#also not even test it yourself like be soooooo so so for fucking real have you ever heard the word hygiene before

[vampmilf]

did i ever mention btw that this hotel didnt even have an allergy list for the sold food before i asked the boss for it and she was like "hm yeah ive never seen anything like that here, i dont know if we have one" like be so real with me right now. if i was a guest asking and got this answer i could get you shut down with two phone calls.

[illfoandillfie]

also my god E9 w/ himbo rog 😳😳 - ☁️

Okay I got lost in the himbo rog sauce and this is less of a blurb and more of an unedited 2.5k word fic 😳 i lov this lil dummy so much

It’s something you’ve talked about before, more than once. Roger has a bit of a thing for public play and while it’s not as strong for you, you do kind of get it. On one hand the danger and excitement and on the other the potential for embarrassment. You’ve played with it once or twice too, a quickie in a bathroom at an awards show Roger was invited to attend, or leaving your panties at home when you went out to a nice restaurant for dinner. But it’s not something you indulge in very often, mostly because you’re too well known. Roger is in a world famous band and you’ve been on TV and radio enough to be recognisable in the local community (though, of course, your relationship has gained you a bit of wider notoriety too. Good for your charity, not so good for your personal life.) There is a legitimate risk of being caught by the wrong person and finding yourselves splashed across every tabloid in London and that’s something neither of you want. The closest to public sex you’ve had in months is fooling around in the pool and with the size of Roger’s properly and how closed off the garden is, the chance of even the neighbours spotting you is virtually non-existent. But recently, you’ve been talking about using hypnosis to make it feel like you’re in public. Roger is keen on the idea, especially if he’s the one who thinks it’s real and you’ve been discussing logistics and limits so you both know what would be hot in case you do decide to test it out. You have to admit, the idea of making Roger think he’s in the middle of a public venue while you tell him what a pretty slut he is, is definitely a turn on. But it stayed as just an idea for a while.

That is, until one day while Roger is unpacking the groceries you’ve just brought in. He bent down to pick up a bag of potatoes and you caught sight of the top of his undies peaking out from under his jeans. Except, they weren’t his undies. They were yours. Red satin briefs. You found yourself giggling without meaning to. Roger turned to see what you were laughing at, blushing a little when you tell him. But he covers his slight embarrassment with a shrug.

“All mine were on the line when it rained last night so I didn’t have a dry pair this morning. Figured you wouldn’t mind.”

“You mean every one of your briefs was on the line? All of them?”

Roger just shrugged again in what he must have intended to be a casual, carefree gesture.

You laugh again, “I kind of really want to drop you right now,”

“Seriously? Just from me wearing your knickers?”

“Well there might be other factors….that scene we’ve been talking about. But also, it’s kind of just that hot. And, y’know, I don’t think it was just the wet washing that made you put them on. I think that was a convenient excuse because you liked wearing the pair you ruined and wanted to do it again. This probably isn’t the first time, is it baby? And maybe you wanted me to notice so I’d tease you about it?”

He scoffs a bit, pulls his jeans up a little higher on his hips and turns back to the groceries.

“Bet the satin feels good against your semi huh baby?”

Roger paused again and sighed, “drop me,”

“What was that?”

“I should never have taught you how to domme,” he shook his head, “But please put me under,”

“Aww, good boy for asking so politely,”

“Fucking hell,”

“Let’s finish putting this stuff away first,” you laughed, “then I’ll take you out to the couch and think of something wicked to do to you.”

 After you’d double checked that no perishables had been left in grocery bags you and Roger heading into the living room so you could hypnotise him again. You went through your usual routine of breathing exercises to relax before counting him down, telling him that being embarrassed would only make him more horny (increasing what was already there) and making his mind drip away. But you took a little extra time after that to explain the scene.

“We’re in a coffee shop right now. On a date. Sitting on the same side of a private booth but there are people all through the shop, chatting to friends as they drink tea or coffee or hot chocolate. One lady over by the wall is enjoying a muffin as she reads a book. And there’s a man at the next table with an open briefcase and a stack of important looking documents that he’s highlighting and making notes on. It’s not too busy but there’s a low level bustle as everyone goes about their day. We’ve been having a nice time, talking. Or at least trying to. You’re finding you’re too dumb to understand what I’m talking about. You keep getting lost and getting distracted, letting your mind wander. It’s hard for me not to notice so I keep stopping to look at you and that’s making you feel embarrassed, isn’t it?”

Roger nodded, his cheeks once again tinged with pink, as he squirmed in his seat, trying not to be too obvious.

“Finally, after a long pause I decide to click my fingers to bring your attention back.” You clicked and told him to wake up.

He looked around the room, taking in the people that weren’t really there. You saw him raise his hand as a greeting to one of them. And then his eyes fell back on you and he squirmed again, struggling to make eye contact.

You leaned over, put your hand on his, “You’re very distracted today baby. But that’s okay,”

“Is it?”

“It is, because I know why you’re here.”

“You do?” he looked more confused by the second.

“Of course baby, I know everything about you. I know what you want, I know what you like, and I can give that to you,”

Roger gulped, his breathing heavier, as his eyes darted around the room again, checking if anyone had overheard.

“You wanna know how I know?”

“Yes?”

You chuckled at his uncertainty and he dropped his hands to his lap, clearly embarrassed, “I know because I’ve seen what you’re wearing right now. Should I tell everyone?”

Roger shook is head, biting his lip.

“No? You don’t want everyone here to know you’re wearing pretty red satin knickers? Women’s underwear?” you traced your hand up his thigh as you spoke, knocking his out of the way so you could palm him over his jeans, “Then why are you so hard?”

Roger whimpered, “please,”

“You know what kind of boy goes on a date in his girlfriend’s panties? A naughty little brainless boy. A boy who deserves to be humiliated. And I can do that for you. I can tell everyone what kind of a Dummy you are, let them watch while I play with you. Unless…unless you don’t want that? Maybe you could change my mind.”

Roger opened his mouth and then closed it again, unsure how to respond. He decided to just smile at you instead.

“Tut, tut. Such a Dummy,” you tapped his forehead, “Think baby. You’ve been distracted since we got here. Too dumb to hold a conversation. Too dumb to understand anything I’ve said. And getting so horny. So what have you been thinking about?”

His eyes lit up, finally a question he understood and could answer, “Your cunt,”

“What about it?”

“How much I love it!”

“Yeah? Well, maybe I won’t have to tell everyone what a silly little bimbo you are, if you tell me how much you love it. Worship it, worship me.”

Roger grinned, nodded enthusiastically, as he leaned a little closer to you, I love your cunt so much. So much. SO much!”

“Specifics baby, tell me why,”

“Mmmm soft and pretty. Aaaannnnddd taste good. I like how it feels when I lick you. And how it feels on my cock. Warm. Wet. I love making you wet soooooo much. It makes me happy. Oh! How you sound! Moaning! Everything, so much. I want to lick your cunt allllllllll the time. Can I? Now?” He slipped off the seat, onto the floor, dodging the edge of a table only he could see. You watched, trying not to giggle too much as he looked up at you, pleadingly. “Please? Now? Cunt now?”

“You’re obsessed.”

Roger nodded, “Please?”

“No, I don’t think I want your mouth just yet. But maybe later,”

“Later?” Roger pouted, “But…..”

“Look, if I’m being honest, I thought you’d be more embarrassed by that. I forgot how you get when I take your brain away. How you turn into a cunt hungry Dummy. So I guess I’ll have to think of something else.”

Roger waited patiently, kneeling on the floor, as you thought.

“Hmmmm I think you should put on a little show for me. Strip. Down to those pretty knickers you stole.”

“What? Here?”

“Yes baby, right here. And you know why you’re going to do it? Because it’ll make me happy.”

The embarrassed blush that had subsided as he talked about his favourite subject returned to his cheeks and spread over the rest of his face as he crawled out from under his table and looked around the café again. The was no music but he began undressing as if there was, the red flush spreading down his neck as he slowly pulled his shirt over his head and swung it around before throwing it to you. Next was the jeans. He popped the button and wiggled his hips as he unzipped them, pushed them down and kicked them across the floor.

“I think someone’s seen you baby.”

He froze and gulped, eyes darting to the other side of the room as you stood up. When he looked back you were right in front of him, sliding your hand into the satin panties to grasp his cock.

“Everyone knows now.” You raised your voice as if speaking to the room, “Look at this dumb little sissy boy, all horny from dressing like a slut and worshiping cunt. It’s kind of pathetic. What should I do to him now?” you left a pause which made Roger squirm, “how about I spit in his mouth?”

Without being asked Roger opened his mouth for you to spit on his tongue, swallowing it when you pulled back.

“Good boy Dummy. I think you should be rewarded for that. Maybe everyone here should get to see you fuck your mistress until she cums.” You pushed the panties down just enough to free his cock before removing your own pants and underwear. He watched, enraptured as you lay back on the couch and spread your legs for him, needing a click to get him to take the spot between them.

