#also luis tells him when he gets back from a trip to spain for the anniversary of leon's death :))

[geddy-leesbian]

you know I thought I was being nice and sparing Leon Some trauma in this AU by him not having shitty parents like usual, just dead parents

should have known it couldn't last. accidentally stumbled into a subplot of Luis reminiscing about his grandfather and Leon being like "wait" and realizing oh yeah his parents kinda sucked damn

[luis-serra-kennedy]

yeehaw. this is from the spinoff au which i intend to get back to eventually i just have writer's block with chapter 2 and keep skipping ahead and writing stuff that will happen in the sequel fic. Anyways sorry for the rambling i am very drunk, basically important context is that in the second chapter of the posted fic will have leon and luis smoking weed and leon rambling about wanting luis to get him pregnant in a year bc he wants to be a dad, and also luis invites him to go to spain with him once his album is done

So this is set when they're in spain, Leon started feeling sick as soon as they got there and this isba few days in. Also nothing will be italicized bc when i copy/paste from google docs to tumblr it doesn't keep formatting and im too ✨️drunk✨️ to manually add the italics back sorry here we goooo fun emoji to separate my rambling from excerpt

🎸

“Let me guess, you're coming in to tell me there's still leftovers from dinner and ask if I'm feeling better and want to try eating some? I don't. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of eating your shitty cooking! I wanted to like it, I gave it so many chances, all it does is make me throw up! Your cooking sucks. Or maybe just the Spanish food itself since nothing else you make does this!” Leon's voice is loud and every word is laced with venom. He knows that he's going to regret saying all of this because it's going to drive away the best thing that ever happened to him, but he just can't make himself stop, the words just keep tumbling out. “Or maybe you're in here to tell me you want me to go out and do some activity or something with your grandpa. Not interested. Don't want to spend time with someone I can't understand. And I just don't want to do anything else here because every second here has been miserable. I'm over it! I hate you, I hate Spain, I hate you for making me come to this shitty country! Never traveling again. This has been the worst week of my life, fuck Spain, fuck you, fuck your grandpa, why couldn't he just come to America to visit you? Why'd we have to come to this shitty country to visit him, he could have visited us and had a better time. I hate this, hate it here.”

“Well, thank you for the honesty. Clearly I'm a bigger idiot than I thought, here I was thinking you were just being antisocial because you were sick and feeling shitty. It wasn't your fault you got sick, but it's also not my fault. You don't have the right to treat me like this. You don't have the right to scream at me, insult my cooking, my homeland, my culture, my family,” Luis's words aren't loud. There's no white hot anger. Just completely neutral, detached. And for some reason that hurts more. Leon wishes Luis had yelled at him too. “Goodnight. I'm sleeping on the couch. I suggest packing your things before you fall asleep, you hate it here and want to go back to America, wish granted. First thing in the morning I'll make some calls and get you on a plane back ASAP, then I can finally relax and enjoy time with my favorite person in the world, my grandfather. Or maybe I'll go out and meet someone new, someone who really appreciates me, who won't berate me, who wants to have sex with me and not give me lame excuses not to for weeks.”

Great job, Leon. You're a loser who was lucky enough to get a millionaire rockstar boyfriend, and you lost him because you got sick and then started picking fights with him instead of even trying to enjoy your Spain vacation and earn the approval of said rockstar's family.

He can't be upset with Luis for this, because he doesn't feel like the person he was before this trip. That wasn't where the trouble started– for weeks, Leon's been a pretty shitty boyfriend. He's had a short fuse, snapping at Luis for things he normally wouldn't care about. He's wanted more space from Luis, a lot more alone time than he wanted previously. He went from being alright with sex at least every other day, to wanting it less than every week. But things still felt salvageable. Luis didn't complain. There was a sort of unspoken understanding that Leon was just stressed and their trip to Spain would help him relax and get their relationship back on track. Even on the days Leon felt particularly irritable, he would be excited for the trip. For a chance to have family.

Having no (accepting) parental figures of his own, he'd been a mix of excited and anxious about meeting Luis's grandfather. He wanted his approval so much, he felt like he would have done anything to earn it. Then he actually got to Spain and suddenly stopped caring about everything. He didn't even look around the room he was in, and it's Luis's childhood bedroom, he could be learning more about Luis if he gave a single shit. He ruined everything.

Maybe Leon isn't supposed to be with men who are nice and treat him like Luis does. He was never a shitty boyfriend to Krauser. Krauser got sex every day that he wanted it (which was every day) no matter how Leon felt. He never dared to raise his voice to Krauser. He was afraid of Krauser, that kept him in line. He loves Luis but isn't afraid of him, that means he's a shitty boyfriend.

…

Leon hasn't had a single good night in Spain. But this night is by far the worst. All the other times he woke up in the middle of the night nauseous, Luis would wake up too and follow him to the bathroom, and hold his hair back if he actually started throwing up and rub his back and kiss the top of his head and whisper soothing words and–

Leon doesn't even bother getting up to go to the bathroom when he wakes up sick this time. Luis is asleep on the couch, Leon would have to walk past him and probably accidentally wake him up, and he's already pissed, Leon doesn't want to upset him even more. But maybe Luis doesn't completely hate him, there's some crackers and a glass of water on the nightstand that Luis must have brought in after Leon fell asleep. But that doesn't mean that Luis still loves him, it just means he doesn't want Leon dying in his childhood bedroom. He tries taking a sip of water, but it doesn't stay down. Hopefully he'll wake up before Luis so he can sneak out and wash the bile out of the sheets so Luis doesn't have to deal with any more of his crap.

…

When Leon wakes up, he isn't alone like he should be. Luis is sitting on the edge of the bed, gently petting his hair. Something isn't real. Either Leon didn't actually yell at Luis and just dreamed it, or he's dreaming right now. But he doesn't feel like he's dreaming, and last night didn't feel like a dream either.

“You awake, mi amor?” Luis asks softly, having noticed Leon's breathing change and his body tense slightly as he realized Luis was touching him. Leon opens his eyes a crack, and sees Luis is gazing at him like he used to, like when he thought Leon was so perfect and had never done anything wrong. “How are you feeling this morning? Still nauseous? I went out and got you some different drinks, sodas and gatorade, you should drink something. You should maybe try eating something easy too, might perk you up a little bit? I haven't been taking good care of you, I should have been doing this sooner, not just trying to feed you my cooking.”

