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the-fauxpas · 7 years ago

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six / spice night

uni AU co-written with @ineffably-styles

a story of late nights, unorthodox household plants, and a trip to Vegas that changes everything

“All right then!” Niall clapped his hands, a dangerous spark in his eyes. “Hope you're ready," he grinned and Savannah thought he looked almost sadistic. "Never have I ever..." he trailed off glancing carefully at everyone in the room. His eyes lingered slightly longer on Savannah and Harry before his lips quirked up into a semi-smirk. "Let's start off with an easy one. Never have I ever slept with anyone in this room."

chapter five / story page

“Someone please remind again me why we’re here,” Savannah groaned, reaching over and swiping a drink from Reyna’s bag. She’d come packed with bagged sandwiches and everyone’s favourite drink along with bottles of water in a neatly organised backpack that she’d made Zayn carry.

“I want to be here about as much as you do,” she grumbled in reply, trying to shield her eyes from the glare of the sun. “And I forgot my sunglasses too, can you believe how shit this day is already?”

“Hey, cheer up,” Zayn laughed, also grabbing a drink from the bag. “Look, we just scored a goal.”

“We did?” Reyna squinted at the scoreboard, where sure enough, the point tally had risen by one in favour of UCL. “When did that happen?”

“I’m guessing just before our side of the field started cheering,” Alexa mused sarcastically as she finished off her sandwich, earning herself a swat from Reyna. “Hey! You’re the one who asked.”

“I didn’t appreciate your tone of voice,” she replied as Zayn chuckled.

“I feel like bringing you guys here was a big mistake on Louis’ part,” he said thoughtfully.

“You got that right,” Savannah replied tiredly, eyes trained on the field. The only thing that she could gather was that the side she was supposed to be cheering for were in the blue and that one of their players was in possession of the ball. “Look, something’s happening!”

“That’s Harry,” Zayn explained. “He’s got the number 10 jersey on.”

“That makes him the attacking midfielder, right?” Reyna asked, biting into the sandwich she had in her hand. “What?” she asked, when the others shot her an astonished glance.

“Since when do you know anything about football?” Savannah asked, glancing at the field when the opposing team’s supporters started cheering.

“That was bullshit!” Reyna yelled in return. “Louis didn’t even tackle him! The twat faked it!” she grumbled. “I couldn’t sleep last night,” she explained to her friends.

“So you ended up on Wikipedia,” Alexa supplied.

“Figured I might as well learn something for today,” she shrugged. “You know how I hate not knowing things.”

“Yeah, but we’ve got Zayn to teach us,” Savannah pointed out.

“Uh, yeah,” Zayn scratched the back of his neck. “I mean, I could try and explain things to you, but chances are I’ll be wrong. I told you guys I was never any good. I used to always accidentally scrape the ball with a part of my hand and that’s like an automatic free kick for the other team. Eventually they ended up putting me in goal. They figured I couldn’t cause much damage from there. Too bad I’m like super skinny and have next to no muscle mass, so I was a pretty shit goalkeeper too,” he grinned.

“So when you said you stopped playing, did you actually stop playing or were you dropped from the team?” Reyna teased, making Zayn laugh.

“Nah, I actually quit. They threw me a party and everything, but I always suspected that was more because they were glad to be rid of me than for anything else.”

“Well, it’s -”

“That was a blatant penalty! What the fuck is the ref doing just standing there. There’s a whistle in your mouth for a reason, BLOW IT!” Reyna suddenly yelled.

Savannah looked towards the field, noting the way a group of players had huddled around a fallen body, they moved apart a little and she was able to spot that it was Harry who was wincing a little as someone prodded his ankle.

“Is he all right?” she asked worriedly.

“I think so,” Zayn replied, equally worried. “Yeah,” he sighed in relief, the worry clearing from his face as Harry clambered back onto his feet. “He should be fine.”

“What happened to him?” Alexa asked, settling back into her seat as a free kick was handed to their team.

“Illegal tackle,” Reyna answered, still scowling at the field. “The twat should have been given a yellow card for that.”

“It wasn’t that bad, Rey,” Zayn laughed.

“Harry could have been hurt,” she insisted. “It was dangerous,” she crossed her arms across her chest.

“Got a bit of a crush on him, do you?” Zayn joked, making Reyna scoff.

“According to Louis, Harry’s their best striker. I’ve got money riding on this game and if Harry’s hurt then we’re not very likely to win, are we?” she grumbled, cracking open a bottle of coca cola.

“So you’re more worried about losing the game than an injured friend?” Alexa asked, her tone holding a little bit of judgment behind it.

“Bones heal,” was all Reyna said, before glancing at the disapproving look on her friend’s face. She rolled her eyes. “Fine, if you had to pick between a painting from eons ago that no one’s ever seen before, preserved in pristine condition and Harry not breaking a leg, which would you pick?” she asked.

“The painting,” Alexa replied without blinking.

“Exactly my point.”

“Yeah, but Lex’s choosing a priceless painting, you’re just choosing yourself,” Savannah cut in, the three of them completely tuning out of the match, leaving Zayn the only one who was paying any attention to the field.

Reyna snorted. “Please, if you were given the choice of never owning another plant again or Harry breaking his leg, you’d choose the broken leg,” she said to Sav.

“While that may be true,” Savannah paused. “Yeah, I’ve got no defense. I’d choose the broken leg. Like Rey said, bones heal,” she smiled sheepishly.

“All I got from this conversation,” Zayn mused, interrupting the three of them, “is that you’d all let Harry suffer from a broken leg if it meant getting what you wanted.”

“Wouldn’t you?” Savannah challenged as Reyna crossed her arms and stared him down. Alexa was the only one who seemed to have any sense of shame for her choice.

“Let’s put it this way, if I was given a choice between passing my biochemistry unit and Harry not breaking his leg, I’d pick passing.”

“So basically, we’re all selfish.”

“Yeah,” he grinned. “At least we’re all in this together.”

“Don’t you dare start singing High School Musical,” Alexa glared at Sav and Rey.

“Us? Never,” they said simultaneously, donning an innocent expression.

Lex merely shook her head. “How long until this game is over?” she asked Zayn, leaving Reyna and Sav to grin at one another happily.

“There’s another 15 minutes game time, so maybe around 20 minutes?” he posed it as a question.

“So that’s at least another hour till they’re out of the locker rooms,” she sighed.

“That was a bullshit call!” Reyna yelled suddenly, making her friends jump in response.

“You’ve really gotta warn people before you yell like that, Rey,” Alexa sighed.

“It’s not my fault the referee is shit. I bet he went to a public school.”

“Hey! I went to a public school!” Savannah said indignantly.

“Yeah, but you’re different. You’re going to college, that shitty ref is not,” she grumbled, pulling out a bottle of water.

“Actually,” Zayn squinted down at the field. “I think he’s a professor at King’s.”

“That’s bloody worse! Bias is a real thing people,” Reyna ranted.

“You don’t even like football,” Sav said, exasperated.

“That’s not the point. Do you want us to lose against King’s?” she glared at her friends, who shot her equal looks of disdain at the mention of their rival university. “Exactly, then I think it’s time we cheer because Harry’s just about to score another goal,” she said happily, just as the crowd around them erupted into applause.

“So, what did you guys think of the match?” Louis asked, bounding up to them as he, Harry and Niall finally walked out of the locker rooms.

“It was good,” Reyna shrugged. “Glad we won.”

“How’s your ankle, Harry?” Zayn asked, before Louis could say anything in response to Reyna’s less than enthusiastic response.

“Just a little banged up,” he shrugged.

“It’ll match his face soon,” Niall grinned gleefully.

“Piss off,” Savannah glared at him, her cheeks pinking up as everyone glanced at Harry’s bruised face.

“So, where to now?” Alexa asked, while Harry glared at them all, seeming thoroughly unimpressed.

“I need to head home to shower,” he muttered. “Dunno about the rest of you.”

“You didn’t shower in there?” Reyna gestured roughly behind them as they all began to walk towards their respective vehicles.

“God no,” Harry screwed up his face in disgust. “It’s a mess in there.”

“Also, last time he showered, his clothes were stolen,” Louis pointed out helpfully.

“Don’t remind me,” Harry scowled. “Bloody King’s students. I don’t understand why anybody would go to that rotten college in the first place.”

“Rotten,” Louis snorted. “My nan uses that phrase when she’s talking about teenagers. You know what I predict for you, Haz?” he held his hand up to his head the way Sav had seen psychics do at carnivals. “I predict that you’re going to be an angry old man yelling at children to get off his lawn.”

“Shove off,” Harry grumbled. “I love kids.”

Alexa sighed loudly, garnering everyone’s attention. “Is anyone actually going to come up with something to do because if not, I’ve got a couple of tv shows calling my name on Netflix.”

“We’re going down to the bar to celebrate,” Niall said quickly.

“Now?” Reyna put her hands on her waist. “It’s barely mid-afternoon. I’m not going to the bar at this time like some sort of alcoholic. Give me a week or two more of classes and then you’ll find me day drinking,” she joked.

“We can meet at Zayn and Niall’s?” Louis mused. “For pre-drinks.”

“Why at our place?” Zayn frowned, thinking back to last week’s party.

“Because, it’s closest to the bar,” Harry backed Louis up.

“So it’s decided, then. We’ll meet there around five-ish?” Savannah waited until everyone was in agreement, albeit grudgingly in Zayn’s case, before she turned to face Louis. “We carpooled with Zayn, think you could drop us off home since you’re heading that way anyway?” she asked.

“Yeah, sure,” he smiled, twirling his keys around his fingers before unlocking the door and allowing them all to climb in. Savannah swore mentally as Louis cut Harry off as they made their way out of the parking lot and watched as Harry flipped them the bird in return.

It was going to be a long drive.

“Never have I ever…” Niall began, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Fuck no,” Louis spoke up, taking a swig from his beer bottle. The group had all reconciled back and Zayn and Niall’s for a couple of drinks before heading out to a bar down the road. Where they had managed to find the energy after a football match, Savannah didn’t know, but she kind of wished she had that come exam time.

“Why not? It’ll be fun,” Niall argued, watching the random cricket match that was playing in the background.

“I agree with Niall… it’s better that watching that rubbish that he and Louis have got playing,” Reyna spoke up, shooting daggers at Louis who was not listening to a word that she was saying, his eyes trained on the TV. “Besides, it’ll let us all get to know one another on a more personal level,” she grinned.

“Right, cos knowing that Niall wet the bed until he was twelve is really something we can all bond over,” Harry rolled his eyes sarcastically.

“Oi!” Niall yelled. “You said you wouldn’t tell anyone!” he grumbled, before switching the subject back to the game - much to Sav’s disappointment. “So, are we playing then?”

Savannah glanced around anxiously at everyone else. If there was a drinking game that she hated, it was Never Have I Ever.

"I'm in," Harry spoke up, distracting Savannah from her thoughts. She turned her head sharply towards him, her eyes wide. She couldn't believe he'd just agreed to a game Niall had suggested - she couldn’t believe Reyna had either. From the short amount of time that she’d known Niall, she’d pretty much gathered that he and Louis’ suggestions often went ignored...except for tonight, apparently.

"I’m in too, I guess," Zayn shrugged, rolling his eyes. "Not like I had anything important to do before you lot hijacked my flat," he said sarcastically.

"Fuck off, Z," Niall scoffed. "You’ve been sat in your room playing with paint since we got back."

"I wasn't playing with paint, you tosser," Zayn crossed his arms. "I was working on an art project."

"Really?" Alexa turned towards Zayn, her attention piqued at the mention of art.

"Not now Lex," Reyna groaned from where she was frowning over at Louis, her eyes flicking from him to the television remote in contemplation. “We know how much you love art, but once you start you’re pretty much dead to the world for the next few hours.”

"I can show you some of my stuff later if you'd like,” he said, glancing at Lex. “They're not very good though," he warned as an afterthought.

"I'm sure that's not-"

"Excuse me," Alexa was cut off by Niall, and Savannah felt her shoulders slump. "You two in?" Niall asked Savannah and Alexa.

“Yeah, ok,” Alexa nodded, making Savannah sigh when everyone turned to stare at her. “Don’t have much of a choice now, do I?” she said bitterly.

“Louis,” Reyna tapped him on the shoulder. “Turn that bloody game off and join in with the rest of us.”

“It’s England versus Australia, Rey,” Louis said, barely glancing away from the television screen.

