#also so incredibly jealous of the cat girl why cant i be turned into a cat creature what the fuck

[sphylor]

just finished the first seasom of dungeon meshi haha what the fuck 😃

[so-writing]

Sugar, Honey, Ice and Tea - Matthew Tkachuk (7)

all parts in the master list

Minimal editing. Also hit me with some predictions for the end of this and also any thoughts at all about it. Is it trash, is it good? I am curious about what you think!

--

Matthew didn’t usually drink much during their time away from home. If the Flames won, he’d usually have a beer or two to celebrate and that was it. This past week had him consuming more alcohol than he had in a long time and he had no idea why.

The roommate situation put him on edge the moment he found out who he was going to be staying with and his mood soured even more when he discovered they’d have to share a bed so maybe that was why he was taking shots and downing beers like he was on summer vacation. 

He remembered bits and pieces of the previous night: she kissed him and then disappeared, he continued to take shots long after she’d gone, they had a conversation about moms in their hotel room. 

That was it though. He had no recollection of changing into his pajamas and crawling into bed. When his alarm went off, he woke up in bed alone and as he surveyed the room, he realized all her stuff was gone. 

Sure, they were going home today but damn, she must have really wanted to get the fuck away from him. He wasn’t ready to acknowledge that it might have hurt his feelings a little bit so he pushed the thought away and began to get ready for the day.

*

The feeling of peace you got when you quietly closed the door behind you and wheeled your luggage away from the room you shared with Matthew Tkachuk was incredible. 

The past week had been a roller coaster that you were dying to get off of and all you had to do was get through this last game and the bus ride home. That would be easy though, you’d have no interaction with Matthew during the game and you knew damn well he would rather cling to the top of the escape hatch on the bus rather than sit next to you. 

It was finally over. Your mouth was practically watering at the thought of sitting down in your apartment, by yourself, with a bottle of wine, Netflix and Chinese takeout. 

You watched as the Flames won the game and as much as you didn’t want to notice it, you did. Matthew was playing like shit, barely dragging himself around the ice as he tried to keep up with his teammates. His personal play was entirely unremarkable and you were sure he was going to hear all about it as soon he got to the locker room. 

“How happy are you to be free of Tkachuk?” 

“So fucking happy, you’ve got no idea!” 

You laughed along with another of the assistants as the two of you helped organize the remaining luggage for the driver to load beneath the bus. 

“He played like shit today, might be bummed you two aren’t going to keep sleeping together.”

“Oh, don’t even. ‘Sleeping together’ implies something entirely different that what we were forced to do.”

“I know, I know,” he shook his head and laughed easily, “but honestly, did you think about it? I know you two aren’t exactly besties but come on, look at the man.” 

Did you think about it?

Of course you did. You thought about it multiple times. Matthew had stripped down in front of you, once completely and another time almost there. There was no denying that you’d gone to bed at least once thinking about what it would be like to spend the night enjoying yourself underneath him instead of sleeping next to his grumpy ass. 

You were taking that shit to the fucking grave, though.

“He’s a complete prick, and I don’t know if you heard, but I slept on the floor a few days ago, so no. I wouldn’t fuck that man with your dick.” 

That response sent him into a fit of laughter, “I mean I get that it was a rough week for you but I’ll be honest, I respectfully disagree. That pest could fucking get it anytime he wanted.” 

“Gross,” you playfully rolled your eyes as the two of you finished your task, “spend a few hours with him not in a strictly hockey setting and I promise you’ll change your mind.”

“Doubtful!” 

When all the luggage was loaded, the two of you made your way onto the bus. None of the players were there yet so you both took advantage of the back two rows that only contained two seats each. The entirety of the team didn’t completely fill the bus so you, stupidly, assumed you would sit alone on the trip home. 

Shoving your AirPods into your ears, you opened Spotify and settled into both the uncomfortable bus seat and the several hours long trip home. 

Not even ten minutes later, a body dropping into the seat next to you pulled your concentration out of your music and when you looked to see who it was that sat next to you, you couldn’t yourself from rolling your eyes. 

Matthew Tkachuk gave you a tight smile before rummaging around through his book bag and producing a paperback book. 

No he wasn’t. There was no way he was reading that. Dumb hockey bros weren’t into high fantasy. There was no fucking way he was reading ‘A Game of Thrones.’

He was though, and you watched him like a hawk as he parted the book where his mark was placed, almost halfway through, before you felt like you had to say something.

“You’re legitimately reading that book,” you pulled out an AirPod and gave him an inquiring look, “really?”

“Yeah,” he shrugged his shoulders, “I loved the show, figured I’d give the books a try.”

“They’re really good, much better than the show in my opinion.” 

Matthew’s smile stretched across his face, “that’s what I’m thinking! I know I’m barely into it but the books are so much more detailed.”

It was a cute moment, the two of you sharing an interest, but you were determined to remain all business with him.

“Why’d you sit here?” 

“I don’t know,” he ran a hand through his curls, “why not?”

A quick silence formed between the two of you before he tried again, “what are you listening to?” 

“Uh, Bring Me The Horizon, you probably won’t like it.” 

“Try me.” 

Matthew handed you his phone and you opened up his Spotify account and typed in the song you were listening to. 

“So the band is Bring Me The Horizon, right? What’s the song called?” 

“Sugar honey ice & tea.” 

“Okay.” 

++

You settled into a comfortable flow with Matthew. One of your pods was in his ear as he read AGOT and listened to the whatever you were playing. He didn’t mind when you fell asleep on his shoulder, leaning his head against yours as he continued reading his book. 

“Hey,” he was gentle, “wake up. We’re home.”

“What?” 