“You’re so wet,” he mumbled, the flush fading slightly.

“All because of you baby,”

He beamed at the praise as he lined himself up, waiting for you to approve before he pressed into you and then letting you control how slowly he went.

“Go on, fuck me,” you said once you’d adjusted a bit, “show everyone how much you love my cunt,”

He braced his arms on either side of your head as he began thrusting into you, still smiling even as you kissed along his mouth and jaw. You lazily rubbed your clit, keeping up a string of complements about how good he felt and how everyone was watching, encouraging him. But the boost of confidence it gave him was also his undoing. He groaned against your neck, hips stuttering.

“Are you close already?” you asked. You probably shouldn’t have been surprised considering how you’d tortured him and how hard he’d been but all the same you weren’t expecting it to take so little.

“I’m sorry, you feel s-so good.”

You sped up your fingers on your clit but it wasn’t enough. A few more thrusts and Roger was finishing inside you, moaning about how wet you were and how much he loved fucking you.

“What about me Dummy?” you asked as he stilled.

He tried to keep fucking you but whined when he became too sensitive.

“Hey, stop before you hurt yourself. There’s another way.” You let him sit back and calm down a bit, his eyes automatically drawn to the dribble of cum leaking out of you, “Since you were begging for it earlier, you can finish me off with your mouth. Clean up the mess you made in me.”

He didn’t argue, just nodded happily and pressed his tongue to your slit, licking a continuous line up to your clit and then another back down to your hole where he proceeded to take your words literally and press his tongue into you, seeking out his own spunk. Your felt your breath hitch and your muscles tighten. His enthusiasm and determination to make up for his earlier lack of control made your head spin and your core throb. Every moment you weren’t moaning or telling him how good it felt seemed to Roger a moment wasted, a moment he wasn’t doing enough. And when he did break away from you it was only to repeat his earlier praise about how much he loved having his face buried between your legs and how much he loved your taste. Though at one point you did have to press down on the back of his head and rock yourself against his mouth to get him to shut up and continue sucking on your clit. He took the hint and became very reluctant to stop, even after you came and stopped tugging on his hair. You let him keep going as you recovered but eventually had to forcibly pull him away. He was still pouting about it as you talked him back to reality, dissolved the café and returned his brain.

Afterwards Roger pulled you into a tight hug and kissed you hard.

“I take it that means you enjoyed it?” you said through a bout of giggles, noting the blush still visible on his cheeks.

“Very very much,”

“I’m glad. It didn’t feel too far with the crowd watching us?”

“Nope. That was really hot and a bit of an ego boost if I’m honest. Feel like I should go and play a show now just to keep the momentum going.”

“Don’t get used to it Rog, I’m not letting you do me in front of a crowd every night, no matter how they cheer. But other than ready to rock, how are you feeling?”

“I know you get a little worried when we try new things but I promise if something had felt off about any of that, I’d tell you straight up. I loved it. I loved the café scene, how real it felt. When you said everyone had seen me I looked around and there was a lady watching me from over a book. And then while I was y’know in you and you said they were encouraging me, I swear I saw the guy with the briefcase clapping. It felt really really real. Down to the smell of coffee. And god I loved the humiliation parts too. I would wear your underwear constantly if it guaranteed me that sort of treatment. The spitting thing? Yeah we need to do that sometime when I’m not hypno’d. If you’d kept me in there and told me everyone was laughing after I’d gone down on you I would have been hard again in no time. Like, it was embarrassing at the time but in a hot way and now that I’m out of the scene it’s just like really fucking hot. You’re incredible for thinking of all of that. I love you.”

You couldn’t help but smile at his excited babbling, “I’m so thrilled you liked it. It’s just important to me that we’re both clear about what works and what doesn’t, that’s all. You do this too when I’m the subby one.”

“Yeah, fair enough. But I promise, everything was great and if you ever want to bring that out again I’d be happy to go along with it. But what I’d really like now, more than anything, is to order something for dinner and relax in front of a dumb movie with you. Maybe a hot shower too,”

“Sounds great, I’ll get the takeout menus if you get a cloth and wipe down the couch.”

[silverbastardgoldenfool]

Realm of the Quarantine Reread End-of-Book Questionnaire: Assassin’s Apprentice

Any differences between your first/previous reading experience and this one?

Uhhhhh yep!! I can’t even believe how different it was. Every scene has taken on an entirely different colour and flavour in my memory. I skimmed far too much the first time, yes, but also I just went into it with the wrong framework. I think I’ve mentioned this before but my mum recommended me these books on the basis of my love of A Song of Ice and Fire. She directly compared them and said how similar they were. Because of RotE’s length I had been putting it off for years, and only finally picked up Assassin’s Apprentice because I was itching to do an ASOIAF reread but was (and am) trying to wait until Winds of Winter to do it. 

So you can imagine the difficulty settling into a book like Assassin’s Apprentice when you’re expecting Game of Thrones. I remember my overall impression on my first read being that it was a pretty standard fantasy novel with the only really exceptional thing about it being the characters and their relationships. Characters are always my top priority so it was enough to keep me invested and progressing onto the next book and the rest of the series, but I did so not having absorbed nearly as much as I should have from the first book in the series.

Now, just from revisiting that first book, my understanding of Fitz and the world he operates in has exponentially increased and I know that will transform my experience of every book going forward. I really made sure to make myself slow down and read every word; absorb descriptions and just be in each moment without racing to the next one. Overall this book (and all the Fitz books) are much more concerned with the human condition and the effects of abuse and trauma and deep loneliness than being an epic fantasy. In fact it barely reads like fantasy at all; it’s incredibly grounded and focused. Of course the elements are there, but while Assassin’s Apprentice may not be as subversive as the rest of the series, it is certainly not generic fantasy. This book just feels alive to me now in a way it didn’t before against the rest of the series. I can regard it as a beautiful piece of the puzzle in its own right instead of just the setup. I wanna reiterate I always really liked Assassin’s Apprentice but it just paled in comparison to my unholy obsession with the rest of it. Idk this reread just really shifted a lot of things into perspective for me and I’m excited!!

Something you can’t believe you forgot

So so much but most ridiculous GALEN IS QUEEN DESIRE’S BASTARD am I dumb??? I didn’t even remember until it was explicitly stated lol

Favourite character introduction moments/scenes

It’s gotta be a tie between the Fool, Kettricken and Patience (realising there is a common theme here of Fitz making an idiot of himself). I genuinely was laughing so hard when Fitz is like, actively making himself smaller and so pleased with himself trying to help the Fool, and of course the Fool’s iconic “listen you idiot” ugh it’s just chef’s kiss baby, that’s what we in the biz call a meet-cute! (I know they have seen each other before, but this is the first time the Fool talks to Fitz). Then of course we have Kettricken who poisons Fitz at their first meeting, and Patience who Fitz continuously embarrasses himself in front of before even realising who she is. The fact that all three of these people end up being some of Fitz’s only genuinely loving relationships makes it even better.

Favourite character arcs

I think I’ve gotta go with Verity and Burrich. Verity goes from kind of a bloke’s bloke (he was so different in the beginning than I remembered!) to being a proper King-in-Waiting. He is self-sacrificial but not for pride; he genuinely cares deeply for his people, as a whole and as individuals, and will do anything it takes to protect them. He is far from perfect, and he could have done a lot more for Fitz when he was younger, but once Fitz is in his eyeline and he is confronted with the life the boy has led he seems suitably shamed and tries to do his best for him. He’s a good boy and I love him!

Burrich of course is just. unlucky. His health deteriorates due to injuries. He gets saddled with some kid and is burdened to bring him up to an impossible standard he has set himself (to not shame a man he has an impossibly high opinion of). He’s deprived of a job he loved and was good at, and most importantly he’s deprived of his boyfriend I mean lover I mean “master”.

His arc is not a happy one at all but it is compelling, and I can’t help but love him and feel for him despite also disagreeing with him on almost everything :)

Favourite quote/s

Unfortunately I don’t have any tabs atm so I couldn’t really keep track, but my heart exploded when Fitz said to the Fool after going into his room, “I wish I had a place that were as much me as that place is you.”

Favourite relationships

Fitz/Fool obviously. Even though they don’t have that many interactions in this book I loved every single one of them. The Fool volunteering to care for Smithy after Fitz has endured a long day of horrendous abuse is just!!!!! Kindness! What a concept! I could really see why they develop such a deep bond so quickly.

Fitz/Burrich is just so real and so compelling and it hurts me but I love it. Fitz/Chade breaks my heart bc Chade is manipulating his way into Fitz’s heart - I think without realising it a lot of the time bc he is lonely too, but the power imbalance is not okay when he is the centre of Fitz’s world for a long time and the closest thing he has to a friend. Knowing how Chade behaves not too much later just makes it even worse when he is so nice in this book because it just shows why Fitz has such a hard time being his own person and saying no to Chade ever.

