve only just met.”

“You know, Jason talked about you tonight as if you’re this sweet and innocent girl from back home, and I see that when I look at you. But, why am I getting something different from you?”

“He really talks me up, doesn’t he,” you said as you internally cringed. You knew that the man had only good things to say about you, but even you were embarrassed at the way he seemed to describe you to his friends.

“You have no idea. By the way, he also has told me repeatedly to avoid you.”

“I’m assuming he’s telling us to avoid each other for very different reasons.”

“Yeah. Maybe I do have a reputation,” he smirked. “But something tells me that you might have a side to you that even Jason doesn’t know about.”

You smirked in return, pleased that Rob seemed to have caught on to you quickly. It wasn’t something that you threw out there. You enjoyed the idea of having a bit of mystery to yourself.

“Maybe you’re not wrong,” you flirted.

“Would it be too forward of me to say that I would really like to find out?”

“Trust me, you being forward is nothing that I can’t handle.”

“I think we need more drinks,” he said, his eyes never leaving yours.

“I agree.”

When Rob was at a safe distance from you, it didn’t surprise you when Jason approached. You had noticed his stares the entire time and were only waiting for the moment when he would cut into the nice conversation you were having with Rob. You appreciated that he had stayed out of it while the two of you flirted heavily back and forth, but you knew what was coming the second Jason joined you at the table now that Rob had stepped away.

“Y/N,” Jason began as he sat across from you. “If Rob gets out of line with you, just let me know.”

“I can handle myself. He’s fine.”

“He’s hitting on you a lot already, even though I told him not to.”

“He seems like the kind of guy who would do the exact opposite of what anyone tells him to do.”

“You’re not wrong about that,” he said as he stared off. “He’s just- not the nicest guy when it comes to women.”

“What do you mean? He’s been very nice to me.”

“Well, he’s being nice because he’s trying to get in your pants.”

You grinned at him, wondering if you should keep up with the innocent act or if you should tell him to back off.

“Relax, I can handle it. Besides, it’s kind of flattering. He’s cute.”

Jason frowned at you. “Don’t let the cute act fool you. He’s kind of a dick.”

“You talk about all your friends like that?”

“Only the ones who actually are like that.”

“I appreciate that even after all these years you still try to protect me. But I don’t think I need protection from him.”

“That’s because you don’t know him.”

“What if I said I’d like to get to know him?”

“Then I’ll just tell you to be careful,” he replied.

Before you could respond to his concerns, the two of you noticed that Rob was already headed back with drinks. You turned and smiled at Jason, giving him the look that you always gave to him when you wanted him to leave.

He took your hint and stood up.

“It’s great that you’re making friends with the guys so easily,” he continued. “But, just don’t let that one get too friendly. You’ll regret it.”

“Thanks, dad,” You said sarcastically as you watched him walk away finally.

You turned your attention back to Rob as he rejoined you.

“I’m not even gonna ask what that was all about,” he said as he nodded in Jason’s direction.

“You probably don’t want to know,” you insisted.

“I’m sure it was nothing that he hasn’t already said to my face.”

“So, how are the two of you such good friends when all he ever does is talk shit about you?”

“He generally just gives me a hard time,” Rob replied. “I gotta say, I think I’m pissing him off now that I’m interested in you.”

“So you are interested?” You asked, grinning slightly at him before taking a drink.

“Okay, so I am,” he shrugged. “But something tells me that you might be as well.”

“Or maybe I just like to make men think that I’m interested,” you answered playfully.

“You don’t strike me as the kind of girl who plays games.”

“You’ve got a lot to learn then.”

You considered heeding Jason’s warnings about this man. After all, it had been a long time since you had engaged in a fling. But even those warnings didn’t stop you from realizing that you were attracted to Rob right away. You knew he was flirting and everything in you told you to flirt right back. Although you thought you had given up that part of your life some time ago, you wondered if you could be willing to slip back into your old ways if it meant that Rob got to be your conquest. Something told you that he wouldn’t object to it.

You continued to drink and chat with Rob, realizing that you actually enjoyed his company. After you had your fill for the night and were slightly buzzed, you decided to head home. It was late and the guys didn't seem to be stopping any time soon. You excused yourself from another discussion with Rob, letting him know that you were done for the night. Instead of trying to talk you into staying, he politely offered walked you out.

