#also not us legitimately taking damage lmao IT'S HARD OUT HERE???

[saltpepperbeard]

so glad you're back Jodi <333 i missed reading your tags like

sorry you had a tough/busy time and i hope it gets better from now on 💗

IDA, goodness, this is so sweet shdjkshdks i'm rolling around on the floor and crying tbh <3

Thank you so so much; I REALLY HOPE SO, TOO. I definitely missed being around/having the energy to Properly Scream, ESPECIALLY at all the loveliness and talent such as your own! <333

Speaking of which, I hope you're feeling better, and if the aches and pains don't leave you alone I'm going to fly over and fight them myself 🔪🔪🔪

[apocalyptic-dancehall]

Claptrap!!

OHOHOHO first to the punch!

- favorite thing about them

SO MANY THINGS TO CHOOSE UHUURRHRG but if it had to be like one or two: his voice and his undying loyalty.

pre-ffs claptrap's voice is so unique, and it can get oddly soothing in a way, and it just makes me so fucking jealous and his loyalty because even though he's a scaredy-cat he's still a raider at the end of the day (also the scene where he declines shadowtrap's offer to rule the goddamned universe because he genuinely loved his 'friends' fucks so hard)

- least favorite thing about them

not easy for me to say. claptrap's got tons of flaws but they're easily either linked to his horrendous 'childhood'/his bl1 antics/his time as fragtrap. i'd go off on a limb and say that he's waaay too naïve for his own good. even then it's less of a criticism and more of the fact that it always gets him into trouble :<

- favorite line

again! hard for me to say, but i've always loved the little sounds he makes when he jumps on a gravity pad. eup! and when he tried to stand up to flynt, it felt so cool because he finally bites back! (granted he did cower because 'geddit he's a pussy'-brand bl2 humor)

and then there's the part in bl2 where claptrap says this golden line: "You killed my friends! You destroyed my product line! I am the last CL4P-TP in existence, and I am going to TEABAG YOUR COOOOORPSE!" // absolute king shit

and when he calls everyone out for being an ASSHOLE to him in the pre-sequel, it's such a good moment in an already awesome dlc!

all in all claptrap has so many good quotes hhh

- brotp

a lot. gaige and claptrap are arguably at the top of that list, and i can never see them as anything more than friends/besties. angel and clap are a close second tho! also thanks to you the bl3 vhs are somewhere on the list hehe

- otp

uh.. 👉👈 obviously not a whole lot considering that most of the universe hates his guts lmao but traplicity/felicitrap/(insert felicity x claptrap ship name here) would've been SO COOL had jack not been a little greedy bitch baby and kill her off.. :(

not my only one but definitely a topper

- notp

jack. and claptrap. obvious reasonings aside i read this one fic of the two on ff.net and never recovered. took 999999 psychic damage. angel and claptrap, again, obvious reasonings 2: electric boogaloo. shadowtrap and claptrap for.. well duh. (they're bros to me and it'd feel weird.)

okay i feel like explaining the first notp a little more because it irks me to death. jack and claptrap have a kinda parent-child relationship. jack also canonically abused the shit out of claptrap which is double icky. it wouldn't be out of place that they'd have the most lopsided, shittiest relationship because jack's not only claptrap's employer, but also he generally has more power over him in general because he's hyperion property and uhm.. yeah. ew.

- random headcanon

1. he's like a little magpie. he collects the shiny™ and hoards 'em in his room. chances are he might actually have something of use there

2. by bl3 his voicebox is fucked, and rarely come the times where he tries to say stuff it comes out all staticky and shit. and sometimes it peaks and uh.. becomes 10 leagues beyond unbearable.

3. also bl3, he stops taking a lot of shit. like he'd still cower and stuff but whenever some rando talks shit about him he'd fight back (verbally. i think he'd rarely ever get into legitimate scuffles esp bc he's not a fragtrap anymore) and it kinda works-ish.

- unpopular opinion

i don't got much because the most i've got is a: claptrap should've gotten a much more significant role in 3, and b: i think claptrap recovering more of his old combat data, which also leads up to shadowtrap's possible return should be a thing. no way in hell they're gonna forget about this one essential part of cv and tp-s!

- song i associate with them

considering my taste in songs is otherwise shit and/or vocaloid: amygdala's rag doll - ghost (we've talked about this hehhe) or world's end dancehall - wowaka (which honestly isn't as fitting but imo it's kinda in-line with him. // also it's got themes of suicide in the lyrics so you might wanna avoid it if that stuff bothers ya) (i make up imaginary amvs with him and shadowtrap it's so fun)

- favorite picture of them

this screenie of claptrap with his cord-tail-thing in the bl1 main menu

i kinda like that it just randomly pops out when he sneezes

[godtier]

AI art detection methods: a starter guide

so here it is, my starter guide on how to detect AI art.

to set the tone of this guide: i am not really the type to go full-ass pitchforks and torches and call someone a bad person or dumb for liking, reblogging, or even using AI art for inspiration/mood board/etc purposes without knowing that it was AI generated in the first place.

it has become incredibly difficult to detect these things as the models are becoming more and more accurate with certain subjects. it's why i decided to write this guide in the first place. i take these situations as learning opportunities, to use corpo speak lmao, and so i don't think there's any value in shaming anyone for liking/reblogging smth "SO OBVIOUSLY AI."

they might not have known, so teach them!

after all, everyone starts somewhere, so it's best to help teach when you can! do not use these methods to bully people or falsely accuse people because i will know and be very disappointed in you. >:(

so if you are concerned about reblogging something that is AI-generated, for whatever reason it may be, i can provide some quick[citation needed] tips that i use to detect it with some level of accuracy. this is especially useful when people don't tag their pictures as AI-generated.

PLEASE NOTE: this is not, by any means, meant as a catch-all, 100% success rate way of detecting AI art. learning models are trained off of existing art styles, after all, and you may come across a legitimate artist whose style is widely replicated by algorithms. this can give the perception that the artist is the one faking it.

check your work before accusing anyone. in fact, don't do public callouts unless you have irrefutable proof. a hunch or coincidences are not irrefutable proof. it'll save everyone a lot of headaches if you end up being wrong and you could also potentially damage someone's career (and risk getting sued for it).

a lot of these steps come with the expectation that you will do some legwork to figure out if something is actually a generated image or not. it's not always the same every time and it will rapidly change depending on what model is used and what prompts are used. these are guidelines, not tenets.

anyway, in no particular order:

one: stylistic and subject consistency

if you see a post in which several images are presented in a way that suggests they are a set (i.e.: the same subject at different angles), check for consistency.

a bouquet of flowers should not have the flowers positioned in different ways or omitted entirely between shots, especially if you suspect it's meant to be presented as photography. most photographers won't rearrange flowers between shots unless they're trying to achieve a specific sort of effect. in short, if it's just a few aspects of the subject that are omitted but the general piece looks "the same," it's probably not a photo. if it's presented as a hand-drawn piece, rearranged or missing pieces are also a flag; speaking as an artist, if i were to redraw something at a different angle, i wouldn't omit stuff that should still be visible in the new angle.

it is also good to check the artist's blog for consistency in style; if they are posting a lot of really detailed landscapes in one style and then posting anime-style stuff in another, that can be a flag.

that's not to say that artists cannot have multiple styles (i do!) but it's exceedingly rare that someone who is a wizard at photorealistic ethereal landscapes would also be a wizard at big tiddy animu waifus and amazingly smooth calarts style cartoons. i'm talking like "this looks like it was a cel from an anime" and "this looks like a painting in the louvre." that level of dissonance.

dissonance is key; if it seems weird, be a little wary and look into it further.

two: lighting

AI models often struggle with lighting A LOT. no matter what the subject is, the lighting will oftentimes be incorrect in a lot of pieces. this can be hard for people to notice, but the light source should be consistent.

let's look at an example:

this fellow has a gigantic sun lighting the background. we can see that the background objects (such as what i think are trees?) are lit with that in mind for the most part. however, the foreground appears to be lit from the right (subject's left). with a light source that gigantic in the background, even in a cartoonish style, one would think the subject would be more in shadow, like this:

as a side-tangent, this is why a huge rule of thumb with photography is that the sun should be in front of the subject, unless you're going for a stylistic choice like this. reason being is the sun overtakes the entire frame when in the back.

of course, actual real-life artists struggle with this too! in which case, your best bet is to look at the artist's previous posts and see if there's consistency, as in point one.

three: types of mistakes and other common traits

so one way to check if you suspect a piece is AI generated is to look for the commonly known mistakes or "tells." you want to drill down, basically, from easiest to hardest to detect/notice:

on human/humanoid subjects, the most obvious one (to the point of it being a meme) is how the fingers/toes look. such as too many/not enough, but not done in a deliberately stylized way (i.e.: an anime waifu drawn in the style of genshin impact having 4 fingers is likely not a stylistic choice since it's not a typically cohesive thing to do since everything else will look more "realistic." by contrast, a cartoony phinneas & ferb-style character may be expected to only have 4 fingers and simplistic clothing or accessories).

too many/not enough arms/legs. legs that appear where they shouldn't (i.e.: a character sitting cross-legged but then an extra leg somehow hanging down off a chair, etc).

blurry/uneven lines. this one might be hard to visualize, so the best way i can describe it is when you copy and paste something in photoshop or even MS paint and then move it over slightly. it creates a jagged edge:

here's our happy example man that i drew using a touchpad lmao. he's v happy in the first picture!

but then in the second picture, we can see that he's sprouted a new arm (incidentally, he's still happy)! but it doesn't look right, does it? it's because i copied a selected area and pasted it, then moved it down slightly.

you will find a lot of AI art will have aspects to it that look very similar to this, typically in areas where there's a lot of repetition, like grass or clouds.

weirdly detailed "bloom" or "smoothness" to the point of something looking very artificial, even for an artificial subject. the willy wonka knock-off installation in glasgow used images that are very obviously AI generated and embody this weirdness pretty clearly:

"bloom" is basically a term for nearly airbrushed-looking lighting. look closely and you'll see that everything has this sort of "sheen" or "glow" to it in a way that makes it look very strange and unnatural, but not in a way that looks handmade.

impossible geometry and/or landscapes that don't make logical sense. this one is probably one of the harder ones to detect because it often requires staring at an image for a bit, like a hidden object puzzle. to use the willy wonka knock-off pic again, the waterfall itself doesn't make sense:

where is the water coming from? it appears that it's coming from straight above just going by the direction of the "strokes" there, but as we see, there is no water source feeding this waterfall. it looks like the AI sort of started to create a waterfall on the rocks/grassy part above but got distracted or something halfway through (which is something that happens a lot with algorithms, oddly enough).

background objects that look fine at a glance, but when taken apart individually, are very odd/slapped together.

at a glance, this looks to be just a stock image of someone's drawing of a bunch of US currency and whatnot. but looking closer:

sure is a square-looking dollar bill there!

and on the other image, it appears as though the currency strap is melting/merging into the bill...? along with a coin? or something?

to another point similar as above, algorithms will also do a lot of "like with like." that is to say, they have a hard time delineating between objects when those objects are close to the same color or shade and also positioned very close together. it's often why fingers can merge together into a mush/stump on humanoid subjects. so for that currency strap example, it's a cream-ish color that is very close to the light green seen on the dollar bill design's negative space. this is likely why the algorithm merged them together; it doesn't know exactly what it's doing, so objects will bleed into each other as long as it still gives the impression of the goal object/output.

four: don't beat yourself up over it

in closing, a piece of AI art will almost always look "confident." it'll also almost look perfect and skilled in that way when first looking at it. and though it may be distractingly perfect in that first glance, it will likely look incredibly imperfect when you look closer. imperfect in the way an algorithm would mess up.

that's honestly a large part as to why many people don't pick up on what pieces are generated vs not. these pieces are eye-catching and skillfully presented enough to the point of people not noticing the finer details. the more "technically skilled" a piece is, the more often that people will gloss past the mistakes. how many times have you seen posts where someone says, "i find new things in this piece every time i look at it?" that's why. we're wired to look at the big picture, literally. and that's not anyone's fault. so don't beat yourself up over it or think you're an idiot if you weren't able to tell the difference.

remember: this is an insanely new thing. while image generating itself isn't necessarily new, and programs like photoshop and other image editing software have been using algorithms for many of their functions for probably well over a decade now, this specific type of image generation is still fresh. and it's constantly changing. unless you're in the tech space, you may not even realize the advancements being made, and that's okay! you can always learn more. just be alert and aware, as this will also help you combat a far more sinister issue, which is deep fakes and other false info being spread. double-check everything.

so those are the main methods to start with if you want to try and improve your generated image detection abilities! i hope this post was informative and helpful!

