#also me: lets make him a heartbreaker and a total asshole

[yuujispinkhair]

sukuna who's over heels with y/n, but y/n is stupidly in love with yuuji who is falling in love with megumi?!

Omggg I love this!!!! Thank you for sending me this 💗

Modern!Sukuna x Reader (female)

Fluff. Hurt & Comfort. Friends to lovers. 2k words. Unrequited love/pining in the beginning. Sukuna and Reader get their happy end (Yuuji gets his happy end with Megumi). Mentions of cigarettes + alcohol. All characters are of age. Minors don't interact. Divider @/benkeibear

Sukuna can only shake his head at the irony. He is in love. He is fucking in love for the first time in his life, and of course, it has to be someone he cannot have! Out of everyone at this stupid college, it has to be the girl who likes his brother!

If it were any other guy, Sukuna wouldn't give a fuck and just flirt like hell with the girl he wants and give his best to steal her away from that other guy. But the problem is that Itadori Sukuna might be an asshole, but he isn't the type of asshole that would steal his brother's girl.

So Sukuna swallows down his heartbreak and forces himself to hold back, refusing to stand in the way of his baby brother's happiness. Sukuna might only be three minutes older, but he is still the big bro, still the one who sees it as his responsibility to look after his "little" brother. And Yuuji deserves it. He deserves a girl like you. He deserves your love. Sukuna will stay strong. He can do it.

But what Sukuna didn't take into account is how completely oblivious his brother is to your feelings.

You follow Yuuji around like a lost puppy, giving him hearteyes, practically swooning anytime he smiles his sunshine smile, hanging on his lips when he talks about his movie-directing classes and his new favorite TV show. But Yuuji doesn't seem to notice. And it makes Sukuna so mad! It drives him crazy! He almost spits his drink out when his brother gives you a high five and calls you "bro".

Sukuna feels sick to his stomach when he watches you wring your hands and shyly ask Yuuji if he maybe wants to go to the cinema with you to see the newest Human Earthworm movie. That super trashy horror series that Yuuji is always gushing about, which Sukuna is 99% sure you don't really like but only want to endure for the boy you have a big crush on.

But Sukuna's oblivious idiot of a brother just laughs and nods, happy that someone shares his taste, and totally misses the point,

"Yes, that's perfect! Let's also ask Megumi and Nobara to join us! Let's all go together! It will be so much fun!"

Sukuna thinks he can not only feel his own heart ache but also yours as he sees your face fall even while you force yourself to nod bravely and smile a sad smile at Yuuji.

It takes everything in Sukuna not to say something. But his restraint only lasts until he is alone with his brother. The moment the others have left, he shoves Yuuji into the wall, grabs his collar, and growls at him,

"You are so fucking dumb, brat! I would give anything to be in your shoes, but you don't even see that she wants you!"

And Yuuji blinks at him, all big eyes and completely confused,

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

Sukuna lets go of Yuuji, slumping against the wall next to him, sighing and explaining the situation to him. How Sukuna likes you, and how you like Yuuji, and how everything is such a mess, and how much he hates it, especially when his little brother is too blind to see what he could have!

"Now you know, brat. Go, get her. Just don't rub it in my face, ok? I'll stay away as much as possible."

Sukuna pushes himself off the wall, about to run away and hide in some dark corner or maybe find someone to fuck and distract him from all this shit. But to his utter surprise, Yuuji's hand darts out and grabs Sukuna's sleeve.

"Wait, Kuna! I don't even have those kinds of feelings for her! There is... um... well, there is actually someone else I like."

He stands there, scratching his neck, looking sheepishly at Sukuna and blushing a bit as Sukuna stares at him with question marks in his eyes.

"Who??"

"Um, he has black hair and likes dogs and... ah shit."

And Sukuna can't help it. He bursts out laughing, doubling over because this is just so fucking dumb and messy and getting more complicated every second, and he probably should have known!

"Damn, brat, that really sounds like you! Falling for your best friend!"

In the end, Sukuna plays matchmaker for Yuuji and Megumi. It's easy, considering the way Fushiguro has been looking at Yuuji since the first day he met him. And yeah, Sukuna is not only doing it because he loves his baby brother but also because of selfish reasons. Because it means you will have to let go of your crush on Yuuji. Not that Sukuna thinks you will turn to him, but at least he won't have to watch you date his brother and pretend he doesn't care!

It feels like someone is stabbing Sukuna's heart when he watches your face twist in pain at the next party when you see Yuuji walking into the room with Megumi's hand in his.

But it will be fine! After all, Sukuna is here to catch you and mend your broken heart again. As a friend, at least.

He quickly follows you when you leave the room and run towards the backyard. You sit down on the slightly damp grass, and Sukuna joins you, sitting silently next to you while tears run down your cheeks. Sukuna offers you his half-smoked cigarette, and when your eyes meet, he can't help but think that surely you must see the pain in his eyes, too.

He quickly takes a sip from the bottle he is holding to hide the emotions threatening to swallow him while silently cursing himself for following you out here. He misjudged how fucking hard it is to look at you when you are crying. If only Sukuna could just close the distance between you and claim you as his, just kiss all your pain and his pain away.

But of course, he knows it would be too soon. For once in his life, Sukuna doesn't just want to be a one-night stand or a rebound or a revenge fuck or whatever. For once in his life, he wants more. He wants everything.

And so Sukuna is patient. Just offers you his silent company, his cigarette, his bottle of vodka, and his leather jacket when it gets chilly, and you start to shiver. He offers you his friendship, his protection, and the kind of comfort he can give without fucking you. He drives you home, makes sure you have something to eat and get some sleep.

He bangs on your door three days later when you still haven't come back to campus, calling you a brat and an idiot because it's the only way he knows how to show his worry. But he hopes he's making it better by shoving a vanilla latte and a bag with muffins from your favorite coffee shop into your hands.

Your eyes look puffy from crying, and you seem confused about what he is doing here, but you take the food and coffee from him. And Sukuna smirks at you and refuses to leave when you tell him you look like hell and don't want him to see you like that.

"I don't care, princess. Eat those damn muffins and drink your latte before it gets cold. I didn't stand in line for half an hour for you to just ignore my treats. And by the way, you always look pretty to me."

He stays until you had breakfast and took a shower, coming back to the living area with a soft,

"Thank you, Sukuna. It was nice of you to bring me muffins and coffee."

Sukuna finally leaves, lifting one tattooed hand to casually wave at you as if his heart isn't about to burst because he wants to pull you against his chest and hold you and tell you he can make you happy again.

He skips some of his classes and instead goes to the gym, working out like a madman and beating up a punching bag until he is too exhausted to think about how sad you looked and how fucking much he wants to kiss it better.

He comes back the next day to pick you up and take you to the coffee shop with him, making sure you leave the house and join the living again! It cannot be that you are crying your eyes out in your room all day!

"Stop complaining and get your bratty ass off the couch! It will be good for you to get some fresh air and shit. I am warning you if you don't put on shoes in the next 30 seconds, I will make you walk to the coffee shop in socks!"

Oh yes, Sukuna is good at this. Acting grumpy and playing the asshole while taking care of you and making sure you are ok. And somehow, you are the only one, apart from his brother, who can see right through him because you roll your eyes and laugh softly and tell him that he is the nicest asshole you have ever met.

The two of you fall into a routine where Sukuna picks you up every morning and has breakfast with you before he walks you to your first class. You constantly grow closer, and Sukuna feels his mask slipping more often around you. His typical arrogant smirk softens into a genuine smile. His snide comments turn into compliments. He isn't sure if he is doing it by accident or intentionally. Maybe he is only reacting to the way you act around him.

Because your gaze doesn't follow his brother anymore. Your face doesn't fall when you see Yuuji with Megumi. Your smile doesn't falter when you spot pink hair and realize it's the bad boy twin with the tattoos and not the good boy twin with the sunshine smile. Sukuna even feels like your smile is growing brighter when you look at him.

Could it be?

And he notices more things. Notices how you always sit so close to him now when he is at your dorm and you play video games against each other. How you always laugh at his jokes, no matter how sarcastic they are. Or how you look at him sometimes when you think he doesn't realize it. How your eyes get that dreamy little sparkle when Sukuna is sleepy, and his voice gets low and a bit raspy. How you get goosebumps on your arms when Sukuna puts his hands on your hips to steer you through a crowded room.

A few weeks later, Sukuna finds himself back at the same spot where all those weeks ago, it all began. Sitting next to you in the grass in the small backyard of your friend's dorm, where you cried when Yuuji broke your heart.

But tonight, you aren't crying. Tonight, you are smiling and throwing your head back, laughing at some dry joke Sukuna makes, looking so carefree and happy. Your shoulder is brushing against Sukuna's biceps, and your hand lands on his thigh, giving it a playful smack and staying just a little too long. And Sukuna can't help but say in that low voice, you seem to like so much,

"You are so beautiful."

For a split second, he feels his chest tense up, scared that he fucked everything up. Scared that he got it wrong and you still want his brother. Or maybe some other guy. Scared that you only see Sukuna as a good friend. Or that you only see him the way the whole campus sees him: as that sexy, asshole guy who is only good for casual sex and nothing more.

But then you turn your head to look at him, and Sukuna sees that soft expression in your eyes, the one he used to see on your face when you looked at his brother. But now it is for him, for Sukuna. And he simply knows without you having to spell it out. He knows that things have truly changed.

So, Sukuna decides to do what he wanted to do for a long time.

"I am sorry that you cried the last time we were in this backyard. But I am not sorry for why it happened. My brother is an idiot for not wanting you like that. But I am glad he is an idiot because otherwise, I wouldn't be able to do this..."

And Sukuna puts a hand under your chin, cupping it with a gentleness he didn't know he possessed while looking deeply into your eyes, checking one last time if he really got it right. You look at him with wide eyes, but you smile and nod softly as your gaze travels down to his lips.

And Sukuna sighs and presses his lips gently against yours, kissing you like he never kissed someone before, slow and gentle, as if he is scared you will break or slip through his fingers. A kiss with his eyes closed and his chest filling with a warmth he didn't know until now. A kiss into which Sukuna pours all the secret longing he felt for you for months, all the feelings he tried to hold back for his brother's sake and then for the sake of not fucking things up.

But finally, he doesn't have to hold back anymore. Because you chose him. You chose Sukuna. You are sitting here with him, with your hand in his hair and your lips moving slowly against his, a happy sigh and a soft murmur of his name falling from your lips.