“We’re back in Calgary.”

“Oh, okay.” 

“Are you good?” 

“Yeah, I just, yeah. Can you ask someone if they wouldn’t mind taking me home? My car’s here but I’m so fucking tired.”

“I can take you home.”

“Matthew, no, you cant. You need to rest. I’m fine, I’ll be fine. I’ll get an Uber or something.” 

“No.”

He was firm in his response. Your eyes were heavy with sleep and you were in no condition to do anything on your own. 

“Whatever, I don’t want to fight with you, dickface.”

Matthew chuckled to himself as he guided you into the parking garage toward his car. You let him open the passenger door and help you into the Audi. 

“What’s your address?” 

You mumbled it quickly, earning a smile and a “we live in the same building” declaration from him. 

Far too sleepy to notice anything around you, you nodded in and out of sleep as Matthew drove from the area to your building. His quick glances in your direction were lost on you and it was only when he was trying to get you out of the car that you really woke up. 

“Fuck, Matt, I’m so sorry. I’m just so exhausted.” 

“I get it,” he helped you get your bags out of his trunk, “you didn’t have a great week and I had a lot to do with that.” 

The two of you headed up to your second floor apartment in silence, you trudging up the stairs with little effort while Matthew followed you, making sure you didn’t fall. 

“This is me. Where are you?” 

“Oh, uh,” his cheeks lit up red as his eyes traveled toward the ceiling.

“Of course, superstar Matty Tkachuk lives in the penthouse on the top floor,” you teased, “if only we could all be so lucky.” 

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with your apartment,” he slid around you let himself in as soon as you opened the door and surveyed his surroundings, “I really like it.” 

*

He didn’t expect her place to be so cute, but it was and he smiled wide when her black cat rubbed against his legs.

“He’s called Onyx.”

“I like him,” Matthew leaned down to scratch his ears, “who takes care of him when you’re gone?” 

“My neighbor. She’s a sweet lady.”

“I’m glad."

“I’m sure this is peasant shit compared to your place, but we do what we can.” 

He stopped petting Onyx and looked up to meet her eyes. 

“I would never think that about anyone. Jesus Christ, do you really think I’m that much of a fucking asshole?”

She didn’t say anything, but her face turned beet red and she turned away from him before turning back again.

“I’m sorry. I’m so used to you being awful that any small morsel of kindness is unfamiliar. Sorry.” 

“It’s fine. You should sleep though.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

He paused for a moment before breaking out in a big grin, “can I take Onyx up with me?”

“Absolutely not! Onyx is a heathen like the rest of us on the lower floors!”

“He deserves 360 degree views of Calgary.” 

You paused, turning to look directly at Matthew.

“Do you have that?”

“Yeah.” 

“I am so fucking jealous.” 

“You can come up and see too, as long as you bring Onyx.”

“As much as I don’t like you, I’m absolutely going to take you up on that, Matthew.”

He hated ‘Matthew’ and she knew it. He had tried to correct her a few times but she wasn’t budging. He wasn’t going to argue now, though, because she was adorable standing in her own apartment with her cute cat rubbing against her legs and—No. No, no, no. Matthew did not like this girl because this girl was fucking terrible and she hated him.

Except, he did like her and she was the opposite of terrible and she had an adorable cat. 

What the fuck was he doing?

[lustbile-archive]

Freak

MarkxReader

Word Count: 4.3k

Summary/Warnings: Based off of Freak by Doja Cat

because Mark listens to doja cat and doja cat put freak on spotify and both of these things did a lot for me personally.

Smut, but also some angst and fluff.

Warning! Switch!Mark and Switch!Reader, jealousy, unhealthy relationship and reactions, reader is kind of dramatic ngl, and like a daddy kink for like 2 seconds. I really just wanted to write a smut based off the song but somewhere along the way it developed a plot. The song also uses ‘girl’ but as per usual this fic does not use gendered pronouns (also I would put a read more on this but I don’t have my laptop so I’m so sorry)

“Is it too tight?” you try not to laugh as you whisper in his ear, your lips brushing against his skin making a shiver wrack his body and his hips cant upwards.

You bite back a whimper when the bulge pressing against the fabric of his jeans bumps into the seat of your underwear, a devious and satisfied grin pulling on his lips before he responds, “just tight enough baby.”

He tugs roughly at the cuffs that lock him to the head of your bed to prove his claim, the dull metal denting his skin. You had only asked to be nice, the irritation that swirled in your belly fed the evil little monster in your mind that screamed, ‘I don’t care about you Mark. I hope it hurts.’

Truly, you never would want to hurt Mark, unless it turned him on obviously, but unintentionally? Never. But where you sat straddling his lap and he laid shirtless and restrained below you, you can’t help but itch in anger and jealousy. A need to make him hurt as much as you wouldn’t admit out loud that he hurt you.

You had met Mark through mutual friends, and it wasn’t too far into the night that you realized you were hooked onto the grinning boy, an evil need to see what he could offer clawing at your skin. You ignored the concerned lingering looks your friends passed you when they noticed your interest, and you definitely ignored your best friend when she tried to discreetly mention that Mark may be a little too soft hearted for your shenanigans, too puppy like to keep up with what you liked to do. You were absolutely giddy as you watched the wide eyed pretty boy laugh and grin at the conversation amount at the group, and you were even giddier when his face flushed a deep red when your eyes met in response to your foot brushing his leg under the table.

Every time your eyes met that night, you’d offer a less than sweet smile. One time even adding a gentle wave of your fingers when you caught him staring. Excitement finally flooded your veins when you motioned to the exit of the small bar your friends had gathered at, and he gulped and nodded in response.