[the-acid-pear]

I just can't get enough it seems, time to start the next Baki the Grappler book!

It seems that this one will take on the saga i saw on the anime (at least by the end) so that's exciting

Chapter 1

First off quality is SHIT lmao

Yesss i remember this. I still think that shit about everyone trembling is a lil... Mmmm bullshit.

Baki be like <:] but in a smug way

Look at Tokugawa my man

OH RIGHT HE LEFT THE TOURNAMENT WITH A CAST

This feels so random

Oh right the synchronicity shit

Baki is so -_- in this manga

Look at the old timer go

YEAH FR TOKUGAWA JUST BROUGHT EXPLOSIVES TO A SCHOOL FULL OF CHILDREN TO MAKE A SHITTY ANALOGY SHSHWKWGGE FREAK OLD MAN

Chapter 2

Ahegao

Epic grandpa

HO NICE

Mf really swam thru the Pacific ocean

Chapter 3

Huh i thought he was Scottish

This random guy was pretty interesting looking, the one executing Doyle

Fucked up shit how they still do this stuff

King, i can somehow still remember his voice in particular fsr

Also since no one reads this i will say it: Doyle does NOT look white ahagdbafhsdbc

I like that he didn't bother killing the doctor

Is that Strydum? 🥺👉👈

Chapter 4

Shagddjd i was going to say that, this dude could have easily taken a different path from violence

GAARN? MY MAN? MY BELOVED GARLAND? IS HE ALIVE STILL?!

FFS NOT FOR LONG HHH LOOK HOW THEY MASSACRED MY BOY...

I mean it's fair, Sirkosky uses weapons, but man, Garland... :'/

This all hits so different once you know the characters :]]]

Chapter 5

That pic is still so brutal

What an absolute troll shsshwgxgd

Also fun fact when i watched the anime i didn't pay much attention at first so I assumed the Russian was Spec (i didn't even know Sirkosky's name)

I love how that was unnecessary shagdhsr

ADAGDFAGAFAD this guy was also great

Spec was fucking insane man aggsggahsfg

I love he's full of tattoos

The absolutely king

OH RIGHT Spec is sus *laugh track*

Chapter 6

Oh hell yeah, grandpa's ex

Baki tf you doing there in the cover you madlad

...bottom storage.

THEY ARE SO MEAN LEAVE HIS SHORT ASS ALONE SHSGJSGS

He's my size btw

Was there a motive for him to be naked or was he just a freak btw?

I love the shape of his eyes ngl

I love how scared the guards are while he just calmly rambles

I don't wanna call yanagi my grandpa because i think yanagi can get it and it would be like calling him daddy but the Gilf™ is Dorian man life is so hard when you are me

I love Yanagi's face lol he's handsome

Chapter 7

Poor Baki lmao he just got better from the maximum tournament and now this

Lmao Baki has a point

Unnecessary, Doyle

Chapter 8

I love how they were recruiting dangerous mfs to beat up this random guy bc his vibes are fucked up

This guy looked a lot like jack

You gotta be brave to shove a knife that sharp into your pants

I love how Baki literally did nothing to em

Baki's face just looks wrong this isn't my beloved child

Imagine you are about to fight this mf and he just shoves his hand inside his pants

Chapter 9

This dude really looks like, fully japanese jack hanma

JWGWKEGWKSGE I LOVE HIM

I love how Spec just showed up dressed up as a fucking monk or something

Chapter 10

You guys know, Dorian reminds me of my now dead great grandfather, with the moustache look even more.

Not impressed, 15 yo Hanayama did the same when throwing a tantrum

He's so insane i luv him

Okay but look at the cut of that outfit look at how well it hugs his chest and waist but flows bellow... Spec my dude you could have been a mad good model 😐 he's even giving me gender envy! 🥺

I love how Baki used both his hands for the handshake

Chapter 11

Ho, speak of the devil, i was just talking of this fucker with Blood

Mf got so old

I like how there was no motive for him to be naked he literally is just Like That

Also it's from here that he got that wasp waist lmao

Mf just flexing at this point lmao

GRANDPA!! <3

Yanagi got cake

That's so unnecessary rude, obsessed. Also, as if you weren't old Yanagi. I see why they broke up now ;/

Chapter 12

11 and 12 are the same fsr

Chapter 13

I honestly wonder where these prisoners got their clothes, like, aside from Doyle that one time everyone else is never shown shopping or even owning money

Also i love the fact that on a daily basis i dress the same as Spec, that definitely says something bout me jagsjsgwhwfwg 😭

To be honest, considering the size of Spec's body, they should definitely feed him more

He didn't wash his hands 😢

Dick and balls too strong ajgshsgsg

I love how fucking, polite he is.

Oh i see, i thought he might have stolen a wallet or something but nah

Btw i genuinely don't remember shit JAGSKSGWJGS even if it watched the anime i forgot most of this

Chapter 14

GOD the way the anime butchered Katsumi, he's so handsome in the manga in comparison 😐

Also i like how they aren't explaining this like, Katsumi was the one who lost, did he wait until Retsu was okay to fight again in HIS ("") dojo?!

RETSU STOP DOING THESE SORT OF TRICKS THAT'S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE AJDGSJSG

HE'S JUST BUILT DIFFERENT

Okay he actually explained, oddly nice of Retsu to accept tho

Hoho this scene hits different now that i know and like Katsumi

Also I'm not even gonna question where Doppo is, dude is never just around skdgksgd

Chapter 15

I love this genre of cover

WHITE BOY SJDGSJGSHS-

I love that retsu is just watching, he's still an asshole QJGSJSGWH

If i didn't know Katsumi I would say he died

I did actually think he had died when watching the anime

Retsu still has his thicc ass i see

Chapter 16

See all this makes sense now that i know retsu and the shit he has seen and been thru!

Angry lad, lucky his hair didn't burn

I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE HE EXTINGUISHED THE FIRE WITH HIS SCREAM

Chapter 17

Ahegao in the cover

I'm looking at the pages and I'm obsessed with Doppo being described as a "bold, badass karate master", it's so accurate <3

Also Igari being called eccentric, and the mention he defeated Mount Toba!! <3

Baki is slowly looking more like Baki

"my mother is dying"

Tasks keep failing successfully

Chapter 18

mAh boy...

That happens and it's the worst

Musashi you good boy 🥺

Chapter 19

Igari <33

That's insane

Chapter 20

I love that Igari looks legitimately worried and sad, not sweating tho

I love how he didn't have any serious damage until the punches like, okay.

Poor Igari tho

DID HE CHEW EM OFF OR SOMETHING? SHSHWGEGCH

Was anybody going to tell me is Sikorsky and not Sirkosky?

Also i love how legitimately scared Tokugawa is, probably more than when Yujiro picked him up

Chapter 21

The heights are so off in this saga

Oh my fucking god i didn't know Spec was 221

Either heights are all over the place or Yanagi is not 160

Either way HOW CAN YOU BE THAT SMALL? 🤣

GAFSFWEAD Tokugawa like "i own this place 😐"

Doyle is still the most decent one of the bunch

URSURSUTSUSTSRU

LOOK AT YANAGI DORIAN AND SIKORSKY ALREADY GETTING THEIR HANDS READY SBDGSHW

I googled how big Andreas from the tournament was and like, 2.40 😦

LET'S GOOOOO EVEN WITH A BEARD OMFG 😳😳😳

I see Hanayama descended into alcoholism after losing in the tournament. Also tf is with that bag? Was he hiking or something?

Jsgsjsgd Shibukawa is so excited too

I think this is chronically the first time Doppo appears with fully casual clothes, usually he either was in a suit or in his karate uniform

I'm straight up simping to the public now sgsjsgwhw

Chapter 22

LOOK AT THESE DUDES..... 💞

FUCK I WAS GONNA SAY THERE WERE MORE BAD THAN GOOD GUYS THEN LOOKED DOWN AND REALIZED THAT NO, SHIBUKAWA WAS JUST NEARLY OUT OF FRAME 😭

They all look so upset about that information

SIKORSKY NAME GOT SPELLED AS SILCOSKI...

Looking at them drives me insane i developed such a bond with all these fighters

I haven't seen Doppo this excited since last time his wife showed up

BAKI SWEARING?! 😰

How did Tokugawa grab Baki's shoulder?

ALSO WHY TF IS BAKI SO SURPRISED AS IF HE DIDNT GO AROUND BEATING UP PEOPLE WHEN HE WAS 13...

Don't worry Baki y'all will, Tokyo is not that big it seems

Shibukawa swearing 😨

"Imagine being mid but and Spec pulls up on you" "imagine having sex and she takes the mask and it's fucking Spec"

To be fair i would fuck a 2.21 muscular lady without going "hmmm this doesn't seem like a good idea..." in any moment

Chapter 23

I love how Dorian is just looking up

ACTUALLY ALL THEIR STANCES, Yanagi making dead eye contact with Gouki, Sikorsky with a firm pose just as Hanayama, Doyle with hiss chest up but eyes down giving a sense of pride, and, well, then there's Spec being Spec.

I like seeing Sikorsky having fun

I love Spec he played so smart SGSGSGS

😳 love wins!

Oh i had already forgotten about the dojo

Old man Dorian just has that effect on people

Threesome i see /j

He really was just fucking hiking i would love if they ever explained that ough 🥺

Did his facial hair just disappear?? STSGSFSD

BWHEKEGWJG THEY REALLY JUST FORGOT TO ADD IT FOR ONE PANEL IM OBSESSED

Such a good kick tho

The relationship these men can have is so oddly nice like not Doppo and Retsu specifically but all of the fighters in general. Like many of them barely know each other, but they all know their fighting styles and respect each other, plus have no reason to be in bad terms with one another and specially not now that they are all fighting for the same cause. It's just so nice to see em idk JAGSHS

Hey Igari.

Chapter 24

Thank God Doppo went <3 again it had been so long

Babe are you okay? You hadn't put a lil heart in your speech bubble for a while...

King really punched the fire

I will chose to believe that's true bc it's impressive 😍

You know it's funny like, Katsumi is mad good but he doesn't has as much experience as his dad and that leaves him in disvantage

Hehe i remember that guy

The manga is so much better than the anime ffs

I love that he didn't even realize

Chapter 25

Manga i don't think that's science

Also Baki just chilling with some doves lmao

I'm looking thru old messages see how my og reaction to this was

Huh i found nothing, that's odd. Well my reaction would have probably been like NOOOOO anyway so, y'all can imagine it

You left my dilf handless you fucking asshole good thing he has a wife

Imagine this dude cuts your hand and then just flexes his knowledge about science or whatever

HSSGGSFS THEY FIXED THE NO BEARD ERROR

Illiterate king <3

A guy did this to me once btw!!! Obviously in way smaller scale but he just touched something and the bleeding soon stopped!!!!

Honestly that's the most huge dick energy thing Doppo has ever done

Pfff I'm starting to remember why i liked Doppo so much 🥴

Bitches confused over him running away, tf was he supposed to do? He played it smart since there are no rules

Though yeah an eye and NOW a hand, insane

Chapter 26

Sjshhdhsn tanuki?

Oh, fox, he was calling him slick

Manga is pretty faster than the anime

Chapter 27

Where's your honor, Igari...

He is right sadly enough 😔

Oh i keep forgetting Igari's nature, he was probably trying to pull his silly little tricks again

This is just brutal honestly

Hehe this time i didn't get scared ☺️

I like that at least I'm not the only one who needs their mind off the gutter

Chapter 28

Love seeing em datin <3

He's so aggressive accidentally i love these dorks sm 😍🥺💞

SPEC FFS SJGDHWGW

Chapter 29

SPEC FOR FUCKS SAKE SJSVSJWGSH

Hanayama is such a real bro man

I LOVE THAT HE WAS JUST STALKING BAKI TOO BTW SJDGJDGDHSBDGDGS

To think i will still love hanayama but for entirely different reasons 😌

Chapter 30

Kaoru looks different but idk how

What the fuck is Spec even saying?

The fact that that makes no sense, i still love it a lot tho.

ALSO I ADORE HOW QUIET HANAYAMA IS WHEN FIGHTING

Okay Spec really has a point it really is beautiful

GOD I'M STARTING TO UNDERSTAND THESE CHARACTERS TOO MUCH I NEED HELP AJDGSJSGSHS 😭

But it's beautiful in the sense like, look how built he is! Look at all those scars!!! It IS beautiful it's a masterpiece!!!!!!!