Fitz/Verity for obvious reasons. Fitz/Hands!! They’re cute but it makes me sad that Hands betrays him in AQ. Weirdly I liked Fitz/Molly way more this time but more their friendship than anything. And next is Royal Assassin and their deeply toxic romance soooooo.

And Fitz and his puppies BUT WE DON’T TALK ABOUT THAT.

Favourite setting

Do yourself a favour and read the description of the Mountain Kingdom and specifically the palace. It is STUNNING and something I completely skimmed over the first time cos I’m a dumb idiot bitch I could have been picturing a city of huge colourful tulips all this time but fuck me I guess!!

Favourite chapter

As a rereader I think I’ve gotta say chapter one. There’s just so much to pick apart all crammed into one chapter. It still holds a lot of mystery even when you’ve read the entire series.

Most loved character

At this point I’ve gotta say Fitz. That’s who my heart is with during this book and he NEEDS IT

Most hated character

Okay I found Regal a much better villain on this read and hated him A LOT but whomst I despised even more w the very fibre of my being was Galen bitch disgusting!!!!!! Verity was so like, smug?? when he killed him and it was so satisfying. It’s what she deserves!!

Raise your hand if you’ve been personally victimised by Robin Hobb (most heartbreaking and/or visceral moments)

Literally this whole book was so harsh and I was perpetually emo throughout but off the top of my head, Fitz’s depressive episode after Shrewd and Chade test his loyalty fricking broke me, as did the entirety of Galen’s abuse/training; since I was paying so much more attention this time it hit a lot harder that he is an absolute textbook abuser and the psychological torment he inflicts on Fitz is just. deeply upsetting to say the least. It really got under my skin.

Details, observations, spoilery notes made with the benefit of the full picture

Okay this is where I just dump all the notes I took while reading that don’t fit anywhere else. It’ll be long lol so strap in.

- It’s never not funny to me that Narrator Fitz comes across as like a hundred years old when in actuality he is like twenty. Also that he looks back on himself with such a sense of wisdom and superiority, yet we know there is dumbarsery aplenty to come. Amazing.

- I’ve never really registered that for the first six years of his life Fitz had a mother who loved him and I don’t know how to feel about that

- REVELATION THAT SEEMS REALLY OBVIOUS IN HINDSIGHT: Fitz most likely only spoke Chyurdan when he was abandoned, which would have played a huge role in why he was not only quiet but unresponsive to what was happening around him. He probably didn’t even understand that he wasn’t going to see his mother again until much later, and he didn’t know how to ask questions. When he goes to the Mountain Kingdom and Kettricken comments that he speaks Chyurdan like someone remembering the language he doesn’t comment on it, so it’s likely that future Fitz doesn’t register that he didn’t always speak Six Duchies(?). He mentions in the narration that the memory of being abandoned is incredibly stark but not necessarily reliable, and possibly shaped by the Skill, which to me opens up the possibility that his memory is essentially auto-translating for him things he didn’t understand at the time. We also know that at the time of writing this he’s given up his memories of his mother etc. up to the stone dragon, so obviously his recollections of these traumatic events are going to be warped by that. Anyway thanks to my sister for pointing this out and being much smarter than me.

- According to Fitz’s grandfather, Chivalry always knew about Fitz. Don’t know how trustworthy a man desperate to yeet his grandson out of his care is but there ya go.

- Weird and hilarious that Shrewd tries to see Fitz on the day he arrives but then just like. What? Forgets about him? For years? lol

- Chade literally tells Fitz that he is a king’s man now and that’s the most important thing about him YIKES

- Chade becomes the closest thing Fitz has to a friend for quite a long time and that is fucking depressing

- It’s interesting that Chade had to be convinced to teach Fitz. It’s hinted at that there was an ~incident~ the last time they tried to train someone, followed by a long period of Chade being left to rot in the walls.

- Not to be out here diagnosing fictional characters but like.Fitz. Literally has depression.

- Fitz having to turn down Fedwren’s offer of apprenticing for him is so sad. It’s the life Fitz should have had.

- The Fool’s non-binary gender is mentioned as early as Chapter Nine! (Published in 1995! We have no choice but to stan!)

- “So quickly we were all made accomplices in our own degradation.” OOF.

- I really realised this time that the reason Fitz seems so shit at things he trained his whole life for later is because all that training was interrupted by many months of isolation, deprivation and abuse. All at the age of like 13-14. He got out of the habit of subconsciously acting in a way that Burrich or Chade would approve of. For a long time the only person he needed approval from was Galen, and he became completely single-minded about it because that was his means of survival. And you don’t just recover from that - especially since neither Chade or Burrich would give him the time of day for an extended period *after* his training was done. When Chade did finally talk to him again it wasn’t to recommence training really; he just gave him a bunch of tasks to do. By the time Fitz got to the Mountain Kingdom he was completely out of practice, and still managed pretty bloody well in spite of it.

- Kind of related to the last point: I love that while Fitz isn’t a savant at anything he’s a pretty realistic jack of all trades. He not only has an aptitude for learning almost any skill or subject but a genuine broad curiosity too. It’s one of the few things that is just him, ya know? It’s just his personality and something he can find joy in, even if it does also factor into his being used by others.

- Imagine being Burrich and finding out that your son thought you were a dog murderer for like ten years lol ouch

- Fitz thinks about the Fool soooo often in the Mountain Kingdom, pointing out things that remind him of him, or things he would like. It’s v soft tbh I love them so much!!

- Another dumb thing I forgot is that Regal is convinced that Shrewd had Fitz poison his mother to death, which adds a rather important layer onto his motivations lol

Anyone doing a reread feel free to fill this out! You don’t have to use the tag :)

[amnachil]

The College Society Chapter 3 Part 11

The beginning of our little trip in France. I hope you’ll like it as much as i did writing it.

Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey Friday March 1

Fate was messing around with him lately. The Dean's grandson, a gifted sexual hunter, who had the natural skill to please absolutetly everyone in bed, was doing some idiotics stuffs with his boyfriend. And I like it. They were leaving for France this evening, but before that, Liam wanted to do something for his bestfriend's birthday. And that was why he, Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey, was doing shopping. Me, wandering in a mall to find a present. I'm doing the errand, that's not normal at all. Since his baboon had lessons to attend to, he had volunteered to find a... a thing. It was a new fairy figurine from a collection that Nate had been looking for since its release. But the blond junior had been searching in three stores so far, and he hadn't found this shitty fairy yet. According to Liam, it was famous and easy to find. Easy my ass. Fuck this boyfriend, I can't say no when he puckers. Anyway, the Dean's grandson had enough of this shit. He took his phone and called Nancy straight away.

"Pussy in fire to the god of sex, do you need any assistance ?" she answered quite fast.

The lad felt a bit relieved when he heard her voice. At least someone who still sees me for what I am. It was so infuriating to act like a nice boyfriend sometimes... Even if a part of him loved it.

"I'm looking for a fukin' doll. I mean a fuckin' fairy figurine newly released... Hell, it's for a friend, of course."

"Of course."

Her tone said she didn't trust him at all. Now this is a real shame. First, Archie had discovered his relationship with the baboon. Nancy wasn't stupid either, she would find out soon. What will happen to my reputation, I wonder ?

"I got this Little Fairy Stephania which is quite rare. There's one copy in a shop near your university."

"That's what I bloody need." Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey sharply stated. "What do you want in exchange for the adress ?"

"Well... I was craving for a new pick of your butt since three days so..."

Once he got back home, the young man made diner. Well, more like a feast. Since Nick's flat was kind of small, they all agreed to make Nate's birthday party here. They hadn't much time anyway : their departure to France was at ten pm. It had been a long time since I've invited this many people here... Well, except for threesomes. No sex tonight of course. Only this dummy Liam and his friends with their pathetic silliness. Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey was almost done with the cake when he heard a knock at the door. Who the hell is bothering me ? They can't be there yet. He opened, frankly pissed, and stared at a girl.

"Hi, I'm Leila Hart." she introduced herself. "I'm the secretary of the women defense club."

"Yeah, and you can go fuck yourself right back in the trash you come from. I'm busy."

He tried to close the door, but she put her foot in the way.

"D.R sent me." she declared. "I have a message for you."

The Dean's grandson looked daggers at her. What on earth D.R wants ?

"Talk, pasty."

From times to times, D.R would send a minion instead of coming herself. At first, he had felt a bit insulted, but he got used to it. After all, it was an opportunity to have sex. But not tonight. I have priorities. To be calling the baboon his priority, he couldn't believe himself.

"She only wants to be sure you'll protect our student abroad. I'm here to remind you the rules. May I come in ?"

"Definitely not, you idiot." he grumbled. "I already know the stuff, stupid. And do not even dare ask me about it. Just leave."