So no, you didn’t listen to your friend, and to hit the nail in the coffin, you drug Mark into the backseat of her car. She had very politely agreed to be the designated driver of the night, and you very nicely returned the favor by stuffing your mouth full of the nice boy she warned you to leave alone while you sat snuggly on his face. The evidence of your terrible listening skills left across both of your chins, and even some drops left on her upholstery.

No one seemed to notice your absence when you crawled back into your seats, or the way Mark wouldn’t stop licking his lips throughout the night. Every time his tongue peaked from between his lips making warmth tingle between your thighs.

Your friend figured it out. Of course she did, when she found your panties stuffed under her passenger seat and a few suspicious dried spots on the seats, and of course she gave you an ear full. ‘Mark is too sweet for this,’ and ‘you can’t play with him like this, he’ll start to feel something.’ Her words only passed over your head. You're an adult, and so is Mark, so it’s not like what you were doing was bad. The disappointment shaking of her head was the only response you got when you told her this, and all she got was a roll of your eyes.

So no, you didn’t leave Mark alone. Far from it actually. You found yourself magnified to his side whenever your friends gathered, childish grins shared between you two at the knowing of what would happen later that night, and you even wormed your way into his life outside of your friend gatherings. His boyish charms, and the warmth he offered brought you back to him every time, and not to mention the way he could use his tongue. Sometimes you two even revisited the back seat setting of your first meeting when your friend shot you one too many warning glares and you wanted to prove a point.

And maybe you shouldn’t have told him that you don’t date. ‘I don’t really do relationships,’ you whispered into the thick air of his room as you lay naked next to him, your head laying on his shoulder as his fingers brush your skin. You ignore the way his chest deflated at your words, assuming it was just his breath relaxing, and instead focus on his acknowledging hum and the quiet, ‘yeah, um.. me neither,’ he mutters. Those words being the last of the night before you fell unconscious, warm and naked in his sheets.

No maybe, you definitely should have never said that. Not when you could already feel the boy clawing out a nest in your heart and building a home. Not when you could feel your body light up whenever you found him amongst the crowd of your friends. Not when you found yourself enjoying the time spent tucked into his side just as much as you enjoyed the time that you were stuffed full of him. But you only realize this when you see him standing with her.

“I don’t see the problem,” you friend brushes off your grumbling question of ‘why is he with her’ with her hand swatting at the air, “it’s not like you were going to date him anyways. All you do is play games.”

You feel your face heat up at her words, anger and a tinge of embarrassment stinging your nerves, “but still,” you dumbly respond, no other words forming from your irritation.

“But still what?” she finally turns to lock her eyes on you, “I told you not to mess with him. Mark Lee is a boyfriend guy. He wants to be in a relationship so bad he can’t stand it.”

“That’s not what he told me,” you bite back, a petulant attitude filling every space inside of you.

“Of course it’s not, what like he’s gonna scare off the best lay of his life by admitting he’s a hopeless romantic?” her eyes go wild as she tries to reason with you, a task she’s not very unfamiliar with, “you might be a great fuck, but you’re also incredibly dense.”

You feel your chest cave at her words. The reality check squeezing your heart in sharp claws. The only small comfort you get is the small smile of pity she offers when you begin to resemble a kicked puppy.

“Just talk to him about it some other time, or if you really want to know what I think, just leave him alone and forget about it,” she puts down her now empty glass to free her hand to pet at your arm, her warmed palms making you melt slightly, “just don’t do anything stupid please.”

But of course you have to do something stupid, if you didn’t it just wouldn’t make sense. So you pull yourself away, a quiet, ‘I’m gonna get a drink,’ falling from you pouting lips as you turn away. An uninvited grin momentarily breaking your moodiness when she swats at your butt in encouragement.

And you do head towards the table covered in drinks, but unfortunately Mark and the mystery girl had moved themselves right into the path you had to take to get there. The smile he offers when your eyes meet feels like a punch to a chest, the small wave and a bubbly ‘hi’ chilling your skin.

If you were a real adult you’d smile, nod, and keep walking. Maybe trying to talk to him in the morning, or taking the advice you’d been handed and just end what you had with him before it got any worse, but you weren’t a real adult. A jealous child that had their favorite toy taken by a sweet girl that didn’t know it had your name scratched into it was hiding in the shell that was your body, and that child started to break your shell when instead your face twisted up in a grimace. You make sure not to let your eyes fall on the girl next to him, she hadn’t done anything and you didn’t want to start something with a stranger, but after a dramatic eye roll, you locked a harsh glare on the boy.

He jerks back as if your stare was a sharp knife digging into his stomach, a flash of confusion and hurt landing on his face. His mouth gapes open to question your attitude, but there’s no time for words to escape him before your turning and heading towards the exit.

It’s as if the room is suddenly filled with dozens of more people than there were before you saw him. Elbows and shoulders hitting you as you move through the ocean of bodies, every contact on your skin sparking your irritation up by a few degrees as you start to get overwhelmed by the activity around you. Being touched felt like a demon was dancing around your shoulders to see how much he could get on your nerves, to see how much he could push you until you made a bad decision.

The cold air that hits you when you get outside turns your stomach, your nails clawing into the railing of the house’s porch in an attempt to calm your breathing and cool the fire burning in your belly.

You wanted to be angry when you heard you name coming from his lips, but the concern in his voice and the warmth of his hand running against your back makes you melt in both happiness that he followed you and shame at how that made you feel.

“What’s up? Are you okay?” he asks and you decide then that you don’t want sympathy. You wanted every other part of him all to yourself and if that wasn’t realistic, then you might as well take what you know you could get.

