#also thank you all for being so nice to me legit all your comments and tags keep me going ����😭🤍🌷 thank yous

[flowercrowngods]

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 (these make one big story, you won't understand this part without the others)

day 04: here come the tears

a/n: the people have requested a surprise eddie pov and i have decided to pull a eurovision and ignore the public vote, just a little bit. but you get a tiny eddie pov, as a treat 🤍

Steve is crying. It's 1:07 a.m. and Steve is crying. And there is nothing Eddie can do about it as he's lying in bed, his heart breaking further with every passing second that they lie there in silence, quiet sniffles carrying over the phone. 

Steve is crying and Eddie is breaking. Steve is not talking to him and Eddie is breaking. Steve is not okay, and neither is Eddie. They're both breaking. 

And Eddie doesn't know what to do about it, how to fix it. How to make it better. How to tell Steve that he misses him, how to ask him to talk to him, how to keep him. To stop him from slipping through his fingers further and further until all there is is silence. 

"You know," his mind wanders back to years ago, his heart cracking at the memory. "I had the biggest crush on him for the longest time. Forever, really."

He remembers the way Steve's eyebrows shot up, his eyes round with... shock? Surprise? Or maybe something bad? 

"Oh?" 

"Yeah," Eddie had chuckled, fiddling with the straw in his drink to give his hands something to do. "Remember that kiss?" Steve nodded. "Well." Another chuckle, awkward this time, and possibly too revealing. 

Steve grinned at him, a self satisfied smirk that wavers just a little. "So you're saying you did fall madly in love with me, Munson?" 

Eddie's breath had hitched a little because Steve remembered those words so perfectly that had since doomed Eddie completely. But he covered it up with a laugh so easily, he was sure Steve didn't notice. 

"Maybe," he grinned. "But eh, that's in the past." 

It wasn't a lie; not really. But wasn't the truth either. 

The truth was that Eddie had moved on. The truth was that it's the kind of crush that was never really a crush. The kind that is a Forever more than anything else. 

The kind that will always be there, a flame burning inside my chest that carries your name and keeps it alive, keeps me warm. The kind of flame that will always be ready to become a bonfire again. Just say the word, Stevie. It's written in the universe. Say the word and I'll be yours. 

"Good," Steve said after a while, and Eddie remembers frowning, remembers that he wanted to ask what that tone was, what Steve was thinking. If he was worried or disgusted or felt betrayed that Eddie's been so hopelessly and helplessly in love with him. 

But all he said was, "Yeah. Remember Chrissy? We're kinda official now." 

And Eddie had known then just as he does now, that he'll be a happy man with Chrissy. She's his best friend, a sunshine on bleak days. She's no Steve, but she makes him happy. He had to move on from Steve – to try – and allow himself his own kind of happiness. He'd never expected to find it with Chrissy, but he loves her so much. He's grown to love her in the past years – not the movie kind of love, not the all-encompassing Steve kind of love, because that flame inside his chest can still only carry one name. 

But life is not a movie. And love is not always a fire. But he's still warm, still content, still happy. And so is Chrissy. She knows about his flame, says she understands. Eddie thinks he has one of her own, but he never asked; just held her that night, creating more of that silent happiness.

…Is he happy? Lying in bed, listening to Steve's quiet breaths that are barely audible over the phone, remembering the kiss, the confession, the Forever that he tried to move on from, he wonders what he's doing. Wonders if that contentment is worthwhile if it somehow lead him to losing Steve. 

Did he miss something? Did he fuck up without realising? 

He can't ask; Steve won't talk. 

All he can do is lie there and feel that flame that still carries Steve's name after ten, eleven, twelve years scorching his insides. 

All he can do is wonder if the whispered, "Good night, Stevie. I miss you," is some kind of goodbye. All he can do is lie awake all night and wonder where they started losing each other. 

~*~

Missing Eddie is worse than loving him. Missing Eddie makes it feel like all the heartbreak songs are written for Steve and his pain that will persist.

It’s been three months since the engagement party, and the sharp, biting heartache that cut into his lungs every time Steve tried to take a deep breath has dulled now, turned into a constant ache, an emptiness, the sorrowful traces of where an I love you turned into an I miss you. 

He’s barely talking to Eddie anymore, and with every passing day he just misses him more. 

Steve types the words I miss you over and over and over again, but never hits send. Just stares at them, wondering if Eddie knows. Wondering if he’s doing the right thing. He isn’t. There is no right thing. Nothing is right. Not without Eddie. 

He scrolls up in their chat, past Eddie’s questions if he’s okay, past his very own I miss yous, up and up and up to the strings of hearts, to the inside jokes, to the gentle teasing, to the You’re my favourite persons, to the happiness and joy and good, good times. 

He scrolls and scrolls until his phone vibrates and tells him there’s a new message in the chat. Steve frowns, his hollow heart racing as he scrolls down again to see Eddie’s new message. 

Eddie Munson: — Can I come over? 

Steve frowns. 

— why? are you okay? 

Eddie Munson: — No. — Nothing is okay. You’re gone and you’re not talking to me and I miss you and I’m losing you and I don’t know why — I dont know anything. — I just wanna know, wanna talk, wanna understand — I wanna fix this. I fucked up, I think, and I wanna make it better. — I need to talk to you — Please. Please can I come over 

Steve swallows hard, as he reads the incoming messages over and over again, watching the little bubble that says Eddie’s typing still. Watching as it disappears and reappears, reading until his eyes begin to sting and his vision is blurred with tears for the first time this week. 

Letting them fall as he types, 

— no. please dont 

Eddie doesn’t reply to that, and Steve breathes out long and hard, throwing his phone to the side, not caring where it lands on the couch as he slumps over to the other side, turning up the music even louder. 

Oh, can you tell I haven’s slept very well Since the last time that we spoke. I said, ‘Please understand I’ve been drinking again And all I do is hope.’

It consumes him, this song and the way it was written for him. The way it was written about him. Because he has no right to ask Eddie to stay. He’s the one who’s leaving. He’s the one not telling Eddie what is wrong, why he’s pulling back so suddenly. 

I’m not strong enough for the both of us. What was I supposed to do, You know I love you. Please, stay.

Please stay. Please, please, please stay. It’s about him. It’s about Eddie. About them. 

And Steve listens to it over and over again, not caring that his neighbours will know it by heart by know, will be so tired of him wallowing for weeks and months, and will come knocking soon. He doesn’t care, not when Mayday Parade are singing, All the love’s still there, I just don’t know what to do with it now. 

He types that into Eddie’s chat. Doesn’t hit send. Sends it to Robin instead, and gets a shaking hands emoji in return. It makes him smile as he re-starts the song. 

~*~

That night, he wakes around 2 a.m. to a missed call an hour ago and one new message on his mailbox. He lifts his phone to his ear with shaking hands and bated breath, a pit opening in his stomach when he hears the Judas Priest song that’s been in his Sad Eddie playlist since the beginning. 

His heart cracks open when he hears Eddie’s sniffle, a heavy sigh, and another sniffle, followed by a little, Fuck. 

“Stevie? I’m… You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to just— to just disappear. To slip through my fucking fingers, or float away like a— a dream, when you wake up, and you wanna go back to sleep because it was a good dream, and you— I don’t wan’ you to be a good dream Steve. You’re like… Fuck, man!” 

Eddie’s voice is breaking, and so is Steve’s heart as his hand begins to tremble and he sits up in bed, closing his eyes, squeezing them shut because he doesn’t want to see the world as Eddie’s rambling at him. 

“I miss you. I miss you so much, and I don’t understand what’s happening. I don’t… I don’t wanna miss you. How do I get you back, Stevie? Please just… God, please just talk to me. I’d do anything for you, you know that. Just tell me, just say the word. Just… Just say the word, please.” 

