#also note: Sandstorm is not Redtail's kit. She was found abandoned

[shockwave-art]

attempting to detangle the Thunderclan Family tree for my warriors rewrite

this tree shall be the death of me

[moss-path]

A family tree of Dappletail’s lineage! Featuring my SquirrelCrow MothPool PO3 AU.

Check out my Firestar and Mapleshade family trees too. 

I’ve tried to keep coat colors as genetically accurate as possible but with mostly canon eye colors. I’ve also tried to avoid all instances of incest. If I’ve overlooked anything LMK.

 Notes on changes from canon blow the cut :)

Rainfur is the sister of Doestar and Deerpaw. She is from a later litter of their parents’. She has a relationship with a WindClan cat, Sandgorse’s sibling, and they have Tawnyspots, Thrushpelt, and Dappletail. And yes, they are cousins with Talonstar (Tallstar).

After Moonflower’s death, Stormtail decides to pursue Dappletail, despite the fact she only receives her warrior name after his daughters have become apprentices. They have Cricketkit and Featherkit together. The two kits pass soon after their birth and the two separate.

Much later Dappletail has a litter of kits (Red, Willow, and Spotted) with an unnamed cat, probably a loner.

Snowfur is now Snowstorm. Her son is named after her.

Redtail and Runningwind are mates and have Sandstorm together. Sandstorm’s kithood and Redtail’s deputyship overlap.

Willowpelt has three litters. The first is Lighttail (Longtail) and Darkstripe, the second Graystripe, and the third Sootfur, Rainwhisker, and Sorreltail. The first two are with unnamed loners/housecats. The third litter is older than canon and are apprentices by the time the battle with BloodClan occurs. Sorreltail is initially Darkstripe’s apprentice.

Silverstream doesn’t die in childbirth, instead Graystripe preemptively decides to move to RiverClan upon learning she’s pregnant. Silverstream dies along with Stonetalon (Stonefur) while running from TigerClan.

The whole Graystripe and Millie plot happens. When Graystripe returns and finds that both of his kits have left the clans, he decides to move back into ThunderClan.

Brackenfur and Cinderlight (Cinderpelt) are born later than canon and are apprenticed around the same time as Brightheart and Thornclaw, who were found abandoned and are fostered by Frostfur.

Switching up TNP and PO3 relationships, Squirrelflight and Crowstorm (Crowfeather) have a fling that results in Alderheart, Jayflight (Jayfeather), and Sparkstorm (Sparkpelt). At the same time, Leafpool is in a relationship with Mothwing, and they have Lionblaze, Hollyshine (Hollyleaf), Juniperkit, and Dandelionkit. The two litters are born at the same time and the five surviving kits are raised together by Squirrelflight with no stated sire.

Stormfur dies instead of Feathertail in the mountains. The tribe’s prophecy involves a silver cat and the storm. When Stormfur is later fighting Sharptooth, both are struck by lightning and die. Crow asks to be named after him.

Jayflight and Berrynose are mates, but Jay is uncomfortable with the idea of carrying kits, so they approach Poppyfrost to act as a surrogate. During this, they grow closer. Berrynose becomes mates with Poppyfrost as well, and Jay and Poppy are besties.

Brightheart and Cloudtail have their second litter much sooner than canon, between Ferncloud’s second and Sorreltail’s first. Ambermoon and Dewnose are born during the journey while they stay with the tribe.

Cinderheart is instead Emberheart, to remember both her aunt Cinderspark and her uncle Sootfur who die in the fight against the badgers. The reincarnation plot does not happen.

Lilyheart has litter with an unnamed cat, probably a loner.

As she is now much older than (and related to) Larksong, Sparkstorm has her litter with Toadstep. Ferncloud, Toadstep, and Flickerkit die in the Dark Forest battle when a cat gets into the nursery. Whitewing fosters Finch and Flame while she’s grieving.

Stormcloud and Cherryfall become mates and have Flywhisker, Snaptooth, and Spotfur.

Instead of Sorreltail, it’s Brackenfur that dies in the Dark Forest battle. Sorrelstripe is now Brackenstripe.

Blossomfall and Ivypool are mates. Both have litters of kittens with loners and raise them together. Bristlefrost looks up to Stemleaf as an older brother figure.

[leporellian]

how i would rewrite warrior cats: into the wild

rewriting the entire series is a big Thing in the warrior cats fandom, and i don’t have the time to do that. however i have been having Ideas about what i would do if i rewrote the books, and the changes are... drastic, to say the least, so i figured i would write them down in a bullet-point style List Thing to see what happens.

- we open on henry, an old wise sage-type kittypet, telling two kittypet kits- rusty and smudge- about the forest cats and their legends, primarily that of how the clans were born

- there were always little groups of cats in the forest, and they were originally very hostile- except for a lush spot full of prey, herbs, just about anything needed for survival. this spot has had many names and is referred to by a different name for each clan but universally, it’s called fourtrees, because there are four grand oaks that guard the area. this spot was something of a truce area where all the groups could get along

- however tension slowly boiled throughout the forest until there was a massive war at fourtrees. lots of cats dead and even more wounded. their spirits joined together to form starclan, who told the cats to unite or die- and as punishment for breaking the fourtrees truce, they set the whole thing ablaze. it’s no longer the survival spot it was

- however, the spirits say, the four oaks will grow from their charred remains again, as will the rest of the area. everything will be as it once was in time. starclan themselves cannot last, and must be reborn every 600 moons (or some other large number) from the midst of celestial battle. however, every time this happens, the spirits say, the coming of the ‘end of the stars’ will always and only be heralded by a heroic cat in a flame-orange coat, as a nod to the fire that started the clans to begin with. so it’s kind of like an avatar thing

- anyway 6 moons later there’s a battle at sunningrocks that kills redtail and oakheart. bluestar and spottedleaf, while discussing who will replace redtail, see a comet across the sky

- every falling star means a warrior has faded in starclan, and it means they are to be reborn- and something wonderful is on the cusp of beginning, says spottedleaf. spottedleaf also notes that according to the calendar system kept by the medicine cats the ‘fire alone’ cat should have arrived about 6 months ago, so everyone’s worried about what’s going on w/ that, Where Are They. she does note however that a lot of cats think the calendar had a miscalculation at some point and that the ‘fire alone’ cat is shadowclan’s new leader

- anyway rusty, the kittypet, decides to enter the forest. the twoleg nests here are Not A Good Place for cats to live, bc there’s constant fighting between the kittypets and everyone has their own boundaries and it’s very chaotic. there is a group that tries to monitor it called the blood brothers, but they’re usually in the city so their guidance isn’t often There. so both rusty and smudge want to Get Out and join the clans

- like in the original books he meets graypaw, who’s always interested in outsiders, and then bluestar, lionheart, and tigerclaw. lionheart is graypaw’s mentor, bluestar is thunderclan’s leader, and tigerclaw is bluestar’s nephew who is kindly yet determined, and has become deputy after redtail’s demise. again like in the originals he’s accepted into thunderclan fast

- smudge feels Betrayed. for some reason the writing takes special note of the glimmer in his striped collar- it’s all kind of colors, purple, red, blue, yellow. it’s very distinctive...

- next morning, lionheart and tigerclaw lead rusty to the thunderclan camp. all is well and good until longpaw and sandpaw roll up

- longpaw and sandpaw are twins and look exactly alike. they’re also the children of redtail and are both very competitive with everyone and each other (although they are very close) because they want to be Like Their Dad. both are taking redtail’s death hard

- longpaw is like ‘i wanna beat him up’ and given these are two 10 year olds basically everyone’s like ‘well rusty can fight too so Bet.’ it’s an even fight, longpaw gets his ear torn and rusty gets his collar ripped off

- this fight proves rusty is capable of being in thunderclan, and he’s renamed firepaw, which is a nod to the ‘fire alone’ thing as a ‘hey isn’t it funny he came right after the clock lined up for a fire-cloaked savior? strange lol’

- anyway firepaw is introduced to some Other Characters besides everyone i’ve mentioned thus far: - ravenpaw, medicine cat apprentice. he was a loner kit found abandoned on the territory and he’s constantly nervous and jittery. he’s also kind of clingy and a tad annoying because he’s constantly worried of being abandoned again, but he Is endearing - graypaw and darkpaw, twins similar to longpaw and sandpaw (although unlike them they have an ‘opposite twins’ kinda thing). both are the sons of willowpelt and a shadowclan tom, but both deal with it differently: graypaw is a dreamer who constantly is interested in cats from outside thunderclan ‘like him’, and darkpaw wants to try and overcompensate for it by being nothing but loyal- especially to his mentor, tigerclaw, who’s a father figure to him. dark isn’t mean but he is very sardonic and sarcastic, and it’s also made increasingly obvious that he Knows Something and is very nervous about it. weird - (yes, longpaw and sandpaw are annoyed that they’re the only ‘fully clan’ cats in this batch of apprentices.) - spottedleaf, thunderclan medicine cat. kind of a ditzy aunt type, it’s joked that she acts like a stoner bc she’s inhaling all the Herb Scents all day. fully enables all of the kids to do Dumb Things - the elders, who dislike all these new apprentices bc besides long and sand none of them are fully clan-blooded. the most vocal about this is thistleclaw, an elder always trying to start shit, and tigerclaw’s father (altho tiger is embarrassed by thistle’s outbursts). - and finally, cinderkit, who always tags along w/ the apprentices although she isn’t supposed to. she is however very smart and the apprentices don’t mind her tagging along. she’s made an apprentice like 1/2 way through here

- anyway at the gathering windclan is MISSING and NOBODY seems to know what is going on, but both riverclan and shadowclan are acting shady about it. 

