#also no longer restricting myself to the 16:9 aspect ratio

[riumeri]

08. soar

[airbuilder7]

A year of weight loss: December 2016 to December 2017

I’m very pleased to say I’ve lost 22 pounds (172 to 150) from this date one year ago. Thoughts and graphs below the break.

Just after Thanksgiving 2016 was the tipping point. Family photos were going up during the week, and I was dissatisfied with how my stomach was visibly round under my shirt. 

There wasn’t an epiphanic ping of realization; it was more of a longstanding, growing dissatisfaction and grim determination settling in. However I was feeling, I was simply not going to accept it any longer. It felt like there was a slab or blob on my midriff that didn’t belong there, and I was worried that if I let it sit there too long I would adapt to that feeling as normal and baseline.  

I weighed myself for the first time in a while on December 1st, 2016, and was jolted to see I was above 170 (172, specifically). A few weeks later I bought my fourth Fitbit (a Charge 2) in a Verizon deal when my old cellphone died. I bought a Fitbit Aria scale to go with it a few weeks into 2017 because there was a New Year’s deal.  

As an engineer, it was fortifying to get information on what was happening, and see the numbers go up and down, and see a cause and effect between calories in, calories out, and weight. It also helped that my body and I could remember being at my goal weight in the 150s in May 2014, during college when I rode my bike every day and did karate three to four times a week.  Then I started my job in November 2014 and began sitting eight hours a day. 

Since it’s an engineer’s job, essentially, to obsess over numbers and trends, and having Asperger’s intensifies obsessions, I knew going in that I would have to carefully monitor my obsession over this particular set of numbers, at risk of unhealthy consequences. I’ve found myself at times staring intently, for minutes, at the trendlines on the graphs and the progression of the numbers. What I didn’t expect was the excited, vaguely-unhinged, highly persuasive voice that would remark, with all the inflection of a great idea (since it’s my voice), “You know what would make the graph change even faster! Not eating!” And I would go “Whoa buddy” and explain why that was an absurd, unsustainable idea, because thermodynamics. But I might have had a problem if I wasn’t already on alert about Staring At The Numbers, and if I hadn’t already read about the sorts of thoughts that other friends have had. Because, it’s your voice.

  Other miscellaneous observations: 

My exercise increased somewhat. I began doing Kempo in September 2016, after a two-year break from doing Tang Soo Do karate at Virginia Tech. I went/go to kempo two or three times a week, on Monday or Tuesday and Thursday. I added in rock climbing and yoga at Earth Treks with some consistency on Wednesdays and Sundays. And every now and then, if I don’t feel like climbing, I run for half an hour (~5k ) on a treadmill. The key was adding in an activity on Wednesdays/weekends in addition to kempo. The Monday/Tuesday flip-flop flexibility of kempo classes and self-driven aspect of climbing and yoga attendance gives me rearrange room for social activities during the week. 

It all really started with four chicken fingers in January. I’m a picky eater. I’m not about that quinoa. I usually had seven, but after staring at the serving size and my Fitbit’s calorie meter, I was like “But what if I only have four?” The immediate counter-reaction was “But what if you’re still hungry??!” And the counter-counter was, “Well, then we make some more, duh.” So I had four chicken fingers. They looked miserably few on a plate, so I slid them to a small teacup plate. I ate, and stared at where the chicken fingers used to be. I had some tea, and some water, and waited. I felt hungry, and then gradually not-hungry, and went about my evening. I had less post-meal sluggishness. So I proved to myself that four chicken fingers, versus seven, was survivable. My next step was to go from two peanut butter & jelly sandwiches for lunch to just one. Given how calorie-dense modern food is, you tend to need less than you expect.  

I did not think in terms of “diet” because a diet feels like a temporary restriction you endure to meet a short-term goal. This is more of a wholesale readjustment of expectations for wants and needs.

I bought a food scale to measure how much peanut butter and jelly I was putting on my sandwiches. Because a) I really am that neurotic of an engineer and b) to make good decisions, you need good data. I don’t limit myself to a specific amount in the moment when using the scale. I’m gonna enjoy my damn sandwich. But knowing how much I’m actually eating is helpful in gauging afternoon snacking or spotting long-term trends.     