“All the more reason to turn it off, England sucks,” she snorted. “Cricket is worse than football, if you ask me,” she retorted, trying to grab the remote that Louis held away from her reach.

“You are the most uncultured person I know,” Niall muttered, re-entering the lounge with a tray filled with various alcoholic drinks - Savannah hadn’t even realised he’d left the room.

Louis turned away from the screen long enough to roll his eyes. “The only sport you’d willingly watch is the tennis,” he raised a brow, daring Reyna to argue with him. When no argument came, he continued, “And personally, I’d rather stick pins in my eyes than sit through another year of the Wimbledon.”

“You can always check the score later, mate,” Zayn said from where he’d taken a seat beside Alexa. They’d all rearranged themselves into a small circle in the middle of Niall and Zayn’s lounge room after Harry had moved the small coffee table to rest against a wall.

“Bloody hell,” Louis huffed. “Fine. But I’m only agreeing because it’s looking like England is getting their arse handed to them.”

“As usual,” Reyna commented, only to be ignored.

“So you’re playing?” Savannah asked miserably.

“That’s what it looks like,” he grumbled, grabbing a beer from Niall. “Budge up,” he ordered, before dropping onto the floor between Savannah and Reyna.

“Who’s going first?” Alexa asked.

“We’ll go in a circle,” Niall grinned, pouring everyone a shot and handing them out evenly.

“Shots? Really, Niall?” Savannah rolled her eyes, taking her glass from Louis. “You’re going to poison us all.”

Niall let out a loud laugh and Savannah found herself wondering if he’d maybe snuck in a few drinks beforehand. “That’s just to loosen us up, Sav,” he explained. “We’re not going to take shots after every question. That’s what the beers are for. Bottoms up,” he said cheerily before knocking back his glass. “I’ll go first then Zayn, Alexa and so forth,” he waved his hands dismissively, eager for the game to begin.

Savannah sent out a silent prayer before following suit, making a face as the alcohol burned its way down her throat. She considered asking for another shot, but decided that getting piss drunk probably wasn’t in her best interests tonight.

"Wait," Louis interrupted loudly. "Do you mean shagged or actually slept? Because if it's just slept then I've slept with most of you at least once. Sometimes twice, if you're lucky," he stated slyly.

"Shagged," Niall said immediately. "I definitely meant shagged." And Savannah was sure he had momentarily glanced over at her as he said so.

She bit her lip to hide a groan as she took a swig from her beer, refusing to look over at Harry. She knew, theoretically that everyone probably already knew about the two of them but confirming it during a drinking game just seemed a lot more confronting to her; as if she was sealing the final nail on her own coffin, dramatic as that may be. So when she took a swig of her beer, she might have taken a little bit more than was necessary.

Zayn was next and she felt like she’d be a lot safer with anything he could throw at her. “Never have I ever,” he paused in the contemplative manner that she thought only he could pull off, “gotten into a physical altercation,” he shrugged.

“Fight. You mean you’ve never had a fight,” Louis rolled his eyes. “There’s no need to be so bloody formal while we’re playing a fucking drinking game.”

“Oh, piss off,” Zayn retorted. “Fight, then,” he rolled his eyes.

Then came Alexa’s turn. Savannah assumed that most people would feel comforted knowing that it was their best friends’ turn, feel safe even. But Sav found herself breaking out into a nervous sweat because while they were her best friends, they were also the ones who knew the most about her - which meant they could, with a single sentence, essentially ruin her life.

“Never have I ever pretended to regret sleeping with someone,” Alexa said quickly and Savannah breathed out a breath of air as not only she but Louis, Niall and Harry also took sips of their beer.

It was her turn next and she was determined to make Niall drink again - not that it seemed like he cared. She rather thought he was hoping he’d get to drink himself. “Never have I ever failed to make someone orgasm,” she smirked, raising a challenging brow as all four boys glanced down and away from everyone else. She was delighted when they all brought their drinks up to their mouth and took long drawn out gulps. She was even more giddy when she spotted the significant pinkness she could spot on Niall’s usually pale cheeks.

Louis cleared his throat. “Right,” he said awkwardly. “My turn. Uh, never have I ever made friends with a one night stand.”

As expected she and Harry took sips, Reyna doing the same and collectively surprising everyone in the room.

“What?” she shrugged. “He was a nice lad.”

“Who was it?” Lex asked curiously.

“Someone from uni,” she waved her off, returning back to the game. “My turn,” she said cheerfully. “Never have I ever had to ask someone if we’d shagged because I wasn’t sure.”

Savannah, Zayn, Niall and Harry all took a sip, sparking a discussion as to with whom and when and how it had happened. The only one who had been willing to disclose any of the details was Niall who launched into a detailed story about a girl he’d met named Olivia.

Harry and Savannah shared a mutual grimace - whether at Niall’s story or the reminder that neither of them had been sure what had happened the first night they’d met, she wasn’t sure - before turning away and back to Niall who was still in the middle of a story. She sighed, tracing the neck of her beer as she waited for Niall to finish his tale complete with hand gestures and sound effects that no one really wanted to see or hear.

“It’s my turn, innit?” Harry spoke once he was done in that deep, slow drawl he had. “Never have I ever,” he paused for a second, as if choosing his words carefully, “lobbed a textbook at an innocent person’s face.”

He turned to grin at Savannah, his face expectant.

“I hate you,” she deadpanned before taking a long gulp of her beer, glaring daggers at a smug Harry. “Can’t leave that in the past, can you?”

Harry scoffed, pointing a finger to the bruise that was still quite prominent on his cheekbone. “I’ve been walking around looking like a tosser who’s been socked in the face. I’m never letting you hear the end of it.”

“It does look pretty bad, mate,” Louis piped up unhelpfully. Harry’s attempts at telling the story to Louis himself had completely failed - Zayn had already texted him earlier about what happened - which meant that Louis had given him shit for getting hit in the first place, and also for not telling him about it as soon as it had happened.

“Thank you so much, Lou. Thanks for your input. It was appreciated greatly,” Harry said sarcastically.

“Alright, this game looks like it’s pretty much over,” Alexa interrupted them. “Are we ready to head off?” she asked, checking her phone for the time. “It’s almost half eight and we want to get good seats.”

Everyone started to get up and gather their things. Savannah helped Reyna pack away the empty bottles of beer, and lingered behind the group while everyone filed out of the door. Harry was still by the kitchen counter, shrugging on his jacket.

“I really am sorry about this, you know,” she said, waving her hand in the general direction of his cheek.

“I know,” he replied. “It’s ok, really. I’m just taking the piss,” he reassured her upon seeing the worried look on her face. “Come on, we should go. Don’t wanna be late.”

The atmosphere around the bar was buzzing by the time they all got there and Louis and Reyna immediately disconnected from the group to find them a table large enough to fit them all. In the end, they managed to all squeeze in a booth towards the front of the room, right in front of the mic stand after Reyna had done some negotiating with the previous two occupants.

“Look, we’ve got a perfect view of the stage,” Louis commented, setting a handful of beers down on the table and seating himself beside Harry.

“They are pretty good seats,” Harry agreed. “We got lucky.”

“Yeah,” Savannah snorted. “Lucky is one way to put it. What’d you promise them, Rey?”

“Nothing,” Reyna shrugged. “I asked nicely if they could pretty please move so we could sit.”

“Right,” Lex dragged out the word, “‘cause that always works, doesn’t it?”

“So I might have bribed them a little,” Reyna shrugged.

“With what?” Savannah asked, sipping on a beer while she watched the guy up on the stage try his hand at some standup comedy.

“Told him Louis would buy them a bottle of whatever they want,” Reyna shrugged, following Savannah’s line of sight. “This guy sucks.”

“You did what?” Louis demanded. “And yeah, he does suck. Even I could do better than him.”

“I told them to put it on your tab,” she grinned. “Not like you can’t afford it.”

“Can we go back to the part where Louis claimed he could do better than the lad on stage?” Harry cut in.

“Yeah,” Zayn nodded.

“I’d pay to see that happen. And for the inevitable show that would follow from the crowd’s reaction.”

“Oh please,” Louis scoffed, “I’ll be the best act up there tonight.”

“Oh no-” Alexa muttered under her breath, predicting what was going to happen before it did.

“Then prove it,” Harry said simply, challenging Louis with a smirk while the others watched on gleefully.

“You’ll have to do better than that, Styles,” he huffed in reply. “I’m not doing this without some form of payment.”

“500 quid.”

“Deal.” In a flash, Louis got up and disappeared amongst the tables, no doubt on his way to find the sign up sheet.

Reyna sighed. “Look what you’ve done!” she glared at Harry and Zayn accusingly. “You’re paying the tab if he embarrasses us all.”

“I’m out, I’m already five hundred quid down because of this mess,” Harry replied, looking stubborn.

“Like that was anyone’s fault but yours,” she replied, rolling her eyes before looking over at Zayn.

He sighed, “Fine.”

“Is that how you rich kids play?” Savannah spoke up sarcastically. “Bet away the amount of a person’s life savings?”

Everyone at the table looked away uncomfortably, the silence broken by a loud screeching coming from the microphone as the owner of the particular bar got up to introduce the next act.

“Wasn’t that just incredible?” he yelled encouragingly to the crowd only to be met with a light splatter of polite applause. “Now our next act is someone a bit more local to us. Enlightening us with his favourite one-liners and punny jokes, we have Louis Tomlinson!”

Louis’ entrance on stage was met with loud, raucous applause - which, Savannah thought, might have been due more to the fact that he frequented the bar every Thursday night rather than his success as a local comedian.

“Good evening, fellow comrades. I hope you’ve been enjoying the acts so far,” Louis began into the microphone. He waited for the cheering to die down before continuing, “Now I’m going to start off the night by asking you all to honour one of our own, Mr Harry Styles.”

“Oh no,” Harry muttered under his breath, eyes narrowing as Louis smirked in his direction from the stage.

"Harry's been having, well, let's just say he's been having some 'performance' issues lately. So I just wanted to reassure him - publicly - that it’s completely normal, and yes, there are medications out there to help with that. A moment of silence for Harry Styles, everyone."

“I’m going to kill him,” Harry muttered, loud enough for everyone to hear.

“Well, can you do it after he’s done?” Reyna requested, casually sipping at her drink with one hand and holding her phone up with the other. “I’d really like to get this all on video in case he’s shit.”

“I dunno, he seems to be doing pretty well up there,” Savannah shrugged, as the crowd started laughing at something else Louis had said.

“For now,” she shrugged, looking quite confident that he’d mess up soon.

“So anyway,” Louis was saying, “it’s quite hard thinking of a funny joke when I’ve got the friends I’ve got. You know, since they’re the biggest jokes anyone will ever come across.”

“I’ll help you kill him,” Reyna leaned over to whisper to Harry.

“No, no, but really,” Louis spoke into the microphone, trying to quieten the crowd’s laughter a little. “My friends can be funny sometimes. Once, when I was quite drunk, I texted Reyna - she’s the one with the phone, guys and gals. I told her that she was my moon and stars and she texted me back - and this is a direct quote - she said, ‘thank you. You’re my pluto’, then she linked me to an article about how pluto no longer existed.”

“I remember that,” Savannah snorted.

“Yeah,” Alexa agreed. “Reyna was quite proud of it. She showed it to everyone who’d listen.”

“Louis did the same thing,” Zayn leaned back, draping his arm over the booth behind Alexa.

Savannah smirked into her drink, turning her attention back to the stage. “Look’s like Louis’ done.”

“Thank god,” Harry snorted. “If I had to listen to another one of his jokes, I was walking out of here.”

“Then you wouldn’t be able to kill him,” Zayn said casually.

“Reyna would do it for me.”

“True,” she agreed. “I probably would have.”

“What would you have done?” Louis asked, sliding back into the booth.

“They’re planning your murder,” Alexa answered him.

“I can’t believe that was actually funny,” Savannah piped up, completely taken by surprise and ignoring the current conversation. “Like, people were legitimately laughing at you.”

“I like to think they were more laughing with me,” Louis shrugged.

“They’ve got shitty taste then, don’t they?” Harry grumbled in reply, still slightly annoyed that he was the first one to be roasted out of the group.

“Aw, don’t worry Harrykins,” Reyna started, cooing at him as he glared at her. “Erectile dysfunction affects about-”

“-please stop talking,” he groaned, running his hands through his hair as he sunk deeper into his seat.

