#also probably just good old fashioned busybodies being busybodies

[jodjuya]

it should be mentioned here that AT ONE POINT during the discussions an email was sent from TLA saying chuck is allowed to come and wear his mask in the exhibition halls and smaller panels, just not at any of the big PAID PANELS i was once supposed to participate on. this was a confusing offer, but their explanation was that people who paid for something should have the option to not see chucks 'scary neurodivergence aid'. i tried to wrap my head around WHY they would make a distinction. maybe the exchange of money (rather than time) causes some kind of philosophical adjustment that i just cant grasp?

I can grasp it. I can see through this instantly.

The philosophical adjustment here is a gatekeeping of professionalism, a gatekeeping of performative humility/performative formality, to 'prove' that you are taking things seriously and respectfully.

It's the masking that neurotypical people do without ever even realising that they're doing masking.

And because it's so deeply ingrained in their psyche and culture, whenever anybody doesn't perform it correctly enough they take it to be a personal affront.

Because whenever the neurotypicals don't perform 'professionalism' (when and where they 'should' be doing so), they're almost always intentionally not doing so in order to convey contempt.

So, to their mind, that's the ONLY reason why somebody else would intentionally fail to perform 'professionalism', because that person thinks they're so much better than you that they can afford to spit in your face (metaphorically speaking) in that way.

This performative respect is usually for the sake of streamlining social interactions by way of conveying/policing conformity for the sake of it (to reduce unpredictability via having everybody stick to the script) and by way of conveying/policing explicit deference (to reduce conflict by not bruising the egos of authoritarians who will get Very Upset at this).

E.g.

"look at me when I'm speaking to you!"

"sit up straight when I'm speaking to you!"

(and so on and so forth; all the different things that adults command when giving a child a dressing-down)

"you have to wear a suit when you go to court!"

"you can't have fidget toys on your desk at work!"

using your 'Customer Service Voice'

Using "sir" and "ma'am" when speaking to people, or using someone's title rather than their name (I presume this is the case, anyway. I'm Australian and by and large we just Don't Do That down here)

Et cetera, et cetera

Heck, all of neurodivergent masking fits here under this category tbh.

But anyway, yeah, stuff like a panelist wearing a niqab is fine, because that doesn't violate 'professionalism'; Chuck Tingle wearing his mask in the exhibition hall and on smaller panels is fine, because those specific environments don't have the more formal atmosphere/Sense Of Importance that the headline events have, so 'professionalism' is permitted to be relaxed there; mascot suit folks perform 'professionalism' BY wearing their mask, that's literally their professional role they're being paid to perform; spiderbud wearing their mask for a costume event doesn't violate 'professionalism', because random members of the public aren't subject to the policing of 'professionalism' in the environment of Attendees at an Art Convention.

But yeah, as Tingle noted, it's kinda baffling as to why an artistic convention would be so uptight about artists Being Weird.

(Maybe it's also somewhat influenced by that pernicious, insecurity-driven, pretentious snobbery afflicting some people who are Into Literature, idk.

i.e. Being Weird And Silly is only for visual artists and musicians—those lowbrow """artists""" who cater to the great unwashed masses—not for us highbrow nerds who like reading books so much that we make "I don't watch television" into a core personality trait.

(see also: "things for youths" versus "things for adults". Whooole lot of policing going on around those boarders RE 'acceptable' interests/behaviours, and that probably comes into play here too, wherein Being Weird by wearing a Chuck Tingle mask isn't 'appropriate' because "that's just not what adults do" - it's not 'age-appropriate' behaviour (buuuuut let's be real here, the people who are uptight about this would still also be uptight about a child wearing a bright-pink sack over their head in public too; there is no age where "you need to act your age" stops being a valid criticism in the eyes of these uptight Fun Police (maybe toddlers are the one exception to this, maybe)))

(but it's probably just mostly the 'cowardly capitulation to fascist state governments' thing)

But through either ignorance or shame, they can't acknowledge any of those reasons, or admit that those reasons don't actually matter whatsoever, and so they reach for the nearest mealy mouthed excuse "oh it's for safety" to attempt to dodge accountability because they think that's an excuse which is immune to criticism (maybe because they've internalised the fascist government inclinations towards dismantling privacy and freedom for the sake of 'security' BUT I DIGRESS).

It's bullshit, all bullshit.)

THE TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION TELLS CHUCK TINGLE TO STAY HOME BUT WE PROVE LOVE ANYWAY

just when you buckaroos thought 2024 would be a break from book drama, here comes chuck tingle in the mix. recently i was asked to be a featured speaker at the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION annual conference. a few days ago they rescinded my invitation. here is what happened.

(EDITED TO ADD THIS LINK. if you have a hard time reading this on way of tumblr you can also read for free on chucks patreon)

i would like to start off by saying it is not my intent to start a fight, and all those reading this should know that the actions of a few misguided folks do not speak for the whole TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION. i am sure there are many involved who will be very upset to learn what others at TLA have done in their name. there are many individuals here, so please do not paint them all as villains in your mind. besides, chuck loves the dang library everyone knows that.

the point of writing this is not to vilify. i am writing this is because MOMENTS OF DARKNESS are the best places to SHINE A LIGHT AND PROVE LOVE IS REAL. this is a perfect time for learning and growing and for us talk on some very important things that queer buckaroos and neurodivergent buckaroos face every day. this is an unfortunate moment that WE can turn around and use to prove love is real.

i am also writing this to understand some of my own personal feelings on the matter. for something that seems very simple on the surface, the trot is complex, and i am still working out my emotions on the whole dang thing. i am learning in this way.

PART ONE: BAG OF LOVE

a few months ago chuck was asked to be a featured speaker at the 2024 TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION ANNUAL CONFERENCE. i have been asked to do things like the before and it is ALWAYS a fun time to meet bookseller and librarian buds. trotting around face to face and talking about my story of conquering chronic pain and overcoming my mental hurdles is VERY IMPORTANT to me. i say YES to these things whenever i can. (here i am with authors at CALIFORNIA INDEPENDENT BOOKSELLERS ALLIANCE conference. they are a WONDERFUL group and they proved love with their OWN invitation to chuck. this was such a moving event with so many amazing authors and stories. got very teared up during this photo)

ANYWAY BUCKAROOS i get the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION invite and say 'YES BUD LETS TROT'. we are then confirmed.

months pass. a few weeks ago i get a call from my manager and agent and publisher saying ‘the TLA have rescinded their invitation.’

turns out some things had been going on behind the scenes

at some point the TLA asked chucks INCREDIBLE HEROIC BAD ASS PUBLISHER if chuck would be okay with not wearing the mask, to which tor/nightfire/macmillan said ‘what the heck are you talking about of course chuck is going to wear his mask. this is how chuck presents himself’ (NOT EXACT QUOTE)

as you all know, my pink bag way is a VERY IMPORTANT SPACE. as an autistic buckaroo it is a boundary that allows me to express myself freely and relieve my chronic pain from neurotypically masking all day. i have talked about this for years, and it is why i consider my private identity a SACRED THING. it is literally a health issue.

fortunately THE PINK BAG is never really a problem when making appearances. i have spent years going on television shows, doing interviews, speaking at other conferences and conventions, hosting book events on tour, and even MEETING WITH LAWYERS in my pink face covering. it is always respected and that is very validating to my way.

when arriving anywhere i always take precautions. i always warn buckaroos ahead of time that there is a masked man coming. i always have someone go in ahead of me JUST IN CASE. again, there has never been an issue. at a big conference where i am a special guest there is ESPECIALLY not an issue because my face and bio are printed IN THE DANG PROGRAM

SOME FUN TIMES AT BIG EVENTS BELOW:

CHUCK ON TV SHOW NAME OF 'AT MIDNIGHT' BACK BEFORE I WROTE LOVE IS REAL ON MY HEAD:

well, there has never been an issue.... UNTIL NOW.

PART TWO: RESCINDED

a few days ago TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION suddenly messaged my publishers and said that chuck tingle is no longer invited. my invitation was rescinded. the reason given was that people could possibly be uncomfortable with my mask

right out of the gate i would like to say this: it is absolutely the right of the texas library association to disinvite someone from their conference. it is their event, after all, and they can ban anyone they would like, for any reason.

of course, that doesnt mean other folks HEARING THIS NEWS wont have their own opinions the TLA choices. if the TLA disinvites someone, their reasoning for doing this can be discussed and analyzed. whether or not they follow their own guidelines can be questioned, and certainly their kindness and tact can be considered

there are a few BIG POINTS to make regarding this choice from the TLA

first and foremost, i just gotta say buckaroos, it is incredibly rude to invite someone to be a guest speaker at your event, have them confirm and mark off their calendar and turn down other offers, then rescind their invitation. this is maybe the simplest of the points, but it is an important one.

second, (DEEP BREATH HERE WE GO BUCKAROOS) i personally do not think of my autism as a disability very often, but i also KNOW that despite these feelings it ABSOLUTELY IS. autism is important to be listed as a recognized disability because of the help some autistic buckaroos need regarding government programs and things like that. ALSO just because my neurodivergence has helped me in some ways (hyperfocus and a unique artistic sensibility for example). i personally need to step back and remember my battle with stress and chronic pain from having to neurotypically mask all the time. for as much as i love being autistic it has made some things very difficult.

in other words, i am perfectly capable of speaking and interacting with folks without this pink bag on my head BUT WHEN I AM IN THE CHUCK TINGLE SPACE I REQUIRE IT. i can ONLY use this space while covering my face. is not a want. it is a need. holding this boundary is more important than i can ever say. i will not, and can not, let these spaces cross.