You turn faster than he expected as he jumps slightly as you move in his arms. Your fingers immediately grab the collar of his shirt to pull him closer, your nose pressing into his as he grabs at your hips to steady himself.

“I need you Mark,” your sudden whiny tone throwing him off from what he had witnessed in the house. You tug on his shirt and pout up at him in a way that, no matter what the situation, has made him give you exactly what you wanted, “please?”

“Um.. yea- yeah okay,” he shakes his head to clear his thoughts, a small smile pulling on his lips, “are you sure? You’re good right?”

“Yeah,” you lie, as you move to press your mouth along his jaw to avoid making any more eye contact, “just need to get fucked real bad.”

The laugh that shakes his chest feels like nails being pressed into your heart.

The drive to your house was used to plot your revenge, and maybe your last time having Mark to yourself. You had pulled him away from someone else tonight, but how many more times could you do that before he decided he didn’t want to be pulled anymore? Your friend had said he was a boyfriend type, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he sees you as someone to date.

And that's how you got where he laid now. You barely gave him time to park before you were jumping out of his car and stomping to your front door. Your quick strides made him have to pick up his pace behind you, only just getting his foot in the door before it slammed in his face.

You only glanced behind you as he locked the door behind him. You voice cold as you walk to your bedroom as you command, “take off your shirt.”

You heard him fumbling behind you as you strip to your underwear and climb onto your bed and once he had walked through the doorway everything was a blur.

Your nails dig harshly into the skin of his chest as you sit up, a small smile pulling on your lips when he whimpers out from the pain. You run your hands up and down the skin of his stomach as you take in his form, trying to memorize every inch below you. You feel your breath deepen as you move over the boy that’s ruled the space of your mind for so long.

“C‘mon sweetheart,” he encourages, your eyes falling shut when his voice wraps around your bones, “do something to me.”

The quickness of your response is almost embarrassing, as you sit back on his hips. Your fingers grip tightly onto his belt when his bulge digs into your core, the rough fabric of his jeans sending you reeling. Your shoulders shift forward and your thighs tense as you begin to slowly rock against him.

You whimper as pleasure runs up your spine, your arousal already beginning to seep into the fabric of your underwear and dampening his jeans as you move desperately on him.

It’s always been this way since the first time you had each other. Your mean attitude melts once you're on top of him, even when he’s locked up the way he is now. Even with the upper hand he’s still made his claim on your heart and you’d do anything to please him. But that doesn’t stop you from loving to watch him squirm.

“Fuck Mark,” your words are raspy as they leave you mixed with a groan. Your hips rapidly rutting against him as your body craves the type of orgasm that only the boy below you has been able to pull from you.

“Move down to my thigh,” he demands, his hips tilting upward to try to get you to move away, “wanna watch you come on my thigh before I'm inside you.”

You shake your head defiantly as your hips start moving in circles, your clit meeting the spot where his tip presses into the fabric and making you tremble and moan.

“Mm fuck,” his hips lift off the bed to match your pace, this and the way his teeth digs into his lip and the fact that he refuses to say the safe word you two agreed on is all you need to keep continuing, “fuck stop I don’t want to come in my pants.”

“Then don’t,” you sneer as you slow your hips to press harder into him. You both moan in the stuffy air that fills the room, the promise of an orgasm finally starting to bite at your skin.

“I can’t stop it when you’re acting like this,” he pleads and swears loudly as you continue your motions. His conflicting emotions of wanting to hold off but also wanting to come so badly showing blatantly on his pretty face, “fuck you’re always so mean when you’re in control.”

“Deal with it, you wouldn’t come back if you didn’t like it,” your words are punctuated with a throaty groan as you start to come. The muscles in your stomach flexes as you clench hard around nothing. Your body shakes as you fall forward, you palms lying flat on his stomach to hold you up as it feels like you’re being ripped at the seams. The static in your brain almost fully blocks out the irritated swearing you hear from below you and loud metallic sound that follows.

You can’t stop the scream you let out when you’re suddenly pressed face down into your sheets, your ass pressed back into his crotch as his harsh fingers curl around your hips. Your body still shakes in aftershocks and makes your head feel like it’s filled with water.

“I told you to move to my thigh,” he voice is rough, but not truly angry as he sits up behind you. He shoves his thigh between your legs to make a point, the friction from his jeans digging into the sensitive skin of your core makes you whimper as he uses his hands to pull you back and forth on the length of his thigh, “why don’t you ever fucking listen to me?”

“Don’t act like you don’t like it,” you bite back. Your nails claw into the sheets below you as you move with his hands. The pleasure and the pace of everything happening around you melts your brain as you speak before you can stop yourself, “if you didn’t you would have stayed with that girl from the party instead of coming back with me.”

He stops moving once your words reach his ears, his fingers massaging your skin the only part of him that moves as he lets the sentence move through his mind. You cringe at the realization of what you said and at the feeling of his nails scraping your skin as he pulls one hand away.

“Are you by any chance jealous sweetheart?” you hurry your face into the mattress in shame, your ears perking up only when you hear the clicking noise of his belt and the sharp sound of his zipper being pulled down.

You hum into the fabric pressed to your face as you sink further down towards the bed at being caught having feelings like this.

You hear the cracking sound of his hand meeting your skin before you feel it, the dull throbbing pain spreading as the seconds tick. You do feel your body jump in response and more arousal begin to drip from your body.

You loudly whine in protest when his fingers gently wrap around your neck and pull you up to press against his chest, and once your face is placed next to his, he places a soft kiss on your cheek.

“Answer me baby,” his thumb runs circles into the skin protecting your jugular making you melt back into him, “were you or were you not jealous tonight.”

