#also sorry for being quiet for so long asdfghjkl

[phantom-of-the-501st]

Thoughts on TBB 1x4

It hasn't been a month since the last one. Yay!

*Talks about not making analysis posts as often* *immediately posts an analysis*

I had the energy to get through another episode and type this up straight away so you're in luck!

"Hide? But I've been stuck on Kamino my whole life. Can't we explore?"

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS SAYING LAST EPISODE! Now that she's had some time away from Kamino, Omega just wants to explore. Everything is so new and exciting for her. For the Batch, it's more a case of okay, get in, do what we need to do, get out and don't make yourself known. Unless they know that they are completely safe, they don't always appreciate the stuff around them. It's more of a case of observing details as a precaution and not because the whole thing is fascinating like it is to Omega.

As soldiers, there were probably so many instances of them being dropped in new places, only for it to end really badly. But I think that makes Pabu all the more special. It's a place that they'd never been before where they could actually just appreciate the stuff around them. For a second they don't need to think about the dangers, or what could be lurking round the corner. Seeing them all appreciate a new space is so lovely, whereas here, they are very on edge.

And I like to think that they learn a lot from each other as well. Omega learns that sometimes you need to be more wary, and that you need to be aware of the dangers of your surroundings. But I like to think that she taught the Batch to appreciate the world around them more, and to indulge every once in a while.

The Batch and Bribery

I'm sorry, but have the Batch never bribed anyone before? They are a ragtag group of misfits who constantly find themselves in trouble and do things by unconventional means and you're telling me that they've never had to bribe someone before? What???

I like to imagine that everyone in the past just looked at Wrecker (or Crosshair) and thought "haha NOPE" so they've never had to pay anyone to keep quiet.

Echo's Droid Disguise

IT HAS A KAMA!!! It's a detail that I've always loved. The idea that he still has a kama even though it's not a thing that you see in droids is one of my favourite things. Once an ARC trooper, always an ARC trooper, even when in disguise (apart from that one shot where they forgot to include it and it's the first time we actually see the back of Echo's legs since TCW).

Also, if Fives was here, I can totally imagine him wanting a droid disguise as well. Just one of those typical sibling moments where his brother got something really cool and now he wants one too. Except I feel like he would be having too much fun with it and that Echo would have to keep smacking him upside the head because Fives would keep doing the robot dance instead of paying attention. (He would also just make fun of C3PO the entire time).

Plus, I'm not gonna lie, I feel robbed. The fabric(?) bit around Echo's head goes under his headpiece thing and WE NEVER GET TO SEE HIM TAKE IT OFF. I don't know why I want to see this so much (maybe because I'm curious about how it attaches) but I wanna see his headpiece come off so bad!

And one final note on the disguise, why do they even have it? Where did it come from? They don't seem to have used it before so I'm assuming they just had it lying around. Did Tech make Echo a droid disguise as a "just in case" thing? How long have they had it??? And does that mean they have a box of disguises somewhere? I like to imagine that it just consists of Echo's droid disguise, a bunch of poncho's and one of those plastic glasses/moustache combos.

More Echo

HE'S SO SOFT AND NURTURING ASDFGHJKL I CAN'T

He really is just the sweetest bean. I love him so much! Honestly, I can imagine that Echo has always just been really good with kids. The idea that the 501st would be deployed somewhere and the next thing you know, Echo has an entire swarm of kids around him who love him (because how can you not) and he's being super friendly and sweet towards them. And I think that comes from being the "responsible" one from Domino Squad. He would have to corral his brothers, so he just learnt on instinct how to handle kids. And I can also imagine him being the one that everyone would turn to if they felt sad or scared and he would be there to comfort them and I'M GETTING THE FEELS!!!

This is just turning into me gushing about Echo...

Oh well, what's new

*me watching Echo this entire episode show*

(Also, this is completely irrelevant but these gif came up when I was searching for the other one and now I have the urge to rewatch TFATWS because I love Bucky and Sam so much. They're another one of my chaotic duos and this moment is so wholesome <3)

Anyway, back to the TBB!

Okay, my next note literally just says "Five's would've been such a fun uncle istg" and I don't know how to go into more detail with this because HE 100% WOULD AND NOW I'M SAD THAT HE'S NOT AROUND BECAUSE HE WOULD SPOIL OMEGA ROTTEN AND TEASE ECHO ABOUT BEING A MUM AND WOULD JOKE THAT HE'S HER FAVOURITE AND OMEGA WOULD PLAY ALONG AND HER WOULD TEACH HER ALL THE PRANKS THE HE AND ECHO USED TO PLAY AND I JUST MISS HIM SO MUCH I-

...I guess that's how I go into more detail.

Okay, deep breath *breathe in* *breathe out*

I think I'm okay now... maybe.

"I am worth more than 2000"

WE LOVE A MAN WHO KNOWS HIS WORTH! Echo's just like "I'm sorry, but I have to put up with you lot 24/7, you're not selling me for that price, what do you think you're playing at?"

Although, as much as I think this scene is hilarious, I do like the fics that delve more into the negative repercussions of Hunter's decision here. The idea that something like this actually triggered Echo's anxiety or self-loathing or doubt because he was sold as a droid is a really interesting avenue and while I think they probably find it too serious of a thing to discuss in a children's show, half of the stuff that happens in TBB is much more horrific so GIVE ME ECHO HAVING PTSD FFS! Not because I want him sad, but because I think it's an interesting avenue to go down, especially if you have Hunter learning to navigate where Echo's boundaries are as someone who has been through the trauma that Echo has.

Omega and Cute Animals

Honestly, Omega getting distracted by cute animals is such a mood. I just wanna pet every adorable animal that I see and I totally get distracted every time I see a cat.

"I got separated from my friends"

At this point, she still refers to them as friends rather than family. I feel like that's less of a case of her not feeling like they're her family, but more a case that she's not sure where the boundaries are with them at this point and whether it's appropriate to refer to them as such. They're still figuring out the dynamic at this point and I love the little details like this that show that.

Klink

I LOVE KLINK SO MUCH!!!

"Gear up, fellas! we're going into the field!"

I swear, in every scene this man does something that makes me love him more. It 100% feels like something Rex would do and I like to think that comments like this are a habit he picked up from his older brother.

"You got me for a bargain"

This analysis could just be me gushing about Echo for who knows how many words. The sass level is perfection.

Vehicle Safety

Now onto something that has bugged me for a while in Star Wars. WHY DOES NOTHING HAVE AN IGNITION KEY??? I'm sorry, but vehicle theft rates would probably be much lower if you couldn't just get on/in something and drive away with it. They can invent hyperspace travel but they can't find a way to stop people from running off with your speeder bike? Someone needs to get on that ASAP.

Poor Civilian

I feel so sorry for the bloke who got thrown out of his speeder by Fennec. Imagine driving home from work and a random bounty hunter just yeets you into oncoming traffic.

Actually, that's another thing. Does nothing have seatbelts??? They have bars across the crash seats in the Marauder, but why are there no other seatbelts??? Props to Din who actually set up a way to keep Grogu strapped into the seats on the Razor Crest. Everyone else is just waiting to be thrown into traffic.

Concluding Thoughts

I feel like this was less analysis and more headcanon

Echo is great

Road (air?) safety in the Star Wars universe is atrocious

[fleurriee]

lana im so excited for his just from the summary itself!! forbidden love?? im a sucker for it 🥵

alsoooo i really need nete to look at me like that in that gif like??? i need him to devour him whole yes pls…

The night had already slipped away, the moons shining brightly in the sky, silently witnessing your inner turmoil as you, for the third time now, abandoned your attempt to braid your hair. A sense of unease settled in the air as you found yourself alone, lost in deep contemplation, unable to sleep peacefully.

idc how many times i say it… WRITING. lana u truly are the definition of poetry, every word you write is just so beautiful & you have the power to truly take a simple sentence & make it so ethereal-sounding. teach me your ways oh my days!

What Lo'ak didn't know was that your "whomever" happened to be his own brother, a secret you no longer wanted to keep hidden. 

lo’ak bby i will always love u,, but your brother 👀 he just does things to me im sorry. i hope he wouldn’t take offence lmao

Everyone would understand, you were sure of it. But Neteyam didn't want to hear any of it; he ignored your questions, changed the subject, and smooth-talked his way out of it every time. You were so fucking tired of it all. 

okay, i can see both sides here, which you’ve portrayed very well, my love <33 like, reader feels as tho she’s probably not as important to him bc she’s a secret & if they truly love one another, why shouldn’t they announce it to the world u know?? whereas i also get nete bc he’s the future olo’eyktan & he’s probably a little worried about ruining his reputation by going against his elders & saying he wishes to mate with his baby bro’s intended. lmao, what an amazing situation we have here!!

…like the subtle nod of his head signaling you to follow him to the forest, or the way he licked over his lower lip, barely noticeable to untrained eyes, but a clear sign for you that you wouldn't be spending the night alone.

the butterflies this just gave me. i want this so badly with nete asdfghjkl… forbidden tropes just do it for me!!

“But that has never stopped me from seeing my beautiful girl."

“Cannot let my girl go to sleep angry, can I?"

i just melted. my girl 🤤

…the peak of pleasure within reach and tantalizingly close whenever he was near. It was crazy.

he fr just has that power. like, one look at him & being in his presence & boom. combusted.

In the next instant, you already regretted your quiet plea, as the following sound you heard was the screech of fabric ripping apart.

THIS MAN HAS MY ENTIRE BEING WITHIN HIS GRASP UGHH

"Shh, yawne, not so loud…”

"You like that?" he whispered in a sultry tone, knowing damn well you did, his breath feeling so hot on your pulsating core caused another shiver to run through you.

yes, i do indeed like that🥴

This was different, you knew it. Not even in the woods last week, or when he surprised you while bathing early yesterday morning, had you experienced anything like this.

pls i need full descriptions of each and every time they met up in secret like 🥵

Small beads of sweat glistened on his body, looking like stars in the pale moonlight, and his bioluminescent freckles glowed so beautifully, giving him an ethereal look as if he were blessed by Eywa herself (which he probably was), as if he were the only source of light in the darkness, as if he were the answer to all your questions, your anchor, your key.

im sorry i had to include this entire thing bc?? this description of nete is so fucking beautiful what?? 🤧 he truly is the definition of heaven & you have just proved that with ur magnificent writing once again!!

"I promise you, I will make you mine."

Although you knew, he'd be long gone in the morning, you snuggled against him, pretending as if he was yours and you were his, the both of you meant to be.

the forbidden trope is just so delicious & exciting & when he’s adamant she’s gonna be his??? sign me the fuck up, where’s my nete?

lana i think my brain stopped working like halfway through this, that’s why the comments just kinda… stopped, bc i was just so in the moment & enthralled lmao. i don’t really want to repeat myself, but the writing was immaculate as always & the SMUT??? 🤌🏻 it wasn’t cringy at all, it was amazing!! you’ve outdone yourself once again & im definitely coming back to reread this masterpiece soon <33

HOTTER THAN SIN | neteyam x reader

pairing: neteyam x f!reader

summary: at night, you find yourself seeking solace and comfort in the arms of your lover while conflicting emotions highlight your struggle between duty and true happiness.

word count: 3k

warnings: forbidden love trope, nsfw content - minors do not interact, fingering, oral (f receiving), p in v, biting, marking, some background info for the plot (to make it a bit logical), cheating with consent (?), you and neteyam acting like wild animals lol it's always h words hours with him, all characters are adults

na'vi words: yerik - hexapede (deer-like pandoran animal); yawne - beloved

* gif's mine (for the first time)

"You are promised to my baby bro." His words echoed in your mind, over and over again, as you absentmindedly ran a comb through your hair in your nightly routine. The night had already slipped away, the moons shining brightly in the sky, silently witnessing your inner turmoil as you, for the third time now, abandoned your attempt to braid your hair. A sense of unease settled in the air as you found yourself alone, lost in deep contemplation, unable to sleep peacefully.

"Your baby bro loves someone else, and so do I,"  you had told him, not to appease your own conscience or even his but as a matter of fact. It was true that you and Lo'ak had been forced to reach a silent agreement, but that didn't mean you were in agreement at all. It was largely driven by your parents and his; you had been betrothed to each other as young children, unaware of the true significance of it. As the years went by and this arrangement took up more presence in your lives, both you and Lo'ak realized that there was absolutely no chemistry between you. And so, you agreed that until your impending mating (and both of you were confident you would find a way to escape the situation by then), he could do as he pleased with whomever he wanted, and so could you. What Lo'ak didn't know was that your "whomever" happened to be his own brother, a secret you no longer wanted to keep hidden. 

You've had many conversations with Neteyam about it, repeatedly making it clear that you were not satisfied with the current situation, and that you no longer wanted a secret affair. You were tired of meeting him whenever it was convenient and not when you wanted, tired of hiding in the shadows when it could be so easy to change it all. All he had to do was face his elders and announce that he had chosen you as his mate by his side. Everyone would understand, you were sure of it. But Neteyam didn't want to hear any of it; he ignored your questions, changed the subject, and smooth-talked his way out of it every time. You were so fucking tired of it all. 

However, you were not tired of his lustrous glances during communal gatherings, his playful smiles whenever he saw you at training, his gentle touches on your lower back that lingered a bit too long whenever he passed by, his whispered compliments close to your ear when no one was looking, and his secret signs only you knew, like the subtle nod of his head signaling you to follow him to the forest, or the way he licked over his lower lip, barely noticeable to untrained eyes, but a clear sign for you that you wouldn't be spending the night alone.

"What the..." you furrowed your brows, setting the comb aside in your hand, as you saw a familiar silhouette standing at the entrance of your family's tent, a smug smile on his face. "Are you crazy?" you whisper-yelled at him, "My parents are sleeping!" You quickly glanced at the sealed section at the end of the tent, hoping that no one would come out and see you together with Neteyam in the middle of the night.

"I know," he shrugged nonchalantly, "But that has never stopped me from seeing my beautiful girl."

"Not your girl," you reminded him harshly, "Your own words. Besides, I'm still angry at you, so in case you don't have an answer to my questions, you can just go away the way you…" 

You gasped then, your eyes widening in alarm, like those of a yerik witnessing the sharp tip of an arrow hurtling towards it. Suddenly, you found yourself lying flat on your back, with Neteyam above you, having pinned you down. How on Pandora had he done that again? Just a few seconds ago, he was standing at the entrance of the tent, you had been distracted for a fraction of a second, and now... 

You decided not to dwell on his surprise maneuvers for long, as his soft lips had once again claimed yours, the same as the hundreds and thousands of times before, washing away any questions and worries with a single sweep. You gasped into the kiss, letting your slender hands roam over his strong arms, tracing along his well-defined back where your fingertips pressed into his delicate skin. Eywa, this man was perfect.

"That's why I'm here," he mumbled in between hot kisses, while your lips almost refused to part for even a second, "Cannot let my girl go to sleep angry, can I?"

You sighed into the next kiss, a longer, and more passionate one, but tried to keep a clear head as a single question dominated your thoughts: Just when would you officially become his?

"Do not ask questions whose answers you cannot handle," he whispered against your lips, brushing a tender kiss on the corner of your mouth, and buried his left hand in your flowing hair.

"You know I can handle it," you retorted, a slight pout on your lips. You no longer wondered how Neteyam always seemed to know what was going through your mind. Perhaps he just knew you inside and out. Or perhaps you were an open book, and everyone else could genuinely read from your face what you were feeling, what you were thinking. That was indeed the most plausible explanation that had come to your mind since the first night you has spent with Neteyam. Yes, that must be it, you must be easy to read. 

If only you knew that you were precisely the opposite. You had thrown Neteyam off balance so many times without even trying, without even realizing, solely through your actions, which stood in contradiction to your feelings that he could sense as clearly as a gentle touch because he did, in fact, know you inside and out. You were anything but easy to read. At least not always. And you were probably the most capable person he had encountered, with him always being in awe with the new surprises you had up your sleeve. 

Neteyam smiled a genuine smile, "Just trust me on this and leave the rest to me." 

His deep accented voice triggered so many emotions within you. Your hands slid lower, reaching the hem of his loincloth, attempting to untie the knot, but it proved to be more challenging than anticipated as Neteyam playfully nibbled on the delicate skin of your neck, occasionally running his tongue over it in a teasing manner. You shuddered so intensely under his touch that you believed you were on the verge of experiencing an orgasm solely from his caresses, the peak of pleasure within reach and tantalizingly close whenever he was near. It was crazy.

"Yes," you murmured as his hands tenderly glided along your sides, descending to your bare thighs, venturing further toward your heated core, which yearned so desperately for attention. But he took his time, still lavishing attention on your neck, sending shivers cascading down your spine. His tongue traced a path down to your chest. You yearned to feel more, so much more, and the absence of his touch in that specific place drove you wild. His hand traveled up again, skimming delicately over the insides of your thighs, teasingly brushing against your heated core, only to divert his focus to your taut stomach and breasts. Everywhere but there.

"Please." It almost sounded like whining, which caused the prince of the forest to chuckle softly once again. 

In the next instant, you already regretted your quiet plea, as the following sound you heard was the screech of fabric ripping apart.

You gasped heavily, staring at him with eyes filled with desire. "You... oh, you. Couldn't you have done that like a normal person?"

"I thought you didn't want to wait any longer," he smirked, exuding an irresistibly seductive charm. Gone were your loincloth and upper feathery piece that you had loved so dearly, having spent hours of weaving. He then adjusted himself slightly as you struggled to remove his loincloth. The clothes fell carelessly to the ground, as if they had never belonged to you both. Completely naked, as the Great Mother had created you, and yet like wild animals, you both pounced on each other.

Shamelessly, he now gazed at your body, completely exposed, as you lay before him, as you eagerly craved his touch. But this time, it was he who looked rather surprised, as you swiftly rose up, burying your hands in his nape and and drawing him back down to you. You pressed your throbbing core against him and your sweet lips against his, claiming him with fervor, completely consumed by desire. You kissed him this time with wild, unrestrained passion, and dug your nails into the firm flesh of his back. Neteyam broke away, gasping for a moment, before turning his attention to your breasts. He encircled your hardened peaks with his soft lips, sucking and teasing them, occasionally nipping and biting, which elicited another gasp from you. It aroused him immensely to hear those sweet sounds escaping your lips, knowing that only he could evoke such a response from you. His loins were on fire, his cock eager to feel the wet, tight embrace of your folds, but for now, his focus was solely on you, you and your quivering body under his hands and his mouth.

"Mhmm," you hummed, running your tongue over your lips and wrapping your legs tightly around his hips, grinding your arching core against the hardness of his arousal. You wanted to feel him. To feel him filling you completely, driving you to the edge of sanity, but he took his time, still caressing your tits, occasionally nibbling lightly on your hardened nipples, eliciting soft moans from you, before soothing them with his tongue. Meanwhile, his hands never ceased their massaging motions, sensually exploring every inch of your body. His mouth trailed lower, moving along your stomach, and his tongue traced circles around your belly button. His hands gently spread your legs apart, granting him more access and freedom to explore your trembling form.

Arching your head back, as much as you could in that position, you let out a soft moan as his hands glided briefly over your pulsating core. He lowered his head between your legs and tantalizingly licked over it, causing a slightly louder moan to escape your lips this time.

"Shh, yawne, not so loud," he warned you, and once again turned his attention and focus on your sensitive pearl, licking it once more before exhaling a gentle breath onto it, which sent shivers of pleasure coursing through your body.

