#also that was so sweet when Stan was like 'I AM GOING TO BAT FOR MIKE CAMPBELL'S SONGS JFC' :')

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

I love during that interview when Stan is talking about playing piano/keyboard on a song (or songs, plural? I forget now, sorry) and he's like "Whenever I can even get in the area code of Benmont Tench, I'm happy" like UDEFHUILSHFSHFHUSF the mutual respect of my favorite bands' band members is and will always be my favorite thing. :')

[dairy-farmer]

Okay but a magical toy that pulls a green lantern "needs it most" routine? BRILLIANT. The chaos! The secrets! The PINING. And you KNOW I am, as always, trying to convert people to my Civilian!Tim Stan club~! It always causes so much more CHAOS when he's off the Bat Leash! So IMAGINE it:

Some uppity magic user. Trying to Make It In Gotham(tm). Realizing the HARD way that Bat-boot to the face is how Batman says hello. Panic flailing and shooting off every spell he knows. Landing none.

Throws THAT spell. The one he learned for his girlfriend but then she dumped him and he never got to use it. (Look he's PANICKING, okay?!) But he ALSO smashes it together with... something? He's not sure. He's trying and failing to dodge.

It HITS something.

Tim, on a roof. Trips over a bit of piping he doesn't see and gets hit. Oh no! But? Huh. He's fine? Sweet. Back to pictures then. The night concludes. But WAIT! This is an AU! Tim is a civilian! So who's ROBIN? Jason! Stressed as hell. B is being unreasonable and Damian's a Lil [redacted]. But what is THIS? Upon his bed? A fleshlight?

Real cute guys. Probably Dick's way of telling him to calm down. Or some creepy olive branch from B. Who knows. But he checks it out. And it feels AMAZING. Life like. He honestly gets engrossed, playing with it, exploring it. Wondering how it works. It even gets WET! It's a tight fit but he works it down onto to himself. Works loose and squelching. Oozing with he's lost COUNT of how many loads. It's the BEST.

It's the first night of Timmy's new night issues. Sometimes even DAY issues. Every night it's someone different. Some are super human fast. Some are so big he feels impaled. Sometimes they clearly aren't human. They slide in to him like they have every right to use him for their pleasure. To take and ram and fill him up then LEAVE. Oozing seed and twitching on the floor or on his bed or at school. Whenever THEY decide. And he has to hide it. Be the respectable Drake heir.

And the Cape community? Losing their damn minds! There is a toy. SOMEWHERE. THEIR toy, as far as they're concerned, and they CANT FIND IT. They NEED it back. It's the best stress relief of their LIFE. Someone TOOK it.

And of course, after the pounding of a life time by a Kryptonian. That poor stuffed hole flickers away to the next horny soul. Constantine. Who's like. "The fuck. This is attached to someone." He respectfully, caps it up, and brings it in. Cue mass glaring and cold sweating. What'cha got there john?

Well, some poor soul is LITERALLY getting fucked over... *continues reporting*

*dots connect in various heads*

Hysteria. What would their mother's say. Not even a drink first! They have SO many make up orgasms to give somebody. They have to find them! Before anyone ELSE! They are the ONLY one who would treat that pus- I mean, PERSON right!

And Tim? Prayers answered. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak, man. You think he can keep up with Earth's Finest? Let him die a little, okay?? Just... just pass out for a bit. Festive little coma. Oww his puss. Brutes. All of them brutes. When he finds out, he gonna demand to be ROMANCED. Get the GUCCI fan merch. Seduced! THE MOST pillow of pillow princesses! D:< Justice for Tim puss!

tim's poor pussy 🥺🥺🥺 tim's little baby no-longer-a-virgin puss has been put through the wringer, always getting fondled, fingered, licked, or fucked. he hasn't gotten a break longer than a few hours since it began. sometimes the cocks inside him keep going even after tim can feel their thick cum sitting inside him. the worst part about the toy (or rather the best part of it for people using it) is that all the cum released into it is absolutely pressed into tim.

tim spends most of his days getting sloppily wet and having cum pumped into him. by the time that it reaches constantine and they're able to reverse engineer both the magician and find the "victim" in all of this- tim is already several weeks pregnant 😱. all the heroes who have been fucking tim all have to come to terms with the fact that they MAY have knocked up this civilian👀👀👀

[captainofthetidesbreath]

would love to know your thoughts on the circle of needle and thread pcs please and thank you

Hello! Sorry I kept you waiting, but my thoughts on this wonderful circle follow! I didn't really speak at length or unpack a lot of it, but I wrote some broad strokes of what interests me about each of them.

I might unpack some of these things in future posts, but if you want to hear more about something specific I mentioned (or about a specific thing I didn't), please feel free to send more asks!

Nathaniel

I am well-known to be a Travis Stan On Main because he is into the same sorts of characters and archetypes and narratives and themes that I'm into. Nathaniel is no exception. I knew I was going to love him off the Q&A, and by God, do I love him.

I think there's something terrifying in how he often is so (endearingly) nervous and hapless yet commands absolute unthinking loyalty in Sean and Marion. But, I do love a character with an unexpected iron force of will underneath a more easily dismissed surface, and I'm always lucky Travis loves that too.

The Trapp family dynamics are absolutely BONKERS, and I've been turning over in my head the reveal that Nathaniel has lived his entire life in the shadow of not just an older brother, but an older brother who died when he was young—and he feels responsible for it. Truly blisteringly deep well to draw from here, and he's another example of how efficiently Travis can sketch a character and imbue them with a sense of deep and heavy history, a dense web of relationships, and a very present absence looming over them in so little time.

A classic Travis character. He's like what if Fjord was Cerrit.

Beatrix

I have to, unfortunately, admit that she is my least favorite of the circle. She is a solid character and well-executed in this episode, but unfortunately, she is of an archetype and is generally a type of character that I don't vibe with. (I had this same issue with Auggie—very well executed, just not my type.)

I am very interested in her place within this circle as the longest-serving among them, and I am very interested in the way she hovers over Jean and the old histories with Marion and Sean. I do also find that sort of distanced assessment of the three men and observation about having watched them go through flashbacks constantly; she is right that they, ultimately, need time, but her distanced tone teeters close to It Is What It Is and that's a fascinating, somewhat jaded perspective if so.

Sean

What a darling, violent boy. I love characters in this genre who take a shotgun or a baseball bat (literally, in this case) to supernatural creatures. Big energy of: "The horrors are incomprehensible? Buddy, I ain't interested in comprehending them. [cocks shotgun]"

His relationship with Nathaniel in particular is fascinatingly bonkers to me in the best way, and I think Sean's devotion to Nathaniel is wild in that like, even factoring in the war history, Nathaniel does not seem like a man Sean would normally respect—so this level of trust is quite evocative. The dead brothers throughline between them is going to drive me insane.

I'm so interested in leaning more about Sean's history during the war, especially because Sean is framed as that's all he has left. He is so stuck in that war that it's in his specialty, and I think there's a lot to explore in grappling with how important it is that Sean's brothers (apparently) died on the same mission Sean stopped being able to look at himself.

Jean

My girl! Like Nathaniel, I knew I was going to love her off the Q&A and, like Nathaniel, I very much do. I ADORE a character who is so tightly controlled they threaten to unravel at any moment. I love characters who seem cold and cool but care so much and is so full of warmth.

I'm also fascinated by the glimpse at her relationship with her father. There's also something very sweet and interesting in the way she dotes on Marion, and I'm definitely watching that relationship closely.

All in all, I wanna see her get her hands dirty, and she's started this chapter off with making a hard choice and I hope that she keeps struggling with them. It's very fun to watch a character who thinks they know the direction they going get all turned around. I am very excited to see this clear code she has further unravel across the chapter, and I love to watch a character with poise become undone.

Marion

As said, a sweet boy! He is so dear to me, and it tickles me that Luis comes onto the channel and immediately experiences The Visions. I'm really curious about the origin of this scar, and why the pointed plant imagery with the window and the patterned shirt and the promotional images. I also would love to know more about Marion's history during the war and what that breakdown at the end was about specifically.

I alluded to it above, but I find his relationship with Jean to be very endearing and I Am Looking while that develops. His relationship with Sean has some fascinating hesitation in it—the exchange about would you know if I was okay / would you tell me in particular—and I do have some thoughts about how interesting it is that it doesn't necessarily feel like Marion quite Gets Sean post-war even though they seemed very close pre-war. I also again find the intense loyalty Nathaniel inspires in him to be so well developed but also terrifying. Marion's is subtler than Sean's, but he is just as quick to listen to what Nathaniel commands, and I'm curious to see if we learn if there was a specific incident that earned it.

He is an enigma at the moment, but I love a haunted seer, and I'm so looking forward to it.

[gothcsz]

Hi Kat, just hopping in your inbox to gush about Thoroughfare 💓 I love the way you’ve crafted Paloma and Javi’s relationship since the beginning, makes my heart ache when I think about them sometimes 🥺 have to mention that Javi is so hot in this fic, I understand why Paloma’s fallen for him so hard 😮‍💨 also hard not to mention how sweet P is too – this is where my bi panic ensues, do I want to be her, him or between them? probably the latter 🫣

I’ve finally caught up with all the chapters and that cliff hanger in the last chapter – giiiirl I was on the edge of my seat! I can’t wait to see how it plays all plays out – especially with Romeo and Javi working together when they discover she’s been taken, they’ll hate it but they have a common goal – to save their girl 🥺

Also have to say Sloane is a nasty piece of work for everything she’s done when P’s been nothing but civil towards her – praying that karma does its thing and comes for her!

Keep up the good work, loving the way you’ve crafted the lore and story in this fic, it’s a real lesson in how to craft a story – can’t wait to read the next chapter 🩷

HI M!! OKAY I HAD TO REREAD THIS A MILLION TIMES BC I KEPT CRYING!!

they mean so much to me it's crazy so to know they have other stans out there?! we won so hard... ugh don't get me started on thoroughfare javi... going back to his southern roots as a texas boy in his cute jeans and cowboy boots and big belt buckles and and and...... horny at first sight, isn't that a trope? bc that's def what happened here JKHDSFDF

paloma my beloved... the hottest girl i've ever seen in my life i need her in ways that words simply cannot explain, however, i know i'd never be able to treat her as well as javi does so i suppose... i'll let him have her... for now.... the bi panic comment is so real, i need them to notice me from across the bar and dig my vibe

yeah that last chapter had my heart feeling SORE for days after, i'm not even kidding i honestly think it was bc it was so cute and hot and domestic in the beginning and then it ended like... that so... the whiplash was real asf and it's only going to get worse from here... i apologize in advance for what i'm about to put all of us through. javi and romeo you must put your petty drama aside to get her back! but also... paloma is the final girl in this story and in the wise words of the cheetah girls:

Don't wanna depend on no one else I’d rather rescue myself

i stan sloane in a i love evil women type of way but you're sooo right. guess that's just what happens when you befriend a cult member! that's how they get ya! they make you think you're besties then they sleep with your man then knock you out with your own baseball bat! don't worry, queenie here is def gona go out with a bang

thank you thank you thank you so much for reading and for taking the time out of your day to come yap about it here in my inbox 🥹 i work OVERTIME on thoroughfare bc i love their little world and their lore, yes, the horror lover in me thrives there and i'm actually so relieved that it's being received so well. i wasn't sure if people were into that but i've got myself some pretty fucking awesome readers who eat this shit up so like i am grateful for all of you, you're the reason my ass is still writing 🖤😌

[folklauerate]

I’m SO excited for Balmoral and Ben + Kate bonding and the ball, the yearning, etc. And Prince Gregory making an appearance? YES!

Also super excited for the Grucy one shot bc I love them so much.

