#also that beauty comment was inspired by edward telling renesmee she's not as pretty as bella... father of the year everyone

[veloursdor]

May I ask for widow wan crumbs please? 🥺👉👈

Hi nonie! Of course you can, I love Widow-Wan AU 💕

I bring you 1.2k words of Obi-Wan truly trying to be a father to the twins but failing miserably at it. 

And it hurts him.

‘Anakin should be here’, Obi-Wan thought morosely as he watched Leia play with little Ezra Bridger while Master Windu read Luke one of his favourite plays. The children were happy to be in the Room of a Thousand Fountains, surrounded by people who could spend more than a few minutes in their presence without breaking down in tears. 

Laughter was a good sound on Luke and Leia, 9 years old and so much like Anakin when they had first met that it hurt too much for him to see them for longer than a few minutes. More than that and he would only see Anakin, which wasn’t fair on his children at all.

He couldn’t stop himself from wishfully thinking that Anakin should’ve been around to witness their children’s happiness, to shower them with love and be the father he had always dreamt of being, let alone from hating the fact that he had been robbed of having a chance.

He was thankful for his friends’ and family’s continuous efforts in helping him with the children, but the knowledge that it should have been him and Anakin against the rest of the galaxy burned inside of him, rendering him useless when it came to the children more often than not. It should have been Anakin the one who taught Leia how to tinker with droids instead of Ahsoka; Anakin should have been around to teach Luke how to be the second best pilot the galaxy had ever seen.

Instead, the children had to conform with second best attempts. Obi-Wan was grateful for everything people did for them, but they weren’t Anakin, no one was, and he just couldn’t pretend as if everything was alright when it wasn’t. 

He wasn’t meant to be a single father; the plan had always been for Anakin to deliver the babies – safely inside the Halls of Healing – and for them to leave the Jedi in order to focus on their little family, away from everyone else.

But Anakin had died for Leia to live, and it had changed every plan Obi-Wan had ever made.

Obi-Wan tried his best not to let the bitterness win, but when every morning he woke up to Anakin’s side of the bed cold and empty, when every time one of the twins did something marvellous and he turned around to share it with Anakin only to remember that Anakin was gone… it was harder to pretend that sometimes he wished Anakin hadn’t done what he did.

He loved Leia, tried his hardest to show her that he loved her with the part of his heart that didn’t belong to Anakin. But it was especially hard the older she grew and her attitude started to resemble the father that she would never know. Her temper, her fire… it was so much like Anakin, Obi-Wan could barely stand to be in her presence for more than a few minutes, sometimes even hours, before he was reminded of the young boy his beloved had been when they had first met.

She looked nothing like Anakin – Luke was the one who had been blessed with his beauty – but the fire that had lived inside of Anakin resided now in Leia, making it hard for Obi-Wan not to blurt out Anakin’s name when he managed to talk with her for more than a few minutes.

The twins were all the good that Anakin had in him, his beauty and his strength, his love of mischief and his desire to help. Everything that made the twins them had belonged to Anakin first… and Obi-Wan struggled more often than not to see his kids for who they were instead of who they reminded him of.

Leia had Anakin’s temper, but where Anakin had struggled to rein his fury, Leia had started to master the art of diplomacy. He was filled with sadness every time Leia managed to breathe through her anger and address the issues with a cool head, as it reminded him of the times when Anakin would throw a tantrum if negotiations ran longer than expected. 

Luke was Anakin to the dot, with his blonde hair and piercing blue eyes; but where his beloved Anakin’s eyes had burned with the inner conflict of his loyalties torn apart, Luke was serene and calm, perfectly content with following the Jedi tenants. He never questioned or raged against them, making it so that Obi-Wan couldn’t be in the room if Luke was to be praised by the Council.

The Council had never been kind to Anakin in the first place.

“Dad!” Luke’s voice broke through his sad thoughts as a small figure crashed into his side, earning a huff from him. “Master Mace was telling me about this new play he heard about! It’s about a donkey who…”

“Luke, you should be…” he cut himself off at the hopeful look in the child’s eyes, so similar to Anakin’s when he had first arrived at the temple that his heart squeezed at the sight of them. Luke was part of Anakin, and for that alone Obi-Wan loved him completely.

It was just hard to prove it when Anakin wasn’t there to share parenthood with him.

“Tell me all about this play, Luke,” Obi-Wan placed Luke on his lap, hugging the boy close to him. Luke lit up in his embrace, twisting his heart once more at the reminder of his failure at being a proper parent to the children.

Yet his grief was too strong to actually make him change his ways.

“It’s the story of a donkey, a dog, a cat, and a chicken who decide to leave their masters and become musicians in the big city! Master Mace was showing me the songs and they…” Luke was interrupted by Leia’s stomping. A frown was on her face, and her arms were crossed above her chest.

It looked so similar to Anakin’s pouts as a child that Obi-Wan had to look away from her if he didn’t want to cry in the middle of the room with every Jedi present staring at him in pity.

“Why don’t you join us, my dear?” Obi-Wan asked with a knot on his throat as Leia climbed on his lap and pushed Luke slightly to the side, so the both of them could be in his arms.

His heart was breaking itself into pieces as Luke continued his story, Leia agreeing softly with him while pressing herself closer to his chest. Obi-Wan could barely hear what the children were saying, the pressure in his heart was enough to make his ears ring painfully.

Mace, sensing his distress, came to his rescue when Obi-Wan needed him the most.

“Children, it’s time to practise our katas.”

“But… Dad…”

“Come on now, children, listen to Master Mace,” Obi-Wan said with a knot on his throat, “I’ll join you shortly. I have to… discuss something with Master Yoda.”

“But… Dad, we were…”

Obi-Wan ignored their plights as he set them on the grass in front of him and stood in a hurry, the tears in his eyes threatening to spill and make a spectacle of himself. After nodding to Mace, Obi-Wan made a swift exit out of the room, the tears and sobs inside of him finally leaving him as soon as he crossed the doors.

Had he been less busy burying himself in his grief, he would’ve noticed the broken hearted expressions in his children’s faces, begging for their dad to come back to them.