#also screw that true selves crap
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Ditching Society's Rules & Getting Real
Let's talk about something real: the madness of modern society and how it messes with our heads. You know what I'm talking about – the pressure to fit in, to follow the crowd, to be someone we're not just to please everyone else.
But here's the thing: deep down, we all know there's more to life than playing by society's rules. We've got layers upon layers of expectations piled on us, telling us how to act, what to believe, and who to be. It's like we're buried under this avalanche of "shoulds" and "musts" that drown out our true selves.
So, how do we break free from this madness? It starts with unbecoming all the crap society wants us to be and getting back to what really matters – being our authentic selves.
Stripping away the fake smiles, the social media personas, the need for constant approval. It's like peeling off layers of an onion until you get to the juicy, real core. Yeah, it's messy. It's uncomfortable. But, its also liberating!
Think about who you were before all this madness started – before you cared about fitting in, before you worried about what others thought of you. Remember the dreams you had, the passions that made your heart race, the quirks that made you, well, you.
Rediscovering that person means saying "screw you" to society's expectations and tuning into your own inner compass. It's about embracing the messy, imperfect, beautifully flawed human being that you are.
Sure, it's not easy. You'll face doubts, fears, and maybe even a few raised eyebrows from friends and family. But every step you take towards authenticity is a step towards freedom – freedom from the suffocating weight of societal norms, freedom to live life on your own terms, freedom to be unapologetically you.
And let's not forget the simple pleasures – the belly laughs with friends, the sunsets that take your breath away, the hobbies that make your soul sing. In a world obsessed with success and status, these little moments of genuine joy are like a soothing balm for the soul.
So, here's to ditching society's rulebook and embracing the beautiful messiness of being human. Here's to unbecoming everything we're not and rediscovering who we truly are. Because in the end, that's what really matters – living authentically, loving wholeheartedly, and embracing the wild ride of life.
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Hold Me By Both Hands: Chapter 5
Disclaimer: I don’t own ML.
Chapter 4 | Chapter 6 | AO3 link
“Nino, Sabrina, and Kim,” Ms Bustier calls.
“What?” Chloé snaps. “Ridiculous! Utterly ridiculous! Everyone knows that Sabrina and I always work together!”
“Well, I thought that it could be fun to assign you group members for this exercise that you might not ordinarily work with,” Ms Bustier says. “Our next group will be Adrien –”
Marinette crosses her fingers.
“– Lila, and Marinette.”
Yes! Finally, Marinette’s put in a group with Adrien! Even the fact that their third member is Lila, who’s shown a definite interest in Adrien, isn’t enough to taint her sheer elation.
“And that leaves Juleka, Max, and Chloé,” Ms Bustier says. “Now, I’ll assign you all your English exercises, and the first group to successfully complete all of them will get a little sweet treat!”
Everyone immediately starts shuffling around to form their groups. Since they’re only sitting a desk apart, Marinette and Adrien wait for Lila to come down to them from the back.
“I’m so happy that I’m working with you two!” Lila says, sliding into Nino’s vacated seat. Drat, why didn’t Marinette think to take that seat first? “And it’s so great to finally talk to you for real, Adrien! I haven’t gotten the chance to introduce myself since last week. I’m Lila!”
“Nice to officially meet you!” Adrien shakes Lila’s hand, then turns to Marinette. “The bench is wide enough for all three of us, Marinette. Why don’t you come sit down here? It’ll be easier to work together that way.”
“What a great idea!” Lila rests her hand on Adrien’s arm. “You’re so considerate, Adrien!”
Adrien’s inviting Marinette to sit with him? And Lila, sure, but with him? Marinette practically floats down to his table, where he shuffles over so that she can slip onto the end of the bench and he’s sandwiched between her and Lila. Oh. Gosh. She’s touching his arm. His warm skin! This is a dream come true!
“Exercise first what?” she babbles. “I mean – what’s our first exercise?”
Adrien pulls his worksheet towards him. “We have to translate these sentences into English.”
“Oh, this’ll be easy!” Lila says. “I studied English at Harvard when we were in America! Of course, they don’t accept children, but one of the professors just took such a liking to me that he simply had to teach me!”
Marinette’s eye twitches. Again with the lies! What’s this girl’s problem? At least Adrien looks just as disbelieving, if only politer about it.
“How about you do this first set of exercises, then?” Adrien says. “Marinette and I can work on translating these English sentences into French in the meantime.”
“Oh!” Lila’s eyes widen. “I’m so sorry, I really would, but I sprained my wrist the other day! You know, when Alya took me to watch the fight against Green Giant! I can’t write in case I make it worse…I’m ever so grateful that I was partnered with you, Adrien!”
“But your wrist was fine just before! And Miraculous Ladybug fixes everything!” Marinette says. No way is Lila getting her claws into Adrien! That niceness last week really had been an act!
“I…didn’t want to ask for help,” Lila sighs, drooping. “I was afraid to inconvenience anyone. But since we have to do these worksheets together, I thought…no, it’s okay. I understand if I’m being too troublesome.”
“That’s not what I said at all!” Marinette resists the urge to slam her forehead into the table.
“Um –” Adrien tries to say.
“In fact, it might be better if I just work by myself,” Lila continues. “You and Adrien seem like such good friends…I’d hate to come between you –”
“I didn’t say that!” Marinette says. “You don’t have to work by yourself!”
“I’m sure Marinette’s just concerned for you and wants to make sure she’s got the information right,” Adrien says with a pacifying smile.
“Oh!” Lila beams. “That’s so considerate of you, Marinette! Would you mind filling out my worksheet for me? Only if you’re okay with it, of course!”
What can Marinette do? If she says yes, Lila wins. But if she says no, she looks like a raging bitch in front of Adrien! Eventually deciding that it’s better in the long run to give Lila this little victory, Marinette pastes on her sweetest smile and pulls Lila’s worksheet towards her.
“I think this sentence says, “I would like to buy a pair of blue pants”,” Adrien says, frowning down at his sheet. “But my professional lessons are in Mandarin, not English, so I’m pretty useless here.”
“You’re not useless!” Marinette says immediately. “You’re pretty – uh, good at anything you put your mind to!”
“Marinette’s right,” Lila says, shifting so that she’s snuggling into Adrien’s side. He automatically leans away and straight into Marinette, whose heart spontaneously combusts in her chest. “Someone as smart as you couldn’t possibly be useless!”
“Um…thanks,” Adrien says. “Marinette, what do you think the next sentence is?”
“Your eyes are forest green,” Marinette sighs. Her insides chill when she realises what she’d just said. “I – ah, I mean – your dress is green!”
“Hey, that’s right!” Adrien writes out the sentence in his gorgeous handwriting. “Good job, Marinette!”
“Yank thou – um, thank you!”
“Marinette is right, though,” Lila says, resting her chin on her ‘un-sprained’ hand. “Your eyes really are such a gorgeous shade of green.”
“Thanks.” Adrien once again shifts away from Lila. “I think this third sentence is –”
“And your hair is so golden!” Lila continues. “Oro come il sole!”
The nerve of this bitch! Can’t she see that Adrien’s clearly uncomfortable with her touching him? And Marinette was here first, so how dare Lila just barge in and –
Marinette freezes. What is she thinking? Why on earth is she treating Adrien like some possession that she’s entitled to? Is she really that…fixated on him? The realisation is like icy water straight to her insides. She’s fighting over a boy! And sure, Lila’s totally a liar, but it’s not like that’s the only reason why Marinette dislikes her…
“Marinette?” Adrien says. Marinette blinks and looks up from her worksheet, where she’s been absently doodling her signature flowers on the side of the paper. “Are you alright?”
“I hope I didn’t upset you in some way!” Lila seems to feel the need to add.
“You honestly didn’t,” Marinette says with a weak smile. “I just…got lost in thought, I guess. English has never been my best subject.”
“Well, it’s lucky that you’ve got me working with you, isn’t it?” Lila says brightly.
“What’s this next sentence, then?” Adrien says with a friendly enough smile. “Marinette and I have each translated one, so it’s your turn.”
“Oh…gosh, I wish I could help, but I think my dyslexia is flaring up!” Lila says. “I’m so sorry, you must think I’m such an awful burden –”
“Not at all!” Marinette says, resisting the urge to slam her head against a brick wall. Or at least the desk. “You’ve been in class for a week and you haven’t told anyone? How have you been coping? Surely you must need help? As the class representative, it’s my duty to take care of these kinds of things!”
“Oh – I wouldn’t want to impose…” Lila says. “But if there was someone who could help me…” She bats her eyelids at Adrien. “Someone really smart…”
“Of course!” Adrien says. Lila’s face lights up, while Marinette tries – and fails – to squash the mild nausea in her gut because no, she’s not a bad person and she won’t sink to the level of some possessive, entitled weirdo! “Max is super smart, so I’m sure he’d help you if you asked!”
Lila’s face falls quicker than a superhero on the Eiffel Tower. “Oh – yes, I suppose, but I don’t know him very well and I wouldn’t want to –”
“Oh, Max is so approachable!” Adrien says. “He wouldn’t mind at all! I’d offer to help you but between my fencing and my Mandarin lessons and everything else, I don’t think I’d have the time. You deserve better than an unreliable tutor.”
Ha. Okay, so Marinette’s trying her best to not be jealous, but it really is satisfying to see the way Lila’s face twists as she tries to suppress her displeasure.
“I appreciate your concern, Adrien,” Lila says with a smile that, to her credit, is pretty well-faked. “I just might ask Max at lunch.”
“Great!” Adrien says, then smooths out his worksheet. “Quick, let’s get these done! I haven’t had sweets in –”
“Finished!” Max slams his worksheet down. How the heck his group finished first, especially with Chloé refusing to lift a finger, is beyond Marinette. All she knows is that the look of disappointment on Adrien’s face simply cannot be allowed to exist. Purely by instinct, she rummages in her purse for one of the cookies that she keeps for Tikki.
“Here!” she says, presenting it to Adrien as Ms Bustier awards Max, Juleka, and Chloé their little wrapped chocolates. “We may not have won, but you still get a sweet treat!”
Adrien’s smile is as bright as the sun when he accepts the cookie. “Thank you, Marinette! Freshly baked?”
“This morning!” Marinette says. Adrien immediately bites into the cookie and moans, and Marinette’s forced to look away to prevent him from seeing her undoubtedly scarlet face.
Man, she’s got some serious thinking to do when she gets home.
.
“You’ve been doing that for half an hour now,” Tikki says as Marinette just lies face-down on her bed, face making a permanent imprint in her pillow. “What’s got you so upset?”
Marinette doesn’t answer at first. It’s odd; she’d thought she’d be a hysterical mess, shrieking and pacing and tearing her hair out as she tries to sort out everything currently battering her brain. Instead, she’s deathly silent, just trying to suffocate herself in her pillow to escape her own mind.
“Nothing…” Marinette rolls onto her side so that she can speak actual words instead of pillow-muffled mumbles. “I’m just completely re-evaluating my life.”
