#also sorry if I sound especially harsh in parts. I'm at work and the kids are extremely fuckin loud today which is making it hard to think

[paunchbunny]

i wanna ask for advice, and i apologize if it sounds weird or stupid. im in the northeast and i recently transferred to a state school after doing community for a bit. it's a big school with a lot of people from all over, which was really exciting at first because i thought i'd easily find people with similar interests, and also to really get in the dating game. However, it's been hard to find people are into nerdy shit like me, which has also made it to hard to find girls because i like nerdy girls. but the hardest part, and this is where i apologize again for sounding weird or stupid, is that... i haven't really seen any fat girls here. i've seen a couple but only in passing and never again. i attribute this to my school being a party school so people who aren't really into that or are generally shy just chill in their dorms, but it really sucks because i like being social just not in the frat way, and there's really no nerd clubs or anything outside of esports. i'm just kind of disheartened because i find myself not being attracted to 98% of the girls i see here, either physically or emotionally, and the ones i do like may not be leaving their dorms because of the environment here. so ig my question where would i look for nerdy fat girls in a place like this? (again so sorry for showing how much of a dumb kid i am). i know "fat woman" isn't some universal demographic where i can go to an exact place and always find them, but what else should i do? should i look into dating apps? are there any other types of clubs or things i should look into? i also just want to note that i love feedism and fat-related kinks, but at the end of the day I just like big girls so being into those kinks isn't something that's a must in a partner.

also with that being said, and ik i made it seem completely dry here, there is one girl i've seen relatively consistently on the way to classes and in the dining halls who is really really pretty and seems like we'd have similar interests, but idk how to introduce myself. we've only walked by each other and never talked so i have nothing to work with. would it be appropriate to stop her on the way to class or walk up to her at the dining hall and say sum like "hey i've seen you a couple of times on campus and thought you were pretty" and continue from there? i just don't want to look like a weirdo trying to talk to her or make her uncomfortable.

i hope all of this makes sense despite being all over the place. if you do happen to read this i want to preemptively say thank you for taking time out of your day to read this silly shit. I'm going to be transferring out of here for next semester due to reasons outside of socializing, so maybe things will be better at my next school but i would still like to make the most out of my time and make some sort of connections. especially because i've never been in a relationship before and really want to start putting myself out there. thanks again and have a good rest of your day!

ok so I see two main questions here hopefully I give a good answer.

1)I think the idea of seeking a partner based off appearance is fruitless. Ik that sounds harsh, but from my experience, i've found I've been the happiest in relationships that I kinda find myself falling into and build with the other person. I think actively seeking someone who fits your physical preferences will leave u feeling really self conscious, it'll invite negative opportunities to go "why do they not like me am I not enough" and that shit is defeating and soul crushing. If I were you, I would prioritize school and maybe dabble in something like a dating app with no real stock in the game.

if u want to meet more nerdy ppl tho, try a local game store with game nights or maybe a local convention. both my partner and I have had success meeting other like minded ppl at places like that :3

2) In terms of the girl ur eye-ing, if she has similar interests as u, maybe point out merch if she has any. Be like "wOAH I love your Pikachu keychain, is that your favorite pokemon?" I wouldn't force anything beyond that if she doesn't seem interested in conversation. even if she has short answers and is preoccupied with getting to class, she's still gonna have that memory of "that guy who was chill and complimented my Pikachu keychain" which is inherently a plus

dont feel obligated to follow this advice, for all I know it could be the worst advice ever. Either way I'm rooting for u anon!

[condorclaw]

Since a lot of this actually happened while I was asleep, I wanna give my part on it now because it's something I have VERY strong feelings on

Note: this is not a vague against anyone in particular (there is a specific example I give because it's personal and was the one that sparked me in thinking about this, but this is more so a commentary on a LOT of things I've seen more than very specific instances besides the one I give)

Nobody here is superior just because of what SMP they decide to watch. All fans have such incredible passion for what they watch, like have you SEEN the fancontent? It's absolutely amazing, and people made it just because they felt so strongly about what they watched! These things are gateways to creativity and experimentation, people trying all sorts of things or being encouraged to make their own just through the story itself and the passion of other fans! No matter what SMP or POV you choose to follow, you're still in a fanbase filled with lovely creators, be it visual artists (traditional and digital), writers, analysts, or even people making text posts about silly little things that make them happy to think about?

So why the hell are there signs of people believing they're superior above fans of other SMPs or even different POVs? (I don't mean people who want to promote their favourite aspects by the way, I'm talking about people who seem to believe they're automatically better than other people for watching a specific thing.) That's the fun in having all these different options! You get to chose someone who has a style you enjoy, and you can have chances to check out new creators you haven't watched before! (I'm one of those people who watches/is trying to watch every Last Life + Hermitcraft + Empires POV, and have attempted to watch every DSMP POV (I did fail in that department because there's. A lot.), and have absolutely adored watching several of them outside of their respective SMPs since they're all just really cool creators. That's just me though! Sometimes creators don't click for other people, and that's totally cool! Just don't make people feel bad for not enjoying something you enjoy. It doesn't help anyone in that department.

On top of that seeming entitlement, some people are just going out of their way to target people who enjoy different SMPs, even namedropping some of them for specific reasons (I'm directly mentioning the shit with Flypaw here, since Fly is my friend. Here's smth with more depth about that in particular since Mae did a better job with explaining it then I could here), and even involving CCs too. I don't understand how people could think that would help their case with whatever they're trying to do, or even if they're doing it because "it's funny", it's still annoying to a lot of people and even makes them feel uncomfortable. Nobody is benefiting from this, expect the amusement from the ones who instigate it I guess, but even then it comes back to bite you in the ass.

You don't have to like other SMPs, or other members, or other characters, or other whatever-the-hell-it-is, but that's not an excuse to go after people who DO like those things in a mean-spirited way. We all have our little community bubbles that tend to bump into each other and intersect occasionally, but we're all still part of one big community as a whole, being MCYT. We all like our silly little block stories that make us feel things! That make us want to create and to talk! Why on earth are we trying to pit people against each other when we all fall under the same umbrella? And you don't have to be all buddy-buddy with the other side if you don't like them, you just don't have to be mean to them, especially if you're not involved in any other way besides "I don't like that side of people because of what they enjoy".

As for DSMP: it's important to remember that a LOT of fans of other SMPs, did start out in the DSMP fandom. It helped introduce us to the world of roleplay within MC, and it helped a lot of people get started with finding enjoyment in creating and analyzing. A lot of people are getting interested on other SMPs because of the DSMP's impact, and that's amazing! We all got to learn about so many more stories we could watch as well, and find the same amount passion in, if not more! I myself used to be a mainly DSMP blog, and though I now focus a lot more on other SMPs with the occasional reblog, it's still where I got my roots from. It helped introduce me to the possibilities of all these stories, and in turn, helped me out a lot with my life in multiple ways.

The MCYT community can be absolutely beautiful. It's filled with so much love and enjoyment, and an incredible amount of young artists who find their footing, along with old artists who find enjoyment in creating something new. No matter what side of the community you come from, you can find something you can connect with. Infighting within the community just defeats the structure that's been built, and there is a strong difference between discussion with/about someone you disagree with (though discussion about specific cases that directly involve specific names should remain within private areas), and just going out and harassing them or targeting them.

This is an accepting space of all kinds of people, especially people who can feel safe just being themselves and expressing their passion, when they might not be able to do that outside of the internet. Trying to pit people against each other in such a back-handed way is really fucking stupid, and tends to make people feel less comfortable and might even drive them away. We're all fans of fucking MC roleplay, we can at least treat others with a little fucking respect.

[ephedrathirsts]

Teach me

Synopsis: Your best friend asks you to take his virginity. As the both of you spend more time getting intimate with each other, you are forced to acknowledge your feelings for one another.

Contains: idiots in love trope, friends to lovers trope, lovers in denial, one-bed trope, crack and sarcasm, mutual pining, smut, fingering (reader receiving), dry-humping, fluff, afab reader, eventual angst, anger issues, allusions to surgery

Pairing: Hunter Sylvester! x afab! reader

Word count: 4900

Parts: I, II

You woke up feeling Hunter's breath tickling the back of your neck, his hand still resting firmly on top of you. You turned around to look at him as he was asleep. He looked very peaceful- a huge contrast with his usual state of being. His eyebrows were scrunched up and his mouth was slightly open. He looked cute just lying there. He pulled you closer and nuzzled into you.

  "I could feel you staring at me even in my sleep." He yawned and swallowed.

 You were caught, embarrassment flooding your head. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up." You whispered apologetically.

 "It's ok, you can make it up to me by staying like this for a little bit." You flushed. He wanted to hold you close. You were baffled but also incredibly joyful about it.

 "I can do that." You assured

  He made a clicking noise with his tongue and pecked your cheek. You were melting. The last thing you had ever imagined is Hunter being so soft and loving. I guess it is true what people say- harsh exterior, mushy interior. His hair was getting all messy as he adjusted to lay on your chest and put his arms on your sides.

 This whole course or whatever he called it was working all too well with you realizing that you might in fact have feelings for this weirdo. You couldn't keep lying to yourself anymore. Your heart was getting warmer for him by the second and the lovey-dovey act made it all the worse. You needed to snap out of it. Detach before it got fatal.

 "I think I need to go home."

 "We haven't even had breakfast yet. There is Captain Crunch in the kitchen, especially for you." He smiled

 "Oh, fuck you, asshole." You jabbed him lightly in the ribs and giggled.

 "Ouch, that hurt a lot. Don't you want to kiss it better?" He pouted, pleading to you with his eyes.

 You lowered your head to level with his ribs and kissed them over his T-shirt. Then you quickly got out of bed and got your clothes from his desk. "Ok, I gotta run now. Hope you feel better." You nudged yourself to get dressed as fast as possible and head out of the door but before you knew it he was out of bed and hugging you.

 "I'm not going to be keeping you. Just wanted to say bye." He declared as he put one loose strand of hair behind your ear.

 Your heart was in your throat. Or somewhere else entirely, you weren't sure. But all you knew was that you couldn't speak. You couldn't say anything. You tried to calm down your breathing discreetly, bit down on your tongue, and coughed up a quiet "goodbye". You let go of him and rushed out the door.

 His face dropped once you had gone. He knew he had fucked up. Maybe you wouldn't want to even see him again. He probably freaked you out with how needy he was acting but he couldn’t control it. His plan wasn’t going so great after all.

 "Fuck!" He hissed as he punched the kitchen island. "Shit, that actually did hurt. Fuck!" He snickered again, holding his fist close to his face so he could inspect it.

 "Don't break any of my furniture, kid!" His dad came into the room. "You had a rough night? Wanna talk about it..." For a moment Hunter considered it and then..

 "... I mean I get it; they always look prettier at night and in the morning... Uh... Real hags, am I right?" He tried to sound as if he empathized with his son.

 "You are talking about my best friend!" Hunter snapped.

 "Oh, she spent the night. She is a good kid. But what I said still applies. Everyone looks better at night and when you wake up you realize you made a mistake..."

 "Yeah, I get that," Hunter mumbled to himself with a pained expression. "I'm alright, I'm just gonna go down to my room."

 "Ok, kiddo. I'm gonna make bacon later, you can help yourself to a serving.." Hunter had already left.

  In the meantime, you were sprinting home, galloping even, floating through the air. But why? You felt so nice with him. There was no actual reason for you to go. You couldn't take it. All this uncertainty. All of these intrusive thoughts clouding your judgment. You couldn’t like your friend. Especially not now. Not after what you agreed to do. It is only bound to become worse for you while in the back of his mind there was probably a mental list of all of the girls he was going to bed or whatever.

You had to put your feelings aside. Your friend needed you and you promised to help. And to start making things right you needed to apologize. "I'm sorry I ran off in such a hurry. I remembered I had to look after my uncle's dog. I had a really good time last night! Next time you can pick the show :)"  

  You texted, wanting to make sure you didn't offend him in any way with your behavior, sprinkling in a little white lie to seem as not so big of an asshole.

 Hunter's phone buzzed. He saw he got a text from you. He wasn't prepared for whatever you had sent but curiosity urged him to open the message. "It's no problem. Next time we are doing it at yours and ur ordering."  He replied, a smile appearing on his face.

  Hunter came over to your house the next weekend. He made a mental note: no funny business, no overdoing it, no scaring you off. He wanted to do anything and everything with you. Go all the way, but you didn't need to know it or sense it. He shouldn't have made it obvious. "Ok, here goes nothing." He whispered to himself.

 You opened the door after hearing him knock, shivers and cold sweats running down your body. You could do this. It was just a normal hang-out with your friend. Nothing more. The two of you hadn't spent one on one time for a whole week. That's probably why you were feeling so anxious. "Hello there.." you said awkwardly."Come on in. I've ordered Chinese food and I have snacks."

 "Cool.." he smiled politely, shoving his hands into his pockets.

  "What do you want to watch.."

 "Look I'm sorry. I can't just not say anything. I know I weirded you out last time and I didn't mean to. We can stop with the lessons. I can learn the old-fashioned way." He cleared his throat

 "Hunter, you can't possibly weird me out, we've known each other for so long that there Is nothing you could do to achieve that..." You stated well-intentioned, completely lying through your teeth. "I said I was going to help you and from the beginning, you told me how you wanted it to be. You don't want it to seem fabricated, you want it to be natural, and if that's how you are around people you like then whoever gets on your rooster will be incredibly lucky." You smiled at him invitingly

 "Thank you.." he still felt a bit shy and out of place but he appreciated your words. "So we are continuing this experiment?" He asked, waiting for a confirmation.

 "As long as you want to, yes."

 "Great, that's great, yeah. It is totally going to help in the future... you know... when I like someone.."

  "Yeah, I do know." You mumbled disappointedly.

  The both of you were seated on the sofa in the living room, barely speaking to each other, not because you were so engulfed in the incredible storytelling of "Extreme Cheapskates" but because the both of you were too afraid to disturb the peace, to ruin everything. There was an uncomfortable amount of distance between you and both of you secretly wanted to break it, but you were set on restraining yourselves. Wishing that the other would be the one to make the first move or to speak up.

 "I'm gonna go get the popcorn out of the microwave. Be right back"

 "Ok, don't take too much time or you might miss the juicy part."

 "Sure, as if there is a juicy part." You welled sarcastically from the kitchen, reaching into the microwave, distractedly feeling for the hot bag of popcorn, palms first. You yelped in pain.

 "Fuck, ouch" you hissed. Hunter jumped out of his seat and hurried over to you. He looked at you with worry as you ran your hand under the kitchen sink, cold water splashing over your skin.

 "I'm ok, don't worry. Just slightly burned myself, a common mistake. Just me being clumsy." You joked but you could still see him coming closer to you to inspect your hand, drying it off with a towel and holding it caringly.

  "Do you have Band-Aids or a plaster?" He asked

  "Don't be silly, this is nothing. It's not even an actual burn. It just stung a little bit. That's all." You said reassuringly, becoming increasingly aware of his proximity. You could smell his cologne, see every little scratch on his face. As he was holding your gaze, he brought your hand to his mouth and started planting little kisses over it. You gulped. You couldn't take it. His eyes boring into yours. Into your soul even.

  He opened his mouth to speak a soft "Is that better?" but you hungrily hushed him with your lips, gripping tightly onto the fabric of his jacket.

 He kissed you back, hands on your waist, pulling you close, sensing the scent of your shampoo. He wanted you and maybe you wanted him too.

  Not letting go of each other, you led him back into the living room and pushed him down onto the sofa. You were on top of him, looking down with a sheepish smile. He reached up and cupped your face, kissing you way more confidently this time, his tongue meeting yours and playing with it. He put his hands on the small of your back, pushing you down to close the gap between you. As you broke away, he started looking at you all starstruck.

 "Do you want to go up to my room?" You asked in a hushed voice. That's all he ever wanted for as long as he could remember, but now when the possibility was so close he panicked. He wasn't ready to have you this close not knowing whether it was going to last.

 "Yeah, I do," he said as he gently kissed your neck. "But I can't…I can't do it tonight…I'm sorry." He broke away from your skin

 "Oh?" Flush set over your face. "I didn't mean... I get it if you're not ready, I just wanted more privacy... Not sure when my parents are gonna come bursting through the door. I can't have them seeing me on top of you like this."

 Fuck, that's how it sounded. I mean maybe you wanted it. You did want to actually. But you were going to let it play out slow and steady. You didn't mean to rush things.

 "Oh, ok then.. let’s go.." Hunter chuckled embarrassedly.

 "I mean, I thought you were staying over. Like when I stayed over last time. I'm sorry I made things awkward. I didn't mean to kill the mood." You fidgeted with your fingers.

  "It's ok, you didn't." He laughed softly and pecked your lips.

  Both of you went up the stairs and straight to your room. You were getting progressively hornier. Inexplicably so, right? You hushed the lighting a bit and played music from one of his playlists so he feels more at home. Then you held his hand and whispered: "Do you want to come to bed with me?"

  "Yes, positively so." He answered excitedly.

 He was such a kid. You loved him for it. Uh.. the l-word. Nope, too early for that. Time to push the thought down and not examine it ever again.

 He laid on top of you this time, stroking your hair and slowly kissing down your neck, being careful not to leave any marks. He looked down at you adoringly and played with the hem of your shirt.

  "You can take it off if you want to." You told him almost inaudibly

 A rush coursed through his body, he put his arms on your stomach and slowly started to peel it off of you when a voice echoed through the house. "Honey, we are home." Shit, cockblocks. The nation's favorites. "Come down for a moment, you need to put away all these plates if you are going to bed. You can't just leave a mess like that." Your mom shouted.

  "Coming" you answered with annoyance. "I'm sorry.." you started massaging your temples angrily

 "It's ok, I'll come down with you. It's my mess too." He grinned lovingly and you gave him an appreciative kiss in response. "Thanks"

After you were done washing the dishes and organizing them back into their respective places, the two of you went up to your room again. "I'm sorry for the interruption." You looked at him apologetically

 "It's ok, we can pick up where we left off some other time right?" He asked all hopeful and giddy.

 "Yes, of course." You went to the bathroom and undressed. Putting on one of your favorite slip dress. Maybe you weren't going to have sex tonight but you could still give him a view. Hunter peeled off his T-shirt and jeans and tucked himself in bed, sniffing your pillows before you came back in.

  "I'm sorry. It is so warm. I'm going to boil if I wear the T-shirt..." He spat out distractedly as he saw you come closer to him.

 "That's ok. I want you to be comfortable." You were holding his gaze and you could see his eyes all too obviously roaming your body. Your hair was down, the skirt of the gown ending only a couple of inches after your thighs. One of the straps had slid down your shoulders and the material of the dress was leaving pretty little to the imagination.

 Without a beat, he grabbed you by the hips and positioned you on top of him, your skirt riding up and revealing more of your skin to him. Both of your straps were slightly off your shoulders now and your breath had hitched in your throat. "Hunter.."

  "…You said you weren't ready.." you uttered as his lips came down to your neck, not so tentatively this time, not caring at all whether he left a mark. You gasped loudly at this action.

 "I can still make you feel good, right?" He said in a hushed husky tone. "What else are a guitarist’s fingers good for? Just don't make too much noise. I don't want your parents banning me from your house." He smirked and flipped you over getting on top of you. You had never wanted him more. You bit your bottom lip. You were getting so wet just by listening to him talk.

  He continued kissing and sucking on your neck and slowly touching up your thighs, scratching them, making you hiss. "May I?" He said pleading.

 "Ye-yes... Please do.."

 He was getting so fucking hard seeing you like this. But he wanted to prove himself to you. Show you how much he values your pleasure over his. He started massaging your clit, warranting a gasp or two from you. As he found the right tempo, he could see you fully letting go, gripping tightly onto his biceps. Scratching him as you did, which he loved.