“Yes,” you admit, placing your pride in a wood chipper.

“Yes what?” you impatiently grunt at the question, but can’t help but love the way he’s playing with you.

“Yes daddy,” you punctuate with a roll of your eyes.

“You shouldn’t be,” he continues to press soft kisses across your skin as his body warms every inch of you. His tone is full of patience making you calm and dazed in his hold, “I’m all yours.”

You yelp, as once he’s finished speaking, he simultaneously digs his teeth into the skin of your jaw and shoves himself fully inside of you. You scratch at his arm as you flutter around him in an attempt to adjust at the sudden intrusion.

You can feel your tongue moving as you plead into the air, but when he begins thrusting into you all the sounds are formed into one mass in your mind and your toes painfully curl. His hips smacking into your skin and the way he makes you stretch around your eyes roll back.

“That’s right,” the steady tone he holds as he knocks into you is almost unnerving as you begin to ragdoll in his hold, “and this little jealous streak you have going makes me think you belong to me just as much as I belong to you.”

He shifts on his knees in search of a better angle, and once he hears your breath pick up he knows he’s found it deep inside you. The way you crumble against him makes him wear a mean grin.

“All mine aren’t you?” he sounds far too proud of himself for your liking. There’s a beat of silence before his open palm lands harshly once again on the tingly skin of your ass, “aren’t you?”

“Yes Mark,” you spit out before you begin gnawing on your lip. Tears form across your water line as once the words finally leave you, he rewards you by moving to press his calloused fingers against your clit.

Incoherent words spill from you as you jerk against him, but he only laughs in response. He immediately starts moving tight circles against the buzzing skin, enjoying the way your chest moves from the way your body arches away from him, your nipples pressing against the thin fabric of your bralette making his brain go haywire.

“You need to come baby,” his voice is gruff and strained as he bosses you, finally showing the way your so tightly wrapped around him is affecting him, “after the little game you played earlier, I’m not gonna last long. You know that don’t you? That’s why you did it?”

“No Mark, I promise,” you shake your head as you grind against his fingers, a second orgasm looming over your head.

“Now don’t start lying to me now, you evil little thing,” you can feel yourself start to shake and your legs start to tingle as he whispers his taunts in your ear, “come for me.”

His fingers, his words, and the way he splits you apart pushes you flying over the edge. Your orgasm floods your veins as you clench harshly around him, the pleasure rocketing up your spine and making you cry out.

The way you wrap around him as you come, makes his hips stutter as he begins to come. He lets out a long groan into your ear and the sound and the feeling of him releasing warm and thick inside you makes your hands reach back to desperately grab at his hips. His fingers speed up as he comes, his orgasm making his brain too foggy to register that he’s elongating your orgasm until it’s bordering on painful.

His adrenaline subsides as he releases the last bit of come inside you, making his balance falter as he collapses both of you to the bed. He’s conscious enough to move his hand from your throat, and instead moves it to pet your face in an attempt to sooth you.

He’s still deep inside of you as he presses his chest against your back to curl around you. His heated breath hitting your face as he uses your face as a pillow as both of your breaths even out. You feel his knee push between your legs, and it feels like your muscles have been turned to jello.

It feels like decades before he finally whispers, almost like he’s afraid that speaking too loud would scare you away, “I didn’t know you’d be jealous.”

“Stop,” you cringe at how sinscere he sounds.

“No we need to talk about it,” his arm wraps around your ribcage and pulling you closer, wanting to make sure you feel safe before entering the conversation.

“I never thought about how you were feeling, so I really never expected you to get jealous over something like that, so I’m sorry.”

“Mark stop,” you don’t think when your hands falls to lace your fingers with his, “I’m the one who overreacted and got jealous over something that wasn’t my business. You shouldn’t be apologizing.”

“But I want to,” he shifts onto his elbow to peer down at you, the emotion behind his eyes scaring you, “if you got that jealous, that means you were clearly feeling something deeper that I wasn’t noticing, and considering how strongly I feel about you, it’s disappointing that I didn’t notice.”

“What do you mean how strongly you feel?” the insecurity in your tone makes your stomach turn, but you need to know.

“I like you a lot,” he sighs deeply once the words are out in the open, “and I have since we met, but when you said you didn’t do relationships I convinced myself that I couldn’t lose you so I just agreed. It was stupid, but I really change your mind if I just stuck around.”

“You did though,” you hand mindlessly moves to grab onto his ear, your fingers kneading the cartalidge and making him shiver, “I like you too, and I should have told you but I was being a brat about the idea of actually liking someone.”

“Oh so we‘re both dumb hm?” he teased leaning into your touch, the fondness behind his eyes making warmth spread across your chest.

“Yeah but I think we already knew that.”

“True,” he lays back down to wrap himself around you and press his mouth tightly against yours momentarily, “also that girl was only a classmate. You got jealous for nothing.”

“Nothing is an understatement,” you groan in embarrassment, “we never defined what we were, there was no reason for me to get wound up like that.”

“If I had just gotten the nerve to tell you that I wanted a relationship you never would have gotten wound up.”

“We really are both dumb,” your blank tone pulls a boyish laugh from him, making him smile and press kisses across you skin.

“You wear me out you know that?” you grin up at him, batting your eyelashes in a way that would read as innocent if you weren’t tangled together in the way you were.

You lean up slightly, crowding his space with your breath, before running your tongue over the seam of his slightly parted mouth, “like you’re not obsessed with it.”

He darts forward, catching you lips in his and making you squeal both from shock and the feeling of him slipping out of you from his movements. He circles your body with his arms and pulls you to lay on top of him.