“Alright, alright,” Alexa tried to calm the group, always the voice of reason. “Let’s all just agree that Louis surprised us all and that he did something that none of us would be willing to do.”

“Pft, I could do that,” Harry said stubbornly.

“Really?” Zayn perked up, leaning forward interestedly.

“No, not this again,” Savannah cut in. “We’re going home now,” she told them all decidedly.

“We’ll talk about this later,” Zayn told him as they all made their way out of the bar, leaving Louis behind to pick up their tab.

“We’re not going to be talking about anything,” he said, charging in front of the group as they made their way down the street back towards Zayn and Niall’s.

“What’s the plan now?” Louis asked, catching up to them as he shoved his wallet back into his pocket.

“We’re going home,” Reyna said, gesturing to herself, Sav and Lex.

“That’s no fun,” he grumbled in reply. “You guys are grandmas.”

“Come again?” she challenged in reply, the cogs turning in her head as she prepared for a fight. Savannah quickly pulled out her phone and ordered an Uber, just in case they needed to make a quick escape.

“Let’s just pretend I never said anything,” Louis said quickly while Harry snickered at his response.

“That’s what I thought,” Reyna replied smugly. Savannah waved to the car pulling to the kerb, before walking up and greeting the driver.

“Let’s go,” she said quickly, opening the door and moving to get in.

“Hold up,” Louis called, halting her mid-movement. “You guys are coming to the party next weekend, right?”

“What party?” Alexa questioned curiously.

“The one at Harry’s,” he replied matter-of-factly, shrugging slightly.

“What? What party? I didn’t plan a party,” Harry piped up quickly, eyes darting from his phone to Louis.

“I did,” Louis said casually, hands in his pockets as he turned towards the street and headed in the opposite direction.

“Wait, Louis-”

“We should go,” Savannah said quickly, climbing into the car. “Good luck,” she said to Zayn, gesturing towards the image of Harry scrambling after Louis while the latter seemed to not notice him.

“Thanks,” he replied sarcastically, waving as he jogged after the pair.

AN: hi guys, sorry again for the one-day lateness but it’s up! let me know what you think xx

#one direction fanfiction #one direction fanfic #one direction #1dff #1d fanfic #1d fanfiction #harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #hs fanfic #hsff #hs fanfiction #wus #fic:wus

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dazzledbybooks · 5 years ago

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Perfect for fans of Sarah J. Maas and Red Queen, this is the first novel in a sweeping YA fantasy-romance duet about a deadly assassin, his mysterious apprentice, and the country they are sworn to protect from #1 NYT bestselling author Melissa de la Cruz. Caledon Holt is the Kingdom of Renovia's deadliest weapon. No one alive can best him in brawn or brains, which is why he's the Guild's most dangerous member and the Queen's one and only assassin. He's also bound to the Queen by an impossible vow--to find the missing Deian Scrolls, the fount of all magical history and knowledge, stolen years ago by a nefarious sect called the Aphrasians. Shadow has been training all her life to follow in the footsteps of her mother and aunts--to become skilled enough to join the ranks of the Guild. Though magic has been forbidden since the Aphrasian uprising, Shadow has been learning to control her powers in secret, hoping that one day she'll become an assassin as feared and revered as Caledon Holt. When a surprise attack brings Shadow and Cal together, they're forced to team up as assassin and apprentice to hunt down a new sinister threat to Renovia. But as Cal and Shadow grow closer, they'll uncover a shocking web of lies and secrets that may destroy everything they hold dear. With war on the horizon and true love at risk, they'll stop at nothing to protect each other and their kingdom in this stunning first novel in the Queen's Secret series. The Queen's Assassin (Queen's Secret #1) by Melissa de la Cruz Publisher: G. P. Putnam's Sons Release Date: February 4th 2020 Genre: Young Adult, Fantasy Book Links: Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/39334176-the-queen-s-assassin Amazon: https://amzn.to/2WQpCSR B&N: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-queens-assassin-melissa-de-la-cruz/1131493132 iTunes: https://books.apple.com/us/book/the-queens-assassin/id1463329191 Bookdepository: https://www.bookdepository.com/Queens-Assassin-Melissa-de-La-Cruz/9780525515913?ref=grid-view&qid=1573047342544&sr=1-2 Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/gb/en/ebook/the-queen-s-assassin-5 Google books: https://play.google.com/store/books/details/Melissa_de_la_Cruz_The_Queen_s_Assassin?id=mNqXDwAAQBAJ Excerpt: Chapter OneShadowSomething or someone is following me. I’ve been wandering the woods forquite a while, but now it feels as if something—or someone—is watching. Ithought it was one of my aunts at first—it was odd they didn’t chase after methis time. Maybe they didn’t expect me to go very far. But it’s not them.I stop and pull my hood back to listen to the forest around me. There is onlythe wind whistling through the branches and the sound of my own breathing.Whoever is following me is very good at hiding. But I am not afraid.Slivers of light penetrate the dense foliage in spots, shining streaks onto theblanket of decaying leaves and mud under my boots. As I slice through thickvines and clamber over rotting logs, speckled thrushes take flight from theforest floor before disappearing overhead. I pause to listen to them sing toone another, chirping elegant messages back and forth, a beautiful songcarrying warnings, no doubt, about the stranger stomping through theirhome.Being out here helps me clear my head. I feel more peaceful here among thewild creatures, closer to my true self. After this morning’s argument at home,it’s precisely what I need—some peace. Some space. Time to myself.My aunts taught me that sometimes when the world is too much, when lifestarts to feel overwhelming, we must strip away what’s unnecessary, seekout the quiet, and listen to the dirt and trees. “All the answers you seek arethere, but only if you are willing to hear them,” Aunt Moriah always says.That’s all I’m doing, I tell myself. Following their advice. Perhaps that’s whythey allowed me to run off into the woods. Except they’re probably hopingI’ll find their answers here, not my own. That I’ll finally come to my senses.Anger bubbles up inside me. All I have ever wanted is to follow in theirfootsteps and join the ranks of the Hearthstone Guild. It’s the one thing I’vewanted more than anything. We don’t just sell honey in the market. They’vepractically been training me for the Guild all my life—how can they deny me? Ikick the nearest tree as hard as I can, slamming the sole of my boot into its solid trunk. That doesn’t make me feel much better, though, and I freeze,wondering if whatever or whoever is following me has heard.I know it is a dangerous path, but what nobler task is there than to continuethe Guild’s quest? To recover the Deian Scrolls and exact revenge upon ourenemies. They can’t expect me to sit by and watch as others take on thechallenge.All the women I look up to—Ma, my aunt Moriah, and Moriah’s wife, my auntMesha—belong to the Guild; they are trained combatants and wise women.They are devotees of Deia, the One Mother, source of everything in the worldof Avantine, from the clouds overhead to the dirt underfoot. Deia worship wascommon once but not anymore, and those who keep to its beliefs have theGuild to thank for preserving the old ways. Otherwise that knowledge wouldhave disappeared long ago when the Aphrasians confiscated it from thepeople. The other kingdoms no longer keep to the old ways, even as theyconspire to learn our magic.As wise women they know how to tap into the world around us, to harness theenergy that people have long forgotten but other creatures have not. Mymother and aunts taught me how to access the deepest levels of my instincts,the way that animals do, to sense danger and smell fear. To become deeply intune with the universal language of nature that exists just below the surface ofhuman perception, the parts we have been conditioned not to hear anymore.While I call them my aunts, they are not truly related to me, even if AuntMoriah and my mother grew up as close as sisters. I was fostered here becausemy mother’s work at the palace is so important that it leaves little time forraising a child.A gray squirrel runs across my path and halfway up a nearby tree. It stops andlooks at me quizzically. “It’s all right,” I say. “I’m not going to hurt you.” It waitsuntil I start moving again and scampers the rest of the way up the trunk.The last time I saw my mother, I told her of my plans to join the Guild. Ithought she’d be proud of me. But she’d stiffened and paused before saying,“There are other ways to serve the crown.”Naturally, I’d have preferred her to be with me, every day, like other mothers, but I’ve never lacked for love or affection. My aunts had been there for everybedtime tale and scraped knee, and Ma served as a glamorous and heroicfigure for a young woman to look up to. She would swoop into my life, almostalways under the cover of darkness, cloaked and carrying gifts, like the lovelypair of brocade satin dance slippers I’ll never forget. They were as ill-suited forrural life as a pair of shoes could possibly be, and I treasured them for it. “Thebest cobbler in Argonia’s capital made these,” she told me. I marveled at that,how far they’d traveled before landing on my feet.Yes, I liked the presents well enough. But what made me even happier werethe times she stayed long enough to tell me stories. She would sit on the edgeof my bed, tuck my worn quilt snugly around me, and tell me tales of Avantine,of the old kingdom.Our people are fighters, she’d say. Always were. I took that to mean I would beone too.I think about these stories as I whack my way through the brush. Why wouldmy mother tell me tales of heroism, adventure, bravery, and sacrifice, unless Iwas to train with the Guild as well? As a child, I was taught all the basics—survival and tracking skills, and then as I grew, I began combat training andarchery.I do know more of the old ways than most, and I’m grateful for that, but it isn’tenough. I want to know as much as they do, or even more. I need to belong tothe Guild.Now I fear I never will have that chance.“Ouch!” I flinch and pull my hand back from the leaves surrounding me.There’s a thin sliver of blood seeping out of my skin. I was so lost in mythoughts that I accidentally cut my hand while hacking through shrubbery. Thewoods are unfamiliar here, wilder and denser. I’ve never gone out this far. Thepath ahead is so overgrown it’s hard to believe there was ever anyone herebefore me, let alone a procession of messengers and traders and visitorstraveling between Renovia and the other kingdoms of Avantine. But that wasbefore. Any remnants of its prior purpose are disappearing quickly. Even myblade, crafted from Argonian steel—another present from Ma—struggles tosever some of the more stubborn branches that have reclaimed the road for the wilderness.I try to quiet my mind and concentrate on my surroundings. Am I lost? Issomething following me? “What do I do now?” I say out loud. Then Iremember Aunt Mesha’s advice: Be willing to hear.I breathe, focus. Re-center. Should I turn back? The answer is so strong, it’spractically a physical shove: No. Continue. I suppose I’ll push through, then.Maybe I’ll discover a forgotten treasure along this path.Woodland creatures watch me, silently, from afar. They’re perched in branchesand nestled safely in burrows. Sometimes I catch a whiff of newborn fur, ofmilk; I smell the fear of anxious mothers protecting litters; I feel theirheartbeats, their quickened breaths when I pass. I do my best to calm them byclosing my eyes and sending them benevolent energy. Just passing through.I’m no threat to you.After about an hour of bushwhacking, I realize that I don’t know where I amanymore. The trees look different, older. I hear the trickling of water. Unlikebefore, there are signs that something, or rather someone, was here not longbefore me. Cracked sticks have been stepped on—by whom or what, I’m notsure—and branches are too neatly chopped to have been broken naturally. Iwant to investigate, see if I can feel how long ago they were cut. Maybe days;maybe weeks. Difficult to tell.I stop to examine the trampled foliage just as I feel an abrupt change in the air.There it is again. Whoever or whatever it is smells foul, rotten. I shudder. I keepgoing, hoping to shake it off my trail.I walk deeper into the forest and pause under a canopy of trees. A breeze blowsagainst a large form in the branches overhead. I sense the weight of its bulk,making the air above me feel heavier, oppressive. It pads quietly. A hugepredator. Not human. It’s been biding its time. But now it’s tense, ready tostrike.The tree becomes very still. And everything around does the same. I glance tomy right and see a spider hanging in the air, frozen, just like I am.Leaves rustle, like the fanning pages of a book. Snarling heat of its body gettingcloser, closer, inch by inch. I can smell its hot breath. Feel its mass as it beginsto bear down on me from above. Closer, closer, until at last it launches itselffrom its hiding place. I feel its energy, aimed straight at me. Intending to kill, todevour.But I am ready.Just as it attacks, I kick ferociously at its chest, sending it flying. It slams to theground, knocked out cold. A flock of starlings erupts from their nest in thetreetops, chirping furiously.My would-be killer is a sleek black scimitar-toothed jaguar. The rest of thewildlife stills, shocked into silence, at my besting the king of the forest.I roll back to standing, then hear something else, like shifting or scratching, inthe distance. As careful as I’ve been, I’ve managed to cause a commotion andalert every creature in the forest of my presence.I crouch behind a wide tree. After waiting a breath or two, I don’t sense anyother unusual movement nearby. Perhaps I was wrong about the noise. Orsimply heard a falling branch or a startled animal running for cover.There’s no reason to remain where I am, and I’m not going back now, in casethe jaguar wakes, so I get up and make my way forward again. It looks likethere’s a clearing ahead.My stomach lurches. After everything—the argument and my big show ofdefiance—I am gripped with the unexpected desire to return home. I don’tknow if the cat’s attack has rattled me—it shouldn’t have; I’ve been in similarsituations before—but a deep foreboding comes over me.Yet just as strongly, I feel the need to keep going, beyond the edge of theforest, as if something is pulling me forward. I move faster, fumbling a bit oversome debris.Finally, I step through the soft leafy ground around a few ancient trees, theirbark slick with moss, and push aside a branch filled with tiny light green leaves.When I emerge from the woods, I discover I was wrong. It’s not just a clearing; I’ve stumbled upon the golden ruins of an old building. A fortress. The tightfeeling in my chest intensifies. I should turn back. There’s danger here. Or atleast there was danger here—it appears to be long abandoned.The building’s intimidating skeletal remains soar toward the clouds, but it’smarred by black soot; it’s been scorched by a fire—or maybe more than one.Most of the windows are cracked or else missing completely. Rosebushes areovergrown with burly thistle weeds, and clumps of dead brown shrubbery dotthe property. Vines climb up one side of the structure and crawl into the emptywindows.Above the frame of one of those windows, I spot a weathered crest, barelyvisible against the stone. I step closer. There are two initials overlapping eachother in an intricate design: BA. In an instant I know exactly where I am.Baer Abbey.I inhale sharply. How did I walk so far? How long have I been gone?This place is forbidden. Dangerous. Yet I was drawn here. Is this a sign, themessage I was searching for? And if so, what is it trying to tell me?Despite the danger, I’ve always wanted to see the abbey, home of the fearedand powerful Aphrasians. I try picturing it as it was long ago, glistening in theblinding midday heat, humming with activity, the steady bustle of cloaked menand women going about their daily routines. I imagine one of them meditatingunderneath the massive oak to the west; another reading on the carvedlimestone bench in the now-decrepit gardens.I walk around the exterior, looking for the place where King Esban charged intobattle with his soldiers.I hear something shift again. It’s coming from inside the abbey walls. As if aheavy object is being pushed or dragged—opening a door? Hoisting somethingwith a pulley? I approach the building and melt into its shadow, like the petname my mother gave me.But who could be here? A generation of looters has already stripped anythingof value, though the lure of undiscovered treasure might still entice adventurous types. And drifters. Or maybe there’s a hunter, or a hermit who’smade his home close to this desolate place.In the distance, the river water slaps against the rocky shore, and I can hearthe rustling of leaves and the trilling of birds. All is as it should be, and yet.Something nags at me, like a faraway ringing in my ear. Someone or somethingis still following me, and it’s not the jaguar. It smells of death and rot.I move forward anyway, deciding to run the rest of the way along the wall toan entryway, its door long gone. I just want to peek inside—I may never havethis chance again.I slide around the corner of the wall and enter the abbey’s interior. Most of theroof is demolished, so there’s plenty of light, even this close to dusk. Tinyspecks of dust float in the air. There’s a veneer of grime on every surface, andwet mud in shaded spots. I step forward, leaving footprints behind me. I glanceat the rest of the floor—no other prints. Nobody has been here recently, atleast not since the last rain.I move as lightly as possible. Then I hear something different. I stop, stepbackward. There it is again. I step forward—solid. Back—yes, an echo. Like awell. There’s something hollow below. Storage? A crypt?I should turn back. Nothing good can come from being here, and I know it. Theabbey is Aphrasian territory, no matter how long ago they vacated. And yet.There’s no reason to believe anyone is here, and who knows what I might findif I just dig a bit. Perhaps a treasure was hidden here. Maybe even the DeianScrolls.I step on a large square tile, made of heavy charcoal slate, which is stubbornlyembedded in the ground. I clear the dirt around it as much as I can and get myfingertips under its lip. With effort, I heave the tile up enough to hoist it over tothe side. Centipedes scurry away into the black hole below. I use the heel ofmy boot to shove the stone the rest of the way, revealing a wooden ladderunderneath.I press on it carefully, testing its strength, then make my way down. At the lastrung I jump down and turn to find a long narrow passageway lined with emptysconces. It smells of mildew, dank and damp. I follow the tunnel, my footsteps echoing around me.I hear water lapping gently against stone up ahead. Could there be anunderground stream? The passage continues on, dark and quiet aside from theoccasional drip of water from the ceiling.At the end of the corridor a curved doorway opens into a large cavern. As Isuspected, an underground river flows by. A small hole in the ceiling allowslight in, revealing sharp stalactites that hang down everywhere, glittering withthe river’s reflection. The room is aglow in yellows and oranges and reds, and itfeels like standing in the middle of fire. This space was definitely not made byhuman hands; instead, the tunnel, the abbey, was built up around it. There’s aloading dock installed for small boats, though none are there anymore.Then I see something that makes my heart catch. I gasp.The Aphrasians have been missing for eighteen years and yet there’s a freshapple core tossed aside near the doorway.That’s when I hear men’s voices approaching from the corridor behind me.Excerpted from The Queen's Assassin by Melissa de la Cruz. Copyright © 2020by Melissa de la Cruz. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may bereproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.Original Link: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/567301/the-queens-assassin-by-melissa-de-la-cruz/ About the Author: Melissa de la Cruz is the New York Times and USA Today best-selling author of many critically acclaimed and award-winning novels for teens including The Au Pairs series, the Blue Bloods series, the Ashleys series, the Angels on Sunset Boulevard series and the semi-autobiographical novel Fresh off the Boat. Her books for adults include the novel Cat’s Meow, the anthology Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys and the tongue-in-chic handbooks How to Become Famous in Two Weeks or Less and The Fashionista Files: Adventures in Four-inch heels and Faux-Pas. She has worked as a fashion and beauty editor and has written for many publications including The New York Times, Marie Claire, Harper’s Bazaar, Glamour, Cosmopolitan, Allure, The San Francisco Chronicle, McSweeney’s, Teen Vogue, CosmoGirl! and Seventeen. She has also appeared as an expert on fashion, trends and fame for CNN, E! and FoxNews. Melissa grew up in Manila and moved to San Francisco with her family, where she graduated high school salutatorian from The Convent of the Sacred Heart. She majored in art history and English at Columbia University (and minored in nightclubs and shopping!). She now divides her time between New York and Los Angeles, where she lives in the Hollywood Hills with her husband and daughter. Author Links: Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/21911.Melissa_de_la_Cruz Website: https://melissa-delacruz.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/MelissadelaCruz Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/authorMelissadelaCruz/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/authormelissadelacruz/ Tumblr: https://authormelissadelacruz.tumblr.com/ Tour Schedule: February 4th The Unofficial Addiction Book Fan Club - Welcome Post February 5th The Book Bratz - Review + Playlist + Favourite Quotes Sometimes Leelynn Reads - Review + Playlist + Dream Cast Ya It’s Lit - Review + Dream Cast + Favourite Quotes Fanna Wants The World To Read - Review Shelf-Rated - Review + Favourite Quotes February 6th NovelKnight - Guest Post Booked J - Review + Playlist + Favourite Quotes Whispers & Wonder - Review Foals, Fiction & Filigree - Review + Favourite Quotes Beware Of The Reader - Review February 7th Wishful Endings - Interview L.M. 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NWA TNA Episodes 4+5

