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drawing-way-outside-the-lines · 3 years ago

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🖊+ the OC you'd be besties with :D

Thank you for the ask :) Hmmmm... you're making it hard.... cause I do see a great potential to become "besties" with many of my OC's. Tumblr is making it even more difficult though, since it only allows me to attach 10 images to an ask post. I would have liked at least 5 more options, so sadly I'm now leaving out Wyatt, Travis and a bunch of lesser known characters such as Kris and Declan. Anyway, I love the question, cause it really made me think, who I could see myself become very close with, so here's my answer:

Dalton may or may not be an angel in disguise? He's undoubtedly too good for this world, and must be protected at all cost! I am at the firm belief, that had the world been blessed with more Dalton's, planet earth would no longer be in trouble, and it would basically be paradise. Dalton is the embodiment of everything good and pure, and only love runs through his veins. He's goofy, messy, a bit of a nut. He's extremely romantic, at least when it comes to writing lyrics. He's that type of person who will never give up the hope of a better tomorrow, at the same time he has a sentimental/melancholic view of everything around him, and at times a pessimistic view of the world, and where it's all heading. He's wildly creative, and there's not much he can't do when it comes to creating. A dreamer, has a vivid imagination, and a way with words. He's deep, often too deep for his own good, and as a result often drowns in his own depths. Also, he really likes crazy colored socks. And has the most radiant smile in the entire world! - When Dalton smiles, everyone smiles!

Gizmo is that guy you can call late at night, sobbing on the phone, cause your loser boyfriend/girlfriend AGAIN ran off with the household money. He'll rub your back while you sob about how miserable you are for hours, then share a big tub of ice cream with you, yes, you'll get to eat the biggest portion! He's warm, kind, thoughtful and will do anything to make you smile again. He's basically a big warm hug just waiting to wrap around you. Super down to earth, super chill, super friendly, super helpful. Trust me, he's simply plain super. Oh and he has a really great humor and scores high on the geek/nerd factor.

Andy... what's not to say about Andy? With a charisma brighter than the sun and a body hotter than Hades, who can honestly say he didn't get to them in some sort of way? He walks into everyone's heart with big dirty boots, whether he was invited or not! He's strong, but has a very sensitive soul and a loving heart as big as the moon! He'd do anything for the people he love and care about, and he's always ready to fuck shit up and get on some sort of crazy adventure. If you're into cheeky comments and sexy half smirks, Andy is the man for you! Cocky, but it's mostly just for funz. He has a fairly good self-esteem on one hand, and a shitty one on the other. However, he can melt even the coldest heart when he sings, and he's never shy to write a song about someone he cares for. He's multi talented, and doesn't mind if you spill beer on the floor of his 1969 Ford Mustang. And hey, he's a really fucking good dancer, he proves that by constantly dancing away from his problems! What problems?! He can't hear you! Music is too loud!!

Will will will.... will you please take a second to read about this awesome chick named Will(ow). She's crazier than that crazy aunt you have living in an old shoe factory in Memphis... yes, you know Aunt May, the free spirited naked, artist aunt with 50+ cats in her backyard. Well, Willow beats her! There's a reason her dad has been calling her Willow-Wonka, since she was a child. She has a filthier mouth than a harbor worker, and a louder more masculine laugh than a drunken sailor! She absolutely 100% commits to always having a blast, and to keep up with her you better get fucking going, cause she's always at least 5 steps ahead! She's a bright colored atomic rainbow, always spreading joy wherever she goes! She's a rollercoaster, just like her dad, but she always has her heart in the right place.

Your neighborhood friendly demon. A bit of a prankster, but never mean, unless you repeatedly get on his nerves, well, then he'll make you cry and beg for mommy. Nah he's cool, perhaps apart from the stalking, on the other hand, you're sure to never be alone for too long, if you know Raven. If you need coffee, he will always bring you HIS favorite - cause he knows better, he is several thousand years old after all! He's up for anything your heart desires, and if you're tired of superficial friendships/relationships, and you search for someone with a substantial depth to them, Raven is your guy. Protective, respectful and patient. Fuck authority! He's deeper than the deepest ocean, however, he is just as dark, don't go swimming into the deepest end, you might not like what you find. He's charming, highly intelligent, an observer, and if you're into getting lost in deep conversations, you've come to the right person.

That grumpy guy who always frowns at you at the supermarket checkout line. Highly intimidating, but oh so HOT! You just can't look away, though you're sure his glare might actually, eventually, kill you, if you don't! But damn he's worth it!!! You want to get to know him, but as you approach him, you barely get an annoyed grunt out of him. He's mysterious, sarcastic, always stuck in a cloud of smoke, smells like wood, motor oil, fresh herbs, incense and stale beer. He drives a black Dodge Charger and you swear the roar of the engine makes your privates purr just as loudly as Adrian himself does. He's a mechanic, which makes you wish you had a car, so you could launch it into a tree, just to have an excuse to drop by his place. He's quiet, and at first seems cold and distant. But if you manage to penetrate the exterior, there's a heart of gold beneath it and a friend/partner for life.

'Chase the man' - as he calls himself. Cheeky whirlwind of chaos and destruction, not in a negative way, he doesn't mean it! It's the adhd/add! Shit is that a rainbow?! Where were we?!!? Gets distracted easily, but keeps his focus with home grown, home rolled killer joints, yes, he will totally share! Ultra fast hardcore drummer, covered in colorful tattoos, down to earth, loves to chill and play video games. Don't expect him to be able to pay for himself, so whenever you go out, better carry money enough for both of you, as Daniel usually is broke. Where did his money go? Who knows? Not Daniel! He's the type of person who is friends with literally the entire planet.

Sam, say it deep, say it warm, feel the crisp Autumn wind carry red, brown and orange leaves in your direction. Smell the nutmeg, cinnamon, Anis, Clove, Thyme and Bay leaf. Candle light and old leather-bound books, Latin scribbles on yellowed pages, and warm fuzzy blankets - that's Sam. With a kindness unlike anyone you have ever met, he cares about everyone around him, from the soil you step on, to the seagull in the sky. Every living thing is valuable, and should be respected and taken care of. Sam is warm, attentive, curious, calm and collected. It's hard to rattle him, and he always serves as a steady rock for people around him. Whether it's the old lady who needs help to get over the street, or his sister needing help with a larger knitting project, Sam is always ready with helping hands. You'll never get a better foot rub/massage than Sam can give you, just saying.

Leo has a certain flow, as if he's constantly moving at the same rhythm as the sea, the sun and the moon, and the music of everyday surrounding us all. He's simply in tune with every particle of the universe. He's playful, optimistic, always up for some fun and games, and is simply that person who has such a great energy that it straight away affects everyone around him in a positive way. He's spontaneous and free-spirited, and every day to him is like a dance. If you need a 'pick-me-up' - Leo is your best bet! He's great with compliments and even better with self-esteem boosts! Oh, and he's actually a really good listener too!

Walter, is super down to earth, extremely chill, highly causal and enormously friendly. Although he mostly sticks to himself and his 4 roomies, he's actually quite outgoing and talkative, it's just that he prefers to chill around on his own, just as he prefers to listen rather than speak. He's quiet, but not to a point of being silent. Charming, smart, quick thinking and resting in himself. Walter is always pleasant to be around, and you'll find yourself looking forwards to seeing him again. He's a surfer, so he always smells of fresh saltwater and warm sand - if you're into that sort of thing?

#Daniel mumbles #tag thing #ask answer #Dalton Red #Gizmo Jensen #Andycorn #Andy Shaw-Thompson #Willow #Willow Amalthea Shaw-Cullman #Adrian Blackwood #Raven McKinney #Brandubh McKinney #Daniel Chase Hartwig #Sam #Samuel Cullman-Thompson #Leo Jinx #Walter Sea

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broadstflyers · 4 years ago

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The Philadelphia Flyers: A Saga, Section III: Forwards

Link to Table of Contents

Let the fun begin.

Travis Konecny, #11

Nickname(s): TK, teeks, was known last season as tiki bar curtesy of Kevin Hayes, also known as a raccoon or rat in the fanbase

Position: Right Winger

Draft class: 2015, 24th overall

I feel like this is a proper introduction to the absolute shit show (that we endearingly love and adore) that I’m going to dive deep into here. He makes up a lot of our fans’ inside jokes, so I’ll be sure to introduce them as we go.

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This is one of them.

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This was at the 2019 Stadium Series. TK had a ball that day with chirping the whole Penguins roster, and now whenever I see someone wearing earmuffs, I have the urge to yell this at them with no remorse.

There were also the famous comments of, “Karma’s a f*cking b*tch ay?” and “I was born at night, not last night. Come on, let’s go.” These are two other inside jokes that you may see around.

Watch him say these phrases here.

Sometimes TK gets lost on the ice.

Or falls sideways into the boards

Or leaps gracefully across the ice.

source for all three

Or turns into a mop.

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You can’t tell me there’s a thought in this man’s head.

Someone tell this man the plural of moose is....moose.

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This rat is a fan-favorite because he isn’t afraid to mouth off to people who lay dirty hits on him or his teammates. He was born to be Flyer, honestly. Apparently, he hasn’t stopped chirping and yapping since he was a kid. I think it’s because he’s (supposedly) 5′10. Short king energy, I say as I’m barely 5′1. So to sum it up, if you see someone in a scrum or causing issues, it’s most likely TK’s fault. Or if you see an orange blur fall down in the corner of your screen, that’s also TK.

To get to know Travis more, watch mic’d up video #1, video #2, and video #3 (this one is an offseason video). You can also watch this clip of TK and the other Travis in the playoff bubble, where they share the same brain cell over a bookshelf.

Kevin Hayes, #13, Rotating Road Alternate Captain***

Nickname(s): Hayesy

Position: Center

Draft class: 2010, 24th overall

How should I even start to introduce the guy with possibly the best personality on the team?

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Well, he would tell the Bachelorette that his best friend is Gritty. So there’s that. He’s kind of the designated hype guy. He’s in charge of giving out nicknames to his teammates. He gave Carter Hart “Cahtah Haht,” and Carter didn’t like it at first, but it caught on and he had like no choice but to accept his fate.

But the #1 fact you need to know about Kevin Hayes, he used to ref. Well, not exactly, but he claims he did.

Honestly, to get to know him and his personality, you have to watch mic’d up videos. They just describe him better than I ever could.

This is a short and sweet video on some of the names Hayesy uses on the ice and some backstories. You also hear “I used to ref” in there, too. Mic’d up video #1 includes him screaming about being a ref more in depth and having a mental breakdown over sucking (me too buddy), and mic’d up video #2 includes him not knowing it’s 80′s night.

Sean Couturier, #14, Permanent Alternate Captain***

Nickname(s): Coots

Position: Center

Draft class: 2011, 8th overall

Coots is a Philadelphia legend. That’s my Selke* winner! Literally a difference maker in every single game he plays. He went down with an injury at the beginning of the season. We are so glad to have him back now. His defensive ability is just stellar, and we are so lucky to have him as one of our top guys. We can count on him to score.

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If you’re interested in Coots’ journey to the NHL, watch this video.

*The Selke Trophy is given out to a forward who demonstrates the best defensive skills. In other words, they’re a good two way forward (source).

Scott Laughton, #21

Nickname(s): Laughtsy

Position: Center

Draft class: 2012, 20th overall

Laughtsy is for sure the other chirper and instigator, so he will be one of the people in the scrums or even encouraging them to happen.

Here’s Laughtsy and TK chirping a not so great NYR player (ew) because he was harassing Hayesy (they used to play together on NYR). Scotty Laughton sticks up for his teammates without fail, even when he was hurt (broken finger). During warmies he just sails around and has fun. Good vibes.

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He also has a cat. This is very important.

To get a better sense of Laughty’s personality, watch these mic’d ups here, here, and here. You can hear him encourage his teammates and call out the other team on their bs. He’s also extremely vocal on the bench, but it’s honestly the best.

Oskar Lindblom, #23

Nickname(s): Lindy, Piano Man (within the team usually)

Position: Left Winger

Draft class: 2014, 138th overall

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I don’t even know where to start with Lindy. He’s just...amazing. Words cannot express how strong and resilient he is. A lot of people thought his cancer diagnosis was career ending. And then Oskar really said, “lol you thought” and came back a whole season early. He’s a literal human superhero. He has been through hell and back to come back to the game he loves. You can tell he doesn’t take a second out there for granted because of the long journey he had to take to come back. Every single time he scores I almost cry, because I remember those days where I wasn’t sure if he was going to come back to hockey. And then to hear that he scored the game winning goal on 3/18? Just incredible.

He’s literal sunshine and such a sweet guy. His smile is so bright. He’s such a great asset on the ice. I will always talk about his grit. When he plays on the boards and wins those puck battles, he creates great scoring chances.

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Just look at his smile.

Here’s stick taps for Oskar during the Isles playoff series, and here’s a video on his journey back. It shows the positive steps he took to get back on the ice. It’s pretty emotional. Him and his sweet girlfriend deserve the world for what they’ve been through.

James Van Riemsdyk, #25

Nickname(s): JVR

Position: Left Winger

Draft class: 2007, 2nd overall

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He’s a Power Play king. When they say he’s in his office, they mean he’s getting into the crease in position for a deflection. So far, he has seven PP goals, and the top player this season so far has eleven, and he’s tied for eighth in the league. He’s been coming in clutch for us this season in terms of Power Play production. He’s also currently sitting at 13 goals and 18 assists, so he’s more than just a special teams guy.

Claude Giroux, #28, Captain

Nickname(s): G, O Captain, my Captain!

Position: Center

Draft class: 2006, 22nd overall

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Our captain Claude! Literally the most underrated NHL player because he hasn’t won a Stanley Cup yet (hehe). Honestly, that’s not his fault. He had to survive a 5-6 year rebuild. He tries so hard to pull wins for us and for his team. He did that on 3/18 against the Islanders, he scored and led that line to being the best producing line that night. He does what he’s supposed to do, but he is slandered a lot. If he had a cup, he would be talked about more often or more respected. I will die on this hill.

I’d like to think that he’s the father of all the younger guys and he has to keep them in line and stick up for them.

Here’s a compilation of G mic’d up over the years. It’s a good way to discover his personality (at the very end, he chirps JVR because JVR was drafted with the Flyers, played for three years there, and then was traded to Toronto only to come back some odd years later).

Nicolas Aube-Kubel, #62

Nickname(s): NAK, Kubes, Ku

Position: Right Winger

Draft class: 2014, 48th overall

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We can count on him for physicality anytime of the day. Great physical fourth-liner with grit. He had a Gordie Howe hat-trick** in arguably one of the funnest games in recent Flyers seasons.

**assist, goal, and fight in one game

Connor Bunnaman, #82, common call-up

Nickname(s): Bunny

Position: Center

Draft class: 2016, 109th overall

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Bunny is usually a go-to call up from the Valley whenever a guy gets hurt. He usually ends up on the third or forth lines. So you won’t really see him unless someone sustains an injury or AV chooses to sit someone while reworking the lines. He also lost his three top teeth and some of his bottom while he was playing for the OHL.

Read more about Bunny losing his teeth here.

Joel Farabee, #86

Nickname(s): Yung Beezer, Beezer, Bee, toothless (fan given)

Position: Left Winger

Draft class: 2018, 14th overall

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Pretty much everyone loves Beezer. He steps up when we need offense, and to think he’s only 21 years old in the midst of his sophomore breakout season. So far this season, he has 12 goals and 12 assists. Last year he had just 8 goals all season.

His specialty is looking confused all the time. He also wears glasses, which everyone loves. We will not be taking criticism at this time.

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He also begged a Bruins player to let us score at Lake Tahoe. I mean, it’s worth a shot, right? They might say yes.

Is this a good time to mention that when I met him, he signed my jersey upside-down lmaooo

He is also our best speller. This gif set never fails to crack me up. Watch his Lake Tahoe mic’d up here. Patty doesn’t know how Beezer scored there, either.

Honorary mention: Morgan Frost, #48 (Injury Reserve)

Nickname(s): Frosty, “There’s a frost warning,” puns on his last name, basically

Position: Right Winger

Draft class: 2007, 7th overall

Unfortunately, Frosty is on IR because of a shoulder injury. He is a common call up, and he’s also trying to find a permanent roster spot. He will be ready for next season.

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You can watch his NHL debt here and “Behind the Glass” with both Frosty and Beezer.

***There are a maximum of three alternate captains allowed on the ice at one time, so that’s why they rotate. The purpose of alternate captains is to handle talking to the refs about penalties or any rule discrepancies if the captain is not on the ice or unable to do so.

Read more about the role of a captain here.

#travis konecny #nolan patrick #joel farabee #claude giroux #sean couturier #morgan frost #oskar lindblom

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omegangrins · 4 years ago

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A Rant on the End of Tremors 7: Shrieker Island

As the main man said,

Throwing caution to the wind because this blew up elsewhere.

If you can do it with Justice League, fuck it, let's do it for every shitty movie we've got.

While we're at it, can we change the ending of the 7th Tremors movie so *MAJOR FUCKING SPOILERS* Burt Gummer doesn't die or at least bring Jamie Kennedy back, or Marvel style recast Jon Heder, so he dies saving his son instead of a random-ass person who could have easily saved themselves. Or cut the forced montage of Burt clips at the end so his death is at least ambiguous. Seriously beyond pissed about that one. THAT is no way for him to go.

I would also like to point out that the next Tremors *HAS* to be titled Tremors 8: Ouroboros and bring everyone back for Burt's funeral . Otherwise, what's the fucking point?

I have feelings about it, people. *FEELINGS!!!*

One of my favourite childhood memories is picking out Tremors 2 from the local gas station's movie rentals and forcing my parents to watch it. I was probably 5-6 at the time.

Let's say that it's been a lifelong love affair ever since. It took me another 10 years before I even watched the 1st. Probably why I hold good sequels in such high regard.

I didn't even know about the 1st until it played as a trailer in front of 2 and never thought to watch until years later. That's a testament to its filmmaking if I ever knew one.

So seriously, that's how they chose to kill off one of the most well known and prolific characters in a movie/TV series known around the globe? With an unnecessaryily needed death and a montage of clips from all the other movies that are obviously better than this one.

And I'm saying that as someone who defends Chibnall/13th Doctor...

...and I'm fucking fuming because THIS is how you *actually* destroy something people love and hold dear to their hearts. It's like the ending of Game of Thrones. His shitty ass death has made it a loooooot harder to rewatch. And they are one of my favourite series!!! Not flawless but fun. But I will defend every other movie and all the episodes except this. Honestly I'll still defend 7/8ths of this one as well.

Like I said, it's easily fixed too. Fucking vice versa swap out Jon Heder for Jamie Kennedy, who the movies have been building up for the last two, and have Burt save his son in front of his old flame. Boom, you won't even need the montage of clips cause you can just have Travis and his mom reminisce about Burt instead. Show not tell. I don't even care he died by Graboid (although in all honesty, I've allways wanted El Blanco to take him down or Burt kills himself from the PTSD. It would have AT LEAST MADE SENSE. Hell, the best would be a heart attack to callback Val's "Yeah, Burt, the way you worry, you're gonna have a heart attack before you get a chance to survive World War Three.". But none of us ever get the best death.). And it's not even about Burt sacrificing himself to save a nobody. Cause that could work too. BUT YOU NEED TO BUILD THAT SHIT UP. Not just fucking drop it like it's hot.

Like I said too, the first 7/8ths ain't bad but it's an entirely different story than a swansong for a hero.

It's all about some billionaire scientist/cowboy hunter dude who likes to get his jollies off hunting the biggest and the baddest who ends up inviting people to this island so they can hunt down Super-Graboids he designed for shits and giggles. But then some Shrieker-fy....

And the pretentious douches come and die one by beautiful one while Burt tries to save them anyway and it's all spectacularly dumb fun until it comes crashing down in the final 10 minutes. Fuck, they should just cut the last 10 minutes. Then it's a perfect little Tremors ditty.

#RELEASETHE7THTREMORSWITH10MINUTESFROMTHEENDCUT

This isn't even about Jon Heder either. He's just doing his job. Hell, do what /u/VoiceofRonHoward pointed out.

"It is clear that Jon's character was just pasted in over Jamie's, the artifacts of the father-son relationship are all over it. They should have gone full Marvel and just replaced Jamie with Jon and acted like nothing happened."

