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danthropologie · 2 years ago

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In your opinion, which driver is the most baby waby itsy bitsy cutie patootie and why?

let's do a full ranking from least to most just because:

20. lance- he's the #1 baby waby to his dad if that counts for anything (it doesn't)

19. nando- literal war criminal. agent of chaos. absolutely not.

18. checo- straight-laced, catholic, father of three. just Some Guy. basically the furthest you could get from baby waby

17. george - you know how in arrested development, the slogan of the alliance of magicians is 'we demand to be taken seriously'? that's george

16. guanyu- too busy serving angles, serving cunt, and being That Bitch 24/7

15. esteban- very cute, very sweet smile, and 'estie bestie' is literally the babiest nickname a person could possibly have, but i'm lowkey convinced that this man holds secret hidden darkness underneath. he's a war criminal lying in wait and i cannot trust him i'm sorry

14. pierre- secretly would love a bit of babying but he'd NEVER admit to it, and instead would probably just give you a death glare and avoid you for the rest of time if you dared even utter the words 'baby waby itsy bitsy cutie patootie' or any variation thereof around him

13. carlos- generally not baby waby because he's too much of a thirst trapping thot to be put in that category, but sometimes the baby jumps out. usually when he's lovingly bullying someone (charles)

12. lando- inherently baby waby in the youngest brother energy he's constantly exuding, but ONLY wants to be babied when it suits him (aka when it personally benefits him). any other time, he absolutely HATES it, gets pissed off when anyone even alludes to him being young, and is very much 'i'm NOT a baby, i'm a big boy!!' type of energy

11. max- less baby waby and more just flat out baby (affectionately derogatory). says what he thinks without much consideration for others, whines and complains about everything all the time, will laugh at even the stupidest of jokes, knows baby shark by heart, etc

10. kevin- former war criminal and furthest you could get from baby waby, but has since been reformed after becoming a dad and getting his seat back

9. seb- 50/50 could go either way. he's a dad and has dad energy (and is also a little bit of a bastard), but sometimes he gets in silly goofy moods and takes the FIA scooter for a joy run or wears his underwear on the outside of his pants. also goes really fucking hard for bees and loves riding his silly little bike, which is demonstrably baby energy

8. val- baby waby but not necessarily in the traditional sense as much as the 'the clear wag in his relationship and more than comfortable in that position' sense

7. yuki- you might expect that because he's small and cute and loves food that he would be higher on the baby waby scale, but he's shown a bit of a propensity for deviousness and general trickster behavior, especially when it comes to convincing others of his baby waby status, which knocks him down a few places overall

6. nicky- if nothing else he's MY baby waby. just having a good time and trying his best, even if his best is a little bit pathetic most of the time

5. charles- just look at him. those big wet eyes, the ever-present stress acne, the way the ferrari marketing team treats him like their personal marionette doll and he just goes along with it. baby waby.

4. lewis- the pigtails, the heart shaped jewelry, the monochromatic and coordinated outfits, the instagram account for roscoe that he posts on AS ROSCOE and then comments on as himself...i mean, cmon

3. alex- sweetest, softest boy you'll ever meet. see also: albon pets and his lavender albon pets helmet 🤧

2. mick- watch the delight on this man's face as he pets a dog and tell yourself he's not baby waby, you can't

1. daniel- yes i'm probably biased but he's also LITERALLY doing it to himself, i don't know what to tell you

#i will not be taking comments or concerns at this time thank you #f1 #answered #anonymous

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contentconsumer · 5 years ago

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Dating Stiles Stilinski would include...

a/n: i really enjoyed writing these! Find my masterlist here, my ships for teen wolf are open and you can read my requirement here, requests are also open (prompt list here) key: Y/N - your name, Y/F/N - your friends name, Y/B/F/N - your best friends name word count: 876 pairing: stiles stilinski x reader warnings: n/a summary: once again pretty self-explanatory requested?: Yes 'dating stiles would include?' - anon

• Movie nights every Friday including popcorn etc... It's almost a tradition when there isn't something supernatural popping up • Reassuring him when he feels bad about being human • HUGS. Like all the time, any situation, he just loves hugging you and wrapping his arms around you and resting his chin on your head • Rides in Roscoe all the time ○ Like you're passenger all the time ○ It gets to Scott - "She never used to be passenger, I was" "Yes Scott but that was before I even thought I would get a girlfriend" • Kissing his nose and vis versa • Running away from bad guys together ○ Like classic sliding down the hallways of Beacon Hills high away from something trying to kill you • Helping him with panic attacks