Truly the Royals AU makes me so happy and I’ve adored every single fic in the universe. It’s a breath of fresh air to see my blorbos fall in love without a Mount Kilimanjaro worth of angst thus far. Obviously I know it’ll be there and I do love some angst but, idk, it’s just nice lol.

Anyway, I’m off to reread the latest chapter because it cracks me up, Charlie/Harry rights and Edwina meeting King Anthony when he’s naked lmao

Omg awww!! Thank you so much, what a sweet ask!! I hope you enjoy the Prince Greg moments in the next chapter, I’ll be thinking of you when writing them! :) I find it so funny that I get so many anon asks about the Grucy oneshot in the royals au—they’ve yet to show up in the fic and they’ve already got stans. Iconic!!!

I also am really enjoying writing these two falling in love without loads of angst 🥺 I think it has a lot to do with where they are in their lives when they meet? Theyre just both at the place where they can and want to fall in love, and they both find themselves presented with this person they’ve kinda been crushing on for ages, and let it happen! That being said, after a few chapters, we will definitely be getting some angst 😗✌🏼 like I’ve said before, this fic is not so much about them getting together, but what happens after they get together. Anthony is still King and I think they’re both wholly unprepared for what it’s going to be like for Kate to marry in and be a royal. There’s going to be huge reckonings for both of them as they struggle to find their purpose, settle into their roles, and Anthony finds himself frustrated with the muzzle he’s been forced to wear for his whole life.

But I digress!

Thanks for being onboard with Charlie/Harry right off the bat :,) they’re quite special to me and I can’t wait to unravel their story, along with Hugo’s, and BenHen’s :,) I hope you’ll all enjoy :,)

[rueluxprince]

Different taboo topics between English and Chinese fandoms

Because of course there is, different cultural context, different things people find abhorrent, and so one must take extra care not to go all “if you don’t also find the things I find disgusting, then you are being disgusting” when one is entering into a fandom that was not of your culture. *nudge* *nudge*

Case in point: Chinese fandom, does not really care if you ship incest, or underage. They really don’t give a shit. Yeah the shippers wouldn’t do it in real life, but if someone does an incest side-pairing in a fantasy webnovel the readers wouldn’t bat an eye. Like, Thor/Loki is still one of the biggest ships in Chinese pop culture today, while Thor is Patron God of Lesbians in the West with no prominent ship of his own. MCU!Peter Parker/Tony Stark is also pretty huge there, while in the West those two are kept strictly familial. And that’s not counting the literal thousands of Chinese webnovels with the specific trope of “old and wise master raises poor but cute disciple, disciple grows to want to top his master.”

Even when Jin Guangyao’s various crimes were revealed, the fact he accidentally married his biological half-sister had the smallest splash. His stans didn’t really care and proceeded to make a lot “Qin Su: I am his First and Proper Wife until my death! And you! Lan Xichen! Will forver remain his side piece!” crack fanfics. His antis mostly focused on his murders. No one really dragged him for that? It won him a lot of pity points actually? Whereas here there were a lot of Horrifed Gasping when that plot was revealed.

(Sidenote: incest ships depends also depends on the chemistry of the characters, like you would with any other ship. Jiang Cheng/Wei Wuxian is decently big in China, in the West not so much. But no one anywhere really pairs Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian together, or her and Jiang Cheng. The latter two ships is way too familial and filial to even be conceivably turned romantic.)

On the other hand, Chinese fandom does not take to polyamory or polygamy or even “I had previous relationships before I entered this one where the plot things started happening.” They do not like it. The ship must be exclusive and monogamous. One of them can have some previous relationships but the audience will hold that as a black mark against their soul forever onwards. Seriously. To the point where a character who had several previous romances is often used as a narrative shorthand to show how horrible a person they are.

Again: platonic 3zun, decently popular in China. Romantic polyamorous 3zun, does not exist, a blasphemy to even suggest it. You are either a Nieyao or a Xiyao or a Nielan. You are either Stony or Stucky or WinterIron, you pick a lane and you stick to it. No Chinese fan will ever suggest “just do a threesome.” Absolutely not. Inconceivable. They will send you puking emojis and “I’ll book a psychologist appointment for you” gifsets.

(Sidenote: legit. I watched this C-Drama called Love is Sweet in October and the love triangle follows this phenomenon almost exactly. There were solid foundations for the main girl to go with either the male lead or the second male lead or for the two men to come together. Good basis for a poly ship right? Well. I’ve found exactly one fanfiction that had those three be in a poly romance, and it’s on Ao3 and in English. Everywhere in Chinese? Three different monogamous ships producing their own fan edits and fanfictions, ignoring the other two completely. Seeing this unfold in real life is extremely trippy tbh.)

And I honestly have no idea how to dissect this. The closest explanation (read: bullshiting) I have is that fanworks and fandom activities and shipping are largely driven by women, and whom, unconsciously or otherwise, chose to back away from the deeply ingrained cultural harm their fandom taboos has historically wrought upon them.

Historically, in the West, it was socially acceptable or even encouraged for close cousins to marry (hello Hapsburg family, honestly all the European nobility. Also Darwin, he did that too). While in Ancient China it was never socially or even legally acceptable (you can’t marry your cousin if they are related to you in three generations. So if you share the same great-grandparent, no can do. And they would know. One does not mess with Ancient Chinese record keeping.)

Whereas in the West, Europe and North America, monogamy was largely the norm for marriage. The nuclear family is the staple. Husband and wife and not legally recognized mistress on the side if the husband is a bit of an asshole. In China, polygamy was the norm. Men could have as many concubines as they could afford, Qianlong Emperor had close to forty. There are also inheritance laws and ceremonial regulations and all manner of legal rules giving them legal status. And the wife would have to tough it out and bear it and be nice to them, or else they are labeled as “jealous” and “not a good wife” and that is enough grounds for a divorce.

And as the modern fandom is often a place where anti-culture scenarios and relationships are imagined and interrogated, it can be argued that fandoms from different cultures have different taboos because they grew as backlash to different historically oppressive cultural practices.

[the-kid-wants-coffee-black]

Okay so I finished TUA Season 3 today and none of my friends have yet so here is just, a ramble. Spoilers to follow of course.

- I mean right off the bat everything with Viktor’s coming out was perfect. It was realistic and given enough weight for, the fact it was an important moment for the character, without being a big flashy coming out arc. I loved all the siblings reactions - especially that Diego Luther Viktor moment of “Luther wants to throw you a big party so you feel loved”

- klaus. Klaus this season was everything I was missing from him last season - I loved last season don’t get me wrong but I had predicted a big Klaus powers arc that we didn’t get. Well we got it now baby. God I loved him. I do have to say that I was slightly sad we didn’t get a single Dave reference, and that we seem to have forgotten his substance abuse and the fact it was canonly to, keep ghosts at bay. Also not sure why the ghosts appeared so different in the Grave yard? Like the ghosts we have seen him see before look like normal people. But overall I loved his arc him suddenly finding himself alone for the first time since Ben died, trying to find purpose and just feeling really lost was done so well. It broke my heart how quickly he fell into trusting reggie like give the kid some ice cream and say one nice thing to him and he will, literally let you murder him. I had a sense he was being used and I was right damn it. I kinda wished he got a slightly bigger moment in the final with his powers but im so glad he got to be a key part of the solution. Also all the stuff with him and Ben was perfect Ugh my heart.

- dilf Diego was everything. I am, so mad that Stan wasn’t actually his kid but he was so adorable trying to be his father. I liked Lila last season but wasn’t totally sold on them as a couple but boy this season changed that. Giving me bisexual chaos couple energy I love it. Them calling each other sweetie etc whilst fighting in hotel Oblivion? Amazing. I also loved that we got a few little moments of Diego mammas boy Hargreaves his face seeing Grace again bless him. Also when he found out Stan wasn’t his and his stutter came out again Jesus I love Lila but man that was cruel.

- I honestly expected to hate Luther and Sloane’s relationship but honestly? It was kinda sweet. They are both just loveable idiot nerds it was cute. Luther in general has changed so much I am so glad he finally got to say his piece to reggie - even if he got stabbed immediately after.

Very happy Five got to get some sleep and get insanely drunk this season. And several outfits as well absolutely love to see it.

Allison. Look, idk if this is controversial but j kinda am here for her villain arc you know. Not in a sense of supporting it of course but just it kinda of, made sense to me. Again it’s something I had thought for season 2 before we knew any details about it - I had predicted klaus powers and Allison going off the rails without Claire. I have always find her power, terrifying, and as much as it’s horrible to see her use it against her siblings I think it was a fascinating look into how terrifying her power is. I have often thought the “I heard a rumour that you love me” we hear from her past was said to Luther, trapping him into loving her for years and years without maybe realising it. To me, this season confirms that.

I am really sad we didn’t get more of some of the sparrows, Jayme and Alphonso especially - also is it just me or Jayme definitely a lesbian? Yes? All in agreement?

That ending I just don’t know what to say really??? I’m both, scared and confused, but also excited. Like what the hell happens now? What the hell is with Ben on the train in the post credit scene?? Why did Ben stay but not Sloane?? Did Luther come back in his old body just because Tom couldn’t bare to put the Luther suit back on?? So many questions. Also I low key hate that klaus lost his tattoos he better get them back I swear.

I am a little disappointed that just as Klaus found his powers potential he, lost them? Like I really hope they get them back. And I don’t want a misfits situation no power swapping. I am concerned in the sense of I feel like this ending is the most blind I have felt about what could come next? But that’s also exciting so.

But yeah. Really really long ramble over.

[dykefever]

ok where to begin. This is a long one but I hope it's worth it?

1. I'm an embarrassingly huge stan and I've read all your stuff and I can quote some of them off the top of my head and my * husband * is vv familiar with you/your writing because I talk about it so much

2. I read the new Dorlene fic and it hit really hard because

3. I'm in my 30s and very happily married to a straight cis man, AND I just came out as bisexual

4. So I started writing my own "fic" with characters based on me/my husband to explore sexuality and identity, and also because I was an English/Theater major and haven't connected with that part of myself in so long and

5. I wrote my first lil femslash fic to explore my own sapphic desire for really the first time, and it was a really big deal to write and also nerve-wracking, like "am I doing * the gay * wrong?"

6. and literally a day or two after I finished, you posted Seasons in Desire

7. and it was, all of the yes. Right off the bat. The collarbones/shoulders. The staring. The nerves. The intimate friendship at the same time as wanting. But ESPECIALLY the role patriarchy plays in finding your way through desire and love and attraction. I didn't plan to include boys in my fic, but they just wrote themselves in ((ugh classic)) and in fact my characters' get-together arc is all wrapped up in the male gaze and expectation and comp het. And I high-key hated that at first. But I situated the fic in a specific time and place based on my real life, and I wanted to be honest about what lil 16-year-old me was really going through at the time. So seeing that same dynamic reflected in your piece, which is also very personal about your real experiences, was so validating and lovely and kind of empowering-- like, look at how amazing we are that we can find our way to love and desire women * despite * all the obstacles patriarchal society puts up to stop us.

