#also reason why he has these disguises: it's because angels (his team) secretly kill them. the demons don't expect this at all considering

[spideyladman]

So I saw that dude that Vivzie did (Adam dude who looks wack as hell) and was like "You know what? No ❤️" and did my take on the idea that was made for the dude.

According to this post that I found, he is supposed to be an angel that is a rockstar. His OG design looks nothing like a rockstar's so I decided to ✨️spice it up a little (as well as my take on how Hazbin Hotel would go (basically a reboot tbh-))✨️.

My reasoning for why he has those horns is so that he can disguise himself better as a demon on Extermination day, since he can't create horns by himself for his demon disguise thanks to the limitations to his power and body.

Every year he changes his human disguise so that he doesn't risk dying to demons so ye. Also, picture above is one of his many human disguises because his true appearance is really horrifying and he does not want anyone to see who he really is.

Also, something I remembered while seeing canon Adam's horns and concept idea: Rock music is usually related to demons, so I decided to play a little bit with that idea.

Reasoning why there is Extermination Day in my book? Adam wants to get rid of those beings who he deems are the reason of his downfall (Yes, in my book he is THE Adam) plus he is horrified that the humans that came after him have gone worse so thanks to the permission of God (there was a literal War according to the Bible, God is a Chaotic Neutral tbh-) he kills the demons in hell.

Btw, Lucifer develops a soft spot for the humans because he adores how his evilness still resides in the humans even after Jesus came into the picture but also hates them because they were the reason why he is down in Hell in the first place and couldn't care less if they were getting exterminated while Adam just straight up hates Lucifer and hopes to kill him during one of these Extermination Days.

Also, when he finds out Charlie is trying to redeem demons, he just laughs but decides to disguise himself and go down there to see how it's going. He finds it hilarious how Charlie, the literal princess of hell, thinks they can redeem horrible people, but also finds it endearing how she thinks that she can possibly try and bring out the good in people, demons specifically.

I hope y'all like my take on this concept and my kinda redesign on how Hazbin Hotel would go! ^^

[fekst-fucker]

Not me sending a bunch a asks for the girls cuz no one really does them. But. Headcannons for them? Can be about anything!

I hope you don’t mind that I saved Judge Angel and Nurse Ann for this post, I’ve never written for them so I wanted to flesh out their characters :)

Jane the Killer

- Mom friend of the group

- In like, a detached, cool biker mom way

- She likes coffee and tea equally! She’s just not a huge fan of anything super sweet, she’d prefer to have a piece of cake instead of a sugary drink

- She speaks a little French, I think. She probably learned it in high school and is still studying it casually

- She and Nina don’t get along too well but she’s still very protective and watchful over her regardless

- I know I’ve mentioned this before but she ALWAYS has shit-talking sessions with Tim and sometimes EJ. They have a lot of steam to blow off

- Her Vespa is orange :)

- She hates supernatural horror, but is a big fan of suspense or murder films, if they’re done tactfully and not too gory. She sees enough blood in her line of work

- The one exception is the movie The Autopsy of Jane Doe. She really sympathizes with the girl in it

Clockwork

- Does this woman every brush her hair

- Yes but it sticks out in every possible angle, she cuts it herself and tried to give it “layers” but it literally looks like choppy anime hair

- She does wear an eyepatch when she goes out, and she doesn’t just discretely shy away from people staring at it, she’s ready to pick a fucking fight

- Drinks black coffee with a ton of simple syrup. Iced. She’s gay

- She dreams of having a steampunk aesthetic but it’s way too impractical. She tries to brush it off as “nah that was just a stupid middle school dream”

- She doesn’t speak any other languages, though she has picked up some ASL from Brian. EJ kinda scares her so she doesn’t interact with him much but since she started trying to sign to him their friendship has really blossomed

- Her shoes cycle between beat up tennis shoes and clunky Wolverine work boots. There’s no inbetween

Judge Angel

- Never talks to anybody. Keeps her head down and lips sealed. It’s not a huge loss, no one’s exactly itching to talk to her, either