There’s silence after that, only Judas Priest’s Here come the tears over and over as the song is ending. Steve is crying as he listens to Eddie’s silence. 

“Just. Just… Please, Stevie.” 

The call ends then, the line cutting to the staticky voice instructing him to save or delete the message. Steve saves it. He doesn’t know why. 

He also doesn’t know why he’s scrolling through his contacts with trembling hands and hits Call when he reaches Eddie. 

The call doesn’t even get to the second ring before it’s picked up already. 

“Stevie?” Eddie sounds breathless, wild, and just a little hoarse. Like he was still crying. 

“Hi,” he says lamely, still shaking, a little breathless himself, and with absolutely no idea what he should say. 

“I’m… Hi.” 

Silence falls, and Steve wipes at his eyes. He’s still in bed, just sitting there with his phone pressed to his ear, and the ball that’s coiled inside him is growing larger and larger with each passing second that he doesn’t say Sorry, that he doesn’t say I miss you, too. That he doesn’t say I love you. 

“Can I come in?” 

He blinks, the question throwing him off his thought spiral. “Huh?” 

“I’m sort of… outside your building right now.” 

Why, he wants to ask. No, he wants to say. You’re gonna see, you’re gonna know, you’re gonna hate me forever. 

“Okay,” he breathes and climbs out of bed, blanket around his shoulders despite the summer heat, because suddenly he’s freezing. He buzzes Eddie in, listens to him on the phone as he walks up the stairs, neither of them thinking of hanging up, and opens his doors with shaking, trembling hands. 

tagging: @sexymothmanincarnate @mcneen @livsters @eddiemunchondeeznuts @abstractnaturaldisaster @steddie-as-they-go @hyperfixationgoddess @goodolefashionedloverboi @stxrcrossed186 @imzadidragonfly @eddiemunsonswife @bidisastersworld @ghost-ly-s @romanticdestruction @walkingaftermidnight07 @anaibis @rainydays35 @mightbeasleep @sunfloweringstories @korixae @tuesdaycats @totoroinatardis @ilovebookshowboutyou @musical-theatre-gay @theluckyalien @copingmechanizm @srra @changelingbaby @sassygoop @obsessivelyme @r0binscript (sorry if i missed anyone just give me a shout if i did <3)and thanks to everyone who said nice things about this 🤍🌷

come back tomorrow/later for [redacted] | read here

[ohbo-ohno]

I have been thinking about the image of Knight Johnny getting a ceremonial collar instead of a medal for like 24 hours I am so unwell about it omg, like reader being forced to go through this big opulent ceremony and her (used to be hers, Ghost's now) knight on one knee genuinely viewing this as legit and an honour?

Ghost being a right bellend about it as well, commenting on how much she suits his colours with all the finery and jewels of his house. Might have to give her extra peircings so she can wear more, only right now that she's his. Wouldn't it be nice to dangle a jewel off of her that matches the one in Johnny's collar?

You and Ceil are going to murder me I want to put you in a jar and shake you how have I turned into someone who keeps turning everything into petplayyyyyy 😫

For reaslies thanks so much for sharing all your creativity with us, love to read it ❤️

i am 100% serious when i say it takes me actual effort to not turn everything into petplay. especially with JOHNNY?????? he wears a COLLAR in the GAME like i am only a human i can only resist so much

also you're so sweet tysm!!!! thank you for reading the stuff i post haha

ceremonial collar has me 👁️👁️ he's soooo proud of it :( signifies that he's like The Guard or smth like that and he's worked sososo hard to earn it, he's always got his head held real high so everyone can see it proudly displayed on his throat, right in ghost's colors hnggg

also a massive party thrown in her parents throne room, decorated in the colors of his house, and johnny receiving a medal with his colors and his symbol (there's a word for this and i can't think of it leave me alone)

also. ghost putting something on the collar with his name and adding the princess (not quite queen yet) name under his :( points it out to her when she's straddling johnny, says "look at our pretty little pet, doesn't he look so good with our names?" cause johnny's still her pup too :( he still loves her and wants to take care of her :(

also. oh my FUCKING god. ghost doesn't collar her because she's queen but watchful eyes will note that she wears a charm matching johnny's from one of her ears. im so obsessed with that idea. he pierces her himself, tells her to hold so still and kisses her tears away if she cries :(((

[crystallinestars]

OMG thank you so much for your response 😭 You always answer very kindly and in a detailed manner ahahah it is always fun to read your posts ! For rant, where to begin… I’m straight up typing this on a document so that it’ll be easier to organize gyahahah. I hope the readers do not see this as an assault on certain people, just an exchange of ideas 😁This is like 1250 words, enough for a uni essay, I feel that at some points it may be rather incoherent…

So I guess I will start with the shipping thing ! So when it comes to Kaveh ships, I see that it is like 99% with Alhaitham. I guess it is because of the way the game sets them up. Not only do they live under the same roof but iirc they have extensive voicelines about each other. I won’t deny that they play an important role in each other’s lives! Like back from their Akademiya days when they were still friends and collaborated with each other, and then when they had their falling out, and then Kaveh falls into financial ruin and inevitably ends up turning to his former friend for help (much to his own shame and chagrin). If they’ve known each other for this many years, it is natural that they would have many things to say about each other. 

However, I guess this also opens up the way for BL fans to interpret this in a romantic manner. Ofc they could feel free to ship as they’d like, but just taking into account the ones who are so insistent that any other ship must be wrong, I will detail the following… 

For people who have been in each other’s lives for a long time (I’m thinking 10+ years for these two), it isn’t out of the ordinary to talk about each other. I talk about the people in my close circle a fair amount, same with the people I know. It doesn’t need to imply a secret crush. And regarding their interactions, they often throw shade at each other. This is also interpreted in a romantic manner by many fans. If we look at this in a more positive light, I remember a guy player noting that their kind of interaction is similar to IRL male friendships. Guys dissing or making fun of each other with no deeper meaning to it. Bros being bros kind of thing. But if we look at it critically, I would say that a relationship where they’re arguing all the time… is not ideal. Like a commenter on Reddit said something that stood out to me, that Kaveh just looks so stressed when he’s interacting with Haitham. 😅 Looking at it from this angle, it makes it difficult to romance the two ahahah (not because of a “problematic” aspect but rather because it isn’t fun watching them just constantly arguing and Kaveh being miserable from this). 

To digress a bit, my ideal Kaveh ships would be either Kaveh+Lumine or Kaveh+Nilou. The former because Lumine in his hangout quest helps him a lot, like helping him deal with his past and with many of his issues. Also I like the idea of Kaveh accompanying Lumine during her travels, nice way to keep her company. 😁 And for KavehLou their romantic+artsy personalities and their shared cultural connection!!! I feel like Kaveh would legit treat Nilou like a goddess ahahah and Nilou would definitely cheer him up when he’s struggling, and both of them have super good vibes so it’s 💯 green flags all around. I also want to see them celebrate Nowruz together… ahahah. 

And this kind of ties into my next point that because of the whole shippy thing, Kaveh is rarely seen as his own character. This is evident when you look up his name on Twitter. Most of it will be him with Haitham; the fandom treats him like he is Haitham’s add-on. For comparison, when I look up my other fave Scaramouche/Wanderer, I actually get art of JUST him. Not with Kazuha, Childe, or even Lumine. Just straight up Scara. Kaveh doesn’t get this solo treatment because much of the fandom just sees him as an extension of Haitham. The thing is that Kaveh is one of the most human and relatable characters in the game: he wants to be a good person, yet he does struggle with having his own personality flaws. He has financial struggles that he’s barely clawing his way out of. If we disregard his genius and extraordinary academic record, I think most people could see themselves in him. In other words, I’d say that he is a very solid character. I think it’s about high time we give him his own chance to shine, without feeble scholar getting in his way ahahah (no shade to you, Alhaitham !). Let Kaveh be his own person!