CAUSE FUCK YES!! The only time a story sucks is when they don't commit. Commitment makes all the difference. Now, I'm pissed double-pissed they didn't do that instead since Heder and Kennedy are similar in terms of white-boy-ness.

Even Michael Gross agrees:

"Yes, yes. Now I can't presume to speak for Jamie [Kennedy]. My understanding was they asked him and he said no. And so that's why they went with somebody else. So I had nothing to do with that decision. I just heard the stories. I missed him for that reason. You begin a relationship with the character, and you want to continue it....

...As you build a relationship with this son, we had two, it would've been nice to have three, but that was the hand I was dealt."

One of my favourite bits of Tremors lore comes from the 5th too so it's not like I hate sequel changes out of hand:

"This is a warrior dance. Our ancestors hunting the lnkanyamba and the Impundulu.

"What's that?

"Impundulu. It's what you call the Ass Blaster.

"Ass Blaster.

"Yes.

"Hey, you know, you make Ass Blaster sound good.

Primitive cultures fighting Graboids, Shriekers and Assblasters. I just love that thought.

Hilariously, my meta opening to the 8th movie would be a flashback to 10,000 years ago and a Neanderthal-like Burt Gummer teaching others how to drive Graboids off cliffs like they did with mammoths.

Thank you for giving me the space to rant. Cause fuuuuuuhhhhhhhhuuccck!!!

Here's Michael Gross' own words from his AMA that prove the people making Shrieker Island didn't know their shit.

"The Tremors series is one very close to my heart and I want you to know how appreciated your continued effort is for your core fan base.

My only question would be were there ever any studio decisions made for Burt that you refused to comply with? Or was everybody pretty much always on the same page on what to do with the character?

Thanks again for your dedication.

- Josh"

"Thanks for the kind words, Josh. As regards the first four films, with Wilson and Maddock as the writers, we were very much on the same page. 5,6, and 7 were a bit different, because there was a 13-year hiatus between 4 and 5, and we had to refresh our memories while "reinventing" the franchise for a new audience. I will give you one example: in an early draft of Shrieker Island, a new writer wrote a draft where Burt threatened to shoot one of the bad dudes, and I had to tell him—this is true—"Burt never intentionally points his gun at another human being."

And his own thoughts on Burt's "death" and how to bring it all back together again.

Universal and the director [came] to me with this idea, and they said, 'This could be emotionally very powerful, if we have to say goodbye to this man after 30 years. And I hemmed and hawed, and I thought about it a little bit. And I said, 'You're absolutely right about the emotional gut punch this can be.' And I said, 'You're going to hurt a lot of people's feelings.' And I said, 'But I thought this franchise was over after four. So I could certainly live with it being over after seven.'

"What we negotiated -- well, it wasn't really a negotiation, we all agreed on this -- is that we kind of left the door open. >!Because although Burt is gone, we never see a corpse. We never see his remains. Everybody assumes he's gone. Is he buried somewhere? Is he unconscious somewhere? We never see Burt dead. We see Burt gone. We see Burt not returning. What does that mean? Has he been knocked out? Does he have amnesia somewhere? Does he wander off? Is he in a kind of coma? So yes, the way it ends is pretty profound."

"As regards to the end of Tremors 7, let me just say that while people ASSUME Burt is gone, we never see his remains, do we? Just sayin.'

"The only reason he has become the main character is that everyone else in the original cast moved on to other things. I NEVER thought of him as the central figure, but it just worked out that Michael Gross, like Burt Gummer, was a "survivor." :0) "

"No one would like to see it more than I!!! One of my greatest regrets is that so many other cast members fell away over time. Reba was on to other things, Kevin said no to a second, Fred said no to a third. I would LOVE one last go with all of them, but it is not up to me. :0( "

"There are no guarantees, but for those who wonder aloud if this is the final film, I will say what I have said before: SALES drive sequels, Show biz is 5% show and 95% business, so if this latest addition to the Tremors franchise, sells well, [Universal] will follow the money, and Universal Pictures Home Entertainment may will be back for more."

/u/ActorMichaelGross, the bell has been rung and the song sung. Get the producers on this ASAP!!

I was also the first person to discover the symbolic foreshadowing of Stumpy's end with Earl's sleeping bag in the original movie.

Let's just say, I really *really* love these movies. So if anyone knows anyone, hook me up to the producers of this series and I'll Justin Lin in the Fast and Furious out of this shit.

Since I don't think it's good to critique without proposing either, I say we can make up for this fuck up with the next movie. We'll call it Tremors 8: Ouroboros. After the snake which eats its own tail.

We find out Burt faked his death to get the Proudfoot Corporation to let down their guard and when everyone from the previous series comes back for Burt's fake funeral they give him ever loving shit for being such a paranoid whack-job that he would fake his death to fool a government agency. Why would he do this? He found an old photo of Hiram Gummer with a Graboid warning on the back and asks himself why this valley, why these things, why allways me? And we find out, it's not Burt. It's that lifestyles of extremes will end up in places of extremes. Burt and the Graboids are survivors of different species. Sure the Proudfoot Corporation IS using Mixmaster to combine Graboids, Shriekers, and Ass-Blasters into one super creature for the military but it pales in comparison to Burt looking at his life and wondering in shame how many ancient giants like himself he has killed. And with that, he actually dies, and we keep the ball rolling with the rest of the characters trying to stop what they allways thought was just another one of Burt's crazy conspiracies.

That's why it's Ouroboros. Everything comes back around. We could end/start the movie with Grady, Earl, and Jodi opening a Monster World in Perfection Valley a la Desert Jack's Graboid Adventure. I don't know. I'm fucking trying harder than the people they paid to do this already.

It ain't perfect but I'm building on sand here so changes are gonna get made.

Like if the makers of Tremors notice this,

Then DM me because fucking A you guys need some help.

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mgkconfessions · 4 years ago

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AMAs 2020 1/2

The entire night summed up in one word: anticlimax! ^^ I had more expectations from our twin flame couple after all their cheesy paparazzi videos and Megan’s poetic talk about their once in a lifetime love story and deep spiritual connection and this was the best that they could do. Spoiler: It didn’t get more romantic than this!

You can really see the love and sparks between them and how happy and excited they were to be there with each other! ^^

Their outfits

Kells’ outfit: I like the colour, the material, the cut from the top and especially his hair. He took another risk with his outfit and did something different :). However I don’t like that they mixed the top with a hoodie pocket in the front and I don’t like the shoes with the trousers. I would have liked them more with a dark boot that was more loose around his legs.

Megan’s outfit: I like the green colour a lot, I think it’s suits her very well! The only two things that bother me are the long thing in the front that is hanging down and the strap from her shoes around her ankles, because I don’t like it together with the rest of her outfit. Her outfit wasn’t ugly, but it wasn’t anything exciting or special either. I find it rather forgettable. Also she forgot to tan her belly!

Since they attended the award show as a couple they should have made sure that they would look somewhat coherent with their outfits in the pictures and not clash so much to create a true power couple moment, which I assume was the goal of their red carpet moment. Kells’ outfit isn’t amazing, but he tried to stand out and not look boring and I would have liked to see a woman by his side who felt the same way about fashion and match his ideas about how to use it to step up the game. I think for Kells it’s very important to make fashion statements on red carpets and at events at the moment, but I don’t think that Megan is on the same wavelength, so instead of couple goals, they just looked like they were going to two different events and someone just randomly put them together for a picture. It would have been very easy for Megan to match Kells more, for example she could have used a silver purse or matched the style of his outfit better and I’m only focusing on Megan matching Kells here, because I believe that Kells very likely got the job to perform before Megan was even asked to be a presenter or in other words, I believe that Megan was only a presenter, because Kells was performing.

When they previously released a list of 10 presenters, Megan wasn’t among them and usually they would have used the best names that would get the most people to watch the show and Megan surely would have been one of them. In addition I believe it was in the SPIN interview, where they described how he got the phone call that he would be performing at the AMAs and how Megan grabbed her phone after he got the news. Who did Megan immediately need to text to share Kells’ good news with? Her mum? Or her team to get her somehow on the show now too, so she can continue to leech on to Kells’ success and make herself part of it, because lately any interviews and photo shoots that Megan was part of were actually Kells’ and not hers and that’s a fact you can’t argue with!

The posing

I don’t think that the red carpet moment was their only goal with the PR, however this was surely supposed to be a highlight of their relationship, because they used it to become red carpet official, Megan showed her tattoo dedicated to Kells for the first time and she even had the honor to announce her own boyfriend’s performance. All points that were supposed to set them up for a perfect couple goals evening and to make people fall in love with them. However they managed to fail that goal in every aspect! And I honestly was surprised at how badly they delivered! I was really not expecting that :D! They had one job to sell everyone on their relationship and couldn’t even do that although both of them work as actors and therefore acting should come more natural to them and we know that they can play the in love couple from all the paparazzi pictures and videos, where they also look awkward and staged, but I can see why people buy their show. At the AMAs I can’t understand anyone who saw them as a happy couple in love, not even if I tried it!

Two stones would have had more chemistry than Kells and Megan! What was that? Lmao! ^^ Megan is only trying to look sultry and sexy and is hyper focused on the camera while forgetting that there’s a guy right next to her who she’s allegedly madly in love with. She looks like she didn’t come to take pictures together with Kells, actually she looks like his presence annoys her and she would prefer to just have him stand there, not touch her and get in her way so she can do what she came for, seducing the camera and look hot for her ultimate media coverage. I agree with everyone who said that she looked rather mad tho. I don’t think that Megan is a team player, not in her relationship and not when it comes to attention. She was only thinking about how good she will look instead of how good they could look together as a couple if they focused more on being there together instead of themselves. I take Kells looking to the side and down as a sign of trying to offer a more natural couple pose, where they would have been interacting more with each other while showing his hair cut from a better angle too, but Megan was on her ego trip or pissed at Kells and didn’t look like she wanted to be part of what he wanted to do. I don’t see any specific emotion in Kells either when he looked down. He could have looked at a white wall and have the same expression. If people think that’s love in his eyes, their standards for love are seriously low! The videos for their pictures are my personal highlights tho, because anything that already looked embarrassing and awkward in the pictures is only amplified in the videos and shows even more how ridiculously they behave and I can take them even less seriously as a couple who isn’t selling their relationship for their career and personal reasons! ^^ At first you’d think that Kells posing with Megan was like he usually poses, because in a way it is, but when you see the pictures of him alone and with Travis he came a lot more out of his shell, stuck his tongue out and even made an exaggerated smile face. I think it shows that with Travis he feels more comfortable to be himself and act silly even at a public event while with Megan it was strictly all about business and keeping it cool and hot. I assume that they talked about how they would pose for the cameras and maybe Megan decided that awkwardly standing next to each other would be enough to sell their love while not taking too much attention away from herself and maybe they had an argument beforehand which would explain the bad mood and long faces too. It would have been better if they hadn’t focused so much on looking hot and instead enjoyed being there with each other and then maybe they would have got better pictures too where you could have seen that they at least like each other, because in those pictures they don’t even look like they want to have anything to do with each other! Someone on DailyMail commented that you can tell that they practiced their poses in front of a mirror and they literally did, because majority of their official couple pictures are mirror selfies where they stand next to each other like buddies and it won’t get any less awkward the more they pose like that! :D But the picture where both of them have their mouths open is hilarious! It’s probably one of the worst pictures I’ve seen of them. They look like wax figures! ^^

Their body language as a couple with such an intense love that Megan can only express it with toxic poetry is horrible although this was supposed to be their big couple goals moment! There’s no chemistry between them, I can feel the coldness and bad atmosphere around them by only looking at the pictures. I thought that we would see more of their super intense and special love and connection as twin flames, but there’s nothing between them. They look like two random people who were asked to take a picture together and afterwards went their separate ways. They aren’t interacting with each other, they are stiffly standing straight to the camera with their bodies. Both of their feet are also pointed towards the camera, which means that there’s no interest in each other in that moment and Megan even crossed her legs, which isn’t a good sign either. Like I mentioned, Kells looked at Megan one time, but she didn’t look back and he went back into his initial pose. And only then Megan tilted her head into his direction for a couple of seconds without ever looking away from the camera tho. It’s so awkward to see them pose in the video that it’s funny again ^^! Megan actually posed with Brian and Shia on red carpets a lot more naturally and in love than with Kells and so did Kells with other women too, who he was dating or had a thing with like Remy LaCroix or Halsey. But with each other, Kells and Megan failed this red carpet moment although they are self claimed twin flames like this is the ultimate relationship and they are with their ultimate partner and still they look like wax figures on their special day! In case anyone wants to claim that I’m only saying this because I don’t like them together there’s even an article about their body language at the AMAs from a body language expert who said the same things and even more. If you think there’s any love in these pictures, you’re lying to yourself! Thanks to the anon for finding the article! :)

“This is not what I'd expect from a couple who's gushing over each other," says Traci Brown, body language expert and author of Persuasion Point: Body Language and Speech for Influence after examining their pictures. Brown describes their body language as "almost emotionless."

Click here for the link to read the full article: Megan Fox & Machine Gun Kelly's AMAs Red Carpet Body Language Is Surprising

The announcement

We could argue now that it was just in that moment that Megan seemed more mad than in love with Kells when they took the official pictures, but when she presented him, she acted the same way. No emotions, not even a little bit of faked excitement although she was talking about all of us being under his spell for many years lol. ^^ It makes me wonder if she was only allowed to accompany Kells if she also announced his performance or her team thought that this would be a great idea, but she didn’t want to do it, she only wanted to come, look sexy at the camera, get her attention and articles and leave the work as per usual to Kells. But even on her own fan pages people noticed how emotionless she was and how weird that was, because if you are allowed to announce your own boyfriend, who was giving his AMAs’ debut, you’d think that you’d be more proud and excited about it and try to give your best and not what Megan did on that stage! There’s a behind the scenes picture where she is smiling on stage, the only time that she was caught smiling by the way, but when she was filmed, she was as emotionless as she was in the pictures that she took with Kells and those were the moments that mattered.

#amas 2020 #Part 1

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mountainwoman-universe · 4 years ago

Text

Backpacking in the Pacific North West

“You've seen the sun flatten and take strange shapes before it sinks in the ocean. Do you have to tell yourself every time that it's an illusion caused by atmospheric dust and light distorted by the sea, or do you simply enjoy the beauty of it? -John Steinbeck

Backpackers in the Pacific North West are the kindest, and most helpful group of people I have ever met. They treat each other as an equal and the Earth with respect while sharing their fondest memories in the tranquil outdoors. I am going to walk you through why I think these backpackers are a fantastic group of people while I analyze who they are in their online community.

The backpacking community upholds values of respect towards others, constant communication, and helpfulness. They expect members of this community to be honest in their adventures and share the hardships along with the highlights of their trip and everything in between. This group values constant communication, responses to the replies they receive, and to share advice to others by commenting on their inquiries and interacting with each other. This is a close knit community that has continued to grow over the years, they are a wall balanced group with all ages and genders included. They trust one another and invite each other to embark on crazy missions throughout the year.

The backpacking community can be intrigued by all sorts of posts. Because this is such a large community, each person individually is swayed by a different rhetorical appeal such as Ethos, Pathos, Logos. The majority of my posts and the ones I have seen have played upon Ethos. My posts have historically asked for advice from the masters of their craft, If you ask, you shall receive in this group and I have drawn out those who are credible and have given me examples that I can trust what they say.

For example, I used this opportunity to gain some advice from these experts on what backpacks I should use just or short day adventures. My post was specific and detailed requesting what information I needed. [Claire Platt] “Hey Everyone! I’m looking for a nice pack for day hiking, my old Columbia pack ripped and I loved it, but thought I would try something new. Ideally it would have enough shoulder support and a waist strap. If anyone has any advice it will be much appreciated! Happy adventuring.” I received incredible responses from the community that included links to their packs and why they specifically liked them.

User [travis stein] replied “I have a Fjällräven Kaipak 28 I’ve used for years and it still looks like the day I bought it and it is very comfortable.” Link to recommendation

Another helpful user responded quickly with multiple recommendations, user Tammy Gillett replied, “Are you looking for a women’s specific? And structured or more relaxed? And what size? I had the older version of this Osprey for many years. Actually still have it. Nothing wrong with it. I started doing slightly smaller hikes and learned not to pack so much that I didn’t need to due to bad hips and prior to my two hip replacements. During that time I started carrying this REI flash 22 and love it. It’s pretty basic and unstructured but I’ve been enjoying not such a big structured pack for the shorter hikes. It holds all I need.”

Link to recommendation .

REI.COM

Osprey Sirrus 24 Pack - Women's | REI Co-op

Link to recommendation

REI.COM

REI Co-op Flash 22 Pack | REI Co-op

Ethos has been a great way to reach this knowledgeable community because they love talking about what they love and have found works for them. Its harder to reach this community without asking more informative questions, they don't respond well to pathos. Earlier in January I reached out to this community asking for advice on hiking the Pacific Crest Trail in the summer. I mostly wanted advice because it is a large chunk of hiking and I need to train and buy gear for this trip, But I was hoping to get real experience stories. The closest I got to this was a response from [Kim Adkins Spalding] “Following as this is a goal for me and my daughter upon high school graduation.”

Typically this group is full of laid back members who are as honest as possible in their posts, however, there are frequently posts that don't meet the Admins criteria. In October, administrator Matthew Howell posted, “| Posting Requirements | To help with any confusion of what's being asked when sharing your pics to the group, I've highlighted several of my own posts to show as examples. It's not about the exact location, or anything to do with geotagging. In fact, I've never once asked for pics to be geotagged. I just simply would like to know where in the Pacific Northwest your pictures were taken. #backpackinginthepacificnorthwest #postingrequirements #whereinthepacificnorthwest #statethestate.”

This post was created because of an abundance of people submitting posts which were vague about their locations. One of the requirements when joining this group on Facebook is to be as honest as possible, and always tag where your photos are taken. Members are usually good about it, but leaving a place undefined gives this community no insight to where it is to check it out themselves. Keeping things a mystery on Instagram is much different than keeping it secret from a community that is dedicated to exploring, and can be frustrating when users withhold that information.

Additional admin commented on this post, one being David Danskey, “Thanks Matt. I'm on a few other sites and it is not helpful to the group when someone posts a picture and says, "Name this Mountain" or "I'm not giving up my secret location". Those types of posts defeat the purpose of belonging to a group.

It's true that some locations suffer from overuse. That is also helpful information to the unaware reader to know if they choose to go there parking may be scarce and you'll be sharing the trail with a larger number of people.”

This group is dedicated to sharing their experiences with the world of backpacking. Matthew Howell created this group because he wanted people who were passionate about the outdoors whether it be day hiking, long trips, questions, concerns, or even humorous posts that would keep the community positive are welcomed. The idea behind this is to create a dedicated network that allows for people to feel comfortable and have an online support system within their network.

This community mostly sees photographs of those who have escaped the confines of their home and got outdoors, they see posts of what is going on around them in the way of events, backpacking places, best times of year to go etc. Though recently snow hit the Pacific Northwest and a humorous post from Matt Bromley captured attention from these packers. “When you have snow in Portland and just have to check how your gear works at 25.”

Bromley took advantage of the rarity of snow in Portland and put his gear to the test. This post hit the community by storm (pun intended) and gave backpackers in this area the same idea, to test out their gear for a cold night.

After all my posting in this community I found that posts that are asking for advice always received an abundance of it. This community has been so helpful in preparation of an adventure, it is honestly amazing how much they care about other people sharing the community. It has been great to see posts of beautiful pictures receiving comments and likes while also seeing people getting involved in the planning process of other people's trips.

Posting on facebook grabs this community's attention better than any other platform. I have found that this is a group of people in different backgrounds such as economic status, gender, age, and experience level. On facebook, interaction is a high and are always very organized. People comment on posts and create their own threads to comment on. The conversations are always respectful, and disagreements are handled in mature ways. Most negative comments are erased by the admin and people are very good about reporting people who are bringing the group down.

This group is wealthy in knowledge, when I ask for recommendations on equipment I get large ranges of cheap to expensive yet, no matter the financial burden of getting supplies, getting outside nature is free, and getting recommendations of these beautiful places is unmatched from anyone else. This group is a great group to join if you are considering backpacking as a pastime in the future, whether you're green at this adventurous lifestyle or matured, they would be happy to have you and learn from the experiences you have created for yourself. Backpacking in the Pacific Northwest is open to everyone, happy adventuring, and don't forget sunscreen.

