#also sorry I answered like 4 hours later I was busy (working on my metro system) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

howardpotts · 5 years

Text

A Little Spark - Part 4

Minding your own business

Summary: You go shopping with Wanda and in the evening there’s an unexpected visitor.

Warnings: Smut lol. so much for the unexpected visitor.

Wordcount: 3.314

A/N: So sorry for the delay! I wanted to upload this 2 days ago, but I was literally smashing my head on the table for how bad my writing was. I hope I fixed it. Reblogs and comments are always appreciated! :)

You cried. For a long time you cried. It wasn’t because someone knew. It was because you haven’t ever said it. Not even to yourself in the mirror. Not even when you couldn’t sleep and your thoughts were going crazy. It felt surreal, but most of all, it made you feel like utter shit.

Most people would dream of something like this; to live forever. But it’s no fun when you’re really living forever. Or so, you think. You’re not sure. What if you would grow old without changing looks? You’d die, while people would still think you’re young. It’s a terrifying thought.

Sure, when you were eighteen, you didn’t want to grow up, you wanted to stay young forever. You still did when you didn’t know you weren’t aging. But you hated it now. You tried not to think of losing all the people around you, who will die of age. Losing everything you know. Living forever, without knowing what will happen. It terrifies you, it gives you chills to the bones.

You expected Tony to come by in the evening. To either ask you if what Thor told him was true, or yell at you for not telling him earlier. Or both.

But he didn’t show up. Not in the afternoon and not in the evening. You tried to concentrate on the series in front of you, but you couldn’t. You had so many questions. How did Thor know? What were his thoughts on you? Did he tell Tony? If not, why didn’t he tell Tony? Did he tell anyone at all?

Close to midnight, you tried to switch the button in your head. You had to move away from the thought of someone finding out and creating panic, since that didn’t happen yet. And if it happens, you’ve got your bags packed in two minutes and you will run, never hesitating on going back.

You never had to run and you really weren’t looking forward to the first time, because that will definitely come. May it be in a few days or twenty years.

It’s been twenty-four hours since Thor knew. A whole fucking day and you’re still trying not to freak out over the fact that he could’ve told anyone. Everyone, even.

Today was your day off, so you decided to go shopping. When you told your plans to Wanda at the compound, she asked if she could join. “I need a new dress, been wearing the same one for the last five parties.” It made you smirk. You didn’t mind having someone around. She might even give you good advice in case you were doubting.

The metro stopped in midtown Manhattan, where the shops were waiting for you. You got out of the metro and walked in to the boring grey station, that was soon filled with lots of other people. Even though there was an escalator, you decided it couldn’t hurt to take the stairs. It would be the only exercise you’d get, apart from walking in and out of stores.

“Oh, I’m so glad we’re doing this!” Wanda squealed. Steve told you that Wanda wasn’t this happy when she first joined the Avengers. He told you about her brother, her guilt, her sadness. It was something that made you connect with her very quickly. Over the past few weeks, you’ve grown closer to her. You weren’t sure if she was open for a friendship, but it turned out she was desperate for it.

“Me too! Nothing better than shopping your feelings away”, you joke. She nods, knowing you can joke about the sadness you’re both going through. You might have different stories, but the feeling remains the same.

The first store you entered was ZARA. You roamed the clothing racks, looking for a cute outfit for the fall, along with a dress for Wanda to wear. Beautiful clothes fall through your fingers, but none of it were your style.

Second store you visited, was Urban Outfitters. Again, nothing. Wanda did find a shirt, to which you laughed. “I thought you were looking for a dress?”, you joked. She just pushed you playfully to the side. “Don’t tell Vis”, she laughed.

And so you went on, visited four other stores. Both you and Wanda found a dress. When you saw yours hanging in the racks, all you could think of was one person. Or more specifically; one God.

When you wore it in the changing room, you couldn’t be more pleased. It was revealing, but subtle enough for both of you to know the dress was meant for him. It’s so wrong to think about him while wearing this dress, considering it was a one time – correction, two time – thing. But you couldn’t leave it hanging in the store.

Now, two hours later, you were sitting in a small coffeeshop. It was cosy, only a hand full of people who decided to come here as well. Some were talking, some pulled their laptops out to do some work. A hot cappuccino was in front of you, foam shaped in the way of a heart.

You were talking about nothing in particular, but at least you were distracted.

“How exactly are you with the men? Any love or.. anything else?”, she asks, wiggling her eyebrow at the end of it. You almost choke on your cappuccino, but luckily you know how to keep your cool quick enough. This was not a question you expected.

See, here’s the problem. You’re not sure if you and Thor talk about your little adventure to the rest of the Avengers. Maybe he just wants to keep it a secret, locked away for only you two to remember. You never asked, even though you wanted to. But he kind of distracted you with saying that he knows you’re not aging.

“Uh-“, you stammer, still working out a response in your head, which betrays you. If you just answered a flat ‘no’, she’d leave the topic alone. But now that you didn’t answer, oh boy.

“You do!”, she exclaims, leaning forward, eyes full of excitement. “Tell me all about him, girl. Secrets are safe.”

You roll your eyes at her excitement, laughing when she scoots her chair a bit closer. “Okay! Okay!”, you yield. Her eyes were boring in to you. You couldn’t have possibly said no. Or at least, not to this secret.

“I don’t know how to- just don’t tell everyone okay?”, you say, blush on your face. She nods her head instantly, taking another sip of her coffee. It makes you grin, her enthusiasm lightning your entire mood.

“Me and.. Thor might have had a little adventure after the last Stark party”, you whisper. Cheeks flushed with red, temperature rises ten degrees.

“Oh my god!”, she yells. You grab her arm and shush her, too aware of the people around you. You quickly look around, but everyone was still minding their own business. This was New York after all, no one cares if you scream.

“Sorry, sorry”, she giggles, lowering her voice. “Thor? Oh my- was it a one-time thing?” Her eyes are still big, mouth a bit agape to the news you just brought her.

You shrug. “I don’t know. I think so.” Sadness slowly takes over again, but you don’t show. It’s one thing to tell her you slept with Thor, it’s another to let her show your emotions. And so, you keep on your fake smirk.

“Would you like another.. time?”, she asks as if she could see your emotions. You look in her eyes, a real grin now taking over your face, revealing your answer to her.

“Please don’t tell the others. I’m not even sure if he’d like it if I told you”, you say hastily. Now she’s the one holding your hand. “Y/N, don’t worry. I won’t.”

A relieved sigh leaves your mouth. You take a big gulp from your cappuccino, trying to drink away the nervous feeling that’s still in your belly.

Wanda changes the topic, much to your relief. She starts telling a story about her and Vision, something about a bike, but you can’t bring it to focus on her story. You’re somewhere else with your mind. Thor, your foster parents, your old friends, your ex. It all comes back and you’re not sure why. The only guess you can make of being so on edge again, is that Thor knows your secret.

Wanda starts laughing and you fake one too. Why were you laughing? You try to pull yourself back to reality.

“Oh, Y/N, look!” She points at a shop that’s just across the street. Now a real laugh is coming out of your mouth. “Let’s go there!”, she squeals. She pointed at a lingerie store. You shook your head while laughing, but agreed to go anyway.

“Maybe you can find a sexy set for Thor”, She wiggled her eyebrows while saying it. You nudged her, telling her to shut up. “And besides”, you say, “like I said. It was probably a one-time thing.”

“Yeah. Probably. I’m holding on to that. I want you prepared for any surprise visits.” She gets up to pay for the bill, giving you no chance for a further discussion. You shake your head with a smile on your face.

God you’re so bored. You zap through the channels, not sure what to watch. The news, some dating show, an action movie. You sigh and start Netflix, even though you don’t know if you can find something on there.

A big sigh leaves your mouth. You haven’t been in the mood to do anything. You even ordered a pizza, because you really didn’t feel like cooking. And now, you’re also not sure what kind of movie you want to watch. Action? Romance? Thriller? Drama?

Now, you zap through the movies. Skipping them one by one, a small ‘nope’ leaves your mouth with every skip. Normally, you’d watch your favourite series, since you’re still two episodes behind, but even for that you’re not in the mood.

Your heart stops when you hear a knock on your apartment door. Oh my god. It’s Tony. It has to be. Or at least someone to get you, to take you to a lab, to examine you.

Your eyes leave the door and go to the bedroom. Should you pack your stuff and jump out of the window? Flee and get the first plane to Europe?

Another knock on the door, your heart rate has gone up to a rapid speed. You can feel it bouncing in your throat. You should open.

Your feet move to the door. When you open the door, nerves are spread all over your body. You’re trying to ignore the fact that something bad is behind that door. Shoving it away to the back of your mind.

“Lady Y/N”, Thor greets you. A bigger relief couldn’t wash over your body right now. A silent sigh leaves your mouth, nerves flying out with it, butterflies now taking over.

“Thor”, you say with a trembling voice. You’re still not fully comfortable.

“May I come in?” You nod, taking a step to the side to make room for him. His forearm brushes with yours, leaving a tickling sensation. God, that man does stuff to you that you don’t even understand.

“Why are you here?”

“I was close by and thought you might enjoy my company.” His sincere smile had you smirking. He had no idea how cocky he was.

“Want anything to drink?”, you ask when you walk to the kitchen. This feels like a repeat from the first night he was here. Back then, he only wanted one thing, and ‘a drink’ wasn’t the answer.

“Yes, a beer.”

You pop one out of the fridge and hand it to Thor, who has already taken place on the couch. You’re curious. So many questions float around in your head, but none of them actually come out of your mouth.

“I have been searching for an answer, but I was unable to find it”, he says out of nowhere. You know what he’s talking about, making your heart drop.

“An answer? Where?” You take place next to him on the couch, you can feel his warmth from how close you’re with him. Maybe it was a bit too close. He doesn’t seem to mind, though.

“Doesn’t matter. It’s not there”, he says, looking at his beer as if he’s ashamed. His finger is picking at the sticker. Why is he embarrassed? You didn’t find an answer in ten years, how did he expect to find it in a day?

“Did you tell anyone?”

He looks up, his eyes meeting yours. Again you have to stop yourself from drowning in them. They’re so beautiful, sparking with life. “No. Do you want me-“ “No!”, you exclaim hastily. Oh my god, you couldn’t think of him telling anyone. It sends you straight to an anxiety attack.

“Why don’t you?”, he asks. His body moves in your direction. Knees touching knees, his hand on the back of the couch touching your shoulder. He has to notice what he’s doing to you. Goose bumps all over your body, cheeks flushed red.

“Because they’d take me to a lab and I will never see the light of day again. They’ll test me, but without intention to heal me, since that’d take away the science. I can’t let that happen. I don’t want that to happen.” Now you’re the one who’s playing with her hands and head low of embarrassment.

His hand softly caress your hair, putting a strand of hair behind your hear. “I wouldn’t allow that to happen.”

You look up, the feeling of safety overwhelming you. I wouldn’t allow that to happen. The sentence playing in your head, making you swoon even more for the God.

You don’t have the chance to look him in the eyes, his lips already found their way to yours. Desperately, you give in. A hand moving to his cheek, slowly stroking the stubbles of his beard. It was a sweet and tender kiss, one you didn’t expect to share with him.

He placed both hands on your hips and lifted you on his lap without breaking the kiss. Slowly it became more passionate, more needy. In no time, his hands were under your shirt, stroking over your back.

Within a few minutes, your clothes are on the ground and you’re still straddling him, cock twitching against your clit.

“Is this the real reason you visited?”, you smirk, your hips jerking a little further back. A low growl leaves his mouth, fingers digging into your hips. His eyes darkened, they’re full of lust and desire.

“Yes”, he whispers before pulling you into another hot kiss. Tongue entering your mouth and fighting for dominance. He lets go again. “Is this not great company?”

You chuckle, pulling him back in the kiss, one hand pulling softly in his hair, the other roaming his chest, slowly going down to grab his cock.

Your hips quirk up, your hand helping him position to enter you. Slowly you let yourself down, sometimes hissing when he spreads your walls.

You set a slow pace at first, allowing yourself to get used to his size. But Thor isn’t having it. He throws you on the couch, settling himself between your legs. He’s way quicker, harder, rougher. Slamming in to you as if the world is ending today.

Knot in your stomach building embarrassingly fast. You’re coming over his cock within minutes. Grasping his back, digging your nails into it. Back arching, his names falling of your lips. He rides out your orgasm, proud that he could make you come so fast.

He doesn’t let you rest. He picks you up from the couch, your legs automatically closing around his hips. You kiss on your way to the bed, but you don’t make it till there. He pushes you against the wall just next to the bedroom door.

Fuck, this man is going to be the dead of you. And you don’t even mind. He takes you then and there, again. Against the wall, full force, pushing another orgasm out of you. Making you bite his shoulder, your legs not able to walk without support. You were on the verge of crying; that’s how good it was.

Reaching the bed, he goes down on you, fingers pumping in and out, tongue furiously licking your clit. “Do- Don’t stop”, you whimper. You’re pulling his hair, maybe painfully so. Thor doesn’t care, in fact, he loves it.

He loves how he devours you, ripping a third orgasm out of you with such ease. Your whole body writhed as he tries to keep you in place with his arm. A coy smile on his face while he drinks your juices so eagerly.

For a third time that evening, his cock is buried deeply in to your pussy, walls still stretching with every push. This time, he’s close too. His pushes getting sloppier, less concentrated, but his pace still as steady as the first time.

“Are you coming, dove?”, he asks with gritted teeth. Your hands are holding on to his forearms, muscles as strong as the first time you held them. One of them let go, making their way to your clit. Your finger making fast eights, a fourth orgasm approaching.

“Y-yes, fuck, yes Thor”, you answer him, tears blurring your vision again. He yanks your arm out of the way, leaving you on the edge.

He takes over, a smirk on his face. You know what he’s about to do, so you grab the sheets as a reaction. His pace doesn’t falter, it only speeds.

Some sort of electric wave goes through your body, orgasm so strong that you think you might combust. You scream his name, body shaking uncontrollably. He comes too, painting your walls with his warm load. Low growls, your name falling of his lips, hands clenching around the sheets.

He falls next to you, out of breath, but with a big grin on his face. He pulls you into a hug, hands going through your hair. It makes your heart jump, knowing that he doesn’t mind touching you after sex.

“This is great company, by the way”, you smirk as you lay your head on his chest.

After cleaning up, you talk. Mostly about your aging. He asks you when you discovered it, where you searched, if you want to grow old. You ask him how he knew, to which he answers that he sensed it. The moment he sent those electric waves through your body, he felt something was off. He literally felt that your body wasn’t aging, that it wasn’t growing older.

