#also sqx’s whole story is just. so painful but perfect

[matimatti]

So i finished tgcf this week

[princeofvelvet]

Which do you think is more tragic, Yi City arc or BeefLeaf arc or the Fallout between Shen Jiu - Yue Qi?

the Shicest arc is especially painful because I just love SWD so much. And not just him but his relationship with his brother which is Central to the arc and (imo) acts as a perfect foil for the main couple's story. It's so intense!! The way SWD protected SQX!! He loved him so much that he couldnt sit around and watch him suffer, that he had to rewrite fate for him!! morals be damned!! His love for his brother is stronger than the possible consequences of committing atrocities against nature!! THIS is some MXTX love right here that parallels the main couple's whole deal of creating your own path, even if fate says youre cursed, even if you were cursed. SWD actually DID!! Even at the end, when Blackwater stops him from strangling SQX, telling him he doesnt get a "third path", that he has to choose between the two fates he's chosen for him, SWD STILL finds a third path, and gets Blackwater to kill him, sparing his brother of having to do it himself, and sparing himself of having to watch him live a painful life. It's selfish and selfless at the same time.

THAT BEING SAID, Yi City is just straight up TRAGEDY in the way that aristotle would eat Right Up. The way XXC's tragic flaw is exploited. His blind slaughter of helpless people!! You can see his impulsivity to Do Right, to Save people!! His impulsivity to make it up to SL led him to lose both eyes, then his impulse to save people got a lot of people killed, then the impulse to save his friend got his other friend killed! all by his hand! all while he was trying to do good!! The way he scolds XY about how his impulse to get revenge was wrong and XY shows him that his impulse to do right was Also wrong... god, the Despair of recognition, of Understanding what his actions have caused... man, MXTX is a Master at crafting tragedy

[mousehole5000]

the rest... of... book 4..... through chapter 225

i sad.

“He was lying to himself and lying to others! All nothing but deceit! No matter what, it was impossible to pretend nothing had ever happened, and it was impossible to return to before!!!” - i know :(

“Before Feng Xin went, he was afraid. Now that Feng Xin had gone, he wasn’t scared any longer. But, even though he wasn’t afraid anymore, he was in deeper agony.” - ah yes. being afraid of your friends leaving so you do things to drive them away so you can have something to point to and say that you were the one who made the choice and you dont have to fear it anymore. except that has never once worked out ever and turns out losing people just means you lost them and it still hurts. not that i would know or anything.....

“He saw upon the table there were a few plates of horrid-looking dishes that were now cold. They were what he made the queen take away without eating a single bite the night before. Now, he pulled them over absent-mindedly, and ate everything, not daring to leave behind a single leaf, afraid to miss a single grain of rice. After he ate he started puking.” - this broke me and the bad cooking isnt funny anymore :(

all this happens after they have money again. no further commentary on this chapter

i know for a lot of book 3 i just wanted hua cheng to go away but now i would give anything for wuming to come and interrupt these interactions with white no-face

“Lang Ying, a brute commoner, led an army and destroyed Xianle. With the aura of the king enveloping his body, ordinary evil wouldn’t be able to come close to his person. However, at this moment, what Xie Lian brought with him were millions of souls of those who died on the battlefield!” - interesting to think about this story from lang ying’s point of view. the bit about his wife and child... oh my god... the things we carry with us...

“Will it really be alright to leave him like this? How about, I give him a cup of water?” - cup of water motif is back... ouch

“One person. Just one. Really. Just one person was enough!” - for like 20 minutes after reading this i really was just sitting here thinking about every time a stranger did me a small a kindness and the times i did the same it just made me cry harder i love people and they really can be awful and choose to be cold and cruel but it means that when they choose to be kind..... it doesnt negate the cruelty but its still indescribable.. and being able to see that and remember that even after all the pain..... 

ugh still just thinking about the times ive gone through something that changed me and having the cold numb fear that i would never be the same as i was before that i would lose some precious part of me forever and wondering if this would be the thing that finally did it... i dont know if ive ever actually experienced a piece of media that really make me think about that tbh

“Stop thinking so highly of yourself! I don’t need you to teach me anything, I can learn on my own. If you represent heaven’s will, then something like heaven’s will should be destroyed!” - why is defying the heavens so sexy.... keep it up (edit after white no-face identity reveal: HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!)

the fact that xie lian went through what he did and got nothing out of it and in fact lost everything he had left due to the trauma,,,,, but just one person is enough for him to willingly offer to do it again, even if all he could save is one person,,,,,, crying again.... and who it is who takes it all on instead... ok...