Cited

Platt, Claire. Looking for Backpack. Facebook, 2 Feb 2021, 1:44pm, https://www.facebook.com/groups/backpackinginthepacificnorthwest/. 14 Feb 2021

Stein, Travis. reply. Facebook, Facebook, 2 Feb 2021, https://www.facebook.com/groups/backpackinginthepacificnorthwest/. 14 Feb 2021 .

Gillette, Tammy. Backpack reply. Facebook,Facebook, 2 Feb 2021, https://www.facebook.com/groups/backpackinginthepacificnorthwest/. 14 Feb 2021

Spalding, Kim Adkins. reply. Facebook, 26 january 2021, 9:00am, https://www.facebook.com/groups/backpackinginthepacificnorthwest/. 14 Feb 2021

Howell, Matthew. Post Requirements. Facebook, 8 October 2020, https://www.facebook.com/groups/backpackinginthepacificnorthwest/. 14 Feb 2021

Dansley, David. Post Requirements reply. Facebook, 8 October 2020, https://www.facebook.com/groups/backpackinginthepacificnorthwest/. 14 Feb 2021

Bromley, Matt. Advantage of snow day. Facebook, 12 February 2021, 9pm https://www.facebook.com/groups/backpackinginthepacificnorthwest/. 14 Feb 2021

#backpacking #nature #gear #outdoors #mountains #hikelife #pnw #oregon

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fluorescentpipedream · 4 years ago

Photo

Dark and Stormy

“Ugh...” Bill scowled as he set down the tall glass on the polished marble bar-top Baccarat Bar and leaned back in his seat a little. Taking the lime off the side of his glass, he bit into it and held his hand up for the bartender, ordering a jack and coke instead. As the man took the glass away, he turned to see Rob staring at the ornate glass thing ahead of him them, behind the bar itself. After a moment or two, Rob blinked and looked away from the thing, nodding his head to Bill and came over to him. The two talked for a moment before agreeing to move away from the crowded bar and off to one of the small enclaves. They settled into one that had a long couch, where Bill sat and crossed his legs at the knee and crushed blue velvet chairs across from it, which Rob sat in, leaning forward slightly as he tried to get situated in the thing. He seemed a little uncomfortable for a moment or two, while he got settled but when the waitress came over he seemed to relax a bit more. The waitress asked them for their order and Bill shrugged.

“I’d ask for a dark and stormy but I already know how that’s going to play out..can I get a glass of water to go with my jack and coke?” He raised the glass he’d brought with him from the bar. Rob ordered an old fashioned and Bill smirked. Of course...he was an older man, after all. After a pause, Rob asked the young woman to bring around the cigar box as well.

“Do you mind?” Bill shook his head, he didn’t smoke himself but he wasn’t going to tell Rob he couldn’t indulge. When the young woman left them, Bill leaned back on the gold couch and pulled his t-shirt down a little as it rode up his stomach.

“What’s a dark and stormy?”

“It’s ginger beer, dark rum and a lime to calm the spice down”

“It sounds awful. How did you come to try that the first time?”

Bill chuckled. Adam had the same reaction the last time he’d seen him.

“It was in Nassau. I’d been on Paradise Island for a book signing and had a few days to kill before heading home. The hotel manager where I was staying originally suggested a little bed and breakfast near Fort Nassau. I’m a history buff so I booked myself a room and ended up staying for a few weeks. Took some tours, saw things I never imagined...spent the better part of a few days just sitting on the beach.”

“Ahh. I was there once for training but didn’t get to see a whole lot. What was so special about that particular B & B?”

“It’s one of the oldest buildings on the island, having been there since the Golden Age of Piracy and according to the man who owns it, it was the brothel where Jack Rackham and Charles Vane once lived. No telling how much of that was true, but there were some convincing historical markers all over the place He actually went with me to the Exuma Cays and had a little adventure with the swimming pigs.” Rob repeated the words and Bill took his phone from his back pocket, pulling up a picture of him and another man in crystal blue waters and surrounded by wild pigs.

“Well alright then...how did they get there?”

“I asked the same thing...no one really knows. The myth is related to the golden age of piracy, they swam to an uninhabited island after a shipwreck and eventually took over. No one actually lives in the Cays so it’s pretty much a free area for them. We also got to feed manta rays and see...” He held up a picture of himself holding a starfish. “It was a hell of a day trip actually. After we came back to the B & B, Jack made us some dinner and we sat beside a fire, bare feet in the sand, watching the moon over the water. He’s an odd fellow, very old soul.”

“So were you and him....?”

“No, Jack is -mostly- straight.” Bill laughed and leaned forward, taking a drink before setting his glass back down again. “ But I’d consider him a friend. He seemed kind of lonely, honestly.” Hearing his name, he turned his head slightly and held his hand up to acknowledge a large group of the 30 somethings that were standing near the edge of the bar. Excusing himself, he moved over to the side to talk to them for a moment.

“They’re all heading to the Crystals, but apparently Joey is splurging at some steak house in the Aria tonight. We’re expected, of course.”

“Hmm..” Rob was looking at his phone and Bill raised an eyebrow as he sat back down again. His own phone beeped at him and he leaned back, taking a small pill case out of his pocket and took one of the white pills inside with his water. As he washed it down with a sip from his drink, Rob had put his phone away again. The waitress came and brought him his cigar, cut it and lit it for him and set down another round of drinks for them as well. After he took a drag, Bill motioned to his phone.

“Boyfriend?” Bill asked.

“Hmm...I’m not sure what we are really. Mike is....I don’t know”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s strange having someone my sister’s age”

“You need a man”

“Hmm”

“Rob,” Bill sighed and took a moment to choose his next words carefully. The bar was relatively quiet for mid-afternoon and soft jazz played around them. As he looked over Rob he wrinkled his nose.

“It’s okay to start at this life late. Better late than never”

Rob frowned and took another long drag from the cigar. It was a Opus X Rare Black, one of the newer ones they had and definitely one of the more expensive ones on the menu. Even from where he was sitting, Bill could taste nutmeg and leather and as Rob breathed it in, he was pleasantly surprised by the spicy flavor.

“What’s that look for?”

Bill smirked and licked his lips. “I never considered cigars to be sexy before...that smells like leather and chocolate.” Rob laughed and offered it to the other man who turned it down.

“Tell me about the first time you realized you were gay.”

Rob looked a little taken aback and Bill narrowed his eyes at him. “You need to be able to say the word, if we’re going to get anywhere. Rob...You’re gay. There’s nothing wrong with that...from what your sister has said, your family isn’t against you, which is lucky. So where’s this coming from?”

Rob sighed. “The first person I was ever with was my best friend. We spent every waking moment together since we were in Elementary school I think. The first time I really noticed him in that way though....it was back in junior high school. It’s cliche but we went swimming and for some reason seeing him get out of the water floored me. We kissed but we had to keep it a secret and somewhere in the middle of that, I panicked. I enlisted almost immediately after my 18th birthday to try to run from it....I broke his heart. He got married and still lives in Nawlins...” Rob was irritated and blew out a cloud of smoke, exasperatingly adding “I’ve had 3 wives, five kids and one of those sons tells me that he doesn’t feel he was ever a son in the first place. I’m 52 years old and feel like I’ve wasted my life...”

Bill frowned and scoot forward so he could lay his hand on Rob’s knee, though the other man looked almost nervous when he did so. Seeing his discomfort, Bill took his hand away and leaned back again.

“That’s part of your issue right now...you’re so ashamed of who you are you aren’t giving yourself a chance to actually figure out who that is.”

Rob scowled but he knew the other man was right. “The first time I start dating, I do it with a guy who is half my age and more flamboyant than a damn peacock...sometimes. Mike is weird..”

“He’s young. He’s still trying to figure out what kind of gay he is.”

“He’s a damn genius, certified.”

“That doesn’t mean he’s got everything figure out.”

“Honestly, I think I’m a rebound.”

“What makes you say that?”

“His ex beat him and tried to get the upper hand on him, Mike told me about it when I got a little rough with him and he coiled up like a snake. Told me he’d bashed the other man on the head with something and left.”

“He’s upgraded then”

“He still loves Travis though...”

“That’s his problem, not yours. What kind of man could you see yourself being with?”

“I’ve never really given it much thought...”

“Surely you’ve...experimented? The military is about as gay as it gets.” Bill winked at him and the two laughed.

“I’ve had a few...”

“Top or bottom?”

“What?”

“Are you in control or not?” Bill looked at him and Rob shrugged. “Both...I think I actually like being the one not in control though...”

“You’re a bottom then...huh I never would have thought, honestly.”

“I can’t believe I’m having this conversation in the middle of a cigar bar in Las fucking Vegas.”

“Would you rather have it at the pool? You need to be able to be open about this kind of shit...this is your life. So...what do you want?”

“Every time I think about it, every single times, I end up falling back into the box that I’m too old to even worry about it anymore.”

“A lot of young men love the father figure idea, which I’ll never understand. That ‘daddy’ kink just kills me. But that’s their thing. Do you like it?”

“Eh...there’s something about a younger man on his knees, looking up at me with all the desire in his eyes but honestly I can’t see that turning into much more than a couple of rounds and then us parting ways. Which is the issue I think I have with Mike. I find myself wanting to actually treat him like my son.”

“So you need someone your own age.”

“Eh...I’ve never met a lot of old gays.”

“I’m an old gay, Rob. What do you think, we all dissolve after 35?”

“You’re not that old though. I’m a senior citizen for fuck’s sake”

Bill pinched the bridge of his nose and leaned forward, sneering slightly as he spoke. “For fuck’s sake, Rob! You are NOT that old! Sebastian told me how you put him in his place with the parkour/pull up thing...that’s not easy to do. Fuck, you showed up half of the little punks at the gym this morning.”

Rob looked down and smiled a little, thinking about it. The boys had been younger than Frankie and been making snide comments about the sexy girls in the gym and the old fart that shouldn’t be in there in the first place, he might break his hip. Bill had been doing pull ups beside him, with Rob counting, when one of the boys had started on him again he benched three times what the little pissant had, without even flinching.

“You know the answer to the question I keep asking you...what do you want?”

“I want to walk up to my former friends’ house and see if there’s any way he’d ever take me back.”

“I thought he was married.”

“His husband died a few months back...”

“That’s terrible...but maybe having a friend like you coming back into his life would actually be a good thing...The least you can do right now is see where he is in the situation...would he be interested or should you move on. It’s a lot easier than you’re making it. But if the kid isn’t making you happy...there’s no shame in telling him that. Maybe it’ll give him a chance to find out what he really wants to do with his life.”

“Or he’ll go back to an abusive drunk.”

“There’s no shame in keeping up with him but once you break it off, you aren’t responsible for what he does. You’re not his father...” Bill leaned forward and picked up his drink and with the glass pressed against his bottom lip he said “you’re his fuck buddy.” Rob looked bewildered and the other man laughed into his drink, setting it down again.

“What about you? All of your friends are -mostly- straight.” Rob fired back at him.

Bill frowned and dropped his head to one side, pushing his blond hair out of his face when he pulled it up again and sighed. “I’m almost 40 years old and AIDS positive.” Rob knew but still looked shocked at how cavalier he was about it .

“I’m not ashamed, Rob. I fucked up, shared needles while I was an addict and paid for it...ultimately with my life. But I refuse to let this thing kill me without actually enjoying my life. I was in love once, but he and I turned out to be better friends. Anyone else I’ve been with never really takes hold and honestly...” Bill thought about it for a moment. “I don’t want someone that can make me scream into a pillow or beg me to make him cum. I’ve had some time to think about this and what I want is someone I can talk to, travel with, see the world and just...spend the days with...” He trailed off for a moment. “Those nights on the beach with Jack, that’s what I want. Except with him, I know it’s just friendship and I’m fine with that, though I’d love to have someone that loves me as much as I do him, is as adventurous as I am and will be there to hold my hand when I take my final breath.”

It was sad when he really thought about it and often tried not to do so, but the biggest thing about him, Bill wasn’t ashamed of where he was in life. After his diagnosis, he’d decided to make the best of it and to do everything he possibly could. He had a bucket list and was slowly ticking things off of it. He’d climbed Everest, been to the Bahamas and was hoping to get to Argentina to go fishing specifically but he wanted to go from there to Chile and see the ruins and before he’d come on this little birthday trip, he’d been training to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro. Bill wanted to live and do all the things people would tell him he wouldn’t be able to because of his diagnosis. After a moment, he leaned forward and picked up the cigar Rob had been smoking, taking a drag off of it and coughed a few times before setting it down.

“Good god...I guess I can cross that one off my list too...”

Rob sat in silence for a moment while he tried to digest most of what Bill had said and had told him about what had happened in his life and how he’d just picked up and turned it into something else. For himself, Rob had wasted most of his life hiding who he really was, and what did he have to show for it? In two days, his little sister was going to be surprised with a wedding, he knew about it, and their parents were going to be there too. He was here early, having told her that he wanted to do something spontaneous and randomly decided to come to Vegas. Mike couldn’t come with him or hadn’t wanted to come or...whatever the reason was and Rob knew Frankie was smart enough she was eventually going to figure out that something was going on. Which is one of the reasons he was spending as much time away from her and her friends.

As Bill suddenly leaned forward and took his cigar from him, Rob chuckled, though stopped when Bill mentioned his list. Bill took a couple of drinks of water to clear his throat and wiped the corners of his mouth as he tried to breathe without coughing.

“So...what do you think of this surprise wedding thing? I don’t think I’ve seen anyone as totally in love with another person as I have with Sebastian and your sister. I see why he turned me down when I met him.”

“Considering her his---...wait. You hit on him?” Rob’s eyes widened.

“Oh yeah...wouldn’t you?”

“He’s not really my type.”

“Oh so you do have one....”

“I have questions about Joey but he’s a good kid. And Jasper....”

“Yeah....he’s definitely easy to look at.” Rob smiled, in spite of himself and Bill only grinned at him.

“You old fag...Want to get your hands on that ass, huh?”

“...”

“I’m teasing. I think he knows honestly..”

“That makes it worse.”

“The man’s a professional fighter and spends most of his time in tight shorts and no shirt, he’s got to know there are people that jack off to his pictures.”

Rob went quiet for a moment before suddenly laughing. “I used to have the issue of Men’s Health in my office...”

“Oh so did I.”

After a few minutes of silence their conversation turned to Bill’s next book, or next adventure and if he would ever consider writing an actual travel book...the stuff they don’t tell you when you have an illness and still want to see the world. Rob invited him the New Orleans to go fishing in the spring for red fish. “They’re a trash fish but they’re actually really good if you cook them right...” And then it turned to the two of them planning a trip to Argentina to go fly fishing with a company called Solid Adventures.

“The idea of a 38lb glacier king salmon is too much to pass up in my short lifetime” Bill laughed as he had the waitress come back to their table, though this time it was for the check. Rob paid this time, and Bill playfully asked him if this was a date as they stood up and walked out of the bar. Sebastian had texted that they were on their way back to get changed for dinner, Joey’s dad was going to have a car take them over in an hour.

“Do you really think Frankie is going to be surprised by this wedding thing?”

“I think so. She’ll never go through another one that she’s got to plan, I think it’s better that its getting sprung on her. And as much as I want to hate him, you’re right. No one has ever loved her as much as that man does.”

#conversations #characters #josh brolin #Jasper Pääkkönen

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queeniewritesce · 5 years ago

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Recommendations (2/2)

This is part 2 of my entry for the @mrs-captain-evans 2,5K followers Writing Challenge.

Summary: Twitter is a strange place. But once in a while, you connect with someone.

Word count: 2,484

Warning: mild language, 35 seconds of angst, could be less if you read it fast.

The heavy double-paned door opened with a jingle and a creak, letting the cool air from late November enter the small café on Arrow Street. You didn’t bother looking up from your laptop, where you read an article about penguins instead of finishing grading yesterday’s pop quiz.

Procrastinating was your new favorite pastime since decreasing your online presence. Not that it stopped the ache you still felt every time you opened Twitter to post a new article, which was the only content you shared nowadays. Gone were the jokes geared towards your students, pictures of Captain Hook, or commenting on the everyday shenanigans of the White House and Congress.

The less you shared, the less you cared, and the only reason your profile was still up was because of your job.

You checked the time on the bottom left of the screen. Professor Kincaid’s class had been canceled and you had one hour to kill before your own class started, which prompted you to run to Bean There for a fresh pot of coffee and one huge Boston Cream doughnut.

As you read about penguins kidnapping other chicks if they own young died, you got wind of the murmurs and rushed voices going on around the room. You tried to tune them out, young people got excited about anything but they seemed to get louder and louder with every passing moment. You located your bag seating by your feet and was looking for your headphones when a pair of black boot cladded feet stopped in front of you.

Pursuing your lips, you let the ears buds fall back inside the pocket but didn’t bother to look up. If your assumptions were correct, the owner of those boots was the cause for the raucous around you.

“Y/N…”

Yep, the voice and the boots belonged to the same person.

Tears made your eyes sting and you blinked to prevent them from falling. You minutely shook your head, not knowing exactly what you’re trying to convey; that this was not the place or that you’re not, would never be, ready to talk to him.

“Please. Can we talk?”

The hurt in his voice gave you pause. Why would Chris feel anything but pride at playing you as he did? Did he want to do a coup de grâce to your ego?

Keeping your eyes downcast, you lowered the screen of your laptop, glad you hadn’t bothered with the power strip. Shifting the electronic around you other stuff took more time than intended but after a few tries, you zippered up your bag, grabbing some money out of your wallet and dropping it on the table.

You got up and your nose pressed against the most muscular chest you ever saw. He was so well built that you could see the hard contours of his pecs through the thick cream sweater he was wearing. The smell of his cologne hit your nostrils and you almost swoon, finally looking up.

He shouldn’t be allowed the whole package, that was so unfair to you.

Deep blue eyes framed by thick eyelashes stared back at you, the lower half of his face covered in fine auburn whiskers that couldn’t be more than two weeks old at the most, looking so soft that you had to restrain yourself from reaching out and running the tips of your fingers through them.

“All I am asking is for a chance to explain myself.” Strong fingers reached for you, encasing your small hand in his as if he really wanted you to stay. You scoffed at the notion, this man really knew how to play you. Did he get off in toying with you?

Your scared eyes looked from his eyes to your clasped hands and back again, silently begging him to let you go. He mouthed a soundless no and stepped towards you, bridging the already small gap between your bodies.

Later, if someone asked you why you did it, you would blame your next course of action on the overwhelming need to escape.

“Look, everyone, it’s Chris Evans.”

Chris’s eyes widened and a different kind of hurt clouded his vision. Betrayal. He let your hand go.

Good. Maybe know he would understand exactly how you felt.

A round of applause broke out around the café and the whispers were now cheers. The discretely held cellphones now pointed straight at the man in front of you.

Move, get out. Your feet took their sweet time obeying your brain, but soon you’re grabbing your coat and your messenger bag and making a beeline to the door, not bothering with actually putting on your coat before the full brunt of Boston’s late autumn slammed into you. You powered through, running through the streets that led you to your office, not once looking back, certain Chris would not follow.

Entering the gray building that housed Media Studies and Social Analyses, you allowed yourself to slow down and take a breath. Safe.

The lights stayed off when you entered your office, the loaded mahogany bookcases and dark upholstery making the room more ominous than it truly was.

You let your bag slide to the floor near your desk, not really bothering with damaging the electronics inside.

Heavy feet carried you to the sofa under the balcony window, where you sat with unfocused eyes, mind running a mile a minute trying to understand how your life became a drama movie in just a few short months.

What was Chris doing here? You thought you made your feelings clear when you blocked him. The pain ebbed away after a few weeks, diluted to an ache that accompanied you day and night. For a fleet moment, you had entertained the idea of a relationship with Chris. Not Evans. Just Chris, the wholesome and funny guy you got to know during those four months you spent trading messages with. But that guy didn’t exist, he was just a persona, one more character created and well played by Chris Evans. Right?

There was a knock and whoever was outside didn’t wait for an answer before your door was pushed open.

Professor Travis stuck his head inside your office, a scowl on his face.

“If I hear one more student going off about the Oscar worthy drama on the media department I’ll flunk them and fire you, we’re not a telenovela. Fix whatever this is or convince him to stay away, I got your next class covered.”

