#also making the rest of us look like fucking redneck morons

[thelastmegane]

I can’t believe that this is the second case here in Oklahoma that has a small town sheriff’s office that has completely botched a murder case.

These families deserve answers! This is literally Welch, OK all over again. I am ashamed of living here right now.

[thenotebookwizard]

Notes from Driver's Ed

From the Notebook posts are things that I wrote in my notebook and decided to share with you. You're welcome. And I'm sorry. (No. No, I'm really not.)

In late 2023, I took Driver's Ed. Gotta get those insurance rates down.

I took notes. Just - not the notes the people who wrote the class probably wanted me to take.

Seriously. Who has time to to delay leaving, leave early, etc

Not talking to friends in the car? Rude. And not going to happen.

...control the actions of passengers, children, pets? Have you met the people I know? Control them? What the fuck, class. What the fuck.

Also have you met dogs?

Passengers are serious distraction. Sure.

Keep children 'occupied' with a 'quiet activity' - do you know kids? Like, at all?

Don't groom yourself. Who does that while driving? (If you know the answer to that question, are the answer to that question, or want to be the answer to that question, please don't tell me. Ignorance is bliss.)

Be careful of high profile vehicles height - including in your own garage. Umm...if it doesn't fit in my garage, and I can't figure that out, I have bigger problems than this class can solve.

How many times has this happened to be included in this class?

Animals needs to predict what I'm going to do when driving? That's - a thought, right there.

Elk and moose? In a Texas driving class? Have you been to Texas? Where are the note about coyotes, wild boar, rattlesnakes, and rednecks? (Esp. Drunk Rednecks.)

Don't drive tired. Sick. Sore. Sleepy. Frustrated. Grumpy. Etc. What the fuck kind of world are these people living in?

I am old enough I am now in the 'not as likely to die' category of men. I am not yet old enough to be in the 'more likely to cause an accident' age range. The sweet spot! Finally!

Replace your mirrors with better mirrors. Who has money for that? I'm taking this class to save money every month on insurance. Because I'm poor.

'Active scanning' Bitch, if I had sensors, I would be a lot safer about driving. What is this, Star Trek: The Next Highway?

Don't wear sunglasses at night? I was raised in the 80s. This is my birthright.

Dirty headlights may cut the amount of light - this sounds like a good plan to me. Have you *seen* (been blinded by) the power of some of these headlights at night? For fuck's sake, you want to see, not blind the other drivers for some kind of tactical raid.

Don't smoke while you drive? Back when I smoked, it was much safer for the other drivers if I did smoke while I drive. Trust me.

Don't drink and drive. By now, if you don't know this - oh. Wait. I live in Texas.

Host? When I host? When I host what? I don't get invited to parties. I don't host parties. I don't mix drinks for people. Yet again, public safety information directed at extroverts. Correlation? Extroverts are scary. I already knew that.

Chocolate is included with caffeine, cocaine, and nicotine? Whoo, boy. Y'all playin' with fire, there.

Write down make, model, license plate info of dangerous drivers? While I'm driving? ...um, no.

Circadian rhythm = not everyone is diurnal or a morning person, you fucking morons. Morning person bias needs to stop.

Control your emotions. Use a technique called 'emotional regulation' - what the fuck, people? (What about mental illness. Also: have you *met* people recently?)

You want me to drive unmedicated? Look, there are *some* people you *want* to be fully drugged up before they get on the road. *Trust me.* (Example the first: My mother, god rest her soul.)

Don't use hand signals to direct other traffic? This is Texas. People will be telling each other to go first until time ends.

If you get bored, practice 'what if' driving scenarios? Really? Because *that* won't cause anxiety. Not one bit.

[nightcoremoon]

here's some controversy that has nothing to do with social issues.

a lot of people hate the band five finger death punch. saying those words provoked a visceral response in half the people reading this, and a "who?" in the other half. they're a groove metal band; similar to slipknot, mudvayne, disturbed, all that remains, system of a down, korn, and killswitch engage. they're one of those really controversial bands that are hated because they're ~not real metal~ by dumbshits who think that NWOBHM is the only valid metal genre. even though england ruined metal and punk but that's a conbfetsation for another day.

now, if you just don't like metal, that's fine. I don't expect everyone to like every genre. so obviously you won't like them, or any band in the genre. obviously. and these are not the people who are being targeted with this post. no, this goes to those who love metallica, ozzy, megadeth, slayer, pantera, testament, opeth, tool, manowar, meshuggah, children of bodom, cannibal corpse, fear factory, mercyful fate: this is to the people who love metal. now, I say this as one of us, but metalheads are one of the most judgmental groups of people in history. and frequently I find that metalheads make the same remarks in regards to their opinions on five finger death punch.

