#also people who make it their mission to dog on this ship kinda suck too

[maskofnova]

The whispurge Community has such a bad reputation at this point. Which is crazy to me because i dont talk to anyone on sonictwt outside of a couple comment sections. But occasionally ill just search “whispurge” by latest to find new stuff. And half the time its discourse about something that feels like its on another continent from me. I feel like there was basically nothing about it though back in like February cause noone thought much of it.

What the hells going on over there lol. I hope i dont personally have a bad wrap. I try to be civil and stay out of discourse for the most part. Because im like. Too old to bother with ship discourse for sonic the hedgehog.

Bothers me a bit though since i really like drawing them :/c

But if anyones curious, i have no horse in this race :v Sonurge, whispangle, whispurge, sonadow, pure platonic nothingness, its all good with me. I just find these two to be the most fun for me personally to draw.

[braincoins]

Unusual Halloween Movies

Tired of Jason, Freddy, and Michael? Want something new this year? Boy, do I have some treats lined up for you! I’ve used JustWatch to list the streaming options (though these are US streaming options; I maaaaay be up for some streaming fun on Halloween...). I’ll tell you right now, this list can almost perfectly be broken into three categories: Horror-Comedy, Sci-Fi Horror, or International Horror.

American Mary -  A medical student drowning under tuition debt finds a lucrative practice when she enters the world of body modification. ngl, I remember liking this movie but it’s been a bit since I saw it, so for the CONTENT WARNINGS I’m going to straight up rip the MPAA here: Rated R for strong aberrant violent content including disturbing images, torture, a rape, sexual content, graphic nudity, language and brief drug use

Ava’s Possessions - Ever wonder what life is like once all your demons have been exorcised - literally? Now that Ava is free of the demon that once possessed her, she’s out of a job, down a few friends, and facing charges for the acts of violence her demon did. The only way to get out of trouble is to go to the demon-equivalent of AA. CONTENT WARNINGS: mostly blood and bad language; some mild sexual content 

Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon - A journalism grad student interviews a young man in training to be the next slasher killer, ala Jason/Freddy/Michael. An absolute treat of a movie for anyone who loves slasher films; it’s about 3/4 mockumentary, 1/4 actual horror film when she realizes that, no, really, he’s going to go kill all those co-eds. CONTENT WARNINGS: Blood, gore, naked boobs (”Ugh. Is that REALLY necessary?” “Now, Taylor, who’s telling this story?”), sex, occasional panty shots (because, again, slasher films). 

Bubba Ho-Tep - OH MAN another one I had to go back and add in ‘cause REALLY NOW. Elvis is in a nursing home (at least, he says he’s the real Elvis) and he and JFK (who is played by Ossie Davis - who you will note is NOT white) have to fight off a resurrected mummy who sucks the souls of the living out of their assholes. Bruce Campbell stars. HOW IS THAT NOT AWESOME ENOUGH FOR YOU?! CONTENT WARNING: Um... look, I think you kinda already know what sort of content to expect given what I just told you about the story.

Bulbbul (Netflix Original) -  (Hindi Language) During the 19th century Bengali Presidency, something - or someone? - is haunting the woods around a lord’s estate, killing men in gruesome ways. The lord has left his estate in charge of his young wife, while his younger brother, who’d been away studying in London, returns to hunt down whatever is causing these mysterious deaths. CONTENT WARNINGS: child bride, blood, and what Netflix calls “sexual violence”, meaning a rape scene so graphic (despite not showing any nudity or genitalia) that it is GUARANTEED to make you uncomfortable. The movie was written and directed by a woman, so there is nothing intended to be “sexy” about this at all. If you can make it through that scene, though, there is a definite payoff for it. (Or should I say “payback”?)

Eli (Netflix Original) - A young, incredibly sick boy with a fragile immune system is brought by his parents to a clinic for an experimental treatment that may be their last hope. But all is not as it seems within the walls of this place... perhaps literally. CONTENT WARNINGS: mostly just language, a few mild jump scares. People get set on fire at one point. No biggie. 

Errementari: the Blacksmith and the Devil (Netflix Original) - (Basque Language) Based on a Basque folk tale. Eight years after the First Carlist War, a government official comes to a small, impoverished Basque town asking after the blacksmith. Everyone tries to warn him away; the blacksmith is an evil, evil man. But he is on the trail of some Carlist gold that might be in the smithy, and the prospect of the gold wins him some helpers. And while everyone is distracted by that, a young orphan girl manages to get onto the blacksmith’s property. And what she finds there, no one could have expected... CONTENT WARNINGS: I took a screenshot of Netflix’s list of warnings just because it amuses me:

[sings “One of these things is not like the others...”]

Europa Report - Look, I really can’t recommend this enough for fans of found-footage features and people who can stand slower-paced, constantly-building terror. An international mission is sent to investigate Europa, one of the moons of Jupiter. (Those of you who are fans of real-world space exploration know that Europa is considered a prime target for extraterrestrial life within our solar system.) Contact was lost with the mission for a long time, until the data streams came flooding into Earth all at once. And what they showed... CONTENT WARNINGS: Like I said: slower pace than most horror/thriller movies. It builds slow and steady. There’s really not much in the way of blood and gore, though; an excellent example of terror without resorting to buckets of red corn syrup.

Event Horizon - Hellraiser in Space? Hellraiser in Space. Except the Lamentation Configuration is a fucking SPACE SHIP. Also, props for genre-savvy cast. CONTENT WARNINGS: EYE SCREAM. Blood, gore, and, no really, THE EYE THING. Did I mention the gore and the blood? Oh, and language. And blink-and-you-miss it nudity & sex.

Grabbers - Strange creatures are attacking a small Irish coastal town and the only way to protect yourself is... to be drunk? CONTENT WARNINGS: I mean, it’s Irish and everyone’s drunk, so bad language (by American standards) is a given. That’s... really about it, unless you have a tentacle phobia.

Green Room -  An up-and-coming punk band show up to play a gig and realize too late that they’re playing at a Neo-Nazi club. And when they happen to see something they... really shouldn’t have, it becomes an all-out fight for survival. Same director as Murder Party, though this movie was made later with a much better budget. CONTENT WARNINGS: Violence, blood, gore, and yes, some dogs die because they were trained to be vicious attack dogs by Neo-Nazis. :( Also, the most important content warning of all? PATRICK STEWART PLAYS A NEO-NAZI. (You think I’m joking, but for someone who grew up with him as Jean-Luc Picard, it is downright unsettling to see, okay?)

Life - Think Alien meets Europa Report (above). The six-member crew of the International Space Station are given a sample from Mars that might contain actual extraterrestrial life.  CONTENT WARNINGS: Blood. No, let me say that again: BLOOD. Sounds of bones breaking. Alien creature entering someone’s mouth and killing them from the inside (probably through a combination of choking them/asphyxiating them on their own blood/devouring their blood? It’s not clear, it’s just UNSETTLING).

Murder Party - This is what happens when snobby art school brats try to kill someone. (Read: it doesn’t go well.) Fuckin’ bop of a Halloween song over the end credits, too. Also, at least two characters are canonically bisexual. Same director as Green Room, though this movie was made first (with a much lower budget). CONTENT WARNINGS: bad language, blood, gore, nudity, mild sexual content (the nudity is supposed to be “artistic”). The dog probably DOES die, given the circumstances, but it doesn’t happen on screen, at least? And the dog gets some pretty decent comeuppance first... Also, 1000000% accurate cat representation. 

The Perfection (Netflix Original) - A former cello virtuoso (virtuosa?) gets in touch with her former teacher and meets his new star pupil. An instant connection is formed between the two women... or is it? (Yes, there are lesbians!) CONTENT WARNINGS: oh chaos, where do I start? Bugs under the skin, hacking off body parts, blood, gore, mild sexual content, sexual abuse, and the movie itself is complete and utter MINDFUCKERY. Did you like “Tales from the Crypt” as a kid? You’ll probably dig this. 

Ravenous - With apologies to all Native Americans, but at least they did get actual Native American actors for those parts (George is played by a Pueblo actor; his sister Martha is played by an actress of Menominee and Stockbridge-Munsee descent). A soldier who won a questionable victory during the Mexican-American war is given a hero’s status and then an exile to a remote fort in the Sierra Nevadas. Not long after he arrives, a would-be settler arrives with a harrowing tale, calling for help for what few survivors there are of his wagon train. The two friendly Native Americans at the fort issue warnings that go unheeded, of course. CONTENT WARNINGS: Blood, gore, cannibalism, PTSD.

Slither - James Gunn’s 2006 Feature Movie Directorial Debut! He wrote it, too. An homage to B-movie gore flicks like you’d see at the drive-in. I am just copying and pasting the IMDB summary ‘cause I love this movie too much to be concise about it: A small town is taken over by an alien plague, turning residents into zombies and all forms of mutant monsters. (Oh, but don’t forget the nasty, slithery blood worm things!) CONTENT WARNINGS: Nasty, slithery blood worm things. GORE, BLOOD, GORE, GORE. A very uncomfortable sex scene. Michael Rooker.

They’re Watching - An American TV crew filming what is essentially “House Hunters: Eastern Europe” stumble into superstitions, folklore, and... TERROR!! MWAHAHAHAHA. No, seriously, I LOVE how it’s basically “What if some HGTV crew wound up waaaaaaaay in over their heads, in a horrible and bloody way?” CONTENT WARNINGS: Blood, gore, and NO WI-FI.

[deerlyloved]

grief

under cut: a story of mei’s friends coping with her death, at least until...

There was no average time for how long it took people to grieve. Every mind processed loss differently, mourned differently, so there was no way to actually tell how long it would take someone to get better ‘usually’. 

Maybe it was a few weeks, a month, a few years, never. Everyone did it differently. So when the entire unit was placed on mandatory bereavement leave for an undisclosed amount of time after the loss of Private Amari, they all found themselves at different points at different times, coping entirely differently.

Jonas couldn’t bear to look at his workspace, and more often than not he laid in bed or on the couch when he was dragged out by Ana, who’s only understanding of how to grieve was to help others around her. She was the eldest sister, so she saw it as her job to make sure everyone took care of themselves while she barely stopped to take care of her. Get Jonas up, make him eat, calm Rea down, call Icka and get no response, find Kro, offer to cook H something and get no response.