He pushed Chris inside the dimly lighted room, raised his eyes brows pointedly at you and left, the door closing firmly behind him.

Silence stretched around you, uncomfortable and unnerving.

His hands stayed on his pockets, heavy coat looped around one arm while Chris took inventory of his surroundings before focusing on you, his gaze never wavering.

“Can I sit?”

You didn’t expect the croaked voice, nor the way it warped around your heart.

Two fingers pointed to the chairs on the other side of the center table. A safe distance, an actual barrier between you.

Of course, he decided to sidestep the table and sat opposite you on the love seat, his knee almost touching yours.

“What you did back there was treacherous and mean.” He faced forward, fingers drumming on his knees. “I guess I deserved it.”

“You did.”

“I never thought those would be the first words I’d hear you say direct to me.”

You cocked your head, not sure what to say to that.

“I mean, I thought about our first meeting, how you would be surprised but also happy I wasn’t a serial killer, just a dumb actor with too much free time on his hand.” He let a dark chuckle. “I never expected you to out me to a room filled with twenty-somethings years old and run away.”

What did he mean by thought about you? You admittedly had mulled over the idea more than once, wondering if you would click on the real world as much as you did online. Even created a list of topics you could revisit from your online conversation, mixed with silly questions you’d never asked him, like blueberry or chocolate chips on your pancakes? Could this man, so famous he couldn’t even walk into a coffee shop without being recognized, also be so committed to the idea of meeting you?

No matter. He still deceived you.

“I asked you once if you were catfishing me. You said no.”

Chris whole body faced you and he trained his eyes on you.

“I wasn’t. I looked up what that word means. I don’t fit any of those boxes. I’m not in it to hurt you. I never said I was someone else. I just never told you my last name.”

“Or who you actually were.”

He huffed.

“See, that’s where you’re wrong. I shared with you exactly who I was. Am. My opinions, my true likes and dislikes. I didn’t sugarcoat it or played dumb, I didn’t hide behind a forced laughed or a sound bite. You got Chris, the whole unadulterated version.” His expression hardened. “It’s not easy to open up like that when people expect you to be a certain way, act another way. Since you teach about expectations and the effects mass media has on other people, I believed you’d understand why I had to hide behind a pseudonym.”

It was not the first time you wondered what was like on the other side of the fishing lenses celebrities were under. You taught the basics of how media twisted and organized exactly how the public perceived being famous, asking your students to always remember no matter how famous someone was, there were first and foremost a human being.

“I understand why you did it, that doesn’t change the fact that you lied to me.”

“I never lied to you.” Chris rebuffed.

“You told me you were a flight attendant and you worked for Delta.”

“No, I didn’t. You assumed all that, I just never corrected you.”

“I…”

He was right.

You remembered all the times he changed the subject when you discussed his work and you honestly believed he was embarrassed about his job. You never asked what he did, or what he was doing in Atlanta for so long.

You felt the hot flashes of embarrassment creeping up your face and you hung your head low. Were you really so obtuse?

“I’m sorry.” A staggered breath left you. “I’m sorry I didn’t ask and assumed.”

“I have my own share of the guilty Y/N. I wanted to tell you, I wrote hundreds of messages but I could never send them. I was terrified you wouldn’t believe me before I could send you proof. And then I told you my name and it got comfortable, I wasn’t lying, just leaving out some stuff.”

“A lie of omission is still a lie in my book.” The serious tone of your voice washed over Chris and he winced.

“I got that when you blocked me.”

Once again the room was quiet save from the filtered shuffling of feet coming from the corridor.

As a true scholar, you analyzed all the information he gave you, looking for strong points and flaws on his reasoning. It all checked out. You wouldn’t have believed him. He never outright lied to you.

There was only one question left unanswered.

“Why are you here Chris?”

His smile warmed you, made you want things that you shouldn’t. Images fleeted through your head, other times when he could smile to you like exactly like he was doing now.

“I’m here because I spent all summer and most of autumn inside a hot as hell costume, my hair dyed blonde, stuck inside a hangar filled with fake debris and green screens, and the only thing that kept me sane was that when I was on my breaks or done for the day I would open Twitter to a new message from you. I’m here because you were my island of calm while I drifted with anxiety.” Two fingers slid under your chin and he gently made you look at him. “I’m here because I like you.”

“You like me?” You repeated and he nodded.

“I do. You’re funny, wicked smart but you don’t take yourself too seriously unless you have too. You admitted to being a nerd, which if I didn’t make myself clear during the whole Hubble debacle, so am I.” He pointed to black baseball hat he was wearing and you saw the NASA logo. “On a shallower note, you’re way, way more beautiful than all my previous teachers combined. If all professors look like you, I might even give this whole college thing a try.”

Well, wasn’t he a smooth talker. Your smile now matched his.

“So do you like me like me or like me as in she’s okay?”

“Baby, you’re so far removed from okay, it might need a visa to visit you.”

The room filled with your laugh, your heart finally free of the hurt you carried the past few weeks.

He liked you.

“You’re not a nice guy.”

His smirk told you he knew exactly was this was going.

“I’m kind of an asshole.”

“I’m not denying that one.” He pouted and you wanted to kiss him. “So, not a nice a guy but not a complete asshole, so not a bad guy either.”

He got closer, his fingers playing with a loose tendril of your hair, the other hand fastening on your waist.

“That considerably narrows down your options, uh?”

His smile was contagious and you grinned back, shyly nuzzling his chest.

“How about you? You know, if you’re still interested.” You beamed at the man in front of you, bitting your lower lip.

“Let me show you how interested I am.”

The words were barely out of his mouth when his lips descended upon yours. He poured himself into the kiss, months of wanting you, feeling close but so far away. He fell for you during those late nights you stayed up texting, giving his heart and mind and receiving yours in return. He kissed you gently, slowly coaxing your mouth open, his tongue brushing yours.

He trailed his hands up your back to bring you closer and you shivered, settling contently against his chest, your fingers making their own journey to the back of his neck, brushing your hands on the hair there.

“How about that date?” Chris said against your mouth. “Let me take you out to dinner.”

“How about I cook for you instead? My house, 8pm?”

“I’ll be there.”

Disentangling yourself from his arms, you grabbed a notebook from your coffee table, writing down your address and handing it to Chris, kissing him on the cheek.

“Now go before Professor Travis forgets how much he likes us and I lose my job.”

You moved from the sofa, putting some space between both of you. You grab your bag, checking to see if your syllabus for the next class is still there.

“Y/N?”

“Uhm?” You’re sure he’s gonna kiss you again when he comes closer, his lips brushing the shell of your ear.

“One thing though.”

“What?”

The feel of his breath when he speaks so close to you gave you goosebumps. You’re ready, so ready to be kissed again.

“You gotta unblock me on Twitter. I only ever want one person to block me and believe me, you’re not him.”

#Chris Evans Fanfic #Chris Evans Fan Fic #Chris Evans Fanfiction #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #mrs-captain-evans #writting #writting challenge

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night-filled-mountain · 6 years ago

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So, uh. I wrote a post. About Fjord and Caleb. It is over 3000 words long. I’m not going to make any attempt to justify this as a life decision. All I’ll say is that I am sure as hell putting this under a cut, and I would only venture beneath that cut if you really, really want to read an obsessive analysis of practically every significant interaction Fjord and Caleb have ever had (complete with direct quotes thanks to the light of my life, @crtranscript) that is longer than a goddamn term paper.

So the thing that keeps getting to me is that when Caleb agreed to bleed all over a dark altar to satisfy Fjord’s (and his own) curiosity, and he asked if Fjord would help him with his own goals when the time comes, Fjord didn’t say “Yes” or “It’s a deal” or anything along those lines. He said, “Always.” (This was in episode 44, which we all know, but I’m noting it because I’m going to be talking about a lot of different episodes in this post.)

We all know that Caleb tends to view almost all social interactions as transactional. (I’ve seen people claiming that Nott is the one exception to this rule, and I’d actually argue that Jester is the one exception, but that’s a whole other post.) Fjord, on the other hand, does not view his relationships with the Mighty Nein that way. He never has. In fact, I feel like he, more than any other member, has seen them as a family from the start. Furthermore, I think that this fundamental misunderstanding between Fjord and Caleb goes back almost as far as the campaign itself.

Courtesy of the amazing folks @crtranscript, here’s their famous conversation from episode 4 of this campaign, “Disparate Pieces”:

Caleb: This group seems rough around the edges, but you seem clever. Hopefully we can make this work.

Fjord: I think we should be able to, yeah. I mean, a little guidance goes a long way. You seem to be good at looking out for Nott.

Caleb: I mean, full disclosure, I’m a little rough around the edges, but you catch my drift.

Fjord: I do. You can trust us. You’re safe here. I’m concerned with what happens with Jester and Beau. I think, amongst all of us, we should be fine.

Caleb: Let’s make it work.

Fjord: We’ll make it work.

The thing is, I don’t think Fjord does catch Caleb’s drift, or vice versa. Caleb is talking about practicalities--about his hope for a group that can remain cohesive for a while, protect him from danger, and help him achieve his goals, assuming he does the same for them. His comment that they are “rough around the edges” is an expression of his anxiety that they will not fulfill those criteria, which is why he comes to Fjord, who he sees as the most levelheaded and friendly of the bunch, to try and assuage his fears.

And then there’s his “Full disclosure, I’m a little rough around the edges,” which reveals an alternate anxiety that he struggles with enormously to this day: that he might not be useful to them--or at least, not useful enough to off-set all his baggage. Caleb sees other people as commodities, but he also sees himself that way. Yes, he has considered leaving the Mighty Nein with Nott (or even taking off on his own) when he starts to feel they might endanger his life or hinder his goals...but he is also afraid of being forced out. Of being abandoned by the group if they learn what he’s done, or the fragile state of his sanity, or how much danger hangs over him. From his perspective, his entire relationship with Beau hinges on this fear, and it (along with Beau being...Beau) periodically gets in the way of the genuine friendship they might otherwise develop.

In short, Caleb went to Fjord in “Disparate Pieces” to find out whether he thought that the future Mighty Nein would make a good toolbox, and to pitch himself as a useful tool in that box, despite his shortcomings. Fjord, though, takes things much deeper than that:

He acknowledges friendships and protective urges within the group (“You seem to be good at looking out for Nott” and “I’m concerned with what happens with Jester and Beau”). He’s positioning himself and Caleb as protectors within the group, watching over its younger or more chaotic members, without even considering why they would want to/what they will get in exchange. (Note that at some point in those early episodes, he even offered to protect Frumpkin if that mattered to Caleb.)

He doesn’t offer Caleb any specific skills or services, nor ask what he can give in return. Instead, he makes an unconditional blanket statement: “You can trust us. You’re safe here.” Considering the sum total of Caleb’s life experiences, it seems highly doubtful that Caleb actually believed him. Yet I’m pretty sure Fjord meant every word.

He doesn’t think (like Caleb will in episode 26, “Found and Lost,” after the Iron Shepherds abduction) about what each member of the group might contribute to his goals. He just makes another blanket statement: “Amongst all of us, we should be fine.” In his mind, they’re already a unit. And not just a functional unit like a toolbox, or even a ship’s crew. They’re a family. They’re like two misfit dads with a pack of adopted misfit children. (This also goes a long way to explaining the perpetual tension between Fjord and Nott, but again, that’s a whole other post.)

And to me, that’s it right there, the fundamental divide. Mighty Nein as toolbox vs. Mighty Nein as family. It explains Caleb and Fjord’s one big schism: Scrollgate (episode 12, “Midnight Espionage”). To Caleb, you always use the handiest tools in your arsenal, whether they happen to be your teammates or a magical scroll in a drawer. To Fjord, the safety of the family comes before personal goals, always: “We’re either a team, or you’re working for yourselves. Decide.” And note that a few seconds after Caleb “decided” (by dropping the scroll and walking out of the room), Fjord was hauling an unconscious Caleb out of a burning house and pouring a healing potion down his throat. Their confrontation was irrelevant the moment Caleb confirmed himself as part of the family.

This division doesn’t just explain why they’ve clashed in the past, though, but also why their relationship has improved. When did Fjord’s opinion of Caleb take a turn for the better? When Caleb showed up at the Sour Nest, played a central role in defeating the Iron Shepherds and freeing his kidnapped teammates, and then comforted them and expressed affection for them (episode 30, “The Journey Home”). Travis said on Talks Machina that both he and Fjord were surprised by Caleb’s behavior--he’d expected Caleb to “throw it in their faces” or talk about how they owed him for the rescue. And honestly, is it any surprise he expected this? It would have fit Caleb’s m.o. perfectly. Both the rescue itself and Caleb’s selfless behavior afterward were a major turning point for Caleb, a non-transactional approach to his relationship with the gang. And Fjord fully recognized how huge that was, and took care to thank Caleb specifically for it.

But that brings me to the current Avantika/Uk’otoa arc, and all the fascinating Caleb/Fjord interactions it’s brought us, culminating in the madness that was Thursday night’s “blood pact.” I think that, during this arc, the tables have turned. If the Iron Shepherds arc helped repair their relationship because Caleb began to act more like Fjord, then this arc has complicated their relationship because Fjord (as Caleb sees it) has begun to act more like Caleb.

This, I think, has been the subtext lurking beneath Caleb’s repeated, insistent questioning of Fjord about what he wants, what his specific goals are during this quest, and how he wants the Mighty Nein to help achieve them. It makes perfect sense that Caleb has been so frantic to get to the bottom of that question, and that Fjord’s genuinely confused and non-committal answers have been driving him nuts. Because, from Caleb’s perspective, Fjord is finally utilizing the Mighty Nein for their proper purpose: to achieve personal goals.

Fjord must have goals. He must have a specific design for the thing he wants to build with his toolbox (because Caleb does, and Nott does, and Trent Ikithon did, and that’s pretty much the full range of Caleb’s experience). If he would just say what they are, Caleb could get back on familiar ground and frame the whole quest as transactional, offering to help achieve Fjord’s goals in exchange for the same privilege down the line, or refusing and cutting his losses if the risk is too high (which he threatened to do if Fjord tried to awaken Uk’otoa). If, however, Fjord won’t state his goals clearly, he must be shady, untrustworthy, deliberately hiding something, trying to manipulate his “toolbox” to achieve the desired result. It couldn’t possibly be because he never had a plan beyond “Find some answers and assume my family has my back.” It couldn’t possibly be that he wants the decision process to be collaborative, even during his own personal quest, because that’s how a family gets things done...could it?

So we have the two of them constantly, subtly working at cross-purposes. In episode 40, “Dubious Pursuits,” Caleb tells Fjord, “You do what you have to” with regard to the Avantika situation, assuming that Fjord will do the practical, goal-oriented thing: sleep with her to protect himself and the group.

But I suspect what Fjord really wanted in that moment was for someone (or everyone) to offer him help or reassurance, to serve as a buffer between him and this woman he was openly baffled by and terrified of. While Caleb’s go-to strategy when things get tough is to make a plan (often involving “calculated risk”) and implement it without consulting anyone, Fjord’s is to assemble the entire group and solicit their opinions, listening to and weighing every single voice before coming to a consensus. He actually tries to make this very clear to Caleb earlier in the aforementioned conversation: “I need more info, Caleb. I need more data, more knowledge. You read books on this stuff. There has to be someone out there that knows more about this before we just charge in.” When Caleb expresses serious concerns about Fjord’s intentions, Fjord answers, “I have no interest in dealing with matters that predate time as we know it. I’m pretty simple. These days I’ve spent with you are the most exciting of my entire life. I’m not looking to end them, or the world, by frivolously giving up something that I barely understand.”

This is an answer that Caleb absolutely cannot believe as long as he keeps projecting his own goals and values onto Fjord. Because Fjord is prioritizing his found family over power, over ancient arcane knowledge. Nothing sounds faker to Caleb than the two sentences that might be the most succinct summary of Fjord’s motivations we’ve ever heard: “I’m pretty simple. These days I’ve spent with you are the most exciting of my life.”

What Fjord wanted in that moment was for the M9 to tell him, “We have ideas, we’ve got your back, we’ll stand with you (and against HER) like family should, and you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” But Caleb couldn’t imagine saying (or hearing) those words. Just imagine for a second if those words had occurred to him or Astrid or Eodwulf sixteen years before our story began.

Instead, Caleb gives Fjord the bleak truth about Avantika: “She’s not going to let go of you. You are a key that she needs.” Sound familiar? Stir up any memories of Caleb’s backstory? Or (even more chillingly) of the way Caleb himself usually views (or at least tries to view) the people he works with?

So Fjord slept with Avantika. Not, as Caleb assumed, because it was “no big deal” in the service of his master plan, but because Caleb implied that he had a responsibility to do so, and Fjord takes his family’s opinions and his responsibilities to them more seriously than anything else. And in episode 43, “In Hot Water,” even Caleb himself figures that out (“He has compromised himself with this woman, for us, for himself, for all of our safety. It is going to be difficult for him”). What made him realize his mistake? Probably the one-on-one conversation he had with Fjord in episode 41, “A Pirate’s Life for Me.”

I think this conversation is crucial to their relationship. I might go so far as to say that it changes Caleb’s view of Fjord almost as radically as the Iron Shepherds arc changed Fjord’s view of Caleb. Here Caleb is, thinking of Fjord as a levelheaded, competent leader, a friendly guy...but cagey and secretive, potentially dangerous, possibly manipulating them all in the name of his mysterious master plan. And then Fjord pulls Caleb aside and just lays it all out.

“I had to admit I found myself a bit surprised. My initial impression of you was someone a bit timid and maybe reserved; meek even. Your tone, your opinion of what to do with Avantika in order to make sure that we’re okay, it seemed very…calculated. Very…risky. Do you mind me asking if you’ve...have you ever sacrificed anything in order to achieve a greater goal? Because I feel like I am swimming in the deep end and I don’t quite know what I’m doing.”

This little monologue turned Caleb’s entire impression of Fjord and his arc on its head. I think this is when he realized that Fjord isn’t ruthlessly pursuing some deep, dark, secret goal like Caleb himself. Instead, he’s been thrust unwillingly into a situation where he’s suddenly being forced to make the kinds of harrowing decisions that Caleb’s long since conditioned himself to make.

In stark contrast to his confident ultimatums in their previous conversation, Caleb is awkward and skittish, caught off-guard. He dodges Fjord’s question with irrelevant half-truths, but he knows perfectly well how astute it was. And suddenly, he’s not seeing Fjord as a current mirror image of himself, ruthless and calculating; he’s seeing Fjord as a mirror of himself as a child, innocent and uncertain, finding himself in a situation with no right or safe choices, where power and knowledge come with a heavy dose of manipulation and violence.

And who does Fjord come to, with praise for his strategic intellect and keen perception? Who does he trust to fix this fucked-up situation if necessary? Caleb. Because he senses, despite Caleb’s evasions, that he has been in this kind of situation before...and he assumes, in a moment of incredible irony, that this means Caleb is equipped to make the right choice:

Fjord: I think you know what I mean, but in case this thing gets out of hand, can I count on you to right the ship if need be?

Caleb: Keep the group safe?

Fjord: Of course.

Keep the group safe. That’s what Fjord has tasked both himself and Caleb with through the whole damn campaign, and Caleb finally gets it. That Fjord doesn’t want a powerful tool in his arsenal to achieve his own goals; he wants a back-up guardian for the flock of wayward children he’s taken under his wing. This is one of those rare moments (like “The Journey Home”) when Caleb’s brain fully switches from toolbox to family, and the proof is in the way the conversation ends: “I think that woman is going to try to kill you, I really do.”

Why does Caleb hesitate so long and “nervously twiddle” his bit of wire before conveying that message? Because it’s so out of character. Because his own agenda is to use Fjord as a buffer between Avantika and the rest of the group, and this warning directly contradicts that agenda. Because this isn’t an expression of concern about group cohesion or success.

It’s an expression of concern for Fjord.

And at the end of the following episode (episode 42, “A Hole in the Plan,” if we’re still keeping track), Caleb finally does what Fjord wanted all along. He produces a literal manifestation of the thing that Fjord has wanted the M9 to do metaphorically ever since they first encountered Avantika: “I cast Wall of Fire between her and us.” He sends the message, loud and clear, that Fjord will no longer be used as a tool for the protection of the group, because the entire family is worthy of protection. Family, not toolbox.