TLA not letting an autistic author wear the face cover theyve set up to express their neurodivergence in a safe, healthy way is--for lack of a better term--NOT A GOOD LOOK.

i cannot fathom them disinviting another author for using a disability aid. i cannot fathom them saying that a buckaroo who hears better with a hearing device cannot use it during their panel because it would make others 'uncomfortable'.

but here we are.

PART THREE: WHAT DOES A BUCKAROO GOTTA DO TO GET BANNED AROUND HERE?

this is the TLAs official stance on disability issues according to their website:

when poking around on the TLA website i noticed a few other things. i noticed a previous guest speaker wearing a niqab, and i was left wondering if the religious significance is what make that okay but chuck tingle banned. that made sense until i looked deeper and saw mascot buckaroos dressed up on the exhibition floor, and saw some kind of spiderbud in a costume contest. nobody around them seemed to be all that scared. their invitations REMAINED INTACT.

it should be mentioned here that AT ONE POINT during the discussions an email was sent from TLA saying chuck is allowed to come and wear his mask in the exhibition halls and smaller panels, just not at any of the big PAID PANELS i was once supposed to participate on. this was a confusing offer, but their explanation was that people who paid for something should have the option to not see chucks 'scary neurodivergence aid'. i tried to wrap my head around WHY they would make a distinction. maybe the exchange of money (rather than time) causes some kind of philosophical adjustment that i just cant grasp?

i wonder, would the author who wears a niqab ALSO be banned from the paid panels? i hope not

my answers trotted up short until i investigated deeper and found this quick moment from one of the TLA help videos. while some events DO require additional buckaroo cash, it actually appears that THE ENTIRE CONFERENCE IS TICKETED AND COSTS MONEY.

at this point i realized there is clearly no actual official policy about not covering your face (other than one from a few years ago saying that you HAVE to cover your face), and the addition of 'money' is a red herring. these excuses make no sense

PART FOUR: CLOSE THOSE GATES

it appears that my neurodivergence is 'scary' enough to get me uninvited, REGARDLESS what their disability and mask policies may say

BUT WHY? why is chucks preferred physical presentation valued SO little by the TLA that a THEORETICAL complaint is worth more? is my neurodivergent expression so awful? is my own safety as a queer activist such an afterthought?

is a pink bag with the words 'love is real' scrawled across the front REALLY going to frighten someone when the posters and pamphlets on the way into in panel would have a photo of my masked face saying THIS IS LITERALLY WHO IS ABOUT TO APPEAR BEFORE YOU.

if THAT accommodation is too much, would it really be so difficult to have someone trot out beforehand and make an announcement? to say 'there is someone on this upcoming panel who needs a mask to express this part of himself, if this makes you uncomfortable then this panel might not be for you'.

and really, i have to heckin ask, is this physical expression of my raw inner truth really so hideous and frightening that fear of making someone uncomfortable is a REAL problem?

(a terrifying display of autism. apparently)

i cannot imagine what kind of precautions they need to take before a stage play featuring costumes and masks.

you MIGHT think chucks queerness and left leaning politics could be the issue with this organization, but they have had drag queens as past speakers (also featuring some GLORIOUS makeup and hair that covers almost all of their faces. VERY CURIOUS). regardless, the TLA do not seem like a conservative bunch.

if you are bisexual or an autistic person who is good at 'passing' you probably already know where this is headed, your dang spiderbuckaroo senses are tingling at FULL ALERT. i will say i do not KNOW the real reason why i was uninvited, and i do not have enough information to make any concrete statement of the real answer. there is only evidence that masks have been fine at TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION events in the past, but not much else to go on.

so the FACTS part of our discussion ends there, but i think it opens us up to talk about some very important feelings that bisexual and autistic buckaroos know well.

THIS is where we take a unfortunate, hurtful moment and turn it into a discussion. this is where we prove love is real.

as someone who is constantly doubted and put through purity tests because of my unique way, we are pushing up against a subject i know well. thats right buckaroos: we are talking GATEKEEPING

AGAIN, i do not know if this is the answer, but someone in my position might be VERY STRONGLY INCLINED TO THINK that a few well-meaning left leaning buckaroos think i am a joke and that this is a character, and that there is something problematic about my work because i am not really a real person.

any upstanding left leaning organization would OF COURSE allow a mask for a neurodivergent buckaroo with an unusual visual presentation, an autistic buckaroo who conquered his chronic pain ONLY by creating this important space... but what about a FAKE autistic buckaroo?

any upstanding left leaning organization would OF COURSE allow a mask for a queer LGBTQ activist standing up for gay and trans rights against a torrent of scoundrels hunting for his legal identity. its a matter of safety... but what about a FAKE queer activist?

let me be very clear for the 100th time: i am a real person. this is not a joke. i am not playing a character. i am really autistic and bisexual. tinglers are sincere and they are not ‘so bad theyre good’. they are just good. camp damascus is not ‘my first serious book’ because my queer erotica is serious. my art is important and real.

when people tell me to unmask they often do not know WHY they want it, and of course one very good reason is innocent curiosity. but there are SOME cases where i start to get THAT feeling--that tingle all of us ‘passing’ buckaroos get when we can sense the real intent behind the poking and prodding. that is the feeling of stumbling into a gatekeepers crosshairs.

if i was to take off my pink bag, what about my face would you analyze to tell if i was REALLY queer. my eye color? my ear shape? if you learned my legal name, would you see if it sounded autistic? is my voice neurodivergent enough?

or is all of that utterly absurd? i am curious what the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION thinks.

PART FIVE: GENDERED

this will be the shortest of parts, but it has to be said. i have a very complex relationship with gender, as written about at length here and here. i understand these things can be difficult to parse for some, but i ask that you trust me when i say that the ONLY reason i have been able to talk about my gender and sexuality and learn these things about myself is because of this pink bag. this outward appearance is a direct expression and reflection of my gender journey.

if the texas library association does not care about my appearance as an expression of my autism, then i cant imagine them giving a dang about it as an expression of my gender and queerness. that being said, it is personally very important to me and i think it should be mentioned

PART SIX: SO YOU WANT TO REMOVE AN AUTISTIC QUEER AUTHOR FROM YOUR EVENT BECAUSE PEOPLE MIGHT FIND THEIR DIFFERENCES SCARY

there is a question to be asked here: how could the TLA have done this correctly?

i have one very big piece of advice i would like to shout from the rooftops. please, for the love of sweet barbara, DO ENOUGH RESEARCH to know if this appearance will be a problem and, IF SO, dont extend an invitation in the first place. unique buckaroos with different presentations are constantly left in this place of limbo because we are bombarded with careless actions like those of the TLA. before you consider extending a branch to an artist who might need more accommodations than usual, think to yourself 'CAN WE MAKE THESE ACCOMMODATIONS?'

putting all of this on the shoulders of a single 'buckaroo with a difference' is exhausting. as the TLA has shown, we currently live on a timeline where a buckaroo like myself never really knows if an invite is SOLID without doing a deep dive history lesson on how often a group discriminates and against who.

i did not want to spend my whole family holiday worrying whether or not i should say something publicly or just lie down and shut my dang mouth. i had to consider HOW i should say it. i had to worry whether or not its worth standing up for myself in the face of the largest state library association in the country. i think buckaroos with differences are with me when i say: WE ARE SICK OF HAVING TO DO THIS WORK TO COVER FOR THE POOR BEHAVIOR OF LARGE ORGANIZATIONS WHO TREAT US BADLY

another option would just be to use kindness and common sense and happily accommodate artists with unique presentations to your conventions

PART SEVEN: LOVE IS STILL REAL

i would like to close by saying THANK YOU to my publisher nightfire and editor kelly for standing up for me. they immediately stood firm and had my back. they are the real dang deal. THANK YOU to my management and agent buds dongwon and gino for trotting along beside me. THANK YOU to the folks at the texas library association who initially invited chuck with goodness in their heart and then likely got bowled over by someone else, and maybe even got knocked to the side by a big closing gate.

i hope there are librarians in texas who are still interested in carrying BURY YOUR GAYS when it comes out (which is ironically about someone who creates a space through art to express their queerness where they cant otherwise). libraries prove love is real and what they do IS SO IMPORTANT. it was SO IMPORTANT TO ME as a young buckaroo and i cannot thank you enough. i am not sure if me writing all of this will hurt my sales in some way, but this opportunity to speak about the reality of disability awareness and queer gatekeeping is too important to stay silent. (if you have not already preordered BURY YOUR GAYS then give it a preorder to make up for some texas library losses i guess.)