Clockwork. The unit always, always ran like clockwork, even when things were the most chaotic and unorganized. Rea didn’t wake them up anymore, so Ana did it instead. After an hour, she’d go knock on the captains door and pretend she didn’t notice how shaky he looked when he opened it and pretended to be annoyed with her. They rarely saw hide nor hair of H anymore, but that was expected, right? So Ana left food outside their door three times a day, talked to them through the walls, reminded them that the others would always, always be there for the Kayojin, and that they could stay on the unit or leave at their own will.

Kro’asha didn’t skitter through the vents because most of them passed Amari’s room, so Ana fetched things here and there that he had stashed… before. 

Iggy was contained. Major’s orders. He was getting some great treatment, but apparently it was hard for the not-dog to rebond with someone like he did Mei. Ana got it, she’d feel the same way if she were a poor little alien canine.

The carpet was singed from the dogs last outburst before he was deemed a health hazard.

Karen disappeared. The moment they got back to base, the android disappeared, took a ship out of the Citadel and had gone completely off the grid. That made plenty of sense too, of course, Mei made Karen so of course the robot would be similar to her. Maybe it was good that they had left… the witty comebacks would have sat heavy on their hearts.

Her feet slid against the carpet as she carried a mug out to the living room, leaning over the back of the couch to offer it to Jonas. The man was curled up, silently watching a movie on the TV. He sighed, though, and took the cup offered to him with a quiet thanks.

“No problem, Jonesy.” Ana replied, teasingly, though her tone made the real hollowness of her words stick out like a sore thumb.

They both went quiet again, and they stayed that way for a few minutes before Jonas spoke up this time. The engineer leaned forward, setting the mug of cocoa down and locking his hands together. “I think we need to clear out Mei’s room.”

“Wow, first thing you’ve said today and you’re already off to a bad start.”

“No, no, I…” Jonas sighed and rubbed his face roughly before he spoke again, “Ana, it’s just… It’s just there. Full of everything that she was, and would be, and it’s like a fucking ghost just staring all of us down. I think it’s why H doesn’t leave their room. Hard to look across and see Mei’s room, ya know? And I…” He scanned the room around them, “I don’t think we should trash it, just… I think we should pack it up. Get rid of all the little ghosts that she left.”

“You wanna just erase our friend out of our lives?” Ana scoffed, “No. No! We’re not just going to pack everything away! Mei belongs… She belongs here! She can’t just get pushed in the back of all our minds!”

“She won’t be!” Jonas retorted, “It’s impossible to forget Mei even if you want to, and none of us want to, Ana. We also don’t need constant reminders that she used to be here, and now she’s not. I’m not saying today, or tomorrow, just… Eventually. Eventually we need to accept that it’s okay to put all her stuff away and move on.”

“I’m sure Icka’s gonna have a ton to say about that.” Ana mumbled to herself.

“If she ever comes back.”

“I…” She had lost this argument, she already knew it. Even if she didn’t want to admit it, Jonas was right. They didn’t need to leave Mei’s books out, or her shoes, the cat keychain she had imported… Those could all be put away, for their sake, and they wouldn’t stop thinking about Mei.

…But there was no way in Hell she was going to be the one who presented the idea to Rea.

The man was a bit of a hard-ass before he started the grieving process, but now? When he could be bothered to interact with his friends at all, he never followed schedule. He’d show up, ask how they were, then leave. Headed back for the training room. If you asked him anything between that, whether a general question or a request, you were going to get told to do it your own damn self.

Everyone grieves differently.

Rea worked, and got frustrated, and didn’t want anymore responsibility because he knew, knew, knew that he was the reason Mei died.

Jonas couldn’t work, and he was quiet and sleepy because he never slept anymore, hard to when all he could think about was how he could have stopped it from happening. Maybe if he’d just moved the sensors here, or made them stronger, or gone further up with the metal, or…

Icka formally resigned from her position as a medic and unit psychologist and went back to her home planet. She never talked to the unit anymore. Sometimes you just need to get as far away from your issues as possible.

H was mourning in their own way that was certainly frustrating for the rest of them. Ana cared for others to never think of her feelings. Kro’asha left the duplex and spent most nights in the general bunks so he wouldn’t have to see Mei’s things. Karen left the CCF entirely. Iggy bit people.

Clockwork. The unit ran like clockwork. Get Jonas up, make him eat, calm Rea down, call Icka and get no response, find Kro, offer to cook H something and get no response.

 Get Jonas up, make him eat, calm Rea down, call Icka and get no response, cry in the bathroom, find Kro, offer to cook H something and get no response...

Get Jonas up, make him eat, cry in the bathroom, calm Rea down, call Icka and get no response, cry in the bathroom, find Kro, offer to cook H something and get no response, cry in the bathroom.

Get Jonas up, cry in the bathroom, make him eat, cry in the bathroom, calm Rea down, cry in the bathroom, call Icka and get no response, cry in the bathroom, find Kro, cry in the bathroom, offer to cook H something and get no response, cry in the bathroom.

Cry yourself to sleep, then get Jonas up, then cry in front of him, then make him eat, then cry in the bathroom, then…

Ana was given mandatory meetings with another therapist as opposed to the grief counselor the unit was talking to already.

Three months, fourteen days, Kro’asha rejoined the duplex. Four months, three days. Jonas got up and made his own food. Five months, sixteen days, Rea woke everyone up at 7am. Seven months, eight days, Ana went through and packed away everything of Mei’s. Seven months, twenty days, H came out and joined them for dinner. Eight months, nine days, Icka called the unit.

Nine months, ten days, Karen sent them coordinates.

“Mandatory bereavement leave is mandatory.” Rea said as he followed his friends through the docking bay of the Citadel ship, “If they know we’re leaving for a possible mission, we’ll get added therapy, and I don’t think any of us want that.”

“Maybe you don’t, but I think Icks could use it.” Jonas replied.

Icka didn’t reply. The avian had come back just to investigate the coordinates sent, and she was certainly not the same alien who had left. None of them mentioned it.

“Listen, as far as we know, this is Karen just inviting us out to their cool new house!” He said, “No need to go worrying, okay?”

“When is anything that simple when it comes to an Amari?” Rea replied.

“He has a point.” Ana said as she stopped in front of a ship and turned, “This is the one we got, real clunker, but it’s not for fighting anyway so if we get in trouble… We’re thoroughly fucked.”

“We should not get in trouble.” H pipped up.

“Yeah, ‘cause Mei--ehhhhhhhhsnevermind.” Jonas quickly pushed past Ana to clamber onto the ship.

Everyone boarded quickly, got settled even quicker, and soon enough the on-leave unit was off with a rented pilot. “So, where are you guys headed? These are kinda in-the-middle-of-nowhere coords…” She asked.

“A friend invited us out to them, we figure they’ve either decided to go all mad-robot on us finally, or they have some cool party planned.” Ana replied.

“Cool, cool, but uh… Why on this place?”

“What place?”

“Do you guys not know?” The pilot cocked an eyebrow, leaning up to flip down a holographic screen that projected the area they were headed to, “It’s some little rinky-dink dwarf-planet set up, real seedy place. Mercs love the area.”

“Sounds like Amari territory…” Rea grumbled.

“Yeah, well, just be careful out there, it’d be a shame if I had to go home empty handed. Major’ed be all over my ass…” She sighed, her long, curled ears flicking.

The trip didn’t take much longer until the on-leave-unit saw the planet in the distance. The cities built on it clearly took up most of the area, the geography was all over the place but mainly seemed to be plains and hills, and as they approached the ground and actually broke the cloudline into the city it became very clear that this place was, in fact, ‘rinky dink’. The buildings were in poor condition, the streets were packed, the ships parked in the bay all looked stolen or like they were about to be hauled off for scrap. Rea sucked in air and sighed.

“Alright, we’re going to stick together out there, no need getting lost. H, try and stay somewhere in the middle, you’re incredibly small.”

“Kro’asha is smaller than me.”

“That’s why he’s going to be jumping on my shoulders. We aren’t that close. So stay close to me.”

The group unfurled themselves from their seats and piled out onto the streets. It definitely smells like a city, despite how cramped and busy it seemed the air was clean, the water was clean… Good ol’ Citadel influence.

“Coordinates are up ahead, a little to the right.” Rea announced as he led the group through. He was certainly an intimidating figure, and the crowd seemed to begrudgingly part for him as he walked through with little concern for who was in front of him. 

“What, in the apartments?” Jonas asked from the back of the group, “Shit, Ana, you might be right, Karen’s inviting us to their house.”

“Never that easy.” Rea retorted as he cleared a path towards the clearly labeled apartment complex, opening the gate and letting his friends file through. “No one make a scene, okay?”

“Yeah, ‘cause I was planning on doing some fuckery.” Jonas replied.

“I mostly meant Kro’asha and Icka, but I do appreciate the energy.” 

“Can we please just go inside?” Icka replied, a harsh tone to her voice. That was definitely knew for the group, and all of them seemed to share the same discomfort as they nodded and walked quickly for the entrance. As soon as they had all filed in, a young alien at the front desk turned to them, and went pale. Their hands were webbed, but they still typed at the computer in front of them quickly as they stared at the group with large, completely pink eyes. They almost looked like a frog, honestly.

“Karen Amari is in 247, they’ve been expecting you. They said you’re late.” They said, motioning for the group to head towards an elevator.

“This is terrifying.” Ana stated.

“We are on time, I don’t know why Karen said we’re late.” 

“Focusing on the real issue as always, H.”

Still, despite the obvious discomfort that the building held, the feeling that they were walking into a trap, the unit persisted. What else were they going to do, ya know? They’d already made it all the way out here, and knowing Karen, they’d kill the whole group if they never showed up.

The large group managed to cram themselves into the elevator, then down the narrow, twisting hallways that led to Karen’s apartment. That they somehow got… The Amari’s really were an enigma, weren’t they?