And Fjord reacts immediately. In episode 43, “In Hot Water,” his focus is on Caleb throughout the fight with Avantika’s crew: moving Caleb out of danger, reviving Caleb when he’s down, and panicking so much that he lets his accent slip because Caleb has done just what Fjord asked, he has kept the group safe, and Fjord, in turn, feels responsible for Caleb, who is part of the family as well.

...And all of this brings me to the most recent episode. To episode 44, which...doesn’t have a title yet. 😛 And to the infamous blood ritual.

Now, there were a million things going on with that ritual (and the spontaneous “pact” that followed). Plenty of people have already written about them more eloquently than I ever could. We had both Fjord and Caleb poking at and manipulating each other, testing each other’s boundaries, each trying to see how far the other would go. We had them acknowledging their shared fascination with power (in a darker echo of Fjord’s constant compliments for Caleb’s magic at the beginning of the campaign), and we had Fjord “7 wisdom” Tusktooth and Caleb “calculated risk” Widogast go into an ill-considered, self-destructive frenzy before Jester’s (and our) horrified eyes.

But to me, for all the common ground they discovered in that scene, for all the “blood brothers” hype of their gory handshake, the fundamental misunderstanding still remains. Caleb, despite all the recent progress he’s made toward understanding and even adopting Fjord’s “Mighty Nein=family” perspective, thinks that he’s finally discovered the real Fjord: reckless, ambitious, willing to trade favors with Caleb in order to pursue knowledge and power, placing the two of them on exactly the same page. He tries to lay this out for Fjord right before the bloodbath, admitting that he has goals of his own and asking if Fjord will be there to help him accomplish them.

And Fjord’s response? “Always.”

It’s a subtle moment. I’m pretty sure Caleb didn’t pick up on it. He still viewed the situation as a trade, and when Fjord ended the ritual prematurely, when he took Caleb’s hand and said, “We understand each other,” Caleb thought they were sealing a pact that was contingent on his willingness to bleed.

In Fjord’s mind? It was the opposite.

This was never about demanding a trade from Caleb (or vice versa). They were both bleeding on that altar. The question they both kept asking each other (“Aren’t you curious?”) wasn’t about pressuring each other into an unwanted situation; it was about acknowledging their shared curiosity and acting on it. It wasn’t Caleb working toward Fjord’s goals so that Fjord will eventually work toward Caleb’s; it was about the two of them working together, in every situation, to accomplish the goals of the group (even when that means backing off from their own ambitions when the risk becomes too great, as demonstrated by the fact that he ended that ritual when the cost became too high).

Fjord didn’t promise to work toward Caleb’s goals if Caleb worked toward his. He promised to work toward Caleb’s goals, full-stop. Always. Always. He’s been working for Caleb--and the rest of the Mighty Nein--since they first became a unit. Barring a blatant betrayal of the group (like he feared during Scrollgate), he’s never had any intention of doing anything else, or any conditions that apply to that assistance. Family, not toolbox.

Caleb has spent the entire campaign trying to bargain for something that has always been offered to him freely. Fjord told him “You’re safe here” before the M9 even hit the road together, and he told him “Always” before a single drop of blood was spilled.

#critical role #c2e44 #and a million other episodes #caleb widogast #fjord #widofjord #caleb #don't speak to me don't even look at me #don't ask me how many hours this took #i started typing and physically could not stop #and before anyone calls me on it: this post is very much from fjord's perspective #i glossed over various times when fjord actually has lied to the group or withheld information from them #as well as times when caleb has demonstrated genuine selflessness outside of fjord's influence #not to mention that caleb's own quest IS ALL ABOUT FAMILY TOO (just a different family...)#but the reason for this is that caleb is my favorite character #and this is practically a caleb blog at times #and i delve deep into his character and motivations practically every week #but (for the majority of this campaign) fjord has been the character i liked/understood/connected with the LEAST #and i've only recently had my eyes opened to how fucking amazing and fascinating he is #and me devoting a giant post to fjord analysis and celebration (and acknowledging the flaws in caleb's worldview) was looong overdue #...plus i ship the hell out of this mess but that is neither here nor there

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ghost-nabbers-imagines · 6 years ago

Text

Best Friends: Sal x reader

*your pov*

I sat on the bed in in cross cross position listening to my best friend rant about being different. We were hanging out at his apartment as we usually did listening to music. "I mean it's bad enough I have to deal with that shit at school do they really need to follow me home and taunt me?" He complained. I honestly hated the way Sal was treated. I mean he was a really great guy but all because of a few scars he was a freak? "I know muffin they're just stupid high school assholes who's lives aren't going anywhere once we graduate." I said trying to comfort him. Muffin had been the nickname I had given him a couple weeks after we met and it just stuck. He insisted that I was the only one allowed to call him that. He even dated a girl very briefly who tried it and they got into a huge fight. They ended up breaking up less than a week later but I was never sure if that was related to the nickname or not. "Not you though. You'll be helping so many people! Doing your dream job by day and chilling in your dream house by night. With some gorgeous hottie no doubt." I boasted about him. He turned towards me smirking his blue eye slightly sparkling from behind his mask. Despite what some girls seemed to think he really was good looking. His bright blue eyes complimented his matching hair, and pink lips that curled into the cutest smile. Although not many get to see that. And no one gets to see it often. I’ve only had the privilege once. Not to mention his personality. He was smart but not in the know it all way, kind and thoughtful, but also brave and hilarious. He really didn't deserve all the pain these people caused. "Thanks (nickname). I'll never be alone with you around will I?" He asked with a small chuckle. "Nope your stuck with me muffin!" I beamed. He rolled his eyes and came over so he was sitting in front of me. He got really close to me so we were face to face. His eyes deadly serious. "Pinky promise?" He whispered holding out his pinky. I smiled at him and linked my pinky with his. "Pinky promise." I repeated. We unlinked our pinky's and laid back on his bed. After a couple seconds he sighed again. "Oh know what the worst part was?" He asked turning to his side facing me. "What's that?" I asked doing the same. "They weren't wrong about the teasing this time. One of Travis’s friends was mocking the fact that I’m 18 and still a virgin. I mean Not that I really care but he’s right no one will ever want to have sex with me when my face is this fucked up. It’d be a huge turn off. I’ll be a virgin forever, how pathetic is that!?" He groaned. I couldn't help the small blush that appeared on my face at his comment. I squeezed his hand trying to comfort him. "It's not pathetic. I mean I'm still a virgin. And so is Travis." I told him a little embarrassed at the confession. "Yeah but you could sleep with anyone if you wanted. And Travis is probably saving himself for marriage. Not to mention the fact he’s secretly gay." He replied throwing his hands over his covered face. A soft knock at the door made us both jump. "Sorry to scare you both but Sal lovely will (y/n) be joining us for dinner?" Sal’s step mom Lisa asked. Sal looked towards me expecting an answer. "Yes please Lisa. If I'm not imposing." I answered smiling. Lisa was like a second mom to me, always being there for advice and a shoulder to cry on. "Of course sweetie. You're welcome anytime. Dinner will be ready in five minutes." She said pulling the door shut and retreating down the hallway. "You're like a part of this family you know." Sal said placing his hand on mine. I smiled at his sweetness. Sal losened the bottom part of his mask. He lifted it up a small bit and leaned forward placing a soft gentle kiss on my cheek before getting up and making his way to the door holding it open for me. I jumped up and we made our way down to the table.

~~~~~~~~~time skip~~~~~~~~~

Sal and I reentered his room after another wonderful meal. "Lisa sure is a great cook muffin." I laughed flopping myself onto his bed again. I was so beyond full I didn't wanna move. I heard Sal let out a small chuckle at my actions. He watched me for a few minutes before going over to the closet. He pulled out a shoe box and joined me on the bed. I sat up looking at him confused. "I wanted to show you this." He said nervously scratching the back of his neck. He pushed the shoebox in front of me signaling for me to take it. I curiously took the lid off wondering what my best friend could be up to. The first thing I saw in the box was a small photo album. I picked it up flipping through it. It held every picture we had ever taken starting with the first one we took in front of Addison on his first week here, and ending with the Polaroid Ash had taken of me sitting on Sal’s lap both of us covered in paint as Larry tried to teach us both. The next thing I pulled out was a blue bow tie. I recognized it from our first school dance. I was so excited when this guy asked me. I bought a new dress, curled my hair, got a pair of heels, and did my makeup. Then he ended up changing his mind and going with a much prettier cheerleader. I was so heart broken when I got the text that I didn’t even want to go, but Sal didn't let me stay home and sulk. He showed up all dressed up with a corsage and everything. The next thing in the box was a little box full of movie tickets and rental recipts. One from every movie we'd been too or rented.The next thing was a busted pair of glasses. A year ago I was dating this guy named Nick, in the beginning we were very happy and in love. But he started cheating on me with one of my very best friends. When I found out I couldn't get out of bed I was so crushed. I was shocked to find out the next day Sal and Larry went and beat the shit out of the guy. I mean Sal wasn’t one for fighting so he got a bit beaten up but nevertheless he kicked his ass for hurting me. The next thing was the first best friend bracelet I made him that had broken. And the very last thing was a folded up piece of paper. I carefully unfolded recognizing my own handwriting. It was this project I made for my literature class next year. I had to write about something I found beautiful and describe it using an assortment of adjectives, so I wrote about Sal’s face. I remember the look in his eyes when he read it. He actually started to cry. I thought I had thrown it out. He had kept all of this stuff but why? "I thought I threw this away." I said showing him the paper. “You did but I took it out of your trash that night. I know it’s a little weird but after you showed it to me there was no way I was letting it get thrown away. No ones ever described my face like that. I just had to keep it.” He explained. He pulled his arm around my shoulders bringing me closer. “I can’t believe you kept it all.” I whispered. "You're my best friend. Of course I did." He chuckled.

He moved the box up to his dresser before laying on the bed with his head on my lap. I brought my hand up to his hair softly taking out his hair ties and setting them aside. Running my hands through his electric blue locks I smiled down at my best friend. “Feeling any better?” I asked. "I just don't get it. I know I’ve got a fucked up face but I’m a nice guy. I've always been polite to everyone and romantic to my girlfriends. Well the one I've actually dated. You've known me for years am I just that unloveable? Am I that much of a freak?" "Sal no! There's noting wrong with you! You are not even close to a fuck up!" I tried to assure him. It was no use, he still looked so upset. "Come on (Y/n) clearly I’m just a monster like Travis says since no one wants me." He sighed sitting up and staring at his floor. Seeing him like this hurt me. I had to do something there was no way I was just gonna seat here and let him convince himself he's fucked up. So I mustered up all my courage getting off the bed and standing in front of him. "If it'll make you feel better I'll sleep with you." I suggested. Sal immediately looked up towards me wide eyed. He was probably horrified at the idea. "I-I'm sorry that was stupid. Of course you don't wanna sleep with me." I sighed sitting next to him. He immediately shook his head and pulled himself closer to me. "No no that's not it (Y/n)! I do I mean hell I've liked you for a long time. I just... don't want you to only do it for that reason. You should lose your virginity to someone you love. Someone who’s not a monster." He chuckled a blush covering his ears. "I've liked you for a long time too muffin. And I would be honored to lose it to you. You’re definitely not a monster." I explained while I looked up into his bright blue eyes that were staring at me. He leaned closer to my face moving some of my (y/h/c) hair out of my face. I suddenly lost the ability to breathe. He was so close to my face. "(Y-Y/n) can I kiss you?" He asked. I nodded with a blush. “If you take this off.” I answered gently touching his mask. He let out a shaky breath removing the mask revealing his scarred up face. I reached my hand up tracing several scars. “You’re so beautiful muffin.” I giggled making him passionately press his lips against mine. I kissed him back loving the feeling of his soft sort of chapped lips. Our lips moved in sync and his hands moved to my waist as my arms wrapped around his neck. His tongue licked at my bottom lip asking for entrance. I allowed him and soon we were having a pretty heated makeout session. He lightly pushed me back so he was laying on top of me.

~~~~~~~sexy time skip~~~~~~~~

Sal laid down next to me panting and exhausted. He disposed of the condom in a trash bin near by. "Wow." He panted wrapping his arms around me pulling me closer. "Yeah wow." I giggled. His fingers lightly traced my skin sending shivers down my spine. “I guess I owe Larry a condom.” Sal chuckled. “Guess so. Not like he was gonna use it. Except to maybe make water balloons with.” I teased. Sal chuckled holding me closer. I reach my hands up holding his face in my palms. The door clicking open caused us to shoot up. Sal immediately pulled the blanket up so it was covering my exposed body. "Hey Sal dude, mom wants to know if (y/n)-" Larry started to say before he saw us. "Larry it's um- it’s- not what it looks like.” Sal stuttered hoping his step brother and best friend wouldn't bust us. "I see you finally got the balls to go after (y/n). And you actually fucked her I’m proud man.” he chuckled. Sal looked at me then back to his brother his cheeks slightly redder. "Uh yeah I guess I did." He smiled. "So are you guys like a thing now or what?" Larry asked closing the door. Sal and I shared a look smiling. "Will you be mine?" He asked goofily making Larry roll his eyes and fake a gagging sound. "Of course muffin!” I giggled kissing him. "Ok gross. Tone it down before I puke. Mom wants to know if (Y/n) is staying over by the way." He laughed sitting down on his own bed. Sal got up and handed me my bra and panties. I slipped them on under the blanket. He reached into his dresser pulling out my favorite hoodie of his and a pair of sweatpants handing them to me before getting himself dressed. When we were both done we crawled back into bed cuddling. Sal laid on his back his arms around me as I laid on my side curled up against his chest "I've loved you for a long time (y/n)." He whispered. "I love you too muffin." I giggled into his chest. "Sal, Larry, (y/n)! I made dessert!" Lisa called out though the walkie. "I suppose we should go tell her we're dating." Sal chuckled grabbing his mask and buckling it into place leaving his hair down. "Yeah might as well tell her the good news." I replied getting out of bed. “She’ll be fuckin stoked man. She loves (Y/n) like a daughter already.” Larry pointed out making me smile. Sal got up putting his arm around my shoulders. Larry got up too putting an arm around Sal’s shoulders. “This is fuckin awesome. Now I have a brother and a sister! Wel in law someday I guess.” He chuckled. “Hell yeah Johnson!” I agreed making Sal give me a supportive squeeze. The three of us made our way up to Lisa and Henry’s apartment. “Oh hey Sal! Tomorrow if they give you shit about not being a virgin you can tell em to go fuck themselves!” I said nudging my boyfriend. “Travis can’t say shit he’s a fuckin virgin too.” Larry scoffed. “Oh yeah in speaking of that. I owe you a condom Larry Face.” Sal chuckled. “You used one of my condoms?! Dude it was my last one.” Larry laughed. “Don’t worry Lar bear you can’t get your left hand pregnant.” I giggled. Sal let out a laugh and Larry pretended to be offended. “I fucking love you.” Sal chuckled hugging me. “Jokes on both of you. It was expired.” Larry chuckled making his way into the kitchen first. Both Sal and I to look at each other worriedly. “He was kidding right?” I asked hopefully. “I’ll find out.” Sal groaned as we entered the kitchen.

Lisa turned around handing us each a bowl of ice cream covered brownie. “Thanks Lisa.” Sal and I both said taking a seat at the table. “Fuck you’re not gonna become one of those couples that only talks in we terms are you?” Larry asked. “We love the winter.” I mocked in a fake basic bitch accent like the girls Larry was referring to. “We never use deodorant.” Sal said in the same voice making both Larry and I laugh. “Wait a couple? Sal love did you ask her out?” Lisa asked excitedly. “Did a lot more than fuckin ask.” Larry chuckled. “Yes Lisa I did. I finally took your advice.” Sal said kicking Larry under the table. Lisa screamed excitedly coming over and wrapping her arms around us. “Oh yay! I love you both I’m so happy you’re finally happy together!” She cheered. “Me too Lisa.” I giggled grabbing Sal’s hand.

#larry johnson sally face #sal fisher x reader #sally face x reader #sally face imagines #sal fisher #sally face #sal fisher sally face #indie games

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cards-onthetable · 5 years ago

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Surrender

(Chapter one) (Chapter two) (Chapter three) (Chapter four) (Chapter five)

A/N: A minor time jump here as we check in with our favorite couple following Eddie’s transfer out of the 29th precinct. Also, language warning applies, but it’s fairly minor. Enjoy!

Chapter six.

“Hey Janko, you want to hit up Rudy’s with us? It’s wing night.”

Eddie wrestles her head out the neck of her black t-shirt before she answers, “No, sorry Ashley, I’m busy tonight.”

“You’re busy every night,” someone else -- sounds like Daniela Holt -- calls from the adjacent bay of lockers. “Can’t you do something fun just once?”

“Girl, you’ve been talking up your darts game for a month but we ain’t ever seen you play.”

“I just -- can’t be that flexible at the last minute,” Eddie offers apologetically. “But next week? If I plan ahead I can make it happen.”

“Travis and I are on midnights next week,” Ashley complains.

“Well hey, another time. We’ll make it work,” Eddie promises. She’s finished packing up and she slings her bag over her shoulder. “Have fun tonight. But not too much fun.”

The women of the 8th precinct keep teasing as Eddie heads down the hall and out of earshot. She knows they aren’t being mean -- it took them a little time to get comfortable around her, knowing her connection to the PC but now, nearly two months into her new assignment, they’ve eased into a friendly camaraderie like Eddie hasn’t experienced since her early days off probation at the 12th.

She wonders if the adjustment would’ve been even quicker if she didn’t have to turn down most of their invitations for a drink or a bite to eat after work. But after two nights getting home late last month, even though she texted Jamie to let him know her plans, he made it clear that things like fun and friendship with her new coworkers are unacceptable.

It turns out a lot of things are unacceptable for a Reagan bride.

Eddie has tried to mostly ignore Jamie’s undercutting remarks, petty shit ranging from negative comments about the 8th Precinct’s leadership to tired warnings about her vulnerability as a Reagan in the NYPD. She knows she hurt him by insisting on a new precinct, and while she refuses to apologize -- it was the right move, and she’s honestly not sure why she waited so long to make it -- she is trying to be considerate of Jamie’s feelings in the aftermath.

Their mailbox in the lobby is already empty, so she knows Jamie has beat her home as she climbs to their fourth floor walkup. The exertion is just enough to let her ignore the shift in mood after a good day at work, to quell the slight dread she feels at the prospect of another frosty, impersonal evening with her husband.

“Hello?” she calls out as cheerfully as she can manage when she keys her way inside.

“Eddie?”

“Hey you.” Pausing in the entryway, she reaches down to unzip her boots. When she straightens up once more Jamie has rounded the corner and he peers down at her with an unreadable expression.

“How was your day, babe?” Eddie asks. Then, as an irritated twitch draws his eyebrows together, “Something wrong?”

“I thought you’d be home by four.”

“It’s--” she glances at her watch “--twenty after.”

“I know.”

She frowns at him, a silent question as she moves further into the apartment.

“You could’ve let me know, Eddie.”

“I’m… sorry?” she says. “I was finishing up a report, and then chatting for a minute. When am I ever home right at four?”

“You’re not usually this late.”

“Late for what?” Her eyes widen as she genuinely wonders. “Did we have plans tonight?”

“I didn’t realize we needed to have plans for you to let me know when you’re running later than normal.”

“What? I’m -- I’m hardly late! Ten, fifteen minutes, it’s not a big deal.”

“Excuse me for wanting to spend time with my wife,” he snaps.

Eddie can’t hold in the bitter chuckle that escapes from her throat. “You didn’t want to spend time with me yesterday, when I asked if you wanted to go to the gym with me. Or the day before, when you shut yourself in the bedroom the second you got home and then yelled at me when I asked what was wrong--”

“I didn’t yell at you.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, right. You just said--” she drops to a low impression of Jamie “--Go away, Eddie, I’m not in the mood, Eddie, I’m busy, Eddie…”

“Well I was--”

“You were watching tennis. When the fuck did you start watching tennis? You say you don’t want me going out after work so we can spend time together, but this is the longest we’ve both been awake in the same room in three weeks.”

Jamie shakes his head like her point is irrelevant. “Before you transferred, we had all the time we wanted. We got to be together at work all day, we had a nice routine. And now that’s all out of sync. I don’t know why you had to go and fuck everything up.”

“So you blame me?” she verifies.

“You’re the one who went over my head and insisted on a transfer!” he cries. “You violated chain of command.”