And there it was... his lips pressed against your highly sensitive spot. He kissed you there, suckling on your bud and then traced small circles over it with his warm, wet tongue, causing you to grip the mat under you tightly. Eywa, it felt so good. He knew exactly what he was doing, and you wanted more. So much more.

"You like that?" he whispered in a sultry tone, knowing damn well you did, his breath feeling so hot on your pulsating core caused another shiver to run through you. Unable to form any words, you simply nodded, your back arching as he expertly buried two fingers inside you, pleasuring you and making you see stars. Afraid of being too loud, you pressed your own hand against your mouth, while simultaneously pressing your hips against him. With your other hand, you caressed your breasts, eliciting a low growl from Neteyam. If only you knew the intensity of the fire you ignited within him as you touched and pleasured yourself before his eyes. 

Before you could lunge at his neck in frustration for withdrawing his fingers just as you were on the edge of orgasm, you could already feel the firm tip of him pressing against your slick entrance. Opening your eyes, you locked your gaze with his, a wave of longing twisting your features as his lustful gaze met you, making your pelvic muscles clench with burning desire, begging for his hard cock. 

Neteyam's smile grew even more seductive, his demeanor unapologetically indulgent as he plunged into you with one powerful thrust. You gasped for air, wanting to moan, and the handsome man knew it wouldn't be a quiet affair. So, he quickly pressed his lips against yours, making you taste yourself on his tongue, and muffling your cries as he initially took you in a slow rhythm.

You wrapped your legs around his hips once more and threw your head back as you felt Neteyam's lips on your neck, his hands on your breasts, and his throbbing hardness pulsing between your legs. Biting down on your tongue, you suppressed the urge to moan loudly, moving your hips to meet his thrusts and digging your fingers into his back, leaving faint red marks that would surely fade by tomorrow.. 

"Ahh, yes… you make me feel… so good… mmm… Neteyam..."  you whispered hoarsely in his ear, lightly biting into his earlobe, causing him to momentarily tense up. His weakness.

Neteyam didn't waste a moment. His hand swiftly descended between your bodies, finding your bud and expertly stimulating it with his fingers, sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body. His thrusts intensified, becoming faster and more urgent, as he synchronized the movements of his hand with the rhythm of his hips. The combination of his skilled touch and the relentless pace of his thrusts pushed you closer to the edge of ecstasy.

Your moans grew louder, the world around you spinning as the intensity of your orgasm built within you, ready to explode in a wave of pleasure, threatening to consume you and pull you into the abyss. You knew all too well that you couldn't remain silent for it became harder and harder to contain your moans any longer. The need to release them was as urgent as the pulsating sensation between your legs. You were going to scream, but you shouldn't. Not here, not now.

"Come for me, yawne," Neteyam moaned softly against your lips. His words sent a shiver of anticipation through your body. The pleasure intensified as he increased his relentless pace and his hand continued to simulate your clit. You should come for him. Only for him. Every stroke, every touch brought you closer to the edge.

"Oh, Eywa, you're so… mmm… you're so…" A chocked sob left your mouth right when your body trembled, and your muscles suddenly contracted as the orgasm hit you with such force that for a moment, you feared losing consciousness. You wanted to scream, but Neteyam's mouth on yours silenced any sound that would have been too loud and potentially awaken your parents... no, perhaps the entire village. You surrendered completely to the ecstasy, letting it consume you entirely as he continued to ride out your orgasm, maintaining his rhythm and intensity. You came undone in his arms, your release washing over you in powerful waves, a surrender to the passion that ignited between you. This was different, you knew it. Not even in the woods last week, or when he surprised you while bathing early yesterday morning, had you experienced anything like this.

You breathed heavily, keeping your eyes closed. Only dimly did you register Neteyam, heaving in sync with your own panting and heavy breathing, finding his release with your name on his lips and collapsing exhaustedly on top of your delicate body, burying you beneath him, as comfortable warmth filled you, painting your walls. Both of you were on fire, the heat between your bodies lingering, the aftershocks of the orgasm gradually subsiding, and your heart pounding in your chest, mind struggling to process what just happened between the two of you, you clung to him, to his sweaty, strong body.

You didn't want to talk, you never really did, after sex. That's why you were grateful to Neteyam for lying there in silence, giving you some time to gather your thoughts that had become jumbled in the heat of the moment.

Your worries were gone. No anger, no negativity, no elders, no Lo'ak, no duties, no secrets, just Neteyam, just him and you. 

Neteyam stood up, bracing himself with both hands on either side of your head, and silently observed you for a moment, a thumb coming forward to brush your silent tears away. Small beads of sweat glistened on his body, looking like stars in the pale moonlight, and his bioluminescent freckles glowed so beautifully, giving him an ethereal look as if he were blessed by Eywa herself (which he probably was), as if he were the only source of light in the darkness, as if he were the answer to all your questions, your anchor, your key.

Your breathing was still uneven, but you were gradually calming down. Your hair was tousled on the mat, and as Neteyam looked at you with a loving gaze, he tenderly traced his fingers along your cheek, to which you instinctively leaned in, seeking his touch.

"You are beautiful, yawne," he whispered and leaned in closer to you. He gave a gentle kiss on the tip of your nose, on the corner of your mouth, and sealed your lips with his one last time, savoring the taste of your sweetness that ignited a primal desire within him, but this time, he exerted self-control and held himself back. "I promise you, I will make you mine."

You murmured something weakly in response, closing your eyes as he placed his right hand around your body, keeping you impossibly closer to him. Although you knew, he'd be long gone in the morning, you snuggled against him, pretending as if he was yours and you were his, the both of you meant to be. And you smiled at that thought, his golden eyes were the last thing you saw before falling into a deep sleep, embarking on what would likely be the sweetest dream you had ever experienced in your life.

note: not trying to be pick-me here, I genuinely find the smut I write cringey, but let me know if you enjoyed it, loves 🥴💕

btw, I've never seen anyone gif this exact scene. how do you like neteyam staring right into your soul? (if anyone has a 4k version of that, please hit me up)

[artzdoodles]

Did I drop everything to make this immediately after I read the new page? Yes, absolutely - and I don’t regret a thing <3<3<3

The Glass Scientists is down right my favorite comic: Mx. Cotugno is a wonderful artist and so inclusive!

Characters belong to @arythusa and are from @glass-scientists - Read TGS here!!! It’s really good and I love it! <3

[cower-before-power]

Okok so I decided what I want for the event, so could you write a drabble for Gojo x female reader with prompt 14 (Sick fic aka one being the other's caring nurse) please? 🥰

Nati my dear!!!!! Thank you for your request, this was super fun! I’m not sure if Gojo actually can get sick, but for the purposes of making this more fun, let’s say he can. I hope you enjoy! (also bonus points for whoever can spot the one line of utter blasphemy, I can’t believe I actually typed it out asdfghjkl)

TW: cursing, mentions of wanting to murder Gojo (because who hasn’t wanted to at some point)

“Cupcake, I neeeeeeeed you!”

You sigh and roll your eyes to yourself as you finish ladling soup into the bowl before you. Your fiancée is the world’s strongest Jujutsu Sorceror, capable of felling anything that stands in his path- except for one thing. One thing renders your dashing hero as completely and utterly weak, useless and helpless as a normie against a Special Grade curse.

The common cold.

“Cupcake, I need more medicine! My nose is all blocked up again! And my humidifier needs more water! Cupcakeeeeeeeeee!”

“I’m coming Satoru!” you call as you place the soup onto the heavily laden tray, taking a few deep breaths before you pick it up and walk to the bedroom. You will not murder your fiancée, you will not murder your fiancée...

“Sugarplum angelcakes, how you could make me wait so long?” Gojo whines as you enter the room, an exaggerated pout on his glossy lips. He’s slumped pathetically against a massive pile of pillows, used tissues scattered around him like confetti after a parade. “I’m on the verge of drifting into the beyond, and you can’t even rush to my bedside when I need you!”

“Oh, stop being such a baby,” you plonk the tray down and begin unloading. “You’re not on the verge of anything, other than me smothering your sorry ass beneath all those pillows.”

“Soooooo mean,” Gojo moans, making grabby hands at you. “Why does the light of my life, the reason my heart beats, treat me like this? Stroke my hair, it’s been nearly an hour since last time and my headache is back.”

“Geeez, you certainly win for Most Whiney Sorcerer,” You huff but comply, plopping down beside him on the bed. You begin to run a hand gently through his soft white hair, ignoring the way your heart warms at the content purr that rumbles through him. “I bet Nanami doesn’t mope around like this. That man probably downs some Nyquil and gets on with his day. Germs probably flee at the sight of him.”

Your words make Gojo’s blossoming smile turn into a deep frown.

“Well then, why don’t you go and marry him?” He grumbles, reaching up to push your hand away. He rolls away from you and pulls the covers up over his head. “I’ll be fine here on my own, I don’t need you. Go run off to Mr. Stick Up His Ass if you love him so much.”

You sigh, rolling your eyes heavenward for what feels like the millionth time today. Please, you think, somebody up there give me strength....

“Don’t be an idiot. I don’t want to marry Nanami, even if he would be an infinitely easier patient,” you mutter the last part under your breath, but judging by the irritated “hmmph” that comes from under the blanket, he heard you. “I love you, and will only ever love you. I’m going to marry you, no matter how much you drive me insane when you’re sick. So stop being silly and let me feed you some soup before it gets cold.”

You pull the blankets off his head, and with a surprisingly timid look, Gojo turns back towards you and sits up. The room falls quiet as you carefully spoon the broth into his mouth.

“I can feed myself, you know,” he says softly after a while, and someone who didn’t know him inside and out would have missed the brief flash of apology in his eyes.

“I know,” you say, guiding another spoonful into his mouth. “But I do actually like taking care of you. Plus I already charged your black card for a weekend spa trip next month for me, Utahime and Shoko, so you’ve already made it up to me.”

Gojo’s lips quirk into a tiny smile, and he catches your wrist before you can take the spoon back to the bowl. “I love you.” His voice is tender, sincere. For all his silliness, he’s always serious about those precious three words.

You can’t help but smile back.

“I know.”

[t-lostinworlds]

My Best Girl (Tom Holland)

a/n: this was supposed to be short and sweet yet here we are asdfghjkl i mean it’s still short but 2k isn’t necessarily a blurb ahah. this was written fairly quick but i hope you guys still enjoy it!

pairing: tom holland x female!reader trope/genre: slight angst & fluff summary: You hear people gossip in the bathroom about how Tom looks so good and how you basically don’t reach his level. warnings: not proofread, tom being a wholesome boyfriend, slightly steamy ending word count: 2.3k+ requested:

prompts: ~ “Talk to me.” ~ “You deserve so much better.”

masterlist in bio & pinned post

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Galas or fancy parties have never been your thing, especially when they're littered with too many celebrities. Some of them are nice of course, sweet and kind, but some are a bit much, stuck in their own little bubble of fame. It was just the constant thing of one upping each other, who has the most expensive dress, which island did they visit just recently, whose yacht were they invited to, and so on.

It was not your crowd, at all. Yet here you were in a floor-length, black sleeveless dress, a V-neckline to match the low back and a high slit to show off your leg and your silver heels. The fabric was hugging you in all the right places while a strong arm was wrapped around your waist, warm fingers sometimes grazing the skin on the small of your back as you smile at this well-known producer who your boyfriend just introduced you to.

Your boyfriend who happens to be world renowned actor, Tom Holland.

"I need to use the bathroom," you whispered into Tom's ear, the lad cutting his conversation off briefly to meet your gaze, a charming smile on his lips and a loving glow in his eyes.

"Okay. I'll be right here," he hummed, giving your cheek a sweet kiss and your waist a gentle squeeze before he lets you go.

After asking around the staff for a minute you've finally reached the bathroom. You pushed the door open to find it completely empty which was a relief. You just didn't want to deal with any more gossiping or encounter any more "high class" people. You went inside one of the stalls and locked the door shut. Although, you didn't get a chance to even do your business when you heard three pairs of heels click against the tiled floor. You wouldn't have entertained it until they started to exchange words about a certain man.

"Have you seen how good Tom Holland looked?" one of them said, a sense of pride coursing through you because your man does look so good tonight, that until the same girl spoke again. "Do you think I could snatch him up for tonight?"

"Well he's got his girlfriend attached to his hip so your chances are close to none," a second voice spoke.

"That was his girlfriend?" the first one gasped exaggeratedly.

"No way, I thought it was his PA," a third girl said with a laugh.

"What a shame, he deserves someone who can actually match him," the first girl sighed.

"Someone who at least could afford a proper designer dress," the third one said.

All three of them laughed at that.

"I bet I could still get his number despite the girlfriend. I could just get him alone," the first one hummed, giggling to herself as if it was the best things she's said in her life.

Finally having enough, you fixed up your dress, took a deep breath to calm yourself before opening the stall door and walking out with your chin up. All three sets of eyes followed you as they immediately quieted down. Only brave behind the back, always cowards face to face.

You shot them each a wide smile through the mirror as you turned the faucet on to wash your hands. The three of them tried to return it but their lips only twitched as they stared at you in shock.

"With all the classy make-up and elegant dresses you'd think it would at least taint your personalities no? Be ladies with a bit of class and elegance but huh," you paused, rinsing off the soap and then turning the water off before grabbing some paper towels to dry of your hands. "What a shame," you tutted with a shake of your head, shooting them a sympathetic smile through the mirror. None of them spoke a single word as you threw away the paper towel and started towards the door with your head held high.

Before you grabbed the door handle, you turned back to them with a tight lip smile. "Oh, and this dress is worth more than all of you combined with how cheap your personalities are." You pulled the door open, though stopped midway through the doorway to look at them over your shoulder. "Words of advice, try and go for the single men, ladies, and maybe you'll get lucky. Although not guaranteed if you're a bit...desperate. Have a great night. I know I will, especially later with my man," you said with a smirk, throwing them a wink at the end of your sentence to properly get the point across.

But the moment you stepped out of the bathroom you felt your knees weaken, breathing turning heavy, tears burning in your orbs as you tried your best to keep them at bay until you were out from prying eyes. The words they've said have always been sitting in the back of your head, how Tom could leave you so quickly for someone who was up to his level. Someone more gorgeous, someone with a high status, someone who could actually match him in terms of looks and just overall fame. And hearing those words be said out loud, to hear them from actual strangers, it only makes them more real, the insecurities that's always been nagging in your brain. It only makes them more painful.

You rushed back out into the ballroom, holding your composure as best as you could. Tom was still in his place as promised, talking to the same person he did just minutes ago before you went and excused yourself.

"Tom," you croaked out when you got to him, not meaning your voice to sound weak the way it did. But it was already too late for you to try again when your boyfriend's eyes immediately snapped to look at you. Tom knows you like the back of his hand, one change in the tone of your voice and he immediately will notice that something was up.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked as he turned to face you fully, his hand coming up to cup your cheek so you had no choice but to look at him in the eyes. Tom's worry only grew some more when he saw your orbs glossed up with tears, features coated by nothing but utter panic.

"I'm going to go ahead and get back to the hotel room," you whispered. "You can stay—"

"No, if you want to go, then we're going now," he said firmly.

"But—"

Tom didn't give you any time to finish your sentence when he turned back to the producer he was talking to. "I'm so sorry but we need to get going. It was nice meeting you sir. I'll have my agent send you the details. Thank you so much," Tom said, offering his hand out to which the man shook with a smile, not at all minding that their conversation got cut short.

And with that, Tom took your hand in his and swiftly but gently guided you out of the ballroom.

"You didn't have to leave with me," you muttered as you both made your way back to the elevators, thankful that your hotel room was in the same building.

"No, but I wanted to. The night was getting long anyway," Tom reassured with a squeeze of your hand.

You stayed silent on the way up and even after you're inside the room. Tom's frown could only deepen when you sat at the edge of the bed with a shaky breath.

"Sweetheart, what happened?" he asked as he locked the door. You ignored him completely, hands gripping tightly at the fabric of your dress, keeping your head down as you tried to keep your breathing steady and your raging thoughts at bay, but much to no use.

"Talk to me," Tom said softly, frown deep on his lips as he slowly moved over to your shaking form. He crouched down in front of you, hands landing on your knees as he searched for your eyes but all you did was hide your face behind your palms. "Darling," he tried again, but still, you didn't even bother looking up.

Tom took it upon himself to pry your hands gently away from your face and letting his fingers intertwine with yours. His heart broke when you looked at him with nothing but utmost sadness and hurt, tears running freely down your cheeks as you whispered,

"You deserve so much better."

"Okay, who the fuck told you that," Tom growled, but you only frowned deeply at his reaction because you knew, with one look in his eyes that his anger wasn't directed at you. It was at whoever planted that thought inside your head.

"No one—"

"Y/N," Tom warned.

"Nobody told me it directly. I just heard some girls in the bathroom saying how much you're way out of my league and how I looked like some assistant when I'm beside you and they are right Tom. I can't wear any designer clothes or any expensive dresses to look at least presentable when I'm with you. I can't match how handsome you are because I look nothing like those models or those actresses—"

"Darling, have you even seen yourself tonight?" Tom cut you off, shaking his head in disbelief as he furrowed his brows. "Have you seen how many guys I've been trying to wave off of you? Have you ever wondered why I've never let you go even in the slightest? Why I kept an arm around you or a hand on your back at all times?"

You shook your head no with a frown, not really getting where he was going with this.

"Babe, you stole the whole room! They were so drawn to you all the damn time like fucking moths to a flame and I was getting so fucking annoyed at them for always staring at you like that," Tom said through gritted teeth, closing his eyes for a moment to take a deep breath and calm himself before his gaze landed back on you. He flashed you a bright, genuine smile as he gave your hand a squeeze. "But I also felt so proud because fuck yeah, look at how fucking gorgeous my girlfriend is. Look at how lucky I am to have her with me and guess what? Get wrecked 'cause all you lot can do is stare at her while I get to hold her in my arms and call her mine."

You didn't have a chance to response when Tom suddenly stood up to his full height, pulling you with him and away from the bed as he walked backwards. You followed him with brows furrowed in confusion, but he only flashed you a charming grin.

"To be honest you're the one who's way out of my league, I mean look at you," Tom paused just as he stopped moving, stepping to the side until you were face to face with yourself in the floor length mirror. "Look how fucking beautiful you are! Those girls are just jealous because my god love, you make my fucking heart explode!" he exclaimed, gesturing towards your reflection in the mirror. You tilted your head at him with a pout, fresh sets of tears coating your eyes but for a different reason this time. Tom sighed as he moved back to stand in front of you, one hand landing on your hips as the other went on your cheek.

"I don't deserve someone better you know why?" he hummed, brown eyes boring into your own. "Because you are already the best girl I could ever have in my life." Tom pressed his forehead against yours, giving your hip a loving squeeze before he lifted his hand up so he could cup your face lovingly with both hands. "You are my best, most gorgeous and amazing girl with a heart of gold to match. I couldn't possibly find someone better than you my love and fuck whoever thinks otherwise," he finished, nothing but utmost sincerity coating his voice and swimming in his eyes, words doing nothing but make you heart grow ten times its size.

Your bottom lip trembled as you stared at him all teary eyed, leaning even closer until you were able to capture his lips in yours, to let him feel through the kiss just how grateful you are of him. Tom hummed at the feeling, his hands sliding down your bare arms until he rested them on the small of your back, welcoming your kisses as he pulled you even closer to him.