- And the hood she wears is always covering her eyes, nobody has ever seen them. They’re kind of afraid of what would happen if they did

- She doesn’t really live at Slender mansion. She has a very secluded cabin a couple miles off, and the interior is very well decorated and surprisingly warm. Lots of those white tiny minimalist deer statues

- She always carries her sword in a hilt on her hip, it’s mostly for show. She’s powerful enough to not need to use it against any of the other creeps

- A nasty habit of hers is scaring the demons at the mansion. It’s 100% intentional and it’s a very bitchy thing to do

- EJ, Dark, Kageko, and even Zalgo hate her

- She doesn’t really have any hobbies besides fighting and tearing shit up. Maybe reading criminal justice novels in her little cabin

- She respects three people at the mansion. Slender, Tim, and, for some reason, Ben

- She’s a little bit of a pick me girl tbh

Nurse Ann

- I know she’s supposed to be cruel and demented and sadistic but that’s tired. What’s wired is that was a temporary state that demons and the undead get sent into, for a couple months max, and now she’s back to her pretty calm, timid self

- Maybe a little less timid now that she kills people, but she’s still very reserved, soft-spoken, and sweet

- She’s best friends with EJ. Quiet? Medical students? Undead? Oh babey

- Don’t get me wrong, she was a couple years older than he was when they both died, so she thinks of him more as a student or peer

- She loves to read. Anything and everything. Romance and typical textbooks are her favorites, she loves to learn

- Prefers just a cup of tea. She has a nice collection of teacups and saucers in her room

- She does speak a little bit of Spanish, she learned it to better communicate with her patients. She’s still kicking herself for never learning Mandarin or Punjabi, but it’s never too late to start!

Nina the Killer

- Idk why but I’ve always thought of Nina as Hispanic

- So she can speak Spanish, and I think she probably speaks a Dominican or another very quick dialect when she does

- She’s not very good at cooking, and it really upsets her, because she does miss her traditional meals from home

- So, even though she pisses Tim off, they team up and she tells him how to make stuff like tamales, tacos, sopa, maybe empanadas, plantains, stuff like that

- She’s an incredibly picky eater, actually. Tim is secretly honored that she eats his food

- Queen of scene! She has NEVER given up her scene aesthetic, being bullied never even phased her

- When she puts lipstick or anything on, she puts it all the way up the slits in her cheeks lmfao

- She’s tried the e-girl aesthetic a couple times, it doesn’t go nearly as hard as scene so she kinda gave it up

- She’s awful at gaming but still loves it, she plays with Ben and Jeff and even though they obliterate her she has a great time

- She’s the one that gets the snacks and refreshments, during gaming and during movie night

- She goes out into public without any like disguise on. People assume the silts are just SFX or a hardcore part of her aesthetic

- She is NOT as obsessed with Jeff now! She’s a little more grown, plus there’s wayyyy hotter people at the mansion

Honorable mention for Sally:

- Likes choccy milk :)

- Will ONLY be babysat by EJ or Slender. Everyone else is very upset about this

- She watches Sesame Street in the living room and everyone just kinda… watches with her

- She’s very glad everybody is participating with her, she may be a ghost child but she still needs enrichment!!

- Loves to help bread stuff whenever Tim deep fries food, he nearly has a heart attack letting such a small child near boiling oil but he’s responsible

- She doesn’t like soda because it hurts to drink

- Doesn’t need to be tucked into bed or be read a bedtime story but she does need a lil nightlight

- Usually ends up scampering off to spend the night in someone else’s bed if the power is off

- She and Nina are buddies :)

- She and Ben are also buddies, he lets her play video games with him with the controller plugged in cause he’s not a meanie like Jeff

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

Hypothetical set-up for Agents of SHIELD season 6 (not based on any actual spoilers since I don’t know any)

The season is set a few months after season 5. To recap, Coulson is dead, May is still in Tahiti, Fitz is MIA, Deke is traveling the world, and Mack, Elena, Daisy, Jemma, Piper, and Davis are looking for Enoch’s ship. 