When you made it outside, you said goodbye to him and turned to leave. You had maybe gotten a few feet away when he called after you.

“Hey, I know you're new to the city, so if you want, I can show you around sometime.”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” you said as you turned back to face him. His offer was no surprise, and perhaps you felt a hint of interest in taking him up on it, but you decided to see if you could still play the game the way you had in the past. You also wanted to know if Rob would be the kind of guy to play along.

“Okay, what exactly did Jason say about me?”

“Just that you’ve got a reputation. And, I should maybe stay away from you. That’s it.”

“Of course he did,” Rob laughed. “Look, I am actually a pretty nice guy.”

“I don’t doubt it,” you smiled.

“So… we can hang out soon. I can take you around the city, show you a good time.”

“A good time, huh?” You laughed. “Yeah, I bet you could.”

You were sure that you were making it obvious that you were considering. Not so much the idea of him showing you around; but it had been his last statement that drew you in. You regained your composure when you realized that you weren’t willing to give into this one so easily.

“I’ll see you in a few weeks,” you added as you turned your back to him and started walking.

You were intrigued by the man, and maybe very interested in him, but you also understood the type of guy that he was. Not one to let someone get the best of you, you felt it necessary to step up your own game and play hard to get. You generally went for guys who weren’t so forward and you enjoyed the ones who didn’t even see you coming. But, Rob was certainly a lot like you in more obvious ways. You also very much wanted to know if you could play the game with someone who seemed to be your equal on the field. This one could be fun.

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[madharringrove]

Part 3: (By Lys) (part A of part 3)

Amanda’s POV:

Mondays, everyone’s favorite day of the week. I groaned lowly as I pulled into my usual parking spot, next to Alex’s car where she was leaning against with a cigarette between her lips. Breakfast of champions. After what happened on Friday, Steve and I bumped into each other a couple times during the weekend but nothing that big considering he was with the middle schoolers. I would wave from afar and see him wave back the kids’ neck snap in my direction and then look back at Steve. Nothing out of the ordinary.

I turned off my car and got out pulling my back along with me and standing next to Alex who offered me the pack of cigarettes. I pulled one out and lit it with her lighter, she glanced at me and then kept looking around, slowly letting the smoke out of her lips.

“All hail the queens!”

“God, I hate him.” I said as I rolled my eyes at the sight of Tommy H. and Carol walking in our direction. By standers raised their arms and cheered after those words left his lips. Tommy and Carol reached us and he wrapped his arms over our shoulders. I quickly got it off getting a weird look. “Don’t touch me, I’m not Carol so don’t put your hands all over me.”

“Watch it, bi--” Carol began to say but Alex quickly interrupted.

“The only threats here are ours so be kind to humanity and shut the fuck up.” Alex snapped pushing Tommy’s arm off her and stepping closer to Carol, who backed up. One of my favorite things from Alex has always been how she can go from party mode to being one intimidating motherfucker. “So, how about you leave?”

“Bitch...” Carol mumbled as she pulled Tommy away from her. When they were far enough I turned around and faced Alex and we both started laughing. Jonathan’s car pulled into the empty spot next to my car and him and Nancy got out and cheerfully greeted us.

“Was that Carol and Tommy H. who you guys were talking to?” Nancy asked as she raised an eyebrow while I rolled my eyes and nodded.

“Keg stand Queens, remember?” I asked jokingly and she nodded while laughing. Jonathan wrapped an arm over her shoulders while all four of us talked. Steve’s car pulled into an empty spot far from us and he got out, his face looking a lot better than Friday, and walked straight into the main building. I glanced around to see if anyone saw but they were all too focused in their conversations to notice. I lightly shook my head and went back into the conversation until the warning bell rang and Nancy and Jonathan grabbed their thing while Alex and me dropped our almost finished cigarettes on the ground and stepped on them.

“Who would’ve thought...” Alex said with a side smirk making my eyes move along to what she was looking at to which wasn’t a shock that it was Billy. I sighed and walked beside her into the main building where Steve walked into earlier. “Us queens of Hawkins High.”