"I love you," you whispered against his lips, fingers getting lost in his styled hair, tugging at them playfully making him let out a soft groan.

"And I love you so much, darling," he muttered, giving your bottom lip a soft nibble before he suddenly pulled away. One you met his eyes again, that's when you saw how they were already a shade darker than before.

Tom shot you a wide smirk before he pulled away completely, walking around you until he stood right behind, one hand taking home on your waist as the other went to hold your chin gently, turning your head to look back in front so you were once again face to face with yourself, right in the mirror.

He met your eyes through the floor-length mirror, his grin wide and mischievous as he ran his fingers down your spine, goosebumps erupting on your skin. You suck in a breath as he took hold of the zip on your dress right as he sucked on that sweet spot on your neck he's already memorized. He pulled the zip down gently, the fabric going lose around your body as you kept eye contact with him through the mirror. Tom hooked his fingers on the straps of your dress, slowly pulling them off your shoulders and down your arms until it pooled at your feet, exposing you to the cold air of the room. With his voice deep and husky, Tom growled lowly against your ear,

"Now, enough talk and let me show you just how beautiful you are."

~~~

>> come say hi and send some in!

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[bluemusickid]

Hi! I hope you're doing well 🥰 Can you I request one where Steve breaks reader's arm or leg by mistake during training and has to take care of her afterwards? Definitely won't mind if some smut is added 😅 Thank you!!

OMFGGGG MY FAV WRITER SENT AN ASK ASDFGHJKL (Also full disclosure: this has been one of my kinks for a while :P)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader

Warnings: slow burn (just a tad), 18+, SMUTTTT, unprotected sex (don’t be silly, wrap your willy), did I mention NSFW? Read at your own risk.

A/N: I would like to thank @imdarkinme for sending in this AMAZING ask! She’s a doll and I’ve been a fan of her writing for so long!! I would also like to thank @donutloverxo for converting me to a Steve Stan loool. I wanted him to be a bit dark here, but in the end his dorky side won. :P Without further ado, I hope you enjoy!! Send in your requests here and you can join my taglist here (or you could just send an ask lmao)! Thanks!

I post my stuff only on AO3 and here, nowhere else. 

The Learning Curve

You groaned as you got up from the mat, yet again. It was dumb of you to ask Captain Rogers to train with you. As a new recruit, you’d obviously wanted to impress him; he was the leader of the Avengers after all. There was only one tiny problem you forgot to factor in: the man was a Super Soldier, while you were...not.

“Come on, get up! We still have two rounds to go!” a voice bellowed from above you.

You mentally cursed at the voice. You’d tried to not let it affect you, but like many others, you had a bit of a crush on the Captain. But it wasn’t solely because of his looks, it was more about his passion to help and save and to protect. He was always so passionate, it was hard to keep away(which was a fiercely guarded secret). You felt like Icarus, when you were with him.

Getting up, you tried to block his punches, while getting in a few yourself. It was impossible, the man was a champ. You saw your opening, however, when he seemed to be distracted by someone approaching him from behind you. Seeing this as a golden opportunity to catch him off guard, you threw a punch aiming for his face. Unfortunately, he blocked the punch and pushed you, to ward you off. It seemed as if he too, forgot that he was a Super Soldier, pushing you a bit too hard.

You screamed as you fell to the ground, twisting to save your face, your arm breaking your fall. Your suspicions were confirmed as you tried to move your arm but couldn’t. Steve heard you yelp and rushed to your side, carefully inspecting your injured appendage. You squealed as he touched your arm, the pain indescribable. Steve whispered his apologies a million times, trying to haul you up by your waist, in vain. Finally, he gave up and picked you up bridal style, like you weighed nothing.

You gasped, partially out of pain, but mostly out of surprise at the sudden move. 

“Umm...Cap..tain..I..can..walk..” you stuttered, unable to keep the pain out of your voice.

He looked into your eyes and smiled, shaking his head. Oh dear lord. This man truly was gorgeous. Nearing the MedBay, he slowly placed you on the bed, his mouth tantalisingly close to yours as he lowered you onto the surface. You never realised how blue his eyes were, which at the moment were filled to the brim with anxiety and some other emotion; which you couldn’t quite place your finger on. Deciding you were probably delirious from the pain, you tried to focus on what the doctor was telling you.

“...so you’ll have to be on constant bedrest for the next two weeks before we can check again to see if you need a rod put in.” 

“Err, I’m sorry doc, what?” you mumbled apologetically, embarrassed by your thoughts.

“As I was telling Captain Rogers, you seem to have a hairline fracture in your ulna, which could require support. You need to rest and take it easy for at least two weeks. Training will have to be put on hold, and I suggest you call a family member to take care of you in the meantime.” the doctor said, scribbling notes.

“Oh, that..won’t be necessary. I can do stuff on my own, I’ll be very careful.” you said with a grimace, not wanting to seem weaker in front of Steve.

“That’s not gonna happen.” Steve said, firmly. “She’ll stay in my quarters. It’s the least I can do after breaking her arm.”

You stared at him, a million things going through your head. You and him, in the confines of a room, alone. Oh no. This was going to be torturous in more way than one.

“Oh no no no, Captain. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t like to impose. Plus, I’m feeling better already! I’m sure it’s more than manageable. Please..I..I’ll be okay, really.” you rushed, pretty sure that your voice was betraying just how fast your heart was beating.

Steve smirked. “This isn’t up for debate. Plus, I’m sure it would be easier for the others to check up on you when we’re away on missions.” he said, taking the prescription from the doctor.

You winced as he helped you up from the bed, the warmth of his hand making you hyperaware about what your life was gonna be like for 2 weeks. You sighed. It was gonna be a loooong two weeks.

-------

You realised after a week that your worries had all been for naught. Steve was an excellent caretaker. He made sure you took all your medicines at the right time, ate properly and rested enough. He was also a thorough gentleman, always calling a lady nurse when you needed to take a shower or get dressed; really respected your boundaries. But you couldn’t deny the shift in his behaviour towards you. At first, you felt like you were reading into it too much, but then it started to get more noticeable. They were little things, but it meant so much. He would insist on having lunch with you, no matter if you were quiet or chatty; Steve always was there. He brought your favourite blanket from your chambers to make sure you felt more comfortable. At night, he would make sure you were comfortable, get you hot chocolate, maybe even sit next to you till you fell asleep. One time, he held your hand till you drifted off; but you were sure that you felt him leave a small peck on your cheek as you nodded off.

If you weren’t falling for him earlier, you sure as hell were now.

------

After hitting the two week mark, you went to the doctor again for a checkup. All seemed well, there was no need for a rod to be put in but the cast would have to stay on. Steve was there throughout the appointment, listening intently at everything the doctor said with his full focus. It was quite distracting and kinda hot, and you couldn’t help but sneak glances at him periodically. On one occasion, he caught your eye and grinned, catching you in the act. You wished the ground would swallow you up just then: this man fully well knew that you had a crush on him and was enjoying messing with you.

You nearly gasped as you felt his hand on your shoulder, guiding you to the lift. Something was different today. Steve seemed buoyant, which was very out of character for him.

“The nurse isn’t available today, she had some prior commitments. If it’s ok with you, I’ll be taking care of you tonight.” he said, softly. You gulped, his tone messing with your train of thought.

“Uh, that’s ok, I can manage things for a night. I’ve already imposed on you quite a bit and don’t want to create more of a hassle.”

Steve smiled. “Sweetheart, you’ve not been a hassle, trust me. It felt nice having you around, I enjoy your companionship. Just a few weeks more and you can get rid of me.” he said, with a mischievous grin. You groaned inwardly; this man was driving you nuts.

“Oh no, I really liked staying with you. You’re great company! I don’t think I want to get rid of you, ha.” you said in a flourish, mentally cursing yourself for being such a blabbering fool around him.

Steve looked at you, his eyes darkening. He stepped closer to you, opening his mouth to say something, but the elevator seemed to sense the tension rife in the air and opened at that exact moment. You both snapped out of the haze you were in with Steve beckoning you to his quarters, his hand resting softly on your back.

Back in your room, you realised you needed to take your nightly shower. You were about to call for the nurse, when you remembered that she wasn’t gonna come. Shit. You’d have to call Steve to help with your sling. Closing your eyes, you sighed before you walked to his room, praying to God that you would get through this. Just go in, get the brace off, and get out, you whispered to yourself. With that mantra in mind, you hesitantly knocked on his door. A muffled ‘come in’ reached you, and you timidly entered the lion’s den.

Steve was tinkering with the laptop, clearly engrossed in some work. You felt guilty disturbing him, but it was kind of an emergency. 

“Is everything ok?”

“Yes, I..just needed some help with my sling; I tried to take it off, but it’s not coming off. Can you..unfasten it? I’ll be out of your hair in no time..”

Wordlessly, Steve sauntered over to you, turning you around to face the wall. Softly, his fingers undid the clasp of the sling, pulling the straps off your neck, his fingers grazing over your skin gently. You jerked, surprised by the small currents you felt with these small touches. Turning you around, he helped you take your arm out of the sling, his hands accidentally brushing the sides of your breasts. You didn’t dare make eye contact with him; you were sure you would say or do something you would regret later on. 

“All done.” he whispered, his eyes not leaving yours. You realised he was merely inches away from your lips; the proximity driving you crazy.

“Thanks.” you mumbled, wanting to run out of the room.

“Are you going to bed? Do you need anything to drink?” 

“Yes, I was just gonna head to bed after my shower.”

“You can shower here. I’d be able to keep an eye on you then and you won’t have to worry about any mishaps. See? Win-win.” he said with a grin.

You were about to decline his offer but stopped when he held up his hand. “You need to stop thinking that you’re a burden on me. I like doing things for you, it makes me feel like I’m not totally alone. These two weeks have undoubtedly been one of the best weeks in my life. I like you, and I know you like me. I just want to show you how much I care for you in my own, peculiar ways.” he said, taking your hand in his, drawing patterns on your knuckles softly.

Your mind raced with all the information. You never knew Steve felt this way, he was always so taciturn. Your gaze flitted to his face, his eyes darkening the way they did in the morning. He didn’t need words to convey what his eyes said; he felt the same way you did about him.

You melted as he raised your hand to his lips, placing a kiss which felt like petals grazing your skin. Leaning down, his lips inched closer to yours, his breath tickling your face.

“Tell me if I should stop, and I will.” he whispered.

You waited a beat before making your decision. Raising your lips to his, you touched his lips slightly before murmuring, “don’t stop.”

And that was it. You were lost in the maelstrom of emotions that was Steve kissing you. It started off sweet, with Steve engulfing your lips within his, taking his time to make sure you were enjoying. It turned heated the moment you ran your fingers through his hair, gently tugging on it. Steve ran his tongue over you, begging for entrance. You moaned and opened your mouth, prompting him to unite his tongue with yours, as if to memorise every inch of you. You broke apart, the need for air greater than your desire. 

He picked you up and carried you to the bed, placing you on it carefully. Being extremely careful, he pulled off your tee, eyes widening as he took in your bare chest. Kneeling in front of you, he took off your sweatpants and your underwear, leaving soft but searing kisses at every inch of skin he exposed. You sharply inhaled, already feeling yourself get wet even though he hadn’t even touched you properly.

Lowering you to the bed tenderly, he made sure your arm was resting comfortably, placing a pillow underneath the appendage. Placing his hand next to your head, he kissed you deeply, pouring every emotion he felt into that kiss. You moaned as you felt his lips trail lower, leaving kisses along your neck, laving your pulse point. Moving lower, he kissed your breasts, leaving small bites along the way. Taking a swollen nub in his mouth, he sucked on it while massaging the other, prompting you to groan and run your uninjured hand through his hair, wanting him inside you.

While he moved his attention to your other breast, he trailed his fingers down your body, leaving goosebumps in their wake. He finally reached his destination, his fingers soft against your wet nether region. 

“Steve, please..I need you..” you whispered in urgency. His intrepid fingers found your swollen nub and circled; gently at first, and then with more intensity. Moving lower, his digits swirled around your wet lips, before plunging into your tight channel. You gasped as he began thrusting, his knuckles bumping along your front wall, hitting your sweet spot. You had to refrain from arching your back, instead relegating to pulling his head down for a kiss. He increased his speed, adding another finger once he sensed how close you were. You shrieked as you reached your peak, breaking apart from the kiss. 

As you opened your eyes, recovering from your orgasm, you saw Steve look at you, an unspoken question in his deep blue eyes. You nodded, cupping his cheek, running your thumb over his soft, soft skin. You don’t know what power he wielded over you, but it didn’t matter. You had no qualms being caught in this spell he wove.

Shedding his clothes, he returned to his place, widening your spread legs with his torso. Sitting back on his heels, he took in your body, his gaze running over every curve, every stretch mark, every beauty spot on your body. Taking his hard member in his hand, he gave a few strokes before lowering himself, running his nose against yours. He ran his tip along your wet folds before plunging into you in one swift move. You gasped and closed your eyes, your head falling back against the pillow. He gave you time to adjust to his size, your walls snug against him. After a moment, he began moving, careful to not move your arm. He started off slow, making sure you felt every inch of him. You hooked your legs around his hips, urging him to move faster. He took the hint, his pace increasing with each thrust. The coil in your belly was tightening and you could feel yourself hurtling towards completion for the second time. Running your hand along his back, your hand made it’s way to his ass, pushing down, begging him for more. Steve held himself up, looking deeply into your eyes, as he sped up his thrusts. You could feel him within you, each thrust hitting your weak spot over and over again.

You screamed his name as you reached your peak, your legs tightening around him; wrapping yourself around him like a vine. He was close too, his thrusts now becoming frantic as he was chasing his end. Your walls contracting around him set off his orgasm as he moaned, spilling every last drop of himself inside you. You both panted, as he dropped his head on your chest, trying to catch his breath. You both stayed like that for a while as you ran your fingers through his scalp, enjoying the feel of his weight on yours. 

There were many things to talk about, sure.

But for now, this was more than enough.

-----

Tags: @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @donutloverxo @worksby-d @gotnofucks @imdarkinme @chris-butt @ozarkthedog

[lunaekalenda]

Can I request a JeanxFem!reader where the reader is super friendly/clingy and isn't conscious of the effects it has on Jean? Like sometimes reader would just grab his hand or hold on to his arm, or even stand in front of him and put his arms around their shoulders? Reader ou does this to Jean bc they're best friends but he will never get used to it bc Jean loves them and is all "asdfghjkl" everytime it happens. But then one day reader stops doing this stuff because someone told her Jean likes them but ONLY bc they look similar to Mikasa, which breaks the Reader's cute lil heart. Angst but fluff at the end please!

hi! of course!! i hope you like it! <3 sorry if i got too fluffy at the end :’)

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❁ jean x female!reader

❁ canonverse

❁ a/n: i didn’t want to make annie like a “villain” but she’s just being really honest with what she thinks about it, she’s not trying to bother her!

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"Jean!" you yell. He smiles at you once he found from where your voice comes, and you run to hug your best friend. His tall body gives you difficulties to reach his neck, but he leans closer to you, his big hands on your waist. His heart flutters happily when he feels your warmth closer to him. 

“How was your training?” he asks. You tangle your arm with his, starting to walk calmly towards the dorms. 

When you entered here, on the military, you wanted to punch him. How he was always feeling superior. You wanted to punch him so bad.

But, after the first battle, where some unlucky friends passed away, he changed abruptly. He understood the pain of the more weak ones, and didn’t vacillate to take risky decisions in due to help the mission. He was made to be a leader, and you two worked hand by hand in the same squad. Thats how, quietly, you started to notice how funny and sweet he is, even when he tries to cover it with his prideful façade. But, since you two got really close, you can even difference what he is feeling, even when he tries so desperately to hide it.

Or so do you think.

One day, when you two were training, Mikasa passed by, following Eren. Jean got his eyes fixed on her black hair.

“You like Mikasa, don’t you?” Connie told him, joking. 

“I-I like her hair, no-o more.” He says. In that times, he was your friend, but you weren’t that close. 

Surprisingly, the more friends you became, the more strange you felt. Why did your heart a flip every time he smiled at you? Why did you felt bad when Mikasa asked something to him?

Maybe you were starting to feel something for him?

“You’re totally into Kirstein.” Petra told you. You enjoyed talking to her, she’s really nice. 

“Shut up, Petra, or else I’ll have to tell you how you look when Capt...”

“Got it!” she interrupted you and you both laughed. It was a quiet afternoon, and you two where sitting on the lake. “I think you should go for him.” she said. 

“He isn’t into me.” you answered. “He likes Mikasa.” Petra looked to the lake.

“Who knows, maybe he does feel the same...”

Petra is really positive, unless you talk about her. Then, she says she has zero opportunities.But, you didn’t want to break your special bond with Jean. That’s why you tried to keep things in a friendship, ignoring your feelings for so long.

“It was fine, yep.” you say. “But I’m hungry.” Your belly confirmes it. He lets out a little laugh.

“Let’s go and eat something first, then.” You smile and, letting go his arm, you tangle your fingers with his, walking with his hand on yours. He blushes a bit. “By the way, tonight we have free time. Do you want to hang?” Today, the Captains of the Squads gave you all free time, celebrating that you all survived another expedition yesterday. 

“Sure.” you pull him softly, his hand caressing yours in an unconscious way while you two walk towards the cantina.

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You feel the cold wind against your skin and wet hair while you walk to the encounter point you agreed with Jean earlier. You found Annie walking back to the dorms.

You and Annie haven’t talked that much, specially since her introverted nature finds your outgoing one terrible.

“Hi, Annie.” you say. She looks at you.

“If you’re searching Jean, he’s talking with Mikasa near Eren’s dorm. Just in case.” She speaks. You maybe looked concerned or down, because she looked at you for a long time. “You know you don’t have opportunities with him, right? He’s not the type of boy to fall in love with.” She says. You look at her back, kinda confused of the words she just said. “He thought he liked you, I’m sure he was confused. But then he realized you look so much like Mikasa, so he just likes the way you look like her. Never thought of it?”

“I do not look like her.” You say. 

“The same black hair that Jean loves. That’s enough for him to remind of her every time he looks at you. She’s out of his league, but maybe you...” Maybe she’s right. After all, he loves Mikasa’s black long hair. She cut it, you still have long hair. But, is all of this the truth? 

“Y/N!” Jean calls you from the place you accorded. Annie waves her hand before disappearing, going back to her dorm.

You walk towards Jean without your usual clingy ways. You walk silently, the sweater hugging your body and your gaze low. Jean is aware of your change of attitude. He gets concerned. What did he do to upset you? Maybe you don’t want to see him again. “Are you okay?” he asks, once you’ve reached him. You nod and fake a smile.

“Annie told me you were talking to Mikasa, so I decided to wait there. I didn’t want to bother.”

“You should had call me, dummy!” he says, colliding his shoulders with yours, playing. “You never bother me, y/n.”

His hazel eyes search any type of reaction on yours, but he only gets your gaze on the floor again. He stops walking and turns you to face him. “Hey, it’s everything okay?” He asks. He has lowered his voice and his tone is way more concerned. You don’t know if his kindness makes you feel good or bad. “Y/N?” He asks again. He just needs to know you’re fine, he needs to hear that nothing happened to you. Maybe, he thinks, you’re just upset with him for some reason he can’t think of. 

“I’m fine.” You’re not. You’ve been binge thinking about what Annie said to you, and you ended believing that maybe that’s true. That you’re just a Mikasa impostor on his heart.

“You’re not fine.” He says. Your skin feels electricity when he holds your hand, trying to avoid you from walking away. He searches your eyes once more, but now, they’re full of tears. His eyebrows move in a worrying expression. “What happened?” He asks. His tone is now sweet, trying to calm you.