PLOT A

In the first episode, Mack’s team finds Enoch...but the pod containing Fitz is empty. When Jemma asks where Fitz is, Enoch says he let him out early. The team asks why and Enoch says that he was keeping contact with the events on Earth. 

He assumed that if the trip to the future was successful, he would hear news about SHIELD arriving back to the past to make changes to the timeline. From another Chronicom (hinted to be Noah), Enoch learned that SHIELD did make it back, thus, he had Fitz return to Earth while he went back to space. 

When they ask him when he let Fitz out, Enoch says, “Around the time Daisy stopped Graviton”, meaning Past Leo Fitz has been on Earth for months now. The team wonders why Past Fitz didn’t try to find them and we get the clip of Jemma crying inside the pod. 

PLOT B

Back on Earth, May is reading Coulson’s will. Most of it is normal, until she gets to the end. It’s addressed to a “Carmilla Black” and it says that he’s entrusting her with his car Lola. He also writes that a great deal of SHIELD’s success was because of her work behind-the-scenes and that he was proud of her. May is confused since she’s never heard of this Carmilla Black and Coulson has never mentioned her. 

While burying Coulson, unbeknownst to May, the morgue doctors are revealed to be Skrull infiltrators. The lead Skrull, Dezan, says that Coulson and SHIELD are friends of the Skrulls and that the key to finding “Paradise” was through Coulson. When the other Skrulls say their plans are doomed, Dezan says that there’s still hope and impersonates Coulson. Dezan, under the Coulson disguise, says he’ll infiltrate Roxxon Industries as Coulson, hoping it’ll lead him to “the man in charge”.

(We’ll learn later that “Paradise” is a Skrull safe-zone designed by SHIELD in 2001 under the orders of Captain Marvel, as a way of protecting Skrull refugees. “The man in charge” is Andrew Forson, the season’s main antagonist and the leader of the villain faction, Advanced Idea Mechanics / A.I.M.) 

Dezan tries to leave without anyone noticing him but May sees him. She’s shocked at seeing Coulson “alive” and follows him. 

PLOT C

On the other side of the world, Past Leo Fitz is sulking away back home in Scotland, having become a reclusive alcoholic. In a flashback, we learn that Fitz suffered a massive existential crisis when he learned that his other self died during the fight with Graviton. In addition, Fitz says that the “Doctor” came out one night and that when he came to his senses, the things he did broke him mentally. 

(We’ll learn later that, the day after Fitz found out his other self died, he got into a brawl with members of the Dogs of Hell biker gang. The stress of knowing he had died, combined with the stress he was already living with due to his experiences with AIDA, pushed him into full Doctor mode and he murdered the entire gang)

The reason why Fitz didn’t seek out SHIELD is because he wanted to get away from everything. His self-imposed exile comes to an end when he comes across a new character. This new character, a young woman with dark green hair, is revealed to be on the run from the Maggia, a massive international crime syndicate. Their paths cross one night and Fitz is forced to go on the run with her due to the Maggia hitmen targeting him now just because of his association with the green-haired girl.

In one of the first “drama bombs” of the season, the green-haired girl is revealed to be Carmilla Black, the girl mentioned in Coulson’s will. She says that the Maggia were hired by a mysterious organization known as “A.I.M.” to kill her. Why, she doesn’t know (spoiler: she’s lying, of course she knows why she’s being chased). Fitz brushes her off, saying that A.I.M. is a dead organization, leading us to this exchange:

Fitz: That’s absurd, Iron Man destroyed A.I.M. years ago.

Carmilla: Like how Captain America destroyed HYDRA in WWII? 

Fitz: ...fair enough.

Carmilla says she’s going to end A.I.M. but can’t do it on her own. Fitz, despite being hesitant to help this new person, agrees to anyways since he has no choice. 