This asshole hesitated. But when she glimpsed his eyes, she decided to obey. Good. At last, he could go back to his cooking.

At first, this birthday diner went mainly well. Liam and Nick managed to have some fun, and Nate eventually loosen up. As for Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey, well, all this nonsense wasn't his cup of tea but... I must admit, whenever I see my baboon smiling like that, I'm melting. However, the lad was a bit pissed by Nate's appetite. This moron wasn't eating at all. While the two glutton were finishing everything, Liam's bestfriend showed no interest in the food. It hurt the chef at two level. Mainly because he was a fucking good cook, and everyone loved his cuisine. But also because he could feel Liam sadness about it. I agreed to help this dwarf, but I don't like him for all that.

"Why are you all grumpy ?" whispered his boyfriend at his ear.

"I'm not grumpy." mumbled Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey. "I'm only thinking."

Liam took his hand and kissed him.

"I know this isn't perfect, and I know you don't trust people easily but please, be patient. I'm sure you'll love Nate with time."

How the hell do you guessed I was pissed about Nate ? This dreamy baboon could be very observant sometimes.

"Fine. I'll make an effort."

Liam Saturday March 2 – Sunday March 3, in France

The unicorns advised him to be careful in France. He lengthly thought about what it meant. Nate was improving, and he had admitted he was glad to have celebrated his birthday. But maybe the magical creatures sensed another peril... Liam did his best to be wary during the flight, but he quickly lost track of time. When they arrived to France, Dami had to wake him up because he had fallen asleep (with the time difference, he was struggling to stay awake anyway). They went to the hotel, where he was sharing a room with Nate and Nick. And for the saturday, their professor gave them free time.

"We won't start the group project before monday." decided Nick. "We'll visit the economics department on tuesday anyway. So let's take advantage of Paris guys."

They did as he suggested. Liam had a lot of fun visiting museum (well, in truth he didn't even remember what museum they went in, because Dami was always distracting him). (No, he wasn't distracted all by himself, it was his boyfriend's fault this time). Nate relaxed a bit, and he seemed to get back a little of his joie de vivre. Frenchs people were nice (they often insulted Liam to be so slow, but he supposed it was their way to be polite). (Several girls also tried to take Colton and him to go out, but they always declined). (Dami declined for him which his usual sweetness : "get lost bitches !"). And so the weekend went well. However, Paris had another good thing to offer : food. There were restaurants everywhere, and they offered delicious dishes. In order to make the most of it, they tried as much establishment as possible. Liam's boyfriend paid for almost everything, but the chestnut lad had also saved a bit for the occasion. Nick and him finished the day more than full. Even Colton and Nate were eating way more than usual. But everything tasted so succulent ! Liam couldn't hold himself but devour absolutely everything they had on the menu. On Sunday's evening, they entered a restaurant called Chez Bocher. They proposed a food challenge which attracted the young students.

"We definitely should try this." said Nick, more than happy to be there. "I'm sure Liam can do it, and it'll be a free meal."

C'mon, I'm not that gourmand. Don't put too much hope on me. Honestly, he was eager to try. He quickly checked on Nate. His bestfriend outlined a smile.

"I guess it can be fun." he whispered. "At least if you think you can manage to eat the whole thing ?"

"You're warned, I'm not paying if you fail baboon." intervened Dami. "Your call."

Even Colton seemed curious to see that. They're all so insistent. (Yeah, nobody insisted, but it was Liam's excuse for what he was about to do.) (He just wanted to test his limit so badly !).

Maybe it was a bad idea after all. Only the unicorns knew how much he already ate. But he had still two plates to finish in order to win the challenge. He was so stuffed. His belly was hard as a rock, like a giant basket ball underneath his now too tight sweater. He had openned his belt and trousers a while ago, to let his stomach expand freely. I don't know if I can do this. It was more food than Dami ever gave him. He wasn't used to such an amount anymore. But the cheerings of his friends were pushing him beyond his limits.

"I mean, that's truly incredible." spilt Colton after a while. "What an appetite."

"I didn't know you had this in you." added Nick. "That's amazing."

"Guys... Imma collapse..." confessed Liam with a loud burp.

He managed to eat two more mouthfuls with reluctance. It was painful. Each morsel of food was pushing further his distented belly. He glimpsed Dami who was texting someone. His boyfriend wouldn't help in front of everyone, since they were still a secret. (Well, Nick and Nate knew, but not Colton). (Or he didn't say it). (And anyway, Liam knew that his boyfriend was a bit sadistic, he would let him suffer).

"I'm sure you can do it." assured Nate with a grin. "My bestfriend isn't a quiter."

He was apparently enjoying the whole thing. Glad to know you're having fun.

"Burp. I will do my.... burp best..."

With slowness, he cleared the next plate. One left. Unicorns please, send help. He felt like a soon-to-explode balloon. His hand rubbed diligently his overstuffed midsection. It was so round, so big.

"C'mon baboon. Let's get this done." grumpled Dami.

He took the cutlery and he fed himself his boyfriend. Thanks to his help and their's friend cheerings, Liam managed to polish the last dishes. The waiter couldn't even believe it. Neither the students to be honest. (Liam felt so proud of himself.) (But also soooooo sick).

"Now that is what I call a new record." congratuled Nate.

Liam smiled to him, but his bestfriend's face suddenly crumpled. Because right behind them, at the entrance, was standing Kilian, Liam's ex.

The chesnut lad couldn't move. Not only because he was stuffed like a turkey for christmas. He couldn't think properly. How is it possible ? There is no way. No way. The force of evils just struck. And struck strongly.

"Liam." whispered Kilian. "and Nate. Hi."

Around him, his french's friends looked at them curiously. But the young dreamy lad didn't do anything. He didn't answer, he didn't do a single move. He was like frozen.

"It's... surprising to see you there." continued his ex. "I mean, you're supposed to be in America."

This evening can't be worse. I need to react. To say something. Tons of things were crossing Liam's mind. Why the force of evils did this ? What should he say ? What would Dami think ? He really wanted to run away, but his bloated stomach prevented him to.

"Trust me, we're surprised aswell." responded Nate after a while.

"Sorry to be the one who break the mood." took part Dami. "But who the hell are you, and why you three look like you've seen god itself ?"

"I'm Liam's ex-boyfriend, Kilian De Beauchêne." replied the main concerned party.

A blank followed. A very long and scary blank. Liam was completely panicing. (At least internally). (His painful belly probably prevented him to do a panic attack). He was short-winded and very stressed by the situation.

"You know what ? Let's not continue this awkward moment." decided Dami. "Liam, get up, we're leaving. This is way too bizarre."

The chestnut boy was more than glad to obey. Nate helped him to stand up, and they all left as fast as possible with their overfed friend.

Barbara Sunday March 3 – Monday March 4, in France

"Sounds cool. Doesn't work."

The blonde girl sighed. When she decided to make an alliance with Rebecca, she never planned this. Well, I wanted her support but... The athlete had come to France with her sophomere friends, Chelsea and Matthew. The first one was a nice but a little stupid law student. As for the dude... I can tell he's sleeping with both of them. Seems like he has a blast.

"I mean, you want to ridicule Nick by charging him of cheating with false evidence." summarized the lad. "It really is a good idea, but the professors will never fall for it. This geek is a real genius, who finished his 12th grade with one hand tied behind his back. Why on earth he would have to cheat eh ?"

I guess you're right. Barbara shrugged, a bit annoyed. It was already Sunday's night, and they didn't have even the beginning of a plan.

"Let's make it easier." suggested Rebecca. "We can make his whole trip a true hell. And in the meantime, we'll think of something."

"I think I have an idea." smiled the short girl. "You told me he was scared of water, right ?"

"Yeah, why ?"

"You'll see tomorow. I swear it will be fun to watch."

Indeed, they have this cruise on the Seine on Monday. Barbara carefully watched Nick when he went aboard. You looks so scared... Poor little thing. Just wait. She had other project for today anyway. She headed towards the back of the ship, where Colton was talking with Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey. I don't get it. Why the king was talking with her ex ? What was special about him ?

"Hi guys." she smiled. "Are you having fun ?"

"Go fuck yourself little roach." answered sharply the junior. "I already told you, no more favor."

"Everything's fine." replied more diplomatically the brown-haired lad. "Well, Liam and Nate decided to stay at the hotel because the first wasn't feeling well, but otherwise we're great."

She didn't care about her chestnut classmate yet. She would catch him a bit later. Besides, Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey wasn't making any progress. He managed to make Nate comes, but he got nothing in return so far.

"You know, I heard some strange thing about you Colton." she revealed. "People nicknamed you the Good Samaritan. Did you make a big donation or what ?"

"I'm just being my usual self." he explained. "Nothing more, nothing less. I didn't do anything related to money. Why ?"