 When he was sure you were wet enough, he inserted one of his fingers into you, hitting you just in the right spot. Your legs were shaking. You were nothing but a sweating, cursing mess under his touch."Fuck, Hunter, don't stop!"

  "Not planning to."He dipped his head to suck on the upper part of your breasts and added in another finger. Pumping in and out at a steady pace he started moving faster into you, making you moan. Damn all of his experience plucking strings. It felt waay too good.

 He thrusted into you faster, knowing all too well you weren't going to last much longer. He bore into your eyes. He could see you were close, you just needed a little encouragement and encouraging he was:  -"It's ok, you can let go. Come all over my fingers. I'll lick them clean later."

 That was all you needed to hear. You gripped him harder, pushing yourself up to crash into him, and bit down on his shoulder as you finished all over his hand. He continued fingering you until you came down from your high.

 He removed his fingers from you and inserted them into his mouth, savoring every little drop of you. "You taste fucking amazing." He exclaimed as he bent down to kiss your lips. Your cheeks were red and there was no hiding it.

  You held up a glass of water to him. You were mesmerized as if you were seeing him with new eyes. This was Hunter, your presumed ‘just friend’. The one who had just made you come and put you on cloud nine. After he gulped down his water he asked with a concerned expression: "Did I do well?"

 You wrapped your arms around him and kissed him gently. “Yes, you did fantastically." You smiled into his lips and he smiled too.

   The metal aficionado was extremely geeked. Reviewing his notes every day and replaying the time you had spent together in his head constantly. He was trying to be slick, but he wasn't sure how long it would take before he crumbled.

 He had fooled you. Unbeknownst to you, he had no intention of even entertaining the idea of getting with his so-called ‘groupies’. He wanted you to be his teacher because was only interested in pleasing one person- you. Studying what you desire and what puts you off.

  It probably sounded a bit scheming but he couldn't just go up to you to confess that he liked you, you know, as a normal fucking human being would. He didn't even want to fully admit it to himself. Emotions were tricky for him and so were for you. The situation wouldn't have gone anywhere if he were to breach the gap with you not returning his feelings. No, he needed a plan to make you want him too and he was willing to do anything to achieve it. That's why when you finally followed up on your next lesson, he was ecstatic.

 "I'm gonna come by your place later tonight."

  "Cool, text me when ur close." He wanted to sound nonchalant but he was freaking out. Acting like a fangirl watching fancams of one of her favorite kpop idols. He was so giddy and happy that even his father got worried.

"What the fuck is that squeaky noise coming out of your room, kid? Are you ok?"

"I'm doing amazing birth enabler! Also don't just pop in the stairway without announcing yourself. I could be wanting my privacy."

 "When you get yourself a fancy house with a pool, music studio, three bedrooms, three bathrooms, kitchen and living room by cutting and filling up tits is when you will be entitled to your privacy."

"I know you would rather be FEELING up tits instead-but if I were to properly think about doing some of that myself I would still need my fucking space, so leave! Now!"

"I'm paying your therapist way too much!"

"That's all of the precious boob money for you!" Hunter screamed annoyed, trying to sound witty while he heard a different set of footsteps down the stairs.

"I'm sorry, did I come at the wrong time? I texted you ten minutes ago and rang the doorbell but you didn't reply so I let myself in. Oh, and hello mister Sylvester."

"Well hello to you too, looks like some people your age still have manners, Hunter! Always a pleasure to have you home, darling. I wanted to say I'm sorry about your aunt… It's terrible what happened to her. You know you're basically family so if you ever want to have a breast augmentation, I can make you a deal for the implants afterward. With a chest your size, not too big to be a burden to your back but still eye-catching enough you should keep the volume so..."

 "Father, get the fuck out! And stop staring at students’ tits!"

 "Don't get ridiculous Hunter, she is like a daughter to me. I would never.. anyways I think I have some work to do. I'm gonna leave you kids to it." He replied as he not so discreetly winked at Hunter

 "Fuck... Fucking finally. I'm so sorry! He was incredibly fucking insensitive and creepy."

 "He was staring directly at my chest, like eyeing it reeal good."

 "Yeah, he is fucking disgusting. I'm so sorry."

 "It isn't your fault; you don't have to apologize for his behavior. I'm fine."

 "Do you want to come some other time; I don't want you to feel uncomfortable."

 "No, I take all of my ventures very seriously. I told you I was going to be here so here I am."

"Yeah," Hunter said self-consciously, scratching the back of his neck. He noticed how pretty you looked. You always looked pretty, but you had gone out of your way to do so this time. With your hair done, make-up on, a familiar scent of your perfume drifting through the air and the pendent Hunter had gifted you for your birthday hanging around your neck. He was entranced.

 "I don't think we should go all the way tonight. We are still testing things out, being in the beginning stages and all."

 Hunter snapped back awake from his daydream."Mhm" was all he could muster. He wanted to go and grab you, kiss you right this moment but he couldn't just do that after his father's speech. He needed to get the mood going. "Firstly, do you want to listen to some music? You can play whatever you want. Even your shitty the Weeknd knockoffs."

 "Chase Atlantic have some good songs, ok? And it's not so much about quality with them. It's about the vibe of it all. The experience. But that's a great suggestion for the occasion."

 "I don't know, they sound like try-hard vampire wannabes."

 "Yeah, that’s the beauty of it."

 You turned on the speaker and played one of your playlists. For a moment you were somewhere else, mouthing the lyrics, humming to yourself, slowly rocking your hips in tune with the music as Hunter came up behind you and turned your head so you were facing him."Good thing you're also beautiful, otherwise I would never listen to that crap." He muttered in a hushed voice.

  You mustered a barely audible "thank you" and he shushed you with his lips. It was hard to get used to. Him touching you like that, talking to you like he wasn't little old Hunter. The one you grew up with, the one you had known ever since diapers, but right now it was too hard to perceive him that way. You had already gone over the crossing line and there was no going back.

 He held your hand in his and whispered into your mouth: "Do you want to come to bed with me? I promise I won't do anything to scare you off." Batting his eyelashes, trying to look as innocent as possible.

 "Do you even know how to?" You teased, feeling him come up against you again way more assertively this time.

  His hands landed on your hips, yours entangled in his hair. His tongue slithered into your mouth, soft gasps escaping both of you. He was calculated at first, confident but measured until he got progressively hungrier for your kiss. As you started reaching for his back, pushing him closer and closer to you he deepened the kiss and began roaming your body with his hands. Your knees were getting weak just from the slightest touch. He was a virgin but that didn’t mean he wasn’t a hell of a good kisser. You started to lose balance. He prompted you up by sliding his knee between your legs. A dirty trick that was working very well in his favor.

You parted to get some air and he whispered again. "I hope not." You were flushed, all knots in your stomach and trembling pulsing sensation all over your limbs. He had turned you into jello just by kissing you and that did scare you because you didn't expect to feel this good, to want him so much.

 "Lead the way." You your heart was racing.

 Hunter grabbed your hand again and sat on top of his bed. To his surprise, you didn't sit next to him or opposite him. You made yourself comfortable in his lap, lightly grinding down on him. All of his confidence from before flew out the window. You looked at him with lust in your eyes, your lips forming a devilish smile as you scanned his face. He was getting nervous. He wanted to impress you and he loved every second of it but he wasn't expecting you to look at him the same way. He guessed you were committed to your job. He was speechless just looking at you, wanting to remember this forever.

"What are you getting so shy for, didn't you invite me here?" You grinned cockily "It's ok baby boy, I can do some of the work now. You just relax." You whispered into his lips kissing him yourself with none of the measure or sensitivity of some of your previous kisses. You were boiling from the inside. A volcano ready to erupt. You grinded on him wantingly, letting him feel the wetness seeping through your underwear as your skirt had ridden up your thighs, exposing them deliciously. He moaned in response when you pulled on his hair, nibbling and sucking on his lips and finishing him off by biting the lower one.

 You being so desperately horny for him got him so incredibly hard. He was a mess under your touch but he needed you to be one under his as well. He couldn't control it anymore. He held down your inner thighs, squeezing them hard as his fingers dug into your skin. You gasped and moaned. He began sucking on your neck, leaving purple bruises on his path. He licked and kissed your calves and upper breasts as you purred into his ear."Hunter, this feels so damn good."

 Electricity coursed through his body. He needed to have you all to himself like this forever. He gripped your hips hard, moving you on top of him faster and faster. He kissed you just like you had kissed him

before. With his lustful tongue making patterns in your mouth, sucking on your lips, and then biting you playfully. He put more and more speed in, feeling your heat press against his erection so violently. He was going to come; he couldn't contain himself but he needed you to come with him too.

 "God, you make me insane. You are so fucking hot." He hissed while bucking his hips upwards, hitting your core in the most sinful way.

 You could see he was close and you needed something to push both of you off the edge so without even thinking you whimpered into his mouth. "If you get this hard and desperate for me now, I could only imagine what you would do when you're stretching me out with your dick."

 That was the last straw. He couldn't hold on anymore. He came under you, cum bursting all over his boxers and he couldn't be happier about it. Your legs were twitching as you came a second later, a vibration coursing through your body. You closed your eyes for a moment just to open them and to remember -you just made your best friend cream his pants and you wanted to do it again and again.

 But then the sinking feeling came in. He wanted to do this as a form of practice for other girls. He was going to creep up under your skin,  get to your heart, and then use all of the moments you've spent together to please someone else. Like it didn't mean anything. And the worst part was that this was exactly what you agreed to, so why did it make you ache?

  Hunter was blissful. He was much closer to you than he had ever been before and it seemed like you were feeling this newfound closeness too, that you liked It, but this voice in the back of his head came back rushing in: "She is just following up on her promise. If she feels anything towards me right now, it's probably pity."

 You slowly untangled yourself from the metalhead, got up, and straightened up your skirt. "Well, I gotta go now. Good job today, partner.. uh student." You gave him an awkward high-five and bolted out of his room.

 Yeah, it was definitely pity.

[hazelnut-u-out]

episode review time....

(contains spoilers for "ricktional mortpoon's rickmas mortcation")

let me preface this by saying i love rick and i do not want to sound like a hater lol.

i'm not even gonna pretend to be enthralled by the prospect of breaking this episode down. it was good, even great in a lot of ways, but... it broke a part of me, i think.

i feel betrayed. i feel morty's heartbreak. i really do.

it was a decent exploration of rick attempting to heal while he's not ready yet. he's not ready to move on and get better if it's going to be hard work.

...and honestly? i'm angry with him for that.

i'm angry with rick for victim blaming morty, yet AGAIN. for acting entitled to morty's forgiveness. for lying and tricking that little boy into thinking someone real cared about him.

for dragging a 14yo into something this heavy. this destructive. this reckless. this unforgiving and all-consuming.

GOD i am so sick of this. i'm all for rick's healing, but why is it being put before morty's every time? i mean... i get that there's four more seasons to go. morty has plenty of time to be given justice, but... i feel so bad for him.

i think i'm giving it a 7.5/10 after a rewatch because it really was wonderfully and realistically written.

i don't want to come across as too harsh, because i definitely do sympathize with rick. i don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to break the audience. i think that's a wonderful tool of art. nor do i think protagonists have to be good. it's just a harsh reality that your beloved protagonist is destined to be the villain in the story, though, and i feel like that's what rick is fated to be for morty.

i attribute most of my negative feelings towards my morty bias and my emotional attachment to the last episode.

okay... general thoughts, as always:

-is it bad to say i prefer rick bot over real rick? because, uhhh... i do. he wove his way into my heart by the end of all of this. poor dude. he really loved his family. i kinda wished we could've kept him around.

why couldn't we?

give morty a decent grandpa challenge: go!

i think he's my new favorite rick aside from c-137. what a badass wholesome peepaw of a dude!!!

-morty loves his family so damn much, and it feels like none of them have really earned that from him. he wants his family to have a nice christmas, even if his is going to shit.

-morty crying when curtis yelled at him made me tear up.

"he's busy and i hate him!"

it's just the last little thing he needed to break down. he's a little kid who's having the worst christmas imaginable, and... no one cares about fixing that for him.

other than rick bot.

-i actually loved the moment where rick says he'll get "neurotypical cooties," and implies that neurotypicals aren't creative. casual autism rep lol.

-rick victim blaming morty once again... ugh... bro just immediately regressed.

all morty had to do was say he was "boring." rick just proved that he'd have pulled another "the vat of acid episode" if he hadn't made rick bot.

how many hurtful things do you think you've said to morty, rick? bc i can guarantee it's a million times more hurtful than anything you've ever heard come from morty's mouth. especially "boring."

tbh... i think that it might say something about his character that he didn't do that, and he chose to give morty a better grandpa instead, but also...

ouch.

i know it's a statement about how he needs to tie up his unfinished business before he can move on and really put in the work, but... morty must just feel like he's not worth the effort of apologizing.

the man that morty follwed down into that lab isn't the one who said "i'm sorry." he's not the one that said "i love you too." he's not the one who hugged morty.

the man who said those things is not the grandpa that morty chose all the way back in "solaricks."

morty is consistently willing to put the work into helping rick, but he's constantly shown that rick can't be bothered to put the effort into helping him.

-the fact that morty felt bad for yelling at rick? i just wanted to tell him that he has a right to be upset...

-notice how not one member of the family mentions morty's absence from the holiday family time? yikes...

poor little guy.

i think this is why that reveal bothered me so much... he thought someone real cared about him. he thought a real person cared about saying "i'm sorry. i love you too." to him.

but no.

-what's even more heartbreaking? he learned to care about rick bot. that was the grandpa he wanted, but he doesn't even get to choose that, anymore.

"i don't want another you!"

-bro rick just won't let up. the lightsaber bit? GOD, man. just let the kid have a moment.

-something is so comically wrong with rick's ability to create AI systems lmao. they're always so sassy and go against his orders. the garage? the car? dude... maybe rethink your stance on AI autonomy. you're giving it more freewill than you allow your grandson.

-i literally can't even be upset with morty for being angry with rick. i'm here for it. smoke his ass, lil junebug!

-poor rick bot trying to come clean to his family. that guilt sure did eat him alive :((

look at him with his girls... :(

i guess that explains his softer voice acting for last ep and this ep. he's just a completely different rick.

-it kept making me upset that rick demonized morty over and over again for trying to stick up for himself. it was really hard to watch him not even try to pretend to care about earning morty's trust, respect, and forgiveness.

he HONESTLY thinks he's entitled to it.

-MORTY!! YOU ADORABLE LITTLE BADASS!

-curtis is such an ass lmao. gay icon.

-noticed these gay lil soldiers. ship them!!

-I. LOVE. RICK. BOT.

go dude, go!! he's honestly so sweet... i'm going to genuinely, deeply mourn this character.

-haha, how cute is it that morty acts like a little adventure expert? "slowly closing door! slide!"

-poor rick bot... suicidal ass :(

-dude, morty just cannot catch a break, huh?

"i've always wanted to fight with a lightsaber, but not like this! you ruined it!"

every time i think this kid is gonna get a piece of his childhood back, it's like... nope!

-the joke about the robot with lightsabers for eyes was actually so funny.

-okay, okay... the slow motion scenes WERE hilarious. i must admit.

-it broke me when morty said he was done with forgiveness... especially to see him follow rick down to that lab just a few moments later...

will he ever stop hoping that people can be better? will he ever stop sacrificing himself to his own detriment?

one thing about morty? he's gonna try to do the right thing. the noble thing.

-ugh... poor morty... i hate the fact that this pushed him to trust rick again. i hate the fact that he had to lose rick bot.

and rick twisting the meaning of rick bot's words, too? i don't think rick bot meant for rick to offer to drag morty into this.

oh, well... i can just tell this dynamic in s7 is going to be harrowing. morty just wants to believe his grandpa can be good. i hope he can :(

-lmao why is rick essentially curtis's tech sugar daddy? slay i guess?

-this ending scene is heartbreaking. morty once again a slave to his grandpa's madness? so obviously terrified? morty's just a kid, and what an unfair choice to force him to make...

"it's going to take over your life, morty!"

"it's the most painful shit i've ever been through and i'm fucking bringing you into it, because you asked for it!"

did he ask for it...? crying and sobbing.

i am super excited for the new season, though! it seems like they're gonna be ballsy and make it hyper-serialized when in comparison to the rest of the show, which... hell yeah!!

i guess i'm both excited and anxious to see what they do to my boys, though. i really need them to heal and work together. i was really starting to hope that rick was starting to treat morty like a partner- or, at least, a kid who's feelings, wants, and needs matter just as much as his own.

just like morty to lay himself upon the altar so that rick may bathe in his blood- a fitting sacrifice. a noble end.

i'm about to custom make a tee with morty's face on it that just says: "SAVE THE BABY 2023"

[soramei]

Intentional - Part 6

Pairing: Bang Chan x Reader (she/her)

Summary: Landing your first real job at JYPE was something short of a miracle. You were prepared to face the new struggles of this elusive career whilst moving to a new country, however, nothing could have prepared you for him. Will stolen glances, secret touches, and hushed nights spent in the recording room ever be enough for the both of you?

Genre: idol!bang chan au, forbidden relationship, coworkers to eventual lovers, slow burn

Warnings: cursing, eventual smut

Word Count: 3.5k

Masterlist

A/N: hehe my mistake, i forgot to queue up this update and by the time i realized it was too late so i'm posting this a day late ^^

Taglist (reply to be tagged!): @planetdemon​ @hvunvely​ @fluffybitch0325​ @fashi0nablee @juststop88 @straykisz @theultimaterad @margaritas-en-la-montania @meowtella @xsam1992x

The man froze in his tracks after entering the room and catching you laying on the couch with Bang Chan on top, practically devouring you. He looked scarred, to be frank, as he quickly snapped back to reality and bolted out the door in less than a second. As he made his grand escape, you forcefully pushed Bang Chan off of you. He swore under his breath before tripping out the door, trying to follow the man who had just caught you.

You sat up, head in your hands. This was exactly what you were scared of. What you worried so much about a few nights back. What Bang Chan reassured you of not happening.

You feel panic set in as you thought of the worst case scenario. Yup. You were going to get fired for sure. And the news will go to the public, resulting in Bang Chan also losing his job. You would then have to move back with your parents, and everybody will have the same look of shame and pity whenever they see you.

This wasn’t good. You stood up to make your own inconspicuous escape, but it seemed like Bang Chan beat you to the door.

“That was Jisung,” Bang Chan said. He entered, making sure to lean against the door just in case anybody else wanted to intrude.

The name and the face clicked in your mind. He was part of Stray Kids as well as Bang Chan’s coworker. You recognized him more commonly as Han, as his name has come up in a lot of the work you’ve been sent.

��What did he say?” you asked skeptically. Worry was setting in.

“Don’t worry, he said he wouldn’t tell anybody. I trust him.”

How were you supposed to believe that? You’ve never even spoken to this man in your life, and now you were supposed to put the future of your career in his hands?

“But I don’t, Chan. I’ve never even met this guy in real life before. How can I trust that he won’t tell one of your other group members?” You heard your voice get louder with every word.

“I had a talk with him just now, Y/n, you can trust him. Out of everybody in this company, he’s the least likely to tell just anybody — even one of our members.” He paused, “don’t you trust me, Y/n?”

You were speechless. Your trust in him was completely different from your trust in Jisung, and you were sure he knew that. Obviously you trusted Bang Chan, but you didn’t know the extent that his group members would go to for a secret. Especially one that could have an effect on their careers as well.

“You can’t just ask me that, and you know it,” you sneered. “You know what? It’s my fault. I was too careless. I’ll leave now.”

“Wait, Y/n-”

You didn’t even let him finish before stomping out the door, making sure to check your surroundings for anybody that could catch you before heading back up to your cubicle. You felt the heat of your cheeks the whole elevator ride.