“You know I’ve never met anyone like you,” you squirm against him, not actually trying to get anywhere just to annoy him a bit. Your legs fall to the sides to straddle him, reminding you of the way the series of events that happened in your bed tonight started. You squeak and pout when he digs his teeth into the skin of your jaw to still you as you keep shifting, “and I don’t think I ever will.”

“Same to you Mark. You’ve ruined me.”

[sometipsygnostalgic]

xenoblade chronicles  2 rapidfire review

π after i started writing up a 5000 word review and was still on the “character” section ive decided to make a rapidfire version to get to the fucking point. 

Story - at the end of the day, it’s a tale about how to deal with all the pain and insecurity that life throws at you. how to dig down deep and find a way to continue in what you may interpret as a dreadful world. it also has some of the most satisfying mysteries and plot resolutions i’ve ever seen in a videogame. utterly touching themes. unfortunately gets a bit too shonen at points especially with the protagonist. also quite possibly a lowkey harem anime.  

Story rating - 8 out of 10.   

Characters -  mostly all amazing in the english version. 

Rex - a top lad. your best mate. however, becomes a total flawless gary stu pretty quickly. better than many protagonists out there. i like the way he gets people to open up by acting so casually friendly around them. 7 out of 10.

Pyra - unfortunately the weakest character in the main cast. has 3 forms that are treated as different characters for some reason, and no emotions beyond “sad” and “in love with rex”. her mythra form is a slightly better character who will talk to other cast members and sass down people. however mythra also comes across as weak and overly emotionally fragile at times, considering she is supposed to be the Master Blade. i suspect she exists for rex to have 4 3 girlfriends at once.   

Azurda -  dragon grandpa. subversive in that when he dies for the hero to move on from the homeland, he immediately resurrects himself as a cute furry thing that sleeps in rex’s helmet. best videogame decision ever. gives top advice.

Nia - welsh. double furry. how old is she? 6? most useful NPC. swears a hell of a lot. hilarious sassmaster with an intriguing story and well-rounded motivations. consistently interesting relationships with other cast members up to the end of the game. even remains the same after receiving her compulsory magical girl transformation. has the most awesome magical girl transformation. gives the main villain super cancer, causing him to blow up like harry potter’s aunt. probably the best character. lightly orbits the black hole of the rex harem, struggling to maintain geostational stability against the powers of fanservice.  

Dromarch - a good dad cat. there is not a lot else to say about dromarch, except that you can ride him, which is badass. he and azurda are the old dad types babysitting the kids. 

Tora - meh meh. actually likable mechanic child. why is this furry cat thing a key member of my party. despite rarely ever upgrading his blade he has made me basically immortal many times. nopon mask is underrated. masterpon is same at start of game as at end of game. that is to say he is an ambitious child, and a bit of a pervert. however, has terrible taste in upgrades. has many IRL blades pointed at him.  

Poppi - poppi artificial blade who speak like masterpon. poppi α has cool design. poppi α adorable and cool. due to being newborn blade, poppi have refreshing and truthful view on world. poppi have tragic artificial sister who almost die terribly after evil nopon brainwash!  poppi have most sad heartbreaking scene at end of game. however, poppi QT and poppi QT π designs can die in big fire.  poppi good at throwing shade. it endearing and special trait. 

Morag - technically the group normie. however, very weird. when you first see morag she reeks of pure chilled badassery. logical and with a strong sense of justice and compassion, morag starts off as an intimidating antivillain but becomes a staple member of the party. even though rex and the gang are fugitives in her city, she lets them leave because she senses they weren’t crooked ruffians and they had a purpose of their own. but she comes back to kick their ass when she thinks they’re causing more trouble, and is actually quite pissed off about rex and pyra holding back on her. has a sweet relationship with the emporer, her distant cousin/adoptive kid brother. morag learns on her adventure the value of the optimistic views the kids  around her have of the world, and says multiple times if more people thought like they did, maybe there wouldn’t be so much political nonsense  stopping people from living together peacefully. morag has a lot of pride and cannot deal with being oneupped. i love her.

Brighid - Morag’s wife blade who is one of many that struggles with the thought of losing her identity after regenning. has a diary of her past lives. uses it to taunt mythra about that one time she kicked her ass. pretends to be a little distant but low key super emotionally invested in the cast’s development. literally asked a main villain if she was like her past self that he knew, causing him to reconsider his entire philosophy on blades becoming completely different people when they’re reborn. bitchslaps rex that one time. Owns everybody at some point. such a beautiful character design that i never even noticed her chest is basically bare. 

shellhead Zeke - the prince... of NOTHING. wishes he was still a student. that one time he nearly died, he was probably impaled by a falling twig. enjoyed playing Team Rocket. surprisingly wise for a teenlike NEET. does not look after his precious turtle. potentially does have a thunder powered eye. however, definitely requires second contact lens. unfortunately not comparable to rex in combat especially as his Luck stat means using a legendary crystal on him is like throwing it away. 

Pandoria - i often forget pandoria is a blade because she is zeke’s girlfriend, also i never use her in battle due to his redundentness. well reknowned for also not looking after turtles properly. also well reknowned for slam dunking the prince over his nonsense while being equally silly.  

BAD GUYS

Jin - apparently has special people-drawing trait that makes all the good cast who know him shocked he is ordering such evil bastard things to happen. not entirely sure what that trait is. emo about much bad stuff that happen to him and his driver. wishes to never forget his life with his driver. dirty child killer.very aniime. why is he the only flesh eater whose core turns red?  okay character with decent enough motivation. was confused as to why Malos was following him until the very end. 