“If idiots like Hargrove and Harrington can reach this level of importance then so can we.” I laughed and pulled open the door, Alex slipping right in and walking to her class while I walked to mine.

There has been far more interesting Mondays than today. Everything seemed so quiet, quieter than usual if you ask me. Finally lunch came along, Alex and I walked into the cafeteria and grabbed some food and sat at an empty table waiting for Jonathan and Nancy who decided to hang out with us more often and maybe Steve. Alex started eating while I played around with my food taking small bites. The doors slammed open and Billy and his two little dogs walked after him with shit eating smirks pretending that they’re relevant. Alex’s gaze followed Billy while I did the same, his smirk widened when he realized we were both watching so I quickly looked away while Alex just glared with a loud groan. The two empty seats in front of us were now filled with Nancy and Jonathan who glanced at Billy because Alex and Billy were still watching each other.

“Are two done eye fucking?” I asked teasingly and just got elbowed as a result which made me huff quietly and keep eating. The seat next to me was then occupied by Steve who smiled at me and then looked at Alex and at Jonathan and Nancy. “Holy shit, Harrington that scratch was not there on Friday.” I said as I placed my fork down and shuffled to get a better look at the scratch on his arm.

“Oh, it’s fine, don’t worry.” He said and I opened my mouth to ask what happened but he beat me to it. “I was hanging out with the little shits and fell, its fine, really, don’t worry.”

“Aw look at you all worried for him,” Alex laughed as she smirked finally pulling her gaze from Billy. I kicked her in the shin making her drop what she was holding and place her hands over her now hurt area and groan. “Fucking bitch.”

“I love you, too.” I said jokingly and looked at Steve again who smiled widely. “Jesus, Billy kinda over did it on Friday...” I muttered as I gently ran my fingers over his bruise jaw. “At least it seems to be healing well.” I smiled and looked back to Jonathan and Nancy. Jonathan sipped his juice with a smile while Nancy stared at me with an arched brow and a wide smirk. I glared at her and stole the chocolate pudding from her tray.

“Hey! No!” She hissed, swatting my hand away and grabbing back the small cup. Everyone laughed at me pouting and Steve handed me his which I took with a smile and said thank you.

“Mother Steve to the rescue,” Alex said as she laughed and rested her head on her hand and watched him and then looked at me. “What’s with you and the kids, Harrington?”

“Nothing,” he shrugged and looked around the cafeteria. Alex raised a brow and started to sip on her drink while he still glanced around the cafeteria until he stopped, looking at Billy. “What’s with you and Hargrove?” He asked and Alex choked, quickly pulling the drink away from her mouth and coughing.

“Hey! Don’t kill my bitch, dickhead!” I laughed as I playfully punched his arm. He shrugged while Alex once again glared at Billy and then at Steve. She raised the plastic fork in a threatening way towards Steve but since I was sitting between it was mostly towards me. “Aye, aye, aye, aye, no. We’re not injuring no one today!”

“Could she really do--” Steve began to say but interrupted him by raising my hand and making him shut up.

“I’m trying to give more days of life, shut up.” I said while shaking my head with a small. Nancy and Jonathan both laughed and agreed with me. Hard to believe that when I got to Hawkins in middle school Nancy and I used to be good friends but we stopped talking for some reason but it’s good to be back to how we used to be. Steve and Jonathan were also close friends of mine but everyone started calling Jonathan a freak so he started shutting people out and hanging out more with his little brother, Will. Steve, in the other hand, he became friends with Tommy and Carol and started to become kind of a dick so we stopped talking but I knew that he’d come back around.

After lunch, all four of us stood up and went to our classes. Steve walking beside me since our last classes were together. The hallways were empty so it was pretty clear that we were late but too tired to care. The hallways were pretty big yet Steve walked pretty close to me and without a warning her wrapped his arm over my shoulders and glanced down at me. I looked at him with an arched brow and he just gave me a grin and kept walking to our class. Before reaching our class he slipped his arm off my shoulders and pulled open the door for me. I smiled and thanked him as I slipped into the class and apologized for both of us. The teacher didn’t care enough to say anything so he kept giving his lecture while Steve and I walked to our assigned seats. I pulled out my things and wrote down what was written on the board and tried to focus but my mind kept drifting off to anything else. After what felt like an eternity, class as finally over and I picked up my things and rushed out throwing the things I didn’t need in my locker and walking to my last class which was gym. I groaned as I realized Billy, Carol and Tommy were also in that class. I started to walk slower since I really didn’t want to go. The bright side was that Alex and Steve were also there but knowing those there made it annoying as hell. In front of the guys’ locker room stood Steve leaning against the wall still in his normal clothes.

