#also now i want to know if horses actually can masturbate

[zzencat]

Their Sexual Tendencies + Traits? (NSFW) - Timeless ⏳

Simply choose from left to right.

(Minors DNI) Nice and simple. What would happen if you got involved? Their tendencies in bed? Intimate behavior? Maybe it’s the one you’ve been ignoring. How about the one you’re with? A future partner? What goes on in their head at night when you’re all they can think about? And if more unfolds? Very TMI. Includes sexual, graphic descriptions and toxic traits.

Must do before you choose: Clear your mind. Time is now patient and still. Close your eyes, inhale deeply, fill your chest up to the fullest, feel the soft air brush up against the ridges of your nose. Breathe out. You may now begin.

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Pile 1. “I was a bad girl. I did some bad things.” - Jojo Siwa (lmfaooo)

•right of the bat, “karma” from Jojo siwa played

•I get brat vibes from this pile…are you a brat? lmfao cuz your person’s gonna like that for sure

•or maybe you try to hard to be a brat or appear/act like one? Your person loves it regardless

•this person loves dominating, but they can get just as enthusiastic as a sub. The instant switch and role change is actually pretty impressive, since they do it effortlessly

• I get the vibe they do or will do most of the topping work tho. They can have their lazy days, sure, but they like moving

•dare I say this person is the kinkiest out of the three piles

•^^ we’re talking bondage, role play, slapping(? Damn), everything and all over the above—receiving or giving, they can do it all. Fast raw sex and quickies are hot to them esp

• if you’re poly, this person is okay with that. If you’re not, they’re also okay. they just wanna have sex, end of story 🧌

• is down to literally do it anywhere and everywhere

• if this relationship started off as some kind of fwb or anything with benefits, I wouldn’t be surprised

• if you guys are both in a committed relationship, make sure you try to match their energy in bringing new things to the bedroom

• these people are shower masturbators—the sex drive is actually crazy like- slow your horse for just a second damn

•^^ they don’t even have time to masturbate if you’re with each other all the time. I got the image of a couple going on a trip and they’re in a hotel…yk what comes next. If you live together, cue some jungkook music. There’s no makin it out

• if you’re not together due to long distance stuff, a lot of cam/phone sex. It happens so much that you think they’re jobless (and they could be tbh. Tell em to get a job!!!)

• this person gives me the vibe that they’re not really in an occupation that demands much. It feels like a very lax, low demand and energy job OR they’re a model for something and they make money through content like that

• this person is reallllly good looking tho. It’s how they can get away with a lot of things

• their maturity level is kinda questionable I wont lie…I think you need to teach them some boundaries

• they could take a while to see their faults? Maybe they don’t wanna see or they’re too oooh la la in the sky

• can come off as quite careless. Can even be clingy

• also very prone to peer pressure or self-sabotaging behavior

•avoids conflict like the plague

• open to all body types as long as your face is cute. I think they likely prefer people who don’t look like they’re freaks in the sheets ykwim? The duality is prob what gets em going. But then again, I think anything gets them going. This person is a true horndog of nature

• (I, personally, as Teddy, the reader, feel like I should include why they’re like this—craving physical intimacy so much, but there’s this brushing off/dismissive energy like “forget it they don’t need to know- let’s just have fun and shiii”)

•^^ (if I rephrase what I wanted to include, it might be better. They prob grew up with a lot of siblings/other kids, and not enough love to go around, so they were overlooked, OR no-to-low amount of siblings but not enough physical and emotional intimacy and connection from parents/guardians, so they looked towards external sources.)

• doesn’t have too many expectations tbh (idk if that’s a bad or a good thing, but the root of it is that they don’t wanna pressure people to stay with them or force people into commitment)

• ^^if they fall in love with you and yall date, and you leave one day, it’ll hurt so much that they’ll revert back to the thinking of why commitment didn’t always work for them

•childhood couldn’t show them what true commitment was so if you actually express that you want to be with them exclusively, they’ll be so shocked, to say the least. Like “me? Why me? I’m not anything special, lmfao” . They’re laughing it off and will feel nervous so they’ll cover it up by drinking smth (water or anything), but they’re so used to the sentiment of being “nothing special” that they’re numb to it

• ^^ but if they end up falling in love with you (beware of their nonstop horse sex drive), they’ll be a lot more reserved and laid back than before

• they’ll prob be lazier tho ngl. They’ll take days off work just to have sex with you all day

• they make up for this uselessness feeling through sexual activities

• they think like “why touch yourself alone when I’m right here?”

• when they do masturbate tho, they think about you and your body shifting back and forth against the bed. They’re pretty quick tho when it comes to masturbation—I’m guessing bc of impatience and not being able to hold back. They only last long when it comes to sex with a partner

• the body worship is real nice

• most of the sexual activities have one thing in common though, and that’s the closeness of both of your skins. This person kisses your skin so much during sex, and really anytime, feel you up whenever they can. The touchiness is all the time and it’s sweet, but it can always lead to something else

• in this pile, lies a very rare breed. a handful, and really not a lot, will encounter the rare breed partner that also has this high of a sex drive, is confident, has a regular day job, prob tall and slim, is responsible and committed only to you, and will be on board 100% if you ever want to engage in exhibitionist/voyeur activities—extreme (like streaming your intimate moments or camming together)

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Pile 2. *Growling noises.*

• the thing is…you’re just existing 😭

• you don’t do much to piss this person off (most of the time). Some light jokes and messing around here and there but you’re pretty much chillin. (ESPECIALLY when you’re not dating, this bullet point and the previous be the vibe.)

• this person wants you like a predator wants prey, basically. It feels weird to say it ngl, but it’s a very obviously fire energy? Like Leo smth…or a very capable and sadistic Scorpio? They have this dark and mysterious look. Very intimidating, but you prob don’t give this person your time of day—either you don’t care, think it’s weird, or maybe you’re just playing a little hard to get

•^^whatever this person thinks you’re doing, purposely or not, they find it intriguing and you have to be theirs

• this person tho? pile 1 has nothing on this person. My bad, not person—beast.

• very dominant person and very much shows it if you’re exclusively dating each other or in a higher relationship

• they could use some work on their control issues tho. IMPORTANT!!!: this person would NEVER put their hands on you to hurt you out of anger or violent means. No abuse in their household, no, no. (In bed, it’s different but only if you consent)

•^^ regarding the control issues, make sure they’re not obsessed with you bc you’re hard to control. At your highest energy, this pile has a very independent, do-what-I-want energy. You don’t give two shits abt what others think- you dress, look, and act the way you want. You stand up to them when no one has the balls to do it

• very much BDSM. It could get a little tiring—not the person!! The person has hella games and tricks up their sleeve when it comes to bdsm and freaky shit. Tiring in the sense that it just stays in the BDSM realm like dude…break out of it cmon. It’s time to experiment with different menus, not recipes.

• commander type. also choking. this person likes choking. Choking you AND being choked, but they wouldn’t bring up the latter if you never mention it.

• has a LOT of self control…until they don’t. But I think this person loses it very easily bc of their partner—like you needa be punished asap type feel.

• getting off is normal for them, but when they have a partner, most of the time they save it until sex. but if not and you’re not around, they’re gonna go at it, thinking how you should be there, imagining how good you look with your mouth on their parts while you look up at them, praising you about how good you’re doing.

• this person isn’t really simple with masturbation either. If they simply lay down and or sit on their bed and touch themselves, it wouldn’t be as satisfying so they have to go again, preferably touching themselves in a different place—depends on what mood they’re in, they’ll choose a risky, likely-to-get-caught kinda place or a place outside their room, but private.

• wow, verrrry possessive person. Marking you up 😫 In the morning, if you need to go somewhere, they’ll be like “Don’t try to cover it up.”

• This person could be some sort of player? Regardless of who they are, they just have a lot of pent up energy they need to get out of. They def have experience

•honestly, pile 2, this person can get really damn intense. If you can’t handle their heat, it’s okay to get outta the kitchen cuz they’re the ones turning it up and have also broken the ac 😭 the sex is crazy good, but it will take this person a bit of time to actually fall in love with you. Cuz you’re so different from everyone they’ve seen so they’re unsure…weirded out…interested.

• if you somehow get in bed with this person, you’re in for a ride (literally.) after this experience, this person will deadass replay it everywhere, every day, all the time. It becomes an obsession with them (which may or may not be a good thing for you.)

• this person is going to be in your life for a whiiiiile. You might even roll your eyes and be like “whyyy”

• this is the most obvious enemies to lovers trope pile, but it starts smth like that OR you just get annoyed that everyone wants this person and to you, they’re just hot and nothing much.

• it gets wilder— this person WILL try to make you jealous. Shamelessly. (Ick)

• they’d like to receive some mouth-work from you if ya get my vibe. (Which is unfair bc they’re kinda selfish when it comes to receiving pleasure.) if they give it, they give it THEIR way

• ^ you have to put them in their place and show them you’re not someone to be fucked with. The worst thing you could do is leave their life entirely. Even pissing you off gives them something.

• if you’re sick of their shit, they might even let you have a chance of taking it out on them and having your way for once (BUT just so you know, if you do, they’ll take it as you surrendering to them. Like you finally have a weakness or manipulation point.)

• HOWEVER, this person, although very fucking stubborn, is willing to make any and all changes for you. IT WILL TAKE TIME. And only if you’re in love with each other. Maybe they were trying to find someone that was worth their time and more than just looks.

• I will say tho, if you get into an actual committed relationship with this person, the upbringing of this relationship looks pretty toxic. Like the crazy need for control and the unwarranted possessiveness (on their side), especially at points when you’re not dating each other. If you don’t set their shit straight, you’ll fall into the trap and could get a broken heart out of it

• ^^ on the bright side, this encounter/relationship with them will bring you so much personal growth. If you make it out of this relationship in one piece, you’re actually indestructible. And if they’re really willing to change—I suggest noting down their BIG, grandiose sacrifices for you that puts them at some risk—then there’s also a big chance you could have a harmonious and balanced connection

• ^^ why? Bc they know that you’re not superficial and you have substance to you, and they want that. Be wary tho, this person isn’t stupid and knows what strings to pull

• this person could have a tan tint to their skin or brown hair

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Pile 3. “Please let me in...”

• this pile’s energy seems a little closed off. not from your person but from you. I’m feeling indifference, constant wariness, but regardless, there’s always a wall

• you’re prob an introvert and has gotten hurt in the past really, REALLY badly, so you’ve been closing your heart off. There’s a piece of you that still wants to find love, hence your presence here, but you act like you don’t or you don’t show that you are interested in wanting it.

• if you’re an extrovert, however? You may not be TOO keen on sharing things about your life. Open to it, sure…but still somewhat selective

• you would sacrifice everything for the person you love, not that you would willingly admit this verbally. If you have, good for you!! You’re the muse baby

• your person is more likely an extrovert and has tried or IS planning to try to get closer to you/get to know you more. They KNOW you are more than what you show on the surface. They’re the only ones who can see the gems behind the rockiness you show

• they’re a virgin or inexperienced

•^^ I don’t think most of the people who chose this pile mind too much, honestly. There’s a bit of a corruption kink rearing its head in here…not super apparent but it be lurkin in da shadows

• oh they’re a switch hahaha. You can just push em on the bed and they’ll let you do whatever you want to them. They’re not complaining at all tho—just lock in on your target and DESTROYYYY 😈😈

• almost a puppy like energy to them—ALMOST. Almost. Bc they have leader vibes but a nice leader. Maybe not respectable by all…but most. Like one who seeks the best for the team but bc they’re not “alpha” or aggressive enough, it can be tough to get people to take things seriously. But eventually people do. Maybe even out of pity.

• I get the feeling this person had to be very in tune with their parents’/guardians’ feelings (I’m getting anxiety or just freaking out over messes and stuff) — maybe they’ve also grown with grandparents? Or have had the presence of their grandparents be very significant in their lives?

•^ bc of this they will most likely be vanilla in bed. I don’t even think they’ll lust after you for a while man I mean, outta respect yk? And also bc it doesn’t feel right to them. It’s not the first thing or one of the first things that come into their mind when they think about you

• ^^ you basically have to tell them what to do, what they can and cannot do too. They’ve had to be so involved in taking care of everybody with an undying kindness to them that they don’t really know where boundaries begin. They’d never wanna break your boundaries

• ok this does not mean that your person is a nice white male, btw!! I keep seeing a salesman, wearing a baby blue button up and khakis, brown hair…this person seems so average? — this could mean that they’re doing everything they can to make others happy and totally not paying attention to their own. I’m not sure if you’ll ever see this person cry in public, but if you make them cry in bed? Hey, go for it muahahah

• it will prob take a while to get them to be comfortable with thinking about you sexually. If they have to relieve themselves, they try to channel this energy into workouts or something physical that gets their mind off of you in that way. Inevitably, the idea of you in bed will pop up, but they’ll shake it off. It’s not even holding back—they just don’t wanna “disrespect” you and see you as an object (but like I said, if you want them to treat you like one in bed or smth, you have to let them know and say it with a lot of conviction. This person is very mentally bullheaded so it’s hard to break into them like that)

•I think they let a lot of things happen bc they’re that empathetic, or they just don’t have the energy for the chase. Like think little kid stealing from a shop, they’ll prob be like “hey kid- ah…” *sighs and scratches back of head as they watch the kid run away with said items*

• if you’re not interested in this person or blatantly ignoring them, they’ll really try to get you (but in a nonstalker-ish way) which is good!! They just want your attention really. They’re pretty much awestruck by you, ESPECIALLY if you ever go to an event and they see you all cleaned up and dressed, they’ll check you out and zone out mid convo I swear. You actually render them speechless.

• (now…we get to some of the graphics.) This person is not a serial masturbator, I will say. Once a day, max. If you’ll allow them, they would do more. They could honestly go all day if you made them. If this person works in an office and you make them soooooo desperate, they would hide somewhere, perhaps an empty room and just start finding heaven. Very quickly too. Quickly and (trying to be) quiet. They’re pretty on top of things and responsible, but if you just tell em what to do, it will be done. They even clean after their mess too (if they do it in public? Cleaning up fast due to freaking out). Like “oh god, what have I done…” They’re super fucking clumsy too and don’t have too good of a recovery in public tho. For example, if they run into someone they know, RIGHT after coming out of the restroom? Red, hot face, sweat all over their neck. Stuttering and shit when they try to say hi to the said acquaintance. When they touch themselves, they don’t use toys (which is very sad. You gotta spice up their lives. They’re open to it. If you’re not the one with spice, they’re also okay with it. And if you’re both okay with vanilla sex every time, feel free!) This person just uses their hands, but LIES DOWN. They like to relax, face the ceiling, close their eyes, and think slow vanilla things…

•might be tmi, but when they touch themselves, it’s kind of inhibited…and not as fast as people do when they’re abt to cross the finish line, yk? Like either long edging sessions or never letting themselves climax sometimes, or rubbing/pressing very hard and still but not fast(?) when they cum…if you know what I mean? Idk if they’re doing it on purpose or if they’re not too experienced, or if they think they don’t deserve it? Scared maybe?

•no kidding, you could actually do anything to this person. cnc/dubious consent would be hot for them—though, they prob wouldn’t know what the kink is called lolll (you have to make sure tho. Establish boundaries and a safe word) bc they wanna be like “nooooo, don’t do that~~” while you’re all over them. BEFORE or IF you guys ever step into that stage tho, they’ll think about simple things if you do allow them to think about you sexually. Like you on top of them, slow grinding, soft touches, helping them out, mutual masturbation. there’s a little part that is innocent and doesn’t know how to step out of that or where to start when it comes to the more kinky stuff.

• it’s funny bc even tho this person has had a lot of experience outside, within a team or jobs, or clubs, etc., they’re so…malleable?? LMFAO 😂 crazy ass word to use but YES. you can throw them around like a damn doll and have them do this and that. A bit of hesitancy, but they know their main purpose in life is to serve :)

• but like I said, they’re a switch, so not only can they think abt you taking control (softdom energy), but if they think abt being on top, they think about slow, loving sex yk? Like slow grinding- oooh, yeah. that really gets them. They’re the type to milk themselves till the last drop too btw. Til. The. Last. Drop.

• also, most of the partners are not a loud moaner. They’re quiet, likely bc they’ve had to force themselves to be quiet in the household they’ve grown in. If your person is a loud moaner, they’ve grown unashamed of their sexual needs and have developed a healthy relationship with that aspect. If you’re with a person who’s like this and moans loud, congratulations!! They have become comfortable in their skin and you have made it so 🙂‍↕️👏👏 If they’re still quiet, def some insecurity bc of growing up with limiting beliefs or having to live with a lot of people in childhood. If you want them loud, you have to encourage it out of them. They’ll be pretty fuckin shy about it though. You realllly have to pull it out of them.

• bonus: if they’re loud, they’re a slut 😂😂 like a secret slut, yk? (this might be a bit darker so don’t read if you don’t want to—this really only applies to a small portion of people here—but chances are they get off…on being ashamed and self-degradation? A big example is being ashamed for engaging in sex/sexual activities? Like a masochist, “this is so dirty, I shouldn’t be doing this…” but proceeds to do it anyway bc they can’t help themselves?? And they likely degrade themselves while getting off. These people may secretly be content creators for this type of thing but appear angelic in real life OR they have potential to. Like them faceless whimper creators lmfaoo. Listen, hey…if you get with one of these people, you a winner winner chicken dinner

•there’s a big chance most people in this pile or the pile’s person feels ashamed or very guilty about the whole sex thing and masturbation; if you’re looking to improve your relationship with sex or relationship with this person, you have to help each other overcome this fear. It doesn’t matter who asserts themselves to the task. It requires the both of you at the end of the day. And boyyy is it gonna be hard- (…anxiety makes it hard for you to get aroused/stay aroused/reach orgasm tho 😮‍💨 the more you know…). No man, it’s gonna be so awkward—palms-sweatingly awkward. Breaking news, you might have to be the assertive one here. Your impatience could get the best of you and in that case, you’ll guide them. There are so many things that could go wrong in this situation of awkward pre-sex, but if this person has shown their worth to you and you actually trust them, a lot of it is salvageable by your own hand.

• however, if this situation goes south (and not the south we want…) then, this person will start to feel bad or insecure that they’ve hurt or done something wrong towards you, even though they’re a clumsy dummy who doesn’t intend to hurt people and tries hard to do everything right

• ^^ should you ever try to initiate it and try to sex em up again, you’d have to put a bit of work in to convince them, bc they were really open that one time and it was honestly…kinda the first time they’ve gotten so close to doing something THAT vulnerable and revealing. It would feel like they stripped and you didn’t like what you saw, and it was so apparent on your face that it broke them. That kind of vibe. A very sensitive person at heart.

• they get really anxious if something goes wrong. It’s probably a trait they picked up from parents/guardians being like that.

• they have SOOO much potential, seriously. But a lot of what-ifs on their mind so they’re playing it safe. Be confident, and maybe even borderline bossy, with them and gradually they’ll open out of their shell. This person is like hot liquid gold, waiting to be molded into your likings 😇

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**Teddy Note: Hi guys!! This is a super long post, but I hope you’ve gotten something out of it. My sexual tarot deck just came in and I’m pretty much obsessed with it already hahaha. Thank you for reading today’s post!! If you haven’t heard, I’d just opened up paid readings, and there is a sexual reading in there that is pretty much like this one, but more individualized towards you and pretty detailed (if you do decide to purchase, that is.) That’s all I gotta say. It’s been pretty intense doing these readings and the partners in these piles are all wildin in their own way 😅 Thank you again! Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t! Peace outtt :))

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

I’m so sorry for this guys but

AITA for telling someone their horse was masturbating?

Basically does what it says on the tin. For those of you who don’t know horses can masturbate. It’s most common in male horses under the age of three who have not had their testicles removed and who are confined to a stall or small pen and get really bored. They typically grow out of the behaviour once they’re older or given more freedom. Some owners try to train them to stop it from happening but most just ignore it because it’s better than other boredom behaviours like cribbing and wind-sucking (both are SFW to Google btw).

Anyway, I’m a groom and stable hand, mid-twenties now but been working at my job since I was fifteen (part-time then, now full-time). The stable I work at boards horses and gives lessons but also offers training for young horses, so we get a lot of OTTB here – that is “off-the-track Thoroughbreds”, so ex-racing horses that people typically buy cheap and then retrain to be show jumpers or dressage horses or whatever. One such horse is Bert, who is the horse in question in this situation.

Bert has excellent bloodlines but he sucked as a racing horse so he was sold OTT. The man who bought him, I’ll just call him John, knows nothing about horses – he’s a total beginner in every way, has never ridden and pays other people (including me) to take care of Bert, but claims to be an expert in everything equine because Bert cost him so much money (I don’t know the actual amount but he’s in the section of the stable where the $20,000 Warmbloods are boarded so I’m assuming around that amount which is a lot yes but also not the most expensive horse we’ve had here).

Anyway the actual story – I’m at work cleaning out stalls when John walks past, he completely ignores me as he always does so I do the same and get back to work. A few minutes later he goes sprinting back in the opposite direction which I thought was weird but whatever, I kept mucking, until I heard him shouting for help. I went out into the aisle and he’s there shouting at another groom and demanding to know the emergency vets number (it was a weekday morning btw, so he didn’t need the emergency vet, he just needed the regular vet but that’s meaningless anyway). I went over to see what was happening and he tells me his horse (Bert) is ‘acting weird’ and needs a vet immediately, so I offer to go see Bert for myself and then call the vet if necessary.

So basically yeah Bert was masturbating. Had an erection, was rocking about rubbing it on his tummy, and did NOT want anyone going in his stall or touching him. John points at Bert and says something like “see, he’s sick!” and then tells me Bert tried to attack him when he entered the stall and I just, I dunno, I cough and say that Bert is fine and just wants some privacy right now, figuring that the obvious erection might be a giveaway as to what’s happening? But John turned to me and blurts out word for word “are you an actual retard” and then starts cursing at me and telling me I know nothing and Bert needs a vet etc and so on. I kind of blanked on everything else he said after he called me a retard to be honest because WTF? I don’t really know what went on in my brain in the next few seconds but I ended up shouting – yes, shouting, extremely loudly, it fucking echoed in the stable – “he doesn’t need a vet because HE’S JUST MASTURBATING” in John’s face and then walking back to the stall I’d been mucking.

As I got back to the stall I heard laughter from a couple of aisles over. Apparently my co-workers and some riders who were there had all heard me shout and found it hilarious, and that made me laugh too because it was so freaking ridiculous. I honestly kind of forgot the entire encounter afterwards because we had a horse who actually needed a vet a little while later and yeah, John and Bert just slipped my mind.