The two of you only stop kissing when Sukuna's head is already spinning from the lack of oxygen. He pulls away only enough to grin at you and stroke your cheek with his thumb. And you smile back at him and whisper,

"I am glad, too, that Yuuji turned me down. Because otherwise I wouldn't have found out that it's his brother who is my perfect match. I wouldn't have found out that you, Itadori Sukuna, are the one I like the most out of everyone."

AAAHHH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH 😭😭 Thank you so much for sending me this ask. I see Sukuna + unrequited love/pining and I lose my mind!! It's my weakness and makes me so so soft for him (even more than usual).

I hope you liked this little hurt/comfort story!! Comments and reblogs would be very sweet 💗

[elsecrytt]

okay NEW curse technique concept: love conquers all!

your technique straight up alters reality. it will heal you or others, kill or harm people in any specific way, you can travel quickly, produce objects/food/etc. out of nowhere, whatever you want.

however. you can only do it if you genuinely believe it will make your loved one happy. otherwise you are just a regular person.

if you're not in love with someone, you're an ordinary person.

thankfully (?) you're a bleeding heart romantic and you fall in love pretty often! you might be shallow at first but your desire to pursue a relationship and get to know your crush is 100% sincere!

for added comic effect, you do not know what curses are and are unaware of your cursed technique. you just know that you're super capable whenever you're doing it ~for love~

unfortunately, when you fell in love with satoru gojo, he pretty much immediately shot you down.

commitment issues, sorcerer problems, yada yada. he could tell that you were genuine with your feelings, too, and satoru does do hookups but he's not a total asshole.

satoru being LITERALLY the luckiest person ever - six eyes, limitless, ridiculously tall and beautiful, talented students and powerful allies - and he's handed an instant win ticket to life in the form of your undying love and devotion and he just tosses it out LMAOOO.

so you go through your heartbreak phase, grieve for a while, and of course eventually get back on the market.

and you find him! the kindest, most considerate, respectful man alive.

he's a bit of a workaholic, but he's unbelievably polite and sincere, and every bit of understanding you show him is repaid tenfold.

seriously. he was late for a date once because of work, texting ahead twenty minutes and apologizing profusely, showing up with flowers and a thousand "I'm so sorry, my superior at work was a bit unreasonable - he works hard, too, though. I'll plan better in advance!"

when you smile and hug him and accept his apologies easily, you can see him holding back tears, a giant load releases his shoulders.

the more you learn about his work, though, the more you realize it's his only flaw. it's not even his fault!

his superior is just this giant asshole. "he works very hard, he's excellent at his job" your fucking ASS, why should your man have to put in constant overtime to drive his ass around?

apparently he had to drive three hours to pick up some sweets. kikufuku, of all things, from this one specialty store in another prefecture, just for his stupid coworker -

it pisses you off!

so when ichiji arrives for your date one day, nervous, with his unreasonable coworker in tow - well, you're shocked to see that you recognize him.

satoru, of course, immediately gloats that he recognizes ichiji's precious girlfriend - she even asked him out, once, before!

internally, he supposes it's kind of nice that you found someone better suited for commitment. although ichiji really doesn't deserve someone as good-looking as you -

SLAP!

he stares, dumbfounded, his cheek red and stinging. something strange curling in his chest at your vicious glare.

"You're Ichiji's shitty coworker?" You growl, "I'm glad you turned me down. Don't ever bully my man again, or you're dead meat."

holy shit, satoru thinks to himself as you snarl at him, ichiji panicking, trying to hold you back.

dead meat. holy shit, he actually believes you.

-

obviously from there the plan would be enemies to lovers, with the requisite comedy and pining on gojo's part about having let you go the first time.

you have a very strict policy of never EVER pursuing someone who turns you down (you don't know this, but it's actually a condition of your cursed technique). but satoru will find out - that doesn't stop him from pursuing you.

unfortunately, you're also unbelievably prideful, and still very in love with ichiji (who himself is struggling with a sense of inferiority which will eventually tank your relationship).

so gojo gets his ass beat on multiple occasions,,, watching in awe as you do thinks even he can't, and doubly flabbergasted when you insist you're not doing anything particularly weird.

you punch through his infinity? "are you telling me you think you're a wizard with an invisible force field around yourself? seriously?" cursed spirits? "is this a cult?? ichiji is your coworker in a CULT?" his hollow purple doesn't leave a scratch "i mean, was it supposed to?"

god i'm just feeling the comedy these days. i need to make fun of these silly little guys in this silly little manga, i love them so much

[shima-draws]

OOUGHHH been thinking about Grovyle lately and how much I just *clenches fists* love him. Listen to me. Listen,

He is the character of all time. He’s introduced as a wanted criminal stealing something SO forbidden that even the worst Pokemon criminals won’t even touch. That immediately shoots his coolness factor through the ROOF. And the fact that nobody is able to catch him;; AND we see that he’s ridiculously clever and smart and can worm his way out of just about any situation with a bit of quick thinking. And he’s always surrounded in this air of mystery and intrigue and you’re set up to think well yeah he’s stealing Time Gears and stopping time everywhere OBVIOUSLY he has to be an asshole. Except during your first encounter with him he’s very calm and collected and shockingly polite, and even apologizes when he attacks you?? Basically just the opposite of what you’d expect from a criminal. And then to top it off you find out he’s from the FUTURE?? Which is SO sick. And he’s got some secret history with Dusknoir. And when he’s finally captured and being brought into Treasure Town all tied up he doesn’t even act out UNTIL Dusknoir mentions the planet’s paralysis. Which is the first hint you get that things are a leetle sus.

And when you get taken to the future and are about to be executed…he helps you? He has literally zero obligation to do so, esp since you’ve attacked him before. And there’s another subtle hint that maybe deep down he’s got a soft side, that he’s actually not a bad person. And it’s heartbreaking bc he finally knows someone else who is a common enemy of Dusknoir, and he clearly wants to team up with you, bc all this time he’d been by himself in the past and having people he can trust would make things so much easier (and it’s startling how easy he trusts others, too, especially considering everything he’s been through). But your partner isn’t having it and you can FEEL the disappointment he feels that he’s not able to convince you, that you aren’t going to work together, that he can’t have someone else to rely on besides himself. But that little spark, that glimmer of hope comes back when you catch up to him and you’re like yeah we’re going to decide for ourselves what we think about all this. And you find out from Celebi that Grovyle’s always been hasty, always hurrying ahead to try and achieve his goals, and it’s admirable but also regrettable bc he doesn’t ever have time for anything else.

And THEN you discover the truth…that he’s been your partner all along…and he speaks of you so fondly and has such faith in you that he’s totally fine leaving things to you and letting himself get captured because he trusts you SO much. And the despair right after when he finds out you’ve been traveling alongside him the entire time. His precious partner is also going to get captured and executed and the world is doomed to fall into disrepair. But then your partner ignites that spark of hope again and it’s enough, and you make it back to the past, and suddenly things are different but in a good way because Grovyle suddenly has someone to rely on again, even without a memory to go with it. But he can also tell that because of your amnesia he’s no longer important to you, not by choice of course, but you’ve found someone else, a partner suited for you that brings out the best in you. And that’s fucking heartbreaking because everything the two of you shared is gone now, and you’ve moved on, and even though you’re THERE you’re also so far away and so different from the person he once knew. But he knows he has to let you go, had to from the start anyway, because of the sacrifice you were prepared to make. That BOTH of you were prepared to make. And despite the fact that you have no memory he still. Trusts you. Completely. Enough to sacrifice himself to take Dusknoir back to the future. And believe that you’ll follow through with the vow you made and prevent the planet’s paralysis. And he KNOWS you will so he doesn’t know how much time he has left but it doesn’t matter because he’s been prepared to disappear, to die knowing that he’s saved the future, that he made his mark and was able to shine in his finest moments. He can leave this world knowing he did what he set out to do and he made a difference and things will be better for everyone he’s leaving behind. Shut up. Shut UP. I care about him so much I am GOING to explode. THE character ever. You don’t understand,

[gwenfr]

I think I figured another thing that was bothering me about the new episode.

It's the lack of presence from the other main queer characters and the straight ones there being the only one happy.

We had 3 big storyline in this episode for the main ensemble character.

Hen and Karen, the only other queer main characters were nowhere to be seen.

But of the 3 big storylines : 2 were for the straight characters and it was to show them being happy and then the last and only queer one was to show him/them unhappy.

Yes it really does let a bad taste in my mouth...

It's like this episode was taken from the hands of the precedent writers of the season, by a queerphobic asshole who thought "ok, the lesbians can't be seen, the gay loved man have to go, yeah yeah okay have the other gay man who appear total 4 min in a season make a big speech if you want, the bi man must be sad and heartbroken, and yes he need to understand he has to fuck around of course, then we have the straight couple, they're straight, they can be happy and have other babies, the straight man who fucked up his life with his son, yeah he has to be happy, and let him do a 5min dance sequence to show how happy he is, it's necessary !"

It was literally a thing that bothered me sm from the beginning of the Bucktommy love story, it was the lack of interaction with the other main queer couple.

How cool and refreshing for a (queer) storyline it would have been if Tommy and Buck decided to talk it through and go to their lesbian couple friends for council. Hen and Karen also had issue in the beginning of their relationship. And yes, they would never know what it means to be an older gay man or a young bi man, but Karen could talk with Tommy about the fear of heartbreak or really wanting a family and committing to that. Hen could have talk to Tommy about the personal growth she witnessed in Buck for the last 7 years and how Tommy doesn't need to be worried. We could have had such a lovely scene during a little queer dinner with our four main queer characters.

But no, we couldn't have too much queerness in an episode I suppose...and we should be happy with Josh's big speech about queer men at all....

The way the straights were written to overcome their big struggles in this episode and be happy at the end of it when the queer characters were either not shown or shown 2min or written to be sad and heartbroken or either sad and leaving....

Yep, again it was definitely a choice...

[dbnightingale24]

The Dog House Isn’t The Best, But It Can Still Be Our Home

Final installment to 'Pavlov's Dog'

~~

Part 3

~~

I told you guys I'd post it at some point 🥴 I'm honestly so sorry this took so long to post, but last year got really dark for me and everything just kind of took a backseat. Thank you so much for your patience, and thank you to all of you who checked up on me. It means more than I'll ever be able to express. Thank you @fuckingbye for being an amazing friend, and for also making this amazing moodboard. You are a saint and I love to the ends of the earth. Without further ado, here's the final chapter!