H was the first to spot the door, stepping over to it and giving a simple knock. Before they could rapt their knuckles against the wood a second time, though, the door swung open to reveal Karen, staring out at them all. Their stickers and bow had been peeled off, and they seemed to have acquired some new… stains that definitely-were-not-blood… But it was Karen.

“Hello.”

“Hello, H.” Karen replied, “It’s nice to see you, I’m glad you all made it, I’m going to need as much help as I can get with this.” The android stepped back and motioned for them all to come in, “It’s easier to have familiar faces here, reduces time spent in a natural state--”

“Karen, I’m begging you, begging you,” Icka said, “To please, those above, not waste our time mumbling vagueness and incoherent sentences, and just tell us why we’re here. I came a very long way, and I’d like to get back to my pottery and mourning in peace, thank you.”

“I see grief has left its mark on you.” Karen replied quickly, “A shame that it was all for not.”

“Charming as always when it comes to opinions on emotions, K.” Jonas murmured.

“All for not, because you had no reason to grieve. Mei is alive.”

Nine months, eleven days, and Karen had gone fucking insane.

H was the first to reply with a grimace and a firm shake of their head, “No, she is not.”

“Yes, she--”

“No, no, Mei died in my arms, she is not alive. You can’t tell me she is. You can’t make me believe that. You can’t.”

Ana reached a hand out to put on the Kayojins shoulder with her own grimace, “Karen, you should come with us, okay? You obviously aren’t doing well out here, and… Listen, I know it’s easier to believe--”

“Would you like to see her?”

The silence that overcame the group was deafening and instant. H’s breath hitched, Icka’s feathers puffed, Rea simply closed his eyes and shook his head almost disappointedly. Despite their pleas, how desperately they wanted to not fall for something so impossible, H spoke up, breathily, “Yes.”

“Over here.” Karen turned and walked towards the other side of the apartment, where the walls had been carefully cut to reveal the apartment next door. They walked through the gap they had clearly created, and stood off to the side to reveal a large room that was clearly better taken care of than the rest of the building. A soft lighting shone into a covered box that was connected to different canisters and boxes with long, thick hoses, and Karen carefully stepped over them to reach a screen just on the other side of them.

“She took the idea from her father, he wanted to use Talvak genetic research to help heal injuries, but never perfected it before his death. She had an endless supply of Talvak DNA, however, which made it easier.” Karen was intensely staring at the screen as they typed in various things, “The base idea was there, but Mei also never finished the project before her death, which left it in the very capable hands of me, her firstborn.”

Silence. 

“I don’t know why I was expecting a response.” The android murmured before carefully pushing the curtain that draped the box off to the side of it’s rod, revealing a UV light shining down on a metal capsule. The top of it had a glass window, though the group was too far away to see inside, wires and the likes connecting it…

“Come here, H.”

They were moving without a second thought, nearly stumbling over to the robot and hopefully moving to their toes to peer into the container in front of them. They had an aching feeling that it would be empty, that they wouldn’t see whatever they were expecting… Mei, or someone like Mei, or...or… Something. Anything to remind them of her. But they still looked, just in case, just in case Karen hadn’t truly lost themself in the grief.

And wouldn’t you know it…

Black hair, pointed ears, sharp features… No scars, but still so very much Mei Amari, and H’s heart skipped a beat, their breath stopped. This couldn’t be real, could it? No, no, she was dead, so very dead, and she didn’t look like this when she died, but here she was and… And she looked just like her old pictures. With her dad. 

H spoke in Kayojin, and the unit each had their own hopes as they crept forward.

It was… a loud few minutes.

Finally, Icka lurched forward and grabbed Karen’s shoulder with a frantic look in her eyes and a wide, sharp-toothed smile, “How. How did you do this? Is that her? Really her?”

“Mei was careful to have a constant digitization of herself both mentally and physically. She often scanned and mapped out the salient features of her brain, and then stored and copied that information state into a harddrive that just so happens to be me.” Karen explained it like it made sense, like it was absolutely nothing.

“The day before the mission, she uploaded, and using what DNA I had from her I was able to facilitate a regeneration of a biological body with the information I had. Of course, I also needed her actual body so I… Listen, is it important? She’s here! And I broke intergalactic law, so I would rather not tell you every detail.” The robot gently removed Icka’s talons, “I spent months perfecting her body and keeping it alive, and her brain was no help, always trying to rebel against the process. I tried releasing her once,” Their yellow hand brushed up against an obvious dent in their chassis, “It appears that when initially released, she’s reverted back to her Talvaa instincts until her brain can properly cope with what’s happened.”

“So… You… You brought us here to make her remember us?”

“Correct. Step back please, all of you. Please be warned, she is very naked, and given her last physical scan was after her amputations… While she can’t walk, she’s still very fast.”

It’s an odd thing, standing back so a robot can open up a metal box that contains a reconstructed version of your girlfriend. But H did it, nervously, hopeful, hands clasped as the lid raised with a hiss and Mei sat straight up with a cough and a sputter, leaning right over the side of the container with a dry heave and a shudder.

“Mei.” Karen called.

Mei flinched away from the noise, snarling as she jumped back further into the box she sat in. Everything about her seemed wrong in that moment, the way her body moved, the look in her eyes, and that’s why H stepped forward. They couldn’t help it, they saw Mei and she looked so scared and the last time she had looked like that… It made H’s stomach churn, and when they stepped forward Mei’s head snapped towards them.

It was a tense few seconds, silent seconds, and Rea also moved forward to put a hand on H’s shoulder, just in case… Listen, he didn’t want to boot a friend he’d missed for months across the room, but he would if she was about to bite someone.

Thankfully, that moment never came. The confusion and fear on Mei’s face slowly faded, and she blinked rapidly before she shook her head and looked back up at H. Then, a smile. A stupid, crooked, fanged smile as the Japanese woman leaned forward and motioned for H to come forward.

“Shit, I feel like I died.” She joked as the Kayojin stumbled forward, throwing their arms around her as soon as they could and pulling her into a tight hug. “Least I don’t…” Mei tightly hugged them back with a grin, “Least I don’t look like death, right? ‘Cause I know my ass looks great naked.”

[axelsagewrites]

Fred Weasley*Afterlife

Ship(s): Fred x reader, platonic!maruaders x reader

Request: nope

Warnings: Death

Masterlist HERE

Wattpad HERE

People were trickling in here one by one. Occasionally we’d have a bigger burst of them. The only job up here was too great them.

Sure, people die all the time but there are different sectors they send the newbies too. You can travel through the sectors but the older the sector the fewer visitors. They try to put you in a sector with people you mention in your paperwork.

Because of the number of people and sectors work was normally slow but I still preferred this job. I’m always meeting new people as a greeter.

Our sector is separated from the muggles and only squibs can visit with special passes. This meant when tragedies happened, we had less inflow than the muggle areas. Tsunami’s and other natural disasters cause a spike in numbers. The world wars must’ve really screwed the muggle sectors over.

Recently though we’d been hit hard. The wizarding war was going on. Voldemort was a prick and now he’s making the job harder. Every time there was a battle it was even worse. Luckily processing alerts, us when their queues getting long. Man, I'd hate that job.

The red light started flashing meaning we had a rush come in. the rushes normally lasted a couple days because of the paperwork and formalities. Someone told me it was a battle at Hogwarts or something like that. Everyone was scared and confused.

To get from processing to greetings they have to go through something like the floo network where they show at a random greeter in the sector, they’ve been placed in. I only had one more before a break. Thank merlin.

I sat in my swivel chair with my feet on my admittedly too messy desk when the fireplace lit up blew and suddenly there was Ia tall ginger standing in my office, gawking at everything. I kinda stared at him for a few seconds till he noticed me. Before he could say anything, I stood up “I’m (Y/N) and you are,” I held my hand up and his file materialised in my hand. He jumped, “Fred Weasley?” He nodded, “Perfect. Have a seat,”

“What is this place?” he asked as he took a seat at my desk.

Dropping his file onto my desk, I sat down, “They didn’t explain it to you?” I asked as I opened my computer. Thank merlin for computers. If I had to handwrite this id go insane.

“Well kind of but they were pretty um busy,” he looked down.

I nodded, glancing at the cause of death on his file, “Hogwarts?” I asked and he nodded, “Okay so basically you’re dead. Standard questions include, where am I? who are you? Can I go back? And what about my family? So basically, you’re in the afterlife. I’m (Y/N), I’ll be your greeter. My job is to make sure you understand, and things run smoothly. You’ll have a meeting with me about every two weeks for the first few months. No, you can’t go back. I’m not death, I don’t make the rules. And finally, any dead family members you can travel around the afterlife to meet and you can watch over the alive ones if you choose,” I said. His mouth was partly open, and he was just staring at me, “Simple really,” I said.

I turned to my computer since his e-file had shown up. “How do I know if my families alive?”

“I can look it up,” I mumbled as I filled some basic stuff in, “but we need to do some stuff first.” I went through a list of standard questions and organised everything. “Okay so we do give you a job assignment at first but that’s just to keep your mind off…other things? Either way, you do that, but you can quit after a month and then you can work or not. It's whatever really. you’ll be assigned a house or flat. You only get to move if you’re family size increases or you follow the standard moving system. The computers just generating your accommodation and you’ll get your job assignment some point this week. Understand?” Fred slowly nodded. “You’ll get used to it. Any questions?”

“My family. How do I- “

“I’ll pull it up,” I say as I click on the family section, “how many years do you want to go back?”

“Um, I don’t know. 10 I guess?”  I nodded and typed in the information. “I have brothers and a sister. I wanted to check on them,”

“Coolio. Well, this is either good or bad news,” I said, turning to look at him, “They're not in the system.” I said which made his face scrunch up, “They’re alive. Theirs no parents either so they're alive as well. Only deceased people show up on this. I can look up any deceased pets and request for them to be sent over here,”

“No that’s okay,” Fred looked down at his lap. “Is it bad that I wanted one of them to be dead?” he whispered.

I took a deep breath, “I get it. I was 19 when I came here. Its been 20 years and I’m the only one of my immediate family. It’s hard because you want them to be happy, but you also want them here. There is a place for you to go watch over them but try not to get sucked in,”

“Can I go there? I-I want to see them.” Fred’s eyes were watering up. Most people were sad coming here but this time I completely got it. Id fell in that loop of endlessly watching my family. “Please?” his voice cracked.