And another point I would like to make, it is something that is of interest to me because it does involve different cultural perspectives. Kaveh is commonly interpreted as “feminine.” There is no shame in being a feminine man. However, the basis of this interpretation is 1) his appearance and 2) his expressive behavior. Regarding his appearance, I think it is because he styles himself in a particular manner that people automatically assume he is “___-coded.” To address this, I’ve seen Iranian Genshin players explain that historically, it wasn’t uncommon for Iranian men to wear jewelry, dress flamboyantly, and enjoy the fine arts. But to outsiders’ eyes, doing these makes him “less of a man.” It is like how some male k-pop idols are seen as “girly” or even “gay” by many in the West, but for women in many east+southeast Asian societies they are perfectly acceptable men. Just that when they see him as “feminine” it often verges into fetishization territory… I’ll try not to play pixel activism here, but ngl it gets really gross and weird at times. A few weeks ago I had the misfortune of laying my eyes upon a Haitham+Kaveh fanart where Kaveh was basically (sorry for the description in advance) Haitham’s belly dancer/slave?? Of course fanartists have the freedom to draw whatever they want but this image was pretty much a symptom of how the fandom views Kaveh. 🙁 Even one of the well-known Iranian Genshin enjoyers called this out as fetishistic and orientalist (the latter term is often thrown around with regard to Sumeru, but I think that this instance actually warranted its use). 

In addition to his appearance, Kaveh is a very emotionally expressive man. He wears his heart on his sleeve. Because of this, this further contributes to fans thinking of him as “girly.” So I guess men aren’t “real men” if they are open with their emotions, if we go by the logic of the fandom? Haitham and other characters seen as “masculine” e.g. Diluc and Childe are given the “masculine” treatment because they demonstrate far more restraint with their emotions, while Kaveh gets the “uwu I’m a lil bbygirl in need of saving” treatment simply because he doesn’t hold back when it comes to his feelings. So from this there’s like so much stuff of him as “ohhh submissive prettyboy 🥺🥺🥺” instead of taking into account other aspects of his personality, like he could actually be assertive especially when dealing with annoying clients. It does him a true disservice…

I feel that I’m missing many more points that I’ve considered before, if I ever remember them I will probably send them in… I hope it does not come off as some sort of crusade call, but rather just an outpouring of thoughts. And hopefully this is a decently entertaining read ^^;;;;

WELCOME BACK!!! I have been waiting for your lovely essay on how Kaveh gets done dirty by the fandom, and it made me so happy to see you and I share a lot of opinions in common on this! (That's a lot of text though. I don't mind the length at all, but I'm surprised the word limit let you hahaha)

To your amazing analysis, I respond to you with an essay of my own.

I completely agree with your points that people who have known each other for a long time would naturally have a lot to say about each other. Even if they haven't known each other for long, when people live in close quarters together, they definitely have things to say about one another, especially negative ones. The bickering Kaveh and Alhaitham have is expected since they're roommates, and on top of that, roommates that had a falling out as friends. Their relationship is a bit strained since neither wants to admit they were wrong in the past due to their pride.

I work 5 days a week with a coworker of mine, and I have a lot to say about her because we work closely together. Does that mean I'm romantically attracted to her? No, not at all. Quite the opposite. Unfortunately, this logic doesn't apply to fiction quite so easily, and I'll cover why in a bit.

The point about them acting like real-life guy friends is also very true, although I think their relationship fits a sitcom more closely. I know someone who said Kaveh and Haitham's relationship reminds them of Leonard and Sheldon's from The Big Bang Theory. Two guys living together, constantly bickering and throwing shade, but caring about one another deep down.

Lord, I can write a whole separate essay on why I think Kaveh and Alhaitham don't work as a romantic couple, but I won't do that here. This post is already gonna be long. Maybe another time.

However, I do want to say that while you make excellent points on how Kaveh and Haitham's relationship isn't inherently romantic, there is a very big BUT to all this. And that's Mihoyo.

As an anime game developer, Mihoyo knows all about the anime community. After all, the founders were all otakus, they know what kind of audience they have. They know what is popular, and what's popular is BL. There is not a single excuse anyone can give me that can convince me otherwise that Mihoyo didn't know exactly what they were doing when they wrote Kaveh and Haitham to be roommates. They didn't have to write them to live together. They didn't have to write all the extra dialogue where they mention each other. They didn't have to do the matching key idles, the references to the other in their birthdays, or introduce Kaveh through Alhaitham TWICE. They knew how their audience will interpret their dynamic, they had the option to structure it differently, but they still went through with it. It was deliberate.

Kaveh was introduced with Haitham, and ever since, they have consistently been shown together. It's as if they are literally glued to each other. Can't go a single birthday, event, quest, or otherwise without the other being present in some way. It is all intentional. Their interactions and cameos carry intent behind them that shippers pick up on, and that intent is to appeal to their group. So while it's erroneous to claim that Kaveh and Haitham are canonically in a romantic relationship the way a lot of toxic shippers are doing, there is a good reason why they think so. Mihoyo is actively encouraging this mindset by not allowing either character to shine on their own, but rather as a pair because they know this appeals to a subsection of their fanbase, and a large one at that.

As for your Kaveh ships, I agree 100%! Lumine is a good choice for sure (I say this as a kavelumi shipper *gets shot*), and while I don't ship it, I understand the reasoning behind Kavelou, and think it's cute. Nilou would be a really good influence on Kaveh. He always laments about how nobody understands his passion for the arts, but Nilou would. They're both artists that are trying to eke their own path in a society that doesn't appreciate art. Nilou, as you mentioned, would cheer him up, and I think Kaveh would also find peace of mind through her dancing. Kaveh needs someone optimistic and kind like Nilou.

While we're on the topic of Kaveh ships, I would also like to suggest my own that I really like. Kaveh x Candace. Please don't shoot me. Candace is strict and no-nonsense, so she wouldn't let Kaveh get away with constantly self-sabotaging himself. And unlike Haitham, she is gentle and almost motherly, so she'd be more successful in getting through to Kaveh and soothing him. Or so I like to think. Kaveh would also help her see the outside world more, maybe have her accompany him through the desert and show her beautiful sights she'd never see by staying cooped up in her village. Plus, he's literally helping to construct a library for her village! There is so much potential for them to bond over Aaru village yet Hoyo keeps pushing the same relationships, I am so tired-

But of course, for me, the best ship of all will forever be Kaveh x You/Reader. On my blog, every guy I write for loves you, and only you. Please don't kill me.

Carrying on, you are right in that Kaveh isn't seen as his own person. You'd be hard-pressed to find (popular) art of him that doesn't imply Haitham in there somewhere. Is it so surprising, though, when even the game developer treats them as a package deal?

I feel you, it's a pity. Kaveh's character is very complex and one of the most realistic. When I read his backstory, I couldn't help but think as if someone in Mihoyo put a part of themselves in his character. The struggles he goes through are realistic, painfully so, even. I've also seen lots of artists say they relate to Kaveh. He has so much to explore about him, but I fear that outside of the Darshan event and his hangout, we'll never get to see more.

Okay, so. I have mentioned before on this blog how I am annoyed at how Kaveh is viewed as feminine and submissive due to his appearance and emotional nature. You've already touched on all the points, so excuse me for sounding like a broken record, but I have A LOT to say about this.

There is nothing wrong with being feminine. There is nothing wrong with being a feminine man. What is wrong, however, is associating femininity with submission.

