#also regarding edgeworth wondering if his asexuality is bc of his depression and trauma:

[tokidokifish]

i’ve been reading a lot of ace attorney fanfiction and this morning i woke up with a pun in mind.

“Edgeworth?”

“Mm?” Edgeworth’s eyes are closed and his voice is relaxed. They’ve spent the evening camped out in his living room, working on separate cases, bouncing ideas off one another, until they finally agreed that it was time to call it quits. Now they were just relaxing, having a nightcap, before Edgeworth retired to bed and Phoenix caught a Lyft back to his place.

It seemed like as good a time as any. “I’ve been thinking.”

“Usually worrisome,” Edgeworth notes, with a little curl of a smile.

“You have no idea,” Phoenix mutters, and takes a moment. “I guess I’ve been wondering why nothing ever… happened, with you and I. I mean, I, uh… kind of wanted. For a while. And I thought something was going to happen, that time we were in France, but it just… didn’t.”

He tries to keep his voice light and casual, like he hasn’t been working up the courage to talk about this for weeks. (Months? Possibly years?) Like he hadn’t spent ages trying to mentally prepare himself for whatever reaction Edgeworth might have, arguing back and forth with himself about whether risking what they had was worth what could be.

It had been kind of like having a trial in his head, and if he’s being honest he still hadn’t known come to a definite conclusion before he looked at Edgeworth, relaxed on the couch and looking almost soft around the edges, and couldn’t keep it in a second longer.

Edgeworth tenses, then, eyes opening and finding Phoenix’s. In the thousands of times Phoenix had gone over this scenario in his mind, he had imagined a lot of responses, good and bad. On the negative end of things, he mostly expected to be brushed off with a practiced excuse; in the worst case scenario, he had feared Edgeworth would be defensive and angry. But he hadn’t expected the look on Edgeworth’s face, the way he looks caught out and… a little afraid?

It’s enough to make Phoenix open his mouth, ready to take the question back, but Edgeworth shakes his head before anything comes out.

“No, I,” Edgeworth starts, and then stops, and then he pushes himself up from his recline against the couch. He turns his body toward Phoenix, lifts his eyes and straightens his shoulders. “I would be lying to say it had never crossed my mind, either. Especially, yes, that time in France, but.”

“Edgeworth,” Phoenix says, quietly. And then even softer: “Miles.”

“At first I told myself it was because I was focused on my career,” Edgeworth says. “That it was just a distraction that I didn’t let myself think about. For quite a while… afterward, I assumed it was the fault of what I’ve since accepted was a fair amount of serious depression and not-insignificant trauma, that it had… impacted my ability to feel things the way I should.”

Phoenix opens his mouth again at that, but this time Edgeworth actually holds up a hand to forestall what he’s going to say, and almost smiles. “It’s alright. I know. It’s been… some time since I approached my emotions that way. And a lot of that has been, well, thanks to my therapist. And she was the one that told me that…” He puts his hands in his lap, and looks away. “That could be part of it. The… depression, and everything else, I mean. But there was another possibility, and that was that it was simply the way I am, and of course that there’s nothing wrong with that, but most importantly nothing to fix. Nothing that could be ‘fixed’.”

Edgeworth looks up again, even though Phoenix can tell how difficult that is. “I am attracted to you, Wright. I want to - be with you, romantically. But I don’t want to have sex with you, and I probably never will. And so I’ve never said anything because it wouldn’t be fair. To you.”

Phoenix stares, feeling like all of the air has been punched out of him. He never expected any of this, and that’s probably why, before he can think better of it, he says: “That’s it?”  

“‘That’s it?’” Edgeworth echoes, features twisting, but Phoenix is already shaking his head, reaching out to take one of Edgeworth’s hands.

“No, no, I’m sorry, that’s - God, I can’t even imagine how it’s been for you to have to question that on top of dealing with everything else,” Phoenix says, squeezing Edgeworth’s hand gently and, not for the first time, cursing von Karma’s fucked up revenge-fueled version of fatherhood. “But it’s also - it’s fine. I mean, I’m only like… passingly interested in that stuff, anyhow. I can totally take sex or leave it. And even if that wasn’t true, I love you, Miles. I’ve loved you for years. Being with you is so much more important than sex.”

Edgeworth - Miles - stares back, looking a little like Phoenix had felt just a few minutes ago. When he finally speaks again, his voice is small, but Phoenix can still hear the hope there. “Really?”

“Absolutely,” Phoenix breaths, and he lets go of Miles’ hands to wrap him up in a hug instead. Miles is stiff in his arms for a moment, and then it’s like a switch is flipped and he presses closer instead, burying his face against Phoenix’s shoulder and clinging tightly.

“I love you, too,” Miles says, voice muffled but steady. “Thank you so much.”

Phoenix can’t help it - he barks out a laugh, and gently pulls back. “I’d say I should thank you, but I think we’d just get into our first argument as a… couple?” he tries, glancing at Miles for confirmation.

“The first of many, let’s be honest,” Miles responds, and Phoenix’s grin couldn’t be wider. He reaches up a hand to cup Miles’ cheek, feeling a little trill at the fact that’s just something he can do, now.

“Would a kiss be alright?” Phoenix asks, and Miles is nodding before he’s even finished asking the question. 

“Yes,” he says, immediately, and then, “Please.”

The kiss is soft, and sweet, and it feels like a beginning.