“Okay,” I nodded, standing up. “Follow me,”

The standard viewing areas were normally extremely busy, but we had one in our office for newbies. Fred was hesitant to step onto the cloud floor “You need to trust me,” I said, stepping onto it, “See?” He nodded and copied me then we walked down the corridor till we found an empty section.

Once we got to a free one, I walked in and shut the door, Fred follows me. “This is your ID number and password,” I handed him a piece of paper, “Type it in there,” I pointed to the screen. He nodded, taking the paper and quickly punching in the numbers, “Okay now go to the menu, click watch, now you can scroll through and pick. Families automatically added but we can add more people at your request,”

Fred had already clicked on one before I could finish. “Why can’t I see anything?” He asked, frantic.

“Copy me,” I stepped into the screen. A wave of cold then a hot flashed ran over me then I was standing in a shoddy looking house.

A second later a pop was heard, and Fred was beside me. “George!” He said, rushing over to a boy who looked just like him? “Why can’t he hear me?”

“Because you’re not there. We’re watching,” I said. “He’s your twin?” Fred nodded, “Is this all your family?”

Fred looked around the room and nodded, “Yeah,” he gulped, “Mum, dad, Ginny, Ron, Charlie, bill…” he stared at one boy, “Percy. He finally was coming back,” he started to cry.

“I’ll let you be alone. I'll wait in that room okay?” Fred nodded.

Fred took a while, but I didn’t mind. When he arrived back his eyes were red and puffy. “How do you cope?” He asked.

“You just have too,” I shrugged, “this is it. You don’t get sick here, you don’t die here, I mean you can dream in your sleep,” I don’t mention ghosts and angels, not wanting to get his hopes up, “You kind of have to find a new family while you wait for your old one,”

“That’s sick,” he said, the words sounding venomous, “They’re my family,”

“And they're alive. And you're dead! If life isn’t fair death is a whole lot worse,” I snapped.

Fred went silent. “How long have you been here?”

“17 years,” I whispered.

“Your family?”

“Alive and well. Hell, even my grandparents are kicking it. One healthy family, I guess,”

“How did you die?” Fred asked. My eyes widened. “Sorry, it’s just I- “

“It's alright,” I said “People don’t normally ask. Have you heard of the order of the phoenix?” I asked and he nodded, “I was a part of that. my friends were in hiding and I had been on a mission. I got home early and wanted to surprise them. I was going to go to my family but-but I didn’t,” I took a deep breath, “but when I got to Lily’s the door was open. James was already dead. I went upstairs and everything went so fast. Lily hit the ground as I walked in., he didn’t see me at first. He was going for the baby. I did what I had to do- “I was rambling, “There was chaos for a few seconds then silence. My heartfelt like it had been stretched like gum and next thing I knew I was at processing,”

“I’m sorry,” Fred said after what felt like an eternity.

“It's not your fault. Hell, you were probably a baby,” I tried to chuckle, “For so long I regretted it. I wanted nothing more than to go back and tell myself to go see my mum. I ended up here every day for hours just watching. Watching is the bit that hurts. On birthdays and special occasions sure. I got to watch my brother’s wedding last week,”

“I-I don’t think I can do this,” Fred stammered.

“I still don’t think I can. But I do. I wake up every morning and I keep going. I’m here for you Fred. I will help you,”

Turns out I was there for him more than I thought. He moved into my apartment complex and was just down the hallway. He met my friends and it turned out he knew Lily’s kid. Sometimes the table looked quite awkward because of how the age system worked. Sirius and James didn’t look like a pair that would be friends.

Years and decades went on and Fred and I started dating, something I never thought I would do in the afterlife. We’d both died so young without partners that it made it easier. As years went on more people joined us. My grandparents, a couple of his aunts, even my old dog.

Fred, James, and Sirius were at work but had agreed to meet me and Lily on our lunch break. As we waited Lily broke into a smile. “What?” I glanced over my shoulder.

“That’s Molly,” She said, “I need to go say thank you. Come with me,”

“what?”

“Please?” She said, grabbing my arm.

I sighed, “Fine okay,” I followed her.

Well, this was one way to meet my boyfriends mum. She looked frantic and puzzled than she saw Lily, “Ginny? No dear what- “

It's Lily,” She cut her off, “It's okay. Sometimes faces get confusing when you first arrive.” Molly’s face crumpled, “It's okay. Ginny’s alive and well,”

“How do you know that?” She snapped.

Lily looked at me. I held in a sigh, “I saw her the other day while you were sleeping. Harry will be with her,”

“How do you know this? How can you see her?”

“Did processing not explain this?” I asked. She shook her head, “You had Karren, didn’t you?” Molly nodded. I turned to Lily “we have got to get her fired,” I whispered. Lily nodded profusely.

“What’s going on? Fired from- “

“Mum?!” I looked to see Fred, James, and Sirius. Fred rushed over, “Mum!” Fred wrapped his arms around her.

Molly engulfed him in a hug, running a hand over his hair, “It’s really you Fred. It’s you,”

“It's me, mum,” I could hear him holding in sobs.

Eventually, they pulled away, “You haven’t aged a day,” Molly said, wiping tears away.

“I did always want to stay young forever,” he joked. Molly laughed. Fred looked over at me, “Mum this is (Y/N). They work at processing,”

“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Weasley,”

“You too dear. How do you know each other?” she asked.

Fred put his arm around me, “We’re dating,”

“You can do that here?” she said.

I couldn’t help but chuckle, “Yes. Let us show you around. Their nothing to worry about,”

[jhelenoftrek]

Relaunch Universe. Taking into account their conversations from Architects of Infinity, what does your JC "happily ever after" look like. Since her time hanging out with Gretchen in Indiana after returning from the continuum, I cant get the vision of KJ mucking about in the dirt, living a (somewhat) simpler life, and what the crew might think, seeing her/him/them together in that light. Additionally, how would it change the JC dynamic to finally be together fully out of the command experience?

Note: Minimal spoilers for ‘Architects ofInfinity’ here as well as ‘Eternal Tide’.

Ooh.  Okay. I’ve been sitting on this question a few days, thinking this through,cause it’s a great question.  Before I forget, thanks @sunkistlynnki for the ask!!  I never just get stuff out of the blue, but I certainly welcome it.

I think, A of I conversation or not, my “happilyever after” has always been the same.  I’mvery much in agreement with K. Beyer when it comes to their level of commitmentand how that should be portrayed.

I love that vision of KJreturning to some roots, physically and metaphorically.  Wouldn’t it be lovely to see her justplanting flowers and petting dogs and eating Chakotay’s cooking everynight?  That’s what she deserves,right?  But would she really behappy?  Eh… maybe for a littlewhile?  But this is the woman that tamedthe Borg!  She not only survived the DQ, shegot her crew home in 7 years, instead of 70. She explored all that shit and metall those lovely new alien people and LEARNED so much… she craves thatadventure and science and now, POWER that comes with being an Admiral – she mightnot admit it, but she’s high on those little admiral bars on her collar.  I’m sorry, but all of that drive and hard-earnedaccomplishments aren’t going to fall away because she’s got him in her bed.  We get a glimpse of how stir-crazy she is in “Night”with very little to do, I think after a while on the farm she’d be just as stircrazy and trapped again, and they both know it.

Him, on the other hand,he’s given up Starfleet how many times now? I think he’d honestly jump at the chance to be done with duty.  I know what he says in Eternal Tide about howimportant it is to keep exploring the DQ to protect the AQ/BQ and how it’s worthall their deaths to do so, but if Full Circle Fleet is recalled, I think he’dgive it up in a heartbeat. (Just like Beyer wrote in A of I).

I guess, I see themmeeting somewhere in that boring, realistic middle ground.  KJ as basically a desk Admiral – maybe ateaching one, or an advisor of some kind that lets her leave to negotiate blahbity-blahfrom time to time.  And Chakotay as anadjunct professor, instructor, occasional-shuttle-crasher, ‘oh-shit-we’re-short-on-Captains-can-you-do-this-mission-guy’.  If he does end up a professor, please dearSpirits don’t let him teach archeology.  Givethe man a Tactical class, ffs.  But atnight and on weekends they both find themselves transporting home to the familyfarm or some little cabin in the middle of nowhere and having amazing sex and tendingto the tomatoes until Monday.

Once they’ve finally hadenough, or if they get pushed out by the next generation in like 15-20 years,they’d probably retire fully and just travel around, but danger and intriguewould always follow them.  KJ is a magnetfor it, especially when she’s not looking.

I think the crew – especiallythe original Voyager crew – would bevery happy for them in whatever capacity they show their love.  I envision scuttlebutt to be like we see inmost fics “thank goodness it’s about fricking time”.  But, there’d be those who would be concerned,especially the officers that don’t know them as well.  Because for the time that they’re still bothin command, I’m sorry but that’s a HUGE conflict of interest.  It makes ME uncomfortable and I’m not on oneof those ships. We’ve spent 7 seasons hearing about how it’s not appropriate tohave ‘that kind’ of relationship due to the high-possibility of tough decisionsand BAM.  Here we are.  After how we (the audience and his closefriends) know how deeply and devastatingly he feels for her and vice-versa, areeither one of them gonna make that tough call? Yeah… probably will.  But it’sgonna suck nuts.  People are going to gethurt, no doubt.

Ok, the final part ofthe question.  How would settling downaffect the JC dynamic.  GREATLY.  And yet, not much. (are you sick of me yet?)  Let’s face it, these two have only ever really knowneach other in the command setting - him under her, him as advisor but herwith the final say.  That’d be a tough dynamic to get out of.  BUT also, Beyer hasdone a wonderful job of making them equals in their personal relationship – certainlynot without continual reminder and work as it should be.  Like Tom and B’Elanna, they keep clawingtowards the middle, one making up for the other and just always drawing theother back in.  (spoiler alert from this marriedlady, that’s love, folks.  That’s howreal relationships succeed, it’s fucking work).