“Fucking actors. You hate me now, want to throw me out, you being nice now, just an act. Cut the crap, stop trying to take care of me. I'll let you take me back to the airport and won't complain or argue, just don't make it harder by pretending you still care about me. You'll never forgive me for what I said last night, our relationship is over. I tried packing like you said, but I just felt too sick and dizzy. Still feel a little dizzy. Just help me pack, let me call Claire and see if she'll pick me up, then all you have to do is drop me off at the airport and forget about me and upgrade to someone better who treats you better. Fuck, almost forgot, I need help changing the sheets too, threw up in the middle of the night, didn't make it to the bathroom. I hoped I'd wake up before you and not feel like shit so I could clean up and pack and stop being your problem…”

“Shh, baby. I want to pretend that last night didn't happen and start fresh. I'm not mad at you. I don't want to kick you out, make you get on a plane, for a fight that was basically just my fault. I wanted to come in and talk to you and apologize last night when I realized what an idiot I was, but you were already–”

“No. I want to pretend it didn't happen, but we can't. It's over. The shit I said isn't stuff someone can forgive and forget. How could you? Every time you look at me you're just going to be thinking about me yelling that I hate you and your family, I fucked everything up.”

“I fucked everything up by being self absorbed and taking far too long to notice something incredibly obvious about my boyfriend. Leon, can you please look at me?” Leon does finally lift his head back up, and sees Luis already noticed the mess and threw a towel over it, having been unable to actually change any bedding without waking Leon. “I can forgive and forget, because that wasn't really you last night. It was so out of character. It isn't Leon, I know you're not like this. You sometimes find me annoying and like to tease me and make fun of me, but normally you have more boundaries, lines you won't cross. You're never cruel, you never want to cut me so deep. Now you're yelling at me, you're insulting things that you'd normally think are crossing the line. Something is making you act like this. And, after talking to my grandfather, I realized that something is possibly my fault. Probably my fault, even.”

“Shut up. You didn't get me sick, you haven't been sick. And I know I blamed your food, but I was just being stupid, I was sick before getting here. Remember, I threw up a couple days before leaving. You wanted to postpone the whole trip, but I felt better after and said we should still go. You said it yourself last night, being sick doesn't excuse what I said.”

“I agree that I didn't get you sick… This didn't start with your upset stomach. It started before that first time you threw up. You were exhausted and napping all the time. You started eating more too, I even had to start adjusting how much food I'd make to keep up with your appetite. You started getting a bit moodier, snapping at me for small things once in a while. Of course there's the dry spell too. I didn't really think much about it though… But now that you're also throwing up and constantly completely pissed off at me for no reason, things are starting to look more obvious,” Luis thought it might click for Leon then, but he still just looks confused. “Think! Pregnancy! I got you pregnant! I was venting to my grandfather last night, he joked that you were acting just like my grandmother and mother acted while pregnant. I felt like such a piece of shit, seriously, he clocked that you were pregnant before me and he didn't even know it was physically possible for you to be, he just thought he was making a joke. What kind of a boyfriend am I for not noticing what all your symptoms pointed to, when I'm well aware that you're capable of getting pregnant and came inside you a couple months ago?”

“Jesus Christ. No. I got back on the pill before we did that, when we decided we wanted to wait a year.”

“Pills can fail, mi amor. You being pregnant explains everything. I wish I put the pieces together sooner, I wouldn't have dragged you out here. Your symptoms got so much worse since coming here. I think the stress of being away from home is making you worse, stress can affect the body.”

“I'm not pregnant! I'm just a shitty boyfriend that got food poisoning at a bad time. Just go back to being mad at me, send me home so I don't ruin more of your trip.”

“I didn't go to the store just to buy you drinks, I bought pregnancy tests. Take them. If I'm wrong and they're negative, I'll break up with you and send you home. I'm right and they're positive… Well, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Deal?”

“I'll take the stupid tests. But they're going to be negative. So then you're going to admit I'm just a bad person and send me home,” Leon pauses. “Am I going to have to do a walk of shame past your grandpa?”

“He's still in his room, I said we needed privacy.”

Leon shuffles off to the bathroom and Luis starts following him in.

“What the hell are you doing? Into watching me piss?”

“The instructions are in Spanish, you need help.”

“Don't need instructions or help, done enough of them to have it memorized,” Luis gives him a look. “Never been pregnant if you're worrying about that. Just had scares with my ex.”

“Okay, okay, sorry, I'll leave you to it. They take a couple hours? You want to go back to sleep after and I'll wake you up when the result is ready?”

“Fine.”

…

While he was too stubborn to admit it, Leon had started to believe that Luis was actually onto something. Pills aren't silver bullets, and pregnancy did explain literally everything that was wrong. And it excused it. Luis was so mad at him. He was cold, wanted to kick him out, break up with him, wouldn't sleep in the same bed. But once he started thinking Leon was pregnant, he was right back to being the perfect, doting boyfriend who looked at Leon like he was the most beautiful person in the whole world who had never done anything wrong in his life. Pregnancy was his only hope, his get out of jail free card. There was no other scenario that would make Luis forgive him for shit talking his grandfather and complaining about visiting him. Well, maybe if he had a brain tumor, that might get him a pass. But that's not on the table. Either he was pregnant or he inherited his father's issues.

So Leon's heart sinks when he gets woken up by the sounds of Luis rummaging around and opens his eyes to see him packing his suitcase. He doesn't get to use hormones as an excuse. “I'm really fucking sorry for treating you like this for no reason at all” just doesn't hit as strongly as “I'm really fucking sorry, I love you and I know you love me, my body is just being flooded with absurd amounts of hormones and they're making me completely irrational” does.

He's the problem. By the time Luis notices Leon's awake, he's bawling his eyes out. He wishes he'd been able to keep himself together, because the sobbing makes Luis feel guilty enough to forget he's mad and come hug Leon.

“Hey, what's wrong, do you–”

“What's wrong? Where the fuck do I start? I've been puking up my guts for days, I'm a piece of shit that's pushing my perfect boyfriend away for no reason, said things that can never be unsaid, and I'm not pregnant so he's packing my shit to kick me out because he won't feel guilty now that he knows there's no baby.”

“Leon. You're not being thrown out. You're not a piece of shit. You are pregnant. Both tests gave positives, even quicker than the box said they're supposed to take. I'm not mad at you. As far as I'm concerned, last night's fight didn't happen. You said horrible things, but horrible things you don't actually believe. I said horrible things too. It's all water under the bridge now.”