"i choose to believe this is how hanayama always undresses" KSHSKDGSJ THE AMOUNT OF SUITS THIS MAN DESTROYS.. OBSESSED

Though yeah Hanayama in general is also beautiful isn't he?

Chapter 31

I would sob man look at him. Look at Shiba.

NO ONE RISKS HIS LIFE MORE THAN SHIBA YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE I STILL HOLD A LOT OF RESPECT FOR HIM!

A BENCH...

I really don't get why he's letting himself get hit, is he just flexing?

I cannot way to see him do his Technique ™

Chapter 32

Manga is so much superior to the anime, like, i haven't complained about Spec even once bc he isn't annoying anyone, in the anime he was so infuriating!!

I love when they just steal their standing poses sjsgjssgsh

That distortion effect so good

Chapter 33

I still think it's weird they used humans and not machines, though it was effective

I love how Spec managed to punch that statue without calling the attention of much people that's impressive

And i love that he keeps saying man he sounds like me with bro

Hanayama my beloved

Chapter 34

Yeah I'm not reading all that 😐

Oh this explains the holes in his clothes

[whatacartouchebag]

“Say Cart, where the hell’ve you been and what’s up with the sudden brakes on Reason updating?”

Fabulous question! Short answer: life. Longer answer: I’m going a hell of a lot of life all at once in about seven different directions, and I’m still writing, but slower.

If you don’t mind a bit of a teal deer, then feel free to jump under the cut and enjoy the rollercoaster that is my life at the moment.

So hoo boy, let’s start with the absolute doozy. My parents are divorcing, hooray! Dad finally drew the line in the sand when it came to my mother’s - frankly - rather toxic behaviour, and not one to half-ass things, has decided to sell their house at the end of August. He’s moving further north to be closer to my sister and the grandkids, whereas mum will stay here. He’s even going so far as to do the super amicable thing and set her up with as much furniture, financial support and whatnot as possible, and surface level, it looks great!

He’s kind of enjoying looking forward to the future where he doesn’t get to be constantly berated for things, or snapped at over the tiniest issue, and is pretty much optimistic about where he’s going from here.

Except for the part where it’s been absolutely blown out of proportion by my mother.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I adore her, and will continue to support and love her as my mother for the rest of my days, and I certainly feel for her in this awful time, but she is... a really frustrating person to live with. There’s a reason I moved out as soon as I could, and it has allowed me to really appreciate what calm and anxiety-free living is really like. She... has never been very good at processing any sort of emotional shocks as anything less than a complete personal attack, and combined with her rather blunt nature to begin with, well, basically this last month has been drastically stressful for everyone in the family.

She’s taken to just setting her filter to a constant off status, and whilst she’s taken a few disarming shots at everyone over things, I’ve tried... really hard not to let it affect me for the sake of moving forward. Unfortunately, she’s not really aware of what she’s saying sometimes, and it’s ended up in a couple of things that really have hurt me, which has just given the ol’ mental health status a pretty hefty punch.

I’ve been trying to help find a place for her to settle, and that’s been a mission of its own. My uncle has been at us both to keep in contact and try and take dad for everything he has, which has not helped in the slightest. And coupled with the fact that looking for anything at the moment is somewhat impossible thanks to covid and school holidays.

Which kind of slides into the next point. School holidays have made things ridiculously busy at work, and for the most part, I am utterly exhausted when I come home at the end of a day. This is on top of the usual level of busy where our work place is one of the busier offices in the entire state, and coupled with the covid reaction from people panic buying, it’s made things a little hectic to say the least.

I’ve also been given more responsibilities in my role at work, so I’m now in charge of a larger group of people than before, and my brain is kind of goo after a particularly big-ish day of numbers and planning and straight up surviving the day.

My physical health has kind of taken a slight dip here and there, and first up: it’s nothing drastic! For years and years (literally half my life lmao), I’ve had issues with damaged tendons in my knees, and where it used to be once every month or so I’d have issues flare up, it’s getting down to once every day or second day. So, it’s going to be a round of visiting doctors and specialists and setting up appointments and - eventually - surgery to fix the damage.

Which means about six or so weeks off my feet sometime within this year, most likely. I can’t wait holy shit you guys. /sarcasm

Needless to say, my writing has kind of just... plinked along in the background. I’m certainly still working on Reason, and I have a finalised list of everything left to achieve with our lads before things wrap up. To give a bit of a ballpark, there’s potentially going to be maybe another six or seven chapters out before it’s completed.

And that honestly feels really... big and heavy to say lmao.

Reason has been my biggest public outing to date, and it’s been a hell of a journey, so there’s no way I’m going to stop it. I intend on seeing this thing through to the end, as I promised way back after That Episode. Just please know that due to life being a combo hit of things, it’s going to be a little slower than usual for these final chapters, because whilst I know the first draft of my writing is suffering due to things, I still want the finished product to be good. Which means me rereading something I wrote whilst half-dead tired or kind of cottony. Which means repeated editing and revising time. Which means I need to learn to set the bar lower lmao.

Legitimately though, the one things that has kept me going through all of this round of stress and whatnot, and utterly wanting to finish this story? Is you guys. It sounds kind of corny, sure, but the support for this story, the support I’ve found in the Fair Game community, the friends I’ve made through this whole thing, it’s honestly meant the world to me. It’s kept me happy and laughing and smiling and honestly giving me something to focus on, rather than fall under the stress entirely, and it has utterly helped.

So, if you’ve made it this far through this thing, first of all congrats lmao. Secondly, thankyou.

I might be a bit spotty here and there for the next few months or so, but your support - whether it be chatting, comments, likes, kudos, whatever - honestly means so much to me and it really does wonders for keeping me sane ♥

[cuddleslutloki]

SO! i have been asked to give advice a couple times by a couple different writers in fandom who are cis and want to know how to/if it’s okay to write trans characters, so here’s my take and a few pieces of advice. it’s gonna be a little long lol

to answer the question “can cis writers write trans characters?”

Y E S 

i would personally love it, and i know other trans people who would also love it, if more cis writers wrote trans characters. the only limitation that i’d ever put on this is to say that i wouldn’t want to see a cis writer writing about trans self-discovery or a Trans Journey bc... i mean... those are our stories to tell, y’know?

generally most of the trans people i know feel the same way. we want to see ourselves in stories, even if we’re not the main characters. we want to know that you see us and think us worth writing about. representation matters. 

but if you’re writing a story about female friendship and you wanna make one of those women trans? please do bc we need more normalized representation. seeing these really intense Trans Journey stories is great, it is, but it feels one-note when it’s like.... practically the only thing we ever see.

wanna write a story about brotherhood and the bonds of found family and male friendship? make a dude trans! he’s a dude! who’s trans! 

quick advice for writing trans men:

not all trans men bind. i don’t. i have a triple D chest, so yeah it’s kind of obvious that i have tits. with the full beard it can be a confusing look lmao. your trans male character doesn’t have to bind, and it doesn’t have to be bc he’s had top surgery, or because he’s flat chested. some of us just don’t want to have the damage done to our bodies that binding can and will do if done consistently enough for long enough.

not all trans men use packers, which are prosthetics made to give a bulge where trans guys don’t have one. 

trans men can top lol. it isn’t just skinny cis women using strap-ons, and a guy can cum using a harness bc of where it sits. also, emotionally, that shit is fantastic (speaking from personal experience). 

if you’re writing erotica, then be aware that some trans guys are okay with the word clit, some aren’t. this is more of a stylistic choice on the part of the writer, but if you’re using AFAB language for trans male genitals then make a note bc for some men that’s legitimately triggering. personally, i’m fine w/ my vagina, he’s a chill dude.

testosterone doesn’t make you taller, and it won’t make your character taller either lol. physical changes from T are increased muscle mass, changes in fat distribution on the body, voice drop, hairline receding around the temples, facial and body hair growth for some (takes 6+ months usually), clitoral growth, some men experience vaginal dryness some don’t, in the beginning there’s an increased sex drive which tends to even out once T levels are stable, since it’s basically a second puberty a lot of trans guys do get acne, hair can become coarser over time texture wise, and tends to thin

testosterone is administered via injection or with androgel which is topical, generally. if you want to write about a guy giving himself his T, then he’s probably on a weekly or bi-weekly injection schedule at home, or he’s using androgel which is daily and gets rubbed into the skin and has to dry fully. there’s no option right now to take testosterone orally that i know of. there’s also the option for a 3-month dose of testosterone to be given via injection, but it’s always done by a nurse and every trans guy i’ve talked to who’s had it has said they can’t even sit down for an hour afterward bc it’s injected into the ass and it hurts like a motherfucker. however it’s also only once every 3 months. personally i don’t mind my wee thigh shot lol. 

if anyone has more specific questions for writing trans male characters send me an ask and i’ll be glad to help

full disclaimer that i’m not a trans woman, but here’s some advice for writing trans women based on what i’ve heard from them:

unlike with T, where trans men can basically just start T and begin the process of a testosterone-based puberty, trans women first have to go on T blockers so that their T levels drop to where they should be for a woman, then they go on estrogen, which is usually??? a pill (not dissimilar to birth control)

when trans women have been on estrogen for long enough they can have multiple orgasms like any other woman, which is a pretty nifty perk

loss of muscle mass is common

breast growth happens differently for everyone, but breasts become more sensitive and as they grow a lot of women can experience some tenderness, and if the chest is struck/prodded that tenderness can be painful. (as someone who naturally developed breasts as a teen, i remember fucking crying when someone hit me in chest once bc everything was so sensitive)

trans women have natural hormone cycles and can experience period-like symptoms! so yeah! a trans woman can wake up and be >:( and have mood swings!

the penis and balls will shrink over time on estrogen, some trans women stop getting hard, some don’t

some trans women tuck their penises, some don’t

trans women have to make the choice to raise their voices, as most of the effects of testosterone-based puberty cannot be reversed. T thickens the vocal chords, which is what makes a trans guy’s voice drop, but if a trans woman is transitioning after she’s experienced a full T-based puberty, her voice isn’t going to raise. a lot of trans women do vocal training to get used to talking in their head voice versus their chest voice. some even pick out like a celebrity or a character to emulate bc it’s a lot easier when you’ve got a goal to aim for.

facial hair generally doesn’t stop growing. the follicles being active doesn’t change when testosterone levels drop. hair growth can slow, but it’s probably not going to stop entirely without laser hair removal or electrolysis. same with body hair. 

hair texture can change, though, and become softer over time

if any trans women followers want to add to this feel free :D

your character might not have IDs that match up w/ their identity. having your government docs changed can be a pain in the ass depending on where you live, and a lot of places require some kind of surgery as “proof” which is bullshit but... y’know, it happens. 

big thing to remember: not all trans people want surgery. not all trans people fall into the gender binary. the way i define being trans is that your gender doesn’t match what you were assigned at birth. that’s it. i consider non-binary people transgender bc. y’know. they fucking are. not all of them want to ID that way or feel like they can, but if they do then i fully welcome them bc they’re my people. 

i think cis writers can feel like it’s a taboo or a no-go to write trans characters bc “well what if i do it wrong” and i think it comes down to being really caught up in the fact that the character is trans, rather than them just being a trans character. like. here’s my day as an out, transitioning trans man:

i wake up between 6am and 7am, i dick around on my phone, i let my dogs out, feed them, have breakfast, go to work, eat lunch, work more, come home, eat dinner, dick around on my phone more, go to bed. repeat. my weekends consist of writing, primarily, and watching stuff on netflix. and every other sunday i give myself an injection of testosterone into my thigh. every couple months i see my endocrinologist and maybe have a blood test.

diabetics have a more rigorous schedule than i do, health-wise. 

me being trans is part of who i am, a defining part even, but it’s not all i am. if someone were to write a story about my life and make it all about me being trans, they’d first be ignoring like... the first 25 years of my life, but also everything that happens to me in between these big transition milestones. 

not everything with trans people is about being trans. sometimes it’s about being bored. or wanting to play video games.

on another personal note, some of the signs that i was trans weren’t very obvious. they make a lot of sense in hind sight (like when i was 4 and told my mom i was going to wear a suit to prom, or when i was 5 and told my dad that my husband was taking my last name bc that just seemed how shit should work to me) but at the time they were just these small, weird little quirks that no one saw as anything more.

in fandom a lot of our stories tend to veer toward the romantic or erotic, so let me just say that you don’t need to write about dysphoria or remark on the topic within the story. i know this is a sticking point for a lot of cis writers bc most of them haven’t experienced dysphoria so they don’t know how to write it. good news is you don’t have to, a trans person can be happy with their body, especially if they’re far enough along in their transition, and it can just be a smutty, smutty story about people fucking lol.

this is a really loose guide w/ very loose bits of advice and seriously if anyone ever wants to ask more specific questions or my opinion you can DM me or send an ask on or off anon and i’ll be glad to offer any help i can

[purplesurveys]

589

Have you ever been served breakfast in bed? Sure. When we don’t feel like having breakfast at the table together as a family, my mom just brings up food for us when we wake up. What is the most challenging meal you have ever cooked? I don’t cook or bake at all but back when we had to do it in home ec, I remember how hard macarons were to make (if this counts). Baking in general demands precision, it’s just that the skill needed to make macarons is pumped up to the max. Are you one to approach others, or let them approach you first? I let people approach me because I’m shy most of the time. When was the last time you took painkillers? Saturday. My toothaches struck once again and I didn’t want to be burdened while at dinner with Gab, so I had to take a painkiller for the second time that day. Have you ever picked flowers out of someone else's garden without asking? No. That’s kind of a dick move.