“Is this about class today?” Tikki says. “Lila did seem very –”
“No, it’s not about Lila,” Marinette says. “It’s about me. Seeing how I was acting around Adrien because of Lila…it just made me realise how fixated I can be. I just…” She blinks rapidly to dispel the stinging in her eyes, though she’s unsuccessful. “I feel like so much of what I do is because of Adrien. I entered that game tournament because he did, even if I won fair and square and I genuinely enjoyed it – I always ‘happen’ to be around when he’s doing his photoshoots – Tikki, what normal girl does all this? I even stole his phone because of an embarrassing voicemail!”
“And you only deleted the voicemail,” Tikki says. “You didn’t snoop. It wasn’t right to take his phone in the first place, but a true stalker would have gone through everything to get all the information they could about him! You were scared of being embarrassed, not trying to creep on him.”
“I still took his phone,” Marinette says. “Do I even really like him? Or am I just so wrapped up in this crush I’ve got on him that I don’t even know?”
“Well, what do you know about him?” Tikki says, and oh boy, getting Marinette to talk about Adrien is most definitely a sure-fire way to get her to not shut up.
“I know how much it meant to him to think that the scarf I knitted was from his father,” she says. “I know when it’s Adrien the model smiling and when it’s Adrien Agreste smiling. I know that he likes video games and he feels so lonely because he misses his mother and his father treats him like – like – gah, I can’t even think of the word! I know how much he hates all the public attention he gets and how everyone throws themselves all over him. I’ve seen how uncomfortable he gets when girls cling to him!”
“Does that sound like a stalker?” Tikki says when Marinette pauses for breath. “Or does that sound like someone who cares deeply for their friend, who they happen to have a crush on?”
“But you don’t get it! I was so possessive over him today! Lila was touching him and sure, I was annoyed that he was uncomfortable, because I’m so sick of people grabbing him and treating him like he’s a toy or something, but I was also jealous! I literally thought that she had no right because I was here first! I called her a bitch in my head!”
“Mhm,” Tikki says. “And clearly you’re not a bad person, or you wouldn’t be agonising over this right now.”
Marinette just blinks at her.
“I’m thousands of years old,” Tikki says. “I’ve seen a lot of creepy and bad people, and you’re neither of them! You’re just a normal teenage girl who happens to get enthusiastic about her crush and hates it when people put their hands all over him. If you were really a stalker, you’d have taken credit for that scarf to gain his attention. You wouldn’t have let Manon be in that photoshoot with him. You would have gone through his phone when you had it. You wouldn’t have tried to step down and let Max play in the tournament. You’d constantly be touching him and invading his personal space like Chloé and Lila do. You wouldn’t have gotten the whole class involved in a protest so that he could come back to school! You’ve made mistakes, yes, but you’ve realised that you were wrong, and you tried to better yourself! That’s what makes you a good person, Marinette.”
Marinette can’t help but smile at her tiny friend. “Thanks, Tikki. How do you do that?”
“I’m an ancient, wise being,” Tikki says playfully.
“You got the ancient part right,” Marinette teases. Tikki pokes her tiny tongue out.
“So, what do you plan on doing about your crush?” Tikki says.
“Well, I can’t just forget about my feelings,” Marinette says. “I wish it was that easy.”
“Who says you have to forget about them?” Tikki says. “Chat Noir has feelings for Ladybug –”
“So he claims.”
“– and he never stumbles over his words with you.”
“He’s Chat Noir,” Marinette says. “He’s not awkward, clumsy, hot-mess Marinette.”
“Stop that right now!” Tikki’s azure eyes blaze as she rests her tiny hands on her tiny hips. “Stop putting yourself down, Marinette! Ladybug is smart, confident, talented, brave, and always driven to do the right thing. And you are Ladybug, therefore you’re all of those things too!”
“Only behind the mask.”
“You were chosen to be Ladybug because you’re all of those things,” Tikki says. “Your mask makes it easier for you to openly display those qualities, but you have them even as Marinette. You certainly weren’t behind Ladybug’s mask when you proved yourself to Master Fu.”
“All I did was help him across the road.” Why is Marinette fighting against Tikki’s words so much? Maybe it’s because every time she tries to be confident about herself, she’s smacked back down, whether by Chloé or something else. “Are you saying that he would’ve given you to any old person who helped someone across the road?”
“You didn’t just help him across the road,” Tikki says. “You put your life in danger when no one else would. You saw how everyone froze and stood there! And you sacrificed the macarons your father made when it would have been easy to worry about your own problems and how you were negatively impacted. Master Fu told me all about it when he was informing me of who my holder would be. He saw that you had the potential to be Ladybug, and you proved it when you saved Alya and defeated Stoneheart! Yes, he might have given the earrings to anyone who helped him, but you’re that someone who helped him when it would’ve been easier to look the other way. You’re that one who jumped into action rather than panic, which is essential in a superhero. And you’re the one who’s made Ladybug into who she is. Every Ladybug I’ve ever had is different because it’s the holder who makes the hero, not the other way around.”
Something warm blossoms in Marinette’s chest, and she smiles and draws Tikki in for a hug. “Thank you, Tikki. You do always know what to say.”
“I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t the truth,” Tikki says. “You’re smart, confident, talented, brave, and you always do the right thing because that’s who Marinette Dupain-Cheng is!”
“You’re right!” Marinette says. “I’m Marinette! I can do anything if I put my mind to it!”
“Including talking to Adrien normally!” Tikki says. Marinette promptly wilts.
“Y-Yeah…”
“Remember everything you just told me about Adrien. You don’t act anything like his other fans, and you don’t hang off him like Chloé and Lila do,” Tikki says. “You know things about the true Adrien that only his family and friends really know. I personally don’t think you put him on a pedestal. You’re a teen girl with a crush and when your crush is famous, there’s bound to be at least some influence from his public image. Especially when you’re around other teen girls who are fans.”
Marinette’s eyes sting with tears she tries to hold back, because Tikki is the one of the best things that’s ever happened to her and she doesn’t know what she’d do without her wise little friend. “Thanks, Tikki. But…how do I do this? I can’t just flip a switch! What if I never stop acting like a goof and he never notices me and he falls in love with someone else and –”
“Marinette!” Tikki says loudly, stopping Marinette in her tracks. “Adrien’s your friend. And you don’t have much of a chance with him if you can’t even talk to him, do you? Even if you did become his girlfriend, how could you date someone you can barely talk to?”
“You’re right,” Marinette mumbles. “I should just accept the fact that I’ve got no chance with him.”
“Is it really that important to be his girlfriend?” Tikki says. “Is romance really that much more important than friendship? You and Chat Noir trust each other with your lives and you’re not a couple. And of all the Ladybugs I’ve served, many of them never even kissed their Black Cat, but they still had a friendship as close as the relationship between the ones who did marry each other. Friendship is just as beautiful as romance.”
“I never even thought of it that way,” Marinette says, blinking at her kwami friend. Tikki’s totally right! Alya is easily one of the closest people in her life and there’s nothing romantic between them. Marinette would do anything for Alya. Would that relationship really lose its importance if she ever got together with someone? Would that someone really become more important than Alya purely because of the romance?
“Of course you didn’t, silly,” Tikki says with a small grin. “Humans are so obsessed with romance that I’m not surprised you’d see it as the most important thing ever.”
“Maybe being friends with Adrien isn’t such a bad thing,” Marinette says firmly, although whether she’s trying to convince herself or Tikki, she’s got no idea. “I’ve got more of a chance of having a close relationship with him if I’m his friend rather than stammering and sneaking around to watch him and “conveniently” run into him. And if we do ever get together, at least I can say that it’s built on friendship.”
“Exactly,” Tikki agrees. “You don’t have to stress over trying to get rid of your crush. Just focus on interacting normally with him instead of trying to ask him out, because you always seem to be able to string together more than two words when you’ve forgotten about asking him out. So, how are you going to do this? You enjoyed playing video games with Adrien, didn’t you? Maybe invite him over again!”
“Maybe,” Marinette says, although she’s not sure she’s ready for Adrien to see her true competitive side yet. She hadn’t gone too hard on him last time, since they’d had to work together as a team for the tournament, but there’s a reason her papa teasingly calls her a little princess when she plays multiplayer games and it’s not because of beauty or daintiness.
Her eyes land on the pictures of Adrien plastered across her wall near her computer, and she sighs and heaves herself out of bed. Tikki beams and whizzes over to her as she’s removing the pictures of model Adrien from her wall carefully so that they’re not damaged. Although she probably won’t be putting them back up, it doesn’t hurt to keep them in case she needs them as a reference when she’s designing. And really, Adrien makes the best designing reference.
Okay. Enough, Marinette!
“I’m proud of you, Marinette,” Tikki says as Marinette stashes the pictures away. “It’s super admirable that you can recognise what you need to improve on and how to work on it! That’s exactly what makes you such a great Ladybug.”
“Thanks, Tikki,” Marinette says with a wistful smile at her stack of Adrien modelling pictures. The only photos of Adrien left on her wall are those where he’s either with friends or smiling for a dorky photo: selfies from their phones, silly pictures shared between them and Alya and Nino, even the fun ones that the whole class (minus Chloé and Sabrina) had done together after Juleka had been akumatised. There’s a sense of rightness settling inside her as she examines the photos on her wall that show the real Adrien, happy with his friends, rather than Adrien the model that the world gets to see. In that moment, she knows she’s made the correct choice.
#miraculous ladybug#ml fic#aotq fic#aotq: hold me#marinette dupain-cheng#adrien agreste#lila rossi#anti-lila#ugh#tikki#marinette has some things to think about#also screw that true selves crap
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Fruits Basket - Vol 23
It's the final banquet babyyyy
(i hate how blurry that picture is but my camera just wouldn't fucking focus)(also yeah i colored in the speech bubbles, they were kinda confusing without context and didn't have anything to do with this specific frame)
So everyone's gathered in the main Sohma house, and no one really knows what's going on. They have no idea what to expect. Hiro notes that the grown-ups are "the ones who can't sit still today". Some miscellaneous stuff happens but I'm not sure if it's worth talking about? After the miscellaneous stuff, it is announced that Akito is ready for everyone to see, and out she steps in a kimono (I bet it's red; she'd look great in red, I think) and asks where Shigure is, because he apparently dipped out. Ritsu is in complete awe, does Akito partake in the same hobby he does? No, Ritsu, this is who she is.
There's a brief flashback to the previous book, where Shigure gave her something, and said "I guess you could call it a farewell present." Akito did not take kindly to that at all, and lashed out, accusing him of being the first to abandon her. He asks where she got that idea, he meant that she's finally becoming her own person, rather than the person her father wanted her to be, and his gift was something to commemorate that. Welcome in the new Akito, and all that.
Back to the present, Akito explains that the rest of the Juunishi were able to become their true selves, beyond the curse, and so she decided to as well. She tries to apologize, but she can't-- she knows that won't make up for anything that she did, at all.