It’d be a choppy year, Ithink, when she hangs up the uniform completely.  They’d have to compromise a lot and try prettyhard to find a new normal.  She’d be atad restless, he’d be too calm and it’d get under her skin.  She’d prod at him just a bit and he’d take ituntil he shouldn’t anymore.  They would,for sure, succeed. KJ doesn’t fail and certainly not at this.  But eeeeevery once in a while Chakotay’s gonnahave to be like “Kathryn, you can’t pull rank on me anymore,” just to kinda reestablishthat there is no pecking order.

Then she’d bat hereyelashes at him and sidle up to him and run her fingers through his hair andbe like, “But Chakotay, I really want Chinese for dinner.”

Eggrolls would be on thetable by 1800.

[whitlockienterprisespresents]

I kinda hated ‘The Last Jedi’

I know a lot of people have said as much already, and normally I avoid negativity on this blog. But I saw it a couple of weeks ago and it’s still bothering me. I gotta purge. Spoilers, obviously:

Look, the whole scene with the bombers and everything was objectively cool action (and the stuff with Paige and her eventual death was top-notch, I felt the weight of that), but basic entertainment aside, it was dumb as Hell. Why would you have those insanely slow-moving bombers, with their incredibly unsafe and idiotic set-up, and not even any shields to compensate? Why wouldn’t you get something with a nice compact missile that you can fire at range? How did they even get their bombers over to the Dreadnought before the Dreadnought deployed fighters to shoot the bombers down? There’s no element of surprise when your ships move at a fucking snail’s pace. Who cares if you took out the Dreadnought’s exterior guns when they have individual fighters to blast you with anyway? How were those slow as fuck bombers supposed to get away back to the main fleet after dropping their payload? Everything about the Resistance battle plan here was moronic, and the First Order’s failure to stop them anyway was illogical.

Normally, battle tactics wouldn’t bother me so much, but they used the Pyrrhic victory with the bombers as a reason to get Poe demoted. He obviously did not formulate that entire basic-ass battle strategy on his own, so the Resistance leadership should be slapping and demoting themselves for that, not blaming the Commander who flew the mission. Poe not calling off the attempt after he took just sliiightly longer to take out the Dreadnought’s surface cannons doesn’t actually change the fact that the battle plan was idiotic to start with. If they had retreated when Leia said, and I were the First Order, I’d have sent out fighters (or just used the cannons on one of the other ships) to blast those slow-ass bombers outta the sky anyway. They were super slow, guys. You can’t just ‘oops, abort’ those back to the fleet in an instant. The bombers were sitting ducks, essentially on a suicide run to start with. That ain’t Poe’s fault, that’s the entire Resistance’s dumbfuck fault. The fact that he ignored orders is still on him, but when the whole situation is so transparently manufactured for idiotic drama, that kinda steps on the message.

Leia engaging in the ancient and odious trope of ‘woman slaps man to express her distaste for his masculine antics��� is gross. She’s a fucking General, it makes her look bad to be ineffectually slapping faces. Delete this.

I totally expected to hate Poe in ‘The Force Awakens’ coz I thought he’d be the usual cliche insufferable ‘cocky hotshot pilot’. I was delighted when he was competent without being an egotistical wanker about it. The shoddy attempt to tell some half-assed ‘toxic masculinity’ story by making him into a hothead in this movie is basically character assassination (not to mention kinda racist to play that ‘hothead Latino’ cliche?), and I am not here for it.

Leia Force-floating her way back to the ship was really embarrassing. Also, having never had her use the Force so overtly in the past, something as significant as this felt out-of-the-blue. Her prior Force use has mostly been passive connection to others over vast distances, going from that to ‘oh yeah also I’ma Mary Poppins through space’ was a lot to swallow. But my main problem was just that it looked stupid. For all its flaws, this movie was mainly very visually impressive, and this was a low moment.

Where are all the other pilots we met in ‘The Force Awakens’? Are they dead? Is every side character we met just unceremoniously dead?

Also do not approve of the implicit suggestion that Poe doesn’t respect Holdo on sight (’not what I expected’) despite knowing of her credentials in past engagements. How does he not know this person who is high up on the Resistance roster, anyway? She’s a Vice-Admiral, and there’s not that many Resistance folks anyway, at least not on these few ships. Having a not-previously-sexist character respond poorly to new (specifically female) leadership just to service the aforementioned half-assed toxic masculinity plot is some bullshit. I fucking love dismantling toxic masculinity, don’t get me wrong, but they did it fucking badly here.

P.s. why is there a guy still on the med ship when it gets destroyed? He didn’t need to be there to steer it or anything, it was out of fuel and floating dead anyway. Why did they not fully evacuate. Why.

Look. Holdo was right to NOT tell Poe what’s going on just because he demanded to know, he is not actually entitled to the information. However, there is absolutely no good reason presented as to why she wouldn’t tell THE WHOLE FLEET what her plan was; when Leia says she was more interested in ‘keeping the light alive than in looking like a hero’, that’s a nice cushy sentiment, but you know how you keep the light alive? Hope. Keeping up morale. The Resistance spends almost the entire film just...flying...running out of fuel...nothing happening for hours...there’s really no sensible reason for Holdo NOT to let everyone know that there is a plan, there is hope, so hang in there. Poe is wrong to try and mutiny, obviously, but there is no logical plot reason for the narrative pushing him to that point. It’s not about whether or not Holdo capitulates to the aggressive demands of some guy, it’s about whether or not she keeps up morale by letting her own people know they’re not actually doomed. I don’t blame her for this as a character, I blame the shitty writing that is too busy trying to tell that aforementioned half-assed toxic masculinity plot. If your characters are all behaving illogically to service it, you’re not making much of a point. This shit was weak, and it reflected poorly on the characterisation of everyone involved.

Holdo and Leia talking about how they totally like Poe and whatever also weakens this whole plot. If your toxic-masculinity narrative ends with the women who have been wronged agreeing that they like the dude anyway (despite the fact that he committed treason?), you probably did it wrong. Also, they don’t know it yet, but Poe’s actions also get almost the entire Resistance wiped out due to exposing their escape plan, so, like. Cool guy. Yeah, I like him too. Coulda avoided all of this with some incredibly normal and expected level of information-sharing, but whatever. Poe is absolved and the attempted narrative thereby rendered useless. 

Holdo’s sacrifice, taking out the First Order ships? That shit was awesome, I won’t lie. Let the record show that Holdo was great, even if the story she was stuck in wasn’t. One complaint: what the fuck with this ‘Godspeed, rebels’ line? It sticks out like dog’s balls and it sucks. Stop trying to make ‘Godspeed, rebels’ a thing.

 Two complaints, actually: bad editing makes it seem like Holdo sat around for AGES before she enacted this plan, and that makes it seem like the First Order should have shot ALL of the transports well before she got the job done. Editing fucking fail.

MEANWHILE, Finn. Why is he barely in the movie? Why is he stuck in an asinine subplot that has no ultimate impact on the plot of the film whatsoever? Bullshit. One of the best, strongest, most dynamic characters from TFA, and they waste him on some pointless idiocy that does absolutely nothing with his character template. Nothing. Coulda replaced Finn with anyone in this subplot. Better yet, replace the SUBPLOT.

If Finn and Rose could jump ship easy-peasy like that, why did the Resistance not have most of their people jump ship in the same way? They coulda dispersed all over the place and regrouped later, or at least sent out messengers to get help (or...runners...for fuel?) instead of keeping everyone in the same place to be shot at by the idiotic First Order (who could have done about a trillion other things besides just flying after some ships for eighteen straight hours. Why does no one in this movie know how to plan anything?). Kinda kills the non-existent suspense of having the Resistance stuck and running outta fuel, huh?

Rose deserved better than this useless subplot where her chief function is to exposition-dump about Canto Bight.

Just-so-happening to get locked in the same cell with a guy who has exactly the skills you’re looking for is an old cliche, not a good one, but it feels extra weak and convenient here because it’s so late in the film and also, ultimately, so pointless. So fucking pointless.

When Finn and Rose saw those racing animals, I literally sighed in frustration, because it was so obvious where the plot was gonna go. Most of the action of this movie was still fun to watch even when it was stupid. This was not one of those times.

Trashing Canto Bight is still pointless, and mostly just makes me concerned for the children minding the animals, and for the animals themselves. All the rich war profiteers will still go on, they’ll just party somewhere else for a bit while reconstruction is happening. They don’t fucking care. The poor downtrodden children, however, will be punished, and the animals will either be killed or returned to the race track, they didn’t get away, they were just right there on the hill. Finn and Rose didn’t achieve anything triumphant here, they just got the already-suffering into a worse situation. Nice job breaking it, heroes. Did I mention this was pointless? Also, anvilicious. 

Why even bother bringing Phasma back when you’re just gonna dispose of her after the briefest fight ever. TFA did a bad job of making her seem like she existed for a reason anyway, but this just hung a lantern on it. Stupid convenient pointless fight/death scene is stupid, convenient, and pointless. 

(on the subject of pointless characters: why does Maz Kanata exist? TFA at least gave her something to do, but it all just feels like Lupita Nyong’o and Gwendoline Christie were a big deal when TFA was made so they made characters for them and went ‘eh, we’ll find an actual purpose for them later’, but then they...didn’t. It’s a waste of talent, and egregious, too. You know who does exist for a reason, and yet both this film and TFA did fucking NOTHING with her? Leia. I can’t believe they wasted her so much. There are so many wasted characters in this film, and the fact that most of them are the female characters does not escape my scrutiny)

 Hux is also mostly useless, for the record. The narrative gives him more attention than he's due, considering he's basically just 'random First Order commander', he doesn't have more personality than that. I don't really require more characterisation for my neo-Nazi villains anyway, but when the character framing keeps acting like the dude matters, it gets conspicuous.  

 YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER THAN THIS??? A spy in the Resistance. The only logical reason for Holdo to NOT tell her own people that they had an escape plan would have been if there was a spy in the fleet (say, someone who could be broadcasting the signal that the First Order was tracking...); a spy in the fleet is also a good way to create some actual tension and, um, narrative, instead of the fleet just doing that flying-in-a-line-for-a-whole-day thing with the illogical Poe/Holdo drama the only complication. You can still keep the Poe/Holdo stuff! Holdo's secrecy just makes sense now! It doesn't even require that Poe not know there's a spy - he could just as easily suspect that Holdo IS the spy, or at least feel that she's not trying hard enough to find out who is and is just consigning everyone to death instead of going on a witch-hunt, there's plenty of potential for different ways to play that without losing the core story (and while also, maybe, improving it...). But most importantly: we could keep Finn ON THE FUCKING SHIP INSTEAD OF OFF HAVING A RANDO POINTLESS DRAMA. Finn, as a former Stormtrooper, would be a prime suspect for a spy in the eyes of plenty of people! People get irrational under pressure! Finn's past making people mistreat him now would be a solid way for his actual characterisation to be part of his narrative, plus opens a lot of avenues for telling worthwhile socio-political narratives! Concern for Finn's safety and the desire to prove his innocence enhances Poe's story and motivation too! Rose can easily be made part of that narrative and can go on a character journey instead of being physically transplanted places just to provide exposition and jewellery! Having two narrative threads (Rey, and Poe/Finn combined, instead of Rey, Poe, and Finn) helps streamline the storytelling AND frees up time to actual explore those narratives thoroughly instead of wasting time on useless stuff and axing important plot developments to make it all fit! I COULD GO ON LIKE THIS FOREVER!!!

I have seen a lot of people insisting that the only reason Rose professing her love for Finn ‘comes out of nowhere’ is because Rose wasn’t presented like a sex object so audiences didn’t think of her that way, but, guys, no. It came out of nowhere because the two characters just had a buddy adventure over the course of a day and now suddenly Rose is in love? After a day? Her sister died, she went on an adventure, and now she loves this guy she just met. If they didn’t try to call it a romance thing (at least not yet! I got no problem with them developing a relationship after, y’know, more than a day!), it would have worked better; she can still stop him from sacrificing himself because she cares for him as a PERSON, not as a prospective partner. We need more of those narratives, tbh, and we need more young pretty female characters who don’t spontaneously develop romance subplots just by existing. 

SPEAKING OF WHICH, Rey. Rey’s story was so consumed with Kylo Ren, I keep forgetting she was there. How did the other great break-out character from TFA get co-opted into a vehicle for the Kylo Ren sob-story? Rey barely gets her own story here, it’s all really about either Kylo, or Luke. Female protagonist reduced to prop in men’s story. Whoopdi-fucking-doodah. 

 Look. I know Mark Hamill was very vocal about how much he disapproved of literally everything written for Luke in this film. He was right, too: it's fucking OOC garbage. BUT credit where it's due: the guy is still fucking delightful. I love bitter hermit Luke, but I'm giving all the credit to Mark Hamill for doing a fantastic job with the material he hated so much (plenty of that bitterness drawn from a real place, methinks), zero credit for the writing because the writing is, indeed, moronic. It's not that I don't believe Luke could become disenfranchised after what happened at his Jedi training temple: I can't buy that he'd end up in that situation in the first place. Luke Skywalker, who famously ditched his lightsabre in front of his Actual War Criminal father, Darth Vader, and saved the day by compassionately appealing to the goodness he solemnly believed could still be found in the old man despite all the genocidal evidence to the contrary? That Luke Skywalker is not gonna look at his young currently-innocent-of-any-crimes nephew and go 'shit, you've got evil in your heart' and decide to maybe just kill the lad in his sleep. I don't even buy that 'for a second'. Dude wouldn't slice a confirmed war criminal, guys. And then even after the massacre at the temple and all, you're telling me Luke Skywalker wouldn't try to rescue his own nephew from the clutches of evil? That he wouldn't try to fix his mistake? That he'd just shrug his shoulders and mooch off and hide while his nephew got to genocidin' just like gramps used to do?? Come on guys. You might as well retroactively kill Luke at the end of Return of the Jedi and have it over with.

 Why does Luke milk a beast. Why did this happen in front of my eyes.

 They don't spend nearly enough time on Rey's interactions with Luke, it makes her 'lessons' with him feel perfunctory, and their conflicts forced. Also, Rey never gets her third lesson that Luke promised, but rather than it feeling like she just left before she could finish (as with Luke on Dagobah), it feels more like they just forgot to tie that off. As I understand, there's a whole deleted scene/sequence involving the third lesson, so it wasn't deliberately omitted, they just didn't bother to cover the editing mistake. Fuck y'all. You kept the bullshit Canto Bight animal-race, but this...

 Rey's mirror-vision thing was super boring because it was so predictable. Why did it go for so long anyway.

 I never want to see Kylo Ren's nipples again. I can't believe they shamelessly subjected the audience to this obvious bait. He's a genocidal maniac, guys. He's a mass murderer. You cannot make fetch happen with him, and it's disgusting that you're trying.

 Related: I normally barely notice/care about costuming, but there were several faux pas in this film and I was irritated. Kylo Ren's pants were one. Rey's outfits being sleeveless but thick on the shoulders was two, it made it look like she was cold and uncomfortable and walking around with her shoulders up around her ears the whole time and it made ME really uncomfortable to look at her. Three is the older women's outfits, Leia's but especially Holdo's: they're Resistance leaders, why do they look like some idiot costumer prioritised them looking like classy older women over them wearing functional practical outfits? Holdo's dress is great, objectively speaking, but in context she looks several degrees overdressed. Did she not have time to ditch the formal gown when she got called in for emergency Resistance-ing? I have seen it suggested that the outfit is supposed to be part of the whole Poe-not-trusting-her-to-know-what-she's-doing thing, and if that is indeed what they intended, it's triple stupid.

 Kylo Ren's sob story is not really a sob story. Yeah, even if your uncle was standing over your bed holding a lightsabre, that's a rough deal but it doesn't entitle you to SLAUGHTER YOUR FELLOW STUDENTS AND RUN OFF TO JOIN THE NEO-NAZIS. What the actual fuck. Why did we spend so much time on trying to pretend Kylo is sympathetic. I mean, he was also supposed to already be being seduced into evil, that's what Luke saw that made him wanna kill 'im up, so. If they wanted us to sympathise with Kylo, maybe they should AT LEAST have focused on what it was that Snoke was using to seduce him in the first place, explain what gave him the in (as deeply, wildly flawed as the prequel trilogy was, it at least did a thorough job of exploring the how-did-it-come-to-this for Anakin). I mean - same as with Anakin - explaining why someone decides that genocide and dictatorships are the way to go does not make it acceptable, and Kylo Ren would still be a whiny little dickhead in need of a nice beheading, but if they explained his susceptibility to Snoke's logic that would at least be character building. Pretending the whole training temple massacre was 1. Luke's fault, and 2. a sympathetic backstory is pretty grotesque. Great way to make it seem like a certain writer-director thinks that the neo-Nazi sith is actually an ok dude, though...

 On which note: Kylo's 'justification' for killing his own father is also, uh, not justification. Just vague-ing about 'destroying the past' does not an explanation make; maybe if we had some of that aforementioned backstory on what made Kylo so susceptible to corruption, that could also have been used to make this bullshit excuse sound slightly less bullshit? As above, it'd still be bullshit anyway, but at least it wouldn't be faking being deep quite so hard. I'm a bit embarrassed by how stupid this was. The idea that any of Kylo's 'justifying' for any of his murderous actions is convincing to Rey is an insult to her intelligence as well as the audience's.

 Remember at the start of the movie, when Kylo smashes his wannabe-Vader mask? I frowned at it then, not realising how much I was gonna end up frowning about it later: Kylo Ren sucks and has always sucked, but in TFA we had this widely-applauded portrayal of the new Big Bad being an entitled white manbaby, and everyone was talking about how great that was as a reflection of modern society's issues, etc. Smashing his Vader-mask in the elevator was the closest moment this film had to acknowledging the tantrums Kylo threw in TFA, which were simultaneously hilarious and disturbing as they did indeed reflect that kind of childish yet violent acting-out you see with entitles young white men these days. Thing is, where Kylo of TFA chucked tantrums and idolised his former-Nazi grandfather and tried to make himself in gramps' image, this movie is subtly ditching those less-than-flattering details. Kylo smashes his Vader-mask, and while Snoke at various points goes on about his potential to be 'a new Vader', Kylo himself expresses no further desire to follow in Vader's footsteps. Smashing the mask has symbolically severed him from that aim, and thus, from one of the most prominent aspects of his neo-Nazi-modelled characterisation. It's almost like a certain writer-director wants to make the character more sympathetic by giving him a 'sad backstory' and distancing him from his neo-Nazi dreams...

 Speaking of ditching plot though, there are two incredibly egregious examples here: Snoke, and Rey's parents. As much as Snoke was a dud of a character who I definitely did not care about or enjoy, and as much as disposing of him is a surprise that opens up a lot of potential for new and different storytelling, the fact that he was apparently some colossal Big Bad who appeared out of nowhere with no explanation and then was treated like a big deal only to get killed off halfway through is...weak. It doesn't seem clever, it seems like they should have just not invented him in the first place if they weren't actually gonna do anything with him. We didn't have to waste time on this.

 The 'reveal' that Rey's parents were 'nothing' is even worse, tbh. They made such a big deal out of the identity of her parents, in this film and in TFA, and TFA is retroactively weakened as a film every time TLJ ditches one of the plot threads or characters that TFA introduced, because it renders swathes of the content of TFA pointless. Not content to just be full of pointlessness yourself, huh TLJ? Gotta fuck up your predecessor too so that you don't feel lonely? I have seen it argued that Rey not having some fancy pedigree and 'coming from nothing' like a normal person instead of doing the Secret Princess trope is a great move, and I agree with that in theory, but as presented in this film? Hell no. Sure, it woulda been a huge predictable cliché if she was secretly Luke's daughter or something, and the entire universe expected that sort of a reveal so there wouldn't have been much point pretending it was a secret, but this 'reveal' feels less like a cool twist-with-commentary and more like a certain writer-director going for cheap drama points by subverting expectation for no other reason than to be shocking. This feels more like laughing in the audience's face for the fact that they FOOLISHLY expected that a built-up mystery would actually deliver a surprise. Subverting audience expectation is only clever if you have an original twist; just going 'ha! You thought there was something there but there was nothing!' is not clever, it just means the writer-director wasn't smart enough to actually find something to do with the plot set-up he was handed after the previous film. Considering how much he fucked up the characterisation of literally everyone and filled this movie with meaninglessness and plot holes, maybe that's not surprising either...