You were on edge for the rest of the day. When Manager Chen asked to see you in her office, you were so startled that you quite literally jumped from your seat. You were sure somebody had informed her of what happened, but it turned out that she just wanted to rearrange the usual Friday meeting.

Because of the filming tomorrow, the project meeting had to be arranged for next week. Which you were fine with, of course, since you did not want to face all your managers in one place after what had just happened.

Throughout the rest of the day, you started to feel more and more guilty for how you reacted at lunch. As your mind cleared, you realized how rash you were with your decision making and how you only thought about yourself. You also thought about how rude it was to talk about Jisung like that, especially in front of Bang Chan — who cared a lot about the boy.

Logging off your email for the day, the thought of Bang Chan still lingered bitterly in your mind. You wished to apologize for your harsh behaviour, so you started to make your way over to his producing room.

However, you hadn’t even made it on the elevator before you were stopped.

“Hey, uhm — you might not recognize me, but I’m the guy from earlier. Han Jisung.”

He was standing politely behind you, hands folded together behind him.

“Hello, I still remember. You know, from earlier,” you awkwardly breathed out a laugh. You didn’t know what to say or why he was here.

“Hyung told me I could find you here and that I should apologize.” He took his hands out from behind him. “He also said that this might help.”

In his hand was a bottle of mango juice. Your heart warmed at the thought of Bang Chan still caring for you, despite you being such a jerk earlier.

“Anyways,” he continued, “I’m sorry for barging in like that and leaving so suddenly. I should’ve knocked or something before coming in, but Chan-hyung is somebody I’m very close to. I would never jeopardize him in any way.”

Hearing him apologize made you realize how little thinking you had done. Jisung regularly worked with Bang Chan, so of course he would just enter the room without knocking.

“Thanks for your apology, but I should be apologizing. I was the one being reckless. You did nothing wrong, Jisung. I trust that you wouldn’t tell anybody of this.”

“Thanks,” he said as the both of you entered the elevator.

The both of you stood in silence for a bit before he started again.

“So, Chan hyung huh.” He raised his eyebrows. “You know, he’s the best looking one out of all of us… after me of course.”

“Oh my god.” You blushed, head in your hands as he kept elbowing you.

“But, Y/n.” He got all serious again. His serious-playful demeanor was giving you whiplash. “You know what you’re doing is dangerous, right? Not only for him, but also for you. I love our fans, but there are some that have taken it too far before. I just want the two of you to be safe.”

“Thanks Jisung,” you started, “for that and for keeping this secret.”

“Of course, any ‘friend’ of Hyung's is a friend of mine.” He winked, causing you to heat up from embarrassment again.

The elevator reached Jisung’s floor, and he got out.

“Oh, also, I think you should call Chan hyung. He’s been pretty down this whole afternoon, and even my natural charisma couldn’t cheer him up.”

You thanked him for the last time before the elevator doors closed, promising him that you would contact Bang Chan.

And you did — as soon as you were alone in the elevator.

One ring. Two rings. A third.

“Hello?” He sounded out of breath.

“Chan?”

“Yes, Y/n?”

Crap, he sounded annoyed.

“Uhm, can we meet up somewhere? I-I wanted to talk to you.”

There was a slight pause.

“I’m at the gym right now. We could meet at the playground by the river in an hour.”

“Ok.” You hung up after that. It was a weird phone call. From his voice alone, you could obviously tell something was bugging him. You knew you were that something.

Grabbing a quick bite at a nearby convenience store, you started your journey to the playground. It wasn’t too far of a walk, but you decided to go earlier since it was already starting to get dark.

You hoped Bang Chan wasn’t in too much of a bad mood, especially after your conversation with Jisung. Honestly, you weren’t too excited to apologize. Not because you didn’t feel bad, but because of his cold and monotone voice through the phone. You didn’t want to admit it — especially because you had just met this man a few weeks ago — but you were scared of his possible rejection. It terrified you.

Breathing into your hands for warmth, you finally saw the playground up ahead. It was near the river, but covered by trees. You now understood why Bang Chan picked this place.

It was empty, as you assumed no child would want to play tag on a cold and dark evening. You sat on a swing, mindlessly swinging up and down whilst staring at the upcoming moon. The sound of crickets chirping combined with the cool autumn breeze almost brought you to serenity, but the thought of confronting Bang Chan grounded you back to earth.

You turned your head at the sound of panting. Bang Chan had jogged here. The ends of his hair were damp with sweat, stuck to his forehead. You wanted to call him crazy, as the only thing he wore was a sleeveless tank top and a pair of shorts on a cold autumn night.

He made his way to the swings.

“Hey,” he said, hopping on to the swing beside you. He was still out of breath from jogging.

“Hey,” you paused for a few seconds to think of what to say. “I wanted to apologize for earlier. I wasn’t thinking. I know you care about your job as well, and it was selfish of me to walk out on you. I’m also sorry for talking about Jisung like that. I met him this afternoon and he seemed like a good guy. And if there’s anything else I missed, I’m sorry for that too.”

You looked up at Bang Chan with puppy eyes, hoping that he would understand. He looked back at you.

“I accept your apology, Y/n. And look, I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have been so reckless, especially at the office. I knew that anybody could have walked in, and I was careless. We were lucky this time, but next time we might not be.”

“Next time?” Your eyes brightened.

“Y/n,” he got up, “I’m scared. I’m scared that I feel this way about you after only a few weeks. I’m terrified of losing my job, my coworkers, and friends. But Y/n, I just want you. I’m laying all my cards out on the table. This is how I feel, what about you?”

That was a lot to take in. Your grip tightened on the swing.

“Chan, everything you just said, I feel the same way. Everything about this scares me, but I just want you. Only you.”

You got up and wrapped your arms around him. You felt the cold sweat of his arms against your skin, but you didn’t care. You just wanted to be near him.

He wrapped his arms around you in return, digging his nose into your neck. You felt his damp hair against your skin.

“Chan, you’re all sweaty,” you teased, pushing his head away.

“I don’t care.” His words came out muffled against your neck as he dug his nose further.

“I feel like a kid being in a playground.” You scanned the empty playground, reminiscing on your childhood.

“Would a kid do this?”

Bang Chan, with his fingers on your chin, turned his head to kiss you so deep you thought you were going faint. You returned the kiss, hands gripping hard on to the sides of his tank. It seemed like the two of you were in your own little world.

“You should go. Tomorrow’s gonna be a long day,” Bang Chan said after eventually breaking the kiss.

“Mhmm,” you mumbled, trying to stall for time. You knew that the both of you should get going.

Eventually, after quite a while, you left for home. It felt as if a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. A very cute and dimple-y weight.

That evening, you packed all your necessities for the overnight shoot tomorrow, and fell asleep with high hopes for the next day. You were excited to see all your — along with the production team’s — efforts come to fruition.

The next morning, you woke up early and energized. You double checked that everything was ready before heading out to the JYPE building.

Manager Chen had informed you of which van you would be riding in to the set. Although she wasn’t in the vehicle with you, you had the opportunity to chat amongst some other very interesting members in the production crew.

After a few hours of driving, your van — along with the others — arrived. You helped the production crew set up as much as you could, as you were told the boys already started filming their drive to the set. Whilst waiting for the boys to come, you socialized around with both the production crew and Manager Chen.

Soon, after chatting for a bit, you saw the long awaited van pull up to the set. The boys got out, one by one, each holding their own little video cameras.

Bang Chan got out last. He looked amazing, really. With his hair and makeup done and his outfit styled, he was almost like a different person. You’ve never seen him without black on, but this was a surprisingly refreshing look.

It was chaos. With every boy at their peak energy, there was never a boring moment on set. It was clear that everybody — even the quieter ones — had established nice dynamics within the group. You watched them in awe, with Manager Chen telling you the behind happenings every now and then.

You found it so hard to hold in your laughter as the boys attempted to make mooncakes. It reminded you of your childhood; when you used to do the same with your mother.

As Bang Chan read off the script which you helped with, you felt a certain sense of pride in your heart. You smiled at him as he expressed himself to the camera.

It was dinner time for the boys, so that meant dinner for you and the crew as well. You followed the production team to a noodle restaurant. It was a small and cute, grandma-grandpa owned place. The menu, however, was huge.

“Y/n, this is Manager Jung,” Manager Chen said. She directed your gaze to a guy who looked in his late twenties. You instantly recognized him as the manager that drove you home on your first day of work.

“We’ve met before,” he said.

“You have?” Manager Chen was surprised.

“We have, but it’s nice to meet you under better circumstances,” you blushed. You hoped that you didn’t leave too bad of a first impression with him.

“It’s nice to meet you too, I’ve only heard good things about you from Manager Chen,” he said. “Actually, we were just discussing the sleeping arrangements for tonight.”

“Yes, we’ve managed to book a place that has enough rooms for everybody to sleep alone. They’re not the best of rooms, but this was the best we could do with our budget,” Manager Chen said.

“Sounds good to me,” you nodded. You were fully expecting to share a room with five other women.

You had a happy evening, eating and chatting before getting back to work. You watched as the boys carried out every production order to a tee, all the while keeping up their high energy even late into the night.

You helped the production crew with setting up fireworks for their next segment. Even the act of setting up got you excited as you haven’t seen fireworks in so long. Especially in a new country.

The rest of the filming went smooth, with the end slate following the last firework of the evening. You watched as the boys all lined up in a straight line to thank the production and camera crew. Bang Chan’s eyes landed right on yours. You smiled. He smiled back.

The boys were then ushered by Manager Jung into their own hostel, and you followed the crew to your room. The room was lit by a small incandescent light bulb. It was a small room with nothing but a mat for the floor, a small blanket, and a pillow. Though, to be fair, you weren’t expecting much.

You laid out the mat and blanket, washed up, and was about to call it in when you received a text from Bang Chan.

Bang Chan: You looked cute today.

You blushed, not aware that Bang Chan had even seen you during the day. He looked so busy with filming the whole time that you hadn’t even made eye contact. You smiled and returned the text.

Y/n: You too ^^

And with that, you peacefully fell asleep.

You had a tranquil dream; with only clouds, and sunshine, and… Manager Jung?

“Y/n!” he called.

Your dream clone hopped over to him to say hello.

“Y/n!” He called again. He looked worried. “Y/n!”

You suddenly jolted awake.

“Y/n! Hurry, get out!” He was coughing, holding the hem of his shirt up to his face.

You looked at him. His silhouette was clouded by smoke. You looked up.

The light bulb hanging from was burning and emitting a smoke of some kind. You gasped in shock, instantly regretting it as you breathed in a large amount of the smoke.

Manager Jung was already running outside at this point, and you quickly ran after him. Along the way you tried to hold your breath, but with every inhale you took in, a cloud of smoke followed. You coughed and kept running.

It seemed as if you were the last person out, as everybody staying at the hostel had already evacuated. Manager Chen was standing outside, a look of worry on her face.

“Y/n, are you okay?” She ran over to you.

“Yes,” you coughed. You still felt the smoke in your throat. “What happened?”

“The light bulb in your room caught on fire,” Manager Jung intervened. “Manager Chen was still awake when she smelled the smoke, and she evacuated everybody inside. Everybody woke up except you, Y/n.”

“Is everybody else okay?” you asked. You could hear how hoarse your voice sounded.

“Everybody else is alright. For some reason, the fuse shortage was only isolated to your room,” Manager Chen replied.

It was unfortunate that, out of all the rooms, the broken light bulb was in yours. However, you were glad that everybody else was safe. You were also thankful that Manager Jung woke you up in time, leaving you with only a sore throat.

“Hyung!”

You whipped your head to the direction of the voice. Bang Chan was sprinting across the dirt path in your direction. His hair was disheveled and his t-shirt wrinkled. Behind him was Jisung, dashing over so fast that he somehow managed to match Bang Chan’s pace. Jisung threw his hand, catching the back of Bang Chan’s shirt, pulling him back. Jisung then said some incoherent words to Bang Chan, which seemed to have slowed him down. Bang Chan took a couple deep breaths before waiting for his other members and walking over to you and the crew.

“What happened? Is everybody okay?” Bang Chan asked, concerned. He glanced at you before facing Manager Jung again.

“Everybody is fine,” Manager Jung reassured him. “There was a problem with the light bulb in a crew member’s room, but everybody has evacuated now. You and the boys don’t need to worry. Just go back to your rooms as you have a long day tomorrow.”

“Whose room was it?” Bang Chan asked, ignoring everything Manager Jung had just told him.

Manager Jung hesitated before pointing at you. Upon realization, Bang Chan jerked forward, only to be stopped by Jisung again. He gave Bang Chan a look.

“I’m okay,” you coughed out. It was hard to not sound so hoarse when you had just been breathing in smoke for god knows how long.

Bang Chan gave a deadpan look to Manager Jung.

“We have extra rooms where we’re staying, maybe Y/n can stay with us?” he asked.

“That is unnecessary, I will let Y/n use my room and I will stay with you. I’m sure Y/n would be on board,” Manager Jung said. He looked over to you, and you nodded in agreement.

“I guess that would work,” Bang Chan hesitantly said, “but what if this happens again with another room?”

“I’m sure that won’t-”

“Manager Jung!” Manager Chen interrupted, waving her hands whilst running over. “A member of our production crew took a look at the fuse box connected to Y/n’s room, and it seems like somebody tampered with the wires on purpose.”

[japes-the-clown]

THE SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS MOVIE: AN INVERSION ON “COMING OF AGE” FILMS AND A CRITICISM OF ADULTHOOD

Hi hello hey it’s me Jericho Jay “Japes” Marshall out here with a pretentious love letter to the filmmaking on display in nickelodeons The Spongebob Movie. Yes, I know it’s a kids movie. Yes, I know it’s not that deep. But I’m majoring in english, and deeply depressed, so I need to get this OUT and onto a PAGE.

I have watched this film many times over my lifetime, a few when i was just a kid, then in my early teens, even when i turned eighteen, and now, a month before i turn 20. Every time, I grow a new appreciation for the nuances that this movie brings to the table, and on my most recent watch my own deliverance from childhood makes me relate to the core themes the hardest I ever have. The Spongebob Movie isn’t just a movie about childhood, but a movie about adulthood.

Today, I’m going to make clear exactly how The Spongebob Squarepants Movie criticizes our understanding of adulthood and how society treats the neurodivergent, while effectively turning the “Coming of Age” genre on its head, within its 87 minute runtime.

START: CONSISTENT CHARACTERIZATION

One thing a lot of films (ESPECIALLY kids films) fail to nail is consistently showing aspects of a character throughout the runtime, enough that changes to a character feel impactful and justified instead of rushed and stifled. The best examples of movies that fail to do this are often the marvel movies that people tend to not remember- the first two thor movies, the avengers age of ultron, etc. In these movies, characters certainly have traits, but their personalities and motives can be very weak and make dramatic changes feel A LOT less dramatic. This can be seen in age of ultron, when quicksilver gave his own life to save someone else, which felt like nothing because he wasn't well developed. He wasn't particularly endearing, nor did him sacrificing his life contradict a part of his character. It felt very much like the writers trying to say "Look, this character which was once opposing the avengers, is now dying for one. Please cry." No hate to the writers of Age of Ultron, but it proves itself often to be an unmemorable part of the catalogue.

In the Spongebob Movie, the characterization is ON. POINT. After the introduction, with the pirates rushing in to watch spongebob, we get so much information regarding spongebob as a character.

Pictured: Spongebob holding a piece of cheese like an operator

The first scene of the plot is a dream sequence a large crowded scene at the Krusty Krab, with a customer not receiving cheese on his patty, and it being positioned in the same way as a bomb being located. In the dream, everyone is panicked, and Mr. Krabs is visibly distressed, almost like a damsel. Spongebob comes in, announcing his position as manager, much to the relief of Krabs. He goes in, and puts cheese on the burger (again, very akin to a bomb defusal scene), bringing the perturbed customer out safe and sound. Everyone lifts spongebob up as a hero, which is interrupted by his boat alarm.

This scene is JAM PACKED with stuff that both introduces the character to new watchers and introduces the crux of his arc to everyone else. Spongebob of course is very fond of the Krusty Krab, and wants to be the manager- he wants people to see him as cool, and as a responsible adult. He wants to be the sort of person that can be trusted with big responsibilities. And we also see, most importantly, that he is extremely childish through his faximile of what it meant to be adult. Everything is scaled up; it's a very silly situation, which well suits both the joke and his character as an inexperienced kid. This is one of the most direct ways to convey someone's character, because a dream can be interpreted as a direct port into a character's desires. This being the first introduction to the character in the movie sets the tone for EVERY following situation.

In the next few scenes you see Spongebob's real life, which involves his lengthy morning routine; his life is sort of whimsical, and so too is his routine. He showers by shoving a hose into himself till he bursts with water, he uses toothpaste to clean his eyes but not his teeth, and he puts on pants which he must fold to make. Again, all pretty solid jokes, but also very telling about his outlook. He is funny, weird, and childish, which is juxtaposed by the scene where he's- he's uh- showering with squidward. Squidward is an example of the "adult" that spongebob isn't. This has always been the case, but here his normal routine makes it very clear that other people in this world aren't like spongebob. They shower normally, they brush their teeth, they put their clothes on like normal. Spongebob's world is one of wonder and without responsibility, which makes it questionable as to whether he could handle one.

Pictured: Spongebob's room, adorned with childhood imagery

Pictured: Spongebob celebrating his position as a manager, despite Krabs saying that it was squidward who got it

Even his room in this scene screams "kid". He has toys strewn about, glow in the dark stars, and pictures of superheroes on the wall. He even says "Sorry about this calendar" as he rips a page, personifying inanimate objects as a kid would. The movie is telling you, "THIS CHARACTER IS A KID", but in a way that's masked because it's also just a set up for jokes. It's done so well, in my opinion, that it would go over your head because from your perspective you would be laughing along as spongebob did his wacky antics.

On top of that, his excitement for his assured managerial position at the Krusty Krab 2 continues to be bolstered. He marked it off with a cute drawing on his calendar, for those familiar he changes his normal "I'm ready" chant to "I'm ready- promotion-", and he's even already set up a party to celebrate at his favorite chain, Goofy Goobers, a child's entertainment restaurant similar to chucky cheese, albeit replacing pizza for ice cream. He hasn't just gotten excited, but has this childish anticipation for something which isn't even assured.

Spongebob arrives at the opening of the Krusty Krab 2, where he is so excited he can't contain his glee. He breaks the silence and makes members of the crowd uncomfortable, reinforcing again that spongebob is a standout in a world of adults, and a kid who doesn't understand certain social norms, which society looks down upon. When Krabs reveals that Squidward got the managerial position, Spongebob hyped himself so much that he starts celebrating, not even noticing that he wasn't picked. He gets on stage, and begins to give a speech, to which Krabs interrupts.

The next part I think best illustrates Spongebob's clear ignorance to society: Krabs attempts to subtly tell spongebob that he isn't getting the job, but spongebob repeats everything he says into the microphone. Again, fantastic joke, grade A, but the amount this shows how invested spongebob was. He already saw himself as an adult, someone who everyone would look up to as a manager- he could take the responsibility, and isn't aware of everyone likely cringing in the audience. This is the natural step for him in his mind, especially because of his exemplary work which had been previously celebrated through employee of the month awards. This was not an option for him. There wasn't a world in his mind where he would be outclassed by squidward.

Krabs has to break to him that he lacks responsibility, and that his childishness makes it difficult for Krabs to give him such a job. This might seem harsh, but I think the intro again shows how Spongebob saw the job; he didn't understand what it would be like, fantasizing another level in the menial work structure to be an amazing adventure of a job. People in the crowd reaffirm that in the eyes of society, spongebob is just a kid, a goofball. In my eyes, this is a story not just of childhood, but of neurodivergence. Spongebob isn't normal, and is blocked by society for his ignorance of social norms and sunny disposition. He finds things fun that other people can not, and he places values in completely different things. So he is blocked from the meaningful recognition he desired, despite the obvious evidence of his commitment.