I didn’t remember until that afternoon when my boss came to see me and said he’d had a complaint from John who wanted me fired. I did not get fired but I did get ‘warned’ (just a formality, my boss didn’t actually punish me but wanted me to act like I had been if John questioned me later, which he never did). John complained that I’d treated him like an idiot, spoken down to him, and “acted above my position” (those were the exact words he used) causing people to laugh at him. I explained the entire situation to my boss, who also laughed, and that was that, nothing else ever came of it aside from my co-workers telling the story of me shouting HE’S MASTURBATING so loudly it scared a pony into jumping so suddenly that it farted to everyone they possibly could.

Since then John has ignored me even more than before which I honestly consider a blessing, and I would leave this situation thinking I’m NTA except that one of my co-workers brought their boyfriend to the stable recently and when they introduced us the boyfriend said something like ‘oh right, you’re the asshole who talks down to people who don’t know everything about horses’ and yeah. My co-worker was blindsided by that as well and we basically both said you don’t have to know everything about horses to know what an erection means, but since then I’ve been wondering if I am TA in this situation? Like, clearly there were better ways to tell John what his horse was doing, but he called me a retard and also I get paid to take care of horses not to teach the birds and the bees to fifty year olds so I don’t know. I’ll let Tumblr decide.

So, AITA for telling John his horse was masturbating?

Additional info: I'm on a rota with other stable hands so I sometimes groom Bert, muck his stall, attend to his vet/farrier appointments, give him worming paste, etc and so on. I am not his trainer and have no input into when he gets to leave his stall. I've mentioned to my boss a couple of times that he boredom stims and should be in a paddock with other young horses, but John refuses to agree to that for reasons I don't know. My boss has since spoken to Bert's trainer who is now trying to convince John to let Bert have more time outdoors.

What are these acronyms?

[tremendum]

Mr. Miller's Show

[not my gif]   pairing: joel miller x fem!reader (afab, some use of she/her, use of the words girl/woman)     rating: explicit. (18+. mdni.) word count: 7.3k  (back to regularly scheduled programming) requested: yes thank you all for all the patience srsly <3 summary: “'like how sweet you've been t'me, sugar," he mutters gently, head tilting, "why y'gonna go and fuck all that up now?'" warnings: gendered words (girl, woman, etc) allusions to PTSD, porn with feelings, guys theyre like getting healthier, SMUT (PiV unprotected), oral (M receiving), deepthroating, rough sex, face-fucking, shower smut, counter smut, reader is a tease, masturbation (f), marijuana use as always lol, brief voyeurism, canon-typical violence, age gap (undefined but mentioned), ass play (spitting, fingering, only a bit sorryyyy), mirror sex again bc im a whore, reader has hair long enough to grab, hair pulling, lots of choking, spit kink, light slapping (f receiving, consensual), dirty talk, praise kink but also degradation, use of words like slut, brat tamer!joel, overstimulation, MEAN!JOEL YALL, but he has feelings so he’s also kinda soft!dom in this again, once again sooo unedited that it hurts.  notes: finally finally after over a month im back!! hope you enjoy this chapter, ive been having rough writers block with this story so any suggestions and requests are very welcomed!!! thanks for all the love and as always, comments & reblogs w tags are motivation and help out so much!!! love u all <3 also for the taglist, it's too big now and i may consider stopping my taglist, just letting everyone know!!! ill lyk if i do ofc but im reblogging with the list this time.

[this is part six of the Mr Miller series. read previous part sympathy for the devil.  main masterlist here. ]

★  

"you're wearing earrings." 

Joel's voice cuts through the serene chill in the air, shocking you enough to have your head turning away from where you stare ahead - you crane your neck too much, but you can just see the dusted gray and dark of his curls behind you as your brows raise. 

it takes you a second to understand the sentence he's just uttered to you out of nowhere- but you blink to life, clearing your throat as the dead trees pass you by. 

"oh. yeah, it's... they're new. didn't really wear stuff like that until..." you shrug, trailing off as you stare forward yet again. your heart thumps as his chest rumbles against your back - jesus, he's so close to you. it's been weeks since he's been this close, even if this is just work.

your body wants what it wants, you suppose.

your lips purse, lost in the press of his thick body behind you.

"-till?" 

your lip twitches in a smile for a split moment; he's waiting for you to finish your sentence. as if he cares.

Joel... 

he's been so normal recently. or as normal as you could ever imagine Joel Miller to be; full sentence-conversations full of questions, full sentences, and even an occasional joke or dry line littered in with his glares and eye-rolls. he's even taught you and ellie to woodwork, nodded in hello when you picked up Ellie on your way into town - hell, he'd actually gotten a drink with you after patrol a few days ago and held eye contact for a whole thirty minutes.

a fucking miracle.

and even, on rare occasions, you are rewarded with that mind-splitting, earth-shattering smile - a very rare but rewarding sight. the kind that shocks a room, silences you and Ellie both, lights the sun and makes the birds sing. makes your stomach flutter.

so perhaps things have changed. 

it makes you almost laugh to yourself, recalling that day so many moons ago when you had walked into the Bison and first stared into those stony eyes; how big his calloused hands were, the way his lip lifted in distaste at your crass words. 

the sway of the horse makes your hips move gently; your ass is starting to feel sore at the constant motion and as you rock forward with the decline of the hill, you feel Joel's body slide slightly as though he tries against everything to press fully against you. even though you wish he would. 

heat paints your face as you feel his breath on your neck, waiting patiently for you to finish your sentence.

your sharp breath exhales as you realize you've hesitated at his questioning, a bit too long - you smile sheepishly, shrugging. "-sorry, didn't..." you clear your throat, "couldn't remember the last time I wore earrings. not that it matters, but I just..." you thumb the makeshift earring back, grinning to the mane of the horse as he trudges you and Joel both along. 

"-it feels nice. makes me feel like myself." you finish, shrugging awkwardly. 

for all of the steps Joel has taken in the last few weeks to change, there are some things you still have a hard time with.

talking about yourselves and opening up is a very large, unmovable hurdle that you and him are still clearly trying to pull yourselves over. it's quiet for a second as your words seep into the dead surroundings, less than an hour from town. 

"look nice." he grunts quietly, his arms pressing slightly from where he straddles the saddle behind your frame. 

your eyes widen at the seemingly random compliment, face flooding with flattery and embarrassment. your grin betrays you, but you don't dare stutter out a broken thank you for fear that you will sound like a croaking frog; instead, you purse your lips over the giddy grin that spreads over your cheeks and hope that as he stares at the profile of your face, he can see the flattery written across your features. 

"Ellie has a matching pair." you say instead, sparing a quick glance back at Joel. his brows raise, jaw ticking as he takes in the information - your voices both echo at the same time as you speak over each other suddenly: 

"she doesn't have her ears pierced."  "in case she ever gets them pierced." 

you let out a short huff of laughter, nodding sheepishly at having accidentally interrupted each other; Joel shakes his head with a ghost of a smile. 

"got it." he nods, "s'real nice of you." he nods, "making a pair for her, too." 

his chest is right on you - broad, warm through all the layers, and smelling of pine, whiskey, sage. amber. it's intoxicating as his drawl rumbles in the back of your ear - you silently thank Tommy or whoever the hell it was who ordered half the horses to rest after a bout of sickness spread through the stable; sharing a horse has never once before today seemed like a good idea. 

but the good idea sours quickly when you kick speed slightly, the horse leaping over a small creek as your hips shift back into Joel's and your ass presses into him. 

your mouth dries as you shakily exhale; he's so close to you - smells so good. your hands grip the reigns tighter and you nearly jump when a large, calloused hand falls onto your hips to steady you after the change in pace. 

your mind travels back to that morning after you'd stayed with Joel in his own bed - how gentle his hands had been as he'd guided you towards your own house under the early morning sunrise; your eyes bleary with sleep but his smile still cracking bashfully when you'd kissed his cheek, muttering about how maybe Ellie'd missed your boots by the front door when she'd come home. 

she and Joel certainly haven't said anything you if she did notice, anyways. 

you clear your throat, ignoring the searing desire that spirals from where his hand touches your clothed hip; you shrug, "she said she liked mine, so I figured we could match." 

he hums lowly at your word, his nose brushing slightly over the crown of your head. shivers roll over your shoulders as you swallow, retreating into the silence that you've lived in for the last few weeks since the two of you were put back on patrol. 

but you stiffen when a hand runs down your side, over the jagged stitching of your jacket, and you suck in a sharp inhale. his other hand slides forward, hooking gently around your hip, fingers splaying over the very top of your thigh and your throat dries up; a faint desire awakened and soon screaming at you. you squirm under his touch.

Joel's hips adjust behind you gently in the next second, your eyes fluttering shut as you imagine him pulling you into him, his hard cock sliding between the round globes of your ass and through your dripping folds, his hands greedy and hungry; his words sharp, teasing. his touch, sweet. intoxicating- 

your eyes open again and your heart skips a beat, his knees hitting the outside of your thighs. 

christ. your whole body tingles as you shift slightly, rotating your hips as the buck of the horse's cant tilts you further away from the heat of his broad chest. no, you can't stand his teasing - intentional or not, Joel is making you nearly melt in desire.

jesus.

you're barely pulling the horse to the side of the path when, with barely a crane of his neck,  Joel mutters, "the hell are y'doin?" 

you suddenly pull the reins and mutter woah, slipping yourself off of the horse and onto the hard ground with a burning face, your lungs screaming for air as Joel protests. 

"what-" he grunts as he pulls himself down from the stirrups, face etched with irritation and concern at your sudden evacuation, "is there an issue?" 

you can hear the irritation in his voice and you sigh, shaking your head - your heart's thundering, face hot and surely laced with poorly-hid embarrassment. god, what the fuck is wrong with you? there's barely forty minutes back to Jackson, why couldn't you just suck it up for a few more torturous minutes until you could return home to your trusty drawer and hot shower? 

"no." you snap, "no problem, Joel." your heart is thundering with surprise at his concern, eyes glaring daggers at him before shooting down towards the heat that nearly blisters on your forearm; his hand, warm and gentle, asking silently if you're okay. your eyes soften before you can school your expression - he reads you, as always, like his favorite novel. 

his hand falls away gently, grazing your finger tips like the gentlest breeze on your face and it still surprises you. 

"alright," he says softly, eyes searching your flustered appearance. "can we get back on the horse, then?" he asks - his voice is surprisingly patient, though his eyes are wary. irritated, but concerned. 

you clear your throat, unable to contain yourself much longer. "we could- take a break." 

his brows raise, tilting his head, "a break? we're nearly back. s'almost nightfall." 

you shift your weight, avoiding the way his corded arms cross over each other, his frame towering over yours as you dully throb in arousal. 

"you're-" you squeak, shaking your head, "you're fucking crowding me, and I need- fuck-" you groan, "just- just fuck off for a second, Joel." you snap, bursting in frustration, unsure how to just admit you are being driven fucking crazy with lust by his presence. 

his head tilts, "fuck off?" his eyes are darker every second you stand, facing each other- "the hell's gotten into you?" he sounds offended, and your heart flips as you feel bad - you're trying, you're trying so hard to be normal around him, as he is with you - so one touch, one innocent adjustment of his hips and now you're freaking out on him again?

you need to get a grip, or at least be honest. 

your face burns as his stern gaze rolls over each curve of your body; "Joel, you're driving me fucking crazy." you snap, glaring at him.

he looks shocked, hands flying out, "I barely said anythin' this whole goddamn day, how the hell am I still fucking this up?" he snaps back, irritated - his eyes incredulous as he stares down at you.

flames lick up your sides as you grind your teeth - his hair looks much more wavy with his curls today, and the green of his jacket it making the golden on his skin nearly glow; you nearly growl as you jump towards him. he's too much. too fucking much.

your hands lock on his shoulders, tugging yourself up towards his face as your lips fall against his. 

the kiss is a shock to you both. 

you're not sure what really compelled you to do it - the stubble over his sharp jaw, his hair, the way his thighs pressed against the outsides of yours just minutes ago, the way he pressed on about the earrings - whatever, it doesn't matter, because he's kissing you back and you're melting like butter over a campfire. 

his lips press hard back against yours through his shocked inhale, surging against you in a dizzying haze of Joel.

but the kiss is seared away from your lips when Joel suddenly shoots his thick hand out, rising to grip hard at your throat, shoving you backwards. 

it's more shocking than the sudden kiss - the speed in which he pulls back and pushes you hard backwards by his warm grip, causing flutters of arousal to course through your stomach.

you stumble in shock but he keeps his hold on you, passionate as he movers the two of you back. you're torn away from his warmth as he presses you with one hand on the small of your back and the other on the beating pulse of your throat - right against a tree, nudging you as he tilts his head down to your height once more. 

he's back on you in no less than a split second; his heat swirling around the cold air, teeth nipping at your lip when you take a moment longer than he'd like to open your lips to his tongue. he groans against you, a warm and deep thing that you feel in your own chest as your hand slides up to his hair, tugging at the base of his neck. 

the fingers around your throat flex and tighten in reaction to your own grip and the moan that rips from your throat sends his hips in a slow thrust against yours. 

you've been desperate for his touch for fucking days - he's been walking on eggshells even after you'd spent the night with him a few weeks ago. he'd barely touched you, taking his time trying to make up for all the lost time you'd spent trying to rip each other's heads off instead of your clothes.

and sure, you don't know who you are with him still - nothing defined, and a lot of things still unspoken - but for the first time since this whole mess started, that doesn't bother you. there's not much anger, nor jealousy - just... Joel. and you. 

it's not bad. 

his lips leave yours as he breathes against your lips, "like how sweet you've been t'me, sugar," he mutters gently, head tilting, "why y'gonna go and fuck all that up now?" 

his hand slips from your back lower, tugging you against his semi-hard cock as his fingers squeeze your ass. his hand lies just below your jugular, thumb soothing over your cold skin as his dark eyes glint with desire. you feel a rush of arousal pool between your legs as you raise your brows. 

"-you need to stop fucking touching me like that when we're riding, Miller." you growl against his lips, staring back at him. you lean slightly to catch his lips with yours once again but he pulls back with a strong hand against your neck to stop you - teasing.

he tuts, "you need to learn how to use your words, sweetheart." he growls against you, teeth catching on your bottom lip.

you whimper at the sharp sting, chasing him as if you could steal a kiss. he tilts his head just out of reach, his hand pressing against you until your breath comes out slightly ragged; your pussy flutters as he squeezes, knee sliding against your clothed core. 

"if you want it, ask for it, baby." he all but demands, hands rough against you, "can't just throw a fit every time you're aching for my cock, or else you'll be whinin' all goddamn day. how am I supposed to know-" 

but there's a snap of a twig somewhere behind you and you both spring apart, straight as boards, hackles raised.

it's almost like deja-vu as you're both thrown from your stupor - ripping away, your voices cease as your hand flies to your hunting knife - in your peripheral, you see that Joel's slung around his rifle so quick you're almost impressed as you both stare to your left. 

christ - just the fucking horse, tied to the tree. stepped on a twig. 

you let out a shaky breath, hand falling onto Joel's chest as you almost wheeze out a relieved laugh. but your hand feels it, suddenly - you notice how stiff Joel is, even after you've both realized there's no threats. 

his heart, thundering in his chest wildly. like a caged animal surrounded by a pack of wild, ravenous wolves; Joel's heart tries to scramble right out of his chest and onto the dead ground. 

that feeling - the one that creeps around at night when you wake up with memories of that cabin, of those raiders - of your past, visions of Joel, surrounded by red. that feeling that creeps up, squeezing at your throat and banging on your chest.

he's feeling it, too.

it's not from arousal, though you can see enough of that in his eyes, in the way his lips part and ragged breaths puff into the air - no, not arousal. 

fear. 

your heart hammers similarly, you suddenly notice. your hand shakes as it hovers near your knife; his hands grip the rifle so tight the blood may burst forth from the roughened skin any second. 

"hey," you whisper, suddenly worried to speak above any quiet noise. his eyes are sharp and his jaw clenched as he looks back at you, wild and alarmed. 

as if he were ready to fight for his life and yours. 

"let's go home," you whisper, thumb running over the shoulder of his jacket, muscles strained and still below the layers.

he snaps out of it, eyes falling to rake over you as if assuring that you're still in front of him in one piece. his hand finds yours on his chest, sliding it off - not unkindly; his hand squeezes yours before boosting you up onto the double saddle silently. 

Joel insists on walking you back to your house; he's brooding, as normal, as you both trudge back from turning in your patrol log and tracking the mud from the stable through the quiet streets.

you don't speak about what happened in the woods - the kiss, nor the twig snapping, but you ache and as you walk, every brush of the backs of your hands send shooting sparks up your arm.

"damn it," he grunts under his breath as you lead him up your driveway. you lift a brow at him, silent prompt to explain his expletive. 

he shakes his head, "s'nothin'. forgot Ellie said the water heater ain't workin', said she was stayin' with her friend Dina till I fix it. cold shower for me tonight." 

you grimace; the air nips at your cheeks, you can't imagine a cold shower in this weather. you shrug, "use mine." you suggest, tilting your head. "no point in turning into an icicle, Miller, you're cold enough as is." you tease, sending him a small wink.

something in you wonders if the shower really is broken, or if he just can't bring himself to ask; not that you can blame him. you can't bring yourself to ask, either.

your heart flutters when Joel rolls his eyes but still trudges after you, through the entrance of your home. his eyes look just as tired as you feel but there's a spark to them, one that coaxes more warmth between your thighs.

you see his eyes catch on the partially-smoked joint put out on the ashtray on your kitchen table as you slide past it; you have a mind to grab it before you make your way up the stairs, pretending not to feel too hot when you feel Joel's eyes graze over the sway of your hips. 

he showers first, you insist. 

while he does so, you strip out of your clothes and into a more comfortable sleeping shirt and shorts. you sit, smoking lazily on the joint, savoring the sharp herbal taste as it flows into your blood and trying to ignore the throbbing desire when the sound of the shower shuts off. 

Joel's respectful when he leaves your bathroom, pants on and shirt tugged over his chest, speckled with dots of moisture. his hair is much darker and more curled just after a shower; you're transfixed as you stand in front of him, joint smoldering between your lips, an exhale of smoke swirling lazily from your nostrils. 

"may I?" he asks suddenly, causing you to nod, pulling the joint out from your lips and noting how his own dark eyes follow it like a horse to a carrot; you smirk, tutting. "and to think, all this time you've been judging me for it?" you shake your head. "shame on you."

his jaw ticks and you just smirk, shaking your head as you hold the joint up to his lips boldly. "you're a bad influence on me, aren't you, Mr. Miller?" you ask, voice sultry as you peer up at him through your lashes. his eyes flick to yours as he inhales, your fingers ghosting over his plush lips. the ones you kissed not an hour earlier.

the air is thick in your room, steam from the hot water creeping through as Joel inhales the weed, ember lighting up your eyes in his. you leave the joint between his parted lips, opting to strip down as you walk towards the shower, hoping Joel had the mind to watch as you go. 

your heart thuds in arousal and excitement when you hear his sharp exhale, still refusing to turn around as you leave the door slightly open once again. you and your innocent habit of leaving the bathroom door open when you shower.  

you're relieved there's some fog over the glass door of the shower, but you take your time cleansing your hair, running soap over your face and then slowly, slowly lathering up your skin. 

you can feel him watch the entire time.

his eyes are like a hawk's; you can see his shadow through the light of the bathroom, the ember of your joint glowing occasionally as your hands run over the wet planes of your skin.

your shaky fingers cascade down, over the skin of your stomach, lower until they just barely graze where you ache. it's like he's been waiting for you to finally start to touch yourself; just as your fingers find your slit, the amber of the joint is tamped, ashed on the windowsill. 

you hum lowly as your fingers swirl through your velvet folds, so wet you're dripping onto your upper thighs as your head thumps against the wall.

"Joel," you let yourself whimper, eyes fluttering shut before opening again languidly. 

Joel's footsteps are gentle as he slowly strides up to you; he lasted, admittedly, longer than you through this torturous game. through the glass, you see his tall frame and your legs quiver with desire - your aching cunt throbs as you move your hand over yourself, rinsing off the rest of the suds from your clean body as your fingers tease your bundle of nerves. your hips jolt; a choked moan from you as you slide the glass open slightly, cocking your head - "it's a shame you already showered," you mutter, fingers not ceasing as Joel's eyes rake over your naked for ravenously. 

he leans on the doorframe to the bathroom, eyes stern as he takes in your silhouette through the fogged glass, slowly rolling over the curves of your body to meet your eyes with flames alit in his own. 

"-it'd be nice to have some help." you shrug, gesturing to the bar of soap in your spare hand, eyes swimming with desire as your other hand continues the slow, torturous movements on your aching clit.

your eyes catch on his crotch; through the jeans, his cock is hard and straining already as if being stirred by just the sight of you, naked and whimpering for him in your shower. 

"I know you've always liked a show, though, haven't you?" you tease, lifting a brow as you recall the night Joel'd first seen you shower.

his jaw ticks at your words but it's like something in his snaps; he wastes little time ripping his shirt off, his patience clearly gone as you bite your lip, stepping back for him as his jeans finally slide off. 

his glowing, naked form crowds into your own as he slides into the shower with you. his eyes are sharp as his hand takes the soap from you; yet instead of running it over your skin like you'd hoped he would, he's tossing it to the side until it hits the wall of the shower and splinters into two. 

you gasp slightly as his hand grips your neck, tugging you close. his cock is hard, tip glistening with beads of precum already as he presses to your lower stomach, his body glued to yours; his nose slides along the plane of your collarbone gently, the shower water pelting rolling off your meshed bodies like some sort of sick baptism. 

"you smell clean, darlin'," he mutters against your kin, one hand sliding up to your scalp, threading through your hair. his tongue peeks out to lick a stripe up your throat. "taste clean, too-" 

his hand tightens suddenly, tugging your hair until your head snaps up to him - his eyes are dark, face full of desire. "so why're you pretending you need my help?" 

the condescension in his voice is intoxicating - your legs weaken, hands sliding up onto his hot skin under the water that cascades over him. 

your throat dries as you swallow, eyes wide as a rush of arousal threatens to drip down onto your bare thighs.

his head tilts, "s'because you want to put on a show, 's that it?" he asks, voice condescendingly sweet as he once again tightens his grip. you whimper at the sweet feeling, nodding slightly.

he smiles against your neck before pulling away, "fine. you can give me a show. get on your knees." he hums, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. your head feels dizzy at the words he says and the sweetness of his kiss; the most delicious juxtaposition.