 You know what would have been surprising? Kylo ACTUALLY SWITCHING SIDES. I was so ready for them to throw us a REAL curveball by having him actually turn, and have to spend the rest of this movie and however much of the next one trying to make amends and work through all the colossal awfulness that would bring up for everyone (before, ultimately, dying a nice redemptive-sacrificial death, because the genocidal maniac is NOT allowed to live happily ever after). That woulda taken some real guts though, right, and we're all about cheap meaningless thrills that don't ultimately change anything, here.

 Why were there so many Praetorian Guard guys. I swear Kylo and Rey fought all of them twice in the course of that battle. Who choreographed this editing nightmare?

 Remember, a thousand words ago, when I started off by criticising the idiotic battle plans of the Resistance? Same goes for this useless assault they launch against the First Order cannon on Crait. Lets run these rust-buckets straight at all their guns and things, even though we've only got thirteen of them and nothing to do but drive straight at our enemies guns! Visually exciting, but completely devoid of intelligent design. Using this second DUMBASS BATTLE PLAN WHICH INEXPLICABLY GOES WRONG as a trite-neat way to show how Poe 'learned this vital lesson about when to retreat to fight again another day' is kinda undercut by the fact that the Resistance is still sending people out to die stupidly in suicide runs, so...maybe they still haven't learned the real lesson here, the one about ACTUALLY PLANNING. You wouldn't have to worry so much about your 'dead heroes' if you made sensible strategic decisions in the first place. Pretty weird, that.

 Force-projection Luke was great, but this seems like it's supposed to be demonstrating some character arc for him when actually it's just repeating his whole passive-resistance thing from the original trilogy, just in a less significant way; as a projection, he's not actually endangered as he was with Vader, so it's less of a statement and more of an '...oh yeah I literally can't fight you anyway, peace out I'm dead now regardless'. Like most things in this film, it's only surface-level cool, as soon as you engage thought processes it becomes as empty as a Jedi cloak in the wind...

 Rey and Poe apparently meeting for the first time at the end of the movie was Hella jarring. They may not have met on-screen in TFA, but they were on the Resistance base at the same time, both personally attached to Finn, etc. We coulda just assumed they had met at some point before Rey left. This awkward meeting was awkward and also hung a big ol' lantern on the fact that our characters all got split off for completely different adventures in this movie instead of doing anything together, like, pretty much at all. Nice.

 Why does this film end so many times. At first I thought it was gonna end after the space battle, and then there was this whole extra action scene on Crait and I was like 'that's weird, why would you add an extra small action piece AFTER your big climactic space battle?', then I thought it was gonna end on a cliffhanger with Luke stepping up to confront the First Order alone (they had this shot from behind, showing the fire around him and the First Order arrayed out across the horizon, and the music was swelling and it would have been a PERFECT cut to credits, but then it cut to Poe's face instead and I was like 'whaaatt, momentum of final shot destroyed!'). Then I thought they were gonna end after everyone got away, but THEN there was that useless end scene of the kids back on Canto Bight being like, sooo filled with Resistance Feelings, and it was fucking dumb. Why would you include such a weak finisher when you had at least three solid final moments already? Honestly I think there were several other almost-ends in there that I'm forgetting now (like maybe also right before the fight on Crait started? I dunno). It was a mercy when they finally picked an ending, but it was the worst ending they had at their disposal.

 Am I finished purging now? Probably not. I'll probably think of a bunch of other things after I post this, plus I see a lot of dumb posts and articles defending various aspects of the film, some of which I can shrug off as differences of opinion, and some of which stick in my head for being nonsense to rival the film itself. For every whiny neckbeard out there complaining about diversity and 'woman heroes', there's a 'progressive' writer who defends the decisions in this movie for seemingly no other reason than because it makes the neckbeards upset, and that's just annoying. You can admit that the movie sucked without that meaning that the misogynists were right, the two options are mutually exclusive, and you lend credence to all the problematic crap this movie pulled if you refuse to admit its flaws. But whatever. It wasn't the worst film I ever saw. It was mostly irritating because of how much potential it had, if someone had just bothered to do a proper critical edit of the script and maybe think about telling cohesive stories with it and maintaining characterisation across the franchise, etc. Maybe the third film of the trilogy will fix some of the shit from this film, but the fact will remain, it shouldn't have to. Trying to patch up the holes made by the previous film should not be part of the third film's job; this movie shoulda just been solid to start with. A lot of what was bad about it is structurally unsound anyway, and a third film won't change that. This movie was a dud. A stupid, largely pointless dud. Delete this.

[takaraphoenix]

“I’m afraid to love you. I’m afraid that you’ll leave and that I’ll go back to being alone again. Only it will be a hundred times worse because I’ll know what I’m missing.” Quote from a book that had Archer in title so I had to... So, dear drunk Phoe, show us what you can do. Ship: Balec.

“Phoe, write something when you’re drunk. And since that’s not hard enough, lemme give you a deep, looong quote that your drunk brain will struggle with. Also a shiny new ship you never wrote before because this wasn’t hard enough.”

Do you want to see me fail? *whines and cracks knuckles*

Bat frowned confused as he stared at his…

Ah. Right. Yeah, that was where the problem started.

What exactly was Alec even? Aside from unfairly tall and unfairly handsome. But what was Alec even to him?

The two of them had met at a bookstore the other day. Bat had bumped into the tall man, which in itself was already ridiculous considering that Alec was way too tall to be overlooked. But Bat had. He had been distracted by a dog.

Which.

In itself, really embarrassing. But ever since he became a werewolf, he had been more easily distracted by dogs? Like, he tried to challenge them? It was so stupid and embarrassing, really. Also, he kept expecting to be able to understand them. Sadly, so far that part of being part-canine had not kicked in. Regardless of what Luke and Maia said, he remained helpful though.

So the handsome tower had come down hard after Bat had crashed into him. Bat had profoundly apologized and helped tall, dark and handsome to gather his books up. Just to realize that the other had weird reading taste. All that magic stuff and weird stuff that looked unreal.

What had really caught Bat’s attention however had been the weird Z on the other man’s neck (well, Bat had spent a lot of time staring intensely at the tempting neck). It was definitely one of the weird symbol’s on Simon’s girlfriend. So Bat, having exactly zero tact, he blurted out that the other was a Shadowhunter.

Alec had clasped a hand over Bat’s mouth and glared in a way that made Bat feel kinda aroused and intimidated at the same time (really weird and confusing combination… Bat had started calling it the Alec Effect).

Alec had continued glaring at him as he dragged Bat into a corner of the bookstore and chided him. Alec outed himself as Alexander Lightwood, head of the Institute, and he scolded Bat for being so bad with keeping this on the down-low. Bat told Alec about being a werewolf from Luke’s pack and in the end, Bat managed to use the puppy-dog eyes to convince Alec to get a coffee, because Bat really wanted to talk to a non-werewolf and non-Simon about the Downworld.

The non-Simon part had gotten him the semi-date.

Surprisingly enough, both of them had a lot of fun together, talked animatedly. Apparently, as Bat was about to learn later, it was not a thing for Alec to have someone to talk to who was not one of his siblings.

They exchanged numbers and met again. And again. And again.

Then they started also professionally interacting because Bat forced himself onto Luke and Simon whenever the two went to help the Institute.

Leader Alec was really ridiculously hot.

They went out again. As an official date. And again. And again.

Bat liked to think of Alec as his boyfriend, but apparently, Alec didn’t. Because what Alec had just said to Bat made absolutely no sense.

“I’m afraid to love you. I’m afraid that you’ll leave and that I’ll go back to being alone again. Only it will be a hundred times worse because I’ll know what I’m missing.”

“What does that even mean?”, asked Bat after a very long beat.

“It means-”, started Alec just to falter when Bat snorted.

“No, that was a rethoric question, Lightwood”, grunted Bat with a glare. “I know what it means. It means that you’re still not over your first love and your first date being together.”

Alec gritted his teeth. “This has nothing to do with Jace and Magnus.”

Bat raised both his eyebrows in disbelief at that. “Su-ure. You suddenly being afraid that I’m gonna leave has nothing to do with the guy you were in love with for years getting together with a warlock, who oh-so happened to flirt with you first just to give up because you weren’t out of the closet anymore and Magnus Bane only keeps a scary amount of clothes in his closets and no boyfriends.”

“It’s been a year since the two started dating. I came out half a year ago. It’s not about them”, growled Alec defensively.

Bat continued to look unimpressed. “I got the invitation to their New Year’s Party too, Alec. Their. They��re doing this as a couple. And now you-”

“It’s not about them! It’s about you! All you!”, exclaimed Alec, clearly frustrated. “Because I think I might love you, but I’m scared of that, okay? Jace got the bonus of being a Herondale and having the Inquisitor backing him up on his relationship with a male Downworlder, but me… I… C–Can I be the head of the Institute and be gay? Will being with you distract me too much to fulfill my duty…?”

“What?”, asked Bat confused, tilting his head.

“Not many months ago, I lost my parabatai. He died and I felt it”, whispered Alec lowly, averting his gaze to stare out of the window. “You got… hurt, during the last mission. And I said screw it to all protocol and when you laid there… all still… I…” Alec’s voice shook. “I remember the look on Magnus’ face when I told him that Jace died and it broke something inside of him, something that Jace is still working on repairing. I… I think that… that you make me feel that way. That losing you might break something inside of me that I will never be able to repair again.”

“Alec…”, started Bat softly, reaching out for his boyfriend - yes, definitely boyfriend.