I think this is a mighty interesting dichotomy!!! Simultaneously, spongebob's understanding of the world truly is warped, often resulting in a lack of consideration for others as well as harm for himself when things don't go his way, AND he is a good worker which puts in MANY hours of work without so much of a complaint. This is COMPLEX. You have to ask yourself, as a viewer, "would I give spongebob the job?" The answer can be different and can be REASONED.

And that's JUST spongebob! There are other characters with characterization that mixes into the themes of the movie very well, but I'm going to bring up any related points in future sections.

Okay, Okay. So now you're saying "WOW OKAY GREAT so why does any of this matter?" I'm so glad you asked. VERY glad.

2: THE BREAKING OF A YOUNG MAN'S SPIRIT

THIS is the point of the movie. The obstacle in this movie truly isn't adulthood, but instead self doubt. Spongebob's whole world is turned upside down by Krab's rejection of his basic personality. Spongebob asks himself: is it REALLY okay to be who I am? Am I an adult? Is the world fair? One of the most shocking scenes in the movie is blended so well in tone with the rest that you don't really notice; spongebob eating ice cream to cope with his disappointment, akin to that of adults drinking alcohol, and appearing to be visually "drunk" and washed up. This is BRILLIANT, and a recurring theme, where the true line between adult and childhood becomes blurry and impossible to see. Spongebob, the representation of a kid, gets hungover, spiteful, and angry about the injustice of his situation. This is often how adults act in the fact of adversity, but what's funny is that this too is how a kid would act; getting angry and overindulging, feeling entitled and acting socially immature when he didn't get what he wanted. He walks in to the Krusty Krab literally just to shit talk Krabs. And it doesn't stop there.

Pictured: Plankton finding "Plan Z" and looking at it like a centerfold in a playboy magazine

Almost every character in this movie juxtaposes another, again smearing the line of what it means to be an adult. For example, Spongebob and Plankton are polar opposites; plankton is cold and vengeful, angry at the world around him, and spongebob is a happy person who tends not to take things personally, a friend to all. In planktons first appearances in the movie, he is portrayed with clear adult themes, mocking spongebob, making pinup jokes about plan z, and living in a fairly dark and grey space. But, as the story moves along, we see many similarities; both spongebob and plankton are fairly one track minded, and when spongebob's perception is broken he himself gets a little vengeful. When eugene is put in danger over this, though, we do see that he places the lives of others over his own wants. And, even at the end of the movie, we see their similarities. Plankton reuses the "Sorry Calendar" joke that spongebob used at the start of the movie, drawing another line of what it means to be an adult. Is it childish of plankton to say that? Is the inherent irony he has impactful here? His want for something that isn't his, and his disregard for others in pursuing it feels just like how a younger child may steal the toy of another, without understanding what it means to share.

Pictured: Neptune flipping his shit at his lost crown

Then, there's the character of Neptune. Neptune is a big man baby. He rules the entire land, commands the most respect, and is considered the most powerful person under the sea, and yet, we see that he gets overprotective of his property, prepared to execute anyone who even annoys him. Throughout the film, he's obsessed with chasing an image of youth, as he is bald, and ignores the suffering of the people on bikini bottom to make sure no one sees his bald head. He throws what's equivalent to a tantrum when he finds his crown is missing, and believes a very crude note written by plankton saying that it was eugene who stole it. His character is an "acceptable" child because he's in a position of power, where spongebob is an "unacceptable" child as he is just a working class member of society. And the funniest part is, that he mocks spongebob for wanting to go for the crown, when even he, the strongest person in bikini bottom, refuses to go out of fear.

We see that these "bastions" of adulthood, plankton and neptune, are the ones who are responsible for missteps of society; we're ALL children in the long run, but the strict enforcement of a perceived true adulthood creates a space where they can act immaturely yet those under them/around them cannot. Dennis makes this case even more, as the only thing he does in this movie is hurt others. There's only one thing that seems to truly denote adulthood, and it's cruelty.

Even squidward, the adult that is supposed to be more responsible that spongebob, refuses to go on the quest to retrieve the crown, as he acts mostly in self interest, even later claiming to only care that plankton was stealing the secret formula as it was hurting his own paycheck.

Spongebob is the only one willing to go, willing to defend the man who wronged him, willing to value life over his own interests. He is both child and adult, just as the adults are too children.

As he moves through the plot of this film, he becomes less confident in his disposition, with his naivete causing moments like him and patrick crossing the state line and immediately getting carjacked, or them being put into an uncomfortable situation by all the bubbles they blew when they tried to get their car back. His bright personality is questioned constantly: Only five days to shell city? BY CAR. This is man's country. But weren't we the double bubble blowing babies?

Pictured: Spongebob caught trying to take back the key to the patty wagon when patrick fails to distract everyone

This is made more obvious to him as patrick remains oblivious throughout; patrick is a mirror for him, that acts as a childhood constant, that makes it clearer for him every day the draws of his childishness. There's the moment in the club where patrick's distraction was poorly thought out, and only because he said he wanted to do it adamantly, there's the moment where patrick challenged neptune on how many days they would have to do it, which served no purpose but for his own fun, there's the moment patrick points out the free ice cream trap- he is the unemployed uncritical lens that spongebob is afraid he is.

So everything's fucked, and anyone who is childish is bad i guess!!!

But that isn't so,

3: The illusion of manhood

So we've talked about spongebob's characterization as a naive child, how this is impactful in his transformation into someone who is anxious about that aspect of his personality, and how the society around him is hypocritical in it's own immaturity. But where does this all come together?

Pictured: Planktons dystopian world, which Mindy shows Spongebob and Patrick

It's at spongebob and patricks "conversion to manhood". At his lowest point, spongebob becomes a squidward- he becomes critical of his AND patricks interests, and regards them as childish, deciding that this means that they can't make it to shell city, as it requires them to be adults. When mindy shows them the dire situation back home, she hopes that spongebob's sunny personality and care for others would shine through, but instead he turns to what society has been telling him; it's impossible. He can't do it, he's just a little kid, and there is no point to any of this as he'll fail regardless.

Thinking about it like this, it truly is one of the darkest points in the entire series; spongebob just openly admitted that there was nothing he could do, that all of his friends were goners because he was effectively useless.

Mindy comes up with an idea; she'll trick spongebob and patrick into believing they're men; she convinces them of mermaid magic (their innocence allowing them to believe) and uses kelp to make them think they've matured into adults. Notice that physical modifiers being the only key to this "fake adulthood". With this, they jump off a cliff because they believe that with adulthood, they are invincible.

This is really telling about how the society they're in thinks of being an adult, and relays that to children. There's another level, a distinct separation between spongebob and adulthood, which seemed like the difference between a squire and a knight- being an adult means that you aren't weak anymore (as though he was weak in the first place), and thus you can do things you never thought before. Is it truly healthy that this is how a society tells kids that adulthood is like, for them to enter the world and feel a truly awful financial and literal hellscape waiting for them? uh, you can, you can decide that for yourself i think.

Nonetheless, they survive the fall, and conclude that they really are invincible, able to power through a ravine with their happy go lucky attitude, eventually befriending the monsters which were once trying to kill them. They weren't acting like adults, but the labels themselves made it possible for them to soldier on with the childlike disposition they had. I find that to be powerful. If we were able to be more hopeful as adults, and power through the worst things brightly, could we do great things? Idk but these depression meds sure do taste good nom nom

After crossing the ravine, spongebob and patrick meet dennis, and have their worldview crushed as it's revealed that they are actually still kids. Dennis being the "alpha male" that he is, is characterized by violence and a lack of morality. The pair are saved by a giant boot, which is the first of two humans in this movie. Spongebob and patrick are both taken by the man in the diver suit, as we fade to black, marking the end of their illusion of adulthood.

4: Back from the Edge (of death)

Spongebob and Patrick awaken in an antique shop, realizing that they were surrounded by fish that had been killed specifically for sale as tacky antiques. They are lifted out of their fishbowl, and put under a heatlamp, as their fate is sealed to become a member among those dead fish. In spongebob's final moments, he mourns his inability to be an adult, as well as to reach shell city; but before they both die, patrick points out that they truly did reach shell city, as the crown was within their reach.

This. This is a phenomenal scene. Why? Because of what it means for spongebob's arc.

Pictured: Spongebob and Patrick on their deathbeds, finding happiness

He sees the crown, and realizes that, unequivocally, that even if he didn't bring the crown back, he made it to shell city. Every person he met told him that he couldn't even do that. and he did it. He is a kid, yes, but he's a kid who went where not even NEPTUNE dared go. Everything people said about him, about how him being a kid stopped him from success, was suddenly shattered. He has been asking himself if it's okay that he is a kid, and he saw, unambiguously, that it is. He is allowed to be happy. He can enjoy things that other people don't. He can be naive. He can be himself, no matter what anyone says. And so can you. Great things can be done by people who are "childish", who are "naive", who are kind without expecting a return, all of it. YOU are okay. Your stims are okay, your comfort series are okay, your interest in tropes are okay, YOU'RE OKAY!!!!

with that, spongebob and patrick are dehydrated on the table, and ostensibly die, the kids that they are, shedding one final tear each, forming a heart beneath them.

...

Miraculously, the tear electrocutes that lamp at it's socket, causing smoke to rise and set off the sprinklers, rehydrating the pair, and bringing them back to life. The "Man in the Suit" attempts to capture them, seeing them about to lift Neptune's crown, but the rest of the dehydrated fish come back to life- squirting him with his own glue and beating him to the ground, as spongebob and patrick run out with the crown. David Hasselhoff offers them a ride back to Bikini Bottom, and the pair begin their ride back.

5: The confrontation of Adulthood and Childhood

Pictured: Dennis looking all lame and shit

As spongebob and patrick are being swam back to bikini bottom, the boot under which dennis was crushed rockets to Hasselhoff, spitting him back out to finish the job. The appearance of Dennis, IN MY OPINION, makes him look rather goofy, with his broken glasses making him look more like a office worker than a badass assassin as he attempts to kill spongebob and patrick. Spongebob, in trying to reason with him, is able to ruin his eyes with bubbles, and then survives as dennis gets hit by a raised platform which spongebob and patrick are too low to be hit by.

Having defeated one representation of adulthood, spongebob and patrick are shot down by HasselHoffs MASSIVE MAN TITS with the crown in order to prevent Krab's fate, blocking Neptune's lazer just in time as they crash in.

All seems to be well, but plankton uses one of his mind control helmets (which we'll be getting into later) to enslave even Neptune, putting mindy, spongebob, patrick, and Krabs against the wall.

In another stark moment of characterization, Spongebob tells patrick that "Plankton Cheated", which prompts plankton to tell spongebob that the situation wasn't a kiddy game, and that it was the real world. This sort of distinctions in their ethos tell you how spongebob interacts with justice; he believes in "playing fair", while plankton is bitter and believes in getting what he wants.

Finally, the apex to our plot, is a musical number. Spongebob begins to make a long-winded speech, where he takes ownership of every label he was called as he stood on the stage at the beginning, the similarity between the two events being clear (holding a microphone at an inappropriate time, making a speech as he blocks out input from an adult trying to talk him down). Spongebob then busts out into the film's rendition of Twisted Sister's "I Wanna Rock", "I'm a Goofy Goober". This results in spongebob reversing plankton's whole plot with "the power of rock and roll". Plankton is made powerless, and thrown into a little padded cell.

The final scene in the movie has Mr. Krabs freed from his imprisonment in ice, and spongebob is offered squidwards position as manager of the second Krusty Krab. He seems hesitant, and squidward offers an insightful analysis of what spongebob might be feeling (the typical analysis of a coming of age movie, where the protagonist finds out that what they wanted all along is not what they wanted, but it was what was inside all along). Spongebob refutes that squidwards fly was just down, and GLADLY accepts the job.

AND THAT'S THE MOVIE

6: AN INVERSION ON THE COMING OF AGE GENRE

A coming of age story tends to be one which is focus on the growth of a character from childhood to adulthood, asking questions about what it means to be an adult. A character reaches for their perceived adulthood, and realizes what it means to ACTUALLY be an adult, typically juxtaposing what people think (drugs, parties, sex) versus what the movie postures as the correct adulthood (responsibility). In this, I think that the spongebob movie directly criticizes the position of what "an adult" is, in the sense of how someone acts.

Like we discussed in part 2, every adult character in this movie tends to be very childish in themselves, unable to see through simple ruses, and often very possessive of personal property. I don't think we actually see a child in this movie as a speaker at any point, only really as background characters (in goofy goobers to solidify spongebob as childish, and I believe in the chum bucket as they're lead to an unsafe place by their parents, who are supposed to be responsible). Thus, what is mostly examined is how adulthood and childhood is a very thin line. Squidward, for example, going directly to plankton to accuse him of stealing the formula, instead of taking it to the top immediately, which would have ended this whole thing fairly quickly; that was rather silly, and was the fruit of his need to assert himself as an adult.

Spongebob goes through this movie FIRST not caring much about whether or not he was an adult, and it is only after the social pressure from adults does he start to chase it. He then chases his perceived image of an adult, going on an adventure, and is crushed by the fact that he isn't an adult. Instead of finding what an adult is, he instead becomes comfortable with his existence as a child, finding himself at the end of the movie able to comfortably chase after an ideal again, where in a normal movie he would humbly reject the job he was offered.

This is, truly, what we should all take from this film. Spongebob realizes that people who aren't necessarily socially adjusted or acceptable can do great things, regardless of what the people around them say, especially because the people around them are liable to throw tantrums and be actively harmful to society. He is allowed to find comfort in childish things, and to be naive, because the world needs more people willing to help others. It's a scathing criticism on the imposed adulthood that exists in a lot of coming of age films, which begs us to drop fun in the interest of doing the right thing, as though those two ideas are contradictory.

BONUS: EXTRA STUFF THAT I LIKED

The goofy goober song became really good storytelling, at first marking childishness, then marking a level of discomfort and judgement in the club, then marking spongebob recognizing that his happiness came from what he liked and not some vague idea of adulthood, and finally marking his full acceptance of his childishness, taking the form of rock, the music of rebellion. It's not as subtle as leitmotifs, but it works really well in how the same song can give very different feelings throughout, and inform how we interact with a story.

There are a lot more examples of adults being pressured into childishness, with the connected twins who liked goofy goober at the club, who were beaten senseless for absolutely no reason, which highlights the way that the society hurts people that, by all means, are just as much adults as anyone else. There's of course Plankton's helmets which created a society of people who simply slaved away with nothing to say, taking life as it came and listening to authority.

On top of that, this movie is PRETTY ANTICAPITALIST AND ANTIMONARCHY, despite those things being allowed to continue to exist at the end- monarchy is seen misusing power constantly and often for unfounded reasons, and Spongebob's diligence at work is rejected by a penny pinching Krabs, who cares only about money. Like, THE KRUSTY KRABS ARE RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER? THAT IS SOME MONTY PYTHON ASS SHIT. This year is the first year i laughed at that joke, because it's really some "capitalists are fucking dumb as shit" humor that slipped over my head when i was a kid. The villain literally being defeated by Rock and Roll, which was sung with a message against the oppression of differences in people? Yeah, I think the spongebob movie hated rich mother fuckers.

END: UH YEAH THAT'S WHAT IT IS

So yeah. The movie is good I think. There's a lot more i could go into, but I've been writing this post for hours and at this point i haven't even read it so...

I recommend going back and giving this film a rewatch!!! Pay attention to all the moments where adults act like children/kids act like adults, because it'll make ur brain pop like a zit. Anyways that's me, I'm Jericho Jay "Japes" Marshall, and I HATE facism.

[mrs-dynamight]

Be Nice To Me 5

Part 4.

*************************************************

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x fem!Reader, Denki Kaminari x fem!Reader

Warnings: Eventual mature content, angst, hurt/comfort, love triangle, the reader is lowkey toxic, everything will be adressed in every episode (:

Chapter warning: Swearing, steamy make out session (borderline porn but not really), mentions of other couples form 1A

Chapter: 5/?

Synopsis: You're in love with your best friend Bakugou, and you're cofessing to him but things get a lot more complicated when Denki starts to treat you different *wink wink*

Word count: 3.9k

Author's note: This is sooo long, but I loved writing it, I deeply suggest you listen to the song of the title (here). I'm honestly living my coming-of-age indie kid fantasy with this chapter, as always any suggestion is welcomed.

Chapter 5 First Day of my Life- Bright Eyes

Thank to every single Deity that my weekend was packed with internship work so I didn’t have a minute to think about the emotions bubbling up in my heart and my mind, I came to my room exhausted and directly to sleep.

I didn’t talk to any of my friends that weekend, I had a couple of texts from the groupchats, in one of them there were unresolved questions about my date with Katsuki, and on the other one were the flashes for the Fridays gig and good luck wishes to Bakugo who was going to leave the morning after the show, so they planned a goodbye party in the dorms after the gig, Aizawa surprisingly agreed but under any circumstances we were allowed to having alcohol or any other illicit activity inside the UA facilities, not like that could’ve stopped my favourite trio of dumbasses, Mina, Denki and Sero were already planning on smuggle some liquor to the dorms, that was going to be one epic night.

Monday morning finally came, and as much I would love to just spend the day in my bed sleeping and watching Tiktok I needed education, my muscles were sore of the whole weekend roaming the city with Mirko, who seemed unable to getting tired, but I stilled reunited the forces to get dressed, brush my teeth and tried to look like a decent human being, emphasis in the tried part.

As I climbed down the stairs to the common room for a bite of whatever was in the fridge, I saw a beautiful ash blonde guy drinking his usual morning juice with protein powder.

-Morning Draw, you look like shit-

-Well you look handsome as ever ‘Tsuki, thanks for the kind words of the day, you know how to make a woman start the week in the best way possible- I replied while heading to the kitchen

-But seriously what is that Bunny forcing you to do on weekends? Crack? -

I didn’t reply but instead I just blowed him a kiss and start munching on a toast with excessive amount of jam, Tsuyu and Ochako were eating cereal next to Deku, the three of them saw my whole interaction with Katsuki with those weird eyes that just screamed “marry him already”, I told them I had to talk to them, and they all agreed that lunch time with Tenya and Shoto were the gossip time of choice, I waited for the girls to finish eating and we headed class.

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-YOU TWO FINALLY KISSED?!?- Ochako screamed with excitement

-Is he a good kisser? - Asked Deku pulling out his notebook in the “Kachaan” section

-How’s that relevant to the hero notebook? – I asked Deku

-Wait, isn’t he going to another country on Saturday? –

-Well yes Tenya, that’s the other thing I wanted to talk you guys about-

Then I started to explain the whole predicament of waiting for him and his words about that.

-Wow did he really said that having a girlfriend would be a distraction? - said Tsuyu with a concerned look on her face

I didn’t really thought about that harsh phrase, but it was Bakugo, right? He always says things that hurt other people’s feelings, that’s just him

-He sounded honest, but he shouldn’t have hurt your feelings like that-

-It didn’t hurt my feelings, Shoto, I’m used to him saying things like that all the time-

-That can’t be good Y/N, you can’t just get used to people hurting you, especially if you want to have a relationship, and a long-distance one, where things usually get a little tougher- Said Ochako

-I would consider wait for him to return Y/N, so that way you can both be clear about what you expect for each other- Deku said hiding his face in the Katsudon plate in front of him

I wanted to talk to them about what happened with Denki, but I was afraid they just said that I was overthinking, we’ve always been very close friends; but so were they, why was I so reluctant to talk about me and Denki? Maybe saying it out loud could somehow make it more real.