- also brokenstar, The New ShadowClan Leader, seems like a nice guy, a Poster Boy type. his fur is bright orange so everyone’s like, ‘yea he’s the fire that’ll herald feline gottdammerung’ but nobody wants to THINK about feline gottdammerung yet because like, That’s An Upsetting Thought! it’s also noted that he’s way young for a leader

- anyway the apprentices (and cinderkit) are like. ‘we gotta know what's happening and why windclan vanished’ and everyone is involved (although sand and long keep their distance). it’s a very ‘up at midnight at a slumber party’ kind of aesthetic. everyone in shadow and river also has a motive, and at points there’s even evidence that something caused windclan to die out. lots of red herrings

- eventually yellowfang comes into the picture like she does in canon and they figure out shadowclan drove windclan out and that windclan is Alive and Out There somewhere. the evidence is enough that spottedleaf and tigerclaw (who's like the Cool Resident Dad) agree about it and so a spy patrol is sent to sneak in on shadowclan

- anyway everyone discovers how fucked up shadowclan is behind the curtain (what with the elder abuse and child warfare) and is like ‘holy shit we gotta stop these guys’ so there’s a big fight like in the original book and brokenstar is dethroned like he is in canon and brought to thunderclan

- thunderclan saves the day, yellowfang joins spottedleaf in the med cat den, and the apprentices all get names (save ravenpaw who’s a med cat apprentice)- firepaw is fireheart, graypaw is graystripe, darkpaw is darkstripe, longpaw is longtail (in honor of redtail), and sandpaw is sandstorm. it’s noted darkstripe looks super uncomfortable when tigerclaw is mentioned to be deputy. long and sand have a humorous argument abt their names and who got the Cooler One 

- however everyone’s like ‘ok so brokenstar wasn’t the Fire Savior so who IS’ and fire is dismissed out of hand bc he’s a kittypet and all the past fire saviors was clanborn. ravenpaw however tells fireheart in private that he believes fireheart is the Fire Alone, and that Shit Is About To Go The Fuck Down

- meanwhile, darkstripe asks if he can see fireheart alone, and fireheart obliges. darkstripe sits down and, very quietly, says ‘i have to tell you about what happened to redtail.’

- and it ends there lol that’s book one.

[official-hawknose]

I was enabled lmao

Princess and Rusty swapped, under read more

The basic premise IS that Princess is the one with the prophecy, the call to the outdoors and the like. Rusty comes in later as her littermate who she bonds with.

I'm not certain if I'll switch any other roles around, on one hand having a parent/child relationship like Bluestar and Firestar stay with Bluestar and Princess is tempting, switching Bluestar with any male counterparts could get tangled so I'm not sure on that.

Sandstorm is still female. She was an abandoned kit just outside of the clan territory that Redtail and Runningwind found. She was nursed by Brindleface. Like canon, she loses half her litter, the last two being Fernkit and Ashkit. They are born significantly sooner, there's less than a years gap between Dustpelt and Sandstorm being made warriors and Ashfur and Ferncloud being made apprentices.

Princess and Sandstorm become mates, and optionally Dustpelt sires for them but I'm not certain if it'd go well? Since it'd be in the 1-2 years between Ferncloud being a warrior and her and Dustpelt being mates.

A lot of my rough outline follows Bluestar and Tigerstar being switched.

Ravenpaw still leaves and goes to the barn, where hes mates with Barley. Graystripe falls into the river still and the two options are A) still Silverstream or Graypools kits Swankit, Morningkit and Splashkit are alive and he becomes mates with one of them, with Silverstream being the surrogate if its Splashkit. I want to keep the cross clan relationship there because its pretty good?

I'm not sure how to write in Brambleclaw and Tawnypelt though. My options are either Goldenflower is 100% a Riverclan cat or was Thunderclan and moved to Riverclan. I'm unsure. Either way, Swiftpaw was Tigerstars. He still dies in the dog attack, he hangs on long enough to be recovered to the clan and comforted in his strength and bravery, and given a warrior name. Optionally he was Riverclan who saw Brightpaw alone and ran to save her but I'm not sure?? This is if I switch Tigerclaw and Bluestar

If Bluestar and Tigerstar are swapped, Bluestar would've had kits with Thrushpelt, she just would've lied and said they were Oakhearts to create tension and hurt Thrushpelt.

Tallstar and Jake are mates, Jake is just a surrogate for Quince and Nutmeg.

Currently I either want Scourge to have been MIA OR for Jake to have basically stolen him after he saw what was happening, carting him off to Windclan where he's made a warrior. Either way, Ruby still takes his place in the story as a scourge against all cats. Name is also a wip

One major thing I want to be known: Princess has the kits, not Sandstorm. She nurses them and traded places with Sandstorm occasionally to do deputy duties, and when the dogs are around, she isn't part of the dog chase, she actually takes the last leg of the run instead of Sandstorm, who would've had the last 2 roles in the run. Sandstorm absolutely chews her out afterwards for being so reckless with her safety.

Sandstorm also isn't kept in as much darkness as canon, she knows about any half clan kits/relationships and doesn't put much of a fuss up, mostly because she knows she wasn't a clan born kit.

Also because I hated this: when Redtail is brought back to camp dead, she does actually grieve him instead of just ignoring that he's dead. Runningwind and Mousefur are in a similar situation to Dustpelt and Ferncloud and are almost apprentices when Redtail is made a warrior.

Runningwind still dies to Tigerclaw, and when Sandstorm finds out, she has it OUT for Tigerstar for killing both of her dads AND her foster mother?? No forgiveness. Optionally Bluestar if I do switch it around. I actually have an entire layout for if I DO switch Bluestar and Tigerstars places, since I really don't want it to seem like I'm ripping that from another rewrite thats been around longer than mine. But I'll talk about it if anyone asks. It also ties into why I brought up Graypools kits previously.

Side note, Cinderpelt still gets hit by the car, she still gets her leg mangled. After recovery, she spends a lot of time trying to continue warrior training, including going to Deadfoot for help on a lame leg. In the end, she still does become a medicine cat AFTER spending a long time trying to make ways to make hunting and fighting comfortable. After being clipped by a car, a cats leg usually gets shattered. Trying to scrunch it up so the toes don't drag on the ground is painful, and in battle it would've been a target. She values her training and time learning to do things from Deadfoot, but decides to become a medicine cat on her own.

She enjoys being a medicine cat, and doesn't feel lesser. She also does NOT get the reincarnation arc, instead shes just Cinderhearts guide like Spottedleaf was to Fireheart, minus any creepy stuff. She loved her life as a med cat, and doesnt think her accident made her lose her life.

Similarly, Briarlights accident still happens. Brackenfur helps her figure out stretches, because he helped Cinderpelt with them for her leg. Briarlight becomes a camp guard, though, and has survivors guilt above all else for surviving what Longtail didnt.

Most of the other cats like Jayfeather and Snowkit are up in the air. Right now I don't have a set plan for Princesses kits yet, so Im not sure what I'll go about doing for that and how the three are going to work.

[staircasttext]

Ep 17 Transcript: She-cats Unite!

Episode 17

[intro music]

PAZ: Hi everyone, welcome back to Stairway to StarClan, a Warriors Cat reread pawdcast. I'm Paz.

JULIAN: I'm Julian.

LIZ: I'm Liz.

PAZ: And we are here today starting the third book in the series, Forest of Secrets. It's very exciting. But yeah, we had to take a break so it's been a bit since I think we all read these chapters, but there's a lot to talk about. I'm sure we will spark our memories.

LIZ: The reason we took a break was we couldn't record last time because it was 103 or something where I was. So I was in a liquid state.

PAZ: Horrible. Well, how was everyone's break period?

LIZ: It got cooler.

PAZ: That's good.

JULIAN: Yeah, I went to visit my parents and that was good.

PAZ: I read something different in between. I started reading Uglies, rereading it. Shout out to YA.

JULIAN: Hell yes.

PAZ: I'm a big fan.

JULIAN: I did look while I was home to see if we had any of the Warrior Cats books still. But I don't think I ever actually owned them. I just checked them out from the library a million times.

PAZ: Oh my gosh.

DOG: [barking]

PAZ: I was a little like, child king, then. Oh my god, my dog.

JULIAN: Oh no.

LIZ: Not a fan of Warriors.

JULIAN: It's atmospheric. We're under attack by... Just imagine this whole podcast is being recorded from Barley and Ravenpaw's barn.

PAZ: Yeah, that's right. There's probably like a UPS guy. Or she's faking it. It's probably the fish plates we ordered, Liz.

LIZ: Oh my god, unboxing audio, please.

PAZ: Okay, maybe she's done. I forget what I was even saying.

LIZ: Reading Uglies.

JULIAN: You were reading Uglies.

LIZ: And Julian was borrowing a lot of books.

PAZ: Yeah, I own a lot of Warriors. And I own most of them in hardcover.

LIZ: Wow.

PAZ: I guess that's all I ever asked for, apparently. My treasure hoard.

LIZ: Child king.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: That's so impressive, honestly.

PAZ: Yeah, I'm pretty proud of my collection. And I'm very happy to have the old covers for all of those, too, because I think they're better. I'm sorry, they're better.

JULIAN: No, they are.

LIZ: They are.

JULIAN: You're right.

PAZ: So I have an antiques collection. Yeah, I don't know. Should we get into it?

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: Four chapters, technically.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Prologue through chapter three.

PAZ: Okay, I'll just go into the summaries. So the prologue, okay. A tomcat is helping two tiny helpless kits travel through the snow to a small island in RiverClan. He takes them to the nursery and asks Graypool, a she-cat who has recently lost a kit, to help nurse them. Graypool asks Oakheart where he got the kits, and he just says he found them in the forest, where they were probably abandoned. Graypool doesn't think Oakheart is telling her the whole truth and says so, but he leaves without explaining. She is proved right when she smells the scent of an enemy clan on the kits.