they do nothing but covers. they just yell and cuss. forty year old men with teenage angst. bad musicianship. they look stupid. they fuck their sisters and daughters. they sold out to the military. they're gay. they do too many ballads. they're redneck bait. they're toxic masculinity and macho personified. they rely on guest stars to carry their songs. they're talentless hacks.

these are all complaints I've heard multiple times from multiple people. and frankly I'm sick of it. I'm sick of hearing the bullshit complaints rather than the ACTUAL REASONS why they aren't the best band in the world. which I'll go through now.

they have an overreliance on breakdowns as if they were a post-hardcore band but they're not. breaking benjamin also skirts the line between post-grunge metal and post-hardcore and have many breakdowns, but the difference is that BB's breakdowns have math rock roots and use different patterns that syncopate well. five finger's breakdowns are... eighth notes. it's the difference between, say, black veil brides- who have excellent syncopated breakdowns- and as I lay dying, who have shitty and boring breakdowns. the only difference is that AILD has blast beats (and is fronted by an abusive asshole), and five finger has... ivan growling threats or whatever because they think that it sounds cool to have metal blaring while he says shit like "you wanna disrespect me? I will slap you so fucking hard you'll feel like you kissed a freight train, fuck you," or "if there was ever a time for you to back the fuck up it's right fuckin here and right fuckin now" or "it's not the size of the dog in the fight it's the size of the fight in the dog," or "in the end we're all just chalk lines on the concrete, drawn only to be washed away; in the time that I've been given, I am what I am", etc, all preceding screams. and no these are not exaggerations, these are literally exact quotes. there's also one that plays radio chatter from the military while he goes "hut hut oorah", which is different slightly. and in any case, they have done nearly a hundred different solos over their career, there is NO REASON for them to have such a ridiculous amount of breakdowns. they rival memphis may fire in that regard, but MMF actually has great breakdowns. churko is a metal producer, NOT a hardcore producer, and they sound empty when you strip out the vocals.

sometimes they will overuse a chorus, and hit the pop music pitfalls of having a song that's over half chorus. I'm sure they did this so the label would be happy with singles because the music industry is a commercialized garbage fire and holding it against the artists would be so fucking stupid especially since tool (the best metal band in existence) fucking said it best, "all you know about me is what I sold you, I sold out long before you ever knew my name, I sold my soul to make a record, dipshit, then you bought one; I've got some advice for you little buddy, before you point your finger you should know that I'm the man and if I'm the man then he's he man and you're the man as well so you can take that fucking finger and shove it up your ass". translation; the fact that you know a band at all means that they sold out to even exist in the first place because that's what selling out is. so even this complaint I have that sometimes they have repeated chorus is more of a complaint about a music industry which dumbs things down to sell radioplay to the lowest common denominator, which EVERY SINGLE ARTIST IS GUILTY OF. so moving on.

sometimes they'll have songs which are fairly simple from a harmonic/mechanical standpoint. opening verse chorus verse chorus solo bridge chorus chorus ending. verse goes some mix of eighth and quarter notes and rests in 4:4, solo is just the vocal line of the chorus, bass and drums are nonexistent and only serve to be a melodic backbone, and the music only exists to serve the lyrics... oh wait I can make the exact same arguments about metallica, rage against the machine, pantera, disturbed, and a hundred other bands. those guys aren't hated as much as five finger. hmm. wonder why.

the lyrics are often angsty. namely that they deal with honor, government corruption, mental illness, we live in a society, religious corruption, abandonment issues, recovering from toxic relationships, hey wait a minute these are all just insanely common topics for metal songs!

they usually play in the same key- wait shit every band has a favored key.

they do a lot of covers- wait shit they have literally more ALBUMS than covers.

(yeah that's weird to me too, but they only did a new level by pantera, from out of nowhere by faith no more, bad company by bad company, mama said knock you out by LL cool J, house of the rising sun by the animals, gone away by offspring, and blue on black by kenny wayne shepard... that's 7. they have 8 albums now.)

so shut the fuck up forever about the cover songs. metallica and the deftones and a perfect circle all had fucking cover ALBUMS, van halen only has a career because of the kinks, and every single rock band in the world is just ripping off the beatles, pink floyd, black sabbath, the who, led zeppelin, and cream. pick a legitimate reason to hate on a band, hypocrite.

alright what else...