Word Count: 71,942 (yes, you read that correctly)

Warnings: SMUT (MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY), Public Sex, Semi Public Sex, Drinking, Smoking, Swearing, Daddy Kink, Angst, Heartbreak, Mild Violence, FLUFF, Lying, Betrayal...I think that's it?

Song(s) That Inspired This Chapter: Will You Take Me Back In The Morning If I Promise To Never Act This Way Again?

I do not give consent/permission for my works/stories to be posted elsewhere. I do not condone this type of behavior, this is for entertainment purposes only.

~~

“You can’t keep going on like this, babe,” Daisy sighs sympathetically as she takes a seat next to the bathtub.

“It doesn’t matter,” you shrug as you take a drag of your cigarette, “none of it fucking matters.”

“Babe, it’s been two weeks. You do the same thing every day. You get up, eat the smallest bit of food, you sit out on your back deck and smoke until you decide to start drinking, then you draw yourself a bath and drink and smoke in it until you decide it’s too cold, or I come and get you. You can’t keep doing this.”

“I don’t even have a reason to be mad at him, do I?” you scoff incredulously before taking a drag from your cigarette, “it’s not like he lied. He didn’t even know, so I have no reason to be this upset, do I?”

“He was a complete and total asshole,” she states firmly, “and you have every reason to be upset with his actions. Yeah, it was a shit show, but he definitely could’ve handled it better.”

“The shit he said right in front of that child, even if it isn’t his, were so fucking cruel! No child deserves to be spoken to like that, and he of all people should know that!”

“Babe-”

“After everything we talked about on that trip...it’s like it didn’t even matter to him. He didn’t even care.”

“I’m sure he was just shocked-”

“That’s not an excuse, Dais.”

“I never said it was, but c’mon: it’s Ransom. You really think he was thinking clearly? Linda and Marta were there and I’m more than sure he was afraid of losing you, then Marta drops a fucking bomb on him, and it sounds like she did it on purpose, if I’m honest. Just to fuck him over.”

“Daisy, I just-”

“BABY, PLEASE ANSWER THE DOOR AND TALK TO ME!” Ransom calls desperately as he bangs on your front door.

Like clockwork.

“Why can’t he understand that I need time? I don’t owe him shit,” you start to sniffle as your tears fall, and you grab the bottle of tequila that lives by the bathtub now, and take a long drink from it.

“I’ll get rid of him, just please...please get up and do something,” Daisy begs desperately.

“Ya know, you’re wrong,” you say as she reaches the doorway, finally looking at her, “I put on makeup today,” you smile weakly.

She lets out a humorless laugh before disappearing and you hear her footsteps quickly making their way downstairs.

Since everything that took place on his doorstep, you haven’t spoken to or seen him. You don’t know what to say or how to handle the situation. He’s been calling and texting non-stop since it all happened, and every two days he comes by to visit, and Daisy tells him to leave you alone every time.

But you can’t keep avoiding him.

No, you don’t know what the right thing to do is, but you know that avoiding him is the wrong thing, and you can’t keep letting Daisy handle these issues for you. You have to at least speak to him, but say what? Do what? It’s not like you have any real right to be mad at him. It’s not like he cheated on Marta with you, he didn’t cheat on you with her, he clearly didn’t know he had a child so he didn’t keep it from you, and he did defend you to Linda. However, that doesn’t change the things he said to that child.

Possibly his child.

“He’s not my son and this isn’t fucking funny!”

“We can take a test if you want, but he is your son!”

“Well, I don’t want him! You wait...however many years to tell me about him, and you sure as shit don’t need any money, so why now?!”

“He deserves to know who his Father is, Ransom! He’s a Drysdale and-”

“Watch it,” Ransom warns with a foreboding tone.”

God, how could he be so cruel to a child, after all of the talks you two have had? He’s always cruel though, isn’t he? To you, to Marta, his own son (the resemblance is too strong for that boy to not to be his child), and fuck it, even Jack. He can’t ever seem to control his temper and, if he can’t do that, what chance do you two have together?

Still, he owns your heart and you don’t know how to get it back at this point. You don’t know and you don’t wanna know.

“Ransom, you have to stop coming around!” you hear Daisy yell, and you sigh before taking another drink from the bottle.

“You can’t stop me from me seeing her, Daisy! She’s my girlfriend!” 

“Bullshit! You two never made it official-”

“Daisy, stay out of it! Let me see her!”

“No! She’s not ready to see you and you can’t force-”

“I’m not forcing anything-”

“What do you think this is?! Showing up because she won’t answer your calls or texts, and demanding to see her?! Leave her alone!”

“You can’t stop me-”

“Let him in!” you call, lighting a cigarette as you use your tip toes to turn the water back on, and heat up your water just a bit.

Who the hell knows how this is gonna go?

You hear the both of them speedily stomping up the steps, but Daisy get there first and says, “are you sure? You don’t have to-”

“I can’t keep letting you fight my battles,” you smile weakly at her as you turn the water off.

“Babe-”

“I have to deal with this at some point. I can do this,” you all but mumble not believing yourself as you take a drag of your cigarette.

“I’ll be in the room over,” she sighs softly before turning, “fuck you Drysdale!”

“Fuck you!”

You hear her slap him and shake your head. Nothing can ever be simple, can it?

“Sweet Thing, please-” he starts as soon as he makes his way into your bathroom.

“Ransom...don’t,” you quickly interrupt. “This isn’t just some small disagreement.”

“I didn’t even know I had a child!”

“I could’ve dealt with that, Ransom! It would’ve taken some time, but I honestly could’ve dealt with that! It’s the way you spoke about him in front of him!”

“I don’t want him!”

“You didn’t have to say it in front of him! Jesus, it’s not his fault that you’re a selfish bastard! He didn’t ask to be born, and Marta-”

“She did this out of spite! Not because she wants me to be apart the child’s-”

“Be that as it may, he didn’t do anything! Basically telling her that she has no right calling him a Drysdale, when he is in fact a Drysdale! Ransom, I know you’re rough around the edges, but for fucks sake! All the talks we’ve had about our own fucked up childhoods and you do this?! You just...I don't fucking get it with you, Ransom!”

“What is there to get?! We fucking talked about this, Y/N! I’m not-”

“That’s no excuse for this! You took it too far and I...Ransom, I can’t-”

“Don’t you fucking say it,” he warns as his eyes start welling up with tears. “Don’t you fucking say that to me!”

“Ransom...I love you, but I can’t be the only good thing in your life. The only person you like,” you sob, sitting up and ashing your cigarette in the ash tray resting on the little table near by.

“WHY NOT?!”

“It’s too much fucking pressure! It’s too much pressure, and I can’t keep watching you be terrible to people because you had a rough childhood! You having a rough go of it doesn’t mean you get to walk all over people for the rest of your life!”

“Listen, give it a few days and you’ll see-”

“No, Ransom. This is done. I can’t do this with you anymore. You have to grow up at some point, and I refuse to mother you.”

“Y/N...you’ll see...you don’t mean it. You always say you’re done and you come back-”

“I can’t anymore. All of this just hurts too much. You keep finding new ways to hurt me, even when you don’t mean to, and I just...you’re cruel, Ransom. You’re cruel, you’re a bully, and you will hurt anyone by doing anything. I know there’s good in you, because you’ve let me see it time and time again, but you refuse to let others in, even in the slightest and I just...please don’t call me anymore,” you sob pathetically. “Don’t call, don’t text, don’t come by...we’re done.”

“You don’t mean this-”

“Don’t make it harder than it has to be, please. Just let me go,” you beg softly as you wipe your eyes.

“You’ll see. In a week or so, you’ll see and I’ll be waiting. I’ll wait and everything will be as it should, again,” he smiles weakly, wiping his own eyes.

“Ransom-”

“I’ll call you in a few weeks, okay, Sweet Thing,” he promises, making his way over to the bathtub. “I love you and I’ll talk to you.”

He cups your face and kisses you passionately and you’re so tempted to pull him into the tub with you, but you know you’ve got to stop. You left one toxic relationship just to jump into a different type of toxic relationship.

“Ransom,” you breathe once you two break apart, “please-”

“I’ll talk to you in a few weeks,” he promises with a sniffle before standing up and walking out.

“Ransom-”

“I’ll see you in a few weeks,” he repeats, his voice cracking as he continues on his way out.

Daisy is back inside and by your side instantly, climbing into the tub and holding you close as you cry uncontrollably, as you try to come to terms with the choice you’ve just made. Yeah, he’s right in saying that you always come back, but that’s not the case this time.

You need to stay away from him for good.

The fact that he has it in his head that all of this will be sorted out in a few weeks, lets you know that this is only the calm before the storm. As both you and Daisy lean back into the tub, and she holds you close while you cry into her shoulder, there’s only one question going through your head:

How the hell are you supposed to quit the love of your life?

**

4 Years Later...

~~

You can read the rest of the story here

~~

taglist: @whiskeytangofoxtrot555, @companionjones, @autumnrose40, @fuckingbye, @pono-pura-vida, @nomadstucky, @mazda098, @chemtrails-club, @bree-lyrie, @mjey12, @charlottiedawson, @fenixstar , @thickania

[pvssychicken]

The Things I said

Pairings: Nate doe x SLS

Summary: Im not gonna lie, i have no idea what to write for the summary, it was just an rp i did in c.ai

Warnings: swearing, making out, pet names, getting caught (kinda?)

a/n: This is just a scenario i did with charachter ai, so some parts may not make sense. Some parts were copied and pasted, but some parts were changes a bit so they make sense.

Dividers by @issysh3ll

"Y/N! I'm Inviting Nate over!" you hear matt yell.

You roll your eyes "Why do you have to invite him over here? Why cant you just go over to his place?"

He looks at you, knowing you're gonna give him a hard time.

“because I think Nate’s lonely, he just went through a breakup. The guy needs a buddy.”

"Damn, im not shocked, who would wanna date his ugly ass" You say, knowing damn well youve had a crush on him since you met him.

Matt laughs “oh please, girls literally salivate over him, he’s just a heartbreaker.”

"Ha! I bet you he had to pay girls money to date him."

"Oh please, I've seen firsthand how girls act around him. You're just jealous a guy like him doesnt look in your direction."

Your jaw drops, shocked at what Matt just said. "Erm actually, i have a boyfriend thank you very much."

Matt crosses his arms, raising his eyebrows "Oh? Is that so?"

You nod and the doobell rings "Oh look! There he is now!"