BACK TO PLOT A

Going back to Mack, Elena, Daisy, and Jemma, they return to Earth, feeling defeated. While figuring out what to do, they receive a message from Deke Shaw. The team finds Deke, who tells them that while traveling around the world, he wanted to track down his other ancestors to get a better idea of who his family was. He doesn’t find much on Fitz’s side of the family (aside from a quick reference to Fitz’s mom) but he learns something big about Jemma’s family.

It’s revealed that several members of Jemma’s family are high-ranking members of Roxxon (reference to 616!Jemma). When the team asks why Deke thought telling them about Simmons’ family would be an emergency, we get another drama bomb:

Deke: Guys...Jemma’s father is dead.

The team is shocked when they find out that Jemma’s father was murdered. When Jemma asks who did it, Daisy goes online and learns that the number one suspect is infamous international criminal Carmilla Black, who is on the run for several crimes. 

SHIELD decides to go after Carmilla to bring her to justice, not realizing that Carmilla is traveling with Fitz. Helping them is Andrew Forson, the current CEO of Roxxon and one of Jemma’s family friends. They have no idea that Forson is the leader of A.I.M., or that A.I.M. is active. 

So to recap, here’s the main storylines:

1) Mack, Elena, Deke, Daisy, and Jemma are working with Andrew Forson and Roxxon in trying to bring Carmilla Black to justice. They don’t know that they’re secretly working with A.I.M.. 

2) Fitz is traveling with infamous fugitive Carmilla Black, who is on the run from the Maggia, who were hired by A.I.M.. Fitz doesn’t know that Carmilla murdered Jemma’s father and that Coulson knew Carmilla. 

3) May is following Dezan, a Skrull infiltrator using Coulson’s identity in order to sneak into Roxxon and find Andrew Forson. Dezan’s goal is to find “Paradise”, a Skrull safe-zone developed by SHIELD and Captain Marvel. 

The twists in the later episodes of the season:

1) A.I.M. is hunting Carmilla down because they created her. Carmilla is a test-tube baby designed by A.I.M. as the “perfect” assassin. Before they could program her mind to be completely loyal to A.I.M., Coulson found and rescued her. We also learn that Coulson didn’t want her to be an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. but was overruled by Nick Fury. Carmilla ends up becoming the “Winter Soldier” of S.H.I.E.L.D. 

2) Coulson being the one to find and rescue Carmilla from A.I.M. is the reason why he entrusted her with his car. She’s, technically, his “first” daughter, even though he didn’t see her that way. We also learn Coulson never told anyone about her because he didn’t want A.I.M. to find her.  

3) Carmilla murdered Jemma’s father because he was a high-ranking member of A.I.M.. 

4) Jemma learns that her family are an A.I.M. clan and that she and Fitz were supposed to join A.I.M. at some point. Jemma gets disgusted by this and disowns her entire family. 

5) The finale is a showdown in the Paradise safe-zone, with Dezan and the Skrulls helping S.H.I.E.L.D. battle A.I.M.. Andrew Forson survives the final battle and will appear next season, but not as the main villain. 

6) By the end of the season, Fitz sorta achieves a balance between his normal self and Doctor self. He can be the shy scientist most of the time but when he needs to, he can bust the Doctor out. 

7) Daisy is the one to convince Dezan and the Skrulls that they are on their side and that they can help them find Paradise. She also is the one leading the Skrull and S.H.I.E.L.D. forces during the final battle. Due to this show of leadership, Mack steps down as Director and appoints Daisy as his successor.

8) Carmilla and Dezan become agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. by the end of the season, although there’s some lingering tension between Jemma and Carmilla due to Carmilla’s past actions. Dezan is encouraged to stay with S.H.I.E.L.D. by May, who tells him that he could continue Coulson’s legacy.  

9) Holden Radcliffe is revealed as a member of A.I.M.

10) The season’s post-credit is Mack and Elena discovering another one of A.I.M.’s test subjects, revealed to be a little girl with silver hair. The two take her in, unofficially adopting her. When they ask what the girl’s name is, the girl says, “Kobik”. Kobik and the Cosmic Cube stuff are going to be season 7′s main focus. 