“Then why’re you packing? You said if it was negative, you'd–”

“I wasn't just packing your things, I was packing my own too. Your body is doing the most difficult thing the human body is capable of. You need to be at home, comfortable, in your own bed, resting and relaxing. Not in a foreign country, in my childhood bedroom, an unfamiliar place. With me not paying enough attention to you because I was distracted by time with my grandfather, if I was more attentive, I would have realized what your symptoms pointed to and had you take a test before things got to a point where you blew up, but I was only briefly checking in on you, spending most of my time with him… You needed me more, I let you down. We're going back today, both of us, together. You'll feel better being home, and… we do have more options at home. I mean, we both said we wanted kids but not this soon. Termination isn't legal here, and, uh, I did the math, you have to be getting close to the cutoff…”

“You want me to get an abortion so badly that you're willing to cut this trip short just to make it happen. That's what you want? Me having your baby is so fucking awful to you that you want to cut your important trip short just to avoid that!”

“No, Leon, no,” Luis pauses for a second and looks up at the ceiling. This conversation is walking across a field of landmines. “The way I was raised, the only person who gets a say is the one who's pregnant. When my mother got pregnant with me, my grandfather immediately started making arrangements to take her out of the country for an abortion because he thought it was the correct thing to do, her boyfriend left her, she was in nursing school, she wasn't ready for a baby. But I exist, so obviously that didn't happen. Because he stopped as soon as he realized it wasn't what she wanted. He still thought she was making a mistake, but it was her decision. All I want is whatever you want. I didn't think you'd want to keep it, I mean, the last time we talked about this you said you were going to get back on the pill because you weren't ready for a baby. But my grandfather thought my mother wasn't ready and wouldn't want to keep the pregnancy…”

“It doesn't work like that. You can't just not have an opinion about something so life altering. You're just pretending you don't care.”

“Of course I care. Of course there's an option I like more. But it doesn't matter. Your body, your decision to make. I made my choice the moment I decided to have unprotected sex with you, after that it was out of my hands. I promise you, I will be supportive either way.”

“Easier said than done. If I say I want to keep it, you'll say you're okay with that, you'll even do the supportive stuff. But deep down, you'll resent me. For keeping it and fucking up your whole career because I couldn't just stick to the plan and wait a year when it would be easier.”

“Okay. What I'm getting out of this is that you do want to keep it? Correct me if I'm wrong.”

“I don't know. I don't know what I want. I've been through so many feelings the past few hours. I wanted to be pregnant because then nothing would be my fault and you'd still love me. I thought I wanted a baby, even though it's sooner. But now I think you don't want a baby now, so I don't want one right now, because I want to be with you and it's not worth jeopardizing that. Plus being this exhausted and throwing everything up and hating you for no reason and crying over everything… I don't know why I wanted to be pregnant and why I still want to be. This shit sucks. I knew I'd throw up and get fat, didn't expect me to feel like the world is ending every 5 minutes. Maybe this isn't normal, maybe something else is wrong with me.”

“I wish I could tell you that it isn't normal and you could take a pill and feel better. But it is normal. I also wish I could tell you I understand how you're feeling, but I can't do that either because I don't know. I don't know how it feels suddenly being full of hormones that mess with your head and make you feel crazy, and I never will understand because biology isn't fair. But I can at least tell you that I know what you're going through is real, even if I can't understand it so personally. Supposedly my grandmother went from sweetest woman to raging bitch overnight when she got pregnant. Absolutely hated my grandfather. Just his smell pissed her off and she'd want to strangle him. My mother wasn't that bad, but she was still overly emotional. It isn't all bad though. You get to have a special bond with the baby I'll never experience. The very first thing the baby will hear after growing ears is your heartbeat. You'll be able to feel the kicks inside weeks before I can feel anything from the outside. I won't be able to rock the baby to sleep until they're born, you'll be able to rock them in a couple months just walking around, every move you make the baby will feel…”

“Your smell doesn't piss me off. I think I like it more than I did before,” Leon says, completely ignoring Luis's sappier sentences. Because they were almost sounding like Luis wants this. But he doesn't, there's no reason for him to, it just doesn't make sense. “God, can you just tell me what you want?”

“I want this now. I want us to have a baby now, not wait another year. And, even though I don't really believe in all the destiny and everything happens for a reason stuff, I have to admit that the timing feels special. Like it was meant to be. I didn't realize before, but after thinking, it hit me that I got you pregnant the very first try. There was only one time we did something that could result in pregnancy. I think we both know that I rarely do things right the first time. But the world doesn't revolve around me. If the timing for you feels wrong, then it is, I'll be patient and wait until you're ready and we can try again. Actually, it doesn't even need to be the old fashioned way. I've heard they can do a lot with surrogacy nowadays, we could have a baby that's biologically both of ours but carried by a surrogate instead of you. Then you wouldn't have to deal with all those horrible symptoms.”

“God. I don't know. That sounds like a dream come true on paper. None of the physical symptoms, won't have to worry about how the hell I'll hide an obvious baby bump… But something just doesn't feel right. You got me feeling all stupid and sappy with that talk about the silver linings. Probably would have been on board with surrogacy before you said that crap, but not anymore. Maybe it's just hormones fucking with my judgment, but I don't like the thought of some random woman we don't know being the first person to start bonding with our baby.”

“I don't like it very much either. If it's you, I also still get to start bonding sooner,” Luis starts to reach out to stroke Leon's stomach, but stops short, his hand hovering awkwardly because he's not sure how welcome that kind of touch will be. Leon looks down at his hand and nods, giving Luis permission to set his hand there. He smiles when his hand feels the unusually firm spot. “Of course I don't get to have the really special that you do, but I'll be able to talk to your belly, feel the kicks, eventually. Every night. Not something I could do with a surrogate. I'll do as much as I can to make it easier on you. We'll hide it as long as possible. Baggy clothes will probably do it for a good while. Even when you can't hide it at all anymore, I highly doubt anyone will look at you and think pregnancy. You pass so well, they'll think beer belly or something else first. God, how the hell did I not notice?! This doesn't feel like normal weight gain…”

“Didn't get a chance to notice. I've been so bitchy and hormonal, didn't let you touch me enough. The real question is how I didn't notice.”

“Because you're a tough guy who doesn't like being vulnerable and dependent, so you keep your head buried in the sand and pretend nothing is ever wrong so you can live in blissful denial.”