"they're gay"

I'm not gonna dignify that with a response.

"they suck"

so does your favorite band. boom roasted.

"they're bad at music"

I'd like to see you do better then.

"they sold out to the military"

no they support the veterans and the troops; they fucking hate the military if you pay any attention at all. they believe in the good parts of the military that the government pays half our taxes to make us believe. you're not better than anyone else just because you see through one specific piece of propaganda because odds are you're blinded by another dozen. they write songs about how war is hell and how when vets come home they should be treated better. and anyway when you're in the dog eat dog world of the music industry hey guess what you need a market to sell to or else it's back to baskin robbins. I don't blame them for one second. if I had the option of endorsing cops to pay my bills you bet your ass I'll fly a blue lives matter flag and sell my soul to make money, and then donate shit to the black lives matter movement. flying a flag is worthless if I can do actual good with the money that those dumbasses send in. and name better irony than fighting to abolish a group that pays me to do it go on I'll wait.

"you're just a fanboy"

a) it's fangirl but metal elitists don't give a shit about the LGBTQ and b) just because I like a band doesn't in any way diminish the validity of my statements and any bias I might have is easily countered by whatever bias you might have and c) they're not even my favorite band you idiot I just think there's way worse out there just like I think it's unfair to say nickelback is the worst band in existence when drunk mom rock like hinder buckcherry savingabel and kidrock exists, and limp bizkit is standing right there, and d) they're not even the worst groove metal band, just look at fucking lamb of god, and e) if I was a fangirl I wouldn't have pointed out the flaws you fucking brainless troglodyte, and f) even if they were my favorite band in the world it doesn't matter if you think they suck because music taste is subjective anyway you goddamn moron. those guys write their own music, play their own music, perform their own music, and they love their fanbase more than most other bands. andrew biersack and kellin quinn and pepper keenan and glenn danzig and liam gallagher and axl rose and van halen and ted nugent and kurt cobain HATE their fans, or at least are huge fucking assholes. but not five finger. jeremy played until he literally broke his back; he's as devoted as phil collins, and if he made like atreyu and sang while drumming he'd be singing from a wheelchair, or like dave grohl when he broke his leg right in the middle of a concert, went to the hospital and got set and put in a cast, THEN CAME RIGHT BACK TO THE FUCKING SHOW AND PLAYED GUITAR AND SANG IN A CAST AND WHEELCHAIR. oh but wait, people say phil collins and dave grohl suck too, and turn around and suck mustaine's dick even though he's the biggest asshole in thrash metal behind tom araya and drunk james hetfield. point being, just because x doesn't like y doesn't diminish z's opinion.

"the singer fucked his daughter lol lol his grandchild is his son too lol lol his daughter is his wife lol lol it's funny because rednecks and incest lol lol" he's from colorado not alabama you dumb motherfuckers, and all the lol incest in georgia jokes are rooted in good ol yankee classism. also the guitarist is hungarian so the american redneck jokes don't even fuckin work. shut the hell up, you have all of the intellectual capacity of a common bog leech.

you can dislike the band. you can say you don't like it. you can say that you'd rather listen to different music. that's fine! that's okay! listen to justin bieber if you like him, listen to taylor swift if you like her, listen to new kids on the block if you want! I don't care! but stop expressing your opinions that you stole from someone else as fact. all you're doing is meme bandwagoning so you can find a community because you don't have the social skills necessary to meet people through the things you love so instead you try to pull serotonin out of making other people feel as miserable as you do.

with that being said, fuck all of the annoying dudebro douchebags who listen to the band and show 5FDP next to the confederate flag, blue lives matter flag, don't tread on me flag, punisher skull, trump sticker, and the crossed assault rifles on the back of your truck. you're all shit for reasons other than your music taste.

[lurkerdelima]

38.“Why can’t you appreciate my sense of humor?”-silverflint

Yay Elle, thank you! ❤️ I wrote you some vampire fic because I know how much you like that verse. :D

Warning for violence! This fic has some! It is graphic. Also there is blood, because vampires. If this verse makes no sense to you, I suggest you head on over to my AO3 (WeeBeastie) and start with ‘only by the night,’ the first fic in that series. 

Silver woke up on the wrong side of the bed, and he’s not above taking it out on those around him (it’s a character flaw that he’ll readily admit to having). Unfortunately for all involved, Flint’s dragged him to the Jolly Roger for the evening, which means that everyone who makes the mistake of talking to Silver gets to deal with his attitude.