So, yeah. Just, thank you for writing the Sapphic desire fic the fandom needs SO MUCH MORE of. And for inspiring me, personally, to get into writing and embracing my own identity.

xoxo Miss American Bi

hi hi !!!!! miss american bi, sorry this took a min to reply to but i wanted to have enough time to fully respond and i've been going back n reading this also because it has honestly moved me !

first off um hi to your husband!!! that is so sweet you talk about my writing to him and also the fact that you can quote my stuff oh my god!!! genuinely like in awe that you feel that way about my writing

and hello welcome to the community, figuring out your sexuality and such is tricky at the best of times and doing so while in a relationship is even harder!! i have some friends that have had a similar journey and just fuck yes for you! proud n happy for you<3

i've found writing about wlw/sapphics/lesbians to be a hugely validating experience and like this really beautiful exploratory thing to do with my desire and relationships so totally get you with writing out. i hope you continue to do so for yourself and find it continues to help :-) if you ever post anything i would love to read it !!

totally get you with male gaze n patriarchy making it's way into writing. it's unfortunately often a large part of queer women's experience when discovering their attraction to women. it has been for me at least and i wanted this story to be about discovery (dorcas finding herself to be lesbian rather than bi) (that's just straight up from my own experience lmao) and also how, especially in their early twenties, you can often be working through the complicated feelings of having attraction women (and not liking men in their case, although the role of the male gaze in queer women's desire is familiar for all of us!) while actually knowing and accepting this fact and living your life as a queer woman. i think stories can include this element of our experience while still completely centering the women and their relationship, which is what i was trying to do with seasons in desire! like, they are still working through their relationship with queerness but far more importantly, they want each other and love each other and will pursue and explore that <3

highlighting this also: look at how amazing we are that we can find our way to love and desire women * despite * all the obstacles patriarchal society puts up to stop us.

you're so right, it's fucking incredible!!!

completely honoured and floored by this message, that i inspired you to write n that this fic made you feel seen! keep writing n exploring yourself, i am cheering and whooping for you in embracing your bisexuality <3

p.s. re: collarbones and shoulders. always felt so frustrated how attraction to women is depicted generally in media. like queer desire is not rlly about these gendered body parts! it's so much more! wanted to write about that n how i feel regarding desire. just glad that resonated :-)

[laylajeffany]

Thank you for looking into it - I think that it's sweet that other people do care enough about AO3 authors they've never met to try and help problem solve. It's honestly just kind without defending someone in a way that just adds to the problem. Content scrapers, deliberately targeted - it's just...why. It's a HOBBY FOR ME, but a personality for other people, I guess.

Here is some absolutely long-winded discourse that NO ONE ASKED FOR coming up regarding what I think could be causing fans to act bat-shit crazy and possibly put a bot on the story of a person who has LITERALLY NEVER EVEN ENGAGED WITH THEM BEFORE (honestly guys I talk to like ten people in this fandom what the fuck).

One of the reasons I literally don't interact in this fandom almost at all/particularly consistently & regularly, outside of my horrible past experience in my last fandom, is how uncomfortable I am with the stan culture (and in this one, because of the incredible tag abuse - I just stay out of it so I don't have to see the bullshit/unrelated nonsense).

And yeah, I'm about to 'back in my day' the hell out of this conversation, but I have been a participant in online fandoms on and off since 2002 and watched things evolve and change to the point where it's not that I don't participate just because I'm older/out of touch with the youths, but because of how interaction of people within fandom has shifted so much that I generally don't find it fun to be a part of anymore. I've seen a lot of 'ship-wars' and plenty of fandom drama, but the toxicity in the modern fandom era feels so much more intense and I think it's for a variety of reasons. Our online fandoms always had fandom elders, but now that fandom is spreading across even more generations, it's likely that we can feel the changes that come with each new one that joins, and as those of us who have been around the block continue to get older, it's an ebb and flow of understanding of current interaction norms/culture and differing boundaries from incoming fans and remembering that maturity takes time. As Gen Alpha enters the chat all we can do is skibbity toilet ohio rizz them I guess. Nah, I work with these kids, they are so fucking cynical and hate disingenuous bullshit so much they are going to be a riot in fandom spaces.

Additionally, I think the increase of multi-platform fandoms has made it more intense as well. Most people I knew who participated in fandom didn't use modern-era 'social media' for fandom until later Twitter and Tumblr, really, like 2010ish era. Before that, you'd have ff.net and your big/main fandom message board that was attached to a specifically run fandom, dedicated sites managed by by BNFs that moderated content. Yes, that also caused some problems, but people weren't spread out across the internet. Sure, there were also AOL chat rooms and MSN spaces of smaller groups, too. But most people in this fandom likely have at least an AO3, Tumblr, twitter, Reddit, Discord, and more I probably don't even know about all just for fandom activity in addition to their personal/school/work accounts and other platforms. People also use these apps on mobile, all day - you're not waiting until it's your turn on the family computer in the basement to get online for an hour or two. It's in your pocket all day long.

I think that multi-platform usage on mobile at an instant have contributed to this incredibly intense stan culture that has morphed from fandom being hobby to fandom being personality. When you perceive something as a threat PERSONALLY, you react, fight-flight-freeze. Fanwars have always existed and persisted, but now we're talking five-generation cohorts and instant, on-demand access to things that provide intense amounts of dopamine. We've created an environment where it's very difficult for fandom to just be a fun hobby for most, and a potentially toxic/dangerous all-consuming part of someone's life for many.

If your fanwork (art, fic, edit, post, etc.,) isn't receiving the engagement that you crave/desire because this isn't just something you're doing for fun, you are doing it because it's a needs-based, dopamine-addicted part of your personality, you may feel personally victimized when someone else's fanwork receives more attention than yours. This could put you into the fight-flight-freeze state and make you act in ways that are completely inappropriate responses to the reality of the situation that just isn't a thing, but it feels like a huge deal to the people who have made fandom their life/personality. People develop parasocial relationships so fucking easily that the line between reality and internet is just gone, not even blurred. And it's not just here, it's not just Wednesday/Wenclair/fanfic. Chappell Roan is going to end up leaving music before we ever get another album I bet because of how out of control stan culture is, unless she's in some god-awful Kesha style contract that forces more out of her. Much as I can't stand her music, Taylor Swift's plane is tracked every time it takes off and the speculation on every fucking move she makes by PEOPLE WHO LIKE HER. I don't know a lot about K-Pop but I know people my own fucking age who have gone to South Korea JUST TO STAND OUTSIDE THE PRIMARY SCHOOL THAT THEIR FAVORITE POP STAR WENT TO. Stan culture is in just about every single space that pertains to any kind of media.

Honestly in this fandom that has absolutely nothing to do with me or my fic - what I find most egregious is the stan culture surrounding Jenna. People are so fucking creepy. Maybe it's because I like her and think she's a good actress, and she's a pretty girl, but I've never been attracted to people younger than me, so I don't get it, but either fucking way the way so many people (in the Wenclair tag as well) talk about her publicly makes me so fucking uncomfortable that I don't engage at all. I feel bad for her as she continues to rise in popularity and people continue to approach her in public and tag her in creepy shit online that she should never have to see, she's not going to be able to enjoy anything without security because people are such goddamn creeps with zero boundaries and intense parasocial relationships.

TL;DR - I don't know who would be targeting people's stories on AO3, but at least maybe this could be why. In the very least, it's why you almost never see or hear from me publicly unless I'm dropping a fic.

Private engagement is a WHOLE other issue due to history of individuals violating my boundaries, ALSO likely related to the above reasoning as people develop parasocial relationships with AO3 authors, too.

Reading laylajeffany's and boojangs' posts I couldn't help but be surprised, because my only knowledge of the whole "kudos bot/AO3 web crawler" mess was that it had been around for three years at least but was a relatively harmless nuisance.

But searching for info on what is happening to them and other authors, I find that for the last year or so there has been another bot and that it is being deliberately targeted at specific fandoms and authors to inflate and unbalance their Kudos counts and make them targets for harassment campaigns using accusations of self-promotion or other bullshit.

Apparently the theory is that it could be related to content scrappers trying to steal fanfics for their own purposes (?). What is the logic behind doing something that forces authors to make their content private and lock their stories, I don't understand. Alternatively, there are people who are just plain assholes and mean-spirited like that, who probably just want to cause harm/stress.

[parrishh]

about to write the world's longest post (a review? maybe?) because i don't know anyone else who has read mister impossible yet and if i do not write my thoughts down SOMEWHERE i will either combust or eat my own foot, probably (spoilers, obviously)

genuinely brokenhearted (and cried a lot) over ronan in this book. part of what i loved so much about cdth was the sense that ronan had at least made some progress in regards to his mental health, self-love, etc. and now we're seeing him in such a dark place again that it hurts to read. it was sad enough believing, for almost the entire book, that he was blindly idolizing bryde for this reason (declan's "ronan is a follower" speech in the cafe with carmen actually killed me), and i thought maggie was just going for the whole "unhappy people are more susceptible to cults" thing. but to find out that he MADE bryde? that he felt so alone and so hopeless that he dreamt THAT? this read like some sort of super-villain origin story. i know ronan believes he's doing the right thing, saving dreamers and dreams and all that, but at the core of it all he's really doing it because bryde told him to, and bryde only exists because ronan subconsciously hates his life so much he'll do whatever it takes to make himself a new one. that just makes me incredibly sad

uhhhhhhhh bad day for pynch stans. we didn't technically get the dreaded break up, but it feels like we did anyway. even the sweet moments (e.g. ronan's memory of adam's gloves) are immediately followed up by something sad (e.g. the memory not being enough to keep ronan from sticking with bryde) (also, fletcher tells the moderators that they're broken up, so does that mean adam told all his college friends he's single?) there are several moments in which ronan makes it very clear that he will (and does) prioritize what he's doing with bryde over his relationship with adam (hanging up on him at the end? what the fuck) and like, i'm definitely not saying his boyfriend should be the #1 most important thing in his life because that's not healthy, either, but the dude is clearly very unhappy & insecure in the relationship. i still think (hope?) that they'll get a happy ending because ronan definitely cares about adam deeply (not wanting bryde to say the word tamquam, keeping adam out of his dreamspace so he doesn't lose harvard, etc.) but things are looking pretty grim right now :/

adam loves ronan so much it makes me crazy. he could easily say "fuck this" after ronan doesn't speak to him for weeks, especially knowing that ronan's capable of reaching out because he still talks to declan and especially after being blocked from ronan's dreamspace, too. i would be pissed if i heard from my bf for the first time in weeks and found out he only called because he needed a place where he & the guy he ditched me for could crash. but adam still spends the free time i'm sure he doesn't actually have keeping tabs on ronan and reaching out to declan and pretty much doing everything in his power to help. and oh my god even after ronan hangs up on him we still see him scrying to try to get to him and i need to move on now before i scream (but first, declan lynch = #1 pynch stan??? the number of times he mentions adam when thinking about the things he wants ronan to keep safe, help me)

speaking of adam, i had to put the book down and take a lap after his first appearance. i cannot believe this boy is charging harvard kids for fake tarot readings and making hella cash off of it. KING. genuinely some fantastic adam content in this. i love that he talks to the gray man. i love that we are reminded that he's literally brilliant. but also, he makes me sad, too. when declan mentions how ronan is the ONE person who adam opens up to and how all of his harvard groupies are just "ducklings"........honey, i love you, please, please, please make some real friends

hennessy's pov also breaks my heart. it's maybe even worse to read than ronan's because she's fully aware of how unhappy she is and the bluntness of it slaps you across the face. the memory of her mom's painting was genuinely chilling (the lace pattern on the floor - was that how the Lace started? am i understanding that correctly?) and the fact that it was so dreadful she accidentally made a sweetmetal....poor hennessy :( also, the things she said to jordan, right after she made half a dozen real ass people crash their cars and didn't even bat an eye about it....yikes. i'm glad she teamed up with carmen and liliana, though. i love my team of wlw girlies (also really interesting that carmen/liliana believe the Lace is something out of hennessy's control while ronan/bryde believe it's something she can get rid of if she just tries hard enough. what the fuck is the Lace, it's driving me nuts)

CARLIANA KISS CARLIANA KISS CARLIANA KISS

jordan's pov!!!!!!! delicious, finally some good fucking food!!!!!!! i'm happy that she's starting to see herself as her own person, independent of hennessy, and the whole forgery/original work metaphor was really cool (her first original work being a portrait of declan 🥺🥺🥺) i loooooove her relationship with matthew and how she speaks to him and that they're able to connect with each other because they're both dreams. i love that she's able to make him feel more human

JORDECLAN KISS JORDECLAN KISS JORDECLAN KISS (but i'm even more hung up on declan just casually talking about MARRIAGE, oh my GOD)

declan my beloved....my sweet......absolutely obsessed with him saying "screw politics, i'm leaning into my crime side" and OBSESSED with him being happy for once. i know the other shoe did drop and now things are all messed up again but it was so nice to see him so content, at least for a little while. he needed a break (also was laughing my ass off at all of ronan's dream creatures just climbing onto his bed in the morning and his screaming and how matthew was so used to it he BRUSHED HIS TEETH before going to help. iconic)

matthew's pov was also really upsetting but 🥺him deciding he's tired of just being treated like a pet and that he deserves to have a future so he goes to sign himself up to finish high school 🥺

quick note but the whole sweetmetal thing is really interesting as a concept. loooooved the way maggie incorporated the gardner museum heist into the story

THE ENDING???? WHY THE FUCK IS JORDAN AWAKE. WHY THE FUCK IS RONAN STILL ASLEEP. WAS ADAM STILL IN THE MIDDLE OF SCRYING WHEN THE LEY LINE DISAPPEARED, AND, IF SO, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN FOR HIM. WHY ARE LITERALLY ALL THE MODERATORS DREAMS. WHAT IS HAPPENING

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

Badass || Bill Denbrough x Reader

Day 2 of Fictober

Pairing: Bill Denbrough x [gn] Reader

Requested: how about you do a bill x reader where the reader is a badass but still in the losers club???? just came up with it!!! btw love ya work and love ya!!!!