11) I don’t really care for the shippy stuff, but if we’re gonna go there, maybe Deke x Carmilla? Suggesting that since Deke and Daisy isn’t really that popular. Or maybe...Daisy x Carmilla? Also, Dezan and May aren’t going to be a thing but obviously, you can’t ignore the Philinda parallels between them. I also pictured Mack and Elena wanting their own kid, which is why they adopt Kobik in the final scene of the season. 

@lostinthespeedforce, @angel-starbeam, @whistlingwindtree, @happilyshanghaied, @agentmilayawithshield, @clarasghosts, @blackaquokat 

Thoughts on this write-up? Sorry in advance, I know it’s long. 

[the-reason-to-sail-home]

✨CS Fairy Tale Prompts✨

As promised, here is a collected list of (50+) fairy tale, fantasy, and mythology prompts. I’ve also included a handful of smutty prompts and hearty helping of dark fantasy prompts for CS Halloweek. Feel free to use any of these for anything, and if you do, I’d appreciate it if you link back to this list! Happy writing!

General Fairy Tale Prompts

Killian is an apothecary, Emma is the woman who tracks down the rare and dangerous ingredients for him.

Character A has vowed to kill a dragon, unbeknownst to them that their lover, Character B, is really the beast they’re hunting.

Pirate Killian follows his map to where treasure is sure to lie. Instead, he only finds the humble cottage of a poor woman living by herself.

The fictional character that person A has fallen in love with steps out of the pages of a book, running away from something disastrous happening in their own world.

Write about the forbidden love between two very different mythological creatures (ie; fairies, nymphs, humans, mermaids, etc).

Character A is an unhappy siren who has fallen for their latest prey, Character B, the only person who is unaffected by A’s charms.

Emma is a messenger that continually runs into sailor Killian as they travel across the world, her by land, and he by sea.

Emma is a Robin Hood type character protecting her village from the Pirate Jones who wishes to plunder it.

Alternatively, Emma is tired of her stifling life in her small village and stows herself away on a pirate ship in hopes of finding adventure.

An evil witch has princess Emma locked in a tower, but little does Emma know, the witch has a pirate locked just the room below her. During one of the pirate’s escape plans, he and Emma meet. (Possible Rapunzel AU?)

Character A is a fortune teller who sees themselves in Character B’s future.

Emma disguises herself as a princess to steal from the prince’s treasury during his ball. Everything goes according to plan, except, you know, the part where she falls in love with him.

Character A is immortal and character B reincarnates over and over and over again. Sometimes they fall in love, sometimes they don’t.

The village leaves character A behind as a sacrifice to the god/dess of the forest, character B is the god who finds character A, beaten and neglected.

Character A is a chess master who is enlisted to teach the royal character B how to play. Character A soon surpasses their teacher.

This also works with music, swordsmanship, and other things where mastery can be taught!

Killian is a map creator who needs an escort to give him as he marks down uncharted lands. Emma just happens to be the best in the land.

Killian and Emma are the demon of evil and the angel of good. They have a fierce rivalry with each other, trying to bring lowly mortals to their respective side. 

Princess Emma discovers a secret library within the depths of her castle run by a strange librarian, Killian Jones.

Character A falls in love with the palace gardener, Character B.

Write about a masquerade ball. Emma and Killian could be royalty, spies, castle servants, thieves, guests, military officers, knights. The dynamics could be neat on this one.

Spooky Fairy tales

Emma is the youngest and most powerful of three witches. One day, Killian stumbles upon their home as an overnight guest. He teaches her that she can use her witch powers for good. (Based off of Barbara Picard’s story, “The Third Witch”)

The Spirit of Death, Emma, taunts and follows Killian Jones as he escapes her grasp countless times, up until the day he doesn’t.

Emma is a witch living on an enchanted island by herself, Killian is the sole sailor who washes up on her shores.

Killian finds himself wandering into an abandoned castle, haunted by the princess who died there.

Emma is the necromancer that Killian hires to bring his deceased brother back from the grave.