“I don’t… I’m…”, started Alec once more. “I have never been this happy. You make me happy, Bat. Being with you, talking with you… When… When you sneak into the Institute and I fall asleep with my own oversized, fluffy pillow? I don’t even know if I can… if I can anymore, without you. It’s stupid, ridiculously stupid, but when you were in the infirmary because of the injury, my bed was so large and empty and uncomfortable that I worked through the entire night to distract me. And you and I, we haven’t been together that long yet. I don’t know if I am already truly in love with you, but I’m afraid of just how much it’s going to hurt when I actually get there.”

Bat sighed and grabbed Alec’s hand, interlacing their fingers. “Well, sucks for you because I am not going anywhere. You, I care about you so much. I like curling around you too and you give the best belly-rubs so that alone, totally a reason I can’t let you go like that.”

Alec didn’t react vocally, but he did stare at their joined hands.

Bat smiled weakly. “Don’t isolate yourself out of fear again, Alec. You don’t deserve that. You deserve the world. You do so much, you sacrifice so much for everyone. You deserve to be happy too. And if I can make you happy, then I want to. Please. Don’t deny this to either of us.”

Alec opened his mouth to protest, but Bat was using the puppy-eyes. “We… I mean… we could…”

A bright smile lit up Bat’s face as he leaned over the table to kiss Alec, earning him the most endearing blush possible. The two of them relaxed a little bit into it and finished their coffees to leave together.

“So”, started Bat teasingly. “In the end, it was about Magnus and Jace after all and their epic Downworlder-Shadowhunter romance. Pf. You know what, our epic Downworlder-Shadowhunter romance is totally going to out-romance theirs.”

“…Please spend more time with non-Simon people”, requested Alec fondly as he leaned down to kiss Bat’s temple.

[hyperbolicpurple]

Dear Alternate Songs writer,

letter under the cut

Some things I’m into:

angst and/or conflict (a little or a lot) with a happy, resolved, or ambiguously hopeful/open ending

hurt/comfort

grief/mourning, and the moving on from it, ~grieving together~

five times/things format (with any number)

relationship tropes (fake relationship, undercover as a couple, forced to share a bed, trapped together, forced to work together, marriage of convenience, etc; these are all my catnip)

epistolary? maybe? if you want to

I’m not really into and don’t want to see:

canon or previous love interests made out to be villains (except Sansa’s obviously)

lots of focus on smut or any particular kink scenario/act unless I request it (some smut is fine)

pure 100% curtainfic fluff

unremitting tragedy with 0 hope at the end

the first exchange of “I love yous” as romantic climax (I really enjoy reading about love being expressed in other ways)

soulmates or any other whiff of romantic destiny/fate

background ships I did not request

death of any character I’ve requested

Jon as a dirty talker. plz. this is not at all for me.

Asha Greyjoy/Jon Snow (ASOIAF) Medium: Fanfiction

General: Asha seems like Jon’s type, a bit similar to Ygritte, and I think she would have fun with him. Asha is pretty in tune with her desires, while Jon is pretty inhibited–that might be a nice dynamic to play with. For this ship I would be fine with something more smut-/kink-focused if you’re into that (I’m thinking femdom--maybe something from my Smut Swap letter?).

Amusement Park Something older/run down/backwater/boondocks preferred to Disneyworld or Six Flags. IDK, there’s just something fun about this environment. Asha as a woman who works there, Jon’s family visiting for the summer, or maybe he’s the new employee she trains (or “trains”)? Or I really liked The Way, Way Back (except for the outstandingly sexist bits) so something similar in feel would be cool.

Post-Apocalypse I can only imagine how awesome Asha would be in a crisis. Maybe a post-apocalyptic road trip? Or I love reading about how people survive, build communities, make to on a day-to-day basis after the apocalypse. Post-apocalyptic curtainfic, you might say.

Steampunk Maybe Asha as captain of an airship. An outlaw maybe--airship pirate? Maybe Jon as law enforcement, or disgraced former law enforcement looking for a purpose. Or maybe Jon is on some kind of mission (whatever it is) and needs her services (or stows away). Or any other scenario you can think of!

Summer Camp I could definitely see counselor Asha/camper Jon, or both of them as counselors.

Wild West Asha as outlaw, Jon as law enforcement? (Or disgraced former law enforcement, looking for a purpose?)

Always a Different Gender Way into girlJon (Joanna? Jonquil? Jo for short?). Just way, way into it. I’d prefer Asha not be flipped. I’m interested in what Jo(n) might have done rather than go to the Wall (married off, perhaps, or a late fostering? - my assumption is that Cat would still push Jo(n) out). Perhaps somehow Jo(n) ends up as Asha’s salt wife?

Lyanna Stark Lived I imagine she would have to go into hiding. Perhaps she was secretly spirited away to hang out with the Mormonts? Or maybe Essos? Whatever you can imagine here would be fine. I’d just love for Jon to have some kind of relationship with his mother. How he meets Asha is up to you!

Jon Snow/Sansa Stark (GOT) Medium: Fanfiction

General: Season 6 made me really interested in this ship. I like the way they both have their moments of cynicism and disillusionment but also inspire each other toward action and hope. For non-canon settings, I have a strong preference for both characters to be adults and have had previous relationship experience (their canon love interests being mentioned as part of their pasts is A-OK). I’m into trust issues if you like that, or if they’re 100% ride-or-die for each other that’s fine too. Wherever you want to put this on the incest spectrum is fine with me.

Cyberpunk Space Opera Steampunk

One of the things I'd really like to see (in general) is a "remix" or adaptation of the canon, or just of particular canon events (whatever’s interesting to you), in different settings like these. Obviously I'm not asking for the whole thing! Just a glimpse or two, maybe, or however much you feel inspired to write. How similar to the canon it is, or how much it diverges because of the setting, is totally up to you. Feel free to have that all be background and write something "post-canon" (or post-remixed canon, I guess) set in this world. I’d just really love to read anything in Space Westeros, Steampunk Westeros, or Cyberpunk Westeros.

Amusement Park Something older/run down/backwater/boondocks preferred to Disneyworld or Six Flags. IDK, there’s just something fun about this environment. Jon as the guy who works there, Sansa’s family visiting for the summer? Or I really liked The Way, Way Back (except for the outstandingly sexist bits) so something similar in feel would be cool.

Graduate School Get your nerd on if you like! I’d love to read about what you think each character would be interested in/suited for and what they get out of it. For example, Sansa as a student of literature or history would be interesting given how she interacts with songs and legends in canon.

Single Parent(s) Meet when their kids have a conflict? Or at a school event?

Summer Camp Prefer them as counselors if that works for you. Butting heads over how to solve a problem/conflict, maybe?

Female Preference Primogeniture It makes sense because it’s much harder to doubt someone’s matrilineal parentage, isn’t it? Well, obviously, if this was a real tradition in Westeros going back many generations, everyone would be in all different places and the ruling families would look very different ... Feel free to completely ignore all that and just pop us into the present day with no explanation! LOL. Anyway, I’d be very interested to see how Sansa’s story would be different if she was the official heir to Winterfell - maybe Robb went south to marry future queen Myrcella instead, leaving her in the North? Or she might go south to be one of Myrcella’s ladies for a bit and find a husband? Perhaps the revelation of Jon as Lyanna’s kid threatens her position? Or take it in any other direction you would like.

Role Reversal I’ve read a few stories where Sansa is the bastard and Jon the trueborn, and I just. can’t. get. enough. It really complicates Sansa’s relationship with her femininity as well as her relationship with Arya, so I’d love to see those things explored if you’re into it. (I can imagine Septa Mordane being all “even your baseborn sister can do it better,” which would suck so much for the both of them.) It’s harder with Jon, because so much of his identity is wrapped up in being a bastard--maybe a second son/younger twin, the “spare,” trying to prove himself? (Feel free to change up their hair/eye colors a bit to make this AU work.)

Always a Different Gender Way into girlJon (Joanna? Jonquil? Jo for short?). Just way, way into it. You can flip Sansa too, if you want, or not; either is fine. I’d be terribly interested in hearing about how this might change (or not change) their dynamic as children and what Jo(n) might have done rather than go to the Wall (married off, perhaps, or a late fostering? - my assumption is that Cat would still push Jo(n) out).

Lyanna Stark Lived I imagine she would have to go into hiding. Perhaps she was secretly spirited away to hang out with the Mormonts? Or maybe Essos? Whatever you can imagine here would be fine. I’d just love for Jon to have some kind of relationship with his mother. How he meets Sansa is up to you!

Theon Greyjoy/Jon Snow (ASOIAF) Medium: Fanfiction

General: My first strong feelings for this ship came after reading cleromancy’s Dog Days and Summer Snows, which really highlighted for me how they have what’s really the same problem (how much they don’t belong/how much people ignore them), but go about dealing with it in different ways (Jon caring so much and trying to prove himself but also melting into the shadows, Theon electing not to care about anything and taking up as much attention as possible). & the triangle they make with Robb (as rival friends/brothers), I like that too. Strong preference for pre-Ramsay Theon whether in canon or modern AU. A “frienemies with benefits” kind of situation would make a good dynamic, too.

Amusement Park Something older/run down/backwater/boondocks preferred to Disneyworld or Six Flags. IDK, there’s just something fun about this environment. Jon as the guy who works there, Theon visiting for the summer (with his family or the Starks)? Or I really liked The Way, Way Back (except for the outstandingly sexist bits) so something similar in feel would be cool.

Dotcom/Startup I can only imagine what wildly different work ethics, approaches, and visions they have, lol. Workplace drama? FORCED to work together/collaborate? :DDD

Library Maybe Jon as the librarian, with Theon always staying late and alternately trying to annoy Jon/get his attention.

Summer Camp Again, a really awesome way to highlight their differences. Would be happy with them as campers or counselors for this one. (I do love picturing Theon as a camp counselor, lol. He totally sneaks alcohol into camp. Best/shittiest camp counselor ever, y/y?)

Tattoo Parlor Kinda thinking of Jon as the tattoo artist, and Theon keeps coming in for more tattoos and insists on Jon? Again, that “annoying Jon but at the same time trying to get his attention” dynamic would be aces.

Character(s) Took the Black Thinking of Theon here, maybe taking up Rodrik’s offer? I can only imagine Jon’s contempt and the conflict that would ensue. (Theon baiting Jon about sticking to the Wall while Robb was crowned/died would be A+.)