“Well, now I know why you always pat my hair.” you say. At the end, the logic Annie followed is totally right, at least in your brain. “It is like touching Mikasa’s, right?”

His expression is now extremely confused. What are you doing bringing up Mikasa in a conversation that has nothing to do with her?

“Mikasa’s?” he asks. You wipe your tears with your hand quickly.

“You liked her when she entered, so probably you keep liking her. And my hair looks exactly like hers. Are you using me?” You ask. Your brain thought all of this in one second, this was kinda messy and you don’t know exactly what is happening. Jean is as confused as you are, he doesn’t know how he made a mistake like that. Make you think he’s in love with Mikasa when he’s in love with you. 

“Listen, Y/N...” he says. This wasn’t the confession scenario he built up in his head, but he needs to clarify things now, before this weird conversation ends with you two ending your friendship. "I did like Mikasa. I liked her when we entered, yes. But it was just a platonic love. We're friends. The point here..."

"I'm your best friend, Jean." you say. "You can tell me if you like her, I'll be okay with that. I gave up on you on any way."

He looks surprised. You liked him? You liked him all this time? As he liked you?

“What?” he asks. “Gave up?”

“I liked you, Jean Kirstein. A lot. My heart was out of my fucking chest every time you hugged me and I couldn’t think straight if your body was behind mine. But you were probably thinking about Mikasa and how beautiful she is...”

“No.” his face is serious when he looks at you. Both of his hands go to your cheeks, taking with his thumbs a couple tears that run fast down to your chin. “Because I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” he says. Your teary eyes look at his, searching a joke or something like that, but his eyes are more serious than ever. “I knew it was maybe a one-sided love, because I thought you’ll never be interested in me. Every time you acted clingy, my heart was about to explode of happiness. I feel so good when you’re around me, y/n...” he passes one lock of your hair behind your ear. “I knew i was in love  because I didn’t care it was one-sided, if you were happy, I was happy. That’s why I got so concerned today. Even knowing maybe it was my fault, I couldn’t see you looking sad. I couldn’t. Because I’m still so madly in love with you, I care about you and your well.being so much that I felt the pain of your eyes myself. Sorry for making you feel that way.”

There’s now a silence between you. Jean is probably giving you space to understand all he said, and your brain is having an emergency reunion. He does like you, and you’re still so in love with him... After all, all that happened was because a misunderstanding from you. You feel so silly now...

“Sorry.” you say. “I misunderstood things.”

“But that’s because I never told you clearly what I felt.”

“It’s all my fault.” you try to convince him that he’s wrong, that you were the one confused. “Now I probably lost all the opportunities to be with you and also our friendship.”

“Don’t be that drama queen, dummy.” he says, his voice a low whisper. “I think we just need to honestly tell each other what do we feel now.” He says. 

Telling the other? Telling what?

“I’ll start, then.” he says, “I fell in love with my clingy best friend and I’m still so in love I wouldn’t mind dating her.”

His words made your heart beat faster. After all, where you hiding feelings that were probably reciprocate? 

Probably.

“Come on, don’t be shy!” He laughs sweetly when he sees your blushed cheeks. His thumb makes soft circles on them. “I don’t know if I’m allowed to say this now, but you’re so fucking pretty...” his gaze gets lost in your face, admiring every single part of it.

“I also still love you, but don’t let your ego raise.” he laughs and so you do. Now, you can look at his face freely, how his hazel eyes have such an intense gaze...

“So, now that this is arranged, why don’t we act as if this never happened and you let me confess in a proper way, hm?”

“Sounds great.”

[mah-gah-lee]

You’re such a bitch - (Charlie Gillespie x reader)

Word Count: 2486 Request: no, again @jatpsmut​ inspired me with his fic “What Happens in Hawaii Stays in Hawaii - Charlie Gillespie x Reader (SMUT - 18+)”. I asked her if I could use the Hawaii idea and now I am writing this!

However, some details change from the original fic:

“Charlie and y/n haven't been best friends since they were kids, but from the first season of jatp. y/n is an additional actor on Julie and the Phantoms, also a dancer. Charlie didn't confess his feelings to y/n in Hawaii.

The only thing I got from the idea of @jatpsmut​ is the fact that something happened in Hawaii. So thank you to her for writing this incredible fic, without it this could not happen Summary: You and Charlie were best friends and roommates in LA. One evening, you heard it with a girl, the next morning, everything is awkward, bitchy and everything changes. Warnings: mention of sexual activities - language disclaimer: I don't know Charlie or his family personally or what his life is like. All you will read in this "x reader" is from my imagination. My point is not to invade Charlie's privacy. I don't want to offend him or offend anybody else in his life (family, potential girlfriend…). All of this is not the reality

 Tagged: @asdfghjkl-fanfics​ @standingtalllove​ @lukeys-giggle​ @happinessinthedarkesttimes​ if you want to be tagged in my next fic let me know ! 

--- 

You try to focus on the TV show you were watching, but obviously your roommate had company. And that company was way too loud in your opinion. You were rolling your eyes in annoyance when suddenly your phone vibrates, displaying the blonde head of your second best friend. If there was one thing you miss since you came back to live to Los Angeles, it was obviously living with this sarcastic character. Vancouver seemed so far away to you. You picked up your phone and Owen's face appeared.

 “Hi sweetie.” Owen told you with a smile “Oh, hey… Why that face?” he clearly noticed your annoyance. "Hi O." you said before complaining "Ugh, I miss living with you in Vancouver so much" "Yeah me too. We had so much fun. But hey, I'm sure we'll have a season two." "I hope so much"

You were an extra cast member on Julie and the Phantoms, you also were a dancer on the first season, just as Tori. You wished so much Owen was right about Jatp season 2 renew but Netflix seemed to enjoy making you patient. But the coronavirus had also literally messed up all your plans. However, you were angry, some series came out long after yours and got renewed while yours stayed on hold. It was clear that fans of the series as much as you were just waiting for the renewal of season two.

A moan came out of Charlie's bedroom with the sound of a bouncing mattress, you rolled your eyes again, groaning with a sort of anger.

"Jesus Christ ..." you complained "Wait, y/n, what's that sound?" “You know what I miss most about living with you in Vancouver O’? Rule #3. " “Rule #3? Rule #3" he seemed to think about what you said when he finally realized "Oh ... Oh! Rule #3! Wait.. Oh my God! Is Charlie being with a chick right now? ” He asked you with stupefaction. "Oh I wish you were wrong"

A laugh came out from you best friend mouth and you gave him a killer look through the screen, making him laugh harder. When you were in Vancouver, living with two boys forced you to set limits and rules for living. The first was; everyone cleans up their own mess. Second, the housework takes turns. Third rule: no one-night stand allowed in the flat. Surprisingly as it may seem, this rule had been followed very well by everyone. But at the same time, the boys' schedules really didn't make time to bring anyone home, and then after all, they were professional. But as soon as Charlie returned from his parents' quarantine, he forgot the existence of this rule, as if it did not apply to Los Angeles. It wasn't like he brought a different girl home every night, or even every month. It might have been the second or third time since you had moved in. But this situation embarrassed you more than you might have thought.

“Owen, don't make fun of me. I've been hearing them for about an hour now. " "Poor you. Now you understand how I felt in Hawaii" he smirked at you. "Wait, what did you say?" you asked him, in shocked. "Oh please y/n ... you heard me clearly"

Of course, you had heard what he said, but you were in shock at the revelation, so you needed confirmation. This story was supposed to be a secret between you and Charlie. The fact that Owen mentioned it could only assume two things.

"Did you hear us in Hawaii?" “I was in the room next door! Of course, I heard you. It's not like you and Charlie are the quietest couple ever having sex ... " "It seems Charlie is the loudest one…" you said, referring to your best friend having sex in the next bedroom. "Oh darling please, I can remind you of what you said that night. You two gave me nightmares." "Please don't. I feel so embarrassed right now"

Last year you went to Hawaii with several cast members and Kenny. A booking error forced you to share a bed with Charlie. It seemed that sleeping with a girl seemed more adequate than two boys sleeping in the same bed. Charlie and Owen had avoided that possibility the second the problem had arisen. One thing leading to another, after a few strong cocktails, you and the dark-haired boy had ended up having a horny night. The shame caused the next day made you both never talk about it again and "what happened in Hawaii will stay in Hawaii". You didn’t know that Owen heard you and it seems that boy can keep a secret for so long now.

The problem was that that night you realized that you felt more than an attraction to your roommate. It went beyond friendship or mere sexual tension at the sight of this Canadian. You wanted every aspect of what you might have experienced with Charlie and more: the laughs, the funny times, the lots of talking, the quiet times watching a movie or just playing Nintendo Switch, the sex. But you also wanted the PDAs, the feelings, just being with him like his girlfriend. But the actor was totally oblivious to your feelings for him, and you didn't even want to try to make him understand it on his own. You just created a shell for yourself and buried your feelings deep within yourself.

 “I don’t understand y/n. Why didn’t you tell him your feeling?” “Because I know he doesn’t love me back, O.” “Oh come on! You two are the most stubborn people I ever met!”

Again, for the third time tonight, you've rolled your eyes. You were pretty sure Charlie didn't feel the same way you did. Since Hawaii, neither of you had stepped forward towards each other, but sometimes your behaviors showed that you were more than friends. Another moan was heard from Charlie’s room and Owen's face on the screen was memorable. His eyes were wide and his cheeks were red.

"Okay, y/n. I'm sorry but I don't want to keep talking to you and hear my other best friend hooking up at the same time ..."

 You laughed and he hung up the phone not forgetting to say goodbye. You tried to focus on your screen again, your headphones being way too far away for you to catch them. Minutes later you finally heard the distinctive sound of Charlie's orgasm and knew you were finally going to be able to sleep.

 …

The next morning you woke up with a high level of fatigue. You casually walk to the kitchen to make coffee. While you were pouring yourself a cup of this much-desired black liquid, a person entered the kitchen.

 "Who the fuck are you?"

You raised an eyebrow, bringing your mug to your lips. The girl looked at you with a disgusted face.

"Roommate, darling. Not nice to meet you." "Why the hell are you wearing his shirt?"

A smirk appears on your lips, far too happy that she asked the question. When you were in Vancouver, it wasn't surprising to see you wearing the boys' t-shirts, although you had a preference for Charlie's, there were times when you wore Owen's. The boys never complained about this mania and you had to continue when you moved to Los Angeles with Charlie. The scene was pretty funny, you were there drinking your coffee in a t-shirt borrowed from your roommate while his conquest from last night stared at you in disgust, decked out in another Charlie t-shirt. You took a look at the Looney Tunes t-shirt you were wearing and just shrug your shoulders.

 “Old habits.” You simply said. "Yeah, you're gonna have to break this habit."

You laughed disdainfully. You didn't like this girl. Not because it was the conquest of your best friend for whom you had blatant romantic feelings. But rather because she had this condescension and believed that spending a night with Charlie gave her every right.

 "What makes you think that, sweetie?"

 You leaned against the kitchen counter, your posture offhand, a smirk on your lips. You weren't used to being such a bitch, but the girl in front of you pissed you off. And it was only nine in the morning.

 "Well, hello, I spent the night with Charlie." "Oh yeah sure, but that doesn't mean you're dating him." "Charlie is a great guy"

She wasn't wrong. Charlie wasn't heartbroken but he was still human and a twenty-two-year-old boy. Just looking at her you knew your best friend hadn't chosen her for a serious relationship with her. The little conversation you were having with her now confirmed that he couldn't date her. Another smirk spread across your lips as she looked at you with disdain again.

 "Who the fuck do you think you are? You are nowhere near his level" she said to you

This time, you couldn't help but laugh sarcastically. Yeah, she really pissed you off. Physically, she was everything Charlie didn't like about a potential girlfriend: big breasts, much bigger than him, slightly shallow. Oh but she had a fucking ass and maybe that was why he had chosen her. Her whole body reflected Charlie's choice for a one-night stand, but not the ideal girlfriend.

 "Oh honey, I'm nobody, but neither are you. Listen. You were just a one-night stand and me? Me, I'll still be here in his apartment with his t-shirts on when he brings you home, telling you that it was cool but that it will not go further. I will always be there ... "

Charlie woke up and headed straight for the kitchen. He greeted her conquest with a nod, giving her a hello. Instinctively, he approached you and put his hand on your waist before placing a soft kiss on your cheek. Charlie was tactile, it was his language of love. You couldn't help but smirk at the girl, giving her a victorious look. The actor looked at your outfit and a smile appeared on his lips.

 "So that's where it was! I thought I lost it in the Galapagos." he was referring to his looney tunes t-shirt

Your attention fell on Charlie and you smiled happily at him. You cheekily handed your cup of coffee.

"Coffee?" "Hell, yeah"

He grabbed your cup and took a long sip, leaving his conquest almost nonexistent to his eyes. The girl was so pissed off that she seemed to be boiling. She cleared her throat, annoyed.

 "Hmm, I'm going to go" she said. "Oh wait, let me have lunch and I'll bring you back if you want." "It won't be necessary."

You bit the tip of your tongue, amused, far too happy to hide it. Charlie's conquest returned to his room to get dressed. Your roommate turned to you and gave you a questioning look.

"y/n, what did you do?" "Nothing. We were happily getting know each other. I'm surprised at your choice, by the way" "Are you getting revenge?" "Get revenge for what?" "Since ... Hawaii, you've scared all the girls I've brought back." "Did I scare them? Stop, I haven't acted any differently than usual." “You scared them away,” he repeated. "Oh come on, Charlie, please, it's not like you're going to date them."

 He pulled away from you with a look of dismay. You were not wrong, he had never called back the girls he had brought back here, he did not intend to call back the one who was currently in his room. In fact, the only person he really wanted to spend time with was you. But since Hawaii, you seemed to be okay with never mentioning your night together again. This Canadian boy has been in love with you for months, maybe even years now. It quickly fell for you when you were in Vancouver.

"You're right. But I could have ..." he finally confessed "It's wrong. You know it's wrong Charlie, I know you, I'm your best friend. These are not the kind of girls you date. "Yeah… I couldn't date any of them. They just aren't you." He said, his last sentence ending in a whisper before hastening to take a sip from your cup of coffee.

You were paralyzed. Did he really just say what you've been dreaming of hearing for months? Did he just drop it like a bomb, in the middle of a morning conversation between sips of coffee?

“Wait, what?” “Nothing” “It wasn’t nothing, Charlie, you said something” “Nothing important” he repeats “Did you just say that if you didn’t date those girls it’s because they weren’t me?” “You seems to hear voices” “Charlie, I’m not joking… Did you say that?!” “Maybe” “Oh fuck, you’re an idiot!” “I am a..”

You snatched the cup of coffee from her hands and hurriedly put it on the counter. Never mind about the stains on the floor, you will clean up later. You didn't want to miss a second of this possibility. You wrapped your arms around Charlie's neck before resting your lips on his. Your best friend seemed surprised at first so much but quickly relaxed and wrapped his own arms around your waist as your lips moved to give the kiss more tender. The situation was most strange and funny; you were kissing your best friend, running your fingers through his long brown hair. You had to admit that even though you had found him attractive with his Luke's look but you couldn't imagine Charlie without that impressive mass of hair. Luke had short hair, Charlie had long hair. End of the discussion.

So, you were kissing your roommate, making up for lost time while in his room, a girl he had fucked the night before gathered her things. Charlie's conquest stepped out to head for the exit. You broke the kiss making Charlie growl in protest.

"I'm not showing you where the door is." you said. "whore .." the chick whispered.

Charlie stepped away from you and brought his one-night stand to the door, apologizing. He wasn't that kind of boy to go from girl to girl and the circumstances were really strange. The girl left, not without forgetting to curse him. When Charlie walks into the kitchen, you were sitting on the counter, a smirk on your face.

"You're such a bitch y/n" “It's my revenge for keeping me awake last night.” 

His gaze was sly, his smile was mischievous and you knew he was going to find a phrase worthy of the fucking boy he could be. 

"I can keep you awake for a while if you want." “A date wouldn't be too complicated, Charlie. Please be a gentleman. "You can count on me"

He gave you a softer look and you wrapped your arms around his neck again before kissing him. Ultimately, not everything that happened in Hawaii has to be restricted to Hawaii.

[sunarc]

welcome back baby !! i’m happy to see u post again and i think this ‘welcome back’ event is the cutest thing ever, which is why i would like to participate hehe

so here is basically the info for my submission :

- i would most likely wear this outfit (+ platform boots), cause the style is similar to my own !

- euhm let’s say i’m gonna be realistic here and i’ll probs be a bit shy at first, not really interacting with anyone, until the person who is joining me convinces me to socialize. then i first take a glass of whatever is being served (hopefully something with alcohol, to get more loose) and then i’ll start to socialize. i don’t really know my drinking limit yet, so i’ll probs end up being drunk and acting all ‘cute’ but also protective with the person i’m with lmao (am sorry if this is to specific and all asdfghjkl)

- my preference is someone from haikyuu who encourages me to have fun, but also calls me out on getting drunk. is protective and caring. helps me through the night basically lmao. i prefer male, but honestly female is fine too

anyways i’m very excited to see who u will match me with !

Thank you for coming to the even babe! You look gorgeous I hope you have fun!

RIN SUNA

A hand came up behind you as you stared out at all the dancing people. You jumped from the sudden feeling and turned to see a tall handsome man staring down at you with a half smile.

“Sorry didn’t mean to scare you, you just seemed a little distant.”he chuckled  His voice was soft and sweet as he handed you a drink from the table filled with glasses of champagne.

“Dinking tends to loosen people up i hear” he smirked at you as he took a sip from his own drink.

“Suna by the way” he held out his hand for you to shake smiling that same soft smile that had you captivated.

You reached out to place your hand in his and within seconds your heart fluttered, feeling a sensation of sparks between your touch.

The feeling seemed to be mutual as you noticed the small blush that began to cover Suna’s cheeks

Your voice came out smaller than what you had intended as you attempted to gain your composure shaking his hand.

“Y/N”

How You End The Night:

You leaned into Suna’s arms as he walked you out towards the exit wrapped in his jacket.The quiet night was filled with your drunken giggles and the stern but soft reminder from Suna not to get too drunk next time.

“I said have a drink it’ll loosen you up, not to drink the table” he laughed as he held you close to him allowing you to breath in his scent. 

You giggle at the comment and made a failed attempt roll your eyes that ended up being a long uncoordinated blink.

“You’re a cute drunk Y/N you know that?” he asked leaned down close to you .

Your breath stilled as he leaned close to you brushing stray hairs from your pink tinted face. 

“Your ride is here” he said pulling away  helping you into the car.

“Your jacket!” you yelled before he closed the door allowing the car to pull off.

You leaned back in the car dipping your hands into the pockets of his jacket suddenly feeling a piece of paper. You slipped it out unwrapping the paper

Give me a call when you sober up pretty baby

xxx-xxx-xxxx

— Rin

[ateezmakemeweep]

you’re taking reaction/imagine requests? asdfghjkl um- can we have an imagine with ateez teasing and embarrassing you in front of your classmates during your online classes during quarantine? i know it sounds lame zxcbxm

❥ kim hongjoong

“so i was thinking i could do this part and maybe you could do-“

hongjoong opened the door to your shared bedroom, making you look up from your computer and narrow your eyes at your boyfriend. you subtly shake your head at him before continuing to speak to your project partners. 

he had heard you complain for the past week about how they hadn’t been doing anything, that their powerpoint slides and essay portion still wasn’t done despite the deadline being tomorrow. he raised an eyebrow at the girl’s nasally voice saying that she still didn’t quite understand what she had to do. 

he could only listen to you for so long try to explain it to her, voice high and shaky the way it always is when you’re uncomfortable; he knows how much you prefer working alone, that group work and public speaking are the two worst aspects for you in school. 