Killian finds twelve ghost princesses dancing in the forest, and somehow, has caught the attention of one of them.

In the middle of the night, Emma finds that stone statue in her palace has come to life: the likeness of Killian Jones, a deceased naval captain.

During one of this sea voyages, Killian meets and falls in love with a woman he finds floating in the water. It’s only after they part that one of his crew tells him that Emma Swan has been dead for over a hundred years.

Character A is a plague doctor, Character B is on their deathbed.

Hook is lost in the Dark Woods of Neverland, and Emma is the queen that reigns over them. If he wants to make it back to his ship, he’ll have to go through the queen first.

Emma is spirit of death/temptress/etc who takes the lives of men by sleeping with them. The only men she doesn’t want to kill is the only man she really wants to sleep with.

Zombie Snow White!AU except the character in a sleeping curse has started to decay and when woken by TLK, never truly comes fully back to life.

Emma Swan is a fallen angel who takes out her rage on a spiteful pirate, but little does she know, there’s not she can do to him that he hasn’t lived through already.

Killian is the necromancer in charge of bringing Princess Emma back to life, but for some reason, he can’t bring back her life, and instead, only relive her memories in his own mind.

Emma grows up alone on the streets selling matches with her imaginary friend, the ghost of a dead boy who died in slavery.

Prompts based off of specific fairy tales

Beauty and the Beast AU: Person A is the only person alive who doesn’t see person B’s cursed appearance. Person B has no idea that they don’t appear as a beast to person A.

Cinderella!AU where Killian and Emma are both commoners crashing the king’s party in hopes of finding true love. The one who gets left behind has a seriously harder time finding the one who got away.

Cinderella!AU where Pirate Killian steals a princess’ pair of glass slippers and gives them to his first mate, Emma. They’re a perfect fit.

Peter Pan AU where Emma has secretly been growing up and turns to Pan’s enemy to help get her off of the island. She much prefers her life as a pirate to her old one as a lost girl, anyhow.

Prince Killian of the Sea loses his favorite ring (or other beloved object) on shore and goes above land to find it. Emma, thief extraordinaire, helps him find it and steal it back. (Based off of Barabara Picard’s, “The Coral Comb.” )

Royal Killian finds Emma, a stranger without her memories. They fall in love, marry, but when Killian discovers that  she’s actually a fairy, he has to choose between her happiness and their marriage. (Based off of Barbara Picard’s story, “Count Alaric’s Lady”).

In the actual fairy tale, the only way they can stay together is if their love for one another is true.

Killian is an artist who is thrown in the royal dungeons for not accurately painting the king. Princess Emma sees him and they begin a forbidden love affair. (Based off of Barbara Picard’s story “The Blackbird’s Song”).

Princess Emma must pick one of many suitors to marry. Prince Killian is on his way to be considered, when an evil witch turns him into a dog. Princess Emma finds the dog. (Based off of Picard’s “The White Hound”).

In the original fairy tale, the prince has 2 minutes at midnight on the night of the full moon to talk with his full voice. This is how the princess realizes he’s actually a man and not a  dog.

Emma grows up playing in the forest, where she continually meets a mysterious woodland man, Killian (as a wood nymph/faun/fairy/elf/etc), but the second he leaves her side, she loses her memories of him. She returns to the forest, though, because her heart knows she has a reason to. They grow closer up until the day her step-mother/grandmother makes her marry someone else. (Based off of Picard’s “The Faun and the Woodcutter’s Daughter”). 

Is the fairy tale, the faun comes to the daughter’s rescue on the day of her wedding, but ultimately she saves herself.

This story also works genderswapped. Perhaps Emma is the wood nymph/fairy and Killian is the Harbormaster’s brother.

Snow white!AU: Character A is a mercenary hired by the queen to kill character B. They stumble into each other and form an unlikely team. Ultimately character A just can’t kill character B.

Prompts based off of mythology

A fic based off of the story of Greek astronomer, Endymion, who has a love affair with the moon goddess, Selene.