“Shut up. You're a rockstar, not a shrink. Don't psychoanalyze me.”

“But am I wrong? You're just proving my point, mi amor. Don't deflect, this is important. You need to learn to admit that you need my help if we want this to go smoothly.”

“Your ego's massive. You're not that important. I'm not dying, I'm just pregnant! I'm tired, I eat more, I throw up a lot, big fucking deal. I don't need you. I could do this without you. I didn't have you when I was sick last night and I survived. I can take care of myself,” Luis knows that Leon is wrong. In so many different ways. Objectively. He absolutely does need Luis, if for no other reason than the financials. But he also knows that attempting to argue with Leon when he's like this will be futile. He sighs and gets up and starts heading for the door. He'll give Leon some space and wait for him to cool off a bit, then come back and try to gently talk some– “Christ, don't go. Please. You can't just leave me. I was lying, I do need you. Just don't– please, you can't–”

“Hey, hey, deep breaths. I was going to come back. I was just going to give you a little bit of space to calm down. But if you don't want space, I'm not leaving.”

[inmyarmswrappedin]

DRUCK reactions - s4 ep1

Ages ago I said I wanted to write meta about Cris’ and Matteo’s seasons, so of course, when I finally sit down to write reactions to a Skam remake, it’s about Amira instead.

A few weeks back I was composing tumblr posts in bed before falling asleep (my number 1 hobby lol) when it struck me that the writing for Amira’s season was really… indefensibly bad. So let’s stroll down through memory lane and revisit Druck s4, or how to throw away your potential because you have to put out this season before summer is over!

CLIP 1: Dark clouds over Winterberg

Obviously I’m writing these with the benefit of hindsight, but I will try and incorporate what my initial reaction to a clip was whenever I can remember.

Sometime between the Abiball episode and episode 32, I argued (on twitter) that the Abiball special was the Abiball episode instead, the first episode of Amira’s season. It would thus introduce us to the conflicts and characters that would take place during Amira’s season. I thought that in addition to the obvious Amira/Mohammed, Carlos/Kiki/Essam would be important, Kiki’s family life would be important, Stefan would be important, and David/Matteo would probably not be important as they seemed to be doing just fine in their scenes.

I didn’t think Mia/Alex would be important because I didn’t actually watch their clip lol. The Winterberg stans on my twitter orbit thought the clip was cute and nothing to worry about. That should’ve been my first clue that the (twitter) stan habit of repeating the “we never lose” mantra doesn’t make for great viewing comprehension, because watching the clip, it’s so obvious that shit is gonna go down lol.

Mia moves from one of the flat share’s bathrooms to the other because they never really recreated Mia’s room in the s3 flat share.

I still haven’t watched Mia’s episode, so I don’t know how all this stuff is going to get resolved, but it seems like Mia doesn’t think they can handle a LDR, and Alex is picking up on those vibes hard. I guess I don’t really get why Mia is so pessimistic about it because at that age I kinda thought a few months break weren’t really an obstacle. (Not sure if it would help me to watch Mia’s season, because this seems like a wholly new conflict.)

Anyway, Alex acts sweet/reassuring (I really like how soft spoken everyone is in this episode), so Mia puts it out of her mind for now. But Idk, they haven’t really spoken about the elephant in the room.

CLIP 2: Don’t call them the chastest evak ever again

Tbh this clip comes across as a direct rebuttal to all the s3 commentary about David and Matteo seeming like they’re not into each other, or like they aren’t ~passionate~ like the other evaks.

It’s like, “these gremlins are horny on main, now shut up.”

But I like that they’re fully dressed, like yes, you can show physical intimacy without undressing your teen actors (shade fully intended).

I love Lukas von Horbatschewsky’s hair and I’m very jealous of Matteo in this sequence, lmao.

Luis Sepúlveda died of coronavirus this year, in Spain. You’re welcome for that bit of 2020 misery dripping onto this cute clip.

I do think David feels guilty that he may have caused Matteo to fail his Spanish exam because of David’s own issues, which I think is very on brand for David. Obviously it wasn’t his fault.

I really like how soft spoken everyone is in this episode, 2X.

And this has been said a million times by now, but David and Matteo are the one evak version where they’re the same age (Joana is in the same year as Cris, but is a year older, so she must’ve gotten held back at some point). So it’s funny, and possibly a reference to Isak and Even, to see David talking about what it’d be like if they had that age difference. Like, maybe David would be more like Even in behavior! And, going by Matteo’s reaction, he wouldn’t be into that.

This clip really feels like the ending to Matteo and David. They’ll go on a road trip, they’ll work on David’s movie, they’ll be around, but this clip is their conclusion. They both feel secure and content in their relationship, and ready for everything that’s to come.

Like I said on the post about Cris and Joana, I like that David and Matteo don’t have further issues. And while I have tons of issues with Druck s4, which I will be talking about forever in the following posts, I never had an issue with how they deployed Matteo or David. (Okay, self. Now say that again without crying about David’s season that should have been.)

Fucking David cutting their make out short only to then say such a highkey flirty, romantic thing to Matteo though. No wonder Matteo’s like, “STOP, I’M SUPPOSED TO STUDY.”

CLIP 3: A challenger appears!

I like the fanon that David is a healthy eater (or at least in comparison to Matteo), because all we ever see David eat of his own volition (i.e. not food that was made for him) is candy.

God, I love Kiki snatching David’s fruity gummies out of his hands. It makes me laugh every time, particularly how she demands to know if the candy is vegan.  

Hanna looks beautiful. ;_;

There’s a split second when Jonas is about to give Hanna that box where David looks alarmed in the background. In my mind he’s all, “Bro, no. Not a public proposal. Reel it back in, bro!”

And then, to the surprise of Jonas and all the viewers, we find out that not only are Jonas and Hanna not together, but Hanna is dating German Arthur. Again, in “fandom refuses to acknowledge storyline conflict until it’s staring right at them” news, Stefan had actually been introduced via an audio to Hanna the day before, but people were convinced it was Hanna’s dad. Whose actor they called just to record an audio. Clearly.

My belief at this point was that Stefan would be relevant to Amira’s storyline, but instead it was just a way to give Hanna her own episode. 🤡

Matteo’s transformation into Michi is complete by donning his grandpa hat.

He also makes to trip David for no real reason. Throwback to Unter Wasser.

Matteo saying Inshallalalah in a sing song voice is cute, but so annoying.

Matteo Florenzi: He’s a pain in the ass, but we love him.