it’s why he prances his way over to your desk as you look into the camera, only sensing his presence when he leans over your shoulder and places his arm down on the desk. “are these the girls who weren’t doing shit?” he asks, mouth in your ear but the words loud enough for everyone to hear. your cheeks flame and you push him away from the desk, stuttering out an apology as you glare at hongjoong who’s looking at you from across the room. 

embarrassment and all, though, it must’ve hit a nerve in them because when you checked back at the document a few hours later, after yelling and scolding hongjoong for a good thirty minutes, everything was completed. 

❥ park seonghwa

you had told him to stay out of the camera. that you would stay in the living room with him but that he couldn’t make a sound or have his presence known. 

and it’d been working until your teacher called on you to answer a question, his voice hard and commanding the way all of your classmates have grown used to. everyone had just thought the man hated you all, his blunt way of speaking and loud, booming tone scaring the shit out of all of you for the first few weeks of class.

you came to learn that’s just how he was, a severe case of tough love that some long-time professors just harbor after dealing with loudmouth college kids. but when seonghwa heard the man harshly call your name, his head looked up from his phone and he narrowed his eyes; he didn’t like someone talking to you like that. 

“can you give us your thoughts since you’ve just been sitting there with a stupid look on your face.” 

he isn’t able to see the small smirk on your face at the professor’s words, instead throwing his phone aside and poking your arm gently. 

“who the fuck is he talking to like that?” 

your eyes widen as you immediately mute your sound, pushing seonghwa back and shaking your head at him. “seonghwa, are you crazy!?” your laptop is turned away so your classmates and professor don’t see you and your boyfriend talking back and forth, the crazy overprotective man next to you saying he doesn’t care who it is, no one’s allowed to say shit like that to you. 

“he doesn’t mean it in a bad way, he’s just like that!” but when seonghwa shakes his head and deems that’s completely unnecessary, you take your laptop and stomp off toward the bedroom. you ignore the call of seonghwa’s voice before you close the door, warning him through gritted your teeth he better not follow you. 

when you turn your camera back on, your cheeks are warm and embarrassment floods through you at the smirk on your teacher’s lips and the curious looks of your classmates. 

“your boyfriend’s not gonna beat me up, is he?”

❥ jeong yunho

you were listening to the professor’s lecture with your feet in yunho’s lap, the boy quietly doing his own studies as he listened to music through his headphones. 

the video session was scheduled for an hour and a half, looking at the time in the corner to reveal only forty minutes have passed. you let out a sigh, resting your head on your hand as you do everything in power to pay attention to the professor’s monotone voice. 

yunho looks up and sees the bored expression on your face, pausing his music but remaining nonchalant as he moves his gaze back to his textbook. but just as he hears you start to yawn, he moves his long finger to your foot and scratches up the bottom of your sock-covered skin.

and thank god your mic is muted because you jump and yelp at the ticklish feeling and your laptop falls over into the couch cushion, your squeaky “yunho!” followed by his deep chuckle making you smack him playfully as you adjust yourself again. 

you notice a few of your classmates smirking and hope it has nothing to do with your little mishap, squinting at yunho as he continues to laugh at you. when the teacher announces it’s time for a class discussion, you go to move your feet but he grabs your ankle, a pout on his face as he promises not to do it again. 

but you missed the way his pointer and middle finger were crossed behind his thigh, the mischievous boy waiting until you started talking to scratch his nail under the bottom of your foot. 

“and i think that’s something really import-ANT…in this lesson,” you say, the way you jump making him snort. you kick him in the side before sitting up, apologizing to your professor before you attempt to continue your intellectual discussion. 

❥ kang yeosang

you thought it was lucky that your class time matched up with yeosang’s practice time, a quiet peaceful hour and a half for you to sip your coffee and really pay attention to the lecture. 

but since you were in your room, you didn’t hear the front door or the sound of shoes hitting the floor. you only became aware of your boyfriend at the same time as your whole class, your bedroom door pushing open and yeosang jumping to belly flop onto the bed directly behind you. 

“hi, baby! shit, i am so sweaty, i can’t believe-“

“uh, yeosang-“ you try to say but the boy only takes a heavy breath and continues to talk, going on about how difficult the new choreography is and how if he doesn’t start working out hard, it’s gonna be the death of him. and you love that he’s telling you all of this, you really do, but you’re also not ignorant of the fact that your entire call has turned silent in amusement and fascination at yeosang’s cute rambling. 

“why are you sitting over there, can’t you just lay with me so i can-“

“yeosang, please stop talking,” you beg him quietly, the panic in your voice causing him to look up; your cheeks are burning and you look about ready to burst out into awkward laughter, the boy’s face dropping when he sees about 25 boxes of random faces staring at him. 

“oh-oh my god! oh my, god! i’m so sorry, i’m just gonna- why wouldn’t you tell me!” he frantically runs out of the room, your own hand covering your face because it’s not even like he gave you a chance. 

“i’m sorry,” you say to your class, your pink cheeks causing your professor to smile and shake her head, carrying on with the lesson like you and your boyfriend aren’t gonna hide under the covers in embarrassment for the rest of the day over this. 

❥ choi san

your teacher didn’t require sound during lectures but she liked to make sure everyone was up and awake for the eight a.m class, always asking you guys to leave your cameras on so she can see you’re “attentive and alert.”

and usually you didn’t mind but today san was fast asleep so you had your headphones in, your camera turned away from your bed and facing the bright window as you tried your hardest not to nod off right then and there. 

you didn’t think you woke san when you snuck out from under his arm but you found that you were sadly mistaken, just twenty minutes into the lecture his whiny morning voice starting. 

“baby….come back to bed,” he mumbled into the pillow, a smirk on your lips as you look over at him. his one eye peeks open and he sees you sitting at the desk in front of your laptop, wearing his shirt and a pair of shorts with knee high socks that makes him all too desperate and needy to have you back in bed with him. 

you watch his eyes rake over you and a pout make its way on his face, holding his arm out as he whines out your name. “soon, san, i’m almost done,” you tell him, even though it’s a lie and you hope he’ll fall back asleep within the next few minutes

but he waits for all about five before he gets up, concentrating on writing notes down with the professor’s voice in your ear that you miss the way he shuffles toward you. it’s not until he wraps his arms around you from behind and buries his face in your neck that you realize he’s here, your eyes shooting to the camera and cheeks flushing before raising it to the ceiling. 

“san! my whole class just saw that!” you squeal, the way he pulls your neck back to kiss your lips proving he’s completely unbothered by the fact; he just wants you back in the warm bed, who cares about school?

❥ song mingi

“guys, you have to be quiet!” your roommate tells the boys, “y/n’s on a video chat with her class and-”

mingi, in a burst of excitement to finally see you after being apart for a week, ignores the girl’s words and bursts right into your room. his deep, happy yelp of your name and excited waves causes you to snap your head back and smile immediately at him; your heart softens at the way he’s bouncing like a giant child. 

you return a small wave before nodding toward the door, holding up your two palms and wiggling your fingers to indicate ten more minutes. but the boy just doesn’t get it, making his way over to you before he stops and sees a whole laptop of people staring at him. 

he looks at you in surprise, like he wasn’t already warned that you were doing this, before jumping to the side and waiting politely in your bean bag chair. 

you turn back around and have to fight the smiling desperate to make it’s way on your pink cheeks, ignoring the way your friend in the class starts private messaging you asking who the cute boy behind you was. 

❥ jung wooyoung

“why’s your camera off, y/n?”

your eyes narrow at the obnoxiously familiar voice coming through your laptop speakers, shaking your head as you do your best not to curse him out. 

given that your real class time is over two hours, your professor allows for a fifteen minute break where usually everyone either turns off their cameras to eat or has one big chaotic chat, usually led by no other than 

“wooyoung, shut up,” you snap when you can’t take it anymore, his nonstop questioning and high pitched giggle piercing right through your eyes. 

“why don’t you say it to my face?” he counters and you can just hear the smirk in his voice. you leave your computer and stomp out of your bedroom and down the hall, kicking open the door to see the boy himself sitting in front of his laptop with a shit eating grin on his face. 

“we are never taking another class together again!”

❥ choi jongho

“any last minute questions?”

“oh, um yes!” you reluctantly speak up, hating to ask in the first place and especially now over this new type of video chat set up. “about the project,  should we be using apa format or-”

“goodbye, baby, goodbye!” 

your mouth drops open and heat immediately creeps on your face, jongho walking past you with headphones in as he sings and dances like there’s no one around. but there’s about thirty of you around, his singing piercing through the speakers of every single one of your classmates as they watch him shimmy and shake across the room.

he continues his singing until he closes the door to the bathroom and you don’t even think he noticed you sitting in your desk at the corner, an awkward laugh threatening to bubble out of your mouth as you try to regain your composure. 

“i’m so sorry,” you blurt out, cheeks pink as you shake your head and try to ignore the giggles coming from your classmate when, even from the bathroom, they can hear jongho singing his heart out.

[fierysafrina]

Vena Amoris | part 3 of Broken Bonds

Fandom: Obey Me! Rating: General Word Count: 2.670 Genre: Hurt | Angst | Drama Summary: It’s Lucifer, who makes the first step and you’re not sure how to feel about it. Notes: There’s gonna be one more part. I promise. One more. I’m just gonna leave this here and disappear asdfghjkl

The first two parts can be read here: PART 1 and PART 2

You don't see them, but you can feel their presence. You don’t know why it calms you. From sleepless nights and nightmares, you could finally sleep without the help of Celestial herbs and sorcerer’s magic. You should be worried, really, yet you can’t bring yourself to demand them to leave, to leave you alone and never return. You’re not that confident, so unsure, knowing they would find another way to watch over you.

On the other hand, you feel slightly glad. You know you were selfish for taking up their time, but at least Simeon, Solomon and Luke visited you frequently. You know it was wrong and that they had important things to do, but you couldn’t help but look forward to their presence in your small house. In those five years you spent grieving for your parents and trying to get better from breaking seven pacts at once, you grew quite close to all three. Especially Simeon.

It was Simeon’s stay exactly when Lucifer decided to approach you.

The sudden tension between the angel and demon doesn’t go unnoticed by you as all three of you are sitting on a terrace behind your house. You're staring at your garden instead, completely ignoring Simeon and Lucifer, who haven’t spoken a single word.

Unable to bear the silence, you soon close your eyes and let out a silent sigh. Turning towards Lucifer, he looks at you in that same moment and your eyes meet. “I know you’ve been following me every day.” You’re the first to break the silence. “I don’t know if you let your presence be felt on purpose, but neither of you were really hiding.”

“I know,” Lucifer nods and you frown. “I wanted to approach you when Simeon is here.”

That makes both you and Simeon narrow your eyebrows. You look at each other confused, but warily.

“I want to properly explain everything.” Lucifer shortly explains. He doesn’t miss how you flinch and move closer to Simeon, whose shoulders tense, preparing for an attack. He resists an urge to smile, because if Simeon reacts that way, then that is everything Lucifer needs to know. Simeon would protect you no matter what.

“What if I don’t want to hear it?” You force yourself to ask.

“Then I won’t say a word.” He reaches for the cup of coffee and takes a sip, his eyes never straying from yours. “You deserve to know the truth, but if you don’t wish to know then that is fine by me.”

Biting your lower lip, you look at Simeon, who stares at Lucifer like he tries to read him. But knowing the oldest demon, Lucifer could hide his emotions too well. Narrowing your eyebrows, you pursue your lips into a thin line before you nod.

“Alright…” you whisper, taking in a shaky breath. “I’m listening.”

Lucifer stares at you, saying nothing for a while. Breaking the eye-contact, he looks at Simeon like he wants his approval to talk. Getting what he wants, Lucifer closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “When Lilith was reincarnated as human, a witch found out her connection to us.” He begins slowly. “She was quite powerful in her prime years when we were still angels and we, brothers and I, defeated her for she made quite havoc on earth. We didn’t kill her, thinking the defeat would be enough to stop her. It appears she held a grudge and I still regret the day I let her slip through my fingers.”

You frown, but listen in silence.

“Ever since, there’s been no word of her or anyone of her relation;” Lucifer continues “until you arrived at Devildom. The word of your ancestors spread and it brought her descendant forward. At first none of us had an idea, forgetting what happened so many years ago, but the moment she mentioned you, Lilith and her ancestor, I pieced it together. She demanded us to become unfriendly, cold and distant. Mammon and Levi were against it, of course,” the corners of his and your lips turn into a small smile. “But she threatened to go back into the past and make it so you were never born.”

A chill runs down your spine and Simeon reaches to hold your hand.

“I still remember and curse her name up to this day, but knowing Chandra, she was livid when we destroyed her coven, her power. Elvira spoke of the oath Chandra swore with her children to destroy us, starting with Lilith.” Closing his eyes, Lucifer sighs. “But then Lilith died and us brothers didn’t have an exactly good relationship among each other either. We were new to being demons, forced to live in a place so unknown to us, one place we never thought we would live in. In a way it was a perfect chance for them to get revenge on us, yet it seemed they weren’t as strong as Chandra was.” Taking a sip of coffee, he pursues lips into a thin line. “But then you came and Elvira found your connection to Lilith. None of us knew she observed us and when you left she decided to approach us.”

Simeon holds your hand just a bit tighter.

“She gave us an ultimatum.” Lucifer closes his eyes, his grip on the cup tight. “If we give you distance, push you away, she’ll leave you alone. Mammon argued with her, refusing, yet he still kept the distance. He still cherishes you too much to lose you.” He looks into your eyes and you recognize pain and regret. “But once you came back, all of that nearly diminished. We had no idea you were coming back, so when we saw Solomon, Simeon and Luke, we knew you were coming as well. Mammon was about to go and pick you up at the RAD, but we argued and he left. I don’t know where he went, none of us do, but he came when you were searching for him.”

“You were at the house?” you blurt out.

Averting his gaze, a look of regret returns, and you know the answer.

“We all were.” He admits. “We couldn’t see you, feeling both ashamed and angry at ourselves for being unable to do anything. Mammon took it the worst of us. None of us knew that he visited you once.”

You’re confused. “What?”

“You must have been sleeping, but Mammon paid you a visit.” Your eyes widen. “Of course Elvira found out and she wasn’t exactly happy about it. It upset her and said we’ll be sorry for that, but we managed to argue back that she didn’t forbid us for checking on you when you’re not conscious of our presence.” He takes in a deep breath before he slowly lets it out in a rather silent sigh. “Then you moved to Purgatory Hall and it just went … downhill from there. We argued constantly, unsure how to make Elvira pull out of this deal.”

You shake your head, hardly believing what he was saying. “Aside from Diavolo and King of Hell, you’re seven strongest demons, Lucifer.” He looks at you like he expected those words.

He shakes his head. “We had to make sure she was working alone unlike Chandra. We had to plan carefully, since she always kept an eye on us. We found she had a couple of low-class demons on her side, telling her of what’s happening between us.” He sighs. “Then Mammon saw you running out of Diavolo’s office crying and we ended in another argument. Mammon wanted to tell you everything. He wanted to be with you. Leviathan as well.”

You remember someone calling you that day, somehow knowing it was Mammon. Your shoulders slump as you lower your head, eyes falling at your hands instead. Simeon is still holding your hand. No matter how much you try, you can’t forget that day.

“We didn’t know what Lord Diavolo spoke to you about, but Mammon wanted to go to you. I had never seen him so anxious and upset until that moment.” You could feel his and Simeon’s eyes on you, but you continue to stare at your hands, eyes tearing up. You fear what is coming. “You broke all seven pacts at once.” He glances at Simeon, who already stares at him. “Why?”

“It was a gamble,” You whisper, closing your eyes. “If I broke one pact at a time, you’d figure it out and demand answers. After pushing me away for so long, I didn’t want to see any of you. Can you blame me?” you laugh bitterly, finally raising your head to look at him.

Lucifer’s eyes widen, but he quickly composes himself and shakes his head. “Not at all.” He answers. “But you broke the pacts of seven strong demons—like you’ve said before. You must have taken quite the damage both mentally and physically.”

“I have.” You admit. “But I had help.” You give Simeon a squeeze and he returns it as he speaks;

“Luke and I stayed with them, making sure they were never alone. Solomon took our place when we had to go back to the Celestial Realm.”

Lucifer nods in understanding.

“When did you find out about my parents?” you ask, still looking at Lucifer, who doesn’t seem surprised at your question.

Lucifer remains quiet, thinking. “Around one year later.” He speaks after a moment. “It was odd that Elvira suddenly disappeared before you left. We had no idea what she was up to, hoping the angels and Solomon helped you and that you were safe wherever you were.” Your chest tightens at his words, feeling a lump growing in your throat. “Belphie and Satan overheard a couple of demons talking to each other about you and Elvira. They also spoke of your parents and the accident, so Satan decided to look into it. All the police had it written was as an accident – truck going out of control and hitting the car straight on. But Satan found it odd. While it rarely happens that truck spirals out of control, it doesn’t happen without a reason, especially when the roads are dry.”

He hesitates, glancing at Simeon and you can see he’s wondering if he should tell you or not.

“I’m okay…” you whisper, but both of them know you aren’t. Yet you still want to hear it from his lips. You want to hear what really happened to your parents.

Closing his eyes, Lucifer takes in a shaky breath before he speaks with a quieter voice. “There’s footage of the accident, but it’s not in good quality. Satan managed to get a copy of it, asking Levi if he could make the graphic a bit better. It was hard, but he managed. We watched the footage over and over to see if there’s anything odd, but there was nothing. Nothing except for a small detail that police could easily miss in that bad quality.” You unknowingly make a fist and grit your teeth. “Just before the hit, the driver looked like he wanted to steer the truck to prevent the accident, yet no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t.”

You remember the video. Although in bad quality, you couldn’t see the driver, but managed to spot movement of his arms. You didn’t think much of it, but now that you listen to Lucifer you curse at yourself for not taking more caution.

“Belphie and Asmo were talking with the demons, asking them in a round-about way about you. We took the risk by asking directly, but they weren’t exactly subtle when it came to their idiocy.” Lucifer looks to the side. “Mammon and Beel were already on a hunt for the witch.”

“Ah,” Simeon seems to remember. Both you and Lucifer look at him. “That was reckless of them…” he murmurs, his gaze that of a parent scolding his child. “Michael was fuming when he found out that Mammon and Beel are on a witch hunt.”

Lucifer chuckles and you unconsciously smile. “I believe he was,” he nods and sighs a moment later. “Once we were sure that Elvira was the cause for the accident, nothing could save her.”

“The devastation you left of her coven, let every witch know it’s no good to get on your bad side. Especially Mammon’s.” The corners of Simeon’s lips turn into a smile and it makes you wonder just what the brothers did.

Lucifer huffs like Simeon just insulted him. “It’s their own fault for messing with us. It should’ve been obvious when we dealt with Chandra back then.”

“Yet she still managed to escape you.”

Narrowing his eyebrows, Lucifer glares at Simeon and you’re quick to speak; “Calm down, I really don’t want to become homeless right now.” with a nervous laughter. They look at you, but calm down and fall into silence. Lucifer reaches for the cup of coffee and takes a sip, his eyes quite obviously looking around your house. You look at Simeon, who’s looking at Lucifer with a slightly troubled expression and you wonder what’s on his mind.

Holding the cup in his hands, Lucifer focuses back on you. “We truly are sorry.” He speaks quietly and you look at him. “If you have any questions, you can ask. If you want to curse us, you can. We won’t hold it against you for whatever your decision will be. If you want us to leave you alone, we will.”

“I was hurt.” Your voice was silent, but the quietness that surrounds you prevents you to be unheard. “I waited for your call. I had no idea if I did something wrong or what. I missed you so much only to be confused when I came back to Devildom. Simeon, Solomon and Luke were there along with Diavolo and Barbatos. You? Nowhere in sight.”

Lucifer lowers his head in shame.