You admire him for it, for having those kind of strengths. He said that he didn’t even know he had them, but that’s because he never experienced someone like you before. You wondered if he felt the same attraction as you, but you didn’t dare ask. The least you wanted tonight, was rejection.

Slowly you ask him about Asgard, about the life, people, food. You weren’t sure if he wanted to talk about it, since you’re just someone from Midgard. But he face lit up the moment you asked. He told stories.

Some stories were about fights and how he defeated some of the strongest creatures. You chuckled and you were pretty certain of the fact that he sometimes told the stories prettier than they probably were. He also told about his friends, how they drank till the sun came up. How they helped him overcome the biggest challenges and how they helped him grow as a person.

After what feels like hours, you yawn, sleep taking over. A sweet smile on Thor’s face as he tells you it’s okay to go to sleep. “I’ll be there when you wake up”, he assures you.

_______________________________

Tags (so i lost my taglist and i did some out of my head, sorry if you don’t want to be on there. message me if that’s the case):

@thamuddagirl @blaised-zabini @thebookisbtr @thottio @mrscutiefandobhaz@queenoftheunderdark @kind-sober-fullydressed

#thor x reader #thor odinson x reader #thor fanfiction #thor odinson #thor #thor odinson fanfiction #mcu #steeb writes #a little spark #thor odinson x reader smut #thor smut #thor odinson smut

148 notes · View notes

mldrgrl · 6 years

Text

In Another Life 5/7

by: mldrgrl Rating: PG-13 Summary: See Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4

Mulder did his due diligence and spent the week reviewing the files as Blevins had asked. The cases intrigued him and he found himself down rabbit hole after rabbit hole of research. The frustrating thing was knowing he wasn’t able to do anything about cases that were upwards of 60 years old. They sucked up all his time and energy and he hardly gave a thought to anything else. It was only when his sister called him the night before his meeting with Blevins to remind him that Thanksgiving was two weeks away, that he remembered he had an invitation to think about. He was so consumed that he hadn’t even gotten around to telling Samantha the latest news yet.

“How can she be married?” Samantha asked.

“I’m assuming they went to a church, a priest asked do you and do you and he said yes and she said yes, and then they were married.”

“You’re hilarious, Fox.”

“So, I don’t know what I’ll do. Maybe I will go, maybe I won’t.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“You’re just saying that because you want me to come to Rhode Island.”

“True. But, I’m also saying it because she’s married.”

“Maybe I want to meet the guy for myself.”

“Bad idea, Fox.”

“I’m the king of bad ideas. But, truthfully, I haven’t even really given it much thought. I’m absorbed in something for work right now and I haven’t even thought about her.”

“If you say so.”

“I do say so. And I have to hang up now because I need to prep for a meeting in the morning.”

“Okay, love you.”

“You too.”

The next morning, Mulder paced the anteroom outside of Blevins’ office, waiting to be seen. The old secretary gave him the evil eye as she opened mail. Mulder stopped and sat down, thinking that perhaps the woman’s age and size, she just might be capable of stabbing him with her letter opener. Blevins admitted him a short time later and the first thing Mulder noticed was a TV and VCR on a cart in the corner, making the cramped room even more cramped.

“How did you find the x-files, Agent Mulder?”

“Fascinating, Sir. Given the opportunity, I’d like to do more work on-”

“I don’t need any speeches,” Blevins interrupted. “I want to know if you’re interested on working these cases full time.”

“What would it entail, exactly? I don’t even know what the x-files really are.”

“What do you think they are?”

“Judging by what you gave me, I’d say they are cases with am underlying paranormal element to them, or at the very least, an unexplainable phenomenon or event that warrants investigation. But, the thing is, no one has done any real investigating. They’ve just provided a record of events without any real attempt at solving anything.”

“There is real challenge in trying to solve the unsolvable, isn’t there, Agent Mulder?”

“Challenge, yes, but I believe anything is possible with enough diligence.”

“Tenacity is exactly what I’m looking for.”

The phone on Blevins’ desk buzzed and he picked it up. “Yes? Yes, send her in.”

To Mulder’s surprise, Scully opened the door a few moments later. There was equal surprise on her face when she saw Mulder, but she quickly looked away and went to shake the section chief’s hand.

“Sir,” she said. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise. You’re just in time, I was about to brief Agent Mulder on a case assignment.”

“Should I wait outside?” she asked, stopping at the second empty chair in the room.

“Not at all,” Blevins answered. “You’ll be on this assignment as well.”

Scully raised a brow at Mulder as she sat down. She’d dressed for the meeting, he could tell, in a navy skirt and blazer. Her hair was more curled than usual and her makeup was a tad more obvious.

Blevins pulled the TV cart out from the corner of the room and turned the TV on. He took up a remote and then went back to his desk and pressed play on the VCR. “You’re looking at footage of a team of scientists in Alaska working on the Arctic Ice Core Project. They were sent up there by the government's Advanced Research Project Agency nearly a year ago to drill into the Arctic ice.”

On the screen was a staticky image of five men standing a beer keg, holding Dixie cups, raised up as to give a toast. The man in the middle spoke to the camera. “Team Captain John Richter here,” he said. “It's been a couple of frustrating months, but after a great deal of stick-with-it-ness, we're very proud to report that as of a half-hour ago, we surpassed the previous record for drilling down into an ice sheet.”

The men all cheered, and one tossed his ball cap up in the air. They high-fived each other and shook hands after downing the beer in their Dixie cups. Blevins paused the videotape.

“The samples they removed contained trapped gases, dust, and chemicals,” Blevins said. “Evidence that could reveal the structure of the earth's climate back to the dawn of man.”

“That would be an amazing discovery,” Scully said.

“Indeed,” Blevins agreed. “Their work was a success, nearly completed. No reports or indications of problems of any kind until roughy a week ago, this next transmission was received.” He pressed play again and a few seconds later, the screen on the TV went blue, and then the man called Richter appeared again, sitting in front of the camera. He leaned in close so that his face filled the screen.

“November 5th, 1993, I think,” Richter said, breathing hard, in some sort of distress. His speech was broken into fragments as he took deep breaths between nearly every word. “We're not who we are. We're not who we are. It goes no further than this. It stops right here, right now.”

Suddenly, Richter was pulled out of the screen by another man, so quickly that it seemed to happen in a blur. The camera fell over and the screen went blue again.

“What happened up there?” Mulder asked.

“So far,” Blevins said. “No one’s been able to reach the compound because of bad weather.”

“Is it severe isolation distress?” Scully asked.

“These are top geophysicists,” Blevins explained. “They were trained and screened for this project in every way imaginable, including psychological makeup. You’ll leave for Nome today.”

“I’m sorry,” Scully said. “Nome? Alaska?”

“From there you’ll meet with three other scientists familiar with the project, and then you’ll head north to Icy Cape. The National Weather Service reports a three-day window to get in and out before the next Arctic storm.”

“Guess I need to pack my mittens,” Mulder said.

“That’s all,” Blevins said, dismissing them both. “Mildred has your airline tickets at her desk.”

Mulder got up from his seat, followed by Scully. He held the door open for her and then smoothed his tie down his chest as he cleared his throat to get Mildred’s attention. Thankfully, the letter opener was no longer in her hand.

“You have airline tickets for us?” he asked.

Mildred handed them over and Mulder passed them to Scully while flashing the secretary a smile. Her glare was impenetrable.

“Long time, no see,” Mulder said to Scully as they waited for the elevator.

“I suppose we’ve both been busy.”

“Yeah, there’s...there’s actually something I’ve been working on that I want to tell you about.”

Scully nodded, but her focus was on the itinerary in her hand.

“What’re you thinking?” he asked.

“Alaska?” she answered. “Now?”

“Dress warm.”

******

Mulder never traveled all that much for work; not by plane, anyway. He was accustomed to rental cars and the DC Metro area, with occasional forays along the eastern seaboard. The furthest he’d ever been, for work, was Jacksonville.

He arrived at Dulles with only minutes to spare before boarding. Scully was already at the gate, in the same suit she’d been in during their meeting with Blevins. He’d changed into jeans, a thermal shirt, and a sweater while he’d gone home to pack.

“Hey, Scully,” he said, dropping his bag in the seat next to her. “Ready to explore The Last Frontier?”

“I thought that was space.”

“Some nerd you are. Space is the final frontier.”

“Oh.”

“Something wrong?” He shoved his bag aside and sat down next to her.

“Why am I being sent along?”

“I imagine it’s because those scientists are presumed dead.”

“Why wouldn’t Blevins say that?”

“No one ever wants to speak about worst case scenarios. They just plan for them silently and hope that things turn out okay.”

The agent behind the ticket counter announced boarding for their flight and they both stood. Mulder grabbed his bag. Scully retrieved a small duffel from under her seat. It didn’t look nearly large enough to accommodate winter clothing and all the things women seemed to need when traveling. Maybe she’d checked a suitcase as well.

“You didn’t have anything to do with it, did you?” Scully asked, as they moved into the line with the other passengers checking in.

“I found out about it at the same time you did. What’s your seat assignment?”

“10A.”

He tried to keep the disappointment out of his voice. “16C. Guess I’ll see you on the other side.”

Mulder settled into his aisle seat and did what he always did on airplanes; fiddled with the airflow, tested the overhead light, and rifled through the seatback pocket to see if the magazines were any good. To his surprise, Scully came down the aisle a few minutes later and stuffed her bag in the overhead bin above him.

“I found 16B,” she said. “We traded.”

Mulder stepped out into the aisle to let her pass and then sat down beside her. She latched her seatbelt right away and then went through the seatback pocket as well. She moved the vomit bag from the behind the array of safety cards to the front of the pocket.

“Someone left a People at my seat,” he offered.

“I should warn you, I’m not a great flyer.”

“Okay.” Samantha wasn’t a great flyer either, but mostly during turbulence and landing. She once squeezed his hand so fiercely he thought his fingers might break. “Is it something specific? Take off? Landing? Turbulence?”

“Yes.” She took a deep breath and blew out slowly. “I took a couple Dramamine after I got here. Hopefully it will help.”

Mulder wondered for a moment if she’d sacrificed the comfort of a window seat just to sit with him. Some people need to be able to see where they’re going to feel more secure. Or maybe sitting with someone she knew was what she needed.

“Hey,” he said. “How’d you get 16B to trade with you?”

“I told him we’d been separated by accident and if he wouldn’t mind, could we trade so I could sit with my partner.”

Partner? He wanted to ask, but didn’t. The cabin doors closed and no one came to claim the window seat in their row. If she wanted, she could move over and take it, but she didn’t. She stayed next to him, gripping the armrests with white knuckles when they took off, and then sleeping through meal service and two in flight movies on his shoulder. She woke slowly, minutes after the captain had announced their descent into Nome. Her head lolled slightly and she rubbed her cheek against his arm. He wanted to brush the hair away from her face, but kept his hand closed into a loose fist in his lap.

“Morning, Sunshine,” he whispered to her when she finally stretched and came to.

“Where are we?” she asked, groggy, eyelids droopy.

“About to land. You missed the riveting Last Action Hero and the critically acclaimed Free Willy. I’d like you to know the latter did not in any way tug at my heartstrings and I didn’t cry at all.”

Scully smiled slightly with her eyes closed. Her head slipped to the side again so she was resting against his shoulder, but she wasn’t asleep. He cautiously put his hand over hers where it lay on the armrest and her fingers twitched gently, but she didn’t move. They stayed that way until the plane landed, despite the alarm bells going off in Mulder’s head of how wrong it was.

******

The Nome airport was small and seemed rather desolate. Outside, Mulder could see the snow on the ground and feel the chill in the air when the cabin door opened. He pulled his jacket out of his bag and offered it to Scully, but she shook her head and said she’d change in the restroom and just be a few minutes.

The fact that she went into the airport restroom in a dress suit and heels, with a small duffel, and came out dressed in leggings, snow boots, a flannel shirt, and oversized white parka, should have probably been in one of the x-files Mulder had read over the week. All in less than five minutes too. It had to be some sort of world record.

“As if you’re not already amazing enough,” Mulder said to himself while Scully was too far off to hear him.

“I’m ready,” she said.

“Yeah, I’ll say.” He didn’t even ask how she accomplished such a feat. Some mysteries should probably remain unsolved.

They were directed to a hangar on the grounds of the airport to meet the remainder of their team and wait for their connecting flight. Two men and a woman, dressed warmly and with duffel bags of their own, were already in the hangar. They introduced themselves as Murphy, Hodge, and DaSilva; a geologist, a physician, and a toxicologist, respectively. A tall, burly man with dark curly hair came towards them and announced that he was their pilot and his name was Bear. The name suited him. Mulder saw Scully pale a bit at the sight of the single engine plane that was going to take them to Icy Cape. He put his hand on her back in support.

It was about an hour’s ride to the bunker where the ice core project made their camp. It was a bumpy ride, and Mulder kept close to Scully. She looked a little green during some of the more harrowing dips the plane took, but she bore it stoically and quietly. He noticed she was a bit shaky once her feet were on solid ground.

The landing strip was a short, five-minute walk to the entrance of the bunker. The team, including the pilot, lugged their gear across the snowy terrain. The door was stuck, iced at the seams, and it took two of them, Mulder and Hodge, to push it open. Six flashlights shined in unison into the dark room and they were greeted by the sight of two dead men on the ground, guns beside them. Mulder recognized one of them as the project leader from the tape, the man named Richter.

Scully pushed past Mulder and entered the interior chamber where the bodies lay. Her work there had begun the minute the door opened.

“Before anyone touches anything, we need to document the scene,” she said, crouching next to Richter’s body. “There’s a camera in my bag. Mulder, could you get that please. Someone try to find a way to turn the power back on.”

“Anything to get out of here,” Murphy, the geologist said, and turned to leave. He was tall, thin, and Mulder had him pegged as a nervous, anxious type.

“There are body bags on the plane,” Bear said.

“What should we do?” DaSilva asked. She was the toxicologist. Her blonde hair was tucked under a ski cap and she clapped her gloved hands together.

“Start taking pictures,” Scully answered, nodding towards her when Mulder went to hand over the camera he’d dug out of her bag.

A loud bang sounded from outside and then a light bulb suspended from the ceiling by a long electrical cord flickered on, casting a dull orange glow. Murphy came back and lingered in the doorway. Hodge kept waving his flashlight around the room. He landed on a cluster of barrels labeled Ice Cores 3,175 - 3,260.

“That’s what they were drilling for,” Mulder said.