Crap. He's a true mystery. He looked so stupid, so idiotic. But everyone seemed to like him. Since the prof called him, Colton left them, and she hadn't made any progress.

"You're so funny you pathetic bitch." laughed the Dean's grandson. "You're so blind and deseperate you didn't even realise why he was so popular in highschool. Stupid short chick."

"What do you mean ?" (She decided to ignore his cuss words.).

"Are you that dumb ? Your ex-boyfriend doesn't have to do anything special, dumbass. He's so sweet and nice that everyone wants to be close to him. Nobody thinks to hurt him because he's so shining. But there you are, a stupid moron who thinks he had nothing for him. Numbskull."

Was it the real explanation ? She couldn't be sure, but it seemed possible. Anyway, I guess it's too late to turn back. I'll take care of Colton later. For now, let's focus on this asshole of Nick.

He was standing in the middle of the barge, apparently stressed. Since Liam and Nate weren't here, he was alone. Rebecca was making fun of him.

"Don't worry so much ! You've a natural life preserver." she teased. "You have no balls or what ?"

Barbara came closer, amused by this situation. Back in highschool, she thought bullying was bad, but she had finally understood it was a way like another to get the power she needed. To avoid their mocking, he tried to go away and came closer to the edge. That's why I wanted. Nice. There was some bright side to be so small. She could sneak between people so easily. The blonde girl came closer as discreetly as possible. She was so close to him that she could smell his sweat. He was so stressed by their surroundings. How pathetic. Barbara took her phone out. She was about to do something bad but well... She had understood very well how things worked in real life. Be a predator or you will be eaten. And so, she pushed him overboard.

To be continued

France is famous for its cuisine after all ! That’s pretty normal for Liam and his friends to enjoy what this country has to offer.

Aaaaand here he is ! Kilian is back. For those who doesn’t know him, he’s a main character in the last part of The High School Game, my first story. Maybe we’ll finally learn what happened between Liam and him ? :)

Damian is falling hard for his boyfriend, that’s kind of funny. And yes, he’s a feeder at heart.

Being in another country is also the prefect opportunity for Barbara to be nasty again. I liked this girl back then. Now, I don’t.

[chronicillschronicpills]

Helloooo! I hope your knees feel better today:( so I’m going to get a second opinion on my lupus symptoms. I’ve also decided to get tested for celiac disease. I’ve had a lot of abdominal pain when I eat recently which I’ve never really had before. Talking to you absolutely does help me!! My mom makes me feel crazy whenever I bring it up. So thank you for lending an ear, it means so much to me 💕

Thanks for the message, my knees are getting there. 

Im glad youre getting a second opinion. Getting checked for celiacs is a good idea. Just like i always say, these illnesses are soooooo hard to diagnose. Always some kind of process of elimination. If its not celiac, then its just one more thing to cross off. 

I hate when people make me feel crazy. Its actually the worst. You know these things are real and hurt and weird inside your body, and then someone makes you feel like they arent real... you start to question yourself.  I had doctors hear my symptoms, look at my abnormal bloods and told me it was psychosomatic. He would not let me go to a public rheumatologist because he believed theres no way a young woman could be sick. or they take one look at the fact youre on an antidepressant and think youre crazy even though antidepressants are like the first thing any doctor puts you on when you say youre always in pain. So i had to pay 400 dollars for the private rheumatologist and that appointment, i was put on medication for autoimmune problems. If i didnt have the money for the appointment, i would not have been put on medication that has helped me immensely and has been protecting my organs. I hate being told im crazy like fuck you, you try having my body. 

Another thing that would be useful, would be like if the new doctor thinks that they dont know whats wrong, would be to ask them where/who they think they should see for your problems. 

No worries, i like helping you!

Aston 

[drawn-to-space]

Mildly edited RP (because some dialogue are with other people and context would be needed) at the fall ball with Quill on disc.cord. Basically, Swap and the other hosts fake their deaths at the party and Yumi didn’t take it very well… among other things that happened. ((This is only part 1 because Tumblr has a 100 paragraphs limit, apparently.))

Yumi glared at Swap, even though she was very clearly angry, tears almost instantly started flowing out of eyes. She started walking towards him, quickly, running. I’m her head, she was going for a slap, but she was so angry that she made a fist-

Wait- YuMI NO YOUKNOWKARATE! YOU'REGOINGTO-

JBAF!

A second before the plushies hit him, Yumi did. Directly in the face. There might have been a very slight crack sound. It’s a wonder he didn’t get knocked out. He had no idea she could pack such a punch. A literal punch. He didn’t have time to think on it as a second later he was pelted by plushies and pillows, being buried alive. A soft demise.

Yumi almost regretted what she did, but anger was still present. But she didn’t actually want him to die for real this time. She grabbed whatever she could under the pillows who were suffocating him and lift him back up. She was still mad and crying, get ready for a scolding.

“S-Swap, what the fuck!? WHY would you do something like that!? Do you know… hic… how much I WAS FUCKING UPSET!?”

Luckily he couldn’t actually suffocate but it was pretty claustrophobic. He was kinda dizzy from that punch and clung to Yumi when she grabbed him. He managed to focus on her and felt so much guilt. “i-i meant to t-tell you!” He clung tighter. “i-i’m s-so sorry! i-i couldn’t f-find the time a-and i had a plan b-but it might spoil things a-and we worked so hard a-and- h-holy SHIT you punch hard.” His eyelights were shifting a bit in size and slipping out of focus from how dazed he was. He shook his head hoping to make the ringing sound stop.

She could not see him, too many tears, if she did she would be waited for later to scold him.

“That doesn’t matter! And you could’ve told me BEFORE! YOU KNEW I was coming! But that doesn’t mean you can still make believe people ACTUALLY FUCKING DIED!!”

“And I’m not just upset at you I’m upset at ALL the hosts! Doing something like that is- IT’S NOT FUNNY!!”

She was done now, clinging at Swap. Wait, nevermind she had one more thing to say. But, she kissed him where his lips would be, first.

“Don’t fucking do that to me again… okay?”

He sunk into himself more and more at her words. He was about to speak when he was surprised by a kiss. His whole face turning blue. He blinked in surprise, his eyelights were focused now and heart shaped. He nodded. Shouldn’t he worry about the room filling with plushies and pillows? He was too focused on Yumi to care.

Yumi had calmed down, all that yelling and crying had made her exhausted, not to mention she felt a little hot on her face, for blushing.

“I-I’m sorry for yelling so much… I just… just don’t do that again.”

“A-Are you okay, though? I punched you way harder than I wanted to… s-sorry.”

He had a very small crack on the side of his face. Nothing too bad though. “i-i’m fine. y-you’re really r-really strong!” He sighed in a lovestuck way. Seemed he was still a bit out of it.

It may not have been a bad wound but she knows how hard she punched and he doesn’t seem too much in reality right now. The crack and that worried her.

“Don’t be stubborn Swap. I’m not amazing at healing but you should get patched up and check if you don’t have a concussion.”

Although, she questioned if that was even possible, she grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the room a little.

“Can you walk?”

He stumbled a bit but could stand fine. Probably walk. He just kept staring at her with shifting heart eyelights. Even he didn’t know if he could get a concussion. But he sure was dazed. “i-i’m fine. l-little dizzy”

“O-okay.”

She finally arrived at the office. She was worried Swap might’ve fallen while they were walking there.

“Sit down while I get some stuff. Do you know where bandages are?”

Swap stumbled in holding his head. Great. Headache. He managed to flop into a seat. “n-no? i…don’t remember. top drawer?” Yeah he was very dizzy. He pressed his hand to the spot that stung the most and tried to focus enough to use healing magic. It only sparked a bit, slightly lessening it for a split second. He groaned in annoyance. A small illusion on his right hand vanished when he tried to heal his face. It was just a small one making his hand look whole. Without it a hole in his palm was visible. Looked like an old wound though. And strangely clean cut. It would be easily hidden below the gloves he normally wore.

She did see it, his hand. It was similar, no… exactly the same as G’s. She wondered how it happened, to him. However she wasn’t too worried about it. Maybe she’ll ask later, for now there are more pressing issues.

“Hey, don’t! I can do it myself. You already look like you’re in pain. I’ll get the bandages, please be patient.”

She sounded more like a mother than his girlfriend right now. But she did found the health kit and took small-ish bandages to cover his wound and heal him as best she could.

“H-hey, I’m gonna try something, o-okay?”

She knew that her magic was a atunned to her emotions, so why not test it out. She kissed him without warning and hovered her hand over his wound.

Huh, her healing was a little faster but, God, why was it still so slow!? It’s just a small crack dammit. She is also unsure and too embarrassed to kiss him again.

He pouted a bit at having to wait. He hated waiting. At least it was sweet she was fussing so much. He loved seeing her care. It made the small voice that told him otherwise shut up for a while. Gosh he loved her. He again was surprised by a kiss. Dangit! Totally flustered again. She always got him while his guard was down. He decided to get a little revenge. He cupped her face and pulled her into another kiss, backing up after a second and smirking in a dazed fashion. He felt so proud of himself.