Chapter one. Fireheart returns to the ThunderClan camp from hunting. It's leafbare so food is scarce. Tigerclaw shows up and says Fireheart doesn't need to go hunting again since Bluestar wants him and Graystripe to go to the gathering. They have a brief standoff about clan loyalty. Tigerclaw says he saw Fireheart let the RiverClan warrior escape from the WindClan battle, and Fireheart says he should tell Bluestar himself if he's so worried. Tigerclaw looks slightly afraid, and Fireheart wonders if Tigerclaw knows that he (Fireheart) knows he (Tigerclaw) killed Redtail. He does because Ravenpaw told him.

LIZ: Sorry, lots of he/hims here.

PAZ: Fireheart also remembers his frustration at Bluestar not believing him when he last told her this. Tigerclaw leaves. Graystripe boggles at Fireheart starting a fight with him and then apologizes for his relationship with Silverstream causing problems for Fireheart, though Fireheart says the problem has always been Tigerclaw. The two cats eat and rest in their den before the gathering, and Fireheart notices Tigerclaw, Darkstripe, and Longtail talking together. Fireheart sees that Tigerclaw is now spreading rumors about him. He decided to talk to Ravenpaw again after the gathering to ask for proof of Tigerclaw being dangerous to the clan. And Graystripe says he'll go with him.

At the gathering, Fireheart notices how tense everyone is because of the recent battle. Graystripe is eager to talk to Silverstream. Whitestorm and Tigerclaw talk to Bluestar about ThunderClan sheltering Brokentail, but she says they won't tell the other clans. Meanwhile, Graystripe has disappeared, and Fireheart listens to a group of elders from all clans talk about how bad the leafbare was back in their day. They mention Bluestar having lost kits in the past to leafbare.

The leaders make some announcements, mainly that WindClan's warriors are still strong, though they have lost an elder, and that ThunderClan has two new warriors, Dustpelt and Sandstorm. ShadowClan and RiverClan don't look very pleased. Graystripe and Fireheart get ready to leave for Ravenpaw. Fireheart has to lie to Sandstorm about hunting so she won't go with them.

Chapter two, Fireheart and Graystripe find Ravenpaw and Barley in their barn. Barley lets them eat some mice. Fireheart asks Ravenpaw to recount exactly what happened when Redtail was killed. It's painful for Ravenpaw, but he gives a detailed account. He was injured in the shoulder, and Redtail told him to hide. Redtail was fighting with a RiverClan warrior named Stonefur. Oakheart showed up and pulled Redtail off Stonefur, saying no ThunderClan cat would ever harm Stonefur.

Redtail flew at Oakheart, knocking him under a rocky overhang, and the rocks fell on both of them. Ravenpaw saw Oakheart's tail sticking out from the rocks, but Tigerclaw told him to go back to camp. He crept back to see if Redtail was okay and saw all the RiverClan warriors had fled, and saw Redtail run right into a waiting Tigerclaw, who pinned him down and killed him.

Fireheart says if they can prove the rockfall story, they can show that Tigerclaw was lying. Graystripe is skeptical, but Fireheart says Bluestar didn't believe him about Ravenpaw's story before because they didn't know about the rockfall part. They thank Ravenpaw and leave. On the way back, they meet three WindClan warriors, who are friendly, but Fireheart is still worried about Bluestar finding out where they were. They try hunting on their way back but find nothing. Tigerclaw is waiting for them when they return.

Chapter three, Tigerclaw asks where Fireheart and Graystripe have been, but doesn't believe the hunting story because he can smell that they've eaten. He takes some Bluestar, and they tell her they ate to get some energy for hunting but couldn't find anything after. She's disappointed and scolds them both because the leafbare is hard for the clan. Afterwards, Tigerclaw and Fireheart have another standoff, but Graystripe holds Fireheart back.

They go to rest in the den. Fireheart says he'll tell Sandstorm what happened later, and he falls asleep next to her. Fireheart has a dream about Spottedleaf, who shows him an unfamiliar landscape full of water. She tells him, "water can quench fire." Thanks, Spottedleaf. Graystripe wakes him up and says it's time to go hunting. Fireheart is distracted, wondering if Spottedleaf's prophecy means that ThunderClan is doomed. That's the end of our reading.

JULIAN: This is out of order, but I would love if Spottedleaf would be a little bit less cryptic.

PAZ: She is so cryptic. It just went all the way into like the common sense.

LIZ: It's like, is she like ghost Smokey the Bear now? Like in favor of controlled natural... Well, those are two different things. Like the kind of forest burning that's like to get rid of the dead like growth.

JULIAN: Oh, like a controlled burn?

LIZ: Mm-hmm. But also like, it's still fire. You do need to put it out, cats, somehow.

PAZ: Spottedleaf voice, only you can prevent forest fires.

JULIAN: Spottedleaf's forestry management tips.

PAZ: It's so funny.

JULIAN: I just like... yeah, water can quench fire. What the fuck does that mean?

LIZ: It means what it means.

PAZ: She's just giving Fireheart the crash course on being a firefighter. This is his training.

JULIAN: Oh, I am now imagining cats in little firefighter outfits.

PAZ: That's very good.

LIZ: Aw.

PAZ: The little hats.

LIZ: It's the introduction of the new job, the one new job they get every 100 years.

PAZ: Oh shit.

JULIAN: I also had another note about a new job that they could come up with, which is, well, it's really difficult for them with leafbare right now. But what if they farmed some mice? What if they had a little mouse farm? I think that would be really good for them.

PAZ: Oh, you mean they like develop, like animal husbandry?

JULIAN: Mm-hmm.

LIZ: Wow.

JULIAN: I think that would be a real solution to their problems.

PAZ: Yeah, for real.

JULIAN: And another job.

LIZ: Do you think the mice that they farm will develop their own little dystopian YA society?

PAZ: We talked about this before.

LIZ: Yes, I think so, actually.

PAZ: We 100% talked about this before.

JULIAN: Oh God. Then we have to worry about like that the cats are eating sentient creatures.

LIZ: The hero of the story is called Leafnibble.

JULIAN: Aw.

LIZ: And they have to escape from the Pit, run by the Hissers or something.

PAZ: This just sounds like a Fallout game.

LIZ: Leafnibble?

PAZ: No, the Pit part. The Hissers. That's great. You should copyright that, though.

LIZ: All right. To all the people listening to this podcast, don't fucking tell anyone.

PAZ: Well, I guess... should we go back to the beginning? Where we have this beautiful prologue with two cats we don't fuck-- I guess we know Oakheart. He's dead though. So we don't really know him.

LIZ: Nah.

JULIAN: We know of him.

PAZ: So I mean, obviously, this is not current-- unless he's not dead. But I don't think so because he was crushed by rocks. Or was-- he was the one crushed by rocks, right?

JULIAN: He was the one crushed by rocks.

PAZ: It was Oakheart crushed by rocks. Tigerclaw kills Redtail.

JULIAN: Yeah, I don't know. I'm with Graypool about this. If a dude showed up and was like, don't ask where these babies came from. I found them in the woods. I would ask some more questions.

PAZ: Oakheart was ahead of the trend of kit stealing is probably what she's thinking.

LIZ: Oh my god, this is where it came from.

PAZ: You can't just do that, bro. There's a lot of like, cats losing kittens and adopting more happening. With child death.

JULIAN: Yeah, a lot of like, parenthood trauma. I'm sure that these kits will never show up again, though.

PAZ: No. Why-- just an unrelated prologue.

LIZ: I think it's very funny that the line used every time now is, well, you've recently lost a child. Would you like another one?

PAZ: Exactly.

LIZ: Like it was very sad the first time it happened, with Cloudkit. But now it's just, oh, is this-- I guess it makes sense when you're a cat who's a stray. And there's just like a high infant mortality. Right?

PAZ: Yes. Oh, it's always high.

LIZ: Just yeah.

JULIAN: Don't worry. It's some replacement babies.

PAZ: Good thing that Oakheart found some.

JULIAN: Yeah, just out in the woods.

PAZ: Out in ThunderClan woods, apparently. I don't know, I don't really have much else I can say about the prologue at this point to preserve the secrecy for Liz. So I'll just say, wow.

LIZ: I have guesses, listen.

PAZ: Oh yeah? What are they?

JULIAN: What are your guesses?

LIZ: I think it's a very sensible guess. I don't know if I should say it.

JULIAN: No, I want to hear it.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: So my guess is that Oakheart and Bluestar had a little thing, and then those are her kits, right?

PAZ: Mm.

JULIAN: Ooh.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: Why do you say that?

LIZ: Because I think in the next chapter, someone mentions that Bluestar lost her kits.

[laughter]

Now, I did go get--

JULIAN: The law of conservation of kits.

LIZ: I did go and get my degree in literature. And I've read a book or two. It took some training, but I think this is what they call foreshadowing.

PAZ: Oh, I've never heard of that.

LIZ: It's very subtle.

JULIAN: Chekhov's kits.

PAZ: Well, we'll see if your literature degree pays off.

LIZ: Also, is one of her sons Stonefur because that's also a gray cat, from what it sounds like?

PAZ: I don't know.

JULIAN: Only time will tell.

LIZ: Well, maybe Bluestar's like literally blue, and they just never mentioned it.

PAZ: I don't know. I always envisioned her as like a Russian blue cat. That might be completely wrong, but.

JULIAN: Same. You know, that common coat color among cats in the wild?

PAZ: Listen. Yellowfang-- once again, Yellowfang is a Persian cat.