Who did you give them to, or did you keep them for yourself? What is your favorite thing to do as a little kid? I loved being allowed to play outside. My grandma was very strict with us and would sometimes not allow us to go outside and play with our neighbors – if we were allowed, we only could from 4 to 6 PM. So whenever we got to go out and play it was always really fun, even though I almost always went home sporting a new gash, cut, or wound. Then when we came back home, Nickelodeon would usually have an awesome program schedule, followed by changing the channel to Cartoon Network at 7 so we could watch Pokemon, then we’d flick the channel to Disney because Mr. Bean airs around 9 PM. Are holidays as fun for you now as they were when you were younger? I looked forward to holidays more when I was a kid because it was before a bunch of my relatives migrated to different countries. It’s never the same without them, which is often the case these days. Do you find non-fiction to be boring? I find fictional works to be boring, but I can spend hours reading non-fiction content. Are you a punctual person? Or are you always late? Yes, I hate being late.  Do you own a thesaurus? Do you actually use it? I owned a thesaurus because I had to back in grade school, but I’m not sure if I actually ever threw it out or not. Nowadays Google can easily be a thesaurus if I need it for that purpose. What is the longest essay or research paper you have written? It was our final paper for my communication research class last semester. If I remember correctly, it has about 90 pages.  Do you ever write your own short stories? I tried doing it when I was 12 or 13, but I didn’t find it fun. Also I was never creative enough for it and got bored real quick. I envy people who can write very good short stories. Have you ever won money by entering a contest/raffle? Raffles are a Filipino favorite and we have a lot of them, so yeah I’ve won some cash here and there. Have you ever lost something very valuable? Of course. The first valuable thing I ever lost was my first ever cellphone, given to me as a 7th birthday gift by my parents; I lost it while on a school field trip. I’ve always felt bad about that. Have you ever lost something with a lot of sentimental value? In high school, I lost a watch that my mom gave me. It was a super pretty watch and again, I haaaaated myself when I realized I had misplaced it.   Have you ever been close to drowning? Yes. When I was nine, my cousins and I went for a swim in our clubhouse’s pool. I was swimming at the deep end – which I normally could handle by myself – but suddenly one of my cousins grabbed at my legs which kept me from being able to lift my head above water because it felt like I was being dragged further down. Have you ever had a panic attack? Yes. I haven’t had one in a couple of years though, so I guess that’s good. What stores do you go into when you go to mall? I’m not a big store person when I go malling, but when I do stop by shops, it’s usually stationery stores, bookstores, or stores that sell cute novelty stuff like weird coasters, flasks, alarm clocks, etc. Do you ever stop to eat in the food court? Only if we want a quick snack to get by, like shawarma or corndogs. As much as possible I like eating in sitdown restaurants. Do you find it easy to relate to other people? These days, yeah. I’ll admit that when I was younger, I used to put a premium on being ‘not like other teenagers’ BAHAHAHAHA YUCK, but tbh there’s no shame in being able to relate to many others in terms of music or TV shows or other similar interests. It helps me gain friends, which is always a plus. Who is your favorite philosopher? I hate philosophy more than anything else in this planet. What is your favorite song to sing? OMG Thinking of You by Katy Perry easily takes the cake for this one. Do you consciously try to be unique, or do you just be you? I’m just me for the most part. Do you worry about being judged by other people? Sometimes, but it’s usually for stuff like having to borrow a pen in class, or having to ask for a piece of yellow pad – basically stuff that would make people think I was irresponsible haha. If someone doesn't like you, do you usually want to know the reason? Yes, just out of curiosity. But I wouldn’t feel like it’s the end of the world if I never got to know why. When was the last time you told someone something really important? A couple of weeks ago; I had to tell Gab I passed out quietly for a few minutes in the restroom in the middle of PE. The workout was too difficult and I didn’t have my water bottle with me that day, so I felt queasy quickly. Have you ever lost a large amount of money? Thankfully, no. The only time I lost my wallet, there was only around ₱600 in it. Have you ever tried to blame something you did on someone else? I mostly did it when I was a kid and blamed my little sister or brother for something. Did that person get in trouble, or did the plan fail? Failed, obviously.

What is the weirdest hairstyle you have ever had? I never went with weird hairstyles but my worst look will always be rebonded hair. I have a square face with a very strong jaw; completely straight hair has never suited me. Describe the ugliest pair of shoes you own? I don’t think I’ve ever allowed myself to wear shoes I thought were ugly, haha. How many times a day do you look in the mirror? For how long? Maybe a few times. Once before I leave the house, then maybe one or two times from my webcam just so I know how I currently look while in school, then again when I get home. Are you ashamed to leave the house when not looking your best? Not ashamed, just uncomfortable. If you are antisocial, WHY are you that way? That’s a legitimate personality disorder and I prefer we didn’t throw that word around like it’s nothing. Are you modest? Well I used to be, back when I was in Catholic school. I still hold some traditional sentiments here and there but I wouldn’t call myself modest. What is your favorite singer? Beyonce or Hayley Williams, for sure. If you could relive one day from last year, what day would it be? Why? April 21, 2018! It was my birthday and my first time driving out of town by myself. Gab and I went to Nasugbu for a day trip to the beach and Tagaytay for dinner. It was soooooo so fun even though we were exhausted afterwards and I was fighting to keep my eyes open while driving by that evening.   What is something that you are afraid to fail at? Something I’m supposed to be really good at, like writing. What would happen if you did fail at it? I’d feel insecure for a long time and for that period, no one would be able to encourage me and make me feel better. Do you ever worry about your loved ones dying? Ever since my grandpa and now Nacho passed away, yes. What is the cutest thing a guy could do for a girl? The cutest thing anyone* can do for anyone* is making time for them, I guess. I’m not very picky when it comes to showing love. Stuffed animals--immature, or should everyone have one? Neither. I don’t mind them but I don’t hate them. What do you like in your breakfast burritos? I don’t think I’ve ever had a breakfast burrito. What restaurant would you choose to go to for breakfast? Rustic Mornings, La Creperie, or Eggs For Breakfast! How much money do you think you cost your parents? Millions. Do you have good hand/eye coordination? Only when it comes to table tennis. I generally wouldn’t call myself skilled at catching stuff. Can you do a flip on a trampoline? I haven’t tried, and I think I’d be too scared to anyway. Do you remember the last time you climbed a tree? I don’t think I’ve ever climbed a tree...most trees here are riddled with red ants. Did you ever lie on your back and pick shapes out of clouds as a kid? Sure, but I didn’t do it all the time nor does it feel nostalgic to me. Do you watch any Japanese anime? Other than watching Pokemon when I was a kid, no. Is there a foreign culture you are interested in learning more about? I’m always interested in learning all foreign cultures. Do you let your emotions get the best of you in a fight? Sometimes. Do you know anyone whose reputation has recently been ruined? That’s what happened to Nach. It’s why I was always more gentle in dealing with him than everyone else, because I knew just how damaged his rep was after what happened. I didn’t want to add to that anymore. When did you first get a cellphone? I got my first one on my 7th birthday. Do you have your own laptop computer? Yes. How about your own digital computer? Like...a cellphone or calculator? I guess, yeah lmao. Do you drive your own car, or your parents? I’ve been given my own car for me to drive, but my parents bought it and own it. Say something inappropriate? Cunt. Always been my least favorite bad word. What were you doing before you started taking this survey? I washed the dishes. Describe the best summer you ever had? I don’t like my summers. It’s not a part of the year I look fondly on. Do you eat any meat other than turkey on Thanksgiving? I don’t celebrate that holiday. Did you attend a pre-school? My only other school apart from UP has a preschool, elementary, and high school. I studied there for 14 years. We also have a college, but it’s in our Makati campus.  Do you remember what it was like to learn to count to 100? Not really. What is something you lost in the process of growing up? The concept of looking to my mom if I have any problems. Do you wear any wristbands? If so, what's on them? Nope, I do not. What was the last picture you were in? We took a family photo over lunch yesterday. Did you have required reading material in high-school? We had required reading material from Prep all the way to senior year in high school. Do you keep your room organized? I try to. It becomes messy slowly over time but I always end up tidying my room. Do you vacuum daily? I don’t. How many board games do you own? A couple. I have Scrabble, Pictionary, and Trivial Pursuit. Own any books? ...Of course. Recently checked any books out from the library? Nah that was about a month ago. I recently returned a (overdue) book though. Does your cat give you kitty kisses? My dog gives me a single lick to the face whenever I come home from school. What’s in your make-up bag? I don’t have one.

[butmomilovepeter]

Tell Me Your Troubles and Doubts, Giving Me Everything Inside and Out

read on ao3?

lads,,,i did something, im not sure if it’s it, cheif. is it cash money? idk.

(imma dedicate this bad boy to @jackklinelovesstarwars lmao this discord server is wickety wickety whack i luv it)

~

Sam wakes up, and he hates it.

He hates how used to this feeling he is; the feeling of waking up on ground, hurt and disoriented.

His back aches, and it’s a harsh reminder that “middle age” is closely creeping up to him. His head throbs from the blow that the ghost him and Jack (god, he’s a baby) were hunting gave him. He hurts. He can feel the broken ribs, broken nose, concussion, and the broken glass sticking to his body. And the exhaustion from insomnia seems to catch up to him as he lays on the floor, his body not willing to catch up with his mind.

God, he’s exhausted.

And suddenly, a voice is speaking to him.

“-am! Sam! Are you alright?” Jack sounds so worried and young, and Sam half wishes he wasn’t even here.

“I’m good.” He groans and swallows the nausea.

“No, no, no. Dean said—”

“It’s fine, Jack. Let’s just—gah!” His attempts to stand were trampled by the way the pain flared in his sides and behind his eyes. He feels Jack steady him, and puts a hand behind Jack’s back for balance

“We should get out of here.” Jack whispers, as the ghost looks back at the two of them angrily. (And Sam can barely remember why this ghost is vengeful anyway.)

“We can’t leave just yet. Lemme call—”

But Sam can’t even finish before he notices the blood seeping from Jack’s back covering his hand.

Sam’s breath hitches and their eyes meet.

“Jack, that’s not…”

“Oh, I-I-” and Jack starts falling.

“Jack? Jack!” Sam scrambles to catch the boy despite his body’s protests. He brings them both to the ground, with Jack’s head in his lap.

“The ghost—I didn’t realize it—” Jack chokes out, blood dripping from his mouth.

“Shh, it’s okay—it’s okay.” Sam reassures through gritted teeth. The ghost snarls at them before disappearing, and part of Sam is grateful. His head hurts and he knows he’s seconds from blacking out, but now he’s got a bleeding kid in his lap so that’s out of the question.

“S-Sam?” Jack’s voice is soft.

“You’re alright, you’re alright. I’m getting you out of here.” Sam scoops up the boy into his arms (and oh my Chuck it hurts.)

“What about the-the ghost?” Sam hates how Jack’s voice wavers. Sam tucks Jack as close as possible.

“Don’t worry about the ghost. I can call someone or…”

He trails off because it’s getting harder to stay focused, but Jack doesn’t seem to notice.

As Sam sets the kid down on his side in back seat, he gets a good look at the wound.

It’s not too deep, and Sam knows he’ll probably survive, but he still is bleeding a good amount.

And it brings up memories he half forgot.

Hey, look at me. It’s not even that bad. It’s not even that bad, all right? Sammy? Sam!

“It hurts…” Jack sniffles. Sam rubs Jack’s shoulder before pressing a spare flannel up against the wound. Jack winces, and Sam pretends not to notice the tears.