"a show." he chuckles to himself, shaking his head darkly. "gonna make you a goddamn star."  

christ. your cunt squeezes around nothing, aching for him as his hands slide down to your shoulders. you nearly moan as he smirks, water cascading down his broad chest as he pushes you down; you sink to your knees, your wide eyes on his own as you move until you're close to his aching cock. 

he stands, towering above you as the shower head sprays directly onto his back; water runs off the broad expanse of his chest and you follow the droplets as they smooth over his stomach, down over the sprinkling of hair that trails to the base of his dick. you swallow, heart thundering impatiently as you sit on your haunches, waiting anxiously for him to tell you what to do. 

his brows raise, though, flush high on his cheeks from heat - or arousal - as he hums, "well?" 

you blink at him in surprise as he shakes his head down at you, his own hand falling to pump his long cock in languid strokes, the skin so close to you that you can almost feel the heat. if you were to lean out, just a bit, to taste- 

"christ, darlin' do I gotta tell you how to do everything?" he grunts, other hand cupping the back of your head, carding through your wet strands of hair as he tuts, "you were practically beggin' f'me earlier, now you're suddenly shy?" 

your face blooms in heat, "no, sir, I just-" at your words, his eyes fall back and a groan echoes through your bathroom, "-just suck my cock, darlin' c'mon." 

his impatience, desperation sends shivers down your spine and your mouth opens eagerly, tongue flattening as he slaps your tongue gently once, twice- 

you're always surprised by the size of Joel - each time, it catches you off guard; the head of his cock breaches your lips and his pre-cum smears over your tongue; the taste of him has you keening forward, eager to feel him in you, filling you up. 

"there you go, 's much better." he grunts, muttering as one hand slides around to hold your jaw. your eyes flutter up through your lashes and the falling shower water to stare at him, how big he is towering above you. his cock pushes into your warm mouth and you try your best to breathe through your nose, tongue sliding up the vein which reaches up towards his tip. his groan spurs you on and you gently start to bob your head, spit gathering at the sides of your mouth slowly as your knees press against the wet porcelain.

"you feel better like this, baby?" he mutters, your stomach tingling at his words. you can't nod - can't even make a noise as his hips slowly buck into you; you gag slightly and moan around his cock as it pushes to the back of your throat. 

"fuck-" he grunts, one hand leaning forward to place against the wet shower tiles; he's crowding you, now, pressing you into the back of the shower as his body takes the brunt of the water and takes and takes from you. 

anything Joel wants, he can fucking have it. 

"that's it, sweetheart-" he grunts, "fuckin'- take me." 

his hands grip yours, pulling them onto his thighs, muttering gently that if it's too much, you can slap his thigh; you nod, tears gathering at the corner of your eyes as you keen towards him again, hungry to feel him in your throat again. 

your nails dig crescents into the meat of his thighs as he pushes your head right against the wall, fucking into your throat as his head tilts back. "tha's- right, look at you." he grunts, his lips parted as groans fall from his lip. the steam rises like tendrils from hell as you take Joel's length in your mouth, barely able to breathe in the most delicious way as he uses you. your spit trails over your chin and onto your bare chest as you stare up at him. one hand soothes over your forehead, wiping wet strands of hair plastered to your forehead, "you're a fuckin' star, baby." 

you heat at his words, stomach swirling as you shift uncomfortably, cunt puffy and aching for relief. 

your fingers grip onto him as he takes you in the shower, fucking your throat until you're dripping and aching and a writhing mess, his moans echoing around the empty home. 

"water's cold." he grunts, pulling his cock from your lips; you, weakly, chase the heat of him as he leaves your mouth, gasping for air and coughing slightly. 

he shuts off the water, suddenly, and you swallow as he turns back to you, eyes significantly softer than they'd just been; "somethin' wrong?" he teases, a dark smirk on his face as his eyes flicker to where your thighs press together to soothe the ache. 

you grit your teeth, shaking your head, "jus' want you to touch me, sir." you mutter, face burning at the way Joel never ceases to reduce you to a whimpering mess. 

he smiles one of those brilliant, radiant smiles. 

"that's all you had to say, darlin'." he shrugs, "told you, if you just learn to ask for it nicely, I'll give it to you." 

you shiver as you nod, taking his hand as he pulls you up off your sore knees, wrapping a towel around your form gently. he's so- commanding, yet still somehow keeping his kindness that often hides deep beneath his layers. 

you can't tear your eyes away, though - even as Joel starts to walk towards your open bedroom - your hand stops him on his naked shoulder. "will you please fuck me?" you ask, voice stronger than you'd expected it to be.

his eyes flicker with something as he tilts his head, "right here?" he lifts a brow as his hand snaked over your neck to pull you flush against him once again. "y'gonna beg me to fuck you against the sink because you're too desperate for my cock to walk to the bed?" he whispers it into the shell of your ear; a shiver as you whine, eyes blinking up at him, "been waiting all day, Joel, stop fucking teasing me." 

you notice your mistake too late; his jaw tenses as he bites down at the junction of your neck - you let out a sharp, whining moan as his teeth mark a love bite bright and center on your skin. "fuck- fuck, s-sorry, sir." you groan, eyes clenching shut in pleasure as his hands push you into the counter. 

"bet you're fuckin' sorry." he mutters lowly as he pulls away from you, flipping you quick to bend you over the vanity of the sink. you gasp as the cool wet porcelain hits your breasts, your nipples hard and sensitive as a sharp smack lands on your ass. 

"christ," he groans as you bend over, puffy lips soaked and glistening for him, "look at this pretty pussy." 

you move your hips slightly and his hands grip onto your waist - "quit that." he snaps, hands resuming their exploring. he grazes over the backs of your thighs, up the expanse of your spine. 

over your ass, groping and slapping, relishing in your small moans and sharp gasps. "don't move." he orders.

you sigh, head falling onto the sink as you nearly whimper - you're aching, throbbing as Joel teases you - "Joel," you whimper quietly, voice whiny and small. 

"what's wrong, y'tired of being teased?" he asks, voice dripping with sadistic pleasure. your cheeks are hot as you groan, "please, need to feel you inside of me-" 

he hums, smacking the flesh of your ass, "'f I don't warm you up you'll be sore, baby-" he tuts, "y'know I gotta get you ready." 

"I don't care, I can take it- I like it, just-" you stutter, face heated as you nearly scream in frustration, unable to voice how badly you just want him inside of you. 

he likes that - a thumb sliding over your cunt to spread your lips, exposing your pussy and ass to him as he hums. "too fuckin' eager, have to have my cock right now, 's that right?" he shakes his head with a dark smirk, hand teasing over your swollen lips as he nods, "yeah, s'alright, I'll give it to you whenever you ask." 

"thank you," you wheeze, letting out a shaky sigh when Joel leans down, spitting directly onto your asshole, thumb sliding over the tight ring as he hums, "so desperate for me, couldn't even wait 'till we get back to town, could you? had to try an' fuck me right there in the woods." he doesn't wait for you to respond as he spits down again, this time the slick spit sliding down onto your seeping cunt. his hand leaves, replacing with the thick, teasing head of his cock.

you gasp, rising on your toes as the blunt tip of his dick spreads your cunt, teasing your clit before notching at your entrance. "gonna fill up every hole tonight, baby, y'gonna let me?" 

you let out a whine, "fuck, yes, please." you nod, cunt fluttering around the tip of his cock. 

the stretch is painful; you expected it, craved it - you let out an animalistic moan when he slides in a few inches. "oh-" you whimper, legs tensing as Joel kneads the flesh of your ass, pressing his bare chest to your spine as he mouths along the base of your neck, "relax, baby, so fuckin' tight-" he groans as he slides in slowly, "let me in, sweetheart, c'mon-" 

a rush of arousal and he's fully seated within you, the sting of his cock in you subsiding as a growing desire mounts until you can't take it. "move- m-move, now, please." you rush, hips pushing back against Joel's impatiently. 

"shit," Joel hisses as he pulls out of you slightly - a long, thick drag against your velvety cunt and you groan at the sweet bliss of being filled up. you moan as he thrusts forward, tip hitting the perfect spot that already, as his pace builds, has a simmering coil deep within you. 

"thought- thought about it all day," you admit, hands finding purchase on the counter as he starts to fuck into you, your tits sliding as they press against the sink. "on the horse, thought abo-" you moan sharply as his thumb grazes over your asshole, spreading the slick and his spit around the tight ring. "fuck, sir- that feels good." you moan. he groans in response and the words fly from your lips - "you drive me crazy, so big, t-touching me all the time. dream about you filling me up- s-stuffing me full, even out in the woods-" 

your words are too much for Joel, apparently, because his hand slaps over your mouth and his voice whispers, "sh-shut the fuck up, darlin', y'needa be quiet or I'm gonna finish before this even starts." he grunts, hips snapping into yours as he picks up the pace. 

you whimper at his words, arousal gushing from you and coating his cock in your slick; the wet slapping of your bodies echoing through the bathroom. "fuck-" he drags out the word, fingers sliding over your lips to prod at your mouth, "here- suck, darlin' - there you go, good girl, that's right." 

your tongue slides over his fingers, eyes fluttering closed as you feel his thumb breach your tight hole; a sudden rush of pleasure runs through you as it hits you - Joel's everywhere. he's filling you completely - his thumb slowly fucks your tight ring of muscle as his cock spears your cunt; his fingers, pressing down on your tongue as you whimper and moan around him. 

a groan leaves his full lips; "fuck- look at me." he grunts, hand sliding up your throat to pull your jaw towards your reflection. "look at me, baby-" his fingers slide back into your mouth as your eyes meet the fire in his through the mirror. 

"always tell me when you feel like this, 'kay?" he asks, brows stern as he rams his hips into you; his thumb fills you and fucks into you at a slower speed than his cock, sending searing pleasure through your entire body.

your flesh moves at the impact of his hips and you cry out as his cock hits the delicious spot inside you that curls your toes. his thumb slips from your ass and you whimper dejectedly; the full feeling subsiding slightly as his hand grips your tits, pinching your nipple as he hums in your ear.  "don't want my pretty little slut feeling so needy all the time, right?" he mutters, nosing at your hair as he fucks into you with no abandon. your fingers clench to the sides of the sink as you let out a strangled, "yes, sir-" 

"so if you use your words, I'll give you anything you want." he groans, hand smacking your ass as the other squeezes your jaw. you nod, agreeing with his words though his cock has rendered you nearly speechless. he hums in approval before muttering, "now you're goign to play with your clit until you cum." 

you let your eyes roll back at the commanding tone as your hand snakes down to rub tight, blisteringly pleasurable circles over your bundle of nerves.

but it's immediately too much so soon; you're already so close to your orgasm that a jagged gasp falls from your lips, jumping at the feeling.

"no, 's too much," you moan, head falling back as your finger teases your clit, flames of pleasure licking up isnide you.

but Joel smirks, "why're you still doin' it, then?" he teases, cock hitting so deep and bruising that you think you may see stars. 

you moan out, "w-wanna cum, wanna make you happy, Joel." you whimper, completely forgetting to call him sir; but you feel his brows furrow as a moan ripples from his lips - "y'makin' me real happy right now, darlin', look at you. fucked out on this old man's cock, doin' whatever I say, desperate and willing. you're perfect, aren't you?" 

you shiver in pleasure at his praise, fingers shaking as you rub your clit, trying so hard not to ruin your orgasm by cumming too soon. his cock spears into you at a pace that will certainly bruise your hips; your breath is punched out of you, your gasps and moans painting the air.

"say it, baby." he orders, hand stroking your breast a staunch contradiction to his brutal pace. "tell me how perfect you are for me." 

you wail, head falling back onto his broad, thick shoulder as he runs his mouth over your shoulder, nipping as he goes. you're out of breath - "p-perfect, I'm perfect for you Joel, fuck, don't stop. so good, so good-" you mumble, fucked out after only a few minutes. 

he hums, nodding into you. "taught you well, didn't I? you're my perfect little star." 

you nod, "yes, sir, thank you-" you squeal in pleasure as he strokes long and slow, pushing you nearly to the brink as your legs shake. you can't take it, though - your fingers stop their ministrations, shaking and burning as you pull away from your clit, so close from just his cock and-

a slap to your cheek as Joel's lips bite into your jaw, "put your fuckin' hand back right now. you don't stop 'till I tell you to." 

you swallow shakily, shaking your head, "I can't- it's too much, I can't-" 

"fine." he snaps, slapping your cheek again before one hand slips to grip hard at your shoulder, lifting one of your legs up onto the sink; his other hand snakes down to pinch your tortured clit and you scream as he grunts in your ear, "I'll do it myself."

he's unforgiving on your quivering cunt, barely able to stay upright as he pushes you down, your cheeks pressing to the cool counter as he pounds down into you, shooting you into a hurtling race towards your orgasm. 

he brutally fucks into you in a blinding pace. you nearly scream as white-hot pleasure rips through you, your hands falling to the counter as he coaxes a mind-bending orgasm from you. you see white as you cum, pulsing and writhing over his cock as it spears into you, splitting you open. 

"that's it, baby-" he lets out a loud moan, biting into your neck as he continues the brutal pace, "jesus- s'fucking tight, baby, can barely move-" his hands fall to your hips, using you as a fuck toy to finish himself off; you're still writhing with the ecstasy of the orgasm, relishing in the way his hands hold you. 

"where're you gonna take me, baby?" he grunts, voice strained: he's so close. 

you scramble, holding his hips as you nearly pass out - pleasure too much. "cum on my ass, please sir." you mutter, heat licking up your throat as the words come out. 

he moans and pulls out of you suddenly, hand flying from your skin to his cock, a slick noise as he quickly tugs himself until hot spurts of his cum paint the skin of your ass. "pretty girl," he grunts to himself, "an' you're all mine." 

you hum, moaning quietly as his thumb soothes over your skin, spreading his cum over your ass and pressing it slightly against your ass. your cunt flutters in arousal at the action and he hums, "y'like that, don't you, pretty girl?" 

you nod as you let out a shaky sigh and he presses a kiss to your spine, "good." it's a whisper on your skin, a promise. 

he's barely grabbed a towel to wipe his cum off your skin before you're turned around on jelly legs - his strong arms pull you in so fast you barely have a second to straighten out - he's nuzzling into your wet hair in a way that has your heart thumping and your throat dry.

his heart beats against your cheek, body warm, chest heaving along with yours.  

heat, affection - they swirl in your chest as his bare body cradles yours. intimately. 

your sweet skin is sticky with sweat when Joel comes to, out of the bliss of his and your orgasms. 

he's just as sweaty as you, though the clean skin and foggy mirror have started to clear up. Joel nearly huffs a short laugh at the thought of taking yet another shower - christ knows the two of you are once again filthy - but he kind of likes it, in a way. a secret. 

he brushes it off when he feels your fingers curl around his arm; he had barely noticed that he'd tugged you upright and right into his chest, holding you as tight as he could. for some reason, his mind reaches back to earlier in the evening, when he'd heard that branch - the fear, the panic that'd risen in him. he's not sure why, or at least, he won't think about it. you hadn't mentioned it, but he'd seen your hands shake and your eyes cloud with fear.

something for another time, because he has you warm and pliant and naked in his arms. he barely noticed how his lips press at your hairline; it's just... well, feels natural.

like you both need it. 

"stay here, please." you ask meekly, quietly. the first words spoken in a minute; you're swallowing around the nerves and anxiety that crawl in your chest, he can tell. he feels them, too. 

he's taken aback as he stares at you - you both have patrol again in the morning, is it not... aren't you going to get tired of him?

won't you find him annoying, or gross in the morning when he inevitably pulls you closer in his sleep, when the dreams are too real and he shoots up in bed?

the panic subsides as he stares into your warm eyes, hopeful, bashful. he smiles gently, biting through the smile in embarrassment at how willing he is to stay. he'd stay forever if you asked.

Joel nods through his surprise, though, his body and heart and head aching to lie with you once again, to feel the calmest sleep he's had in years. 

"course, darlin', I'll..." he pulls you in closer, so he doesn't have to look at those damn eyes when he finally admits it -

"I'll stay as long as you want." 

feedback welcome as always :') <3

[mischiefandlies]

The answer to all your prayers

Loki x f!Reader

Masterlist

Notes: CRACK FIC!!! This was so much fun to write. Enjoy!

Warnings: Smutty with no actual smut. Mentions masturbating, but there's no real description. Also, Loki has a megapenis (we've all seen that gif, y'know what I'm talking about).

You were fresh out of college when you landed a job working as an apprentice technician for Stark industries. You were exceptional at physics and aerodynamics, so ended up working on the newest designs for an iron man suit Tony was working on. Due to your position, you had ended up becoming quite chummy with the avengers.

Pepper had recently been trying to set you up after hearing about your tragic love life. The truth of it was, you had been on a spree of first dates in college, but they had all been so disastrous you had sworn off dating until you were a little older and had enough time to actually go on dates properly. This, however, had left you a little inexperienced around… sex. You had been wanting to lose your V card for a while now, but knew that if anyone was going to take you to heaven and back, you wanted it to be someone you trusted. You weren’t up for playing hide the sausage with just anyone.

Enter Loki. A handsome devil (literally), hung like a horse (literally) with magic fingers (also literally). Loki may not have been worthy, but he certainly had a hammer and he knew how to swing it. He also had Ye Olde Viking charm, quick wit, and happened to be a fairly good friend of yours. The two of you had a habit of getting flirty, then backing off and letting nothing ever come of it. You'd been safely sat in the friendzone for quite a while.

Which was how you found yourself here- lying in your birthday suit, in your apartment in stark tower, dreaming about a certain tall dark and handsome norse god. You could imagine it all perfectly. How he’d slowly crawl over, kissing your lips, prising them open to invade your mouth with his tongue. He'd slowly work his way south, kissing your neck, collarbones, chest, then further south, until he reached your dripping-

DING DONG

Who the fuck is ringing your doorbell at this time of night? And why did it have to be just as you were mid wank?

DING DONG

You stumbled around in the dark, pulling your PJs back on, ready to give Tony a bollocking for knocking on your front door at twenty to midnight. You're hoping this will be a quick conversation so you get right back to the dirty fantasies about your coworker who had done nothing but make you More infatuated since you met him.

You open the door, and are met with…

“Loki!?”

He was looking incredibly dapper in that black suit, which you immediately dreamed about ripping to shreds in a state of feral horniness. If anyone could look like sex incarnate wrapped up in a gorgeous designer suit, it was him.

“Loki! What- er, what are you doing here?”

He smiles “I heard you.”

“What?”

He shakes his head slightly. “May I come in?”

“Yeah, sure. Sorry the place is a mess, I wasn’t expecting company, otherwise I would’ve made a-”

He cuts you off mid-sentence, pressing his lips to yours. You immediately kiss him back with all the fervour you can muster, until reality comes crashing down on you and you push him back. He keeps you close to him, refusing to let you out of his embrace even if he has stopped kissing you. When you finally get your breath back (you appeared to have been too busy sucking his tongue to breathe) you look him dead in the eye and ask

“What the fuck was that!?”

He smiles again. “I heard your prayer.”

“My… prayer?”

“Oh yes, angel,” he says. “You’ve been praying to me for weeks. It's like I'm in your thoughts all the time. It's been hard to concentrate in those dull meetings when all I can hear is your delicious fantasies in my head. And every night my darling- you really are obsessed, aren’t you?”

You are mortified. “Loki, I'm so sorry, I didn’t realise I was doing that. Really, I don’t know what I was thinking-”

“Shh love. There's no need to apologise. I find it all quite amusing. You are rather adventurous with your fantasies. But there’s one that you keep thinking about, isn’t there angel?” He waits for you to nod before continuing. “The one where I claim you. Where I am the first to have you. Where I make you mine.”

He pulls you tight against him, and bends down as if to kiss you. However, you are slightly distracted by the HUGE boner poking you in the thigh. You pull away slightly and glance down. There was a fucking great tent in Loki’s trousers. By Christ, how had you never noticed he was that big before? “Hold it Lokes. I don’t think mini mischief is gonna fit.”

He looks down at you, confused. “I beg your pardon?”

“Look, I’d love to be fucked into next Tuesday, but you’re putting the long in schlong, and I kinda need to be able to walk tomorrow.”

His eyebrows have risen to halfway up his forehead now. “Is it normal for humans to speak in riddles before intercourse?”

“All I’m saying is your bellend is going to end me. You can’t go cave diving if you don’t fit in the cave.”

He rolls his eyes, and covers your mouth with his hand. “Darling, I have no idea what your saying. Yes or no, do you want to have sex with me?”

“Well, yes, but-”

You can’t finish your sentence because Loki has thrown you over his shoulder (giving you a spectacular view of his arse) and marches the two of you to the bedroom, setting you gently on the bed.

“Now my dear, I believe as a benevolent god, I am obligated to make all your prayers come true.”

“Loki?”

“Yes love?”

“You didn’t see all my prayers, did you?”

He looks down at you with a wolfish grin.

You are so fucked (literally).

The gif from earlier btw:

[world0fmadness]

DIRTY ROSES

vegard “ ihsahn ” tveitan x reader

♡ nsfw alphabet for ihsahn!

୨୧ hope you like this anon! i’m currently working on like four other requests hehe <3

♡ requested by anon | related hc available here, here and here | view my metal masterlist here

reading music recommendations: simple pleasures by kid moxie - the burning shadows of silence by emperor

* 18 + content, please do not read if you’re a minor *

a = aftercare ( what they’re like after sex )

♡ ihsahn is the sweetest when it comes to aftercare! he’s pretty tired after sex but before sleeping, he’ll walk off to grab you some water, making sure you’re well hydrated and comfy!

୨୧ often times, you’ll cockwarm after sex! he’ll slip his cock back inside of you whilst in a big spoon position behind you, keeping his cum inside of you whilst stroking your stomach with his hand as you drift to sleep

b = body part ( their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s )

♡ ihsahn loves your hips! he thinks they’re perfect and when in the rocking horse position, he always holds them to guide your motion on top of him, setting your pace for you and guiding them

୨୧ he thinks his hands! he’s very proud of his guitar playing skills with his fingers and… other things he can do with his fingers

c = cum ( anything to do with cum, basically )

♡ ihsahn will almost never cum outside of you! he just sees it as a waste! even if you’re on birth control and not actually trying for a baby yet, he just doesn’t like cumming outside of you

୨୧ if any of his cum starts dripping out of you when he pulls his cock out, he’ll gently finger it back into your cunt as you whine

d = dirty secret ( pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs )

♡ not extremely dirty but definitely a secret, when ihsahn first realised he had a breeding kink, he was wondering about the small chance that he might be infertile and may not actually be able to get you pregnant himself

୨୧ that lead him to thinking about how he would let one of his band mates fuck you and get you pregnant for him as he watches… but luckily, he didn’t turn out to be infertile so he never told you about those thoughts he had

e = experience ( how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing? )

♡ i don’t think he was ever a player but i don’t think he’d be a virgin either!