We finished our lunch and headed to class, the rest of the day went pretty neutral, as well as the rest of the week, but the thought of Bakugo leaving haunted me, he didn’t said or did anything special, we didn’t talked about our kiss or our lovely words, it was like it didn’t happen at all, we came back to being just friends. Denki was purposely avoiding me, I could notice it, anytime I wanted to talk to him he just made up some excuse and leave quickly, the rest of the Bakusquad was busy with the whole party preparations and the Dekusquad was as lovely as always, they told me a million times in that week that they will be there for me no matter what I choose to do; as for me, I was just as confused as Monday morning.

I didn’t wanna go to the party, or the gig, I just wanted to go to my room, listen to sad music, and feel pity for myself until I ceased to exist, but it was definitely off limits, I promised Denki I would go with him to the soundcheck, there was only this last one class, but I wasn’t really in the mood for maths, so I decided the best for me was head back to the dorms and stop thinking so much about everything, missing a class wouldn’t kill me.

When my life crumbles down there is only one thing in the whole world that could make me feel better, and that is loud music, so there I was, headphones to the max, airplane mode on, eyes closed and mouthing every word like a prayer, I felt like every lyric was washing away my worries and doubts, reassuring me that everything was (not) okay, I was so concentrated in my music I didn’t heard the knocking on my door, and didn’t heard a certain blonde calling my name, it was until I felt a big hand in my shoulder that I realized that Bakugo wasn’t in class either, but in my dorm room, with a worried face.

-Fucking dumbass, why aren’t you in class? You’re going to fail math, again-

-I wasn’t feeling like going to class- I said with a bit of guilt, it probably sounded like a lame ass excuse, but at least it was the truth

-Not feeling like going to class? What the fuck do you think this is, a game? Math is your worst subject and if you fail I won’t be here to tutoring you, you can’t fail-

He was worried, I could tell, he just turned every emotion in pure acidic rage, not like knowing this would make his words hurt less, I didn’t want to admit that the thought of being far from him made my heart ache and my eyes water, and it didn’t help the lack of contact of the week, I was looking forward to another one of his tender kisses, or any sign that what happened last Friday was real

-I’m hurt Katsuki, a week ago it seemed like you wanted to be with me, despite everything and this past days you were acting like nothing happened, I don’t know what to think or what to do, I don’t know what's going on with you, how are you feeling, you don’t say anything, you don’t do anything, you just hide your feelings away in your cocoon of rage-

-See, that is exactly why I didn’t want to kiss you in the first place, I knew it would only lead to problems, that’s the reason I didn’t want to tell you I liked you before going away, I knew you would react like this, I told you the truth, I can’t be your Boyfriend, I’m sorry if that hurts your feelings-

And surprisingly I found myself inside his big arms in a tight hug, his face hiding in the crook of my neck, I put my arms around his slim waist and we just stayed there for a solid ten minutes before breaking the contact.

-I don’t want this to hurt you Y/N, I can’t be with you right now, I can’t give you what you need, and as I told you the other night, I don’t want you wasting your time waiting for me-

-I don’t wanna let you go ‘Tsuki- I said with tears in my eyes

-You won’t, think it like this, if this is meant to be, and I know it is, when we see each other again, in a better place, in a better time, it will happen. I don’t know where or when, but I promise you we will be together, but please don’t throw your life away waiting for me-

- That sounded as if we were breaking up-

-We aren’t, this is only the beginning, I promise-

I was being selfish, it was obvious that this was also hurting him, he was being mature and caring, thinking about what was good for the both of us, before the things we wanted, maybe he was right, this was meant to be, just not right now, right person wrong time troupe right, but with a happy ending, right?

That was one of the most bittersweets moments in my life, I was happy to know that Bakugo thought about us as endgame, just like I did, we were still young, we had plenty of time, all the time in the world, I shouldn’t have worried about his feelings, he told me I should never doubt that he liked me, and I was willing to make that compromise.

-Let’s have a good time tonight, ‘Tsuki, for what I know, tomorrow you could be kissing some European woman and forgetting our promise-

-You get jealous that easy, Draw? Already afraid you’d lose me, huh? - He said with a smirk on his face and getting closer to me

I swallowed with nervousness, but I didn’t break the visual contact

-Aren’t you afraid I fall for another guy in the meanwhile? -

-You’ll have to find someone better than me first, and we both know there isn’t such thing, and besides that, you’re not mine, I don’t owe you, I only own the feelings you have for me, and as long as those exist I’ll do everything to be with you. So, that’s a no, I don’t care about any other guy- He said with his lips softly brushing against mines -But right now, I want to be the only thing in your mind- And saying those words he kissed me.

He wasn’t being gentle like the last time we kissed, there was a hunger, a neediness within his kiss, he wasn’t being rough tho, but I could feel the burning intensity in his movements. He pulled apart and looked into my eyes for any sign of discomfort, but when he met my half lidded gaze filled with love, he slammed his lips against mines one more time, his tongue brushed my lips asking for consent to enter my mouth, to which I responded opening it just enough for him to start moving it, massaging it with my own with a rhythmic pace, his hands travelled down to my hips, it seemed like he wasn’t nervous at all, but I on the contrary was almost shaking, we broke the heated kiss with flushy cheeks and sweaty hands, I looked into his eyes and I could see the lust behind his crimson irises. A million questions started bubbling in my mind, does this means he want to have sex with me? Right here and now? He must have noticed the concerned look in my face because his next words were

-Hey, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, sorry if it was too much-

-It wasn’t, it’s just I’ve never, I mean I haven’t… have you? – I asked with an obvious blush on my cheeks

-Just once, it wasn’t bad, but I figured out it could have been better if it was with someone I loved, like you. We don’t have to do anything tho, I just wanted to kiss you-

A strange relief passed my body, he didn’t want me to give myself to him in this exact moment, and I was glad for it, as much as I loved him I felt like this wasn’t the right moment for it, but I still wanted to do other things with him, I mean, this was his last day in the UA, and my first time making out with somebody, we still had a few of hours before the soundcheck. I lead him to my bed and pushed him into it so he could be sitting.

-Y/N are you sure you want to do this? – He wanted to be sure that there was no pressure in doing anything I didn’t want to

-We don’t have to go all the way in, I just want to make sure you feel loved and have fun on your last day, and besides, we already missed math class- And just as this last words escaped my lips I sat in his lap and started kissing his cheekbones softly, his hands went from his sides to my hips as he started to plant open mouth kisses in my neck, sending a shiver down my spine.

-And what about you? You want to feel loved too? – He said against my ear, nibbing at the lobe, I nodded softly, closing my eyes and giving myself in to the feeling of his strong hands in my body, his raspy voice in my ear and the feeling of his lust between my legs.

Our heated make out session made me forgot everything I had in my mind, I was only focused in Bakugo, I couldn’t even began to explain how loved he was making me feel in that moment.

-I have to go packing, but I really like your lips, see my problem here? – He said with a sigh, after a while -I’m actually not in the mood for a party tonight, I would rather having a good night of sleep-

-You’re so boring ‘Tsuki, you sound like an old man with two divorces who is starting to get bald-

-‘Tch, would you rather seeing me drunk and staying up late and doing dumb shit I’ll regret about when I sober up like the rest of those losers? –

-Yes! Only this one time, before you have to go away, let’s get drunk and watch the sunrise, then I could go on with my life in peace-

- Ugh and being hungover in a 7-hour fly? Really, that is your idea of a last night with me? –

I tried to make the best puppy eyes I could as I just said “pretty please” in the most dramatic way possible.

-UGH fine, but don’t you forget that you owe me something for being a fucking loser in Mario Kart-

-Anything for you ‘Tsuki- I said while planting a kiss on his cheek

With a smirk on his face he told me he would tell me what he wanted right before leaving, and I was okay with that, we said goodbye with one last kiss and he went to his dorm room to finish packing. Then I remembered I had my phone on Airplane mode, as I deactivated it I saw a bunch of unread messages, most of them were from my concerned friends asking if I were okay, I answered in the dekusquad groupchat that everything was fine, and immediately they began asking questions about Bakugo and me being both missing math class, I replied a single smiling emoji and they knew we were together. Denki messaged me about ten minutes ago “Hey Y/N I can’t wait for you to come to the soundcheck with me” followed by a cursed image of someone T-posing on top of a drumset, I couldn’t help but laugh, and I replied with an even more cursed image.

-------------------------------------------------------

I was in Denkis car, Katy Perry blasting through the speakers and Denki and I having a carpool karaoke singing Last Friday Night like our life depended on it, it felt like he hasn’t being avoiding me all week, there we were laughing and having a good time. The soundcheck was actually really funny, Jirou who is usually very quiet was obviously the leader, giving orders here and there, I wasn’t completely alone while the band was getting ready to perform, Momo was an official member of the band but she didn’t continue playing with them, but she never missed one of Jirous’ performances, they were obviously very much in love, I couldn’t help to notice the way she looked at Jirou the whole time, and I wondered if that was the same way I looked at Bakugo, I remembered the words that Tsuyu said to me, does everyone knew I was in love with Denki?...

Shit, my mind pictured Denki when my train of though was about Bakugo; it probably were because I was watching Denki plugging his guitar and waving at me at that exact same moment, or did I really thought of Denki when I was thinking about love? A feel of guilt started to build in my heart, just a few hours ago I was making out with Bakugo, and now I was watching Denki going different directions with cables and amplifiers and I couldn’t help but feel like I was in love with him. Momo probably noticed my worried expression because she asked me if everything was right, I just had to lie and tell her that I was okay when in reality I was panicking, I excused myself and went to the bathroom to splash some cold water in my face like the actresses do in every movie to calm themselves down, and apparently it worked, so with more confidence I walked out of the bathroom. When I came back to the table Momo and I were sharing I noticed that people were starting to arrive, I sat next to Momo again and tried to have a casual conversation about school, training, internships and just normal student stuff when I felt a well-known pair of hands covering my eyes.

-Hi Denki- I said as I chucked

-How did you knew it was me? – He genuinely asked

-How couldn’t I? -

-Hey Kaminari, we’re starting in ten- Said Jirou planting a kiss in her girlfriends’ lips

Bakugo arrived just in that exact same moment, I almost forgot he was also going to perform, I didn’t know how to act with other people around us, I wanted to kiss him, but I also didn’t want Denki to see it, I couldn’t help but feel like an awful person for my last thought.

-Hey Draw, long time no see you- Said Bakugo like his tongue wasn’t on my throat a few hours ago

I flipped him off with a smile and blowed him a kiss and continued talking with Denki about who would win in a fight between a bear and a shark, we were currently discussing how long the bear could hold his breath, I turned my head to look at Bakugo and he was already staring at us with the saddest expression I’ve ever seen, and as he noticed my eyes on him he changed it to his usual annoyed one

-You two are the dumbest persons I know- He said, giving us one of his angry looks

-Guys, we’re up- Said Tokoyami grabbing his guitar pick and heading to the stage

-Break a leg guys! - Said Momo giving Jirou one last good luck kiss

Bakugo winked an eye to me and went to the stage without saying anything, my eyes followed his figure to the stage when a sudden voice in my ear made me jump a little bit

-Keep your eyes on me- Whispered Denki in my ear before planting a kiss on my cheek

They started the show, the powerful voice of Jirou quickly caught everyone’s attention, they gotten better over the years, you could tell they were in their prime, usually my eyes were always fixed in the blonde drummer, but tonight they were mesmerized with Denkis fingers skilfully playing with his guitar chords, pearls of sweat in his forehead, a big smile on his face, and golden eyes all over me, he looked perfect.

Suddenly I began to notice everything the boy did, every time his voice intertwined with Jirous’ for a perfect harmony, every movement looked so natural and… sexy? I didn’t noticed I was holding my breath until I heard Shotos’ voice next to me, trying to be heard over the noise coming from stage

-Sorry we’re late, Tenya got lost-

I heard it, but my mind was somewhere else, it was in Denkis’ Kaminari palm. It was almost an hour of absolute bliss, without a single thought crossing my mind just the image of the boy in front of me. I heard the last song of their setlist and prepared for the usual announcement of the end of the show but instead they all waved and came down from stage, all except one, Denkis’ voice was a little shaky when he spoke on the microphone:

-Hi everybody! Thank you so much for coming today, hope you’re doing alright, now we don’t usually do this, but you’ll see, tonight is a very special night, the last one for a while because we’re going to be drummerless tomorrow morning, sooo anyways, I would like to sing a very special song for a very special someone who is here with us tonight, she’s just everything to me, Y/N this is for you-

I felt like I was on fire, the rush of blood went straight to my cheeks, I was suddenly shaking with nervousness, my palms were sweating and I swore everyone could hear my heartbeat, I didn’t wanted to look away from Denki, but I could feel my friends eyes on me. Was this actually happening? The first chords of Denkis’ acoustic guitar confirmed that it wasn’t a dream, his soft voice drowned every other sound, suddenly everything else went dark, it was only the two of us. I paid attention to the words he was saying, he was pouring his heart out, in front of everyone, for me

"Yours was the first face that I saw

I think I was blind before I met you"

This was a love song; Denki was telling me he loved me with every syllable coming out of his mouth and every note from his guitar

"And so I thought I'd let you know

Yeah, these things take forever, I especially am slow

But I realized that I need you

And I wondered if I could come home"

It was perfect, I couldn’t help but tearing up, nobody has ever done something remotely as romantic as this, he sounded so sincere, so drunk with affection, he was obviously nervous, but his eyes were fixed on me

"I'm glad I didn't die before I met you

But now I don't care, I could go anywhere with you

And I'd probably be happy

So if you wanna be with me

With these things there's no telling

We just have to wait and see

But I'd rather be working for a paycheck

Than waiting to win the lottery.

Besides, maybe this time is different

I mean, I really think you like me."

The last strumming of his guitar vanished in the air, and suddenly everything went back to normal, the people around us, the noises, the shocked faces in my friends faces, and the absence of Bakugo.

************************************************

Wowowow this was an emotional rollercoster, but what can I say I love drama, thanks to @warrior-princess1 for proof-reading this

Taglist: @mikasalt

[1a-imagines]

Bunny band-aid.

Characters: Izuku Midoriya

Overview: You cant seem to catch a break lately and to top it all off you end up getting hurt! Luckily a cute hero is here to help patch you up!

A/n: Me and my friend were talking about dekus red bags that he keeps attached to his hips. She asked what i thought he keeps in them and i said probably first aid stuff and that spiralled into a long conversation about how cute it would be if he had little cartoon/bunny band-aids that he would give to people.

And well- how could I pass that up?

"Why does this always happen to me?" You whined as you hopped around your small apartment, simultaneously pulling up your skirt as you tried to slather your toast with butter.

This morning you had received an angry call from your boss, yelling at you to get in as soon as you could. They were slammed and ,sure, you could imagine that must be stressful for any boss but it feels like your boss in particular was a ticking time bomb.

It was best not to get on his bad side, and so you didn't argue with him about the fact it was suppost to be your one day off.

You also had to ignore all the angry texts from your family for having to cancel on dinner with them yet again. How many times did that make it now? 6? You felt like the worst person ever for letting them down so many times, but your work just kept getting in the way!

You keep telling yourself you'll make it up to them, but you never have the time.

You could feel yourself slowly breaking down but you put on your brave face knowing that you'd only be in more trouble if you showed up at work crying.

You quickly finished your toast and downed your coffee before grabbing your bag and rushing out the door. You ran down the stairs until you reached the street, almost tumbling over a few times.

Your job wasn't too far- if you were quick you could make it in 10 minutes and maybe your boss wouldn't fire you?

So you ran.

You ran all the way down the street, narrowly avoiding other pedestrians and jumping over a few stray cats. You felt like you were running so fast that stopping seemed impossible. Your legs were going faster than you could keep up with. This is the sheer amount power and fear your boss held over you.

What a jerk.

Just as you were running past the park you felt one of your feet get caught on a loose pavement slab. Your eyes went wide as a gasp escaped your lips. Your whole body flew forward and you watched helplessly as the ground beneath you got closer.

You held out your hands and closed your eyes, bracing for the impact. You grunted in pain when your body inevitably hit the hard concrete. You had fallen so hard that your body had even bounced off the ground and skidded to a harsh stop.

That was it.

That was the breaking point. You didn't even have the energy to push yourself up. You lay there, your knees and hands stinging as you let the tears run down your cheeks.

Why was the world so against you lately? Have you done something wrong? Did you really deserve this harsh fate?

Personally, you liked to think you always tried your best. That you gave everything you all and you always went out of your way to help people. Overall, you were a pretty good person.

So why has fate decided to punish you lately?

You forced yourself to push your body up onto your backside and that's when you noticed the contents of your bag had also spilled out onto the ground.

Great…

You sniffled and rubbed your stinging cheek to rid yourself of the tears "Why can't I catch a break…" you muttered solemnly.

Once you had finished your pity party you figured it would be best to push yourself up, but before you could move, the sound of fast paced steps coming in your direction caught your attention.

You saw a boy in a green costume running up to you. When he finally reached you he knelt down, his big eyes filled with worry. He was panting a bit too, showing he must have ran over to you pretty fast.

"Are you ok!? I'm so sorry I couldn't catch you! I saw you fall from across the park and ran as fast as I could." He apologized so sincerely it sounded as if he completely blamed himself for your fall. You were about to say that it was ok but he gasped, successfully cuttinf you off.

"You're bleeding!!" You followed his gaze to your hands and knees.

He was right, You most certainly were bleeding. However, that much was to be expected after such a harsh fall like that. It wasn't a whole lot though, Most of them were just scrapes, but they still stung.

"Hold still! I have some first aid on me. I'll clean and bandage it up for you!" He said, reaching into the red bags strapped to his hips and pulling out a bottle, a cloth, and some bandages.

"You're a hero?" You tilted your head. The costume, plus carrying first aid, made you guess he was. Although you had never seen him before, was he new? You were a pretty big hero fan and you had a feeling you would've remembered someone like him. He smiled softly as he poured the gauze onto the piece of cloth he had.

"Sort of… I'm in training." He paused and looked up into your eyes. "This might hurt a bit, if it hurts too bad just tell me to stop, ok?"

You nodded your head. He was so gentle and reassuring. If he was the future of heroes then it greatly comforted you. The hero society could really use people like him right now. Especially after All Might's retirement.

You hissed in pain when the liquid hit your open wound. Even though you were no longer a little kid it was still one of the worst pains in the world to have to clean up scrapes with that unholy liquid.

It hurt, but didn't want to stop him. He was being so careful and gentle with the way he applied it, it would've been kind of nice if it wasn't burning like a bitch.

"Shouldn't you be focusing on saving people who actually need it right now?" You asked, your voice sounded more bleak and horse than you liked. You could hear the hopelessness in your own voice and you didn't like it. He looked back up at you, that same small smile was still on his lips, had it ever left?

He stared deep into your eyes and it almost made your heart stop for a moment. "What kind of hero would I be if I left a pretty girl crying in the middle of the street?"

"Crying?" You reached up to feel your cheek. You were still crying? You hadn't even noticed. He had been distracting you from all the sadness of your life with just his smile alone. It was incredible…

Wait, did he call you pretty!?

"It must hurt, I know, but don't worry, I'll fix you right up!" He said.

He thought you were crying because of the pain? The pain wasn't so bad, nothing you couldn't handle anyway. These tears were from stress, from holding everything back for so long.

Though you weren't about to tell him that.

You watched him bandage up your hands which seemed to have taken the most damage from the fall. How could you work with bandages all over your hands? You were so going to get fired.

It was kind of sad that despite being hurt, all you could think about was inconveniencing your boss. It was an unhealthy mind set to have.

"What's your name?" His voice broke through your thoughts.

"Oh! Uh- Y/n." You replied shyly, the embarrassment crying in front of him was starting to seep in. You turned your head away when you felt your cheeks heating up. You'd never really been a person to cry in front of people. So this was really embarrassing for you.  

"S-so, what about you? What's the name of my new hero?" You glanced over to him with a lopsided, bashful smile.