It goes back to that memory with Shigure (this chapter is just a series of flashbacks and flashpresents) and he teases her, saying that he didn't know he was so important to her, and Akito insists that wasn't the case, that he was the one that she was most afraid of, the one that strayed the furtherest from her, bond or not. He says he had to keep his cool, be nonchalant, because otherwise he'd explode (ka-blooey). He says that he's childish, and doesn't like getting hurt, he hates losing, and he can't stand sharing things. This causes Akito to basically go Ó///Ò in realization, and he confirms that realization (the realization being that he likes her as well, in case you didn't catch it. It kinda took me a second on first reading, and I'm not exactly explaining this the best), and says that if Akito wants to reject him, now's the time, that if she comes to him again, it'll become a Thing. They'll become a Thing.
Back to the meeting, Akito says that she still wants to live with the Sohma family, because there are still things she feels she needs to do. She still is, at the end of the day, the head of the family, it's her duty (probably). She plans on talking to Ren, which I imagine will go well. After the meeting (I think, I don't think it's before, though timey wimey stuff is difficult), Akito is with Shigure, and he's asking if she wants him to stay at the main Sohma house, and she asks if he's angry about it. The vibe I get from him is "yesn't", honestly, but hey if they're happy, I guess it's fine.
Next chapter!
So there are two exposition characters (I'm sorry but that's really all they are) at school, and one of them sees Kyo. She gets excited, maybe she can go talk to him, and the other thinks he's waiting for Tohru, his girlfriend, to finish up with her tests. The first girl goes, "Whaaa?? When did that happen??", and the second says that it happened shortly after Tohru came back from the hospital. The first girl's hopes and dreams are apparently destroyed, I guess she liked Kyo.
It pans back to Tohru, now finished with her test, and the teacher, Mayu, wishing her a good summer vacation, it'll be her last. She also asks if something happened in the Sohma family, because a certain He seemed a little happier when she saw him yesterday. Tohru took "he" to mean Kyo and Yuki, and was basically like "yeah I guess so". Mayu played it off, yeah yeah those two that's definitely who she meant yeah totally see you next school term byeeee.
At the house (Shigure's house), Kyo, Yuki, and Tohru are talking about the meeting, and how it felt like it came out of nowhere. They were surprised that Tohru already knew about Akito, but she had to pretend she didn't for Akito's privacy (you don't just out people, that's rude). She asks if it was that much of a shock, and Yuki says he's mostly dumbfounded, though there has been a lot going on lately, a lot to think about. Kyo says he feels weird about it, simply because now he knows he's been violent with a woman all this time, but also says something about if Akito was a man, Kyo would be in trouble if there was another guy who liked Tohru. I'm not really sure where he got that idea, but Yuki thought it was pretty funny. It made Tohru realize that the air between Kyo and Yuki had cooled off significantly, and they seemed to be more at ease with each other than they ever had before (i mean in the beginning yuki would sneeze and kyo would be like "and i took that personally", so yeah they've changed a lot). She asked Kyo what had caused that change, and he told her that Yuki beat the crap out of him, and knocked some screws loose, but it was okay. They needed to be loosened.
Later, it seems that Kyo and Tohru went to Kazuma's house, where Kazuma said "I have no regrets. At this point, I'm prepared for death at any time.", because he's happy, y'know? But Tohru and (that other guy whose name completely escapes me wtf) protest at that, saying that you can't say things like that, it's not true! The other whispers to Kazuma that he can't die yet, because when they get married and have kids, he'll be a grandparent, which he seems to like the idea of. He tells Tohru that he eagerly awaits that time, but since Tohru didn't overhear it, she just awkwardly agrees that she also can't wait. (Kyo kinda caught on though)
Izusu comes in, says, "This is stupid, by the way", then walks out before anyone can respond. Tohru follows after her, and Kyo asks what Izusu was saying. Kazuma says that a lot has happened recently, and not everyone is going through the same thing.
Going with Tohru, she finds Izusu in another room, saying that she doesn't get it, how can he (Kyo, presumably) act like nothing's wrong, after all that's happened, and how Tohru can do the same, after she got so hurt?! Those kinds of hurt don't go away easily. Izusu continues, and says that if she had to choose to forgive Akito or not, she wouldn't, because she can't. She doesn't want Akito to apologize, and she can't help but feel like she's doing something wrong, because she can't make herself accept everything and move on. Tohru reassures her that there's nothing wrong with her, she didn't do anything wrong. Izusu wonders if her demeanor will turn Haru away, if it will disappoint him. Tohru says that there's no way that Haru could hate her.
The scene changes to Akito, who is talking to that one old lady who pops up every now and then, but I've never seen her name, who says that Akito went to see Ren again, but heard that she wasn't able to really talk to her. She says it would be faster to chase her out of the house, but it's also possible that Akito complicated things by staying at the house. She continues, saying how it must be nice being young, and being able to change your life so easily. She notes that she was born with the Sohma family, and raised with them, and has lived at the house for sixty years, she couldn't change her life now. Akito says that no one can change every thing, and no one would be asking her to. Maybe all she needs is a helping hand. In the end, the maid simply walks away, but y'know, not everyone wants to change, or feels like they can, it's fine.
In the next chapter, it seems like it's the date with Tohru and Kyo that Uotani and Hanajima decided to tag along with. Kyo is thinking back to that moment when he tore off his bracelet, and how afterward, Tohru picked up all the beads. She put them in a little bowl in her room, next to the picture of her mom. In the moment, he could only watch as she did it, and in all honesty he wouldn't have minded if she had tossed them into a fire, but it also occurred to him that he might regret not having them. As he watched Tohru pick up the beads, he thought of it like she was "protecting both the me of now and the me of the future". Alternatively, and this one is a bit spoopy, she was gathering the memories of the people over the (many, many, many) years that had worn that bracelet. Either way, he realized that loving someone isn't just about loving the person as they currently are, but as they were, and as they will be.
That's what he thinks anyway.
I mentioned the date but I didn't talk about it at all. They went to a zoo, Uotani got excited about seeing elephants, and they went to a place with cats, and the cats did not care either way about Kyo. It was neat. By the end of the day, Tohru went off to use the bathroom, leaving Kyo with Hanajima and Uotani. This is when Hanajima asks Kyo if he's going to take Tohru away with him. She knew the time would come, eventually, when she, Uotani, and Tohru, would part ways, but it still hurts to think about. Uotani says that, despite how they might act, they do like Kyo, even if they think he's a bit of a dumbass (Uotani's words, btw), and it's because they both think he's a good guy. He just has to take care of Tohru, because she's like family to them, so he'd best not fuck up.
When Tohru comes back, Kyo says there's a place that he wants to take Tohru before going home. Can we go see what Yuki's up to first? Okay yeah we're going to do that now, we'll get back to Tohru and Kyo, don't worry.
So Yuki's at Kakeru's place, and it seems that they're talking about their college plans. Apparently Yuki's going to a college pretty far away from where they're currently at, but if they have subjects that he's interested in, it's fine. (I don't think it's ever said what exactly those subjects are. Like, what's his major? Do I really care? Eh. But it's still nice to know. Same thing for Kakeru, what is he doing?) When Yuki says he'll be living on his own, Kakeru asks if he can manage, he doesn't want to go for a visit and see an emaciated Yuki (living on like,, partially-cooked instant ramen noodles, and several scattered half-empty water bottles in a nest of laundry and schoolwork). Yuki is more optimistic, saying he's going to learn by doing (so that means those cups of instant ramen will be completely cooked). Apparently he told Machi about it and she's fine with it, though she would not be fine if she heard Kakeru saying that anyone is "climbing the stairway to adulthood" which honestly I wouldn't be fine with that either, that just sounds stupid.
Komaki asks how Yuki's going to get the money to live somewhere, and Yuki says that he considered asking his parents, but in the end he asked Ayame to help. Ayame was overjoyed to help, and went nuts to find a place that would suit Yuki's needs (Or be the foundation of his "empire", as he phrased it).
When asked about college, Kakeru said he'd go, not because he really wants to, but mostly because people keep telling him to. He was planning on taking over Komaki's family business (they run a laundry service), but he supposes he'll go anyway.
Later, Machi shows up with a package of meat, which Komaki was very excited about. Kakeru trotted out his "stairway to adulthood" line on Machi, and Machi punched him in the face along with the meat, she somehow balanced the meat on her fist to smash into Kakeru's face, much to Komaki's distress (over the meat, not Kakeru).
Anyway, let's go back to Tohru and Kyo.
Kyo took Tohru to the graveyard, and they're standing at the Honda's family tombstone(memorial? thingie? idk), and he says that after he graduates, he wants to leave, because he's spent his whole life up until pretty recently avoiding life, and not letting himself get involved in things. But now that he's a normal person, he wants to live in the world as a normal person, with Tohru, and because of all of this, he wants to go outside of this place that he's been his whole life. Tohru asks where he's planning to go, and he says that Kazuma knows someone with a dojo, but it's really far from where they presently live. He says he's planning on going there first, attending the dojo while he works, and then one day, he'll inherit Kazuma's dojo, using the experience from the first dojo. He hesitates on asking Tohru to break away from everything and everyone she's known to go off with him, but Tohru agrees, and says she wants to go with him, as soon as possible.
There is one thing that Tohru wants to tell Kyo, and it's that she's sure that her mom never hated him. Even if she did say that she would never forgive him, Tohru is confident that she didn't say it out of hate, she knows it. She will go along with Kyo, even if it hurts to leave everyone else, because it would hurt her more to be apart from him (🥺). To end this section, Kyo says that he'll keep the promise he made to Kyoko about Tohru, all that while back, and he'll keep it for his whole life.
(don't mind me i'm just screeching and wheezing simultaneously this shit is too much i'm gonna die)
Onto the next section, it actually has to do with Kyoko and Katsuya. Mostly Kyoko, and her last thoughts before she died. At first, it was weird. What's going on? She can't hear anything, she doesn't even really hurt. Why is it so dark? Oh crap, Tohru! She can't leave yet, she doesn't want to leave Tohru alone, she only just got into high school. She hopes that she loved her enough, and that Tohru knew that, though she wished she could have had more time to love Tohru. She finally understands, though, that leaving people behind and being left behind, they're both so hard. She hopes that someone can be there for Tohru, to protect her, stay with her as she cries.
She then sees Kyo, and recognizes him as the little orange-haired kiddo she used to talk to sometimes, and hopes that even if he forgets about her, that the next time Tohru gets lost, Kyoko wants him to find her, even just once. If he doesn't do that, she'll never forgive him(that's what she meant, out of what he heard, by the way). She hopes that he can somehow take her place, and protect Tohru, and let her be happy, let her be loved by lots of people. Even if she gets lost or makes a mistake, Kyoko wants Tohru to be proud of the life she lived.