A//n: Aw thank you so much! That’s so sweet of you. Love you too darling, hope you like it 💛💛💛 and thanks for being so patient like the rest y'all 😘 [also i am in no way a badass so I’m sorry, I tried lol] edit: OKAY IM ACTUALLY SO PROUD OF THIS, HOLY CRAP?? And again, i finished and pressed saved draft 30 SECONDS before midnight, so fight me this counts lol i just had to set up the title and tags and stuff on my computer before posting. anyways, thanks for waiting for this request, i hope you enjoy this, like i said, im actually surprised at how proud of this one i am!

Fictober Prompt: “that’s the easy part”

Warnings: Blood

“ROCK WAR~!”

The next thing you knew, rocks were soaring across the stream straight for your head. Luckily for your skull, your reflexes were faster than you remembered and you managed to duck before a giant stone could knock you out.

And yet you still heard a thump?

You peek out from behind your arms, looking behind you to see Richie laying flat on his ass, his glasses askew. You winced before you caught sight of a giant rock near his foot and quickly made a grab for it.

Your glare stretches across the stream, settling on the leader of the bigoted pack. You kissed the rock as you met his eye, a devilish smirk stretching across your face as you wound up. Bowers was scrambling for ammo but you had already released. The rock found its target with a satisfying ‘thunk’ leaving Bowers on his ass clutching his bleeding nose. He pulls his hand away, gaping at the overwhelming amount of blood that had already painted his hand before locking eyes with you.

“KISS MY ASS, HENRY!” You hollered with a triumphant smile. “YOU TWISTED FUCK!”

“What the fuck?” Belch and Victor began scrambling back, looking around desperately for rocks of their own.

The Losers spared wide eyed glances your direction as they unleashed a storm of rocks on the now deeply unsettled Bowers gang. Bill was the only one who hesitated, his wide blue eyes frozen on you when you turned to give him a smirk. You had been looking for ammo and it seemed he had the perfect one. You cocked a brow, your devilish smirk still dominating your face as you gestured to the stone in his hand.

“You gonna use that, Billy Boy?”

You threw a few quick glances across the barrens making sure your weren’t gonna get hit. Luckily morale seemed to be growing scarce over there.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t completely gone.

“Ow,” Bill hissed, right hand clutching his left shoulder. “F-f-uck.”

Your head whipped around on your shoulders again to see Victor Criss’s upper lip twitching into a satisfied smile as he looked at Bill. You returned your attention to your boyfriend and the rock he held out for you.

“Let me,” you seethed.

You snatched the rock up, stomping forward with a wild glare in your eyes that was enough to intimidate the bleach blonde. Victor was already on his heels and running, but you weren’t letting him get away that easy. You threw with all your might and watched with pride as it soared through the air and hit him directly on the spine that was poking through his back. He cried out in pain as he fell to the ground, his chin meeting the very rock bed that fueled the fight.

“EAT SHIT,” You spit. “YOU LACKEY ASS FUCK!”

~~~~

“Turn it off!” Beverly cried. “TURN IT OFF!”

The projector in Bill’s garage had quickly turned into It’s stage as It put on a horrific display for you and the rest of your friends. What was just once pictures of Derry, suddenly turned into pictures of Bill’s family - you missed Georgie terribly, having grown so close with him the year before he died when you and Bill first got together. And now you were all staring death in the eyes as It manipulated the very air in the room around you. Every click of the projector put you on edge, the stroking effect and of course the child eating clown tormenting you all.

It was hard to process your own thoughts as they were quickly drowning in everyone’s screams and your own fears. You clutched Bill tightly to your side, your arms linked and your fingers stitched together. Everything was moving so incredibly fast it was near impossible to process until you realized you weren’t holding Bill’s hand anymore.

“Y-Y/n!” He cried, tugging at the back of your shirt before it slips from his grip. “Y/N!”

Mike had already unplugged the projector, that much you knew. But you were fucking desperate. You lunged for the projector, gripping it tightly as you held it high above your head. With a guttural scream, you threw it as hard as you possibly could into the cement floor. It broke instantly into several unidentifiable pieces, the room now completely dark and eerily silent.

Heaving, you finally look up to meet your friends faces. Each of them were gaping at you, an expression they seemed to always be wearing around you.

“Well,” you say finally. “I think it’s safe to say we found It.”

~~~~

“How hard is it,” you seethed, your voice growing in volume. “to NOT wander off? In a FUCKING HAUNTED HOUSE?!”

You took all your anger and fear out on the door Richie was being held in. Your elbows were practically glued to the surface while your fists and forearms repeatedly pounded on the door. First Eddie, now Richie. You swear, these idiots had to me smarter than this.

“Richie!” Bill joined your side, pounding on the door that had closed all on its own.

“RICHARD!” You pounded on the door again, your anger turning to pure fear that was now stinging your throat and eyes as tears began to well. “This is not fucking funny, open the goddamn door asshole!”

Your hand wraps around the doorknob again, and you shake the handle, jostling it around in hopes something will cave. When the door flew open, you didn’t know whether to chalk it up to luck, skill, or it was all still part of It’s torment but you didn’t care. Richie was alive, and tumbled into your and Bill’s grip.

“Richie!” You hugged the boy tightly, then pulled away with your signature glare. “WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING!?”

“N-n-no t-time,” Bill says, looking between you and Richie with determination in his eyes. “L-let’s get outta here.”

A muted thump answered before you could. You, Richie and Bill all looked to the source of the noise to see the moth-eaten mattress from earlier was now shifting by itself. It looked as if it was filled with jumping beans. A melon sized lump grew in the center before the fabric split to reveal the disheveled and muddied up head of your friend.

He smiles at your twisted expressions. “Wanna play loogie?”

Your reflexes are faster than your thought process and you run forward. Just as a strange black goo starts to spill from fake Eddie’s mouth, your leg was swinging through the air. Your left foot connected with the left side of his jaw, narrowly missing the sizzling black ink and Eddie’s head popped off his body as you put it across the room.

It sails through the air, his greasy hair catching several cobwebs as it spins. Specks of the goo go flying landing on the walls and ceiling before the small head collides with a disturbing ‘thunk’.

“What the fuck?!”

“Holy shit,”

Eddie’s head lands in the far corner of the room where it rolls back and forth on his right ear before settling. He was groaning as if all the spinning had made him dizzy. The ooze of black goo came out even faster as if he were ralphing, and it was now pooling across the floor and inching towards their feed.

“Oh, that’s fucking GROSS!” Richie looks quickly to you. “And now you made him angry!”

“At least I did something!”

“Guys,” Bill pleads. “C-come on,”

The pool of black tar is spreading fast and you and Richie don’t have to think twice to listen to Bill. You all turn on your heel, only to find three doors instead of one.

Very Scary, Scary, and Not Scary At All.

Not Scary At All was the winner, Bill and Richie quickly decide. And despite your protest that it was all clearly a trick and the doors were misnomers, they opened the Not Scary At All.

“Where’s My Shoe?”

The light was turned on to reveal the severed body of Betty Ripsom and you had promptly decided you had had more than enough.

“WHERE THE FUCK WERE HER LEGS?!” Richie cried.

“I’ve got a guess but I’m not sticking around to find out.” You growled.

You cast a glance behind you to see the tar had eaten up most of the floor, giving you little room to do what you wanted. Luckily, you didn’t need much. You took a few steps back and looked at the door in the center, your eyes settling deep into the crimson letters spelling “scary.” You were certainly glad you realized when you did that unlike the door that held Richie hostage, this one could easily be broken down from where you stood.

You sighed. “I have to do everything.”

~~~~

“WELCOME TO THE LOSERS CLUB, ASSHOLE!”

Richie’s bat swung through the air and knocked the clown back. Pennywise quickly recovered and lunged for the nearest target with a disgusting growl. You quickly scrambled for a weapon as Mike stepped up to bat. He threw the fence iron rod at the monster but it was stopped midair when It’s jaw unhinged and out came several charred arms holding it in place. More and more reached out from inside It’s throat and made a grab at Mike who was fighting back the force of all the arms.

You never happier to have been too slow to save your friend when you saw Stanley pick up one of several spare iron rods off the ground. With a brave determination, he launched forward with a fierce battle cry as his torch came down on the branch of arms that now recoiled, saving Mike. It stumbled back, the charred arms slinking back into its mouth and disappearing and Pennywise stumbles again when Richie kicks It forward and away from him. Unfortunately that brought It right to Stanley.

“Stan, watch out!” Bill cries from your side.

But it’s too late, It’s head had already changed to the same horribly contorted lady that had you had already found attacking your friend. Only this time it was still wearing It’s clown suit, and it was racing straight for Stan.

“Stan!” You cried, already running forward after him only to stop second later.

Yet again Stanley roared, striking the clown across the face with the most furious look you had ever seen on him. Despite the horrifying circumstances, you were quite proud. You quickly fell back into line, ready to fight with the others and you smiled yet again when Mike followed up Stan’s strike with a devastating blow of his own.

The small moment of victory was soon cut short - a pattern you were currently getting used to - when a pair of red tentacles-turned-crab-claws pulled Mike to the ground.

“Mike!” Eddie shrieked.

Mike was able to barrel roll to safety as as It advanced on him. The end of each gigantic claw striking the earth and narrowly missing him and you and your friends quickly followed not knowing what to do. You couldn’t watch it anymore, and you hated yourself for what you were about to do but you knew you would simply never forgive yourself if you lost Mike, or any of your friends.

For what Bill wished was the first time of the summer, he felt you leave his side as you charged headlong into danger. Another guttural scream left you as you hurled yourself onto It’s back, your iron spike in front of It’s neck, both hands on either side of the rod and you pulled as hard as you could.

Pennywise’s disturbing, maniacal laughter grew even scarier, something you didn’t think was possible as he began to suffocate. You let yourself drop back down to the ground, your grip still tight on your weapon as you used your position to pull It down to the ground. It was still laughing through chocked breathes but it had done what you hoped, and stopped, Mike had gotten to safety with the Losers.

And for one glorious moment you felt indestructible. Until you saw it shift before you’re very eyes and your eyes widened, as did the eyes of your friends and Bill. It’s complete figure changed, starting with It’s head. You and the Losers no longer saw a painted lady, a mummy, a horrible memory, an abusive father, or even a late little brother. But they saw you, their friend Y/n, cowering and crying under the iron rod that pinned you to the ground by the neck.

“Please,” It whimpered, bottom lip quivering horribly. “Please don’t. I don’t wanna die.”

The real you was staring at the sight of yourself, the real fake you that you always tried so hard to push down. You knew it was Pennywise, but it was enough to make you choke completely. You were always so confident, and you were good at sticking up for yourself and the rest of the Losers. At least that’s all they ever saw, that’s all you ever let them see. Deep down you were terrified, and much more than that you were terrified that your own fear would get in the way of protecting your loved ones.

Like now.

“Y/n?” Bill’s soft voice called out to you, breaking you from your spell.

You look down at your blubbering face, tears streaking down your cheeks as you begged yourself for mercy. Several pleas leaving your lips when finally you pulled the rod back. Your eyelids flicker open, gazing back up at you and watch your every move cowering.

“Y/n?” Ben asks.

You don’t answer, you just straighten, your demon double cowering beneath you and it only angers you more to know none of this is It’s own fear. It was yours. It was mocking you.

Which was pretty stupid, considering you still had the spike.

You bare your teeth as you summon your strength, throwing the end of the spike into the ground, going right through your throat.