“Yes,” you continue, “if it weren’t for Solomon, Simeon and Luke being here, I don’t think I’d have regained as much strength as I have now.”

Dread overwhelms Lucifer, eyes widening in fear.

“I felt defeated, crushed and disappointed at myself for trusting you. But what did I even expect?” you chuckle. “You’re demons and I’m just a mortal with a short lifespan.”

“That’s not true—”

“It is.” You overtake the demon, looking straight into his eyes. “It was my own fault for being naïve. For thinking I could be friends with you.” A sigh escapes your lips. “I thought I’d be angrier after hearing the reason, but…” you trail off and shake your head, unsure what to say.

“It’s alright,” Simeon releases your hand and caresses your back instead. “Why don’t you get some rest? You must be tired.”

Sparing him a glance, you nod before you look at Lucifer. “You can stay if you wish, I don’t mind.”

Lucifer bows his head in gratitude. “Thank you…” his voice is quiet, low and you feel your shoulders slump in defeat.

Standing up, you leave the terrace without sparing another glance. Both Lucifer and Simeon are silent, but you know the moment you’re out of hearing range, they’ll evolve in a talk. You unconsciously touch your left ring finger, where Lucifer’s pact tattoo used to be.

“Vena amoris,” Lucifer speaks as he stares at your left hand that he holds. “Do you know the meaning?” he asks, emotions shifting in his eyes when first traces of a pact tattoo begin to appear.

You shake your head and look at your ring finger. It’s similar to a tribe tattoo, but it has, what seems like, small branches spreading down your hand and over your wrist. It looks like those jewellery bracelets connected to the ring and you can’t help but be in awe.

“Vena amoris,” he repeats and brings your hand up to his lips, his eyes finding yours. A shiver runs down your spine at the intensity of his gaze, cheeks growing warmer; “or a vein of love.”

You feel like crying, eyes burning from unshed tears, as you whisper; “Such a thing doesn’t exist. It never did.”

[dodo-begone]

New anon, I feel called out ASDFGHJKL—

A guy in my class confessed to me and I just blinked in confusion, thanked him, and walked away cause I thought he meant it as a friend HAHAHAHAH it took people who saw the whole thing going down explaining it to me THREE TIMES for me to realize it wasn’t a platonic confession. ^^;

Growing up with a parent that has NPD, I don’t have a lot of self confidence and though I have trust issues, I cling onto those who show me affection very easily. I’m also quick to apologize for something, even if I have nothing to do with it, and forgive people even quicker. I hate it, but someone could physically or mentality hurt me and/or my family, and I’d probably forgive them in a matter of hours (days or maybe weeks if it was bad enough) out of habit. I can never make decisions for myself (I was able to redesign, paint, and furnish my room and I told my mom to pick what to do with it for me because I honestly didn’t [and still don’t] care how it turns out. Just like, pick what you want and I’ll roll with it. I stg I thought my mom was gonna strangle me if I didn’t make a decision HAHAHAH—) and I’ll take anything dealt in my direction, positive or negative, without any resistance so long as my friends or family aren’t facing the negative as well. (But even then, I’ll forgive eventually).

It’s ironic because I don’t let my friends take any shit and always tell them to stand up for themselves—or I’ll do it for them—and then I’m quiet as a mouse with any major or minor inconvenience that comes my way. I don’t even think there’s anyone I hate, and I’ve dealt with shit from people. I just, idk, take it, forgive them, and move on I guess. Someone could stab me and I’d apologize for being in the way and offer to clean the knife and hide my own body before I die OOPS—

I put others, even those that are openly rude or cruel to me before myself and it’s just ksksksksk. Honestly, just give me physical touch and generally tell me that I’m a decent human being and I’ll do anything for you LOL.

My friends are already worried about how easily I let things slide and how little I care about my own well being, so having a yandere that’s worried enough to take me away wouldn’t even be surprising WHOOPS

Dream SMP yanderes would have a field day omg—

(Similarly to Loyal, I only know the DSMP OOOOP)

Yandere: so I may have killed your family and now you’re staying with me for the rest of your life

Me: Take me wherever, idc. No need to knock me out or anything, I’ve got legs and I know how to walk. Just lead the way.

Me: also, fuck you, my family was pretty pog >:( *still willingly goes*

We all getting called out by the new anon aren’t we? Pog-

Okay that guy confessing to you??? I’ve done that quite a bit. I guess?? Idk I just see them all as jokes bc they come from ppl in my classes.

Yo I, I know this won’t do anything, but I’m so sorry for that crap you had to deal with. But I can feel you on the indecisive stuff. I have such a hard time choosing and if there is even slight pushback I’m like “I can’t. Take the reigns since you’re apparently better” but that’s,,, only to my fam tbh.

(Yo it’s k. Idk much about Hermitcraft. I’m slowly learning though so don’t feel bad. That shit been going on for ages)

Haha I hope a yandere doesn’t kidnap us. Would be such a tragedy

[ajokeformur-ray]

Hey can I get some headcanons of your relationship with your F/O parents bc y’all are such a cute family dynamic and I wanna hear more about how you all interact🥰💗

and @arianatheangelworld 

asdfghjkl; omgggg~ you’re all gonna kill me asghj 🥺😭😭thank you darlings omggg ~ 🥰🥰🥰💗 I hope that you all enjoy this, it’s always so bittersweet but also so comforting and fun to explore my dynamic with my parental F/Os and, well... isn’t that the point of it all?💖 Thank you thank you thank you for supporting and enabling me omggg ~ 💙😊

Word count: 3, 184 (holy shit I am so sorry... not😂)

It’s a quiet life, but there’s lots of underlying tensions beneath it all.

By quiet, I mean because I spend my days in my bedroom studying (not so far from reality, these relationships😂) but there are underlying tensions because no one in the household knows who Edward Hyde really is - it’s a secret between my parents and I. 

What that means is that it’s tricky for Papa and myself to spend time with one another if other members of the household are awake - as far as they are concerned, Father is my parent and so is Mama, and Papa has no part in that. So as you can imagine, questions would be raised if Papa and I are caught spending too much time together (plus, this is set in the Victorian Era, so you can imagine the scandal of an unmarried twenty-three year old woman spending lots of time alone in a room, unchaperoned, with a man old enough to be her father...)

This is why Papa and I only have our time together late into the night, when said members of the household have gone to bed and it’s only my parents and I who are awake. It’s safer for all of us that way - it protects Father and his name, his reputation and his career, which in turn protects the household members from being turned out onto the streets due to a lack of employment and this in turn protects Father’s family, who always come first.

From the moment I wake up, my parents are there. As you’ve probably gathered from previous posts, I sleep with my parents a lot so it isn’t unusual for me to wake up with one of them. Rare and special occasions mean that I get to wake up with Mama and either Father or Papa. 

Mama’s always up by five in the morning or she’ll fall behind on her chores so if she’s the one I slept with in the night, then I’ll get up when she does. She always insists that I go back to bed and that I go to sleep, but I rarely do. I much prefer to have those early hours with her so that I can help her with her chores and maybe, if I’m very lucky... I’ll get to be the one who takes Father his breakfast tray so that I get to see him early in the morning and so that I can crawl into his bed and get me some extra cuddles before I start my day.

If I sleep in with Father, then the opposite happens and I’m woken up when he gets brought his breakfast tray (7 AM on the dot!), and of course I end up getting up when he does because even though he won’t kick me out of his bed, he also knows that if he leaves me to my own devices in a soft, warm bed, I’ll end up falling asleep until noon and then I’ll beat myself up about it, so he makes sure I am awake and up before he’s done with his breakfast (and if Mama knows I slept in with Father, she’ll bring me some breakfast too!) to save me any emotional distress. 

Father always wakes me up gently... up until a certain point. He will shake me gently while saying my name, which usually gets a sleepy groan from me. Then, it’s onto talking, with his voice going from a whisper and increasing in volume until he’s just above his normal speaking level. He never raises his voice at me and we all know why. If that doesn’t work, then Father will just “accidentally” pull the covers off of me. He isn’t subtle, but he also isn’t mean about it, and if I do genuinely need some more sleep, then he will let me have that. But for the most part, he makes sure that I’m up once he is on the nights I’m in his bed.

I never ever get to wake up with Papa. It just doesn’t happen for various reasons. Firstly, because Papa’s constantly moving around like a lion stuck in a cage and he loves me dearly but not enough to stay in one place for more than a few hours unless he’s already sleeping. Secondly, because he can’t be caught in my bed or vice versa by anyone other than Mama to protect Father’s name etc. Thirdly, I may wake up to Papa crawling into my bed or easing himself in his own if I fell asleep in his bed, but I don’t ever get to start my day with Papa. Our time is night time and that has to be non-negotiable. It does upset me if I wake up in an especially needy mood, but Father and Mama will get me through the day in the meantime.

Mama likes to sneak me items of Papa’s or Father’s clothing to wear when I go to bed. She’s not supposed to but Mama is sleight of hand and I can be quick when I need to be. She and I often have silent conversations in a crowded room and all it takes is for Mama to “accidentally” make a noise, like a quick scuffing of her boot on the floor or for her knuckles to make a noise against the wooden table and I just look at her.  Mama catches my eye and then gives me A Look before she turns back to her ironing. I walk past and at the point where our lower bodies are hidden by the ironing board, she stuffs an unironed shirt in my hand (usually Papa’s) and I walk off, the shirt stowed away under my arm and then placed for safe-keeps under my pillow for the night time. Sometimes it might be one of her night-dresses, but I am comfier in either Papa or Father’s clothes.

There are so many secrets between myself and my parents which are kept from the other members of the household. Between all three of us, we manage it as best as we can, though I have no doubt that the others think we're a little odd. 😊

There are periods which are weeks long where Father is so busy in his laboratory that no one sees him. It's communication .via. letters on the stairs and that's all anyone hears from him. Mama and I worry immensely but Father's always been this way and all we can do is be patient and wait for him. He's a workaholic and he often makes himself sick from all of the working and everyone in the household knows what to do when these times arise, which are getting more frequent as Father gets older.

In especially bad times, even Mama won't be able to get through to Father. I get upset if that's the case, because if he shuts away the one person he loves above all else, it's a serious warning sign. Mama and I have a pact that if she can't get through, then I will. Father is always so protective of me, and now it's my turn to protect him. I take this very seriously, understandably so, and I wait up until two or three in the morning, so late that even Mama's gone to bed and is sleeping. I wait in his study for that time, reading one of his old medical journals, and then I go downstairs, out the back door, and into the laboratory.

It's freezing in there because there's where Father used to carry out dissections and lectures back before his illness (never canonically diagnosed but it's believed to be depression or similar) got worse, so I always take him his old smoking jacket (which doubles as my blanket when I take naps in his study). By this time in the night, Father will be so tired and sleep-deprived that he's more likely to be honest with me, and it's for this reason that I also stayed up so late - Father will assume I'm unable to sleep because I'm so worried about him, and while that's true, it's also because I know him well enough to know what time of night is best for an intervention. Yes, it's slightly manipulative on my end of things, but I am my Papa's daughter and it's with good intentions so I don't linger on this thought for too long. It won't do me any good and my Father's most important. I'd do anything for him.

I find Father where I knew he would be - scribbling in a journal by candlelight, his fingers covered in ink, his hair a mess, yawning every few seconds. A cold plate of mutton is left forgotten by his elbow, only half eaten. I'm just like him when I study so I don't lecture my Father on his bad eating habits -he and I have the same work ethic so I would be a hypocrite to tell him off for something he usually tells me off for. I announce myself by putting his smoking jacket over his shoulders. Father pulls the jacket around himself with a shiver and I smile. You're welcome.

"You should be in bed, Erika." Father frowns in disapproval and I almost want to call him out on his hypocrisy.

"So should you," My tone is sharp with worry and frustration and Father takes a moment to look at me - I never speak to him like this. "Mama's really worried about you. So am I. We haven't seen Papa for weeks, and we - " Just like always, my anger turns to upset and I move away, trying not to cry.

"Erika." I turn back to my Father and I see that he has tears in his eyes, too. He's hurting and even though he's been trying to find a cure for years, he's never been able to find one which really helps him. "I am sorry, I - my work, it is. Well, let's not discuss the details." A pause. Neither of us know what to do, even when there is no one to see or hear us. "Come here." He pats his lap and I make a happy noise, which makes him smile. I love sitting on my Father's lap - it's been something I've done ever since I was a child and it always makes me feel so safe.

I go and I sit on my Father's lap (and have a quiet cry - he knows but he doesn't say anything about it because he doesn't want to embarrass me) and he continues to work, but as the hours drag on and we both get increasingly tired, Father knows that the time for working is over. On these nights when I manage to find my Father in his own mind and pull him back with just my presence (and my very existence is a reminder of what he holds most dear), I also spend the night in his bed.

"Thank you, Erika, for..." Father trails off, but I know what he's saying to me.

I snuggle into his bed, feel my Father kiss my forehead and whisper his love, and then I sleep.

The night is half the battle - getting Father to take a break tomorrow morning will be an even bigger battle, but by then Mama will be awake and we'll work together to save Father from himself.

It's not the first or the last time, but all of us in the family have our Own Moments which require special attentions and solutions, and we love each other even harder during those times.

The reunion with Papa after getting Father to take a break from his weeks of working always makes me cry, too.

Over the years, it's become almost a... tradition, of sorts, for Papa to greet me this way after a long separation.

I could be doing anything - reading in Father's study, writing in my bed, studying at my desk - and all of a sudden, out of nowhere -

"Erika."

Whispered so casually, so quietly, but my entire body freezes. I know that voice anywhere. I drop whatever I'm doing, I tear up, and I turn, slowly...

Papa's smirking at me, a cold and calculative look in his eyes, but I'm not afraid. I'm not even nervous. Anyone else would make me step back with this look, but not Papa. No.

"Oh, my - Papa!" I step forward into his embrace and I melt into the parent I've been missing most of all. I cry, of course I do, and Papa says nothing about it (he and Father aren't so different at all, once you get to know them, though I'd never tell them that. Or Mama. It's a thought I keep entirely to myself.) because he doesn't see why he should need to; he only holds me tighter.

I can almost hear his fond eye roll and it makes me smile.

"It's difficult to understand someone who is entirely incapable of asking for what he most wants, wouldn't you agree? You're the only one he listens to," our daughter.

There is pride in Papa's voice but just like always, I can hear what he doesn't say, just as he hears what I don't say. It's just how it is between us; Papa and I have a level of understanding between us which we don't have with anyone else.

That night, Papa sleeps in my bed with me. I'm never ready to say goodbye to him, or goodnight, either. The following conversation is a nightly ritual because of this:

"Just five more minutes, Papa?"

"I'll be here tomorrow night. you know that. Sleep, child."

"But - "

"Erika."

A warning. No one else receives warnings from the Edward Hyde and lives to tell the tale. So I listen.

"Fine." I know he will be with me tomorrow night. "Stay with me 'til I fall asleep?"

Papa sighs, rolls his eyes, and pointedly lays down, watching me the whole time. I couldn't hide my smile if I tried, so I don't even bother to - Papa taught me to show my emotions and to not hide them.

"Goodnight, Erika."

"'Night, Papa. Love you."

A kiss on the top of my head, and all else fades to black.

My parents and I are very physically affectionate with one another and it's... unusual, especially if you consider the fact that it's in the Victorian Era, but the members of the household find it touching. They get hugs and affection, too! Even if they don't necessarily know how to react to it, they still do get their hugs in the morning and late at night just before they all go to bed (which is between 10 and 11, whereas I go to bed anywhere from midnight to 3 AM).

If I have a nightmare or a bad dream, I am at total liberty to climb into any bed in the house, but of course I make a beeline typically for Mama's bed. She knows nightmares well and she'll simply hold me until I feel safe, and then she'll hold me some more because I get clingy and I don't like letting go. There's been times I've cried because she let me go before I was ready for the cuddle to be over (though those times were when I was much younger) so now she just lets me decide for myself when I've had enough.

With the way I sleep with my hair in two braids, I always get a mass of tangles at the back of my head. Always. I hate it and it always makes me hesitant to brush my hair, which is now midway down my back (so I can’t not brush my hair every day), because I know it’s gonna hurt me. I’ll brush the front parts of my hair and I’ll try to brush the knots out, but it hurts so I stop and I don’t want to brush my hair. 

A part of me is always tempted to just leave it, but at the same time I know from previous experience that hair knots can and will get worse, so during these times I’ll take my brush to Mama. She’s always so gentle, not just with me, but also just in her nature. 

She is such a tender-hearted person and I admire her so deeply for that. She’s incredibly busy so typically I’ll leave brushing my hair until the evening, when she has more time to help me. I don’t always ask her for help with my hair, so when I do, she knows immediately that it’s because I really can’t do it myself.

“Mama, there’s a - I have a knot. Can you help me?”

A small smile and she goes to get her wooden comb. It’s gentler on knots than my own hairbrush, which pulls more than it needs to, and we both know it. Mama is so gentle that it barely hurts me, and within minutes she’s done what I’ve delayed all day.

“How do you want it tonight, Erika? One braid or two?”

I fondly roll my eyes - like she needs to ask. My smile is in my voice as I ask for two, and Mama and I get to spend some time with one another quietly enjoying each other’s company.

Sometimes I return the favour by helping her brush out her hair, but she’s incredibly self-sufficient and she largely prefers to do it herself. Which is fine... I’ll find other ways to help her!😊

“Thank you, Mama.” My words are doubled up with a tight hug, and then I’m ushered off to bed because it’s late and she’s exhausted.

I technically have three parents and each one fulfills a different need for me, so all together, they meet all of my needs and I try, I try to be a daughter that they can be proud of, that they can respect and that they can love unconditionally. I try so hard every day to live in a way to honour their places in my life.

There's nothing I wouldn't do for my parents. I would die for my parents, to give them a happy ending, to give them the time to be together, but in many ways... I am that happy ending, even if things aren't perfect. It's a fight sometimes to keep secrets exactly that, but we make it work. We have to.

I tell them each and every day that I love them, I hug them and cuddle them and help them out where I can, because they deserve the world.

They are my parents and I am very grateful to and for them. They have made me who I am today and they'll be with me forever, no matter where I go or what I do or who I become. I just hope that they'll continue to walk with me for the rest of my life, because I wouldn't be alive without them... in more ways than one.

[currywaifu]

𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞: scouting dilemma 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩: hyodo juza/reader 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: sfw 𝐰𝐜: 1.7k words

𝐚𝐧: guess who was inspired by the 2020 gem heist? wrote a dumb little thing dedicated to all my fallen comrades bc juza won’t come home to them after the reset- sorry to the requests I have yet to fulfill! year 2 ages btw~

This was the moment you’ve been waiting for. You managed to save up a massive amount of gems, waiting to be spent on a banner with your best boy in it. For months, your fingers itched to pull but you were loyal (with a few caving exceptions) to the character who got you into the game in the first place.

When the developers finally announced a banner with him in it, an SSR of best boy in a summer outfit no less, it was as if fate decided to tell you now was the moment to splurge strike.

9:58 pm.

Staring at your phone screen, you made sure everything was prepared before you could summon. You decided to do your first pull at 10 pm (his favourite number was 10), and surrounded your phone with a summon circle made entirely out of candies still in their wrappers.

9:59 pm.

You sent your prayers to the gacha gods, counting down the seconds until the clock struck-

10:00 pm.

With a shriek, you nearly ruined your summon circle formation of sweets as you scrambled to your phone, clicking the bright, shiny button that had tempted you endlessly.

“Yes, I’m sure I want to spend! Come home, come home, come home…” you chanted, unable to decide whether you should close your eyes until the final results or keep them wide open.