which leads me to my final thank you. THANK YOU to the buckaroos reading this. yes YOU. i am in the position to stand up and speak my mind against scoundrel forces ONLY because i have the might of you buckaroos by my side. the buckaroo trot is ALL OF OUR TROT and we are ALL HERE TO PROVE LOVE. i cannot tell you how much i appreciate the way you have created a space for me to express these important parts of myself. you have seen this pink mask over my face and saying YES, I ACCEPT YOU, you have literally saved my life. for that i am so thankful.

if you are UPSET by what youve read here, then turn it into something positive. you can support autistic creators, or make a donation to the AUTISTIC SELF ADVOCACY NETWORK

and besides WHO IS REALLY MISSING OUT? this is what it looks like when you invite the worlds greatest author chuck tingle to your event and treat their identity as valid. WE HAVE A DANG GOOD TIME

KEEP TROTTING INTO THE FUTURE. KEEP KICKING DOWN GATES WHEREVER THEY MAY BE. KEEP PROVING LOVE IS REAL AND PROVING IT TOGETHER. lets go buckaroos - chuck

UPDATE AN HOUR AFTER POSTING:

true buckaroo TJ KLUNE was set to be another author on panel chuck was removed from and has informed me he has now chosen to decline his invitation in support and solidarity with chuck. i am so deeply moved by this. thank you from bottom of heart buckaroo

to be very clear TJ has a huge platform and DOES NOT NEED TO DO THIS. these conferences are great for book sales and he is taking a hit out of pure solidarity. this is queer buckaroos standing up for eachother. i am floored by this kindness and love

please consider checking out his books if they are not already covering your dang bookshelf. chuck blurbed IN THE LIVES OF PUPPETS and i was blown away i heckin loved it

MOST RECENT UPDATE:

here is more

[stuff-from-the-void-matron]

Laurel Wreaths & Animal Teeth (4)

(c!Technoblade x fem!Reader)

(people seem to like this for now but remember, no reblogs/comments then i’m gonna assume people lost interest. so show u enjoy this please!! <3 also someone drew fanart of Reader, check it out at the bottom! :3c)

-------------

“Come ON Wilbur! Come with me to check out the huge village I found the other week!” shouted Tommy while making sure to get in his older brother’s way as much as possible. He figured if Wilbur was focused on him and not whatever ‘super important’ shit he was busy with then he’d join him.

Wilbur meanwhile was doing everything he could to sidestep and ignore said younger brother. Now usually he’d humor the much younger boy but Wilbur was sorta busy at the moment. There’s been murmurs of unrest within the L’manburg territory lately since new faces have joined their country. 

Apparently they weren’t happy about the fact that Wilbur was a self appointed president, and likened him to a dictator because of it since no one got a say in his leadership role. Which Wilbur thought was highly unfair. He’d fought tooth and nail for his country, so they could have and enjoy all the freedoms to do as they pleased without Dream and his cronies breathing down their necks.

Everything he did he did for his country. But he didn’t want them to see him as some unsympathetic tyrant who didn’t listen to his people. He’s not Dream, he actually listens when they speak, even when they say they don’t like his self appointed role as president. So yes, Wilbur was sort of busy with more important things than goofing off and finding some random village. But instead of snapping he just sighed and said,

“Tommy, I’m working. We’re supposed to be running a country, remember?”

The aforementioned boy let out an aggravated sigh, he knows they have a duty to L’Manburg, he’s not stupid! But he also knows they need to be allowed to have some fun now and again too! Or they’ll go crazy! And Tommy was sure Wilbur would go mad if he stayed cooped up inside all the time working! So this was his way of dragging his brother out for his own good.

But Wilbur was being especially stubborn (wonder where Tommy got it…) and was refusing to budge. 

“I don’t have time right now Tommy! Ask Tubbo or Fundy to tag along. I’m sure they’d love to go vandalize a village with you,” Wilbur distractedly said as he wrote down some notes in one of his books. 

Tommy was tired of fighting Wilbur on this and decided to hell with it, he’d just take the L this time. So he scoffed and said “Whatever” in the most pissed off teen voice he could physically summon and turned away from Wilbur and stormed out of the brunet president’s house, making sure to slam the wooden door as hard as he could on his way out. 

It seemed like all Wilbur did was mope around and WORK since they’d won independence from the Dream SMP. What the hell was the point of even FIGHTING for said freedom if Wilbur wasn’t even going to enjoy it?? 

Tommy pushed those thoughts away and went to search out Tubbo, he could always count on his best friend to follow him into some mischief! Unlike SOME people. And thankfully it didn’t take the rambunctious blond long to find his friend, and with a grin he ran and jumped on the shorter boy, making him yelp in shock and nearly fall. But then Tubbo saw who it was and started laughing and shoving the taller boy away half heartedly. But after goofing around a bit Tommy remembers why he’d searched out Tubbo in the first place.

“Oi Tubbo, come with me to this weird village I found the other week. I was gonna explore it when I found it but Wilbur said there was an emergency and I had to leave before I could,” he said as they both walked along the main path.

“Yeah sure, but why was it ‘weird’? Was it one of those ones that’s built somewhere stupid like half on a cliff?” Tubbo asked with a laugh. 

The two laughed and Tommy explained that the village just looked different? Like there was no cobble! Which was ridiculous because in his opinion that was the best part of villages was all the cobble buildings. Not that he was biased or anything like an American. 

But Tubbo just laughed and said sure, they could go check it out. He didn’t have anything else important to do today anyways. Tommy gave a triumphant ‘yeah!!’ because at least he got ONE of his friends to not be a total loser and go out to have some good old fashioned fun with him. 

Tubbo told him to lead the way so they were off.

-0-

Many blocks away in your village you were getting out of your ‘shower’, which was really just a waterfall hidden by thick trees and hanging vines behind your temple home. But it was the best shower you’d ever used thanks to how the water fell over you in huge sheets. You’d honestly stay in it for hours if you didn’t hate being bored just standing there. But you did get bored, so you got out and began drying off.

Once you were dry you started getting dressed in your usual outfit, then once done you paused before reaching down to grab the newest item of your outfit..

Your mask.

...

After your… horn discovery the week before you’d just laid in bed all day for a couple days. Not leaving your temple for any reason, not even to shower or eat. You’d have been feeling worse if you’d actually needed food but thankfully you didn’t, so when you finally got your ass in gear and got up to bathe you only felt marginally like shit. At least you had until you went to go bathe…...

But on that first day up you’d just stared at yourself in the reflection of the water and sighed. You didn’t have the urge to cry anymore, so that was a good thing. But you also weren’t a fan of the new horns or glowing eyes you’d had since ending up here. You weren’t even sure what KIND of horns these were?? And… call you crazy but you SWEAR they were bigger than they were before your stint laying in bed..

They’d only been little nubs before, not even as big as your thumb! But now they were at least five inches long and sort of splitting at the tips? It looked weird and honestly felt even weirder what with that velvety texture covering them. You made the foolish mistake of grumbling to yourself, 

“Things couldn’t get weirder, right?”

And as if the universe heard you… you discovered a new ‘appendage’ on your body while you started to wash your body off. You’d been lost in thought, just scrubbing yourself with a soapy washcloth when you’d started reaching around to wash your back, your washcloth brushed against something protruding from the base of your spine, right above your ass. This time you didn’t start panicking, you think you were still worn out from the days previous, so instead of freaking out you just slowly craned your neck around to see if you could glimpse the...thing.

A tail. 

You blinked, shocked but also.. confused? What in the absolute fuck? Why? When?? This time there was no sobbing or breakdown, you were honestly just puzzled. Are you ever going to STOP growing animal traits or what? Under any other circumstances you might even call the tail cute. It was small, probably just smaller than your hand and about the same shape too. And the majority of the top of it was the same color as your hair, but the sides (and underside after you got curious enough to look under it) were a soft white. With how you were in water the tail looked rather unimpressive and you couldn’t identify what kind of tail it was, but if it was at all connected to the horns then maybe deer? Or caribou? Reindeer? The last two seemed more likely since those animals’ females actually grew antlers you think. 

Having to adjust to all this new shit practically every other day was giving you a headache. With a tired sigh you rubbed the area around the base of your antlers, soothed slightly by how the action dulled your headache. But you couldn’t ignore the issue at hand, so you swallowed down your unease and instead just decided since you couldn’t control these… unnatural features then.. well, you’d just cover them up or since that wasn’t possible for the horns now you’d just disguise them?

You’d been stumped for a while on how to even DO that but eventually you’d gone down to the village to feed the animals and you’d watched the armorer leave his house to get started working for the day. And you’d noticed the mask he wore pushed up on his forehead. That’s when the idea for a mask hit you. But you didn’t know how to make or even craft a mask, so you’d gone to the armorer and asked him about it. It was hard to grasp what he was saying clearly but after the months living with the villagers you’d picked up some stuff and could understand them some.