She basically fell because of how sudden and really an off position to be in to be suddenly kissed by your s/o. However, she didn’t stumble too much, grabbing the back of the chair for stability.

She was even more flustered, yes, but she wanted to kiss him again. She did, a longer one, this time, clumsily keeping herself from falling.

Her heart was beating a lot, she felt like their magic was giving small harmless electric surges to each other. She was blushing a little purple, like the first time they kissed. They should probably stop before some embarrassing stuff happens. She pulled away, clearing her throat.

“U-Um… I should probably continue healing you.”

And flustered again. He leaned into the kiss a bit. A few sparks popping. It ended so soon. He felt so light that he almost didn’t even feel the crack. He wanted to hug her and never let go. Be close and listen to her heartbeat. Hold her hand. He was soooooo smitten. He nodded a bit and giggled like a child who just got a treat. Heart eyelights sparkling. He was still dizzy but that didn’t bother him at the moment. He could only think about how pretty she was.

She placed her hand over his wound again and quickly finished healing him. It left a small scar but it was way quicker to heal him than before, probably because of the kiss she gave him. It did make her feel like her magic was sparking a lot more.

After putting a small bandage on his mostly healed crack she backed away a little and yawned.

“W-Well I’m all done. Do you feel better?”

His head cleared more when it was patched up. He pain had gone away but a headache remained. Which was annoying him. “y-yeah.” He was a little worried about the world spinning. Normally it calmed down by now. Oh wait- He pressed his hand to the back of his neck, taking a breath before a big spark of magic popped which made his eyelights vanish. It took a good thirty seconds for them to show up again but it evened out the dizziness. Something must have gotten set off with his magic levels. It was surprisingly easy to do. He squinted. Oh great. He forgot it made things more blurry for a time. He could hardly see like this. “m-much better! fixed the dizziness too. just…uh….” He looked embarrassed. “d-don’t laugh okay?” And with that he got a pair of glasses out of his inventory. They were large and round and when put on with tape they took up quite a bit of his face. At least he could see with them. Worth it to be able to see her. He couldn’t remember if he’d ever worn them around her before or just told her about them. But he still felt embarrassed for how nerdy they made him look.

“Why would I-?”

Oh my god, those glasses looked so big on him. He looked like a huge nerd, a cute nerd. Holy shit, she couldn’t help but shyly smile. She couldn’t help but say it ou y loud either.

“You look so cute. Why would I laugh?”

He wrung his hands sheepishly. “b-because i look l-like a dork…a-and not as cool as i normally do…?” Girls liked cool guys right?…She seemed to like this too though. Maybe she just liked him. Aaaaand there was that light happy feeling again.

She giggled.

“You are a dork, Swap.”

“You dont need to look cool for me. I like you because you’re you, a huge dork.”

She chuckled shyly. What is she even saying? Stop talking, Yumi, you’re embarrassing yourself.

He beamed brightly. She liked him for him? Well of course she did! Duh what was he even thinking? Worrying about that stuff. He was still a little embarrassed but it was okay. He hopped up and hugged her tightly. “you’re the best!” He paused and put a hand over where the crack had been. “a-and you can really pack a punch.” His eyelights turned into little stars and he looked up at her. “you’re cute and badass!” The best combination. He’d be sure not to get on her bad side.

She jolted a little by the sudden hug, but she did hug him back, giving him a warm smile. However, it turned into a much more embarrassed expression, as he continued complimenting her.

“U-Um… t-thanks.”

“B-But, sorry about that… a-again… I should’ve hold off, since I know karate and all…”

He seemed far too excited about getting punched. “it was super cool! i didn’t see it coming! probably deserved it honestly.” He just seemed to get more excited. “you know karate?! oh my gosh! that’s amazing!” He stood up straighter. “i’m actually pretty tough myself! training for the royal guard and all. so you don’t have to worry!”

Despite still feeling bad for punching him so hard, she couldn’t help but blush even more. He was complimenting her way more than she thought she deserved.

“T-Thanks… and I’ve heard of them, in my world but… I think they disbanded. Or… maybe they serve for something else?”

“But, it’s pretty cool that you’re training in it. S-Still… I shouldn’t have punched you so hard.”

Disbanded? Odd. “it’s fine! i’m use to taking hits.” He sunk a bit into himself. “i made you cry. probably would have punched myself for that.” He bounced back. “really it’s no problem! i get cracks all the time! don’t guilt yourself about it!”

“O-Okay…”

She lowered herself a little, hugging him tightly.

“I-I’m just… I’m glad you’re okay.”

“i’m glad you’re okay too!” He clung tightly for a moment before remembering something. “oh! do you need anything? been eating well? it’s been a little hectic.”

She paused. She hasn’t slept or eaten much, him reminding her of this made her suddenly feel exhausted, but also hungry. She yawned, as her stomach loudly growled.

“W-Well… not really…”

“But, I don’t want to sleep yet! We haven’t spent much time together… but… I should eat something.”

He nodded worriedly. “wanna go to the kitchen? elly made sure we’d have a wide selection of things. what you in the mood for?”

Her stomach growled again as she thought of what to eat.

“Maybe it’s not a good idea because it’s so late but… I could really go for anything that’s meaty.”

“we have lots of things like that! one of my favorites of course would be tacos. but we have other things too if you want! it’s pretty easy to gather things when you have portals. you can get anything from around the world! and everything that is made here by elly’s weird shadow chefs.”

“Nice.” she chuckles.

“But… yeah, tacos sounds nice. Why not?”

He grinned and took her hand. “tacos it is then! this way!” He led her off to the kitchen seeming to have fully recovered.

“U-Um, by the way, are you gonna eat too? You’ve eaten while you were ‘gone’ right?”

“i’m fine! got a stash of stuff in the secret passages. i’ve been taking care of myself.” He totally ignored the other two in the room and skipped over to find where the tacos were. There seemed to be a lot of stuff to pick from. Even more in the fridges.

It took a moment but he found what he was looking for. A plate with freshly made tacos. He picked it up and spun around to face Yumi. “here we are! take what you like!”

She hesitated a little, but decided to take two at random and leave it at that. She was hungry after all, why would she even hesitate? Well, there also was a lot of choices. She takes a bite.

“Mh! This is really good!”

She starts eating almost like a beast, making herself get a cramp for eating too fast. She pats her chest a lot.

He was glad she enjoyed it but worried about her eating so quickly. He did that all the time but he couldn’t choke. “c-careful! don’t eat too fast! you really haven’t eaten in a while have you?”

After a few more pats she was finally okay. However she shook her apologetically at his question, continuing on eating, but actually taking her time.

“S-Sorry… I was too worried and focused on finding clues to even think about it…”

However, she won’t tell him the last time she ate was YESTERDAY AFTERNOON.

“i’m sorry for worrying you so much. i didn’t think you would react that badly…” He pushed aside the negative thoughts that tried to surface. “but no more of that! just a relaxing party! oh! and i wanted to show you something. whenever you’re done eating we can check it out. plenty of dessert here too if you want any of that.” He sighed. “sadly most of it isn’t sugar free so i haven’t tried it.” He was tempted. Soooo tempted.

“It’s fine Swap, really. I forgive you.”

She gave him a reassuring smile. She was curious about what was the place he wanted to show her, though. She took a few more bites before talking again.*

“Nah, I’m good, I’m not much of a sweets person, anyway.”

“really? i love sweets! even though i shouldn’t have them. just tell me when you’re ready!” He stared at the tacos for a moment before taking one and eating the whole thing in one bite. It was weird how far he could open his mouth actually. How’d he fit it all in?? And it looked like didn’t even chew! Then again how do skeletons even digest things without a stomach. All the questions.

She was surprised but, then again she knew monster food didn’t need to be digested. She finished her food.

“Alright, I’m good.”

“you sure? that enough for you? can’t let my girlfriend starve!” He seemed excited for whatever it was he wanted to show her. Like he could dash off any second. But he also wanted to make sure she was okay. Didn’t want to rush her.

She shook her head and smiled reassuringly.

“No, don’t worry, I’m fine. Besides, I don’t want to eat too much before going to bed.”

“okay!” His excitement got the better of him and he grabbed her hand to lead her off to…the closet?