~~~~

You watched with head on Bill’s shoulder as another drop of blood from your palm fell onto the grass. You were trying to think about anything but the pain, and with everything you had faced this summer, you certainly had the pick of the litter.

“It feels different now,” you say, voice quiet. “And not just cause It’s gone, ya know?”

You even hate to let yourself believe that, but for the sake of your sanity and the chance of every getting another night’s sleep you’d have to believe it. And knowing Bill as long as you did, you know he felt it too.

You pick your head up off his shoulder and look to his gaze break away from the hills in the distance to meet your eyes. For a moment he doesn’t say anything, and you know for sure he’s thinking it too. Beverly was leaving for Portland, Stan said he heard whispers from his parents that they might be moving and that was all on top of the heavy weight of your guys’ trauma that had already begun to drain everyone.

“A-a-at least we-we’ve got each o-other,”

You smiled, nudging his shoulder with your own.

“Big sap,” you chuckled.

He smiled a little, enjoying the small moment between the two of you. But it disappears when his mind returns to image that had been replaying in his mind nonstop since Neibolt. The image of your cowering form that bothered you so much. He had never seen you - the real you, that was being confronted, that is - so distraught. He gulps, gathering his strength.

“W-what made you s-see that?” He asks.

You don’t answer for a long moment, and Bill fears he’s upset you. Or confused you, but he doubts that is the case. Finally, you look up at him, and lick your lips nervously.

“I’m scared Bill,” you croaked, heart pounding wildly at the admission. “I’m always worrying about you, I’m always worrying about Richie, Mike, Eddie, Stanley, Bev, and Ben. I’m always worried something is going to happen. I’m always scared something’s gonna happen to the ones I love, and I get scared that I’m not gonna be enough to protect them.”

You take a deep breath, swallowing all the air you lost in your unintentional rant. Somewhere during your confession, your gaze broke away from Bill’s gaze and now here you were afraid to even look him in the eye.

There’s another silence that Bill finally ends after a small thoughtful moment.

“It’s okay to be scared, Y/n,” he says, pulling your eyes to him. “I-I-It’s part of being h-human.”

You bite the inside of your cheek, trying your best to banish the image of your cowardly form from your mind. Suddenly the sting of your cut didn’t hurt so bad.

You looked back into Bill’s soft eyes, and shrugged.

“I know, but it doesn’t make me feel too great either.”

He nudged you again with a charming smile.

“Well, y-you’re still a badass. Y-You’re always s-standing up for us,”

You chuckled weakly, sending him a smirk.

“That’s the easy part,” you say. “It’s looking out for myself that’s harder.”

“T-t-tell ya what?” You raise a brow at his sudden demeanor. “I’ll be t-the b-b-badass lookin out for you,”

You laughed, leaning in and giving him a lingering kiss that turned his cheeks absolutely scarlet.

You smiled when you saw this. “Thanks Billy Boy. Appreciate it. But I’d still like to work on myself a bit, ya know?”

He smiles again, this time triumphantly. “Deal.”

[rexeipts]

Monday morning rewatch thoughts:

I am in my feels, very angry at this episode.

Annie had little to no story so skipping her this time around.

Ruby & Stan:

- Stanimal trying to get the girls to strike was great, and I want to see him (not Beth) run the strip club so bad. I hope that is the storyline they take us down.

- Ruby and Stan once again are king and queen of communication. These two are such an excellent example of healthy and happy marriage.

- Ruby biting a lime at Stan’s replacement gave me life in the montage

Beth & Dean:

That’s who Beth gets paired with this week. Dean. Not Rio. Because that’s how mad I am at her.

- Dean on the bike ride scene was once again far too long and wasted precious screen time. I forced myself not to fast forward through that scene. And you know what I noticed? Dean literally compares being sexually assaulted in prison to being someone’s wife on a honeymoon and being forced to have a baby put inside you. Because that is how Dean sees his fucking wife and marriage. Literal other convicts sexually assaulting someone in prison is like them thinking you’re their wife on a honey moon. Let that fucking sink in. And no, I don’t think that was intentional characterization by the writers. That is just existing as a metaphor these writers chose to use while trying to continue a Dean redemption arc.

- Dean leaving the hot tub when the other guys were shitting on Beth for being a buzz kill was an attempt at showing “growth”. But it’s not. It’s fucking table stakes. See above mention of non consensual sex being like a wife.

- How Beth does not realize this is another of dean’s idiotic schemes and poor money decisions is beyond me.

- I am relieved only in that Beth looked upset after getting Rio arrested this time. Good. Be upset. You had a choice. I’m so mad at Beth right now. I’m honestly starting to think she deserves Dean.

- Beth, honestly you think Rio would hurt your kids? Then why turn him in? You’re so scared of him then why risk it? Choosing him would have meant protecting your kids if you look at it factually, he threatened your family if you turned him in. Like she’s just dumb at this point? The writers have characterized her as dumb. Did she conveniently forget season 1 when he got out? I mean for real? Do these writers even watch previous seasons?

- Beth being with Dean literally undermines all feminism about the show. I have said that before and will say it again. Dean is a cancer on this show’s fun. Pun intended.

- Beth uses her sweet housewife voice on Nick. Literally everyone but Rio. And she literally flirts with Nick. You’re literally married Beth. Divorce Dean before you flirt with yet another person.

Rio & Nick:

- Baby Rio looked like Rio I thought. Him drawing a boxer was heart breaking. Because he literally wanted that his entire life. The last flashback scene made it seem like he wanted it for money. Nick tells him he doesn’t need boxing because they have a way to get money now, but Rio literally wanted boxing from childhood. And Nick ripped that away from him. Nick gave him no choice. Not because he wanted him to learn a lesson, because he wanted to use him. Rio is Nick’s designated fall guy.

- Rio = good egg, Nick bad, better be fucking FORESHADOWING FOR RIO GETTING SOMETHING NICE FINALLY THIS SEASON. At least the writers told us that pretty openly.

- The champ champ champ now all makes sense

- Who is Rio’s coach and can we please have a cheesy storyline where the coach is the only one to ever be on his side

- What is he having them print for? The girls point it out like why does he need all of that?

- Him telling Beth he does need her? No he doesn’t. That was actually a very sweet line. The way he looked at her, he’s in love with her guys. Like his face said yes I need you because I can’t seem to give you up. He doesn’t need her for money. It’s unfortunate they chose to dirty it up with him threatening her family.

- Rio grows from the ashes. He is the designated fall guy who rises from the ashes to be untouchable. Hence Phoenix I guess. Sure.

- I actually like Nick being in the show. First because I’m mad at Beth. But mostly because he is the only character introducing a new dynamic. He is the only thing that’s not repetitive. The only fresh storyline. And he’s already making her talk about Rio. But also, would it fucking kill either of them to say the man’s damn name? But also I like the actor and think he’s pleasant to look at on screen, sue me.

- Oh look, Nick, another man telling Beth Rio is too dangerous for her when she LITERALLY SHOT HIM. Do you all REALIZE SHE IS NOT A DELICATE FUCKING LAMB.

- I am no longer convinced that Rio had a plan all this time, not after rewatching the car scene. It seems like Rio was ready to kill her, mostly because he doesn’t know another choice, and Nick pointed out the obvious. Unless Rio is playing Nick. But truth be told, Rio threatening her family was ooc. And I’m holding on to the fact that he said family, aka Dean Annie Ruby who he has threatened before, and she took it to mean kids. I’m also holding on to the fact that Rio puts on masks. He puts on cold gang banger mask, he tries to manipulate and find new ways to incentivize beth. If you look at it that way, as him trying to get her to choose him rather than a plot of trying to get her to turn him in, it’s heartbreaking. He is so desperate to get her to pick him he literally pulled out his final option. His only remaining incentive that he hasn’t tried on her. EDIT: UNLESS Rio is playing Nick too. Because now? SS trusts Beth. And Nick trusts Rio. Nick thinks Rio and Beth aren’t on the same side. That Beth turned Rio in and Rio’s murderous over it. And Rio can use Beth to take Nick down without Nick seeing them coming. I hope they’re going for that. Because that would be genius. And would really be Rio 100 steps ahead, and would make the whole episode make sense in terms of his characterization.

- The arrest scene was heart breaking. The complete betrayal in his eyes was so sad. As others have stated, choosing to slam him on a table, while yes it is realistic to how he would likely be treated in the real world, was not necessary. He wasn’t resisting and was literally just standing there. Idk why the writers feel the need to be “realistic” in some moments and not in others. Poor choice. But what I did appreciate was him staring at Beth. Like she was forced to face him this time. With his face shoved against a table while she stands there being cuffed gently. She did that. She didn’t see him arrested on tv. She didn’t run away after shooting him. She had to stand there in his gaze looking at the betrayal on his face. Good. I’m sorry but she deserved it. She needs to face the damn consequences of her actions. Sorry I’m upset with her RN.

- At this point I believe Rio is in love with Beth. And it seems the writers are actually pushing metaphors and moments that make us sympathize with Rio and see Nick as the bad guy. I do think Beth will eventually get there/realize her feelings for Rio later this season but it might be too little too late. Time will tell.

Promo/Thoughts going forward:

- I like Phoebe and don’t mind her being around

- Rio and Beth on a bench again is good news to me. On the same bench.

- Idk if it’s a time jump but Rio comes in with a fresh hair cut, new wardrobe, and a tan looking like he just had a hot girl summer and is feeling great, over his ex, and is ready to fuck shit up.

- I want to see Rio remind Beth that she betrayed him personally. I want her to have to face that. It’s not just she betrayed him professionally. I want to see him reject her, I want to see her flirt or bat her lashes at him and him to be like nope sorry. Just for a minute though like just one episode lol. And only because I think it will make her realize her feelings for him.

- Beth and Rio v Nick please. Just give us something fucking new.

- These writers had an amazing path they could have gone down of the housewife partnering with a gang banger. It would have been fun, plenty of comedic gold available, and plenty of options for conflict between them and with external forces. And instead they chose this. I feel sometimes like this show would have been way better if it wasn’t on NBC. This story, this chemistry, belonged with writers who would realize its potential. That’s what I find disappointing.

[hydrangeathief]

who are your five favorite gravity falls characters?