Matt laughs, going to the door. Nate is standing at the door. He smiles when he sees Matt, giving him a quick hug. Matt raises his eyebrows and turns back to you "Last time i checked, nate wasnt your boyfriend, so you can stop lying"

Nate overhears them speaking and walks over to them “what’s y/n lying about now?”

Matt chuckles “she was bragging about having a boyfriend like ten seconds ago”

"UGH FINE I DONT HAVE A BOYFRIEND" you pout, crossing your arms.

Matt laughs, having fun tormenting you “well, that didn’t take very long to confess.

Nate smiles, amused. Your lack of a boyfriend was a well-known fact that everyone teased you about.

Everyone knew that yiou had never had a boyfriend, even though youve liked several guys, and been in several talking stages, some instnces even led to the guy leading you on, but eventually breaking your heart. What people didnt know though, is that this made you very self concious, your self esteem was very low and you felt like you were unloveable.

Nate always knew that you struggled with low self esteem, he also knew about the guys that led you on and he hated that for you. You may be feisty and mean but you didn’t deserve how some of those guys had treated you. And he would be lying if he said he never caught himself finding you attractive.

You quickly went back to your sassy attitude when you caught Nate staring. "What the fuck are you looking at?"

Nate snaps out of the small trance he was in and quickly looks away, trying to hide his blush. “I’m not staring at anything.”.

Matt stands there observing the interaction between you two. He knew you both for long enough to see that there was a tension between you. A tension different than usual. It was like you kept glancing at each other when you thought the other wasn’t looking, you both seemed to get along yet have the urge to bicker. There was something there but neither of you realized it because youre too stubborn.

“oh come on, you totally were”

Nate looks back at you, not wanting to admit that you caught him staring, so he does the next best thing and tries to deny it “No I wasn’t, I think you’re just desperate to be looked at by someone."

This was the last straw for you, you felt tears well up in your eyes, but instead of letting them fall, you chose to let anger take over "SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE" You run up to your room and slam the door

Nate’s eyes widen at Payton’s reaction. He knew he had hit a soft spot and immediately regretted what he had said. He looks back behind him at Matt who stares in shock at your abrupt exit.

“Well now look at what you did dumbass”

“I didn’t mean to..”

Matt rolls his eyes at Nate

“Oh shut up yes you did. You enjoy getting on her nerves. You just got a way more emotional reaction than usual”

Nate sighs, feeling bad for what he said. He rubs the back of his neck, frustrated with himself.

"Yeah well, I didn’t mean anything by it.. she shouldn’t be so sensitive about it"

Matt, glares at him "Well? Areent you gonna go tallk to her?"

Nate sighs, he knows he should go talk to you. He runs a hand through his hair. "I don’t know.. isn’t she gonna just yell at me if I go up there?

Matt rolls his eyes again, knowing damn well that Nate was just looking for excuses to not talk to you "You never know unless you try. Just go up there and talk to her"

Nate groans, but reluctantly decides to go talk to you. "Alright, I���m going. But I’m blaming you if it goes terribly”

Nate starts walking up the stairs, and pauses a moment to build the courage to knock on your door. Then finally he musters up the courage to knock, hesitantly calling your name.

“Hey, y/n?”

"Go away. Dont waste your time on me, Im irrelevant" you sob. This makes nate immideately open the door

Nate opens the door and sees you sitting on the bed, tears falling down your face. He immediately regrets what he had said. Sure, you guys bickered, but he never wanted to see you cry. Seeing you like that broke his heart. Nate quickly walks up to your bed and sits down next to you.

“Hey, don’t say that..”

You refuse to look at him, feeling embarrassed that he was seeing you cry.

"Im serious.. You dont need to waste your time on me, I’m just a hopeless loser-"

"Baby, dont say stuff like that, you are the complete opposite" Nate says

You wipes your tears and looks up at him.Youre taken by surprise by how tender and caring he sounds. It’s so different from your usual fights.

“But I am.. no guy has ever looked at me twice, and every guy I’ve been interested in has either lead me on or dumped me. Its obvious that there’s something wrong with me, that no guy can find me good enough..”

Nathan cups your face with his hand and wipes your tears away

Your face turns red. Youre embarrassed that he’s seeing you so vulnerable like this

“Hey, you don’t have to pretend to care, I know you were only trying to insult me earlier.”

Instead of responding, nate pulled your face closer and kissed you.

Your eyes widen with shock, but you quickly melt into the kiss, closing your eyes and placing a hand on his chest for support. You start to kiss him more passionately, enjoying the feeling of your lips against his.

Nate pushes you down onto the bed as he kisses you. Your bodies getting closer. Nates hands rub up and down your side, as he gently starts to kiss your neck, finding your sweet spot almost immedately.

Matt walks into your room, wondering whats taking so long, but he is disgusted by what he finds. "WHAT THE HELL MAN. I TOLD YOU TO APOLOGIZE TO HER, NOT FUCK HER!!"\

Nate quickly sits up, embarrassed that Matt walked in on you. You, who’s hair was messy and face flushed, were blushing intensely

”M-MATT ITS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE”

Matt glares at you both, arms crossed

”Then what in the hell are you two doing then?”

You and Nate look at each other, not knowing how to explain to Matt what he walked in on. Nate rubs the back of his neck, feeling awkward, and your face was red as ever.

“We- um-“ He sighs, knowing that he had no excuse for what he did, and he didn’t want to lie “We were just making out..”

Matt looks at you, not buying your excuse for a second “Just making out, sure. Y/n I thought you said you didn’t like him, and Nate, I thought you said she was a pain in the ass?”

"OMG MATT JUST GET THE FUCK OUT!" You shout

Nate nods quickly, also wanting him gone

“Yeah, just get out dude..”

Matt rolls his eyes at you both

“You both are so lucky that you’re cute”

He closes the door, leaving You and Nathan alone in your room again.

a/n: I gave you guys some fluff before i break yall again. This story is going to just be background info for the next one. Im not exaclty going to call this part one, because its bascially a prequel.

Taglist: @flouvela @immattsslut

DM ME TO BE ADDED TO THE TAGLIST

[christinesficrecs]

Any recs where Talia or the hales absolutely hate stiles or disprove of their relationship? I’ve already read the searching ceremonies.

hedwig221b (don't feel awkward! 🩷) also had a fic that matches this ask. So, go read that as well if you're a fan of the angst.

The Happiest of All by Hedwig221b | 32.5K | Explicit

“It’s every wolf’s dream. To find a perfect mate, to procreate. It’s a necessity, it’s healthy. It’s in our blood; akin to the moon in the sky, a wolf belongs to their mate. And humans don’t have the capacity to become a mate.”“But I love him,” Stiles whispered, begged.Talia stayed silent for a couple of minutes.“That’s why you should understand it’s not healthy for him to be with you,” her words were simple and clear, like a piece of glass, but sharp all the same. “He will not find true happiness with you. You’re wasting his time. Preventing him from having a future he deserves.”

Also, compromised-emotionally suggested this one.

Down By Contact by standinginanicedress | 117.4K | Explicit

Lydia looks over her shoulder to look at Derek Hale again, then back to him. “He’s an asshole, you know.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Stiles is confused, furrowing his brow. “I’ve only spent the last ten years of my life fighting with him.”

“Yeah, but, I mean, he’s an asshole,” she draws the word out nice and long, as if it takes on a different meaning depending on exactly how she says it. “No one who has ever dated or hooked up with that guy has ever had anything nice to say about him after the fact.”

“What do I care about that?”

She looks at him. It’s that all-knowing, all-seeing gaze, like the eye of Mordor. Stiles feels tiny under its wrath, so he looks away and stares down at his beer can, traces the design with his thumb. “I know you, Stiles Stilinski.”

“Not really. We only dated for, like, five months.”

With a snort, totally uncharacteristic of her and something she would never do sober, she rolls her eyes. “Gee, I wonder why.”

Hmmm. Not really, but here are a few.

Divided We Stand by  KouriArashi | 156.7K

Derek is being pressured by his family to pick a mate, and somehow stumbles into a choice that they didn’t expect and aren’t sure they approve of….

A Pair of Shoes by ReedMeme | 5.7K | Explicit

He was the human boyfriend. A lot of them don't really approve. Of course his boyfriend had to have a huge family. Which makes sense with the whole Werewolf thing, he supposes. But once in a while, Stiles still wishes he knew that before falling abso-fucking-lutely head over heels for Derek Hale.

Hello, Heartbreaker by  astoryaboutwar | 18.4K

Stiles and Derek have been fuckbuddies for a while when Derek loses his memories of the past three years - and them - in an accident.

Talk Me Down by SylvieW | 26.3K | Mature

After the Hale family narrowly escapes the fire, Derek moves to New York to escape their lingering resentment. There, he meets Stiles, and feels an instant connection to him, but their relationship, and Derek’s self worth is tested by the hurdles Derek’s pack throws at them

I Would Fake Forever With You by Halevetica | 53.9K

Derek Hale is the black sheep of the family, always has been. That’s why he moved to Seattle. Now he’s got a job he loves, a nice apartment with an incredibly hot and endearing neighbor, Stiles Stilinski. One night when Derek’s overly large and demanding family shows up early for their yearly visit, they run into Stiles, who is accidentally introduced as Derek’s boyfriend.

Taught by Experts by unpossible | 29K

“Let me get this straight,” Stiles says. “You’re going to be publicly dating someone else.”

[fgmetanoia]

Just finished watching Heartbreak High 2, here's my thoughts that no one asked for.

Warning, spoilers ahead

In no specific order:

I deeply appreciated the lack of drama for Harper this season. I was worried, ngl. Also, her enthusiasm for her own house was so cute and relatable. Living in chaotic households (of whatever kind, like going from living with her schizophrenic(?) father to the packed house of her bestfriend... 100% better, but still chaotic) and longing for your little corner of peace... Yup.

Malakai Mitchell the BI ICON that you are

Too bad that his experiences with men always end up badly though

Cash and Darren, my sweet little babies. They better get back together and find a way to make their asexuality and hypersexuality work or I might KILL SOMEBODY

Now, Spider. I've been wanting a redemption arc for him since that scene with Amerie at the concert in S1. Honestly I thought he and Amerie would end up confronting but the storyline with Missy was equally good. Completely unexpected but good.

I also liked that they give us a background story of why he is such an asshole. Like somebody else said (can't remember who it was sorry, if I remember I'll credit), would've been better if it was something more realistic like bad role models, peer pressure and so on, instead of an unrealistic feminist mom.