Kaveh has traits that are often associated with femininity, which, as you pointed out, are his neat and pretty looks and emotional expressiveness (the bit about Iranian men traditionally wearing jewelry is super interesting, btw. I didn't know, so this was enlightening!). To this, I also want to add that lots of people think he acts like a nagging wife with Alhaitham. That's basically all it takes for people to slap him with the "feminine" label, and treat him as if he's a submissive, blushy, uwu bbgurl I want to delete this term from existence

I know that men the West views as "feminine/girly" are often popular among women in Asia, and it really just comes down to culture and a matter of taste. I share their taste in men because I also find K-Pop idols and smooth-faced, slim anime guys more attractive than muscular and rugged men, and by no means do I think they're girly. But alas, each culture has expectations for how men and women are supposed to look and act, and it's led to more harm than good.

It's also unfortunate that Kaveh gets compared to Alhaitham a lot. Alhaitham is what one would call traditionally masculine. Muscular, stoic, reserved, aloof, etc... But especially the muscular part. Kaveh isn't muscular, and as we saw in the Darshan event, isn't athletic. This difference in physique is also a reason people call him feminine. I saw someone say (in a shipping context) that they prefer Kaveh to be submissive because Alhaitham is taller and bigger than him. Nothing wrong with wanting a sub Kaveh, but I find this reasoning very flawed. Fetishistic, if you will.

And yes, the "one man is a dom/top while the other is a sub/bottom" mentality follows a lot of BL ships. People literally fight with each other over who they believe should be the top or bottom. There are even specific emojis for it. Don't know why people are so hung up about who tops or who bottoms, but what do I know. I don't understand the appeal of BL at all 🫤

Gosh, I'm sorry you had to see that belly dancer art... I once saw a ship art where Kaveh wore a wedding dress while Haitham wore a suit. It wasn't a silly context, either, but a serious and romantic one. I really dislike seeing art of Kaveh being feminine or acting submissive because that's not him at all.

Please look at this official art. Look at how Kaveh casually stuffs his hand in his pocket, at how he sits with his legs spread wide without a care in the world, at how he slings Mehrak over his shoulder. Look at how confidently and casually he carries himself. His body language screams "masculine".

Kaveh is confident, prideful, assertive, bold... I could go on. These are also traits usually associated with men. I mean, look at how he talks about one of his seniors in his hangout!

He's got quite the mouth and a temper.

He's not shy, far from it, actually. He's not submissive. He's not a dainty damsel in distress than needs someone stronger to help him, because in actuality, he's resourceful and intelligent.

Kaveh is self-assured in his masculinity. Sure, he's not a big, buff man, and he wears his heart on his sleeve, but that doesn't make him less of a man or weak. Maybe physically a bit, but I don't think he's below average in terms of strength. He makes up for it with his smarts and invents things to circumvent his shortcomings. This part of him gets overlooked, because he gets compared to Alhaitham. It doesn't help that the two are always seen together lately.

In my humble opinion, Kaveh is more of a dom than Alhaitham will ever be. Haitham gives me vibes of being someone who's too lazy to put in the work in bed, so he'd rather lie back and let his partner lead. Meanwhile, Kaveh isn't afraid to go after what he wants, and will pamper his partner.

In conclusion, you are very right about everything. If Mihoyo wasn't purposely throwing ship crumbs at every opportunity, then Kaveh potentially wouldn't have had his character assassinated by the fandom. Every character gets mischaracterized to some degree (I weep for Childe), but unlike most, Kaveh's mischaracterization is largely in part due to shipping.

Apologies for the massive tangent. I had a lot of fun reading your analysis and mentally screaming "YES! YES! SHE GETS IT! I'm not the only one!", so thank you for sending this in. Don't worry, it was very well put-together, probably better than my rambling. I found out some new points, and had a few of mine validated, so feel free to send another essay if you think of more things. I love deep and thoughtful discussions like these haha!

[2aceofspades]

I have a serious question. So, do you fully comprehend how awesome you are? Because damn. You’re legit one of my fav artists. You just consistently churn out these heartfelt masterpieces—sketches, doodles, finished or unfinished, they all MEAN something. You’ve also ALWAYS been so nice to talk to. I often get discouraged by the lack of interaction I get on platforms when I try to go outside my comfort zone and reach out, especially on Twitter. But any time I’ve asked a question or made a comment, you always take the time to respond and that’s just…so kind of you. So considerate. You don’t have to do that, but you do and it’s just lovely.

Anyway… I randomly remembered you saying that you didn’t feel as comfortable drawing Donnie and I just have to say that, whether it feels more comfortable now or not, he looks fantastic! Then again, every character you draw does! And of course Leo is my fav—my comfort character—so I’m not going to lie, it’s fun to see you draw so much of him.

I just can’t get over all the details in your work. I’m no artist, but I can appreciate how much emotion goes into your art. The squiggly lines when someone is nervous, the specific looks in their eyes, small details like scratching when anxious (I know I commented on that on a previous post)—you’re just so great with showing emotion!

Okay, okay. Gushing done… for now. Hope you have a fantastic week and thank you for being your awesome self!

Oh my stars waaaah-

When I tell you that I was not prepared for such a lovely and sweet ask oh boy-

I'm like...literally almost speechless oh my shining stars in the sky 🥹 like, I'm struggling to respond without blubbering too much oh jeez-

Just...thank you so much, seriously. Putting emotion and meaning into my work is what I always strive for, so for someone to recognise and compliment that...it just means the world to me. I am so honored.

I also have definitely felt discouraged at times when interacting with posts and such. I do my best to not take it personally, but I understand that sometimes...it's difficult. I do my best to respond to asks, comments, etc., even if I'm a bit late with responding. I know I'm not perfect and I can be a little scatterbrained, but I really do enjoy engaging with y'all. I have such a lovely following, and I love giving back to y'all as well <3

Ah, yes...Donnie...my sweet sweet Donald. I still think he looks very stiff and wonky when I draw him...especially f!Donnie. His shell...confuses me. But! Thank you for your kind words and your support! It definitely helps pep me up to draw him some more hehe 🤗✨

Also, I have to comment on Leo cuz he's also my favorite and my comfort character as well :3 I love drawing him even if sometimes he gives me such grief. I don't wanna think about how many times I've drawn that goober 😶

Anywhizzle!

Thank you again so so SO much for such a wonderfully kind and thoughtful message 🥹 I really appreciate you taking some time out of your day to send so much kindness my way. It really means a lot to me 🙌💙✨ Gah- I hope you have a fantastic week as well!

[joyswonderland1108]

This is for so-called OT7 Army

A gentle reminder that if you preach about being OT7 but refuse to vote for or support a member simply because of their solos, then kindly remove that lil 7 you dickhead.

Your hatred to solos should not be the decision maker for you because at the end of the day it is hurting the artist that you apparently love too.

You are free to root for whoever you want simply because they are your bias, you prefer them, you love them more, but using a lame ass excuse such as "I can't give akgaes the satisfaction of their fav reaching the top so i'll stay stubborn and support my fav or anyone that isn't their fav really"

Now please tell me how are those cunts who think like this even considered OT7?

Did i know beforehand that the same energy won't be returned if Jimin was to move to second place? YES VERY. I did mention it in a comment that if Jimin was to ever be in second place they would say "A lot of people didn't like the previous decision therefore vote for whoever you want". Also, If Jimin or JK were already in second place to begin with, tweets asking to focus on either one of them from supposed OT7 accounts wouldn't even exist.

When i tell you that my boys only have their solos and their OT7 stans to back them up and stand up for them, i'm not even joking.

I did see some other members stans who spoke up about this whole bullshit too so i would really like to thank them for reasoning with logic.

Some people wanted to get smart and qt or comment with SS from polls where "Army" voted the most for the option where they should just vote for the member who is leading in a category, but let me tell you why this is stupid.