“I need to preserve some samples,” Murphy said, pushing past Hodge to get to the barrels. Obviously, the work excited him and made him forget about the bodies.

Before he could get too far, Mulder heard a low growl and he threw his arm out, stopping Murphy from passing. “Wait,” he said.

A dog, fur standing at attention and back arched in a threatening pose, slunk into the room, teeth bared. Murphy yelped and then jumped back. The dog lunged and hit Mulder in the chest, knocking him back.

“Hey!” Bear yelled, kicking the dog off of Mulder. The dog lunged at Bear and bit his hand. Bear screamed.

Mulder yanked his jacket off and threw it over the dog’s head, subduing him. Hodge came running towards them with a hypodermic needle in his hand and plunged it into the dog’s nape. The dog yelped, whimpered, kicked his legs, and then went still.

“Are you okay?” Scully asked, cupping Mulder’s elbow.

“I’m fine.” He nodded towards Bear. “His hand is bleeding.”

“Is he rabid?” Murphy asked. “What if there are more rabid dogs here?”

Hodge, who was examining the dog, shook his head. “I don’t see any indication of glottal spasm or tetany. If it is rabies, it's certainly not a strain I'm familiar with.”

“Look at that,” Scully pointed to bottom of the dog’s paws. “Black nodules.”

“And swollen lymph nodes,” Hodge added.

“Those are symptoms of the bubonic plague,” Mulder said.

“The plague!” Murphy cried.

“Now, calm down,” Mulder told him.

Hodge stood and brushed his knees with both hands. “I’ll do a blood test. That’ll tell us more.”

“The dog’s got a skin irritation on his neck,” Mulder said. “Looks like he’s been scratching out his own hair.”

“What the hell is that?” DaSilva said, pointing to the dog’s neck.

Underneath the skin where the dog has scratched himself, a bump rippled over his vertebrae. The bump receded and then rippled again.

The small group, minus Bear who was sitting against the wall and clutching his hand to his chest, stood over the dog, puzzled and concerned.

******

Mulder and Hodge, on Scully’s orders, moved the two bodies from the interior chamber to the main laboratory, where the found the bodies of the remaining members of the ice core project. She set up a makeshift autopsy table and went to work. Each member of their little team went off to perform their own specialties. Murphy started analyzing the ice core samples. Hodge examined the bloodwork of the dog. DaSilva checked for the presence of toxins. Mulder helped Bear wrap his bleeding hand and then went poking around into areas he had no business in, that was his specialty, after all. The only noteworthy thing he found was on a bathroom mirror, written in black marker: WE ARE NOT WHO WE ARE.

“Find anything,” he asked Scully when she came out of the curtained area she’d commandeered for herself to do the autopsies.

“From the autopsies, it's clear that these men killed each other,” she answered, peeling off her gloves. “There are contusions around the throat areas of three men, evidence of strangulation. Richter and Campbell killed themselves. I also found tissue damage due to fever.”

“Did any of them have black spots like the dog?” Murphy asked.

“No. None of them had the black nodules.”

“Then those spots didn’t have anything to do with those guys killing each other?” Bear asked. He sat in the corner of the room, sweaty and pale. He looked like he might be sick.

“I wouldn't rule it out,” Hodge replied, pushing past a set of plastic flaps that separated one part of the lab from the other. “I just reexamined the dog. The nodules are gone.”

“What does that mean?” Mulder asked.

“Well, it could mean that the spots are a symptom of some disease at an early stage.”

“There’s one other thing that should be noted,” Scully said. “Hodge, you might want to take a look at it.”

“What?” he asked.

“There seems to be a presence of ammonium hydroxide in Richter's blood sample.”

“That’s impossible. Ammonia would vaporize at human body temperature.”

“I’ve analyzed two samples already.”

Hodge narrowed his eyes and followed Scully to a worktable with a high-powered microscope on it. DaSilva emerged from the hall that led to the sleeping quarters, followed by Murphy.

“I didn’t find any evidence of toxins in the air filtration systems,” she announced.

“But, I did,” Murphy countered. “In the ice. I found a high ratio of ammonia to water in the ice core. The earth's atmosphere could never have produced such high levels, not even a quarter of a million years ago.”

“Not unless a foreign object was introduced into that environment,” Scully said.

Murphy nodded and asked to take over the microscope. He exchanged the slide that Scully and Hodge were analyzing for one of his own, made some adjustments to the focus, and then offered the lens back to Scully. She peered into it and then looked up like she was startled.

“Tell me that’s not a foreign object,” Murphy said.

Hodge took a look after Scully and then Mulder had his turn. To him, it looked like some sort of worm was wiggling around on the slide, flipping its tail back and forth. He moved away so DaSilva could look as well.

“That same thing is in Richter’s blood,” Scully said, she walked around the table as though she was talking a theory out to herself. “What if that single-celled organism is the larval stage of a larger animal?”

“Kind of a leap, don’t you think?” Hodge said, taking another turn at the microscope.

“The evidence is right there,” she argued, pointing at the slides on the table.

“Maybe the organism in the ice core somehow got into the men,” Murphy offered.

“Come on,” DaSilva scoffed. “Nothing can survive subzero temperatures for a quarter of a million years.”

“That we know of,” Scully said, looking at Mulder, who nodded.

“Unless that’s how it lives,” he said.

Bear stumbled to his feet, interrupting the pow-wow over the worm. “Look here,” he grumbled. “I don't see why you're squabbling over some bug. You said it yourself, Scully, those men killed each other. That's it. You all found what you came for, now let's just get the hell out of here.”

“I agree.” Hodge nodded. “We can have the bodies sent to a facility where they can make a definitive diagnosis in the event that something was missed, Agent Scully.”

Mulder saw Scully bristle. She crossed her arms over her chest and stared up into Hodge’s face. “If those bodies are infected with an unknown organism, we can't remove them, Doctor Hodge,” she said. “We can't go back without proper quarantine procedures. We can't risk bringing back the next plague.”

“Let's say you're right,” Bear interjected, wiping sweat off his brow. “They came down with something. We haven't, and I ain't waiting around until we do.”

“I think it's perfectly safe to go back,” Hodge added. “We've taken all the necessary biological safeguards. There’s no reason to suspect we’re infected.”

“But, the dog bit Bear,” Murphy pointed out.

“It jumped on Mulder too!” Bear yelled.

“It didn’t break the skin,” Mulder argued.

Bear snarled and took a few aggressive steps towards Mulder, but both Hodge and Scully intervened and pushed him back.

“Listen,” Scully said, holding her arms out as though refereeing both sides of the room. “There's only one way to proceed, here. We have to eliminate every possibility and determine if any of us is infected.”

“Parasitic diagnostic procedure requires that each of us provide a blood and a stool sample,” Hodge told her, raising his brows.

Not to be deterred, Scully went over to a shelf in the lab and came back with an armful of sterile jars. She placed them down on the table and glared at Hodge, almost daring him to challenge her.

“Anyone got the morning sports section?” Mulder asked, attempting the break the tension in the room. He grabbed one of the jars and nodded to Hodge.

“I ain’t dropping my cargo for no one,” Bear growled, swiping up one of the jars and hurling it at the wall where it shattered on impact.

Both Murphy and DaSilva jumped and yelped.

“What I'm doing is getting my gear, getting my plane and flying the hell out of here.”

“You can’t do that,” Mulder said. “The dog bit you.”

“I got hired to fly you up here and fly you back. No one said this might be part of the deal. So, the deal is over.”

Bear stormed off to the sleeping quarters, where they’d all found a place to put their things. Scully moved to go after him, but Mulder put a hand on her shoulder and held her back. He was fairly certain Bear was sick, if not infected. There was no telling what he might do.

“We can't let him leave without being checked,” Scully said, shrugging Mulder’s hand off her shoulder.

“Who’s going to stop him?” Murphy asked.

“We have to,” Scully argued. “We can’t risk infecting the population.”

“If he gets on that plane, I’m going with him,” DaSilva said.

“We don’t have time to argue about this!” Scully hissed. “You want a majority rule on this? Fine, let’s take a vote. Whoever thinks we should confine Bear until he’s been examined, raise your hand.”

Murphy’s hand was the first one to shoot up in the air, followed by Scully. She looked at Mulder with a tight expression on her face, one that said, ‘if you don’t raise your hand, I will not hesitate to kill you,’ so he slowly put his hand in the air as well. Hodge sighed and then raised his hand. The only hold out was DaSilva.

“I guess that takes care of that,” Mulder said. He removed his weapon from his holster and flipped the safety off. Beside him, Scully did the same.

Bear stomped into the lab dragging a black bag with him and his coat over his arm. Scully trained her gun at him and he snorted.

“Bear,” Mulder said, using the even tone he’d been taught in hostage negotiation tactics. “We just want to check you out. If we don’t find any trace of a parasite or virus, we’ll let you go. We’ll all go.”

“Gimme the damn jar,” Bear growled.

Mulder holstered his gun and picked up one the jars. He handed it to Bear who stared at it for a few moments and then without warning, smashed it into Mulder’s head. Mulder groaned, but he instinctively brought the flat of his hand up into Bear’s nose. Bear yelled and stumbled back, giving Mulder the time and advantage he needed. He grabbed his arm, twisted it back behind him, and slammed Bear’s head down onto the worktable. He had a strong grip on Bear’s wrist and thumb, so that when he tried to wrestle free, his arm and hand bent back in opposing directions, maximizing his pain.

“Handcuffs would be nice right now,” Mulder complained. His temple throbbed where Bear had hit him.

“I have rope,” Scully announced.

As she worked to secure Bear’s hands, DaSilva stepped up next to Mulder and gasped. “Oh my god!” she cried. Mulder looked at the back of Bear’s neck where the skin rippled just like the dog’s had.

“Get my bag!” Hodge cried, pressing his hand down on Bear’s neck just below the ripple.

“What’re you doing?” Mulder yelled.

“I’m gonna cut it out!”

“We don’t know enough about it!”

“It’s killing him! Help me!”

Scully had grabbed a pair of gloves in the pandemonium, and she leaned over Mulder’s arm and hold the skin on Bear’s neck taut. Hodge grabbed a scalpel from the bag DaSilva brought him and began to slice through the skin. Mulder turned his head, gagging a little. Beneath him, Bear was screaming and spasming.

“Forceps!” Hodge yelled.

When Mulder turned to look again, Hodge was slowly easing a worm-like creature from the back of Bear’s neck. The worm writhed, pinched in the beak of the forceps, and splattered Bear’s neck with drops of black liquid.

“Hold still, Bear,” Mulder said. “You’re gonna be okay.”

DaSilva pushed a jar into the foray and Hodge dropped the worm inside, sealing it quickly. Bear stopped squirming and let out a sigh akin to relief, and then went limp on the table. He’d passed out.

******

The CB radio in the bunker was at a little station off the side of the laboratory. Mulder flipped it on and sent out a distress call. “This is the AICP Investigative Team calling Doolittle Airfield,” he said. “Come in, Doolittle Airfield.”

“DAF responding,” came the reply.

“This is Agent Mulder, we have a serious biological hazard on our hands. Request air pick-up and quarantine procedures, over.” The radio replied with static, and Mulder tried again. “Come in, Doolittle Airfield.”

“We copy, Agent Mulder. Your area is under a heavy storm and no aircraft can get out until the next day. Maybe the military base in Kotzebue can set up a quarantine. Advise immediate evacuation, the Arctic storm is bearing in your direction, over.”

“We were told we would have three clear days of weather, over.”

“Welcome to the top of the world, Agent Mulder. Over.”

Mulder tipped the microphone over onto the table in frustration. He laced his fingers together and brought them to the back of his head. His temple throbbed endlessly. He pushed out of his chair and went back into the lab.

“Is Bear in any condition to fly?” he asked. “If we don’t get out of here within an hour, we won’t be getting out for days.”

Scully looked down at her gloved hands. They were covered in blood. Hodge turned away.

“Bear’s dead,” Scully said.

******

Scully and Hodge spent the next hour studying the worm while Mulder, with the assistance of both squeamish and jittery Murphy and DaSilva, moved the bodies of the research team, and Bear, into the frigid interior chamber. It was difficult and laborious and it made Mulder’s head hurt even more. Hodge and Scully sat at the worktable comparing notes when the last body bag had been laid out.

“Well,” Hodge explained. “It's similar to a tapeworm in that it has a scolex with suckers and hooks.”

“It’s a tapeworm?” Murphy asked. “Then you know what to do about it.”

“I said similar to a tapeworm. But, also, very different from any organism that I know of.”

“Have you figured out how it’s transmitted yet?” Mulder asked.

“Exchange of fluids, touch, air, all of the above? I don't know.” Hodge shrugged.

Scully slid a jar across the table. “All of the other dead bodies had the creature,” she said. “This is the only one that's still alive.”

“Were they all in the spine?” Mulder asked.

“No. It appears that they were in the hypothalamus gland deep in the brain.”

Murphy closed his eyes. “Hypothalamus? That’s the…”

“It's a gland that secretes hormones,” Hodge supplied. “I don't know why a parasite would want to attach to it.”

“The hypothalamus releases acetylcholine, which produces violent, aggressive behavior,” Scully theorized. She paused for a moment and then nodded to herself. “That might be the connection. Everybody that's been infected certainly seems to act aggressively. Maybe the worm feeds on the acetylcholine which floods our capacity to control violent behavior.”

“A parasite shouldn’t want to kill its host,” Mulder said.

“It doesn't kill you until it's extracted,” Hodge said. “Then it releases a poison.”

“You're saying it's possible that the worm makes you want to kill other people, which is maybe what happened to the first team.”

“What if it happens to us?” DaSilva asked.

Hodge put up his hands to alleviate any worries. “This is just a theory. We don’t have any definitive proof of anything.”

“Except five dead men,” Murphy reminded them.

“But,” Hodge countered at Scully. “If the worm makes people violently aggressive, why did Richter and the other guy we found in the chamber-”

“Campbell,” Scully supplied, tiredly rubbing her forehead.

“Why did they kill themselves?”

“Maybe they did it to save us,” Mulder said.

No one responded. They all looked around at each other in awkward silence.

“Why don’t we get some sleep,” Mulder suggested. “I think we’re all a little wired and hypersensitive. We can get a fresh start in the morning.”

“I need to check the bodies,” Scully said. “Maybe I missed something.”

******

Mulder waited until the rest of the group had gone to bed to join Scully in the chamber. She was bent over the unzipped body bag that Bear had been placed in, cheeks ruddy from the cold. He crouched down next to her and put his hand on her shoulder.

“Why don’t you get some sleep, Scully?”

“I’m too tired to sleep, Mulder.”