୨୧ he’s still relatively new to some things in sex but he’s not a virgin, he knows the basics

f = favourite position ( this goes without saying )

♡ his favourite position is the rocking horse, very closely followed by the mating press position

୨୧ he thinks they’re the two best positions for his cum to reach the deepest spot inside of whilst also providing you with the most pleasure with his cock constantly hitting up against your g-spot

g = goofy ( are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc )

♡ he’s serious during sex, especially when you’re trying for a baby!

୨୧ why wouldn’t he take that seriously? he’s always too deep in pleasure to even think about being goofy anyways

h = hair ( how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? )

♡ his pubes are slightly curly and frizzy like the hair on his head but just a little lighter in colour!

୨୧ he keeps himself well groomed but doesn’t shave off all of his pubes, just enough to where they’re hygienic and not irritating for you

i = intimacy ( how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect )

♡ he’s pretty romantic in his own way!

୨୧ sometimes whilst fucking you, ihsahn will delve into romantic dirty talk about how much he wants to put his baby inside of you and how beautiful you’d look carrying his baby

j = jack off ( masturbation headcanon )

♡ before dating you, he’d masturbate whenever he wanted to but since getting with you and discovering his breeding kink, it’s another thing he just sees as a waste of cum that could be shooting inside of you instead

୨୧ so now, he doesn’t really ever masturbate! he sees no reason to now that he has you, he’d rather wait for you and unload his cum into you

k = kink ( one or more of their kinks )

♡ i expand on his kinks a lot in kinky business but i’ll put the simple kinks without the expansion here

୨୧ wax play, breeding and period sex

l = location ( favorite places to do the do )

♡ his favourite place to have sex is just in your shared bed! it’s where he’s the most comfortable and can do his favourite positions, taking his time fucking you and admiring your naked body

୨୧ another reason the bed is his favourite is because it leads to easy cockwarming after sex

m = motivation ( what turns them on, gets them going )

♡ when you’re ovulating, he’s all over you just as you are him! you get baby fever real bad when you’re ovulating and your sex drive is crazy high, you’re often begging him to put his baby inside of you and oh boy does that just make him want to pound you into the mattress

୨୧ seeing you interact with kids usually sets him off pretty bad too! but more in a soft way, it just really strengthens his want for a baby with you

n = no ( something they wouldn’t do, turn offs )

♡ i just can’t see him being into bondage!

୨୧ he just wouldn’t really like it, he likes feeling your hands on his body, your nails digging into his back, your hands holding his and your legs wrapping around his waist as he cums inside of you

o = oral ( preference in giving or receiving, skill )

♡ oral isn’t a huge thing for him because again, he’d much prefer his cum go inside of your cunt…

୨୧ but he’ll never say no to a quick blowjob before a concert or waking you up in the morning by eating your cunt

p = pace ( are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? )

♡ when he has you in the mating position, he’s fast and deep! thrusting into you so quickly yet reaching so deep inside of you due to the position

୨୧ when in the rocking horse position, it’s more slow but still just as deep! he’ll hold your hips down on him, keeping his cock deep inside of you whilst guiding you back and fourth as he praises you

q = quickie ( their opinions on quickies, how often )

♡ he only really likes quickies before an emperor concert!

୨୧ he’s super loud as he fucks into you whilst you sit atop a table in the private backstage room, having just shoved his pants down around his thighs and your panties down to your ankles

r = risk ( are they game to experiment? do they take risks? )

♡ when it comes to him, i can’t see him thinking about trying many risky things or experimenting much! the riskiest things he does is wax play and sex backstage

୨୧ but if you wanted to try something new or risky, he’d probably be open to it as long as it’s not something insanely gross!

s = stamina ( how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last? )

♡ ihsahn goes for long rounds rather than many rounds, it’s quality over quantity for him!

୨୧ his rounds could usually last two hours at most and you usually go for just two rounds

t = toys ( do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves? )

♡ i can see ihsahn maybe liking butt plugs on you! but other than that, i can’t imagine him using any other toys

୨୧ he just thinks they’re really pretty, loves the ones with shiny jewels

u = unfair ( how much they like to tease )

♡ he’s not a tease at all! he likes to get down to business as soon as he can

୨୧ the only teasing i can see him doing is taking his clothes off overly slowly whilst you’re already naked and waiting on the bed

v = volume ( how loud they are, what sounds they make )

♡ ihsahn is very loud during sex! he just can’t help it…

୨୧ he moans super loud and just starts word vomiting, spitting out curses and proclamations of how good you feel wrapped around his cock

w = wild card ( a random headcanon for the character )

♡ when ihsahn falls asleep after having sex with you and filling you with his cum, he has dreams about a cute domestic family life with you

୨୧ he’ll dream about what your future child will look like, what features they’ll inherit from you and how beautiful you’ll look nursing them

x = x-ray ( let’s see what’s going on under those clothes )

♡ i can see his cock being around 7.4 inches!

୨୧ it’s not super girthy but it more than makes up for that in length, he has no problem hitting your g-spot over and over again

y = yearning ( how high is their sex drive? )

♡ his sex drive is pretty average for someone his age! he’s a young guy so you guys probably have sex about twice a week, maybe more if he has emperor concerts because he loves quickies backstage

୨୧ but when you and him really start trying for a baby, his sex drive goes through the roof! he wants to have sex nearly three times a day, wanting nothing more than to constantly fill you with his cum

z = zzz ( how quickly they fall asleep afterwards )

♡ due to how long he lasts and how intimate sex is with him, he’s always pretty damn sleepy after sex and knocks out within a couple minutes, especially when cockwarming

୨୧ but he’ll always make sure you’re okay and hydrated after sex, littering kisses all over your cheek and neck as you drift to sleep!

[marxism-bidenism-mafaldism]

Not you encouraging rape culture and homophobia telling people that fucking their partner cause they want it even when you don't want to and you don't have to be attracted to your partner to fuck them. This is why we don't let fucking aro/ace into the lgbt community, y'all make us look like idiots.

I'm guessing this is referring to this post?

There's a difference between wanting to have sex and feeling sexual attraction.

"sexual attraction" is a catch-all term for Libido, Sexuality, and Attraction.

Libido is sex drive, Sexuality is how you express yourself through sex, and Attraction is who you find attractive.

Ace people are people who don't have "sexual attraction" in one way or another, and it exists in a spectrum of how much and in which ways.

Some ace people could have low Libido and Sexuality, but still find certain people attractive

Some people could be high Libido, but low Attraction and Sexuality.

Ace people are diverse and it doesn't make you any less Ace if you enjoy things like Masturbation.

It's completely possible for someone to be Ace, but still be partnered and have high Libido (think of Queer-Platonic relationships)

I think you misunderstood the message of the post:

Ace people are often ridiculed and not taken seriously. They are constantly pressured, and asked to prove that they are a Real Ace. Many a-spec people feel pressured to be on the extreme no-sex part of the spectrum and aren't allowed to show any level of non-ace-ness. Being like this is really stressful and makes you go crazy because you don't fit anywhere.

The post is about how the term "AroAce" isn't something you need to earn. AroAce is a way to communicate how you feel about yourself, and you are allowed to be complicated and imperfect and fluid and confusing. I think that sentiment isn't popular enough in queer spaces, but specially in a-spec ones.

Ok now the way you worded this is disgusting

Sex, human relationships, and human wants are complicated. You can want to do sexual activities even if you don't feel sexual attraction (libido, sexuality, attraction).

It is NOT "rape" to have consensual sex. Ace people aren't children, they can make their own decisions, they can know what they want. Please stop devaluing serious terms on BS rhetoric.

I am not saying you should force someone to have sex with you. I am saying that, AS AN ACE PERSON, the ACE PERSON is allowed to be complicated, and are allowed to have sex (with consent.. obviously...??) without being questioned on if they are Actually Ace.

Also, making broad assumptions of a group of people who are loosely connected, is literally the definition of bigotry...? Just because I personally think this, doesn't mean AroAce people are all like me?

And actually hold your horses. LGBTQ isn't an exclusive club only Real Queers get to enter. LGBTQ is a way to identify people who struggle with cis-hetero-normativity. AroAce people are queer because they don't fit into a hetero-normative view (most aren't monogamous, or want sex, most are polyamorous in some way, and they inherently aren't Hetero)

Also where the fuck did Homophobia come into this???????

[ithisatanytime]

bladee - Gatekeeper (prod. Whitearmor+F1LTHY) #WODG

anyone scandalized by my mixing this kind of talk with talk of god has never read the bible are they did and are just very stupid, thats pretty common as well. god invented fucking, i know you probably dont want to hear that but he invented it, because he loves us and in the context of one man and one woman its a beautiful wonderful thing. there are lines in the bible that would flip your damn wig literally a line about israel lusting after horse dicks whos cum is like horse cum, the line itself is a metaphor for israels unfaithfulness to god but its not written any less explicitly than what i just wrote, there are a million lines like that and its important to bring it up not just to excuse my own salty language but because for instance people might say the story of onan was a really convoluted euphemism to condemn masturbation but thats just a flat out lie, god isnt going to hide such an important commandment in a story about a man using the pull out method to deny his brothers widows children  in one story and in the next be like israelites love horse cock and horse cum. jews are demonizing men and there sexuality, most importantly they are denying that men have real needs that woman frankly dont possess and its the duty of the wife to take care of those needs the bible says it explicitly, in that context what is “marital rape” its baloney is what it is and you kind of knew that already didnt you? you cant rape your fucking wife thats retarded, and even if you could being raped by someone whos already fucking you regularly is in a different universe from a black man with a knife raping you in an alley isnt it? lyin ass bitches yes it is. also the oft quoted phrase “rape is about power not sex”  where does that even come from? i looked it up its just something some dumb ass feminist slut said once with zero evidence, had she said its about power too i would be like fine sex can be argued to be about power in general sure i guess whatever you like, but rape is about sex in the same way mugging is about money, you could argue that mugging and theft is about power not money and there is just as much evidence to that point, but why push this absolutely retarded idea? because it denies once again that men have biological needs that can only be fulfilled by a wife. the incel situation is the same thing, most men are not getting pussy right now, most young men, over fifty percent, and they get shamed to hell and back for it claiming that well if they were just nicer or whatever, its the denial of mens real actual needs, the denial of any duty whatsoever on the behalf of women etc. i turn down advances IRL at least twice a month, im literally a volcel i guess, i dont know how that works am i still an incel if i turn down oportunitties for sex because they arent the opportunity i need? or am i a volcel? i tell you what im not, and thats living with my fucking wife, and neither are most men, and the idea is its liberated women, but these sluts are miserable too.

[sukirichi]

total opposites

You and Toge swap bodies after encountering a fairytale curse, and similar to its origin, it also takes a fairytale method to break it.

REQUEST. body swap au + best friends to lovers

CONTENT/WARNINGS. slight crack fic, some cursing, implications of nsfw but nothing explicit, just Toge being a not-so closet pervert, usual best friend bickering, reader is fem bodied, unedited story (I should stop saying this, everyone knows I don’t edit my stuff)

NOTES. I enjoyed writing this, tysm for the request anon, this was really cute! definitely this is shooting up in one of my fav works ever (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

You stretched your arms overhead, feeling great after sleeping in. It wasn’t common of you to sleep this late, but you and Toge had gone stargazing the night before. A smile made its way to your face as you reminisced him reciting rice ball ingredients, signing that he was telling poetry to ‘match the mood’ until you’d both fallen asleep on the soft blanket atop a hill.

You don’t remember how you made it back to your room, but figured that Toge had carried you back home before the sun rose. Making a mental note to thank your best friend later, you yawned as you padded out to your room, hands rubbing in circles at your stomach.

Hopefully breakfast would be amazing today.

The door next to you opened, revealing your younger classmate, and you frowned, because wasn’t Kugisaki your next door neighbour? Well, whatever, he, Yuuji, and Kugisaki might’ve taken advantage of the rare, peaceful weekend that they probably had a movie marathon the night before.

“Morning, Megumi!” you greeted, coughing a bit when you sounded off, throat a little horse and itchy. At the sound of your voice, Megumi stilled in his tracks, eyes wide at you. His comical expression had you barking in laughter, shooting finger guns his way as you wiggled your eyebrows. “Ey, be a good dog and bark for me, will you?”

Semi-visible sonic waves drifted like waves after one another out your mouth. Megumi scowled before he froze the next second, ears perked up and backside wagging in replacement of a tail. “Woof woof!”

“What the hell?” you reeled back in slight disgust, your underclassman’s cheeks burning red. Then, your lips grazed against a soft cloth, making you look down.

You blinked back once. Twice. You were definitely...built different today. Curiously, you tugged at the zipper peaking out from your black collar, the familiar zhoop sound of the zipper burned into your memory after hearing your best friend do it countless times before.

In front of you, Megumi screeched – the most noise he’d made ever since you met him – his jaw dropped open while you – or rather Toge stood at the end of the hallway, his hands squeezing at your breasts that were still under last night’s pyjamas. You blinked back once. Then twice, steam pouring from your nose when Toge, in your body, pointed at his body. 

“Oh, oh!” your scream bounced off the hallways hard enough that Panda slammed his door open, about to tell everyone to shut up when your voice let out a high-pitched scream.

“What are you doing in my body?!”

Looking down at where Toge was pointing, you were greeted by the sight of his dark uniform and sock clad feet, your chest replaced with hard muscles instead of the soft flesh. You turned to Toge with a stupefied look that mirrored his, both of you falling on the ground with fists pounding on the hardwood floor.

“I’m a fucking girl!” he cried out, whether out of happiness or frustration, it was hard to tell.

Meanwhile, you zipped his collar back up, tugging at his off-white hair as you forced yourself to remember his limited vocabulary. “BONITO FLAKES!”

Now you understood Toge’s frustration of being a cursed speech user. 

“Bonito Flakes” definitely did not hold the same fury as “FUCK” did.

“You and I need to set down some boundaries,” you signed to him, brows pulled together. Toge seemed to be enjoying this sudden body swap a lot more than you did since he hadn’t stopped posing in the mirror the moment you pushed him back to your room, locking it shut to get some privacy. “You are not, under any circumstances, allowed to shower, do you understand?”

Toge scowled at your words, sassy as ever with his hands placed on his hips, buttocks jutted out. You hated, absolutely hated that he used your body this way because this time you couldn’t even laugh – not when seeing your body felt this awkward.

“You would really rather me stink?”

“You can’t undress too! Ever! Or if you will, your eyes better be closed. No peeking too!”

“Y/N, you and I grew up together. I’ve already seen everything,” he rolled his eyes, earning him a hard slap from the arm. Considering he was a lot more muscular than you were, your hit came a lot harder. “Ow!” he protested, rubbing the sore spot that ached, only to laugh at the sounds emitting from his lips. “Wow, I have to admit that this is really fun though. I’m actually talking,” he announced, “Hey, say salmon for me.”

“Bonito flakes!” you shook your head, “The moment Principal Yaga is back, we’re going to talk to him, okay? I don’t want to be stuck in your body any longer!”

“Please, you’re lucky you get to feel me up,” he winked at you, taking your (his) hands to flatten it on his stomach. “Come on, come on, feel my abs!” Whack. “Would you please stop slapping me? Your body is a lot more delicate than mine and my hands are – stop slapping me!”

Feeling bad for your friend and not wanting to abuse your body too much, you raised your hands in surrender with a roll of your eyes. “I can’t take you seriously with that voice. You’re too cute.”

“Complimenting ourselves now, aren’t we?” he scoffed, “Well, whatever, you are cute, especially when you’re angry. Such a shame I can’t see you do that right now because my handsome face is looking back at me.”

“I won’t hesitate to choke you, my friend.”

“You wouldn’t. You adore your body too much,” contrary to his words, Toge pulled a defensive stance. You threw a pillow at him, to which he easily dodged, clutching at the hem of your pyjamas afterwards. “Speaking of bodies, I really need to pee.”

“Hold it!”

“Are you insane? I’m not holding it, you’re going to kill us both!”

“Fine, I’ll take you to the rest room then,” you tugged at the hood of your shirt, pushing him inside the communal female restroom. Toge stood in the middle shock still, evidently flustered at the stalls and lack of urinals. You flicked a finger on his forehead, finger pointed to a stall. “Go pee. That’s my body – I need to make sure you’re not going to do anything weird with it.”

“I thought you trusted me, friend. Why would you think I’d touch you that way?”

You gave him an ‘are you serious?’ look. “You jack off every fucking night, Toge. I can hear you even from the next hallway. Plus, you’re a horny teenage male, who’s to say you wouldn’t be curious and try to see what female masturbation feels like?”

His eyes lit up at the idea, fist coming down to bounce at the palm of his hand as he nodded. “That’s actually a good idea—”

“Don’t you even dare.”

“What?!” you and Toge both exclaimed. He faced you with utter horror written on his face and you gasped, slapping both palms over your lips.

“It is true,” Principal Yaga affirmed with a grim look on his face. He’d recently got back to fetch your troublesome Gojo-Sensei who’d been caught starting a ruckus in Roponggi while women flocked around him, leading to your principal to haul his ass back to the school grounds. “Some curses are manifested through daily objects, and sometimes even through nature. That shooting star you saw was an example of that.”

“But is kissing really necessary?” Toge queried with a wary gaze sent your way.

“It’s a fairytale curse. It can only be broken through a true love’s kiss.”

“But sir, Toge and I have never dated anyone before. How can we miraculously fall in love with someone to break this curse overnight?”

“It doesn’t have to happen overnight. Sometimes, a simple crush will do,” Principal Yaga sighed, scratching his bald head with his face pulled deep in thought. “Y/N, you have a crush on Gojo-Sensei right? I’m going to kill him if he actually kisses you – and knowing that damn brat he might if you ask him – but I think a kiss on the cheek will suffice. For now, you both just have to...broaden your relationships. Maybe go out on dates.”

“I don’t mind that. In fact, I’m going to have the time of my life,” Toge cheered, his mood dampening once he saw you stiffen. “But my body is...”

Knowing full well that he’d get insecure over his lack of speech again, you glared at him hard enough that your best friend straightened up, lips puckered out in a pout as if you hadn’t just caught him talking badly about himself again when you’ve told him countless times he was perfectly fine the way he was.

It made you sigh, feeling slightly bad that until now he still couldn’t see himself the way you saw him – not that you’d ever vocalize this; Toge would never shut up (in the best way he could) if he had the slightest idea what went inside your head.

“You’re lucky you have a pretty face. Otherwise, it’s going to be impossible for anyone to like you,” you teased instead, somewhat flustered at your indirect compliment.

Toge merely scoffed at you, his gaze burning and hard, contrasting the teasing little shit grin he wore. “Oh, please, if I wasn’t the cursed speech user, I would’ve banged—”

“Kids!” Principal Yaga threw his dolls at you hard, the both of you clutching at your heads in pain. How were those dolls as heavy as rocks? “Take your bickering back to your rooms please. No more of this mess and noise. It’s late.”

You frowned at the old man, face pleading as you signed, “Principal Yaga, can’t we really do anything else? Aren’t there any techniques to undo this?”

You and Toge knew that combination so well – pitch black eyes, jaw clenched, lips pursed and palms interlaced under his chin – one that meant his words were final and irrevocable. None of you could argue or suggest more solutions the moment the words left his lips like an ultimate decree. “The technique is the kiss. Now leave.”

You and Toge tried, you both really did. 

But following Principal Yaga’s suggestion of dating others had turned out to be a complete fail – even with your normal body and Toge’s physical charisma. 

It simply didn’t work; not when Megumi ran away from you every time you tried to get him to kiss you with your arms wide open, and Toge wasn’t helping either by pushing Gojo-Sensei away from you every time the cheeky eyed teacher announced his willingness to help.

Eventually, you and your best friend had retired in his room, the scent of him coated all over his pillows and his shirt that you wore. That felt comforting, at least, and you buried yourself in the crook of your body’s neck, bodies tangled with one another.

Who knew dating could be so tiring?

A wave of irritation flashed over you from today’s events, knowing full well that this could’ve been avoided long ago. Scowling, you cuddled Toge closer, lightly flicking your fingers on your body’s chest. “This is your damn fault, Toge.”

“You were the one who asked me to stargaze with you.”

“You don’t always have to say no to everything I ask of you, you know.”

“You’re really dumber than I thought if you think I could easily say no to you,” he snorted above you, his chin resting atop your head. “I don’t have a lot of weakness because I’m a strong sorcerer—” another flick, a harsher one this time around. “Okay, okay, I’m just kidding! But I mean it though – you’re my best friend and my weakness. Of course I’d do anything to make you happy, even if it’s something as stupid as stargazing.”

“Hey!” you made a sound of protest in your throat, looking back at him with a frown. “It wasn’t stupid, it was romantic.”

Hell yeah, it was romantic indeed – your heart still skipped a beat every time you remembered Toge’s starry eyes matching the night sky’s beauty, the words salmon and mustard leaf surprisingly sexy every time it came from him. It was stupid – so fucking stupid – that you groaned into his chest to hide your flushed face.

“Yeah, I suppose it was.”

The room fell silent, your syncopated breathing soothing during this stressful times. Taking advantage of your voice, Toge began to hum, singing the songs you both had always listened to in the privacy of your room during lazy days. It brought a smile to your face as you clutched to him tighter, heart pounding in your chest as you gazed up at him, tapping his chin to get his attention. “Toge, can I say something weird?”

“Please, nothing you say surprises me anymore. Shoot.”

Your mouth began to dry as you cleared your throat in an attempt to hide your awkwardness, gaze pointedly averted from his prying ones. “You and I...we’ve known each other for a long time and we love each other. As best friends, of course.”

“Sheesh, friendzone much?”

“Would you please shut up and listen to me seriously for once?” you huffed, making him snicker, but nodded at you anyway to continue. “As I was saying – why don’t we kiss? It could be true love’s kiss.”

Toge didn’t speak for a good minute, the pregnant pause filling in the gap filled with tension. You taped his cheek, waving his hand in front of his eyes when he dazed out. When his gaze focussed back on you, Toge was surprisingly calm – although beneath that composed exterior, his mind had simply short-circuited. “If this is your way to get to make out with me, I’m going to sock you in the face.”

“Toge, I’m serious! Let’s kiss!”

“I don’t want to!” he shook his head indignantly, hiding his face by hugging you close to his chest instead.