“I know. I’m sorry.” Sympathy drips from Sam’s voice. “It’s gonna be alright.”

“You sure?” Jack sounds like he’s also on the verge of passing out.

“It’s not even that bad, kid. It’s not.” He cringes slightly. It’s been eight years. “Hang in there.”

Sam has never been the best driver, but god knows he should have been arrested for that drive back to the bunker.

~

“Dean! Cas!” Sam’s own body is screaming at him as he makes his way swiftly down the stairs, Jack’s body suddenly raging with fever.

Dean comes sprinting in, eyes widening when he sees the damage.

“God, Sammy, what happened?” Dean asked as he guides Sam to a bed for the kid.

Sam laid Jack on his stomach, tilting his head up to take care of the fever in a minute.

“Where’s Cas?” Sam asked, blinking away the black dots. Dean looked up skeptically at his brother.

“He was away with Rowena, remember? We talked about it before you left?” Dean prompted. Sam inhaled and tried to think, but the dots grew larger and his feet stumbled.

“No-no...I-”

“Sammy? Sam, you okay?” His brother’s voice was muffled. Sam shook his head, grabbing the wall behind him. “Sammy! Sammy?”

Sam felt his brother grab his shoulders, but his brain fuzzed out.

~

Hey, listen to me. We’re gonna patch you up, okay? You’ll be good as new. Huh? I’m gonna take care of you. I’m gonna take you care of you. I’ve got you. That’s my job, right? Watch out for my pain-in-the-ass little brother? Sam? Sam! Sam! Sammy!

~

Don't get mad at me. Don't you do that. I had to. I had to look out for you. That's my job.

And what do you think my job is?

What?

You've saved my life over and over. I mean, you sacrifice everything for me. Don't you think I'd do the same for you? You're my big brother. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you. And I don't care what it takes, I'm gonna get you out of this. Guess I gotta save your ass for a change.

~

I tried everything. That's the truth. I tried opening the Devil's Gate. Hell, I tried to bargain, Dean, but no demon would deal, all right? You were rotting in Hell for months. For months, and I couldn't stop it. So I'm sorry it wasn't me, all right? Dean, I'm sorry.

~

This is real. Not a year ago, not in Hell, now. I was with you when you cut it, I sewed it up! Look!

This is different. Right? Then the crap that’s tearing at your walnut? I’m different. Right?

Hey. I am your flesh-and-blood brother, okay? I’m the only one who can legitimately kick your ass in real time. You got away. We got you out, Sammy.

~

What happens when you've decided I can't be trusted again? I mean, who are you gonna turn to next time instead of me? Another angel, another -- another vampire? Do you have any idea what it feels like to watch your brother just-

Hold on, hold on! You seriously think that? Because none of it -- none of it -- is true. Listen, man, I know we've had our disagreements, okay? Hell, I know I've said some junk that set you back on your heels. But, Sammy...come on. I killed Benny to save you. I'm willing to let this bastard and all the sons of bitches that killed mom walk because of you. Don't you dare think that there is anything, past or present, that I would put in front of you! It has never been like that, ever! I need you to see that. I'm begging you.

~

He wakes up again, and it hurts more than before.

It’s not real awareness, more of a feeling than anything.

In the time he was out, he managed to dig up memories he had wished to forget.

And then he remembers Jack.

“Jack-!” He sits up and immediately regrets it.

“Easy! Easy!” Dean’s hands easily guide him back down on the bed.

“Where’s Jack?” Sam gasps. A better question was; where was he? A second look around, and he was in his own bed. There was a bandage wrapped around where his ribs were, an ice pack on his head and bandages covering his arms and neck where the glass had entered.

“He’s with Cas now. His fever just broke before you woke up.” Dean looked a bit hesitant.

“What is it?” Sam asks, trying not to think of the worst.

“You got him here just in time, Sammy. It was close.” Dean told him. Sam exhaled with relief.

“And Cas fixed him up?”

“Good as new. He’s on his way to help you too.”

“Why?” Sam swallowed a groan. Dean chuckled.

“Sam, you’ve been out for seven hours.” Dean removed the ice pack and replaced it with another. Sam pretended to not enjoy it. “You didn’t wake up once when I got all the glass out.”

Sam tried for a chuckle himself, but it hurt like hell. (Not actual Hell. He’s been there.)

“I’m getting old.” Sam responded eventually.

“You and me both, brother.” Dean smiled in his very Dean Winchester way. Then it dropped slightly. “You were dreaming, though. ‘Kept on muttering things I couldn’t understand. You’re not having nightmares again, are you?”

Sam avoided his brother’s eyes.

“There was never a time I wasn’t, Dean.”

Dean doesn’t answer, instead places a soft hand on his shoulder.

“Go back to sleep, Sammy. We’ll patch you up.”

~

“Sam?” Jack whispers in the doorway.

“Hey, Jack. Shouldn’t you be in bed?” Sam says, trying his best to sit up. Jack was dressed in his pajamas (Star Wars themed, they were a Christmas present.) He looks behind him in both directions before shaking his head.

“Castiel said that I was fine but should be resting.”

He pulled out a laptop. “But I’m bored. Can we watch a movie?”

Sam smiles and moves over as best he can.

“‘Course. Our little secret.”

Jack smiles and gently sat down next to Sam, and pulled up the Netflix logo.

“It keeps recommending me The Breakfast Club. Can we watch it?” Jack sounds young again, but the good kind of young.

“A classic. I’m making you watch every John Hughes movie.” And despite his aching ribs, he pulled Jack close next to him. He tried to ignore the affection that filled his throat when the kid put his head on his shoulder.

“You scared me today.” Jack whispered, about a half hour into the movie. “You went down so hard and I didn’t even realize I was—”

“Hey, I’m okay, Jack,” Sam reassured. “And so are you.”

Jack smiled a small smile, and turned his eyes back towards the screen.

(Dean and Cas find them late at night, fast asleep while Some Kind of Wonderful plays in the background. The pictures will in fact be used for blackmail someday soon.)

[forest-omen]

Eddie Kaspbrak and why he deserved better

                Again, it felt pretty standard and easy, story-wise, but still sympathetic, and I absolutely get why they did it like this. It would take so much more time to get into it like the book does. And fingers crossed they might still get more into with Chapter 2. But it’s those details the book brings out that I really started latching onto.                First off, you have his mother, Sonia Kaspbrak. Her husband died of cancer when Eddie was just a baby, and it seems right to say it traumatized her. She became terrified for her son – or, rather, for herself and of losing her son. She pulled an Everything, Everything and gaslighted him into thinking he was sick and frail. The world is a dangerous, disgusting place and it’s all working against him. She was the only thing that could keep him safe and he needed her to survive.               Where some people can be unknowingly manipulative or forcing their own paranoia on to others without realizing the extent of what they’re doing, that can hardly be argued here. She knows what she’s doing. In the latter part of the book, when Eddie hears Sonia threaten his friends out of the hospital’s waiting room and refuse to let them see him, Eddie does something that legitimately terrifies her – he fights back. He tells her she can’t keep him away from his friends, tells her not to make him choose between them or her because she will not like the answer. So Sonia starts to cry. More than that, she starts wailing. And the entire time we can see her consoling herself in her head, telling herself this is what always works. It always breaks Eddie when she starts crying, because then he starts crying and apologizing and everything will go back to normal. But it doesn’t work; he doesn’t budge. And she’s in genuine shock. Her one foolproof method for breaking her son and bringing him running back to her, and he’s not moving. She’s realizing for the first time that she's not his only anchor anymore. His friends had come right in under her nose and taken him away from her.               Something I feel the 1990s version missed in having him still living with his mother by ’84. It’s an incredibly lazy and simple way of showing his regression after The Losers Club breaks apart. It’s fatefully mocking the way he marries Myra, a woman he himself has stated multiple times is just a younger version of his mother. Sonia is dead by the time Pennywise reemerges, but she’s also still very much there. Having Myra in the picture further reinforces how Eddie is going to be haunted by his mother for as long as he lives. No matter where he goes, she’s become such an intrinsic part of his sense of self, he doesn’t know how to exist apart from her.               This is something I wish more people would explore in fanfics. There are so many AUs where the Losers Club never breaks apart or forgets each other, and I wish they’d delve further into those alterations between the two universes. When Eddie loses the only other thing that’s holding him together, he becomes the man who just goes stumbled right back to his mother, even if it’s her made manifest in another woman. What would happen if he never lost that other anchor? If he kept his friends and his new sense of self, what would he be in comparison? Who would he become? I’d noticed Eddie was the one who usually found himself inwardly gushing about his friends. He goes on for whole paragraphs about how great Bill is how much he loves him. He loves all of them. And he’s the only one I really remember being singled out in the narrative for this. These brief tangents where he takes a second to fully appreciate them and how lucky he is to have them as friends.               I’ve always imagined him thinking about this when he’s dying. His life flashing before his eyes as a series of stills and emotions, everything he’s forgotten finally put into stark perspective against everything that came after, and I can’t help but think he wondered, if only for a second, what his life would’ve been if he’d never forgotten. If that medicine cabinet still would’ve been as full as it was. If he’d still be using an inhaler.               This brings me to another of my favorite aspects of the book: Eddie’s talk with Mr. Keene. One of the most poignant moments of the book for me was when they first ran into Ben in The Barrens and Bill had to fucking jet to the pharmacy to get a refill for Eddie’s inhaler.               (Can I just take a second to talk about Bill here and the image of him, fucking terrified as he’s watching Eddie have an attack, remembering Georgie and all the feelings triggered there that come flooding back, thinking he’s about to lose someone else and tearing down the street on Silver like the world’s about to end. Holy FUCK.)               When Bill’s biking away, Mr. Keene is watching him go, and we get this bit of inner dialogue where Mr. Keene admits that Eddie’s inhaler is filled with nothing but water and a compound that gives it a slightly medicinal taste. It’s the first time you’re blatantly told there’s nothing wrong with Eddie. It’s a small moment in an otherwise big scene where a lot has happened. It’s quiet and subtle and quickly moved away from, and something about that made me so goddamn sad. I think it was the potential for this to be the only time this truth would ever be thrown out into the universe. This was still relatively early in the book, and you could see Eddie in that moment going his entire life never knowing, and the truth of it is just there and gone as the story continues forward.               When Mr. Keene finally pulls him aside later on and lays the truth out, Eddie doesn’t believe him. He doesn’t understand why an adult would be lying to him about this. That’s the detail that finally wins him over – why would Mr. Keene be lying about this? But then why would his mother? What could she possibly have to gain from Eddie constantly thinking he’s a breath away from catching the plague? And how could he be having asthma attacks if he didn’t have asthma?               He doesn’t believe it; he refuses to believe it. The basis for everything he’s ever known for believed about himself is starting to shake and crack apart, but he doesn’t have anywhere else to stand. He has no other frame of reference for himself as he exists in the world. So he runs. He leaves Mr. Keene’s office and the pharmacy, his world possibly more shaken than it had been from the introduction of an extraterrestrial demon.               It’s already been established multiple times that Eddie has a hard time confronting truths and heavy subjects, like when they were all together in the Barrens and he noticed that Bill looked like he had something important to say and was trying to prepare himself for saying it. A sense of overwhelming dread comes over Eddie and all you see is his internal begging for someone to stop this. Someone stop him from talking. I remember him sending out a silent plea to Richie to make some stupid joke or start one of his voices. Anything to keep Bill from saying what he was about to say. And if I remember correctly, I think he does it again when they meet up with each other again in ’84. His reflexive reaction to these kinds of things is stubborn aversion.               It takes time for the truth of it to finally sink into him, and it’s that moment in the hospital, when his mother is crying and pleadingly calling for him over and over, that he sees her for what she is and what she’s made him become. Eddie still loves his mother, he finally lets himself fall apart for what he just did to her when she leaves, but she’ll never again be what she was to him.               Not in theory, at least. But none of it makes a damn bit of difference in the end. The damage is done. Yeah, he knows the truth of it. His world has been shaken and shifted – and then it settled. And everything was back to as it had been. The truth didn’t erase his compulsive reliance on his inhaler. It didn’t get rid of the reflexive crawling sensation that overcame him when confronted with dirt and disease. It didn’t erase his deeply ingrained phobias. He could just look at them a little differently now.               Eddie’s whole story arch is so fucking tragic, it physically hurts me. Two out of the three times I cried while reading the book were over him. And then again just now while remembering the fact that he’s the ONE character the narrative ever explicitly states is willing to die for his friends, and then HE GOES AN DFUKING DIES FOR HIS KFUKCING FRIEND S I HAET HIM A ND I HATE THIS BOOK               I was listening to the audiobook while closing at work when he got his fucking arm torn off, and I guess it didn’t really register in my head since I was doing other stuff because all I fucking knew was he went and DIED and I dropped a whipcream cannister. I had to go stand in the back for a few minutes, I was so goddamn upset. I almost didn’t finish the book lmao because like what’s even the point now?? I knew the fucking orgy scene was coming up soon, and I’d been dreading that the entire book. I ended up finishing it out like two days later, pissed as hell that one of the last things we get to experience Eddie doing while alive is this gross, overly detailed, and much too long sex scene between a bunch of kids. I know they loved each other. I KNOW. I knew it before all that happened, and making it happen didn’t change the dynamic of the group in the least. As far as I’m concerned, it didn’t happen.               God, now I’m just drained. Long story short, Eddie Kaspbrak deserved so much more. He’s a whirling torrent of conflicting emotions all bundled up into a deceptively small spitfire of a person. Despite what she represented to him, he loved Myra. He even loved his mother up until the very end. He felt things so deeply and loved so goddamn much that he died for it. So, really, if he had to die, I guess this was the best way to do it. That doesn’t mean I’m happy about it.               Now if you’ll excuse me, it took me four hours to write this, and I need to go lie down or something.