A fic based off of Hades and Persephone, where with Emma or Killian is the ruler of the underworld.

A romance between the goddess of the sun and the god of the moon.

Alternatively, the goddess of the land and the god of the sea.

Character A declares to the heavens that they won’t ever fall in love. Aphrodite sees this as a challenge. They stumble into character B the next day.

A mortal falls in love with a god/dess and goes about the strangest ways in getting their attention and favor.

King Midas!AU: Everything character A touches turns to gold, everything except character B.

Emma is one of the huntresses of Artemis. After being scorned by love before, she swears off men. On one of her hunts, she meets a sailor who makes her change her mind.

The gods in olympus think Character A would be great for character B. The two mortals can’t figure out why they keep running into each other, but it’s really because of a plan that’s a bit more...divine.

Killian Jones has spent his entire life at sea fearing the storms, but he has never considered loving them, especially not the goddess who makes them.

Smutty Fairy Tale Prompts

Royal person A has taken notice to the way person B stares at them as they work about the castle.

Character A is a sculptor for the royal family and gets well acquainted with the body of the prince/princess.

A couple in a forbidden love affair escape to the enchanted woods to consummate their love.

A couple separated by distance can communicate with a magic mirror. Character A just doesn’t account for character B accidentally “stepping in” when they pleasure themselves, but they realize they can have some fun.

Who doesn’t love a good femme fatale?

Princess Emma has eyes for her protector and intends to have him.

This is a fairly general, common prompt, but I felt I should still give credit to a fic that has already done exactly this: Frustrated, Princess? by YouSaidWho on Ao3.

A pair of strangers share a passionate night together, only to find out character A is the royal and is actually in an arranged engagement to character B.

[political-fluffle]

Andy Khawaja: ‘The whistleblower’

Andy Khawaja is charged with campaign finance violations. He says there’s a bigger story

(…)

‘They fucked me, Paul, they fucked me. First, they destroyed my business. Now they’re coming after me.’ Andy Khawaja believes he’s being persecuted because of what he knows. And what he knows, he tells me, is that Saudi Arabia and the Emirate of Abu Dhabi bought the 2016 election for Donald Trump. (…)

Khawaja claims the Saudis and the Emiratis illegally paid tens or even hundreds of millions of dollars to the Trump campaign in 2016. He says that to keep it secret, they disguised the money as small donations from Americans, using stolen identities and ‘virtual credit cards’ or gift cards — donations of less than $200 do not have to be reported to the Federal Election Commission and made public. He claims the Saudis and the Emiratis were able to make thousands of such small donations at a time using the latest payment processing technology. Khawaja knows this, he says, because he sold the know-how to their middleman, George Nader, who will be the central character in this story.

All those supposedly involved in this have issued denials or preferred not to comment. They include Nader’s lawyers; the Saudi and Emirati embassies in Washington, DC; the Trump campaign and the Republican National Committee; and Stripe, the company that took credit card payments for them both during the election. Khawaja says he’s tried and failed to get the FBI to investigate. The Bureau isn’t saying what it makes of his story. Khawaja also says he has spoken to a National Security Council member, a congressman, a senator and a former general. Nothing has come of that, either. Meanwhile, his life has been shattered, his company wrecked. But he believes he will be vindicated in the end. (…)

Payment processing is Khawaja’s business. He knows credit cards and he knows how to move money. He may also know how to move money secretly.

In early 2016, Khawaja wanted to create an online shopping mall for the Middle East, an Arab Amazon. He needed investors. Enter George Nader. Like Khawaja, Nader is Lebanese-American. His name might be familiar because he was a witness in the Mueller inquiry. In January 2017, Nader set up a meeting in the Seychelles that he apparently hoped would establish a back channel between the Trump administration and the Kremlin. He’s now awaiting sentence in the US, a convicted pedophile. (…)

Khawaja says that in September 2016, Nader told him why he needed the payment engine. Abu Dhabi wanted help making ‘online micropayments’ in bulk to the Trump campaign and the RNC. He describes Nader asking for help to make it work: ‘How can we generate electronic payouts to the online donation websites? I would like you to show us how we would be able to do that.’