So you let him show you how to make a standard iron mask like his, though the first one he’d made hadn’t fit you in the end so he’d made a second after tweaking the size a bit so it’d fit your face right, since your face shapes weren’t the same. But you were thankful and said so after you put it on. Though the eye holes still revealed your eyes, which you didn’t like. You asked how hard it would be to put reflective lenses in them to prevent your eyes from being seen.

That question turned into the armorer calling over the cartographer, the stonemason, and the shepherd oddly enough to help him out. They were murmuring and crowding around the armorer’s workstation while you watched from the edge of the porch where you sat idly. You didn’t want to hover over them like some busybody, so you sat patiently to see what they came up with together. 

And after a while your patience was rewarded when they came over to show you the fruit of their collaboration. And it surprised you how gorgeous it was, which wasn’t fair since you had 4 skill masters working on it together for you.

The mask was actually very beautiful. 

It was a white half mask that only covered your eyes, forehead, and upper nose/cheeks but left the lower half of your face bare. And you think it was simply painted white because it felt about as heavy as iron, but the part that amazed you was how it almost looked Venetian in design. On the forehead of the mask was a golden sun, and golden floral swirls came from the corners of the mask and curled near the cheeks and sides of the sun on the forehead, making the mask look elegant and almost vintage.

But the best parts in your opinion were the glass lenses in the eye holes. They were reflective and the same colors as your banner! You don’t know how the villagers did it but the edges of the lens were a goldish orange and the color faded into a violet in the center. You worried you wouldn’t be able to see through them but when you put the mask on you realized the lens only gave things a VERY slight blue/grey tint. So slight in fact that you could fully ignore it if you wanted. 

And the second best part was some of the floral swirls actually swirled UP past the top edge of the mask and rested against your horns, giving the illusion that they were somehow part of the mask. Actually with the mask on you could almost trick yourself into thinking you were just wearing a cool looking Mardi Gras mask! 

You clapped your hands in glee and couldn’t help the excited sound you let out as you gushed and told them it was perfect! They all let out bashful happy murmurs and generally looked shyly pleased with your praise. You tried to give them each some emeralds but they refused to take them, grunting and shaking their heads each time you attempted to push the gems towards them. Eventually you gave up and resigned to accepting the mask as a gift, but you’d definitely do something nice for them later, to make up for their hard work.

…

You’d taken to wearing the mask at all times when not in the privacy of your temple. Which wasn’t very hard to get accustomed to. The mask was lightweight and the lenses honestly helped shield your eyes from the glare of the sun so win/win. And it also made your horns, in your opinion at least, less in your face. Which was good because they were definitely still growing. You could tell. And the split in the tip was now more pronounced, making you wonder if they were like… reindeer antlers? It would fit with the tail currently growing out the base of your spine, said tail that now looked REALLY like a fluffy little deer tail since the hair/fur on it had dried. 

One good thing was that your tail wasn’t long or huge and could actually be hidden relatively easily under a shawl you tied around your waist. So that was one less thing to worry about. Though your life would infinitely be easier if you didn’t have to deal with all this inhuman bullshit. But you supposed life wasn’t fair and expecting it to be was foolish. 

“At least I’m not part some weird animal like an aardvark or something…” you mumble to yourself, trying to view this whole thing in a ‘glass half full’ sort of way. 

You’d decided to relax and unwind from your recent discovery by just taking things easy for a while. First day since you got the mask and such you just chilled and started a small farm for yourself. You didn’t need the food but the process of building the farm and toiling the earth and then sowing the seeds was actually pretty therapeutic. The repetition of it all was pretty calming. Just you, your gardening tools, and the earth beneath your feet.

The days following were pretty much the same. You’d tend your garden first thing in the morning after your shower, then you’d go off to find something else easy to fill your time. You took up feeding the animals, making flower boxes and planters around the town to make it more colorful, potion brewing, and even fishing. Which was what you were doing right now actually.

You were sitting on the edge of the pond next to your temple, bare legs in the cool water and your back resting against the side of another grass block, an enchanted fishing rod you’d traded the town fisherman for sitting stuck in the ground next to you while you relaxed. The day was actually quite beautiful and nice. Sun streamed down over you from between the bamboo behind you, fluffy fat bees buzzed overhead as they hunted lazily for pollen, and you were close to dozing off.

“Hnn! Hnn! Hnnn!!”

At least you would have dozed off if you hadn’t heard one of the villagers sorta freaking out. You looked up and saw one of the farmers panickedly shuffling about at the top of the small hill to your left. You wondered if zombies got into the village again? But no it was sunny out, they’d be burning if they did. Illagers maybe? But how would they have gotten around the bamboo and prickly berry bushes?? Well there wasn’t anything else for you to do than do see what was wrong.

You put away your fishing rod, got up and dusted yourself off before hurrying up the hill after the villager. You trailed after them down the lantern lit path but so far didn’t see anything, but you perked up when you heard telltale sounds of one of the iron golems fighting something and taking damage. That put some urgency in your gait and soon you were running to see what was going on. You rush past the fletcher’s home and then the cartographer’s right after but nothing. Then you finally round the corner where the market is set up and see at the very end of the path next to the cleric’s church is the altercation. 

You sprint down the path, yelling for the villager’s to stay inside until you ring the town bell as you run past them. You hear the doors slam closed behind you and you manage to get to the problem right as your iron golem gives one last cry before getting poofed. You gasp sadly and then glare when you hear cheering. A blond boy that was shorter than you hopped down from a dirt block tower and scooped up the fallen iron ingots the poor iron golem dropped upon its death.

You were so pissed that you ignored the nagging feeling in the back of your focus that said this kid looked familiar. It wasn’t until he finally turned to look at you that it hit you. Holy shit this kid looked… and sounded.. like that minecraft youtuber, TommyInnit.. Like eerily so. You’re glad you’re wearing your mask so he can’t see the deer in headlights (*ba-dun-ts*) look on your face at the sight of him. And your shock didn’t fade with him speaking. If anything it reinforced the idea that this kid was weirdly reminiscent of that youtuber. 

“Holy fuck! You are a MASSIVE woman. Wait, who the fuck are you?!” he said in a loud tone of voice as he looked up at you. It made your eyebrows furrow. You were NOT that big! He was just short! You even crossed your arms and told him so, which earned a snicker from the little brown haired boy in dark green overalls next to him. The blond boy scoffed, looked fully offended, snarked back that you were about the same height as a ‘bloody fuckin’ iron golem!’ so yes you were huge.

You glared at the little TommyInnit look alike and instead of arguing about your height you started scolding both boys, which they hadn’t really.. expected? At least from the surprised looks on their faces (which still had the roundness that came from baby fat). The brunet rubbed his elbow and sort of toed the dirt under his feet while the blond crossed his arms and almost looked to be pouting from the scolding.

“My height isn’t the issue here! The issue is you two barging into my village, killing one of my iron golems, stealing the loot from it, and scaring my poor villagers!! What in the hell were you two thinking?” 

The blond tried to cut in, to defend himself but he barely got out the first syllable before you held up your hand to signal for him to silence himself as you snapped,

“I do NOT wanna hear it! You treat others this way?? Like they’re nothing, like their possessions and peace of mind don’t mean a damn thing?! Shame on you both!!” 

By the end the two boys looked properly scolded. The brunet wondered if THIS is what it felt like to get scolded by one’s mother, and if it was then he’d like to avoid it for the remainder of his life. And the blond meanwhile actually didn’t have anything to say, or more accurately he didn’t know what to say to not feel like he was in massive trouble.

You meanwhile were just annoyed at this point, so you held you hand out (causing both boys to give you wondering looks) before you demanded the iron ingots that the blond stole from your slain iron golem. He got all in a huff, saying he earned them and they were just ingots- but you slapped that train of thought down with an angry,

“EARNED?? More like STOLE! After you killed my iron golem! Now give them back! I have to use them to make a new golem to protect this village.”

The blond sputtered, face blooming red at being blatantly called out on his theft, before muttering in embarrassment and pulling the ingots out and practically tossing them at you. You caught them and returned them to your inventory before shaking your head at the two and saying they should leave if their only goal in your village was to kill and destroy property. The small brunet quickly spoke up and said,

“No wait, we didn’t come just to mess stuff up! We came cuz Tommy said he found this place last week and it wasn’t the usual village so we wanted to explore it.”

Your stomach churned at the name.. Tommy. This was getting weird again. Way too fucking weird. But you resisted clenching your teeth anxiously like you wanted, instead you raised an eyebrow they couldn’t see and shot back,

“Oh yeah? And how did that escalate into killing my iron golem?”

This time it was ‘Tommy’ who cut in and said it had been an accident! They’d apparently been looking around when Tubbo (you felt queasy now after hearing that name too…) started fighting a spider and Tommy came over to help him, but in the process he accidentally hit the iron golem, who got pissed and smacked him.

“I ran from the thing and towered up three blocks! I knew it wouldn’t let up so I had to kill it! S’not my fault the bastard was holding a grudge!!” Tommy said heatedly, arms still crossed defiantly.