• Matching his sarcasm with your own • Always being in petty arguments ○ "You're wrong." "Y/N I refuse to believe you're right" "What are you arguing about today?" "How many fish are in the ocean" • Him being able to make you laugh no matter what • Sticking with him through thick and thin • Staying up to ridiculous hours of the morning just to research supernatural things • Sheriff Stilinski trusting you ○ "Oh and Y/N there is 20 dollars for pizza when you're hungry. Remember you're in charge." "What? Why is Y/N in charge? I'm your son. Your only child" "She's more trustworthy what can I say" • That being said Sheriff always walking in on you two • Coach making jokes about you being out of his league • Helping each other study which normally ends with you trying to explain to Stiles what highlighter means what for the FIFTH TIME THAT NIGHT ALONE • Laughing at inappropriate moments • Falling asleep before him always and him liking to watch you sleep • Has the ability to calm you down in any situation, especially regarding school/exams • Looking after each other • Him letting you drive ○ But will stare at you the whole time and mutter "Hands at 10 and 2" every few minutes • Being able to communicate through facial expressions only • Quoting vines • Accidental injuries all the time ○ "What is that?" "Nosebleed sorry babe" ○ "You just headbutted me" ○ "Ow Stiles!" "Sorry I didn't realise that hair was still attached to your head" • Him always leaning on your hair and then you go to move and being dragged back down by your hair • Cute nicknames • Making other people jealous of your relationship • Him knowing your food/drink order for ANYWHERE • Him being able to pick up any change in your behaviour ○ "You're tired go to bed." "Hmmm?" "You're squinting at your laptop. That means you're tired, go to bed" ○ "Why are you mad?" "What? Stiles, I'm not mad" "You're clenching your left fist. You're mad, why?" "Fine, okay so basically..." • He asks about your day everyday • Smiling at each other when the other isn't looking • "You really love her huh?" "Yeah man I can't loose her" • Tickle/play fights • Getting drunk together • Sleeping in the jeep • You have fell out the car more times than you can remember because why is it so high off the ground and "It has not always been that far off the ground" • This boy will call you pretty at any chance he gets • Sleepovers are a must • Matching clothes and pjs CONSTANTLY • Him twirling you under his arm at any opportunity • He is genuinely shocked when you wear his lacrosse jersey ○ "I am dating you" "Yeah sometimes it doesn't sink in" ○ "Is that mine?" "Yeah but I can give it back if-" "No! Keep it" • Laughing at random words ○ "Aubergine" • Him trying to protect you

○ "I was going on a walk" "It's dangerous" "In my back garden?"

• Never arguing • Falling asleep in his lap while he plays with your hair ○ Or on his shoulder ○ In these situations he freezes and tries really hard not to wake you ○ Carrying you to bed • Looking at each other whenever anyone says anything stupid

○ "Don't look at each other like that?" "Like what?" "Like you know something"

• Watching Star Wars obviously • Having millions of photos of each other on your camera rolls - you take photos doing anything • Wearing his clothes • Holding hands all the time • Being nerds together

○ "I can't even process what you just said Y/N you've officially become to much like Stiles" "Shut up Lydia this is important" "Batman is not important" "How dare you"

• He likes watching you do seemingly normal tasks like taking your make up off because it grounds him • Drawing patterns on him with your finger when you're bored or trying to focus • Being childish

• "Yeah yeah" "You weren't listening were you?" "Yeah sounds good" "Y/N" "Okay fine I may be a little distracted"

• Being dramatic • This boy will go to the ends of the earth for you and you'd be lying if you said you wouldn't do the same

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acshangri-llama · 5 years ago

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today in shangri-la - 4.28.20

labelle showed up today to ask for a work outfit!

this is definitely not a work outfit, but i think it is pretty adorable. this white beret was such a good buy, it goes with so many outfits!

i ended up going with this pink blazer look instead for the work outfit, thankfully labelle approved!

that being said, i got tired of the pink suspender look and opted for this streetwear inspired look instead:

norma is one of my least favorite villagers lately, i’m not sure why, but this mail totally resonated with me

was so hype to learn the raccoon figurine DIY. also ignore all my dupe recipes lololol

finally got a nickname from my cute villagers and its from roscoe my fav - i can’t dlfjaskdfa. JUNE BUG. and my rep’s name is may! YES i love it.