Choosing the latter, you gritted your teeth at the sequence of cards arriving.

R, Event R, R, R, Dupe SR, R, R, R, R, Event SR.

Suppressing the scream that wanted to escape your throat, you tried to laugh it off. At least you got two of the event cards…? Maybe it would have been better to wait until 10:10 pm?

An SNS notification popped up at the top of your screen, and from the little summary, you could tell you were gonna get upset at the contents. Checking the chat, your mutual quickly followed up her message with a screencap of your best boy. Coming home to her.

You quickly sent your response before promptly returning to the game, ‘asdfghjkl im happy for u but like also muting u rn :’< brb soon hopefully yeet need to retrieve my boi from the game’s clutches cya’

Despite your initial optimism, as the pulls kept going, the lower your gem count, the worse your mood became.

Should… should you stop right now? Banner really said no rights to best boy, huh? Sure you were able to fully merge a bunch of SRs and even the event R and SR cards, but not once did he come home? Even his sworn rival’s initial SSR came home if only to spite you or him or both.

Mentally exhausted, you decided to sleep. Maybe your luck would be better tomorrow?

When you walked into the room with a frown visible on your face, Juza immediately knew something was wrong.

From even before he got together with you, he was always sensitive to the different expressions you made, and by association your emotions— to the little smile on your face as you ate desserts together or the eyebrow furrow-pout combo you did when the professor said something you didn’t agree with. He’d never say how fun it was, seeing the different faces you’d make.

However, while those were cute, this just made him worry.

He’d really rather not fight anyone, but if he has to beat up someone…

Juza found himself distracted during class, unable to stop himself from constantly looking at you every few minutes. With a faint peach staining his cheeks, he slipped his hand underneath the desk to grasp your own.

“… you okay?” he said, voice low and quiet as to not catch anyone else’s attention. The look on your face turns a little softer, even throwing him a quick smile but he knows you well enough to spot the traces of sadness still present.

You don’t reply, squeezing his hand back as you finally tried to pay attention to the professor.

He sighed, slowly releasing your hand from beneath the table. He’ll find a way to make you feel better later, but for now, he had to take notes— for the both of you, it looked.

It’s not every day that Juza does most of the talking, but that just so happened to be the case today. He’s getting restless, stuck between actively wanting to help you out with whatever you needed or just sticking by you and letting you overcome whatever’s troubling you on your own.

You’ll talk when you want to, he knew that, but even still he wanted to be more useful to you. Do you want him to just keep talking to help you take your mind off things? Do you want to rant to him so he can listen? Do you want him to get you something? He’s not the best at giving advice, but if you needed it he’d do his best.

He doesn’t know what to do. You’re responding to him, but your mind is all the way elsewhere.

The next thing he knew, he’s getting a spoonful of his frozen dessert and pressing it against your lips.

You get startled from your thoughts when a sudden icy temperature meets your mouth. You opened your mouth, cringing slightly at the cool before finally enjoying the shaved ice dessert.

While it wasn’t uncommon for Juza to let you taste the food he ate and vice versa, he was usually more reserved, too shy to feed you in public.

‘He must have been worried,’ you thought to yourself if he had to do that just to catch your attention. You immediately shifted your thoughts from the game to Juza, already about to apologise for troubling him before he interrupted you.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, and even though he had a scowl on his face, he looked at you with tight and worried eyes.

He knew you played games on your phone, but it was still a bit embarrassing to admit that you were upset for such a long duration because of your best boy not coming home. However, Juza deserved to know, so you pushed away your hesitance before explaining the whole fiasco to him.

Juza doesn’t get it entirely. He’s bordering between relief and confusion— on one hand, at least no one wanted to hurt you or fight you or anything; on the other hand, a 2D guy got you upset?

The concept isn’t completely foreign to him, what with Itaru-san and even Settsu constantly gaming, but usually it was his roommate being irritating and gloating while the salaryman got frustrated, eventually passing his phone to Sakuya.

He’s honestly shell-shocked that you’re upset, so even though he doesn’t understand why it’s such a big deal he’ll do what he can to make you feel better. He’s not the best at comforting people, he can never find the right words… but he’s good at listening.

He placed his hand on top of yours, grateful you don’t point it out verbally or he might actually combust. He can only hope the two of you are seated secluded enough that no one comes by.

Something’s starting to bother him though. The more he listens to you, the more he’s conflicted— if you’re dedicating that much of your… gems (?) to this guy he gets why you’re upset. Another part of him wonders what’s so great about this specific guy.

He’s not upset nor is he jealous, he’s just… figuring out what specific traits you like in this guy. For future reference. Who knew, maybe he’d get to play a role similar to the character you like so much?

“Why do you like him so much, anyway?” He asked, staring intently at you.

Your attitude quickly changed from being upset to being excited to talk about your favourite character.

“He’s just so kind and thoughtful! A total gap moe, you wouldn’t expect him to be so family-oriented because of his appearance but he totally is!” you began, barely catching a break to breathe before continuing on, “plus he didn’t start off as the strongest? But he’s constantly trying his best you just want to root for him and care for him?”

Unexpectedly, Juza finds himself a little flustered, though he’s unsure of why when you’re only describing a character. Perhaps it was the look on your face while you talked?

“Plus, he looks a lot like you! Obviously, I need him to come home, right?” you exclaimed, hitting him straight in the heart with your crinkled eyes and a beautiful smile.

The hand that was comforting you a while ago and gently rubbing patterns onto your skin stilled. You noticed right away, hoping you didn’t say anything too weird during your rant.

“Juza?”

He’s silent for a while, unsure of what to do and ultimately deciding to say the first thing that popped up in his head.

“… then why’d you need him to come home if I’m already-“

When he heard you squeal he stopped himself from continuing whatever he was going to say. Did you hear him? Dumb question, of course, you did!

You covered your face with your hands, unsuccessfully hiding the strawberry red colouring your face, and screamed internally. You can’t see how Juza is reacting but you just heard a bang on the table?

‘Juza? Who told you to- istg I’ll have you arrested for-‘

After a few moments, you’re the one who ultimately breaks the silence, knowing neither of you had enough will to point out the warm flecks that still remained on both of your faces.

“We should get going. Our class is all the way in another building,” you said, slowly standing up from your seat.

“… ‘kay.”

You’re not holding hands while walking, but if he noticed the frequency of your hand grazing his he doesn’t let you know.

Reaching the midpoint between your classroom and his, you turn to face him before splitting off in the hallway. You look to see if the coast was clear, and to Juza’s surprise, you enveloped him into a warm embrace, quick but heartfelt. Neither of you saw each other’s expressions, but Juza wondered if your heart raced just as fast as his did.

“Thank you for making me feel better… I love you,” you whisper the last part, before untangling yourself from him and speed walking away to your classroom. You miss the way Juza looks back at you, body frozen but face a mixture of shock and longing and love.

want to order again?

[lucifer-kane]

Ramble about kfam I love seeing other people talk about!!!!

Okay here we go. I might end up repeating some stuff but oh well. New audience and such. These will prob also get into the shippy territory!

Sammy’s love language is gift giving more than anything else,

He got along with his mother more than his father before things changed. He misses her a lot

Sammy also grew up in a small town that was pretty progressive, but his parents weren’t

Lily and Sammy were damn close, then Jack ofc, but Lily and Sammy had a little more in common. Jacks a jock and the other two very much aren’t

Neither Jack or Sammy want kids if their own for multiple reasons, but when Ben and Emily have kids, god those kids are spoiled rotten

Ben is somehow the last to find out he’s gonna be a dad, simply because Emily tells Lily first, Sammy just fuckin guesses, then Ben finds out. Can’t shut up about how he’s so excited to be a dad when on air

Troy and Sammy joke about fighting for the right of godfather but obviously they both end up it

Jack is selectively mute after the void, he likes the quiet, he also runs cold, and for once he’s happy Sammy runs hot

Ron and Sammy were already close pre Sammy being outed, but honestly my own personal hc is that Sammy did tell Ron before anyone else. Because really, Ron understood.

They had something together, the both of them, first just something casual but then romantic. Sammy was scared that this meant he didn’t love Jack as much anymore.

Ron then sat the man down and told him that he could still love Jack, of course he could. That no one knew what was going on and if he would even come back. So the long talk ends in a separation for a bit as Sammy thinks on things. They get back together, then say if Jack comes back, another conversation will be had.

When Jack does get rescued, there’s a time after a bit where Sammy tells Jack about Ron. They haven’t met yet, but Jack does enjoy the look on Sammy’s face when he talks about Ron. It reminds him of when Sammy talked about Jack in the early days, how he still looks at Jack.

None of them are together in this time. Jack needs time to heal, both mentally and physically. Then Jack meets Ron and instantly likes the guy. He spends tim with Ron just like he does with the rest of the crew, and honestly begins to fall a little for Ron himself. It was hard not to.

The three have a long talk. About feelings about the future. They enter into a slow start of a relationship, and are very happy together. Jack and Ron get up to shit a lot, Sammy loves them both. Sammy loves coming home from work and squishing Jack between Ron and him, going to sleep warm and loved.

I could talk about these three for hours asdfghjkl. Sorry this delved into my ot3!!

[t-lostinworlds]

Words Cut Like Knives (Shawn Mendes)

A/N: So this is another entry for @fourtristattoos spring festival since it angst week (I hope I’m not late), and yes, this is an angst one asdfghjkl I’m soorryy in advance. It’s cuz when I’m in that head space, I write to get it out so here we are. Hope you guys like it! x

P.S. I’ll be posting the next part of Duplicate next, hopefully in the next few days. I’m sorry for taking so long, I hope you guys understand <3

Summary: Shawn slips out the words you were never meant to hear, but you think it's for the best that you did, even if it hurts.

Warnings: A bit of Fluff then Angst and Typos.

Word Count: 6.7k

Masterlist in Bio

Prompts will be in Bold.

-:-:-:-:-

"Shawn? You here?" You frowned as you opened his door, the place oddly quiet and dark as if no one was inside, but it was unlocked and he had texted you three simple words, please come over. And being the person who cares about him so much, of course you were there in a heartbeat, mostly a blessing in his part, but a curse in yours.

There was no denying you were in love with him, you've come to accept that within yourself, but no one knows, and you'd like to keep it that way. It's been your own little secret that you're in love with Shawn Mendes, world renowned pop superstar, but to you, a dork of a best friend.

You hate yourself for pining after him, chasing a man who you know would never look at you the way you look at him, his girlfriend is living proof of that. But what can you do? If you were able to control your feelings, you would have, save yourself the heartbreak in the process.

He does care about you by a lot and he shows that in so many ways, but just not in a way that you'd want. His love and care for you has a limit, that of being just his best friend and nothing more.

You went further inside his condo, stopping for a quick second in the kitchen to place the ice cream you bought in the fridge. You don't know why you bought it but you just have a feeling it's much needed later on. You tried your best to not knock anything over sue to the dim lighting, the only source of light was coming from the busy city outside, making its way through the windows and creating different shaped shadows in his dark living room.

After placing your bag at the plush white couch, still confused at the weird and quiet atmosphere, you turned the corner to face the hallway, sock cladded feet walking slowly towards his bedroom, an uneasy feeling in your stomach as there was no sign of life in the house yet. "Shawn?" You called out again, stopping just in front of the wooden door, a low light escaping the crack as you slowly pushed it open.

Your heart dropped as his sobs flooded your ears, eyes landing on the man who was sat on the floor, back pressed against the edge of his bed as he buried his face between his knees, hugging it close to chest as his whole body shook.

"Oh Shawn." You frowned, your feet taking you closer to him until you knelt in front of his shaking form, soft hand coming to rest on his arm making his head shot up at the contact, bloodshot eyes meeting your own, the pain in his eyes enough to break your own heart.

You didn't have time to say anything as Shawn lurched himself forward, strong arms wrapping around your waist, burying his face on your chest as he cried, full on loud sobs as he held onto you for dear life as if you're the only one that's making him feel grounded, enabling him to stay breathing.

The fabric of you shirt was getting soaked by the minute but you didn't care, you just held him, hand rubbing soothing patterns on his back while the other took home, tangled in his hair on the back of his head while your chin rests atop, cradling him in your arms without a word knowing that it's all he needs right now.

You don't know how long you two have been kneeling on the floor for, but soon enough Shawn's sobs slowly turned into sniffles, his breathing still shaky but calmer than earlier. You loosened your grip around him as he slowly pulled away, heaving in a deep sigh before looking up at you with a small yet broken smile. "I'm sorry, now your shirts ruined." He spoke, voice hoarse due to the crying he's been doing, his cheeks all red and flushed to match with his eyes.

"Well I've soaked your shirts before too, snot and all, so I guess we're even." You joked, pushing his hair back and away from his forehead absentmindedly as you both stayed knelt on the ground, height almost the same since he was hunched over, his arms still wrapped around your waist loosely. A small chuckle left Shawn's lips, the corners of his mouth curving up but was soon replaced by a frown just as fast as it appeared.

"Want to talk about it?" Shawn shook his head no, eyes casting down as he swallowed the lump in his throat. You nodded even though his eyes weren't on you, knowing that he'll tell you when he's ready, so with a deep breath, you stood up, Shawn's gaze snapping back to you at the sudden movement and you only shot him a smile, both hands extended for him to take.

"Come on, I bought ice cream." You proposed enthusiastically, earning a sigh from Shawn before he finally took your hand, getting back on his own two feet and now towering over you, he is a tall boy after all. "Of course you did." He mumbled softly, large hands closing around yours as he gave it as soft squeeze, eyes glimmering with so much gratitude, and it made your heart melt.

"What would I do without you?" Shawn whispered softly, looking at you adoringly with a smile, and you wanted him to stop, to slap him across the cheek because that look always makes you weak, makes you fall even deeper. "You'd be a mess without me." You let out a shy laugh, looking down at your intertwined hands before going back to his eyes, hoping that the dim lighting of the room was enough to hide the blush of your cheeks.

Shawn chuckled, his thumb softly caressing the back of your hands as a habit of his, completely oblivious to the fact at how your heart beat quickened at the simple gesture. Your brain was yelling at you, telling you to pull away, that the this was too close, but your heart wanted to stay there, maybe even be closer, and you hated that you felt that way, because you know Shawn was nowhere near feeling the same.

"Thank you (Y/N), for everything." Shawn tugged at your hands, pulling you closer to him as he pressed his lips softly against your forehead, arms slowly wrapping around your small form as he engulfed you in a warm, tight embrace. You stood there with your eyes shut tight, wrapping your arms around his waist as you hugged him back with a sigh, heart breaking at the same time as you wished there was more to this moment than just best friends holding each other.

He's always been like this around you, always so affectionate and sweet, and it's not helping you from getting over your feelings at all. You keep telling yourself that, that's just how Shawn is, and that there's no other meaning behind all his sweet gestures, keeping in mind that he just sees you as his friend and nothing more.

"Hey, that's what best friends are for." You shrugged as you slowly pulled away, a fake smile plastered on your face as you ignored the heart wrenching feeling that spread across your chest when you said the words. Best friends.

"I – yeah, anyway, I'll meet you in the kitchen, need to get myself together." You ignored the slight change in his voice, your brain registering it as a hint of disappointment but you quickly erased the thought away, knowing that when you're in love with someone, you tend to grasp at any sort of sign for them to feel the same, and you just can't take any false hope, not right now.

"Okay." You quickly turned on your heel before you could do something against your better judgment, hurrying towards the door to get some space between you two, because Shawn was starting to get suffocating.

"(Y/N) wait!"

"Hmm?" You turned back around to see him hunched over his luggage that was left open on the floor, and before you could even ask him what he was doing, he was already walking back towards you, clutching his blue Tommy Hilfiger hoodie in one hand, your eyebrows rising in both surprise and confusion. "Go change. Your shirt is a mess." Shawn titled his head to the side with a small smile, handing the hoodie to you in the process.

You looked down at your shirt, only now noticing the wet patches on your chest and how it started to feel sticky on your skin. You muttered a quick thanks as you flashed him a grateful smile, him returning the gesture, but when he leaned down to give your cheek a soft kiss, his soft lips lingering on your skin for a few moments, you swore you felt your heart stop. "You're welcome."

There's nothing to it. Just a friendly kiss, that's it. You thought to yourself as you gave him a shy smile, the fabric of his hoodie feeling so soft against your fingers as you abruptly turned around and made your way out, eyebrows creased with your heart thumping fast and loud as the confusion in your mind grew more and more.

Of course you get to steal his clothes sometimes, being his best friend comes with that perk, but also, it has a limit. You see, Shawn has his "favorite" pieces of clothing, and all those are always off limits for you to touch. You can still remember it vividly how he snapped at you for touching this particular hoodie. Shawn was so annoyed with you at the time that he didn't speak to you for a whole week, a bit dramatic in your opinion but you didn't bother and question him about it since it'll probably make him even angrier. After that, you always asked him which clothes were okay for you to borrow.

So seeing that he handed you the same hoodie, the very hoodie he flipped so much about when you stole it the first time, it makes your heart and mind jump into a conclusion that you know would hurt you in the long run.

You entered the bathroom with heavy breaths, the flush in your cheeks clear as day once you stared at your reflection, making you groan out in complete annoyance at how much you get so affected by him so easily that it's becoming unhealthy at this point.

"Get your shit together (Y/N). Stop acting like a lovesick teenager for fuck sake." You grumbled, slipping out of your shirt and slowly putting his hoodie on, the material almost swallowing you whole due to its size, the hem just stopping mid-thigh with the sleeves covering your arms completely, sweater paws and all, but you didn't mind, how could you when his scent was all you could smell? How can you complain when it feels so soft and warm just like him?

One last look in the mirror, and a defeated sigh later, you made your way out and into the kitchen, rummaging through the dark stained cabinets to prepare two bowls of ice cream for you and your best friend.

***

Shawn joined you a few minutes later, wearing new sets of clothes, his body covered in gray sweatpants and a black shirt that hugged his body perfectly that it messed with you head a little bit, hair slightly damped indicating that he must've took a quick shower, a tired look still in his eyes but a small smile made its way to his lips once his eyes landed on you. "You look cute."

"I'm always cute." You pointed out jokingly, trying your best to play it cool despite the fact that your heart was practically going to jump out of your chest, and of course, he had to make things worse, or better, whichever comes first.

"Well, a whole lot cuter, with that hoodie on. So adorable." Shawn gushed, that charming smile still plastered on that goddamn beautiful face.

Well fuck you Shawn.

You didn't bother to answer him as you slid his bowl of ice cream towards him across the marble counter, the kitchen island giving you the distance that you needed for you to stay sane in midst of the current situation.

Sure Shawn compliments a lot of people frequently, but the two of you are different in that area. Backhanded compliments was always the way to go in your friendship, a running joke that's been going on between the two of you for years, Shawn always saying that you keep him grounded that way and that it deflates his ego when needed.

So hearing him sound so endearing and say those words with a tone you can't muster, it makes the gears in your brain turn, even if you so badly don't want them to.

The two of you ate ice cream in pure silence, the only noise filling the area was the sound of the spoon and bowl clanking together, you not bothering to start a conversation since you're too occupied with your own argument inside your head, that until Shawn spoke the words that completely caught you by surprise.