CLIP 4: I guess Abdi and Axel picked up his grades at another point

I love the way Matteo grabs David’s head to pull him along. They’re so cute and I’m gonna enjoy every second.

Jonas also grabs Hanna along, because fans needed to be further confused as to what was happening with Hanna and Stefan and Jonas.

Thank you, Druck, for telling me Kiki’s and Amira’s grades, but as you can understand, that’s nowhere near enough to satisfy my curiosity and I will be needing to know everyone’s GPA because that is the kind of thing that’s important to me. What about it!!!

I think, going by how impressed Mia is, that Mia’s grade isn’t as good as Amira’s. Which I think is a neat detail, since the Nooras are kind of supposed to be the perfect girls. I like that Amira is even better than Mia at school.

I thought the concept of Carlos failing his final exam and maybe realizing school wasn’t his thing would’ve been an interesting storyline to explore, but I’m not mad that it didn’t happen. Hopefully Druck will touch on it with the next kids.

And we’re now treated to three reveals about Kiki. Kiki has a sister (now she has two), she likes the idea of moving out and living with Carlos, and her mom isn’t doing well.

The remakes trying to develop their Vildes past s4 make sense to me. By the end of Skam, Vilde clearly was the character who’d been the most robbed of a season, there were several potential storylines to do with her. Financial instability, alcoholic mom, eating disorders, plus it seemed obvious that any season taking place during the girls’ russetide should go to her. And that’s without getting into Vilde’s strong denial that she was a lesbian.

So the remakes are sitting on all these potential storylines, but as we now know, they can’t make their own Vilde season.

And from a European TV exec’s point of view, Vilde (who in every version is a white, skinny, ostensibly straight girl) is a very safe main after the gay and Muslim seasons.

Cue the LITTLE SISTER.  

I get why people are fed up with the Vildes’ prominence in the remakes that are in their latter stages, but at the same time we got 8 versions of Noora’s season, most of which are a limpdicked enemies to lovers story with a misguided sexual assault storyline tacked at the end. (And I say misguided because after a strong start, it’s mostly about what William will think, how William will react, I can’t tell William about this, etc.) So in my case, I’ve had quite enough Noora to last me a lifetime, but my Vilde thirst has only begun to be quenched.

Tangent over, Kiki lies that she’s not going to the lake because she’s going to check on Carlos. Bad form, Kiki.

CLIP 5: Graduation (Friends Forever).mp3

In clown news, I predicted there’d be a clip between the Kiki stuff and the actual dance (maybe a Sam clip), as it seemed to me there wasn’t much of a connection between Kiki looking sad on that ping pong table and PARTY TIME. Lol at me.

And speaking of clowning, while I thought the Abiball episode was part of s4, I also thought that was fine because it was just doing the multi POV episode in the beginning of the season rather than at the end, right? Wrong.

As much as it would’ve been great if Sam and Abdi had storylines pertaining to racism and islamophobia (whether Abdi is or isn’t a Muslim, people would probably assume he is), I also have to admit… This conversation is hilarious.

“I want to have intercourse with you.” [glass breaks in the background]

Abdi closing his speech with a wide smile gvvhvh.

The first hundred times I watched this scene, I thought Alex seemed a bit alarmed at the conversation taking place, but really… We’re back to stone-faced Alex lol.

Don’t kill me, but I feel a little bad for Abdi in this moment. He really put himself out there and Sam just leaves without giving him an answer, yikes. I actually got tired of Abdi’s sad sackiness during the season, but right now I feel for him. L

There’s this smile Jonas sometimes directs at dudes (like Alex here) that makes me think… Bi. He also directs it at Matteo in s3.

Ugh.

There’s a parallel universe where Stefan was the villain of Amira’s season, and it would’ve been a much more interesting season than the one we got.

Because Stefan is a bit of a Darth Jonas. He works for Greenpeace, but, at least in this scene, seems a bit full of himself, and like… twisting the knife in a way that feels like it has to be intentional. And it would’ve been so interesting if Druck had tackled the white dudes who seem like they’re not going to be assholes about Muslims, but then turn around and say some shocking garbage. I’m sure we’ve all met a guy like that before.

In my mind, Stefan would’ve driven a wedge between Hanna and Amira, which would’ve been way more compelling than what we got, but on the other hand, it probably would’ve made fandom people hate Hanna, and people outside of fandom hate Amira.

Anyway, tag teaming gays! I love how David and Matteo share a look and immediately take care of both Jonas and Stefan.

I also love it when David looks murderous. It looks good on him.

But I feel like this didn’t go anywhere? Like, Matteo always hated Stefan and continued hating Stefan until the finale. In this scene, David seems to dislike Stefan just as much, but it’s not a thread they bother following. It’s too bad because I think Matteo and David together sabotaging Stefan is a lot funnier than just Matteo doing it.

I love how soft spoken Amira is when telling Essam not to show up at her graduation party. I would’ve been a lot less polite lmao.

You know, I actually thought Kiki was genuine here when she said she wasn’t a fan of competitions. Obviously that’s not the Kiki we’ve known until this point, but like, I thought it was meant to show character development on her part, But we’ll talk about THAT more in the following episodes.

Matteo fully blames their win on David being so hot, mysterious and new, and it’s hilarious because that’s also what initially drew him to David. Like, “fuck you for being so hot!”

I thought it was such a nice detail that they brought back the girl from the refugee classes in s1. We’re saying goodbye to all these school people who are going on their own post high school journeys without us!

In my mind, Abdi and Alex are talking about something completely serious, like, I don’t know, Abdi’s dad wanting him to study business and Alex advising Abdi on the best business schools in Berlin or something.

I feel like Hanna is the one girl in the squad who really doesn’t feel ready for post high school life and I HATE the writers so much for how they wrapped her character up, but we’ll save that for later.

I could watch Matteo passing the tiara (=the main) to Amira forever. The way he tips his hat and looks like even he’s a little surprised that he (a character like him!) was ever the lead on a teen show, David’s voice asking Matteo if he’s coming, Matteo leaving with David to live happily ever after, the initial notes of Just Got Paid as Amira looks at nighttime Berlin. This meme is overdone by now, but THE POETIC CINEMA.

Jonas glaring at romantic rivals at end of year dances is iconic at this point.

Amira being tagteamed by an annoying little brother AND a well-meaning, embarrasing older brother. Choose your own nightmare.