“I had to. You flat out told me you wouldn’t approve the request.”

“Which I had the authority to do! Cops have to follow procedure. Procedure exists for a reason.” He emphasizes with the chopping motion of his rigid hand as he slowly spells it out. “And as my wife you owed me the courtesy of telling me before you made that decision on your own.”

“And that’s exactly why I went straight to the lieutenant,” Eddie reminds him, defiant hands perched on her hips. “You were trying to be both my boss and my husband all the time. It wasn’t working for me, Jamie, and don’t pretend you would’ve listened to anything I had to say. I wanted to discuss it and you wrote me off. We had to separate work and home.”

“It seemed like it was working just fine from my end! It was working a hell of a lot better than this, anyway.”

Eddie laughs ruefully. “That’s on you then, because I’m much happier now that I’m on my own at the 8th.”

“Oh, so you’re happier being away from me most of the time?”

“Yes! At work, yes. You were micromanaging me and it’s like you still don’t even realize it. I need to be in control of my own career, my own relationships. I need to have a part of my life that’s separate from you, separate from your family, something that’s only mine. I haven’t had that since we got engaged. So yeah, I’m happier at work since I transferred, and my only regret is that I didn’t do it sooner. But at home…”

Eddie doesn’t miss the angry clench of the muscle there at the corner of Jamie’s jaw. “Well. I’m sorry that my presence is such a problem for you.”

“Jamie--” she sighs. “You know what I’m saying, don’t twist my words. We weren’t doing well being in the same house, and it’s both of our faults. You couldn’t move past your bias with me, I couldn’t deal with you hanging over my head. It wasn’t healthy for our marriage. But that issue is taken care of now so we need to figure out why else this isn’t working.”

“I’ll tell you why it’s not working. You’re off in lower Manhattan putting your job and your new friends ahead of our family. Everything you do is reckless. Chasing your shield, staying late at work — transferring in the first place — it’s not all about you! Everything can’t revolve around you and what you want!”

“What’s reckless? Me having friends who you didn’t vet first?”

“Yes!”

“Well good thing I can hardly call them friends since you don’t want me so much as hitting happy hour with them after tour.”

“Good! You shouldn’t let them get close to you. You’ve got to keep your guard up. Your nameplate says Janko but they know who you are. They’ll try to use you Eddie, or worse. We Reagans have a target on our back and you know it.”

“The only person putting a target on my back is you.”

“I — no — I just need you to understand what it means to be a Reagan in this department. And act like it for once.”

“Does it mean letting you dictate every single aspect of my life? Because that’s not what I signed up for. We’re supposed to be an equal partnership. I’m in a great new precinct, I’ll get my gold shield any day now, and I’ve got you waiting for me at home every night. It’s everything I want! I’ve finally found my balance, Jamie. Now we need to find yours.”

“I was perfectly balanced at the 29th Precinct with my wife on my roll sheet,” he tells her.

“That’s not an option. But there are other things we could do. I want to figure something out with you, Jamie. We’ll find a way to make everything work for both of us.”

“And how do you propose we do that?”

Eddie takes a deep breath. “Look. I know you said no to this back when I first transferred. But I really think it’s time to consider therapy.”

“Couples therapy?” He shouts, making Eddie flinch. “That’s off the table!”

“Why?” Eddie demands. “We can’t come up with any solutions on our own! All we do lately is ignore each other and when we do talk, it’s just this same damn fight over and over.”

“Because you transferred!”

“Because you gave me no choice! I think you know I’m right about us working together, and you were wrong, and you don’t know how to deal with that like an adult. So it’s time to learn.”

“Our problems are our problems, Eddie, I don’t want some stranger telling us five easy steps to fix our marriage.”

“Then what’s your suggestion? Because we both know things are broken,” Eddie says, struggling to hold her voice steady as it threatens to break. “But I — I don’t know how we can fix it.”

“So you jump to therapy?”

“Yeah, because we need help—”

“If our marriage is too far gone for us to handle it ourselves,” Jamie says, “then maybe it’s too far gone to be handled at all.”

Eddie inhales sharply through her nose and she can’t disguise the alarm on her face as her mouth drops open. “What’s your solution then?”

He narrows his eyes, a look of contempt he’s never directed at her before, and it makes her stomach lurch.

“It’s obvious, Eddie. The only solution here is divorce.”

#jamie x eddie #jamko #surrender #uh oh #jamie said it #what we've all been thinking for all of season 9 #oh just me and @ontherockswithsalt have these thoughts?#well hey now you can too!

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princessamericachavez · 6 years ago

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About Fjord and Jester and how they are dealing with things.

Oh boy. Oh boy were we not prepared for this two post-captivity. I mean, I know we’d all guessed how they’d react, but I think there’s a couple things we certainly overlooked.

I mean, it’s hard to tell which of the two of them is taking things harder. All of us thought Jester would blame herself over Molly, being the cleric of the party, but we forgot just how deep Fjord’s sense of responsibility and protective instincts go. And we saw Jester’s denial coming, but I don’t think I expected for someone to see right through it so quickly. So here it goes:

Fjord blames himself, not only for Molly but for being taken in the first place. Fjord who works so hard to put on a serious front, to act like everything is under control, to keep an eye out for suspicious people and places, to protect himself and his friends from bad decisions... of course he blames himself for being surprised by their captors.

Honestly, though, the first thing that hit me with Fjord as soon as he was freed was how furious he looked, that quiet kind of anger that could see’d been simmering there for days. The problem is that their captors are gone now, and Fjord has nowhere to put that anger and frustration he’s feeling. The only person he has left to blame is himself, because that anger has to go somewhere and he’s not going to put it on his friends.

What I really liked as a development, though, was how vocal Fjord was about how he’s feeling at the moment. Remember Fjord is probably the one person in the party who’s been most closed off about his past and his motivations. He’s honest and forefront most of the time, but he keeps a lot to himself too. Last night, though, we saw him bringing up the subject to Beauregard and Caleb more than once. He kept repeating how sorry he was, and how he thought this was his fault, even going as far as to share some of his past experience and why this was hitting him so hard. He also spoke of his motivations, and how the whole thing made him put his goals in perspective and consider what he wants to do next.

This was a great step forward for Fjord, and it lead to some very nice moments where both Beauregard and Caleb —who are usually the less social and emotionally smart ones— comfort him. Ironically, Caleb recognizes in Fjord what he can’t in himself: that Fjord was a victim in the situation and shouldn’t blame himself. Beau helps him the same way she did Caleb, reassuring him and, if a little bluntly, making sure he doesn’t beat himself over it. Also, Caleb makes a point of telling Fjord more than once that they’ve learnt from what happened and won’t let it happen again. He says so repeatedly, and I think that’s important, that Caleb tries to reassure Fjord so that this won’t become an underlying fear.

And then, there’s Jester. Jester who tried her best to be playful with Nott and Beau and Caleb during the episode, but who was also a lot more quiet and sad than ever before. I mean, bless Travis’s RP skills for playing Fjord’s low-ass wisdom, but holy shit if it wasn’t super evident to me that Jester looked washed down after this. She tried to joke around about Fjord and her in captivity together, but you can see her face fall almost immediately. She comments on how bad their last watch went, she tries to joke about the sleeping manacles but then discards them with disgust, she is quiet. She is so quiet.

Of course, though, Jester’s biggest tell is her religious crisis when she asks the Traveller “but why didn’t you come?”. There’s a pain in her voice that’s heartbreaking. But here’s the thing: no one else has seen that side of her. The other moment we saw her break was when she thought the Traveler was upset that she was traveling with more people now. Both have been quiet and private moments, and Jester makes a point of keeping them this way, as if the others knowing she’s able to experience pain and fear will make them think less of her. In the Gentleman’s bar, when they are talking about drinking alcohol, she seems actually offended when they suggest she’s scared. “I’m not afraid of anything!” “Of course not,” Caleb says softly, “you’re fearless. Look at those biceps. You’ve got nothing to fear.” Again, Caleb does his best to reassure her for the future, which I think it’s a nice trend.

But oh boy okay the thing is: Fjord doesn’t confide in Jester about his guilt and how he feels responsible for this or his change of plans (he mentions it in the cells at some point when she’s around but isn’t generally bringing it up to her). He says at some point: “I failed you guys. I failed Jester. I failed Yasha.” And I think that guilt means he won’t really be able to open up for a while, because he won’t want to put that kind of burden on her. Jester hasn’t brought up her fears and sadness up either. She keeps it quietly to herself (except when they are all visiting Molly) but in front of him, just like with the others, she puts up a front: she jokes about eye contact during their captivity, she pokes his stomach looking for the eye gem, she goofs around in their cart and in the gentleman’s lair.

Jester and Fjord are both great liars, and they both have reasons to be blind to the other’s emotional state (Jester idolizes Fjord, Fjord has low freaking wisdom).

Jester and Fjord —as stated by Laura and Travis in Talks— trust each other the most out of the whole party, so the fact that they are not being entirely open with each other certainly speaks about their emotional sate.

Obviously, though, the best representation of this broken dynamic is Fjord’s comments in the Gentleman’s lair. After speaking of his own fear and doubts, he describes Jester as cheerful and fearless. He talks about being in awe of her endurance during the whole ordeal, he says he is inspired by her cheerfulness (probably thinks he should be able to be okay too, even when he’s not, and makes it yet another thing to beat himself over).

But Caleb —bless him this episode he was the emotional mvp— points out what is obvious as a watcher: It’s all an act. She’s not alright, she’s just good at pretending. “Talent does not equal happiness.” That is so important, and I’m so glad he said it out loud in front of the others (I have a feeling Caleb’s known this about Jester for a long time now, which is why he’s always so soft to her, took her shopping for pastries and smut books, asks her about herself, danced with her, invited her to his little bubble hut spell. He makes a point of being gentle with her, even when she pretends to be alright). I’m glad he said it, though, because both Fjord and (to a lesser extent) Beau are more easily fooled by her cheerful displays.

I’m very interested on where this will go to in the future. Considering Jester still needs to deal with her new doubts about The Traveler and Fjord seems to have certain changes in mind for his goals, they both have a lot to explore. I hope that last conversation from last night will push them forward to opening up to each other about the horrible experience they went through. Worth noting, too, is how they called after Yasha in sync before she left. The three of them went through so much together, that hopefully they will acknowledge it —at least to each other— instead of burying it deep inside again.

#fjord #jester lavorre #caleb widogast #beauregard #long post #critical role #cr spoilers #cr meta #meta #sofia's nonsense #fjorester #to a lesser degree this time

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psychospeak-blog · 7 years ago

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Breaking Point (Part 3)

PART 1 // PART 2

The anticipation builds.... I got responses saying you all were cool breaking this up into 4 parts, so here we go.... No smut in this one, but some sexual talk, and swearing.

7 days was really an incredibly long time, when you thought about it.

A pass through each and every single day of the week. A quarter of a month, really.

But days didn't really exist like that for you anymore. Your life was now broken up into game days, practice days, and off days, with travel slammed in there, too.

Everyone else seemed to love the off days, because it was a chance to explore wherever you happened to be.

You had grown to dread them, because it seemed to take a ridiculous amount of planning just to orchestrate how organically happen across each other. The plane rides kind of sucked, too. Because you were basically so close but couldn't talk on person, instead texting through most of the flight. And, because you were seated up front with the rest of the media, you knew that he could so very easily keep his eye on you to see your reaction to every message (and you'd caught him doing so a couple of times, honestly). But you couldn't very well just crane your neck backwards the whole time without looking painfully obvious. Or insane. Or both.

Staying apart and keeping things on the down low was getting pretty tough too. For instance, the one time he almost slipped and called you 'babe' during an interview, someone playing it off like a cough and trying to regain his words and thoughts while you had to stand there trying not to laugh at his stumble.

At this point, you were pretty sure you'd visited pretty much every hidden nook and cranny in all of the arenas you'd visited in the past week. Nothing like the closet, but he's managed to smuggle you away for quick, often chaste kisses, sometimes a hand snuck onto your hip. There also have been a time where he'd cupped the side of your breast every so slightly, like it was just super casual as he was kissing you, and you couldn't believe how sensitive that area of you was, even through your bra and shirt. Every other guy you were with had just gone straight for the nipple like a bullseye, but this felt different - almost sensual rather than sexual.

That's not to say the sexual tension wasn't there. Nope, that phone call which had been meant to take the edge off, kind of only fueled things further. A heavy make-out session behind a restaurant a group of you had been at when the two of you had just happened to get up to go to the bathroom at the same time had you grinding unabashedly all over his thigh, and you were pretty sure you were almost about to cum just like that, fully dressed, until there was a crash from the alley behind you and you'd both realized you'd been getting way to into it. You'd reluctantly both gone back to the table, him first followed by you, and the asshole just kept catching your gaze as he sipped his soup. And, like, you didn't even think soup could be sexy, but the way his tongue just kept darting out to clean his spoon, or the way he just held his spoonful there, steam rising off it as he blew on it gently to cool it off, his eyes twinkling the entire time? Yeah, the next night you called him, already in the middle of touching yourself, desperate to hear his voice. You didn't even bother to listen to his greeting, just letting out noises that made no mistake what you were doing.

Thankfully he didn't seem to mind one bit.

And there were pictures, too. Oh, there were pictures. You'd made sure to point out to him that it was really unfair that he'd gotten to see you practically naked, and you'd barely seen any of him. But he just made certain to point out that he hadn't, not really, that he'd gotten to feel your tits but not see them. So guess who got a snap of that?

You were rewarded with a dick pic. Which was, honestly, usually not something that was straight-up hot to you, but you really needed evidence to help fill out your fantasies, you know?

And, boy, were they filled out.

Let's just say that you were truly relieved that he was not on the phone with you when you say the picture (or even in person because...yeah, it was a lot) because you were pretty sure that your jaw just like dropped open and you let out a strangled little noise. Like, even if there was some strange angle in play or a trick of the lighting or his hand wasn't as big as you thought, throwing the whole scale off, it was still a lot. And you'd anticipated this, on what you'd already seen and felt, but you still weren't expecting him to be packing quite such a monster. Like, shouldn't he warn you ahead of time or something? It made you equal parts nervous and exhilarated.

And, as the days moved on, rather than feel more and more relieved that you were getting closer to finally getting to, well, do it, you found yourself getting more and more and more apprehensive. Because it was somehow just occurring to you that you had a date to sleep with a professional athlete.

And somehow this was way more overwhelming than the fact that you were dating Nolan Patrick.

However, these worries were quickly overshadowed by the incident.

When Nolan pulled you aside one day after a practice and he looked crazy nervous and almost ashamed and he just kept saying he was really, really sorry, but...and your heart started pounded with dread, and then he just finished it by saying that some of the guys may have accidentally (he stressed this part) seen your tits. And you just laughed and were slightly embarrassed but not completely mortified, because you knew better than include your face in nudes, for Christ's sake. Honestly, you were just more curious WHY he was looking at them after practice, and he got so red, dropping his head like he'd actually been caught with his head in the proverbial cookie jar.

And then fucking TK happened. First he made some comment one day promising he'd keep his interview short so you could get to Nolan, grinning at you the entire time. You thought he was just teasing you, thinking you had a little crush. Or maybe just trying to get you to blush.

But then you were asking him about the goal he'd scored in the last game of the road trip, how it felt to finish things off with a win and go home on a three-game point streak. And he, I kid you not, looked you dead in the eye and said it felt "downright titillating."

So now you were on the plane, this moment running over and over through your head. After take-off, Nolan had texted you, suggesting that you get some sleep because you wouldn't be getting much tonight, which really didn't help, quite honestly. Not to mention, he'd straight-up insisted you spend the night, seeing no excuse for you not to even go home first, because you already had your suitcase. But you were trying to take advantage of the fact that you had a whole row of seats yourself, tugging your sweatshirt hood over your head, and pulling the blanket up to your chin, tucking your legs up and shutting your eyes. Your earbuds were in your ear, and you were trying to imagine Nolan curled up around you, which had been your go-to way to fall asleep lately, when you felt the movement as someone sat down in the seat next to you. You opened one eye to see Travis grinning down at you pulling your earbud out of your ear. "Can I help you with something?"

"I brought you a present," he said, pushing a bottled water into your hand, and you were just staring at him, trying to figure out what the hell was going on, "It's important to stay hydrated before vigorous activities, y'know."

You felt your face turn completely red in less than a second and you tried - really, really tried to come up with a quick retort to play it off. But the longer the time seemed to tick by, the more blank your brain became. "I don't know what you're talking about," you said dumbly.

"Well, you'd be the only one not to know," Travis grinned at you.

WHAT??!!! Your eyes darting frantically around the plane. "Everybody knows?!" You whisper-yelled, panic across your face and in your voice.

"Dude, chill," he said, resting a hand on your shoulder, which was really not reassuring at all, "I meant everyone mostly knows he's getting laid tonight. Not that it's you. Pretty sure that's just me. And him, obviously."

Your jaw kind of dropped open a little and then shut, "How did you....?"

"I recognized the bedspread. At first I thought he just hooked up with someone in the hotel, but I knew he was seeing someone. And he's like, always on his damn phone. He's obsessed. And he kept looking at you when you weren't looking with the goofy grin on his face. I put two and two together," He kind of smacked two fingers together, and then lazily looked you up and down, even though you were still covered in a blanket, "Nice rack, by the way."

It turned out you could turn even redder.

"Hey, I'm kidding, kid," he sort of grabbed your shoulder and pulled you over in an awkward side hug thing that sort of made it feel like he was your uncle or older cousin or something, "I didn't really look. I mean, not that much. Just a little."

And now you were looking around the plane, seeing if anyone was taking notice of the fact that he was sitting in totally the wrong section of the plane, with his arm around you, just spread out like he was totally comfortable.

You kind of slipped away out from under his arm, running a hand over your face and leaning forward. "You should probably go back to your seat," you said, and you didn't even care that your voice sounded mostly like a stern librarian. He just kind of laughed a little, "I'm not gonna tell anybody," he promised, "Though you really should, honestly. It's super cute." He looked over his shoulder and you could only assume he was looking at Nolan, but you weren't going to dare look back there yourself.

"Okay," you kept your lips pressed in a firm line, "Bye now." You even waggled your fingers in a wave.

He laughed again, moving to the edge of the seat, "Just one more thing," he said, holding up his finger, "Stay safe, yeah? Don't forget to use protection." You were really glad he moved into the aisle while you were still deciding whether to hit him or shove him, because you were quite sure that doing to the talent was probably against the terms of your contract.

And, yet, just less than 90 minutes later you found yourself sitting in the parking lot, preparing to go up and fuck some of said talent.

And you looked like you'd just gotten off a 6-hour flight. Because you had. You tried like hell to fix your hair in the visor mirror, because it was super staticy from sleeping in your hoodie. And skin looked super dry. Not to mention, you were pretty sure you were just wearing your most comfortable bra (which happened to be hella ugly and old) because you really didn't think about this when you'd gotten dressed for the flight. Comfortable yet classy had been your goal, and you'd only made sure to actually put your hoodie on over your blouse once you were actually on the flight.

You were trying to take an account of what was in your suitcase, thinking you could grab your make-up bag from the top, but wondering if you actually wanted to try and change your underwear in the car. You climbed back, unzipping the suitcase where it laid on your backseat, rummaging through it with your ass in the air, legs over the center console, when you heard a knock against your window and turned to look at the source of the noise, a blush instantly taking over your cheeks.

#nolan patrick #nolan patrick imagine #hockey imagines #hockey imagine #nhl imagine #nhl imagines

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dance10jennas · 7 years ago

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We've seen several epic friendships emerge from Adam Rippon's post-Olympics career—from Gus Kenworthy to Reese Witherspoon—but for skating fans and Dancing with the Stars viewers, his friendship with out dancer/choreographer Travis Wall is definitely one to watch.

"I connected with Travis during the Olympics, and it's been a dream of mine to work with him," Rippon told PRIDE. Back in March, he collaborated with Wall on a routine for Stars on Ice, the live, figure skating show currently on tour in cities across the country. "I think he's so creative and so brilliant. Getting to spend a few days with him, he's just such a light and so awesome. It was a dream come true."

And for Wall, the feeling is 100% mutual.

"He is so funny, he's so quick, he's so witty. He’s exactly like he is on television," he said. "Everything that came out of his mouth, I would literally fall to the floor laughing. We were just shooting the shit, it was two peas in a pod immediately. It was so much fun."