First of all, you are dealing with a toxic ass fandom this should've already been the first red flag.

Second of all, this is just Twitter we are talking about, just a stan account(s), not some official page, not some official announcement that made it to the news. Many people don't follow everyone, many people are not as active on Twitter as other people, many people were just not on Twitter for some days, many people aren't even on Twitter, many people simply didn't vote.

Third of all, how do you even know if the votes are legit or not? Just because you seem like a nice person online how would i know if you didn't encourage your friends to vote for a certain category? How do i know if some people don't have 10 Twitter accounts they vote from for the same category.

Which leads me to the conclusion that making a decision based off of a fuckass poll in a social media platform is the most unreliable, most drama started shit ever. This is a HUGE fandom, but i'll take the numbers i used as an example with my friends: Let's take a group of 100 000 people, you made a poll for them, only 1000 of them got to vote on that poll before the timer comes to an end and the result of that poll is out. Tell me how on earth is 1000 people voting a reliable way to make a decision for the other 99 000 people?

Seriously, i hate how after all that these accounts start a victim fest the whole "I'm trying my best" and all the cries. Trying your best and avoiding tricky situations are two different things. Starting something knowing damn well whatever the result of it is will create drama later is absolutely unwise, don't just dive into doing something that you can't manage, if you can't manage a fandom with millions of people in it then please stop jumping on shit thinking you're doing a favor for everyone, you're just creating even more division and getting members even more hate.

For fuck's sake is it that hard for people to sit down and think carefully about shit before starting fires? Literally a whole useless ass drama when they could've just shut the fuck up.

Don't even tell me to vote for Jimin or for JK if they were the ones leading if you are NOT a Jimin or JK focused account because then even if one or the other is leading, saying it like that is still unfair to other members, unfair to other member's stans, unfair to people who never even agreed to a stupid poll or those who never even knew it existed.

Again. we are not blind, we see how shit unfolds and we (when i see we i don't mean solos) adapt to the situation, you don't need to fucking mention it, just stop creating chaos, stop creating division. We need a fandom cleanse, not more drama and more wars ffs.

Salutation.

[recurring-polynya]

Hello, I hope I'm not being weird here.

I just wanted to pop in and say I'm a huuuge fan and longtime tumblr follower, and have been reading your work for ages now. I just never got the courage to engage when you and the other handful of Bleach fans are talking on my dash hahahaha.

Your interpretations of their Renji and Rukia are basically canon to me -- I don't think anyone else has done as much work to capture their voices and dynamic as well as you have. The 2 of them have had me in a chokehold since I was waiting for Bleach updates every Thursday on Onemanga at the tender age of 11 (16 years ago!!), and they still have me in a chokehold now -- I credit that to your excellent writing and analysis. In a smallish fandom (and a smaller-still ship), it's so comforting to know that there're still people who're still here and still care enough to engage with the material.

I love how you write the vice-captain posse also, their workplace (and off-duty) shenanigans give me joy, especially now that I'm no longer 11 and, like, get it.

I'm delighted that Damage History is up after seeing your updates on Tumblr, and am saving it as a treat for after my finals. I'll leave a comment on AO3 when I read it - HKShadowWorks if you wanna know who I am!

😭😭😭💕💕💕

Thank you so much, this was such a sweet note!

Also, please know that I am just a normal, boring person and no one ever needs to be nervous to talk to me. I am actually an incredibly shy and anxious person in real life, all of this ::gestures at blog:: is just a bit that I do, where I try to be kind and talk about the manga that I love and share my work even when it's not perfect and gush over other people's fan creations so they will want to make more.

Even for a quiet ship within a (currently) quiet fandom, I feel like it's gotten even quieter lately. Maybe it just feels like that because a lot of people on here I really like have gotten Overcome with Life Stuff, or moved on to other things. It may just be legit quieter since the anime is on break for now. Sometimes I think about giving up on all this, except that a) lol i am not going to stop, what else am I going to do? and b) if I stop making incredibly niche posts about the decor in the captains' offices, that's one less person out there making niche posts about the decor in the captains' offices. My point is, thanks for writing in! It is nice to hear there are people out there enjoying my work.

I hope you enjoy the fanfic! A story is only half a story until someone has read it, and I'm really enjoying hearing people's reactions to it. Good luck with your finals and thank you again for all the nice compliments, they have been very good for my heart!

[13eyond13]

Who are your top 5 (or top 3) favorite characters from Berserk? And why you loved them? And your top 5 favorite moments from the series? Thanks.....

I think I kinda only have 4 main faves, really? And that's probably a pretty obvious bunch (Guts, Casca, Griffith, and Puck). I got attached to them all in the first arcs and then stuck out the rest of the stuff mainly just for them without getting extremely attached to anybody else (though I do think the rest of the story is definitely worth reading, and there are many amazing things that come later on as well).

(Warning for spoilers below):

I love Guts because I just cared about him and what happens to him way more than I initially expected I would. I think he's very relatable to me personality-wise and just not your typical macho protagonist guy in some pretty interesting and unusual ways. I also like that he's both kind of simple and complicated all at once and not just a corny noble typical hero type guy, but not completely boring and edgy and nihilistic either. It's a fun blend. I felt a ton for Casca as well and just thought she was very sympathetic and tough yet vulnerable too. I think Griffith's idealism and ambition makes much of the intriguing drama and plot happen that I actually care about in the story, and that he's definitely a complex character that's maybe the most fun one to analyze in a fandom sense. And Puck is just that cute little voice of reason / comic relief sort of character who keeps you going when Guts is being particularly grim and surly and difficult to connect to and when the story is verging on way too dark and bleak, and since he's with you from the very start it's hard not to get attached!

Some Top Favourite Moments (I couldn't narrow it down to five):

-Guts's interactions with Theresia, the Count's daughter / that entire scene in the Black Swordsman Arc: Maybe a bit of an oddball choice, but I distinctly remember that this part of the story was surprising and interesting to me in a good way because it just showed some sides of Guts's character that I didn't expect, and made him seem a bit more unusual and interesting of a character to follow in my eyes. I felt like his weirdass/awkward dark advice to her to just kill herself if she really didn't want to live anymore was obviously because he himself had gone through something like that as a kid and then come to that conclusion based on his own survival instincts as well, and just spoke a lot about how strange and rough his own life and upbringing and worldview probably was, to see that as sincerely good advice to give to a kid at that time? It was different than what you'd expect a typical hero to say or do, and the fact that Puck comments on it like "dang, he's not even trying to be an asshole or mean, he legit thinks that's a good thing to say to her" made me laugh as well, because that was the impression I got from it too. It was also surprising to see him like tearing up afterwards? Idk it just marked a moment to me where my interest in the story and in Guts as a character deepened and changed a bit, so I like it for that!

- Guts and Griffith's first swordfight:

So good and iconic and also perhaps one of the most homoerotic things ever to be put on a page

-Guts holding his sword up to the moon and deciding he was gonna fight for Griffith's sake

- Guts and Casca's first kiss: I kinda get the feeling from most Griffguts fans that it's not super popular to have and share positive or warm feelings about this pair, but I thought the moments between them like their first kiss were actually so cute. I thought it made sense for them and their relationship at the time, and was nice to see them both having a soft and warm and consensual moment with someone else that they trusted that way

- Guts explaining how Griffith is the only person he can't stand looking down on him to the rest of Band of the Hawk:

Another moment where Guts pleasantly surprised me as a character, this time with how self-aware and forthcoming he was about his thoughts and feelings on this front. He's a pretty close-lipped character about such things and also pretty private and secretive most times, so whenever he does share those kinds of feelings I'm just like !!! and very invested in what he has to say. I also didn't expect the story to take this direction so explicitly, and thought that his prioritizing of his relationship with Griffith over everything else would remain background and buried in his subconscious at best, so I was pretty intrigued that this part actually happened at all

- Guts and Griffith's second sword fight in the snow:

So many interesting things going on between the main three characters here, and I feel like this was one of the most suspenseful parts of the story to me, I was having actual like heart racing physical reactions to it. I also love how it teases the audience a bit with certain clever fake-outs and whatnot, like making you think this is probably going to be how Guts will lose his arm...