LIZ: Yellowfang's fucking a pedigree show cat. She has escaped from a beauty contest.

JULIAN: How does she keep like-- Persians are so hard to groom.

PAZ: I know.

LIZ: Her secret is that every summer she goes to like, I don't know, the vet and just gets shaved and comes back.

JULIAN: She sneaks off to Twolegplace to get a lion cut.

LIZ: Fireheart voice, oh Yellowfang, what happened to you? She's just like, Oh, I shed a lot. This is a special medicine cat fashion of shedding. We know how.

JULIAN: StarClan took my fur.

LIZ: StarClan took my fur and wove a smaller kitten out of it. And that's where they come from, Fireheart.

PAZ: Oh. Fireheart nodding in understanding.

JULIAN: Chapter one is a doozy. There's a lot that happens.

PAZ: Yeah, once again, we get a lovely recap of the previous book, right at the top. Oh, my God, I was looking at Goodreads reviews. And someone was really upset that the books do that. They were like, who would ever read these out of order. It's so stupid.

LIZ: Children.

JULIAN: I mean, they came out-- yeah, children. And also like, when they came out, it had been like six months to a year since the last one had come out.

PAZ: Exactly. Oh my god.

JULIAN: And children are not known for remembering every plot detail.

LIZ: Nope.

PAZ: I was a child who read these books out of order because I just started on the second series.

JULIAN: I think I also might have read them a little bit out of order because like they weren't always available at the library all in order.

LIZ: Yeah, exactly.

JULIAN: I was gonna read what I could get.

PAZ: Different times, I guess.

JULIAN: We didn't have Overdrive back in the day. Back in the olden times, we had to wait for Harry down the street to bring the book back to the library.

PAZ: Fucking Harry.

LIZ: You think it's hard waiting on Libby for two weeks? You didn't have to wait for your best friend to finish your book and give it back. Ugh. Did you ever do the thing--

JULIAN: Bring it back covered in Cheeto dust.

PAZ: Were you gonna say something, Liz?

LIZ: Orange like Fireheart. That's not what I was gonna say. I was gonna ask if you ever did the horrible thing of like, okay, I've returned this book, and you go immediately to the librarian, like, can I renew this?

PAZ: Yeah, I probably did.

JULIAN: Yeah, I definitely did that. Well, I didn't do it that often because I was such a fast reader that I would like--

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: Oh, that is true.

JULIAN: My family literally got library cards for us as soon as we were born because the like older kids--

LIZ: Aw.

JULIAN: Well, the older kids were checking out so many books that we needed, like the 20 book limit per card.

PAZ: Oh my god.

LIZ: Aw. So cute.

PAZ: Incredible. We were really bad at returning library books. We had lots of fines.

JULIAN: Oh, no.

PAZ: It's okay.

LIZ: I used my mom's library card for such a long time. And then by the time I had to get my own, I was a teen, and it was like a very serious process. I remember getting it at the library, and my dad had to be there with his driver's license or something. I don't know why. And then I ended up not using that one for many years because eventually, a book was overdue. And I just like, I couldn't face-- I couldn't face consequences.

PAZ: That's exactly what happened.

LIZ: The consequences was that they just let you forget about it and you can keep using the same library card as an adult.

JULIAN: I know a lot of libraries are starting to either do loan forgiveness entirely or like for kid cards, they don't do fines, which I think is a good strategy because kids are, you know, they're doing their best. Oh, Chickpea wants my chips.

PAZ: It's like, you can only really-- unless you live like, in walking distance of a library, you can only get to the library if like, your parents can take you.

LIZ: And kids are kids. Like they're gonna borrow, let's say, some random book about Thanksgiving for some reason. And when they are, let's say in their 20s, they're gonna find it in another pile of books in their house.

JULIAN: Oh no.

LIZ: And have a horrible sinking feeling.

PAZ: This is all hypothetical, right?

LIZ: Hypothetically.

PAZ: Anyway, back to chapter one.

JULIAN: Back to chapter one.

PAZ: I don't know. Tigerclaw's just all up in Fireheart's business immediately.

JULIAN: Confrontation right off the bat. After a fairly non-confrontational last book, Tigerclaw is done. He's tired of being nice. And he's going to be apeshit.

PAZ: Well, he did try to like directly murder Fireheart.

JULIAN: That is true.

PAZ: He's probably a little pissed that didn't work. So he's like, I need to make this happen sooner.

LIZ: He wasn't anticipating Fireheart to be so good at flipping other cats.

JULIAN: He didn't expect the protagonist halo.

LIZ: No, no, no.

PAZ: No. That's gonna be your downfall, Tigerclaw, you fool.

LIZ: Did you miss all the times they talked about how like, beautiful and orange colored his hair is? And how his love interest is also a different shade of orange?

JULIAN: They match.

LIZ: Yeah, that's protagonist stuff.

PAZ: Wait, I thought Sandstorm was just like light yellow.

LIZ: No, she's like a light orange.

PAZ: You sure about that?

LIZ: Yes. Which I think shouldn't be, because sand is not orange.

PAZ: I am looking. Sandstorm.

LIZ: She should be like a tan cat cause that's the color of sand.

JULIAN: Yep, pale ginger she-cat.

PAZ: What?

JULIAN: Barely visible stripe of darker fur. I always assumed she was like, just sort of light brown.

LIZ: Brown. Right?

PAZ: Right? Oh my god. I've been doing wrong for half my life.

JULIAN: I thought she was one of those cats that's like kind of a light brown and then has like--

PAZ: That's what she looks like. Hold on.

JULIAN: --a darker muzzle. Yeah, this is--

PAZ: I don't think this is light orange. This official art?

JULIAN: Yeah, that just looks like shading.

PAZ: That's just a tan cat.

LIZ: I think she's tan.

PAZ: Let me find a picture.

LIZ: I just remember like the little description saying she was orange, because I thought, well, that's bullshit.

JULIAN: Well, here she is on the Rising Storm cover, and she looks basically like Tigerclaw-- or like Fireheart. This is bananas. Okay, I'm sorry. I have to kick Chickpea out. Chickpea, you can't be on the desk while I'm recording. You cannot mess up the microphone setup. This is so delicate. Chickpea, come here. C'mere. Yep. C'mere. Nope, get.

LIZ: Oh my god, there's a fuckin plane flying over my house.

[door shuts]

PAZ: Everything's out to sabotage us.

LIZ: I hate-- no more noises. No more.

JULIAN: Sorry. She was being great. And then she woke up.

PAZ: I don't-- the old art, she looks like a tan cat to me, and that's--

LIZ: She just looks like a little mountain lion in this one.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: I don't think she should be orange.

JULIAN: Oh wait. Please look at this art in which she has eye makeup from one of the--

PAZ: Oh my god.

LIZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: One of the--

PAZ: No!

LIZ: Noooo.

JULIAN: --graphic novels.

PAZ: She has like shiny eyeshadow.

LIZ: Why does she have highlighter?

JULIAN: Like the sexy cartoon, like woman coding. She has like the purple eyeshadow.

PAZ: I'm losing it.

LIZ: Why? She's got those 2000s like thin eyebrows, too, to match.

PAZ: Yeah, oh my god. This is the most unappealing cat design I've ever seen.

JULIAN: She also-- oh my god. It makes her-- she also has eye bags, somehow.

PAZ: Yeah, I don't-- what's going on?

JULIAN: What's happening?

LIZ: Maybe they're supposed to be like stripes.

PAZ: Maybe this is like her as like an older cat?

JULIAN: Has this artist ever seen a cat?

PAZ: No, absolutely.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: The Warriors manga artist has never seen a cat, and that is fact. Okay, I'm looking in the-- I'm on the Warriors wiki, beloved by all. I'm in the alternate images section for Sandstorm. There are so many different color versions of her. There's like a tan one, which I think is right. And then there's a ginger one. Then there's this one's that's just dark brown. And then there's one that's like, tan and brown stripes. And then there's one that's white. Nobody can agree.

JULIAN: Wait, there's one that's white? Where's the white one?

PAZ: Yes.

LIZ: Maybe like the white sands of some famous beach.

JULIAN: Here is her official art from Code of the Clans. And that's just a cat.

LIZ: That's just a cat.

PAZ: Okay, I am sending you a picture of her and Fireheart. She's definitely not ginger. This is official art from the cover.

JULIAN: Yeah, that's the one that I was talking about that's on the cover of Rising Storm, and it's like--

PAZ: She's just brown.

JULIAN: She's just brown.

PAZ: That's what I always pictured her as.

LIZ: Yeah, ginger doesn't make sense. That's not--

PAZ: No, it doesn't.

LIZ: I mean, is it-- do the cats, like in their gathering of like, you know, medicine stuff, do they use ginger? Because real ginger on the outside is kind of a light tan.

PAZ: I'm very heated about this. She's not ginger. She's tan.

LIZ: She's tan. She's not orange-ginger, like a redheaded human. She's ginger like, the outside of the ginger roots.

JULIAN: Is this like a British like color differentiation?

PAZ: Oh, maybe.

JULIAN: Like how like red and orange are a little bit weird. You know, it's like a red breasted robin or whatever. Because orange as a color didn't exist.

LIZ: What?

PAZ: I'll just-- I will blame it on British people. I'm saying yes.

LIZ: Look at her little icon.

PAZ: That's tan though.

LIZ: It is tan. I prefer tan also, because otherwise it's doing like the very, like, straight cartoon thing where the couple has to look kind of like each other, just like different cisgenders. You know what I mean?

JULIAN: If she's just like a palette swap version of him, that's no good.

LIZ: I don't-- no.

PAZ: She isn't though. I think the art, the official art disproves this.