You saw him freeze at the sound of being called your hero, his cheeks turning the same shade as yours. Maybe even more so.

"O-oh, It's D-Deku." He stuttered out a reply as he finished wrapping up your hands.

He put the bottle and cloth back into the bags on his hips and pulled out a few bandaids. He took the paper off it and placed them over the scrapes on your knees.

"There! All done!" He pulled back and that's when you noticed the pattern on the bandaid. It had little bunnies on it!

'That's so adorable!' You inwardly squealed. Who would've guessed a hero would be carrying something as cute as this!

It made you gush.

"Thank you so much!" Ever since meeting him you had really perked up. Somehow, he had washed your worries away, maybe all you had really needed was to know that someone cared about you? That you weren't so alone?

Or maybe it was simply because it was the first nice encounter you've had in months! Which was saying a lot since you're legs and hands are currently bleeding.

He soon stood up, offering you a hand and pulling you up too.

"It's nothing! Really! You don't have to thank me!" He waved his hands in front of him shyly. It was like he wasn't used to people wanting to repay him.

Deku grabbed all the items that had fallen out of your bag and brushed the dirt off them before handing them back.

In all honesty, heroes were something a lot of people took for granted, but it was times like these that made you realise they were humans too.

His gesture may have been small but he had still made a big impact on your mood and on your day. You wanted to show your gratitude. After all, he didn't really have to come help you. Hero or not, he still could have walked away or ignored it.

"No! Really! I want to repay you somehow!" He had somehow made you feel the first thread of happiness- or was it hopefulness? That you had felt it for a while. It was so refreshing and he had helped you more than he was probably aware of.

Maybe there was also a small part of you that wanted to selfishly spend more time with him too. He was like a sudden breath of fresh air in your life and you weren't willing to let that go so easily.

"How about I buy you lunch?" You asked with a smile.

You phone began buzzing in your pocket and that's when you remembered you had work!! You pulled out your phone and upon seeing your boss's caller ID you felt your heart freeze. You could only imagine how pissed off he must be right now.

You looked up to see the worried face of your new hero, he must have caught on that something was wrong. Did he really care about you that much? You were nothing more than an acquaintance to him, and yet seeing you frown was clearing upsetting him too.

The world really did need more people like him.

You weren't sure where this sudden boldness had come from but you declined the call, and like that, weight on your shoulder was lifted. You shoved your phone away.

You'd be lying if you said it didn't make you feel a bit special

You'll deal with the consequences later.  

You smiled up at him. "Are you free right now?"

"Actually, I finish my patrol duty in 10 minutes." He replied. "If you don't mind waiting for a bit, then I'd love to get lunch with you!"

You shook your head.

You didn't mind waiting at all. You'd happily wait days, weeks even, to spend more time with your new hero. Something in your heart was telling you to get to know him better- to not let him go so easily.

Maybe fate was finally giving you the break you so desperately wanted?

"Great! Then wait here and I'll be back as soon as I can, ok?" He smiled so brightly you could practically feel the warmth radiating from it.

"It'll be my treat! To make up for not catching you in time!" He declared before running off, not giving you time to fight him on it.

You were supposed to be the one repaying him but it seemed he was now treating you to a meal instead, and you had a feeling that he wasn't going to stand down from it either.

You sighed happily and clutched your bag to your chest as you stared down at the cute bunny band aids that decorated your skin.

"Maybe today will be a good day after all."

[1989xtaylorsversion]

wonder isn't the best, but it's not the worst (my album review)

hello mendes army and camilanators (is that what her fans are called? i have no clue...) du(spoiler alert, it's SM3, although i wish he gave it a different title. i hate when artists name their albums after themselves-unless it's taylor swift.)ft.)

this might be an unpopular opinion, but i don't hate wonder. it's not my favorite album of his (spoiler alert, it's SM3, although i wish he gave it a different title. i hate when artists name their albums after themselves - unless it's taylor swift.) i actually enjoy most of the songs, and i think it garnered a bit too much criticism. (i'll get to that at the end). anyway, i'll just get to the point.

1. intro

this is a cute way to start the album. i don't really have much to say, it's literally just an intro. it works as a nice transition into the next song.

2. wonder

ahh wonder, the first lead single. i actually love this song. it's one of my favorite shawn mendes songs. i think it sounds magical, especially at the end. it's so dreamy and beautiful. the music video is nice too, but his dancing is... interesting :)

3. higher

this song is soo catchy. it's a bop and the beat is so interesting.

4. 24 hours

i've loved this song from the moment i heard it. it has a bit of a slow start, but the ending is my favorite part. it's just really sweet and dreamy.

5. teach me how to love

are you kidding me?? how did he make "monster" a single but not this?? we were robbed. this song is my favorite on the album, and one of my all time favorite shawn mendes songs. it is so incredibly catchy and it's impossible not to bop to it. the bridge and the outro... i ascend. although, shawn, you couldn't have just said the f-word? whatever, i'll forgive because it's just so good.

6. call my friends

i like this song. the chorus is the most memorable part of it though. it's sweet, so good job shawn.

7. dream

oh my, i love this song too. he did a great job with it because it sounds dreamy. the verses are amazing and the chorus is so soothing and beautiful. it's like shawn's singing me a lullaby lol. i find myself going back to this song a lot.

8. song for no one

and here we have it, one of my least favorite songs on the album. the second i heard it i knew something didn't sit right with me and that feeling never really went away. i've never been able to sit through this song all the way through. it's just so boring and as harsh as it may sound, a little pointless. like how are we gonna go from dream to this? i wish he had just left this on the cutting room floor. the ending is kind of interesting, but it's not enough to save the rest of the song.

9. monster ft. justin bieber

i mean i like it, i guess. i like their verses and they both sound good. i'm trying to remember the music video but i think i like it. the video is a bit boring from what i remember, but oh well. the song is catchy and if i'm in the right mood i might bop to it. but, even with the combined power of 2 canadian pop stars, it's not enough to rank high on my list.

10. 305

this song is so fun! you can't not bop to it. it literally makes me feel like i'm on a rollercoaster ride or i'm at a carnival... if that makes sense. it's short but sweet

11. always been you

i really don't have any gripes with this song, i actually really like it. it's nothing too special, but i like the dramatic chorus and i like the sentiment behind it. although, if it's for camila, i don't buy it... sorry :)

12. piece of you

i really don't listen to this song too much. the beat is catchy but it's just not my favorite.

13. look up at the stars

i really like this song! it's so sweet and the lyrics are adorable. i think he said that it's a song for the fans but the lyric video contradicts that?... if it for the fans, that's really cute. i've noticed that a lot of the songs on this album kinda switch up on you when you least expect it, this one included. it's a good song, shawn!

14. can't imagine

i can't imagine why he included this song on the album. i also find this song incredibly boring and pointless. it sounds like he didn't finish writing it, which is fine if that was his vision. it just does nothing to enhance the album in any way and it's really lackluster. i usually look forward to the closing track because i'm always interested to hear how an artist ends their album, but this left me disappointed. if he had excluded this (and "song for no one") i literally wouldn't have noticed.

overall thoughts:

like i said, i think this album isn't as bad as people make it out to be. there are good parts to most songs. i think what ruined the album and subsequently, this era was shawmila. his stans didn't like them together and i imagine that the last person they wanted to think about while listening to these songs was her. even though i think it's a tad over hated, i get some of the hate. this whole era felt so messy and kind of unreal. also, every interview seemed to be the camila show. it seemed like all he talked about was her instead of the actual music. watching them shove their relationship (?) down our throats was insufferable. i think the promotion of the album coupled with the barrage of vitriol he was receiving from even his hardcore stans really messed with the longevity and success of this album. his team probably thought all the shawmila pr was going to do wonders for him, but sadly the opposite was true. i don't know how it actually charted, but i don't think it was his most successful release. anyway, SM3 remains superior but wonder's cute too. i am ready for his next era though.

my rating: 6.5/10

the weakest songs: intro, song for no one, piece of you, can't imagine

the strongest songs: wonder, teach me how to love, dream

[bby-ahgastay]

Smoking Buddies (pt.2/?) - H.J.S.

a/n: this is pretty long ig huh. sorry it took so long, i had like three different versions for a second and it took a while to actually end up with this. anyways, can y'all tell i've been in a very soft mood lately? this might be fluffier than you guys (or i) expected but i miss my crush and i just want to hug him again, so i showed it through this i guess :(. hope you enjoy it thank you for reading!

member: han jisung (stray kids)

summary: after a heated make out session right behind chan and changbin you and jisung go back to his apartment for soft and sorta sleepy sex.

word count: 3.5k

(1) / (2) / (3)

warnings: mentions of smoking weed, oral (female receiving), soft cuddly sex.

when jisung and you arrive at his place he doesn't hesitate to push you against the door as soon as it closes. he still manages to be so gentle with you, staring lovingly into your eyes. the two of you have come down from your highs considerably by now, a sleepy feeling beginning to come over you both.

"god, i'm so happy this is actually happening... i can't wait to get to know every part of you," the words are mumbled and make your face heat up. he moves down to kiss you, slow and passionate. his lips move over yours tenderly, everything slowing down around you as you fall further and further into just him.

as you lose yourself in his touch it's hard for you to remember the point in time you would go back your dorm and see your roommate still up, waiting up for you to get home from hanging out with changbin, han, and chan. this was when you had started getting more comfortable around the boys and were just starting to spend more and more time with them.

ryujin always knew when you'd be coming home late and had no doubt that you would be ready to go on about jisung. so she waited up to let you talk to her about him, knowing you needed someone for that. and one time she told you that, too.

"start coming home earlier, y/n-yah! i miss that extra two hours of sleep!"

"hey, no one said you have to wait for me! i have a key, too, you know," you pouted back her. she had given you a dramatic eye roll and sigh in return, deadpanning back to you afterwards.

"you know it's only because i know you're getting a crush on that jinyoung kid, right?"

"jisung, he’s older than us and therefore not a kid, and no i'm not!"

"yes you are, like i'm so sure you are. and i know how much i usually want to talk about my crushes too. so i'm just helping you out, love."

after that night you had stopped talking about him so much. you still thought of him plenty, but no one had to know that. ryujin is still your roommate, and your best friend. you can’t help wondering what she’ll say when you tell her about all this. she's older than you but not even by much, you two were still born in the same year. but something about how she carries herself made her seem so wise and made you feel like her opinion matters a lot for some reason. maybe you could say you'd admired her a little.

when she told you this though, you were definitely a little embarrassed. all three of them flirted with you by then so you had figured that it all meant nothing. and with that decided, you thought han would never like you.

but now his tongue runs over your bottom lip, taking it in his teeth playfully. you look up at him smiling when he pulls away. "i feel so lucky that you’re kissing me right now, sungie... it’s like a dream come true," you giggle, one hand on his bicep and the other combing through the front of his hair tenderly.

his heart flutters at your words for sure, especially with your eyes sparkling up at him like that. he's wanted this for a long time, too. as long as he's known you. he never would have thought that he could actually have you alone and in his arms, letting him kiss and touch you.

there were many nights he would go bother either of his hyungs to talk about you, laying his head in chan's lap or laying on top of changbin’s back. he’d sigh wistfully as he spoke about how you found stupid things funny, and how you seem like a good dresser, and how he thinks you do your makeup nice, and just about anything else he could think of. at first they just thought their hannie was excited to have a new friend, but when they saw it wasn't just that they immediately turned it into a joke.

"you like her! you like our little baby y/n?!"  they exclaimed on the day they had cornered him. the two elders were discussing not only how jisung talking about you had started to seem almost constant, but also how he was sounding a bit smitten too.

his denial was what had caused them to start flirting with you in the first place. "if he won't admit it, we'll break him into admitting it," chan and changbin had shared many giggles and many blunts while going over the matter together. after so long they both began to wonder if it was almost a little evil, forcing their younger friend to watch them flirt with the girl they knew he had liked. but hey, it worked right?

jisung knows that he's the lucky one here, he has no doubt about it at all, and hearing you say that you really think otherwise could probably break his heart. but no way would he let you know that you're affecting him like that. not right now.

so to recover from the moment he just shakes his head and kisses you again. he doesn't even have to say anything, his lips on yours speak a thousand words and it's enough for you. then you're both just focused on each other again. his lips are back on your neck in no time, only adding to the seemingly endless collection of hickeys you've gathered from him today.

"fuck, i just remembered how bad i wanted to taste you earlier... come on, baby, let's go to my room," he whispers in your ear, and you feel as if you were in a trance. when you look at him, you see a harsh and demanding demeanor barely hidden behind the sweet facade his eyes hold. just the look he gives you is enough to get you to nod and follow him eagerly to his bedroom.

not that you’d even need any guidance to the room. you’re as familiar with this apartment as you are your own childhood home. and there were definitely many nights you would have to text ryujin that the boys had once again convinced you to stay the night. sometimes the four of you would set up a huge bed of blankets on the floor in the living room, watching movies and smoking and talking until you knew you had to go to sleep. but other times, if maybe one of the boys had something to take care of early or if you had a morning class, you would all agree not to go all out.

so instead you would always end up staying in jisung's room, him just usually the first to offer. the first few times you slept in there he insisted on sleeping on the floor, a fight you were never able to win. then there was eventually a night where he gave up easily, a bad day leaving a strong craving for his bed that night, and being close to you sounded like a huge bonus. 

you had let him fall into your arms, soothingly running a hand through his hair as the other rubbed his back. he still thinks about how you sat and listened to him, making soft sounds every once in a while to show you were paying attention. he’s pretty sure that’s the night he realized he loves you. and after that it was no longer weird for you to cuddle and share a bed, something that he was proud of even though it was purely innocent in his mind.

once the door is closed behind you guys, jisung stands in front of you to look down at you with fond eyes. you're both in a daze, the drowsy feeling from coming down mixed with just touching each other leaves your eyelids hooded and chests heaving. one of his thumbs brushed across your bottom lip, his other hand rubbing your hip underneath the baggy sweatshirt.

you can't look anywhere but at him, everything else dulling in comparison to the way his eyes are sparkling even with how the fatigue is beginning to darken the area around them. his hands run across your body on top of the fabric as he moves up to unzip your sweater, pushing it off of you completely and sliding his hands over the skin on your sides. stepping away for a seconds he slides his hands under your tank top to move it up, watching the way your boobs bounce slightly when they’re freed from the thin material.

his hands don't stop wandering your body; groping your ass over your sweatpants, digging his fingers into your hips to drag you against his clothed bulge every once in a while, running up and down your back, brushing against your boobs attentively. the way his touch makes you light up gives you the urge to touch him as well, wanting to feel all of him you can.

your hands go under his shirt and he's nearly amused by the cute little pout you get as you push the material up, your eyes asking him to take it off. thinking about you in the way he's gotten to know you so well, it's really quite funny to think about how needy you're getting for him right now. the only thing that keeps him from laughing is just looking at you. it kills him how you still manage to look so innocent, your small figure staring up at him with your bottom lip out and your eyes wide.

you're glad when he pulls his shirt off, but he doesn't give you much time to enjoy it as he begins pushing your sweatpants down. your panties go down with them, jisung letting you hold his hand while you step out of your shoes and pants.

after you kick the pile aside on the floor his hands are on your hips, guiding you backward towards the edge of his bed. he lowers you onto the foot of the mattress and kneels on the floor in front of you. gazing down at him in excitement, you feel his lips on your thigh already start to make you feel so, so good.

he places his hands on your stomach and gently pushes you back to have you lay back as his kisses inch closer to your heat. you breathe heavier in anticipation, aching for him to touch you. his hands go to your thighs, pulling your legs over his shoulders so he can get closer to you.

jisung has a hard time taking his eyes off of you laid out for him like this. he's imagined this for a while now, and he couldn't be happier that he's finally going to be the one who gets to please you. he has take a second to appreciate it all, like how you're already breathing so heavily just thinking about him touching you. or how your hands are so naturally resting on your tits, not even realizing yourself gently kneading and pinching at them.

you look more beautiful than he could ever imagine, and having you laid out waiting for him to do something to you has his cock aching in his boxers.

when you first feel his tongue run over your folds a moan falls past your lips before you can even realize it. you blush a little and one hand goes to cover your mouth but jisung just smirks against you.

"no one is home yet, baby, don't worry... let me hear your pretty sounds, okay?" you look down at him, his lips glistening with your juices. you nod slowly as he licks his lips, head falling back when he returns to your core. the way his tongue works on your clit and moves to push inside you has sounds pouring from your mouth, only encouraging him further and further.

you slightly roll your hips up, wanting more. one of his arms falls across your hips to push you down and the other hand goes to push two fingers inside you. you gasp at the feeling, clenching around his digits.

it doesn't take too long, and maybe it is just a little too quick. but with the way it feels to have his long fingers inside of you and his mouth so deliciously attached to your clit, not to mention the drug still amplifying every sensation, you know you're already close. you don't usually cum so quick, but han jisung just knows how to make you feel amazing apparently. how did you not do this sooner?

"oh, fuck, y/n," his head comes up, hair in his eyes as he looks up at your whining figure. "you're gonna cum already, huh? i can fucking feel it with how much you’re clenching around my fingers, baby," he groans, watching his fingers moving in and out of you.

he speeds up and seems to hit that perfect spot every time his fingers are pounding back into you. all that's heard in the room is the sound of his fingers moving in you and his name leaving your mouth repeatedly as you're pushed closer to the edge.

once he ducks his head back down to suck at your bundle of nerves you know that's it, and you're letting out high pitched moans as you come around his fingers.

"you're so hot, i swear," he groans while watching you. his eyes linger a moment on how your walls are gripping around his fingers. you look up at him as he slows down for a moment, meeting his eyes and seeing the cocky glint in them. "and so tight, jesus... if you're this tight around my fingers, i don't even know if you can take my dick, jagiya," you can tell he's half kidding, but a smug expression is stuck on his face as he chuckles a little.

and the joking undertone reminds you for a moment that he's still the same jisung you've gotten to know. the one who has always been there to make you laugh and who you know you'll always be more comfortable around than anyone else in the world. the one who you think you may have come to be in love with.

your thoughts are mushy and way too sweet for the way he looks up at you so sure of himself, the wetness from your pussy still glistening on his lips and chin. he looks hotter than you could ever process, you almost feel flustered. but you don't want him to feel the satisfaction of that fact, so you roll your eyes and look down at him again. "i'm so sure," you tease him. his eyebrows go up a little, fake shock and hurt on his face.

"are you saying you think i'm small?" he gasps, standing up. you crawl further up the bed, sitting near the pillows and shrugging. your eyes don't leave him as he goes to his dresser, pulling open a drawer and taking out a condom. he tugs his pants off to roll it on. you watch and take in every detail you can, noticing one vein that’s especially prominent on the side. well, he's definitely not small.

and then in a second he's hovering over you, eyes still just as confident as he looks up and down your entire body. he's good at playing the whole smug guy character, but you can still see the sweet look behind it all. 'i guess you really are good at hiding it, han jisung,' you think adoringly to yourself, 'but i still know you're just a smushy little shy boy.' it will be a cold day in hell when you don't let him take control over you, though. and you already can tell there's going to be many levels to his dominance all to be explored eventually, an exciting thought for sure.

"well then i'm just gonna have to shut you up," he brings his hand up. you know exactly what to do for him, opening your mouth to take his fingers in and sucking them clean of your own juices. and then he's pushing into you without warning, your mouth falling open as he does. stopping for a moment, his fingers are pulled from your mouth as he looks down at you.

your jaw is taken in one hand to make you look at him, his touch ever so gentle. concern is written over his face, silently asking if you're good. you hum and nod, smiling from the satisfying feeling of him stretching you out. as he rocks into you slowly, sweet kisses are left all over your forehead and cheeks and nose and lips and anywhere else he can reach.

you look up at him as his member drags against your walls delightfully. he really does look sleepy and you're sure you do too, but his fluffy hair and swollen lips make him look so soft and cuddly in the most charming way. his hands pin your hips to the bed, one of yours going to run through his hair and the other going to his cheek.

while the pace is slow, it still feels better than any you've ever had. the fact that the first time you two are having sex is so mushy and loving like this definitely makes it better in your mind, you know it will always be a heartwarming memory no matter what happens between you two.