-Griffith's visions of his childhood self / guilt about his dream:

Anytime we got a glimpse right inside Griffith's head was a fascinating treat for me, and I think the scene of him being guilted by the God Hand over his childhood dream was a fantastic bit of writing and artwork, and so important to the story as a whole.

-The Eclipse (up until that one scene):

You love to hate it and hate to love it, basically? It's an awful and traumatic time, but also just so effective at doing what it's supposed to do and such a great buildup of dread for this extremely climactic scene, and the horror of it all is super well done to me (though once it gets to the Casca and Femto part it lost me a bit, because I did not like how tastelessly that was depicted at all)

-Griffith's frozen heart starting to beat again:

There's no way that's just because he's fused with the Moonlight Boy or whatever, right? Love the idea that there's still a kernel of his old vulnerable self in there that he couldn't completely kill

-Casca's healing: this was such a LONG TIME COMING and I was so glad it actually happened and that Miura got to depicting that part of the story before he passed, I felt like it actually took 1000 years, and it was one of the major things keeping me reading due to wanting to see it resolved

[dat-silvers-girl]

Hi Akemi - I'm reaching out here again because Youtube is being stupid and not showing/saving my comments once again. -_-

I enjoyed your video on the Durmstrang TLSQ and I'm glad that not doing most of the TLSQs anymore is proving to be good for you! :) When you mentioned how alike you and Pieter's school experiences are, "Brand New Best Friend" from the Phineas and Ferb movie started playing in my head. XD I also made this meme recently about Hogwarts Mystery TLSQs then vs. now - maybe it'll give you a chuckle. Anyway, I don't know why Youtube is being difficult again, but since I couldn't comment successfully on that video - I'm looking forward to seeing some Lego Harry Potter content on your new channel if you decide you are interested in playing that! Also, if I recall correctly, you have a birthday coming up soon, so I hope you have a great one! Cheers!

~Josh

Me who's been waiting on your comment all day: YOUTUBE WHAT THE FU-

This meme is so accurate, like remember when TLSQ's were actually a special event to be excited about? 😅

Honestly, this TLSQ kind of put into perspective how the difference between Durmstrang, (and by extension, my school), and Hogwarts is night and day. I pretty much grew up like Pieter, with the difference being that I was an obedient kid- and even my near perfect obedience wasn't enough for most adults. I pretty much zombied my way through life because I never discovered anything new at that age. So it's legit nice to see Pieter being so optimistic upon seeing a new side of life.

In my opinion, this TLSQ matches the quality of the early TLSQs, at least when it comes to plot a new characters. I know little of Durmstrang. From what few facts I had seen in Goblet fo Fire, I wasn't expecting a very pleasant individual. Pieter literally threw all my expectations out the window. I absolutely adore that he is well-aware of his flaws, and that he's ready and willing to admit when he is wrong, and to learn the right facts. All I could think about playing this TLSQ is how Pieter is clearly showing that it doesn't take much to be a decent person. I can totally see Sarahi and Pieter becoming good friends even in my own headcanons. Screw you, Merula!

Also YEAH my bday is in a couple days! Thanks! :D

Btw I saw your dm. I just didn't know how to respond to it. I just did that on the asks since you sent one.

[thedawningofthehour]

Hiii! I feel a little late to the chapter 32 party but I just finished it. I made a short list (there’s so much more I could’ve put in it) of some of my favorite things from the new chapter:

1- I love how in character everything feels! I don’t have a direct quote but I have the scene where Leo just got back to the lair and the narration brought up how he just pressed the key on the keyboard and spun around just to be cool. I know that might be obvious but it really stood out to me and it hit my funny bone in the right way.

2- I really enjoyed reading about Obscurial-Swann syndrome. It’s a random like but I found it really interesting. 2.1- Also, the side note of Draxum not knowing how to delete his browsing history was hilariously accurate. He feels like the kinda guy who wouldn’t know anything about googling and using the internet because he used encyclopedias and textbooks for everything.

3- This is something we can all agree on but I really enjoy reading the conversations between Gale and Tigerclaw. You really stepped into the murder uncle role for this chapter. The honesty and care and familial love is incredible. I just love their relationship so much.

lastly I did have a question, sorry if this has already been asked before. How do you think Gale will feel about Hungin, Mungin, Cass, and Tigerclaw once he becomes Donnie again? I don’t think he would really harbor that much ill will against them because they were all so nice and genuinely cared for him (as well as the fact the cass is under the hypnosis as well, if i’m remembering correctly). Thank you so much for all your hard work. Remember to take breaks, drink water and eat full meals!!!! <3

Bro the chapter's been out for 36 hours. You're not late for anything.

Seriously, I would very much prefer people take it at their own pace and talk to me when they get to it. It's honestly really disheartening when I put a bunch of work into a chapter, get five comments on it the first day, and then radio silence until I put the next one out. And besides, this was a long chapter. I figured it would take most people a little bit to get through. (plus a lot of readers are high school/college students-I released it on a schoolday, and y'all got homework)

LEO IS JUST SILLY THAT WAY. For real, writing little actions and stuff like that is real useful for breaking up dialogue, but then I have to, like, figure out what they're actually doing while talking. It's actually harder to do with Leo's sections that Gale's, because Galois is always using various tools and doing crazy shit that literally no one other than him would understand nor expect to understand, so I can mix shit up and keep it completely vague and it's still on-brand for him. Leo-what the fuck does Leo even do? Half the time I just have him On The Computer, like how Ken's job is Beach. What's he doing on there? I dunno! I just didn't feel like even pretending to make up a reason for him being on there and I don't think he did either. I think he legit said he was going to go upstairs and Look For Donnie on his laptop and gave no thought as to how the laptop helped accomplish that. He just pulls out his computer and clackety-clacks away because it makes him look productive.

Yeah, I do try to keep out the Harry Potter references, because fuck JKR, but in the same vein you're never going to undo the effect HP had on popular culture. HP stuff is pretty much universally recognizable and sometimes it's either use HP references or go something more obscure-and in a case like this, where I'm describing a made-up condition that I don't even define in the story, it could be very confusing if the audience doesn't make the connection. (also the other half is a Twilight reference, so it's doubly cursed)

Oh, and if you noticed, it's spelled differently for both Gale and Tigerclaw, because Tigerclaw is pronouncing it wrong. :D

Draxum probably doesn't even fucking know what a browsing history is, let's be real. It's a good thing he's gotten really into this dad roleplay thing and hasn't Googled anything about mind control or how to deal with your kidnapped son's estranged brothers.

Huginn and Muninn, hmm, I'll have to think about that. I haven't really thought about them in the epilogue, to be honest, they kind of just flit in and out of the story when convenient. I can't see him blaming Cass, she's as much a victim as he is. Tigerclaw-I mean, to be fair to Tigerclaw, he's operating on limited information. Draxum told him that Galois is his son. Why should he doubt that?

[inukag]

Hello, so I'm not heterosexual (I'm ace) and as you can tell I do like one of those ships in the poll. I thought your language was very harmful. Now, I'm not here to say those characters are nice people but that doesn't mean their fans like them because they are "hetero" and just like a hot guy. They are good characters and had cool dynamics with Kagome (yes that's subjective and you might disagree with it but some people did enjoy it). I do agree that Sango should have been on the poll but there are legit reasons people enjoy darker ships or enemies to lovers trope, they can be engaging to some. So to dismiss it as just "hetero girls liking a hot guy" is very bad. The reason I'm sending you this ask is because I think you are a good person and might recieve well my comment. I considered sending an anon but I wanted you to "see" me as we talk and I hope I don't get any harassment over this from others. Anyway, thank you for reading.