“Not feeling this class either, huh?” He asked as he walked closer to me and I shook my head with honesty and giggled. “How about...” He began to say and walked closer to me, wrapping his arm over my shoulders again and walking towards the exit. “We skip it, we’re good students and I’ll be honest and say I kidnapped you if anything goes wrong, deal?”

“Sure, Harrington.” I laughed and he smiled as we walked to our cars. His BMW was parked a bit far from my Impala so he walked me to my car first and looked at it closely.

“Wow... This is actually a great car.” He said as he walked around it, his eyes examining every inch of it. I smiled as I unlocked the door and threw my backpack in the back seat.

“When you’re parents barely spend time with you, they attempt to buy your love with your dream car.” I sighed as I leaned against the side as he made his way back to me. “I think you’re familiar with the concept, or am I wrong?” He raised an eyebrow and moved closer to me, his face inches away from mine making my breathing hitch and a wide grin now spread over his lips. I don’t think he’s ever heard of the concept ‘personal space’... “You’re a little to close, Harrington.”

“And it bothers you, Williams?” He asked the grin still over his lips which I had the tendency to keep looking down at and then back at his eyes which showed every bit of fun. I cleared my throat and tried speaking but he placed his hands on each side on top of the car making me breathe with a bit of difficult. I shook my head and gently pushed him away earning a laugh and he leaned against Alex’s car and watched me closely. “Can’t seem to crack you.”

“Huh?”

“Well, somedays you look at me a lot and smile, other days you avoid my looks and keep your distance.” He said as he pulled his Ray Bans out of his pocket and put them on looking around. “On Friday you became a nurse and took care of me after Hargrove beat the shit out of me.”

“So you are accepting that he kicked your ass?”

“Not the point,” he said and looked back at me. “What are you so afraid of?”

“Nothing,” I replied crossing my arms over my chest. “And what’s with the interest?”

He smiled and shook his head and pulled his sunglasses off and put them on me, “like I said on Friday, you don’t fail to amaze me, Williams.” He opened my car door and moved his head as a sign to get in. “C’mon, we’re dropping this off at your place and then I’m taking you out for ice cream, sounds good?”

“Do I have to pay?”

“I said I was taking you out therefore everything’s on me,” he laughed and looked inside the car. “It’s nicer in the inside, Jesus.” He laughed and gently closed the door and walked over to his. I shook my head and turned on the car, pulling out and driving to the exit of the parking lot now waiting for him. I rested my elbow on the side of the door and my head on my hand feeling the sunglasses move over my face. I chuckled to myself as I realized I was still wearing them. He drove behind me and honked his horn making me lower the window and flip him off which he laughed at and honked again. I put the car in drive and drove to my house with Steve close behind me. The drive home was quick thanks to the music making the whole thing feel like it passed by in seconds. My fingers still tapped to the rhythm of the music as I turned off the car and pulled my backpack from the backseat and the keys from the ignition. Steve parked his car behind mine and got out and gently hit the top of his car. “Let’s go!”

“I’m coming, don’t cream your pants.” I rolled my eyes and got into his car. He got in and stared at me for a couple seconds before I talked again. “What? Do I have something interesting on my face for you to stare at, Harrington?”

“I say that.”

“What?”

“Don’t cream your pants,” he said with squinted eyes as if he were trying to understand something.

“Too bad so do I.” I pulled the seat belt over me, putting it on and looking at him again. He was still looking at me with squinted eyes making me snap my fingers in front of him, startling him. “Earth to Harrington! You offered me ice cream and I don’t see any ice cream here so let’s get moving!”

“Wow, you’re bossy.” He huffed and started to drive to the nearest ice cream shop.

