#also soren and callum are now bros and ill fight people on it

[jelzorz]

145.

It's a recent thing. Soren has never had a reason to be anxious before, but he's never had his dead father come back to life before either, and there are nights when he wakes, shaking, screaming, unable to breathe until he knows where he is and that Viren isn't there.

Tonight is one of those nights.

He startles awake, half falling out of his hammock and shoving Callum out of his in the process. The ship—the ship?—rocks beneath him, and Soren scrambles, wide-eyed and terrified, for something solid to hold. Wood chips under his nails, his chest tight, his lungs caught between an inhale and an exhale, his vision, already dark and blurry, going blurrier still.

"Soren—Soren, hey! Hey, it's me!"

"Wh-what—"

"It's okay! You're safe!"

"Stay away from me!" He lashes out, his elbow connecting with something solid, his other hand reaching blindly for his sword.

There's a groan in the darkness, a scuffle, and someone half choking the word, "Bait!" before the world lights up and Soren blinks the nightmare out of his eyes.

"Callum?"

Callum groans again, his arms over his stomach the wind clearly knocked from his lungs, and—

"Oh."

"Yeah," rasps Callum. "Are you okay?"

"I—" Soren swallows, his throat still tight. "Yeah. I'm—"

Callum waves him off. "I'm fine. Take a minute. Sounded like a heck of a dream."

Soren's breath shudders in. It's the first one that actually reaches his lungs, and in the clarity, he realises that he's crying and that his hands are still shaking. "I—um—"

"You don't have to explain," says Callum, shuffling over to sit next to him. "I get it. This isn't the worst reaction I've had."

"What do you mean?"

Callum chuckles and nods at the hammock on the other side of the berth. "Rayla used to get them all the time. She pulled both her swords on me once. That wasn't fun."

Soren scoffs despite himself. He rubs at his eyes, hoping Callum will just assume he's trying to clear his vision, but Callum's always been smarter than that and he keeps his head respectfully turned away. "Did they—uh—get better?"

"She left, remember?"

"Oh."

Silence stretches between them. The ship creaks as it rocks.

"But she came back, too," says Callum after a minute. "And... I dunno, part of me thinks that she just didn't know how to deal with them, or how to let other people help." He sighs. "Don't make that mistake too."

"What?"

Callum breathes out carefully, his elbows against his knees. "I just need you to know that we're all here," he says quietly. "And that you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but you don't have to deal with it on your own either. Please don't think you have to deal with it on your own."

More silence, but within it, Soren can hear his heart starting to slow again, and feel his hands beginning to steady. And underneath that again, there's... warmth. Safety. The reasurrance that the family that will choose him is here. "I didn't think you cared that much," he says finally.

Callum chuckles a little. "I just don't think we can manage losing anyone else."

Soren snorts. "No," he mutters. "I don't think we can."