All about AJ

NWA TNA Episode 4 Live from Nashville, Tennessee's Municipal Auditorium

Mike Tenay welcomes us and sells us on all the title matches and contender matches. This is the fourth show, wrapping up two down in Huntsville, and two at a big-ish arena. I swear the Asylum Years are going to make it to the TNA Asylum some time. We open with the Tag Titles.

NWA Tag Title Match AJ Styles & Jerry Lynn [C] vs The New Church (Slash + Tempest) w/ Father James Mitchell

Double champion AJ Styles leads Jerry Lynn out to that godawful Born in the USA ripoff theme. The announcers go over Tempest's history as Devin Storm/Crowbar in WCW, also put over Slash's look while Jerry Lynn works hard in the ring. AJ gets in with some crazy offense, including a smooth kip up hurricanrana from flat on his back. The champs pull off some great double team offense to come back after the goth church boys hold control for a while. AJ barely kicks out of a sick Death Valley Driver by Tempest after the New Church cheats to take control again. Jerry Lynn runs wild after the hot tag, but AJ gets a blind tag and Spiral Tap off to seal the victory after a Lynn cradle piledriver.

***1/4 This was a great old school style tag match to get the titles over, and also thankfully start us down the road to Jerry Lynn vs AJ Styles. The Disciples still looked credible despite getting beaten and having all their cheating efforts thwarted.

Girls dance in cages while Mike Tenay puts over local National Wrestling Alliance action. He recaps the Brian Christopher drama from last week and threatens us with talking to Scott Hall on the phone. He mumbles over the phone about how he's getting his revenge on everyone for last week until Brian Christopher makes his entrance. Unfortunately, he has a microphone and is going to explain his actions. He leads a slow and lumbering promo up to "Screw Jerry Lawler!" Unfortunately for me, he kept going on for several minutes after I thought he was done. This is where he changes over to Brian Lawler.

Brian Lawler vs Norman Smiley

Norman Smiley's WCW Hardcore Title credentials are put over when Brian jumps him in the corner as the bell rings. Smiley takes control with a couple dropkicks and then hits a few of his signature spots. There's an immediate cut to a big guy in a hooters shirt in the crowd doing the Big Wiggle. Lawler takes control though as the fans chant "Jerry's Kid" , and wins after 5 minutes with a hip hop drop after tossing his goggles.

* At least it wasn't a squash, and Norman looked more than okay. He calls out Hall after the match.

Goldylocks is following Jeff Jarrett who is attacking NWA officials backstage demanding his title shot. The suit suspends Jeff Jarrett, who grabs his crotch and hollers "suspend this!" Father James Mitchell yells at the New Church behind a closed door as the camera cuts out.

K-Krush vs Hermie Sadler

No rap to the ring, but we get some generous pyro. He makes friends talking about how he'd kick every NASCAR fan's ass at ringside. Eventually, this geek Sadler enters with a full pit crew entourage, including a checkered flag on a stick, a can of gasoline, and a stop sign (Raven nor Lodi sighted yet). The fighters push each other as the bell rings. The ref calls it after an extended beatdown and squash for 5 minutes.

* Didn't make Krush look too bad, still mildly put over Hermie's effort and didn't bury the celeb.

Omori is in the back preparing for his match until Alicia comes by to get paid.

Hot Shots vs The Briscoes

Yeah, it's that Mark and Jay Briscoe. They are 18 years old. The promising match is cut short after 2 minutes by Malice coming down and brutalizing everyone. 1/4* The New Church arrives to glower at ringside.

The Sinister Minister terrorizes everyone and threatens the timekeeper to bring Ken Shamrock out into an obvious ambush. Omori eventually comes out to save Shamrock from the bad guys to preserve his title shot later (??).

Goldylocks is backstage with The Dupps putting over their match against the Flying Elvises. Stan cuts a really disgusting promo while Bo molests their wife-sister in the background. I want to be dead. Bo takes over the mic and continues the promo about feces. ECW's Jasmine St Clair interrupts the Dupps' entrance. She talks about the TNA in TNA and gives Jeremy Borash a lap dance worthy of PPV. The crowd and commentary is extremely gross, duh. An NWA suit comes down with a suit jacket to cover up before it crosses from PG-13 to hard R. Ed Ferrara springs out of commentary to intercept him with an honestly great spear spot, but he still recovers to stop it from getting X-rated. Unfortunately, the Dupps are going to enter now.

The Dupps vs The Flying Elvises

No Jimmy Yang tonight. The Elvii jump the Dupps to start. Mortimer Plumtree joins commentary. Estrada gets the pin after a Perfect 10 finisher after 4 minutes. * Nothing great. We cut from the match quick backstage to a crazed brawl between tag team champs AJ Styles and Jerry Lynn. Lynn spikes a piledriver on a box and throws AJ's title belt onto his body.