Once we got there, he did as promised. He paid for everything and we sat outside on the hood of the car just looking around. School would be out in a couple of minutes so it wouldn’t draw much attention to two teenagers not in school. We talked about random things and I laughed at him because he doesn’t cease to amaze me with how much of an idiot he is. I got off the hood and started walking around the car to take a good look at it like he did with my car. His car was in perfect condition, he moved along to the trunk to get something and tried to avoid me seeing inside of it but I still got a glimpse of a bat with tons of nails on it. I gave him a weird look and he brushed it off as we kept talking until he checked his wristwatch.

“I gotta go pick up the little shits from their AV club and take them out to eat,” he said running his hand through his great hair. “Do you want me to take you home or do you want to meet them?”

“I want to see if you’re as good of a babysitter as you claim to be,” I snickered and got into the passenger seat while he got into the driver’s seat. He turned on the car and we were on our way to pick up the kids. He tapped his fingers at a certain rhythm while I looked out the window. Finally in front of the middle school, four boys waited for us. I already knew two of them, Mike and Will so when they got in they waved at me and said hello.

“What the hell, Steve?” The one with the cap said as he got in and looked at me. “Who is she?” He asked but it sounded a bit forced as if he already knew the answer.

“Dickheads this is Amanda,” he said and all of them glared at him making me laugh and Steve smile. “Amanda these are Dustin, Lucas, Mike and Will but I’m pretty sure you already know Mike and Will.”

“Hey Mandy,” Will said as he smiled and Mike shoved Dustin.

“Hey Will and nice to meet you two.” I said referring to Dustin and Lucas. Dustin quickly looked at me and then at Steve.

“Is she your girlfriend?” He asked and Steve almost stopped the whole car but kept driving calmly. “Because she can do better.”

“Shut up, shithead!”

“Does your better mean you? Because you’re lying to yourself.” Mike said in an ‘as a matter of fact’ tone making everyone, mainly Steve, laugh. I glanced at Dustin who pouted and glared at Mike.

“Honestly, if you were older I’d go for it but they’re better girls out there.” I smiled and Steve immediately looked at me with a raised brow. “What? You jealous, Harrington?”

“Of what?”

“Did you know he uses Farrah--”

“Hey! Hey! Hey! What did I tell you, Henderson?” Steve said as he slammed the brakes in a diner parking lot everyone moving forward but Lucas, Mike and Will seemed to be used to it since they seemed unbothered as they got out of the car. “I’m going to kill you.”

“The hell you are, Harrington!” I gasped and punched his arm. “This kid is a blessing, we’re protecting him from assholes like you!”

“I’m not an asshole!”

“I like her already.” Dustin smiled from the backseat making Steve turn around to face him.

“You’ve liked her for a--”

“Steve!”

“You’re so cruel to the boy,” I said shaking my head and getting out of the car. “C’mon Dustin! Order anything because Steve is paying.”

“Hell yeah!” Dustin said happily and ran inside with the others while I leaned down and looked at Steve with a grin.

“They’re the sweetest,” I smiled and held the door. “I’ll pay if you want, you already wasted money on me so don’t waste anymore on me being a bit of an asshole.”

“Don’t worry, I was still going to pay for their food and Dustin was still going to order the most expensive thing just to bother me.” He laughed. I laughed along with him and closed the door for him to go park the car while I walked into the diner taking a seat next to Will who sat along in the other side of the table while Dustin, Lucas and Mike sat next to each other shoving and hitting each other.

“So from where do you and Steve know each other?” Lucas asked as he shoved Dustin one last time. All four of them then looked at me waiting for the answer.

“We were friends in middle school, but we stopped talking when he became friends with Tommy and Carol.” I replied calmly, they all looked at each other and then at me while I glanced out the window seeing Steve get out of the car. “But shit happens and you get over stuff like that because eventually they’ll somehow come back.”

“Do you like him?” Will asked, my eyes snapped away from Steve to Will who had a small grin and then whined and held onto his leg. “Ouch...”

“Dustin, c’mon stop.” Lucas whispered so I couldn’t hear but they didn’t realize I did. I watched as Steve made his way closer to the door and I looked back at the kids.

“It’s complicated,” I muttered and they all looked at Steve as he made his way towards our booth and took the empty space next to me and looking at the kids.

“Did you dickheads interrogate her?”

“No!”

“Of course not!”