You wanted to rub your temples in exasperation but couldn’t without removing your mask. And like hell you were showing these kids your weirdo inhuman eyes. Though… if they really were the characters from.. the videos you got hooked on? Honestly this whole thing was 10 times weirder than the stupid glowy eyes or even the horns or tail.. Like this has to be proof you’re really dreaming or in a coma or something. What other logical explanation could there BE? These kids aren’t real. Nothing here is. It CAN’T be. The real people behind these… minecraft characters? They’re not here. In this place.

Before you could do a kickflip off the edge of your sanity into a full on mental breakdown you took in a calming breath and pushed those thoughts away until you were alone to give it the proper attention. And maybe so you could have your panic attack in peace and quiet. But right now you had two kids causing ruckus in your village. So you just said,

“Yeah alright, fine. I’ll forgive you both THIS TIME. But don’t make a habit of causing trouble in my village. And you can look around and explore, just don’t steal anything or hurt any of my villagers or animals. Got it?”

The two boys nodded, happy to not have you giving them that Angry Adult Tone anymore. So you turned and started walking back to the middle of the village, calling for them to come on. You had to ring the village center bell to tell everyone everything was okay.

Both boys shared a glance before Tubbo smiled and started jogging after you, Tommy right behind him, both curious about you and your village.

------------

(a/n: YOOO SOMEONE DREW READER FANART AND IT’S FUCKING BOMB DUDES CHECK IT OUT!!  (Reader looking heavenly~) uwu)

@salinesoot​ @lady-bee-fechin​ @kacchasu​ @putridjoy​ @lunawritesstories​ @galaxypankitty3030​ ​ @paradigmax​ @zachariethememerie​ @killmewithafanfic @trinity-1002107 @hufflepuff-demigod @truthdaze @exorcisms-with-elmo @redbloodtea @heythereimhaylz @olyink @jackalopedoodles​ @nikkineeky​ @artsimatsu​​

[thesportssoundoff]

DWTCS Season 3 Opener; A Preview

Joey

June 15th, 2019

On Tuesday, Dana White's Tuesday Night Contenders Series will return at an all new location, making the move from Fight Pass to ESPN+. The Contenders Series is broadening the scope a little bit, going from just American based fighters to sprinkling in some new countries and locales to the mix. The Contenders Series has its flaws (it's based primarily on the whim of one man, it will always favor finishers over non-finishers) but it's proven to be an intriguing place to find exciting new young talent. At the very least, we can see it's impact on weight classes that needed some new faces like welterweight (Geoff Neal, Dwight Grant), middleweight (Edmen Shabazyan, Ian Henisch) and light heavyweight and heavyweight (Karl Roberson, Juan Adams, Alonzo Menifield, Ryan Spann to name a few).  It tends to favor raw athletes who finish fights over polished established names and I kind of don't think that's a bad thing. I'm a big gamble on upside guy and this show tends to seek out upside.

The Contenders Series is a fun way to burn an hour and a half most of the time and I can’t think of an episode where I’ve walked away feeling like my time was wasted or feeling like somebody undeserving got a contract. As such, I’m going to be trying (TRYING) to do some detailed previews throughout the season. Her’es what I got for episode one:

Punahele Soriano (5-0, 26 years old, pro since 2017) vs Jamie Pickett (9-3, 30 years old, pro since 2011) Middleweights

Punahele Soriano Where He Fight At? Punahele has basically been fighting in name regionals since he turned pro. Backed by Xtreme Couture, Soriano's second ever pro fight was on one of the first PFL cards and he's had pinch hit opportunities in LFA and Titan FC. Who'd He Ever Beat? Nobody you'd know necessarily. Punahele's fought what I'd refer to as "regional fluff", dudes with records that are puffy on paper but thinner the deeper you get into them. It's like Nasim Richardson's theory that you have to go beyond who the guy is and dig into who HE beat too. Puna's last fight was against Jhonoven Pati who at the time was 4-1. Record Of Opposition At The Time Of Their Fight? Punahele's opponents were a combined 10-6 going into their fights with records ranging as spiffy as 5-1 to as bad as 0-3 (his debut). Why Is He Here? Punahele Soriano's spot here is primarily due to the division he fights in, the way he fights and the fact that this entire show concept is MADE for dudes like him. He's young and he fights at middleweight, a division in renaissance but still riddled with arthritic dudes. He's finished every fight he's had in the first round and often in impressive fashion. He's more athletic than everyone he fights and it shows every time. This is the sort of format where a dude like that gets a test fight like this to determine how much of his skills are fact and how much of it is fiction. Puna probably gets signed with a win.

Jamie Pickett Where He Fight At? Jamie Pickett is ACTUALLY a DWTCS alum. He fought Charles Byrd on the first season of the Contenders Series and lost in the first round. Outside of that and a Legacy Fighting cameo? Pickett has mostly fought in the Carolinas like Ric Flair in the 80s. Who'd He Ever Beat? Nobody you'd really know. His best win is Cristhian Torres, a 185/205er who fights primarily in Florida and owns a 14-10 record. Torres is a reliable proven regional busybody though so while it's not the greatest win, it's a solid name for the level. Torres is one of two fighters that Pickett's beaten who at the time of the fight had a winning record, the other guy being a fella by the name of Brian McGinnis who was 4-2 at the time. Record Of Opposition At The Time Of Their Fight? Jamie Pickett's record of opposition is 52-47. His best opponent was 7-4 Charles Byrd who got a contract from the UFC (eventually) and has gone 1-2 in the organization. Outside of that you have a bunch of fellas who were 1-2, a few guys who were 8-9 and the aforementioned Torres (12-8) and McGinnis (4-2). Why Is He Here? On paper, Pickett's here to fill a spot. There's nothing wrong with that necessarily! Pickett's job is to test Soriano and see if he's the goods or not. Granting Pickett the caveat that he took the fight vs Byrd on short notice (although I may have that flipped around depending upon who you ask), it's not a record that inspires you to believe he's here to do anything but give Soriano a challenge. We've seen Dana and company do this before; the exciting guy gets a name opponent by regional standards who is stylistically all wrong for him. Soriano is a great wrestler and Pickett's wrestling has never been what I'd consider to be a strength. He's here to be "the opponent" but the Contenders Series has seen the opponent win before. That's kinda what makes it great.

Brok Weaver (13-4, 26 years old, pro since 2013) vs Leon Shahbazyan (7-1, 23 years old, pro since 2016) Welterweights

Brock Weaver Where He Fight At? Brok Weaver has been casually cutting his teeth down at Island Fights, a little promotion that hid in obscurity before it wound up on Fight Pass. They've churned out some guys like Mike Perry, Alex Nicholson and Mike Davis. Weaver's primarily spent the entire of his career in Florida. Who'd He Ever Beat? I don't necessarily know if folks would consider these names quality but Weaver has fought and beaten Charles Bennett (THAT Charles Bennett), Contenders Series alum Mike Mustaki and regional dudes like Elvin Brito and Socrates Pierre. You kinda got beat those two dudes to get anywhere in Florida MMA.  He's also lost to Socrates Pierre, current rising WW Demarques Jackson and Titan FC vet Martin Brown. Record Of Opposition At The Time Of Their Fight? Removing our pal Krazy Horse from the mix, Weaver's opponents at the time of their fight own a pretty good 74-39 with some really good fighters since pretty much his 6th or 7th pro fight. Adding Krazy Horse to the mix, the record is 104-75. Hard to argue with that sort of competition especially in Florida. Why Is He Here? I don't know if Weaver is UFC quality but this feels like rewarding a guy who has done really well against relatively good competition in a pretty tough division. He's on a six fighting winning streak against competition with winning records minus one guy who was 7-9. He's beaten the fighters you'd know if you follows regional MMA on a more heavy basis. I also assume there may be some bareknuckle rub since dude fought (and lost) to Joe Riggs.

Leon Shahbazyan Where He Fight At? California! Leon has fought primarily against less than stellar competition on the California regional scene at places like Gladiator Challenge. Who'd He Ever Beat? Nobody. Tapology is very good at what they do and I have to assume they have no reason to lie when you look at the names and records. The first fighter Leon fought with a winning record was also his only pro loss. Record Of Opposition At The Time Of Their Fight? I feel bad for even writing this up but Shahbazyan's opponents were 16-70 with two guys making their debuts, one guy at 0-1 and one fella rocking an 18-40 record. The one fighter he faced with a winning record at 4-2 was Bellator vet Gabriel Green. Why Is He Here? Let's begin with the outside of the cage stuff first. Shahbayzan's here because he's trained by Edmund Tarverdyan, fights out of Glendale, is managed by Ronda Rousey AND his little brother Edmond is 2-0 in the UFC. Watching his fights on youtube, there's really nothing to suggest he's ready for this spot. That said as we've seen with Sergio Pettis, you tend to have the training wheels taken off of you when your brother is a big deal. The experience difference is so vast in this fight that I'm almost on paper uncomfortable with how bad it COULD wind up. Or Leon blows through Weaver and makes me look stupid.