Then she wakes up in a place. I don't really know what the place looks like, but I imagine it as a light blue shimmery place, and she can see someone walking towards her, from a distance. Katsuya. Suddenly she's young again, with her long hair and uniform, and she can be with the man she loves again. (🥺😭 dissolves in my tears)
There's a time skip, now Tohru, Yuki, Kyo, Hanajima, and Uotani have graduated, and it soon after shows Tohru and Kyo cleaning up their rooms, and reminiscing about when Tohru first arrived. A lot has changed in that time, it's incredible. Tohru thinks on how she will miss everyone, and all the things that have happened (in the span of a year, right? This all mostly happened within a year or two?). Kyo then says that everyone loves and appreciates her, and it's not like she'll never see any of them again, it's just the start of something new. Then Tohru's stomach grumbles and she gets embarrassed (oh no im hungry how embarrassing 😖)
We then jump to Yuki and Machi, and Yuki gives Machi a key to his new place, because he doesn't want her to think that he's cheating on her (why would she think that???) and then nearly fuckin yeets it out the window when she says that she's not worried that he'd do that. (So he does want her to have trust issues? Yuki, dude, you're confusing me on this) I think that Machi is a year behind Yuki, so she won't be starting college the same time as he will, but she promises that she'll follow after him and be back with him as soon as she can, which is very sweet.
This whole section is mostly jumping from one group of people to the next, so I think I'll try to summarize:
Ritsu and Kagura are talking, it seems that Ritsu is giving Kagura his old kimonos. He's cut his hair shorter, and he mentions how Shigure apparently has quit being an author, much to the relief of his editor, Mitsuru. Kagura asks if Ritsu is going to marry Mitsuru, which leaves him very flustered. Kagura still is hung up on Kyo, and says that she'll see Kyo and Tohru go just to see Kyo. She won't well wish them, because she knows that they'll be happy regardless.
Hiro and Kisa are walking past Shigure's old house, speculating on what is going to happen to it. Hiro says he thinks it will stay as it is for a while, which makes Kisa happy. She hopes that it can stay up and that a new household can live in it. She then starts crying, thinking about Kyo and Tohru leaving, but she says that she will smile when she sees them go, on the next day. Hiro tells her to not be upset over crying, that she can cry as much as she wants, because he knows how much Tohru means to Kisa.
Haru, Izusu, and Momiji are talking, and Haru mentions how Hatori said that eventually, Shigure's gonna get punched in the face, but he never did. Momiji says that it didn't happen because they are all more mature than Shigure. He says as an aside that he doesn't think it should be allowed that Kyo is "taking away" Tohru, because he's being selfish, and that he wants to pinch Kyo. Haru asks why he shouldn't do it tomorrow, and Momiji says that he can't do it in front of Tohru, but this whole thing has given Momiji a new sense of motivation, to find the best girlfriend in the world, and then he'll show her off to Kyo (not the best motivation to find a partner but okay). Izusu pops up by saying that she thinks Tohru should break up with Kyo. I'm not sure why though.
It's shown that Hanajima is working at Kazuma's place as a cook, which is something that Kyo was not pleased to find out, but despite his best efforts, The Guy Who is Also There at the Dojo Whose Name I Cannot Remember can't figure out how to get her to leave. Kazuma says that he will miss Kyo, but he won't worry about him. He's in good hands now.
Uotani is on the phone with Kureno, saying that she'll send his regards to Tohru and Kyo. She also says that she will miss Tohru, but she's also excited for her, for the both of them. She asks if the cherry blossoms are blooming yet, and that she'll have to make her way out to see them (and Kureno) soon.
Ayame and Mine are sending well wishes gifts in the form of big flouncy dresses, for Tohru (who I imagine would be flattered but I doubt she would wear them). Mine says that now that the time has come, she finds this sensation of "children leaving the nest" to be lonely, and Ayame agrees, and says that's exactly why adults put obnoxious amounts of love into cardboard boxes with instant ramen, socks, maid outfits, what have you. (They then say that they're going to send similarly flouncy dresses to Yuki, who I doubt will respond kindly)
Mayu and Hatori are on a date, and he offers to take her with him on a summer vacation to Okinawa. He says he's never been on a "decent" vacation, and that he wants to see the country. Mayu starts cracking up at the idea of Hatori in a swimsuit, then sobers quickly at the idea of herself in one, saying that her figure isn't ideal for a swimsuit (from the way she talked about herself I think she'd be all the rage in early 2000's Western fashion).
Akito says that she's not going to see Tohru and Kyo leave, saying that if she wants to visit Tohru, she'll go and see her, but I imagine it's also for the sake of everyone else that would be there.
Finally, we end with Yuki going to talk to Tohru. He tells her that he's happy about all that has happened, and that he's glad that he has gotten to this point. He says that he was weak, that he couldn't handle being around people, but he wanted to be loved, and be needed. All he ever did, he says, is want. But during that crucial time, Tohru appeared, and fulfilled that wish without even trying. He learned so much from her, and she gave him what he needed, and that's how he is able to be the person he presently is. And he also finally says that she was basically his mother, in a way. He wonders if she was like that to everyone, with how warm, welcome, and gentle she is to everyone she meets. He goes on to say that in this time, when everyone is parting ways, everyone is thinking of Tohru, wondering if she's happy, if she's crying, if she's doing well. Finally, he thanks her, and says that he's so glad that he got to meet her, and that she was there for him, and for all of them. (He also actually says her name, which he's never done, I don't think. It's always been "Honda-san", but never "Tohru", but now he's said it. There's really not an English version of that, as far as I'm aware, but from what I know, it is a pretty significant thing.)
There's a little bit of an epilogue, showing a child walking into a house, asking where Tohru and Kyo are. A woman replies saying, "That's Grandma and Grandpa to you!", but the child pouts and says that Grandma said she could call her by her name, and that they left her behind again on their walk. The woman tells her to not get in the way of their "lovey-dovey alone time", and there's a final establishing shot of Tohru and Kyo walking together, holding hands, with Kyoko's words: "Repeat the good, and the bad. Do it all, and pile on the years."
And that's the end!
I think I'm heartless, because I didn't cry at the end. I wanted to, but I didn't. Overall, I really liked this series! It was a lot of fun to read, a lot of shit goes down, it was a rollercoaster. Thinking back on how the story started, knowing some of the events that occurred before the story started, it all kinda leaves a bitter taste in my mouth (mainly the teasing that Kyo gets about him "training in the mountains", and knowing what was actually going on, it's kinda hard to laugh now 😬). One thing that I was kinda expecting the story to mention, but never did, was Izusu's mark on her back. It looks like some kinda of scar, but I never saw anything addressing it. Now that I think about it, it could have been from a number of things, but it was never said explicitly, which I think is weird. I think I'm gonna leave it here (I'm typing this last portion on my phone at 3:45am so it could be better).
#tohru honda#yuki sohma#kyo sohma#kagura sohma#akito sohma#kureno sohma#shigure sohma#hiro sohma#kisa sohma#izusu sohma#hatsuharu sohma#hatori sohma#momiji sohma#ritsu sohma#hanajima saki#uotani arisa#kyoko honda#katsuya honda#machi kuragi#ayame sohma#kazuma sohma#kakeru kuragi#fruits basket#furuba#fruits basket volume 23#fruits basket vol 23
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July 10, 2019- Amazon prime day concert
July 23, 2019- shares likes with Joe on Instagram, shoots the lover music video, releases the Archer single in the livestream, and gets VMA nominations, does an interview with CBS Sunday morning
First secret session in London Friday August 2nd, 2019
Karlie Kloss turns 27 August 3, 2019
I still believe this was taken during the Australia winter 2016 trip, when Taylor was “26”
August 4th, 2019
Second secret session in Nashville Sunday August 4th, 2019(Over 100 fans were in attendance, apparently, as the event was said to include guests from a Nashville session AND an alleged Rhode Island session. (There are rumors the original Rhode Island session was canceled because the date got leaked))
August 5th, 2019 Nashville
“When we talked seven years ago, everything was going so well for you, and you were very worried that something would go wrong.
Yeah, I kind of knew it would. I felt like I was walking along the sidewalk, knowing eventually the pavement was going to crumble and I was gonna fall through. You can’t keep winning and have people like it. People love “new” so much — they raise you up the flagpole, and you’re waving at the top of the flagpole for a while. And then they’re like, “Wait, this new flag is what we actually love.” They decide something you’re doing is incorrect, that you’re not standing for what you should stand for. You’re a bad example. Then if you keep making music and you survive, and you keep connecting with people, eventually they raise you a little bit up the flagpole again, and then they take you back down, and back up again. And it happens to women more than it happens to men in music.
But you also had good things happen in your life at the same time — that’s part of Reputation.
The moments of my true story on that album are songs like “Delicate,” “New Year’s Day,” “Call It What You Want,” “Dress.” The one-two punch, bait-and-switch of Reputation is that it was actually a love story. It was a love story in amongst chaos. All the weaponized sort of metallic battle anthems were what was going on outside. That was the battle raging on that I could see from the windows, and then there was what was happening inside my world — my newly quiet, cozy world that was happening on my own terms for the first time. . . . It’s weird, because in some of the worst times of my career, and reputation, dare I say, I had some of the most beautiful times — in my quiet life that I chose to have. And I had some of the most incredible memories with the friends I now knew cared about me, even if everyone hated me. The bad stuff was really significant and damaging. But the good stuff will endure. The good lessons — you realize that you can’t just show your life to people….words are my only way of making sense of the world and expressing myself — and now any words I say or write are being twisted against me. People love a hate frenzy. It’s like piranhas. People had so much fun hating me, and they didn’t really need very many reasons to do it. I felt like the situation was pretty hopeless. I wrote a lot of really aggressively bitter poems constantly. I wrote a lot of think pieces that I knew I’d never publish, about what it’s like to feel like you’re in a shame spiral. And I couldn’t figure out how to learn from it. Because I wasn’t sure exactly what I did that was so wrong. That was really hard for me, because I cannot stand it when people can’t take criticism. So I try to self-examine, and even though that’s really hard and hurts a lot sometimes, I really try to understand where people are coming from when they don’t like me. And I completely get why people wouldn’t like me. Because, you know, I’ve had my insecurities say those things — and things 1,000 times worse….But I can’t really respond to someone saying, “You, as a human being, are fake.” And if they say you’re playing the victim, that completely undermines your ability to ever verbalize how you feel unless it’s positive. So, OK, should I just smile all the time and never say anything hurts me? Because that’s really fake. Or should I be real about how I’m feeling and have valid, legitimate responses to things that happened to me in my life? But wait, would that be playing the victim? ...I needed to grow up in many ways. I needed to make boundaries, to figure out what was mine and what was the public’s. That old version of me that shares unfailingly and unblinkingly with a world that is probably not fit to be shared with? I think that’s gone. But it was definitely just, like, a fun moment in the studio with me and Jack [Antonoff] where I wanted to play on the idea of a phone call — because that’s how all of this started, a stupid phone call I shouldn’t have picked up….I don’t think I’ve ever leaned into the old version of myself more creatively than I have on this album, where it’s very, very autobiographical. But also moments of extreme catchiness and moments of extreme personal confession….
But is the idea that as your own life becomes less dramatic, you’ll need to pull ideas from other places?
I don’t feel like that yet. I think I might feel like that possibly when I have a family. If I have a family. [Pauses] I don’t know why I said that! But that’s what I’ve heard from other artists, that they were very protective of their personal life, so they had to draw inspiration from other things. But again, I don’t know why I said that. Because I don’t know how my life is going to go or what I’m going to do. But right now, I feel like it’s easier for me to write than it ever was.