a better lit picture of this little welcome wagon area at my town’s entrance.

who else is excited for may day??

i never get tired of sunset plaza pics.

an updated progress shot of my house, i adde some random outdoor furniture to the left (yes i need to sort this out lol) and hedge fencing.

more turnip sales bc i’m obsessed with making money.

as much as i don’t like curlos...

he asked for this statue and i gave it to him.

landscaped my orchard so that there were dirt rows in between! much prefer this layout.

lots of curlos today. moved his house!

and added a bridge :) busy, busy day!

#acnh #animal crossing #animal crossing new horizons #today

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livingwithlosingyou · 2 years ago

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Living with Losing You - 9/7/2022

Lots O’ Thoughts.

I had a lot happen today. I figured I can just start with the fact that my watch very randomly had an alarm that was set for 6am on it. While I am typically up early, my sleep schedule has been very off, so I have been trying to sleep in or rest until about 7:30am. This has been a bit hit or miss.

I got up a little while later and decided to take Sadie to the dog park. I think one cool perk about living in La Mesa is that it is a fairly active community. There are always people running, walking their dog, etc. Well, I ran into this guy named Tony (he usually walked his dog Rosco) but he had a different pup today. We exchanged hellos, and it started off as a typical conversation. Then, he was asking me what I had been up to, etc. It’s hard for me to try and hide my truth, so naturally I did end up opening up to him. He offered me sincere condolences, and then actually opened up about his own family struggles with addiction and depression. I was able to give him hope. Even though you are gone, I used you story and my experiences to encourage him in this season. James, you are helping so many.

I then quickly walked her home, made a smoothie, grabbed a muffin, fed Sadie, then locked into my computer for some meetings for work today. It overall went fairly well. I have a pretty busy day tomorrow, so we will see how that goes. I am looking forward to being off on Friday (though I will be working the XC meet). Still, it’s a nice change of pace #punintended.

In the middle of my morning, I got a text from my friend Bri asking if I had a second to talk. I said yes, and she ended up calling me. To give some background, she saw the Elvis movie, and noticed that my guitar was in the movie (so cool right?!) so she was looking into that some more today, just because she was curious. Well, she asks me immediately why I chose that guitar. To be honest, one of my aunts growing up had a pink / green themed wedding that I always referenced was such a cute color combination. I also had a pink big in college named Paisley that was that same vibrant pink. I ultimately just had this overwhelming feeling that I NEEDED that guitar. As soon as I saw it, I knew it was mine. She then proceeds to say that the guitarist who plays that guitar is named James Burton. You read that correctly. WHAT?! That made my heart smile so much. What are the odds that the guitar I get is even nicknamed the Burton. He loved all things and anything Burton brand, etc. It was just such a strange but beautiful coincidence.

During my “lunch”, I face-timed with your dad and Kevin, the one who is helping with some music production. That meeting went well! I will just leave that vague for now. No need to ruin any surprises! I hope I do you proud.

After this, I had a meeting with my boss, and winded down working for the day. I did have practice today, and decided to muster up the energy to go (it’s been SO HOT). JV boys did a workout and varsity did mileage and weights. Coaching has been such a saving grace for me. It really helps me with my own healing process to use the energy I do have to help these students become better athletes.

After practice I came home and walked Sadie, then waited for Marissa to get done at the gym since we were going to eat dinner together. I did end up going for a quick 1.5 mile run and then attempted an ab workout. Just one ab of course #lovesarcasm.

On the run, I was trying to listen to Bri’s planning commission meeting, but unfortunately I was not only on an actual run, the Zoom sound never came on. I didn’t want to disturb her while she was addressing everyone.

When Marissa arrived, we ended up ordering Chick-Fil-A (as you and I called it, CHIFULAH LOL) which I had not had since you and I went in Oakridge, TN. It was a little sad to order that without you. Whenever you were home / or in town in general, we would really do most everything together. It’s hard not to miss those little things. DA LITTLE TINGS as you would always say. It really is those things when I comes down to it. Grateful for it all though.

I really need to try and get some decent sleep tonight (she says as it’s already passed 11:00pm, haha). I guess before midnight is an improvement in itself. Baby steps! Everything, and especially in grief, just feels elevated.