Malos - evil bastard. cheesy villain. you can kick his ass many times and he will get back up 3 minutes later and laugh at you while swallowing back the bile of a bitter defeat. is actually a little tragic by the end of the game. dies for no reason. makes morag jealous because he found his purpose in life, though im not sure what that is.  

Akhos - N3RD. probably the most likable member of Torna. had a silly Blade companion who he was really upset died. i like how he was sentimental about his ‘sister’ blade. 

Patroka - most forgettable Torna member. a little bit tsundere. 

Mikhail - grew on me significantly at the end though like Akhos and Patroka his backstory was unceremoniously dumped on your lap at the last second. must be a great fan of Prince Zeke as he’s heard of the term Blade Eater. also why has Mikhail got awesome blade powers and immortality when Zeke hasnt? maybe Mikhail is “possessing” the blade per se.  

Amalthus - emo bitch. stared God in the face and raised his middle finger. hypocritically creates flesh eaters then sends witch hunts out for them. i like that he reminded himself every day about how bad humanity was by doing his best to help people. so despite the praetor being this “benevolent” figure he had somehow manifested a being of pure hatred. 

Theres a lot of other people I cant be assed talking about right now.

Character rating - 9 out of 10. Even though some important characters arent as impactful as they should be, everybody is memorable and I can remember all of their damn names and backstories.  

Gameplay - not particularly amazing. battles are alright, RPG-wise, with orb breaking combos and cancelling being fun to use. but they’re highly limited by the fact you can only control 1 character at a time and there is no Co-op feature. they also take an incredibly long time, even for just one enemy encounter, and there can be unfair Spike damage moves that oneshot you. my most satisfying moment battling ever was when i was fighting Aeon, the final boss, and got a Full break for the first time... I decimated the fucker when he was at 60% health. 

Of course, those are just the battle mechanics. 

The game is full of complex mechanics that do nothing but add tedium. Every single quest in the game forces you to farm for certain “collectibles”, plants that grow in specific unlisted locations that respawn when you fast travel. Many character “affinity” upgrades, which can lock out certain areas of the map, special skills, or unique interactions, also require you to do this shit. A guide is NECESSARY for this.  There’s also the Merc Missions. Little did you know, you will need to complete Merc Missions to reach the end of many blade quests!!!you know what’s FUN? Waiting for a timer to pass after 25 fucking minutes!!!! this game has NO RESPECT FOR YOUR TIME WHATSOEVER. 

the biggest bullshit of all is when you’re locked out of the main story because a specific character on your team hasn’t unlocked level 3 of a specific skill, because there’s no way that you’d be able to unlock that by naturally playing the game as you have to go out of your way to fill the criteria and grind something or other for 20 minutes. 

This makes sidequests absolutely worthless.

The saving grace for the gameplay is probably the customizability of the blades themselves. Not so much the skills you can attach to each blade, but that you can unlock a number of fun characters to use, and they will have their own unique dialogue. The drivers and blades talking during battle also makes a 20 minute fight feel a lot quicker. 

Battle gameplay mechanics: 6 out of 10. Fun but could be better.  Sidequests, crafting, and field skill mechanics : 1 out of 10. Worthless trash that should never have been greenlit. 

Considering that you will be spending so much time on the gameplay, why even bother playing the game at all?

It’s very much the story that pushes the player to move onwards. If this game didn’t have such a fun cast and meaningful plot then I’d probably not have gotten past the first act. 

Music and Environments - Xenoblade Chronicles 2 is filled with vast, beautiful and diverse environments. Unfortunately, there’s not a lot of interactivity with them other than killing monsters or foraging those bloody collectibles, but they’re beautiful enough with a diverse range of monster inhabitants that give them life. The MUSIC is godlike. My favourite track in the game would be the song used for the city in Tantal. Very ominous and beautiful hymn, sung in English. 

Music and environment rating - 8 out of 10.

Localisation - While many sneer at the localisation choices for this game I thought it brought it to life. Granted I have great bias as being a Welsh girl who is familiar with the differences in UK regional dialect, but it felt like the dialogue the characters were saying also had a heavy makeover to fit the new voices... I really don’t believe that Rex’s Japanese voice actor also sounded like a Top Lad, or that Nia’s japanese voice actor sounded as much like she was ready for a valleys bar fight.  However there are some clear obstacles as well - the characters seemed to have no idea of the context of their lines. This is obvious when they shout something for a long time. Rex’s “HIYAAAAAAAAH” and Nia’s “NOOOO MOOOOORE” sound comically off-tone when they are supposed to be epic. It’s the works of someone who read those lines off a script without knowing what was going on. Tora’s actor saying “meh meh” sounds like it was meant to be a COMPLETELY different noise. Morag and Zeke never go off-course, however. I think either they had an advantage with more visuals being completed by the time they were cast, or they just don’t have diverse enough dialogue in the game for it to have been an issue.

Localisation - 7.8/10 too much Meh. 

FINAL THOUGHTS

Xenoblade chronicles 2 is a highly addictive game that pulls you to the finish line with an interesting plot and a cast you just can’t let go of. While Pyra is certainly the weakest link of the characters, and the game has some extremely goofy shonen scenes that it’s hard to take seriously, and oh dear me that’s an awful lot of boob shots, I had a lot of fun powering through it. I’m going to have a tough time letting go of this story and these characters. 

Unfortunately the gameplay itself is not similarly addictive, and becomes more of a chore for you to get to the next cutscene or funny interaction.

Final rating - 6.5 out of 10. While a worthwhile experience, the greatest story in the world cannot save this game from piss-standard design choices. It is probably better to spend your time on a game that doesn’t have anti-fun mechanics. But I’d be hard pressed if any had a cast that touched your hearts quite like that of Xenoblade Chronicles 2. 