...I’m not scared anymore to say that other things in my career, like how to market an album, are strictly strategic. And I’m sick of women not being able to say that they have strategic business minds — because male artists are allowed to. And so I’m sick and tired of having to pretend like I don’t mastermind my own business. But, it’s a different part of my brain than I use to write. [THIS IS AFTER SHE SAID DBATC WAS INSPIRED BY “SOMEONE GREAT” ON ELLEN]
You’ve been masterminding your business since you were a teenager.
Yeah, but I’ve also tried very hard — and this is one thing I regret — to convince people that I wasn’t the one holding the puppet strings of my marketing existence, or the fact that I sit in a conference room several times a week and come up with these ideas. I felt for a very long time that people don’t want to think of a woman in music who isn’t just a happy, talented accident. We’re all forced to kind of be like, “Aw, shucks, this happened again! We’re still doing well! Aw, that’s so great.” Alex Morgan celebrating scoring a goal at the World Cup and getting shit for it is a perfect example of why we’re not allowed to flaunt or celebrate, or reveal that, like, “Oh, yeah, it was me. I came up with this stuff.” I think it’s really unfair. People love new female artists so much because they’re able to explain that woman’s success. There’s an easy trajectory. Look at the Game of Thrones finale. I specifically really related to Daenerys’ storyline because for me it portrayed that it is a lot easier for a woman to attain power than to maintain it….for me, the times when I felt like I was going insane was when I was trying to maintain my career in the same way that I ascended. It’s easier to get power than to keep it. It’s easier to get acclaim than to keep it. It’s easier to get attention than to keep it….maybe this is a reflection on how we treat women in power, how we are totally going to conspire against them and tear at them until they feel this — this insane shift, where you wonder, like, “What changed?” And I’ve had that happen, like, 60 times in my career where I’m like, “OK, you liked me last year, what changed? I guess I’ll change so I can keep entertaining you guys….the question posed to me is, if you kept trying to do good things, but everyone saw those things in a cynical way and assumed them to be done with bad motivation and bad intent, would you still do good things, even though nothing that you did was looked at as good? And the answer is, yes. Criticism that’s constructive is helpful to my character growth. Baseless criticism is stuff I’ve got to toss out now….I’ve never been to therapy. I talk to my mom a lot, because my mom is the one who’s seen everything. God, it takes so long to download somebody on the last 29 years of my life, and my mom has seen it all. She knows exactly where I’m coming from. And we talk endlessly. There were times when I used to have really, really, really bad days where we would just be on the phone for hours and hours and hours. I’d write something that I wanted to say, and instead of posting it, I’d just read it to her.
the lyric in “Daylight,” the idea of “so many lines that I’ve crossed unforgiven” — it’s a different kind of confession.
I am really glad you liked that line, because that’s something that does bother me, looking back at life and realizing that no matter what, you screw things up. Sometimes there are people that were in your life and they’re not anymore — and there’s nothing you can do about it. You can’t fix it, you can’t change it. I told the fans last night that sometimes on my bad days, I feel like my life is a pile of crap accumulated of only the bad headlines or the bad things that have happened, or the mistakes I’ve made or clichés or rumors or things that people think about me or have thought for the last 15 years. And that was part of the “Look What You Made Me Do” music video, where I had a pile of literal old selves fighting each other. But, yeah, that line is indicative of my anxiety about how in life you can’t get everything right. A lot of times you make the wrong call, make the wrong decision. Say the wrong thing. Hurt people, even if you didn’t mean to. You don’t really know how to fix all of that. When it’s, like, 29 years’ worth. No one gets through it unscathed. No one gets through in one piece. I think that’s a hard thing for a lot of people to grasp. I know it was hard for me, because I kind of grew up thinking, “If I’m nice, and if I try to do the right thing, you know, maybe I can just, like, ace this whole thing.” And it turns out I can’t.
It’s interesting to look at “I Did Something Bad” in this context.
You pointing that out is really interesting because it’s something I’ve had to reconcile within myself in the last couple of years — that sort of ��good” complex. Because from the time I was a kid I’d try to be kind, be a good person. Try really hard. But you get walked all over sometimes. And how do you respond to being walked all over? You can’t just sit there and eat your salad and let it happen. “I Did Something Bad” was about doing something that was so against what I would usually do. ...a couple of years ago I started working on actually just responding to my emotions in a quicker fashion. And it’s really helped with stuff. It’s helped so much because sometimes you get in arguments. But conflict in the moment is so much better than combat after the fact.”(x)
Third secret session in LA Tuesday August 6th, 2019
Also does a livestream announcement
August 10 LA Party with YNTCD and ME! Costars #drunktaylor -purple nails
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Some Of The Best Anime Scenes Ever Are Only A Few Seconds Long
By the time you get to the end of this sentence, another brand-new anime will have come out. True, it might be another unfinished, hilarious mess like My Sister, My Writer, but you won’t know that until you actually watch it. Before you know it, you’ll be spending your entire free time catching up on new releases instead of doing what’s really important, like re-watching Cowboy Bebop. Why don’t anime series include one short scene that could tell you instantly what the whole show is about in just a few short seconds? Well, surprise--they do, and here are the four best of them.
*SPOILERS AHEAD*
4. Eren’s Mother Losing Her Resolve (Attack on Titan)
The terrifying power of Attack on Titan is that it strips its characters of their dignity. The anime is gory, true, but every death in it is made so much worse because it comes at the hands (or, more commonly, the mouths) of naked, human-eating giants that move like drunk toddlers. This way, the anime can torture its characters with primal, humiliating fear. You see this perfectly in Episode 1.
That’s when Carla Jaeger is trapped underneath her house while a nightmare-inducing Smiling Titan approaches her. Ordering her son Eren to run and save himself, Carla tells him for the last time that she loves him, accepting her fate because she knew that at least her child was safe. Well... for like a second. She then flashes back to her family life and, through tears and desperately gagging herself with her hand, she whispers: “Don’t leave me…”
When I got to that scene, I wanted to scream: “MA’AM! THIS WASN’T PART OF THE DEAL!” Carla was supposed to die her quiet, traumatizing death as part of Eren’s standard-issue tragic backstory. With her silent and cowardly (but very human) pleas, though, everything became so much more real. On some level, we know that characters facing death must feel fear, but we don’t like to think about it to preserve the magic of escapism. But this is precisely what Attack on Titan does.
It doesn’t make bad stuff “cool” for us. It makes us confront every ugly aspect of it. I’m convinced that if Hajime Isayama had directed a Batman movie, he’d have made the Waynes’ last words: “I don’t want to die...” And then they’d crap their pants. Because that’s the true face of tragedy and fear, encapsulated perfectly by Carla’s three words.
3. Whitebeard Embracing His Foolish “Son” (One Piece)
The flashy, supersonic fights in One Piece have always been one of the anime’s biggest selling points, like the Luffy vs. Katakuri punch-up. I use it as an example mainly because, whether you read this article when it’s first published or years later, chances are that fight will probably still be going on. But, for all its action, that’s not what One Piece is ultimately about. To find out what that is, we have to look at episode 472.
The episode takes place during Whitebeard’s attempt to rescue Ace from the Navy. It was an epic arc full of action, excitement, and plot twists, the biggest one being when Whitebeard’s subordinate Squard was tricked into betraying everyone and turned his boss into an entrée at a Brazilian steakhouse.
After that happened, you sort of expected Whitebeard to literally break Squard in half. But then… he just hugged him. Not only that, he told him that he forgave his foolish “son” and still loved him. The Whitebeard Pirates always had this thing where the captain was called “father” and everyone else were his “sons” but you never thought it was so… literal.
When you think about it, though, this is what One Piece has been getting at from the get-go: the power of non-biological family. Literally every major character on the show was raised by people they weren’t related to. Luffy and Ace had Dadan. Sanji had Zeff. Nami had Bell-m��re and Nojiko, Tony had Dr. Hiriluk, Robin had the archeologists at the Tree of Knowledge, Franky had Tom, etc.
Still, the message about the importance of family works best with Whitebeard and Squard. See, it’s easy to love your non-biological family members when everyone gets along and, in the case of the Straw Hats, sacrifices their life for you. It’s harder and therefore more powerful when one person unwittingly screws up, but can still know that they’re forgiven and loved. That’s just beautiful. That's One Piece.
2. The Humanoid Typhoon’s Wounds (Trigun)
There aren’t many western anime out there. One might almost think that Japan never had a Wild West or cowboys. But that’s just one reason to appreciate Trigun (or, to call it by its proper name: Gun Gun Gun.) The other reason, of course, is the show’s main character, Vash the Stampede, the Humanoid Typhoon, The Sixty Billion Double-Dollar Man, a gunslinger who can level entire towns… without actually killing anyone there. It’s actually nice to have an action character out there who believes in pacifism, even if it comes easy to them on account of being one of the most powerful people on the planet.
Hey, apropos of nothing, let’s check out a random scene from Episode 13 when Meryl and Milly see Vash getting out of the shower because why not?
Oh… dear. That is… that is just unfortunate. I mean, he sorta looks like a Ken doll that was operated on by Sid from Toy Story while he was going through a Cronenberg phase. Even Frankenstein’s monster is recoiling at the sight of Vash’s body, from the gigantic scars to the missing arm and metal literally bolted to his flesh. But the thing is, every wound tells the story about the high price of pacifism.
Every scar is a reminder of the time when Vash could easily have killed but ended up saving the day with his wits and acting like an idiot. Every mark is a reminder that choosing life will often carry with it a great cost. A cost that Vash paid gladly because, to him, pacifism isn’t just something he believes in when things are easy. Even in the darkest of times, he is going to be himself and stick to his principles. But he doesn’t want to bum everyone out so he ultimately diffuses the situation in a way only he can:
THAT is Trigun.
1. Tsuyu Befriending Habuko (My Hero Academia)
I’ve gone on record saying that I think the world of My Hero Academia is horrifying, but I mainly think so because their world is so young. Their society has accepted people with superpowers (sorry, Quirks) only very recently and although over 80% of the global population has a Quirk, it doesn’t mean they eliminated all prejudice. Just look at My Hero Academia - Training of the Dead, the second OVA that introduced the character of schoolgirl Habuko Mongoose, who has a snake head. And people are afraid of her.
Yeah, she was a bit awkward and she could paralyze you by looking at you, but her awkwardness came from her loneliness caused by social isolation. She was so lonely that she actually started stalking one student, Tsuyu Asui, to be closer to another human. Then one day, while being followed by Habuko, Tsuyu simply turned to Voldermorticia and asked: “Do you want to be friends?”
That’s all it took to completely change the life of this lonely girl while quickly summarizing what My Hero Academia stands for. Their world is at peace thanks to All Might, whose catchphrase is “Plus Ultra”–“Go Beyond.” This doesn’t just apply to going beyond your physical abilities and punching the villains just a little harder. It’s a philosophy that implores us to do more, to be our best selves especially in our everyday lives. That is precisely what Tsuyu did.
She did more. She saw past Habuko’s appearance and gave her a chance. If the world of MHA is to survive, it will be thanks to people like Tsuyu, always going that extra step not just as a superhero but also as a civilian. She is the true embodiment of All Might’s words and, as such, the true heart of My Hero Academia. Let’s hear it for the show’s best girl.