First of all thank you for sending this message non-anonymously! I know it can be stressful but it is definitely better for discussions. If I see anyone sending you hate over this I will fight them personally.

When I said “this fandom is painfully straight” I did not mean “every single person who likes these ships is straight”, that would be ridiculous. But it IS a straight ship. My point is that gay ships are almost never taken seriously in this fandom, as shown by the fact that people ship Kagome with all the male characters she canonically doesn’t like before shipping her with girls that she actually likes. I find that sad. Literally the only gay ship in this fandom that has a sizable fanbase is Inu/sess, but that’s another can of worms.

I’m not here to change anyone’s mind about sess/kag or kog/kag, I’m very much a ‘ship and let ship’ person. Those ships have existed for years so I know very well that me saying “Kagome Higurashi would never canonically love these guys” is not going to change anyone’s mind. So I’ll spare you the whole rant but I’ll say that I’ve read some sess/kag stuff (Raindrops and other fanfics I found years ago) and I’ve never seen Sesshomaru portrayed as anything other than a kind, suave, gentleman who saves Kagome from Inuyasha the toxic, two timer. His canonical racism and lack of empathy for others is gone. So I have a hard time believing people when they tell me they love the ship because it’s a “sexy villain/heroine, enemies to lovers ships” lol. Anyway like I said, I’m not going to change your mind and you won’t change mine, so no need to argue about this.

Also for added context regarding the “gay ships aren’t taken seriously” issue, a couple weeks ago a bunch of people on Twitter (inukag shippers) made tweets saying they were “disgusted” by the fact that many people headcanon Moroha to be a lesbian. That her blushing at and complimenting girls is “not evidence that she’s gay” and that the “real canon” is that she will end up with Koga’s son (who doesn’t even exists in any Inuyasha media!!!). It’s not an isolated issue with Sesshomaru or Koga fans, as I pointed out the people doing this were inukag shippers and they were called out by other inukag shippers. This fandom as a whole is just not the most friendly when it comes to lgbt+ stuff.

So yeah, I have nothing else to add. I don’t see how my language was harmful if I’m being honest. Regardless of people’s own sexual/romantic orientations this fandom mostly talk about and support straight ships. This isn’t really a call to action either, I’m not telling people what to ship, I was just jokingly pointing that out and hoping that next time people would just consider the fact that gay ships exists as well.

Thanks again for the message and I’ll take this time to remind everyone following me that I use the tag #<ship/character>-critical tag when I criticize stuff, so you can blacklist that if you follow me and don’t want to see negativity about characters or ships that you love. I didn’t tag my first reblog of the poll so that’s my bad, I’ll go back and fix that.

[seriouslysam8]

Fan/Reviwer Appreciation Post: Mention one or more fan(s)/reviewer(s) who brighten your day. We all know that all reviewers are special, but I'm talking about the ones who make you grin, giggle, and get thrilled when you read their review because it's so comprehensive, and you look forward to it every time. It simply motivates you to keep writing because they appreciate it so much.

Gosh, I am so lucky because I have some fantastic readers who review every single chapter. Even if it’s just a “nice” or a “great chapter” or whatever. I love those reviewers so much because I get it. I’m a shit reviewer too. I never know what to say but I always leave a little something so you know I’m there and loving it.

I have to shout out @bellmel because, while you don’t get to see her reviews, she sends me some great reviews in her edit email. She adds little emojis to the document which I love and she highlights parts she loves.

Another shout out to @funbunnypotter26 because she legit gives me live commentary of her reactions on discord. I cannot tell you how much she makes me laugh because I will anxiously await certain parts for her to get to. Then she spoils me by also giving short reviews that you all can see.

The MVP award has to go to @ravenclawrockchick because, uhh, have you seen her novel of a review she sends me each and every chapter?!? One day AO3 is going to come at her and say she left too many comments on a single story and kick her out. She makes me laugh. Special mention to Cookie the cat because she legit reads her stories to her cat. She purrs when Sirius’s POV happens so, you know, she’s my favorite cat for that.

Special shout outs to @corneliaavenue-ao3 (you always make me smile and laugh at your reviews), @curse-04 (your attention to detail is fantastic!), @myrtle_warren (I don’t know why it won’t let me tag you but I know you’re here, your reviews always being a smile on my face), @enigmaticemperor (your reviews always seem to inspire me), @prewettpotter (you always make me smile with your reviews), @anagpotter (you’ve been around since day one and I just adore you), @hinny17 (you are so kind), @gryffindorhealer (for always being around to answer my medical questions and being so kind), and so many more!!

I know I’m missing more! I went to the last chapter to browse through the reviews and I know there are people missing who normally review as well. There’s so many of you that are just amazing and I’m not sure if you all of you have tumblrs that I missed because there were definitely more shout outs.

Thank you all!!

[hassianlovebot]

i wanted to say thank you for your nice comment on my tamala gifset.. i was legit scared i'd get nothing but negative comments since the majority of fans seem to hate her

oh no problem! your set was beautiful!!

and yeah i get what you mean. i mean,, i guess i kind of understand the hate but some of it seems so,, weird too? like hassian is my favorite character my special little blorbo even, and tamala leading him on and breaking his heart like that sucks no doubt!! but also like,,, i support women's rights and women's wrongs!!! she's hot!!!!!

ajkdhg but seriously even beyond her being really attractive, i think she's also really interesting and i'm hoping that the devs have more planned for her! her using magic is SO interesting and i can't believe some people are ignoring that just because of what happened between her and hassian! i mean don't get me wrong, people are allowed to dislike characters, it's all fiction it's whatever yknow? but i also kind of thought people got past that whole "if a character is evil or morally not the best, that means you can't like them or you're fucked up" like,,, what happened to liking hot lady villains 🤨

[breadandblankets]

:pulls up a chair and plops my chin in my hand: pls talk about your aus

kai my beloved i care you so (lmao this is going long no ragrets)

okay! so lets talk calamity jason, this is just an excuse for me to 1) reread some old faves 2) read some new faves cause i want to understand the blorbos and 3) shove more headcanons than can possibly ever fit into my lil tumblin posts

so this whole thing started as an off hand comment to local of @/localizationed fame about how jason kinda reminded me of hua cheng lmao (theyre also obv very different but the comment was Enough) and i was like lmao what if jay was just Literally a vengeful ghost and then AUs

i really want to explore chinese jason here, as lady shiva being his mom is one of my favorite theories (which is basically supported by canon, plus or minus a little tweaking) also!!! jason and cass being siblings with vastly different philosophies of violence and justice as products of their respective upbringings are just so fun to think about

im also including duke a Lot in my story plans just cause 1) i like him and 2) i am giving jason a lot of sky/sun/stars symbolism and there is one other bat that has that in Spades it feels wrong to basically give jay some fusion/solar flare powers without Also including duke's meta powers (even if at this point in the story duke legit didn't exist)

this is shaping up to be a very jason cass duke story line, steph will be showing up pretty soon (as indicated by the ending of chap 5!)

i want a satisfying ending with some good dad bruce im sorry for the haters but i like it when bruce has any amount of character development, doug thomas is already holding the weight of me projecting my dad onto him, he needs the backup (actually dukes parents are really a chance for me to fulfill my quota of giving One of these mfers good parents)

this is literally the header of my working document, it sums up my feelings on the direction this is all going quite nicely

jason as a vehicle for my rage at the writers who killed off steph without so much as a by your leave? its more likely than you think

okay here are some rapid fire fun things

jay misses chinese micky d's something fearce, he doesn't know how to explain that its Much Better than US McD, luckily distance shortening arrays are a thing

he has a distance shortening knight chess piece, black water loves him a Theme

i have a crack scene written of jason calmly flipping over tables in metropolis when he wants to Really Fight

black water spritzed him with water when he was bad, but because hes black water, he just summoned a jet of water and made the spray bottle sound with his mouth

if i was going to have duke's parents jokerized i had a whole thingy where jay takes him in but because thats not going to happen, im thinking about duke's parents low key adopting jay (because who Wouldn't want more parents)

jay has a "demon mode" that he lives in when he's doubting his humanity, it would be big sexy if it wasn't so gosh darn sad

thank u kai, im sure this is more than what was anticipated but i can (and will) talk about this au for hours it has subsumed my brain

[sin-cognito]

*HIGH KICK* hey saw u reblogged a thing :3

Who’s your least favorite character from UT? (i hate to say it, but i think mine... is that little yellow bird who helps you across the gap >.>' I JUST LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH...)