"sungie, oh my god... shit, you feel so good," you breathe out, head falling back into the pillows. he leaves a kiss on your neck before bringing one hand to lift your head back up, pressing his lips on yours as you clench around him.

he was right before, you really were so tight around his cock and it was driving him crazy. that and the sight of himself moving in and out of your wet pussy had him already close, but no way was he going to miss seeing you cum again.

"you feel good around me too, baby. i guess i did fit, but you are so fucking tight y/n. jesus," he gives an extra hard thrust, forcing a moan from you. you let out a low, pleased hum as he begins pounding into you harder and deeper, your eyes rolling back as he hits unimaginable spots. the smirk never leaves his face as the way you moan his name is almost unintelligible, your words slurred from pleasure and the sluggishness starting to take over. fortunately his dick is more than enough to keep you awake.

one hand goes down to rub circles into your clit, his hips speeding up slightly. him drilling into you just right has you pulling him closer to you to attach your lips again and moaning against him. his other hand is tangled in your long hair, elbow near your head to support himself. you know for a fact that you're still a little stoned, your body is tingling comfortingly and it makes you feel jisung's touches twenty times better. your body is on fire and there's no way to keep you from cumming anymore.

jisung has to pull away from the kiss as you release around him, the feeling triggering his own orgasm and pulling a few throaty moans from him. you both clutch each other tightly, your head buried into his neck as he continues to fuck you, sloppier now, just to work you both through your highs.

you whine a little when he pulls out of you, squirming under him a bit. leaving a kiss on your forehead he stands up to throw away the condom.

you catch your breath and watch him as he moves, getting comfortable by curling up under the blanket with your head peeking out on top of his pillows. just yesterday you'd think it would be impossible you would ever get to do that with jisung. but you're beyond happy you did and not a single fiber of you regrets it.

especially not while you watch how he hurries back over to the bed from the trash can near the door, lifting the covers up and diving in with you. he comes up behind you and hugs you close, nuzzling his head into your bare shoulder. a chuckle falls past your lips as you look back him, mumbling a small 'what.'

"i heard my hyungs in the kitchen, who knows how long they've been back," he cringes at you, his nose scrunching up adorably. your mouth falls open and you shift to face him.

"oh my god!"

"i know..."

"aw, no... do you think maybe they might have not heard anything?" you pout hopefully up at him.

he winces and shakes his head. "ahh, they sounded pretty settled in, like they've been here a while. i'm sure they did hear you moaning my name at some point," his tone is purely playful but you still whine, hitting his chest lightly.

"shut up."

"never."

and neither of you say anything else, his arms pulling you tighter against him. he leaves a small kiss on your nose, then he closes his eyes and settles in more. it's not long before you hear his soft snores. and you know it won't be too much longer before you're out too.

no other time you've been in his arms has been so blissful. any other time has always been borderline painful, your mind never letting you forget how he didn't feel the way you did. you're glad you were wrong. 'i definitely love him' you think to yourself.

you nearly feel overwhelmed with how your heart fills to the brim with love as you stare admiringly up at the peaceful looking boy. stopping yourself from reaching out to squish his cheeks isn't easy, but you manage. instead you bring a hand up to push aside some hair that was falling over his eyes, stroking his cheek lightly after.

being in his arms makes you feel just so completely and absolutely safe. it's so hard to remember that this is real. you stop looking at him and rest your head on his chest, closing your eyes and letting sleep take you.

[bloodyspade0000]

Generation of Miracles || Chapter Three of isn't it lovely?

Shougo always thought he could do everything on his own and never bothered asking for help. Until things get out of hand and he ends up getting hurt badly. Giving him no choice to suck it up and ask for help. Even if it's from the Generation Of Miracles. Now, they got no choice to pick up broken pieces and forgive the past.

Chap 1, Chap 2

A/N: I decided to post only the first three chapters of isn't lovely on here since it's on ao3.

Trigger Warning: mild gore

[Ao3 link]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

↓

It was a normal day with calm blue skies above; a silent breeze blew through the air as Daiki walked, heading over to Ryouta's house for a sleepover without any worries.

Until he turned a corner, and a barely perceptible sound from beside him made him stop in his tracks. He didn't know what he expected. A stray cat? Or maybe a homeless person?

But, definitely not Haizaki Shougo of all people sitting on the ground.

And for some reason, Daiki approached him even though some internal part of him told him he should leave Shougo and pretend he didn't see him.

Yet, he didn't.

His feet kept moving as if they were moths drawn to a flame, propelling until he stood above him.

Shougo lifted his head, and their eyes met. A characteristic scowl appeared on his face. But it didn't reach his eyes. They weren't filled with the usual fiery rage that scorched everything it touched. They were lifeless. "You," He growled. "Why the fuck are you here? "

"Could ask you the same," Daiki grunted, bending down and looking him over. Shougo's face was flushed, his brows furrowed together, and he was so pale it made the blood and the bruises on his face stand out in a far harsher contrast. His fingers were wrapped in bandages and Daiki swore if he were to lift Shougo's shirt, he would find more. "Did you get into a fight?"

"What the fuck do you think?" Shougo spat, going with the lie he always told. But, was sometimes true.

"Do you need help?" Daiki asked even though he knew getting involved with Shougo would end up badly. Especially since the last time they saw each other, it ended up with Daiki punching him in the face.

"You? Help me?" Shougo threw his head back and laughed. "Yeah, right! I don't fuckin' need help from someone like you. So, scram!"

Daiki frowned. "Hai—"

"Why the fuck do you even care?" Shougo said. "Last time I fuckin' checked you hate my fuckin' guts."

Shougo was right. Why did he care?

Daiki tried telling himself it was because he was surprised to find Shougo so hurt since after every fight, Shougo usually ended up with a few scrapes and bruises. Sure, he might have broken a few bones—

Yeah, that wouldn't work.

It was just for some reason, even though he disliked Shougo. He still somewhat cared about him. Maybe even a little.

And—

"Look—"

"Hey, there you are, Aominecchi!" The familiar sound of Ryouta's voice called out from behind. Daiki turned and saw the rest of The Generation of Miracles.

"Well, ain't this fuckin' great," Shougo sneered, getting their attention. "It's the Generation of fuckin' Morons."

"Shougo-Kun?" And before Ryouta or the rest could get a good look at him. Daiki stood up, blocking their view of Shougo.

He offered him a hand. "I'm not asking how you feel," Daiki told him. "If I tell you I'm going to help you, I'm going to help you."

"And I already fuckin' told ya, I don't fuckin' need your help," Shougo snapped, glaring at him. "So, fuck off."

Daiki's eyes narrowed. "Shou—"

"Fine," Shougo huffed. "Do whatever you want, you stubborn bastard." He glanced away. "I don't care anymore."

He was tired. Tired of arguing. Fighting. Pretending. Everything.

And—

Hey… if he was lucky, Tetsuya could change him too and show him the 'light.'

Shougo snorted at the thought before doubling over and erupting into a loud harsh cackle of laughter.

The Generation of Miracles glanced at Shougo as if he had finally lost it. And maybe he has or—

His remaining thread of strength frayed before breaking completely, sending him plummeting over the edge and into the darkness.

Hysterical laughter turned into sobs, shaking his frame and threatening to tear him apart from the inside. Shougo fought to reclaim control over his body, shocked by the sounds escaping from deep within his chest.

He tried to wipe away the tears. But, he couldn't. He couldn't stop them from falling. Couldn't stop the shaking. Couldn't stop more broken sobs from escaping. He couldn't force them down.

He couldn't force them down like he usually did.

Couldn't. Couldn't. Couldn't stop.

'W—Why?'

Why?

Why couldn't he stop crying?

Why was he…?

'It hurts….'

It hurt. It hurt. It hurt.

F—Fuck.

It hurt so much.

'I—I can't do this anymore,'

L.O.V.E

His breathing was ragged, and gasping as he choked on sobs, clutching his chest.

The walls he so desperately built around himself were crumbling and…

A-And… right in front of The Generation of Miracles.

They didn't move. Didn't know how to react. Except—

Except for Tetsuya, who was already bending down and pulling Shougo into his embrace, rubbing his back and trying his best not to let his own tears fall.

The others looked away. They just thought Shougo was just an asshole.

An asshole who went around picking fights, hurting and stealing. Someone who was filled with violence and rage. The guy who was considered dangerous and maybe a little unhinged.

Expect, he wasn't just all that.

He was a broken kid who probably grew up knowing only violence. Not an ounce of kindness because nobody bothered to get close. Close enough to look him in the eyes and see past all the rage. All the violence and see the pain, the self-loathing and the guilt.

What the Generation of Miracles saw now. What they should have seen a long time ago.

Yet, they hadn't because they never understood him and shut him out instead, like the rest of the world.

They never gave him a chance.

And they felt terrible for not realizing it sooner.

They wanted to fix things.

But could they really. Could they really fix their relationship? Mend, something that no longer existed?

Or maybe they could.

It was never too late for second chances, right?

L.O.V.E

When Shougo couldn't cry anymore. He felt numb and exhausted. He wanted to close his eyes and never open them. Wanted—

"H—Haizaki-Kun….?" Tetsuya spoke, voice shaky and eyes wide with horror as he glanced at the blood on his hands and soaking through Shougo's shirt, staining them both crimson. "… Y—You're bleeding."

"Yeah…" Shougo said, glancing at it blankly. "… I guess so."

It was like he no longer cared. Like he was used to seeing his own blood. Like it didn't bother him anymore. And it didn't.

"Y—You—"

"Tired…" Shougo slurred, exhaustion and blood loss finally taking its toll, dragging him under, closing his eyes sounded like bliss, and maybe when—

"Don't fall asleep," Shintarou told him, pulling Shougo away from Tetsuya, scooping him up, staining his hands with blood as he felt Shougo's feverish body for the first time, lifting his shirt and peeling away blood-soaked bandages.

He didn't know what he expected.

But it wasn't—

Shintarou grimaced, swallowing hard while the others froze, dread falling over them.

Shougo's torso was ripped to shreds, covered in raised angry welts and ragged edges of flesh that wept blood. Scars also littered his body, along with burn marks and bruises that looked more like—

"W—Who would do something like this?" Ryouta whispered in horror, looking away. He felt sick.

"That doesn't matter right now, Ryouta," Seijuurou said, watching as Shintarou brushed away a loose strand of hair from Shougo's burning forehead, gently laying his head on his lap, turning to his battered body. "Frist, we do this."

Within seconds, Shintarou quickly tore up Shougo's clothes, wrapping up some of the more severe wounds to the best of his abilities.

'Just what did you go through, Haizaki?'

"I stopped the bleeding," Shintarou spoke, pushing up his glasses. "But we might need to call an ambulance."

"N—No," Shougo whimpered, trashing weakly in Shinatrou's arms. "Plea… Please, d—don't….c—can't."

"I'm sorry," Shinatrou apologized as more pleas escaped Shougo's lips, begging them not to take him to a hospital and that — "I—"

"It's alright," Daiki stated softly, taking Shougo from Shintarou, picking him up bridal style and cradling him in his arms. "We won't, just hold on, okay?"

Shougo closed his eyes. "Okay…."

Ryouta's house was closer, anyway.

[geek-gem]

Let's talk about Hilda's dad

As you've seen from my latest posts. I've made stuff concerning Hilda's dad and I've mentioned him before. But now I'm speaking more about him. Especially after finding out he does exist in canon.

Many minutes ago or so I got a message from someone by the name of @smol-maru55 who I was nervous to speak to because I worried I might of bothered people with my posts. But Smol was very polite and actually offered me information that literally Luke Pearson himself answered in a review. I thank Smol for sharing me this because this changes quite some stuff.

Especially what's amazing this was before the show aired on Netflix. Including I think this is where the wiki on the show got this information. Luke talks about other stuff but he talk about Hilda's dad. If you guys don't mind I'm gonna share what he said. But I'm gonna keep the link to the interview to show where it came from. Especially he said other other interesting things too.

Luke Pearson: "There are too many stories about absent/crappy fathers turning a new leaf and showing everyone that they were always a good guy really. It's not something I'm interested in getting into. Hilda's dad's never been there for her, and his absence doesn't define her or her mum in any way, so I don't see him as an important character. I may touch on what his deal is eventually, but he's not going to get to swoop in and take up a lot of panel space."

That's what the main man himself said. Including like I said it changes my mind on some things. But I understand where he's coming from.

Related to the topic and I have spoke of this before. I do have head canon on Hilda's dad and it was around the early days of when I was in the fandom and they still are relevant.

Basically I had this idea for why Hilda's dad wasn't around was because of some reasons. Yet it's honestly like I joked about what the fandom would think would be quite depressing. Even for a show like Hilda. While it has it's serious moments. This would of been a bit much.

The idea I had for Hilda's dad is at first he did love his family, he loved Johanna, and he loves Hilda. But over time as Hilda grew up and became more adventurous, something changed.

Hilda's dad never liked the supernatural and how it was so normalized it was. Especially his daughter was embracing it and her attitude actually annoyed him. You have things like Twig living with them, Woodman visiting without permission. Including other things out there.

So I decided I guess at a point and reading a Johanna X Reader story(Yeah I'm saying that I'm not saying where) featured Hilda's dad and he left the family when Hilda was 5.

Basically he left her at a young age, told Johanna he just couldn't handle the stuff that was going on. He wanted a normal life. The guy left to go somewhere else most likely join the military. Which was something I wonder if I should make a thing but it's official I put him as a SAS which is kind of ridiculous.

He literally left because he didn't wanna deal with Hilda's adventurous attitude and other things. Which kind of says something....if the guy can handle one of the most harsh training for one of the toughest special forces in history, and he passes with flying colors....

But he can't handle Woodman and he almost tries to kill him with an axe. Which I joked about with @simonxriley that Hilda's dad wanted to kill Woodman at one point but Johanna got to stop him(because she even knows that's wrong and Hilda wouldn't want that). Especially it didn't phase Woodman and that freaked Hilda's dad out. Also Hilda found out later when Johanna told her.

The story for him I had was he would go to Trolberg after Woodman told him what happened. He visits them and it be this arc of how he wants to do better and be with his family again because he realized he was selfish. But it doesn't go that Luke talks about. This is part of the depressing part.

So the idea of the story of Hilda's dad trying to get together with his family is showcasing after years without them. He tried change but he can't. Because he thought everything would of been normal now in a city but Hilda didn't change and it's some what worse in Trolberg when he finds out the adventures Hilda has been in.

Especially Hilda's dad revealing to Hilda he actually left because of her. Because he didn't want a daughter who embraced the supernatural and all that around her. He has this prejudice against that stuff because it bothers him.

With the lesson being sometimes dad's aren't always as they seem. Even after they left they sometimes won't change and you have to move on from them. Because if they can't change why should you have them back in your life if they won't change for the better.

Basically with Hilda doubting herself that her own father abandoned her because of her personalities. But because of her friends and Johanna she learns it's okay and it's her dad's fault.

Hilda's dad was supposed to be an antagonist in a way. But not a villain despite he's a SAS ex one or not that's scary. He's a guy who can't mature and change, and just appreciate his daughter of who she is.

I wanna make this clear not every dad is shitty, their have been bad ones. But not every dad is bad I want to be clear on that. It was the concept of Hilda and Johanna moving on from him because he couldn't mature and be at peace with everyone. Especially how his daughter grew up.

Thinking in the end he just leaves, tells them goodbye and realizes this never worked. But seriously that sounds depressing like maybe that he does love them but he can't handle it, yet he can handle being an SAS.

Honestly thinking on this I definitely see why Luke didn't wanna do something like this. Even with my intentions being a different outcome. It's just a bit much unless the show takes on more serious subjects if Luke wants to or not.

In fact I even predict and think I could of made something like a reaction to Hilda's dad is that everyone if you love Johanna, if you ship Johanna X The Librarian, or if you love the show a whole lot and every character. The whole fandom just bands together to hate Hilda's dad because why the hell would you abandonded her own daughter because she loves flying on Woff's and she loves wilderness and everything it has to offer? Hilda is literally the best thing ever and a child that's a blessing.

I do think or yeah I remember. Their was an idea I had for an extra character. A younger male who would be a babysitter if Johanna wasn't around, and has a crush on Johanna and it's sort of like a child having a crush on a teenager at first. But basically it turns out that babysitter this guy that really cares for Hilda and her friends is basically the dad she always wanted and the kind of man Johanna always wanted because he actually cares despite he's weird, he tries his hardest.

I'm sorry for rambling, but again I totally get Luke on why he doesn't on go into detail of Hilda's dad. Especially the fact he admits it never had such a huge affect on Hilda and Johanna's life and they aren't defined by it. God I love he actually said mum but he is British.

Still would of been funny if well I originally wanted Craig Fairbrass as Hilda's dad but I want Kit Harington now so I can see all the stupid but funny headlines of how Jon Snow is in Hilda and people getting into the show and I'm like, "Me and a whole bunch of other fans were here first" it be this funny thing.

Also the younger babysitter guy would be voiced by Tom Holland or KJ Apa.

Really I would like to hear what was Hilda's dad's deal of why he's not with his family anymore. It's probably not gonna be like this but I keep thinking he and Johanna weren't a good match and he's actually a good guy. But still that's the thing Luke doesn't like.

I want him to be a good guy now voiced by Kit Harington because my God if a character like that existed on Hilda, he would probably be the worst character because he's more of a selfish jerk than other jerks like Trevor or the Marra. Especially Trevor is just a kid but still though, hope he develops in season 2. Especially the Marra are the Marra, their jerks, but they just want to cause nightmares for folks. Even though Kelly seemed to be alright because Frida showing some kindness towards her after giving Kelly her bunny back. Which might of well not fully changed but had Kelly appreciate Frida more.

Also Victoria Van Gale just kidnapped a baby weather spirit which was shitty. But considering her place was destroyed. She probably learned her lesson.

An asshole dad who left his daughter because he didn't like how she was is a bit too much even for me or....something.

Anyway I wanted to share that. I'm sorry this got long and me rambling.