“Why not? Don’t you want to swap back to your original body? Both of us haven’t showered in two days and I’m sick of the way you smell. You’re lucky I love you though, otherwise I’m going to cry. Come on, Toge, what’s holding you back?” you tried to fight back from his grip, but he’d surprised you both when he only squeezed you tighter, both your erratic heart rates matching the other.

“I said no.”

“Toge, it’s just a damn kiss, what’re you so afraid of?”

“I’m afraid that if we don’t swap back, then that means you don’t love me the way I love you!” he finally admitted, breathing hard before continuing. “Principal Yaga said it must be a kiss between lovers and not just platonic friends okay?” you attempted to scramble away from his arms again, and this time he let you, though he’d closed his eyes, cheek squished on the pillows as he murmured, “I don’t want you to reject me... even though I messed up already.”

“Wait,” you snapped your fingers to make him open his eyes, hesitant as you signed, “You...you love me that way?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Why not?”

“Because my face is staring back at me and it’s fucking awkward – I wanted to see your face when I confessed!” he sat up with a frustrated groan, childishly kicking off the sheets of the bed as he clutched his head in his hands. “I had everything planned, okay? Nobara and Yuuji helped me think of everything because Megumi is shit when it comes to love. Listen, I was going to ask you on a candlelit date and then maybe kiss the life out of you – if you feel the same way—”

“Kiss me.” The body he possessed a victim of his own powers, Toge was left with no choice but to grab your face before his mouth pressed against yours, fingers entangled into the other’s hair. You were smiling into the kiss the whole time, barely able to recognize when Toge had shifted your bodies until you were under him, his hands running down your sides lovingly the whole time. 

Pulling away to get some air, you opened your eyes, unsurprised when Toge laid above you, his strong arms planted beside your head.

Both of you were breathing hard from the passionate kiss filled with so much sexual tension and longing, your tongue darting out to swipe at his taste on your lips. The laughter that bubbled out of you was pure, wholesome and swollen like your heart. “I love you too, idiot.”

“Salmon!” Toge peppered your cheeks with kisses, pulling out more gleeful laughter from you, his playful and loving attacks more of a gift than a punishment. Once you’d recovered from your happiness – although really, who could recover after that? – Toge unzipped his collar, his smile nothing but wicked when he commanded, “Kiss me again.”

[realcube]

how they use their quirk during sex

navi | masterlist | taglist 

thank you to anon for this request 

characters ♡ bakugo, kirishima, kaminari, dabi & tamaki

content warning ♡ slapping, electrostimulation, fire play, masturbation, mentions of voyeur, choking, oral (giving + receiving), blood kink, mention of knife play, unconventional organism eating & vagina-having reader - minors dni

katsuki bakugo 

♡ he likes to ensure that his slaps leave a mark

♡ just so everyone knows that you’re his

♡ just seeing you all marked up from his explosions and hand just gets him so hard tbh

♡ also, he loves squeezing you - it makes him feel powerful and dominant - so sometimes he just grabs a handful of your tit, squeezes it then proceeds to make you yelp by setting off a lil’ explosion in his hand 

♡ he’s no villain, but he definitely wants to hear you scream in pain or pleasure - either or both works 

♡ so whenever he is hitting it from behind and you feel a zing through your body after he spanks your thigh, mentally prepare yourself for trouble in regards to sitting down - for the next week or so 

♡ it’s a hard thing to do though because he needs to be 100% that he won’t seriously burn you or harm you, or else he literally wouldn’t be able to look himself in the mirror for the rest of...his life 

♡ so yeah, if he’s not completely confident in the fact he’ll be able to smack you without burning you, he just won’t do it 

♡ also, the little crackles and pops from miniature, involuntary explosions going off as he approaches his climax not only entertain you, but they also drown out his moans 

♡ not that he’s ashamed of the sounds he makes - he’s loud and proud - it’s just that the explosions help balance out the noise so it’s not just his grunts echoing throughout the room

♡  plus, they add ambience 

eijiro kirishima

♡ he hardens his back to avoid getting scratches on it lol

♡ it’s not that he doesn’t like getting marked up by you or anything, it’s just a hero instinct tbh

♡ but honestly, you like the feeling of your nails digging into his back then suddenly, the skin becomes sniffer around your fingers

♡ sometimes he accidentally employs his quirk while he is choking you because he gets so into it 

♡ or just as he is about to slap your thigh/ass

♡ he also has a bad habit of hardening when you are trying to give him hickeys

♡ so yeah, you’ll probably be left with bruises, hand prints and bite mark scattered across your inner thigh and torso after sex with kirishima and he leaves unscathed 

♡ also, idk if this is apart of his quirk but his pointy-ass teeth definitely come in handy - especially if you have a blood/biting kink

♡ kiri is willing to go full vampire for you <3

♡ also, you don’t need knives to do knife play with kiri - he is the knife (well, his teeth are) 

♡ he says sternly that he doesn’t enjoy knife/blood play but then he gets oddly aroused when drawing blood from your thigh or nibbling at your slit while he eats you out 

denki kaminari 

♡ i am so sorry but i can’t stop thinking about kami playfully zapping you during sex AAAA

♡ like if you are into electrostimulation- kaminari is basically your sex soulmate 

♡ also if you aren’t like super into electrostim but you give consent for him to lightly zap you from time to time, he will take advantage of that

♡ like just as you’re approaching your orgasm, he’ll shock you slightly so your moans are even louder and your pleasure is escalated 

♡ or sometimes during the foreplay, when he is just fondling with your breasts, he’ll give it a lil’ zap so you perk up and whine for him 

♡ he just loves seeing the way your whole body juts in reactions and how your nipples erect at the shock

♡ whenever he slaps your thigh/ass, it’ll always send somewhat of a current through your body, which arouses you even more 

♡ tickles your clit with electric sometimes just to add some flare 

♡ he might make you beg for his touch if you’re needy enough, then simply run his charged hand over your body teasingly

♡ but if you’re into full-on electrostimulation, he’s extreme picky about the times he is able to utilise his quirk bc now he’ll have to send larger currents (instead of just lil zaps which i assume are easily to control) so ofc he needs to be in the right headspace or he could potentially harm you and obviously, that’s the last him he wants to do

♡ so yeah, he probably trains his quirk extra to ensure that he can produce exactly the right amount of electricity for you

♡ omg and he is probably into mutual masturbation/voyeur !! bc you are like his goddess so ofc he gets off to seeing you touch yourself even if he isn’t the one providing the pleasure. also it really brings out his inner perv 

♡ so if you like to use toys when you masturbate, literally do not worry about any of them running out of charge/battery while you’re pleasuring yourself, kaminari has you covered bb 💅 

♡ also, outside of sex he probably playfully zaps you all the time - like if he is standing behind you, he’ll tap your shoulder followed by a little electric shock. which makes you jump and turn around to see him standing, whistling and averting his gaze unsuspectingly

♡ ‘what, kami? and ouch.’

♡ his eyes widened as he inhaled sharply with an offended look on his face, ‘eh, what?! i didn’t do anything!’

♡ you blinked rapidly, ‘who else has an electricity quirk nearby?’

dabi

♡ he mostly uses his quirk during the actual act of peneration

♡ he rarely uses it during foreplay 

♡ maybe just to set the mood by using his finger to light the candles on his bedside table or sumn 

♡ or, if you’re into fire play, he’ll drag his glowing finger across your chest to trace your curves while leaving a pale marks behind, shooting an erotic burning sensation through your body 

♡ or LORD he (lightly) burns his name into your skin !! so everyone knows you are his >:)

♡ i believe that - unlike the other boys - dabi is able to control his quirk pretty well all throughout sex, no matter what mood he is in

♡ so angry make-up sex with added fireplay isn’t completely out of the question

♡ though, he is a bit cruel so if he’s got your ass in his hands while he’s approaching his orgasm, he will purposefully burn marks into your skin

♡ however, everything comes with a price

♡ so although he can control his quirk at almost all times, he does not know how to deal with the aftermath pffft

♡ he’ll look at your bright red ass and how you are struggling to sit down and be like ‘put some aloe vera on it idfk 🤷‍♂️’ 

♡ anyway, just expect there to be burn marks on every part of your body that dabi touched

♡ the most painful ones are probably the ones he leave on your hips, while he holds your pretty figure in place and drills into you from behind

♡ or perhaps the ones he makes on the back of your head as he forces you take more of his cock into your mouth 

♡ then again, the burns on your neck once he has finished roughly choking you like a slut while pounding into your cunt, were also problematic�� 

♡ but the handprints he leaves on your torso as he feels around the bulge his massive cock makes in your stomach also hurt quite bad 

♡ god knows, but you’re just generally in pain after sex with dabi tbh

tamaki amajiki

♡ suneater more like pussyeater amarite

♡ this might be a lil bestiality-esque bc he is like a human who develops features of an animal but like..he is still a human, after all, so he can consent 

♡ but anyway, tw for anyone who doesn’t want to read anything of the sort !!

♡ ok, so, let’s get this out of the way first - tentacles 😍 KJVDKFVZDI

♡ he uses them exactly how you imagine he would; he simultaneous holds you down, massages your breast, covers your mouth, chokes you, slithers one up your cunt and one up your ass - just..everything...

♡ like if the tentacles are out, you know you are getting overstimulated that night

♡ also sometimes - if he’s feeling especially bold - he’ll slip one of his tentacles under your skirt while in public then just watch as you desperately try to stifle moans from how good he feels squirming inside you  

♡ you both like it a little more than you’d like to admit tbh

♡ also, one time he ate goose just so he could manifest wings and try fuck you mid-air lmao 

♡ that would’ve brought a whole new meaning to ‘flying fuck’

♡ unfortunately, it didn’t work as well as he had hoped as his wings couldn’t support both of your weight so it was more like him hovering over the bed while drilling into you from above 

♡ it was definitely a new angle though, so you couldn’t complain

♡ he’ll pinch your clit and squeeze your tits with his lobster claws but that’s about it - he generally doesn’t tend to manifest those during sex

♡ one of his dirtiest secrets is that one time, he paid crazy money for a dish with elephant meat in it, in hopes that he’d get a monster cock

♡ (no, the thought never occurred to him that perhaps horse would be a better, cheaper alternative)

♡ bc he highkey has a size kink but you’ve already kinda gotten use to his size so he needed to amp it up...

♡ but no- all he got was a trunk 😭

♡ however, it wasn’t all bad bc at least he made good use of that trunk- 

♡ (he shoved it so far up you, he hoped to see it come out your mouth 🥰)

♡ anyway, rapid-fire round:

♡ he once ate rabbit so he could develop bunny ears and a tail so he could be your cute lil’ bunny boy 🥺 while you peg him 

♡ buffalo wings get him riled up tbh - only top energy after he has buffalo wings 

♡ honestly, the beak he manifests after eating chicken lowkey destroys your cunt- 

♡ the leathery skin he gets after eating crocodile makes him feel badass

♡ oh! and the sharp teeth too- like kirishima, he will go full-vampire if you want him too

♡ his quirk is so versatile, just let your imagination run wild lmao ✨  

♡ plus, he is pretty whipped for you so he's basically down to try anything

[lunnybunny12]

Sandor Clegane X Reader (Reason 4)

Part 1 (Reason 1) Part 2 (Reason 2) Part 3 (Reason 3) Part 4 (Currently reading)  Master list 

AN: This is the worst chapter by far in m opinion but here it is. 

Thank you to @golden-healer​

Warnings: masturbation, hunting and swearing 

Many nights had passed and as expected, they got colder. More often than not you find yourself waking in the middle of the night, with your whole body shaking violently and your fingers were practically frozen solid. The only things keeping you warm were the flickering flames of the fire pit and Sanodors cloak, and every night you thanked whatever god or gods for that one piece of sanctuary.

There was another thing you found yourself doing. It was something everyone did and what future generations would continue to do for as long as humans drew breath. Regardless of how good it felt and how natural it was... you felt somewhat ashamed or guilty when doing so. ---------------------------------------------

Another day, another day of riding for hours on end to the coldest place on earth.

As you rocked and swayed on the back of your horse, you felt your eyes begin to feel heavier and heavier until eventually, all you saw was black.

"Are you that tired sparrow?" Thoros asked with this same ridiculous grin he always had.

"No, it's because you're that fucking boring" You yawned, and repositioned yourself on the saddle.

Thoros chuckled and asked "You look tired, when did you last have a full nights rest? I know you're awake when we all sleep."

You allowed your horse to linger behind the rest of the group to properly talk to the red priest.

You and Thoros had always had an unspoken tension. Why? You didn't know. You got along with one another and acted like you'd known each other for years. He just had his own way of pissing you off and you had the same effect on him. It was fun.

"Probably back in the Riverlands. And how do you know I'm awake?" You asked with a chuckle.

"Did your Lord tell you? Because if so, I class that as a violation of privacy."

"I don't need the Lord of Light to tell me things about you. I know you more than you think"

"oh, you do now?" You chuffed "do tell"

"I know you're a smart mouth. I know you sneak off and hunt for whatever animal you can sink your arrow into. I know that It's Clegane in that memory you seem to smile at so much..."

Thoros leaned over to close the gap between your horses and whispered "...And I know that it's his name you whisper when you touch yourself at night-"

Your face began to burn. It could have been from the cold or the embarrassment you felt as you processed the new information. How did he know? You slept at the edge of camp so that no one could hear you.

He had to be bluffing...

"I have no idea what you're talking about," you said to him, trying to act as calmly as possible.

"You're plenty of things Sparrow, but an actress isn't one of them. Not a good one anyway." Thoros quipped as he took a large gulp of rum and handed it to you.

In honesty, you knew deep down that he wasn't bluffing and that he knew what he heard. You also knew that despite your differences there was some sort of respect between the pair of you that made you trust the man.

"Who knows?"

"As far as I know, just me."

"Id like to keep it that way," you said drinking from the bottle.

"I'll make sure of it IF you tell me something. And don't lie I'll know if you do." Thrones said In a serious tone.  

"Why Clegane?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Luckily enough for you, the brotherhood stumbled upon another abandoned farmhouse to shelter in for the night but it was in the same state as others you had come across.

Another dusty, dishevelled husk of the home it once was. Broken windows, rusted farming tools, an empty animal pen and torn clumps of fabric. Nothing about that farm was any different from the ones that came before.

When it came to places like that, places that seemed safe, the brotherhood had a way of doing things so that everyone could be settled easier. Everyone had a job to do. Some were hunters, others were gatherers or cleaners or scouts and the roles continuously changed depending on who was capable. You were capable of shooting a bow and actually hitting what you wanted it to.

And you had the hunting job... like always.

The feeling of snow crunching beneath your feet was something that you'd never get used to. Hunting in the snow wasn't ideal but not impossible.  With each step, the snow seemed to get tougher to move through, and when you stopped to tighten your cloak strings, you heard something. Something that sounded like someone else walking in the snow.

"You know for someone who hates the cold, you go out in it a lot," Sandor said, allowing you to sigh in relief.

"I've got to get used to the cold somehow," you said drawing back your bowstring and letting lose and arrow.

The arrow shot through the air and landed in the body of a pigeon, pinning it to the trunk of a tree.

With a sigh, you looped the bow around your body and asked "You think a pigeon would be good for supper? It's probably the closest thing to the chicken we can find out here."

The man didn't answer you. Instead, he walked right past you and yanked the bird out of the tree with a grunt. He had been like that the past few days. Avoiding eye contact and didn't talk as much as he used to. It worried you.

After shoving the kill into his satchel, he lumbered towards you and handed you your arrow.  

He looked tired, way more tired than you were. Dark circles around his eyes and slow breaths said as much but there was something else you saw.

He tapped you on the head with the featured side of the arrow.

"Do you want this or not?"

"I'll take it," You said, snatching it from him.

[criticallyacclaimedstranger]

Fic: What Spring Does To The Cherry Trees, Chapter 8

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12

Rating: Explicit

Fandom: Narcos

Ship: Javier Peña/OFC (Eva)

Words: 5,831

Tags/warnings (whole thing): slow burn, h/c, a bit of violence (nothing as bad as canon), guns, knife injury, pain and suffering, the loss of a parent (both actually), angst, ptsd, javi being a lil prick but also soft!, (safe) piv sex, masturbation (female AND male), fingering, unprotected piv sex (in the words of the Spice Girls: be a little bit wiser baby, put it on, put it on), pregnancy risk, death of an animal, talk of cancer, so much internal conflict, insomnia, killing coyotes, snake bite, oh my god just get over yourselves already, some eye fucking if you squint, yearningggggggg, descriptions of food, jealousy.

Summary for the whole thing: Javier Peña has resigned from the DEA and is back at his dad’s ranch in Texas. Life is slow and uneventful, until an unfamiliar face shows up at the local watering hole one night. Eva is retired from the army and lives in her old pickup truck with more than one ghost. She’s looking for ranch work and when her path crosses Javier’s, maybe they can help each other along in their lives?

Chapter summary: A short roadtrip forces Eva and Javier to spend some time together.

A/N: Sorry this took so long! My beta and I have lives that happen. Hope you guys like this chapter, I myself am super stoked!

The calf recovers fully and is returned to its mother the following morning, and Javier has a new reason to throw teasing glances in Eva’s direction. She stoically ignores him, instead focusing on doing her job with the calf now following her around.

“That’s what you get for spoiling them,” Javi tells her gleefully when he brings lunch. “Try sending it to slaughter now. Next thing you know, you’re going to name it.”

“You jealous?” The taunt seems to slip out of her, and it makes his heart jolt. He wouldn’t read too much into it, but Eva doesn’t tease, so he’s going to enjoy this treat. And perhaps try the waters.

“Maybe.” He throws her a smile, one of those devilish-yet boyish ones he used to give secretaries at the consulate in Bogotá to get what he wanted. A forged document. A phone number. A file he didn’t have access to. A heated moment in the supply closet.

He quickly realizes that it was the wrong call with Eva. She gives him a stare, her honey on chocolate eyes turning icy despite their warm color, and turns her back on him, doesn’t speak to him again for the rest of the day.

Stubborn, irrational woman! He knows now for a fact that she is flirting with him, but as soon as he does the same to her, she presents him with the coldest of shoulders. And it drives him insane that he can’t figure out what her problem is. She reels him in, then pushes him away, time and again. He’s not used to this kind of work with a person of the fairer sex.

At a very quiet dinner that very same evening, Chucho clears his throat and declares that he wants Javi to drive up to San Antonio and bring home the stud the next day.

“Why me?” Javi mutters, in no mood for a roadtrip.

“Because you’re so good with people.” The ghost of a smile hides under Chucho’s mustache as he turns to Eva. “You go with him.”

“Whatever for?” She rarely contradicts Chucho and even now, she’s more inquisitive than obstinate.

“Because you are good with horses. Have a look at it. Ride it. If you're okay it, Javi can buy it.”

Eva just nods, used to following orders as she is. But later, when she’s helping Chucho clear the table, Javi having gone out, she questions his request.

“I don’t know horses any better than you do,” she points out. “Why do you want me to go?”

Chucho opens the tap and the sink starts to fill with warm water.

“You need to get out a little. You work very hard. Drive up to San Antonio. Have an ice cream, or something.”

“An ice cream?” she echoes, staring at him, expecting a punchline to drop. Unperturbed, Chucho starts to fish out cutlery from the sink, and cleans them with a sponge.

“Or something.”

Eva leaves the house without knowing what to think. She’s not stupid, she knows that Chucho sees more than he lets on, and that he knows something has happened between her and his son. She realizes now that over the months that have gone by since that night in March, Chucho has found several occasions to put her and Javi to work together. Goddamn match-maker, what gives him the right? Her anger makes her antsy, so her evening ritual of reading a book on the porch proves difficult. Lifting her gaze, she sees Javi across the yard, on the porch of the main house. He’s looking in another direction, a beer in hand. For a moment, she wishes he would come over, offer her a bottle as well.

She shakes her head, gets up and goes into the cabin.

///

They leave not long after breakfast the next day. Javi is driving the newer pickup truck, the horse trailer is attached, and Eva has the passenger seat. She spends most of the first half hour staring stubbornly out the window, seeing the Santa Cruz signs come and go as they leave the little town behind them. Mile after mile of pastures – most of the land around Santa Cruz belongs to ranches – and the occasional herd, driven by mounted ranch hands, have her sighing wistfully, wishing she was anywhere but in this car.

Javi’s wearing a lavender shirt and feels overdressed next to Eva, in her simple t-shirt, frayed jeans, and boots. The wardrobe he brought back with him from Colombia wasn’t really your typical ranch wear, but his old clothes that he found in his closet didn’t fit him anymore. He used to be lanky. Now he is just pancake-assed and flabby.

He glances to the side, his Ray-Bans coloring Eva’s profile yellow. What does she see when she looks at him? A pot-bellied has-been who can’t lasso a calf? An irresponsible failure?

She presents no answers, but she does catch him looking at her. True to her usual habit, she meets his gaze head-on.

“What?” she demands, a little annoyed. Javi directs his eyes back to the road.

“Nothing.”

Her stare stays on him, challenging him to speak, and it brings a smirk to his lips.

“You look like you’d rather be out there, with the cows.”

“You know what? Yes, I would.”

Eva turns her head back to face front, watching the miles ahead of them.

“I spent a lot of time on the road,” she offers, a small frown distorting her face. “It’s nice to stay put.”

“You know you can stay for as long as you like,” Javi tells her, his voice falling an octave, before realizing how it sounds. “What I mean is… you do good work. Pop is very happy with you.”

She only hums, and the rest of the drive up is spent in silence.

///

The mustang looks good, as far as Javi can tell. It’s a black stallion, good papers, good looks. Eva inspects it carefully before saddling it. Javi and the owner follow her as she leads it to the paddock and mounts it. The owner, an older guy as Texan as they come, talks about the animal and its qualities, but Javi barely listens. He leans against the paddock fence, watching Eva’s sober face for subtle signs of her opinion as she maneuvers the horse, the gravel crunching under its hooves. Her left hand is resting comfortably on her thigh, so the horse is easy to ride. There’s an air of effortlessness in how she moves with the horse. Her little clicks and tuts sound happy. She likes it. It’s definitely coming home with them.

“Looks good, don’t it?” Donald, the owner of the place, pushes his hat further up his forehead. The way he observes Eva on the horse makes Javi think that he doesn’t mean the animal. It annoys him more than he’s willing to admit.

He gives the man his most terrifying cop stare, and it seems to work, because Donald does not only tear his gaze from the woman and the horse in the paddock, he also lowers the price he and Chucho had previously agreed on.