Kali Robbins (6-2, 34 years old, pro since 2015) vs Hannah Goldy (4-0, 27, pro since 2016) Women's Strawweight

Kali Robbins Where She Fight At? If you're a fan of Invicta then Robbins is not new to you. She's fought in the organization twice as well as making her debut in RFA. Who'd She Ever Beat? Sharon Jacobson is the best win on Kali's resume, perhaps made more impressive by the fact that it was her fifth pro fight. Robbins' two losses are pretty quality too in UFC vets Pearl Gonzalez and Hannah Cifers. Record Of Opposition At The Time Of Their Fight? Kali Robbins' opposition is not bad, pulling in at 31-25. Her strength of schedule is skewered by beating Sharon Jacobson when she was 4-1. Her losses are to Pearl Gonzalez at 6-3 in Invicta and then 7-3 Hannah Cifers in Cifers' last fight outside the UFC. Why Is She Here? Well for starters, the UFC is going to need more strawweights eventually. As women's flyweight picks away at the depth, opportunities in the ranks will open up. Robbins is far from the least qualified contestant fighting for one of those spots. She's got a bit of a name, she's been around the block so to speak, her window is closing given her age and it's pretty much now or never for her to get into the organization.

Hannah Goldy Where She Fight At? Hannah Goldy is another fighter who has spent her time down in Island Fights. Who'd She Ever Beat? Hannah Goldy made her pro debut against UFC veteran Gillian Anderson and beat her by decision. She also fought Elisa Blaine, the Bellator fighter who beat Ana Julaton. It's a pretty good record for someone with just four fights. Record Of Opposition At The Time Of Their Fight? Not much to report here since Goldy's record of opposition is 4-1. Two debuts, 2-0 and 2-1. Easy math that even I could figure out. Why Is She Here? The association with Roy Jones Jr doesn't hurt I suppose. Roy's a big Island Fights guy and RJJ has tweeted her out/mentioned her before. Goldy's 4-0 record is also pretty impressive with some damn good strength of competition. There's no reason why she shouldn't be here as the UFC tries to find more faces for strawweight and flyweight. Goldy also has viral buzz as she's the lady Alex Nicholson proposed to on the scales before a UFC event and as mentioned before, RJJ tends to up her a bit on social media.

Bill Algeo (12-3, 30 years old, pro since 2012) vs Brendan Loughnane (16-3, 29, pro since 2010) Featherweight

Bill Algeo Where He Fight At? Bill Algeo's resume reads like a dude who has been fighting since 2012 all over the Northeast. We've got WSOF (yeah, he was around before the name change), CFFC and ROC. Basically all of the cool places for regional MMA at the time. Who'd He Ever Beat? Algeo's record isn't loaded with names so to speak but he's been the ROC featherweight champion for a good long minute now. He's beaten former TUF contestant Jeff Lentz, regional MMA fighter Tim Dooling and John De Jesus. His losses are REALLY impressive and well worth keeping an eye on with guys like UFC top 10 FW Shane Burgos and solid UFC veteran Jared Gordon in the mix. Record Of Opposition At The Time Of Their Fight? Bill Algeo's quality of competition record wise is FIERCE with a 71-36 combined record at the time of their fights with Algeo. Jeff Lentz is probably the best opponent he has with the 11-4 record and his losses are to dudes like 4-0 Shane Burgos and 11-1 Jared Gordon. Worst fighter on his record numerically is the 10-6 John De Jesus. Why Is He Here? He's really good? Bill Algeo's a really solid regional featherweight who is worthy of the opportunity. He may be overaged for the Contenders Series but 30 isn't a death sentence even in a tough division like 145 lbs. Algeo's earned this shot and I'll always be in favor of long term regional champions getting the opportunity.

Brendan Loughnane Where He Fight At? The UFC! Loughnane was apart of the UFC's Smashes season pitting Australia against the UK. That's the same season that gave us Robert Whittaker, Ben Alloway, Mike Wilkinson and Norman Parke. Outside of that, he's popped around ACB and BAMMA quite a bit as well. Who'd He Ever Beat? If you've been around since 2010, you've probably beaten your fair share of quality dudes on the European scene. Brendan Loughnane has wins over Mike Wilkinson, Ali McClean and Jason Cooledge. His losses are to Mike Wilkinson in the UFC, "Fire Kid" Tom Duquesnoy via split decision and a split decision loss to long time veteran Pat Healy. Record Of Opposition At The Time Of Their Fight? Brandan has been around a good long minute so again, no surprise he's got a pretty solid quality of competition record. Loughnane's opponents were a combined 158-98 at the time of their fight. The best opponents record wise are obviously Pat Healy at 30-23, 10-1 Tom Duquesnoy, 7-0 and later 9-3 Mike Wilkinson and 11-1 Paata Tsxpella. Loughnane went a combined 2-3 against those guys. Why Is He Here? When Dana White first started talking about the Contenders Series, he spoke about the idea of fighters maybe struggling to make it in the UFC being given the opportunity to earn their keep on the show. That idea was toyed with in parts but not fully implemented and keeping with that theme, the UFC also toyed with using the Contenders Series as a spot for dudes who flamed out of the organization to fight their way back in. We've seen guys like Joby Sanchez and Julian Erosa primarily make good on this (although the combined 0-5 record suggests some dudes are best left out) and now Brendan Loughnane looks to try his hand at it. He's at least earned the chance.

Yorgan de Castro(4-0, 31 years old, pro since 2017) vs Alton Meeks (3-0, 25 years old, pro since 2018) Heavyweight

Yorgan de Castro Where He Fight At? CES MMA primarily. The promotion that once held Batista's first pro fight has been a bit of a hot spot for DWTCS guys. Who'd He Ever Beat? Nobody I've heard of. Yorgan has only had 4 fights and it's regional HW MMA so he hasn't fought anybody anybody has heard of. Record Of Opposition At The Time Of Their Fight? Case in point? The record of opposition at the time of their fights is a rather blegh 10-11. His best opponent in record is 3-1 Ras Hylton which is on youtube if you wanna check it out. His best opponent in actuality is probably 7-6 veteran gatekeeper Carlton Little who lost to TUF Contestant Justin Frazier. Why Is He Here? Welp. A look at Castro's fights have me assuming that he's probably better suited a weight class down. He looks IMO like a Cannonier type; a dude who can fight at HW but also at 205 lbs if need be or even lower. He's here because the UFC was trying to set up Penn State wrestler Jimmy Lawson for a DWTCS spot. They asked him to a win a fight and IF he won, he'd get de Castro. Lawson lost and de Castro was kept on with a new opponent. From cannon fodder to potential UFC deal. Dude loves his naked leg kicks and his overhand rights too so chances are he's either getting flattened or flattening someone.

Alton Meeks Where He Fight At? Some in Florida, some in Georgia. Who'd He Ever Beat? A lot of nothin'. Alton Meeks' wrestling credentials and his college football background suggest his best opponents probably aren't the dudes on his MMA ledger. Record Of Opposition At The Time Of Their Fight? His opponents are a combined 4-6. His best win is probably 2-3 Baraq Hunter who also fought Alex Nicholson (and lost). Why Is He Here? It's actually interesting but the UFC might've tripped and fell into somebody. Meeks is the Jimmy Lawson replacement but some digging suggests there's some stuff here. He's apparently a good enough wrestler to have had some Olympic aspirations and he played college football which suggests the athleticism is there. He apparently took up  fighting after a few weeks of training and so he might actually be capable of getting even better. Meeks is here because one HW pulled out and the UFC needs HWs. Just collect big doughy dudes.

[funkymbtifiction]

A Theory

(Gif: Catelyn Stark from Game of Thrones. ESFJ.)

I brought up something the other day in my Margaret Beaufort profile I’ve been thinking about, and wanted to expound on more in-depth: namely, a lot of  fictional characters are not good representations of the type, but a stereotyped representation based on what another type thinks that type looks like.

For example, a low thinker cannot think in the same way as a high thinker, until they understand cognition and what high thinking does; even then, their own mindset will give them a certain bias, in favor of higher feeling. In the same way, a low intuitive cannot write a high intuitive accurately, because they cannot understand how a high intuitive processes information. The same works in reverse, where intuitive are likely not able to authentically represent high sensors, due to their own low sensing.

This raises the speculation that a lot of the extreme cases of a “stereotypical” character are in fact… based on a lower function’s perception of what that function might look like, in a dominant position.