He waves Eleanor off when she tries to start a polite conversation with him. He ignores Idelle when she smiles at him. He doesn’t even engage with Charles, which is just - not like him at all. Charles is hot, Silver enjoys talking to hot people, ergo he should enjoy talking to Charles. But not tonight.

He stalks his way up the stairs to Flint’s office, hoping to find his maker there and insist he take him home. He doesn’t want to be at the club, or around people, or doing anything, anywhere, other than lying in bed and sulking. Maybe drinking some Ichor, too, since he’s feeling a bit peckish.

Instead of Flint, though, he finds their human accountant Lawrence Dufresne sitting at the desk in the office, poring over some files that Silver can just tell are incredibly boring, even from a distance. Dufresne is small and bespectacled and a bit mousy, and he and Silver have a history - not a good one, either. Dufresne clearly thinks he’s leagues ahead of Silver just because he finished high school and also went to college, while Silver has absolutely zero tolerance for that kind of intellectual snobbery. If there’s one thing he can’t stand, it’s people who underestimate him because of who he is and where he came from. 

“The fuck are you doing here?” he asks upon seeing Dufresne behind Flint’s desk. Just seeing him there in the chair - Flint’s chair! - gets Silver’s hackles up. 

“Working,” the accountant says flatly, not even looking up from his spreadsheet or whatever. “Just because you’re a kept woman doesn’t mean the rest of us can stop doing our jobs.”

“First, I’m not a woman, and second, that’s weirdly pejorative and misogynistic,” Silver points out acidly, already losing patience with Dufresne. 

“Look at you, using big words,” Dufresne says dryly, hastily writing something on a sheet of paper in front of him. “If I didn’t know better I might think you’d actually graduated high school,” he mutters, and then, “fucking redneck.”

“What?” Silver growls. “Say that again, I dare you.”

“You heard me,” Dufresne says, finally looking up from his work. His pale blue eyes are narrowed behind the thick lenses of his glasses as he slowly stands from the chair and takes a few steps toward Silver. “You’re a fucking redneck. A useless, inbred spaz, who doesn’t deserve so much as the time of day from anyone here, let alone the captain.”

Silver only intends to lunge at Dufresne and snap his jaws at him, flash his fangs just to scare him. Really. But then he feels flesh yielding under his strong, sharp teeth, and the familiar, tangy taste of warm human blood fills his mouth. He wrenches away from Dufresne, trying to withdraw before he does irreversible damage, but it’s too late. When Silver steps back, Dufresne slumps immediately to the floor. The front of his throat is a bloody mess; it looks like it’s been ripped out by a wild animal. 

It goes without saying that he’s dead. Half his blood is on Silver’s face and in his mouth and soaking into his clothes, while the other half oozes slowly out onto the floor of Flint’s office. 

“Jesus Christ,” Silver whispers. He can’t think of anything else to do, so he raises his voice, calling out just loud enough that he’s sure Flint will hear him, even over the he noise of the club. “James?”

A few moments later the door eases open and Flint, dressed for a dramatic and piratical evening in black leather pants and a long coat, slides into the office before slamming the door shut behind himself. 

Silver looks at the corpse, then at Flint. He licks his fangs, feeling the faintest hint of guilt. “...baby did a bad, bad thing.”

“You ripped his throat out. With your teeth?” Flint asks, aghast. He looks at Dufresne, then at Silver, and sighs loudly and with obvious irritation. “He was a decent worker, John. Fucking hell. Now I have to get rid of a dead man and find a new accountant.”

“I’m pretty sure he was cooking the books. Besides, he called me an inbred redneck,” Silver says defensively. “Who’s got a red neck now?” he crows, kicking Dufresne’s body. 

Flint glares. 

“Why can’t you appreciate my sense of humor?” Silver asks, pouting. “He also called me useless, and a spaz,” he adds, quieter. 

A stormy, brooding expression settles on Flint’s face. He strides over to Silver and takes his bloodied face gently in both hands, then starts to clean him off...by licking him. 

“What is this?” Silver asks, closing his eyes and letting Flint lick his face. It’s weird, but he doesn’t hate it. Not at all. 

“You have a better way to get blood off your face?” Flint murmurs. “It is rather delicious, shouldn’t let it go to waste. Too bad he was such a fucking moron. He deserved what you did.”