“You should try. It’ll do you good.”

“I don’t want to waste a second trying to figure out what this thing is.”

“Look, I want to kill it too-”

“I don’t want to kill it.” She looked up at him and cocked her head. “I want to study it.”

“But…”

“Mulder, this area of the ice sheet was formed over a meteor crater. The thing, whatever it is, lived in ammonia. It survived sub-zero temperatures. Theorists in alternative life-designs believe in ammonia-supported life systems on planets with freezing temperatures.”

“Are you telling me you think that thing is some kind of alien?” Mulder nearly chuckled, but her face was stony and serious.

“I’m saying that the meteor that crashed here a quarter of a million years ago may have carried that type of life to Earth.”

“Scully, Bear developed surface symptoms within a few minutes. I saw him change. He was sweaty and agitated. He looked flu-like. Within a few hours, that parasite had total control. What would happen if this got into the population? A city the size of New York could be infected within a few days.”

“Exactly. But what do we know about it? This organism might be lying dormant in another crater. We need to study it, to find out how it works, so we know how to deal with it in the future, if another one surfaces.”

“I don’t want to run the risk of ending up like Richter and Campbell. Do you?”

“No.” She lowered her eyes and gave her head a few shakes from side to side.

“I think we need to take those bodies, worms and all, and incinerate them.”

“Mulder, you told me you believed that a scientist persists, and that’s why new discoveries are made every day. You even told me you thought I could be the one to make such a discovery.”

“Yeah, but I wasn’t…”

“You don’t believe that? Or you were just telling me something you thought I wanted to hear?”

“I do believe it. I just think this might be a little more dangerous than...than...I don’t know what. I don’t want you to get hurt. I mean, I don’t want any of us to get hurt.”

Scully got to her feet and stared down at Mulder. “Don’t patronize me, Agent Mulder,” she spat.

“Hey!” Mulder jumped up and followed at her heels into the laboratory. He stopped short when Hodge and DaSilva blocked their way. Both had their arms crossed like disappointed parents.

“You okay, Agent Scully?” DaSilva asked. “You seem a bit stressed.”

“I’m fi...just what the hell are you implying?”

“Everybody calm down,” Mulder urged. “We’re all tired and scared, but that’s no reason to turn on one another.”

“She got Bear’s blood on her,” DaSilva accused.

“We all just need to get some sleep,” Mulder said.

“You kidding?” Hodge scoffed. “You think any of us could sleep right now? Let's face it, we've got to check for spots. Any person or persons who has them should be confined. Are we agreed on that?”

“Are you doing the exams?” DaSilva asked.

“No,” Scully said, sharply. “We do them on each other.

******

“Before anyone passes judgement, may I remind you we are in the Arctic,” Mulder told Hodge and Murphy as he undid his belt. Getting naked in front of two strange men was not high on his list of things to do, but for the threat of biological contamination, he’d do what he had to do. Hodge examined both Mulder and Murphy and Mulder examined Hodge. They did not find any evidence of black spots or ripples under their skin.

Throughout the process, Mulder was less concerned for himself than he was for Scully. In case either Murphy or Hodge had turned out to be infected, he had backup in the whoever wasn’t contaminated, but Scully only had herself. He waited for the results of their examinations rather impatiently, trying not to let his level of agitation show.

When they all came back clear, the team seemed to noticeably relax a bit and agreed that they should head to bed. The rooms Mulder and Scully had dropped their bags in were across from one another. Mulder held her back a little as they all shuffled off to the sleeping quarters and stood next to her door as she opened it.

“Hey,” he said, quietly. “If you thought I was implying that you couldn’t take care of yourself earlier, it isn’t what I meant.”

“I know that. I apologize for snapping, I’m just…”

“On a short fuse right now. I think we all are.”

“Yeah.” She nodded.

“Well,” he said, crossing the hall to his own door. “If you need anything, you know where to find me.”

“Good night, Mulder.”

“Don’t let the bed bugs bite,” he said, wryly.

“Mulder,” she said, waiting until he’d turned back to look at her. “Don’t forget, the spots on the dog went away.”

He nodded, but the warning was clear. No one was out of the woods yet. He closed the door softly behind him and then leaned against it for a long time before he crawled into bed.

******

Mulder woke with a start, his eyes flying open to the shadows on the ceiling. The desk lamp he’d left on still glowed. His gun was still on the table where he left it. He heard a noise, like the sound of a door closing, and he swung his legs out of bed and searched the floor for his shoes. It was probably nothing, maybe one of the others using the facilities, but he decided to check it out anyway. He was down to his thermal shirt and jeans, but he was warm from sleep and didn’t bother with his sweater.

Slowly, Mulder crept down the hall, his gun at his hip and flashlight guiding the way. He saw that Murphy’s door was open, but the rest were closed. As he passed by, he shined the light inside the room, but it was empty. The lights in the lab were still on so he tucked his flashlight in his pocket and looked around. The infected dog, having been confined to a kennel after being subdued and examined, was now awake, growling low in the corner. He hears something, like a leaky faucet, and he looks around for the source.

Beneath the large, walk-in freezer, something dripped steadily into a small puddle on the floor. Mulder eyed the dark liquid with trepidation and then opened the freezer. Murphy’s body, throat slashed and still oozing blood, fell out onto him. He yelped and lowered the body to the ground, just as Scully, Hodge and DaSilva ran in.

“Mulder!” Scully cried. “What are you doing?”

“Murphy’s dead,” he said, nodding down at the body in his arms.

“You killed him?” Hodge accused.

“I found him like this! I heard a door close and I came out to check. It’s one of you.”

“You’re lying,” DaSilva said.

“He could’ve done it and not even known,” Hodge said.

“No, he said he didn’t do it,” Scully defended.

“I don’t have any of the symptoms,” Mulder added.

“You examined him yourself, Hodge,” Scully reminded.

Hodge scoffed. “Six hours ago.”

“It was one of you!” Exhausted and angry at the accusations being thrown at him, Mulder jumped to his feet and took a few steps at Hodge, whipping his gun out and pointing it at him. Scully intervened so that she was standing between the two men.

“Stop it!” she yelled. “Stop it right now. Mulder, put the gun down and let Hodge give you a blood test.”

“So he could doctor the results? I’m not letting him near me with a needle, he could be infected!”

“He has to be confined, right now,” Hodge ordered.

“Turn around and let us look at your neck,” Scully said.

All this time he’d thought Scully was the only one he trusted, but she was siding with Hodge and DaSilva. It was disappointing and his feelings were hurt. He waved his gun and shook his head.

“I'm not turning my back on anyone! As far as I'm concerned, you're all infected!”

“Hodge is right,” DaSilva said. “We need to lock him up.”

While Mulder was distracted by glaring at DaSilva, Hodge had grabbed a crowbar from the worktable and lunged and Mulder. Mulder jumped back and aimed his gun at Hodge. Scully pulled her gun out and aimed it at Mulder, much to his shock and dismay.

“Mulder!” she yelled.

“Scully, get that gun off me!”

“Listen to me,” she pleaded.

“Put it down!”

“You put it down first!”

“Scully, for god’s sake it’s me!”

“You may not be who you are.” She begged him with her eyes to lower his weapon.

It was a struggle, and he broke into a sweat fighting his impulses, but he put his arm down and turned his weapon over to Scully, holding the butt out to her. She holstered it and kept her own aimed at him.

“The storage room,” Hodge said.

“Come on.” Scully nodded, moving forwards while Mulder moved backwards towards the little room off the side of the lab. He was still not about to turn his back on any of them.

DaSilva ran ahead and opened the sliding door to the room. Mulder shifted his body to a bit of an angle so he could see every one of them as he backed into the room. He pulled the string for the overhead light bulb and it swayed above him. He caught Scully’s gaze and held it.

“In here,” he said. “I’ll be safer than you.”

Someone slid the door shut between them and he heard them drop the bolt in the lock. Scully still hadn’t lowered her gun. It was devastating.

******

Hours passed. Exactly how long, Mulder wasn’t sure. At a certain point, he’d turned off the light and sat in the dark, sulking and brooding. His initial anger became sadness, and he’d even shed a few tears, which then turned to frustration and back to anger. By the time the door slid open again, he was feeling resigned and woozy. He scrambled to his feet and squinted in the sudden flood of light that illuminated the small storage room.

He was alone with Scully, and if things weren’t so tense and awkward, he might be inclined to believe he’d fallen asleep and was dreaming. His situation wasn’t a dream, however, it was a damn nightmare.

“It’s just you?” Mulder asked, eyes not quite fully adjusted.

“It’s just me.”

“It’s one of them,” he insisted.

Scully stood at least two feet away from him, her body perpendicular to his. She only looked at him sideways with her head down. He could see her chest rising and falling with the rapid breath of fear, though she was trying to hide it. It made him feel both smug and irritated. She should be afraid, but not of him. He stepped closer to her and she flinched and leaned away.

“Mulder, no one’s been killed since you’ve been in here.”

“So?”

“We’ve found a way to kill it. Two worms in one host will kill each other.”

“You give me one worm, you’ll kill me!” he snarled, leaning down into her face.

She swallowed. He could practically hear her heart thumping against her chest. She smelled of lingering perfume and anxiety. Her eyes darted around the floor below her, but never bounced to Mulder.

“Okay,” she whispered. “If that’s true, why wouldn’t you let us inspect you?”

“I would have, but you pulled a gun on me,” he whispered back, through gritted teeth. “I don’t trust them. I want to trust you.”

“They’re not in here right now.

Mulder stared into Scully’s face until she turned her eyes towards him, head still bent. He straightened and turned his back to her, pulling his collar down to his shoulders, presenting her with his neck. It took a few moments, but he felt her move close. He could feel her breath on his skin and it stirred his gut and his groin. Then, her hand passed across the expanse between his shoulder blades and the breath went out of him. Her hand was warm and soft, moving down his spine and up to his nape in a slow caress. He wanted to push her up against the boxes in the corner and drive the anxiety out of her until she proclaimed her loyalty to him and only him.

He should’ve been ashamed of himself just then, but he wasn’t. He was still angry, but he was also aroused. He only hated her because he loved her. It was wrong, he knew it was wrong to want her, but he couldn’t help it. If her hand continued to sweep across his back so softly, he just might forget that she was married.

She stopped though, and gave a nervous laugh. Her head bowed and bumped his back softly. He stood completely still while her hands dropped to his hips.

“You’re fine,” she murmured, to him or to herself, he wasn’t sure. And then she let go.

The loss of her body heat hit him in the gut. He whipped around, taking her by the shoulders and pulling her back to him. She tried to turn her head to look at him, but he touched the side of her face and gently turned it back. He pulled softly at the collar of her flannel shirt, exposing the top of her back and neck to his greedy hands.

He brushed her hair up and out of his way and his let his fingers trail through the soft curls at the back of her neck. He palmed her nape and swept his thumb from side to side across her vertebrae. He wanted to kiss each and every bump of her spine from neck to tailbone. She breathed deeply and sighed.

“You’re fine,” he said.

“Mulder,” she whispered.

He raised her collar up and lightly rested his hands on her shoulders. “It’s one of them.”

“Stay behind me. Let me do the talking.”

The anger he’d had evaporated. Deep down, he’d known all along that she was protecting him, and putting herself in danger to do it. Now, she wanted to lead a possible battle. It made him want to pull her back to him again and wrap his arms around her. It made him want to press his face into her neck and not come up for air until he had to.

“Ready?” she asked.

“Yeah.”

Scully hesitated and then stepped to the door. She gave two swift bangs and then it slid open. DaSilva and Hodge both backed up as Mulder and Scully walked out.

“I’ve examined him,” Scully said. “He’s not infected.”

“Neither is she,” Mulder added.

“Which means it must be one of you.”

“Okay,” Hodge said. “But, I still want to check him out myself, and then he can examine both of us.”

Mulder nodded once. The next few seconds happened in a blur. Hodge lunged at him and knocked him into a stack of boxes. DaSilva rushed at Scully and shoved her back into the storage room and locked the door. Mulder fought back at Hodge, wrestling him across the floor. They traded the upperhand multiple times, slamming into equipment, knocking things off shelves.

Hodge had Mulder pinned, his forearm across his neck, while Mulder kicked to free himself. DaSilva rushed over with the forceps, the worm dangling ominously from between the pinchers.

“No!” Mulder yelled.

“Do it!” Hodge ordered.

Mulder saw the worm come down towards his ear. He screamed and bucked, but Hodge had him locked down tight. Suddenly, his grip went slack and he shoved DaSilva to the side. Mulder rolled out from under him and skittered back.

“Mulder, it’s her!” Hodge yelled.

DaSilva seemed to make a break with sanity at that point. She screamed high and long, darting around the room and shoving things off the table, breaking glasses, pulling down shelves. Hodge ran to the storage room door to let Scully out and Mulder retrieved the forceps with the worm still held in its grip.

“It’s her,” Hodge told Scully. “It’s DaSilva.”

DaSilva managed to find a gun in the chaos and waved it around the room, screaming hysterically. She fired off a shot that one of the glass cases of equipment and shattered it. Hodge, Mulder, and Scully ducked.

“Take this,” Mulder said, handing Hodge the forceps. “On my go.”

“Be careful,” Scully told him.

Mulder jumped up and DaSilva spun around with the gun extended. Before she fired a second shot that hit the ceiling, Mulder tackled her to the ground, knocking the gun out of her hand. She screamed in his face and it felt like his eardrum might burst. Scully was suddenly there on the other side, holding DaSilva down where Mulder couldn’t. Hodge hovered over them and dropped the worm into her ear. She arched up off the ground, the tendons in her neck bursting and pulsing, face red. And then she went limp and whimpered.

“You’re okay,” Scully whispered, soothingly. “You’re okay.”

******

The storm that was supposed to blow through the area fizzled out, and a rescue plane touched down mere hours after DaSilva had been subdued. They’d moved her to the sleeping quarters where Hodge kept watch over her until paramedics took over and loaded her into the plane. They’d all been hustled as quickly as possible out of the facility and back to Nome, where they waited for flights home.

“She's being put in quarantine along with the dog,” Hodge said, as they watched DaSilva being loaded into a containment unit. “We'll keep her there until we're sure she won't infect the rest of the population.”

“We should go back,” Mulder said. “If we had the proper equipment, knowing what we know now, we could poss-”

“Don’t you know?” Hodge interrupted.

“Know what?”

“45 minutes after they evacuated us, they torched the place. There's nothing left.”

Mulder looked to Scully who had her brow furrowed. “Who did that?” she asked.