[skincarejesus]

I'm sorry, mom, I'm just not that concerned about daily sun protection. Sunscreen without icky ingredients are difficult to find and often expensive (labelled as sensitive-friendly). I'm rarely in the sun for more than 5 minutes at a time (obviously I use sunscreen when I know I'll be outside for 20+ minutes). Besides, spending a couple minutes in the sun feels nice because vitamin d is nice. I just can't do it. (Also it made my skin xxtra dewy which is gross when you live in the south lmao).

Don’t apologize! Seeing that you messaged me, I assume on some level you want me to convince you to use sunscreen. Which, as a crazy sunscreen lady, I’m happy to try to do!

The concerns you have about sunscreen are common, legitimate concerns. Yet, every one of your concerns can be addressed by choosing the correct sunscreen and appreciating the affect that UV radiation has on the skin.

I’ll go through each of your concerns and then recommend you some sunscreens that I think will change your mind about sunscreen.

I’m just not that concerned:

I’m not gonna sugar-coat it; you should be. UV radiation is very real, ever present, and truly damaging.

“Wrinkles, leathery or sagging skin and brown spots. In fact, more than 90 percent of these visible changes commonly attributed to skin aging are caused by the sun.

In addition to premature skin aging, the sun’s UV rays play a significant role in the development of skin cancer. In fact, about 86 percent of melanomas and 90 percent of nonmelanoma skin cancers are associated with exposure to its UV rays.” (x)

It can be hard to appreciate, because you won’t see the consequences of the damage you’re receiving until later on in life. The reality is that the choices you make right now concerning sun protection will have serious consequences down the line.

There are powerful, documented examples of the sun’s effects on the skin.

Ex. A truck driver, who’s had one half of his face more exposed to the sun throughout his career of truck driving: (x)

Ex. A pair of twins; one who sunbathes (along with other unhealthy behaviors) and the other who doesn’t: (x)

I can’t make you care about this stuff, but you should be informed. Sunscreen is first and foremost a method of preventative health care.

Icky ingredients:

Of course, your personal definition of what an “icky” ingredient is may vary from mine. However, I’ve discussed on this blog that the only UV filters you need to worry about are oxybenzone and octinoxate. I’ve also discussed and debunked some other commonly disliked ingredients.  

Expensive:

Sunscreen can be expensive, but it can also be quite affordable! As with most skin care, there’s something for every price range. Many Asian sunscreens can be bought at 50ml for under $10.

Limited sun exposure:

Obviously limiting your time outdoors reduces the amount of UV damage you receive, but keep this in mind: Sun damage is cumulative. This means that those 5 minutes each day add up to a significant amount of damage over time. Also, did you know that UV radiation passes through windows? That means any time spent near windows in your house or in the car exposes you to UV rays. Clouds, rain, and snow can’t even stop UV rays. So, you’re likely receiving far more UV radiation than you think.

Sunshine feels nice:

I won’t argue with you on that! However, with a nice lightweight sunscreen, you can enjoy the sunshine and protect yourself.

Vitamin D is nice:

I agree wholeheartedly; cue the supplements and dietary changes!

“Foods that provide vitamin D include:

Fatty fish, like tuna, mackerel, and salmonFoods fortified with vitamin D, like some dairy products, orange juice, soy milk, and cerealsBeef liverCheeseEgg yolks” (x)

600 IU is recommended if you choose to take supplements. This way, you can get the amount of Vitamin D you need without exposing yourself to sun damage.

Makes my skin dewy:

There are so many mattifying sunscreens out there, it’ll make your head spin!

Here’s some inexpensive, mattifying sunscreens with my approved UV filters and at least SPF 50/PA +++:

Etude House Mild Airy Finish Sunscreen (alcohol heavy, but well loved by those who live in hot climates)

Make P:rem Blue Ray Sun Fluid (💖 ) (~$35, but it’s 200ml, so it would be about $8.70 for a standard 50ml bottle)

Australian Gold Botanical Tinted Face Sunscreen

Innisfree Perfect UV Protection Cream Triple Care

I hope I was able to convince you to wear your sunscreen! :)

[sage-nebula]

hey so i saw someone vaguely translate the argument between lillie and lusamine in today's ep and apparently it amounted to lillie being mad that lusamine evolved her clefairy without her consent and lusamine's answer amounting to "well technically it was my clefairy that i gave to you and also your reason for not evolving it was stupid" and? is it wrong for me to hope that pokeani will give us like (cont.)

more of this? like. lusamine being overly smotherly and lowkey selfish and overbearing and those aspects of her get more and more pronounced as an early warning sign that she’s not the ally the other characters think she is? like it’s pokeani there’s so many things that could go wrong here but the fact that this argument was bad enough that even sato and kukui notice that lillie is NOT here for her mom’s shit and that sumo-ani has been p. good with developing relationships make me hope.

Well, first of all, if that’s the same clefable that Lusamine has in the games, then it can go get fucked, tbh, because that clefable gave me the hardest time in the final battle. Not because it kept killing* my pokémon, but because it wouldn’t fucking die, none of my attacks did significant damage to it, and it kept healing itself and it was just The Worst™. So honestly, Lillie, you dodged a bullet there, because that clefable is a fucking bastard.

(*No, I do not nuzlocke. This is just an expression, not meant to be taken seriously.)

On a more serious note (because yes, the above is supposed to be a joke, please don’t take it too seriously, anyone), hmm … honestly, I don’t know!

It’s hard to judge because the PokéAni is inconsistent across the sagas in many ways. There are some constants that we can always count on: Ash will always leave all of his pokémon sans Pikachu behind when he goes to a new region, he will never win a game League, and he will always have at least one (1) of the new region starters as a mainstay on his team, so as to promote the new generation to kids. But aside from constants like that, the PokéAni tends to change its narrative style each season (and Ash along with it, but this post really isn’t about him). For instance, the first two seasons ever produced—and the first season itself in particular—are markedly different in tone from everything that followed, even when compared to the Johto seasons of the OS. The Johto seasons were more formulaic; they’re chock full of episodes that are very same-y and that you can skip right on over without losing anything of value. Meanwhile, the Kanto season was really treated as an adventure; it was less about showing Ash going through the game journey, and more about showing him on a journey, period, even when it included messier aspects like the kids being lost for two weeks on the way to Vermilion City, and being completely caked in dirt by the time they finally arrived, longing for baths and laundromats. Similarly, the Kalos saga is markedly different in tone from the Alola saga. The Kalos saga took itself more seriously, and so while there still were moments of comedy and some typical anime expressions here or there, by and large it was more … I don’t want to say realistic, because it still is a modern fantasy anime, but you had a lot less exaggeration in terms of animation style. By contrast, the Alola anime doesn’t seem to take itself nearly as seriously (at least right now), and the animation is a lot more exaggerated and over the top. Compare, for instance, animation sequences of the twerps falling asleep thanks to Jigglypuff’s song in the OS to the same situation in SM. Yeah, a lot of it is due to the fact that their animation budget is much higher now, and the technology they have to work with is much better et cetera, but a lot of it also has to do with a tonal and style shift.

So with all of that said, it’s really hard to predict what this saga will do, because we can’t exactly use previous sagas as a concrete frame of reference. We can try to make guesses … but it’s hard, because each saga is so distinct, they all have different things they were trying to accomplish. Just because one saga might have followed through doesn’t mean that this one will, and vice versa. And even though it’s been about a year so far, I feel that the Alola anime is still a bit too young to make a call, especially since …

Well. We all remember what happened in Kalos, don’t we?

Lysandre was a realistic depiction of an abuser. The emotional abuse he layered on Alan, and the way that he lied to, manipulated, and used him like a tool is blatantly obvious, despite the cordial way he behaved around everyone else. As a result, and speaking as someone with C-PTSD from abuse myself, the C-PTSD that Alan has is also very obvious, and is also a realistic portrayal. Lysandre was an abuser, Alan was his victim, and this is obvious to everyone except those who purposefully refuse to see it so they can have an excuse to keep trashing all over Alan the way they do. 

And for the most part, PokéAni handled this well! Like, I was legitimately impressed with how well they handled it! Again, Alan’s C-PTSD was extremely well portrayed. His severe depression was extremely well portrayed. In XYZ044, we see that this has (more than understandably) hit such a critical mass that Ash essentially talked him down from suicide in their garden discussion, even if the actual word was never spoken. (Like, has Ash ever looked that anxious when asking someone to promise him to battle again in the future? I don’t think so. Let’s be real, like pretty much everything else in their relationship, it really was not about the battle.) And yet, despite all of that being done so well, despite it being portrayed so well … the PokéAni writers decided “fuck this lmao” and ruined it in all the episodes that followed by sweeping Alan’s issues completely under the rug, disrespecting his boundaries and wishes once again in a way that actually triggered me in XYZ045, and sending him off on a journey again in the last episode of the saga. They were doing so well, XYZ044 was actually a perfect conclusion for him, and then they … ruined it all at the last second, as they are wont to do. 

So I mean, if we follow that as an example, then it’s perfectly possible that they could continue doing a great job with Lusamine, that they could really show how she is inarguably an abusive parent, how she doesn’t care about Lillie’s wishes or boundaries … and then ruin it all at the last second by “redeeming” her and having everyone decide that she’s not really abusive after all. Or maybe they won’t continue doing a great job, and her following appearances will be disappointing because they’ll pull an OS and forget that they were supposed to be keeping up with this subplot. (I mean, this isn’t really a subplot and so I doubt that will happen, but to be honest, any one of the subplots in the OS could have been a main plot, and they chose not to do that, so like …) It’s really hard to say. The PokéAni writers proved with Misty’s and Brock’s cameos that they can do anything at this point. Almost everything is fair game. (Almost. Ash is still never going to win a game League. People need to just give up on that dream.)

That said, I’d say that if you’re enjoying it now, then enjoy it now! Enjoy it while you can, for as long as you can (and hopefully forever). At this point, like I said, anything can happen. I don’t think it’s wrong to hope for just about anything at this point. (Again, just about. No League wins, no eleventh birthdays, et cetera.) So keep watching and keep enjoying; might as well make the most of it while it lasts. :)

(On that note, “technically it’s my clefairy that I gave to you” fjdksjdf fucking yikes. Bullshit like this is why I adamantly maintain that Lusamine is the most realistic depiction of an abusive parent the series has had to date. Ghetsis is cartoonish compared to Lusamine—a caricature. Aside from the fact that Lusamine’s “you betrayed me when all I ever did was give you love” line in the games pretty much mirrors the last conversation I ever had with my biological mother, my biological mother used to hold Shiloh like that over my head all the time. She hated the fact that Shiloh and I were so close, so she used to threaten to get rid of her, telling me that she was going to all the time so that I’d step in line and behave, justifying it by saying that she was the one who gave Shiloh to me, so she could do whatever she wanted insofar as keeping her at the house or not. Of course, she was also fond of the “I brought you into this world, so I can take you out of it” line, but tbh my own life has never mattered as much to me, so that never scared me as much as threats to Shiloh did. So yeah, Lusamine telling Lillie that the clefairy was actually hers, legally, is just … yiiiiikes. There are so, so many ways in which Lusamine is written as a realistic abusive parent. It’s what hands down makes her one of the utmost, absolutely most vile villains the series has had yet.)