If this is the case, here’s what would and probably does, happen:

Ne-doms: flighty, erratic, shallow, eccentric, and bubbly instead of: extremely broad, changeable, deep, not-quick to form strong opinions, able to adapt quickly to new information, and with profound “intuitive” insights into what is really going on with people, events, and things

Se-doms: reckless, hedonistic, risk-taking, careless super heroes instead of: opportunistic, quick to adapt, observational, intent on affecting immediate change through sensory approaches, and “in tune” with the environment

Te-doms: controlling, oppressive, bossy, ruthless, logical instead of: makes decisions to achieve a tangible result, logical observations, a business-oriented mindset, and an emphasis on high work standards, and bottom lines

Fe-doms: overly emotional, controlling, emotionally manipulative busybodies instead of: emotional depth and control, the desire to connect with people, a natural instinct in finding “ways we are alike” (rather than different), and strong and forthright moral opinions

Ni-doms: rigid and single-minded, long-term goal makers, psychics instead of: open-minded, fluid in their opinions, indecisive, inclined to build visionary ideas about the future, tends to “symbolize” everything, with profound “intuitive” insights into motives

Si-doms: old-fashioned, stuck in the past, traditionalists, hates change instead of: has a strong and natural ability to recognize how things work and how to achieve things in the real world, prefers to orient their sensory world to likes and dislikes, uses past experience and similar experiences when making decisions or approaching new projects

Ti-doms: analytical, eccentric and/or bad-ass, nitpickers instead of: sometimes rigid system-builders who care about precision and both care about and deeply understand how things work

Fi-doms: highly emotional, irrational, easily hurt, does whatever they want, regardless of how others feel about it / you’re not the boss of me instead of: sensitive, emotionally intelligent people with strong ethics and moral standards, incapable of violating their standards of  right and wrong

Since intuitives originated, theorized and continued to explore and expound MBTI, a lot of the sensor profiles online are written by intuitive types, which explains not only their subtle anti-sensor bias (the dull descriptions, the poor understanding of what sensing does, in reducing it to banality) but also real sensors’ inability to self-recognize in the profiles (since... that’s not real sensing being described, but a theory of what sensing is, by an intuitive who scorns sensing). The further emphasis on behavior, rather than thinking process, leads to even more confusion … and mistypes.

In an ideal world, descriptions of cognitive functions would be written by the people who use them, enabling less “theorizing” (from other types, who have a bias) and more “actuality” in terms of helping others understand how a function works. When a high Ti user recently explained to me his Ti “must categorize everything before I even deal with it; what kind of a sweater is it? It’s not just any sweater, it’s a Cardigan!” a light bulb went on over my head, and for the first time I started to comprehend actual high Ti.

The same thing happened to me, when a high Te user explained to me the thought process of Te: if it has no intrinsic value in the real world, it is irrelevant – in other words, a Te villain needs a Te-reason to be evil – he never does anything “to mess with people” – that’s poor Fe; but to “gain from it” (financially, perhaps? To increase his power, so that he can achieve greater things? What PURPOSE does this action serve? What does it gain me?).

I’m not sure what I hope to gain from this post, except… this is my thought process at the moment. Sometimes, a fictional character tells you more about the mind of the person writing it than it tells you about actual cognitive processes. The shallow, immature, or irrational behaviors of some characters are not the behaviors to expect from a mature, real person of that type; they are a stereotype, based on what someone with poor usage (or even scorn for) that sequence of functions thinks that “kind” of a person looks like.

In other words: real ENFPs are not “manic pixie dream girls.” Sorry, sensor boys, those girls are your idealized concept of what the “perfect” girl looks like, to get you out of your rut – but she doesn’t exist. And all INTJs are not rigid, narrow-minded geniuses. Nor are all ESTPs reckless assholes who don’t care who they hurt. Or all INFJs prophets.

You can fill in the rest.

- ENFP Mod

[fashiontrendin-blog]

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The Best New Menswear Pieces To Buy Right Now

Baume Custom Timepiece 41mm Retrograde

The watch market is so crammed with heritage brands that’ve been around for aeons that it’s rare for a new up-starter to come along and spoil the party. Threatening to do just that is Baume, launched this week by the Richemont group, which also owns Montblanc and Cartier. The modus operandi is high-end luxury at an affordable price point while using sustainable, recycled materials like the cork strap on this sleek and creative timepiece.

Buy Now: £490.00

Wood Wood Han Long Sleeve T-Shirt

There are numerous Scandinavian labels going strong at the moment, from Norse Projects to Cheap Monday, but close to the top of the tree has to be Wood Wood. This new capsule collection is meant to tap into fan culture and teenage obsession, but we’re just keen on it for the elegant simplicity and soft cotton fabric.

Buy Now: £69.00

Coach x Disney Zip Wallet

Having enjoyed previous collaborations with Dolce & Gabbana, Gucci and Kenzo, could Mickey Mouse be the most well-connected rodent in fashion? Mickey doesn’t feature personally in this latest collaboration with luxury brand Coach, instead, inspiration is taken from Disney’s Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and Sleeping Beauty. The results are certainly distinct, as can be seen from the ethereal skull on this wallet.

Buy Now: £195.00

Superdry Sunscorched Shorts

The Superdry SS18 collection takes heavy influence from the music world but luckily it’s not all skinny jeans and loud patterns. Shorts make an appearance in some very bright shades though, including this hyper blue pair which is hemmed at exactly the right place between the mid-thigh and the knee.

Buy Now: £39.99

Cubitts × Leif Podhajsky Ridley Emerald Sunglasses

Graphic designer Leif Podhajsky is well-known in the world of music after producing psychedelic and wondrous album covers for artists such as Bonobo and Tame Impala. However, here he joins forces with upstanding British eyewear manufacturer Cubitts and the results are otherworldly, like zoning out in the hazy summer sun.

Buy Now: £125.00

Mango Anna Shirt

While you won’t catch us raiding grandad’s wardrobe on the regular there are some styling tips to be had from the old boy. Certainly, the grandad collar shirt is top of that list, with a sharp, crisp look that works for both casual and smart occasions. This cotton version from Mango is one of the best examples we’ve seen recently.

Buy Now: £35.99

Calvin Klein Jasa Print T-Shirt

You’re probably used to having the Calvin Klein logo emblazoned on your boxer waistbands, but less so on the chest of your shirt. But with the logo-tee trend reaching epidemic proportions, it’s a good way of giving the brand some love while keeping your trousers on. We’re fans of this deep purple version, which offers something a little different in a market crowded with monochrome sets.

Buy Now: £34.99

Duke & Dexter Sovereign Penny Loafers

Inspired by 1960s heart-throb and screen legend Alain Delon (aren’t we all, darling), these new penny loafers are très chic. Made by Duke & Dexter, beloved by celebs including Ryan Reynolds and Eddie Redmayne (who wore a bespoke pair when he won his Oscar), this new summer set of shoes pitches itself as the undisputed champion of the loafer world.

Buy Now: £225.00

Uniqlo x Tomas Maier Swim Shorts

Nothing brings us more joy than a new Uniqlo collaboration, and while our squeals are usually reserved for when JW Anderson comes to play, this time we’re getting hot under the collar over a summer collection with the head honcho at Bottega Veneta, Tomas Maier. Palm trees are the lead motif for the collection, exemplified by this pair of classy and understated swim shorts.

Buy Now: £24.90

PUMA x Bobbito Classic Suede

This year sees the 50th anniversary of the Puma Suede, which is to Puma what the Gazelle is to Adidas and the Air Max to Nike. To celebrate its illustrious history, Puma has released a series of collaborations and new editions of the shoe – the centrepiece being this classic configuration with sneaker historian and hip-hop DJ Bobbito, which takes inspiration from the Suedes worn on New York basketball courts in the 1970s.

Buy Now: £101.00

Rapport Evo Cube #8 Watch Winder

If you’re serious about your mechanical watches, then you ought to be serious about your watch winders too. The best in the business is Rapport, which has become the leading UK manufacturer of luxury automatic watch winders. So keep your automatic running with this latest model that resembles a mini amplified speaker, yet promises virtual silence.

Buy Now: £295.00

Albam Regent Blouson Jacket

First, there was ‘millennial pink’, now we have ‘gen-z yellow’, and many brands such as the independent London-based Albam have fallen hard for the colour this summer. It’s a good match with another trending piece for the season, the blouson jacket, which features a shorter cut that sits just above the hip, as well as a two-way zip to change up how you throw it on.

Buy Now: £169.00

Léon Bara Plaza Shirt

The summer nights are approaching and the menswear cognoscenti will be cracking out their Cuban collars in no time, although the weather can be a cruel mistress. Relative newcomer Léon Bara (its first collection was debuted just last year) has got you covered though, with a Cuban collared shirt that’s water-repellent and made from plush Japanese linen so you can continue wearing them come rain or shine.

Buy Now: £255.00

Master & Dynamic MW50+ Wireless On-Ear & Over-Ear Headphones

The idea of headphones as fashion accessories snowballed during the earlier part of this decade with Beats by Dre. The market soon became even more high-end, led by luxury headphone makers Master & Dynamic, which has just released a brand new model with on-ear and over-ear pads so you can change your listening preferences on the go. It also boasts a throwback design resembling something a WWII pilot might have had in their cockpit.

Buy Now: £369.00

ASOS Grooming Box

So while those little busybodies at ASOS have set about filling our wardrobes, they’ve also concocted this limited-edition grooming kit with the best of their face and body products. We’ve done the maths and figured that this set is worth around eight times more if you were to buy all of the products individually, so it’s certainly worth investing in if you want to fill out your bathroom cabinet.

Buy Now: £12.00

Ted Baker Derby Textile Trainers

One of the most classic footwear styles in menswear, the Derby has stood the test of time largely because of its versatility and ability to work for both smart and casual looks. And yet when it comes to the summer months the traditional leather shoe can be a tad stifling. Fear not though as Ted Baker is here to save the day with its Derby trainers – made from breathable woven cotton, they’re leagues more comfortable and won’t overheat your toes.