HEHEHEHEHEHEHE you have unlocked a Ramble

my number one, my favorite boy, my absolute best friend and my poor little meow meow and my little scrungly and my malewife, is stan. i love stan SO MUCH!!! he's just so loyal and strong and a total bitchy old man and i love him so much. love is stored in the stanley. the most tragic backstory of any character i have ever seen but he worked so hard! for so long! to save his brother!! and he loves the kids and he loves soos and wendy and he's just such a good character. the brass knuckles and baseball bat and fistfight the zombies?? all time top moment in any media ever. self sacrificing asshole. stanley i love you.

second favorite is good ole ford. he's a little bit too hashtag relatable bc i too am the ~smart sibling~ who carried the family's expectations for years and i too am the geeky science nerd cryptozoologist freak and i just. he's so smart and hardworking and also a total bitchy old man. my favorite genre of character is the bitchy old man. and he's such a delight to read and write bc he's feral and unhinged and totally ill adjusted to living in his home dimension and also, six fingers is a cool fucking character design. so good. insane dude.

third fave is FIDDS!! my lil appalachian soul just latched on to him and he's also the saddest fictional character i have ever experienced bc like. he had a Life!! he had a wife and child and a whole entire future before ford's hubris ruined it and i just. it's so sad. fiddleford i love you. ive tried forgetting, now im going to try forgiving??? AAAAAAA i lose my Mind

number four is my sweet little girl mabel like that is my actual child. she's just so bright and happy and determined to stay positive and she's so clever and creative and i looooove her. i wanna be mabel when i grow up. she's just such a sweetheart and a total chaos god and she cares so much and she's just such a well written character! love her!!!!!

gonna round out the list with bill cipher bc that is how you write a Good Villain like he's so fucking unhinged and the "im insane either way!" like is so so good and just. yellow cartoon triangle who is deeply unsettling. here kid have a head that's always screaming! why don't i shuffle the functions of all the holes on your face! i have some children to turn into corpses!

thank you so much for the ask, this was such a fun ramble

[prose-for-hire]

UC Sunnyhell: Part one

Welcome to Sunnyhell! ☀

Next Part

Pairing: Spike x reader

Request: Series idea: College AU where Spike is the campus bad boy who secretly is a softie that writes poems and reader is the new transfer who just moved into Spike's apartment since it was the only available room on campus (no one wants to willingly live with Spike). Spike constantly having one night stands over, reader always trying to study. The Scoobies take reader under their wing but warn her about Spike's reputation. Slow burn enemies to friends to lovers?

Originally requested by: @sunflower-stan��

Warning: sex references. Swearing.

A/N: This is a college au !! There was a second part to this request but I didn’t have space to include it (just know I am using your ideas for the roles people would have on campus). This is part one of eight !!!!!! 🖤💜

You had been nervous for starting college. You weren’t even sure you wanted to move away from your hometown until the last second. This is why you ended up losing out on anywhere you could live on-campus. You were instead directed here.

To a little shared house just on the outskirts of the college. You had all of your stuff packed up and waiting to be moved in and you were just staring at the house. This would be your new home for the rest of the year. Your stomach flipped, a mix of nerves and excitement.

You were naturally more bookish. You enjoyed the theatre and musicals. Literature. Now, if you were honest upon looking back, a little sheltered. You were hoping this might change and that you could start fresh now that you were staring college. There were so many experiences and people that you were sure you would enjoy meeting.

You tentatively knocked on the door. You had packed up your little car and driven to UC Sunnydale the day before your course would start. You were assured that your roommate had your key and would tell you all about your new house.

You waited for a while before knocking again, a little louder. The door swung open almost immediately this time and you stepped back at the force of it.

A woman opened the door she was blonde and had rosy cheeks. Her skin was pale and she had plump, full lips. But you didn’t notice any of that. Because she had opened the door to you half naked. She stared at you as if to hurry you up. Cursing you with every breath you took.

As you managed to form words again, you began to ask.

“Oh... a-are you... Will-?”

“Do I fucking look like my name’s William?” She asked before shouting over her shoulder, “Spike one of your sluts is at the door!” her face was sullen as she grabbed up all of her stuff, slipped on some leggings and what you had thought was a bra as she pushed past you. Your eyes widened at her tone and you stepped out of her way less she body-slammed you in that direction anyway.

Your first impression of Spike was what one might call, a bad one. For one, you weren’t accustomed to meeting anyone for the first time fully naked.

He just raised an eyebrow as you stared open-mouthed “oh, right” he muttered, turning away slightly.

He wasn’t even embarrassed, his unlit cigarette hanging from his lip as he opened a draw and grabbed your key. He moved and handed it to you and you took it.

“Thanks” you squeaked, trying your best to act as if this was normal. You tried your hardest to keep your eyes trained to his face. He smirked, knowing exactly what you were trying not to look at. He sized you up for a moment, scanning his eyes over your body before shrugging and looking back up to your eyes and launching into his more formal greeting.

“Rules: don’t bloody touch any of my shit. Don’t start making me clean up, there’s a system oh, and please don’t start thinking we’re gonna braid each other’s hair and paint our nails - I didn’t want a bleeding roommate in the first place” He warned, pointing for emphasis. This gave you a flash of his already painted nails.

He rattled off a few more rules, as he lit up his cigarette. Rules such as don’t talk to him Monday through Friday, don’t speak to the people he brought back to the house ever and definitely don’t complain if you can smell alcohol and cigarettes.

“You’ve been warned. Right, your rooms the crap one on the left” he shrugged his head, before slamming the door to what was apparently his room as he spoke (to put some clothes on, you presumed). You started to walk towards the room he had pointed out, a little shell-shocked.

But you had barely stepped in when he opened his door again and popped his head out of the door, “Welcome to Sunnyhell!” He announced before slamming the door shut once more.

You moved everything into your room, you spent time making your room feel more like home. You spent a long time making it look cosy and yours.

To begin with, you and spike mostly kept out of each other’s way. You weren’t used to people being so blunt or hostile right off the bat. Still, you tried your best to be nice to him on the rare occasion that you did pass each other in the hall.

Your first day of classes had you feeling the way you always did. Lost. Both metaphorically and unfortunately you were also genuinely lost. You had taken a turn and you didn’t know where to go next. You checked your map but it didn’t make any sense.

You were just going to walk in a random direction until a kind voice spoke to you.

“Hey, you’re lost right?”

“Big time” You smiled sheepishly, noticing only now that your map was upside down. The blonde girl introduced herself as Buffy and seemed to take an instant like to you. She could tell you were a little out of your depth and it showed on your face as much as she had felt it inside on her first day.

You both started walking in the vague direction of the campus. She asked you what class you had and what room and she was determined to help you find it. You kept thanking her almost every other step for her kindness. But she just shook her head, showing that you had no reason to. She wanted to.

You got to know her and she asked about you. She explained that she and her friend Cordy were part of a sorority and that her and her friends had found it hard when they started college last year. As you rounded the corner and Buffy saw the room you had been looking for, she became slightly side-tracked. She saw one of her best friends.

You smiled at Buffy. You liked her, she seemed really friendly. She appears to be really popular too, she stops every other step to speak to someone.

“Oh, Will! Hey!” Buffy raised her hand as she did her voice to catch the redhead’s attention, “Y/n, this is the resident genius and science club president!”

The girl, Willow, was wearing  lab coat and smiling sweetly at you. Her aesthetic and Buffy’s didn’t really match so after greeting the new girl, you had to ask.

“And you two are friends?” You ask a little confused. You were still used to how cliquey high school had been so seeing lots of different people mixing and being friends was strange. But, you decided you really liked it.

“Best friends”

“Yeah! We all sit together at lunch and just hang. Why don’t you join us?”

“Oh, well-”

“Great, we meet at the canteen at one!” Buffy called, linking arms with Willow and leaving you at the door of the lecture room you needed.

You entered your class, trying your best not to feel so overwhelmed. You actually really enjoyed it and just hoped that this would continue through the rest of the year.

After class was over, you tried to familiarise yourself with the campus again. Looking at different stalls that had been set up for the new arrivals advertising clubs.

You felt a little out of place and so sort of stayed to the side lines, not really interacting with many of the students. You hung around by the noticeboard and something caught your eye. A bright pink flier. You took it down, staring at it.

It read ‘Open mic night – held by the Poetry society and the theatre club’ You folded the flier and stuffed it into your pocket with a little smile. Maybe you wouldn’t feel so left out here after all.

You looked up from your feet as you needed to try and find your next class. As you did, you managed to directly catch someone’s eye. Spike’s. You lifted your hand to awkwardly wave at him and give him a little smile at him but he just glared at your action and ignored you completely.

You watched lamely as he just stalked away. That stupid leather jacket of his whipping around his heels. Everyone moved out of his way they all scattered as he just walks wherever he likes.

You sigh, extremely embarrassed at the way he had blanked you. You shove the hand that had still been slightly raised into your pockets as you walked away towards your next class.

Eventually lunch came and you decided that you could go to the canteen. You stood awkwardly on the side looking around for a face that you recognised in the sea of bodies.

As soon as Buffy saw you, she called you over immediately and began to introduce you to her group of friends. It was quite the mix of people. You learned a lot in a short space of time.

There was Xander, he was on a basketball scholarship. Apparently he was the sole reason that the college team won so often. Although, how true that was you weren’t entirely sure. He was immediately friendly and invited you to sit. You had expected him to be unwelcoming and kind of arrogant but he was the complete opposite. He smiled and cracked a few goofy jokes upon your arrival to put you at ease.

Sitting next to him was Cordelia, but she preferred ‘Cordy’. She was Buffy’s sorority sister and head cheer coach. She was dating Xander, only in the sense that they shared sodas and the backseat of Cordy’s new car. She could have quite a biting attitude but she did this as a term of endearment you found… to the lucky few.

Then there was Willow, who you had already met. She was a proud nerd and she had more extracurriculars than you could count up to it seemed. She was incredibly sweet and good-natured treating you as if she had known you her whole life. You also learned she had a girlfriend.

Tara, who was sat braiding Willow’s hair seeing as she had finished her lunch already. It appeared like she needed to do something when she was sat in a group. She appeared nice although she didn’t speak as much as everyone else so it was

Usually, someone called Angel would show. Everyone on campus knew him apparently as he was a member of one of the frats. He was kind of hard to get hold of you discovered. Buffy was a little disappointed when she explained that he wasn’t coming to lunch today. She appeared to really like him.

After the introductions were made and everyone started to eat again, the focus turned to you briefly. Buffy said you should totally join their cheerleading group or one of the fraternities or sororities. But this wasn’t really your kind of thing. You explain that you’d rather find something else. As you said this, you felt the corner of the flier in your pocket. You hoped you would find at least someone that shared your interests. That you could bond with over the things that excited you. Form a connection with.

Not to say you weren’t already feeling a welcoming vibe from the table you were sat with. They were friendly but appeared to be holding back slightly upon your arrival. You got it, you were new. But it did make you feel like you stood out a little.

You stared into the distance as they chatted, until someone spoke to you.

“Where are you staying, y/n?” Willow’s girlfriend, Tara, asked kindly. She seemed quiet and so probably knew how you were feeling. You smiled at her, appreciating her effort.

“Oh, I applied late so I got what was left. I’m in a shared house just off campus, I’m living with this guy – Spike”

There was a collective intake of breath and some shared looks. They appeared worried for you. You looked up in confusion at their shocked faces.

“He’s bad news”

“Yeah, hot off the presses – Spike is a total no-go. Nobody else took that room for a reason, there are rumours” Buffy warned you, her voice going quiet.

“And that Billy Idol wannabe hair? I get vintage, but that guys totally stuck living in the eighties” Cordy commented, the resident expert in style you would soon discover.

“What are the rumours?” You asked, bracing yourself for the reply.

“Well, apart from the superficial stuff-”

“Yeah, Cor’s got that part covered” Xander teased which made Cordy stamp on his foot under the table. He yelped and they glared at each other before they began suddenly launching themselves at each other and making out.