"Freya broke up with me."

To say that you choked on your ice cream would've been an exaggeration, but that's exactly what happened as you struggled to regain your breathing, Shawn quick to get a bottle of water and rush to your side as he rubbed his palms soothingly against your back.

"What?" You softly managed to get out after a drink, looking up at Shawn to see a deep frown on his face, going back to his place across you as he leaned on the countertop, a deep sigh escaping his lips as he spoke again.

"Yeah, she said she needed a break from me or something. I don't really know why because it was on the phone. She just ended it." Shawn ran a frustrated hand through his hair, and you can just see how much this is affecting him.

"Shawn I'm sorry." You frowned at him, not sorry because she's gone but sorry because now he has to deal with this unnecessary heartbreak, one that he absolutely doesn't deserve.

"Yeah."

"And maybe it's a good thing. You can do better than her anyway." Shawn scoffed at your words, his demeanor changing from upset to annoyed real quick since you didn't bother to hide the underlying meaning behind your words, because from the very start, Shawn knows you never like his girlfriend–well now ex–in the first place.

"It's true." You know shouldn't have added anymore remarks, but you just can't help but be fed up with him stuck on this girl when she clearly has done nothing good to him.

You we're opening up an old wound, this not being the first time you've argued about her, but honestly? You don't care. You just want to open his goddamn eyes and make him see that she wasn't as amazing as his heart eyes let on. And no, this isn't the 'jealous best friend' talking, this is plainly you caring about a friend who has been blinded by "love" and can't seem to grasp the fact that what they had was toxic.

"Why do you have so much against her?" You can just hear the pure displeasure in his voice, him now standing fully as he crossed his arms over his chest, one brow raised at you to prove his annoyance.

You stared right back at him with a straight face, voice low yet firm, "You know exactly why Shawn."

"No I don't. I don't get why you don't like her at all, she makes me happy and I love her. You're my best friend, you should support what makes me happy (Y/N)." You couldn't help but roll your eyes, not even trying to hide it to Shawn as you let out a sarcastic laugh, and this made his jaw clenched.

"Yeah right, happy." You turned your back on him as you carried your bowl of ice cream to the sink, and even though you can't see him, you just know that he was running a palm over his face frustratingly.

"What on earth is your fucking problem?" Shawn said through gritted teeth, voice a deep growl but you didn't bother to face him. This was familiar territory, you already know how frustrated he gets when you speak about his ex in a not so friendly way so him being mad right now, it doesn't faze you in the slightest.

"I don't have a problem Shawn. I just don't think she's good for you. She triggers your anxiety, she makes you doubt yourself, she guilt trips you whenever you don't do exactly as she pleases, and so on, simple as that." You answered casually back still facing him as you continued to clean the dishes, your calmness agitating him even more, but inside, you were slowly losing your cool, especially when he much as well doubts your judgment just because of this girl.

"You know that's not true." Shawn answered though you didn't miss the way his voice wavered slightly, and you know you just hit a nerve. "Now you're just fucking lying to yourself." You shook you head in pure disbelief, turning around to face him, now just seeing how mad he actually was, face all flush with his nostrils flaring, the anger in his eyes very visible as his fist were balled on his sides.

"And what makes it so sure that you aren't doing this for selfish reasons? Because you're jealous that I don't get to spend time with you because I'm with her?"

That was it. Yes, you're in love with him, and yes you're a little bit jealous but you swore in your life that you will not interfere to anyone or anything that will make him happy, as long as it's good and healthy. But what he had with that girl was nowhere near good or healthy.

"So you think that me not liking this brat is just me being selfish? You think I don't want the best for you Shawn? If you think that she makes you the happiest then why do I have dozens of calls from you in the middle of the night when you're either crying or having an anxiety attack because of her? Who listens to you pour your heart out about thinking you're not enough because of something she said? Me Shawn." He looked away, his jaw visibly tightening but you didn't back down as you walk closer to him.

"I can see right through her and I know some of our friends don't like her too, I just happened to have the guts to tell you straight in the fucking face. I care about you a lot, if someone makes you happy then I will support you through and through, but that's just it. She doesn't make you fucking happy. She is not good for you and your mental health. I don't like her because of my own personal reason, I don't fucking like her because she's a goddamn bitch who hurts you and uses you and you're just so fucking bling to see it." Your voice bounced off the white walls, the frustration that's been building up through the months finally exploding as you just can't take it anymore.

"How do you know what's good for me (Y/N)?" Shawn countered, but you can see his anger leaving him, knowing that you were right, you always were, but his pride just wouldn't let up, at least, not yet.

"Because I fucking care about you, you fucking idiot! I want to see you happy because you fucking deserve that, to be content with who you are because you are goddamn enough. It's plain and simple Mendes, there are so many girls out there who can be the best for you, you just tend to be so fucking dumb and choose the ones who clearly don't have the best intentions." You flailed your arms in the air to justify your emotions. While his frustration was slowly leaving his system, yours was just starting to build up, and you knew, if this were to continue, you might slip something you will regret entirely.

"Oh so you think you can choose someone for me then? Who do you think is best for me (Y/N)? If I'm so dumb to choose the right girl, then where do I fucking look to finally get the right one?"

"I don't fucking know Shawn. Maybe you're just too blind to see who actually has your back. To see who has been there for you through everything, to see who has been giving you all they've got just to see you smile. You're just too fucking blind to see what's in front of you Shawn." Red flares started to go up inside your head, telling you to stop, to take what you said back, but it was too late when Shawn looked at you with furrowed brows, his brain starting to slowly catch up to what you're trying to say.

"What do you mean?" He asked softly, feet slowly walking closer to you but your alarms started to go completely off, that this was the worse idea if you continue, so the first action your brain registered was flight. "Forget it. I'm tired, I'm going home." You brushed past him and hurried towards the couch to gather your things, Shawn's voice booming throughout the space as he called after you.

"Hey! We're not done here, don't you dare walk away from me." Shawn followed you, but you were quick to avoid him as you bolted towards the door. "Watch me." You scoffed, but before you could even reach the exit, Shawn's tall figure was already blocking your way. Damn him and his long legs.

"(Y/N) please tell me what's inside of your head." Shawn pleaded, eyes searching for answers as he looked at you with nothing but utter confusion. You don't know what it was, or maybe you do, but with him looking at you with that certain glimmer in his eyes, you blurted out the words that never in a million years did you ever plan on saying it in front of his face.

"I'm fucking in love with you god dammit! And not just in a friendship type of way, it's more than that. I am so fucking in love with you Shawn but I just know you don't feel the same way. There, I said it, and I probably just ruined what we have and you'll probably never speak to me again so I'm fucking leaving." You walk past him, tears brimming in your eyes as you felt your chest slowly tighten up at the fact that you probably just threw your friendship away, that you probably lost him for good.

"(Y/N) wait." You felt Shawn grabbed at your wrist, tugging at it in a quick motion to make you spin around, and your eyes widened when the first thing you felt was his lips pressed up against yours.

You were frozen on your spot for a couple of seconds before your eyes started to flutter close as the feeling of his soft lips started to register inside your brain.

Shawn's arms wrapped itself around your waist as he pulled you even closer to him, yours taking home around his neck, fingers getting lost at the mess of his curls in the back of his head as your lips moved in sync, the kiss soft, gentle yet careful as if both of you were scared to take it up a notch.

You were almost having an outer body experience as you were unable to think straight, mind a fuzzy mess as you keep saying yourself that it's actually happening. Months of thinking about what his lips would feel like, it was finally happening, right in his living space as you kissed, both wrapped around each other like you just can't get enough.

Heavy breaths wear heard as the two of you pulled away. Shawn's forehead pressed against yours as his eyes stared right through you, showing you a mix of emotions that you couldn't pin point which one is which.

A smile started to graze Shawn's pink lips, the tip of his nose nudging yours sweetly before giving you a peck on the lips, and then another and then another until you were giggling in his arms.

"You were so right. You're always right. I have been so blind all this time." Shawn sighed, voice barely above a whisper. You didn’t bother to answer him with words as you captured his lips once again, both of you smiling through the kiss as the night starts what would blossom into a beautiful thing, or burn into ashes as you hadn’t expected it to.

***

It's been two months since your confession, and it was smooth sailing from there, Shawn just being as he is, the sweetest most caring person ever, the only difference is that now, you call him boyfriend instead of best friend.

Never had you ever expected for things to be this way, your wildest dreams coming through as you sat snuggled by his side on the couch in a mutual friend's house, the small get together party kicking off around you while the two of you talked to your friends in the living room, casually catching up about things here and there.

You emptied out your cup as you let out a soft giggle to something Brian had said, Shawn casting his eyes down at you with a proud grin, his soft lips pressing on your forehead as he took your empty come from you. "Want another one angel?" You gave him a grateful nod, his head dipping down to give you a chaste kiss, whispering a soft "I'll be right back," before standing up and making his way towards the kitchen.

You continued to talk with everyone, keeping your end of the conversation whenever someone asks you a thing or two, laughing at random jokes thrown here and there, until you finally realize that the empty space beside you has been like that for quite some time than expected.

"Brian have you seen Shawn?" The ginger boy shook his head no, concern covering his face as he looked around the room, the curly boy nowhere to be seen. "I'm going to look for him." You muttered but didn't wait for any response, standing up from your place and heading towards the kitchen as Shawn did earlier, but when you reached the space, he was not there either, leaving you even more confused than you already were.

Instinctively, you walked towards the back door that headed to the empty backyard since everyone was mostly inside, and when you pushed the door slowly, you felt your body go completely numb as your eyes landed on him, arms wrapped around someone as he presses her against the wall, lips connected in a hungry kiss and you wanted so bad to die right then and there, because it wasn’t just some girl, it was her. Freya, his supposed to be ex.

You wanted to run, to go as far away as possible, or much so as just look away because it fucking hurts, but you can’t. You whole brain just shuts down as you watched the man who you thought loved you back, kiss the girl who left him, making you wonder if any of the things he's done the past months was anywhere near the truth. The tears started running down your face but you stayed still and silent, the pain consuming you whole and dragging you deep into the darkest parts of your head. And as if what was happening in front of you wasn't enough, Shawn spoke,

"Come home with me." The need in his voice was so evident that you almost lost your balance, but he wasn't even done yet, what he said next was the twist of the knife that was already buried in your heart.

"Oh really now? What about your little girlfriend?"

"She means nothing to me. She's just a rebound."

You're whole world came to a gruesome stop at those simple words, the air getting knocked out of your lungs as you a tear escaped your eyes, not being able to believe that out of all people, him, Shawn, the boy who you know like the back of your hand, the one who you handed all of your heart to, would say those words with no hesitation, like it was just a casual lyric to his song.

"Wow. Should've told me that few months ago don't you think Shawn?" Your voice broke, Shawn pulling away from her like she's a disease as he looked at you with horror in his eyes the moment he heard you speak. "(Y/N) I–"

You held up your palms, shaking your head at him as you laugh at the both of them sarcastically, probably looking like a lunatic with your tears running endlessly down your cheeks but you didn't care. "Somehow I'm not surprised." Your voice was dripping in disappointment, the pain already clear in your eyes as you felt nothing but complete betrayal.

You knew it was a bit suspicious that he moved on all of the sudden, but you got blindsided by your love for him, only seeing nothing but good in him, expecting him not to hurt you and he used that against you. He fucking used you.

"Honey please–"

You flinched at his words, and this broke Shawn's heart, and you saw that, but how dare he? He knows what he was doing, why was he acting all hurt now? Because he got caught? You scoffed, legs finally working again as you slowly back away.

"Let her leave Shawn. She's nothing to you right? She looks like nothing anyway." Freya spoke, raising an annoyed brow at you, eyes scanning you from pure disgust, arms crossed over her chest to seem intimidating and you wanted to spat back, but her words hit you like a truck.

"Shut up will you?" Shawn snarled at her, but him defending you now will not work, nothing he will do will ever work as you're to consumed by your own emotions to let anything reason even slip pass. You were closing yourself off now, and it was for the best.

"You know what? You two are meant to be together. You both use people for your own gain." And with that you turned around grabbing the door frame for support but before you could completely disappear, you stopped mid-way as you shot Shawn a sad smile over your shoulder. "You should’ve given me the heads up that I'm just a rebound Shawn. Lessen the blow you know."

You ran back inside the house in full on sobs, grabbing your purse and ignoring the confused looks you earned from the people and the call of your name from the man you were running away from. You bolted towards the door and into the streets before he could reach you, thankful to see a taxi just passing by as you called out for it, Shawn's voice growing nearer and nearer as you slammed the door shut, giving the taxi the address as you drove off, Shawn's figure getting smaller in the rearview mirror as he stood in the middle of the street.

And what make things even more ironic was that your destination was back to his apartment, since you had your things there being that he convince you to move in just a few days prior. You just wish you can pack up and leave just before he gets back.

You were quick on your heels as you pushed the door open, the space no longer feeling welcoming in any sort of way as it was tainted by nothing but memories full of lies. It hurt to think that he had it in him to use you, had the nerve to say that you meant nothing to him. It hurts because he means everything to you. You put him above everyone else, and you hate yourself for being so naïve to think that he actually felt the same way.

You rushed towards your shared bedroom, pulling your luggage out of the closet and shoving your clothes in them, the tears clouding your vision as your body raked with sobs, the pain in your chest burning you slowly but surely, as you cried your heart out. You were too consumed in your own heartache that you didn’t hear the front door open and then close, not until you heard his voice echo through the bedroom walls as he called your name.

"Leave me the fuck alone Shawn. I'm leaving." You said through broken sobs, shoving the few last articles of clothing in the luggage and zipping it up, but before you could even do so, Shawn was quick to rush to your side, hand going to grab yours, "(Y/N) no, please, stop."

"Don't fucking touch me!" You yelled as you stood in your full height hands balled into fist at your sides as the anger radiated off of you, Shawn completely taken aback by your outburst but he backed away, arms up in surrender as tears started to brim in his eyes. "(Y/N) please, I didn't mean what I said back there. Please hear me out angel."

"Stop calling me that." You hissed, eyes shutting close to avoid giving in to him, looking away from him to zip your luggage up completely, hauling it up and rushing towards the door to get away from him, because you know if he starts crying, that'll be it for you. After all, he's your strength but also your weakness in so many levels.

"Baby please, hear me out." Shawn pleaded as he stood in front of you in a few strides, halting your movements and rendering you no other choice but to face him. After everything that you've been through together, you thought Shawn had decency to tell you the truth. He owes that to you, not only as his girlfriend, but first and foremost, his longtime best friend. You'd think he'd be straight up honest with you, tell you what he truly feels right of the bat, but right now, you just don't know anymore.

You gave your all to him, he knew that you were so wrapped around him that he jumped on the opportunity to use that to his gain, to maybe help him move on, or just fill the void that she left, and you felt sick to your stomach because you felt completely and utterly used, and what hurts even more was you were used by your best friend, the person who you trust with your life.

"I never had a chance, did I?" Your voice was small as you looked at him with pain in your eyes, the frown on his face deepening as he tried again to reach for you, but you took a step back. You just can't handle any contact from him right now, because you know that when his skin touches yours, your walls are going to crack and you're going to be forgiving him like it was nothing, and that's what's scaring you the most.

"You did, fuck, you do (Y/N), It's just–"

"She has a bigger chance than me, am I right?" The guilt that flashed across his face was like the truth coming down at you like a ton of bricks. Of course he's going to choose her over you, no matter how much you ease your way into his heart, if he doesn't let you in, if there's still someone there occupying it, then there's no use.

"Did it hurt when you said that? Did you even feel a thing?" You asked, bottom lip trembling as you searched his eyes, watching as his mouth opened and closed with no words coming out of it as he struggled to think of a response, and that in itself was already an answer to you. "Yeah, I thought so. They say actions speak louder than words, but why is it that in this case, your words hurt more than your actions?" The distress in Shawn's face was so clear, as if he just now realize the actual weight of what he's actually done to you, and now he so badly wished he could take the words that left his mouth right back.

"(Y/N) it's not like that." You shook your head at him, having enough of his reasons as your mind closes in itself, looking down as you tried to slowly regain your breathing before meeting his gaze once more.

"I thought I couldn't feel more pain than that moment, but I was wrong, not only about that, but about you." Shawn swallowed the lump in his throat, knowing fully well that he fucked up, so bad. And he wanted to beat himself up for putting you through so much when you had done nothing but be the best person to be there for him, to care for him, to love him unconditionally.

"When you said I meant nothing to you, I really wished you would’ve thought of me as two separate people, one as your girlfriend and one as your best friend, because I hope I mean something to you if not as a girlfriend, then as a best friend Shawn. But when you come and think about it, you can't really separate the two and it's just me as a whole, I just mean nothing to you and that's that." Your tears were an unending stream down your face, and the pain and betrayal in your voice was enough to break Shawn's heart into pieces.

"(Y/N) no, you mean everything to me. You mean the world to me." He croaked out, wanting so badly to hold you, to just have you in his arms even if it's for the last time, but he doesn't want to push his luck, because the fear that covered your eyes when he tried the first time was enough for him to know that you don't want him near, and he will respect that, even if it hurts.

"I really want to believe you, I really do. But you've hurt me Shawn, so much, and I don't think I would be able to trust you again."

Shawn knew that he became the man he wanted so badly not to be. He swore to himself that he wouldn't become the monster that would break a young girl's heart, but he just became exactly that. He hurt the girl who would've given him the world without a second thought, a girl who has been there for him through everything, a girl who has the kindest, heart in all of humanity.

"I'm so sorry. I am so sorry (Y/N), I'm sorry. Please, I don't want to lose you." Shawn's knees buckled as he fell on the floor, looking up at you with pleading, desperate eyes as he cried, and it took every ounce of your strength to keep yourself standing, to not sink into your knees and wrap your arms around him, to tell him it's okay, because in reality, it's just not. So with every will power that you could, you spoke the words that made Shawn realizes what you meant by words hurting more than actions.

"I'm sorry too Shawn, but you already did."

And with that you left, leaving the man you love and will always love crying on the floor, your own tears dropping at the carpet as you rushed towards the elevator.

Two hearts breaking with just simple words. Two people now understanding that words should be used with caution, because no matter what your intent is, if it isn't used correctly, then it well hurt more than an open wound, because words, they cut just like knives. 

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