Donald leaves to get the paperwork ready, and Eva rides up to the fence. Javi puts his hands on his hips and squints against the light at her.

“You approve?”

“It’s a great horse. I really think Chucho should buy it.”

“Thought as much. Although we have to change its name.”

Eva grimaces. “Yeah, I’m not calling it Reagan. What the fuck were they thinking?”

Javi chuckles as she directs the horse into one last lap around the paddock. He then turns around to follow Donald into the office, where his daughter greets him.

“Daddy went to get some papers from the house,” she explains. She’s a few years younger, and his type: sweet, blonde, and curvy. It awakens the old instincts. He can’t help being charming towards a woman like that. Before he knows it, he’s closer to her than he needs to be, leaning towards her, smiling at her like they share a secret.

She laps it up. They always do. All of them, except Eva. And that’s suddenly all that matters, so he finds himself taking a step back.

“Listen, can you tell me if there are any restaurants nearby that serve good vegetarian food? We thought we’d grab some lunch before we return home.”

“You’re welcome to eat with us,” she assures him almost immediately. Javi gives her a warm smile.

“That’s nice of you to offer, but we don’t want to impose. Besides, I’m kinda asking her out.”

He nods towards the open door, meaning Eva outside. As his gaze lifts, he sees her across the yard by the paddock, with the horse. She’s caressing her palm down the long bridge of its nose. Javi can’t see her face, but there’s something endearing about how she leans towards the horse, apparently talking to it.

A curvy blonde with a willing smile is less work, but he finds himself up for the challenge. Again. For the millionth time this summer, it seems.

Donald returns with the paperwork, and his daughter gives her restaurant recommendation. Javi wraps it up, tells them they’ll be back after lunch, and walks out into the sunshine.

///

Eva stares stubbornly at the mustang when Javi returns, a pleased smile on his face. He has every reason to look pleased, she reckons, having seen him and that woman through the open door. Heads together, whispering. Looking very cozy. It annoys her more than she wishes it did and that, in turn, annoys her further. She obviously doesn’t give one single fuck about him and whom he chooses to flirt with. Javier can flirt with anyone he wants to.

“Leave him,” Javi tells her. “We’ll go into town first.”

Eva refuses to look at him, which of course makes it weird. Dammit.

“Why? I thought we were here to buy a horse.” She takes the saddle off the horse and puts it on the fence, keeping a distance to Javi.

“It’s lunchtime. Figured you’d be hungry.”

“I’m fine. Let’s just load the horse and go back.”

“Well, I’m hungry, and I don’t want to drive back on an empty stomach. Come on.”

They leave the horse and the trailer, and Javier navigates them into San Antonio. They pass by several restaurants, and Eva grows more impatient.

“Just pick one,” she sighs, wishing they’d get it over and done with. Her chances of getting a good vegetarian meal are not great, so she’d rather just take any old place with basic fries and maybe mozzarella sticks, or an edible salad.

“Yeah, hold on, it’s gotta be here somewhere,” he murmurs, before lighting up. He turns the car onto a parking lot and stops, looking at Eva as he kills the engine. She, in turn, is looking wide-eyed at the humble little building and its sign that says The Carrot Café in orange, and All Vegetarian Diner in smaller, green lettering.

“You wanna try it?”

She looks at him, uncertain about how to answer to this kindness. She saw him with that woman at the farm, how close to her he was standing, how her hand nearly touched his hip. And now this? What’s his deal?

“Sure.” She can’t very well say no, that would just be strange. Besides, she could eat.

Turns out that was a good choice: the food is absolutely delicious, quite traditional, and inspired by Mexican cuisine.

“This is really good.” Javier sounds a little surprised as he digs into his grilled vegetables and cashew-quinoa patty with homemade dressing. “And it’s nice to eat in peace for once, right?”

“Not exactly what I call peaceful,” Eva points out. The restaurant is bustling with customers, order numbers yelled out, and there’s an undercurrent of music that she can’t quite make out. She watches in fascination as Javier licks sauce from his lower lip.

“I mean, without pop and the others nearby,” he specifies, catching her stare. “Just… you and me.”

Eva looks down, takes a sip of her Coke, and then squares her shoulders. She looks up again and regards Javier across the table. He raises his eyebrows in a silent question.

“You didn’t want to bring that blonde to lunch, then?” she asks, not really sure why she even brings it up. “You two looked really cozy together.”

He stops chewing for a moment before his jaw resumes the movement, and he puts down the cutlery.

“What do you care?” he asks her pointedly after swallowing. Eva shrugs.

“Just making conversation.”

“I was asking her about restaurants.”

“She seems to have great taste.”

Eva has no idea why she’s doing this. Maybe it’s the comment Johnny dropped what seems like ages ago – “you know he nails everything with two sets of lips, right?” – maybe it’s the momentary emptiness Eva felt when seeing Javier move closer to the woman, standing over her like he was going to kiss her.

He's under her skin. She hates it. It makes her stomach coil and her thoughts race. It makes it hard to make decisions.

Javier leans back in his seat, his face unreadable, eyebrows meeting. Eva gets the feeling that this could be reminiscent of the face he put on during interrogations, when he was in the DEA. It’s definitely unsettling, but she’s not a lightweight. She sits back as well and meets his gaze boldly.

“You saw us?” he asks her, and his voice comes out in such a stark contrast to his face: remorseful and apologetic. Eva shrugs and returns to her burrito. Put it out of your mind, it’s none of your business.

“Nothing to see, was there? Just you asking her about restaurants.”

Just you flirting with me yesterday, and then chatting up someone else today. But sure, you have every right. We’re not fucking married.

“Exactly.” There’s a bit of an edge to his voice. A warning? She can’t tell. She dunks a sweet potato fry into the dressing and pops it into her mouth, tasting how sweet meets tart as soft and crunchy textures mix. That’s a good fucking fry right there. A small smile breaks free on her face without her knowing.

“You look like you’re thinking of one of your poems.”

Eva blinks at Javi, whose hands are still holding the cutlery, but resting against the table. His features look more relaxed now.

“When we were in the backyard and you talked about Neruda’s poem about tomatoes. You have the same look on your face now.”

“What look is that?”

“Dreamy.”

She grimaces. Dreamy isn’t really how she’d prefer to be described. Javier hums a little apologetically, and starts to chase a piece of grilled bell pepper around his plate. There’s something despondent about the action, driving up a sense of guilt in her. She’s maybe being too hard on him. He’s really trying to show interest.

“It’s just…” She licks her lips, tasting the memory of the fry. “Neruda has a poem about French fries.”

Javi looks up, puzzled, lips molded into that little pout he so often displays.

“French fries?” His tone asks her to elaborate.

“The whole ‘every little thing is beautiful if you look at it close enough’ thing he had going on, you know?” Eva nods, biting into another fry.

“And it goes?” Javier prompts. She rolls her eyes and swallows what she has in her mouth, before clearing her throat theatrically.

“What sizzles in boiling oil is the world’s pleasure… No, I’m not gonna do the rest of it.” She feels her cheeks warm, and hopes it doesn’t show.

Javi cracks a smile underneath the mustache. “Why not?”

Eva shakes her head self-consciously. “Go to the library. Read a poetry book.”

“Or I’ll just borrow it from you,” he winks. There he goes again. That’s flirting, isn’t it? As soon as Eva catches herself thinking that, she draws back, clams shut. Still, she’s enjoying being more relaxed around him. She extends her arm across the table, the little paper bag of fries in her hand.

“Try one?”

When they’ve eaten and are getting ready to leave, Javier insists on paying for lunch. Eva can’t help but dispute it. She does not need to be treated to meals.

“I already eat for free at the ranch!” she points out.

“You work harder than anybody else in that old place, so it’s hardly free food.”

“I can pay for myself, Javier.”

“It’s only fair,” Javier tells her with some sarcastic finality. “You did, after all, have to endure the injustice of having to spend the day with me.”

Eva stares at him, lips pursed, then shrugs and leaves him at the cashier’s. The heat hits her in a very physical manner when she steps out of the air-conditioned diner, and it’s the punch to the face that she deserves. When Javi joins her and they walk to the car, she thanks him for lunch.

“You’re welcome.” He throws her a grin, one of those boyish, annoying, endearing ones that she wants to avoid at all costs. “The pleasure was mine, I’m sure. I got a good meal, and both my cultural and culinary horizons were expanded. I wouldn’t write poetry about them, but those fries were really good.”

She purses her lips as they get into the car.

“Are you making fun of me?”

He shakes his head as he starts the car and gets the AC going.

“I wouldn’t dare to. You’re far too deadly.”

She likes that more than being called dreamy. And that seems so fucked up it’s almost depressing. As Javi drives back to the pick up the horse, she sits in silence and tries not to overthink things.

The blonde is nowhere to be seen when they return to the studfarm, and Eva is embarrassingly happy about that. The horse proves easy to load into the trailer, which is always a relief. Javier finishes things with the former owner, papers change hands, and Eva gives the horse a final pat on the neck before they get back into the car and Javi heads south on the highway.

He turns on the radio and picks a channel at random. A distantly familiar song comes on, the lyrics almost recognizable: Soy el fuego que arde tu piel, soy el agua que mata tu sed, el castillo, la torre yo soy… Eva frowns as she tries and fails to place it. The slow yet catching rhythm of it is sensual, and makes her extremely aware of Javi’s arms in that ridiculous lavender shirt.

“What about Pablo?” Javier suddenly asks her. She almost jumps.

“Huh?”

“The horse. We can’t call it Reagan, right? How’s Pablo? For Neruda?”

The gesture is touching, and she turns to him with a smile.

“You serious?”

“Sure. Pablo’s a good name.”

“Wouldn’t it be weird? Pablo was also the name of the drug baron you caught.”

A tightness appears in his jawline and Eva raises her eyebrows, waiting for him to speak.

“I didn’t catch Pablo Escobar,” he says eventually.

“I heard –“

“I hunted him for a decade, yes. But I didn’t catch him. I… fucked up, and was sent home. My partner was there when they caught him. I was stateside, getting drunk in a bar in Laredo.”

He is as stone, in both voice and face. Eva feels a cold chill run down her back, and reaches for the climate control panel to dial down the AC.

It is not the first time Javi has offered her a glimpse of his past, but this is nothing like him sharing thoughts and feelings about his dead mother. When he speaks of her, he’s a little boy missing his mom. This is a grown man living with a professional failure that clearly has had an impact on his sense of self worth.

Kind of like herself.

“I’m sorry,” she offers feebly to take her mind off her own shortcomings. “I didn’t know that.”

“Very few do.”

“That must’ve been harsh. All that work…”

“Yeah, well, maybe I deserved it,” he cuts her off, a hard edge to his voice. “I did a lot of shit I’m not proud of while I was down there.”

He glances at her. “And he ended up dead anyway, so what does it matter who killed him? I was one agent among many.”

“Yeah,” Eva nods, chewing on her lower lip thoughtfully. “What does it matter in the end?”

They drive for a mile or two before Javier speaks up again.

“I think Pablo’s a good name, though.”

“Yeah? Okay.”

“That’s settled, then.” His low voice sounds pleased, and Eva is filled with a sense of comfortable warmth for the rest of the drive, despite the chill of the AC.

The addition of Pablo to the ranks was necessary: it is time to round up the cattle, separate the animals, and decide which adults are to be sold for slaughter, and which calves will be sold to other places. It’s decidedly not Eva’s favorite part of working ranches, but it’s part of the life. She throws herself into the work, endures the heat of the long summer days, and collapses into bed when the night brings some respite from the scalding sun.

The cattle that gets picked out for slaughter are brought closer to the ranch, where they are fattened with fresh grass and additional grain for a few weeks. Chucho practices on-farm slaughtering to spare the animals the stress of transport, which Eva appreciates. Yet, she also makes a note to herself to be out on the day. She doesn’t need to see the end.

The heat turns stifling and humid for a couple of days, rendering the cattle, horses, and cowhands sluggish and touchy, before welcome dark clouds begin to gather on the northern horizon one afternoon. Before Chucho and his employees are home that night, the heavens open, releasing the long-awaited rain. Chucho invited all his employees for dinner that night, and the dining-table is swept clean, accounting books and calculators giving way for plates, glasses, and at least a dozen bowls of tortilla fillings. Beers are opened, laughter rumbles through the house, and Eva feels the tension of the last few days melt away as the older men entertain their younger friends with fireside tales. This is life as she knows it: grey-haired men with calloused hands and rough voices regaling tales of the old country, of hard work and light nights, of magic and love, of death and hope. She doesn’t even notice when Miguel switches to Spanish as he begins to weave the threads of a new tale, gently coaxing her into the story like a spider seducing a fly with sugary treats. She is easily lured when it comes to fairytales; her mother taught them to her, her father kept them alive when she was no longer. It’s easy to get lost in nights like this.

It's late when the company breaks up. The men are put on couches and the berth in the tack room. Eva lingers in the main house, helping Javi with the dishes. The beers and late hour make her relax, and when she bumps hips with him by the sink, she doesn’t shy away. When Javi smiles at her, his eyes a little unfocused by the same liquid reason her own body lacks in motoric skills, she smiles back instead of glaring. She half expects him to take advantage and try to kiss her – in a way, she wants him to – but when the dining table is cleared and the kitchen is tidy, he wishes her a good night before retiring to his room. Eva is left standing in the kitchen, heart beating like a drum against her ribs, mouth dry, lips burning. Ready to be kissed. Ready to do something stupid. Ready to embrace the stupid for just a moment of reckless abandonment of her ever-present brain.

What the fuck is it that you want?

Turning off the lights and leaving the main house, she doesn’t know who her internal question is aimed at: Javi or herself.

Plip. Plip. Plop. Splish. Splish.

Eva comes to in a curled-up position, the bed wet and cold around her, her body chilled. Wrapping her arms around herself, she slowly blinks her eyes open to see where the sound of water dripping around her comes from. Turns out, it comes from everywhere around here.

The roof’s leaking, and the bed is soaked. It’s a wonder that she didn’t wake up earlier. Then again, last night was a late one. Swinging her legs over the edge of the bed and grunting in discomfort when her feet hit the wet floor, Eva closes her eyes and counts to ten.

”Takes a lickin’, keeps on tickin’,” she reminds herself before reaching for her flannel shirt. She hustles around the cabin, gathering pots and basins to catch the leaks with while also loading firewood and torn newspaper pages into the stove. A fire won’t fix the roof but it’ll kill some of the dampness.

There’s a knock on the door. The sound of rain grows clearer when she opens.

”Damp this morning, ain’t it?” Javier’s lips are turned up towards his mustache in a wry grin when he delivers the teasing words.

”I’ve had worse,” Eva shrugs, unwilling to let him know her discomfort. But Javier’s not easily fooled.

”I’m sure you have, but there’s no reason to stay here and be uncomfortable.”

”I’m fine.”

”For fuck’s sake, woman, just get your ass out of this crap shack and come to the house!”

She glowers at him for a moment before agreeing, secretly grateful about the offer. Something tells her that Javier has waited for the day he can invite her into the house without the risk of it being interpreted as something else, something more. Now that he finally can ask her, under the guise of escaping her wet lodgings, she’s pretty sure there is something more. And she doesn’t mind. After last night, she wants there to be.

She throws most of her things into her duffel bag, leaving the rest for later. Soon after, she’s back in the room where John Travolta smiles down at her from the wall. Sighing a little, Eva consciously avoids to meet the actor’s papery stare as she digs up her toiletry bag and goes to the bathroom. A long, hot shower later, she’s once again warm and comfortable, and when she enters the kitchen, Chucho is portioning out fried eggs and toast to the overnight guests who are flocking to the kitchen, like cattle to a feeding.

”Buenos días,” he greets her, to which she responds in kind. ”You settled in okay?”

”Yeah, thanks. I appreciate it.”

”Sure. We’ll clean out some of Lana’s old stuff on the weekend, give you more room.”

”Don’t go through any trouble for me, I’m just happy to be dry.”

Chucho places a mug of steaming hot coffee in front of her.

”It’s no trouble. Should’ve done it a long time ago but it’s so easy to just ignore.”

Breakfast is a quieter affair than last night’s dinner, but the silence is comfortable and warm. The food gets eaten, the coffee drunk, and before long, the crew is out again in the rain, heading to the stable to saddle up.

///

The ground, having been parched for so long, is unable to swallow the amounts of water coming down, and turns muddy. The thousands of cloven hooves trampling the dry grass creates a muddy, uneven foundation. Javier’s happy he’s not needed with the round-up. It’s enough that he has to bring lunch and squelch around in the mud while the others eat, sitting in relative dryness under a tarp that Javi draped over the scaffolding on the truck bed.

“Damp, was it you said?” Eva remarks to Javi as she gives the calf, which now follows her around, an apple. She grins under the cap of her hat at the calf’s greed. Javi wipes the soaked hair from his forehead and shakes his head.

“What did I tell you about that animal?” he counters. Eva scratches the calf’s chin.

“Her name is Dolly.”

“You know that a name won’t stop it from being slaughtered, right?” Chucho asks her calmly, but Javi sees his dad’s eyes crinkle in the same fashion as they do when he smiles. Eva shrugs.

“Her ending up being slaughtered can’t stop me from trying to give her a good life, right?”

Chucho chuckles and empties his cup of coffee before pouring another one from the thermos.

“Besides, she has a couple of years,” Eva ends the exchange. “I’ll probably be gone before she is.”

Javi winces. He hasn’t even entertained the thought of Eva not staying at Big River. After the round-up it’s time to sort out bulling heifers, and breed them. By the end of the year, the calves from the last breeding season will be born. The work never ends. Her contribution and competence are sorely needed.

Her presence is sorely needed.

“We got a runner,” Pete comments, standing up from his half-seated recline against the truck bed. It takes Javi a few moments to realize he’s not talking about Eva.

A cow is strutting away on its own, pulling with it a few fellows. Eva sighs and lowers her sandwich.

“In the middle of lunch, of course.”

“I got it,” Javi offers, already on his way to the horses. He picks Pablo, just to try him out, and swings up in the saddle. He may not be the best ranch hand, or enjoy long days on horseback, but he has nothing against riding in itself, and does it fairly well.

“You sure?” Eva calls out, shoving Dolly out of the way as she follows him.

“I’m not totally useless, you know.” He’s only half kidding.

“Never thought you were,” she tells him in a voice so low he can hardly hear it over the rain. He nods at her before urging the horse after the runaways.

The rain is rendering him half blind – he didn’t bring a hat, foolishly enough – but he sees enough to maneuver Pablo after the renegades. Riding Pablo is a delight: it’s an intelligent animal, clearly used to the job, and seems to understand almost instinctively what Javi wants from it.

Horseshoes, however, numb the hooves, and lessens their natural feel for the ground. The mud makes Pablo slip and stumble. The horse remains upright but Javi is not prepared for the forward jolt, and flies off the horse. He lands heavily on his back, the air knocked out of him for a second, his right hip taking a hit that reverberates through his body. He gasps for oxygen for a few distressed seconds before finding it again. His hip smarts, making him groan in pain.

“Javi!”

He hears the approaching animals, their weight makes the ground boom, but he doesn’t really understand what it means until he hears first Eva, then the others shouting. The heavy footfalls of the animals seem to veer off, and Eva’s concerned face appears in his field of vision.

“You okay?” Javi can’t help but notice that there’s a slight tremble in her voice.

“Yeah,” he grunts, a little flustered at his disgraceful descent into the cold embrace of the mud. He sits up, unable to hold back another groan.

“Anything broken?”

“No, no, just a bruise.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.” He braces himself in order to rise up, when he sees Eva’s outstretched hand in front of him. He looks up at her, hesitates for a second, then takes it. She pulls him up to his feet like he weighs nothing.

“Thanks.” He averts his eyes, embarrassed about the whole ordeal. By now, Chucho has reached them.

“You okay, mijo?”

“Just fine, pop.” Javi’s forehead is knitted in chagrin. Not only did Eva see him fall off a horse like a kid, his father was there, along with Miguel, Pete, and Johnny. Miguel is leading Pablo back to the rest of the horses, the horse hanging its head as if in shame. The others are watching from a distance.

“And you,” Chucho turns to Eva. “What were you thinking, running at those cows like that?”

“They were going to trample him!”

“And if you hadn’t been able to stop them, they would’ve trampled you as well,” Chucho retorts. Javi knows his father: Chucho never raises his voice. Instead, his lined face furrows into deep canyons of disapproval while his eyes bore so deeply into yours that you feel like you’ll never recover. That is what he’s doing now, but Eva doesn’t budge. She stands tall, shoulders squared, eyes burning in the rain.

“I’m not going to stand by and watch when someone could die,” she tells him. Javi blinks the rain from his eyelashes, not sure he’s hearing right: Eva’s voice is absolutely composed but there’s definitely a base of desperation there. A regret.

He wonders who it was she was unable to save.

Chucho grunts, adjusts his hat, and turns to the others.

“We’ll call it a day.”

It's not until his father is walking away that Javi realizes that Eva is still holding his hand. He looks down at the joining of their palms, then up at her. There’s something skittish in her eyes, like a nervous rabbit trying to find its way out of a fenced garden.

Finally, she releases his hand, and walks back to the others. Slowly, Javi follows.

///

Taking care not to step down her heels too heavily, Eva crosses the dark hall – a three-step pilgrimage – to the closed door of Javier’s room. She doesn’t hesitate as she raises her hand and softly knocks. Maybe too softly? Does he even hear it, when the rain is still beating down on the roof? If he doesn’t hear it, will she try again or just give up and return to her room –

Javi opens almost immediately, as if he had been waiting for her. He stands there, dressed in a t-shirt and boxer briefs, lips slightly parted, staring at her with eyes darker than the night itself.

”Is this okay?” Eva asks, with a voice that knows it has lost, and welcomes the defeat. Javi reaches for her arm and pulls her in; he’s quicker and more forceful than she had anticipated, so she stumbles against him. He closes the door behind her and then she’s pressed up against it, Javi’s mouth crashing down on hers, his large hands moving down her sides and gripping her hips.

“Yes,” he breathes, and Eva wraps one arm around his neck as she kisses him back, her other hand landing on his chest.

His pulse is an abundance against the palm of her hand. She only later realizes that the thumping originates from her heart as much as his.

[semischarmed]

Detour, Part 4

Given your previous declaration of your intent to wear his skin, you release a bit of your hold over him to see his reaction. Scott, apparently unfazed, looks to the distance, no doubt planning an escape route. The guy isn’t stupid, so you try to make out his gameplan. You catch the briefest glimpse he takes of the patch of skin where the medallion used to be and you are immediately reminded of the moment of lost control of him in your possession of Alex. ‘Motherfucker. Of course he had a plan’. Despite the risk, you decide to proceed. Scott may have that bod, and his steel will, but that pales in comparison to the years of lust and envy brewing in you. ‘Fuck it, worse case scenario we accidentally give this egomaniac god-like power. What could go wrong? Might as well fuck with him a little’.