I also talked to your mom today because I realized that the same organization that Sean is running on behalf of in November also holds suicide prevention walks throughout the country. I looked in CA at first, but unfortunately it’s scheduled when I am coaching out of town. I then looked into KY, and saw a walk that just so happens to be down the street from your mom’s house ON YOUR BIRTHDAY. You always wanted to give back, what a special way to do it.

I love you and all the little things / signs that you leave for me. They are gems that I will always cherish and be grateful for. Please do not ever stop reminding me that you’re with me. I need your strength and love.

Good Night, James Burton Nichols. I love you so very much.

PS - If you are reading this and you are in the Lexington area, please join our team! If you are not local, but would still like to support, I have a personal goal for donations as well as a team goal. Thank you endlessly for all of the support you all have already given me.

Here is the link to donate or join!

https://supporting.afsp.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=donorDrive.team&teamID=302635

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tanevcolton28 · 2 months ago

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We have interrupted your daily shirtless brandon tanev thirsting for MILES AND ROSS THE BFS @oeldeservesthenorris WE GOT THEM

#also rosco is such a cute nickname #rosco #ross colton #miles wood #woody #the bfs ever #avs #avs lb #colorodo avalanche

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tialovestelevision · 8 years ago

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Carpe Noctem

Hello, gentle readers. I’m Tia’s dragon - I write under ruckafangirl here on tumblr, on the rare occasions I actually write anything for tumblr - and I’m going to be covering a couple of episodes for my princess while she’s in the back recovering from an overdose of gloom and misery brought on by too much grimdark. Let’s all try to get along and do our best while we sort out the seething mess that is this episode, shall we?

1. We open on the Hyperion and a jumpscare from Fred and minor social friction with Cordy. I really feel for Fred here - she’s artlessly trying for some bonding with the group particularly Cordy (the only other woman in the group) and failing at it because Pylea. There’s an interesting structural echo here - in an episode about boundaries and unwelcome intrusions, we start with Fred scaring Cordy with questionably welcome nearness. We’ll come back to that in a bit.

2. In spite of Fred’s musing about how deep Angel’s reading habits are, he’s reading the local paper’s community section and getting hyped about a Charlton Heston double feature. The thud with which it lands is notable. Fred, however, is excited. Great little subtle bit of acting from David here - the way in which he proceeds to bother everyone else about leaving has the subtle effect of suggesting he’s uncomfortable with going alone with Fred but wants the company enough to go along with her coming anyway. He also continues Angel’s habit of talking too much when he’s trying to cover for social awkwardness.

3. Switching scenes to a hot (I think? I don't really get male attractiveness) guy in bed with a couple of women who are ready to take a break from the sex we’re supposed to believe they’ve been having. Also, that’s a terrible way to treat a martini. For which he is duly punished by the realization that he has to go by way of melting everything inside his skin with a mystical incantation. Fun touch here: the vibe between the women and the guy (them hesitant for more but overall willing, him pushing) would form a nice mirror image to Angel and Fred in the previous scene if the supporting cast they hired to do this bit were better at their jobs. As it is, the corny dialogue and mediocre acting mean you have to really look for it.

4. Wes is suffering through Fred’s replay of the evening with Angel. I particularly like her observation about the popcorn - active consent in food sharing, she’s into it. Also traditional masculinity props like walking on the street side and holding doors for her. Put a pin in that, because we’re coming back to it at the end. “You know that awkward kind of quiet?” Why yes, Fred, yes he does. Now.

5. Cordy now wants to a Talk with Angel about Fred’s crush. Which is a bit that reads a little weirdly, because the script obviously wants us to treat this as an Important Moment, but David is sitting there with a look on his face that says “I know all this already and urgently don’t want to admit it to myself.” His delivery of the line “it was just a movie” on the heels of his awkwardness in the earlier scene particularly sells the idea that this is a guy who’s perfectly aware that Fred is crushing on him and is urgently trying to pretend otherwise so he doesn’t have to deal with the social awkwardness of his latest protectee’s feelings. Then Cordy launches into a list of his virtues and defects, and the scene switches tones very abruptly into a “smile, smile, object” gag that seems to be primarily about Angel feeling vulnerable about his inability to have sex. More awkward silence. Hey, look, Cordy is stomping all over his boundaries by literally walking him into the room with Fred! Yet more awkward silence. Hey, saved by the bodies hitting the floor! Angel is avoiding conflict by throwing himself at his work.