“Military, CDC, you’d know better than I would. They’re your people.” Hodge shrugged and then squinted up at the sunlight breaking through the clouds. He slung his bag over his shoulder and then walked away without a goodbye.

“It’s still there, Mulder,” Scully said, looking up at him. “200,000 years down in the ice.”

“What do you want to do?” he asked.

She inhaled swiftly through her nose and then reached down to pick up the bag at her feet. “Leave it,” she said.

He nodded in agreement, though if she’d said she wanted to drill, he’d grab a shovel and do it himself if he had to.

******

The flight home wasn’t even half-full. Actually, it was a flight to Vancouver, and then on to DC, but the handful of passengers who’d deplaned in British Columbia, were replaced with a handful of passengers headed to DC. Seeing as how they had their pick of seats, Mulder waited until everyone had boarded to head down the aisle to Scully’s row.

“Excuse me,” he told the woman seated in the aisle seat. “There was a mistake when our tickets were issued. Would you mind if I sat with my partner?”

“Oh, no, of course not,” said the woman. She unhooked her seatbelt and smiled at Mulder and then at Scully as she got up.

“Do you have a bag?” he asked. “I’d be happy to move it for you.”

“Oh, aren’t you sweet. Yes, the blue one.”

Mulder took the woman’s bag from the overhead bin and walked it down to the bin above his old seat. He traded her bag for his and then went back down to Scully. She watched him with a half-lidded gaze. Instead of stretching out in his aisle seat, he sat in the middle, next to her.

“Did you take your Dramamine?” he asked her.

“Yep.”

“I heard the stewardess tell someone one of the inflight movies is going to be Groundhog Day. You’re gonna miss it.”

“I’ll live.”

“I’ll give you a summary when we land.”

Scully yawned and nodded. She had her head leaned against the wall next to the window, but she shifted in her seat and rested it on Mulder’s shoulder instead.

“Is this okay?” she asked.

“I don’t know, Scully. You tell me.”

She was quiet for a few moments. “Have you thought about where you’ll go for Thanksgiving?”

“Yes.”

“Have you made a decision.”

“Yes.”

“Are you gonna tell me what it is?” She yawned again and her eyes closed.

“I’ll come.”

“You will?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m glad. I’ll…” she paused to yawn and stretched against his arm. “I’ll send the time and place to your email address.”

“Okay.”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

She yawned again and didn’t answer. Minutes later, she was asleep. This time, she missed Groundhog Day and Benny & Joon. Mulder thought both of them were terrible.

******

#i wrote this #xf fanfic #msr #season 1 #slow burn

111 notes · View notes

edsbrak · 7 years

Text

sixteen weeks (chapter 3)

pairing: reddie chapters: 3/? rating: explicit tags: college AU, FWB

read on Ao3

Summary: Eddie and Richie are roommates in college, and after the events of one drunken confession they both agree it wouldn’t hurt to start casually hooking-up. Things go about as well as expected.

warnings: brief nsfw content

thanks to everyone who has left kind messages about the fic, I’m so happy you’re all liking it!! :D

enjoy! and merry holidays to those who celebrate! xx

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

Eddie curses several times at he waits impatiently for his bus to pull up to his stop. Goddamn metro buses and not following the set times they're supposed to. Eddie hates to be late, but he reminds himself it's only Mike and Bill, and they're sure to understand.

He pulls out his phone and sends off a text to let them know he's running late, unless a miracle happens. It doesn't, because that's always been his shitty luck. Finally his bus arrives and he taps his card before taking a seat at the front, never caring for the louder transport patrons that liked to occupy the back half on the bus.

Close to half an hour later he's hopping off the bustling vehicle and heading back the way it came to turn left down a busy street filled with multiple shops and cafes. There's a particular one that Mike enjoys, claiming their triple choc fudge cake was to die for.

Eddie sees them both sitting out the front, enjoying the not too hot weather as fall claims the trees petals and leaves from the park across the street. Eddie waves to them as he approaches.

“Guys, hey,” he greets, finally reaching their table. Both of their faces light up and soon Eddie is caught in a MikeandBill sandwich as they squeeze him tightly. Eddie laughs happily, pushing them away lightly when he needs some air. “Sorry, bus was late,” he tells them.

“Yeah we figured that,” Mike laughs. He stops, and then touches almost curiously at Eddie's hair. “Hey, you do something different to your hair?”

“Uh, no?” Eddie says. “It's just longer, that's all.”

“Hmm,” Bill chimes in, and brushes a finger over Eddie's cheek. “Something's different...”

Eddie slaps his hand away with a scowl. “Nothin's different. Man, you guys are weird today.” His friends were sort of the philosophical types, and Mike was very big on studying people's auras. Eddie tried to understand it all in the beginning, but soon gave up and figured they must have both been some kind of Gods in another life.

“Well, I sure am hungry. Babe, want me to order for you?” Mike asks Bill. Bill smiles and nods, and Eddie and Mike step inside the cafe and line up at the register.

“You do seem different, in a good way, of course,” Mike continues saying, and Eddie busies himself with picking out a combination meal to get. “Did you have a good week?”

Classes had been much of the same for Eddie, but it was hard to deny the surprisingly awesome turn of events with Richie. Eddie glances at Mike briefly. “Uh, yeah. It was good. What about you two?”

Mike nods as he answers. “Great week. Oh – I got that promotion at work!”

“Hey, that's amazing!” Eddie smiles and claps Mike's shoulder. “Honestly, it's about time. You're practically running that place already.”

Mike shrugs, biting his lip bashfully. “I don't know about that...”

“It's true,” Eddie says, then having to turn to the lady behind the register to place his order. Mike greets her by name, and the two chat for a bit before they head back to their table.

Mike slides in next to Bill on the two-seater outdoor furniture that surrounds the table, and Eddie sits opposite them. Aside from being his best friends, Mike and Bill are probably Eddie's favourite couple. Watching them together always felt like a privilege in itself.

“Eddie, you get around to reading that book I was talking about?” Bill asks.

Eddie winces. “Shit, no. Sorry Bill, I got really caught up this week with assignments,” he says, and watches as Bill deflates a little. “But, um – I actually know someone at the library now who could probably find it for me.”

“Who do you know at the library?” Mike asks, brows raised. Whenever anyone mentions libraries, Mike's interest is instantly peaked.

“Oh, uh, this guy Ben. He... I met him at a party, actually.”

“A party?” Bill says, sounding as though this word is new for him. Or, that it's new for Eddie to say it in his presence. Eddie tries to hold back on an eye-roll.

“Yeah, a party. I know, I know, you're shocked to learn I went to one, I get it,” Eddie drawls out.

Mike seems to smother a laugh behind his palm while Bill shifts so he's sitting up straighter. “We think it's great, Eddie. We know...” Bill trails off, and then Mike turns to look at his boyfriend to speak with their eyes. Eddie both hates and loves how they can do that. “We're just glad you're meeting some people.”

Eddie looks down to the table, and his finger traces along the grain in the wood. He knows how his friends like to worry, and for the longest time Eddie was fine with just seeing them on weekends and going about his school week in relative isolation. Eddie knew it probably appeared sad to any outsider, but Eddie had convinced himself it shouldn't matter what was and wasn't considered socially acceptable behaviour.

“Eddie, you're amazing, so we're just happy to hear other people think so too,” Mike reassures him kindly. Eddie feels himself smile – Mike is never one to lie.

“So the party, did you just rock up to it?” Bill asks.

Eddie shakes his head once. “No, uh, my roommate Richie – you remember him? He invited me Friday night, and I just thought might as well check it out for once?”

“Richie?” Mike and Bill had met him in passing once at the beginning of the school year. “You always said how you guys never usually talk. Are you getting along now or something?”

“Uh,” Eddie shifts, caught on what to say. He chooses to not tell his friends about his and Richie's tentative deal – way less badgering to suffer through at the hands of his mother-hen friends. “Yeah we're... talking now, I guess? His friends are nice, too. They invited me to a gig their band is playing on Wednesday.”

“A band?” Bill perks up. It had been a dream of his to form one a long time ago, until writing became Bill's number one love.

“Yeah, so. Should be fun?” Eddie shrugs. He thanks the waitress with amazing timing when she brings over their drinks, and he uses it to distract his friends for now until they decide to bring up the topic again.

He thinks back to this morning when he woke up to Richie sucking along the dip in his hip, and the memory is enough to have Eddie smiling to himself.

Oh, yeah. They were definitely getting along in one way, alright.

Eddie and Richie couldn't find any free time to fool around later that night, so it was during the afternoon of Monday the next day when they could talk some more about their little arrangement, amongst other things.

Eddie wanted to make sure they both had clear understandings of what exactly they wanted to get out of this, what the limitations were, and if there were any boundaries to not cross while they were in bed together.

Currently, they were both stripped down to their boxer shorts and Richie had Eddie perched comfortably in his lap. Richie was kissing along Eddie's neck, and every now and then it would solicit a giggle from Eddie and in turn Richie would suck harder to distract him. He was really very good at it.

“So, you wanted to talk, yeah?” Richie asks him, while his fingers trace along the small bumps of Eddie's spine.

“Mhmm,” Eddie nods and accidentally bumps Richie's head. “Yeah, um. Just basic stuff, you know? Like, what – um – what things don't you like? And do like? And, like, are we still allowed to see other people... t-that kinda stuff,” Eddie stumbles when Richie cups Eddie's ass. Jesus, his hands, Eddie wants to groan.

“I see,” Richie breathes hotly next to Eddie's ear. Eddie does shove him away then.

“No ear stuff, I hate that,” Eddie says.

Richie nods, still touching Eddie's back soothingly. “Noted. Okay. So I guess what don't I like... well, I prefer to top... I don't like gags or care for blowjobs much, unless you're good at it.”

“Oh, I am,” Eddie grins and pulls Richie in for an open-mouthed kiss. He tugs at Richie's hair again, because he can.

Richie moans deeply. “Okay, and hair pulling is a yes.” He whispers along Eddie's lips. “I'm all for dirty talk and even some humiliation. Eating out's a plus. Also, how do you feel about semi-public situations?”

Eddie thinks it over as he nips along Richie's jaw. “Depends on where, exactly. So it's a tentative maybe for now.”

“Okay,” Richie says, and shifts their bodies together so their fronts are grinding in a tormentingly good way. Eddie rests their foreheads together.

“Manhandling, that's--” Eddie stifles the noises that want to escape his throat. “That's a yes, which has been a surprise for me. Um, praise. That's good. Nipple play, yes. Riding, too.”

Richie hums, bucking his hips up to create more friction. “And no-no's?”

“Involving ears and feet, ugh, no, ew. I don't care much for foreplay, I fall out of the moment easily. Unless you're good.”

“Oh, I am,” Richie mimics Eddie's words from before with a wink.

Eddie snorts. “If there's anything else, we'll tell each other , yeah?”

“Yep,” Richie pops the 'p' and then lifts Eddie up and drops his back to the bed. Eddie lands with a small 'oof' and then spreads his legs so Richie can settle between them. Eddie loves how wide Richie's shoulders are, how they just cloud every inch of Eddie's small frame. Richie plays with the band of Eddie's boxers, teasing lightly.

Eddie's relaxes, lost in the feeling of it all until about 30 seconds pass and his eyes fly open. “Hey,” he slaps at Richie's arm lightly. “Can you pass me my phone? I need to write something down.”

Richie quirks a brow but does as asked. “What is it? Reminder: Richie's dick is too good to handle – buy painkillers.”

“Ha ha,” Eddie begins to type in a note entry. “I rememberd the name of this song I've been trying to find. You know when you know next to none of the lyrics so it's impossible to Google it?”

“Yeah,” Richie says, now into the crook of Eddie's neck. “That's why I'm not the singer in my band. Also, I'm not that great at singing, but whatever.”

“Oh,” Eddie puts his phone back down and instead curls his hands around Richie's shoulders. “What do you play?”

“Wanna guess?”

Eddie frowns. “Keyboards?” he looks down at Richie's 'magic' fingers and recalls a pleasant memory of them in action.

“Nope.”

“Hmm,” Eddie leans over to kiss Richie's lips lightly before pulling away on a suck. “Bass?”

“That's Stan.”

“Lead guitar?”

“Ben.”

“Ah, drums!” Eddie says triumphantly. Unless this was some bizarre band that plays without drums. He's pretty sure they exist.

“Yep,” Richie says. “Now you get a reward.” and he yanks Eddie's boxers down.

“I only guessed it by process of elimination,” Eddie teases playfully.

“Oh, you're right. No reward, then,” Richie says solemnly, and begins to pull them back up. Eddie shoves him with an exhasperated laugh.

“So, other rules. Like, other people...” Eddie starts but grows distracted when Richie moves down to lick at Eddie's inner thigh. “Firstly, are we telling anyone?”

“Uh,” Richie lifts his head up in thought. “Only if you want to.”

“Maybe we'll keep it secret for now?” Eddie offers. Things are way less complicated that way, and so no other potential partners feel as though they're imposing.

“Okay.” Richie goes back to Eddie's thigh. In some kind of gentlemanly way Eddie figures Richie must be happy to go along with whatever Eddie proposes.

“So we're... exclusive roommates with benefits, then. And if we want to hook up with anyone else at some point, we don't bring them back here, yeah?”

“I never have, but yeah.”

“Never?” Eddie asks curiously.

“We didn't know each other that well – felt rude to kick you out of our room. And girl's bed are always cleaner, anyway,” Richie winks lewdly.

“Well I wouldn't know,” Eddie deadpans.

“Right.”

“Although with my track record, I doubt suddenly sleeping with you will magically cure my horrible streak of never meeting anyone in this city,” Eddie jokes. But if only to cover every base he adds: “And if we wanna date...?”

“Not a problem for me, remember?” Richie reminds him.

“Right,” Eddie sighs, falling back and settling into the freshly cleaned sheets he'd washed this morning. “But if I wanna date, then... I guess we end it, right?”

“Unless any potential partner you have is also okay with you getting some from your roommate on the down low,” Richie chuckles, and then runs his tongue up Eddie's half-hard dick. Eddie shivers as he feels himself twitch against Richie's mouth. “If their dick isn't as big as mine, then you're always welcome back in Tozier Manor, Eds.”

“Don't--” the call me that is stuck on his tongue when Richie sinks his warm mouth down low on Eddie's dick. “Hnnnnggg--”

Eddie is glad he only showered a few hours ago after his third class had ended. He clutches at Richie's hair and notices it's even softer today. He makes a mental note to ask Richie what kind of conditioner he uses. Richie hollows his cheeks exceptionally well and sucks around him hard, and Eddie resists the strong urge to fuck up into Richie's mouth. There's no way Eddie wants to test any kind of gag reflex right now.