Are there any other scenes that you think sum up your favorite anime? Let us know about them in the comments!
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Cezary writes words on the internet. Follow him on Twitter or check out his two comedy websites.
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36 Questions
Summary: They say all it takes is 36 questions. 36 questions between you and a complete stranger and suddenly you’ll both fall madly in love with each other. 36 agonizingly personal questions that force you to reveal your deepest darkest secrets. Well, that, and 4 minutes of staring into the most devastatingly blue eyes you’ve ever seen.
Rating: Um, mature I guess?
A/N: This was written as a pick-me up for @artistic-writer who had a really awful shitty week. As I’m a procrastinator extraordinaire, it’s now also a very slightly b-day prezzie! I think I missed it by about 2 hours, but technically it’s still today where I am lol. Happy birthday Salem!!!
Thank you @best-left-hook-jones for making this better and for the prompt idea, even if it did come at the dignity of your grad tech!
Also on AO3
36 Questions
There were many things in life that people could describe Emma Swan as: orphan, foster kid, reformed thief, closed-off, even prickly. But the one thing Emma definitely wasn’t was a coward. She hadn’t back down from Chris Palmer when he’d tried to steal her camera in the ninth grade, and she wouldn’t back down from this either.
“You can always call chicken and take the extra shot.”
Ruby had already been three sheets to the wind when Emma arrived to the White Rabbit after work. Taking a job in the library in the evenings to help pay for bills, also helped give Emma a chance to catch up on her school work during the quiet moments, but it really ate into her social life. Not that she had much of one, but she had a few friends.
The White Rabbit wasn’t anything spectacular by any means. It was an average college dive bar, and a place where people could go to get lost, or really really drunk in most cases. The floor was covered in drink slush and the wallpaper was worn and ripped in places. It smelled stale, and there was always some idiot that would try to hit on her or Ruby.
Luckily, tonight Mary Margaret and David had agreed to tag along. Mary Margaret was already attempting to force water down Ruby’s throat, and David was in protection mode, giving death glares to every man that so much as looked at them.
Having skipped lunch, it only took two drinks for Emma to reach the point of pleasantly buzzed. By that time, Ruby had sobered up enough to function without the use of Mary Margaret to keep her upright. Pleasant conversation had drifted into more mature topics, and then, out of nowhere, the dare had been set.
It had been a long standing tradition in the group. At any point in time, any of them could dare one of the others to do something. They only got one dare per month though, so it wasn’t something to be wasted on a frivolous act. As soon as the words “I dare you” fell from Ruby’s lips, Emma knew she was screwed.
Sure, there was always the chicken option. It meant walking around flapping your arms like a chicken as you clucked for 30 seconds straight. It was a fail safe Belle had built in before she’d left for her foreign exchange program. Either way, humiliation was sure to follow.
“I dare you,” the slurred words paused as her eyes scanned the room, “to kiss that guy over there.”
Emma rolled her eyes, knowing Ruby had probably picked out some chubby co-ed or a frat boy with the IQ of a turtle.
“Wait, which one?” Admittedly, Ruby’s finger wasn’t exactly steady.
“That one. The guy in the black leather jacket.”
Emma’s eyes searched through the crowd of people and, like fate, it was as if the heavens had looked down and parted the masses at that exact moment. There he was; sex and leather. Emma had to force herself to breath. Even without catching his gaze, she could tell he had the most hypnotically blue eyes she’d ever seen before, and his hair was artfully tousled, like he’d just finished fucking someone in the bathroom. She could practically feel his lips on hers already, the burn from his scruff on her cheeks, her neck, her thighs.
It was too good to be true. None of them, Ruby included, ever put forth a dare that didn’t result in total humiliation. Emma watched for a moment, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“Are you in or out?”
The goading was the last push she needed. Throwing back the last of her drink, she stood up, throwing her friend a wink before marching towards tall, dark, and gorgeous. But just as she made it to the end of the bar, the other shoe dropped in the form of a blonde bombshell.
Tinkerbelle Greene. Emma’s only real interaction with Tink was from a photography course she’d taken her sophomore year to avoid the foreign language requirement. The short blonde had been a few years older, and had zero inhibitions. For their end of year projects, each student had to submit three self portraits, something that revealed their true selves. Tink’s had all been nude, something every guy in the course responded to. And now she was sitting next him, vying for the same man she was.
Well crap. It was one thing to accept the dare when he was just some random single guy at the bar. She’d never consider the idea that he might already have a girlfriend, or even worse, a wife. Pausing to take stock of the situation, she let her eyes drift to his left hand in search of a wedding ring. Instead, she only found a black glove.
Emma turned back to Ruby, seriously reconsidering, but when Ruby tucked her arms in and started flapping her makeshift wings, Emma’s resolve returned. Stalking up to a bit like a mad woman, she barely managed to acknowledge the absolute rage radiating from Tink as she gripped the lapels of his coat and wrenched him forward.
His lips were softer than she had imagined they would be, and there was a faint trace of rum lingering, until his lips parted at the swipe of her tongue and she nearly drowned in the flavor. She could feel him everywhere, his tongue exploring her mouth, the way one of his hands found purchase on her waist, only after having grazed her ass. The other hand softly tugged on her hair, forcing her head backwards. He stepped closer so that their was no space lingering between their bodies, and had it not been for the catcalls next to them, Emma might have allowed herself to become lost in him.
“Way to go, Emma!”
Hearing her name from a slightly drunk Mary Margaret was all it took to remind her of where she was, and what she was doing. Pulling back, she felt her cheeks redden at the embarrassment of the entertainment they’d just provided the entire bar. Somewhere behind her she heard a huff she was vaguely certain came from Tink, before the sound of high heels retreating started fading away.
“That was-”
Oh God, and he had an accent.
“A one time thing.”
Without any further explanation, Emma pushed lightly against his chest, just enough to disingange herself from his arms, before spinning on her heel and walking back to the table her friends were still sat at.
She didn’t sit back down though. Something felt off. Emma was suddenly dizzy, like her entire world had be spun and turned upside down. She just needed to get home and sleep it off. To pretend like the guy in the black leather jacket didn’t exist, and to somehow forget that a random stranger has just given her the most passionate kiss of her life.
“Ok guys, it’s been real, but I’m out.”
“Really, you do that,” David started as he waved his finger around, “and then just leave like it was nothing?”
“Pretty much.” Emma shrugged, hoping to play off the way her entire body had turned into a puddle at the thought of doing that again. “Besides, I promised Professor Mills that I’d look after her son for a couple of hours in the morning, before Ruby’s thing.”
The ‘thing’ in question was still a mystery to Emma, but when she’d heard that it paid $100 for less than 2 hours of her time, she was in. Plus it helped her friend out with her senior psychology project. A win-win for Emma.
Or it would have been if Emma hadn’t spent the next two hours laying in her bed, unable to sleep with ocean blue eyes running through her mind. Just before she’d left the bar, she’d turned to give her friends a final wave, but instead he’d caught her eye. He’d been watching her, his fingertips resting against his lips, a question in his eyes she couldn’t answer.
In a fit of desperation, Emma took matters into her own hands, quite literally. She could still feel the press of is growing erection against her, and as the vibrations from her toy worked at her core, it was the image of of him above her, pummeling, whispering naughty things in her ear in his lilting accent that finally pushed her over the edge.
Sleep came easily after that.
Looking after Henry was more exhausting than Emma had expected it to be. Granted, with images of blue eyes haunting her dreams, Emma hadn’t slept nearly enough to compete with the energy level of a two year old, but Henry was extra excitable. As it turned out, Henry had found Regina’s secret stash of monthly chocolate and had devoured an entire box of Happy Hippos right before Emma had arrived, and had been running off of pure sugar right up until he crashed five minutes before Regina got home.
Emma didn’t miss the condescending way Regina wished her a good day as she took in the mess in the living room. The day was off to a bang up start and she still had to go be a guinea pig for Ruby.
The psychology building was housed behind the administrative building. Getting in and navigating the maze was easy enough, having spend plenty of afternoons searching for Ruby to grab her share of the grocery money. The lab that Ruby used was on the 3rd floor of the building, with a small window the overlooked the quad behind it. Ruby had explained that they only used the room for certain experiments as many participants often got distracted by everyone milling around outside, and that would ruin the results. For her experiment though, she wanted something with a slightly less clinical feeling.
In the room was a couch with some blankets and a coffee table with unlit candles. All of the other furniture had been removed, and Emma immediately felt her walls begin to rise.
“So,” Emma let the word linger a bit. “What exactly is it that I’m doing here? Because it looks like whatever you have planned is bordering on unethical, or you know, illegal?”
“Em, it’s not like that. Geeze, get your head of if the gutt- What is that on your shirt?”
Emma looked down to see brown stains near the hemline of her cream sweater.
“Uh, I think it’s chocolate. Or at least I’m praying that it’s chocolate. Henry was covered in the stuff when I got to the professor’s house.”
“Well you need to change because it looks like someone shat on you. Not exactly conducive to the study.”
“And what exactly is your study? You’ve been pretty mum about the whole thing.”
“Change first!”
Emma looked around, in a sarcastic response. She hadn’t brought any spare clothes with her and unless Ruby had something stashed away, there wasn’t another option. Unfortunately, Emma had failed to consider the Ruby Lucas had zero inhibitions and gave no fucks about her body. Quickly stripping herself of her scarlet colored knit top, the dangled the garment on her finger, daring Emma to protest.
She didn’t. One thing Emma had learned over the two years that they had lived together was how to pick her battles, and judging by Ruby’s wolfish grin, she knew a war was coming. With a huff, Emma grabbed the bottom of her sweater and pulled it off of her body, throwing it at Ruby. Taking the offered top, Emma struggled to figure out how to put it on so that she wouldn’t get tangled in the twisted straps in the back.
“Killian Jones reporting for duty as orde-”
Emma squealed and immediately spun around trying to hide herself from the door, keeping the top pressed again her chest, her chest that was nearly matching in color.
“Oh, I- Uh- I’ll just wait out in the hall.”
Emma was certain the noise she heard was him bumping into the doorway as his footstep hurriedly left the room. She was mortified. Scrabbling, she finally managed to get Ruby’s top on just in time for Ruby to call him back into the room.
And there he was. The man from the night before, in the bar. She man she’d fantasized about, standing 3 feet in front of her. She wasn’t sure how much of an eyeful she’d given him, but judging by the shade of his ears and the way he was nervously scratching behind one of them, he’d seen plenty.
Well fuck.
Neither of them spoke, and Emma couldn’t help but notice the vivid blue of his eyes had been replaced, only the barest hint of sapphire remaining.
“Killian, this is Emma Swan, my roommate.”
Killian stepped forward, hesitantly stretching his hand out to her.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, lass.”
His hand was rough wrapped around hers, obviously used to manual labor.
“And Emma, this is Killian. He’s in my women’s study class and volunteered to help me out.”