Buy Now: £90.00

FoR Cropped Tailored Trousers

It’s been three whole weeks since the Arcadia group, home to Burton and Topman, launched its new web-only, minimalist menswear brand FoR – and we’re still reeling. The collection has just popped up on ASOS this week, offering yet another opportunity for us to get our hands on some of that top-quality, low-priced gear. One of the key items is this pair of grey trousers, which are bang-on-trend with their soft pleats and slightly cropped hem.

Buy Now: £30.00

GANT Le Mans Crewneck Sweater

Gant knows how to make a good quality jumper, the kind that works well on its own or when paired with a button-down Oxford shirt. The preppy brand is less known for its streetwear sweats however, but it’s a market the US label has got its sights on in its latest partnership with the ultimate sports car endurance race, the 24 Hours of Le Mans. In an eye-catching green and pique structure, this sporty sweat might just catch the attention of the athleisure aficionados out there.

Buy Now: £100.00

Topman Flamingo Long Sleeve Overshirt

Move over camo, to really disguise yourself in the jungle you have to go full-on tropical print. With its lightweight blouson cut, this would be ideal, but be warned, you might stand out a little more when outside of the rainforest. As a result, it’s worn best with toned-down basics such as a black tee, jeans and white trainer combination.

Buy Now: £65.00

River Island x Ditch The Label White ‘Pride And Glitter’ T-Shirt

River Island’s recent advertising campaigns have had a strong focus on inclusivity – a welcome change in the fashion industry which can often seem homogeneous. The brand’s latest partnership sees it team up with international anti-bullying charity Ditch The Label for eight gender-neutral items of clothing that are designed to empower the LGBTQ+ community and, well, look really cool while doing it.

Buy Now: £18.00

[mikkagals-blog]

Group 7 - Short Story

A student raises his hand and asks his professor a question.

His professor sees this as a challenge, and he elaborates his answer in a lecture.

Professor :       How does it feel that everything of importance and value that your life holds meaning to is gone, vamooshed, nada, completely disappears into thin air? It doesn’t feel horrible. No, horrible is the wrong adjective. Maybe more like panic? Yes, definitely panic. Definitely. But consider this level of panic bordering the levels and boundaries of hysteria and insanity. That’s a more befitting description of the scene taking place in almost every single nation and state – democratic, republican, communist, or whatever the political government ruling those particular states may be – right at the very instant that this technology-invested generation and world has a devastating crises of frequent terrorist attacks and the problem that a certain Asian (particularly a crazy, insane trigger-happy war-freak) man is posing for the unfortunately upcoming world war at its finest with the end of this world at its tow. Right. This sudden appearance of a mass crisis has simply chosen just the most perfectly inconvenient timing to further exacerbate the whole shenanigan and whatnot. Just what the whole mass majority of the populace needs after a whole episode spanning over decades of independent nations trading blows and fueling each other’s fires has finally decided to end to a conclusion.

           Oil companies demanding outrageously high prices for oils oh so cheap in their countries of origin? No problem. Ongoing strikes and protests and rallies would most likely be the best course of action to solve this menial problem. Food shortages within the vicinity because of natural disasters and freak accidents? Just ask the president and the local city mayor to subsidize and provide a solution to that crisis. No wireless network connections and blocked free access to the Internet and other online and offline media for an hour? Words cannot describe the feeling of desperation and panic that overwhelms and blankets the whole entire world of that poor unfortunate soul. By the end of the indescribably extremely long and torturous turmoil, the victimized individual would probably be bored and desperate and at his wits’ end. Really. The detrimental effects of a world free from every single information-providing source is truly a devastating blow to the mental and physical welfares of the whole populace of this world. Quite saddening really. But what can be done? Withdrawal syndromes really do rear their unfortunately ugly heads to the forefront of the internal struggle for sanity when the offline and more importantly, the online world and the virtual reality that it provides for individuals to escape to is blocked and banned from the reaches of its physically-and-mentally-invested citizens and their online counterparts.

           But back to the currently seemingly unsolvable situation at hand. The mass majority of the populace right now are probably bordering insanity as of the present time. How could they not? Their only lifelines to their supply of this certain media drug is cut off from well within the reaches of their greedy and nimble little hands. How would the presidents of each state and nation address this fear-inducing problem then? Can they provide every single piece of juicy gossip and rumor to the watering and salivating curiosities of busybodies and boredom-possessed individuals and citizens all around the world in the blink of an eye? Can relevant and irrelevant information and news be delivered without time catching up to mold and rot these pieces and details of information on the latest fashion trends and mass serial killings, and other whatnot? Definitely and surely not. A big no. That’s final. No other place for squabbling and arguments. Just a big fat impossible presented at the faces of these rulers. How then, can these political figures and assets calm hundreds of hordes of raging, delirious and ignorant masses and stop their political ears from bleeding from the barrage onslaught of endless complaints and empty threats? The answer is simple. Simple, but extremely difficult to execute.

           Start over. The whole entire world and its vast majority of citizens would simply have to start over from the very beginning of their ancestors. Of course, prior knowledge to certain things and aspects of the lifecycle and evolution of the traditional sources of information and their evolved alter egos would be extremely helpful to build a communication network where no possible medium (as of the current technology) is present in existence. Starting over with the whole prehistoric way of receiving and passing on tidbits of relevant information and the latest gossip via messenger birds and the mailman is just simply one of the few limited and sane ideas that could possibly address and remedy this whole foolish and panic-inducing problem. How then would an aunt from another village know that her dear fellow nephew, who is currently and unfortunately residing in the same community that a certain deranged lunatic A who is loose and out for bloodshed, is safe from the insanity of a mentally-disturbed A? Simple. Extremely taxing and expensive, but nonetheless simple. Constructing a whole How-are-you’s and Are-you-safe’s and the stereotypical fillers in between in a handwritten letter to be sent via air mail or old school carrier pigeon style is the way to handle about this business. By the time that the message arrives at the doorstep of her dearly beloved nephew, the serial killer would probably have been caught and sent to a mental institute. That is not to say that her nephew was safe and out of harms way. Oh no. Numerous endless possibilities and outcomes would have happened even before the message could be received and sent a reply back. And who is to say that the handwritten letter is received by the right individual? Only if a reply is sent back to the aunt from her favorite nephew would she know that her concern for his well-being in her letter was received and well-appreciated. But the expectations to receive an instant reply would be nigh impossible given the limited resources in these dire circumstances.

           Another solution, a more inexpensive but dangerous one, that would not cause the pockets of a nation’s citizens to bleed and burn a hole through them is to establish a very simple form of reporting news in a similar fashion to what the ancient Greeks and Romans used to have in order so that fellow Greeks and Romans were not left out in the dark out of naivety and ignorance from current news and upcoming social gatherings and events.

           Heralds would do the job of announcing to the wide range of audience factual knowledge and other relevant pieces of information at a certain given time at every specifically scheduled time of the day. Of course, credibility and the validity of the heralds’ statements are questionable and can receive public scrutiny from dissatisfied citizens and locals. Dissatisfaction would always present itself and should not be taken into stride since the negative response to certain specific news and information would always exist at the core, and thus cannot truly be eliminated.

           In terms of the information-gathering procedure, steps and the procedures for extracting and noting down news and other important events would have to be manually done and received, with the person of the informant being required to be present during resource and data extraction. Although it should be in the best interest and common good and benefit of the public that the information extraction and gathering process should be done by a credible and reliable individual. After which all gathered information are compiled and given and briefed to a separate person who would be charged with the task of acting as herald to the audience of their community. It also helps with the task of collecting news and other pieces of information that the job be assigned to a good amount of learned people, and not just a single individual bearing and carrying on his shoulders the brunt and whole of the responsibility.

          Given the current circumstances and the limited possible solutions in redressing the fear-inducing crisis right now, it is safe to take into assumption and say that the decisions and actions of the vast populace of the world will vary in response to the current problem at hand. The decisions that are based and crafted and derived from certain pieces of evidences and information would most likely change in context to suit the information that is presented in that moment of the decision-making process. The decisions would alter depending on the amount and credibility and validity of the information and its details. Although it is also important to take note of external and internal factors that concern the individual into accounting for his thought and decision-making process.

          With this kind of nagging and panic-inducing problem glaring at the faces of the vast majority of society’s citizens as of the moment, I fear that society would collapse because of its inability to survive without any form of media whatsoever in this technology-infested-and dependent age and generation. The society, in my perspective, would lose order and rational thinking because of the impatience of its citizens to address and remedy the problem, and also with the present generation’s inability to cope in a situation wherein the online world is out of their reach and easily accessible grasp.

         Truthfully, there is hardly anything that I would miss in a world where free access to use any information-providing source is unavailable and unheard of. However, I would most gratefully miss the lack or inability of fellow terrorists and other war-crazy individuals and group to communicate and connive with each other to plot world domination and its eventual demise as a civilized and free world.

Now, would that answer your question on what possible outcomes are most likely to happen if we are one day to wake up in a world where there are no media existing to help us in our daily lives, Mr. John?