Richie lifts off him with a wet sound, keeping Eddie teetering on the edge. Eddie shoots Richie what he hopes is is most intense death glare in retaliation.

Richie bites down on an obvious grin. “I know you're trying to be threatening, but you just look cute.”

“Oh my god, I'm seriously gonna kill you if you don't mack on my dick in the next ten seconds.”

“So, it's really okay that I'm coming to this gig?” Eddie asks again. He's sure he's annoying Richie by now with all of his repeated questions, but dammit, he couldn't help feeling extremely awkward just thinking about seeing all of Richie's friends again.

Even when he'd seen Ben again at the library after that party, it's not like Eddie and Richie had slept together yet. They'd only sort of agreed an hour previous, all the while recovering from what felt like downing half a bottle of vodka. But now, now, Eddie had to go and talk to all of Richie's friends at the same time as his brain oh so helpfully chanted to him you're sleeping with Richie and his friends have absolutely no fucking clue but if they did they'd probably all have a good laugh about it behind your back.

Okay, no, Eddie's sure they wouldn't do that. Maybe.

“Dude, seriously, it's cool,” Richie reassures him again. He's typing something on his phone as they walk down the street. A stobie pole appears and Eddie is tempted to let Richie walk into it but guides him away at the last second. “My friends like you, remember?”

“All I hear from that is that you don't like me,” Eddie mumbles.

“I don't sleep with people I hate, Kaspbrak,” Richie says and pockets his phone. “That's gotta be a form of tempting Satan somehow, I'm sure...”

Eddie side-eyes him. “Alright. Fine. Let's go play some music and have a marvelous time, if I must.”

“That's the spirit.”

The bar – more of a dive, really – comes into view halfway down the street, and Eddie can say he's never once been here. He's never even heard of this joint – shows how much he gets out, really. The Penny, it was called, and as soon as you step inside it's hard to ignore the walls lined with thousands of penny's. They even have a display case of penny's featuring one from each year since 1902.

The band stage was set up in the far corner of the room, and Eddie could see Ben and Bev already setting up their equipment. Richie used the house drums, apparently, but brought his own sticks.

“Stan lives at home, so I do all of my practising in his garage,” Richie tells him. He waves hello to Ben before heading over to the bar. There's a bald guy with a footlong beard serving, and he greets Richie with a two finger salute.

“Steve, man, you good? Also, one beer, and--” Richie points behind to Eddie to place an order.

“Oh, vodka soda, thanks,” Eddie rushes out.

Steve nods and disappears for a bit. There's a decent enough crowd already here, and Richie thinks it'll pick up in half an hour or so. Steve returns with their drinks and says Eddie can order more under the band's name if he wants.

“C'mon, you can re-introduce yourself to Bev,” Richie says and leads the way to the back.

Eddie follows and winds through the other patrons sitting amongst the round wooden tables, all of them loud and most of them looking to be in their forties. There was some rock music already playing from the speakers, and Eddie realises he never asked what music Richie and his friends play.

“Mostly soft rock, a bit of punk,” Ben shrugs a few minutes later. “Bev picks most of it to suit her voice.”

“Wait 'till you hear the full power of this bad boy,” Bev winks as she gestures to her mouth. “Nothin' but panties dropping left and right.”

“In this case, mainly briefs,” Eddie says as he obseves the room.

“Hey guys,” a new voice says, and Eddie turns to see Stan rock up with a guitar case in hand as he tries to manoeuvre around the bustling drunkards.

“Stan the Man,” Richie grins. “Buddy, you know Eddie?”

“Hey, yeah,” Stan nods before pulling out a bottle of antibacterial and squirting some into his hand. “Nice to have someone our age in the crowd for once.”

“Hey, we draw in our demographic,” Ben argues, but it sounds weak. “Okay, only sometimes. I think people are still too scared to come back here ever since that triple homicide last year.”

Eddie blinks rapidly as he looks at all of their faces in shock.

“Kidding, he's kidding,” Richie laughs into his fist. Eddie glares at him.

When it comes time for them all to take their places on stage Eddie finds a free table near the front and sits himself down, cupping his drink with both hands and immediately hating that he's sitting here all by himself like a socially inept loser.

Next time, I'll bring Mike and Bill, Eddie thinks, and then frowns. If there is a next time, that is.

“Hey all you losers out there getting wasted on a Wednesday night,” Bev speaks into the mic, her voice switching to sultry drawl. Richie takes his place behind the drum kit and ties a red bandanna around his forehead. “Thanks for coming out to see us. Or thanks for sticking around to hear us. Either way, we can all be losers together tonight.”

There are drunken cheers from several tables, and Eddie just hopes Richie really was kidding and no one is going to just randomly stab him or something. He eyes off the closest guy near him just in case.

“To start us off, we'll be playing a classic...” Bev finishes as the lights change to a dark purple and Ben plays the first keys of the song.

After their first set is over, Eddie can admit they're actually pretty decent, for a simple garage band. Bev has great control of her voice and surprises Eddie with how many genres of music she can master. Ben just looks proud of her as he plays, while Stan seems to enjoy his own little bubble off to the side.

And Eddie can see now why Richie chose to play drums. His jittery energy is put to great use as he goes back and forth with the drums and symbols, grinning proudly as he hits every one of them with a confidence Eddie wishes he could possess.

Other patrons talk throughout most of it, but Eddie enjoys the theatrics of it all and doesn't mind so much in the end that he's by himself. They all join him for drinks during a brief intermission, and Eddie finds himself laughing quite a lot as Richie's friends go on about past gigs and several accounts where Richie actually got kicked out for causing too much customer service misconduct.

“Wait, you tried to start a bar fight?” Eddie interrupts the story mid-way.

“Yes, tried.” Stan says.

“Hey, if someone's gonna make sexist jokes about my girl Bevvie you can bet your ass I'm gonna attempt to punch someone with no previous knowledge as to how,” Richie says confidently as he and Ben cheers to that.

“That was also the same day I switched from Samsung to iPhone.” Bev says. “What a wild ride.”

By the time they're almost finished with the second set, Eddie see's a group of girls and guys sitting across to his right, presumably around his age. Or, they're more likely legal than he is. Two girls catch his attention as they not so subtly point towards the stage, either at Stan or Richie, or both. Eddie isn't sure if Stan is seeing anyone currently, or if he even swings that way, but one of the girls seems closer to Richie's type, based on what little Eddie has seen of Richie with female lovers.

He ignores them for a while, until their show is over and Bev is thanking everyone again for sticking through the whole thing. Eddie blows out a whistle and smiles encouragingly at them all when they make their way back over.

“Nice, you guys finished strong. I really like Oasis,” Eddie says.

“Thanks Eddie,” Bev smiles as she brushes her sticky fringe out of her eyes. She and Ben talk quietly together, and Eddie takes a sip of his drink and watches as the two girls from before slowly approach Richie and Stan who are standing some metres away.

They both turn and give the girls smiles, and the typical 'great show' and 'thank you' must play out as the girls tilt their heads shyly as they step a little closer in an obvious flirt. The one Eddie pegged as Richie's type was now standing on her toes slightly as she moves to say something in Richie's ear, and Eddie holds back an eyeroll at how easily that play worked.

Richie appears keen to whatever it is she said to him, twirling a drum stick in one hand like a complete tosser and Eddie figures he'll be heading home by himself tonight.

But then Ben and Bev call him over to get more drinks, so he guesses tonight wasn't a complete failure. He smiles and follows them.

Tag list!: <3

@sleepykaspbrak @richietoaster @reddietofall @michiyo-onosaka @hufflepuffkaspbrak @babybyelers @alrightbluer @wintersember @lolahood @r-richie @s-s-georgie @multishippinghoe @richie-kaspbrakk @colorful-dodie @not-reddie @80sdenbrough @jem-carstairs-is-perfection @musicalsaftermusicals @lonewolfhard @edstozler @nintxndos @loverboykaspbrak @s-s-stutteringbill @tozier-boy @its-stranger-than-you-think @welctothelosersclub @hemmotional--wreck @eddierichietozier @theemilyxx @spacedouthomo @burymestanding @youvegotdirtonyournosebytheway @im-reddie

#reddie fic #Reddie #sixteen weeks #my fics

89 notes · View notes

unravelling-the-world · 4 years

Text

I was trying my best, and another friend who always took pictures of us (we took pics of him as well dw) documented all of those moments, i even used a not-permanent spray color hair for that day just so the pictures could be special. I didn't particularly like myself, I never did ,but I was too busy to think about it. When i went out, i felt decent at least. Binder, thick under-eye red/black liner, just the perfect e-boy look i wanted. I felt that, as a pre-hrt person, I was looking as masc as I could while doing the style that makes me comfortable and I want to achieve. I was doing my best everytime we went out to look presentable in the pictures, and I did well 9/10 times. At some point, there was a light festival as well. I went with one friends and my cousin and we had fun. My friend and I took pictures, my cousin didn't want hers taken but we still interacted a lot and had fun, I loved the pics of that day. I never got to post them, because my downfall came soon after. At that point in time, I was finally living the dream. I posted frequently on ig (bc i went out frequently) and even though i wasn't anyone big, no partnerships or anything, not even 1k followers, I was growing, and having been intoxicated by fame at age 12, it was just what I needed. My posts started getting 70 likes on average and 7-10 comments, i only had 500 followers but they were growing at an average of 20 followers/month. A lil tween reached out to me and told me he thought I was really cool and was my fan. Bro, that was awesome. Things were moving forward, and altough i felt afraid of the future, I was working on it all. I was making progress in other aspects as well,having come out formally recently and with help from my psychologist, we were going to start looking into hrt, and i just couldn't believe it. I only have read fast and short info. I never really wanted to inform myself more because deep within me I was just afraid I'd never be able to get it and get my hopes up for nothing. We appointed a session to talk about that. This was march, and at my house, we watched a Japanese channel (because we are all interested in Japanese culture and such) So I knew the coronavirus was coming. They started talking about it since the start, in december, obviously, because they are way closer to where the virus started so it spread faster there. I remember it was on a cruise first. I knew it would eventually arrive here, so through all summer i told my mother "it's only a matter of time." I knew it'd come. March was here, and the last time i went out with my friends came along. Inside my head, I felt like I knew that was the last time. I had thoughts about "I wonder if i'll ever get to see a sight like this again". I managed to take some pictures, because,inside me, I knew that was the last time. I wanted to preserve the memory of it. I didn't want to forget. At the time, with a friend, who took the same metro line as me but lives further away, since it was just us two, when saying goodbye we'd always say "see you in five minutes" (like in endgame, because i told her the whole movie and told her when they said that and then black widow died) and she LAUGHED so hard and it became an ongoing joke between us (we are both kinda suicidal ngl but we just laugh abt it.) We said it that day as well, but we actually never saw each other again lmao

At that point, in the country, there were about 4 covid cases. Only 1 in the capital, so it had started, but was only just the start. When I got home, i kind of knew that was the last. My classes started, and for two weeks, it was hell on earth. Online,obviously. I got paired up with the guy I hated the most in the entire generation (I only knew half of them, and liked even fewer, but this guy. fuck. i would have killed him. he was awful.) Anyways. Yeah. But at the end, classes got postponed until further notice. So I was now a Neet! For a while, even though coronavirus was getting worse and worse here as everywhere, I was doing good. I was living the introvert dream, and since I have a decent/good relationship with my parents and grandma, life was just great. All around me I saw everyone struggle with quarantine. I was having a blast. Playing sims, watching anime, anything went. Shit was great. Got Gta V for free when epic released it, and had a blast. Got obsessed with obey me for a while. It was all fun.... Met via discord with my friends. Almost daily with certain friends, once in a while with others, but the whole group would be together at least once. It was good, for me. I felt good. I would ocassionally wake up and tell my mother that I was happy, and hug her. I don't think i'd ever done that. I was at peak, and I knew it. Drew a lot, played a lot. Did a lot of things and projects. Everything felt ok...My dysphoria wasn't great during these times (since now i stay in pajamas all day except when I use camara to meet with friends, and obviously I dont wear my binder with my pajamas) But i had so much free time, that I could just ignore it. (I'm good at avoiding things. at running away.)

Classes started June 1st. First day, I had a breakdown. I don't remember why, but I couldn't connect to class. I felt overwhelmed. I don't know and don't like asking for help because i feel useless when I do. So I didn't. Apparently I seemed more upset than I thought, because my dad noticed. When comforted or confronted, I always cry. I can't talk about my feelings without crying. I feel weak for expressing them. Even writing this, i feel the knot in my neck. My dad saw and ended up helping and comforting. I cried a lot. I went to class, but spent the whole 3 hours of class crying. Things were unstable for a while, but I was keeping afloat, I guess. I started feeling like shit, I wasn't happy daily anymore. Online learning felt so distant and so difficult and so different. I don't like change. At least not without expecting it beforehand. So yeah, that ended up taking a toll on my mental health. The downfall started. I was quite busy, but still tried to meet with friends via discord whenever we could. We had some online birthdays, and season 3 of osomatsu san had already been announced. I was looking forward to it so much. I was in pain, but that thought was keeping me going. I started getting worse, mentally. I started isolating myself ocasionally. I have quite long gaps from this period. I can't really recall much of what happened or what it was like. At some point around August-September I was watching 6teen, because my uni decided that starting a semester and compressing it into a trimester was a good idea, and finals were in september, i think. At the time of finals, i was watching 6teen. I didn't wanna finish it, so I started total drama after. I had a week of vacation in September as well, and I think I was OK for the week.