Emma almost thought she was going to get away from more embarrassment, but Ruby wasn’t finished yet. “Or you may remember him from last night. He’s the one whose throat you had your tongue down.”
Emma let out a sound resembling a strangled cat, and Killian didn’t seem to have been faring much better and he coughed in surprise.
“So, if you’ll both take a seat on the couch, we can get started.”
“Started with what, exactly, lass? You were a bit hazy on the details before.”
Well at least Emma wasn’t the only one lost right now.
“Sit.”
Ruby was firm this time and both Emma and Killian elected to sit as far apart from each other as possible, which wasn’t as far away as Emma might have hoped. What was once a spacious couch now felt like a loveseat and she could feel his body heat radiating off of him. The scent of leather and sandalwood danced through the air around her. Even now, in the light of day he was still intoxicating, perhaps even more so now that she could properly see him.
Which is why Emma chose to sit facing straight out instead of turning towards him.
Ruby stood in front of them both, holding what looked like a full package of index cards. The top half were pink while the bottom half blue.
“I don’t want to bore you with the details on what we’re measuring here, but the instructions are fairly straight forward. In my hand, I have a set of questions. You ask each other the questions written on the cards and you must answer honestly. There is no skipping questions.”
Ruby finished with a pointed glare at Emma. Splitting the cards in half, she handed them to both Emma and Killian and started walking to the door.
“I’ll be in the next room and I can see and hear you, but please act as normal as possible.”
With that, she was gone, and Emma found herself stumbling over her words as she tried to read the first questions out loud.
“One. ‘Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?’ You’ve got to be kidding me.”
She heard him little chuckle, but continued to avoid meeting his gaze.
“What’s wrong, love? Not a fan of dinner parties?”
The lilt was just a strong as she remembered it, as Emma found herself unconsciously leaning towards him as he spoke, the lust filled fantasies of him jumped back into her brain.
“Love?”
God. How long had she been day dreaming?
“Not your love. And these questions are stupid.”
“Emma Swan!” Ruby’s voice rang through an intercom somewhere in the room. “The instructions said to answer the questions. The did not say to argue their purpose.”
Felling a mix between annoyed and properly chastised, Emma felt her walls climbing.
“How about I start then, Swan? I’d have to go with my brother.”
“Seriously? You can eat with anyone in the world, even supermodels, and you go with your brother? A man you’ve probably seen everyday of your life?”
She chanced a look at him and saw a storm brewing behind his eyes as he clenched his jaw.
“Aye, your right. I did see him nearly everyday of my life,” he paused for a second, “right up until he died four years ago. I’d give anything to share one last meal with him.”
Fuck.
Not knowing how to respond, Emma decided to press on. She didn’t normally ‘do’ people, and definitely didn’t ‘do’ feelings. Especially not with greek god level strangers that she once managed to jump in a bar, only to make a complete ass of herself twice later on.
“Arthur Koehler.”
“Excuse me?”
“Arthur Koehler. He was one of the pioneers in criminal forensics and actually responsible for catching the guy that kidnapped and killed the Lindbergh baby. He solved the whole case just using a sample of wood, tracking down where the wood had been harvested, milled, and sold even.”
She looked over to see Killian giving her the most quizzical of looks.
“Criminal justice major,” she said, hoping somehow that would explain her fascination with murder.
Killian nodded along before reading out his own card.
“Number two: ‘Would you like to be famous? In what way’?”
The second question was easier, both answering that they’d each be content avoiding the limelight.
The third question had Emma nearly giddy as Killian responded.
Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
He hadn’t actually answered - not with words, anyways - but when his cheeks filled with a beautiful shade of rose, Emma knew immediately that the answer was ‘yes’.
“Oh my god. You totally do that don’t you!”
The questions became easier as they went on. There was an odd sense of comradery in having to spill your guts with a complete stranger, even if looking at him made Emma’s stomach do somersaults. It wasn’t until twenty minutes later that the questions started getting more personal, making Emma uncomfortable. If it weren’t for her loyalty to Ruby, she’d have gotten up and left.
“If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?”
Emma didn’t hesitate. “Body.”
She watched as Killian’s head tilted to the side, obviously surprised by her answer.
“I’m not vain or superficial or anything. It’s just, sometimes it might not feel like the worst thing to forget parts of your life.”
Parts like the ex who tried to frame her for theft, or the guy who cheated on her. Parts like the parents who dumped her on the side of the road. Parts like being bounced around from one hellish foster home to the next.
Killian didn’t seem to need her to explain though. Somehow, he just got it, like he could read her. She was an open book to him. His hand moved to rest over hers, and had Ruby not come in at that precise moment, she probably would have found herself in his lap. She’d allowed herself to get so wrapped up that she forgot where she was, or that she didn’t know him.
She jerked her hand back as Ruby informed them they’d have a five minute break. She took the time to wash her face off in the bathroom and recompose herself.
It wasn’t enough. Immediately after the break, the questions got even harder.
If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
How do you feel about your relationship with your mother.
Emma could sense Killian’s hesitation each time he had to ask her a question, especially after she was forced to tell him about her past in excruciating detail. Each new detail she had to give him felt like a knife to the heart. For his part, he hadn’t had the picture perfect life either. His mother had died of cancer when he was seven, then his father took off in the middle of the night when he was twelve. But through it all, he’d had his brother. Emma hadn’t had anyone.
Ruby gave them another break after the second set of questions, and this time Emma chose not to leave the room. There was something calming about Killian’s presence, and although she’d never see him again after the experiment was over, the irony of it not lost on her, she wasn’t ready to give him up just yet.
So for the five minute break, they sat together side by side, thighs brushed up against each other. On more than one occasion his hand had found its way to her leg in an attempt to soothe her. Emma found herself surprised each time he did it, as she never felt the sense to brush him off like she had so many guys before him. Affection wasn’t something she found comforting in a man usually.
Ruby warned them that the final set of questions would push them even more. They’d have to look even deeper into themselves and reveal stuff they’d both kept hidden deep down.
If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
Emma had never felt so alone in her life. Before, she’d always told herself that if she didn’t let people in, she couldn’t be hurt by them, but as the questions continued, she realized that one day she would die, bitter and alone, and she’d only have herself to blame. It was a hard realization.
She hadn’t even noticed the way she’d drifted into Killian, resting her head on his chest as his arms wrapped around her. At least not until Ruby came in again and gave them the final instructions.
Four minutes. They’d have to stare into each other’s eyes for four minutes. No talking. No moving. No looking away. Just four minutes of getting lost in his eyes as she thought back over everything she had told him, and all of the things he shared as well.
He was studying marine engineering so he could build boats after graduation. He had his heart broken by a woman who didn’t tell him she was married until he’d proposed to her. He’d fled England to escape the memories of Milah and Liam. He was kind and loyal. He’d even sang to her in his angelic voice.
And as she stared into his eyes, all she could think about was what it would be like to give him a chance. To wonder if he was worth lowering her walls for. To wonder what could have happened between them if she wasn’t so damn broken inside.
“And that’s it. You guys are done.”
She wasn’t sure what to say or do, so out of instinct the wall rose once more, and Emma left, running away before anyone could stop her. She hadn’t meant to let anyone in, and she was terrified of the fact that she wanted him for something more than just one night. She wanted forever.
When Ruby returned to their apartment, it was hours later. Emma was slightly furious with her for roping her into something she knew was going to be so emotionally draining. They argued for what felt like ages. Emma had kept everything bottled up so tightly for years, that she didn’t know how to close the dam again now that it had been opened. They were barely even on speaking terms when they parted ways to go to bed that night, and when Emma woke again it was late in the morning to an empty apartment.
She had cried herself to sleep and the exhaustion of it all had lingered. Rolling out of bed, she started for the kitchen, but stopped short when she saw an envelope that had been slipped under her door. She didn’t recognize the looped handwriting, but there had only even been one person who called her Swan.
Dear Emma,
Please don’t be too cross with Ruby. This is actually my fault, you see. I’ve noticed you on more than one occasion with the lady Lucas, and having fancied you, I asked her to introduce us. She warned me that your heart would not easily be won, and I fear I may have pushed her too hard as a result. I hadn’t realized the purpose of Ruby’s study until we were half way through it and it was too late to back out. I never meant for any harm to come to you. Please accept my sincerest apologies.
Killian Jones.
It took Emma three days to muster up the courage to find him. Over those three days, thoughts of him had invaded every part of her being. She could still smell him on the top Ruby had loaned her. She could still feel his scruff against her cheek. And worst of all, she could see the way his eyes nearly pooled as she told him about her pathetic past.
It took some searching and some internet stalking, but she had figured out his favorite place was a small little harbor on the outside of town. He’d checked-in to a tiny seaside restaurant about a dozen times the previous month, and posted multiple pictures from the dock outside.
He was sitting alone on a bench overlooking the water. The sun was beginning to set, casting the sky in colors of pink and orange. It was a moment her mind wanted to capture for some reason.
“Mind if I sit?”
If she’d startled him, he gave no indication. He only gesture to the open spot next to him. They sat together, silently taking in the sunset until only the barest hint of a golden halo crested the sky above the water.
“So what was the purpose of the experiment?”
It wasn’t a perfect opening line, but it was safer than blurting out how much she missed him when she hardly even knew him.
“To fall in love.”
There was a pause that seemed to stretch to the end of time.
“It’s this thing I read about in a newspaper. Someone created this list of questions that are so deep and meaningful, that when two strangers answer them to each other, they’re supposed to form a bond. Some people argue that it only causes you to feel affection for the other person, but other believe that you’ll fall in love.”
There was another pause as the last hint of light dipped below the water.
“And did you?”
She felt him stiffen next to her.
“No.” She felt her heart beginning to crack. “No, I promise, I didn’t know that’s what Ruby’s experiment was about until it was too late-”
She cut him off, grabbing his hand in a moment of courage.
“I meant, did you fall in love?”
His tongue came out to wet his bottom lip as he stared out at the water before them.
“I felt affection for you the moment I first saw you. You were amused at something Ruby had said and your laugh was like music to my ears. But I think-” He turned to look her in the eyes. “I think I fell in love you the moment you kissed me. I felt something that I’ll never be able to explain, but I knew, Emma, that I only ever wanted to kiss you from then on out.”
She couldn’t say anything back. She couldn’t tell him that she’d fallen for him over the course of thirty six questions and four minutes. Her walls were still too high, but for the first time ever, she felt ready to start pulling them down, brick by brick. So when she kissed him again, it was to show him all of the things she couldn’t say just yet. It was to show him that she loved him too.
#36 questions#wellhellotragic#happy belated bday Salem#I can't write fluff#cs ff#thanks for eating the cut line tumblr
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Gainax Retrospective Review 3: FLCL...drugs?
Everyone has a different way of handling depression. Some people handle depression through singing, some through working, some through alcohol and some use...sadder methods. In the case of artists, we use our work to get through this rough patch in life, usually working out our issues through the work. Sometimes we get something great out of it like The Starry Sky by Van Gough and sometimes we get something that could have been great but was bogged down by a deteriorating mental state like our last subject, Neon Genesis Evangelion. And then you get something so out of left field that defining it’s quality is in and of itself a challenge.