That said though, I deeply related to the put-downs and constant criticism from a parent as a reason for his assholishness. It makes you feel like you won't ever be enough, so you might as well be as bad as you can. He is still an asshole tho, I'm not excusing him.

Also liked that they put Missy in an equal position of not being able to overcome her own prejudices

And finally doing it TOGETHER! I'm a sucker for these kind of tropes

I clocked Rowan immediately and picked up on the psycho vibes. Then changed my mind because it seemed like he couldn't possibly have a reason to hate Amerie. And it seemed almost too obvious to me... But when they ruled out Zoe, yeah. It could only be him.

I really hoped that they didn't give Amerie another triangle this season, but the fact that Rowan turned out to be a total psycho made up for the lack of originality

But but... The letter 😭 next season better start with a text to Malakai from Amerie.

Finally, IS IT ENOUGH OF TRAUMATIC EVENTS FOR AMERIE AND HARPER?? Let my girls alone, thank you!

[lyricfulloflight]

That’s the one thing I don’t understand - like it’s totally okay to dislike a ship and the reasons can be varied or as simple as you’d like. No one really needs a reason to dislike something I get that and that’s why the appropriate tags exist.

But like I’ve seen some of the things being thrown around both around BT and BE and I’m like okay guys shipping one thing over another doesnt make you better and being actively mean about it isn’t gonna change anything.

Why can’t we just enjoy what each fandom got? Buddie had some nice (if heartbreaking) scenes and BT had a cute date. I am new to 911 but like I’m surprised by how mean and almost like condescending some people have gotten and how quick they’re to call out one fandoms behavior without being like friend we are also doing that.

And I was in the kc fandom lol things got wild there.

Oooof sorry for the rant. Things just seem really intense since last night and I might have to do some unfollowing.

Assuming were talking the Klaroline kc fandom, I was in that one too :)

And maybe my memory isn't the best, but I don't remember things getting this vicious all the time either.

I do think fandom has changed in the sense that morality has been attached to shipping in such a weird way. Instead of shipping just being a personal preference, its become 'right' or 'wrong', or 'homophobic' or 'racist' or 'infantile' or 'predatory' to ship or not ship certain couples. And I just don't understand that.

I ship Buddie.

I'm pretty neutral on BuckTommy.

Why do I prefer one over the other? I almost always prefer ships with deep emotional bonds, who see something in each other no one else sees. I have never been a rarepair person, or a multishipper because my personal preference is for this deep emotional bond between characters.

That doesn't make my preference better or worse than anybody else's. Its just a personal preference. The same as I prefer the colour blue.

Other people might prefer couples with intense sexual chemistry, or who tease each other a lot, or who argue and have lots of passion, etc. Some people have a favourite character and ship them with everyone.

All of these are valid preferences.

Did I find the BuckTommy date in last night's episode a bit awkward? Yes. Was it because I'm a judgmental homophobic asshole? No. Daddy kink jokes wasn't my favourite thing, but I was fine with it. Two people in an adult relationship can flirt and and be kinky and that's totally fine by me. I have read and enjoyed way more explicit things in fanfic.

Personally (again just my opinion not a fact), I just found that the tone of the date and the joke fell flat as part of the episode overall. It was trying to break some of the tension and it didn't work for me.

Also, I tend to put more value on emotional connection in establishing relationships, so for me personally I would have preferred the conversation to stay in the more vulnerable place it started - Tommy offering Buck support due to Bobby's injury. If they had boned over having having difficult dads, or if Tommy had reached out and held Buck's hand to offer comfort, that would have been more meaningful to me, as opposed to the Daddy kink joke.

Again, nothing wrong with a Daddy kink. I too think Tommy calling Buck 'pretty boy' or 'good boy' in bed is hot.

Just kinky sex doesn't make for a meaningful relationship for me and I love Buck and I want him to have a deep meaningful relationship.

Since I haven't seen that with Tommy yet, I'm neutral on the ship.

I don't know why fandom has decided that who you ship or don't ship is some reflection of your moral values or lack thereof, but as someone who's fandom old, I find it weird and distasteful.

What people enjoy in fiction is not a reflection of who they are as a person at all times!

I don't generally block on unfollow people in fandom because I am very good at just letting things go and not spending too much time on things that upset me, but I have unfollowed people in the 911 fandom because of this overt judgement and moralization and (let's be honest) shit stirring, that some people engage in.

Fandom is supposed to be fun.

Let's make fandom fun again.

[theodoraflowerday]

young royals s3e6 episode reaction (the last one 😭)

I'm gonna miss this I'm so emo

ok let's go

simon's shaky eyelid I'm gonna rip my foot off

"it feels like you two are never truly over" SPEAK ON IT FELICE

wille's voice breaking I'm gonna start fucking sobbing

"I have to take responsibility for my own problems, I can't drag him down with me" bro I'm gonna kill myself

fuck I can't believe that's the last title

I'm gonna start sobbing ohohoho

he's gonna skip??? when has simon ever skipped in the whole series?

oh sara baby no

MICKE????? YOU RAT

oh, just the car

sure give them the car. that makes up for all the years of abuse. totally.

this conversation is so important help me

"see? she'll be fine" god I hope she will be fine

oh my they look all so nice in the sunlight. wille w the sunglasses. love the look

OH HE'S ASKING ABOUT SIMON STOP IT

haha yea called it

but why tell them like that? like why not call for a full student meeting and tell everyone? so unprofessional

if vincent doesn't Shut the FUCK Up oh my god

if he talked to me like that I'd be throwing fists on fucking god

also stella and fredrika need to calm the fuck down. go to new york then assholes

AUGUST?????

this man cannot be serious. sobbing like that over a school. be so for real. go hate crime someone if you're so upset. fuck

NILS VINCENT AND AUGUST HUGGING WTF

god that's so heartbreaking

fuck them rich kids but that's so heartbreaking

that's so weird. thinking abt simon moving away. it doesn't feel nice.

also rosh and ayub in full panic mode @ simon moving away... not great

NORWAY????

kristina's gonna croak isn't she

NOT THE BOOK OH MY GODJJGLDJFLDKG

chorrito pa las animas aaayyyyyyyyy

NOT NILS AND VINCENT GIVING AUGUST THEIR CONDOLENCES ABT HIM BEING THE SPARE LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO

oh my god that's goddamn hilarious

"you wanna be close to the royals, you don't wanna be one" "which is great for us actually" I can't stop fucking laughing jflsfjlsjflskf

SCREAMS OH GOD

oh god

"I feel empty. and scared" wonderful I love this honesty let's keep it going

oh tgjslfkslf HENRY IM GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU

sure, talk abt the booze and the drugs, that sure will make simon want to come to the party

NOT DOING SHOTS WITH THE HOUSEMASTER I'M GODKGKDLGJDLSKSFKDLFJ

THATS SO FUCKING FUNNYKGKGKFLGKDLGK

baby worm wille is my fav wille

I'VE LOST THE LOVE OF MY LIFE /WHAT/

/WHAT DO YOU MEAN WITH THAT WILHELM/

WHAT THE FUCKFJGKFKFLFKFLFKFLFK

OHMTOG

oh also he acknowledges he's gonna send krissy to an early grave. committing regicide is so based.

anyway LOVE OF MY LIFE?????????

does this track for an endgame or no?

oh god

FOR YOU

PARTY PRIIIIINCE LMAO

oh my god

MALIN????

JSKFJSKFKDGKDKGKKDKGKF

that was some king shit

"and I know erik did worse things in his day" understatement of the century

HE INVITED MALIN AND JOAKIM IM LOSING MY WHOLE DAMN MIND

JSKDKSKFKDLGIFLGKDLGKDLGKDLGKDLGK

king wilhelm fr

they're all so cute

seriously rosh and ayub are damn good friends

HE'S GOT THE FAKE GRASS IN HIS HAND

NOT REVOLUTION IM GON A LILLNYSLEFBFLGKDLFKD

ICANTKDL DELSIRBWIT TTJID

FUXIKC

they brought rosh and ayub I'm gonna cry

do you think rosh and stella are gonna kiss

oh

august looks like a mafia boss

WHAT ARE YOU APOLOGIZING FOR

oh. yeah. that was shitty. I also feel a lot of sympathy for that

oh fuck me I'm watching this in the train

"you know erik loved you more than anything else? the video with you two guys. it wouldn't have meant a thing"

I'm trying so hard not to sob but there's tears streaming down my face i

but I have stronger and more important feelings for you oh my fucking god I'm gonna start sobbing for real

im gonna cry

that was the best day of my life oh my god I'm making a scene in this train what the fuck

NOT THE HAIR

IM KILLINGMTSLEF

IS MY RADAR TOTALLY OFF AKFUSKFJDK

oh

they're totally drunk

NO WAY

NO WAY OH MY GOD THATS SO CUTKEJFLSJGSLFJDLFK

WHAT THE FUCKCJFLDKGKD

WHY WOULD WE LAUGH. WE'LL FIX THAT YOU'RE A STUD YOU CAN HAVE WHOEVER YOU WANT

BRO. VINCENT. NO.

AUGUST'S FACE IM GONNA KMS THEYRE SO CUTE STOP IT

oh don't go after her asshole you're drunk

HE KISSED HER WHY

OHHHHH

OH FUCK

YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH THE PERSON YOU BECOME WHEN YOU'RE WITH ME AND THATS NOT THE SAME THING OH FUCK

HE'S OFFERING TO RUN AWAY???

wille fully has no game huh. august did that immediately, wille is still all ooo im gonna be king my GOD ELOPE WITH SIMON

oh

FUCK SJFLANFJDLFKS

IT'LL PASS IS THIS A *JOKE*

big fan of the random two people with wille just BOLTING when they saw simon. like oooooohoho no this is NOT something we're doing tonight

FORGET WHAT

JUST FOR ONE NIGHT?

oh my god

WE'RE WORTH IT

I don't think I'm gonna take that. like I can't deal with that

no they're not doing that

they're not singing that song they're just not

no

I don't know why I thought it'd be a good idea to watch this in public transport

I thought it would be us

it was us and when it was us it was good

STELLA AND FREDRIKA LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO

FELICES FACE AND HER COVERING UP HER EARS IKFJLDJFLDKFLDKGDLKG

oh

ohh

WILLE'S SONFLSKF

DONT TAÑLTOME

I IN SJAMVLES

EVERYTHING IS FSKE

AUGUST HAS A PICTURE WITH HIM AND ERIK TOOB

oh wow that just broke me

:O

WHAT

THEYRE SINGING SIMON'S SOGN

akwñskd

im shakingb

that is such a nice tradition for the graduating class. I really like that.