NWA World Heavyweight Title Match Ken Shamrock [c] vs Takao Omori

The Japanese photographers at ringside are a somewhat cool touch. They trade wild strikes and Shamrock DDT's for a quick 1-count. Harley Race (RIP) is at ringside as a random NWA official. They go through some decent back and forth striking and rest holds. Omori misses a top rope knee drop and the champ pounces on it to take control. The fans start turning on the slower, plodding match. Shamrock pops a sudden Ankle Lock submission, and "suspended" Jeff Jarrett causes a chair DQ at 7 minutes.

* Not a great world title match at all. Omori showed a little fire though. Jarrett kabongs Harley Race and hits the wrestlers another couple times while threatening ringside.

Goldylocks tries to get a word from Jerry Lynn, but Father Mitchell interrupts her looking for Jeff Jarrett. She follows muffled screaming to find an NWA suit duct taped up and beaten and spraypainted. The NWA Title match wasn't the main event apparently.

X Division 6 Man Elimination Match Low Ki vs Elix Skipper vs Kid Romeo vs Tony Mamaluke vs Christopher Daniels vs Jerry Lynn

There are a lot of great moves that I'm not going to list in a row here. Everyone seems pretty great. It's going nearly 10 minutes without eliminations as they do a really great series of dives to the outside. Jerry Lynn eliminated for leaving the ring apron / a leg injury after Tony sent him flying from the top rope. Elix eliminates Tony in the ring quickly after with a Play of the Day. Last Rites by Daniels takes out Elix after a good long competitive portion. Daniels survives Kid Romeo's best shot by putting his foot on the ropes at about 17 minutes, and Low Ki takes out the celebrating Romeo to make it a 1 on 1 as the match gets just about to the 20 minutes mark. They trade some high impact turnbuckle moves and creative cradles for near falls. They trade finishers back and forth a couple times until Daniels powers out of Low-Ki's Dragon Clutch submission. Finally, Low Ki hits a great kick and flip to turn the Last Rites into the Ki-Krusher, and he wins it after 25 minutes or so.

Amazing match. ****1/2 Everyone looked great. Another cool version of the X Division 4 man earlier.

The Flying Elvises hit the ring and beat down the remaining competitors. Siaki gets a mic and says they are the X Division, shouldn't have been left out of the match, etc. In a nice spot, the eliminated X Division contenders come out to save Daniels and Low Ki from the beatdown. Jarrett gets the mic demanding his title shot and antagonizing the Tennessee Titans Offensive Line at ringside until a huge brawl breaks out. The New Church rushes and Jarrett takes a chair to everyone as the brawl spills into the crowd and Tenay says to see you next week.

A really good opening and closing. They're already hitting their familiar rhythm of every week having at least one storyline with a great match or segment. If you don't like the NWA Title stuff, there's a great X match. If you don't like the celebrity/upper mid card feud, there's two tag matches with good action. And next week they'll cycle through them again. Also next week - we finally make it to the TNA Asylum. Already tonight, I recognized two famous fans at ringside that I would grow to know and love. Chicken Hat and Braids. More on them later.

NWA TNA 5 From the Municipal Auditorium in Nashville Tennessee.

Goldylocks approaches Ken Shamrock in downtown Nashville. He bites off her head and tells everyone to back off, calling her a bitch(!!) for no reason. A video package sells top heel Jeff Jarrett as a hero fighting against the evil and inept authority. Also, I lied and am getting slightly annoyed - this is the third straight municipal auditorium show. Was the TNA Asylum a mirage?

We have a long, dumb brawl with Scott Hall and Jarrett backstage as announcers talk about their different matches against Lawler and Malice, respectively. The brawl goes wild and NWA officials break it up and say Jarrett has forfeited his number one contenders match vs Malice. The New Church makes a great entrance as Tenay is flustered. The lights go out while the Minister gloats over Malice's automatic win, and Sabu answers the open challenge. The bell rings, apparently?

NWA Title Number One Contender Ladder? Match Malice vs Sabu

It's not clear if this is a ladder match, but Sabu quickly makes it a chairs match. Malice uses his strength to take control back, and yes, it's still a ladder match. Sabu hits some extreme offense on Malice when the New Church tries to get a ladder in the ring. Malice busts Sabu's nose open throwing him on a ladder bridge, and there's also a table set up at ringside. Lots of slow plodding from spot to spot. Malice does a nice scoop slam holding Sabu and the ladder at the same time, though. Malice with a belly to belly on a corner ladder in a move that might be a shot at Ken Shamrock's finisher? Sabu plays the hits using the chairs and ladders as props, but keeps getting thrown off the ladder. However, at long last, Sabu launches Malice off the ladder and through the table at ringside to get the surprise victory at 14 minutes.

3/4* There was some nice hardcore work in moments, but way too much slowness in between.

The Church takes apart the bloodied Sabu as he clutches the title contract. Finally, a chokeslam from the apron through a ringside table as the fans chant TNA. Backstage, Double J is getting thrown out of the Municipal Auditorium. AJ Styles comes down with a mic and steps over Sabu's dead body with a curious glance. Jerry Lynn comes out shortly after to talk shit back. Jerry mocks AJ for his three years of wrestling experience, heh. "AJ Styles, who the hell are you?" Jerry keeps talking down to the kid, and ends it with saying that he will respect him. AJ snaps and pele's the other half of the tag champions in the back of the head, then spikes a Styles Clash and leaves.

Goldylocks is backstage in front of the "Females" locker room. Oh no. Jasmine gets jumped by Francine before the interview can begin. Announcers hype Sabu vs Shamrock for the title while the girls dance in cages.

K-Krush comes out with a mic to get something off his chest. He's a big star and shouldn't be in the ring with NASCAR drivers, runs down the WWE for releasing him. He mentions being treated like a second-class citizen, says everyone is afraid of him. Mentions blowing the top off the mountain. He's not an angry black man, he's The Truth, and The Truth will not be denied. In a wild tonal shift, Norman Smiley enters.

K-Krush vs Norman Smiley

Or is it The Truth now? Either way, Truth attacks at the bell in the corner. Smiley hits a few of his comedy moves in a row, until Truth takes control with his series of dodges and axe kicks. Truth wins with a release/sitout front suplex after 4 minutes. * Just a bit above a full on squash match. Smiley gets whipped, choked, and hung with Truth's belt post match. Smiley's wife comes out to save him from asphyxiation.

Goldylocks is backstage looking for Puppet the Midget Killer, who is beating off in a trash can. Yup. She walks away from that scene to find the Dupps in a den of incest and meth. Relieved that we cut to the girls dancing in cages for more local NWA shows to scroll across the bottom.

The Flying Elvises vs Elix Skipper and Chris Daniels

I'm beginning to accept that Jimmy Yang might not be coming back. For the second straight week, Siaki teases a double fist bump with a fan only to burst out laughing. A XXX preview match. The high flying to the outside starts immediately with three or four dives before the ref settles it down into a tag match. The Elvii isolate Elix Skipper and start working him over with a few impressive moves. Siaki goes to commentary and puts over Estrada's new haircut and mentions needing to get 3 things over- "Me, Me, and Me". He gets back to the corner to tag in and work Elix over some more. Siaki goes back to commentary and puts himself over some more while Elix comes back with a buckshot lariat in the ring. Siaki can't stop the hot tag and the good guys running wild with a flurry of offense. Eventually, Elix has Estrada dead to rights with the play of the day, but the referee is distracted by Siaki and Daniels brawling at ringside. Siaki slips behind Elix when he argues with the ref and hits the Money Clip neckbreaker to win it in 11 minutes.

**3/4 Had some good moments and stretches, and I generally enjoyed the Siaki commentary stretches, but this was a little chaotic in a bad way. The Dupps beat down Estrada afterwards when Siaki bails on him.

K-Krush threatens Goldylocks during his interview, and Scott Hall attacks him as part of his revenge quest. Teo the midget is joining the girls dancing in cages.

Midget Showcase Match Puppet the Psycho Dwarf vs Meatball

The sloppy brawling makes its way to Meatball's shopping cart filled with not weapons, but delicious Kroger groceries. Things quickly get weird. Puppet takes it after 6 minutes of watermelon shots and chair splashes. *1/2

Jasmine St Claire vs Francine

Jasmine is out to call out Francine and finish what they started in the back. They trade hair pulls and clothing tears for maybe a minute until Blue Meanie DDTs Francine. No stars.

X Division Title Match AJ Styles [c] vs Low-Ki

They trade a lot of strikes to start, going back and forth with hard hits and counters. ROH is namedropped as a hot independent show that will showcase the X Champ. Low Ki dodges an Asai moonsault to the outside, then kicks a charging AJ Styles to take control. He hooks his Dragon Clutch finisher on the apron and in the ropes for a sick spot. AJ takes control with a few moves in a row, including a great brainbuster, but he misses the Spiral Tap completely. The Ki-Krusher gets reversed into a DDT, then AJ catches Low Ki's top rope splash with the Styles Clash after 12 minutes.

***3/4 Great defense by AJ, and Low Ki still looked good and didn't lose too much momentum after his win last week.

Jerry Lynn destroys the champ with a spear on the ramp and then takes the beatdown to the ring with a ladder in tow. He hits a few moves on and against the ladder until he leaves AJ folded in a heap.

Brian Lawler vs Scott Hall

The fans boo and chant "Jerry's Kid" ahead of our main event. We get some Jerry Lawler facts in a long and boring promo. At long last, Hall's music interrupts and distracts until Brian is snuck up on. There's another good couple minutes of promo with Scott Hall sneaking behind Lawler just out of his view. Finally Hall starts throwing hands and brawling through ringside and the announce table. Lawler gets a mic to berate the crowd in between slow brawling at half speed. Hall finally runs through his signature spots in the ring. K-Krush interrupts him hitting The Edge, but he gets dumped and Hall finishes off Lawler right afterwards with it at 9 minutes.

* Mostly a dreadful and slow "main event" style match, but it was decent to see Hall get his revenge.

K-Krush/Truth returns to get more revenge with his belt, including another choking and hanging. Hall gets another stretcher trip until Jeff Jarrett interrupts in a lazy paramedic outfit with a steel chair and starts smacking everybody. TNA was doing the angle after and during the credits before it was cool.

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placetobenation · 7 years ago

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October 2, 2017

From the Pepsi Center in Denver, CO

Your hosts are Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, and Booker T

The show starts off with the roster on the ramp for a moment of silence honoring the victims and families of those involved in the Las Vegas shootings.

We get a video package from last week where The Miz and Roman Reigns wrestled and Reigns ended up getting laid out by Miz & The Miztourage after winning the match. They focused on Miz & The Miztourage mocking The Shield fist bump at the end.

Seth Rollins vs. Braun Strowman

Rollins tries to use his speed to his advantage but gets run over. Rollins slips out of a powerslam attempt then slaps Strowman and gets chased around the ring. Rollins stomps Strowman as he tried to enter but Strowman is able to pancake Rollins then whips Rollins into the corner. Strowman continues to overpower Rollins then applies a chinlock. Rollins breaks out with a jawbreaker then low-bridges Strowman, who spills outside. Rollins tries for a tope but gets cut off with an uppercut as we head to break. The match returns with Strowman eating boot off of a charge. Strowman then catches Rollins coming off the top rope and hits a fallaway slam as Rollins ends up rolling outside. Strowman heads out and whips Rollins into the post. Rollins avoids a second charge as Strowman hits the post then flies out with a tope. Rollins hits a second tope as Strowman is now off of his feet. Back inside, Rollins hits a pair of springboard clotheslines that stagger Strowman then hits a blockbuster for just a one count. Rollins hits a few kicks but Strowman catches him with a short-arm clothesline before the running powerslam gets him the win (10:26) **1/2. After the match, Strowman hits another powerslam then sets up for it again but Dean Ambrose runs out. Strowman heads outside and beats Ambrose down but back inside, Ambrose fires away until getting caught with a chokeslam. Strowman hits a second chokeslam then hits him with a running powerslam. Cesaro & Sheamus now come out and inflict more punishment on the Tag champs.

Thoughts: Solid match. I thought Strowman struggled at points but they stuck to a basic formula and the crowd was digging this.

