#also meredith jacob marley just. does this to me I guess

[kmesons]

feverishly doodled jacob marley in my phone's notes app immediately following my first watch of vhscc. I'm going to be looping this for several hours

[thewomanwhowatchedchristmas]

The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)

I've been nervous to review this one because it's my best friend's favorite movie, but I've never seen it before. I was worried it wouldn't be as good of I hadn't seen it until adulthood. But, to be fair, I was never into the Muppets, so I don't think I would have liked it.

There are several things I was not prepared for. I was not prepared for Michael Caine to play Ebeneezer Scrooge. Like I knew that actual people played on screen with the Muppets, but I wasn't ready for it here. I was also not prepared for it to be a musical with original songs. Mostly, I was not prepared to be impressed by this movie.

So I hope everyone knows the story of A Christmas Carol because I feel like it's common knowledge. Instead, we're gonna talk about the other elements of the film. As I said, Sir Michael Caine plays Ebeneezer Scrooge. Maybe it's because I already loved Michael Caine, but I feel like he wasn't mean enough for Scrooge. Like yes it's a kids' movie, but so is every version. It's a kids' story. Our other human cast members are Fred (Steven Mackintosh), Clara (Robin Weaver), and Belle (Meredith Brawn). I loved Fred for getting sassy with Scrooge, but Clara looked like a 12 year old.

Now for the Muppets. The Great Gonzo narrates as Charles Dickens with Rizzo the Rat as our comedic relief. I appreciated what they brought to the movie it's accurate to the book AND they're self-aware enough that it cracks the fourth wall, but doesn't totally beak it. Kermit the Frog plays Bob Cratchit because of course he does. Who else is that sad and sweet? Miss Piggy as Emily Cratchit was a bit much; Emily isn't quite that sassy, and definitely not conceited. But the little I do know about the Muppets, I know that Miss Piggy would have demanded that role. Their children Betina, Belinda, and Peter were all original to the film. Tiny Tim is played by Robin the Frog, a character I didn't know existed until I was doing my research. Regardless, the boys are frogs and the girls are pigs, and no one is a horrifying mix of the two. And you can tell me they're a different character but they all look like shrunken Kermits or Piggys. This might be why I never got into Muppets. Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker are the collectors for charity donations. Probably a good idea to give a small role to a character who famously doesn't talk. Jacob and Robert Marley are played by Statler and Waldorf. Having never seen this movie, I was very confused because there is no Robert Marley, but Statler and Waldorf fit the miserly roles, and it would be tough to separate them and maintain the essence of their character. The Ghost of Christmas Past is original to the movie. She's creepy, and I don't like her. But they kept the story the same for when she took Scrooge: to his school days where we see Sam the Eagle as Headmaster, to the Christmas party of his first boss Fozziewig played by Fozzie Bear where he meets Belle, to a few years after when Belle dumps him. Which like... Was that how relationships we're back then? You didn't talk about your concerns and try to work through it, you just left? Unless you were married of course. The Ghost of Christmas Present is also original to this movie, but I really liked him! I feel like he's the character that's the most difficult to portray, and they did an excellent job. I don't think I've seen another version that has even come close. The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come was also original to the film and also very accurately portrayed (which means creepy).

The story and the language was surprisingly accurate compared to the book (minus the songs). My only complaint is that at no point is it said that Tiny Tim died because they couldn't afford treatment for him. And I guess the only reason that bothers me is that children don't understand how money works, so giving the Cratchits money because Tiny Tim is sick doesn't make sense. Or maybe children today are more desensitized to the world of privatized healthcare than I was.

The songs. I should count how many reviews I say this in, but I'm not a fan of modern Christmas songs 99% of the time. Although certain references do make sense to me now. And I guess 1992 isn't modern. This movie came out 13 1/2 months before I was born so... However the songs are cheesy. And let's be real, Kermit is not a songbird.

The visual effects were done well, especially considering the year and the characters. I'm still not into the Muppets, and I still think all puppets are creepy. But I'm impressed with the cinematography here.

Overall, I give it 3.5 stars.