Favorite battle?

Your reaction when you saw Omega Flowey for the first time?

Your opinion about bad puns? (i used to not really have an opinion on them, but now... i legit love them ^^' whoops lol)

Hi hi Rosey!!! ♥ Thank you for always being in my notifications! ♥♥

1. My least favorite UT character is Mettaton in his humanoid form. I have nothing against him as a character and I do think that he's well written and has a nice design (and okay, nice legs), but he just reminds me of someone that I'd much rather forget so I can't help but not like him. I just get annoyed whenever he gets any 'screentime' when reading fanfics... I do like his robot design though, so I don't completely hate him either! ALSO HOW DARE YOU NOT LIKE THAT ADORABLE LIKE DUCKIE!!! I LOVE DUCKIE AND I LOVE DUCKIE'S SONG!!!!!!

2. My favorite battle... Yeah it's got to be Papyrus' fight. On my first playthrough I had so much fun that I would intentionally quit the game mid-date without saving to start again from the start of the fight. I think I did that 3 or 4 times before I proceeded with the rest of the story! XDD I also really liked Undyne's fight and I didn't even suck at it too much!! (I have to admit that I only played pacifist, I probably wouldn't be making this comment if I had had to fight the Undying version...)

3. I hope I'm not gonna make anyone worry about me but I kept thinking 'you better not have a heart attack mid-game, you better not have a heart attack mid-game!' I had had a lot of the game/story spoiled already by this point, and I already knew that Flowey was an asshole, but somehow the fact that he turned into that giant photoshop chimera had eluded me, so it really too me by surprise!! Fun fact: I didn't die during his fight, and I thought it was a feature of the game, that it was meant to be this way, until I saw someone complain online that the photoshop Flowey fight was too hard and they kept dying...

4. Bad puns are awesome and I've always loved them!! I don't even understand why they're called 'bad' puns when they make me laugh so much! So yeah, I don't love puns because of Sans, I love Sans because he makes puns!!

I talk way too much, I'm sorry!! XDD

Undertale asks meme

[dreamwritesimagines]

I've found you a couple years ago through one of your fic and I stayed and kept reading them all even though I knew nothing about the characters and the Fandom, cause I really love the way you portray every single one of them, it makes it feel like I know them but in reality I don't, the way you write in general is amazing but honestly it's really lovely to read your response to all of us, even the way you address us with cute names. It makes me feel like we are close to you, even though none of us know each other. Your blog is like a nice and safe space, and you sound like a really lovely person that everyone would have the pleasure to know. Thank you for always being so kind, it's really nice and a pleasure to just read your answers

Omg darling, you're going to make me cryyy❤️ This is incredibly sweet of you, and you've made my day with this! ❤️🥰

I'm so happy to hear that you decided to stay even if you didn't know the characters or the fandom❤️ I think that's also one of the very interesting things about fanfic, I sometimes end up reading fanfics without having watched/read the books or the show and such as well!❤️

You are very close to me! 🥰 You should see me whenever I get an ask or a comment or like, interact with you guys in any way, I legit giggle at my phone and smiling at the screen ❤️ I get very excited and very happy! 🥰

It means so much to me to hear this omg ❤️ I really want this blog to be our like...our small happy corner on the internet where we can feel good and talk to each other and get away from stress and just feel happy 🥰 I'm so grateful for all of you and I love you so much! ❤️

Thank you so much for being so kind and amazing my love! ❤️❤️❤️

[thewingedswine]

Can I ask what it is about this fandom you find unfriendly? I've been feeling the same a little and I've been feeling alone in this.

Long winded rant, hold onto your buttcheeks.

I’m going to put this out there for anyone who feels afraid to say it, and that’s only because this particular fandom is the ONLY fandom I’ve ever experienced this with. I’m a big fan of marvel and dc, sci-fi and fantasy, I show dogs, I train dogs, I make leather goods, and those are all cutthroat communities with their own problems but I’ve never felt uncomfortable in any of those the way I am in this one,

So here goes; I hope this helps some of the people like me, who really love Avatar, but don’t like the fandom environment.

I think the biggest problem is with the NeteyamxOC pairing niche- which seems to be the biggest subcategory in the fandom.

I’ve seen in the comments sections of several Instagram and tumblr posts(Neteyam pictured or written with oc’s, mostly) where a bunch of mean-girl antagonist harpies will emotionally body each other and the OP and claim Neteyam as if no one else has a right to pair an OC with them?

UM EW? SO WEIRD AND CULTY. thank god none of that happened on any of my posts or I would’ve had to slam my head in a door.

then there are the purists, who reprimand you if you change the traits of any of their favorite characters or portray them in a way they don’t approve of- this has happened to me several times, which, fair, I suppose. I did something heinous with a character in my story(he gets a redemption arc later but that’s not the point. I should be able to write anything I want, and while I value free speech, it’s like? Why are you getting so mad? He’s a fictional character, just DNR my fic and move on to something you like better, it’s not that serious)

There’s also people reposting artwork that I spent a lot of money on and not crediting the artists, but I feel worse for the artists because you can have all the money in the world but you will never get your time back, and I feel like it’s fucked up that they aren’t at least getting the recognition they deserve on those posts that these stupid poopybutthole assdicks are making.

That could go for any fandom, but I think it’s worth mentioning.

Lastly, both my direct and indirect interactions with a select few people who are VERY prominent in the community have just… left a slightly bad taste in my mouth…? Like nothing explicitly bad happened and if you ask all three of them they will probably go “oh no, me and that person don’t have a problem!” But just… if those three incidents were translated into equivalent in person interactions, I would’ve felt extremely bullied. You could call that me being sensitive, or a number of other things, but that’s just plain how I feel.

It’s a shame because I looooove love love all the fics people write in every aspect and pairing of the fandom, and can recommend you so many amazing fics that were written so much better than mine by such fucking nice and pleasant and humble people tbh, I legit would lick the bottom of their shoes if they asked me politely enough

It’s just those few hundred OTHER people that have made this a bad experience for me🤣

So there that is, this place and some of the hostile NPCs that inhabit it make me feel like I either need to curl into a fetal position to mourn the loss of common sense on the internet, or step into a rage room and never come out,

And the more I think about it, the more I feel like stepping away is a good decision for me.

Maybe when I come back people’s buttholes will have loosened up and I can walk around in the bountiful fields of Avatar/NeteyamxOC fanfiction again like a floppy golden retriever puppy without having to look over my shoulder for a poacher with a sledgehammer, but until THAT day,

(But not before I’ve made my last 2-3 posts by the end of the week)

I’m peacing out, buh-bye😂💕