Highlights from last week’s verbal altercation between Alexa Bliss and Mickie James. After that, Mickie is walking backstage and sees Alicia Fox, who was apparently laughing over what Alexa said last week. Emma is also seen laughing and tells Mickie that at her age she still has a secret admirer and she opens her dressing room door to see a box of depends. Mickie flips out and tosses the box then sees both Emma & Alicia laughing. Mickie then bangs on Alexa’s locker room door but Nia Jax answers, with Alexa hiding behind. Nia tells Mickie Alexa is not available then Alexa tricks Mickie into faacing Nia tonight. I really enjoyed the segment last week between Alexa and Mickie but this was terrible. Too overproduced and we now see that Nia & Alexa are back to being friendly again for reasons that were not explained.

Bray Wyatt is shown in a rocking chair, repeating “she never lied to me.” After it airs, Corey says it appears that Bray is unraveling.

Elias is now in the ring. He is not happy about having to face Titus O’Neill tonight and yells at the crowd before singing his song. Elias says the people in Denver are the worst in the country until Titus interrupts.

Elias vs. Titus O’Neill w/ Apollo Crews

Titus shoves down Apollo has Booker wants to know how Titus’ time off from the ring will effect him tonight. Elias now works a side headlock until Titus breaks that up with a back suplex. Titus then tosses Elias into the corner and chops away. He hits a slam then an avalanche as Elias rolls outside. The ref backs Titus away then Elias shoves Apollo, who gets in his face. Elias gets pulled up to the apron by his hair but ends up stunning Titus before heading inside to hit the Drift Away for the win (3:27) 1/4*.

Thoughts: Bad match as it appears this Elias vs. Titus Brand stuff will continue. No idea what it will lead to though.

Another Asuka vignette airs, hyping her debut at the TLC PPV.

Nia Jax vs. Mickie James

Alexa comes out to the ring and a distracted Mickie gets run over by Nia. Alexa smiles as Nia overpowers Mickie then chokes her out with the ropes. Nia stays in control as she has Mickie in a surfboard but Mickie is able to escape. Nia cuts off a brief comeback then dumps Mickie outside as we head to break. The match returns with Mickie hitting Nia with a jawbreaker. Nia once again runs over Mickie and starts toying with her until Mickie fights back. Nia then drives Mickie into the mat and covers for a two count in a really ugly spot. Nia locks on a cobra clutch then switches to a bearhug. Mickie escapes and lands more strikes then takes her down to one knee with a low dropkick. Nia drives Mickie into the corner then places her up top and tries to chokeslam her off but Mickie turns that into a tornado DDT. Mickie then goes for the cover but Alexa runs and breaks up the cover for the DQ (9:42) DUD. Alexa tosses Mickie outside then checks on Nia, who is still out on the mat. Alexa heads out but Mickie knocks her down then tells Nia that is her friend and that she is going for title reign #7.

Thoughts: This was awful in many ways. First, the work was extremely sloppy and this match unraveled towards the end. Plus, they are trying to build up Mickie as a title contender and she barely got in any offense then tried to sell use that this tornado DDT was going to put Nia away if Alexa did not make the save. At the end, this match did not get anyone over.

Clips from last week with Enzo Amore crapping all over the rest of the Cruiserweight Division until getting destroyed by Neville. And we saw what happened RAW went off of the air when Braun Strowman ran out to beat on Neville and the rest of the Cruiserweights taking turns as they beat down Enzo. They also focused on Enzo’s “no contact clause” that said anyone who attacked him forfeited their right to a future title shot.

Renee Young is backstage with Enzo. She asks him about last week and how it was like a mutiny. Enzo looks upset and is speechless. We even see a tear come out of his eye as Renee thanks him before the segment ends.

Carlos Santana gets a package for “Hispanic Heritage Month.”

Clips from the end of the Nia/Mickie match are shown. Mickie is then interviewed backstage by Charly Caruso, sporting an entirely different look. Mickie has aspirations to become the RAW Women’s Champion then GM Kurt Angle approaches and gives Mickie a title match at TLC based off her performance tonight and her career prestige. Mickie is elated and does Angle’s “its true, its damn true” catchphrase before leaving.

We are shown a segment from Facebook Live where Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson call Jason Jordan a “nerd.” Matt Hardy was next to Jordan and challenged Gallows & Anderson to a match tonight.

Matt Hardy & Jason Jordan vs. Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson

Anderson beats on Hardy to start. Gallows tags in but Hardy fights back and tags out. Jordan rams Gallows into the corner then hits a clothesline. The match breaks down as Hardy & Jordan clean house then we head to break. The action returns with Gallows & Anderson beating on Hardy. Anderson misses an attack in the corner then Jordan tags in and runs wild. Anderson makes a blind tag as Gallows comes in to kick Jordan in the face. Gallows drops a few elbows for a two count. Leg drop gets two. Anderson is back in the match and stomps away before working the arm. Jordan floats over on a suplex and hits one of his own as both men are down. Jordan crawls over and makes the tag as Matt fires away on Gallows. A mild “delete” chant breaks out as Hardy is taking care of both men. He hits Gallows with a tornado DDT then drops an elbow off of the middle rope for a two count as Anderson made the save. Jordan takes Anderson off of the apron with a dropkick but gets whipped into the barricade then Anderson grabs Hardy’s leg. Anderson then rolls back inside after Gallows decks Hardy and they hit the Magic Killer for the win (11:03) **3/4.

Thoughts: I liked the match and the crowd responds much better to Jordan when he teams with a Hardy boy. I expect a rematch and it appears Jordan & Hardy will continue to team while Jeff is recuperating from surgery.

Charly is backstage with Roman Reigns. She asks him about what happened earlier to his former Shield brothers. Reigns says he is not worried as they are “big boys” and likely coming up with a strategy now as he will be focusing on Miz. Reigns is asked about his strategy tonight against the Miz. He talks about not coming up with difficult strategies but plans on leaving Denver with the Intercontinental Championship. This interview was short and to the point.

Dana Warrior is in the ring with the RAW Women’s roster to honor three breast cancer survivors.

The Miz’s music hits. We then see Miz & The Miztourage in the crowd as they use The Shield’s old entrance as Corey tells us that the Shield is no more. Reigns then makes his entrance and before the match starts, Reigns runs out and beats the crap out of The Miztourage. He grabs a chair and chases them through the crowd with a chair and beats them with that too. Reigns then stares down Miz from the stage and heads down as we go to commercial.

WWE Intercontinental Title Match: The Miz (c) w/ The Miztourage vs. Roman Reigns

Miz charges after Reigns but gets punched out. Miz then keeps rolling outside to avoid Reigns and eventually catches him with a cheap shot. He then whips Reigns into the steps and rolls inside. Reigns barely beats the ten count but Miz plants him with a DDT for a two count. He works a chinlock then cuts Reigns off when he escaped. We head to break then return as Miz remains in control. Miz then uses the It Kicks but Reigns catches his leg and turns that into a sit-out powerbomb for a two count. Miz comes back with the Skull Crushing Finale as the crowd bought that as the finish. Miz slowly gets up and charges but runs into a Superman Punch as Reigns covers for two. Reigns then sets up for the spear but gets pulled outside by Cesaro & Sheamus for the DQ (11:55) ***. After the match, Reigns tries to fight back but is beat down by all three men. Cesaro hits Reigns with the Neutralizer then Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick and Miz the Skull Crushing Finale as the crowd chants for the Shield. Miz shakes hands with Cesaro & Sheamus and the three men are about to leave but realize the crowd wants the Shield. The crowd chants louder as the three mock the Shield’s signature spots before hitting Reigns with the triple powerbomb.

Thoughts: Fun match and the crowd was buying all of the nearfalls. This had tons of heat and the crowd went nuts for a potential Shield reformation. I liked how Reigns laid out The Miztourage and that Cesaro & Sheamus more or less took their place at the end in laying out Reigns. With the setup for The Shield’s return, Cesaro & Sheamus are a lot more credible than the Miztourage.

Finn Balor heads out to the ring. He tells Denver that they are “Balor Club” He prefers to come out and fight rather than too talk but Bray likes to play mindgames. He does not believe Bray to be anything else but a coward and says that he lost to “The Demon” at SummerSlam and “The Man” at No Mercy and can use any excuse he wants but the truth is he’s afraid and cannot beat him. Balor invites Bray to come out and not to sing it but rather “bring it.” We then see Bray in the rocking chair repeating “she never lied to me” then stops and tells Balor to show in his true face. Bray’s then tells Balor that Sister Abigail wants to meet him and his face morphs into what I assume is supposed to be Sister Abigail as we hear a female laughing. This is a segment that makes you embarrassed to watch wrestling. Also, this feud has no reason to continue and if anyone needs to change brands, it’s Balor because there is no one for him to feud with on RAW.

Sasha Banks & Bayley vs. Emma & Alicia Fox

Bayley gave her jacket to a young girl on her way to the ring. Emma, via insert promo, told us she did not trend on Twitter last week due to Nia and found herself a new partner. Emma and Sasha trade drop toeholds to start. Bayley tags and tries playing to the crowd, who do not react whatsoever, then starts beating on Emma. Bayley gets trapped in the corner then Fox tags in and dumps her outside after a dropkick. We head to break then return with Sasha beating on Emma. Fox tags in and has a shoving match with Sasha that leads to some brawling. Sasha takes control and gets two with a meteora. Fox fights back and tags out as Emma gets a nearfall with a butterfly suplex. Sasha’s mouth is all busted open then Fox tags in to hit a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for a two count. Fox & Emma neutralize Sasha in the corner. Fox prevents a tag and drags Sasha back into the corner but gets shoved into Emma then Sasha tags out. Bayley runs wild on Fox until she gets hit with a jawbreaker. Fox goes for the tag but Emma leaves then Bayley hits the Bayley-to-Belly for the win (12:56) *.

Thoughts: They gave them time here but this was slow and plodding. The crowd was dead for this and Bayley continues to get less than favorable reactions. One thing to note was Sasha & Bayley really amping up their friendship before the match by jumping around and sharing each other’s spots which usually telegraphs that a turn is about to take place. At this point, if Sasha turned on Bayley she still might get the cheers in that feud.

Next week, Cesaro & Sheamus are guests on “Miz TV.”

Enzo Amore comes out to the ring as he addresses the Cruiserweight Division. He tells us he’s feeling great then tells the Division they can all go to hell and any “hater” that agrees with them can go to hell too. Enzo says he can lend you his certified GPS to get there, the same one he used to put 205 Live on the map. He also brags about the Cruiserweighht Division main-eventing RAW two weeks in a row and said people called it the “Snoozerweight” Division until he appeared. Enzo then leads the crowd in a “you deserve it” chant and how he has deserved all of the money he gets and is a ratings draw. He goes on to talk about being a major draw and then his “no contact” clause for tonight where anyone who touches him will get fired. Enzo says he no longer has any opponents and brags about beating Enzo with a crutch last week on 205 Live but Neville’s music hits with the rest of the Division behind him. They surround the ring as Enzo taunts them all about being in the unemployment line. Enzo is in the ring with the rest of the division on the apron as he individually taunts them, most of it was funny to be honest, but Kurt Angle comes out to the ring. He says that the cruiserweights who touched him last week and are out here tonight cannot touch him. However, the newest member of the Cruiserweight Division can and out comes Kalisto as he takes out Enzo.

If you are going to do this storyline to reveal a new member of the Division, then you do it for a debuting talent and not a guy who has been floundering for the past 18 months. A poor reveal and a Kalisto vs. Enzo feud is not going to reinvigorate a struggling division. Kalisto’s new look was not for the best either. On the plus side, at least they are trying to do something with this division but unfortunately its not going to be focused on the in-ring product and I do not think it will help a niche show on the Network.

Reigns is in the locker room all banged up. Ambrose approaches then soon after that Rollins joins. They all stare at each other then Ambrose and Rollins leave with Reigns looking up as the show goes off the air.

Final Thoughts: One of the weakest episodes of RAW in 2017. Besides the possibility of a Shield reunion this show has nothing else to look forward to with poor feuds and babyfaces the fans do not care about. The opening match and Miz vs. Reigns was good but too many of these storylines just flat out suck. The creative team was to blame for a lot of this show.