6. Hey, look, more unwelcome social contact - Gavin following Lilah around and showing off how impressive he is. She doesn’t care for him and plans to make his life more difficult. Possibly Angel. Possibly both.

7. Mooooore awkward silence during the briefing. Followed by leaving Fred standing by herself, talking to herself. Because Cordy is happy to make a big show of worrying about Fred’s feelings when she sees the possibility of something bad happening with Angel, but proactively engaging the shut-in? Nah. Too much work.

8. Cordy brings up professional/personal boundaries and drops the idea in mid-sentence to go hit on buff guys. O...kay? Where are you going with this, script? Now Angel is fast-talking his way past Phil, who is obviously not overly endowed in the brains department (stereotypes about men at gyms much, show?). More Cordy hitting on gym guys and collecting their home numbers under false pretenses. Which they are buying because apparently they don’t have two brain cells to rub between them. Meanwhile, Angel has picked up on someone watching the pilates class from a retirement community because... he’s good at identifying creepy voyeuristic behavior during the night? Awkward symbolism is awkward.

9. Creepy Marcus Roscoe is creepy. Though the business card thing doesn’t make Angel seem any less creepy. He’s pouring on the charm, but there’s something hard under that. There’s a lot of nice detective work in this scene - Angel picking up things that don’t quite fit in their context and trying to find a model that works for them - and the chemistry between the actor they have playing Marcus and Angel is pretty good. Angel’s arrogance about the body-swap spell is played pretty nicely - he’s counting on being a vampire to protect him and it doesn’t.

10. David does an interesting job of playing Marcus here - the way he’s trying to get used to the new body and enjoying it at the same time, the way he really creepily looks Cordy up and down. The gap between what he’s saying and what Cordy’s reading him as saying because she knows Angel and thinks of him a certain way resonates with the earlier conversation between Angel and Cordy about Fred - what’s actually being said and what each person thinks is being said by the other are very different, and both people are drawing their conclusions based on what they want to believe. You can actually see Cordy pick up a vibe from him and dismiss it because “that’s not what Angel could possibly mean.”

11. So we get some fun watching Marcus trip over his lack of knowledge, but he’s back on his creepy track in short order with a not-very-clever pass at Cordy. We’re paying off the conversations about workplace and personal boundaries here, though admittedly not very subtly. They do an interesting play on traditional excuses for workplace harassment here - Marcus-as-Angel says something totally inappropriate and Cordy immediately assumes he’s making fun of her for the pending Fred conversation because (again) she categorizes him as “safe” in her head. There’s also a pretty funny gag using Marcus’s unfamiliarity with the situation and Fred’s nickname to give him the impression Angel is gay (Angel’s clothes help) that mostly steers clear of being played for homophobia, so that’s nice. It would be nicer if we ever actually got any queer representation in Angel which is SET IN LA, but you know, whatever.

12. Meanwhile, Angel wakes up in Marcus’s body and we have some sight-gags about the infirmities of age. He calls the hotel and Marcus-as-Angel gives him some shit and says some lovely misogynistic crap about Cordelia that makes us all want to punch him. Aaand now the health-care worker is walking Angel back to his room and giving us a quick fill-in about Marcus’s streak of body-stealing. Nice fridge horror moment there.

13. So, Marcus tore the office apart and then fell asleep in a chair? Logic is a bit lacking. And now Cordy’s holding out on the casefile until he has the talk. With Fred. Who he presumes Wesley must be because English and making tea equals gay? Ugh. It builds heat for the villain effectively, but there’s something uncomfortable about the show going there with Wes’s “questionable masculinity” when Buffy played with it so often in a pejorative way. Put a pin in that while I try to reduce my blood pressure.... the actors at least play it well.