You mess with your body’s vocal cords to make sure both your old voice and Alex’s speak. With a unified moan you state “I can’t wait to take a Scottie joyride”. 

You say your part to Scott. “You know, even with how much of an asshole you were back then, I always masturbated , every night, to the fantasy of that thick horse dick ravaging me and shuddering inside my little body.” You chuckle. “Who could have known that in just a few short years, we could both be masturbating that thick horse dick together, to the reality of my little body shuddering inside you.”

Alex adds: “I’ve always wondered what it would feel like, moving around in that tower of muscle”. You lick your lips. “Besides, you have some pretty yoked friends, Scott. Well, since we’re gonna be parading your skin around, we have some pretty yoked friends. We can’t wait to use you, to use that thick horse dick of yours, to cum inside them, to inject them with a little Alex. But don’t worry, even when we get sick of wearing you, we’ll never really leave. We’re gonna fill you in so deep, you’ll never fully get us out. You’re gonna be our little Scottie fuck doll till the day you die.”

With Alex still in the driver’s seat, you walk toward your best friend. He makes you rub your chest a little. “The truth is, Scottie, he feels amazing inside me. I love him in here and I know he’s here to sta-ayy” Alex moans a little “God I love being his puppet. I can feel his strings all inside me, worming into me, slipping, writhing, controlling me.” The Alex-y you makes you show Scott your right hand for effect, which starts spasming unnaturally before you make a quick, veined fist. You chuckle at this attempt to scare him into submission but then begin to ponder if it would actually be possible to transform your entire body that way for the possession. You and Alex strip naked. You then start masturbating your shared body right in front of Scott, as he looks away in revulsion at the sight of his corrupted best friend furiously beating his meat. “Thank you for helping me find my soulmate Scott- well, my soul master. I can’t wait for my little strings to become your little strings” he pouts “Cmon Scott. You’re so cute when you’re angry.” “Hate me Scott! Hate your best friend! Hate the faggot from high school that’s inside him! I want you livid when we fill you up. I want you boiling. Your anger really gets me going. When we pilot you around, I’m gonna make you watch. I’m gonna make you watch the new faggot Scott, faggot you corrupting and controlling your own friends!“ When you finally release, you bring a little to your mouth for inspection.

“We taste even better than expected” you say, breathless, half moaning, “here try some.” you scoop up the rest and try to push it to Scott, who quickly turns to the side. It smears his cheek instead.

You lean your face right in front of Scott’s- till your foreheads touch- and run your Alex-y fingers gently through his sweaty hair. You take a deep inhale from you position. Subtle, musky, another scent you just can’t quite place, it’s altogether manly. He smells uniquely Scotty. You can’t wait till you also smell uniquely Scotty. You rest all of your sweaty naked body right on top of Scott, still facing him. He winces slightly at the additional weight.

“Get the fuck off me!”

Scott spits right at your face. You take a little taste. ”MMhmmmmmm, I cant wait to have all that running inside me, even your spit tastes good”. He grimaces in disgust. Using your power to mentally restrain his movements, you grab his neck and give it a squeeze to force his mouth open. You scoop the bit of the Alex cum on his cheek into his now gaping maw with your thumb. You corral the spit on your face earlier into your mouth and mix it with your own, which you spit back right at his mouth. “Here’s a little primer for what we’ll taste like when we become one” you say with a dirty wink. With your powers, you force him to swallow your new “together” potion. 

“You were always the grand prize“ you say, while you trace your fingers all over your soon-to-be body. “After I let you sell your friend out, did you really think I’d just leave you after that. This new me, Alex, he was just a little detour. How could I know he’d be this into it,” You run your fingers through your hair, “but, in the end, I have to thank you. We were important little detour because- [moan] he completes me” Alex delicately guides your fingers around Scott’s nipples. You tug on them to bring his sweaty chest to yours and in your dark embrace you whisper seductively in his ear “You’ll complete us too....” Scott shudders and you moan in fake disappointment, “you’re such a greedy little asshole, you know, you can’t keep all that man to yourself. We wanna have fun too. We can’t wait to get inside that Scottie party.”

With your newfound powers, you start liquefying parts of yourself, as scott watches in horror. You start with the arm- naked, pungent, sweaty skin become a noxious, sticky, amorphous mass. It’s a horrific sight, for sure, but it becomes even more horrific to Scott when you will your newly created slime to start moving. You make sure to give him a close up of the wriggling stringy fibers of yourself inside the goo.

At this point, Scott really starts panicking.

“Look man, I’m sorry! I know I shouldn’t have been such a piece of shit to you in High School. Please! Cmon! You already have Alex.” Son of a bitch! You knew it! Of course he still remembers you!

Caught and preoccupied in your transformation, Scott finds the power to push you off him several feet back. Adrenaline, no doubt, but the man is also pure muscle, so it’s no surprise. “Get the fuck off me! Don’t fucking go near me, you creep!”

“Oh Scott”, you moan his name in a mocking tone. “You are such a great friend. Give me a hug”. Slimy tendrils from your body shoot out force Scott back to your sweaty embrace. You shove your pits at his face. “Mmmmphh!” he shouts in disgust and nausea. You take another deep whiff of his sweaty chest and armpits. Intoxicatingly musky, and again, uniquely Scotty. “When I’m inside you, I’m gonna make you stinky like me” you laugh “we’re gonna smell great together. We’re gonna feel great together. And to your friends? We’re gonna taste great together,“ you exhale, as you lick your thick Alex-y lips and smile an out of place angelic smile.

“You’re never gonna fucking take me, asshole!” He shouts.

You ignore him as you continue your little monologue and start slithering in some of your fleshy mass into his mouth. “And don’t worry,” an unholy harmony of your old voice and Alex’s voice says, “We forgive you for high school. Well.... “. You now moan with a mix your old voice and some new borrowed Scott vocals that your parts have already claimed. “You’ll forgive you.” You now lodge his throat full of you as your liquid tendrils greedily rush down his throat. You want to give Scott the complete experience, so more of your slimy tendrils snake through his biceps and pits, around his vascular back and throat and start jamming straight into his asshole. He moans involuntarily as he feels your wriggling mass pass the g-spot into his prime real estate. As odd as it sounds coming out of him, he even sounds alpha when he moans. You make sure to keep this area stimulated, since you can no longer restrain his body mentally. To complete his Alex infestation, you start pumping his cock to loosen a passage for yourself and then feed more slime into his piss slit. This particular action causes his mouth to open even wider than before, which you use to stuff even more slime inside. 

Despite the raw pleasure he’s in and despite your mass still continually flowing into him, Scott stands and takes shaky steps toward the door. That iron will always did turn you on. You can’t wait to make it yours. You double your speed, and start writhing and twisting erratically as you continue to flow in. When it becomes clear that he is determined to continue, you start streaming into any entryway you can find. Every orifice, every hole in his body- even some small cuts he had on his arm- are flooded with your liquid. His towering form finally falls to the ground, unconscious from the effort he expended, while the last parts of you slip inside.

When Scott wakes, he immediately straightens up. He’s impossibly full, filled to the brim with you inside him, still squirming, slipping through his body parts rhythmically. A little dribbling of yourself spills out and oozes out of his mouth, but you quickly force it back inside him before he reach for it. He needs to take all of you. 

Your future face contorts into one of pain and struggle until it settles in into a scornful, hateful, contempt. ‘How much energy does this guy fucking have?’ you think in panic, as Scott roars and in one fell swoop, flexes all the thick muscles in his body to subjugate your mass. He still looks a little bloated, but the squirming inside him stops. He smirks as feels your powers flow through him. He investigates himself and the new control he has over body parts. He flexes his arms as he starts willing parts of his body to expand and constrict on command. Scott walks up to his mirror. “I told you you couldn’t fucking take me” he says with a smirk. If Alex was a sports car, sleek and smooth, Scott would be a fucking truck, and a massive one at that. The man exudes raw power so it’s no wonder you’re struggling reining him in. Before all hope is fully lost, you feel a spark in you.

“You’re right” Scott’s voice states, unprompted. The squirming and wriggling inside him starts up again and his eyes roll back. “It’s a good thing he took a little detour taking and corrupting my tight piece of ass,” Scott moans uncharacteristically. Scott’s beefy arms start fidgeting uncontrollably “because this...little Alex puppet is... gonna show his best friend how to be a little good meat-suit for his new m-master” he forces through Scott’s vocal cords. Scott’s whole body is now trembling uncontrollably. The writhing inside him has started up again, though this time far more energetic. It was coming from everywhere. He feels his fingers, his legs constrict and relax unnaturally. He screams as his body starts scratching himself everywhere erratically and convulsing, trying to get you out. But you’re in too deep. You’re in his veins, in his muscles, in every fiber of his being. Arms still twitching from the control Alex demands, Scott starts involuntarily pumping his meat. “FUUUUUuuuuCK!!!” he roars in his mix of ecstasy and struggle, before everything in him stops.

----------

Scott sits, unexpressive, motionless. Then, a bit of movement. The corners of his lips stretch slightly and upward into a deranged smile. You twist his nipples hard and do another uncharacteristic moan in amazement. Goddamn he’s sensitive. Raw ecstasy decorates his face- your face as you begin to explore the rest of you. You reward his body for yielding to you by finishing the job you started earlier and continue pumping his meat. You release in a maelstrom. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. In the midst of your orgasm, you feel your body puff and expand massively, impossibly, taut, as deep inside Scott you integrate the core of your being into him fully. You subjugate your new muscles and skin around yourself and force them to re-constrict around their new owner. Tighter. Tighter. You feel his muscles from inside him as you pull them ever tighter until the invisible barrier between you two tears and his hunky form coalesces into you. The Alex part of you forces Scott to smile through the process of his own takeover. “AAAARRRGGH!” Scott screams in one last shout of defiance as your insides and his finally become one. 

Your eyes go wide and start fluttering while you lick yourself clean. ‘mmmmmm fuck’ Of course it tastes fucking amazing, every piece of the new you is amazing. You flex your first of many trademark “he’s the shit-and he knows it-Scotty sneers,” this new face of yours exactly reflecting one you’ve seen a thousand times in high school torment. A face that Alex had never seen until now, on account of being his best friend. Finally, fully, Scott is yours. 

Then his vitality hits. Fuck. Pure power!! “MIIINE” You scream with your new vocal cords as you start punching the air with your power. You adopt a boxer’s stance and- left hook. Right hook. Fuck. With each strike you can feel your own force as this new body executes your every whim. “MIIIINE!” Raw testosterone, raw power. Goddamn. You rush over and start punching and slamming your new beefy hands on the floor maniacally, reveling in finally feeling what it must have felt like in high school from the other side. “MIIINE!” This new jock body is limitless. You run a sweaty hand on his dick, and unsurprisingly it hardens instantly on command. You furiously start masturbating again in a frenzy, if only to release some of his pent up power. “Mine.” As Scott, you have ascended. In Scott, you are a god. With this body, with this soul, you can do anything you fucking want.

You piece together an outfit out of the clothes strewn about the apartment: Alex’s dirty used underwear and his old shirt, which fit impossibly tight on you. Alex always did like to keep things a little tighter than they should be- well, he is you, so you do too and now Scott does as well. You slip your new vascular legs through Scott’s skinniest pair of jeans and your new beast arms through his leather jacket. You‘ve always fancied Alex-your scent so you want to make sure you imprint it into this Scott-bod you now have. Then again, people have pretty unique scents. With you inside Scott, you’re fairly certain this new Scott naturally emanates a noxious combination of both their scents. You don’t put any cologne or deodorant on- why would you ever try to diminish this proof of your dominance over their bodies. 

You check yourself in the mirror and give your nipples one delightful final little twist, your run your fingers through your hair, and give your new self one hell of a Scottie smile before you step out into the world, a new man henceforth.

-End Part 4- 

Whew, what a ride. Hope y’all had fun. Not really sure where else I could take this so this is the final part for now.

[wonderwomanfantasy]

Internet Hottie

I have no clue what made this fic pop off the way it did but here you go a part two 

part one

Enji Todoroki x Camgirl!Reader

warnings: smut, Sex work, cam show, masturbation, cum play, sugar daddy themes, black mail(ish), size kink, dd/lg, 

word count: 3,000 (about)

summary: Enji is more than willing to pay the price of a private show if it means he gets to see how cute you are when you moan his name again, little does he know having the real deal right in fornt of him is only a chace encounter away.  

“You know most people turn on their cameras for private shows, let me see you too,” you teased slowly running your hands over your arms feeling the fabric of the soft pink cardigin, raising it back up over your bare sholder. 

Normally you were a little more careful with accepting private shows, but this pertuclar intrested you. You saw his username pop up almost every show, and he paid a lot of money too, but he never commented, normally guys that finatical about your shows would at least comment hello, or something nasty to get your attention. Not him though. So you were a little curious what exactly he was into, besides, you knew this one wasn’t going to skimp on the payment. 

You had approved his request in just a few hours, even if you were still sore from the Endevour toy you’d ridden earler tonight, it wouldn’t kill you to do a little more tonight. You’d just have to makeup some excuse about pulling a muscule picking up heavy boxes or something to your day job.

what if I don’t want to show my face?

The message poped up on screen making you laugh. “ah you think I want to see your face handsome? I’m after something a little lower actually,” you teased. 

Suddenly the camera of the mistery man flashed on the cammera pointed at his  crotch. You gasped seeing him. He was naked, which wasn’t supprising. but his cock. good lord his cock was huge, bigger than any toy you had, thick around the base with a flushed head such a dark shade of red it was almost purple. his testicles were heavy-looking rested against his thighs wich were easily bigger than your head and coated with corse red hairs. 

Are you just going to gape at me? 

anouther message to distract you. You snapped your mouth shut and regained your compouser. you were the star here he was the fanboy you couldn’t let the dynamic shift. 

“I’ll have you know most guys have to pay good money for me to ogel at their cocks like that, I’m a pretty girl you should feel honored, Do you have like a horse quirk or something?”

I am paying good moeny

fuck. you were still to distracted to come up with anything good. “you can unmute yourself, I want to see if there is a pretty voice to match that goregous cock,” you purred changing the subject. Hopefully, his voice was high pitched or annoying so you could stop drooling over him

No

“you’re no fun,” you pouted. 

Are you always such a brat?

That made you smile, You were getting on his nerves. good. you batted your eye lashes and covered your face with your hand, pretending to be embaressed. “Sorry daddy, I didn’t mean to misbehave what was it you wanted me to do again?”

Enji fidgeted trying to get comfortable in his office chair, painfully aware you could see his smallest movements. your eyes trained on the computer screen, this was far too exposing for his tastes, he didn’t know how you could stoumach thousands of people looking at you like this. 

But it was thrilling knowing that it was his cock that made you go completley silent for a few moments. It was his cock that you couldn’t take your eyes off of, maybe that’s what spurred you on. Then againt the moeny didn’t hurt either. 

You were so pretty, and soft as ever in a too large pink sweater that kept slipping off one shoulder almost revealing your bare breasts but never doing so fully. 

you settled on your knees and lifted the sweater up for him to see the soft skin of your upper thighs and your soft gray cotton panties. They were much less flashy than what you would normally where for a show but they were making Enji go feral.

It felt almost real, like you really were his little girl showing off your honyed cunt just for him. he couldn’t help but wonder if those were the kind of panties you wore in your day to day life. God what he wouldn’t give to breath in the musk of your scent right now. 

“you’re cock is twitching so bad Daddy, why don’t you stroke it a little bit?” you prompted. It was true, his cock was painfully hard, begging to be touched, 

Are you trying to tell me what to do?

He snapped back and watched you flush and mess whith the hem of your sweater nervously.

“That’s not what I ment, I just wanted to see you touch yourself,” you mumbled. He decided to appease you, he reached down wrapping one large hand around the base of his cock squeezing and causing precum to oze out the top before dibbling down his inflamed head. Like a good girl you watched with wrapped attention as he bobed his hand up and down easing some of the tension in his gut.

“you’re cock is so big, I don’t know if I could fit both of my hands around it,” you breathed

Who’s camming for who here? he typed 

“Right! Sorry! what do you want me to do,” It was cute how egar you were to please

take out the Endevour toy and start jerking it off

Your eyes went wide “you aren’t going to make me ride it again are you?” He smiled to himself, where you scared of him? Scared about how much his cock was going to hurt as it ripped through you?

Just jerk it off for now and tell me how good it felt while it was inside of you. 

Obedently you centered the toy in front of you and wrapped both your hands around the length slowly working your hands up and down, matching his pace, your small hands could wrap around the tip just fine but parted towards the thicker middle. 

“It hurt a lot-” you admited. “-but it was so big it hit all the spots inside of me at once with out even trying, I’m supprised I didn’t squirt it kept hitting my G-spot over and over again. You can’t really see it but theres this vein right at the bottom that bumps my clit when I put it inside,” you described while Enji contuied to touch himself. 

From this angel he could see clear down your top, he didn’t know if it was intentional or not but he  could see your soft tits bounce and shift with each of your movements and it was hard to focus on anything else

Take off your panties

you pulled away from the toy and slid the soft gray fabric down your thighs. You crossed your legs blocking your soft pussy from veiw. He grunted with agrivation. 

show me

“show you what? can’t you see all of me?” you asked sweetly. 

show me your pussy or I’ll leave

“don’t leave,” you begged, your eyes went wide and instantly your legs spread showing him your drooling pussy.

“slut,” he mumbled to himself. “you didn’t even bother cleaning up your sopping pussy in between shows,” he growled his hand moving faster as you slid your figners over your lips parting your folds for him to get a close look

Pretty. 

“Thank you? should I keep touching the toy or...”

hump it

You laid the Dildo down and carefully straddled it nessling it between your peach fuzz lips. You rested your hands on the bed and slowly started rocking back and forth, your clit rutting against the silicone veins.

How does it feel?

“I bet your cock would feel a lot better, Your cock is warm and moves, and if I was on your cock I get the rest of you. It feels good but at the end of the day plastic is plastic,” you sighed making his cock jump in his hand. it was hard to keep his composure like this. The image of you, real and in his arms slowly rolling your hips against his groin while you looked up at him with those perfect glittery eyes wasn’t helping

And what wold you do with ‘the rest of me’?

“I like kissing,” you muttered, the innocent answer almost took him by surprise. 

“but I also think your hands are pretty big, I’d want you to finger me- or you know,”

I don’t know spell it out for me.

“choke me,” you admited. suddenly the fantasy in Enji’s mind dhifted, now you were grinding on his cock with tear filled eyes while he cut of your breathing, his tounge forcing it’s way into your mouth, fuck he wanted to taste you so bad. You had stated clearly and many times that you didn’t do in person meet ups, even if it was just for a date, but there was a chace you’d do it for the right price, and he was willing to pay any number you named right at that moment. 

He pulled away from his cock at the last moment to keep himself from cumming too soon. again. His prick flowndered for a moment, searching for friction. you whinned losing your own personal show, but you kept riding the toy like a good obedent little slut.

Cum for me. then show me the mess you make. 

You panted and started rutting your hips faster, your eyes glazing over as you chased your release, your mouth formed an O shape and a breathy moan fell from your parted lips as you came. you stayed there for a moment, gathering yourself agian before sitting back and puling up the sweater so he could see the transperent slick coating your thighs and sex. 

play with your clit. 

you whimpered and reached down between your legs stroking the sensitive bud causing your legs too twitch. must be hard on your poor pussy, going through three orgasums in one night. 

He leaned closer, so close his warm breath fogged the computer screen and started fisting his cock again. he really did feel like a teenager, one finding poor for the first time and revleing in that unique voyerisum. It wasn’t long until his own cum was splattering his chest, again. 

You watched as it happened with open facination. almost like you’d never seen someone cum so much before. Enji wouldn’t be supprised if he had a more semen than the average man, He was glad to have impressed you. 

Leaving was far more awkward than in a live show, you didn’t just decide to close the streem instead he told you he was finished, paid his tab and left the call. 

Enji grunted seeing the time. He had spent far to mch time toying with you tonight, there would be hell to pay tomorrow morning when he’d missed out on so much valuable sleep. 

It had been a week and he hadn’t tried contacting you again. Not becuase he hadn’t wanted to, he had just been too busy to even entertain the notion of anouther private show. 

But today was Wednesday which meant not only did he get off of work early today but also, you would be streaming tonight and he could blow off some steam. Just one more meeting with Hawks and he was free. 

Endevour turned the corner heading twards his office when he froze. A familiar frame caught his attention. He trailed his eyes over your form. completely different from what he was used to seeing you in, you were dressed smartly in a black suit and skirt ensemble with sensible black pumps. your hair neatly slicked back from your face. but there was no denying you were the same person. 

he watched your knock once on the door before entering. Through the widnow he saw you cross to where Hawks was sitting and hand him a cup of coffee. He had known Keigo was bringing his pa, a woman endevour had never met before, but he should have mentioned his personal assistant was a fucking cam girl. No wonder your schedual matched his so neetly, you were running on hero time. 

Enji squared his shoulders and marched in. there was no way you would recognize him. He would stay proffecinoal and do his best to imagine you with clothes on. 

“Here, keigo, four cream and seventeen sugars just how you like it,” you said handing your boss his redicoulous coffee order. he smiled and took a sip

“Thanks babe, perfect as always,” he cooed happily and you took a seat beside him waiting for Enedevour to arive. 

“those things are going to kill you some day,” you commented watching him take anouther sip of coffee.

“I highly doubt the sugar is going to kill me before the bad guys do,” he teased then the door slamed open and the man of the hour walked in. 

“Do you always barge into people’s offices like you own the place Hawks?” Endevour growled before sitting at his desk. You tried not to stare and be unprofessional but it was hard not to. He was just so big, his bulging muscles showed even under his clothes. You thought to last weeks live when you had used the toy themed after him and how sore you were after that. you were right, if you ever fucked him he’d brake you. 

“not my fault you were late,” hawks shrugged. The older man glared, he looked about ready to hit your boss. an understandable feeling.

“whatever, lets get started. The-” Just as endevour began to speak Hawks’s phone rang. His work phone. He jumped and answered. 

“sorry I have to run- (y/n) rescedual for me? maybe something tonight? yeah okay bye,” then he was gone. you sighed and turned to Endevour, who looked as pissed as ever. 

“I’m sorry about that, but I’m sure you understand duty calls,” you apologized bowing slightly. 