Being advocates for the LGBTQ community has been a common goal for the two of them this year. Wall recently collaborated with Broadway star Shoshana Bean on an emotional performance to her cover of "This Is Me,"the breakout hit and queer anthem from the soundtrack of The Greatest Showman.

Wall said he was doing his best to inspire and encourage people through the performance. "I try to hold that responsibility so dear to my heart and support as much as I can," he said. "There are so many things going on in the world right now. You turn on the news and it's always about gun violence or all these things that are happening in the presidency, and I just wanted to put something out there that someone could say 'God, that really touched me.'"

So it's no surprise that when Rippon took the Winter Olympics by storm earlier this year with his confidence and out-and-proud personality (including an electric performance set to gay club anthem "Let Me Think About It" by Ida Corr), Wall was one of his loudest supporters. "I was at home screaming, 'This is amazing!' I could not believe it, that this opportunity has happened and we're able to watch him do this at the Olympics."

For Stars on Ice, Wall repurposed Bean's cover of "This Is Me" and designed one of Rippon's solo performances around it. "I was trying to create this anthem with how many people that he’s inspired by just being 100% absolutely himself at all times," he said. "No-one's ever seen someone who's so comfortable in his skin on television before."

The emotional themes of the song played particularly well to Rippon's strengths as a performer. "I wanted to make him fly like a bird. He's the most beautiful dancer on ice, and it's just so crazy how he flies, the way his arms move, and truly just how pure he is."

Wall also enjoyed incorporating the jumps and spins of Rippon's figure skating into his choreography, something he’d always wanted to try. "I was so excited to play with that. For me he is the best at that, because his back is so flexible and he can cambré all the way back and make these crazy shapes."

Things hit a snag, however, when Rippon showed up for his first round of Stars on Ice rehearsals.

"About four other people were already dancing to The Greatest Showman soundtrack," Wall said. "He was trying to get the song approved and they were like 'Uh, do you have anything else?'"

It was Rippon (a choreographer in his own right) who decided to switch out the music with Adele's "Remedy," a song that matches all the elements of Wall's routine while striking the same themes of love and healing.

"It’s so funny how it laid out perfectly," Wall said. "Usually I’m not for one of these things. If I choreograph to a certain song, it has to be to that song."

Rippon added that he wasn't sure the song would work until he played it over a video of his routine. "It was sort of serendipity, where I was really in an Adele kick," he said. "It was a perfect fit, it worked so well. I texted Travis and told him, 'There was sort of an issue but it kind of worked itself out.' He was like, 'Whatever works. The show must go on!'"

But Rippon's skills on the ice are no guarantee for his upcoming turn on the all-athletes season of Dancing with the Stars, premiering on ABC on April 30. He is paired with DWTS veteran Jenna Johnson, who has worked with Wall on the FOX series So You Think You Can Dance.

"When you take the skates off, sometimes it's kind of scary, and I know because I've worked with a couple of them," Wall said. "Dancing with a partner, you have to play both sides. As energetic as you can be, you have to have a strong frame to be able to partner. And Jenna is a firecracker, she literally will be able to eat him alive."

After a few weeks of rehearsals, Rippon didn't seem worried. "I love Jenna so much, and I need somebody that could potentially eat me alive, because I can eat my partners alive as well! We're a perfect match and she's honestly been such a dream to work with. When I was telling Travis I was thinking about doing the show, he was like 'Oh my god, you’re going to want to dance with Jenna.' I'm so glad that it ended up happening."

"When I heard those two got each other I was like 'All right, it's on,'" Wall said. "I called him and was like 'I'm coming in for the finale, I'm choreographing that routine, we're making this happen.' They're already having so much fun together."

But while he fully expects them to earn the highest scores each week, it all comes down to the voting and whether they can convince the audience to support them.

"I have to be very honest. With Dancing with the Stars, the audience is between 34 and 58 years old. Middle-aged women in America. That's who calls in votes, that's their target audience, and I don't necessarily know if Adam's the guy they're going to be voting for."

On the other hand, Rippon could be a breath of fresh air for the show, bringing in a new, younger audience and appealing to viewers who have never voted for someone like him before.

"I have had so many people comment and tell me that they're going to watch and vote, which has been awesome," Rippon said. "I think that for me to get the votes, I just need to go in and try to do my best, but more than anything, have a good time. I think Jenna is so funny and we get along so well, that I hope our personalities come across in all of our dances and we can get people excited about the show."

As for winning over Middle America? "Of course! Why not! It's the perfect time. I don't think people would expect somebody like me to win over a lot of people at the Olympics, so Dancing with the Stars is just the next challenge."

As great a match as Rippon and Johnson are, though, it raises a question echoed by a few disappointed LGBTQ fans: will Dancing with the Stars ever give us a same-sex dancing pair?

"I would only go on to be a pro on Dancing with the Stars if I was in the first male-on-male couple to compete the entire season," Wall said. (He has appeared as a guest dancer and choreographer on the show, but never as a professional.) "I like dancing with men! In my dance company I dance with men all the time, and a lot of the shows that I do, I present a lot of gay storylines." Though he was quick to point out, "just because two men are dancing together, it doesn't have to be gay."

He said he's half-jokingly discussed the possibility to the show's producers, but hasn't lobbied hard for it—at least not yet.

"I should have really thought about it, because then I should have pitched it for me and Adam!" he laughed. "I'll just wait, and me and Gus [Kenworthy] can go on next year."

#Travis Wall #Adam Rippon #Jenna Johnson #Team Just Friends #dwts26 #articles

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fearingtwd · 7 years ago

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What Honesty Gets You (Chris Manawa Imagine)

prompt: I NEED A CHRIS IMAGINE. I'm coping with his death by reading :,) could i have one where y/n is pregnant and it's his and they're on the boat

requested: by anonymous word count: 7,484 warnings: language, suggestive themes

a/n: this will probably have a part two eventually also its slightly au bc they left the boat after like 6 episodes in the show and honestly? im here for boat shenanigans. they coulda stayed on the abigail the rest of the show bickering and i woulda eaten it up also i went a lil overboard with this imagine no boat pun intended lets fcking gooo

masterlist

It was never silent on the boat, not even at night when everybody was below deck sleeping. You could hear the sound of waves smacking against the side of the ship. It took a while for you to be able to find that noise mixed with the hum from the engine relaxing enough to fall asleep. Now, you’d have no problem drifting off. All you needed was darkness and the reassurance that Alicia was in the room with you. After everything that’s happened, you were admittedly too frightened to sleep in a room alone. Or maybe you were just scared of being alone in general.

How you ended up with the Clarks with your family out of the picture was quite a long story and you tried not to relive it since you didn’t know their fate. But having no blood relatives on board did make you feel lonely. Even though Madison treated you like a daughter, you weren’t naive enough to believe that if God forbid something happened where she could only save you or Alicia, she would ever choose saving you over her biological daughter.

So maybe that’s why you felt you had to get close with somebody.

You first approached him after he practically tossed his deceased mother overboard. What better way to bond with someone than to talk about how shitty the universe was treating you both? He wasn’t amused and had no desire to talk to you. You respectfully gave him the space he needed, but hell if he thought that would be the last time you tried to talk to him.

It took him a while to open up to you, and you never pushed him to. Every time he did, it was because he was ready. Even with the world ending all around you, every time you sat down and talked with him, you felt a sense of safety - like, perhaps if the infected started falling from the sky, he might be the first one to pull you inside and save your life. It was a heartwarming thought.

He sought you out one night, surprisingly in the mood to talk. You were wide awake because Alicia was spending the night on deck. He sat in your bunk and while he spoke about his life before the outbreak, you were staring at his lips. Thankfully, there was little to no light in the room because your cheeks were undoubtedly flushed. And you were so lost in your own thoughts about how handsome he looked in the dimness, you didn’t even realize he had stopped talking and noticed where your glance had fallen.

“Y/N?”

The sound of your name is what brought you back to the moment. “What?”

You couldn’t tell for sure, but he seemed to be fighting back a smirk. “Are you okay? You looked, um, a little out of it for a minute.”

Your heart skipped a few beats when you realized he must have noticed you staring - so you attempted to play it cool. “Yeah, sorry. Sometimes my mind just, you know, kind of wanders off.”

He gave a nod. “So what were you thinking about?”

Oh, you know, just thinking about kissing you all over your face and telling you that I think I’m totally falling for you. The usual.

“Dogs,” you blurted out.

“You were thinking about dogs?” He raised an eyebrow.

It was random but you had to go along with it. “Yeah, ‘cause the world as we know it has fallen off the deep end and people are dying and coming back to life, but I hope there’s somebody back on land taking care of all the dogs.”

He stifled a laugh. “Alright, fair enough. Wanna tell me what you were really thinking now?”

You felt the air was punched right out of your lungs. There was no doubt in your mind that his question visibly caught you off guard. Lying to get out of it again would be a waste of time. The room was quiet, save for the humming of the engine and the ocean waves.

Biting your lip, you decided to just be frank about how talking to him made you feel lately. You admitted that you enjoyed his company, more than anyone else on board. You told him you found him undeniably attractive. And finally, you confessed that you were thinking about kissing him.

His response, after a brief moment of utter shock, was to press his mouth against yours. You almost gasped as your lips connected. It didn’t remain the tender kiss it started as. It turned into sloppy, hungry kisses filled with pure desire. And you were okay with that because you suddenly felt as close with a person as you could ever be.

When you woke up, the room was bright and you were alone. Alone and topless. You shuffled out of the bed to find your bra, clipping it on as Alicia walked into the room.

“Sorry, didn’t realize you were getting dressed,” she muttered.

If only she knew the half of it.

You half-expected things with Chris to be completely awkward following your night of romance, but they weren’t. Around everybody else, you both acted like nothing happened. But when you were alone, you were holding hands and still enjoying each other’s company.

To be honest, you were getting sick of living on The Abigail. So when Madison said they should make a trip to land soon just to stock up on supplies, you nearly jumped for joy. You would have really jumped if you weren’t nauseous. You had been feeling lousy the past couple days and with all the sudden nausea, you were sure it was your body telling you to get off the boat for a while.

The next morning as Strand was docking the Abigail, you awoke feeling sick to your stomach again. When you got on deck, you unexpectedly ran to the side of the ship and vomited. Everyone stopped and stared, and Chris was the first to approach you carefully.

“You okay?” he asked in a soft voice.

Before you could respond, Strand interrupted, “You better not have gotten your upchuck on the side of my boat.”

You glanced down. You did, a little bit. But you weren’t going to say anything. You leaned your forehead against the banister, feeling a bit dizzy. It’s not like you had much in your stomach to puke up.

“Maybe you caught a stomach bug or something,” Chris suggested. You weren’t sure, but it certainly wasn’t unlikely. With everyone cramped in such a tight space, somebody was bound to get sick.

When you felt okay enough to walk back inside, Madison glanced at you. “You’re not coming with us. You need to get some rest.”

“I’m not just going to sit here and do nothing,” you countered, wanting to contribute. The last time you went to land, you were gathering belongings from a plane crash and that didn’t end up working out very well. You knew things could go wrong and you wanted to be there to help out in case they did.

Ofelia stood up from the couch. “Don’t worry, Y/N. I’ll be on board too.” She was still nursing her shoulder though it had begun to heal nicely, all things considered. There was no use in fighting, so you just nodded.

Alicia grinned, “Hey, if we can find clothes, I’ll pick you up something nice.”

“Yes, but clothes is not at the top of our list,” Madison said. “Food, medicine-”

“Feminine napkins,” Alicia added. “We’re almost out.”

Were you guys running low? You didn’t even notice. It had been a while since you last ransacked the bathroom looking for some.

Everybody was ready to head off. Strand, Ofelia, and yourself stayed behind.

In all the chaos of everybody figuring out who was going to wander off in which direction in what groups, you pulled Chris aside. “Be careful, okay?” you whispered.

He nodded, “Of course.”

“And don’t wander off this time,” you lectured.

Rolling his eyes, he replied, “Got it.”

You weren’t trying to patronize him and you realized that’s how it probably came across. You genuinely just wanted him to be safe. Before he could walk away, you grabbed a hold of his arm. He seemed taken aback. “I mean it. I want you to come back in one piece, okay?”

“Okay.”

Travis’ voice calling out for Chris startled you both. He said goodbye and shuffled off. As soon as he was out of your line of sight along with Alicia, Travis, Nick, Madison and Daniel you walked down to your shared room with Alicia to relax.

You had about two minutes to yourself before Strand burst into your room, yelling about how you did get puke on the boat. You told him to clean it with his ego and then locked yourself in the bathroom.

You stared at yourself in the mirror. The bags under your eyes weren’t as awful or prominent as you thought they’d be. Your mind wandered back to Alicia’s comment about feminine napkins earlier. Pads. You and Alicia had been on the same cycle, presumably since you spent so much time together after being locked in the military safe zone at the start. It had been well over a month since you last got your period - if you calculated the days correctly, that is. You stood in confusion, even pulled your pants down to check if you got your period without realizing it. You didn’t.

And then a surge of panic ran through your veins. You exited the bathroom on a mission. Ofelia was sitting by the swimming deck. She smiled as you took a seat beside her.

“You feeling any better?” she asked sweetly.

Less nauseous? Yes. Better? No.

“A little bit. If I ask you something, can you promise to keep as neutral a reaction as possible to maybe keep me from freaking out?” you asked, toying with a loose thread at the hem of your shirt. You felt like your throat was closing.

“Sure,” she answered wearily.

“So, I was just wondering, like, out of the blue this totally just popped into my head and I got curious. Um, have you ever been pregnant?” you rambled.

She only raised an eyebrow in response and said, “No. Why?”

A gust of wind blew your hair to the side and you tossed it out of your face, trying to figure out what to say next. Your palms were growing clammy. So you took a deep breath and let it out slowly before softly telling her, “My period is late.”

“You’re probably just stressed, Y/N. I mean, you know what has to happen in order to get pregnant, right?”

You groaned, thinking back on your time in health class. Oh, you definitely knew what had to happen. “Um, just forget this entire conversation, okay?”

Before she could say anything, you were jogging back inside to the sleeping quarters to find your backpack.

“What are you doing?”

You let out a yelp and spun around. Ofelia was standing in the doorway. You didn’t even realize she followed you.

“You scared the shit out of me,” you said, putting a hand to your heart.

She crossed her arms, eyes narrowed. “Sorry. Y/N, what are you doing?”

“Nothing,” you said casually, tossing the backpack over your shoulder. “Just going for a walk.” Except she wouldn’t let you past. “Do you want to, like, move please?”

“Tell me what you’re doing,” she demanded. There was a part of you that was flattered she seemed to care, maybe she was even worried about you. But the other part of you needed her to get out of your way.

Tightening your grip on the backpack strap, you let out a frustrated huff of air. “Not to be rude or anything, but it’s none of your business.”

“I think you made it my business when you started asking me about being pregnant - which by the way, how old do you think I am?”

You bit the inside of your cheek, ignoring that you might have offended her. Besides, it wasn’t that uncommon for young unmarried women to have kids or at least pregnancy scares. It was fairly modern.

“Look, I... I have to... I’m feeling better and if I leave now I can catch up with Alicia and-”

“Y/N, please. Just tell me the truth.”

Telling the truth was what got you into this situation, wasn’t it? You told Chris how you felt about him and now were nauseous, lethargic, your period was late, and in all honesty your boobs seemed to have swelled and gotten a little bigger. The last point wasn’t entirely negative though. But, you were already in this situation. And maybe being truthful this time around wouldn’t bite you in the ass. You didn’t regret your night with Chris. It was a little clumsy and awkward, but sweet too, and it felt so good. However, you wished you took some precaution.

“The truth is I think I’m having a baby and I’m fucking terrified.” You didn’t even recognize your voice. It sounded so distant, and your eyes were welling up with tears, about to burst out.

Great. Add overemotional to the list too.

Ofelia only tilted her head in confusion. “I don’t understand. How could you be having a baby?”

“I got a visit from the stork,” you said bitterly, wiping away a stray tear.

She didn’t seem to appreciate your sarcasm and let out a loud breath. There was a brief silence and you watched her expression change from frustration to utter shock.

“What?” you asked softly.

“Is it Nick?”

“Is what Nick?”

“The baby, is it Nick’s? You know, if there is one...”

You would have laughed if you weren’t entirely hellbent on getting off to the boat. You just wanted to find a pharmacy. Surely there would still be some pregnancy tests left.

“If you move out of the way I’ll tell you,” you prompted.

She didn’t seem interested in your game. “What are you going out there for?”

You shrugged your shoulders. Might as well keep up some of the honesty thing you had going. “A pregnancy test.”

“Just wait for everybody to get back. We’ll just find one tomorrow.”

“Uh, if I’m knocked up I’d like confirmation of that as soon as possible,” you uttered.

Ofelia sighed. “You don’t care what I say, you’re still going today, aren’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Well, I’m not letting you go alone. I’ll grab some water for the road. Meet me upstairs.”

Strand had no problem letting you both leave. He called it foolish, but he didn’t try to stop you. He also didn’t bother asking why.

It surprisingly didn’t take you very long to stumble across a pharmacy that was already broken into. Ofelia killed one infected that was inside and sauntered to the back of the store, kitchen knife and backpack in tow, while you rushed towards the aisle with the tests. The whole pharmacy was turned over top to bottom, but there was one box left with one pregnancy test inside. If you weren’t an anxious mess, you would have laughed at the coincidence.

You shoved it in your pack and turned to leave. A rotting corpse walking through the shattered doorway stopped you in your tracks. You weren’t sure you would ever get used to seeing dead people walking around. The whole store smelled like decomposing flesh already, but the stench from the infected galloping towards you made your stomach lurch. Ofelia quickly put down the infected and glanced over at you.

“You good?”

You were hunched over, trying to swallow the bile you felt rising in your throat. But you gave her a thumbs up anyway.

“We should really get going,” she urged.

You nodded and stood up properly and made slow strides to the door.

Your journey there was entirely silent. The walk back, on the other hand, was filled with Ofelia prying into your private life. She kept wanting to know if it was Nick’s baby and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t mildly offended that she didn’t even consider it could be Chris.

You made it back on board with a few hours of sunlight still left in the day. The others weren’t back yet, but you were sort of glad about that. You hoped they were okay, but you needed the time to yourself.

You locked yourself in the bathroom for the second time that day - except this time you had a pregnancy test on the counter. Since you didn’t have a timer, you sat on the floor and counted the seconds. And when you were done, you still stayed seated, too scared to even think about standing up.

A loud knocking on the door made you flinch.

“Y/N? Is everything, um, okay?”

It was Ofelia trying and failing to be discreet. You ignored her, pulling your legs close to your chest and lowering your head. You just wanted to go back in time and make sure that you wouldn’t end up in this situation. You were so scared. Being pregnant after the end of the world was basically a death sentence, wasn’t it?

She knocked again. “Come on, Y/N. Open up.”

Taking a deep breath, you got to your feet. Your hands were trembling. You had to force yourself to pick up the test and turn it over.

“Oh shit,” you whimpered as the red lines stared you right in the face.

You were indeed pregnant.

Your breath turned uneven and you couldn’t see anything through the waterfalls of tears that started running down your cheeks. This couldn’t be happening. This had to be a nightmare. There was no possible way you could carry a baby to full term and deliver it on a fucking boat with no doctor on board - never mind even raise it. You weren’t ready. Not even close. The thought of it being a false positive jumped into your mind, but you knew it wasn’t. You had all the symptoms. You couldn’t be that lucky.

Ofelia knocking on the bathroom door again brought you back into the moment. So you angrily threw the test into the trash and swung the door open, rushing past her before she could get a word out. You slammed your bedroom door and collapsed into your bed, letting yourself sob into the pillow. If that didn’t make it obvious enough to Ofelia what the results were, that would be her own fault.

You must have cried yourself dry and drifted into a light sleep because the sound of voices upstairs suddenly caught your attention. You could easily distinguish the voices. It was Madison, Alicia, and Nick.

For a few seconds as you sat up, you weren’t thinking about the fact that you were knocked up. You were just glad they made it back alive. And curiosity about what they found brought you to your feet. When you got to the top of the stairs, Alicia jogged over to you and pulled you into a tight hug, asking if you were feeling better. Then she was excited to show you the clothes she found while Madison was unpacking and storing away cans of food. You were happy their outing was successful. But in the back of your mind you were terrified because it was completely dark outside and Chris, Travis, and Daniel were still out there.