“After all, everyone knew that Mu Qing ascended because he cleaned up all the remaining stubborn resentful spirits in the old capital of Xianle, so to understand it as “generous and kind” wasn’t unreasonable. In any case, everyone in the old capital of Xianle were all very grateful for him.” - its not unreasonable at all!!! this boy picks cherries for his mom and the neighborhood kids leave him alone

“Shaking his head, Xie Lian contemplated, then he ladled two large bowls of rice, one offered inside the Temple of Ju Yang, the other inside the Temple of Xuan Zhen. Finally, feeling that everything served its purpose, he clapped his hands close, completely satisfied.” - please i just want them to be friends again

ruoye........ xie lian bidding farewell to the tiny red flower.... ok i feel a totally normal amount about all these things

book 5 time!!!

xie lian king of taking a third option.. no one dies in the kiln at all we’re just leaving bitch

“Xie Lian didn’t know why he had to use his hands to cup Hua Cheng’s cheeks, but he did so subconsciously, probably so he could comfort him, but also because Xie Lian was afraid Hua Cheng’s face would be frostbitten by the snowstorm.” - gay people.....

“This giant stone divine statue must’ve been sculpted when Hua Cheng was trapped inside the Kiln, when he was severely beaten down and in intense suffering.” - ohhhh my god. okay. okay. look. i get it....

“The divine statue obeyed his command and took off with a gigantic, wide step, going along with the rolling current of snow. One slide was several miles, and the snow waves it created crashed around its body. Because both its arms were open, even though it was a body of a million tons, it still maintained good balance.” - HELL YEAH!! HELL YEAH LETS FUCKING GO LETS GOOOOO

the statue that requires transfers of spiritual energy... statue of make you kiss me i see how it is.....

“Hearing this, Hua Cheng raised his brows, his expression seeming to say, please have them beat each other to death, that’d be great.” - when you dont like your SO’s friends and they dont like you

“With a sharp sword in hand, Xie Lian was like a tiger with wings added, his might increasing exponentially, and he struck out!” - YES!!! GET EM!!!!

“No one could blame him for not knowing what was going on. Perhaps, he was confused the entire way: Why was he beaten? Why was he buried inside a wall? Why was he turned into a daruma doll? And why did he have to turn into a sword, too? There was not a single point where he’d figured out what was happening.” its okay qyz its okay i know honey me too

HELLO?? SQX IS BACK???? omg what a development omg omg okay okay interesting... okay so shi wudu would have rather died than lose everything but shi qingxuan is still trucking

“Hua Cheng responded lazily, “Oh? So you mean to say, beggars can’t save the world? Is it because they don’t have the ability to, or because they’re not worthy?” - KING okay i know this is a motivational tactic but also... who was it who took on all the souls for the human face disease and did in fact save the world back then hmmm?

absolutely enthralled by the fact that in chapter 207 we find out that the guoshi is in fact just. still here. and the name of the chapter is "Seeking Affection; Ghost King Fakes Displeasure” which i mean that happens too but fjasdlkfajsld

bruh okay. okay. okay. everything is happening okay. okay. chaos in the heavens okay. ling wen is still invited to kiss me on the mouth tho idc

“Indeed Yin Yu didn’t have enough confidence, and said weakly, “Chengzhu has shown me grace, he saved me…” “I know,” Jun Wu said. “He even helped you pacify and send off the resentful spirit of Jian Yu, who died during banishment, am I right?” - awww im glad they resolved that bit that whole situation was awful also give me the forbidden hua cheng ghost king lore...

“Yin Yu finally couldn’t take it anymore. He clenched his fists tight, his knuckles cracking, and he whipped around. “I DO RESENT HIM! I DO HATE HIM!!! BUT, SO WHAT??” - yin yu kiss me on the mouth right now

“Xie Lian hugged him. “It’s alright, it’s alright. These are all small matters, really. Your Highness Yin Yu, just live in this world for another few hundred years and you’ll know that none of that really matters. Either driven to madness or really wishing someone would die, whichever. Who in the world has never had such thoughts? I’ve even thought of massacring all in the world who had wronged me, it’s true, and no lie, I’d almost done it. But look at me, haven’t I shamelessly lived until now? You haven’t actually done anything in the end, and that’s the most important thing.” - he’s right im crying again

“But…in the end, I…still think…it’s so unfair,” Yin Yu sobbed. “If I was already destined to be no one remarkable, then at the very least, I…wanted to be a kind and perfect person. But…I couldn’t even do that. It’s really…so unfair. And truth to be told, even in this moment, just thinking that I’m dying for Yizhen, this little dummy, I still can’t get over it. I can’t even let go and die with a heart with no resentment and no regrets, what is that.” - YIN YU YOU CANT DIE NOOOOOOO youre the only man in this whole book i would kiss why does this always happen im actually really sad ;_;