“Absolutely not!”

“We would never!”

“They asked basic stuff you ask people when you meet them, shithead.” I explained earning smiles from the kids. Steve glared at them but then stopped when he realized I was watching him. “You claim to be a great babysitter but all I see is emotional abuse, Harrington.”

“I don’t abuse them emotionally!”

“I honestly don’t know if my name is Dustin, shithead or dickhead.” Dustin pointed out and the other three kids nodded along with fake frowns.

“Your ass is grass, Henderson.” Steve scoffed making me nudge him with my elbow. He rolled his eyes and a waitress came close and everyone gave their orders. “You’re not getting anything?” Steve asked me and I shook my head lightly. “She’ll have a soda.” I rolled my eyes at him and he gave me the usual smile.

“Is she going to hang with us too?” Will asked and Steve immediately looked at me as if the answer were mine to say and actually, it was. I glanced at all the kids and nodded with a laugh.

“Can you take us to the arcade?” Mike asked and I didn’t wait for Steve to answer because I answered for him.

“Of course,” I smile earning a questioning look from Steve. “It’s not like you had plans tonight.”

“That’s true...” He mumbled and the kids started talking about D&D, their AV club and Steve just watched them with pure amusement. I could tell he didn’t understand a single thing they were talking about but for their sake he listened. All the undivided attention from Steve Harrington was in four middle schoolers... I rested my head on his shoulder as they all kept talking.

“Can we pick up Max?” Lucas asked and I glanced at him.

“Is that the red head related to Hargrove?” I asked and Steve nodded. His fingers tapped along to a rhythm on top of my thighs until I placed my hand next to his and he intertwined our fingers but we kept talking as if nothing was happening when our hands were intertwined and his thumb moving in a circular motion against my skin. “Poor kid has to live with that...”

“One time Steve and him fought and he almost killed Steve but Max stuck a syringe in his neck and he passed out!” Lucas rambled on and I pulled my head away from his shoulder and looked at him with concern.

“When the hell was that?” I asked and Steve just glanced at the kids and then back at me.

“Couple month ago...”

“Wait, was that the week you...” I said and cut myself off by remembering how fucked up Steve looked that week. I sighed and pulled my hand away from his and rested my face in both hands. “Will there be a day you stay out of trouble?”

“Doesn’t sound like me.”

“Maybe it should,” I sighed again and pulled my hands away, the kids looking at me with worry and Steve with an apologetic look. “Its fine, it was months ago so everything’s alright...”

The topic was dropped immediately as the kids decided to plan how they were going to try to beat Max’s record in Dig Dug while Steve once again held onto my hand trying to keep me calm or at least to forget that. Once the kids got the food, they started to eat it... Well, inhale it. I drank my soda calmly while Steve offered me some of his food and I shook my head and mumbled ‘No thank you.’ If I didn’t have an appetite before, I sure as hell don’t have it now. The kids quickly finished and stood up to run out to the car. I walked out with them while Steve paid for everything even though I once again offered to pay but his stubbornness is impressive. I was glad these kids are small enough to fit completely in the car so we could add Max. We all got in the car, Steve turning on the radio to tune out the loud and excited kids in the backseat. Lucas whispered most of the things he meant to say about Max which made me suspicious and lower the volume slowly so he wouldn’t notice. Steve gave me a questioning glance and I pointed at the kids with a head movement and he immediately understood and pretended that everything was alright.

“Why do I have the feeling Max is sneaking out?” I asked and all of them turned to me, Lucas’s eyes wide as plates and Mike nudging Dustin saying ‘I told you one would hear’ and Will just stared out the window. “As long as Hargrove isn’t on to us kidnapping his sister--”

“Step-sister.” Lucas corrected me and I raised an eyebrow and continued speaking.

“Like I was saying,” I started and looked at Steve. “As long as Hargrove isn’t on to us, we’re good. Alright?”

“Yeah!” All of them cheered. We reached the house and Lucas got out and jogged to a specific window while the other three looked at him.

“Whose car is that?” Dustin asked and both, Steve and I, turned around and were greeted by Alex’s red ’59 Jaguar XK150S Roadster. Steve immediately looked at me but I stared at the car and how Max and Lucas ran towards us.