#also tehee silly cof refence

[gh0st1nth3wa11s]

Posting the fic seperate as well!

Heavily inspired by @/feathered-moths-ablaze 's post about Spooker and his feelings about P.I.E. :3

Cw!!/ Alcohol / Suicide mention / Implications of a fight.

Toast groaned, rubbing at his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. The past 3 months had been rough, Ghost had left for 'retirement' as he had called it and soon ran off, not willing to deal with the screaming match he started that night. Toast pulled his hand away, blinking his eyes open to the seemingly blinding light of the sun, eyes trailing around to find Spooker peering over him with that same, damn near, terrified look in his eyes. Toast reached up with a hand and rubbed it across Spookers face to get him back up. "Bloody hell, Spooks, I'm fine." He muttered, british accent much thicker at the rate of his exhaustion, probably still a bit drunk from the night before. Spooker scrunched up his face, taking a step back. "Okay, okay! I just... wanted to make sure you're breathing." Spooker looked over at his boss worriedly, watching him sit up at an attempt to comb his hair back into place. "I wanted to make sure you didn't do anything stupid.. or vomit in your sleep.." Toast rolled his eyes, red, and his eyebags were puffed from what Spooker assumed was crying. "With all of my greatest respect, plonker, I'm not going to kill myself just because Johnny is gone for a while." Toasts voice came out with a hiss, shoving the blankets off of himself. Spooker nodded, cringing at the words that Toast said. He didn't think Toast would do such a thing... but it never truly hurt to be too careful. "Besides you calling me an idiot, I know enough of your past from Ghost and your 'I'm a wonderful British guy with two sets of parents and rich and powerful-'" As Spooker spoke he mimicked Toasts voice, it dropping some and a bad British accent accompanying it. "'I'm British. I drink tea and smoke cigarettes like it's breakfast lunch and dinner-" Spooker stopped the accent but kept his voice low and serious. "But god damn it, Johnny, I know signs when I see them." Spooker stepped back, as if he was bracing for something, for Toast to come at him for speaking back to him. "Fred." Toast started, gently turning around and scanned him up and down. "I.. I apologize." He took a gentle step back, showing Spooker that he wasn't going to yell. He wasn't going to respond the same way Ghost did with Spooker. He turned again, letting Spooker watch him put his robe on over his tank top and over pj pants that were grey, patchwork sewn half hazardly onto them. Ghosts pajamas. He tied it closed, soon glancing at himself in the mirror, eyes flicking to Spooker. "My insomnia is coming back.." Toast commented, pushing his hair out of his face with both hands.

Spooker nodded, busying himself with grabbing the bottles of alcohol that sat around the bed and the beside table, sighing as they clinked together. "Smoke a blunt, have some melatonin." Toast raised his eyebrows. "Did. Did you just tell me to smoke a blunt?" "Yes. yes I did." Toast scoffed, rolling his eyes.

It was a long hours later, Toast had forced himself to sober up to do paperwork, sipping off his flask occasionally. It was nighttime now. He was sitting at the dinner table in HQ, whiskey bottle in hand. Spooker inched his way in, moving around Toast to make dinner. "Where's Chris?" He asked, sitting back down in the kitchen chair, creaking as his weight shifted as he crossed his leg. Toasts left hand found its place on the chairs armrest, tracing the indented wood - Ghost would scratch at the armrest with his fingernail, Ghost had scratched at it so much he needed to sand it down, making the perfect spot for his own thumb to rest. Toast scooted down, pressing his back into the chair as he stretched his legs out, soon crossing them loosely. He held the bottle by the neck, blinking as he forced himself to come back from his own thoughts. "Spooks -" He was cut off as Spooker shushed him harshly, listening to the faint voice-mail from Chris. 'HE'S IN FUCKING SWEDEN! HE'S IN FUCKING SWEDEN! JOHNNY IS- Y'know- for being supposedly 'never off the grid' or whatever he fucking said. He's really good at just FUCKING DISSAPPEARING! I've had my suspicions about that son of-' Spooker hung up, huffing and setting the phone on the counter. "Col' found him, Sweden apparently. He's been at the police station for almost a day now. Surprised they let him use their EQ even after he quit and joined us." Toast nodded, setting the whiskey bottle down on the table and his hand soon found his pocket, pulling out his case of cigarettes. It was a metallic blue with his initials engraved on the front of it. Toast flicked it open, pulling one from its spot and snapped it closed again. "Damn, I didn't know he pocketed that much money on the way out." He hummed, tapping the cigarette filter against the table, packing the tobacco tighter in it. "Yeah. That's like. at least a thousand.. for a ticket there, and then the money change.. and .. yeah.." Toast looked over at Spooker, watching him trail off. Spooker was biting at his left dimple piercing. Toast watched the star spin against Spookers cheek. "Whats eating you?" He mumbled, lighting the cigarette.

Spooker shifted, crossing his arms. He closed himself off. "Ah nothin'..." He muttered, Turing to the stove to put the food on low heat. "Ginger.." Toast started, soon causing Spooker to turn around and lesn against the warm stove. "Talk to me. after all this I can't keep constantly speaking like a rubbish man and let you sit here and not speak at all-" Toast rambled slightly, "You let me faff off half the bloody time-"

Spooker sighed loudly, causing Toast to cut himself off. He cleared his throat and turned his attention back to Spooker.