“Anyway… he’s horrible to everyone. He once got into a fist fight over a half pack of cigarettes he found on the sidewalk”

“He has a new, uh, sex buddy every week and he’s on constant probation. They threaten to expel him from college all the time” Willow had whispered her warning which had made Buffy smile fondly.

But you weren’t smiling. You were starting to worry. You knew you should have checked the place out before you signed the agreement. Now you were stuck there.

“I can’t stay there if he’s gonna fight me! I can’t throw a punch” You said, not quite believing that he would try to hurt you.

“We have self-defence class on Thursdays, we can sign you up” Buffy said, patting your hand that was resting on the table. Your eyes widened, they really thought he might fight you.

“Buffy’s the teacher” Willow explained before telling you not to worry.

Since this conversation, you were even more cautious around Spike. The tension began to rise between you. His attitude was unforgiving and he had taken one look at you and immediately judged you as being ‘one of them’.

You tried to be his friend to begin with, being naturally friendly and wanting some kind of approval from him that you didn’t understand.

But it soon became apparent you were almost complete opposites.

He kept the kitchen in a mess where you liked to have some sense of cleanliness. He had become really annoyed with you when you had cleaned up. You had a spare couple of hours in the afternoon and thought you would make it look tidy. You had done it to be kind but he had snatched the bowl you had cleaned for him and stormed away.

The tension was beginning to rise between you. You spoke to your new friends about it when you sat with them at lunch and they fuelled your feelings. You were starting to realise just how much you didn’t like Spike.

You and Spike, apart from the odd hello from you and the irritated grunt from him, didn’t communicate. He had ripped up your note suggesting a rota system for keeping the house tidy. And he all-out blanked you if he ever stumbled onto some lame corner of the campus that you were hanging out in.

The tension moved from apparent indifference to an increasing distaste for the other and their opposing nature. Spike assumed you thought you were better than he was. Because you studied. And slept early and had friends that were ridiculously too clean-cut.

He had seen you hanging out with Buffy and her gang of losers. He instantly decided you were just some bland prep like them. He was waiting for the day you tried to bring one of them over so he could have the pleasure of kicking them out of his house the way they shunned him in public.

One evening, a few weeks after you had met Buffy’s friends in the canteen for the first time, you were home alone. Spike had gone out as he usually would to get drunk and you were staying in just like almost every other night since you had moved to Sunnydale.

You couldn’t sleep and so you had sat in the shared living space watching some boring late-night show for company. You hugged a cushion to your chest and just stared blankly at the screen. Feigning listening to the low buzzing of the set and hoping you could fall asleep this way.

It was at a time where you hadn’t started meeting your new group of friends outside of the canteen at lunch yet. You didn’t have people to talk to, you wouldn’t want to bother them anyway.

Suddenly the front door swung open and there was what sounded like some kind of scuffle happening through the doorway. You frowned confused. Until you saw that it was Spike shoving his tongue down someone’s throat. It was the third different person Spike had brought home that week. And it was Wednesday.

You had been sat in the dark and Spike was otherwise occupied so he dragged your houseguest to the sofa that you were sat on and tangled against them with an urgency fuelled by loneliness or alcohol – you didn’t stick around long enough to care why he did it.

You were fixed to the spot, your face contorted in horror as you had unwittingly become a part of his one night stand. But as their bodies rolled and pressed against yours, you screamed. They smelled as if they had brought the entire brewery home with them.

Spike barely even registered that you were there, he just cast an eye towards you and raised an eyebrow. As if you were the one in his way. You saw his hand lowering, groping his new friend and your eyes widened and you scrambled to remove yourself from the area and get to the solace of your room.

You scowled. He was so inconsiderate.

As the weeks went by it was apparent that you were never going to get along. You were annoyed that he wouldn’t acknowledge that the house was now shared. He treated you as if you were damp seeping into the walls. Tainting everywhere he turned. Bubbling and creating a problem in the corner. Spreading and ruining his mood with your stubborn insistence to stay in the home.

And you were starting to treat him the same way. Which, he knew you would eventually. He had guessed your friendliness had been an act.

You were just too different. You liked to study to stay on top of your work. Whereas Spike didn’t ever seem to be doing any work. You were always in his business, making comments and singing those musical songs around the house that bugged him so much.

It was as if you were living in a better way than him. You were trying to ‘improve’ him and he felt as if you were suffocating him with all of your little ideas about changing the house around. You were really starting to get on his nerves.

He kept irregular hours and this was okay by you, so long as it didn’t affect your sleep schedule. But, unfortunately it often did.

You had leaned over to turn your bedside lamp off and settled into bed. You closed your eyes, smiling at the day you had. Cordy and Buffy had taken you shopping. They insisted they would find you a new college wardrobe. You gave them a budget and your style ideas and they worked their magic.

You were so grateful they had kind of started to take you under their wing. You weren’t entirely sure if it was to get dirt on Spike at first, but they had gotten bored of the topic as the weeks went on and were more interested in getting to know you.

You began to drift into sleep as you recounted your day. Until all of a sudden you were jolted awake. Loud music had started playing. You checked the clock it was nearing midnight – you had gotten in much later than you usually would after your friends had taken you for a drink to celebrate a successful shopping trip.

The pounding of the music and the screaming vocals were so loud it was as if the band was playing a live set directly beside your bed. Your entire room appeared to be shaking because of it.

You got out of bed, your anger bubbling dangerously higher with every step you took towards the source of the noise. He was sat in the shared living area, drinking liquor from the bottle and nodding along to the music.

“I have a really important class tomorrow, can you keep it down?” You asked, trying to make your voice sound level.

“Don’t know. Can you keep your hands off my Weetabix?” He asked snidely. You had seen one of his friends or… whatever they were eat the last of it. But you were too embarrassed to bring up his promiscuity. The rumours had made you cautious of him and so you just didn’t say anything.

He quirked his eyebrow as if he had caught you out and turned to the cd player he was using. You sighed some relief but rather than turning it down he twisted the dial so that the volume was at its fullest.

This was it. You stalked towards the Cd player and turned the volume right down. He got up from his seat immediately, grabbing your upper arm to pull you away. His grip was firm and his body was extremely close to yours. His eyes were hard and unforgiving as he spoke.

“Did you forget the rules already? Don’t. touch. My. Bloody. Stuff”

You snatched your arm away and gritted your teeth. You couldn’t think of any witty comebacks. You wished you were Buffy or Willow – they would have known what to say.

Instead, you just expelled air through your nose and stormed off. The punk song now blaring out of the speakers again as you slammed your door shut.

You were so angry you were shaking. You stomped into bed, putting a pillow over your head and tried, and mostly failed, to get some sleep.

You were a zombie the next day. Completely running on caffeine. Your new friends helped you out, tried to wake you up before class and Cordy swore that when she saw Spike next she would give him a piece of her mind. You appreciated them so much.

You were worried because you didn’t seem to have as much in common with the others. Cordy and Buffy went to their cheer club and their sorority. Xander was the basketball star with a goofy, soft heart. And Willow was this complete sweetheart genius who had a love for learning and found the work here all so easy. Her girlfriend was really sweet too, although a little quiet. You had only met her once that time in the canteen but you decided you could probably call her a friend too.

You didn’t have much in common, you were more bookish and you had to work a lot harder to grasp what was being taught. Despite your love of learning, it didn’t come naturally to you. You had to work at it to maintain an average grade. This meant you would study even harder to achieve those grades that you truly desired.

But luckily, despite your suggested lack in commonality, they really liked you for some reason. You and your new friends had all just clicked. At least you had them to be accepting of you.

Either way, that still didn’t solve a problem like Spike.

He infuriated you. He made you want to scream. You wanted to move out. A dark part of you wanted to sneak into his room at night and smother him with the pillow he had forced you to cover your ears with.

You just hoped through the rest of the year that things couldn’t get any worse than it already was. That you could just ride it out.

You were sure there was no way to bridge this gap. No way you could possibly ever get over what a complete pain he was. You couldn’t stand him. He was smug and didn’t care about anything. He was selfish and he didn’t even acknowledge you in public.

You just wanted to get this college year done and get out of there. You had decided that if you ever saw Spike’s face again after this year – it would be one time too many.

[ur-not-reddie]

I Can’t See Without the Lights

a/n: ahhh!! it’s late, but it’s finally here! the soft streddie i promised you all :’) this is my first time writing streddie so i’m a lil nervous and i’m sorry if it’s not the best. regardless, i hope you enjoy <3

pairing: streddie

warnings: feels galore  

word count: 1.7k 

for context: this takes place summer of their sophomore year, in college, when they go back to derry to visit family 

-

Stan exhales heavily as he steps out of his car, bolting down the street to Richie’s house. Stan goes around the back of the house, climbing over the gate as silently as he can, just in case Richie’s parents are home. He sees that every room in the house is dark except Richie’s where he can see the half broken, dim lamp illuminating his room. 

Stan then sneaks through the back door, Richie always leaving it unlocked for when he and Eddie sneak over. He heads upstairs, seeing Richie’s parents room is empty and dark. He opens Richie’s door, nearly scaring him half to death. 

“Jesus, Stan, w-” 

“We have to go!” Stan cuts Richie off in a panic.  

“What? Why?” Richie asks, sitting upright in his chair that's placed at his desk. “You’re freaking me out, My Man.”

“Something happened to Eddie!” Stan says in distress, starting to pace around the room as Richie jumps to his feet. 

“What?” Richie asks again, hoping he misunderstood what Stan said as trepidation floods his veins. “What do you mean something happened to Eddie?!” 

“I don’t know!” Stan yells, feeding off of Richie’s panic. “He texted me and it doesn’t make any sense which makes me feel like something’s wrong!” tears start to pool in Stan’s eyes. “Come on! We have to go!” 

Richie grabs the first shoes he sees, not the same pair, but he doesn’t care. They dart out the front door and into Richie’s car. They speed to Eddie’s house, Richie grateful they live in a small town otherwise they’d most definitely be pulled over. They make it there, storming inside as they call out for Eddie. Richie begins searching downstairs, as Stan goes up. He first looks in Eddie’s room when he hears faint crying. 

“Eddie?” Stan asks, stepping out of the room when he notices that the bathroom door is closed. Stan walks up to the door, pressing his ear against the cool wood as he hears more muffled crying. “Eddie?” Stan asks again, knocking on the door, trying the knob, but it’s locked. That’s when Stan hears a crash, followed by a loud bang, crying and hyperventilating. “Oh, shit… Richie!” Stan yells. “He’s up here!” Richie stumbles up the stairs and meets Stan at the bathroom door. 

“He’s in there?” Richie asks, panting as he tries to catch his breath. 

“Yes!” Stan tries to twist the locked door handle again. “There was a loud noise and now it sounds like he can’t breathe!” Stan starts to pace again. 

“Stan, it’s okay. He’ll be okay.” Richie tries his best to keep his composure as he attempts to calm Stan down. 

“Oh god!” Stan panics more. “Richie, what are we going to do?!” 

“Stanley!” Richie raises his voice, grabbing Stan’s face gently. “You. Need. To. Calm. Down. I can’t have both of you freaking out. So, please, relax, and we need to help Eddie.” Stan nods, taking a deep breath as he tries his best to have a clear and rational mind. “Go around the side of the house and climb through the bathroom window, it’s never locked, remember? Unlock the door and I’ll go grab Eddie’s inhaler.” 

Stan scurries back down the stairs, out the back door and to the bathroom window. He slides it open, climbs inside and sees Eddie clinging to the edge of the bathtub. He instantly notices Eddie’s bloody nose, bruised cheek, his shirt nearly ripped in half and pills littered all over. 

“Oh, Eddie.” Stan whimpers at the sight, running to Eddie’s side and dropping to his knees as he embraces his fragile frame. “What happened?” Stan asks gently, wiping Eddie’s tears away when he hears Richie knocking on the door. 