I do not and cannot recommend this as any sort of plan, but I had colds during the first and third weeks of January 2017. (See labels.) Coupled with day-by-day tracking on my scale, this proved to me at the very beginning that my weight could change, and rather than let my weight pop back up into the 170s, I recovered from the colds without regaining the weight I lost. I think I was able to do this because my body used already-excess fat cells for fuel. If I had been at a static weight at the time, I would have wanted to make a V on the graph.     - Setting a mid-course goal of 160 was instrumental. It was a basecamp that allowed me to develop and monitor habits and check in on how I was doing, while not feeling like I was “only halfway there,” (whooaaa, livin' on a prayer). I met a good goal in its own right (12 pounds!). If I'd dragged myself to reach 160, that would have indicated a correction was needed. But if I met 160 and felt like I was on a sustainable course, I could keep the momentum going to 150. That increment also felt achievable, because all the ads say “lose 10 pounds in 2 weeks!” And I certainly wasn’t planning to do this in two weeks.

A consistent way of weighing yourself is critical, because otherwise you might lose your mind. I weigh myself each morning after using the loo but before drinking any water; water is eight pounds a gallon, and two glasses (16 oz) is a pound. This gives me an artificially low weight for the day, but it’s consistently low. If you’re inconsistent with the order of things, you’ll wonder why you’re not losing much weight. It’s actually fascinating to see on the graph: on weekends my weight seems to drop. Why? Even though I might be out partying and drinking later on Friday and Saturday nights, I also sleep in later on Saturday and Sunday mornings. The extra sleep time means more natural dehydration, which results in lower weight. Be sure to hydrate fully once you have your measurement!  

Your body will happily gain two pounds over a day or two, but then require a week and a half to lose it. This makes sense, because in the first 50,000 years or so of human existence, weight loss was an emergency situation. Breaking even was a hunter-gathering caloric victory, and not feeling hungry for a week was a rare, glorious occasion reserved once or twice a year for festivals. 

This then requires an odd sort of balancing act, because you have to stress your body enough (through exercise and fewer calories) that it digs into its own reserves when you need energy, and you essentially eat yourself alive. But if you put too much stress on the system, it goes into BREAK GLASS mode and restricts your metabolism to conserve resources and ride out a starve. You have to surreptitiously edge away at your fat-cell count while keeping your body in a LALALALA EVERYTHING’S FINE mode. Enough sleep helps with that.

To stave off the AAAHHHHHHH and maintain sustainability: discomfort is ok, misery is not.

To help with this, I devised the Tea Test: if you’re feeling hungry around 9:30 or 10 in the morning, or around 2:30 in the afternoon, have a cup of tea and busy yourself with something. If you poke your head up an hour or so later from your work, that hunger was probably just a habit-signal and discomfort that you can ride through. But if 20 to 30 minutes later you find yourself hungry again, or unable to concentrate, or irritable, then you actually are hungry and need energy. Have something to eat you dumbass, for heaven’s sake.

The Fitbit's calorie deficit amount may require tinkering to your own situation, depending on your discomfort/misery ratio and goal progress. I initially started out at a -500 calorie deficit for a day, and bumped it to -750 in May when progress stalled. My nominal -500 deficit was likely closer to -250 or so, taking into account calories and activities that aren't countable. I also recently learned that nutrition labels are allowed to be off by 20%! Increasing to -750 nominally probably gets me to -500 actual when all is thermodynamically said and done.  

The multi-year picture of my weight record is a fascinating look at a) Fitbit’s increasing quality control and b) my need to see numbers for progress versus internal intuition, apart from the peaks. (Those peaks felt like the float switch in a toilet reaching its limit: “OK, that’s enough!”)  My first two Fitbits died on their own. I regularly wore my first one in the shower, just like my sport watch. Fitbit’s 2014-2015-era ad material promoted wearing the Charge 1 in the shower. They’ve since removed that claim. I take my current Charge 2 off when I go swimming or use the shower, which perhaps explains its current longevity. My third Fitbit died when I forgot to do this and jumped from our sailboat into the Bay on a hot summer afternoon.

More worrisome (?) is the way my numbers pop up when I’m away from my scale or can’t monitor intake with a barcode. I had hoped by this point I would be able to realize, “ah, that’s enough” for a meal or a day after a year of readjustment. This is not the case, as evident by the way the graph pops up after visits home or during the current holiday-party season. 

[petersterlingphotographyfmp-blog]

Critical Rationale

My original project title was the same as my dissertation – “Perception, Authenticity & Simulation”. The main inspiration and starting point came from Peter Funch’s series “Babel Tales” where I was particularly drawn towards the hyper-real composited street scenes. I aimed for a cinematic, colourful style with some surreal images and some hyper-real whilst the whole series would be very much manipulated. There were five types of images that I planned for each location. Stereotypes, contradictions, decisive moment, empty spaces, and a surreal simulated look. Each location was selected from a list I had researched from places around London that had certain types of behaviours or people associated with it. I also planned to make a 360-photo sphere of at least one location where the viewer could move around the scene making it more interactive.