I won't lie. I don't remember october. I only know Osomatsu-san started here bc I waited for it all year long. I regained closer contact with a friend who lives in japan. Halloween also had an online meeting. I cosplayed, and felt good with myself for the night, for the first time in months. But I ended up having a breakdown later that night. A friend who didn't come and had said he'd come ended up arriving very late (2-3AM ish, meeting was at 10PM) He was very drunk. I don't mind. He says he just came to say sorry he didn't come bc he ended up meeting with irls. We tell him it's ok. He disconnects. He reconnects not long after, but we are confused, since that's not his voice. It was his friend who took his phone, a classic party prank. Doesn't matter, it was fun for a bit. This guy is also mad drunk, so talking to him is weird and funny. But shit gets bad for me in a bit. I was using a voice changer, as I usually do online, because Im ashamed of my high pitched voice. But this guy misgenders me, more than once, and also my friend who lives in japan. He doesn't seem to care, and I act like I don't, but it hurts so bad. My other friend who was there at that time corrects him, more than once. I felt thankful to her. I never thanked her afterwards because I didn't know how to bring out that topic without crying. This guy is very drunk though, and altough i doubt he had vile intentions because of the way he phrased it, he insists, that those are womans voices. They talk about it a bit, verbal comebacks. I wanted them to stop. At some point, my friend who lives in Japan leaves bc its lunch time for him. I felt like shit. I just told this other guy "I'm 10" and he dropped the subject, he believed me and the explanation. My friend laughed her ass out, because she thought I said it as a joke. Truth is, that was just a desperate answer to get him to drop the topic. I dont really care if he believed I was 10 or not though. I just wanted it to stop. He jokes with my friend for a bit more. I didn't talk much after, because I felt ashamed. I didn't want to talk ever again. Even now, even with the voice changer, I don't have the confidence I had when I started using it. I have lowered the pitch twice, just in case. My friend left the call a bit later. When she left, I left as well. I was thankful to her though. I don't remember if i cried or not, but it caused me a massive breakdown for about two weeks. I didn't talk online with anyone until my birthday, I think. I didn't tell anyone but my psychologist this.

I don't remember November much either. I know it's my birthday, and I know I came back to tumblr in november. Yall know when. Canon destiel and shit. Tumblr hadn't felt so alive in years. It felt like home. I remember I was having a bad breakdown during that time. I think it was career related. I can't really remember much. The shitshow happening on tumblr Destiel Election actually helped me get better. I remember this only because of a conversation I had with a friend. I started working on christmas decorations as well. December came along, I worked hard on christmas decorations. I played a bit as well, because on some of my classes I just didn't have anything to do lol. Decorations were finished two weeks in advance for christmas. For the first time ever! I was happy. During these times,Nov-Dec lockdowns started easing up a bit. I still can't go out at all though, because I live with my grandmother, so we're supposed to minimize risks. My parents only go out for shopping essentials that can't be bought online. So it's fair and I understand it, but it started becoming hard on mental health. Not because I can't go out, but because my friends start going out. They know I can't go, they don't exclude me, but they know I can't and I also know I can't. I guess in a form, its jealousy. It becomes hard because there's no one to blame. It's no one's fault. I'm not excluded on purpose, but the truth is, I don't want to hear them talk about what they do when they have fun. I've always been insecure. Even when all evidence points otherwise, I still believe, deep inside,they hate me. They wish I weren't in the group and would be better off without me. It gets hard sometimes.

Even though in general December was quite good, it also came with a major breakdown. One of my best friend's bday is in December. Up until then, Me, her, and another friend had been playing league of legends nearly daily. It was toxic sometimes (the game/community, not my friends) but we had fun. I just liked playing together. But that would come to an end as well. My friend celebrated her birthday, and did invite me, but obviously I couldn't go,and she knew this beforehand, so she didn't get mad or anything. She handled the situation very well, wrote on the gc once, and then did a special gc for birthday attendants to talk about details there and such, and reminded friends who asked in the gc to talk in the birthday gc. (this is how i knew, but i think it was well done tbh, i wish they'd just asked in the bday gc instead so i wouldn't have seen it and felt bad about how i couldn't go) My friend also offered to have me as an online guest, like, being in videocall in the computer on the table. like Karen from spongebob ig. the idea was cool, but honestly i felt bad. She celebrates her bday with her gf bc their dates are near, and I just didn't really want to inconvenience them? I mean, her gf is cool and she used to hang out with our group ocassionaly and she was cool and fit in, and it never felt awkward talking to her irl or anything but it's not like she's my friend and honestly I didn't wanna inconvenience her party, and even though I'm sure my friend wouldn't have minded, I didn't want to be an extra inconvenience for her too. I just wanted her to have fun, honestly. But feeling like a burden ended up weighing on my mind. This caused a bad bad breakdown, beforehand I had started to become better,little by little, but these two weeks waiting for that event to happen felt like a nightmare to me. I didn't tell anyone. I think i wrote it about here once. Around this time, an account on instagram called "matsunoadvice" got reccomended to me, and Oh boy Have I gone to them for advice. Of course, I sent them a message at the time, desperate for someone to talk to, because I couldn't tell anyone about this, because all my other friends know each other kinda and i didn't wanna inconvenience everyone. I didn't want anyone to know i felt like shit. I felt thankful to my friend, because she did try her best to include me, I just didn't really wanna inconvenience anyone. I guess I'd rather suffer alone myself than being a pain in the ass for someone else. After all, I've accepted that I'm alone long ago, and since now there's nothing I can do to maintain my social relationships now,I may as well just accept that theyre ending now. I kind of isolated myself for those two weeks, sometimes i would still connect on discord, but it always felt kind of distant. I stopped playing league of legends around this time.

I still hadn't confirmed to my friend if i was virtually going or not. Truth is, i kind of knew I probably wouldn't want to go in the end, bc im Like That™ But i told her in advance that i'd let her know the date of the event early in the day because of how unstable I am and I wouldn't actually be sure until the day (which was true when I told her) So the day of the event i told her that I was thankful but I wouldn't be assisting virtually and told her to have a great day! She replied okay in a nice way as she always did. I don't think she seemed weirded out by my answer. I hope she didn't feel bad, because she's very empathetic so I hope she didn't think about me at all that day. I hope she never reads this, and even if she does, she didn't really do anything wrong and handed the situation the best she could, the pain was unevitable for me due to the situation. beforehand i had also had a similar breakdown though, because 3 friends who i was/am? still very close to started meeting each other to skate together. I don't know how to skate/have never skated and obviously can't go either way, and sometimes they'd talk about it in the vc. I remained calm always until the call ended,but I did cry about it late at night. It's selfish, of course, but when no one saw anyone, it was easier. we were all the same. But now it felt like they were all moving on without me. In a way, it's what I always wanted, but I always wished to die first. I know it's not sane, but i'd imagined situations like that in my head, where I die and then everyone moved on and it made me feel calmer. But seeing that unfold before my eyes, when i'm still breathing here, i'm still here. It felt lonely. I'm glad they're having fun. I'm just upset I can't do it as well? And it makes me feel like inevitably my relationships with them will break and fall apart and dissapear and they're all still gonna be a interwined network, even though I did everything I could to maintain it because it's all I've ever had outside of my direct family? I didn't make any friends at uni or have a different group of friends so it just...hurt? It still hurts, i'm just more used to it. Also after the bday i did try to connect in vc but it just made me worse, like a friend said like "noo it got too wild honestly u didnt miss anything" and i was like lmao ok but i felt like kinda sad anyways but if i was there i wouldve probably slept through it anyways

...after i felt awful bc i have another friend who is just kinda blunt and kinda dumb when it comes to how others feel, and he was like ohh yeah but after the bday [friend] took us and some of [friends gf's friends] to our houses and since it was early we went to a mcdonalds and it was so fun !! and it was just so uncomfortable bc obviously im glad you have fun but like i dont wanna know??? bc it hurts a fuckin lot???? and my other friend who was also in vc (he was the one w the car) he was like "haha yeaaa it was fun" but he seemed quite uncomfortable talking abt it he could probably tell i didnt wanna hear and ik my other friend only did it bc he's naive not bc he had bad intentions but yeah it sucked i was like haha thats great heh.....like what ya want me to say babe

Christmas arrived and it ended up helping me a lot. Christmas is my favorite holiday and I decorated a month in advance, baked cookies for the first time (with my mom) and we just did a lot of things this year. It made me happy and kept me occupied through the pain (I know i described a lot of pain here but I only paid attention to it at night, which is why it still hurts now probably bc i've had it all repressed) And of course the gifts, honestly I didn't know what to expect because this year I didn't really know what to ask for and just asked for a surprise (because i love receiving things! anything) And my dad definetely outdid himself with all the gifts, I loved them and they're all useful too! I was amazed and i told my friends abt it and it ended up in me talking more in the vc again, and i also started playing genshin impact in late december as well. We also held a secrer santa in the group but not everyone participated (mostly bc of money) but the 4 of us that did was fun! i knew everyone's secret santa bc 2/4 asked to me for help and they were mutual </3 so i knew me and my other friend were mutual too lol but it was cool. I kinda was a bitch a bit though bc he delievered my gift to my home and was going to come a random day and I just wasn't prepared bc I was afraid of seeing him honestly I didn't want to see him and I hoped he wouldn't come? He didn't come that day but he did come some days after, I truly wasn't ready at that point anyway and my mom said we could let him inside if he sanitized, but he came with his mother and didn't get out of the car, we just exchanged the gifts, and honestly I was glad, i was polite and just said hi to both and thanks and all! Obviously i love him a lot bc we're close but idk why i didnt want him to come into my house i just feel like im so boring now and I dont know what we couldve talked abt and honestly ive always been shy but now i just forgot how to socialize and i was terrified so when he didnt get out i was just glad.....well, also

I feel like all of these incidents separated me and my friend who had her birthday on december. Now she wouldn't join the vc or gc often (or say she couldn't, which she usually did before) so I just assumed she hated me, but i didn't really have the guts to ask? She still liked my memes on the gc sometimes but not as she used to, she always used to like every single meme (or nearly all) and she never talked over me (I always get talked over except when I'm drunk bc i become a bit less shy therefore more violent) and would even call others out for me when talked over and always respected everything i told her abt me (Through the years, i've told her some of my deepest shits bc i just trust her like that i dont mind if she knows) but it just felt distant? Also a bit before that, at the start of december we started streaming on twitch, and that week i was very bad I told her i wouldn't play much bc i wasnt doing well but I was up for streaming bc i rly wanted to be professional abt it even if we dont pursue it as a career, but in the end we didnt stream, and fell out of streaming a bit after that. I was kind of afraid to ask her if she wanted to stream again, but we'd talked once and she said she'd finally gotten the cat earphones for the streams (she mentioned she wanted them beforehand) yeah anyways i dont think she actually hates hates me but idk the idea still lingers in my mind

uh yeah also i felt like shit for a bit bc i thought she definetely hated me bc we hadnt talked in a bit and she didnt like my memes anymore so i just assumed the worst, i even listened to break up music (which is what i do when a friendship ends bc altough ive never rly had strong romantic feelings for anyone that kind of song helps me move on after friend breakups too bc no one warns you abt how painful these are) and i cried obviously, but again i never mentioned it to anyone (i made a few vague textposts here though) and just got my shit together even if it hurt? lol, well a bit of time passes and everything seems to go back to normal, i dont remember how she told us but she said she had a job now which is why she didnt connect much and slept earlier and i felt relief lol bc i legit thought she hated me and i felt like shit abt it lol i mean the idea they kinda hate me lingers in my mind all the time but at that point in life i was like. SURE she hated me until that point. now we ocasionally play genshin together but i cant really talk at that time and that also makes me upset bc i do wake up late and im trying to fix my schedule a bit by waking up at 2pm instead of 5 pm but it doesnt even matter bc i play board games with my grandma daily (bc its good for her and its fun i do enjoy it) i just wish we could do it earlier bc lately she gets up at like 9pm and i end up finishing playing at 11/12/1 and its just kinda late to meet w my friends bc i always have smth to do/finish after and i just cant make it in time even if i wake up earlier? lol but i cant change her schedule so theres nothing i can do but cry about it

oh also ik matsunoadvice gave me advice on this but like there's this friend who i love obviously but sometimes he just talks abt his meetings w other friends and like it only makes me angry as fuck and i cant ask him to not bc im too shy but i wish he could stop. and also when he complains abt skate related stuff it makes me unexplainably angry but like i have no reason or right to im just angry bc i cant do that and probably never will bc i doubt ill ever be able to go out again ?? lol. and he even offered like "when we go out again u should come and ill lend u my skate and if u like it u can get one" and honestly its all super nice and i appreciate it and ive thanked him and told him yes but it just makes me feel angry inside bc i dont see an ending with all the mutations and shit and my voice cracks when i tell him haha yeah if we ever meet again bc honestly my youth is already over and i just spent it like a social recluse and i read a post here when i was younger that said like lgbt people spend their teens closeted and ashamed and live their teens in their twenties but now im gonna miss my twenties to the pandemic and then ill be too fucking old and itll be too fucking late and ill have to die and i just never lived bc i still havent even transitioned yet and i doubt ill ever be able to (this also causes me a lot of pain but i will ignore it) and the other day he said like i hope i can see u this year bc i miss u and i just said that honestly ive lost all hope of ever seeing anyone again and my voice cracked and my other friend said something related but not so related and im just glad he talked in bc i didnt rly care i just wanted to change the topic bc i know ill never see them again and eventually probably lose contact and see them all have fun together without me just as if i was dead but just didnt pass away and its difficult but i have to accept it and it hurts a lot now but in 7 years itll be fine, just like i accepted im unlovable and will never have a s/o and when i was 12 that hurt a lot but now it doesnt so someday i will be alone but i hope it doesnt hurt anymore.

this is all a mess and the format is everywhere and theres no timeline i hope no one reads it. if u do read it im sorry. i just honestly been carrying all of this for a while now and i want it out of my system honestly bc i dont know what to do with it and i was on the verge of a breakdown for a minimal thing hours ago i just want all this info out of my brain.....also obv these are only the bad things that have happened/good things that took me out of the hole but a lot of good things happened too lol and i skipped a lot of imp points like i changed careers and shit and also i met a lot of cool mutuals since i got back to tumblr and ososan been carrying my mental health every monday but yeah i just wanted the negatives out of the system. the frustrations and the anger. i hope no one reads this fr its so messy