"I don't.. think you guys like me, " Spooker moved his head down, avoiding eye contact now. "Just, I know that you've told me it's just how Ghost is. But I can't help but think you feel the exact same way about me. I have been thinking a lot about what Ghost has said in the past.. what he said to me during him leaving. That.. I think is what hit me the most. the whole "Get your hands off me it's not like you contributed anything like I have to this company!' " Spooker waved his hands, mimicking Ghosts body movement from the moment, micking the venom too. Toast nearly choked on his whiskey at the last bit. "When the bloody hell did he say that-?" Spooker looked up at him for a moment. "You didn't hear that?" "I guess not- I must have been half sloshed by then." The ginger nodded looking away. "Yeah, and just... that hasn't sat with me right.. and I've kinda let it take over my head- I.. uh." He paused, "I'm going to turn in my letter of resignation after things calm down."

Toast put his hand on his chest. "The Fuck?-" He snapped for a moment, shrinking in his chair as he saw Spooker flinch. "Fuck, 'M sorry Fred." He started, taking a moment to collect his thoughts. "I'm not going to tell you no about turing in your letter of resignation." Toasts voice shifted, seemingly more sober - a voice he would use on phone calls and in pre-mission prep talks. "But I will advise against it fully. I apologize for not making it seem like you are fully initiated in the team." Spooker squinted at him. "How did you know about tha-" He stopped talking as Toast held up a finger. "I apologize for Johnny's behavior as well, that isn't polite of him, and im sorry that I didn't step in to catch this behavior prior to these events." Toast knew he couldn't comment much on Ghosts behavior, he could barely get a wrangle on the smaller man when he was upset. "I do like you." He said simply, finally drawing from the smoke that had been burning away in his hand. Speaking again quietly. "I don't know why he speaks like that.. he likes you too, it's just how he is. he's scared of letting people in and doesn't know how to do it in a safe manner." He said, letting his hand with the cigarette rest against the table. "You've been a great contribution to this team, even if no one has told you that enough. Your great at fixing technology and taking over stressful situations. You quickly became the token mom friend of the group and stop us dead in our tracks to help clean a wound. You do wonders at picklocking, hell. surprisingly your good with hand to hand combat. I also... gave you I think, a 2 dollar raise for these past few months. For an extra thank you for dealing with me and staying by my side. You're a wonderful person Fred. I understand if you would like to leave, I just hope your next job will be as much fun and chaos like this one." Toast stood up, switching his cigarette to his non-dominate hand, holding his right one out to shake Fred's hand. "I want to apologize for my own behavior as well, you shouldn't need to babysit me like you have. But i appreciate it greatly nonetheless. You are a wonderful, wonderful ginger bloke. I am absolutely chuffed to bits to have had you as a member of P.I.E. I am sorry that this job here wasn't as good as we had planned it to be." Toast smiled warmly, hoping there wasn't too much pain showing in his eyes. Spooker just stood there, looking at Toast flabbergasted. "Fre-" Toasts words were cut off as Spooker had jumped up to hug him, his grip tight. Toast wrapped his arms around Spooker tightly, feeling him heave slightly from a soft sob. "Oh spooks.." He said gently. His hand reaching off from Spookers back to the knob on the stove to turn the burner off - soon returning to Spookers back. Spooker rested his head on Toasts shoulder, sniffing softly. "Fuck... sorry sorry.." He muttered, going to pull away but Toast hugged him tighter. "You're fine, just stay a moment.." He said, resting his head on top of Spookers.

Spooker took a moment, Toast reeked of tobacco and whiskey. Spooker knew damn well he still reeked of that paprika he had spilled all over himself earlier. He pulled back finally, sniffling as he wiped his nose with his sweater. "Ugh.." He muttered. "Thank you... I'll reconsider my resignation letter, boss.." "Johnathan." Toast corrected gently. "Or John, Johnny, I don't mind what you call me, but boss is work only." He joked. Spooker smiled, nodding. "Okay John.-" He shook out his hands, bracelets making a small noise. "Euugh! that's so weird to call you by your name now! that'll take forever for me to get used too." He said playfully.

Spooker turned back to the spaghetti, plucking the lid off of it. He grabbed the spoon, stirring it slowly. It was wonderful to have that weight off his shoulders, it had stressed him out so so much for the past few months. Maybe once this all calms down with P.I.E. maybe he won't quit, he'll stay. He couldn't think of another job that would be even a slim close to how cool this one was. They catch ghosts for christ's sake. Spooker was grinning at this point, aware that Toast was watching over his shoulder that whole time.

The harsh knock on the door made both of their heads shoot up. Toast made the move to the door and Spooker moved to begin to make plates for the three of them.

Toast whipped open the door, grunting softly as Chris shoved his way past Toast and set his bags on the kitchen table. He reached into one of them, pulling out a bag of Evidenve from the police station he was just at. "Johnathan." Toast peered over at Chris with the bloody hunting knife in the evidence bag. His eyes widened, taking a small step back into the living room. "Oh fuck me!" He exclaimed. "You have so much explaining to do John." Chris hissed. Spookee stood there, two plates in hand and listened to the other people bicker. "Hey guys.. guys-" He rolled his eyes, raising his voice. "HEY! Shut up, sit down and eat dinner." He barked, the two men obliged, arms crossed as they sat across from one another. Spooker gave them their plates, and a can of soda to thr both of them "Its spaghetti, but I used leftover bacon grease to cook the sausage and the scraps of bacon are in it too." He walked back over and grabbed his own, standing between them, by the side of the table. "There are orange and red peppers in it as well as mozzarella cheese, and some Colby jack as well. Be civil until the both of you are done, yes that also counts if the other wants seconds.." He glanced between the two of them, smiling softly. "Mom energy." Chris mumbled, Toast nodding in agreement.