[kiribakus]

P&P ZINE PRICE FAQ

okaaaaay so since i’ve been getting a lot of questions regarding the pricing + shipping of the zine im going to be fully honest with y’all about our production/shipping costs so you realize NO, we are not overpricing and YES, it really is that expensive.

tell us a little about the pricing of each individual book

for a book of about 300 pages, with ~35 color pages, it’s $11 to produce. that means that by selling it at $25, we make $14. double that to get add the second book. that means for 200,000 words and ~44 pieces of art, plus the extra time for designing, we’re making $14 each. for reference, i charge $10 per 1,000 words of my commissions and hina charges $38 per art piece in her commissions, not including if there’s more than one character or the background is complex. to say that we are undercharging is a massive overstatement, but we wanted to fit within the brackets given to us by the survey and we know that, for example, charging $200 for a fanfiction is not gonna fly.

okay well you could still stand to make less

the amount of money we want to amass, total, is around $3,000 and it is ONLY so we can meet each other and i can show hina around my country and hug her and kiss her. we’re not looking to make a living, okay, we’re just trying to pay for ONE trip.

about those bundles tho

so the “bundle” is $50 with the additions of stickers and bookmarks, we make $25 per bundle (so, less than selling them separately). ultimate bundle is the best deal for y’all and the worst deal for us. we make only $29 off of the $66 we charged bc the extra $37 is $11 x 2 (volumes), $9 (concept art), $6 (extras). so not even half of what we’re charging.

okay so your prices are suuuuuuper fair. but that shipping,,,,

united states (domestic) don’t even touch me. you know usps. you know they’re a bunch of bitches. you can pay $7 shipping. as for international, i know it’s ugly, but you can scan the usps international price listing yourself and see that those really just are the prices.

because of the complaints, i did another test weigh. weighed a 600 page book of similar size, then added another 400 page book that was a little smaller and had lighter pages to make up for our heavier pages and the concept art zine and the extras. together, it weighed just a touch over 48 ounces/3 pounds. THIS IS THE REAL WEIGHT. AND THE REAL COST. have you tried shipping a three-pound envelope overseas?? i don’t think so, it’s fucking expensive unless you’re in canada.

i was playing it safe and using the flat rate envelopes, but because people have been so shocked, i’m going to use first class international rates for three pounds and lower the shipping prices ~$5. PLEASE note this is a big risk bc if our zines end up being over three pounds, we’re paying out of pocket for shipping. this is the best we can do for you guys given that these things really just are that heavy idk what else to say.

(this being said, if you’ve already ordered the zine internationally we will be refunding you the extra ~$5 you paid in shipping within the next week)

[insert other comment]

shipping from chile is a no-go. hina laughed when i mentioned it.

i know you may have bought a decent-sized novel from online and paid $10 shipping but a) it’s nicer paper b) there are 2-3 books 3) i am not a corporation or a fortune 500 ceo. i am a third-year college student using an independent printing press.

as it stands im holding onto my ass hoping there won’t be a lot of hidden costs or fuck-ups i have to fix (ie paying for the envelopes).

the digital zine is a thing. it’s edited for readability, includes the whole story in one, and has all the art pieces. we may end up selling the extras on their own if we have overstock anyway so you could even possibly get those separate. i know it’s not the same as having the thing on your shelf but it’s supporting us, getting the full story over half a year in advance, and seeing all the art available nowhere else. asking $30 for 200,000 words and 44+ art pieces is incredibly fair. some may call it us ripping ourselves off.

i don’t mean to be harsh but like. we warned you waaaaaay back in december that physical copies were going to be EXPENSIVE because we were already calculating production costs. we weren’t lying. this shouldn’t be a shock. i promised you i wouldn’t overcharge, and i meant it. we aren’t. i won’t call these fair prices because they soooooo are not fair to us. but i want this printing to be a success and i want to be able to hold in my hands my writing and hina’s art, same as you. what you see before you is reality. and also telling artists their prices are too high is kiiiiinda shitty, y’know?

[stinkrascal]

Little controversial, but a lot of fun. What are your sim s' toxic traits? Asking all of my favourite story tellers. Let's get deep

omg YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS please i love talking about controversial things lets goooooooooo <3

vlad - he’s a very controlling and overbearing person, honestly. he’s the type of person who trusts his knowledge above everyone else’s and feels he’s the most capable in any given situation, therefore he feels it’s only right that he’s in charge, no matter the circumstance. he’s wise, yes, but after centuries of believing this of himself, his wisdom has warped to unabashed pride, and he finds it difficult to trust another’s capabilities over his own because of it. i like to think this ties into why he’s fairly codependent in his relationships; he needs to feel as though he’s the one providing for, guiding, and therefore “controlling” his relationships, he needs to feel needed, so he seeks out people who feed into that desire, people he feels are “misguided” who need a wise, proper hand to bring them to normalcy. you know, someone like him, the spitting image of normalcy, seeking out impressionable people in an attempt to satiate his intense desire to be needed. like sir have u ever heard of therapy? LMAOOO

breanna - she’s laidback to a fault and oftentimes irresponsible, someone who rarely considers the outcomes of her decisions and someone who ignores the telltale signs given to her. this manifests in a lot of careless, reckless behavior and poor decision making skills. like, for instance, if vlad reminds breanna that the water bill must be paid by x day? you best bet the water will be shut off because queen, irresponsible as she is, forgot to send the check. if she promises to bring you to your doctor’s appointment, you best bet that the morning of you’re gonna call her only to discover she didn’t realize your doctor’s appointment was Today and she is currently stoned asf and cannot operate her vehicle, to which you will reply Breanna It’s 8 AM Why Are You Smoking At 8 AM to which she will apologize and cry and hang up and fall asleep. much like vlad, i like to think this ties into her own codependency issues, as she feels she’s, in essence, unable to properly, or rather, responsibly care for herself, and must rely on someone else to do this for her. she enables his controlling nature by relying on him for most things, and in return he enables her immaturity by providing for her unconditionally. isn’t that, like, super fucked up lmaooooo? like, it’s the sims universe u know, so take all of this with a grain of salt, bc like in the context of my silly sims 4 legacy all of these codependency issues honestly amount to, like, breanna being a happy and uncritical stoner tradwife and vlad being the one who pays the bills and drives. it’s not actually that serious u know. but when you think about it critically and apply it to like real-world scenarios n consequences n whatever... it’s gross as fuck <3 you guys need therapy <3

lucien - like vlad, he’s fairly prideful, as he feels he’s the most knowledgeable and capable of any given situation, but more so than that, he feels the need to show off his intelligence by testing others’ knowledge. he also feels the need to lecture those he feels aren’t as knowledgeable as he is; often he doesn’t realize he’s doing it. he’ll basically mansplain to you for hours, if you don’t keep him in check. also, his ego usually gets the best of him, and he can’t help but find himself better than those he views as unintelligent. it can come off a little classist at times, and this is something which has been brought to his attention in the past, something he wishes to alleviate in his further interactions. it’s a work in progress. ;-;

gen - their main issue is that they’ve a difficult time understanding and empathizing with other people, primarily women. i like to think this comes from their overall discomfort within themselves, whether that discomfort revolves around their personality, their gender identity, or their apathy towards life. women in particular are difficult for gen to empathize with, as it is that gen makes an effort to distance themselves from women, most likely a consequence of their discomfort with their assigned gender. lashing out at the “thing” they wish to distance themselves from is a simple, quick way to tell your peers, I Am Not This Thing! you don’t wish to be perceived as a women? vehemently hate all of that which is considered womanly, and maybe you’ll stand a chance against your audience. that’s... gen’s way of looking at it, at least. it’s not healthy, and gen realizes this by now, but so far it’s not caused too much of a hindrance on their life, save for all the girlfriends they can’t get because of their shitty misogynistic streak, so they’re not too bothered. i can promise you as they grow more comfortable with themselves, they will eventually drop their mean streak. i know gen’s been a misogynist for, like, two years now lmaooo ;-;

carlile - much like his mother, he’s extremely irresponsible. he forgets important dates, he often misplaces his belongings and the belongings of others, he can hardly be trusted to cook without forgetting the stove’s on then burning the house to the ground. he’s also rather bratty, especially when he’s hungry. idk i’m blanking on carlile honestly his toxic trait is being perfect <3

nikolai - he has a hard time establishing boundaries with others, so he often finds himself in situations he finds uncomfortable, merely because he can’t say no to anything. you can usually tell when he’s uncomfortable, as he wears the expression well on his face, but even then, he’ll bite his tongue and carry onwards. worst of all, though, he’ll be upset with you if you’re the one who suggested the plans, even if he’s the one who agreed to the situation despite not wanting to attend in the first place.