I really love the set up for the Essam/Kiki/Carlos conflict. The emotional potential is SO good because on one hand you have Kiki, who wants to have a good time for once instead of parenting her own parent, then Carlos whose self-esteem is on the floor after having failed his final exam, and Essam, whose own sense of self-worth hinges upon whether white German girls find him attractive. Like, obviously Essam is never going to come between Kiki and Carlos who have been through some shit together, but with Carlos out of commission and Essam eager to please, you can see how the situation could so easily turn into a mess.

Amira and Mohammed have the most sexual tension out of any Yousana pair, period. They literally just said hi to each other and I already feel like I’m intruding gvhvhv.      

Social media

David saying of Matteo: “Er bekommt Auslauf.” (Something like, “he gets walkies” because he’s been good with revising) is the cutest shit ever.

Remember when Stefan sent Jonas a whole ass message and signed it “with sunny greetings”? Stefan was much more fun when we were supposed to find him unbearable.

Kiki creating a new Whatsapp group for every single thing is so true to life.

I’d forgotten that Amira also hated Stefan almost right away. The season that could’ve been, I tell you.

All the Abi Chaker Clan content reminds me of how I thought Jonas looked like, well, such a child, compared to Stefan, and I thought that was intentional. Like, here is Stefan with a Greenpeace job whereas Jonas doesn’t know what to do with his life, and he’s like, spray-painting abi chaker clan onto walls and posting pics to the abi chaker clan account. It’s not that I thought Jonas should’ve acted like a whole ass adult, of course he’s having fun with his high school friends, but I thought Jonas might feel inadequate in comparison to where Stefan is at this point of his life.

I can’t remember who revealed it, but Sara was supposed to end up with Toilet Sam and that was supposed to come out during the s3 finale (on that week, Sara posted a story with a guy whose face was obscured iirc). Since that was part of the clip where Hanna and Jonas also got back together, which they cut to make way for Hanna/Jonas/Stefan drama, Sara takes some other dude to the Abiball. And I think we’re supposed to think that’s the same dude she went on that date with.

[sidelineshooter]

I Traveled to China to Document the FIBA World Cup

This World Cup—my second—was one of great learning opportunities, class, and respect for the game and its legends. 32 national teams competed for medals in eight cities throughout China in 2019. I documented the action from Nanjing, Shanghai, and Beijing. 

I’ve been teaming up with FIBA since my friend Kevin Couliau introduced me to the 3X3 crew back in ~2011. Needless to say, I was excited when FIBA asked me to help them tell the story of their 2019 Basketball World Cup. 

This being my first trip to Asia, I was especially excited to learn about Chinese culture and explore the cities I was assigned to as much as I could in between games. 

It took me a few days to get over my jetlag and adjust to the 12-hour time difference after landing in Nanjing. My first task was to set up and shoot headshots for the four teams competing there for the first round games: Montenegro, New Zealand, Brazil, and Greece. 

The most anticipated game of the first round in Nanjing was Greece vs Brazil. Brazil overcame a double-digit deficit to win in the end, but how they nearly lost in the final seconds presented one of those moments that transcends the game. One of Brazil’s bright young players, Didi Louzada committed an ill-advised foul about 60+ feet away from the basket with just a few seconds remaining in the game that gave Greece an opportunity to tie the game. Greece missed a freethrow and fell short. 

What was beautiful about this wild conclusion to the game is that Louzada was devastated—understandably—and tried to run off the court immediately following the game, skipping the team celebration of the big win. Veterans Alex Garcia and Leandro Barbosa—who have competed in five World Cups for Brazil together—called him back on the court to console him. They then thrust him in the middle of the team huddle and cheered for him jubilantly. This moment was incredibly moving for me to witness and capture. It speaks volumes to the culture of the team and was a major learning opportunity for Louzada and the team. 

With my day off in Nanjing I decided to tour the third largest city in China (fun fact: over 30 million people live in the greater metropolitan Nanjing area—That’s almost 4 times the size of my hometown of NYC). Naturally I landed at a park and before long I heard that all-too-familiar sound of pick-up games taking place. I snapped a few pics before I called for next through gestures. We played halfcourt games of 4-on-4 to five points. Although we could not communicate verbally, it was clear that basketball is a universal language. I picked up on the house rules pretty quickly and the guys were competitive yet welcoming. It was an experience I will never forget. The guys were very welcoming to me and my friend William who joined me for this adventure. In case you’re wondering, after a slow start we ended on a 3-game win streak before leaving the park.

It was especially great to see Frank Ntilikina, who I worked with at the Knicks last season, representing France as they came to Nanjing for the second round. The smile on his face when he received his first bronze medal was priceless. It feels great to see people I get work with and be around thriving. 

Stephon Marbury, Tony Parker, Manu Ginobili, Dirk Nowitzki, Kobe Bryant and Yao Ming all attended at least some games throughout the tournament. It was moving to witness the love they all received not only from the fans but also from the players and coaches, some of them former teammates or opponents. 

One of the most amazing moments was following the semi-final matchup between France and Argentina. Immediately following his 28 points and 13 rebounds and securing the victory and, ultimately, the silver medal, 39-year-old Luis Scola ran over to the stands and awaited his family to come down to give them all hugs and kisses. Knowing your “why” is so important and family is as good as it gets. I had goosebumps as I clicked the shutter for this moment. 

The tournament in general was very emotional.  From Puerto Rico battling Iran to the final second on the opening night (I wasn’t there for that one, but I did see it live on tv) to Turkey coming within a few free throws of stealing one away from team USA (also saw this one on tv) to France defeating Lithuania in a thriller all the way to Argentina meeting Spain in the title game. Fans from different countries traveled across the globe to support their national teams. Lithuania had a particularly energetic crowd as did Argentina, Spain, Greece, Poland, and of course the host country, China. Security guards in Nanjing would huddle around the television near the entrance tot he arena and you could hear the echoes of their cheers for China throughout the halls. The passion for the game was palpable throughout. 

Finally after Spain was crowned the world champions and the all tournament team was introduced, Ricky Rubio and Marc Gasol of Spain, both all-stars, put their hardware aside to applaud the legend Luis Scola whose overall performance in this World Cup was nothing short of extraordinary. It was a class act and a genuine display of mutual respect at the highest level. 

I learned a ton in China. I pushed my memory cards, hard drives, cameras, and computer to their limits. I shared the sidelines with some of the greatest basketball photographers on earth and I did not take a single moment of it all for granted. It still amazes me that a basketball and a camera have provided me with opportunities of a lifetime to see the world and document its biggest stars. 