JULIAN: Yeah. I don't accept this description.

LIZ: She's the color of sand.

PAZ: I've gotten so-- what were we talking about? Tigerclaw? I got so sidetracked by this.

JULIAN: We were talking about... yeah, we were talking about the confrontation with Tigerclaw. And how Tigerclaw doesn't recognize that Fireheart has a protagonist halo.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: Right.

JULIAN: It is really sweet that after that Graystripe is like you fought with Tigerclaw over me? It's like yeah, buddy, where have you been?

PAZ: Okay. I-- sorry. I'm putting another ding against Graystripe. His only concern re: Tigerclaw is that he could break up his romance with Silverstream. That is literally like how Fireheart convinces him to help. I'm so done with Graystripe. He doesn't care-- once again, he doesn't care that Tigerclaw's murdered people. He already said I don't care in the last book.

LIZ: And he knows that he did.

PAZ: The only reason he cares now is because he's like I don't want Tigerclaw to break me up with my gf.

JULIAN: Well, and I also like-- I'm like Fireheart, come on. Fireheart's like, oh, the problem's always been Tigerclaw.

PAZ: No.

JULIAN: And it's like, no, the problem-- like Tigerclaw is right here. The problem is Graystripe. Tigerclaw is being a mustache twirling villain about it, but he's not wrong.

PAZ: Yeah, I mean, he is not wrong that Fireheart did let a cat go.

LIZ: We are setting ourselves up for some division. We've already been called out for being Tigerclaw apologists.

PAZ: And what if we are? And what of it? Hashtag Tigerclaw was right.

LIZ: No!

PAZ: If you agree, tweet it.

LIZ: Controversial.

JULIAN: Paz trying to get our podcast canceled.

LIZ: Someone's gonna reply to us with a picture of the cat. Tigerclaw, this cat is a war criminal.

PAZ: Yeah, but Graystripe sucks.

LIZ: He does suck.

JULIAN: He does.

LIZ: I wish Fireheart wasn't unrequitedly in love with him.

PAZ: Yeah, Fireheart, bro, you deserve better.

JULIAN: You do.

PAZ: Onewhisker's right there.

JULIAN: Onewhisker's right there. Fucking Ravenpaw was right there.

PAZ: Yeah, I'm sure Ravenpaw and Barley would let you join in. They're chill.

JULIAN: Sandstorm is right there.

PAZ: Yeah. Sandstorm is so much better than Graystripe.

LIZ: She is great. And the color of natural ginger.

PAZ: Yeah, hold on. I'm just trying to--

LIZ: Find pictures of sand?

PAZ: Where Graystripe just like-- he's just like-- Fireheart's like, "'I don't trust them,' he murmured, flicking his ears in the direction of Tigerclaw and the others. 'I don't blame you,' meowed Graystripe. 'If Tigerclaw ever found out about Silverstream...'" That's all he has to say.

JULIAN: That's your concern, buddy?

LIZ: What about like, what if Tigerclaw kills your best friend?

PAZ: Nope.

LIZ: Also, underrated moment where they apparently used their little ears to point. I think that's very cute.

PAZ: Aw.

JULIAN: Yeah, there's a lot of like, you know, like cuddling and physical touch in these chapters, which I really like.

PAZ: They're little cats.

JULIAN: That's how cats show affection. They cuddle.

LIZ: They're little guys. Like fuck Graystripe, but.

PAZ: Yeah, I mean, that scene's basically like Graystripe being stupid. But Fireheart being like, we gotta go see Ravenpaw again.

LIZ: Do you think Tigerclaw takes a pet like no problem?

PAZ: No.

JULIAN: He takes a pet many problems.

PAZ: Yeah. You have to wear like falconing gloves if you try and pet him.

JULIAN: I think he's kind of a Chickpea style, where he takes like one pet and then he bites you.

LIZ: Tigerclaw looks exactly like Chickpea. No different.

JULIAN: I may have-- I might have adopted Tigerclaw into my home. I might be living with Tigerclaw.

PAZ: Ah, that's a great new sitcom.

LIZ: Chickenclaw.

PAZ: Chickenclaw. Should we move on to the gathering, though?

LIZ: Yes.

JULIAN: Yeah. I was a little worried when Tigerclaw and Onewhisker were talking at the gathering.

PAZ: Oh my god, I know.

JULIAN: Like uh-oh, what's being set up here?

PAZ: Better not be spreading rumors.

LIZ: He absolutely is. This is the part in the marriage of convenience political AU where he takes the new ambassador aside and is like, oh, it's so sad that you, our fine ambassador from the clan who is also not as good as ours, that you have to be married to the most shameful member of our clan. But you don't even know why. And then he walks away.

JULIAN: Perfect. Excellent. Sowing the seeds of distrust between the husbands.

PAZ: I do want to say Tigerclaw so far in this book has switched from being mean teacher to like queen bee mean girl character.

LIZ: His range.

PAZ: Who's just trying to turn the school against Fireheart and stop Fireheart from becoming prom queen.

JULIAN: Which everyone knows he deserves.

PAZ: Yeah. I did like at the gathering that we get to hear conversation between all the old cats.

LIZ: Yeah, I loved that.

PAZ: It's very cute. They're just like, back in my day, it was colder. All these kids these days.

LIZ: Fireheart gets called a soft millennial.

JULIAN: Well, and then Fireheart is like no, we're strong now, and it's like, shut up.

PAZ: I love that all the old cats are like just friends regardless of clans. They don't-- they're too old for this shit.

JULIAN: Yeah, it's really good.

LIZ: I'm just imagining a whole bunch of like elderly cats, the way they-- you know, elderly cats look, just like, huddled together.

PAZ: Exactly.

LIZ: And like meowing, because that's how they gossip.

JULIAN: With their fur all crispy.

LIZ: Some of them are just toothless.

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: Aw.

JULIAN: They're just little guys.

LIZ: They are.

PAZ: I'm not really sure what else happened at the gathering, besides everyone being like, we're fine after the fight. It was sort of uneventful.

JULIAN: It is kind of sweet how Sandstorm is like, where y'all going? Can I come?

PAZ: Yeah. I hope she gets to come next time.

JULIAN: Me too. I want her to meet Ravenpaw.

PAZ: Graystripe disappears again to go be with Silverstream. I guess that also happens, of course.

JULIAN: Yeah. Shocker.

PAZ: Shocker.

LIZ: Let's have a forbidden romance meetup in the middle of literally every single clan being here. That's really smart.

PAZ: I just can't. I can't with Graystripe.

LIZ: If he was gay, it would be valid. But he's not. He's very straight. So he isn't.

PAZ: Yeah. The straight energies he has right now are-- they're powerful. And I hope he gets better soon.

JULIAN: Yeah, I would feel much differently about this if Graystripe was like a lesbian fuckboi.

PAZ: Oh, I'd be rooting for Graystripe.

JULIAN: I'd be rooting for them. But he's not. He's a guy fuckboy. And that's just not as fun a flavor.

PAZ: Just no good.

LIZ: No. I think that's everything that happens, right?

PAZ: Yeah. Then we go on to the much better friend--

LIZ: Oh, wait, wait.

PAZ: Oh, what?

LIZ: Yeah, sorry. Just to, in class discussion voice, backtrack a bit. We have to mention Bluestar losing her kits. That's--

JULIAN: Oh yes.

LIZ: I joked about it. Like not joked about it, but I did mention it before. But that's a big point here.

PAZ: Yeah, it's part of what the old cats are talking about.

LIZ: Yeah. It's not like news, but it is a reminder from the authors because they probably mentioned it like in book one or something.

PAZ: I don't think they did. I think this might be the first we hear about it.

LIZ: No?

JULIAN: I think this is the first time, yeah. The first time we hear about her having had kits.

LIZ: Oh, okay then.

JULIAN: Which yeah, that's a pretty big plot point.

LIZ: Definitely not leading anywhere.

JULIAN: Bluestar's tragic backstory, unlocked.

LIZ: We gave her enough little gifts of her favorite thing. Sardines.

PAZ: Should we... chapter two, with Ravenpaw.

JULIAN: With Ravenpaw!

PAZ: Yay.

JULIAN: I was so excited when they started setting up that we were going to get to see Ravenpaw again.

PAZ: He comes back so much more than I would have thought. Which I am not complaining about.

LIZ: No.

JULIAN: There is a moment where Fireheart is like, oh, Ravenpaw looks so like well fed and sleek.

PAZ: I know.

JULIAN: I must look like shit. It's like yeah, buddy, you probably do.

PAZ: Yeah, maybe rethink that living out in the forest thing.

LIZ: Yep. Lots of barns probably around this country like area. Lots of cats needed. There's always gonna be mice there.

PAZ: Ravenpaw and Barley are just living the life. There's so many mice. And they're all really fat, apparently. Like well-fed, as Fireheart lovingly describes.

JULIAN: I don't like that Graystripe is like, well, Ravenpaw changed his story, so he might be lying.

LIZ: No.

JULIAN: And it's like, what the fuck?

PAZ: Another point in the Graystripe sucks column. He's so insensitive.

LIZ: Why? Why is he doubting so much?

PAZ: Yeah, I think he was doubting Ravenpaw last book too. I don't-- what's your fucking deal, Graystripe?

LIZ: Like, I don't-- oh, sorry. Go ahead.

JULIAN: No, maybe just because he's lying so much all the time that he's like, well, everyone else must be also lying.

LIZ: He's like, oh, this must be normal.

PAZ: Yeah, that's how he's like justifying it to himself.

LIZ: It's because it's not like-- he didn't have any antagonism towards Ravenpaw.

JULIAN: They were friends!