“Stan? Are you in there? Let me in.” Richie knocks more. Stan crawls over quickly, opens the door before going back to Eddie, pulling him in his lap. “Hey, Eds.” Richie walks in, kneels down and holds out Eddie’s inhaler for him. “What’s going on?” Richie also notices the state of Eddie and he’s doing everything he can to keep himself collected. He wants to scream, punch someone or something, hold Eddie and never let him go. 

“Eddie,” Stan says, shifting Eddie so he’s better placed in his lap. “Come on,” he helps Eddie use his inhaler and gain control of his breathing. 

“Eddie, what happened?” Richie asks again, moving some hair out of Eddie’s view. Eddie opens his mouth only for him to burst into a whole other fit of sobs, throwing himself into Richie’s arms. Stan sighs, feeling his heart sink into his stomach as he rubs Eddie’s back. “Eddie, baby, you need to use your words. We can’t help you if you don’t use your words.” 

Stan starts to sob, hugging the back of Eddie before he stands up, walking over to the cabinet and pulling out the first-aid kit that’s always stocked full. He grabs it then grabs a clean cloth, wetting it with warm water and heads back over to the other two. Richie turns Eddie around in his lap so he’s facing Stan as Stan starts to wipe the blood from Eddie’s nose and face. 

“Are you going to tell us what happened, Eds?” Richie asks again, his voice soft like snow as he rubs Eddie’s leg gently. 

“I don’t want to tell you,” Eddie finally says, sniffing as Stan keeps cleaning his nose. 

“Eddie,” Stan sighs, stroking Eddie’s cheek with his thumb and kissing his lips gently. “You know you can tell us anything.” 

“I know, but, it’s just-” Eddie is cut off by his own cries once again. Stan closes his eyes, resting his forehead against Eddie’s as he cries more with him - it hurts him to see Eddie cry. Richie pulls both of his boys close to him. 

“Stan,” Richie says, grabbing Stan’s chin gently and tilting his head up, meeting each other’s gaze. “Why don’t you go get us some water and I’ll try to calm Eddie down more.” Stan nods, hugging Eddie before he exits the bathroom. “Eddie,” Richie shifts Eddie so that he’s able to look at him. “You need to tell me what happened.” Richie is delicate with his tone. 

“No. I don’t want to tell you.” Eddie closes his eyes as more tears fall. 

“But you need to, baby.” Richie gives a weak smile. 

“No, Richie, I can’t!” Eddie’s voice quivers as he tries not to break down again. “It’s too embarrassing…” he nearly whispers, feeling beyond ashamed as he leans in and rests his head on Richie’s chest. “And I think you’d be fucking pissed…” 

“Yes, Eddie, I am going to be fucking pissed!” Richie raises his voice slightly, Eddie starting to cave in on himself. “How could I not bed, Eds?” Richie’s voice is calm and light again, rubbing Eddie’s back. “Someone hurt you and knowing that I, or Stan, couldn’t be there to help makes me a bit frustrated.” 

“No one did this, I fell.” Eddie tries to lie as he wipes his eyes. 

“Don’t you dare give me that, Eds. I know damn well you didn’t fall.” Eddie stays silent knowing if he opens his mouth again, it’ll be unbelievable lies. “Can you look at me, please?” Eddie takes a slow, deep breath before finally meeting Richie’s eyes. “There are those pretty eyes I love to see.” Eddie blushes, batting his lashes as Richie kisses his lips tenderly. 

Stan then enters the bathroom again, placing three water bottles on the floor as he sits back down. Eddie lets go of Richie and clings back to Stan, sighing softly as he fumbles with the material on Stan’s shirt. 

“He tried to tell me he fell,” Richie informs Stan. Stan hums, trying to process as he starts rubbing Eddie’s back again. 

“I don’t want to tell you guys…” Eddie’s words are slightly muffled due to his face buried in Stan’s chest. “It’s embarrassing and I’m just so… weak.” Eddie’s voice strains on the last word. 

“Don’t say that, Eds.” Richie says, running his fingers through Eddie’s hair. 

“You’re not weak at all, my sweet boy.” Stan half whispers, leaning his head on top of Eddie’s. “You’re still here and you’re brave as hell for doing so.” 

“Stanley’s right,” Richie agrees. “And you’re brave as hell for being here too.” Richie smiles, grabbing Stan’s hand, rubbing his thumb across Stan’s scars in a loving manner. Stan blushes at Richie’s words, leaning in and kissing Richie. 

The three sit in comfortable silence for over an hour. Stan and Richie stopped their questioning, letting Eddie think about how he wants to explain what happened to him. Eddie goes back and forth between the other two’s laps, finding comfort and contentment in both of them. Eddie takes a slow, deep breath, stretching and laying over both Richie and Stan. Eddie tries to think more, but exhaustion overrides him and he falls asleep. 

“What do you think happened?” Stan asks in a whisper, breaking the silence. 

“I have no idea,” Richie whispers back, running his fingers softly through Eddie’s hair. “We’ll find out tomorrow, he’s exhausted right now.” Stan nods, agreeing with Richie as a yawn escapes his mouth, causing Richie to chuckle. “Seems like my other baby is exhausted too,” Stan nods again, smiling weakly as he leans into Richie. “Okay, we’re not gonna sleep on the bathroom floor.” Richie lets out an air laugh as he sits Stan up. 

Stan lets out another yawn, stretching before standing up, pulling Eddie into his arms. Richie gets to his feet as well, turning off the light as they walk out of the bathroom and into Eddie’s room. Stan lays Eddie in the middle of the bed as him and Richie lay on either side of him. 

“I’m gonna fuck up whoever did that to him,” Richie states angrily. 

“Richie, is that necessary?” Stan grabs Richie’s hand, lacing their fingers together. 

“Yes!” Richie accidentally raises his voice, Stan shushing him. “If it were you, I’d do the same as well.” Stan smiles, leaning in and kisses Richie before pulling back. 

“You’re so brave,” Stan hums, laying his head down on the pillow, arm draped over Eddie as he quickly falls asleep. 

“Only for you,” Richie says, talking to both Stan and Eddie, kissing them both on the cheek before he joins them in sleep.

-

part two coming soon ;)

[2ndstar-ontheright]

Little Tim Drake’s No Good Day

Fandom: Batman 

Characters: Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne (Batman)

Words: 1059

Summary: “I was wonderin if you could write a lil fanfic with a baby regressor Tim Drake - like ages 0-3! - having a tantrum cause of stress and Bruce, like the good dad he is, helps him calm down n stuff!” -Requested by:  WonderingLullaby. I hope you like it! Also I’m sorry if it’s kind of cliche and cheesy, but that’s what makes it so wholesome am I right?

Friday evening couldn’t come any sooner for Tim Drake. What with school, helping Mr. Wayne fighting crime, and trying to keep himself out of harm's way, it would’ve been shocking if he weren’t as stressed as he is now. He barely got any sleep last night and got in trouble for falling asleep in class. So you could say he wasn’t in a great mood. As he continued to walk home, he could feel himself getting smaller and smaller. “Oh wow! How convenient Tim!” He snarked. (Which I mean, it kind of is since you’re almost home already Tim!)

He continued on his way home until he saw Wayne Manor. Walking up the front steps, he felt a wave of relief wash over him. He could finally take a break! A little one to be exact! All he had to do was get past Mr. Wayne and things would be a-okay. It wasn’t that he didn't approve of his age regression, rather it was because he didn’t want someone he idolized to see him in such a small state. “I don’t want to bother him anyway, He’s busy.” He said going up to his room. 

Shutting the door, he walked towards his bed and slumped off his backpack. Going over to his closet he picked out a little outfit which was: a bat hoodie and a pair of baby blue stretchy shorts. He crawled back towards his bed with his box labeled “Tiny Tim Things”. After what seemed like forever to little Tim, he was finally ready to be little. But, when he tried he remembered that he had science homework to finish. Getting grumpy, he bunched up his blanket in his fists. “Why did Miss Swamp have to give us homework on a friday? That’s so mean!” He asked. Sighing, he got his homework out and sat at his desk to finish. Before long 2 hours had past and Mr. Wayne was calling him for dinner. Still in a sour mood he set his work aside and walked downstairs. 

Bruce had been working in his office on a new hotel design. The hotel would only have 3 floors and instead of a pool it would have a drawing room that would display the works of his favorite artists. Such as: Georges Saurat, Lee Stan, Kane Bob, Rembrandt, and Frida Kahlo. He was snapped out of his work when he heard his son, Tim, come home. Walking out of his office, he hoped to catch a glimpse of him before he retreated up to his room. Hearing his footsteps go up the stairs, he was too late. He sighed, shrugged it off, and went into the kitchen to make dinner. 

He had taken notice of how stressful the past few weeks have been for Tim, so he decided to make his favorite, lasagne. After 2 long hours of cooking, dinner was ready. “Tim! Dinner’s ready!” He called. 

“I made your favorite. Lasagna!” Bruce said, bringing the dish to the table. “Can you set the table for me, Tim?” Tim nodded and walked into the kitchen to get the flatware. Once he got the plates and the silverware out he walked back to the table. 

As the 2 of them began to eat, Tim felt himself getting more upset. Bruce took note of the fact that he hadn’t eaten anything and chose this moment to see what was bothering him.  “Tim, are you okay”? Tim shook his head. “Oh. What’s wrong buddy?” “Nothing.” “Tim, c’mon talk to me. What’s wrong?” Bruce said sternly. “I SAID NOTHING!” Tim yelled, pushing his plate onto the floor. He tried to run off, but slipped and fell onto the floor. Lasagna all over him. His eyes filled with hot tears and knowing that his dad would be furious, he started crying.

Bruce looked at his son in shock, he hadn’t seen him like this in a while. “I guess things were a lot more than they seemed” he thought. Tim’s sobs filled the silence as Bruce’s heat broke. Suddenly, it hit him like a batarang to the Joker’s henchmen, “He hasn’t regressed to help with his stress until now. That explains the tantrum” He realized. Standing up, he walked over to the boy to try and calm him down.  

“Tim, you know that it’s not okay to throw things and yell at people. Especially me, right? ” Bruce said, putting a hand on Tim’s shoulder. Tim looked up at him and sniffled, “ Yeah, I know. ‘M sorry papa!” “It’s okay kiddo. But next time something’s bothering you, talk to me about it and we’ll work it out! Don’t keep it inside until you explode and get upset, okay? You’re not a volcano!” Bruce joked, wiping his tears away. “Yeah. Vo’canos are scary!” Tim giggled. “Yeah” Bruce laughed, “Now you know how it feels for me when I see you get upset like that. It feels pretty scary,” He said seriously. “M’ sorry Papa, I don’ wan’ you to be a’scared” Tim replied. “This kid” Bruce thought, “How did I get a kid who’s so sweet?” “It’s okay buddy. I’m not scared, I’m just glad you’re okay. Now, I believe it’s time for a little robin to get a bath” He said smirking at the end. “Nooo! No bathtime!” Tim said laughing. 

Later that night, after Tim, his clothes, and the mess had all been cleaned, Bruce walked back upstairs to say good night. Tim had been the same as he left him, in his pajamas with his stuffed dog in one hand and his bottle in the other. Bruce smiled at the scene as he saw him trying to read a book, “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No-good, Very Bad Day” to be exact. He chuckled and rolled his eyes at the irony. 

“Papa! Can you read a story, please?” Tim asked, holding the book out to him. “Of course buddy,” he said, taking the book. “I went to sleep with gum in my mouth and now there’s gum in my hair...'' Bruce began. Before long, Tim fell asleep to the story. He closed the book and placed it and the bottle onto the nightstand. He tucked Tim in and kissed his forehead before leaving the room. “Good night little one” He whispered before going to bed himself. And the Bat family fell asleep peacefully under the moon’s watchful eye.