I hope you enjoy these images. Thanks for reading to the end! 

[spectaculardistractions]

To Ricardo Urgoiti Hollywood, 23 June 1946 Dear Ricardo, I was delighted to get your letter yesterday, although not surprised because my mother had mentioned you were on your way over to this atomic country. I’m intrigued to hear you’re living in Rye and curious to know why you’ve come over. I am also, of course, FURIOUSLY keen to talk to you. We have so many things to discuss! But if you can’t get over here, it will be difficult to fulfil this wish. You know you’re welcome to come and stay here and if you were to come, you would have no living costs, because we can provide a room and a slice of the flavourless bread they make over here. I’ve just got back from a month and a half in Mexico. A successful trip. I’ve taken on a film I’m working on now, with… brace yourself, Negrete, and I’ve also signed up to go to France in November to make a French version of La casa de Bernarda Alba with Synops studios. What are your plans? To go back to Spain? Are you still working in film and radio? I’ve not given up all hope of working with you again, although I don’t know when or where. I have very fond memories of our ‘Filmophonic’ days. Although there is a crisis in film production in Mexico at the moment, I still think you would do very well here. There is a really positive atmosphere and a real desire to produce great work. But as I don’t yet know your plans or why you are here, it may be pointless for me to go on about possibilities for you over there. I’ve discussed you a lot with Carlos Castillo. He is one of your true friends, you can count on him for anything. When he heard you were coming to America, he got very excited about the possibility you might come to Mexico. Idem Ana María Custodio, who is as charming as ever. I had legal documents drawn up in Mexico to allow my brother Alfonso to collect those Filmófono pesetas, should they ever come through. I’d be very grateful to hear your views on this if only briefly. It would be really useful if I could transfer part of that debt over here because, although the work proposals are good, I don’t have a cent in reserve. What are your thoughts on the immediate future for Spain? This question alone we could discuss for hours. I know it’s delicate, especially for you, to comment in a letter. But you could sum up your views in a single sentence without compromising yourself too much, for example: ‘I think you will soon be over there producing films with me’ or, on the contrary, ‘Unless it’s in China, Luis, I don’t see us working together again, not in Spain at least.’ In short, tell me something, even if it’s in Sibylline code. I have no great hopes of returning to Spain any time soon, which is why I’m looking for new avenues in Latin America and France. I’ve changed somewhat in some ways. I’ve removed myself from all political activity, although I’m still true to my old beliefs. I despise the world and this technological society I live in and have a morbid tendency to take refuge in the past. As a last resort, although without much faith in it, I cling to cinema to avoid slipping too deeply into a life of contemplation. Now more than ever I want to do interesting things and take on new adventures like this film with Jorge Negrete, this time in order to succeed at them though, rather than to mock them as I used to from my ivory tower. I hope, Ricardo, that you will write back, if only telegraphically, that is, very briefly, about the various topics in this letter. I am most interested in your plans and whether there is any chance I might interpolate myself among them. My warmest regards, Luis PS I’ll be back in Mexico from the second half of July to October. Then to France. And then back to America again. Although, of course, Buñuel proposes and destiny disposes…

Jo Evans & Breixo Viejo, Luis Buñuel: A Life in Letters

[tkmedia]

Have ‘morally reprehensible’ Italy peaked too early?

Get your views on Italy and much more in to theeditor@football365.com… Italy v Belgium I enjoyed both games of football last night but in particularly the Italy v Belgium game with so much attacking intent on both sides. What I do not understand is how Italy get away with so much, I guess I would call it cheating. It gets called gamesmanship or the dark arts but it amounts to the same thing. It was highlighted perfectly by the BBC commentators at half time and full time in relation to Immobile where, as ex-pros, they were all laughing and joking about his antics. Would this be the reaction if the game was against England? I suspect not. Many years ago, John Nicholson wrote an excellent article about a mate of his (probably a bass player or a drummer) who got away with things because of who he was and John likened this to Italian Football and the then Italian president Berlusconi. By John’s reasoning, Italy and their president got away with things that other countries/presidents couldn’t because it was expected of them. This still seems to be the case and they have almost become a parody of themselves. I have no affiliation with Spain but I do hope that they get past this highly skilful but morally reprehensible Italian team. Gwarrior (LCFC) Italy peaking Anything can happen in the semi against Spain, and I’m sure the best team will win, but is there anybody out there who still thinks Italy peaked too early? Dario (gutted for Spinazzola, he’s been immense) Club team Italy play like a really well drilled club team despite playing a very different game to the Italy I’ve always known (apart from excellent game management/dark arts). How does an international team do that? Aidan, Lfc (Based on my 1 game experience of watching Doku, and limited football knowledge, I confidently suggest Liverpool should sign him) Quick Euro thoughts… – Spain’s Pedri is an absolute talent, could easily see him becoming the talisman of Barcelona once Lionel Messi does leave – Switzerland did themselves proud and a few of their team put themselves forward for a potential summer move, Yan Sommer anyone? – Italy could just win this whole thing, really impressive blend of old style Italy and new style – Ciro Immobile with the finest acting since Luis Suarez against Norwich – Is Roberto Martinez actually a good manager because I just can’t tell – Jeremy Doku is going to be yet another player Rennes make an insane profit on in a short space of time Mikey, CFC Chip on England’s shoulder… I used to wonder why so many people dislike England during International tournaments. I now understand because I’ve joined the queue. It’s so frustrating and annoying to hear the English media seemingly proclaim England the best team in the world because of one victory…ONE VICTORY…against a team you all claimed were no longer the force they use to be. Suddenly, every other team has a deficit and only England is going from strength to strength… Really?…REALLY!!! The worst thing is you have been playing the worst football this tournament has seen(Yes it’s the worst. If you have the best attack in the tournament like you claim, you shouldn’t be parking your team’s aeroplane on the pitch). Nelson (I can’t wait for Ukraine to give you guys a thorough trashing so things can go back to normal.) Lagos. KDB When the pressure is on in the biggest games, the great players stand up and make a difference. Not for the first time, Kevin De Bruyne was nowhere to be seen when playing on the big stage. Jamie, Eire