14. And now Gunn’s back and Marcus is adding being a racist prick and rude to delivery-people to his resume of awful. Everyone thinks it’s weird that Angel is eating (and whose food is he eating, by the way?) but nobody seems to be paying it any attention. We find out that the women in that first Marcus-related scene were paid escorts, which brings back the work/personal boundary idea again and also makes it a lot more uncomfortable (and raises my opinion of the actresses and scripting in the scene) in retrospect. Issues of performance, boundaries and expectation at play there - Marcus is paying for sex and expecting a lot more of it than is normally implicit in the transaction, but playing off his borrowed physique and male privilege to run right over that boundary. Speaking of boundaries, Marcus’s smokescreen about privacy points to the way that private investigation steps all over those and Gunn is echoing Cordelia’s earlier workplace-related creepiness with wanting to interview the escorts. What’s funny when talking about physically fit men comes off not funny at all when talking about women in a traditionally vulnerable trade. Bad Gunn! Bad! And Wesley is getting in on the badness, too. Thank you, Cordy, for at least pointing that out. Aaand Marcus is creepy. They’re now leaving him alone in the hotel. That ain’t gonna go well.

15. Angel in distress. Cute baby. Evidence being shredded. Yeah, not going well. And now we’re about to have our first scene with Marcus-as-Angel and Fred, which is enough to make my skin try to crawl off on its own. Drama is drama, but do we really have to play the vulnerability of the traumatized woman whose coding is “Southern,” “young” and “romantically innocent” for cheap chills? That’s obviously the point of the episode, but it’s frankly not a good scripting decision.

16. A couple of things from this scene are worth calling out. First, Marcus uses the same pick-up line on Fred as he did on Cordy. Cordy reads it as a joke because she sees Angel as safe and a buddy. Fred takes it with flustered excitement because she reads Angel as safe and chivalrous. When Lilah comes into the scene, it breaks the tension a little, but knowing Fred is upstairs and about to go out with this man who she thinks is safe and isn’t is terrifying.

17. About the Lilah scene: Marcus is a creeper with a one-note schtick. Also, watching Lilah trying to read what’s going on is fascinating. Quick cut to Angel having a heart attack in Marcus’s body instead of that, which is annoying, but at least Lilah’s still there when we get back. The transition to sex here is a little strange - are we meant to think that Lilah is really buying this as Angel? - but I’m honestly just so relieved that this is killing time that we might spend seeing Fred get creeped on that I don’t care. But hey, them doing it in the office after she’s done him a favor to get back at her workplace rival at least makes the shredding of personal and professional boundaries really, really blatant. Aaand there’s Fred. Thank you, creepy Marcus-man, for averting that shit with your crappiness. But now you know you’re a vampire, so that’s going to lead to other creepiness.

18. Cordy makes a cheap prostitute joke. Boo, Cordy. And now Fred is having emotional pain, and I’m meant to sympathize, but I’m still too busy with relief. Nice callback to having different conversations here, though - Cordy thinks Fred is broken up about one thing, and she’s actually talking about something totally different.

19. Now Marcus is out cruising the town looking for blood? Sex? Both? We get a weird nightclub scene which is played without dialogue, entirely on stereotypes, and now a woman is being saved from murder by Marcus discovering Angel’s other superpowers. This plays very nicely with pointing out just how terrifying Angel’s powers set is when he isn’t driving it. Put pin number three in that thought while we go to the reveal!

20. Wes puts it all together finally after some unpleasant alpha-male commentary from Gunn and a gag about Buffy and Angel from Cordy. Dramatic rush to the retirement community to save Angel-as-Marcus from Marcus-as-Angel’s attempt to secure his spot in the undead body forever. This is an okay sequence, playing interestingly on the fear of patricide, but it wouldn’t really work if David didn’t do such a fantastic job of playing Marcus as a bad Angelus rip-off. It has a nice feel-good payoff of friends being the key to saving you and Wesley gets a good moment, but mainly it feels like we’re wrapping up the show in a couple minutes because we’re running out of runtime. Pacing is not this show’s friend. Hey, look, it’s the hero walk from the opening sequence!

21. Now we get Angel and Fred talking in the garden. At least Fred already has all the facts because Cordelia got there first, and Angel is self-aware enough to be glad of that. Aaand now Fred’s sharing her pain. Which is promptly interrupted by the news that Buffy’s alive, and I’d be a lot happier about that if it weren’t being played to make me feel for Fred’s competitive heartbreak. Aaaand credits. Done. That wasn’t so bad, was it?