#IFTTT #Place to Be Nation

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mistahf · 8 years ago

Text

A Definitive Ranking of 61 Matches I Saw Wrestlemania Weekend

1. DIY v The Revival v AOP

It says a lot about the quality of a match when even a terrible result doesn’t ruin it. 14,000 strong in The Amway Center chanting “bullshit” at the ending might sour this match for some, but it was still match of the weekend for me. Sure we all know wrestling is “fake,” but that doesn’t stop us from wanting our faves to have it all. DIY and The Revival are two of the most beloved tag teams in the past 5 years. The Authors of Pain are…well it works in about 100 different ways to say they’re “getting there.” The match started as it should have, two rivals with a mutual respect targeting the outsiders, the champions. Both to get them out of the way and to eliminate the biggest threat. Unfortunately, their rivalry, and The Revival’s natural tendency towards sneakiness, cost them the match. Great story, great spots (the suplex to the outside was insane), and, it turns out, a great goodbye for The Revival on NXT.

2. Ricochet v Keith Lee

Honestly any Keith Lee match could have made this spot. This happened to be the first Keith Lee match I saw (ever), but I think it earns it’s spot as #2 on its own merit as well. Keith Lee dominated early on, as a dude of his size should, pulling out gradually more and more insane agility and aggression as Ricochet proved unpinnable. Ricochet, too, stepped up his game as the match progressed, hitting high spots with a speed rarely seen outside of, well, Ricochet matches. Little guys beating big guys clean are always hard to book, but Ricochet’s win here looked natural and believable.

3. Donovan Dijak v Keith Lee

After seeing two great matches where Keith Lee took on little guys, it was great to see him take on “Tall Don,” as Dijak had branded himself in the previous match. I’ve always been a huge fan of Dijak’s work for a big man, but he pulled out all the stops here, stepping up his game, presumably in response to the insane buzz surrounding Keith Lee after his first 2 matches of the weekend. If you’ve never seen 2 guys over 260 pounds hit a Canadian Destroyer, it truly is a sight.

4. Jericho v Kevin Owens

Jericho and Owens had the best story and rivalry going in to Wrestlemania, but few had them pegged for the best match. Their chemistry, which has shone since August, was especially great here, with each wrestler busting out crazy counters to each others’ moves. The Owens fingertip spot pumped up the whole crowd, and the finish seemed worthy of this match and feud.

5. South Pacific Power Trip v Sami Calahan and Shane Strickland

I came into this weekend having never heard of the South Pacific Power Trip, but these two won over American audiences in a way comparable to the way Keith Lee did this weekend. This match was the kind of wild tag match that doesn’t usually work. Ref not paying attention to tags or legal men, seeming like a tornado match most of the time, but the insane amount of spots these 4 men were able to cram into their match made it worth it. If all clusterfuck tag matches were booked this well I’d stop complaining about who the legal man is and the ref’s slow or disregarded 5 count.

6. Matt Riddle v Dan Severn

This match sounded ridiculous on paper. An MMA guy still new to pro wrestling versus a 58-year-old MMA guy who had a forgettable pro wrestling career in a pro wrestling match, all taking place after 2 am. Dan Severn, however, doesn’t take any challenge lightly and was up for this challenge. Worked MMA style matches can be extremely entertaining a la New Japan or dull exhibitions that lack the surprise of an actual MMA match, this was the latter, seeming more like an MMA match without any of the bullshit. Severn and Riddle both looked like champions, despite the odd crowd and late hour.

7. AJ Styles v Shane McMahon

AJ fans had every right to be mad about this match. Perhaps the most over, most talented guy in the company versus the boss’s son, the guy who wrestles spotfests to greater and greater diminishing returns every event. What we got, though, was the best Wrestlemania opener since Wrestlemania 10 (the best PPV opener of all time btw). AJ got to be dominant for the most part, Shane got to bust out his best wrestling since his return, and we all got the result we, honestly, knew we were going to get.

8. Zack Sabre Jr v Michael Elgin

I caught four Zack Sabre Jr matches last weekend, all great, but this one in particular really spoke to me. Big Mike came out ready to go, Zack, in his typical Extremely Chill style, was ready to meet his challenge. The beauty of ZSJ matches is how much damn sense it all makes, from the way he slowly pushes your leg down to get you on the ground to his subtle hand work when applying a hold. Big Mike answered all of Sabre’s attacks in typical Big Mike fashion, but ultimately the match made Zack’s victory make sense.

9. Keith Lee v Lio Rush

Alright, this is the last time I talk about Keith Lee, I swear (I only caught 3 of his matches last weekend). Even though I had just seen Keith perform hours before (against a significantly better opponent) and knew exactly what he was capable of, Keith still made my jaw drop each time he hit the air. His second rope moonsault is a thing of beauty. Keith also added in a lot more heel work in this match than in his previous matches, which I loved. The soft-spoken Keith telling the brash Lio Rush to bask in his glory added the final puzzle piece to make Keith Lee a truly can’t-miss wrestler. This match suffered because it went a little shorter than the other two, and because once you’ve seen Keith Lee work Ricochet, can you really see Keith Lee work ANY other high-flyer?

10. Hardyz v Sheamus and Cesaro v The Club v Enzo and Cass

Sometimes the best surprises are the ones you see coming. The Hardyz were in Orlando. The tag title match had been awkwardly shoehorned into a ladder match at the last minute despite Cesaro, Sheamus, Enzo, Cass, Gallows, or Anderson having any history with ladders or high-flying acumen to speak of. Still, when New Day came out in their gear to announce a 4th team, I couldn’t tell if I was being worked, or worked into thinking I was being worked. Despite thinking it had a 60% chance of happening, I cheered the Hardyz return like it was a surprise. Matt and Jeff hit all of their moves perfectly, something I would never have believed 5 years ago, and most teams had a signature spot to shine.

11. HHH v Seth Rollins

WWE’s unique (and scary) blending of fact and fiction regarding Seth Rollins’ knee injury both going into and during this match made HHH’s knee-based offense during most of this match a little hard to watch. And I LOVED it for that. The endless pedigree reversals, Steph’s table spot, and their spectacular entrances (Trips, the King, with a motorcade; Seth, the Kingslayer, carrying a torch for his past wrongs) made sure the crowd was behind this long match, late in the show, 100%.

12. Darby Allin v Ethan Page

This seemed like an odd choice to main event the second evolve show of the evening, but once I saw all that these two had planned, I realized how impossible it would have been for anyone else to follow it. The buildup to this match was intriguing, but extremely awkward, when Priscilla Kelly (swoon) distracted Ethan Page the night prior while a group of clown medics in blood-stained garb carried out a bodybag. Unfortunately, the medics and body bag were quickly disposed of, but once Darby was revealed and attacked Ethan even after taking a beating, I got a glimpse of the heart I’d see the next night. This was a crazy spotfest with one main story. Darby Allin, as he stated the night before, won’t let Ethan Page take over Evolve “as long as [his] heart’s beating.” Allin took some incredible spots early in the match that reminded me of the best of Spike Dudley before eventually coming back (with the help of Austin Theory disposing of The Gatekeepers) with two huge dives of his own to defeat All Ego.

13. Nicole Matthews v Shotzi Blackheart

This match told a perfect story without any words. Nicole Matthews as the grizzled vet. Angry, defensive, and not ready to let anyone else take the attention she deserves, against Shotzi Blackheart, Shimmer’s Rise of the Phoenix (think Shimmer’s NXT) champion. Shotzi showed a lot of heart in her black heart, hanging with Matthews even when clearly outmatched, particularly by Matthews’ insanely stiff strikes. Nicole Matthews threw out the most impressive sounding chops I heard all weekend. And for me, that means a lot.

14. Zack Sabre Jr. v Mike Quackenbush

Zack Sabre Jr. was scheduled to meet Chikara’s extremely impressive big man Max Smashmaster on Saturday afternoon, but as soon as Zack hit the ring with a mic, I figured that wasn’t to be. While I wondered who would take on Zack, he got to the point quickly enough, saying he’d been friends with Chikara boss Mike Quackenbush, but was a little jealous that Drew Gulak got a match with him while he hadn’t yet. Quack and Zack had great chemistry in the ring, seemingly talking about each of their chain wrestling exchanges right after they had them. Despit being mostly retired for the past 3 years, Quack was still able to put on a great show with Zack, largely due to their mutual love for their particular style of wrestling.

15. Drew Galloway v Lio Rush

This match was a perfect clash of styles, the strong veteran Galloway against the brash highflyer Lio Rush. Galloway won a great match with an insane spinning Future Shock (made possible by the huge size difference between these two) followed by a piledriver, a move most in attendance had seen him do earlier in the weekend (see below) with disastrous results.

16. Zack Sabre Jr vs ACH

This was an incredibly unique match, and one that I worried might disappoint a little, particularly because I’d been up since 5:30 and it was nearing 11 pm. However, Zack and ACH put on a decent match and kept me entertained. The only big problem with this match is that I never really believed ACH was going to go over.

17. Jimmy Havoc v Zack Sabre Jr

This match opened up the sold-out Progress show Friday afternoon, and these two did not disappoint the 1200 in attendance after a much maligned delay to the show. Havoc probably worked Zack’s style with him better than anyone, while also throwing in his own, harder hitting style, which busted open the busy Zack Sabre Jr so bad that the wound re-opened 4 hours later in this match with Michael Elgin.

18. Pete Dunne v Mark Haskins

Pete Dunne. Coming into this weekend, I was most excited to see him work for the first time than anyone else, becoming obsessed with his bloodthirsty style in the UK Tournament. Dunne didn’t disappoint here, giving Haskins all the underhanded, wonderful stuff I came to love from The Bruiserweight. Haskins, for his part, hung in incredibly well with Dunne, playing the underdog role perfectly and getting some convincing enough nearfalls that by the end of the match I’d stopped cheering the Bruiswerweight and opted for the plucky face.

19. Spring Break Clusterfuck

Given that I was unfamiliar with a lot of the talent signed for this match, that the rules for this match weren’t made clear beforehand, and that some of the other talent hadn’t wrestled, at least in the public eye, in years, I had no idea what to expect from this match. Fortunately, what I got was an entertaining as hell match with some promising new talent, a great showing by Glacier, and, believe it or not, a great story, which was set up in what I thought was just a funny throwaway video before the event. Jimmy Lloyd took the win, but All Ego Ethan Page was the star of the match.

20. Ginny v Toni Storm

I didn’t know anything about the women of Progress going into this match, but within 3 minutes of the match starting I knew what I needed to know. Toni Storm was strong as hell and wanted to throw Ginny around as much as she could. Ginny, despite being a fashionista, had a terrible attitude and some great kicks. This match played itself out as a great clash between those two styles, and Ginny winning with her feet on the ropes was a fantastic heel move, the quality of which is rarely seen.

21. Bayley v Charlotte v Sasha v Nia

The best part about this match was the opening spot, in which Bayley, Charlotte, and Sasha, who had clearly seen the Revival/AoP/DIY match and knew that the only way to continue on was to eliminate Nia first. I thought that once this was over, 3 of the 4 horsewomen would have a triangle elimination match for the ages. Instead, the three were rushed through two quick, uneventful falls where the finishes seemed to come out of nowhere. The fast paced nature of the match still gave Charlotte and Bayley time to shine, but why book a 4-way if you’re only going to feature two women?

22. Matt Riddle vs Drew Galloway

Evolve 80 started out with a piledriver through a table. The rest of the match was, as it should have been, fast, violent, and honestly pretty one-sided. Galloway looked strong here, and it gave Riddle a bit of an edge I hadn’t seen him have before, but seeing Riddle work 3 more matches (and knowing he worked way more) days and even hours after the table spot took a lot of the shine off of it.

23. Mike and Don v Yehi and Williams

When this match started I thought “how the hell are they going to book themselves out of this one,” since it seemed impossible that Big Mike and Tall Don could lose to Evolve darlings Catch Point. I almost thought we might get a title change, but ultimately Catch Point won the way that tag teams should, by being a tag team and out teamworking their bigger, stronger opponents.

24. Eddie Kingston v Matt Tremont

There was color in this match within 3 minutes, brother, along with a plastic fork and table spots. This match was a pitch perfect study in how hardcore wrestling should work. It was bloody, it was real, and both wrestlers looked very tough.

25. Joey Janela v Marty Jannetty

I was VERY nervous going into this match. What was Marty going to look like? How embarrassing was it going to be to watch? Fortunately Marty didn’t look terrible and the match was the fun kind of overbooked mess that made it incredibly entertaining to watch.

26. Goldberg v Brock Lesnar

These two did what they had to. It wasn’t 90 seconds. It wasn’t 20 minutes. It was 4+ minutes of unlimited signature and special moves. It was the match we deserved 13 years ago. I’m still mad it was for a title.