KRISSY AND LUDWIG? ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE

oh yeah congrats august

why is kristina smiling is she happy abt her son going after the love of his life?

"even though it was sad" actually lmao

IT WASN'T IN VAIN DUMBASS

I NEVER GAVE UP ON US I GAVE UP ON THE ROYAL FAMILY

EHAJFJSF WILJELNW HAT TUECJCL

I HOPE YOU HAVE A NICE SUMMER WHAT RHEUFKCJSLFJDLFK

I'm gonna cry lmao

FELICE ISN'T GOING TO NEW YORK?

OH THEYRE GONNA RUN AWAY TOGETHER

YOUNG ROYALS' GREATEST LOVE STORY EVERYONE

oh my god

oh my GOD

oh man it took one (1) thing she didn't like for krissy to go back to a stuck up bitch

however, I just SCREAMED

there couldn't be any other way now could it

it couldn't have been any other way. truly.

I feel like I can't breathe but in a positive way

LET HIM GO OH MY GOD

omg August's face. bro knows he's fucked

YOU'RE NOT RUNNING AFTER A CAR WILHELM I SWEAR TO GOD

HE GOT OUT OF THE CAE

oh my gOF

OGMT

DID YOU CO IT FOR ME

NO ID DID IT FORNME

I WANT TK BE WITH YOU SIMON

ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE OVER ME - WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK

NSODKS

DIMLNSNFSCE

SIMON'S FSCE

VESCHEING

IM CRYING

JSL

THEYRE NOT DOING THIS TOMME

NO THEYRE OT

NOSROP

THE GIRLS

og

OG fod

the 4th wall break

no

fuck

fuck

fuck me I'm sobbing

god

what an honor it's been to love this show

thank you thank you thank you

[kinnenvy]

i am having thoughts about brian and his parents (jack joan debbie). it's messy and chaotic but i need to take it out of my brain and put it somewhere

Jack and Joan

There's like a pattern that he must go through with his birth parents, especially in season 1 it feels as if brian likes to present his relationship with his parents in one way, when it's actually very different.

He feels troubled by his own fatherhood, by Justin's relationship with his dad and the first thing he does is search for his own dad. he tells justin he never sees him, but then at the end of ep 1x09 michael talks about brian's visit and heartbreak over jack like it's something that happens routinely (and it does for sure, considering that it seems like jack is depending on him for money). "When will you ever learn?" NEVER! HE WILL NEVER LEARN!

until s2 ig. to me his relationship with joan is the most puzzling. he visits her, brings her flowers, but it doesn't feel like he ever tries to indulge her in the same way he did with jack. i wonder if that's because he didn't grow up being scared of her, so there's no instinct to get into her good graces...? im not qualified for this kind of analysis i dont think

they've both surely put him under intense distress, in different ways maybe, but it's distress nonetheless. living in that house must have been like being taken apart constantly, nowhere to hide, no comfort, only pain.

im not sure what the timeline is, but it's possible that the first time brian felt loved and wanted must have been THAT DAY in the showers after school. it could be also why he has that twisted perception of what happened. (or maybe it's just early 2000s writing who knows)

Debbie

she honestly makes me kinda mad. she saw a 14 y/o break in her liquor cabinet, get drunk and thought "this kid's kinda troublesome idk :/". i think making big speeches and saying pretty words she doesn't fully understand is very much part of her character (ben), but the way she does it with brian in relation to his parents is horrible to me.

(surely without knowing) she uses Brian's need for approval from his parents and convinces him to come out to his dad, what does that achieve? brian has to hear his father tell him he should die. brian has an important, vulnerable moment with her after his diagnosis and she shares it with joan without him asking or even wanting her to. what does that achieve? we remember what it achieves.

I think it's fair that she thinks about michael first and then everyone else, but i feel like she's softer on everyone else (david????) compared to brian. sure he kept their relationship vague enough to make him believe they could become a couple, but he isn't doing it to have a laugh, they're codependent. when brian is forced to break it off by debbie, she's happy to let brian take the fall on his own. she understands what he did, so instead of maybe idk helping him get at least Lindsay's support, she keeps her mouth shut, calls brian a good kid, gives him a pat on the back and is ready to send him his own way.

which brings me to the way she acts like she understands brian. it feels like the writers are telling us she understands him, but does she? idk. she picks up on things he does in secret one moment and then gets him totally wrong the next. she calls him a selfish asshole in front of everyone, but when it's just the two of them she suddenly has always known he's a good person. why is she never saying good things about him when everyone's around? why does it have to be just the two of them?

"Brian would hate it" "Brian would cringe himself to another planet" Sure but maybe Brian would also get home and maybe for once feel like the adult he imprinted on approves of him with no compromises :// idk

[seriiousgiirl]

READ NEW CHAPTER AND IT ATEEEEEE

I wanna mention a few of my personal highlights of this chapter

First, James grabbing Readers hair and sniffing it 😭😭😭 that's some mr Darcy level yearning. And the hand grip and the book falling out of it later. He really wanted to make Reader want him (subconsciously or not) but I can't lie it would get me too 😭. this man is a such a weirdo (affectionately)

Besides I have a sneaking suspicion that Laura may have left that book not so accidentally 👀 little miss is cooking smth

Also sex in the classroom?? as someone who's working to be a teacher that's crazy behaviour ngl man has no self-preservation skills not only when it comes to his health but to his social reputation too 💀 And the way that was a little tease of what James is into (revealed later in the chapter) is pretty cool too

Though cherry on top is actually James' dialogue with reader during the hotel scene. love me some dramatic irony. Reader character thinking that James feels guilt for metaphorically killing Mary (though neglect and his own metal issues perhaps) when the truth is much worse... Actual reader can spot how James maneuvers around the Mary topic just enough to be vulnerable but not enough to let the truth out. Truly asshole behavior. i need to guillotine that man (no matter how much i love him as a character)

At first I was a little thrown off by James being such a freak but you did a great job describing his feelings about his reasoning and his behaviour afterwards

And the way he demanded miss reader to buy pills out of her own pocket when it was he who came inside like million times😭

Eagerly awaiting new chapter (I NEED TO SEE HIM SUFFER)

Also, I haven't written any longer comments about the previous chapters (College three weeks in and I'm already dying) but I thought that it was really good how you portrayed Laura and James' relationship. Her calling James dad only sporadically while also trying to exhibit the same protective behaviour towards him that he does towards her. I'm actually so sorry for her. James is the only option she has and while he does his best to raise and provide for her he is still such a broken man. And the way he now treats and hides his lover? fuckbuddy? that is her favourite teacher... truly heartbreaking

The way you describe truma in James' case is really good. Yes he is a sad puppy man but he's also toxic and destructive and I love how you don't shy away from showing that.

- resident 😭 anon

Thank you! 😭😭 I’m so glad you liked that detail! James is definitely touch-starved, and even though he doesn’t fully realise what he’s doing, that need for connection just comes out. I agree, he’s such a weirdo, but we love him for it (affectionately, of course) 😅

And ooooh 👀 you might be onto something with Laura! Little miss definitely has her own plans, and you’ll see more of that in the next chapter! 😏

Right?! 😂 James has zero self-preservation instincts, honestly. I totally based that on one detail from the game—like how he just sticks his hand in weird holes and toilets without a second thought?? 💀 He's reckless and does what he wants without really caring about the consequences (if he even notices them?), but yeah, he definitely needs to work on that! 😅

Yeah, this part was hard for me too! Just like in the game, I didn’t want the full secret to come out too soon, but at the same time, I had to let it almost slip through. Writing around the truth without actually naming it can be tricky, and honestly, even I dread the moment of full revelation 😅

I’m so glad you liked how I described his reasoning and behavior afterward—that was the part I was most nervous about when posting, so thank you! 🙏

And OMG, right?? The nerve of him to make Reader buy the pills after he’s the one who couldn’t control himself! Total jerk behavior 😂

Thank you so much, and no worries! College sounds intense—hope it eases up for you soon! I’m really glad you liked the way I portrayed Laura and James’ relationship. I wanted to show how complicated it is for them both. It’s heartbreaking because he genuinely cares for her and want to be a good dad, but he’s struggling so much himself. It’s messy and painful for everyone involved. 😢

Thank you so much! I really wanted to capture that balance in James—I’m glad that came through, and I appreciate you pointing it out!

Good luck with college, and thanks again for the thoughtful comment! (I don't have any beta reader or else, so having feedback is always appreciated especially for this kind of comment) 😊💕

Best, Serious Girl 💕✨

[borathae]

Chapter 29

Or maybe it is the knowledge that just three staircases below you and behind far too many doors, Taehyung was still standing chained up in a cold, lonely room. :(

Why does it feel like no time had passed and yet at the same time as if far too much time had passed? yeah i mean time skip exists lol but fr mood

Or maybe it is this dreadful smell, which has been ever so present in your room. Like oakwood and myrrh. You hate this smell. It is not a particularly bad smell as for example rotten eggs or spoiled milk, instead you really hate the memories you are starting to connect with it. where did we smell oakwood before

Maybe on other days you would have called it beautiful, but not anymore. noo :(

Running comes hard for you and yet that is all you can do right now. Run and run and run and run away from the heartbreak. everything hurts 😭😭 *plays life is worth living

oh kook is leaving 😭😭😭 our boi grew up and is now moving out

omg the dark voices calling us again, is it kook? or someone else? also why is that smell there? is one of them so upset to the point its stinking for a human like her? is it tae? another prisoner?

whats going on ANSWER HER QUESTIONS ASSHOLE

t is so quiet in this room that one could hear a needle hit the floor. teachers would kill for this

HOBI I LOVE YOU

oh jin who was it? or do u not remember ? DID U FUCKING HURT TAE??? NO NO U DID NOT YOONGI U MOTHERFUKER *sighs *reads the list 3 times

PERIOD BOO WE ARE BITCHSLAPPING EVERYONE AT THIS POINT “His silence? That is all you had? Taehyung has been refusing to talk for weeks. His silence means nothing.” FUCKING REAL

HOBI I LOVE YOU PT2 (hold on i have lost count actually) at this point FUCK EVERYONE, hobi lets hold hands and walk into the sunset bye

WDYM no he didnt YOONGI? U COULD HAVE SAID THIS IDK A FEW DAYS AGO??? MONTHS AGO???

