#also posted a Distance 3 teaser with a reblog that did literally NOTHING and all I see are (hidden) hotd posts again

[helmes-deep]

Quickie LONG UPDATE!! (on my life lol)

I FINALLY GOT THE RESULTS BACK FROM A $300 teachers’ test and I PASSED WOOOOOOOOOOT HAHAHA I’M SO HAPPY $300 NOT WASTED LOL *CRIES*

Well, at least for my state. Who knows if I’ll ever have to take that horrendous thing again should I ever choose to move to another state or get back into the teaching profession after having left for a bit... Granted, I didn’t get the score I think I was truly capable of (I totally last-minuted this whole thing and stayed up for 72+ hours finishing it lol PLEASE PLEASE DON’T EVER BE LIKE ME AND PUT YOURSELF IN A POSITION WHERE YOU HAVE TO STAY AWAKE FOR 3 DAYS STRAIGHT TO FINISH A FINAL THAT IS MY LIFE ADVICE), but I did pass it based on the score required by my state, so I honestly couldn’t be any happier. All that’s standing between me and getting a real job now is waiting for my university to finally award me my degree in a few weeks so that I can apply for a teacher’s certificate and finally get to do what I can’t wait to start doing again – teaching!! 🌠 💖 😄

In other news, I actually survived! and completed!! my student teaching; it all actually officially ended in the middle of last month. After my student teaching ended, I focused on finishing up final tests/projects (including that $300 test) before graduating with a bachelor’s degree in English Education from my uni about 2 weeks ago. Since then, I’ve been applying for jobs and hoping for an offer soon, hopefully at a high school!! Thinking back over my college experience, I wouldn’t say it’s been a really “crazy” four years (except for this year LOL. Man, these past two semesters were WILD and took SO MUCH out of me. I still get super-exhausted thinking about how I got through my student teaching N E V E R  A G A I N HAHA :V). I’ve never been the group’s social butterfly, even though I highly crave social interaction and approval/feedback (not in a desperate sense, but I know I’m the type of person that needs social interaction in order to thrive, even if I might not be the one to initiate it). I have, however, learned a little about a lot of things, especially during this past year and semester LOL AGAIN: N E V E R  A G A I N HAHA :VVV and especially, I think, in regard to myself. As a teacher, I’ve learned that I suck at classroom management. I’m just way too laissez faire, which comes off as “too nice” and therefore just allows any group of your regular hormonal and rebellious-leaning teenagers to go bonkers and take over my class lawl. Hopefully that changes *very* soon once I get my own classroom (and I’m working on it!!), but looking back, I suppose I could have been a bit more firm about keeping my presence (it also doesn’t help that I’m like 5′3″ lol!!). As a general person, I have also learned that I SUCK at making and keeping social discourse lol. Like, not just suck at it, but suckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk haha. First, not having a phone really makes it hard to make or keep in touch with any friends that a person intends to make. With a lack of a personal device or one of your basic social media accounts, I realized how hard it was to maintain a social network within a very digitally-connected world. Second, I realized that I’m probably a lot more cautious, super-conscious, introverted, and a bit inexperienced than I perhaps originally thought I was. Like, if I was in high school, I recognized that I would probably have been the super-quiet kid who would have had a lot of trouble making friends in class. I then realized that a lot of these previously mentioned personality quirks were probably a part of what was keeping me from fostering more intimate relationships or developing a more leader-driven personality, which sometimes heavily affected my classroom management. I’m not saying I necessarily need to change as a person, but I do believe I need to find ways in which I can become more involved and confident. Ironically, I thought it was interesting to note that a lot of my personality was – though not intentionally – perhaps keeping me from finding that deeper social interaction that I previously mentioned craving.

All that being said, I am fairly proud of how far I’ve come and how much I’ve accomplished this year as a student teacher, especially considering this was my first time taking over a class (3, actually!!) after having never really been inside a high school since I was homeschooled from 7th to 12th grade. I am, however, really proud of how I tried as much as I could to put the students with whom I was working with first, including incorporating their interests and academic needs/desires. I know my experience as a student teacher was not perfect, but I am very glad I got to work through all the challenges that came with and almost die doing it. I’ve also definitely found a bit of who I want to be as a future teacher. I know I want to be someone who is able to successfully make the classroom a place where my students can experience relevant life issues through writing or reading, and if nothing else, that had made this entire experience totally worth it.