I let go of a few ideas along the way including the ‘decisive moment’ as the blurred background and frozen subject matter did not fit and the series became too complicated. This also meant discarding the simulated/surreal style. In the end, I stuck to the hyper-real effect focusing on contradictions and stereotypes and empty spaces. My images, unintentionally started looking very commercial with famous brands being noticeable. This was inevitable when photographing on the streets of London but this made me re-think my aims as I slowly began thinking about commercial photography as a future career. Eventually, the project was renamed to ‘Street Simulacrum’ focusing on authenticity, perception and subtly promoting certain brands within each image. I had to tie together aspects of human behaviours, the street environment, and brands without confusing the message. The brushed aluminium effect I planned, was an overkill as the images became too shiny. I ended up with 6 metallic prints in the end that give the polished shiny look I was after including strong detail and colour saturation.

 On reflection, there were too many ideas and I needed to narrow down sooner. Perceptions of reality was not a dominant message as there was greater emphasis on the brands. Some images have a clearer message with the Santander image being the strongest. The London landmarks add another layer of confusion as people have pre-conceived ideas about places that are well known i.e. tourism. The title of the project worked well in the end as “Simulacrum” stands for the representation of things rather than reality itself which describes my original intent well. The ‘Burger King’ image is a striking image but like several of the images, you question whether it was the best way to represent that brand. Overall, the images are colourful and striking and as a series they flow well. The 16:9 ratio suited the cinematic style and ideas of perceiving the truth.

 The main challenges encountered were the weather conditions, changing light and shadows, finding the best vantage point and appropriate place to set up a tripod. In some locations, I was told I couldn’t shoot. Also, much research had to be carried out to find the perfect locations that would give the best light, footfall, and content to composite the material needed for each image. Shooting on the street is unpredictable and many shoots did not end up how I wanted. With so many ideas within my project I had to be very conscious about what I was trying to photograph. The 360 panorama shots worked well but with some errors in the final stitching. The advertising aspect came later and is an aspect of the project that could have benefited more from extra research and attention to tone of voice, company advertising history, use of semiotics and surrealism. The fact I didn’t want to let go of Funch’s compositing technique meant I was restricted on what I could do. I would have liked to experiment more to produce something a bit more unusual and contemporary.

 Staging of scenes (tableaux) is still a well-used theme or secondary aspect of many artists work as is the exploration of authenticity and perception. The use of sun flare, aspects of modern day society and hyper-real images were used and worked well.

 My work flow is very methodical and I explored many ideas and carried out extensive research before settling on an idea. I’ve always loved to experiment and build on ideas. The process of compositing this series of images was very rigid with a specific process. The act of shooting was mundane. The post-production work was where all the magic happened.

 As the project came to its conclusion, I found that I became more focused on the future and tied many aspects from other modules together i.e. business plan, website, mailings etc. I learnt many new techniques this year including the 360 panoramas, new compositing and post production techniques and competed my first set of highly manipulated hyper-real images. My research became more intensive with use of more credible sources of information and better use of the Harvard referencing system. I’ve experimented more with different paper finishes this year and entered many competitions.

 My strengths would be my post production knowledge and attention to detail. I have many years life experience with knowledge of psychology and philosophy. My background in fine art and film has really influenced my direction and style. I am a perfectionist who takes onboard all feedback and always strives to do better. I produce intriguing bold images with careful composition and vivid colours. My time management and research methodology is also a great strength.

 If my specialisation was clear from the start of the year I might have benefited more and narrowed down my research and ideas sooner. Shooting early on with more experimentation and constant feedback would have helped. In retrospect, I could have collaborated with models or animation students. Ideas of authenticity and perception could have been executed better from carrying out more intensive research. Use of advertising opened a whole new area to explore. Again, more knowledge into companies that I was promoting, how they had advertised before and what the current trends were would have benefited me. Going more surreal with more freedom to ‘make’ my images could have given better results. Indeed, staying longer in some locations would have given me more material to work with, shooting at night would have been interesting to do and above all, simplifying everything down was what was needed to be done foremost.

 In the future, I would like to carry on with more personal projects (from a list that I continue to add to). This will help me build my portfolio and explore more ideas. I’d like to do more in the way of advertising work and collaborate with copywriters to produce commissioned work. My goals in the next few months, are to act on my business plan goals including my marketing plan which will help me set up my own event photography business and get more experience in the advertising sector. I will submit photos into stock libraries and continue to enter more competitions and exhibitions. I’d love to get into CGI so will research software, courses, and opportunities to learn on the job. I will make use of Lynda.com to further my post production skills. I aim to re-brand myself as ‘Peter Sterling Imaging’ which will involve building a new website through WordPress. I will continue my video work to promote my projects and above all, keep shooting, experimenting, and being inspired by others work by visiting exhibitions.