[junker-town]

The 12 dumbest mistakes from a preseason-ish Week 1, ranked

Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images

The Dolphins are worse than we thought, the Lions and Cardinals refused to win, and everyone was ejected. Oh, and never dance again, Kirk Cousins. Please.

If the 2019 kickoff game between the Packers and Bears taught us anything, it’s that sometimes Week 1 can still feel like the preseason. That’s the case now more than ever, when most starters spend the month of August standing on the sideline in their comfiest athleisure wear.

While that means some teams take a little longer to find their rhythm once September rolls around, it also produces the kind of cringe entertainment that we’re only used to seeing in the preseason or when we decide to fire up an episode of The Office.

The first week this season was chock full of moments that had us looking away in secondhand embarrassment. But that wasn’t all it delivered. There were also several ejections that suggested some players weren’t ready to end their summer vacation just yet.

Somehow, we narrowed this list down to 12, and that doesn’t even include the Jets blowing a game to the Bills, and the Patriots stomping all over the Steelers right after hooking up with their ex. Here are the dumbest mistakes from the first Sunday of the season:

12. Kirk Cousins celebrated a 1-yard TD dive by dancing like your grandma

Cousins didn’t have to do much to beat the Falcons Sunday; he only threw 10 passes for 98 yards. Rather, the Vikings did their damage on the ground in a 28-12 home victory. The veteran QB even got in on the action with a 1-yard dip into the end zone in the second quarter.

Then Cousins, so delighted to have scored, gave the world his best Andrews Sisters impression.

jesus pic.twitter.com/2N4oI7MODP

— Arif Hasan (@ArifHasanNFL) September 8, 2019

You’ve been told, Adam Thielen. Don’t wait under the apple tree for anyone else but Kirk.

11. Patrick Mahomes no-looks a pass right outta the end zone

Patrick Mahomes has an innate ability to shock the NFL with streetball-style plays that seem impossible in real life but lead to major gains on the gridiron. This was not one of them.

Mahomes already getting tricky with it pic.twitter.com/8A7WmEPDy3

— The Checkdown (@thecheckdown) September 8, 2019

Mahomes’ latest no-look pass was also a no-catch pass, soaring over Travis Kelce’s head and out of the end zone on third down. Just because you can do it doesn’t mean you always should.

10. Pittsburgh’s backup center forgot to snap the ball

B.J. Finney made his first appearance of the season when he entered a Steelers-Patriots blowout in relief of Maurkice Pouncey. He blanked the count on his very first snap, leading to a rare, four-man false start penalty that left Finney standing like an untouched bowling pin.

"false start, all the linemen but the center" pic.twitter.com/tl84yoHmoQ

— Christian D'Andrea (@TrainIsland) September 9, 2019

Ben Roethlisberger threw an interception a few plays later. The two probably aren’t related, but it’s important measuring point for just how awful things were for Pittsburgh Sunday night.

9. A Cardinals OL tried to leap over Kyler Murray and sacked him instead

This honestly might be our favorite GIF of the season, and we say that being fully aware this is only Week 1:

Kyler Murray just got sacked by his own lineman lmao pic.twitter.com/ZatJyFp5mq

— Pete Blackburn (@PeteBlackburn) September 8, 2019

We’ve all had this kind of moment when you know you’re going to bump into someone and there’s no way of avoiding it, and this is dialed up to 11.

Guard J.R. Sweezy is 6’5, 310 pounds. Something in his brain told this exceedingly large man that his reaction should be “leapfrog my quarterback.” Spoiler: He couldn’t.

Honestly, it’s a miracle this just looked like a WWE move and he didn’t crush poor Kyler Murray.

8. Eli Manning needs to know who Eli Manning is

Mistake No. 1 for the Giants was rolling Manning out of the pocket inside the red zone. Even when he was 24 that would’ve been a brave play call for a quarterback who’s very much a pocket passer. It’s even worse now that he’s 38. He has 37 rushing yards in the last three years combined.

Mistake No. 2 was when Manning decided not to throw the ball, but to try to juke Cowboys linebacker Leighton Vander Esch on fourth-and-1. It went exactly as you imagine.

Eli Manning looking like Michael Vick out there! What a move pic.twitter.com/3AakWbjn79

— Eric Rosenthal (@ericsports) September 8, 2019

Let Saquon Barkley do the running, Eli.

7. Kwon Alexander was ejected for lowering his helmet straight into Jameis Winston

One of San Francisco’s bigger additions this offseason was former Bucs linebacker Kwon Alexander. He was having a great first half against his former team before he made a very, very stupid play that got him ejected.

maybe dont do that kwon pic.twitter.com/WXQosHIuXJ

— James Brady (@JamesBradySBN) September 8, 2019

Regarded as a rangy linebacker who occasionally has issues with his tackling form, Alexander elected to hit Jameis Winston, who slid head-first on a scramble, with a blatant helmet-to-helmet shot. He was immediately ejected, with three quarters left and the 49ers only up by three points.

6. The Jaguars are still fighting everyone

The Jaguars’ hopes of returning to the top of the AFC South took a huge hit when Nick Foles broke his clavicle after throwing a touchdown. That was completely out of their control, though. It’s simply the hand fate deals what is a habitually hard-luck team (and any resident of north Florida).

What the Jaguars didn’t do was keep their cool. Myles Jack, who recently received a big raise and was named a team captain, was ejected for throwing a punch against Chiefs receiver Demarcus Robinson:

#Jaguars LB Myles Jack ejected for throwing a punch at a #Chiefs player after the play is over. pic.twitter.com/24OJ2WYypD

— Big Cat Country (@BigCatCountry) September 8, 2019

He then had to be held back and escorted off the field.

Although Jaguars players fighting has been a fairly common occurrence in recent years, that it happened in Week 1 was a sign that this team might not be ready to contend again. Instead, they just found ways to embarrass themselves — like the once-proud Jacksonville defense surrendering 40 points and almost 500 yards.

5. Greg Robinson’s ejection summed up the Browns’ Week 1 experience

The Browns reign as AFC North favorites may be over after just one week, and some of their offensive struggles can be chalked up to the left tackle who took his reputation as the club’s weak link to a new level Sunday. Greg Robinson only played 1.5 quarters in Week 1, earning an early trip to the locker room for kicking Kenny Vaccaro in the face.

welp, the Browns will have to play the second half without their starting left tackle. Greg Robinson ejected for kicking Kenny Vaccaro right in the face pic.twitter.com/y324hpluQ7

— Christian D'Andrea (@TrainIsland) September 8, 2019

This was awful timing. With Kendall Lamm hurt and both Austin Corbett and Wyatt Teller inactive, Cleveland was reduced to fielding a rotation of misplaced blockers and backups. Justin McCray, an interior lineman acquired from the Packers eight days earlier, moved to right tackle. Right tackle Chris Hubbard moved to the blindside. Neither was especially helpful in pass protection; the Browns gave up five sacks, including one in the end zone that resulted in 2019’s first safety.

Even worse, Robinson’s 15-yard unsportsmanlike penalty was one of 18 times the Browns were flagged. They gifted the Titans 182 yards on those penalties.

4. Jameis Winston is still making rookie mistakes in year 5

Once upon a time, Winston showed everything the Buccaneers could’ve asked for out of a No. 1 overall pick. He was mistake prone, but made enough big plays to inspire promise. Fast forward to his fifth NFL season and Winston’s inability to avoid turnovers is going to get him run out of Tampa Bay.

The Buccaneers hired Bruce Arians hoping the quarterback guru could finally get Winston to pull it together. Unfortunately for Tampa Bay, Winston still makes plays like this:

The @ahkello pick six to clinch it!#GoNiners pic.twitter.com/cNSR9kgGLP

— San Francisco 49ers (@49ers) September 8, 2019

The Buccaneers had a chance win, but Winston’s off-balance lob into traffic sealed the win for the 49ers. That was his third pick of the game. What else is new?

3. Just everything about the Dolphins

Yo. We knew the Dolphins were going to be bad this year, but what the hell was that?

Miami got trounced by the Ravens 59-10 and it was 42-to-freakin’-3 at halftime. It legitimately looked like the Ravens were playing one of those faceless “FCS Southwest” teams that were in Dynasty mode on NCAA Football 14.

Ryan Fitzpatrick threw an interception to start off his day. The Dolphins had two receivers in the general area — bad spacing leads to interceptions! And just like that, Earl Thomas had an easy read for his first pick as a Raven.

INTERCEPTION @Earl_Thomas ‼️ pic.twitter.com/JOlsdWRxcc

— Baltimore Ravens (@Ravens) September 8, 2019

The Dolphins’ defense was even worse somehow. They let the first catch of Marquise Brown’s career go 47 yards for a touchdown. There was somehow not a single Dolphins player in front of Brown as he raced to the end zone.

first catch of his career pic.twitter.com/RtYwDnLtvT

— charles mcdonald (@FourVerts) September 8, 2019

His second touchdown catch was somehow even more embarrassing for the Dolphins. Miami only rushed three defenders on third down and, amazingly, let Brown beat them deep for an 83-yard touchdown.

Eight defenders in coverage!

second catch of his career pic.twitter.com/zsE9vMpKHL

— charles mcdonald (@FourVerts) September 8, 2019

Miami gave up 643 yards and gained just 200. 643 yards.

And now some members of the team want to get off this sinking ship and are reportedly begging to be traded. We’re so, so sorry Dolphins fans.

2. Does Kliff Kingsbury think the NFL has college football OT rules?

Kliff Kingsbury’s NFL debut did not get off to a promising start. Early in the fourth quarter, the Cardinals were trailing the Lions 24-6 and Kyler Murray’s passer rating was hovering around 28.

Then they surged back, tying the game on a touchdown and two-point conversion with less than a minute left in regulation. They had all the momentum heading into overtime.

After both teams traded field goals, the Cardinals got the ball back. At this point, any score would win the game; if neither team scored, it would end in a tie. Murray got the Cardinals to midfield, but when a third-down pass fell incomplete, Kingsbury had a decision to make with a minute left: go for it on fourth-and-7, or punt and almost assuredly settle for a tie.

Unless Kingsbury forgot about the NFL’s OT rules, he decided a tie was better than nothing in his first game. Arizona surrendered:

ARI decided to punt to DET from the DET 46 on 4th & 7 with 1:10 remaining in the OT while tied 27 to 27. With a Surrender Index of 58.73, this punt ranks at the 100th percentile of cowardly punts of the 2019 season, and the 99.6th percentile of all punts since 2009.

— Surrender Index 90 (@surrender_idx90) September 9, 2019

And yes, the game ended 27-all.

In fairness to Kingsbury, Tramaine Brock Sr. almost validated the decision to punt when Matthew Stafford’s ill-advised pass went straight into his arms ... and the veteran cornerback dropped it.

Murray’s reaction says it all:

The Cardinals dropped a potential game-winning pick with 5 seconds left in OT. Kyler Murray and Christian Kirk had the exact same reaction as you did pic.twitter.com/HHW1jm6vP0

— FOX Sports: NFL (@NFLonFOX) September 9, 2019

Yet, that wasn’t even the worst mistake in the Lions-Cardinals game.

1. Why did you call that timeout, Darrell Bevell?

The Lions needed just five yards to pick up a likely game-clinching first down in the fourth quarter. The Cardinals were out of timeouts and the Lions were near midfield. At the very least, the Lions would’ve been able to milk the majority of the remaining clock and give the Cardinals just a few seconds to spare.

So you can understand Matthew Stafford’s frustration when a first down pass to J.D. McKissic was nullified by a timeout. Especially when offensive coordinator Darrell Bevell was the one who called it.

The play clock was running dangerously close to zero, but Stafford’s in his 11th NFL season — let him handle it.

Instead, the Lions followed that timeout with an incomplete pass. The punt that followed was blocked and Kyler Murray led the Cardinals 60 yards for a game-tying touchdown. The game finished as a tie, but it almost certainly would’ve finished as a Lions win if Bevell just put his hands in his pockets.

[survivorwakea]

Episode 11: “Can we bounce back? Probs not tbh.” - Lily

Well I might as well be voted out now. Ain’t nobody want me to win and I’m playing a fool’s game. Asya shout out to you tho queen, love you icon. I honestly don’t care who goes at this point I’d rather make it one more round so I can at least get 7th. Whoever said I was being dragged, tbh you ain’t wrong. Can we bounce back? Probs not tbh.

so... things r quiet once again. I think ive landed myself in the minority once again! I believe that i could be targeted but the bad thing is that im v busy tomorrow and needto wake up early so i cant attend tribal... its currently 11:25 pm, im probably sleeping in like few minutes and then wake up at 4 am just to vote but we'll see.

i dont want to get 8th. its such an ugly placement pls pls pls not

________________________________________________________________

i am worried. i can sense a blindside coming. i am not sure if its coming to me or my allies but this is way too good to be true... im def considering playing my idol this round. either i am successful or then i look like a clown and waste my idol at f8 like zachary <3

shout out .