... Which brings me to the future of this blog haha. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll be as active on Tumblr as I was before :c For one thing, I realized over the course of this year that Tumblr was definitely taking up way too much of my life lol (literally took me hours to get through 24+ hours’ worth of posts, and I was only following like 300 blogs). Being a bit OCD, I don’t like breaking my Tumblr cycle and only shuffling through a random number posts, despite the fact that I can’t be up 24/7 lol; I just don’t like not getting the full picture on everything and acting on/reblogging things without all of the complete info. As a result, I would rather not break my 24/7+ Tumblr cycle than to start it again at all :c Secondly, I’m kind of sad to say that, as of recently, I haven’t been keeping up with K-pop as much as I used to. It’s not that I’ve necessarily lost interest in it (K-pop is still like 85% of what I listen to lol), but I certainly haven’t been keeping up with it as closely as I used to. For instance, I have no idea what’s going on with B1A4 right now, haven’t watched BTS’s new self-made MV for “Spine Breaker,” and haven’t gotten around to watching the last teaser for SEVENTEEN’s upcoming ALONE?? comeback (featuring our wonderful leader S.Coups :p). It’s not that I’ve completely dropped everything K-pop or have become totally disinterested; I still very much keep up with the latest comebacks and listen to whatever piques my interest. It’s just that I don’t know if I want to get so re-invested with all of the details surrounding K-pop again (tbh Tumblr gave me so much info on my favorite K-pop groups; I seriously regret missing all of the amazing shots of my biases’ beautiful faces that I’ve probably missed leol), or maybe I just need a good break from it all before starting again. Most likely, I’d say my small distance from my favorite pastime has mostly happened because I now have more things to do or think about atm haha, and just don’t really have any time right now to enjoy all of the K-dynamics that are happening behind the music. I don’t think I’ll ever give up listening to K-pop anytime soon though; like I’ve said before, I’m still very much keeping up with and enjoying whatever’s coming out right now.

Sooooo at this point, I’m not sure if I want to say I’m on a complete permanent indefinite hiatus yet. I still check Tumblr and my blog everyday – every now and then my dash – so it’s not like I feel like I’ve completely left Tumblr and the K-pop community on here as a whole... just yet :3 I have, however, thought about starting a side-blog that focuses solely on teaching, including my student teaching experience. I’ve also thought about writing some K-pop articles for this blog again... (I still really want to write that “Best K-pop Songs of 2016,” a review of B1A4′s third full LP, and/or similar pieces). Whether either of those musings will come into fruition over this passing summer, I don’t know yet, but I’ll keep you updated on either if I ever do, especially my educationally-focused blog. Aside from those thoughts, I’ve been planning on doing some extensive reading over the summer – with a goal to read a book a week! If any of you are interested and would like to check out what I’m currently reading and/or think about it, you can take a look at my Goodreads account here. Other than that, I’ve just been up to the usual: still practicing driving (hopefully I’ll get my license this summer!!), looking for a job, and chilling by watching some TV/movies :p (literally, when you become a teacher, EVERYTHING YOU WATCH BECOMES A POSSIBLE TEACHING TOOL WHERE YOU WONDER IF/HOW YOU COULD USE IT IN A CLASS HAHA. I’VE BEEN SPENDING MY BREAK WATCHING THE HARRY POTTER MOVIES AND I NOW PAY MORE ATTENTION TO HOW THE TEACHERS REACT TO ALL OF THE KIDS’ SHENANIGANS VS. HOW I WOULD PAY MORE ATTENTION TO THE MAIN CHARACTERS AS A KID LOL. I’d really love to be a Professor McGonagall or Snape someday :p). So as far as the current activity of this blog goes, I think I’m going to keep it at “temporary-hiatus-because-I’m-currently-in-a-heavy-transition-period-and-still-am-very-unsure-of-how-this-will-all-pan-out??” That sounds like it’ll do for now. I definitely don’t think I want to distance myself from Tumblr just yet, but at the same time, I don’t believe I’ll be able to be as involved with everything on it as I once was :ccc

Lastly, I’d like to thank everyone who’s stayed with me and this blog so far. With this current announcement, feel free to unfollow this blog if it is no longer what you require in your daily re-bloggin’ life; I completely understand and only wish you the very best~ 🌸 :3 I don’t have a lot of followers as a whole, but I do have a handful of very lovely and precious people that I’ve met on this site; you know who you are~  💖🌠🦄✨👌 Sorry for not keeping in more constant touch; I hope all of you and your beyond-wonderful blogs are doing well~ 💎🌟😊 For those of you who have just joined my blog – WELCOME, and I hope you enjoy your stay~  ❤️ On another note, I should probably get to all those things I was tagged in... if it’s not too late haha. I love y’all and hope nothing but the BEST awaits your future!!~

Snap that was really A LOT more than just a “quickie” update haha. I know that I probably should have updated on everything that’s been happening in my life much sooner, but honestly, I didn’t feel like anything merited me getting too excited about getting through this school year unless I had 100% confirmation that I had passed the $300 test lol (it’s called the edTPA btw, for anyone who might be curious :p). Without passing that test, I probably would have had to spend at least another $100 to re-take some parts of the test, which would have delayed my being able to apply for an eligible teacher’s certificate in my state, which would have dangerously hindered me from being able to teach at all. So thanks for your patience – both for reading this post and sticking around this blog long enough to see me write it :p Hopefully I’ll get a teaching position and figure this all out soon; until then, I’ll definitely keep y’all posted~!! ✨