#also sucks being a lord of fortune with a panic attack inducing fear of drowning but woe ! near death experience be upon ye
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damn... octavia "rook" laidir's chokehold on me !
#personal#my ocs#i think about her every day. she makes me feel fucking insane. and i haven't even made her yet#a pirate a thief a murderer a terrible sister a faildaughter. and yet !! and yet !!!!!!!!!#she not only doesn't quit she will go and go and go and go until she starts falling apart. she is a dog with a bone in all matters#i'm going for a kazuma asogi vibe with her honestly LMAO like the way she is just SET on what she believes and will not let it go#also sucks being a lord of fortune with a panic attack inducing fear of drowning but woe ! near death experience be upon ye#recruiting [redacted] is a nightmare scenario for her. she said yeah let's go in. in there. in the ocean (freaking out)#and to catch feelings for a grey warden of all people. the person most likely to either tragically sacrifice himself or just Die Young#octavia taking a drink of vodka straight from the bottle like Is anyone else having one of the years of all time or is it just me#and on top of all that !! she eventually has to accept that her sister wants nothing to do with her anymore#she has to finally confront that forgiveness is not guaranteed and that their relationship may just be truly over. even if she says sorry#and that kills her a little bit bc she does genuinely care abt her family. but she made some egregious choices years ago#and now she has to live with the quencies !!!!#and she's selfish enough to want to avoid that. like. she doesn't even necessarily want to be her sister's bestie--#--she just doesn't want to be punished for her mistakes. she isn't Aware of that per se but that's what it is#she's a fuckup she's a loser she's a liar she's headstrong and stubborn and deeply caring and so in over her head#OCTAVIA THE WOMAN THAT YOU ARE IN MY HEAD !!!!!!
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