[nomtheburritos]

I'm going through a really rough time right now and just needed somewhere to vent since my family and friends don't care. I have depression and the past few days I've been spiraling down further and further and I'm getting close to hitting rock bottom. Nobody around me takes my emotions seriously, my parents make me feel like a f*ckup even though I have near perfect grades and try to be the best I can for them. I'm stuck around a bunch of homophobic people that I can't get rid of while I'm gay

Hey there anon!It’s just fine to come here and vent. It sounds like a terribly rough situation, one I recognise in my own family and my past. I don’t have a clue about what age you are, but it doesn’t matter in the end - it’s just what options are available when we’re teens and when we’re adolescents. First off, your emotions are valid. I’m sorry, so very sorry that they’ve not been taken seriously. It’s a common thing for people to ignore or thing we’re “kidding around” for attention or whatever other reason, while in truth we’re trying to cry for help all this time. Your parents sound very harsh. You’re clearly doing your best and I’m sure you’re more than worthy of getting praised. You’re worthy of love, of appreciation, of support. I’m sorry that they’ve failed you on that front. Parents, as much as they are a big part of our life, don’t always know how to properly act like parents, especially now that it’s more socially accepted to talk about our problems, mental illnesses, gender and sexuality issues than it was during their time of growing up. They’re often used to bottling up things or pushing on without giving much thought of how this affects them, and later, us - their children.I’m also very sorry to hear you’re surrounded by homophobes. In the world we live in, it’s still too common for this to be the case and I feel for you, deeply. It took me a long time to find a group who truly doesn’t give a damn. They’re out there - out here on Tumblr too. There’s so many of us LGBT+’s, it’s just such a shame that people like you happen to be around those who oppose the core of who we are but ask (or don’t even have to) to be accepted themselves.Is there anyone you think you could come in contact with? It sounds to me like you’d need someone to have discussions with about your feelings and thoughts about your home and general life situations. A councillor, someone of the kind at school/uni/work, a psychologist or psychiatrist - anyone who can be considered a professional whom you can confide in as your nearest don’t seem like the kind of people you need to feel better - about yourself and about what you feel alike.It is very important that you can see if there’s anyone you could turn to, so that you can get the support you’re worthy of. This situation is not okay at all, and I don’t want to see you hitting rock bottom as I know from personal experience how very tough to get out of it may be. I’m so proud of you for reaching out to me though, for wanting to do something this good for yourself. You’re clearly a great person who’s dealing with more than they ever should have and you have been carrying it alone.I’m sadly not around as much as I used to, since my own private life is quite the mess and I’m trying to focus on that. So I will always reply, I just can’t know when I’ll be able to do it. And I really want to give proper replies to messages like these because I know how very important they are. What you need is someone professional or some friends you can trust to get through this. A good support group, whether at a LGBT centre or safe space (online or near you) or at school/uni/work - someone you can talk to about this and get tips how to get by this really big and harmful hurdle, is what I’d tell you to look for. It’s okay to want help with this, and I’m sure you’ve fought for a long time with this. I’m very sorry it’s gotten this bad. You’re wonderful, appreciated and wanted, by us here and I’m certain many around you too. Be safe, and return if you need to vent more. I’ll do my best to be there, and I’ll always read it when I get it. Stay safe, and lots and lots of hugs to you okay? Tell me if anything changes and if there’s anyone you find who can be your support.Much love x

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

Hey! Lovely page. I have a situation I need some help with... (I'm sending 2 separate asks so I can explain better.) I'm a bi girl; I wouldn't call my dad biphobic, as he's not violent or hateful towards bis... but he expresses that he doesn't think bisexuality is real, and he thinks anyone who says they're bi is a lair/faking it. My older sister is openly bisexual and my dad never treated her badly per se, but he still is open about his negative opinions. Last fall I came out to my Mom (...)

(it’s me again) My mom accepts bi folks, to my relief, but I think she has trouble understanding it. I came to her with the intent more than anything to let her know I was with a girl at the time. (I had a GF and I felt really guilty not telling my mother about it) Mom was very accepting… but she began outing me!! She outed me to my whole family and extended family. What’s worse is, she outed me incorrectly: she told them I was a lesbian! She did not tell them I was bi. Continuing in a 3rd ask

(part 3) I find NOTHING degrading about being a lesbian. For a long time in the closet I did identify as one, because I liked girls before I started liking guys. But I’m bi, I didn’t even tell my mom I was lesbian. But now my whole family thinks of me differently, and thinks of me as something I’m not. Here’s a big part of it: I’m the definition of girly-girl. I’m totally the most feminine pink sparky girl ever. And my family, especially my parents, are stuck on stereotypes. (continuing)

(part 4) MY PARENTS AND FAMILY ARE PUSHING STEREOTYPES ONTO ME. I’m not a butch but they think that since I’m a “lesbian” that I should be! Which is damaging because I’m Bi and they don’t understand that. It’s also assuming that WLW can’t be feminine, which isn’t true. I’ve had a crush on a boy from school since October and when I told my mom, she was confused. My mom then without my permission, told my dad, then he mentioned it in front of me and laughed in my face. What should I do???

(part 5, sorry this is long!) Lesbian stereotypes are bullshit, but regardless I’m a ballet dancer and I wear makeup on a daily basis. I don’t fit boyish “d*ke” stereotypes anyways. So I’m really uncomfortable with my family trying to label me like that. It’s hard to talk to them because my Dad is still unaccepting of bi people, and I’ve been in this situation for 8 months. I need it to stop but I don’t think they’ll understand.

So, first of all I disagree with you when you say you wouldn’t call your dad biphobic. Saying that bisexuality isn’t real and that bisexual people are liars or just faking it and perpetuating other negative opinions about bisexuality while also laughing at you and not believing you (or your sister) is exactly what biphobia is. Biphobia isn’t just being physically violent towards bisexual people, it’s also invalidating them and repeating false stereotypes. Biphobia is being a parent of a bisexual child and still not being willing to educate themselves about bisexuality. Having two bi kids schould be more than enough reason to want to actually learn more about it and deconstruct their own negative misconceptions but they don’t seem to have any intention to do anything in order to be accepting and supporting parents.

This goes for your mother as well. You came out to her as bisexual which she seemed to have completely ignored and instead thinks you’re a lesbian. That, again, is biphobia. If she doesn’t believe bisexuality is real and that you must be either gay or straight - that is biphobia!

And also she had no right to out you in front of anyone without your explicit permission. Doesn’t matter if she outed you as bi or gay - it’s an act of violence to out queer people in front of others. It could put you into danger (e.g. if a family member is very queerphobic and would be physically violent towards you), she subjected you to more verbal queerphobia from your family and last but not least: she robbed you of your self-determination. She has had NO RIGHT to take your coming out away from you. When, where, how and to whom you want to come out is YOUR decision and yours only. She took this from you and that, again, was queerphobic violence.

So... personally, I am angry as fuck at both your parents and I would kick their biphobic asses if I ever met them. Anyway, I know that doesn’t help you right now. My advice would be to a) find support in your sister and give her the support she may need aka stick together! it’s good you have each other! b) don’t give a fuck about your parents. They have disappointed you and until they apologise and show that they want to better themselves, then - in my humble opinion - they don’t deserve the privilege to be a part of your life.

Of course you could keep correcting them when they call you a lesbian, tell them that “no, I’m not gay, I’m bisexual. As I’ve told you, you know, a million times before!” but you don’t have to waste your energy like that if you don’t want to. You could also tell them that either they learn to accept you and your bisexuality and stop invalidating you or you don’t see a way how to mend this severely injured relationship you have right now.

I may sound harsh and my way may not be your way but... I don’t have any pity for queerphobic parents. If they want to play an active part in their children’s lives then it’s them who’ll have a lot of work to do to change their “opinions” because right now they are hurting you (and probably your sister, too).

Maddie

[ponyregrets]

I'm also drunk and literally any sort of minty smut would be? Rad. Maybe where they're like, in a semi public place and millers like freaking out but Monty's like this is THE BEST

this ended up with not that much miller freaking out bc he was distracted by monty being into him sorry not sorry

AO3!

“I can’t believe you’re making me go to a party,” Bellamy grumbles.

Nate rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I’m making you. I told you Clarke told me she and Monty were going to be here and I might go, and you decided you were going to come with me.”

There’s a pause, and Nate rolls his eyes even though Bellamy won’t see. Bellamy’s ridiculous crush on Clarke wasn’t something he anticipated, when he introduced the two of them. He and Clarke were in the same friend group in high school, but not totally friends, and he’d sort of expected the relationship wouldn’t last past graduation, but they ended up at the same college, in the same dorm, so they just kept on being friends. They picked into the same dorm sophomore year too, albeit on different floors, and Bellamy lived next to Nate. He and Nate became friends, but Nate was kind of worried he and Clarke would murder each other.

Which, honestly, might count as an improvement over their actual relationship. Their actual relationship is basically just both of them pretending they don’t want to get married, but they’re definitely going to, so as far as Nate’s concerned, they should just lean into it. But if they want to spend an entire party having one of their stupid arguments instead of making out, he’s not going to stop them. Nate has bigger fish to fry.

Namely: Monty Green.

Monty is adorable, bisexual, and in Clarke’s biology class. Nate has been trying to flirt with him, but he’s had trouble finding opportunities, and Clarke just rolls her eyes whenever she witnesses it, so–the party seems like a great opportunity. Clarke and Bellamy will be distracted with each other, and he can drink a little, loosen up, and try to figure out how to flirt with Monty.

“Fine, I can’t believe you’re going to a party,” Bellamy finally says, which is a pretty decent save, as saves go. “You really think this is the way to hit on Monty?”

“Sorry, are you suddenly an expert on flirting?”

He scowls. “I’m great at flirting.”

It’s actually sort of true; Bellamy’s good at picking people up in a way that Nate never has been. If Bellamy wants to get laid, he can generally do it without much trouble. He knows how to go into a party, pick a person, and take them home; he just starts running into problems once feelings get involved.

Nate is just kind of generally bad at follow through. He doesn’t have much trouble with flirting; he’s great at innuendo and joking around, but he’s basically terrible at taking the step beyond that and actually making a move. He never quite believes that people are serious about him, so he doesn’t know how to put himself out there and be serious about them either.

“So am I,” Nate says easy. “We’re shitty at relationships, though. Might as well get drunk and see what happens, right?”

Bellamy snorts. “Yeah, good attitude.” He pauses, gives Miller a contemplative look. “You need me to do anything? Wingman, or whatever? Is that a thing?”

“Yeah, you can wingman me by distracting Clarke so she won’t try to help. I can do this without you two.”

“Can you?” Bellamy asks, sounding wary.

“Better than I can with you guys hovering and offering commentary.”

There’s a moment while Bellamy thinks it over, but then he inclines his head. “Yeah, that sounds right. I’ll keep us out of your hair.”

“You’re a good friend,” Nate says, and holds the door open for him.

The party is in the basement of some random dorm, and as Nate hoped, it’s already going when they arrive. There’s nothing he hates quite as much as being one of the first people at a party, especially one where he doesn’t even know who’s running it. All he knows is Clarke and Monty are here and the theme is “bubbles.”

Some kid gives them both bubble fluid, and there’s a bubble machine, and loud music and dancing.

“What the fuck,” Bellamy says, and Nate offers his fist for a bump. College parties are so weird. This is why they don’t go.

“You see them?” he asks.

“Not yet. Maybe they aren’t–wait, I think that’s Clarke.”

“You would find Clarke first.”

“She’s blonde, it stands out.” He nudges Nate. “That’s her, right?”

Nate glances over, and there she is, a drink in her hand and her hair loose and tumbling. He watches her turn to talk to someone, and there’s Monty too. He’s not wearing his glasses, and he and Clarke have both decorated their faces with thematic circles of blue glitter, which is doing a lot more for Nate than he would have expected.

“That’s them,” he agrees. “Ready?”

“I’m not–” he protests, but apparently gives up on his attempt to act like he’s not going to hit on Clarke with a sigh. “Yeah. Ready.”

Nate leads the way through the crowd, and Clarke sees him first, and then visibly brightens when she spots Bellamy behind him, because they’re fucking ridiculous, as human beings.

But then she nudges Monty, and Monty is grinning at Nate, so, everyone is ridiculous, and there’s at least a decent chance their ridiculousness will work out for everyone. That would be awesome. Everyone can get laid at the bubble party.

“Hey!” says Clarke. “I can’t believe Bellamy’s actually at a party.”

“I’m a party animal,” he says, dry. “Nice glitter, princess.”

His attempt at sarcasm is useless; Clarke lights up with pleasure, and Monty catches Nate’s eye and gives him a slightly exasperated smile.

“I feel like we’re under-decorated,” he tells Monty.

Apparently it’s the right thing to say, because it’s Monty’s turn to light up. “You want some?”

“You brought glitter to the party?”

“What if we need touch ups? We have to maintain that perfect look, Miller.” He pulls a little container of glitter out of his pocket and shakes it in Nate’s general direction. “Come on. It’ll be fun.”

“Lead the way,” says Nate, and follows Monty through the throng of people to the bathroom. It’s shockingly bright and white inside, in contrast to the dark, sweaty dance floor, and under the harsh lights, Monty’s glitter looks even sparklier.

“Sorry to drag you off as soon as you got here,” says Monty, with a mischievous smile. “But I promised Clarke I’d leave her and Bellamy alone as soon as possible.” He jerks his chin toward counter of sinks. “Sit.”

Nate finds a dry spot and hops up. “Did she actually ask you to promise that?”

Monty pauses. “No. She just casually mentioned you and Bellamy were actually showing up to a party for once, and I promised her I’d leave them alone without actually telling her I was doing it.”

“Sounds about right, yeah.”

“It’s fine, she’ll definitely ask him to dance. Clarke actually loves party dancing. She’s kind of a frat boy at heart.”

“I know. I was in high school with her, remember?”

“I actually always forget that!” says Monty, grinning. “I can’t imagine it. Do you have a yearbook or something? I want pictures of you guys. I bet you were both in the play.”

“We were, yeah. We were both in the theater clique.”

“I knew it.” He taps Nate’s knee. “Open.”

“Open?”

“Legs apart. I need to get in there.”

Nate is dark enough it’s not very obvious when he flushes, but he can feel the rush of blood to his cheeks. Which at least means the blood is going away from his dick, so that’s a plus. He spreads his legs and Monty settles between them with the glitter.

“I figured this was Clarke’s thing,” he offers. “The glitter.”

“It was her idea, and she did mine, but I did hers. Don’t worry, I’m not going to mess up your pretty face.”

“Yeah, that’s definitely what I was worried about.”

Monty is biting his tongue in concentration, leaning in close, and Nate’s blood is definitely reconsidering where it wants to go. Monty smells a little like alcohol and a little like sweat, and his hair is brushing against Nate’s face when he moves, and it’s a lot to deal with.

“Why does everyone call you Miller?” he asks. “I know I call you that because Clarke does, but how did you start going by Miller?”

“We had two Nates in our friend group in high school, so we both went by our last names. And me and Clarke were in the same dorm freshman year, so everyone here picked up on it too.”

“Nate,” Monty says. “I like Nate.”

“I’m fine with pretty much anything. Bellamy calls me hey, dickface half the time.”

“I think that has to be a more common name than Nate.”

He laughs. “Yeah, probably.”

Monty pulls back to survey his handiwork, and when his tongue darts out to wet his lips, Nate tracks the movement without meaning to. He’s so close.

“Good?” he asks, voice coming out a little rough.

“Yeah!” Monty’s voice is way too bright, and Nate is worried he made it weird, but then he pauses and says, “You know what, actually, no.”

“No?”

“Not quite done,” he says, and then he kisses Nate.

It’s a quick kiss, just the press of his lips before he pulls back and to check Nate’s reaction, anxiety melting into relief at Nate’s (probably very dorky) smile.

“Okay, now we’re good,” says Monty.

“Are you kidding?” asks Nate, pulling him back in. “That was nothing.”

This kiss is longer and wetter, Nate sliding his hands up to ruck up the back of Monty’s shirt, Monty licking into Nate’s mouth, taking control in a way Nate wouldn’t have expected and is really, really fucking into.

“Oh fuck,” says Monty, nipping Nate’s bottom lip. “Wow. I didn’t think that was going to work.”

“Which part?”

“Any of it. Clarke told me you were into me, but–wow, have you seen yourself?”

“Yeah, but apparently you haven’t seen yourself. I just came to this party to hang out with you.”

“Holy shit. Okay, wow. Yeah. Really?”

“I don’t like Bellamy enough to come to a party to set him up,” Nate says, and Monty snickers. “It’s a party.”

“Glad I’m worth the effort.”

“Definitely,” says Nate, and pulls him back in. Monty’s hands anchor themselves on his hips, and Nate wraps his legs around Monty’s waist and then–

There’s a burst of sound and they jump apart as some drunk kid staggers in, unzips and pisses into the urinal, and stumbles back out without washing his hands or apparently noticing them.

They both stare at the door for a second, and then Monty breaks down laughing on Nate’s neck.

“Well, at least he wasn’t homophobic or anything,” Nate observes, and Monty just laughs harder. “But I guess we should maybe stop making out in the bathroom.”

To his surprise, Monty sobers, and he presses his lips to Nate’s neck, and then scrapes his teeth there, just barely. “Or we could go into a stall and you let me suck your dick.”

Nate chokes. “Holy shit, Monty.”

“Sorry, did you not want me to suck your dick tonight? Because that was like at the top of my list of things to do tonight. Suck Nathan Miller’s dick and leave Clarke alone with Bellamy. That was my entire to-do list.”

“I’m honored.” He swallows hard. “Fuck. You really want to suck my dick in a fucking dorm bathroom?”

Monty’s hand slides down between Nate’s legs, rubbing him through his jeans, and Nate groans. “I want to suck your dick, like, yesterday,” says Monty. “As soon as humanly possible. If this is where I can do it, this is where I want to do it.”

“Someone could come in.”

“You think they care? Someone’s probably getting a blowjob out there where anyone could see. It’s a college party. Everyone’s wasted.” He nips Nate’s neck again. “Come on. I want to know what you taste like.”

“Jesus fucking shit.”

“You have a really creative potty mouth when you’re turned on,” Monty says, with clear delight. He pulls back and tugs on the front of Nate’s shirt, and Nate obligingly slides off the counter and lets Monty pull him into one of the stalls. It’s really not a hot place, like, at all, but Monty closes and locks the door and pushes it up against him, and his hand is already going for the fly of Nate’s jeans, and Nate really hasn’t gotten anyone else to interact with his dick in a while. “This is okay, right?” he asks, pulling back. “Enthusiastic consent. I got the impression that–”

“Please suck my dick in this dirty bathroom where anyone could hear us, yeah.”

Monty grins. “That’s what I thought, yeah.” He nips Nate’s bottom lip and then he’s sliding down, pulling Nate’s jeans and boxers with him, licking his lips at the sight of Nate’s erection. “Just be quiet, okay?” he asks, eyes dark. “I bet you can be quiet for me.”

Nate groans and lets his head drop back against the door. “Yeah,” he breathes. “I’m pretty good at being quiet.”

“Good,” says Monty, and he licks his hand before he wraps it around the base of Nate’s dick, giving him a few experimental tugs. He has soft hands, softer than Nate’s, but a firm, sure grip that feels perfect. “Yeah, this was what I wanted. Fuck, I couldn’t believe it when Clarke introduced us. She said I was your type and I thought she must be fucking with me. But you want me.”

“Yeah. I really fucking want you.”

“Cool,” says Monty, and slides his mouth over Nate’s dick.

He sucks dick with the same kind of cheerful enthusiasm he has when he’s talking about video games and computer programming, like it’s something he loves doing and can’t get enough of. Which is maybe a weird thing to be thinking while he’s getting his dick sucked, but Nate’s brain loves weird associations.

And, in his defense, the main thing he’s thinking is still holy shit on non-stop replay, because holy shit, Monty is sucking his dick. Monty is sucking his dick, and it feels so good, he can barely breathe.

Some vague third part of his brain registers the door opening again, the sound of the party, and the knowledge that if anyone looks in the stalls, they’ll be able to tell exactly what’s happening, will see two people and one of them on their knees, just makes him harder, makes him push into Monty’s mouth, and he can feel Monty’s smile when he realizes.

The door closes again, and Nate breathes out, “Fuck,” just under his breath.

Monty pulls back enough to say, “Quiet,” and Nate ends up biting his own arm at the end, muffling the sounds he wants to make as Monty’s tongue works his slit and his hand works his shaft.

Monty swallows a lot more cleanly than Nate’s ever managed, and then he leans back on his heels, grinning up at Nate.

“You’re really good at that,” says Nate.

“Why do you think I wanted to do it so much? Now you’re totally going to keep me.”

“I was already going to keep you. I, uh–not to make it weird, but I really like you as a person. Not just for your blow-job skills.”

Monty laughs. “Oh no, anything but that.”

Nate tugs him up and kisses him, wet and hot. Monty is hard in his jeans, dick straining against his zipper, and Nate gets his hand in his boxers to start jerking him off. “Is this good?”

“It’s a start,” says Monty, and Nate grins. That sounds exactly right; it’s an excellent start.