“Redneck I’ll cop to, even if I take offense to it on principle as a term,” Silver says, snickering because Flint’s cool, wet tongue tickles as it rasps along his jawline. “Inbred, maybe, probably. Who knows, my cousins and I do all look pretty much the same. Useless, though? Spaz? Come the fuck on, Lawrence,” he mutters. “Ableist piece of shit.”

“Mm,” Flint agrees, and then Silver decides he’s done talking because Flint has stopped licking and started kissing, and that’s all he needs, really. 

They do dispose of the corpse, eventually - the details of said disposal, though, are too gruesome to be stated here (there’s a hacksaw involved). Then Flint takes Silver home, and Silver lets himself get swept up in the sensation of having the undivided attention of an intense, talented, beautiful man like Flint.

It’s his favorite feeling in the world.

[quakerjoe]

“Here’s my rebuttal to this pilfered top ten list. Text: Over here on the left we are every bit as patriotic as you pathetic losers claim to be; the thing is that we love our Constitution and our flag like mature adults and not like children fed a steady diet of jingoism and paint chips. Since you asked “What else?” here are ten things that make conservatives piss themselves: 10 – Brown people. The fact that we will be a majority minority country in a few decades means you white peckerwood redneck, guntarded assholes are terrified because A] You know you will lose whatever sway you have left as a voting bloc B] You all know how conservatives have treated minorities historically 9 – Imaginary gun grabs. No one wants to take your compensators. No one. The left just wants to make sure that the insane, the wife beaters, scumbags with criminal records and everyone deemed unsafe to fly the friendly skies can’t get their hands on AR-15s. While you morons look at your arsenals does it ever occur to you that you got played by the NRA who used the boogeyman of the Kenyan Muslim Socialist Usurper who never fucking showed up to get you to dole out bajillions to the domestic arms industry? 8 – Imaginary FEMA camp internment complete with FEMA coffins and guillotines. Also RFIDs. Also imaginary UN invasions. Also imaginary martial / sharia law. Also Jade Helm. Also go fuck yourself. 7 – Someone, ANYONE, who says “Happy holidays!” instead of merry Christmas. The unimaginable fucking horror of getting a plain red cup to go cup of coffee while you’re celebrating Saturnalia really also seems to chap your fat asses. 6 – A university education. This one is kinda sad because the same education that would make you idiots marginally less idiotic could potentially prepare you for a life where you’re not waiting for coal to make a comeback or for factory jobs to stop getting taken by microchips. 5 – Gay people getting treated like, well, people. Because OMFG, how horrible it must be for aging Christian bigots to see gay people getting married and raising families and getting the same tax breaks and job benefits as everyone else. It’s just as bad as when the coloreds started using the same water fountains and restrooms as you did and could sit in the same parts of the movie theater as all y’all. 4 – Science. 3 – Sharia Law. Unless, of course, it’s the kind of religious law that stems from a right wing protestant or Cafeteria Catholic interpretation of the Bible that would justify your ability to treat gay people, atheists or anyone else outside of your standard interpretation of Bronze Age bullshit that you yourselves could never live up to. Never mind that the flavor of god you profess would have you beat your swords into plowshares and your spears into pruning hooks while feeding the poor, healing the sick and praying where no one could see you pray. Who needs THAT gay commie crap? Amirite? 2 – Taxes. Sure, no one likes having to pay up when the tax bill comes but it’s not like the 1950s where the top rate was up around 90%. Even so we GOT something for our money back then: Highways, bridges, tunnels, airports, dams and all kinds of great stuff, including a public education system, that led us to having the greatest economy in the world. You idiots scream about taxes when you’re paying less than you ever have before but God-for-fucking-bid there’s ever a bad can of Vienna Sausages on a shelf in Pocatello because you morons will be the ones screaming ‘WHERE THE HELL WAS THE GOVERNMENT?’ louder than anybody else. 1 – History. Because if you people knew your history, even basic American history, you would know that the Civil War was inevitable and that it was fought over whether or not slavery would continue to exist in these post-revolutionary United States and that your Orange Messiah skipped the part where the rest of us learned this basic fact. If you morons knew your American history you would stand there, mouths agape like the rest of us, when Cheeto Mussolini said Andrew Jackson had very many sads over the Civil War knowing that our 7th POTUS died 15 years before the Civil War began. You would also realize that the Electoral College was set up to keep know-nothing populist demagogues like Trump far, far away from the levers of power in this country. Fear not snowflakes: You’ll be experiencing buyer’s remorse very soon, perhaps even worse than Czar Putin currently has it.”

- The Voice of Reason