LIZ: He has no reason to think he's lying. Like Ravenpaw never lied to him personally or anything.

JULIAN: And it's like, this is the hill you're going to die on? Is that Ravenpaw must be lying and thus Tigerclaw must be telling the truth? That's what you think?

LIZ: And he's also afraid of Tigerclaw. He knows that Tigerclaw's like evil.

PAZ: No, but he doesn't-- he still is not concerned that Tigerclaw has murdered people, because apparently he's not convinced on that. He only cares about Tigerclaw now because Tigerclaw might ground him and say no more dating the girl across the street. Sorry if anyone likes Graystripe. He's just--

JULIAN: Yeah, sorry to our listeners.

PAZ: His crimes, they keep coming.

JULIAN: We had a brief moment of turnaround with Bri's question, where Bri was like, well, you know, he's dating this cool lady cat.

LIZ: I think she could do better.

PAZ: She could.

JULIAN: I think she could too.

PAZ: Yeah, so the Ravenpaw stuff is very sad, because he's still like, traumatized from it, recounting his story. And I think Fireheart is nice about it, as opposed to Graystripe. At least Fireheart has some sensitivity here.

JULIAN: He does a lot of like, is there anything else you can tell us? Like sort of like gentle prodding, instead of like, Graystripe's like, I don't think any of this helps at all. Like fuck off.

LIZ: You come to my gay barn. You eat my dinner that I lovingly farmed. How dare you. Get out of my barn. Don't let the cows kick you on the way back.

PAZ: Yeah, there's like a line like-- there's like, "'what's next?' Fireheart prompted gently." And then, "'please go on,' Fireheart mewed. He hated putting Ravenpaw through this, but he had to know the truth."

LIZ: Aw.

PAZ: Meanwhile, Graystripe just...

JULIAN: I don't know why he's in such a bad mood. Like, no one asked you to come. I mean, Fireheart probably did, but.

PAZ: Sandstorm would have been much better companion here.

LIZ: Yeah, wait, wait. No one asked him to come, and he said he would come, right? Wasn't that the whole thing?

JULIAN: Oh, yeah, he's like-- something about like this concerns us both, or like--

LIZ: Invites himself.

JULIAN: I want to support you or something.

PAZ: Yeah, basically.

LIZ: Invites himself on the trip. Eats your dinner. Is mean to you. Terrible.

PAZ: Aw.

LIZ: Also, I think he's like-- oh.

PAZ: Sorry. I'm just looking back. They all share tongues after that, at least.

JULIAN: Aw.

LIZ: [grumpily] Okay. They are just little guys. I'm never gonna be mad for that long.

PAZ: Poor Fireheart, with his optimism that Bluestar will believe him now.

JULIAN: I know. He's so just like, yeah, it'll be fine. It's gonna be good.

PAZ: Fireheart, the criminal justice system, it won't serve you.

LIZ: Unfortunately, your mom is just the president (derogatory).

JULIAN: Sorry, Fireheart, your mom is a girl boss. She's not gonna listen to you.

PAZ: It's terminal.

LIZ: I know my vice president keeps trying to kill children under my care, but he does agree with all my policies.

PAZ: I guess Graystripe might have a single use in this book, in finding out if Oakheart did die to a rockfall, but I have doubts on his ability to get that info.

JULIAN: Also, I do think it was kind of stupid of them not to bring any mice back.

PAZ: Well, their reasoning was like the mice would be like, too well fed, It would be suspicious, which I think is fair.

JULIAN: That is fair. But I feel like it's better to come back with too like, well fed mice than no mice at all.

PAZ: Yeah, maybe.

JULIAN: Optics-wise.

PAZ: But then the question would be like, where did you get these, as opposed to like, why didn't you bring any back?

JULIAN: That's true. Damn.

LIZ: I'm not saying they shouldn't have eaten, but.

PAZ: Yeah, I mean, Fireheart says they forgot to wash the scent off them, so I think they could have. They just--

JULIAN: They just weren't thinking.

LIZ: Sometimes you're hungry. Especially if you're just a stray cat.

JULIAN: They probably weren't thinking super well because they were hungry. Maybe that's why they make so many dumb decisions is they're all like, you know.

PAZ: That's super true.

JULIAN: I do dumb shit all the time when I'm like haven't eaten yet.

LIZ: Everyone's just hangry.

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: That makes so much sense.

JULIAN: They're all-- or like, you know, you just get really stupid sometimes when you haven't eaten.

PAZ: We do see WindClan on the way back.

JULIAN: We do.

PAZ: They're very nice.

JULIAN: They're very sweet. I did not think they would be so chill about Fireheart.

PAZ: They're the chillest clan. That's just true.

JULIAN: Like Fireheart is like, oh no, we got caught on their territory. They're gonna be mad. And they're just like, hey, what's up?

PAZ: They're like hey, you rule. Thanks for helping us. Bye.

LIZ: And you know this would not be the same if they went on ThunderClan territory.

PAZ: Oh, no.

JULIAN: No.

PAZ: No, because everyone is so mean to WindClan.

LIZ: For no reason. I mean, for shitty reasons. They're very well adjusted. They're just like--

PAZ: They really are.

LIZ: Yeah. This is what happens when you don't have evil Tiger-- I don't really know where I'm going with this actually.

JULIAN: This is what happens when you have gay leadership.

PAZ: Yeah. Exactly.

JULIAN: My mind immediately made a Tallstar-Mayor Pete comparison, which we cannot do.

PAZ: No, please. Do not. Do not smear his name like that.

JULIAN: I'm so sorry. Oh, chapter three.

PAZ: Yeah, what happens? I guess just, um, Tigerclaw calling them out.

JULIAN: Which, like, you know, it does look real bad.

LIZ: Yeah, it does.

PAZ: Yeah, once again, he's not wrong.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: But he probably also knows that they're trying to get dirt on him. He probably senses it. So he is wrong in that sense. Does Bluestar know Ravenpaw's alive? I forget. I feel like--

LIZ: She does.

PAZ: Yeah, yeah. Fireheart told her. Hopefully she didn't tell Tigerclaw that.

JULIAN: Woof.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: I feel like he would have done something by now. I don't know.

JULIAN: Yeah, I think he would have. So clearly she doesn't trust him completely.

LIZ: Yeah, I'm just imagining like the farmer who lives on the farm where Barley and Ravenclaw live is just like, why is this mean cat just hanging around suddenly? Found this mean cat in my chicken coop?

PAZ: Do you think they get pets from the farmer? I hope they do.

LIZ: Yes. Maybe.

JULIAN: I hope so. Although I don't know. A lot of times, barn cats, you can't really pet them.

PAZ: Maybe one pet.

LIZ: Maybe Barley? I think Ravenclaw's-- sorry, fuck. Damn it!

PAZ: You've done that so many times.

LIZ: We need to bleep that out. That is bad language. Ravenpaw is-- listen, it's very-- unfortunately it goes right into the Warrior Cats style of naming things. That's probably--

JULIAN: It does.

LIZ: It's a possibility of something he could have become if he stayed a warrior.

JULIAN: Like it is a valid Warrior Cats name. Ugh. The next--

LIZ: Okay. Ravenpaw's probably too skittish is what I was trying to say.

JULIAN: It is also like, there's-- like at the end of their confrontation-- or like, Bluestar takes them aside and is like, don't do this again. You have to go on a hunting patrol. And Graystripe-- or Tigerclaw is like, if I were clan leader, I'd have punished you properly. Which like, whatever. Fuck off. And then like calls Fireheart a kittypet and threatens him by being like, I saw you at the WindClan battle. And then Graystripe is like don't wind Tigerclaw up anymore. And it's like, he's not whining Tigerclaw up. Tigerclaw is just cat racist to him.

PAZ: Tigerclaw already tried to murder him. There's not much more wound up he can get.

JULIAN: Like Fireheart isn't even like saying anything back. Have your friend's back for once in your life.

PAZ: Yeah, he said something like the scene in chapter one. But this one, he just, he doesn't say anything back. He like hisses a little bit. And then Fireheart is, "I didn't ask for him to hate me."

JULIAN: Yeah. Aw.

LIZ: That's very sad, actually.

JULIAN: God.

PAZ: So yeah, the Sandstorm scene was cute. And it's also very funny that Dustpelt is extremely jealous, and Fireheart is like, I do not have the energy to care. Good night. Then there's a dream, with the wonderful prophecy, as we talked about.

JULIAN: Yep. We do have another mention of Spottedleaf's sweet scent.

LIZ: Oh my God. He's not like this with Sandstorm.

JULIAN: "Spottedleaf's sweet scent filled the air around him. Her voice sounded close to his ear. 'Remember, Fireheart,' she murmured. 'Water can quench fire.'" Like okay. Where is this energy coming from?

PAZ: There's also, "Fireheart bounded after her, admiring the dapple of moonlight on her fur."

JULIAN: The fuck?

LIZ: What? At least it's her fur and not her smell again. She is like-- it sounds like she's like a tortoise shell, right?

JULIAN: Yeah.

LIZ: That kind of makes sense.

PAZ: I guess. He's admiring it, though.

JULIAN: This is why I had a crush on Spottedleaf as a kid.

PAZ: It's so funny.

LIZ: Oh, they also do touch noses, which with cats is very cute.

PAZ: Yeah, her nose is described as "her soft pink nose."

LIZ: I don't know if I like that.

JULIAN: Every time.

PAZ: It's so funny. It feels like a bit but I know it's not.

LIZ: Why does only Spottedleaf get to be the sexy cat?

PAZ: It's so noticeable because she's the only one.

LIZ: It's very weird.

JULIAN: Wait, okay, I want to know if Spottedleaf has eyeshadow.