That is the case of FLCL. Released in the year 2000, FLCL is a six episode OVA made by Studio Gainax and was their first work after completing the massive storm of angst, sorrow and hate that was End of Evangelion. The anime was rumored to made as a sort of pick me up from EoE’s shitstorm and this ends up manifesting in the show as a driving force behind the anime that results in the show being the exact opposite of NGE. However, by the Horseshoe Theory, this makes FLCL have a similar feel to NGE just with different reactions. Whereas NGE was nonsensical because the anime was too serious, FLCL was nonsensical because the anime never once took itself seriously. NGE’s artstyle was erratic due to budgetary issues, FLCL was erratic because of the writing. NGE was a complete mind screw revolving around sorrow, FLCL was a complete mind screw revolving around joy. This happens much more in the specifics so let’s move on.
FLCL centers around the exploits of Natoa, a twelve year old who is obsessed with acting maturely and thus acts rather short tempered and stressed due to the wackiness of the people around him. This only gets worse once he meets an absolute mind fuck of a woman named Haruko Haruno, a supposed alien that ran him over with a Vespia, gave him 3-D mouth to mouth and hit him on the head with reved up guitar. Now he has phallic horns growing out of his head that form into monsters whenever he gets emotional, particularly when he has “fooly cooly” thoughts.
... Yeah, the plot is all over the damn place. Befitting the series’ erratic and hyper atmosphere, the show doesn’t really have a clear focus in the story. The first episode is Natoa dealing with Haruko as she keeps bugging him, the second is Natoa dealing with his older brother’s high school girlfriend Mamimi and the third episode is him hanging out with a female classmate named Ninimori. Episode 4 does give us the man who would help focus the plot onto Haruko and what she wants but the anime is clearly more interested in the themes of the story as well as being as weird as possible so let’s move on.
One of FLCL’s two themes is all about sex...and by that I mean sexual attraction and sexual feelings. FLCL itself is supposed to be slang for sex noises (I say suppose because no one knows what the hell FLCL actually is and even with the upcoming seasons I doubt we ever will.) This is constantly seen throughout the series as Naota, in his attempt to be mature, struggles with accepting these new and weird feelings in him, manifested through the said phallic objects that come out of his head. It’s also shown that Naota has a very childish look on sex as he actively avoids it and thinks that kissing a girl will make him mature. This is further reinforced by both Mamimi and Haruko’s advances on him...gross. And by the fact that most people in the show are obsessed with sex. It’s all about accepting that aspect of life and going with it. Neon Genesis Evangelion looked at the more psychological aspect of this while FLCL seems to tackle the more physical aspect of this and objectively they both do an alright but flawed job as both can get caught up in their respective attitudes to actually get the point across fully (NGE in it’s depression and FLCL in it’s insanity.)
The other theme of FLCL is the mass people wear and how unhappy it makes them. Naota wears a mask of maturity but all it does is isolate him from his peers and make his life miserable. Mamimi wears a mask of sanity but never gets any better. Ninimori wears a mask of maturity too and it actively hurts her as well. Even Haruko wears a mask and in the end she doesn’t get what she wants. It’s only the people that act like themselves, their crazy, illogical, stupid selves that are happy and comfortable The best example of this is actually Naota’s father Kamona, who acts very childish and silly and petty throughout the show but is the only one who actually ahs high spirits. In the end, the characters learn to stop wearing a mask and live how they should, growing in the process. Again, this is yet another thing that it has in common with NGE as it had an analysis of people’s psychology which involved masks and defense mechanism. I’d argue that FLCL’s message is more healthy as it revolves around overcoming this rather than just looking at it but NGE had a much greater analysis of it (even if the analysis was one sided.)
And finally we take a look at the humor. The humor in FLCL is rather crass and dependent on the watcher to be knowledgeable about classic anime if not that then Gainax anime in general as there are a ton of in jokes. FLCL’s humor is also based on taking the viewer by surprise through sheer insanity so if you happen to be familiar to this then you might see the jokes coming. For everyone else, it’s a weird, wild and fun as hell ride.
Moving onto the characters we’ll be analyzing four: Naota, Mamimi, Haruko and Kamona. First up to bat is Naota. Naota, as said before, is a twelve year old trying to act like he’s sixty nine or something, constantly frustrated and annoyed by the wacky antics of his hometown as he childishly insists that everything is ordinary. He wants to be mature because of his father’s immaturity and his brotehr’s perceived maturity but is often misguided in these senses as Naota confuses pessimism with maturity, looking at everything in a negative light and bottling up his emotions and feelings. The story rightfully treats this as wrong and shows the damage it can do as Naota is only seen improving as he lets himself go and accept what is happening around him. As a comparison to Shinji and Noriko, Naota does get more clear development than Shinji but he doesn’t really suffer enough for his development to have as much of an impact as Noriko nor is his problems that complex like SHinji or Noriko thus while Natoa does develop he is an all around less interesting character.
Second base is stolen by Haruko Haruno. Wacky as hell, more flirtatious than a succubus, not lacking in the looks department and her actual knowledge ranging from below to above average, Haruko is the essence of the show i.e. absolute insanity. Haruko is always gleeful and hyper even as she is causing destruction on such a massive scale most Shonen villians are taking notes, her wacky antics are just as likely to harm Naota as well as help him. There is this constant mystery to her that makes the pink haired woman completely unpredictable as you never know if she’s going to make a joke, sexual harrasess someone, taunt someone or kill someone with the variations in between. The only thing you can pinpoint about Haruko is that she is far from heroic. Her actions cause massive destruction and would probably kill people if everyone wasn’t made of the same crap as Looney Toons characters and the amount of property damage she has caused can be measured in the tens of millions. And this is Haruko at her best. At her worst she is a complete sociopath that doesn’t care about anyone but herself and uses everyone else as pawns in her game. This makes her an incredibly fun character to watch and she does have her more interesting moments when she lets out her more sociopathic side but unlike Naota Haruko never develops as a character. Even her sociopathy is just the logical conclusion of her insanity and actions so anyone who knows this came off the heels of NGE can see this coming. Since she acts as a mentor figure...I think, the best example to compare to would be Kazumi or Misato and while she is a definite improvement over Misato as she does help Naota even as she is trying to harm him, her personality is far too different to act as a proper comparison to Kazumi and acts more to see what would happen if you flipped her character around.
Third base belongs to Mamimi, the high school girl friend of Naota’s big brother and a constant source of frustration, confusion and just weirdness for Naota. Although she starts out innocent enough when she is just flirting with Naota, events in the story show that Mamimi is not well in the head, being completely obsessed with Naota’s brother to the point she calls anything she gets attached to “Taku-Kun” (Her nickname for his brother) and also causing massive destruction for the city due to her hatred for the city. The more Mamimi puts on her mask of sanity, the deeper and deeper she falls into the rabbit hole of her mind and likewise the less and less prominent in the story she becomes. Eventually she does get better due to being inspired by Naota’s growth but we never directly see it. Amongst a sea of wacky individuals, she just doesn’t stand out all that much.
And finally we take a look at Kamona, Naota’s father. Eccentric, childish, weird and just out of this world, Kamona is the main reason why Naota tried his hardest to act as grown up as possible as his father is a weird man child. In fact, he’s such a man that he once changed the entire artstyle of the show into manga form, shot his son with a pistol like he was swatting a fly, pretended he was from Nazi Germany for a war game over having sex with Haruko, once acted as a massage for Haruko and have I mentioned that Kamona is suppose to be a stand in for Hideaki Anno yet? If this is true, it explains a lot about the hidden depths of Kamona’s character as he is the embodiment of FLCL’s theme of being yourself as while he is childish and wild, he’s also one of the few consistently happy characters in the show, showing that he knows that pretending to be something he’s not will just lead to despair and constantly tries to get his son to act his age. The man is also surprisingly smart since as smart as Naota acts, Kamona is the one who is able to read people near flawlessly. He knew that Mamimi was homeless just from her shopping habits, he knew that Ninimori wasn’t fond of him from just a glance and he knows enough about his son that he trusts Naota when eh goes missing, knowing he’s just sorting things out. It’s also implied that he understands Evangelion and that alone earns him a shit ton of points in my book. In comparison he acts as the Coach Ohta of FLCL and he does that job surprisingly well due to his ability to read people, his observations and setting the tone of the series
Next up to dissect is the audio. The music used in FLCL is very great, jsing some very well crafted rock music to capture the essence of the wacky and crazy world, even the more emotional moments. Two of my favorite tracks are Shooting Star, the ending theme which sounds like it was made to dance to and I Think I Can which is a heartpoundingly awesome music used to company the final episode of the original OVA that captures the feeling of the ending perfectly. The voice acting on the other hand is amazing. Whereas Evangelion has on of the worst dubs I have heard with screechy voices and monotone acting by many, FLCL’s voice actors manage to capture the heart of the characters in a time where good dubs can be counted on one hand. Naota’s voice actor manages to be both bored and childish, Haruko’s voice actress can go from wacky to scary on a dime and matches her energy. Mamimi’s voice actress captures her childish but slightly off voice and Kamona captures a wacky but smart adult excellently. FLCL was one of the first examples of a good dub and it’s definitely worth a watch.
And finally there’s the art and animation. Where’s Evangelion’s art followed a “simplistic but eye catching and consistant” style, FLCL goes for a “High detail, high drop” style in which serious moments have a lot of detail and are beautifully drawn but the more humorous moments have the art devolve into this super simple, off model...thing that catches every viewer off guard. One minute Naota’s drawn super realistically, the next his jaw is stretching to the size of his body. And honestly it works very well to the show’s advantage as it revels in it’s insanity and these sudden jarring shifts in art, as well as the music, make for some very funny scenes and I believe this style of art would latter e adopted by Studio Trigger to circumvent budgetary problems. But the art shifts don’t stop there as FLCL experimented in several styles at the time, one being 3D animation, another being a pseudo-manga style and once it turned into South Park...No, I am not high. These wacky art shifts again are just an extension of the anime’s insanity. And animation goes the same root as it can go from smooth and fluid to choppy and paper like, again another thing that makes me think FLCL is the prototype Trigger anime. In comparison to NGE and GunBuster the animation definitely improved.
All in all, is FLCL better than NGE? Objectively...no. They’re both the same level of objective quality. While NGE was very frustrating with some of the characters, the pacing was alright and definitely good for the time, the themes were a nice idea and the show had more focus. FLCL has some better characters, better animation and more stuff to enjoy but it’s themes are buried underneath the jokes and the plot is a complete cluster fuck. In short: FLCL seems to have GunBuster’s heart and over the topness but NGE got the intelligence and the themes, thus making the two halves of the same coin, polar opposites but also similar in many way sand equals. If only Gainax had mixed the two together then they would have a chance of beating GunBuster.
And that was FLCL: A different but objectively equal experience to NGE. (Not to say FLCL is bad: NGE is just better than I gave credit for.) Next tiem it seems like Granny’s getting read to kick some ass as we will take a look at Gainax’s 25 year anniversary special: GunBuster’s Sequel Diebuster!
Prologue
GunBuster Review
Evangelion Review
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