#hinatalks #long post

1 note · View note

btuwanda45863894-blog · 7 years

Text

nude on cam - 4 Awesome Tips About 18 Cam Girl From Unlikely Sources

The plane, train and metro took about 2 hours. It had directions on what train and metro to take to get to her. She would meet me on the platform near her dorm and escort me to her place. Part 3 part 1 and 2 here I got a text from Isabella just about when I was boarding the plane to Stockholm. I arrived at the platform at precisely 18:22 as the itinerary said I would, and almost ran Bella down when I jumped out of the metro. We talked to much on the way to her dorm that I did not notice the surrounding area or how to get to the metro from her place. We hugged and exchanged pleasantries. She even wrote the departure times. There was supposed to be a party at her dorm that night. I would be in trouble if things went sideways. She is a petite little thing. She could not back away from it although she really wanted to catch up and hang out. Dark hair and dark eyes. 167cm, around 50 kg with small B boobs. Most of the people were making dips and other finger food. I asked if I could help and sure enough my roadie skills paid off as I rigged up some sort of a sound system in a few minutes. I told her I would not mind, but only if I could be her arm-candy. The kitchen was a mess and so was the hallway, shoes and stuff all over the place. I really did not see that much of Bella until she came up to me with some bacon pasta thingy. I was famished and sort of just of inhaled the food. I also connected some lights and LED strips and made the kitchen look pretty decent. She then took me to her room. The hosts of the party where not ready by any means. She was so happy that I could come but she had some bad news for me. I could then take a shower if I wanted. Except now the bathroom was on the left instead of right. It was almost identical to Carla’s room. "Go now" she said " the party starts in 20 minutes, I have to get dressed and you are not invited to see that". I probably had some of Carla’s scent on me so I thought it was a good idea. One hour later I returned from the local shop with another guy. She came out wearing only a towel around her body. We went on an alcohol run as I didn´t think of bringing any to the party and the other guy had just finished his. I could only buy beer at this time of night so I guess I wouldn´t be overly drunk, which was a plus. She said she would take a shower and would be out in a bit. The bed was small and there was a mattress on the floor, with a pillow and cover on it. More girls that guys so that was a plus. I wanted her badly and I think she knew it. We just sat around talking about nothing. I tried to be as close to Bella as I could, but I felt like she was giving me a cold shoulder. There were about 50 people there. The party started out pretty tame. One girl even had a ticket to see the show. I was speaking to a few guys about being a roadie and the perks of being one. Pussy is one but still it is hard work most of the time, little sleep and not much pay. The party people started to move around a little as the alcohol took away the Nordic shyness. Bella kind of took charge and ordered them to disperse and make themselves useful by cleaning the kitchen and hallway. One time over every year, every floor had to host a party for the other floors as a mean to get to know each other. Bella was still giving me a hard time to be near her. I was no longer the strange outsider and people started to open up a little. Some of the girls around heard I was a roadie and wanted to know what musicians I knew. Most of the rooms were open and you could visit and hang if there was anything fun going on. I told them I what band I was working for and some of the crowd knew of it. So, I started to roam around seeing if there were any other conquests that would catch my eye. People talking Swedish and not stopping when I arrived. I understand some Swedish but not enough to get the context. Always running and saving something or getting something. One of them asked if I was Bellas boyfriend. I told them that I was not, just a friend. They switched to English eventually and ending up telling me loads of stories about most of the people there. After that I left and tried to find a cleavage or something pretty to look at. I stopped for a long time with some guys talking about ADnD. This dorm had 7 floors and each floor had 12 rooms. The next room was Bellas. I played when I was younger. Played the most modest game of truth or dare where nothing happened in a room with 2 boys and 4 girls. Met a couple of exchange students smoking weed on a balcony. I tried to spice it up but most just took the penalty, a shot of alcohol, instead of answering. Most of the rooms had semi private parties. As I walked towards the room, I saw Bella standing in her doorway talking to someone inside the room. I decided to go into Bellas room and lie down for a bit, or the whole night maybe. This was beginning to be a lame party. Nobody was in there so I carried on. Damn, was there a boyfriend here? She was laughing and having a good time. I smiled politely and prepared a speech about tiredness and the need to sleep. She had a surprise for me also. Bella gave came towards me and gave me a big hug that ended with her kissing my cheek a few times. She saw me approaching and called me over. Tall and very thin with A cup breasts. The covers were nowhere to be seen, she must have put them in her closet. She apologized for her being too busy but now, the party was on its way and everyone happy, she had some time. We all sat down on the bed, with me in the middle. She had slid "my" mattress under the bed she had. We talked about everything and they used every excuse to touch me or stroke my thigh or put a hand on my shoulder. I always tried to touch back. We walked to her room and met a friend of hers, Hilde. Hilde was a strawberry blond as she would describe herself. The girls would flirt with me a lot. We all talked and drank our alcohol. We were about 12 in the room when somebody pulled out some cards for a drinking game called Kings. The mattress was pulled from under the bed and people piled on it. So about 2 hours later, just after midnight, the whole room was wasted, except me as it would seem. I was only drinking beer but my two ladies where drinking some alcoholic fruit drink. A few moments later the room started to fill with people. Me, my two ladies and a couple that had taken over the mattress on the floor. People started to pile out of there until we were just 5 of us. I had both girls run to the fridge to get me beers. I had my arm around them both and we were all talking about life and stuff. And while the one was away, the other would put some extra effort into their flirt game. The couple on the floor started to make out and we watched. I had about 9 of them during the evening but I just had a small buzz. While there I took a look at my beer. The couple on the floor were going strong when I came back to the room. I had bought a wrong kind. She was also very flirty with me, even in front of Bella. It turned out, that the alcohol level of my "beer" was just 2. Heads on my shoulders again and hands roaming, watching the couple trying to get it on. I was trying to at least get some sideboob action or stroke an ass or two. Her dress was now hiked up around her waist and the boy was trying to take her pantyhose down. The girls did not go anywhere near my crotch area. But Hilde did put her hand under my shirt and was gently stroking my not so formed abs. She was occasionally letting her fingers slip near the top of my pants and a few times just letting one finger graze under it. I sat down between the girls again. My dick was beginning to tent my pants. I really had to pee so I excused myself and went to the restroom. The girl was ok looking and the guy a bit thin and nerdy. He was just slobbering his tongue all over everything, not focusing on anything. She stopped him, took of his pants and started to give his limp member a blowjob. The girl was now on her back, only wearing a bra and the guy was licking her pussy. The couple started to go strong. But movement was limited for me. They went on until the girl said something in Swedish that I did not understand. The girl was getting something out of it, but I felt it was just for live nude cam show. Both of my ladies nodded their head and the couple scooted the mattress nearer to the bed. He started to fuck her fast. He got hard in a few minutes and then asked the girl to lay down. The guy came behind her and put his dick in her pussy and hammered away. She was rubbing her clit and came almost instantly. He kept looking at Hilde and Bella, I kept looking at the girls boobs. The girl then took of her bra and came up between my legs. The girl put her hand between her legs and rubbed her pussy as the guy put some extra effort into his movement. Then Bella unzipped my pants and pulled out my cock. It was a lot bigger than the one in her. Hilde seemed a little annoyed, but started to massage to my balls and I was in heaven. Bella said something else in Swedish and the girl went really wide eyed and the guy too. She was not really close, her head about a meter from my tent. The guy then told her he was cumming and she did something terribly wrong. The free girl web cams accidentally drove her nails into his balls instead of cupping them. She licked her lips as Bella started to stroke my cock. I laughed, the girl was sorry and the guy mad, and my girls did not know what to do but smile. The girls where now snuggled closely to me. That spectacle did dampen the mood between me and the girls. The guy screamed and fell backwards, spraying himself and the mattress with cum and holding his balls. All of a sudden the guy said something and the girl started to put some extra effort in rubbing her pussy. There was some tension in the air. Bella came back a few moments later with a washcloth and started to clean the cum of the mattress. We both were laughing when Hilde came in again. My dick was still out of my pants and starting to limp down. But still between my legs. Bella went to the bathroom and Hilde sat beside me. I shouldn´t have done that. The couple got dressed and went on their not so merry way. We told her it was a sort of "you had to be there joke". I asked her if she was getting that for a desert, she smiled and told me to holster my illegal weapon of ass destruction. I asked what she had in mind and she told me she wanted to take me home to her place and fuck me senseless. I put my dick away and she told me noooo. She then put her head again on my shoulder and started to roam her hand all over my front, including going under my shirt and into my pants, she gave my member a squeeze and started go all over me again. My craving for Bella was more than I expected so I politely declined. I told her to ask Bella. The girls were talking Swedish, I don´t know what about, then they both went to the bathroom. I could have some fun with her. I came out of the bathroom only to see that the girls had put covers on the mattress and moved it a little from the bed. I took my time as I was hoping Bella would throw Hilde out. She smiled seductively and was not the fastest to put the oversized shirt on. Bella called her a slut, with a smile. Oh and Hilde was topless with only a black and purple G-string on. Bella came back out, annoyed that me and Hilde were so close. She was sad, but asked if it was ok if she stayed the night with us. I then started my long and painful walk over to the mattress. She was dressed in a short tight nightshirt of some sort so I took the hint. She immediately snuggled closely to me and told me this brought back memories from before when we were dating. I gave Bella a puzzled look and she padded the bed beside her. But before I got there, Hilde had slipped under the covers. I turned the lights out, took of my clothes sans boxers and went to lay down beside Bella. We had fallen asleep a few times just like this, her laying with her head on my shoulder and me stroking her back. I had watched someone fuck in the third country. Went to the bathroom to pee and brush my teeth. I could call this a victory. Two amazing fucks in two different countries. Then I think I had fallen asleep. Got a couple of short handjobs from two girls. We kissed and fondled each other. I was thinking about that day for a moment. I awoke with the feeling that somebody was holding my dick and slowly jerking it. I kissed her slowly all the way down her body. Releasing her breasts from the confines of the nightdress by taking down the straps of her shoulders. I was happy with that. She was shaved clean, not a hair to be seen. I licked her pussy up and down a few times, giving her clit some extra attention each time. I then inserted one finger and started my attack on her clit. I pulled out all the stuff I had learned in the years before. She was not wearing any panties so I had easy access to her very wet pussy. I slowly moved my index finger inside of her in a "come here" fashion. I then pulled down the shirt some and kissed her belly button as I started to go further and further down. With that I started to write the alphabet with my tongue on her clit. I took my other hand and put it around her right thigh and set it down on her belly, about 10 cm above her mound and pressed down a bit. She had cum 4 times before she pulled my head up and asked me to come up. Want to have some fun? She was exhausted after that. She then gathered herself up and started to give me a little lovin´. She didn´t want to wake Hilde up, she said. I was doing something right, because she came just 2 minutes later, and again 3 minutes later. I opened my eyes to see Bella staring at me with a smile. I looked down to Hilde and saw her smiling, eyes half closed and her ass a bit up in the air and moving. When you liked this information along with you want to be given details regarding free nude cam girl i implore you to pay a visit to our own web site. She pulled on my limp dick, which was so slick with precum that some might say I had just cum myself. She put a finger against her mouth and shushed me. She was fingering herself while watching us. I spiced it up a few times by using my left hand to rub the clit, while I drove my tongue into her pussy and licked as far as I could, then replaced it with my hand. Bella came up to me and asked me if we needed a condom. I pushed a little, then back out, in again. I went between her legs and lined my cock with her opening. The room was getting hot and I asked her if I should open the window. All that time Bella was rubbing her clit. She still asked me if I could pull out though. I didn´t hear any noises form Hilde and thought she had fallen asleep. I started to move in and out at a slow pace. She gave me a little blowjob, but she was nowhere near Carla in technique, so I just let my mind roam while she did her stuff. She actually came once while I was laying still inside of her. She came again and asked if I wanted to change positions. I asked her if she was safe, she was, I was also I thought. Us on the side with me behind, doggy, her laying down with me upright and her left leg on my shoulder, then the other leg followed. We kissed and then I realized that we were not fucking, we were making love. We slow fucked in many positions for a long time. I always tried to make eye contact and let her know that I was there because of her. But either she was good at pretending to be asleep or she was. I felt her pussy contract around my member when she came, then I felt more wetness surround it. I held her close and sort of lifted her so she was only on her knees as my cock slowly penetrated her. I thought I heard Hilde cum once or twice. "She has probably been awake the whole time, haven’t you Hilde? This girl was so tight that we had to spend a few minutes trying get her adjusted to my girth. "I am fucking you, aren´t I". We kissed a lot and hugged while this was all going down. No problem on our behalf. I started to fuck Bella faster and faster, harder and harder. She took off the shirt and asked if she could watch properly. A giggle came from Hilde as she raised herself up. As a finale, I positioned Bella in a doggy style position. She was soaked with sweat, wearing a thick t-shirt under the covers and fingering herself. She put one hand on the wall again for balance and the other was rubbing her clit. I was holding her breasts and pinching her nipples as hard as I could without hurting her. Well, hurting her too much. Bella came twice while I fucked and fucked away. Hilde was now laying on top of the covers and had pulled her g-string to the side so I could see her pussy as she rubbed it. Bella sort of collapsed down onto the bed while I hammered her. In that position she clamped down on my dick. She was deep into some oblivion and receiving all that I was giving like a champ. I fucked and fucked and all the time she was sort of doing a mantra for me. She then awoke and turned to the side without letting my dick slip out of her. I told her I was almost there. Cum baby, cum on me, cum on my tits, cum on my face, cum all over me, please babe, cum baby, cum on me, cum on my tits, cum on my face, cum all over me, please…. I thought that would send me over the edge but I was nowhere close to cumming. I felt myself starting to cum. She looked deeply into my eyes and told me to come. I came so hard, thinking about Beta, Carly and now Bella. The beauty beneath me smiled and asked me to use her. She took over and jerked me, all while looking so deep into my eyes that I thought she must know what I have done that day. I collapsed beside her, so sweaty, tired and spent we were. Tits, tummy, neck, face, hair, hands and shoulders. Her hands found her clit and she said the sexiest little thing. I was almost on the point of no return when I pulled out and aimed my dick on her breasts. Cum sprayed everywhere on her. Cum was starting to leak down to her bed. I had forgotten about her. I stood up and took the sheets of the bed. Hilde gave us a slow clap. We were laying there for a few moments before Hilde came to us and helped Bella onto her feet. When I was finishing up tidying the bed I heard the shower stop. "Impressive performance" she said. Hilde came out of the bathroom, the only thing on her body was a big smile. I laughed and said no. Went to the closet to find a replacement. As I walked passed her she grabbed my dick and stroked it a few times but it did not come to life. I wouldn´t mind trying that thing on. I took a quick shower too and then straight to bed. I didn´t think my dick could handle any more. I checked my phone for messages, and to set an alarm clock, as I was working the next day. I just smiled and went to the bathroom, to my Bella. Hilde helped Bella to the bathroom and started the shower. We had some adventures but that is another story. well IN is the proper term, right? As I set the phone down, I noticed the time was 3:30. I visited her again a few months later but living so far apart was hard. Three girls, three, countries, 24 hours. I never did get to fuck Hilde. A small epilogue: I spent a few extra days in Stockholm with Bella. Carly was another story. She called me when I was still in Stockholm and told me that it didn´t happen. Then she started the mantra again. I had to come back to her and we had to try again and again until she was. We said our goodbyes and I have not seen her since, as she is still in Stockholm. I blocked her the best I could. I wanted to tell her about that day, but didn´t. I did see Beta a few times after this. She then started to stalk me on MSN and send me emails and trying to call me at all hours. This is what you get when you stick your dick in crazy. I am not pregnant, she said.

0 notes