PAZ: Oh, please go look.

LIZ: Someone's done that.

JULIAN: I don't know if she ever shows up in the graphic novels though.

PAZ: She has to be there for at least a little bit.

LIZ: Like a dream sequence, too, maybe? Again--

JULIAN: All right.

LIZ: Pink nose. Very cute on a cat. Love it.

JULIAN: Official art-- she does not have any eyeshadow.

PAZ: No!

LIZ: Oh.

JULIAN: She actually does not look even particularly sexy.

PAZ: This is inaccurate.

JULIAN: Her eyes are drawn as like fully black, like black sclera, with little white dots and it's kind of terrifying.

PAZ: Okay, maybe that's on-- maybe she got possessed by a demon. She does have like that--

JULIAN: That might be when she's in StarClan.

PAZ: She does have-- that's kind of scary. She does have big old eyelashes in this other one, though.

JULIAN: Oh, yeah, she does.

PAZ: Yeah, but I can't-- what? I think Spottedleaf should have the sexy eyeshadow more than Sandstorm.

JULIAN: Um, I'm posting an image from presumably the cover of one of the, like one of the clan guides or whatever, where it's a picture of Spottedleaf, I guess with the rest of StarClan and her-- she's so round. She's perfectly round.

PAZ: Oh my gosh. Oh, that's a perfect cat.

LIZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: She looks exactly like some of the cat pillows that Liz was showing me earlier, that are just shaved like little bop-its.

LIZ: Look at her little pink nose.

PAZ: Oh, she's so cute.

JULIAN: There's her soft pink nose.

PAZ: It's very cute there.

LIZ: Yeah. She's also just a little guy.

PAZ: Sorry, sorry. Hold on. Sorry. I--

LIZ: Uh-oh.

PAZ: I was just looking. I was just looking through Google Images.

LIZ: Uh-oh.

PAZ: Just to see what's out there.

JULIAN: Uh-oh.

PAZ: Cinderpelt vs Spottedleaf, Epic Rap Battles of Warriors Number 6.

JULIAN: Number 6?!

LIZ: What? What would they rap about?

PAZ: I don't know. I'm so scared. I can't hit play.

JULIAN: As soon as I searched Cinderpaw-- Cinderpelt vs Spottedleaf, I got lyrics.

PAZ: Oh, can you recite them please?

LIZ: Oh my good--

JULIAN: Yeah, here they are listed on Smule, for karaoke. I cannot read these aloud.

LIZ: Oh no.

JULIAN: No, I guess I have to. I am not going to rap them though.

PAZ: No.

JULIAN: "Sit yourself down and prepare to be schooled. Don't think for a second you can play me as the fool. I can say with certainty your jealousy is showing because Spotty, when you're dead and gone, the world keeps on going."

LIZ: What? They--

JULIAN: Spottedleaf. "You've been blessed with my presence since the very beginning. I've graced every dream you've had the privilege of seeing. There's no competition when it comes to you and me. But what can I say? I'm just the queen of prophecies."

LIZ: Have they met?

JULIAN: Apparently in the Epic Rap Battles of Warriors, they have.

PAZ: I don't think there's a rivalry here at all.

LIZ: I think-- I don't--

JULIAN: Oh my god. They're fighting over Fireheart?!

PAZ: What? No.

LIZ: What?

PAZ: That's your dad.

LIZ: One of them's too old for him. The other one is a baby, and it's his dad.

PAZ: Oh, this is such cursed content.

JULIAN: Oh my god. Now it gets ableist.

PAZ: Oh god.

LIZ: Oh no.

JULIAN: Sandstorm appears.

LIZ: Oh. Oh no.

JULIAN: And is apparently ableist in her rap.

LIZ: She wouldn't be.

PAZ: Don't slander her like that.

LIZ: She's very-- she's been nice. Leave her alone. Don't do this to her.

JULIAN: All right. Well, the ending of this is, "whoa, whoa, hold up. Hold up. I'm mortified that we tried to fight over a guy. It might do us some good if we put the hate aside. Yeah, screw the tom. Let's have some girl pride. All together now. She-cats unite."

LIZ: Feminism is over.

PAZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: Um, yeah. So you can find this on Soundcloud and also YouTube and also just google Cinderpelt vs. Spottedleaf. And you too can hear--

PAZ: Good luck to anyone who actually listens to it.

JULIAN: Yeah, I can't hear this with my human ears.

PAZ: I would die.

LIZ: What year is this from?

JULIAN: 2015.

LIZ: I see.

JULIAN: Or now, not 2015. Sorry. Yep. 2015.

LIZ: Oh, I see.

JULIAN: User Blixemi. This has a million views?!

PAZ: Oh my god.

LIZ: Wow.

PAZ: What?

JULIAN: Yeah, this has 1 million views.

PAZ: This is a subculture I didn't know would be popular on Warrior Cats YouTube.

JULIAN: The most recent one is people I don't know. But two years ago they did Crowfeather versus Ashfur.

PAZ: Oh, you know those guys.

JULIAN: Yeah. Which was 600,000 views.

PAZ: Damn, people aren't bringing the same love to that.

JULIAN: Bringing the same, yeah.

PAZ: See, those are guys who would have an epic rap battle. I agree. That's some characterization right there. I don't even-- what were we talking about? Spottedleaf.

JULIAN: Spottedleaf. Epic rap battle.

PAZ: I couldn't remember how I got there. But yes, her sweet scent. I don't know, that's kind of the end of the reading. Just Fireheart wakes up, and he's like, I don't fucking understand what the hell she was talking about.

JULIAN: Yeah. Me neither, Fireheart.

PAZ: Yeah, me neither. And that's-- I don't know if I have much else to say about the reading. I think we covered a lot of it.

JULIAN: Yeah, I think we did a lot.

PAZ: A lot happened. A lot happened. We're only four chapters in.

JULIAN: Yeah, they were pretty robust chapters.

PAZ: They got a whole journey done in one chapter.

[meow]

If we don't have anything else to add, I thought-- I know we finished Fire and Ice, but I thought we could do a quick revisit to see what the Goodreads reviews have to say for it.

LIZ: Absolutely.

PAZ: I would love to know what the people think. So let me just open that up. So Fire and Ice has a overall rating of 4.38. Pretty good, I guess. I don't know. I don't use Goodreads much.

JULIAN: No, that's pretty good. I feel like most books that are pretty good tend to hover between four and five. Oh, there's also a reader Q&A section.

PAZ: Oh, yes, I was looking at that. Do you want to read that top question?

JULIAN: Yes. "What is your favorite character? Mine was Graystripe." Couldn't be us.

LIZ: 27 answers.

JULIAN: 27 answers, most of which are just a lot of people who say Ravenpaw. They're correct. Oh, here we go. "Bluestar because she's very brave. She trusts Fireheart and she is the wisest leader. I also like Yellowfang because even if she was from another clan, she dedicated the rest of her life to the ThunderClan." Yeah. Someone has commented on this to say, "Bluestar is mine too, but that's because she's flawed. She's not perfect, but that's what makes her a good leader."

LIZ: Hmm. Mm.

JULIAN: You know, debatable.

LIZ: You're allowed to have the take.

PAZ: That's one way to look at it, I guess.

JULIAN: I think someone is trying to get around the swear word filter because they've written "Fireheart: good. Spottedleaf: good. Tigerclaw: beach. Brokentail: beach."

PAZ: Got em. Okay, I'm looking at some reviews. Here's a good one. Alice Cullen rated it five stars over 12 years ago. "This book is the best ever besides Twilight."

LIZ: Aw, what year is this from?

PAZ: Over 12 years ago.

LIZ: Aw.

PAZ: So I can't do math. Whenever that was. "Warning, these books are addicting!!!!!" There's like 20 exclamation marks. "Don't pick up this book without having time to read the whole series."

LIZ: I would like to point to a review in the favorite character question. So I guess an answer from someone who has a lot of-- who just says like they can't choose between a lot of characters, but their icon is I think Sans Undertale. The vibes here are pretty, pretty good.

PAZ: Hold on. There is someone RPing in these ratings.

LIZ: Yes!

JULIAN: Yes, yes, yes.

PAZ: Logan, about two years ago. "Warrior Clan group ThunderClan, leader Nightstar, deputy Silverstone."

LIZ: The natural habitat for this.

JULIAN: Y'all, I found a one star reading from Mr. Coomey, teacher. "This book is all about Fireheart, nothing else."

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: He's the protagonist.

LIZ: He's the main character!

JULIAN: From October 13, 2012. And then, five years later, Abby H. comments, "He is the main character..."

LIZ: Get 'em, Abby.

PAZ: I don't know. Abby is like, are you sure you're teaching right? Where's your reading comprehension?

JULIAN: Mr. Coomey? We also have a one star review from Irina, who says "come on, people. The spelling and grammar? I spotted over 76 mistakes."

LIZ: That's quite a lot.

PAZ: I don't think I did.

LIZ: I don't think these books are particularly grammatically or spelling-wise that bad.

JULIAN: Yeah, I did not particularly notice.

LIZ: No.

JULIAN: Irina, you have a future as a copy editor, I guess.

LIZ: Wait a second. Wait a second. Wait a second. "Topic. What are your thoughts on Graystripe going against the warrior code and meeting Silverstream?"

PAZ: Oh, what do the people say?

JULIAN: [gasps] Oh.

LIZ: Oh, wait, I'm gonna give you guys the link. "I feel like Graystripe should have known better than to betray his clan and go and meet Silverstream. I was honestly quite upset and mad that he made this decision."

PAZ: Yeah, I agree, Maya.

LIZ: "But I started the third book and I can't wait to see what happens next."