“She is still alive. She begged them to turn her and so Jimin did.” LE GASP (totally didnt see everyone talking about emma, yeah never saw that) ok i knew she may or may not exist, but i didnt know she become a gluten

20 PEOPLE DAMN fuck they could have planned it better are we going to see her anytime soon?

huh whats going on? see for yourself??

You are on a dirty cobblestone street. It smells of rotting flesh and feces. You gag, covering your nose with your hand to fight off the stench. Gloves? You look at them, then down your body. A corset? A long dress? Why are you wearing clothes of a different century? ohh we are seeing memories SHE FOR THE COBBLESTONES (sorry i had to lol)

“Be grateful. You don’t want this burden”, Yoongi says coldly, is it referring to burden as in unable to forget bad memories and bad memories/nightmares being too realistic and detailed?

We remember things that are important to us, the rest we forget piece by piece until we wander on empty streets and pass by unknown shadows.” hmm guess there is a price to for soo many memories, even our memories become less detailed over time, videos turning into picture like memories, forgetting their voice, favorite stuff etc

why are we in a hurry? its ur memories right? does it do something to him? yeah hobi's right, where is our body and what is it doing?? is the smell coming from the dead people?

wow yoongi is immersed in the memory, no wonder he wanted to hurry It frightens Emma, forcing her to make one wrong move noo

NOO JIN LEFT WHATS GOES ON MAN “I don’t know. You always have an answer” fr mood, this reminded me of mom, cuz i always say this to her lol

“No you won’t”, Yoongi stops you FUCK OFF THIS HAPPENED CUZ U ALLOWED IT AND DIDNT SAY THIS BEFORE AND NO U DONT ALLOW HER TO TALK TO TAEHYUNG wow he really has the audacity to use tae as a leverage

“You’ll be grateful once you understand” yeah ik i will, and then i will simp over you at that time, until then let me be angry at you pookie

sibi what have you done to me why am i sweating over a fiction 😭😭 why am i seeing brown filters and balls in my dreams? why are you giving me mood swings from simping too hard 😽 to crying over cuteness overload😻 and angst😿 to pissed off 😾to happy happy happy😸

oh no we are at his wing 😭😭😭 is jimin coming back?😭when will he come back? i only got to cry over for him for a few paragraphs and then bam im crying over his death

Although the moon is the only thing illuminating your path this paragraph is so good, idk what to say cuz im busy being nostalgic over that stargazing night oh yeah the portrait 😭 THE BEIGE JUMPER 😭😭😭 u are really coming for my tears huh OH NO THE SURPRISE dont look LOOK AT IT dont look LOOK AT IT noo he painted her 😭😭fuck no

the date, its soo sweet and cute UFKC u should have written it before his death it would be more cute then tear jerker (but that was the plan huh? u cute lil shit i love you, my emotions are a mess and i love this universe soo much, i wanna exist in it, actually u write so well,it is easily able to feel like u are her, without being a personality less character)

It is just how you had imagined it. Taehyung remembered. no no no 😭😭 free him please

her outburst is truly understandable but some stuff is untrue, but again she is not in a good state of mind she is beyond pissed

wow im really sniffling

oh kook is leaving 😭😭😭 our boi grew up and is now moving out

like he is actually moving closer to us and yet it's so sad that he moves out :(

omg the dark voices calling us again, is it kook? or someone else? also why is that smell there? is one of them so upset to the point its stinking for a human like her? is it tae? another prisoner?

interesting questions indeed 👀

oh jin who was it? or do u not remember ? DID U FUCKING HURT TAE??? NO NO U DID NOT YOONGI U MOTHERFUKER *sighs *reads the list 3 times

jfadjsj

WDYM no he didnt YOONGI? U COULD HAVE SAID THIS IDK A FEW DAYS AGO??? MONTHS AGO???

lmaoao for real

“She is still alive. She begged them to turn her and so Jimin did.” LE GASP (totally didnt see everyone talking about emma, yeah never saw that) ok i knew she may or may not exist, but i didnt know she become a gluten

I'm sorry but fjadsjf "a gluten" fadsjf Emma be like 🌾

20 PEOPLE DAMN fuck they could have planned it better are we going to see her anytime soon?

mhhm god question 👀

“Be grateful. You don’t want this burden”, Yoongi says coldly, is it referring to burden as in unable to forget bad memories and bad memories/nightmares being too realistic and detailed?

I think it's a mixture of both 😭

We remember things that are important to us, the rest we forget piece by piece until we wander on empty streets and pass by unknown shadows.” hmm guess there is a price to for soo many memories, even our memories become less detailed over time, videos turning into picture like memories, forgetting their voice, favorite stuff etc

yes gosh :( I'm sad that they do :( especially my memories with my grandpa I would love to keep :(

why are we in a hurry? its ur memories right? does it do something to him? yeah hobi's right, where is our body and what is it doing?? is the smell coming from the dead people?

the smell is just London in 1800-something where sanitary systems were basically the streets and the Thames BHAHAHAH 💀 the bodies are currently passed out back in the estate 👀

“No you won’t”, Yoongi stops you FUCK OFF THIS HAPPENED CUZ U ALLOWED IT AND DIDNT SAY THIS BEFORE AND NO U DONT ALLOW HER TO TALK TO TAEHYUNG wow he really has the audacity to use tae as a leverage

YES THIS BUT THEN you rememeber that maybe he doesn't want her to see him right now because he doesn't want her to see him in a tortured beat up state and he wants to save her from that trauma and you just start crying 😭

sibi what have you done to me why am i sweating over a fiction 😭😭 why am i seeing brown filters and balls in my dreams? why are you giving me mood swings from simping too hard 😽 to crying over cuteness overload😻 and angst😿 to pissed off 😾to happy happy happy😸

ah yes my job here is done

oh no we are at his wing 😭😭😭 is jimin coming back?😭when will he come back? i only got to cry over for him for a few paragraphs and then bam im crying over his death

hahhahah I don't think that Jimin is coming back my dear 😔

the date, its soo sweet and cute UFKC u should have written it before his death it would be more cute then tear jerker (but that was the plan huh? u cute lil shit i love you, my emotions are a mess and i love this universe soo much, i wanna exist in it, actually u write so well,it is easily able to feel like u are her, without being a personality less character)

gaah that is very lovely to hear!! thank you so much heheeh 💜💜

[buttercuparry]

Thoughts about S2 :

Victor is my fav but I'm afraid they will kill him

Randall the fucking Conspiracy theorist can just suck my imaginary dick *pardon my language*

Jade god damn it just think before you speeeeak and buy yourself some Empathy™

Sara I misjudged you

Elgin u are my second fav don't die

slowwwwer season I prefer the 1 , also because the supernatural layers became a looooot but without any sense. I preferred it when it was about clues and they were going somewhere, here it seemed a bit too much with the dream dimension. You cannot establish rules and change all rules on the go

If Fatima's baby is a monster I riot

Ellis scared me I thought he would be dead by now

If we were in my nightmares omg it would be frogs everywhere and moths for u T_T brrrrrr

Not a fan of new characters in general

I would ship Sara and Kenny if they had not screwed that

Tilly is scary as fuck I never trust a granny in horror movies I have seen the visit

god damn it, Christopher!

Jimbojim is the stupidest guy in town ding dong new flash

Tabitha - Jade - Victor = my golden trio

Ethan : annoying kid in horror movie - video game trope

They will not need that much food with the pace they all die

Jade god damn it give back that bike

I miss Hot!Priest

It doesn't change anything to put Tabi out of the equation, it just feels like a potiential end if they had no budget for S3

Victor, my boy. He is trapped in that town since he was a kid, but it is also his home. He lost his mom, his sister, but he is trying, he is trying as he did but failed all those years ago. And people think that he has something wrong with him but he is trapped in his memories- but he forgets and so he draws and it is all so heartbreaking.

Randall can go fuck himself.

Jade is an asshole, selfish fucking prick, but I love him and he screams at haunted dolls and wears kitty t-shirts and has hallucinations of soldiers and dead men :3

Sara is the tortured oracle but she did pull a knife on a kid, following the instructions of those voices and I know being trapped in a town that won't let you leave will make you desperate but yeah...i haven't been able to look past that.

(She is desperately trying to make up for it and she feels so guilty and so much pain...maybe next season I will warm up to her again)

Elgin may you have the strongest plot armour.

Yeah totally, season 1 was more structured. I think in trying to mount horrors upon horrors, they over did it. It could have been the night creatures + something about the dream dimension. Or night creatures + the mystery of the forest. But they went creatures + lighthouse+ radio + dreams + ballerina + dolls and + and + and + and +....

It didn't really settle. Hoping season 3 would be better.

Prayer circle around Fatima. Let her AMD Ellis and their baby be happy.

Amelie please don't talk about moths being everywhere omg. Omg. OMG! OMGGGGGGH!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I knew the moment they had another paramedic on the bus, that she would know Sara somehow. That she might even be her lover!

I don't know if I remember Tilly...

Jim is truly so stupid. Like ugh ugh...and the way he got led by Randall! UGH

YES! TABITHA-JADE-VICTOR!

Ethan is that special kid from every horror movie. He has got that something the forest wants!

Hot priest you were gone too soon and left behind your husband Boyd :(

I don't think they have put Tabitha out. In Tabs may now get to move around in the world and research why and where she got stuck with her family and how is it she got out. She isn't just going to sit around while her kids are still trapped!