27. Dulce Garcia v KellyAnne

As far as I know there wasn’t any history between these two women, but they soon made the decision to turn their match into a grudge match, taking the action to the floor and connecting with stiff chops that absolutely lit up Dulce’s chest. I loved the speed and aggression these two worked with. Garcia winning with rolling suplexes was awesome.

28. Tyler Bate v Mark Andrews

Tyler Bate, more than the other two members of British Strong Style, found himself in a less than ideal situation at the Progress show, cheered by American fans who know the whitebread UK Champion babyface Tyler rather than the heel BSS Tyler he portrays in Progress. Fortunately, putting him up against Mark Andrews, one of the best faces in wrestling, helped. This match was great, Tyler’s airplane spin is so incredibly over and fun to see live.

29. Asuka v Ember Moon

This match was disappointing, but it’s clear that it was supposed to be. While I was expecting a coronation for Ember, it’s clear that this match instead was put on to keep both women strong and (hopefully finally) turn Asuka heel. Asuka has, in my opinion, clearly been a heel since her match with Mickie in November, but her astounding charisma and strong booking has kept the fans intrigued. Hopefully NXT can fully commit to a heel Asuka.

30. Undertaker v Roman Reigns

I can’t decide if this match is where it should be, belongs lower due to the match quality, or belongs higher due to it’s implications. Undertaker is one of my top 5 favorite wrestlers of all time, so I can’t be unbiased. Seeing Undertaker retire was bittersweet, I was happy I got to be there, sad I won’t see him again, happy for him to finally be able to rest, sad that he wasn’t able to go out with a better match, etc. Honestly if Roman goes heel I think the whole thing might be worth it, he’ll make Vince so much damn money as a bad guy and hopefully the Dead Man doesn’t become a Stone Cold, Ric Flair, or Shawn Michaels, showing back up so often that it doesn’t mean anything any more.

31. Candice LaRae v Mercedes Martinez

I hadn’t seen much Shimmer recently, but damn The Trifecta are awesome. Nicole Savoy is an incredibly talented wrestler turned incredibly talented manager during her injury. Candice is an incredible babyface in peril, and although going in I didn’t think we had much chance of seeing a title change, there were a few near falls here where I thought it was going to happen. In the end Mercedes got the win as expected, but this match kept me in suspense way more than I expected.

32. Matt Riddle v Fred Yehi

Not following Evolve regularly, I didn’t care much about the Catch Point rivalry story, but damn did these two have a great match. Mania weekend made me a huge Matt Riddle fan, and Fred Yehi is a great worker. This match didn’t need a story to rule.

33. Cherry Bomb v Alex Windsor

Allie is an incredibly likable babyface on Impact Wrestling, so seeing her work heel twice Mania weekend was a damn revelation. Cherry Bomb was wonderful in the opener to the Shimmer show, having the cocky character, in-ring banter, and talent to get a crowd, even one who might have otherwise been prepared to cheer her, to boo her. Alex Windsor looked strong in this match too, but Cherry’s heel antics really stole the show.

34. 6 Way Womens Match

This match really was booked for one reason, to get Naomi the big hometown win. I loved seeing her get it, I loved seeing her use the anaconda vice. While all 6 Smackdown women deserved a Wrestlemania match, there wasn’t quite enough time to properly feature everyone.

35. Aleister Black v Andrade Cien Almas

This match was exactly what we needed from Aleister Black. We got to see a great entrance (and great theme) from him, got introduced to his creepy, gothic charisma, and got to see his great Muay Thai strikes. Andrade Cien Almas is a fantastic heel who I hope never gets lost in the shuffle.

36. Mt. Tessa v Kay Lee Ray and Mia Yim

I loved the story of this match. Tessa Blanchard and Vanessa Kraven got into it halfway through the match after an accidental hit was followed by a hit on purpose to almost give Kay Lee and Mia the belts in the best near-fall of all the WWN shows. Mia and Kay Lee Ray are incredibly likeable babyfaces, while Tessa Blanchard is an absolutely brilliant heel. Did I spend a lot of this match fantasy booking Vanessa Kraven (or someone of a similar stature) running roughshod over 205 Live? Yes I did. If you’re doing that too, you’re welcome.

37. Sanity v Ty Dillinger, Ruby Riot, Kassius Ohno, and Roderick Strong

While I think we all wanted to see Ty Dillinger’s first big win (can you believe we’ve been waiting 2 years for that?), a good debut for Kassius and Ruby, and more good things for Roderick Strong until they actually come up with something for him, I do have to say that Sanity winning here made sense. Teams should always beat non-teams.

38. Bobby Roode v Shinsuke Nakamura

Talking about this match with someone beforehand we said “well, the entrances are going to be great, and Bobby Roode knows how to tell a story.” Both of those things were true. I find Bobby and Shinsuke to have absolutely no chemistry, so it was interesting to see what they could accomplish using WWE booking. The near falls were great, the moments were great, Kenny Omega was absolutely correct in calling this a 3-star match. I’m excited to see Shinsuke move on and Bobby to hopefully find an opponent more suited for him (I think Bobby and Kassius Ohno could have some great matches).

39. Catch Point v Kincaid, Theory, Guevara

Jason Kincaid quickly became one of my favorite wrestlers at the Evolve show. I loved his unique look, weird mountain yogi gimmick, and his ring work to back it up. Unfortunately, teaming him with what seemed like 2 people at random against an established team like Catch Point made for a lot of great high spots, but didn’t make the most sense overall.

40. Sami Calahan v Kyle The Beast

I think Solomon Crowe did a lot to turn me on Sami Calahan, all of his work Mania weekend, though, got me back on the Calahan train. Sami has an incredible energy in the ring and Kyle The Beast was able to match it full force. Sami put over Kyle after the match in an unexpected show of respect.

41. Matt Riddle v Trent Seven

Trent Seven got to be the only purely booed member of British Strong Style at the Progress show by taking on the incredibly characmatic Matt Riddle. These two put on a great showcase of “Big Lads Wrestling.”

42. Los Ice Creams v Solo Darling and Travis Huckabee v Hallowicked and Frightmare v Silver and Fire Ant

This match was fun, even if the result was a little predictable. Los Ice Creams’ humor doesn’t always translate watching online, but either these two were on their game or they’re much funnier live. Solo Darling as a sugar-obsessed maniac trying to eat Los Ice Creams and missing an opportunity for a tag to eat skittles was great too.

43. Leva Bates v Lufisto

Leva Bates came out as Tina Belcher and seemed to wrestle the entire match in character, even as her wig started to fall off halfway through the match. True to character, Leva used a lot of butt-based offense during the match, but was ultimately overpowered by an awesome heel Lufisto.

44. Jason Kincaid vs Lio Rush vs Jaka

I was intrigued by the singles match that was booked, but Lio Rush added a lot to it. The showy Lio Rush and nothing-but-business Jaka fed off Jason Kincaid’s weirdo character well.

45. Shayna Baszler v Santana Garrett

Shayna Baszler rules. I loved seeing an MMA-inspired offense in a women’s match, particularly on an all-womens show. Santana Garrett put up a good fight, but seeing her go down to Shayna (and props again to the charismatic Nicole Savoy as Shayna’s manager) seemed like a foregone conclusion.

46. Samantha Heights vs Veda Scott vs Britt Baker vs Nevaeh

This was a fun four-corners match. Veda Scott, as usual, excelled in in-ring chatter, asking her opponents to take it easy on her given that she very publically chipped a few teeth 2 nights earlier at Joey Janela’s Spring Break. Britt Baker looked like an incredibly strong face in this win, her Shimmer Debut.

47. Braxton Sutter and Allie v Andy Williams and Penelope Ford

Braxton Sutter and Allie were incredible heels in this match, immediately getting over their opponents of non-wrestler Andy Williams and Penelope Ford, who has a lot of cool moves, but needs some development as far as putting them together. This was an incredibly fun tag match, made even more fun by being intergender, rather than mixed tag. After the match the guy sitting next to me agreed: We want to see more Andy Williams in the ring.

48. Timothy Thatcher v Chris Dickinson

These two wrestled a very similar, physical, style that was nice to see in complement to each other. Kind of was booked in a death slot right after Galloway piledrove Matt Riddle through a table.

49. ACH v Timothy Thatcher

Poor Timmy Thatcher, this was his second match booked in an absolute death slot, having to follow Keith Lee vs Donovan Dijak. I’m sure I’d enjoy a Timothy Thatcher match a lot more if it were booked in a good slot.

50. The Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal

I don’t like Battle Royals, I didn’t like even more that crowd favorites Sami Zayn and Luke Harper were eliminated without much incident. While the end result was predictable when we got to the final six or so, seeing Rob Gronkowski get involved (and the crowd reaction to him getting involved) was a lot of fun.

51. Black, Blonde, and Neon v The Gatekeepers

A great squash match. The Gatekeepers rule in matches like this.

52. James Drake v Rockstar Spud

Chanting “He’s got his own face, on his ass” was the highlight of this match. Rockstar Spud is incredibly charismatic, but it didn’t seem to come off too well in this match.

53. Jesicka Havok v Cat Power

This was a really fun, hard hitting match between two tough women and was a great example of the variety a Shimmer show can give you. My big complaint was that Havok was both much bigger than her opponent and a face, but Cat Power worked her over most of the match without using any underhanded tactics.

54. Dean Ambrose v Baron Corbin

I’m not sure if these two had a generic Smackdown match because they were on the preshow or if they were moved to the preshow because they had planned a boring Smackdown match. After what he said about last year’s Mania fiasco, I expected Dean Ambrose to bring something great to this match. He didn’t. The end sequence was good, but it didn’t make up for this match.

55. John Cena and Nikki Bella v The Miz and Maryse

I know, I know. It’s not about the match, it’s about the moment after. Still, as a huge fan of everything Cena and Miz have done in 2016 and 2017, this match was a damn disappointment.

56. Sea Stars and Obariyon v Sea Monsters

What was, for most people, the 8th of 10 shows at the WWN live center, the Chikara show really suffered a lot. Sea Stars and Obariyon opened the show up against the Sea Monsters, with the face team working really hard, but the match suffered from the crowd fatigue.

57. Missile Assault Man v Kobald

Missile Assualt Man is a great wrestler, but honestly he needs to go back under a mask. He radiated charisma as Missile Assault Ant, but needs to work on his facial expressions outside of it.

58. Wani v Space Monkey

This match had some fun moments, but the end of the match and title change really seemed to come out of nowhere. Also if Wani is using some sort of “mysterious foreigner” gimmick, why are all of his moves just American indie moves?

59. Ophidian v Jeremy Leary

Jeremy Leary showed some good heel energy, but I felt like there was an aspect of his gimmick I didn’t really get. The end of this match was very confusing, with Ophidian using his trademark snake hypnosis and it for some reason not working on Jeremy, it was never explained why.

60. All Ego Ethan Page v Austin Theory

Not knowing much about Evolve before the match, I saw this as a squash match immediately following The Gatekeeper’s squash match. This one wasn’t as fun.

61. Bray Wyatt v Randy Orton

The projection stuff was kind of cool, I guess, but with the exception of that every aspect of this match disappointed me, including the lackluster entrances for both men. I probably came into this match expecting too much (given Randy’s past Mania matches and Bray’s recent work I thought this had the potential for match of the night).

Matches I missed:

Ultramantis Black vs. Juan Francisco de Coronado:

I had to leave Chikara (which started late) early in order to make it to the Amway Center in time for NXT (and to see the taped matches before the show). Honestly only the last taping match was worth it so I should have waited.

Austin Aries vs. Neville

You try getting to wrangling your sister, her husband, and your 2-year-old niece to Wrestlemania on time. Also I went into this assuming there would only be two pre-show matches, so one wouldn’t start before 6 pm.

Most of the Andre the Giant Invitational:

But I watched it on the Network getting in and caught the last half so I’m counting it as seen.

Matches I’m not counting (But am counting toward my Wrestler Seen count):

Pre-NXT Takeover tapings: Honestly these were 3 pretty boring matches, the pre Takeover tapings are never anything to write home about.

Post-NXT Takeover tapings: These are TV Tapings, because of that there’s a lot of squash matches, feud building, etc. Ranking these matches alongside these matches, most of which had a big-event feel, would be unfair.

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