klaus - he doesn’t expect anything from anybody, and he feels that all people should feel this way about each other, as no expectations means no one can get hurt. this also means, however, that klaus’ effort put into everything he does is fairly low, and he doesn’t often impress people with his lazy, myopic attitude. he’s self-dependent to a fault, wanting to do most things by himself without considering the help of others, as he feels he’s the only one who should provide for himself. basically, he doesn’t accept “charity” from other people, and he thinks most people shouldn’t accept “charity” from others, either. very much a “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” kind of guy, which i consider toxic as fuck, so, like. :)

anastasia - she’s a lot like vlad; she feels her judgment is the best in most situations, and she feels she deserves to be in charge at all opportunities because of this. her confidence teeters on pride, and she often confuses the two and unknowingly comes across as arrogant and abrasive because of this. she trusts the abilities of others, it’s just that she believes she works the hardest and wants it the most, and this innate desire puts her above others. she’s also prone to fits of jealousy, especially over her friends, an attribute also lovingly instilled into her by her father :p if you so much as look at her best friends the wrong way, she will come for your throat as though she were some rabid dog, about to feast on her next meal. she’s loyal, yes, but loyalty doesn’t come without its faults; she’s quick to excuse her friends, even for truly heinous actions they provably committed, so long as she feels the intention is forgivable. her love and affection for other people blinds her, and often she’ll act in their best interest, even if that means being rude or aggressive towards others who go against them.

ilya - his toxic trait is that he’s never featured on this blog and idk what to do with him <3 his other toxic trait is that when hes a teen hes gonna commit arson. thats sooooo toxic

ok im gonna go through everyone else really quickly bc my fingers hurt HAHAHA ok lets speedrun this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bonnie - her toxic trait is that she thinks 50 shades of gray is legitimately a good book series. LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO

cooper - his toxic trait is that he smells so bad and he doesnt know why he uses soap and deodorant and bathes frequently hes just sweaty asf and you know what Me too king sweaty kings rise up

shivi - her toxic trait is that shes a barista at a coffee shop and she doesnt even like coffee. her other toxic trait is that she lowkey hates vampires :( and thats just rude asf

maeve - her toxic trait is that shes an apologist. she sees someone doing something terrible and shes like OKAY THEY DID THIS BAD THING BUT THEY’RE JUST TROUBLED IT’S NOT THEIR FAULT MAYBE I CAN FIX THEM!!!! like no bitch you cant

tarek - his toxic trait is NOTHING tarek is literally so perfect like he just wants to take care of his sick boyfriend and learn how to be a top tier witch like thats it? He doesnt deserve any slander bye

abigail - her toxic trait is that she’s SOOOOOO clingy to the point where like u guys can be in the same room but if you’re not looking at her rn while you two are in the same room together she’s like DO YOU HATE ME? like abbie please we dont hate u ur just being crazy rn. shes also extremely jealous and self-destructive so like if she feels like u are cheating on her she will FREAK OUT and ruin your relationship bc she doesn’t know how to effectively communicate her emotions and feels the need to lash out inexplicably at everything that triggers her </3 poor girl

karmen - her toxic trait is that she hides behind her humor and nonchalant persona to mask her emotions. she says it’s a coping mechanism, but the truth is, she refuses to meaningfully engage with these feelings, as they’re too uncomfortable for her, so she downplays her struggles with humor. she’s very much someone who acts as though she’s got it under control, even if the truth is, she’s struggling to stay afloat. her other toxic trait is that she will endanger her own internet safety it if means she can get a cute e-milf to send her money <3

caspian - he’s reserved to a fault, as though he’s physically unable to admit what’s troubling him. yet, when he speaks, you can always tell when there’s an issue. it’s always one of those things with him, where the emotion is too repressed to be articulated, yet too present to ignore. he’s so resistant to aid, he’d rather subject himself to terrible situations if it means denying help from another. often, he does this under the guise that he doesn’t wish to be a burden to others, therefore he must take care of himself without help, but he fails to realize that by not helping himself, he’s hurting his relationships around him, which burdens everyone. he’s deeply insecure, and he often weaponizes his insecurities, typically without meaning to. this manifests in a lot of self-deprecation, deflective language during arguments, ie “I’m the worst person ever, I wouldn’t blame you if you hated me after this,” which often comes off very manipulative. again, he doesn’t mean to sound manipulative, it’s just something that happens naturally, something he's gotta work towards alleviating.

vaughn - like caspian, he’s many emotions which are too strong to ignore, though too repressed to be expressed. this manifests primarily through vaughn’s financial immaturity and his promiscuity. he enjoys the physical pleasures of life, and he often abuses these luxuries as a way to distract himself from the very real pain he feels, pain he refuses to admit he harbors. so instead he sings his silly songs and spends his money recklessly and fucks everyone within a thirty mile radius to distract himself from the void in his chest :\

wolfgang - he’s basically an incel LMAOOOOOOO or like what do they call an incel who larps as a normal person to pick up woman? a pick up artist i think? hes that LMAO hes quite literally in the incel community is what im trying to say. i havent talked about it yet but its literally a plot point. if you look in my brainstorm sheet rn it says “Wolfgang munch reads incelme forums every day. Wolfgang munch thinks j*rdan peters*n is the leading figurehead in the hall of intelligentsia.” so like yeah

[hannahmustdance-blog]

So you survived 1 year

Well it’s been a month or more over a year since Ollie came along and I almost don’t know what to write. Personally it’s been the most hell bent year of fucked I’ve ever had on earth. Yet we’ve done it! Here he is freshly 1 heading into toddler life with no fucks given. They say the first 6 weeks are the hardest and that is so utterly true! Even now that Ollie’s older I look back at those early days and shudder. Yet somehow we all survive and come out semi unscathed yet massively sleep deprived. Warrior life right there, pour yourself a damm strong drink you did it! Then you’re meant to get the easier so to say era. I will call bullshit as I had a reflux baby which I went into birth and beyond not even knowing it was such a big thing for babies I was blaze like oh yes cool I’ll just get him some natural remedy for it. Nope nope noooo that’s not what my child needed. So we learn. We adjust. Adjusting is now you’re new found thing and it’s totally about your life with a small human. The 3-6 months was personally such an exploring stage, as well as an my god I can probably leave the house with make up on and an organised nappy bag go me! Yet gets to the car and has forgotten the car keys. Mum brain that shit is legit and sticks for I don’t know how long yet! 6-9months maybe your kid is crawling I dunno, maybe you’ve been doing Mum groups, I didn’t I haven’t and I never will. Ooohhhh but you shouldn’t say so many. Nope no thank you. This is when a lot of comparison comes into play of who’s child’s doing what. How “advanced” one kid is to the next. I’ve stuck by watching Ollie grow and being in the different environments he’s been exposed to. He’s an everyday normal kid. He’s big don’t get me wrong he’s been a hefty small human and is tall but I have never ever uttered the words that he is advanced in his height or weight or cognitive abilities. Be HUMBLE! Not everyone cares about your kid like you do so just remember that. Love them do what you do with them but don’t be a brag pants about your infant. 9-12months, so we’ve already been eating solids and playing with toys, this has been a head fuck for me as I like shit clean! When Ollie naps I clean up the toys do the dishes clean the house only for it to be destroyed again but that’s me as a person I need certain levels of organisation. Throughout allllllll of this shit, take time for you! I mean having a shit by yourself once you have a crawler is welllllll over but little things like a face mask aren’t. The juggle is real and believe it or not you will eventually find a groove and a balance. You will also if you’re anything like me become accustomed to wine time or baby beer time. If you’re reading this as an alcohol free parent wellll you’ve fucked up there. I have become accustomed now to cheap sauv and soda water, I’ve always watered down my wines but nowadays I’m next level. I am cheap wine with soda water. Or XXXX summer beer, however the beers come in at more costly. Soooooo you now budget your drinking and you know what not too bad. Because if you’re now like me with a child that eats and likes to eat a lot your weekly food shop will be increasing thanks to hella expensive avocados so your taste in wine will be required to drop. 12months onwards FUCK. I’m at that point now and it’s hilarious and lovely and all you have had milestones along the way rolling, crawling maybe even walking. Ollie’s just started walking so this has been an interesting shit time of life. Doesn’t want to be in the pram nor the carrier but can’t walk properly. So I’ve become the Mum that lets her kid stand in the shopping trolley despite the shops warning me otherwise. A peaceful time for me is when he sleeps and I can shit and shower alone. Every child is different I cannot believe how in my first year as a first time Mum people want to compare milestones, how much useless shit I bought as a first time Mum. Also how upset I got with other people’s comments comparing their child to mine. You’re going so good Mama, your kid is fine they’re loved, happy and healthy. You’re not a bitch for having meltdowns you are doing the best you can. The candle can only burn for so long. On my last note about the first year is every inch of you will be tried and tested, you will love like you’ve never loved before, you will cry, scream have heart stopping moments but you WILL make it through! If you’ve read my previous blogs or know me you’d know this first year has been FUCKED. But we did it! I am so damm proud that I didn’t give up and that I stuck all of this out, asked for help when I needed it. I would like to thank Adam for taking on his son at 10 weeks old and turning his life around. Not just for his son but Now as a family. To the woman that stood by me through pregnancy, birth and beyond my bestie Hannah Airs, also Ollie’s godmother. My Nanna June, Aunty Brenda, my best cunts Kristi Hart & Ashleigh Hill cheers bitches! Here’s to more years of laughs, banter, bullshit, babies and booze