“Is he like this with everyone or does he enjoy annoying me particularly?” he asked making you laugh lightly. 

“I think he likes to get under your skin, you should feel speical,” He was supprisingly fun to tease, you wouldn’t dare needle him the way you did Keigo but it wouldn’t hurt to rib him a little bit. 

“A meeting later tonight won’t work for me,” he stated, knowing that you couldn’t make it either. If you had been planing on cancling the live he would have gotten the notifcation by now. you smiled polietly and nodded. 

“okay let me check when we’ll be avalable again,” you said relaxing in the chait, before he could ask what you were doing, your eyes turned completley white, the iris and the puple both clouding over with a milky film. 

“this friday at nine pm, does that work?” you asked, your eyes turning back to normal.  Could you really see hawks’s full scedual in your mind? what a useful quirk. He wondered if he could buy you out, although it was a dangerous game if you worked for him. neither of you would get much done that way. 

“is there anything else I can do for you, Sir?” you asked, standing and smoothing out your skirt. 

“yes atcually, I have a couple questions for you,”

“I’ll do my best to answer,” 

“Does Keigo know he hired a porn star?” 

Your breath caught in oyur throat and you almost choked. You’d been recognized in public before, but never by someone with status, no one who knew about your day job. 

“He does,” you answered supprised at how calm you sonded. you just had to breath and remeber. You were star here, Endevour was just another creep who watched you. The thought of Endevour watching you while you made yourself cum sent a jolt through your body.

“if I’m not mistaken, he’s even watched a few of my shows,” you added just to gage his reaction. It had been legally required of you to disclose any other sorces of income you had, Hawks had just laughed it off and assured you that it wasn’t a big deal, after threatening to subscribe to your OnlyFans that was. A threat he’d never followed through on. 

“did he see the show where you screamed my name while fucking yourself?” Endevour asked standing casually and crossing over to the office door. one by one he drew the shudderes. Meaning no one could see into the office. your heart was hammering now, as you guessed where this was going. 

“And what if the public knew that the woman behind the number two hero was secretly showing off her pussy for the whole world to see? what then?”

then you would lose your job you thought but instead you called his bluff. 

“It would be a scandel I’m sure but it would be easily smoothed over, Hawks fans are younger more progressive, he’d probably get a lot of praise if he openly supported sex work and gave an interview where he talked about how he respects my bodly autonimy and my intlect.” you said with false confidence. in reality you knew the commision would rather throw you to the wolves than let you keep your job, but maybe Endevour didn’t know how disposable you really where. 

“it would be another sotry if say, your fans found out you were watching my videos.” you said. he raised an eyebrow at you

“how so?”

“You’re audience is a lot older, more consrvative the’d be horifed at the thought,” you explained. 

“To me it sounds like you’re lying,” Endevour said crossing over to you He lifted you up by the waist seting you down on his desk his harge arms caging you in. 

“it souds to me like we both have pretty good reasons to keep quiet, the only question is what are you willing to give to buy my silence?” he purred reaching out and undoing the butons of your blazer, slipping the jacket off of your shoulders. His skin was so warm, his breath was beating down your neck. His eyes freezing you in place. you could barley speak he was so close. 

“how about a private show?”

[crybabykiko]

I'm not sure if u take requests but if u do could u write a NSFW alphabet for Issei?¿ ♡

So lemme tell you something- I got this req and the first thing that came out of my mouth was BIIIIIIIIITTTTCCCCHHHHHH

And I proceeded to scream cry and yell about this for idk how long. I put so much thought into this- I literally wrote it in almost one night completely. I have SO much to say about this man. My Issei brainrot is only fueled by my stupid horny Pisces brain- WHICH HE ALSO HAS god bless him. Anyway enough about me this turned my mind into soup and it all fell out of my ears enjoy ur fucking horse cock

NSFW Alphabet- Matsukawa Issei

No thoughts head he. 😌

gn!reader focused, obviously nsfw....

𝕬 - 𝕬𝖋𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖊

Best Service Dom. Best Dom EVER. Anything you want you get, you have to only say the words. Food? Already ordered so it would be there by the time you finished. Cuddles? His arms are wide open and his body is very warm. Sit in a bubble bath and scroll through your favorite online stores? The bath is nice and warm and his credit card is at your disposal. He takes amazing care of you, and will stop at nothing to make you feel secure/safe/happy at all times..

𝕭 - 𝕭𝖔𝖉𝖞 𝕻𝖆𝖗𝖙

Welll…. I… we all know what it is. I’ll explain more later but in addition to that he also has the most amazing arms/abs. He’s very lean, definitely naturally so. Doesn’t need to work out but does so anyway keep toned.

𝕮 - 𝕮𝖚𝖒

Likes to cum inside you, but simply so that he can watch it ooze out of your hole. Sometimes he’ll even keep fucking you after he’s finished to see himself push it back in even after it’s out.

𝕯 - 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕾𝖊𝖈𝖗𝖊𝖙

I hate adding this but he has a foot fetish. Not like a hardcore creepy kind of foot fetish- he just likes to suck a toe here and there. But only if they’re freshly pedicured… he’s very picky. He’ll give foot massages all the time tho if you ask him. He just never tells anyone about it because he knows his friends will clown him.

Not ur foot but close enough he would get you one of those little golden name anklets and kiss it every time he lifts your leg over his shoulder. 👀🦋

𝕰 - 𝕰𝖝𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖈𝖊

Absolutely. He’s done a lot in his life, and is not short on any stories of past encounters. He is kind of a sex encyclopedia, but he’s very casual about it. If you bri bc up something you wanna try, 11/10 times he’s going to not only have done it, but be able to suggest ways for you to make it better- with several anecdotes.

𝕱 - 𝕱𝖆𝖛𝖔𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖊 𝕻𝖔𝖘𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

Doesn’t just like doggy- it is his lifeblood. It’s easier for him to control your movements while also making sure that he can bury himself all the way inside. He can have a vice grip on your hips one moment, his fists full of your hair the next- and if he starts spanking you well… that’s between you two and god.

He does like plain old missionary too, but only bc he can see himself in your tummy.

𝕲 - 𝕲𝖔𝖔𝖋𝖞

It makes him laugh sometimes when you struggle to take him all at once. He thinks it cute that you try, but it’s hilarious how big your head gets sometimes. He has to fuck you dumb and remind you that you can’t do that.

𝕳 - 𝕳𝖆𝖎𝖗

Trims, but not super short. He does wax his happy trail tho bc it makes him self-conscious.

𝕴 - 𝕴𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖆𝖈𝖞

Can actually be very romantic if he wants to. He is a Pisces, after all. He does enjoy foreplay and the sensuality of that to get you prepped, and he takes extra care to make sure you’re fully ready. He is going to be hard on you, but understands that he has to take good care of you, and he does

𝕵 - 𝕵𝖆𝖈𝖐 𝕺𝖋𝖋

Daily. At least once. It keeps the stress away and livens his mood. He does it as soon as he wakes up, and then if he’s having a really hard day or difficulty sleeping, he can do it to ease his nerves.

𝕶 - 𝕶𝖎𝖓𝖐

Size, obvious because everyone is smaller than him Skdkfkf he’s a giant. He’s 6’2 and his cock is at least 3 feet of that.

Daddy Kink, self explanatory mostly. It’s just so fucking sweet on his ears, his baby cooing for their daddy, trying so hard to work his entire cock into their tiny hole, trying to be so good for him… he loses it every time.

Voyeurism, likes watching you touch yourself. He finds it amusing how you think you can get yourself there without his help. You both know that’s impossible, but it turns him on to see you try.

Praise, again- he loves to make you feel special. And you work so hard fitting all of him inside, he has to tell you how good of a job you’re doing, especially because he’s appreciative of you letting him impale you. He has to let you know.

Mutual Masturbation, Kinda goes with voyeurism. If you’re away from each other, you’re definitely going to have sex via FaceTime- he just wants to see you, and also wants you to see him. To him, it lets you know you’re the only one that can get him there, and that your presence alone- even if he’s not touching you, is more than enough.

Lingerie, Loves nothing more than seeing you all pretty for him. He also just really likes the feeling of lace or silk against his fingertips He can get out of control and rip your sets tho- but don’t worry, death is a very lucrative business- He will buy you several replacements.

𝕷 - 𝕷𝖔𝖈𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

LOVES car sex. If the mood strikes, he WILL pull over. But really, he’ll take it wherever he can get it.

𝕸 - 𝕸𝖔𝖙𝖎𝖛𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

He’s very eager to please. A little lazy, yes, but at his core he wants to make sure you’re feeling good.

𝕹 - 𝕹𝖔!

He has done literally everything at least once and the one thing he just can’t get into is piss. One bad experience and a 3 month uti later he’s sworn off it for good.

𝕺 - 𝕺𝖗𝖆𝖑

Not his favorite. He could honestly go with or without it personally, just because there’s so much of him. But he will happily fuck your throat if you want him to, and will go down on you for hours to make sure you’re truly prepped. For someone who’s not a big fan of it, he’s actually AMAZING with his mouth. It’s lazy but in the best way possible.

𝕻 - 𝕻𝖆𝖈𝖊

Starts off slow so you’re good to go, but will pick up the pace as you stretch out. He does enjoy a few slow deep thrusts in between drilling you into oblivion tho. He never tries to make your guts into a smoothie on purpose, it just kinda happens that way.

𝕼 - 𝕼𝖚𝖎𝖈𝖐𝖎𝖊

He will never say no to quickie. The amount of fast food bathrooms and abandoned parking lots you’ve seen is astronomical. The amount of times Makki has kicked you out of his apartment for trying something while he goes to the bathroom is even higher.

𝕽 - 𝕽𝖎𝖘𝖐

He's the classic degen. bf who reaches across the table at the same time as your dad when you go “daddy can you pass the salt?”

So yes, he’s definitely going to tease you under a table at thanksgiving dinner.

He’s really going to have you whenever he wants- even if it comes at the expense of your pride/morals sometimes.

𝕾 - 𝕾𝖙𝖆𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖆

Can go on forever if you let him. Will overstim you to hell and back before he even thinks about cumming. Doesn’t even know he’s doing it- he’s so used to fucking you brainless that he doesn’t realize it’s too much. But he is SUPER apologetic about it and will make sure to treat you extra carefully.

𝕿 - 𝕿𝖔𝖞

He actually has a few for when he’s feeling lazy. He used to run through fleshlights like they were tictacs but he’s since finally found one that he won’t break.

He got most of them for free because he worked in a sex shop during college- he was very popular.

𝖀 - 𝖀𝖓𝖋𝖆𝖎𝖗

Yes. He will 100% rile you up with touches that seem innocent enough in nature, but are a tad bit too low, or linger on for a bit too long.

Will also give you “the look” in public and pretend he doesn’t know what you’re talking about- he definitely does.

𝖁 - 𝖁𝖔𝖑𝖚𝖒𝖊

Vocal in bed, especially with praise. Will constantly tell you how good you’re doing or how good you feel. Doesn’t moan a lot, but they slip out from time to time. Instead it’s a lot of deep breaths, groans, and curses.

𝖂 - 𝖂𝖎𝖑𝖉𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖉

If mortuary school hadn’t have worked out, he and Makki were going to start their own porn company. They actually have a very solid business plan. They made a pact to sit on it for now, since Issei is working at the funeral home.

𝖃 - 𝖃-𝕽𝖆𝖞

LMFAOOOOO

Literally a foot long. Longer actually. I’m going to honestly say 13. No I won’t take it back. Perfect thickness too. Honestly it’s like… god really took his time and got it fucking right. Everything about his physique is perfect- it would only make sense his cock is that perfect to match. Color is even all around, the head is bubblegum pink. There’s also one very prominent vein on the underside, and a few tinier trails of veins on the top. The statue of David? Don’t know her. Only know the statue of Issei.

𝖄 - 𝖄𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌

High sex drive, but he can keep it subdued if he has to. Especially because he knows he’s too much for most people. He's not shy about it though. Is CONSTANTLY horny on main. Not that you mind.

𝖅 - 𝖅𝖟𝖟

Service Dom through and through. He won’t sleep until you do, and even if he’s dead tired, he won’t sleep at all if you’re staying awake. He’s going to do everything to take care of you and your needs first. When you do sleep he likes to hold your head to his chest and will press his nose down into your hair so he can fall asleep surrounded by your scent.

Taglist Starseeds (check ur privacy settings if your url is in bold): @honey-makki @crushzone @yumekosgamblingroom @boujiesav @onesingleravioli @ushijimasfarmhat @trouvelle @nekoma-hoe @right-shoe-jpg @atsumusc0ck @ukaic @nivky0-0 @animoozies @charmarsmith

[miyanom]

NSFW ALPHABET (j.kirstein)

▸ masterlist

▸ warnings: 17+, fem!reader

▸ notes: bless @oblxvion’s beautiful brain for helping me out with some of these. anyways I swear I edited but if there’s mistakes that’s just me being blind and stressing abt posting this

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Jean is a king of aftercare. No matter what happens in the session, he’s so soft afterwards, helping you get cleaned up and then offering to get a drink or some food for you, or even just cuddles if that’s what you want.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On himself, Jean likes his hands for a variety of different reasons. But especially because of how quickly he can get you squirming beneath him with just his fingers.

On you, he loves your boobs, no matter how small or big. Even in a non-sexual way, he loves laying his head on your chest to rest.

He has a habit of leaving a trail of marks across your chest, and gets off on the fact that only he can do that.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically)

His preferred place to cum is inside you. It’s such an intimate thing, which is why he prefers it.

Plus the sight of his cum dripping out of you as he gently presses against your abdomen is enough to get him ready for another round.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

It’s not too much of a secret, but he loves seeing you brought to tears as you struggle to take his cock.

“Look at you princess, crying over my cock.”

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s not too experienced when it comes down to it, but he learns really fast! He’s very attentive, and can easily pick up on what makes you feel good and what doesn’t.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Missionary mostly, but Jean also loves cowgirl. He just likes positions where he can see your face, so he can see how much of a mess he’s making you, especially if you’re so fucked out that you’re on the verge of tears.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He’s fairly serious, but there are times where he won’t hesitate to crack a few jokes just to see you laugh before he starts pounding into you.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc)

He’s well groomed, as in he trims down there but isn’t completely hairless.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect...)

Sex with Jean is always intimate, he likes making you feel good.

He’s a giver, he just wants it to be all about you, and honestly wouldn’t mind spending hours in between your thighs if you let him.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Jean doesn’t tend to get himself off very often, why would he need to when he has you? But in times where the two of you can’t see each other, he’ll look to videos or pictures you’ve sent, imagining you’re there for him.

If you were to send videos where you’re touching yourself and begging for him, he swears he could cum right then and there.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Size kink: Now this doesn’t necessarily mean his height only, but he does enjoy that too. No but this also counts for his cock and how he enjoys watching you struggle to take him fully.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Majority of the time he likes to keep it private, anywhere around the house he doesn’t mind. But sometimes, when he just can’t help it, he might just pull you aside and try something if you’re comfortable with it.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Something that manages to turn him on without fail; seeing you wearing his clothes. There’s something about seeing you with one of his shirts that just awakens the possessive side of him, knowing no one else will get to feel that way about you.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Jean would never do anything that could really hurt you. He’s also not into anything involving bodily fluids except for cum.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

As I said earlier, Jean is a giver, and he’s good at it too! He could spend hours between your legs, coaxing orgasm after orgasm if you would let him.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and Sensual?)

He prefers things to slow and sensual, so he can really spend time focusing on you and your pleasure. But sometimes, especially if you two haven’t seen each other or done anything in awhile, things will be fast and rough.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions of quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc)

Jean likes quickies, but they don’t happen too often. And when they do, it’s typically him just making you fall apart on his fingers.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc)

He’s up to taking risks, but again, he would never do anything that could hurt you.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last)

Jean can last a few rounds, around 4 before tiring himself out! And he’s able to pull orgasm after orgasm from you before he finally chases his own release.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Before you two started dating, Jean didn’t own any toys. But after, he bought some just to use on you.

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

Overall, he’s a gentleman, he wants you to feel as good as you can. And bringing you as close to the edge as possible before pulling away, wanting to hear you beg for him before he finally gives you want you want, is all part of making you feel good.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He doesn’t care too much about being loud, and often groans or moans to let you know how you make him feel. He’s also constantly praising you, reminding you how good you are and how amazing you feel around him. He’s definitely got a praise kink.

W = Wild Card (A random headcanon)

While he’s definitely more on the dominant side, Jean is actually a switch — something he never willingly admits, but the blush spread across his face and the beautiful whines falling from his lips whenever you dom makes it obvious.

X = X-Ray (Lets see what’s going on in those pants)

Let’s just say the horse jokes definitely weren’t only about his face. About 7 inches, and on the thinner side.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Jean tends to have a pretty high sex drive when he’s not stressed out about something, he just wants to be feeling you up whenever he has the chance. But he would never pressure you into anything.

Z = ZZZ (How quickly do they fall asleep afterwards)

It takes him awhile to knock out after sex, his first priority is taking care of you after all. Jean also loves cuddling after sex, being able to hold you close and talk about whatever comes to mind until you fall asleep in his arms.

[mudhorn-djarin19]

Agent Whiskey - NSFW Alphabet

Figured why not share my own fics on here too haha. This here is my NSFW Alphabet for Agent Whiskey from Kingsman : The Golden Circle Rating: Mature/Explicity Warnings: smut, sex, piv sex, bondage (rope), dom/sub, praise kink, and oral sex Written with a x f!reader perspective Masterlist AO3 link. Join my taglist via here! My fics will be uploaded to AO3 first but I will try to remember to upload them here as well!

______ A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex) Jack is super caring afterwards. He makes sure to get you both cleaned up if any mess, makes sure you’re not injured in any way after usage of any toys and is super snuggly. He cuddles you in his arms and covers you in kisses, telling you how much he adores you until you both fall asleep. B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) Jack’s favorite body part of himself is obviously his cock. I mean have you seen the man? He radiates big dick and cocky energy lmao. To him it’s his greatest asset. He knows how to use it and is proud of that. His favorite body part of yours is your ass. He loves to grab handfuls of it when your having sex or cuddling, and he loves to give it a little smack or pinch when in passing. He likes the plumpness of it. C = Cum (Anything to do with cum) He produces a lot of it :x His favorite places to release it are inside you and on your stomach. He’ll clean up the mess afterwards but loves to see you glistening with it. Like he's marked you as his. D = Dirty Secret (A dirty secret of theirs) He’ll never tell you but… he secretly loves teasing you and doing dirty things with you in public. He’s only done it once (you were so embarrassed after words and got onto him) but it makes him smile and chuckle seeing you get all riled up and trying to hide it. He doesn’t care if anyone sees or finds out, he’ll find a way to get rid of them or shut up. It’s just all part of his love for teasing you. E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?) Jack is up there in age so he’s got a lot of experience under his belt. He knows all the right places to touch. He’s had many endeavours plus he was married for a while. In short, he definitely knows his way around. F = Favorite Position Save a horse, ride a cowboy ya know. Jack loves it when you ride him. He likes to watch you bounce up and down on his dick, being able to look you in the eyes. Mostly forward but doesn’t mind reverse either. G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc) Jack can be goofy very often. He loves to goof around with you and make you laugh. He’s a goofy flirt too. However, when in the moment he pushes that aside for the most part and becomes very serious and romantic. Rarely is he goofy when in the moment. H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.) He keeps it well groomed. Always trimmed short of shaven down as best as can. Only times it’s out of control somewhat is when he’s gotten back from a long mission where he had not time to worry about such a thing. I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) Jack is super romantic. He loves to give you tender kisses, caress your skin, and whisper sweet nothings to you. He loves to praise you. He can get rough when in the moment at times if feeling it, still putting the romance behind it however. J = Jack Off (Masturbation head canon) He’s away on missions a lot so when away from you and craving you he’s got to find a way of release. He often times will get off in his office behind his desk as well if in the mood. K = Kink (One or more of their kinks) 1. Jack likes to use rope. It comes from his lasso usage at work. He just finds it fun to tie you up, seeing you wriggle as he teases you and him being able to take charge. 2. He likes to be praised back .L = Location (Favorite places to do the do) He has no preference where you do it. Anywhere and anytime. The bed, the sofa, his office… M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going) His motivation is literally just your being. You and everything having to do with you motivates and gets him going. That’s how in love with you he is. N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs) Jack might like to get rough at times but he would never go too far as to cause you to cry or leave a mark on you. He doesn’t want to cause you straight up pain. Only pleasure pain. He also refuses to share you. You are for him and him only. O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc) Jack loves to give you oral. He likes to taste you and loves that he can make you cum with just his mouth so easily. He also loves when you go down on him. He loves to watch you fuck himwith your mouth, something about it he finds so beautiful. P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.) Jack likes a mixture. Starting out slow and sensual and working his way up to rough and fast. Sometimes though he’ll go slow and sensual the entire time, and other times fast and rough. Depends on the mood. Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.) If an urge passes through him and he can get away with doing a quickie he is down for it. He prefers proper sex but he’ll take what he can at times. R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.) Jack is always down to experiment and bring new things to the table but he doesn’t want to do anything that you don’t want to. He’ll take risks only so far. Again, he doesn’t want to cause you actual pain, only pleasure pain. S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…) While he is up there in age that doesn’t stop him. He still can go like he used to years ago. He can last a few rounds. His stamina is up thanks to his field of work. Takes a lot to wear him out. He'll keep going as long as he can and you're willing. T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?) Only “toys” he owns is rope. As stated he likes to use it to tie you up. He isn't opposed to trying others though if you are. Whether it be on you or on himself. U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) Jack loves to tease you and get you riled up. He’s a flirt what do you expect. He loves to torment you and get you all excited, leaving you on the edge to beg for him until he finally gives in. V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make) He’s got a mouth on him, we all know that. He likes to talk a lot in the bedroom by giving you praises. Now for his moans he is all over the board. He has no control over them for they fluctuate depending on how turned on he is and how much he likes something. W = Wild Card (Get a random head canon for the character of your choice) Jack is a dominant person in the bedroom. He likes to be the one to take charge and be in control but he isn’t afraid to let you have some control too on occasions. X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants) He’s packin’. I mean … big dick energy. We been knew. At least 8 inches in length and thick. No wonder it’s his favorite asset. Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?) He’s got a high drive. Jack is rearing and ready to go pretty much whenever. He’s a horny motherfucker. Just the slightest tease from you can get him riled up and hard in a matter of minutes. Z =  ZZZ (How quickly they fall asleep afterward) He falls asleep fairly quickly, age and all causes that but not until after a good cuddle session.