PAZ: Maya from 2015, come onto our podcast, and we want to hear your thoughts and predictions.

LIZ: They seem very complicated. Yeah.

JULIAN: Celeste also.

PAZ: Oh, Maya does give her predictions.

LIZ: Ooh.

JULIAN: Oh?

PAZ: "I have two possible predictions, one that Graystripe and Silverstream will leave both of their clans and live on their own. Two, Graystripe will leave ThunderClan and join RiverClan." Interesting, Maya.

LIZ: Solid predictions.

JULIAN: Celeste also says, "I didn't feel much about it one way or the other with Graystripe's meeting up with Silverstream. Other than that he put a lot of extra burden on his friend Fireheart."

PAZ: True.

JULIAN: "Who was dealing with wondering if Tigerclaw was really as dangerous as Ravenclaw was making him out to be."

LIZ: [muffled] Mm!

JULIAN: "Or that Tigerclaw was just as--"

LIZ: Mm-mm.

JULIAN: "--loyal and dependable as the majority of the clan--"

LIZ: Julian!

JULIAN: [laughing] "--and Redtail's death happened exactly as Tigerclaw said."

LIZ: Julian, you can keep talking, but I heard what you said.

JULIAN: What did I say?

LIZ: You said-- you said the thing. You said Ravenclaw.

JULIAN: Oh my god.

[laughter]

I didn't even notice.

PAZ: I'm surprised that so far two people have seemed in line with our thoughts.

JULIAN: Yeah, no, people have turned on it.

PAZ: Oh my god. Somebody went and came and commented on this thread from like, six years ago ten months ago.

Ooh.

JULIAN: I feel like the Goodreads thread seemed to have a lot of longevity.

LIZ: I hope you get notifications for it. You probably do.

JULIAN: Oh, me too.

LIZ: Just like this comment you posted in 2015. And someone just comes in and is like, actually!

JULIAN: Well, actually.

PAZ: Sorry, there is a-- I cannot parse this review. Ian rated it three stars over two years ago. "You know how you watch a TV show and the characters always wear the same clothing? Like for 10 years and they're still wearing the same clothes? And you want something to happen but circumstances always thwart out the thing you want to happen? That's what this feels like."

LIZ: I don't think so. It feels very different.

PAZ: "It's not bad. It was written for young readers and they will love this book. Me, I'm enjoying it despite the flaws." Ian, I don't know what you're talking about.

LIZ: Part of why it's so upsetting is that everyone is like growing up in a very upsetting way. One of them is just not even there anymore. He moved. Also, they do not wear clothes.

PAZ: Yeah, I don't understand what that comment meant.

LIZ: It sounds like it's about static characterization, but it isn't. Not really.

PAZ: No, I don't-- I don't know.

JULIAN: Great news.

LIZ: I mean, except for I guess Tigerclaw's still evil.

JULIAN: We got a two star review from Angela from 2019. "Dammit, Graystripe." That's it.

PAZ: Angela, yeah.

LIZ: Angela, I know you're still reading these books. Come on our podcast.

JULIAN: Oh boy, Liz Henry has shelved it-- two star review, but has shelved it "good gender politics."

PAZ: Mm. Uh.

JULIAN: I don't know about that one, Liz.

LIZ: I'd say they're below neutral.

PAZ: Cryptid rated it three stars. "'I'm a man now, Fireheart,' said Graystripe. A summary."

JULIAN: Gregory, two stars. "I didn't like this book because it wasn't pulling me in and it was very boring. Like no fights or battles, just about what went on in the different clans. I think that this book is only for people who like to be informed about their reading all the time."

LIZ: It's the whole political intrigue for kids.

PAZ: Maryann rated it four stars. "Reread 8/8/17. This is better than I remembered. Reread 1/3/20. No, Maryann, it wasn't better than you remembered."

JULIAN: Oh no! Oh no.

LIZ: Lily from 2012 gives it four stars and says, "this is a very good book. It shows teamwork and how good it is to help each other out. I liked when Fireheart and Graystripe helped get WindClan home." And then some more about teamwork.

PAZ: Yeah, me too.

LIZ: Lily, good for you.

PAZ: Here's one from Juan, rated it four stars. "I'm a simple man. I read a description of Cloudkit doing literally anything, and I start crying." Me too. He's just a little baby.

LIZ: Tiffany from 2009 marked it as to read. Her only comments are, "Oh, fire. Ice."

PAZ: Yeah, that was me at the very last episode.

LIZ: Tiffany, did you read this? I hope you did. It's still marked as to read.

PAZ: Here's Neil with four stars, about two years ago. "I do wonder why don't the clans just talk to one another? I can understand the need for territorial boundaries, but why the mistrust and secrecy? Perhaps all will be explained as the story continues."

LIZ: Perhaps.

PAZ: Perhaps. Neil, that's a great question. Why don't they just talk to each other?

JULIAN: Ooh, incisive gender politics commentary from user Drakeryn, who read this in February 2021. "Critique of Warrior Cat society. Why are all the dads such deadbeats? Mamas everywhere, fussing over their kits, carrying their kits to safety--"

PAZ: True.

JULIAN: "--being frantic over their missing kits. But the dads are conspicuously absent. At Cinderpaw and Brackenpaw's apprenticeship ceremony their mom watched them proudly. But their dad couldn't even be bothered to show up. That's cold. Do better, toms."

PAZ: Damn. Called out.

LIZ: Three star review from just like-- let me check, like 19 days ago. 20 days ago.

JULIAN: Oh my god.

LIZ: Math is very bad. This month, from Dennis, who says, "okay, it's clear my favorite cats are lovers, not fighters."

PAZ: I need to know who Dennis considers a lover.

LIZ: It doesn't say. Damn.

PAZ: Ravenpaw, obviously. I don't know, I can't think of anything else.

JULIAN: Oh, here we go. Danielle Lee, three stars, January 1, 2021. "I can't believe this is going to be my first book of 2021. Can I just say, Graystripe, you beeotch."

LIZ: Get him.

PAZ: You know, we were having a hard time finding Graystripe dislikers. I think they were all just on Goodreads.

JULIAN: They were all in the Goodreads comments.

LIZ: Goodreads reviewers, listen, if you're still there, give us an email. Come on our podcast.

PAZ: Wendy three years ago gave it 4.5 stars. She makes a-- she sure makes a comment. "It's a bit like Game of Thrones, only with cats and a middle grade audience." Exactly. It's just like Game of Thrones only with cats.

JULIAN: Just like Game of Thrones.

LIZ: There's an equivalent amount of child murder attempts, right?

JULIAN: Incredible.

PAZ: Aw, here's someone over three years ago commenting on baby Onewhisker in all caps, excited. "Oh man, before he had to toughen up, he sure was a cutie. Cloudkit, love that little atheist."

LIZ: Wait, is Cloudkit gonna be an atheist?

PAZ: I don't remember. I don't remember this. I guess so.

LIZ: I guess that makes sense if your basis of religion is just other cats who--

PAZ: Who are all racist towards you.

LIZ: Yeah. You know what? Go on, Cloudkit. I'm supporting you. This baby is an atheist. Oh, my God. Review from Lacey from 2020. "My granddaughter has been reading the series and wanted me to read them too. I finally gave in. I truly like the books."

JULIAN: Aw.

LIZ: Aw.

PAZ: That's so cute.

LIZ: Good for her.

JULIAN: That's really sweet.

LIZ: Grandma book. Also, Julian, do you have to go grocery shopping soon?

JULIAN: I do need to go grocery shopping soonish.

PAZ: Well, there's some very good Goodreads comments, but Julian must grocery shop, so we should wrap it up.

JULIAN: I'm glad that we've found-- this is a deep mine.

PAZ: Yeah, we found the bastion of Graystripe dislikers, too.

LIZ: We've got to return to Goodreads.

PAZ: Yeah, we should definitely return to it once we've finished every book. I must know what the people think. Too bad I didn't think of this before.

JULIAN: Oh my god. Really incredible question here from-- let's see. A Goodreads user, six years ago. "Is StarClan the heavens?" Reagan: "Pretty much, but there isn't a king or queen."

PAZ: What?

LIZ: Is there a king or queen of heaven? Well, wait.

PAZ: I don't know.

JULIAN: There is not a king of heaven. Unless you count God.

LIZ: Do people count God?

PAZ: I don't--

JULIAN: I mean, I guess like people do talk about like the kingdom of heaven.

PAZ: That's true.

JULIAN: And like Christ the King, but like that's usually-- it's meant to be sort of a metaphor.

PAZ: Well.

JULIAN: Oh good. Sorry. Division 6 Mrs. Anima's class: "StarClan is a safe place in the clouds where the fallen kits, warriors, queens, all cats go to rest in peace. Do you understand? Sabrina, one of the grade fives of Mrs. Anima's class."

LIZ: Aw.

PAZ: Aw.

JULIAN: Thanks, Sabrina.

PAZ: Do you understand?

LIZ: It is very cute that the book is getting kids to ask these questions.

JULIAN: Important questions.

PAZ: I wish I was taught Warriors in my class.

LIZ: Man, we should talk about what we read as fifth graders or whatever because that would be very interesting. But Julian must go grocery shopping.

JULIAN: Cockblocked for my need for food.

LIZ: Aren't we all? Alright.

PAZ: Well, that's gonna do it for us this week. Thank you everyone for joining us as we start another book. Hope everyone is having the time. I don't know why I said that. As always, you can find the show @staircast on Twitter. You can send in questions and/or anecdotes to stairwaytostarclan@gmail.com. Listen wherever you get your podcasts and have a good week. Until next time, may StarClan light your path. Bye.

LIZ: Bye everyone.

JULIAN: Bye.

[outro music]