Khawaja wasn’t taking notes or recording these conversations. These are his recollections of what Nader said, and we have only his word. He remembers Nader explaining why they wanted to fund the Trump campaign. According to Khawaja, Nader said: ‘I’ve been meeting with the Trump campaign people…we have a deal with Trump: my boss, His Highness, made a deal that if we help Trump get elected, he’s going to be harsh on Iran, he’s going to take out the nuclear deal that the Obama administration made. That will cripple the Iranian economy and will sanction Iran from selling oil again. It will make it very difficult for them to compete in the oil market. That’s worth a hundred billion dollars to us. That’s the reason we cannot allow Hillary to win at any cost. She must lose.’ (…)

The plot to buy the election was still taking shape, Khawaja says, when he walked away: Nader would have to develop the payment engine without his help. He heard nothing more until January 2017, after Trump had won and was preparing to take office. Khawaja says he gave Nader ‘a couple of spare tickets’ to events at the Inauguration. He describes Nader sitting at his table, smiling and saying, ‘You see, I told you, I told you Trump was going to win.’

Khawaja remembers Nader telling him that Trump’s first foreign trip would be to Riyadh, to ‘celebrate’ with MbS and MbZ: ‘They’re the ones that got him elected.’ There was more — Saudi Arabia and the UAE would announce a blockade of their rival, Qatar, and Trump would support it.

Trump did, in fact, make his first foreign trip to Riyadh, in May 2017. And he did support the blockade of Qatar, which began in June 2017. Khawaja says Nader told him during their talk at the Inauguration that they had put ‘a few hundred million’ into the effort to elect Trump. At the fish restaurant, I ask Khawaja if he thinks the payments are continuing today. ‘One hundred percent.’ (…)

While there is no hard evidence that Khawaja’s story is true, his account is supported by two witnesses. On our night out in Beirut, we meet another businessman who dealt with Nader in the UAE. This man, who arrives in a silver Rolls Royce, recalls that he, too, was asked by Nader to sell him a credit card payments gateway in 2016, and that Nader mentioned a connection to the UAE. He remembers Nader seeming almost desperate to acquire the gateway.

And it seems that Nader told at least one other person about the small-dollar donations. Around the time of the 2016 election, a friend of Nader’s for 30 years says he saw him for lunch at the Beverly Wilshire hotel in Los Angeles. This man’s recollections of what Nader said are remarkably similar to Khawaja’s. He also says that Nader told him he was getting $12 million a month from the royal court in Abu Dhabi to run the election operation: ‘He finally got his big payday.’ (…)

Nader did tell me that he had been to the White House ‘a dozen times’ to help set up Trump’s visit to Riyadh. If this is true, was Nader acting as an unregistered agent of Saudi Arabia and the UAE? After I saw him in Abu Dhabi, I met a senior Emirati diplomat in Washington, DC. He remembered Nader ‘frantically banging on the embassy’s door’ after Mueller’s team had arrested him at the airport. But, he said, the UAE had been careful to stay ‘35,000 feet above the US election’. (…)

There remains the question of Trump’s phenomenal fundraising among small donors. Barack Obama reinvented online fundraising and in 2012 small donations provided 28 percent of his campaign budget. In 2016, only 22 percent of Hillary Clinton’s campaign money came from small donors. In the same year, 69 percent of all the money the Trump campaign raised came from individuals giving less than $200 each. And — a slightly different measure — in one quarter last year, 99 percent of Trump’s contributors were small donors. (…)

‘How do you like that title? I’m the whistleblower, Paul, the whistleblower. The whistleblower who revealed foreign government interference in our election has been charged to cover up for the Trump administration. Falsely accused and charged…it’s Operation Suffocation, Operation Choke Point. End-to-end. Take him out. Kill him. They tried to frame me so bad. At the end of the day, I sleep like a baby at night. Because I know I didn’t do anything. I am the whistleblower.’