“If the Rain Master was killed directly, and a better heavenly official couldn’t be found to replace her, the people put food above all else; if agriculture isn’t running smoothly, the world will be thrown into chaos. You don’t let people eat, people won’t give you a job. Besides being displeased with the Rain Master, the people of the world might also begin to be dissatisfied with the great god above Rain Master’s head. Which means, if he isn’t careful, the fire can burn all the way onto him. If things aren’t controlled adequately, it might incur riots to topple gods.” - rain master my friend rain master... also yes!!!!! food production!!!! critical!!!!!!! theres a lot you can get by without but food is not one of them!!!!!

“Feng Xin was Xie Lian’s servant, his good friend, but not his slave. He could’ve built his own home, had his own family. And he had actually already met those people, but the encounter just had to be during Xie Lian’s first banishment, the toughest days they suffered back then.” i am very sad about all of this

hua cheng in the palace of ling wen looking for the brocade immortal while the heavens are in complete chaos as the world turns on its head and STILL taking the time to beg for kisses is making me lose it fjalkdfjlsd

oh my god the guoshi and the cards thing..... hmmmm

delighted that mount tong’lu has such great significance beyond just being the kiln or whatever

hmmm crown prince of wuyong... its truly sad... but dude.....

the way that the heavenly capital is literally built out of previous gods... wow

the outright attempt to continue to cycle of trauma that failed simply bc 1. xie lian is his own person and 2. xie lian recieved kindness and gave it back to the world even to the people who refused to help him im ;_;

the absolute mess of xuan ji/rong guang/pei su/banyue/ke mo going down in the palace of ming guang... entertainment

okay i think im to a point where i dont have any possible spoiler knowledge in my brain about what happens next (only thing i have is theres a joke about he xuan eating that i dont understand yet and i think we might get like an emily corpse bride moment but if we do i dont know why) but oh my god things have escalated

[joyfulpoet]

The Lonely Wind God

Part 1

Kind of Beefleaf. I got stuck while writing the next chapter for my fic Handsome Brothers’ Daycare and started writing this. Mostly just thinking about how SQX and MY might have met and became friends in cannon. I feel it must have been mostly been SQX chasing after MY.

Shi Qing Xuan held a black and red drinking bowl in one hand while using the other to lightly rest his chin on. A smile kept tugging at the corners of his lips as his watched his companion scarf down food like his life depended on it. And maybe it did. At the moment he didn’t know much about the man other then he was mostly a recluse with a bad temper. But rather partial to food, especially if someone else was paying for it.

The restaurant that they sat in was one of Shi Qing Xuan’s favorites. It was a little hole in the wall place in the outskirts of the capital. The dishes, while maybe not the flashiest, were well prepared full of flavor. The floors were maybe a little grimy, but the staff was kind and hard working. And the wine! The wine here was the sweetest.

Before he’d ascend, Shi Qing Xuan had came here a lot with his Elder Brother. Though after Shi Wu Du’s own ascension he didn’t really have much time to play with his little brother in the human world. And while he’d made good friends in heaven, he didn’t think any of them would appreciate the place. But the Earth Master seemed like the type to not care if there was a scape or two on the floor, he’d be adding to it given enough time. And seeing how he was shoveling the food into his mouth with barely a second to breathe, Shi Qing Xuan was sure he liked the food just fine as well.

“Ming-Xiong!” Shi Qing Xuan called playfully after taking a sip of the wine in the bowl. “It’s fine if I call you Ming-Xiong right? You’re older then me after all? You seem older anyway.”

The other man paused with his chopsticks bringing steaming noodles to his mouth. He thought for a moment then shrug in a do-what-you-want sort of way, before noisily slurping the noodles. Finishing that he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand saying, “Doesn’t matter.”

It was a bit of an odd response, but Shi Qing Xuan was fine with odd. If it meant he now had someone to drag around with him whenever he wanted to play around in the human world. The heavens were nice and all, but it could get kind of boring after awhile. Most of the other officials, if not doing paper work or answering prayers, were usually lazing about gossiping. Which could also be fun in its own way, but when you’ve lived so long things tended to get repetitive. What might have been a juicy story 50 years ago gets rather dry and dusty after it repeatedly happening so many times.

The human world however was always exciting, new things were always happening. And Shi Qing Xuan liked excitement just as much as he liked his wine. Not more then wine though. Wine would always be his first love and everyone could die mad about it. But excitement of any kind was definitely his second love and lucky for him they went well together. It wasn’t hard to find a balcony with a good view at an establishment where their wine flowed like water with the right amount of incentive. And as the the very popular Wind Master he had a lot of incentives to throw around.