Analysis: Yes. Yes it was. To start with the pure technical question of this as an hour of television - what the hell happened with their sense of pacing? The writing’s not terrible (its use of symbolism and theme is actually decent) and the actors give it their all, but it rambles along with all the tension coming from our fear of what might happen to Fred and/or Angel in Marcus’s body and then fails to have a climax worth mentioning. Its comedy is only funny in a wince inducing way, the drama falls flat and it doesn’t even really commit to the horror premise of our female characters being in danger from a misogynistic creep in Angel’s body - it brings in Lilah and then the random woman in the bar to take those hits instead, as if somehow that’s more acceptable (one of them’s an evil lawyer and the other is cheating on her boyfriend with a hot guy, they CLEARLY have it coming /sarcasm). We’re left with some mild workplace harassment of Cordy, a wince-worthy scene with Marcus-as-Angel and Wes that hinges on stereotypes about gay men and heartbreak from Fred (our designated Innocent Female Victim) that we’re supposed to care about while being relieved that her ‘virtue’ was protected. Ugh. Not a good show.

But we should pick up those three pins from earlier for a minute and at least talk about the premise itself.

A) Angel is depicted by Fred as a chivalrous model for men, which is why she has feelings about him. Cordy says similar things about him, then complicates it by pointing out all the ways he doesn’t fit it (history of violence, lack of sexual availability, etc).

B) Wes’s masculinity versus Angel’s is a running thing in the story - Marcus reads him as “less manly” and therefore gay, Gunn makes jokes about Angel reclaiming the desk sexually, we’re expected to read something slighting about Wes into Fred talking to Wes about Angel at such length.

C) Marcus-as-Angel is a lesson in how scary power is when it’s being driven by someone without restraint, yes, but it’s also about what Marcus does with that power - he beats up other men and assaults women. Pay attention to what he says to Angel in their last scene together - “You don’t deserve that body,” he says, as if Angel’s unwillingness to assert his physical and sexual prowess is a sin.

So what we’ve got here, a step or two down, is a contrast of two archetypes of masculinity with a nod to a third: the competitive, pumped-up, strength-flaunting sexual predator and the chivalric, chaste knight who rushes about saving women from monsters and relies on his friends, plus nerdy English guys who make tea and whose masculinity is questioned. Everything the writers show us is designed to show off how icky the first is and engage our admiration for the second, while making snide jokes about Wesley. On one level, that’s actually really problematic - chivalric concepts of masculinity are almost always tied up in ideas about “worthy” women (writers, I’m looking at you and the way you set Lilah up for sexual assault here), and they’re frequently a cover for a lot of implicit sexual violence. But let’s credit the writers with actually having one good point, whether they mean to or not, and jump off from “are there any men who aren’t dogs” (thanks Cordelia) to try reading this as a critique of toxic masculinity. Because what’s good about Angel, in this reading, isn’t his strength or his good looks or his cool car - it’s his geeky love of old movies, his willingness to admit his weakness in the conversation with Fred at the end, his reliance on his friends, his willingness to use his power (metaphor for male privilege much?) to help others without expecting thanks. What’s bad about him is his macho posturing (it gets him into trouble in the first place), his lack of communication (avoiding talking with Fred, his going off without talking to Cordy because he’s being snippy about her talking to the gym boys) and his insecurity about his sexual problems. In other words, it’s the ways he’s still tied up with the same conventional hyper-masculinity that Marcus is willing to kill people to embody again (and that we're making fun of Wesley for not measuring up to, but let's stay on point). Which brings me back to the hallway scene and David playing Marcus as Angel when he’s stalking Angel in Marcus’s body, and how reminiscent that is of Angelus.

Because the dirty secret of Buffy Season 3 and a lot of Angel is this: Angelus is predatory masculinity - the same predatory masculinity that Marcus hams up playing at - embodied. We meet him for the first time as a metaphor for a boyfriend turned abusive in Innocence, and from the first scene when he’s callous to Buffy after her first sexual experience, he’s playing on every social trope we have for a man who mistreats women. He’s manipulative, cruel, obsessed with conquest, basically the whole list. So we take as our hero, in Angel, a chivalric man from another time who’s walking around with all this dark ugliness of masculinity just one moment of orgasm away from ... wait a minute. Oh dear.

Now we’re back to being problematic again, aren’t we?

I could do six more paragraphs on the way that the series privileges certain kinds of pain (and certain people’s pain) over others, but I think I’ve taxed y’all’s patience long enough. Thanks for hanging with me today, and I’ll see you all around the web.

#carpe noctem #angel #angel season 3 #season 3 #season 6 #guest blog

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