Yeehaw I've heard I'm the target again. Do these people know that an easier way to talk me down would be to get rid of my allies first? because they've not really attempted that it mostly feels like they've gone quite hard for me. Watch me get a vote at every tribal council until FTC and then not get a single vote again

another round copy/pasting what i threw in my host chat LMAO

okay so basically jared and i are playing the other side really hard to get them to think that the vote is on chloe, but that really jared lily and i wanna vote for bodhi and then jared is getting them to "lie to me" and vote for lily so im pretty sure they're going to be voting for lily thinking jared is voting with them and that lily and i are voting for bodhi when in all actuality me lily bodhi asya jared are voting for zack and PRAYING we can blindside the fuck out of him with the idol in his pocket bc they've gotta have 2 there's two that have been in play at one point or another that are unaccounted for and jared and bodhi STILL think anabel was the leak during the split vote round, when it was me, so im going to have that to claim above anything else at FTC so we'll see what happens this round im feeling kinda confident that we can finally get out zack, but it's going to be pretty tough because those three are smart and i dont think they believe a damn word any of us say, but jared and i have been talking to all of them throughout the entire merge, so I do feel like we've got a decent shot at playing this off well post tribal I kinda wanna just start winning challenges and using those to make power moves i do think the ONLY THING that comes away from this is that if zack goes home this round, and I hammer hard that I want to vote for bodhi this round, and don't, it's going to be hard to convince them that i genuinely want to vote for bodhi next round bc i feel they won't believe me but we'll see because if zack does go here, i really do want bodhi to go out next, but it's just a really tough field to play right now because there's so much lying and im trying to keep up with all of my lies, JUST to finally take out someone from that side successfully that i deem the biggest threat to win and then there's my relationship with elmo that i feel is going to help me legitimately get to the end of the game here, and if those three actually do end up voting for lily, then I feel we'll both be apologizing to each other post tribal, BUT I'm curious when Elmo wakes up if he's going to tell me that those guys are voting for lily and they're trying to keep me out of it, because if he does, that's going to show me a lot about elmo and my true relationship, and if he keeps me out of the loop on that and lies to me again, then im not going to feel super compelled to save him again in the future like i feel i did this round

Trust List 4.0:

1. Asya 2. Bodhi 3. Lily 4. Johnny 5. Chloe 6. Elmo 7. Zack

Today has been one of the most intense rounds, between playing damage control on Lily and Johnny, and playing a full defensive blindside on Zack.

Convinced Asya and Bodhi to be okay with Zack being the target instead of Elmo. Created multiple fake narratives for the minority to bite on. I CAN FEEL THE MIST IN MY VEINS! Ya. I also got to the end of the idol bridge but it was already found.

Right now I would feel comfortable going to the end with Asya and Bodhi or Lily. That's the goal.

95% sure Zack is going home this round. 5% sure of it being a Bodhi blindside.

Peace out! ✌

me: it’s my birthday and i’m on the road for 7 hours so i may not be here much chloe: answer my pms or i’m reaching for the arsenic

honestly will this game ever stop having crackhead energy? everyday it's another crackhead going crazy.. a day off would be LOVELY to vacation away from these crackheads. (ff to me getting the boot tonight and vacationing on ponderosa.) but lets talk bout last round real quick.... i took a huge ass risk not using my idol when i knew i was getting votes. i just had to take a risk and pray for the best and thats what i did and my gut was right. do i take another risk tonight? i guess we'll wait and see. everything this round is all over the place, but what else is new? lemme try and sum it up for you but i KNOW this is gonna come out confusing as fuck.

jared-  he wants to do lily but he also said he'll do bodhi. do i think he'll do bodhi? no because i think they're really close. so i told him i would prefer to do lily just so he doesn't go and tell bodhi i want him out. but i would much rather do bodhi.

johnny- wants to do bodhi but thinks me elmo and chloe wanna do lily but we don't. also had no idea lily was even on the chopping block till i told him. but i trust telling him i wanna do bodhi.

asya- told chloe she's getting votes but doesn't think she's going home and thinks people are gonna vote for elmo.

me chloe and elmo- wanna vote out bodhi but telling jared we'll do lily but telling johnny we'll do bodhi and hoping none of it comes around to either of them that we're being snakes.

get my drift? do you understand? because i don't.

my plan is this... telling jared that i'm willing to vote out lily so i'm not the one coming off as wanting to be the one to vote out bodhi because i know they're close and i don't want tp get targeted this round because i want bodhi gone because i think jared will just tell bodhi i said his name. like they're kinda looking for someone to vote out right now so hopefully they'll go after elmo if he says bodhi and not me. everything seems ot be all over the place, lies are starting to get spilled... do i use my idol tonight JUST to make sure i'm safe because this vote can go literally anywhere? i'm gonna have you sit and wait...

and if i don't use my idol tonight and i wind up leaving.. i just wanna apologize for all the spelling mistakes i've made in all my confessionals. and i'm sorry if i'm still here next week and the spelling mistakes continue.

________________________________________________________________

i could also be totally wrong about EVERYTHING and might totally be overthinking everything as usual.. but like i've said in previous confessionals.. this whole game has been built on nothing but lies. it seems like jury management doesn't exist and we all just wanna lie to each other and stab each other in the back for fun. lying is a hobby in celestial. we lie for fun in celestial. backstabbing in celestial for no reason? sign me up! jury management doesn't exist in this game.. everyone is just out for blood in malicious ways and we all have no problem lying straight to each other's faces. it's so cracked and it's so hard to figure out whats the truth and this has been the most stressful game i have ever played. but don't get it wrong.. i'm here to fight and i'm here to put that knife in your back and lie straight to your face every single round.

It feels as though this has a bigger chance to go wrong than I let on in my first confessional, so I just want it to be on the record that I am indeed uneasy at 8:46 PM EST on Day 28.

just want on the record that i am uneasy about this vote

________________________________________________________________

Zack is voted out 5-3. He becomes the fifth member of the jury.

[markyishanthonymartinez]

4/7/17

hello hello hello.

im a bad person. like actually a bad person. i did something legitimately bad that i dont really want to talk about but i have to be honest with this blog and like idk it’s on my mind so i gotta. okay how do i say this. fuck okay i’ll just do it.

i missed class today. for the first time all semester. i’m a bad person. i was just so tired after this week and our story last night. my alarm woke me up, and i went pee, and got back in bed, and the next time i opened by eyes it was 9:47. aka 47 minutes after class started. i feel bad. i always feel bad when i miss class. poles is funny. he took a selfie with all his friends who showed up to class. aka himself and 3 stick figures drawn on snapchat. 

at least i got to eat breakfast and then go to the ecc and study for our quiz. also, bags did the exact same thing i did and thus was not able to wake me up and stuff.

studying was chill, i listened to new music. i’m mad kendrick didn't drop his album today, actually mad. i was looking forward to it. the new harry styles track was actually enjoyable and I'm surprised. the new chainsmokers was... fuck them. just not listenable like i can't I'm sorry. i had never listened to halsey before, but its exactly what i thought it was, overproduced hipster girl pop trash. not that overproduced hipster girl pop is inherently bad, but she’s bad. other new tracks were whatevs. wait wait i almost forgot, the new french montana track was horrendous. like what even is that fam. idgi.

had a quiz in systems. it wasn't horrendous, but still pretty bad and that made me a sad mark. 

i got froyo with poles after and then he came over and hung out with bags and kyle and i. we made kyle wait outside for like 15 minutes and pretended we weren't home lmao. 

oh yeah kyle’s here btw. his spring break trip got cancelled and he figured why the heck not.

but yeah then kyle left to go day-drinking with kassandra and bags went to work and poles and i literally just hung out in my room doing pretty much nothing.

it made me happy cause like poles and i literally were not doing anything but we still had super fun times and that’s so qt and he’s my bestest bff. 

he left to go on a tinder date. she didn't come. fuck that b. who would stand up mr alex s poles. like wtf. that hanna bitch better watch her back. 

played games with buds.

then kyle came home drunk and i kinda just turned netflix on and left him and kassandra downstairs. like i guess that kinda makes me a bad host but, idk i was just trynna play games with buddies and they just ran up on me all drunk and high or something idrk.

but yeah

time for deep mark.

okay i kid you not, but i googled questioning general beliefs and the first link was an lds.org video lmao.

but really uh time for thoughts and mark ideas.

okay so like I'm not some all-knowing jerk that is a super genius but i’ve always considered myself to have really strong reasoning skills and i guess that leads me to fake deep mark.

i say fake deep cause idk I'm not a psychology major fam, buzz off.

okay so i’ve had this conversation extensively with myself and my parents and friends and actually quite a few people, but okay.

wait on second thought this one isn't really some psychological deep thing. but kinda will turn into it maybe, if this plays out how my head thinks it will. 

okay so, we as a developed society will more than likely face a frightening revolution within our lifetimes. not like uprising type of revolution but a revolution in the way our entire economic system and the way people function. okay so within my lifetime, i am near certain that self-driving vehicles and the technology behind them will be perfected and mass-produced. what does that do? it gets rid of a huge part of our economy. not in a bad way for economic reasons, but in a bad way for people who need jobs and a method to contribute to society and a reason to exist on this planet. perfected self driving cars won't crash (once perfected), self driving cars will move efficiently and won't be late and won't brake too hard and won't cause damage to themselves and so on and so forth. truck drivers, won't need em. body shops for cars, nah fam. the huge chunk of the medical field that dedicates time and money to car accidents, meh. even car manufacturing and sales will go down cause like why would people need new cars. if you can just nap in your car and tell it to drive to LA, plane travel will take a hit. road work will take a knock, when there’s not people driving poorly on the roads. hoping by this time gasoline powered cars are gone, but if not, self driven technology will be a lot better at accelerating and braking to use it’s energy source as efficiently as possible. the fields go on and on and on and in most of the senses it’s a good thing. like it would be great to not waste money on these things, but people lose jobs, but not like jobs because we have a recession, but if anything jobs would be lost because we’d be doing too well. now i named one field, but consider the continuation of “robots” and computers and machines taking human labor jobs. but not just that, I’ll be a lil harder to replace, but in a perfect world computers take my job too eventually. a computer with infinite options and an understanding of which options are preferred will always be quicker, more efficient, and probably even better at engineering than i may ever be. it’s just a matter of developing a very complicated code. 

i’ve talked a lot but i’m just now getting to my actual thing. what do people do when they have nothing to do? like it’s easy for me to sit here and say idk fam watch netflix and relax, but no really. if even 20% of all currently employed people had their jobs taken by a computer tomorrow, what do they do? like they didn't lost their job because of economic issues or they fucked up, no like their method of bringing bread home is no longer available. what do people do? looking past the economics of it, let’s say the government is super aware and like wow people you’ll just get paid to exist cause we dont really need you as laborers. what do people do? have we forced people into just being laborers? i feel like there’s so many people who are nothing more than their 9-5. they go to work. they have small talk and perform a simple task over and over. they come home. they eat dinner. they stare at a screen for 4 hours, they go to bed. they do it again. i dont think anyone is inherently a mindless zombie like this, but i think it’s happened. if you just told everyone they didn't have to work tomorrow or the day after that or after that, people would have no idea what to do with their lives.

i dont think this, but i should mention it, what if some people really are just zombies? what if some people really don’t think anything. what if some people dont have any real deep down interests. or they can, but they dont care enough to. what i become that. 

i dont ever want to be that. i want to be me. i never want to go through the motions.

i’m better at closing this conversation off in person but i am scared to see what happened when we reach a society where laborers aren't needed. (please forgive me, i dont mean this sourly) where, the less intellectual are put in a place where they have to sit around and feel purposeless to society? of course i’m looking at this in a dystopian sense, i assume that similarly to the renaissance, art and knowledge will be further pursued when we are chilling financially, but idk it’s interesting to think about things like that. also the general public will grow more and more knowledgable along with this and maybe we’d have a super crazy smart culture. idk fam, this wasn't actually that deep but just something i thought of and not really on the theme of questioning things. that will come mañana and beyond that i’m still working on it. sry

-mark