“Ming-Xiong, do you like it here? Is the food not some of the best you’ve had? You should try the wine as well! You wont find wine as sweet as the wine they sell here!” Shi Qing Xuan chittered away pouring a bowl for Ming Yi who continued to slurp and gulp his way through the literal feast laid out before them.

It had probably been a good hundred years into his own godhood before the Wind Master saw the other one for the first time. He’d definitely had heard of the man, but until then Ming Yi had spent very little time in the heavens, preferring the human realm. The first time Shi Qing Xuan approach the black clad man wearing a disgruntled expression he’d asked him why he’d preferred one place over the other. The man had just stared at the carefree master before him with narrowed dark eyes before replying “Fewer idiots.” Something in the way he said it made it sound more like “Go die”.

Shi Qing Xuan knew he was being lumped in with the “idiots”. He was use to it, though usually it was said with more affection. Even his elder brother would on occasion call him one. It should have made him angry that someone he barely knew called him an idiot, but for some reason this just made him even more interested in the man. After all, everyone in Heaven wanted to be on his good side for one reason or another. It made finding a genuine friend a little harder, and here was someone who wasn’t interested in the slightest! Perfect.

This current little outing was months in the making. Repeatedly Shi Qing Xuan invited the Earth Master to accompany him, and every time he was rebuffed. It was quite disheartening after awhile to be spurned so, such a feeling was so alien. Even as a mortal he’d never experienced such utter rejection! But the Wind Master wasn’t to be deterred, he’d make friends the grumpy recluse even if it was the last person he ever friended! Nothing was too lowly or shameful for him! His face was far too thick to care what others might think.

Which is precisely what he thought as he dove to capture the black clad ankle of the Earth Master after running into him while walk about the Emperor’s garden. Enjoying the sunshine, the Wind Master had seen in the distance a black figure that he’d come to know well over the past months. Excited, he’s rushed over to the man as he stood on a bridge over looking a well crafted pond with brightly colored koi swimming about. He seemed to be watching them so intently he didn’t notice the overly eager Wind Master until he was practically on top of him. Just as Shi Qing Xuan had open his mouth to greet him, Ming Yi had swiftly turned to run away. Which is how the man then found himself with a new accessory in the shape of the young Wind Master about his ankle.

With a disgruntled huff the Earth Master at first attempted to shake the man off, then tried to pry off his arms. But the Wind Master was nothing short of being sticky and not about to be budged. With a darken face, Ming Yi gave up his tugging and began to walk, dragging the man behind him. When the white clad man continued to cling to him, he veered off the well paved path onto the grass. A sadden whine escaped the man about his ankle but his arms did not loosen, even as the white sleeves of his very fine silk outer robes turned green. When this also fail to dislodge his cling-on Ming Yi found a rock path.

Shi Qing Xuan had let out a pained whimper at the sight of it, but somehow managed to tighten his grip about Ming Yi’s ankle even more. They inched closer. One step of a black boot, a long drag with the other. The Wind Master was soon faced with the very real possibility of having his stomach cut open by a million little white rocks. But he would NOT LET GO!

Two more steps.

One more step.

Sh Qing Xuan was having second thoughts about whether or not this possible friendship was worth it.

The boots stopped walking. A heavy defeated sigh came from the man above him.

“Fine. But you’re paying.”

The smile the Wind Master had been trying hard to suppress finally won out and stretched whole heartedly across his handsome face. He couldn’t help but feel pleased at the development. Ming-Xiong had even tried the wine, made a disinterested non-committal sound after trying it, but he still held his drinking bowl out for a refill. It might have been the buzz from the liquor, but he was feeling the warmest and most content he’d felt in a long time since his ascension. Shi Qing Xuan was sure he’d found someone he could share things with.

After wine and excitement, Shi Qing Xuan’s third love was company. Though this one definitely competed with his second love of excitement. Not all the company he kept enjoyed the same kind of excitement he enjoyed so it could be a bit difficult set things up so everyone was happy. Sometimes Shi Qing Xuan would rather have company then excitement, being alone was something the Wind Master could not bare for long periods of time. Growing up he had always had his Elder Brother around to keep him company along with whatever new friend he’d made. But after coming to the Heavens as his own Official, he found himself left alone more and more often. His brother was always busy being the Water Master or off somewhere with Ling Wen and Pei Ming. And it was hard to tell if the others Officials likes him for him or because he was rich and generous. Which was fine, company was company, but sometimes it made him even lonelier.