Another part of you was worried Ofelia would spill the beans to everybody. You weren’t sure when you would feel okay enough to tell anybody else, especially Chris. So you hoped she would keep her mouth shut for now.

The boat was still docked and you were sitting by the swimming deck, fighting to keep your eyes open. From the corner of your eye you saw Ofelia walking over to you, wrapping her sweater tighter around her body as a breeze flew by. She quietly took a seat next to you.

“What are you doing out here?” she questioned.

“Waiting for them to get back.”

“You worried?”

“Aren’t you?”

“Yeah, that’s why I couldn’t sleep.”

A semi-comfortable silence filled the air. You wished she hadn’t broken it.

“So, you really are pregnant? It was positive?”

You glanced at her with pure panic in your eyes. All you could do was nod.

She frowned. “You have to tell them, Y/N. You can’t keep this to yourself.”

“I don’t have to tell anyone,” you countered. “I can do whatever I want.”

You could tell she was frustrated with your attitude, but she remained calm. “If other people know, we can all help you. Everybody here cares about you. And don’t you think that Nick deserves to know-”

“Oh my god. Ofelia, it’s not-” You stopped yourself and thought about what exactly to say. “Look, I’m beyond tired right now. There’s literally a thing growing inside of me, like an actual human being forming. And I really don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to think about it.”

“Because you’re scared?”

You swallowed the lump in your throat and your eyes glossed over with tears. “What if it dies inside me? What if it, like, rips me apart?”

“That won’t happen,” she whispered.

“You don’t know that,” you choked out, wiping your nose with your sleeve.

She took a deep breath. “When we were at the pharmacy today... I had a feeling that you would take the test and it would be positive. So, I thought ahead. I brought back prenatal vitamins for you, Y/N. It will help keep the baby healthy, okay?”

Before you could respond, a flash light beaming in the distance caught the attention from both of you. Ofelia got up, swiftly approaching the side of the yacht.

“Is it them?” you asked, trying to subdue your tears and worries for now.

She didn’t answer until the light went off and they were close enough for her to squint and see. She smiled, “It’s them. They’re back.”

When all three of them boarded, you stood in horror. They all looked distraught and Chris was covered in blood.

Ofelia covered in mouth in disbelief. “What happened?” she inquired, taking a few steps closer to her father.

Daniel shook his head and motioned towards Chris. “Why don’t you ask the boy?”

You gulped as you turned to Chris, raising an eyebrow. “What happened out there? Are you guys okay?”

“We’re fine,” he muttered, rushing inside. He threw his backpack down on the coffee table and was headed for the stairs when Travis called his name in quite possibly the most stern voice you had ever heard from him. Chris stopped short.

“We have to talk about this,” Travis demanded in pure anger. Your heart was pounding. What the fuck happened?

He spun around and stood his ground. “I already told you there’s nothing to talk about.”

“Chris, you could have gotten yourself killed,” Travis reprimanded.

“It was a chance I was willing to take! We got the meds. Now no one on this boat has to get sick ever again.”

And with that he stormed down the steps as Madison was coming up. She gave Travis a curious look and you decided to go after Chris. As you rushed down the stairs you saw the door to the sleeping quarters slam. He was on edge, no doubt, and you didn’t want to make it worse. But you also considered yourself as the only person on board who would ever take the time to actually listen and understand him - and you knew he knew that. So you started with a gentle knock.

Silence.

You knocked again putting a little more strength into it.

Silence.

You let out a frustrated breath and added, “Chris, it’s me.”

The door opened not a second later. You immediately noted that he discarded his blood-drenched sweatshirt and shirt. He moved aside to let you in and promptly shut the door behind you.

There was another moment of silence, so you decided to be the first to speak, keeping your voice steady and filled with concern. “What happened out there?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “There was a room with a bunch of medication in it, antibiotics, vitamins, and like a dozen of the infected. It was like someone herded them all in there so no one would try to get to the meds. And my dad said it wasn’t worth the risk, but I knew it was. All we had to do was take out the infected and it would be a gold mine,” he explained. “Even Daniel said it wasn’t worth it so they started moving on, but I knew I had to do it with or without their help.”

“You know I told you not to wander off again,” you said, half-heartedly.

He pursed his lips. “I know. But I did it for you, Y/N. You’ve been feeling sick lately and I just needed to help.”

You felt lightheaded at the gesture, but also panicked at the realization that he really had no idea what was really going on with you. You weren’t sick, you were pregnant. When you were going to tell him was beyond you. All you knew for sure was that he put himself in immense danger to make you feel better and your stomach had butterflies and you were so glad he was okay.

You could feel your pulse racing through your veins as you stepped forward and lightly cupped his cheeks, your skin brushing against the smudged splatters of blood that were beginning to dry. You couldn’t think of anything to say, so you leaned closer to him, gently pressing your lips against his. His hands wandered to your lower back where his thumbs traced circles over the fabric of your sweater.

This was the first time you two had kissed since that night. You pulled back and whispered, “You should probably take a shower.”

“What, do I smell?” he joked.

You scrunched your nose and smiled. “Sorta. You’re also covered in blood.”

“Fair enough.” He quickly pecked your lips once more before reaching for some clean clothes.

You were sure you were blushing as you watched him stroll down the hallway to the bathroom. Once he was out of sight, you walked into your shared room with Alicia. She was sitting on her bunk. Her hair was wet; you assumed she had just cleaned up as well.

“Hey,” you greeted.

She slowly looked over at you. “There’s a pregnancy test in the bathroom trash,” she spoke softly. Your heart sunk and the boat engine started up.

“Oh. Uh, whose do you think it is?” You hoped you sounded convincing.

She sighed. “My mom, most likely. I don’t think she and Travis ever talked about having kids, it can’t be planned. Now isn’t exactly the best time to expand the family tree.”

You nodded in agreement.

The sound of the shower turning on reminded you that the test was still in the trash. You hoped Chris hadn’t seen it, but if he hadn’t then he might see it on his way out.

You were exhausted and petrified, but the adrenaline that shot through your body in that moment made you feel truly alert. “I’ll be right back,” you told Alicia before leaving the room as casually as possible.

The hallway was empty, so you rushed to the bathroom door. You slowly turned the knob, grateful that it was unlocked. You sifted through the trash for a moment and saw it. God, it was so obvious, it was practically right on top. You could only assume he didn’t see it. You weren’t even sure he knew you were in the room. The mirror that you had been staring in that same morning was steaming up, and it brought you back to how normal everything used to be. A soft moan to your side caught your attention. You leaned a little closer. It wasn’t like how the infected sound. In fact, it reminded you of the sounds from that night. And that’s when you realized what he was doing.

Your jaw nearly dropped and you rushed out of there. You took your time closing the door so it didn’t make a loud clicking noise.

“What are you doing?”

You jumped and spun around to see Nick standing in front of you. You hid the pregnancy test, clear as day in your right hand, behind your back and leaned against the wall. “Oh, I was just... I had to take some Tylenol, I have a headache.”

You were lying through your teeth.

He looked skeptical and tilted his head to the side. “Okay. I hope it kicks in soon. You should get some sleep.”

“Thanks.” You speed-walked to your room, quickly rushing over to your bag of clothes, slyly putting the pregnancy test at the bottom. When you stood up, Alicia was curiously watching you. You were holding some sweatpants to change into for the night. Thankfully, she thought nothing of your mildly frantic behavior and she rolled over and faced the wall.

You don’t remember falling asleep, but you think it must have happened as soon as your head touched the pillow. You awoke to light filling the room and your body screaming that it still hadn’t had enough rest. You could take a hint, so you closed your eyes and drifted off again.

The water was seeping into the raft. It would be minutes until it could no longer float. A hand on your knee felt reassuring until you looked down and noticed your basket ball sized stomach. You couldn’t help but start panicking. It was Chris by your side, but you didn’t feel safe anymore. He told you to start pushing. Suddenly Alicia was on your other side, she looked like she had seen a ghost. Keep pushing, Chris was telling you. Nothing was happening. And then you were screaming as you noticed your abdomen being ripped open from the inside. Chris was crying now and Alicia was gone. Maybe she fell into the water? You were sure you only blinked, but now Chris was cradling the baby in his arms. You watched him holding it with such love in his eyes as you drifted in the middle of the sea with a deflating raft. You would have started crying too until you noticed your baby start to decompose as if time was sped up somehow. Chris seemed unbothered as he handed the baby to you. The moment you touched it, it opened it’s eyes. They were yellow. Almost like a glowing yellow. It opened it’s mouth as if it scream and you saw razor sharp teeth right in front of your face-

You woke up in a cold sweat. Whatever your subconscious was trying to tell you, it needed to be quiet. You slowly sat up, wiping beads off sweat of your forehead. That was when the nausea slowly crept up on you. Taking a few deep breaths to relax yourself, you noticed that Alicia wasn’t in her bed so you wondered what time it was.

You decided to take a shower, still feeling a bit sluggish even as you got out and dressed yourself for the day. You assumed everyone was on deck so that’s where you went.

Madison was in the kitchen, holding a glass of water. Ofelia and Alicia were on the couch playing a card game, Nick was watching them.

“Good morning sleepyhead,” Madison said to you. “Nice of you to join us.”

You saw Chris sitting outside with his dad. Your cheeks burned as you remembered kissing him last night and hearing him in the shower.

“You want to play?” Ofelia asked.

You reluctantly agreed, hoping your stomach would settle down.

Strand stopped the boat and Daniel and Nick were fishing off the side, hoping for dinner. Chris had gone downstairs while Madison joined Travis outside. You wanted to follow Chris, but you also didn’t want to be obvious so you stayed where you were.

“Y/N, are you feeling any better today?” Alicia questioned without warning.

Feeling Ofelia staring at you, you gave a quick shrug. “A little, I guess.”

“That’s good.” You noticed Alicia glance outside at her mom and Travis. “Do you think he knows?”

“What?”

“Do you think he knows she’s pregnant?”

Ofelia sat up straighter and you tried to keep your eyes from bugging out of your head.

“What do you mean?” Ofelia asked.

Alicia lowered her voice, even though nobody was around. “I found a pregnancy test in the bathroom last night and I think it’s positive.”

“That’s- You think your mom took it?”

“Yeah. Makes the most sense.”

Ofelia glanced over to see your expression. Luckily you had perfected your poker face.

“I’m going to ask her about it tonight. I’ll probably mention it to Nick before, too,” Alicia started explaining.

There was no way this wouldn’t end in everybody learning the truth, but you were not ready. Not even close.

She continued, “I really can’t believe they would be so reckless. Seriously, how dumb do you have to be to let yourself get knocked up while the world is turning to absolute shit?”

Ouch. That made your eyes start to water a bit.

Ofelia chewed on her bottom lip as if she was in deep thought. She finally spoke, “Hey, maybe you should go ask them about it right now. I mean, the cat’s already halfway out of the bag, right?”

“No,” you quickly interjected. “You should let them talk about it when they’re ready.”

Alicia narrowed her eyes, and you wondered if she could see the pure panic happening inside your mind. “Are you okay?” she asked. Maybe your eyes were watering too much.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You tried to laugh it off and turned everyone’s attention back to the game. After Alicia won, she went downstairs for a bathroom break. You took the time to clear things up with Ofelia. “Oh my god, she thinks it’s her mom. What the hell do I do?”

“Tell her the truth.”

“No, what do I do besides that?”

“Y/N, that’s all there is to do,” Ofelia said. “The prenatal vitamins are in my room by the way if you ever decide to start taking them which I think you should.”

It took all you had to not burst into tears in that moment. You saw her point. Telling the truth to everybody would be best thing to do. You wouldn’t have to live with the secret anymore and perhaps the adults will be furious and Chris will be taken aback, but maybe it was best if they just knew already.

You took a slow breath. “How do I tell them? How do I tell them without having everyone disappointed in me?”

She grabbed your hand for support. “You just tell them the truth, alright? Everybody here cares for you and they will have no choice but to come to terms with it, okay? And you have me on your side to start.”

“Thank you,” you whispered.

The setting sun cast a pink hue over the skyline and everybody was outside admiring it - except for Travis, who was finishing cleaning up dinner, and Strand, who was in the wheelhouse. You were planning on taking Ofelia’s advice and simply telling everyone, but you needed to tell Chris first.

You stood next to Chris, asking to talk to him in private, and swiftly grabbed his hand and led him past his father and down the steps. Travis watched the two of you disappear downstairs, not knowing what to think. You supposed it didn’t matter if you weren’t being subtle anymore because everyone was going to know what was going on soon enough.

You entered your room and shut the door behind him.

“Okay, what’s going on?” he asked.

Your heart was pounding against your chest as you reached to the bottom of your bag and pulled out the pregnancy test. You gripped it tightly in your hands, feeling like you were going to pass out as you turned around to face him. The fear on your face was unmistakable. You were holding the test close to your chest, almost cradling it.

Chris glanced at your hands. “What’s that?”

You inhaled sharply before finding your voice. “Pregnancy test.”

He shifted uncomfortably on his feet. “What?”

“It’s a pregnancy test,” you said, a little louder with as much confidence as you could muster.

“Why do you have that?” he asked wearily.

Your mouth went dry and your tongue suddenly felt like sandpaper. “Because I took it.”

He didn’t say anything. He just stared at you, eyes growing wider by the seconds.

“It’s positive,” you told him, your nausea feeling worse than before. You looked down at the test in your hands, wanting nothing more than to run upstairs and throw it overboard. You began rambling, “It’s positive, so I-I guess I’m gonna have a baby unless it turns and eats me apart from inside or I die giving birth because that happens sometimes you know. I don’t want it to happen, but it could. It might.”

When you finally looked up at him, he was cautiously taking a few steps toward you. He looked completely panicked. “Uh, I.... Um-”

“I’m sorry,” you uttered before he could get the words out. “I didn’t want to tell you, but I guess you deserve to know and you were going to find out eventually. Please say something.”

“You’re- Can I see that?” he asked softly.

You nodded and showed him the test.

“How do you know it’s positive?”

“’Cause it has the two lines.”

“Holy shit,” he breathed out in absolute shock.

“That’s exactly what I said,” you half-smiled at him, hoping to lighten the mood and break the extreme tension in the room.

After a short silence, he pursed his lips and lowered his voice. “So, this isn’t like a joke? This is real?”

“It’s real, Chris. I wish it wasn’t, but it is.”

He gulped in response.

“You don’t hate me now, do you?”

Out of everything he’s learned in the past minute, that question seemed to take him by the biggest surprise. He quickly shook his head. “No. How could you even ask that, Y/N? I could never hate you. And this is my fault anyway.”

And that was all it took for you to burst into tears. You had a sudden tidal wave of emotions rush through your body and you couldn’t hold it together. He didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you in a tight embrace.

“I’m scared,” you sobbed into his shoulder.

“Me too,” he whispered.

“Dad, Y/N is pregnant. Dad, I got Y/N pregnant. I’m sorry, Dad, I didn’t realize that pulling out was an option.” Chris let out a scoff, “I can’t do this.”

“The first one sounded fine. And you’re not doing it alone, okay? I’ll be there too,” you explained. “I can even be the one to say it.”

He was pacing the room, trying to figure out how to tell his father. You were laying down on your bed, exhausted. You were always tired lately. Probably because your body was overworking itself forming a human.

Sitting down at the edge of the bed, he gently rested his hand on your leg. “Look, you don’t have to be there if you don’t want to. He’s going to be mad.”

“It will be easier if we just tell him together, Chris,” you said.

“But we don’t have to tell him today,” he countered.

“You’re right, we don’t.”

He smiled.

You quickly added, “But we should.”

His smile disappeared. He licked his lips, thinking what to say next. “Once he knows... once everyone knows, everything will be different.”

“Everything is already different,” you whispered.

He looked frightened, but you noticed him try to relax himself. He leaned forward. “I’m sorry,” he said softly before kissing your forehead.

You quickly sat up. “Don’t apologize. Do I want to have a baby? No, not really. But I am. We are. And... we both... It was both of us.”

He let out a slow breath, about to say something. A knock on the door interrupted him and startled you both. “Y/N? Chris?”

It was Travis. Surely he had gotten suspicious of you and Chris running off hand in hand and decided to check in.

You both shared a nervous glance. “It’s open,” you decided to call out. Neither of you bothered to move as the door opened and Travis peeked his head inside.

“Hey,” he greeted. “Everything alright?”

Chris nodded. “Yeah, everything’s fine.”

“Well, everybody is upstairs and I just couldn’t help but notice that you were both in a rush to get down here,” he pointed out, stepping further into the room.

“Uh, yeah. Actually, there’s something we need to tell you,” you stammered.

This caught his attention. He raised his eyebrows and shrugged, “Okay.”

“I feel like you should sit down,” you advised.

A nervous chuckle escaped his lips. “You’re scaring me a little.”

Madison appeared in the doorway behind Travis. Telling them both at the same time would be killing two birds with one stone, but you decided you wanted to tell Alicia at the same time too. So you got to your feet. “We should all go upstairs.”

You could sense the tension as you motioned for Travis and Madison to take a seat on the couch. Chris was simply watching you take control as you walked outside to get Alicia. In doing so, you grabbed the attention of everyone else. And suddenly everybody was sitting inside, even Strand who joined out of curiosity.

He poured a glass of whisky. “Let’s make this quick,” he urged.

You swallowed, squeezed your eyes shut, and took a deep breath to calm your heart rate.

“Okay, um, I’m... I’m pregnant,” you admitted.

Alicia’s eyes widened. She looked... betrayed? You couldn’t tell. And you suddenly felt like crying.

Travis stood up slowly. “Chris?”

“Yeah?” His throat felt dry.

“Is this... A-Are.... Did you... I-”

“It’s mine,” he confirmed.

Nick leaned against the couch and snorted, “Maybe we should look for condoms the next time we go to shore.”

“It’s a little late for that,” you contended.

“How long have you known?” Madison asked. She seemed oddly calm.

“Since yesterday,” you answered.

“You were never sick. You were pregnant,” she realized.

You nodded.

Travis started shaking his head. “No, this has to be a mistake. How can you know?”

“I took a pregnancy test-”

“Where the hell did you get a pregnancy test? I can’t imagine Strand had one lying around on the boat.”

“After everybody left, I went to shore too and found one.”

Chris, who didn’t know that, narrowed his eyes. “You went out there alone?”

“No, I wasn’t alone. Ofelia went with me.”

Daniel looked at his daughter with disapproval and you felt a little bad for ratting her out, but there was no use in lying about it.

“Okay, so you took one test. That doesn’t mean it’s accurate,” Travis exclaimed.

Madison let out a loud, disappointed sigh. “No, she has all the symptoms. I can tell.”

“She’s just a little sick. It’s not-”

“She’s been feeling nauseous, she puked, and she’s always tired.”

Nick absentmindedly chimed in again. “And her boobs are bigger.”

Everybody gave him a glare and he hunched over, presumably understanding that he should stay quiet for now.

“Travis, I’ve been through it. I know,” Madison told him.

“And you’re okay with this?” he nearly shouted.

That was when Madison angrily stood up. “No, I’m not okay with this. Not at all. But there’s nothing we can do about it.”

“Dad, I’m sorry,” Chris mumbled.

“Hey, I don’t want to hear it right now, Chris. Do you even realize what you’ve done?”

You stepped closer to Chris defensively, clinging onto his arm. “Don’t be mad at him.”

“He got you pregnant, Y/N.”

“You’re really going to make me say it? It takes two to tango,” you replied angrily.

“I, um.... I just need to think.” Travis sighed and walked outside dramatically.

“So, are we going to have to listen to a screaming baby on board?” Strand wondered, prompting another sip of his drink.

You felt defeated. You truly expected Travis to handle it better. He always seemed like the reasonable and rational one. But, perhaps finding out he’s going to be a grandfather was enough for him to not be able to remain stable.

You frowned and made awkward eye contact with Alicia for a moment, who quickly got to her feet and rushed down the stairs.

“I imagined this going better,” you whispered to Chris. He simply placed a kiss on your temple to comfort you.

#lowkey i went off #fear the walking dead #fear twd imagine #ftwd imagine #ftwd imagines #chris manawa #chris manawa imagine #chris manawa x reader #reader insert #ftwd x reader #ftwd #imagines

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