[ihatebluesodamnmuch]

12/11/17

1. What’s your middle name? Sara

2. What are you listening to right now? Watching Made in Chelsea

3. What was the last thing you ate? Rice Pudding

4. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Jessy

5. Do you drink? 100% yes

6. Do you smoke? Rarely (socially)

7. What is the first thing you noticed in someone? Usually eyes

8. What is your hair color? Dirty blonde

9. What is your eye color? Greeny, bluey, greyish colour

10. Do you wear contacts/glasses? Nope

11. Dogs or cats? Dogs

12. What’s your favorite animal? Giraffes

13. What’s your favorite television show? Love loads; erm Gossip Girl, Hustle, MiC, Wentworth...

14. What’s your favorite movie? Possibly no longer Devil Wears Prada and maybe now Harry Potter!?

15. What’s your favorite band/singer? Taylor Swift is bae

16. How old are you? Eighteen (nearly nineteen)

17. Do you have a crush on anyone? ahaha no, i love my girlfriend if that counts for something

18. What’s your sexual orientation? Gay asf

19. What’s your favorite color? Pink

20. What was your most embarrassing moment? I dont get embarrassed easily to be honest

21. Do you ever wish you were someone else? Rarely

22. What were you like when you were a kid? Always been quite mature for my age? Also v annoying xo

23. What would your dream house be like? In a city, with my dogs, modern and clean and sleek

24. What last made you laugh? When I was talking with Aaliyah

25. What is your favorite word? Meticulous

26. What is your least favorite word? Moist

27. What turns you on? Girls

28. What turns you off? Boys

29. What is your star sign? Sagittarius

30. What are your favorite books? Jane Eyre is incredible; or of mice and men

31. Do you have any siblings? Lots of sisters

32. Do you like to dance? I cant dance to save my life but i love it still

33. What is your definition of cheating? sexting, kissing, sex...

34. Have you ever cheated on someone? no

35. Do you regret anything? My only regret is having regrets

36. Do you have any phobias? Dont think so!

37. Ever broken any bones? No (touch wood)

38. Ever come close to death? Ahahaha when I got trampled on in a club and would’ve died if the random girls hadn’t have carried me to the ambulance quick enough! Paramedic said 5 minutes longer on that ground I wouldn’t have survived.

39. What is your religion, if any? Athiest

40. Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist? Had a counsellor

41. Are looks important in a relationship? Only partial; all about the personality

42. Are you more like your mom or your dad? Neither I hope haha

43. What is your favorite season? Winter

44. Do you have any tattoos? No

45. Do you have any piercings? Yes!

46. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? 5 including current one, but don’t really count one of them tbh as we never slept together and it lasted a couple of weeks haha

47. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? Erm if fictional characters from TV counts: Franky from Wentworth and Alex from OITNB

48. Who is your celebrity crush? Fuck erm probs Cara Delevingne is my main one

49. Are you a virgin? Nope

50. Do you get jealous easily? Not really

51. What is your favorite type of food? STEAK

52. Do you ever want to get married? I’d love to

53. Who was your first kiss with? My first gf; ell

54. Have you ever been cheated on? Yes

55. What is your idea of the perfect date? Thoughtful dates are the best dates

56. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Extrovert

57. Do you believe in aliens or life on other planets? Im sure there is something just not sure what

58. What talent do you wish you’d been born with? To be able to sing

59. What is your saddest memory? Being outed to my school and mum probs

60. Do you believe in love at first sight? Nah

61. Do you believe in soul mates? Hmm idk really

62. Have you ever dyed your hair? Yeah highlighted it

63. Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you? Yes

64. Would you go against your moral code for money? I dont think I would

65. What are three things most people don’t know about you? Sensitive, don’t trust easily, very careful about what information i give out

66. Who are you jealous of? No one

67. Do you sleep with a stuffed toy? Always have

68. How long was your longest relationship? 3 years

69. Is the glass half empty or half full? Half full

70. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? Confidence

71. Who is your most loyal friend? Tallulah

72. Are you in a relationship? Yes

73. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

She is stunning yet has the best personality. She always gets excited over the littlest of things and I’m fully myself around her.

74. Are you a bad person? I don’t think so!

75. Are you a lover or a fighter? Lover

76. What did you do on your last birthday? Clubbing and got kicked out for being too drunk haha

77. What is your favorite quote and why? She believed she could so she did

78. If your best friend died, what would you do? Devastated 

79. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?

Nothing; everything happens for a reason

80. If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do?

Spend it with the people I love; drinking, eating and doing everything I can

81. What is the strangest dream you’ve ever had? Used to have this nightmare when I was younger each night for years; I would be at my first school and this person would come and try get me whilst I was in lesson and all I would hear would be train track sounds 

82. Are you happier single or in a relationship? Relationship

83. Who were you in a past life? Idk????

84. What is your happiest childhood memory? I dont really know.

85. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Yeah

86. Have you ever had an imaginary friend? No

87. If you were the president, what would you do? Help all the minorities and reverse all the shit Trump has done

88. What is your ideal career? Barrister!

89. What is your political affiliation? Labour

90. Are you conservative or liberal? Liberal

91. Is the male or female body closest to perfection? Females are the best

92. Do you like kissing in public? Only usually do it when I’m drunk, i dont do major public displays ahaha

93. If you could change one thing in the world, what would you change? Discrimination

94. Where would you like to live? Central London I think!

95. Where would you go on your dream vacation? Travel across America

96. Describe yourself in one word. Confident

97. Describe yourself in one sentence. I have no clue what to write this isnt a  CV ahahaha.