[lakesbian]

it's mentioned around the start of behemoth fight that heartbreaker is coming after the undersiders, right? like, isn't there a scene where taylor is like Are you guys sure you're gonna be good and they're like yeah sure we're fine. because regent has gotten big enough that heartbreaker is no longer willing to just sit around and let him, he's starting to try to chase after him. boy who cannot escape from being a vasil/confronting his father, no hunting-down needed.

i digress. it's inaccurate to read aisha killing heartbreaker as narrativizing her life to cope/resolving alec's missing plot thread where he was going to finally put down his evil father and resolve his siblings being trapped, because we know why aisha did it, and the reasoning is not at all that. like it's an interesting sentiment but it's not really true of aisha as a person and it's not true of why alec would have killed his father (or wanted to). i'll stick the essay under a cut because it's long

most important thing for insight here is this shit aisha says in 29.5:

Imp spoke, “Always ticked Alec off, you know.  That you [Taylor] weren’t any good at holding grudges.  Too focused on the present, when it came to picking your enemies and your allies.  I wound up defending you [Taylor], even.” “For him, it’s [revenge is] his raisin de enter.” “His daddy fucked him up, so it sort of gave him an inner fire where he didn’t have much more than coal inside, y’know what I mean?  Forward momentum, itch to go out and get shit done?  Become a villain with the idea that maybe someday he’d get to pull one over on the old man, become a warlord.  So for him, it was the only reason he really got up in the morning, besides maybe the basic pleasures of life.  My parents fucked me over too, but it was different.  No grudge here, just a whole lot of sad.” “So it was a fight.  Closest to a fight as I ever got with that asshole.  Well, if Skitter’s being nice, so will I.  Good deed of the day, since I’m dicking around now, nothing to report…  You listening in, Shady?” “I’ll take that as a yes.  Regent told me about his stunt.  Controlling you.” “He took you home.  Gave you a hard time, messing with your mom.  The whole thing with you nearly committing suicide afterwards.” “Not a guy that’s in touch with his emotions.  Way I always saw it, they’re there, he’s just oblivious to it all.  Had to be.  So it’s only after he’s through with you that he realizes maybe he was a little hard on you, maybe he twisted the knife harder than he usually would, because it bugged him.  There you are with a family, and he can feel your emotions, and he totally knows you don’t even realize it in the slightest.  He’s blind to his own emotions and you’re blind to the emotions of others.”

what this boils down to with regards to alec is: he was extremely depressed and empty. he was running on fumes. aside from the basic pleasures of life--remember during the fugly bob's scene where taylor asks "what's next" on a broader level referring to their general upcoming life plans and alec listlessly responds with "dinner, then dessert" while staring blankly into space?--one of the only things that was able to keep this hollowed-out, broken-down kid alive and moving was the idea of becoming more powerful/famous/successful than his father.

there's no "..and then he does the right thing and frees the siblings he left behind when he escapes" thrown into his motivations or implied arc. yes, he was making a slow crawl uphill towards becoming a functioning, decent person. he was also a deeply angry, abused teenager who barely understood himself, at times barely understood that he was making that crawl in the first place, and had virtually nothing left to live for but the idea of getting one back at the man who ruined his life before it could even begin. (until, of course, he meets aisha and has a connection to live for, and then realizes that he would rather be dead than live without it.) alec was fundamentally undergoing an arc about getting better, but he was also fundamentally a severely traumatized survivor whose anger and motivations were simply centered around raw, unparsed pain and loathing for his abuser rather than around reaching the point where he could extend any particular concern for his siblings or act as if he needed to be the one to take responsibility for stopping his father.

and aisha knew that. being A Little Too Into Revenge was one of the only points of contention between them, perhaps the only point of contention. his desire for revenge against people who took what he could never have for granted, his distaste for taylor's lack of grudges, his relationship towards his father being premised solely on visceral hatred rather than on aisha's "whole lot of sad" with her parents--these were all things she was fairly diametrically philosophically opposed to.

but aisha still has this Thing she does, where she insists on loving and remembering people in the way that fits who they were. her trauma is fundamentally based around simultaneous desperation to be perceived and cared for for who she is and to escape harmful (mis)perception or malicious perception. so to show care for others, to memorialize the people she's lost, she focuses on perceiving them accurately. on doing what they what have wanted done. on understanding them and making sure they aren't forgotten in the same way she's been misunderstood and forgotten for her entire life.

aisha is the last person on earth who would want to revenge-torture (or if not one of the last, close to it--as she said, no grudge there, just a whole lot of sad), but alec wasn't. alec was her best friend, and a kid whose dad fucked him up, who would've wanted to see his dad fucked up in return. so she did it for him, since he couldn't anymore. he saw her--was one of the only people, maybe the only person, who really saw her in the closest way possible--and he liked what he saw enough to die for it. so she returned the favor of perception, of doing something massive for him. she knew what he would have wanted, and although it was violent and ugly and involved months of torture and cruelty, she did it. not to fulfill his arc, or to turn his life into a narrative, but to do what she understood he would have wanted. because she understood him.

and that's also why she made a memorial for him that represented him. a comedy/tragedy mask where one half was laughing and the other just looked bored/empty--because with him, the tragedy was that he had been forced to render his own pain and sadness inaccessible to himself and turn it into pure numbness in order to survive. the mask was placed at a center of a graffiti'd kingdom, and the entire thing was laid down in such a way that it disrupted the natural flow of the city and sort of forced attention to it. the mask representing him is given center place in a kingdom to display where he wanted to be, to posthumously give him this fantasy of importance and glamour and decadence that he had been trying to scrape together back as a lonely, neglected kid who wanted to feel like he had something special and powerful and enviable. the graffiti commemorates and surrounds him with the type of art we know he liked, and the disruptive location of the memorial is both a tribute to the fact that he thought it was funny to be Fucking Annoying and to the fact that he paradoxically wanted that attention and care as much as he didn't want people to notice how badly (as he would put it) messed up he was.

and that's also why in her epilogue she's representing him as dolls and forcing assholes to care for those dolls--it is, as she tells the heartbroken, something silly and insufferable that he would've liked the schadenfreude from. it's also fairly clearly demonstrating that in life he had been turned into a doll or puppet for someone else's whims. it's also her making people care for his image, which is fitting, because he was, unknown to him, desperate to be cared for. (his power was the bitterly ironic situation of a boy who really extremely wanted to be protected and cared for but had been taught that he'd never have this unless he took a facsimile of it via force.) (this entire thing also means we can argue the lipstick she put on the dolls was a loving reference to how he wanted to be hashtag gnc asf...)

and the reason aisha does all of this is, like i said, because she cares for and remembers people for who they were. she's observant. she's perpetually the silent kid staring around the corner watching her parents yell, she's the one who figured out that taylor's bugs conveyed her emotions before/with more ease than lisa did, she's the one who can retroactively explain alec to people better than he could've explained himself. she watches and she notices things about people and then she acts on what she learns to memorialize people by wholeheartedly doing exactly what they would have wanted. even if nobody does the same for her. even if she's left in the spot of, with grim humor, advising canary to just ignore her like everyone else does. even if she's, as she tiredly tells nero in her epilogue, mysterious. even if she can't be known--because the person who really really knew her has died--she's still going to make sure that the people she knew and loved are known in exactly the way they would want to be. which is if you ask me a hell of a lot more meaningful and compelling characterization than just the idea that she's viewing things in terms of plot threads to cope.

(as for raising the heartbroken, because i didn't mention it: i do not think alec would have really cared about wanting that done, nor do i think she ever implies alec would've wanted it--she says in her epilogue that she's trying to live up to being what they both could've been Together, and seeing all those kids and going "yeah i'm going to take care of them" was very much one of the things She was bringing to that table.)

Had a long, rambling post in my drafts which I'm pretty sure has likely since been obviated by the commentary of others, but it's really interesting to me how Aisha basically picks up and carries out the remainder of Alec's telegraphed character arc after his death. Cherish shows up in the narrative when she does to remind Alec that his "fresh start" as Regent left a ton of his siblings trapped in Heartbreaker's orbit, that Heartbreaker himself is still out there; his character development over the course of the book involves becoming more and more of the kind of guy who'd eventually go back and try to resolve that in a big thematically resonant showdown. Unfortunately, as a direct result of the process of becoming that guy he gets prematurely turboexploded, so Aisha ends up being the one to sink her time and energy into resolving that dangling plot thread. And it's interesting to me because it almost reads like Aisha makes that decision thinking of the world she lives in in terms of dangling plot-threads and unfinished character arcs- narrativizing their own lives as a way of coping? I mean her last interlude is shot full of theatricality, performativity. Theatre motifs abound with the two of them in general. I dunno, there's a meta vibe to the whole thing that I'm not caffeinated enough to really try and flesh out or defend as really truly present in the text, but it feels like there's something there...

[kyrodo]

If I ever need a lesson in proper conduct I'll just avoid doing anything you do. Who knew it was so fucking easy.

Also compliance and gratitude are two separate fucking things. Rolling over and letting you stab me in the belly a million times is not something to be "grateful" for you asshole. Do you have anymore vague concepts to be a total bitch over?

When you finally treat me like a normal human being then we'll fucking talk. Imagine an abuser wanting you to be fucking grateful? "Person x hurt my friend in some way, therefore I must chop their fucking head off". Are you okay bitch? You seem a bit unhinged. You came a very long way to realize you went overboard. Dude I just fucking can't.

There's a time and place to do that for someone you care about, and you picked the wrong place and the wrong time. Who's the bitch that chose to necro when I was closing the book again. Oh right, that was you fucker. You couldn't just let me the fuck go could you? Here's a tip, know when to fuck off. I don't see how making a bad situation worse makes you a good friend. I don't fucking understand you at all.

You didn't want the "protest" to stop, are you fucking stupid? You actively incite and recycle drama how the fuck am I supposed to take you seriously? I'd rather play video games than play games with people's lives you fuck. I spent my early covid months ranting my ass off and being heartbroken, you spent it abusing people. We are not the fucking same.

I think I saw a reply or two you made where you said you weren't good at talking. Looking at all the bullshit you piled up, no fucking shit. Your idea of defusing a situation is throwing fuel at the fire, no fucking shit. You over budgeted your attack, and you need some fucking defunding. It's a good thing you're not in the force cause anybody gives you a gun and it's an "accidental" fatality waiting to happen. You understand where I'm coming from yet? That's who you are. You are literally the fucking problem. Worst of all it's in your fucking blood.

You chose the wrong weapons to use against me bitch. You thought none of that was going to bounce back? You choose the wrong words, you pick the wrong battles, you hurt the wrong people for the wrong reasons, you take the wrong approaches, everything you fucking do is wrong. Fuck OFF

If you and Red ever sat in the same room and you tried to pull a fast one on him, you try to bullshit your way around him or about me he would rip your ass to fucking shreds. And you would be the one crying. You are out of options now. If we ever breathe the same oxygen you don't understand how fucked you are. As it is he wasn't understanding towards Kay. With you he doesn't need to hold anything back. He knows you hurt me and that is all he needs to know about you. Sound familiar yet.

Red chose a dragon as a fursona, and it's not just for show. Especially given how bitter he is now he would chew you the fuck out. I know all your tricks, it wouldn't take long for him to see straight through you.

If you can't handle someone ranting or antagonizing you for even a week or two while they're getting over heartbreak then rethink your fucking life. Most people would just block someone and move on but you're fucking special. You don't fuck off until you've milked a negative interaction to the highest bidder, that is the only thing that makes you "higher" asshole