Dropping Sterling… First off, let me begin by saying I am not a fan of Raheem Sterling. He wouldn’t be on my fantasy team and I can’t understand why Southgate likes him so much. However, he is the leading goal scorer for England in the tournament and seems to be on a hot patch. How does dropping him make any sense? What other team would drop their leading goal scorer going into an important game? I would drop Kane, who let’s be honest has been woeful. Was not his goal also a tap-in? Yet the bias media celebrated the goal like it was some magical work of art. For Spurs yes he is magic, for England he has been below par. This same media is debating whether to start Grealish, he is England’s best player. He changed the last game as soon as he came on. I do think England will have enough for Ukraine, but Denmark will be a tough battle and could be the end of the road for England. Christian Gooner – Toronto Sterling right of reply… Enjoyed the replies to my Sterling email, less so the comments baselessly calling me part of the ‘Brexit/boo the knee crew’ and suggesting my analysis of some relative weaknesses of a footballer is based on ‘hatred’ – inaccurate, weird and offensive, ‘Luxongo’ et al. Sterling is a very impressive man on and off the pitch and has suffered deplorable abuse of all kinds – but it doesn’t make him (or anyone else) above fair criticism of his standard of play, nor does it mean anyone criticising his play should be associated with that abuse. Still, it’s useful to know how people must feel when they are ‘no-platformed’. Anyway – some perfectly reasonable opposing opinions (and it’s ok to disagree – I think?), but I have to take issue with Rob saying ‘ You simply cannot choose “whatabouts” over “reality”’. It seems he’s essentially saying that if you win, no one should ask: ‘what if we changed this, would we be better?’. A main point of my email was that if you rest on your laurels and don’t go through that exercise, eventually you are likely to come unstuck, just as we did in 2018. If you go through it and the answer is ‘no, we’d be no better’ then fine, but don’t stick your fingers in your ears and sing la-la-la at the process. I like John G’s comparison to Linker and Greaves because Sterling has obviously done well to be in a position to score his goals. There’s plenty of merit in that view if the idea is that Sterling and Kane are an old fashioned front two with Sterling as the poacher, but is that really the way people think we’re playing and the main role people expect Sterling to play? The other problem is that in 1990 Lineker played in an XI with Beardsley, Waddle, Platt and Gascoigne. Not quite the seven defensive players we deployed in the last 16. If it wasn’t already a long email, I would have said yesterday that I’m more (but not completely) in favour of playing Sterling if we revert to an attacking four for the rest of the tournament, but in a 5-2-3 there is pressure on Sterling to create and, as Derek points out, we create a ‘paucity’ of chances with him as one of our attackers, with a number of promising scenarios breaking down as a result of his decision making and/or poor touch (something that’s pretty hard to prove or disprove with stats). Anyway, assuming Southgate persists with Sterling, obviously I hope I am proved wrong – it’s just that there’s a difference between what I hope and what I think. Shappo The real ambition in the tournament With the hands of time ticking inevitably towards another great sadly leaving the game, it’s clear that one man at the Euros is seizing the world stage to show that he’s ready to take over. In a match filled with stars, only one has stepped up to make it about them. No hesitation, confidence in spades – he’s stolen the show. Michael Oliver is clearly the next Mike Dean. Ryan, Bermuda (a normal human being would err on the side of a yellow and go to VAR, but never Oliver or the great Deano. Own those game-ruining mistakes I say!) Time for a Sin Bin? Football is an evolving sport. VAR is becoming less intrusive as we get used to it. But for me it is the acceptance of constant fouls that now needs addressed. Trips, pushes, niggles that stop the game and often stop real attacking opportunities, but are not bookable until about ten have been let go. So time for a 10 minute sin bin. A punishment that will impact on the game, give the perps a real disadvantage, and stop them doing it. The evidence is there from rugby. The ref warns then bins. It would make football a better game. Tim Haaland dreams… Imagine this: Haaland stays put in Dortmund this season.  His goals output next season drops with Sancho’s departure. (Haaland’s father reportedly went “F**k…” upon hearing confirmation of Sancho’s transfer to Man U”.) Man U goes on a deeper run in CL say semi-finals… What are chances Haaland joins Man U next summer -to re-unite with the man that assisted the most for his goals, and with the man who coached him in the youth ranks?  Many ifs, but one can dream… Lionel, Singapore Salzburg is in Germany? Hi there, I’m not taking issue with Lee’s general point about the BuLi being a less physical league , but Takumi Minamino signed for Liverpool from Austrian side Red Bull Salzburg. Austria hasn’t been a part of Germany since, well, some unpleasantness that is rarely discussed in the British tabloids, and certainly hasn’t been mentioned at all recently… Dara O’Reilly, London Souey Anyone who doesn’t have a man crush on Graeme Souness is made of stone. BB Read the full article

[grahamstoney]

Musique Concrète and Other Experimental And Electronic Music

New Post has been published on https://grahamstoney.com/music/musique-concrete-and-other-experimental-and-electronic-music

Musique Concrète and Other Experimental And Electronic Music

In the subject Creative Music Technology at university last semester, I was asked to listen to a collection of experimental and electronic music to stimulate my creative imagination, and to write what I liked and didn't like about it. Here's my rather cynical take on the genre.

Musique Concrète

Pierre Schaeffer and Pierre Henry – Symphonie pour un Homme Seul

This piece reminded me of Strauss’s Symphonia Domestica; only less musical. I’m a Homme Seul (single man) and my life doesn’t sound anything like this. In his book La musique concrète, Schaeffer described the work as “an opera for blind people…”. Haven’t they suffered enough?

Edgard Varèse – Poème Électronique

The audio equivalent of Luis Bunuel & Salvador Dali’s Un Chien Andalou.

Does to my ears what the asbestos coating on the walls of the Philips Pavilion at the 1958 Brussels World’s Fair for which it was commissioned, would do to my lungs.

György Ligeti – Artikulation

George Lucas must owe Ligeti millions in royalties for R2D2’s sound effects. Initially I thought I was joking when I first wrote that, but I’ve since discovered that he was actually trying to create a sort of phonetic speech in electronic music, which pretty much fits R2D2’s dialogue. Plus, the title is German for “articulation”. That should have been a giveaway.

I thought this piece might make more sense to me if I played it backwards, so I dropped it into Logic Pro X and reversed it. I couldn’t tell the difference. Perhaps I would have enjoyed it more if I listened to it in the original quadraphonic. I’ll just end noting that Ligeti abandoned electronic music after composing this piece.

Iannis Xenakis – Concret PH

2 minutes and 44 seconds of breaking glass to my ears. I think I’d rather listen to Kraftwerk.

Karlheinz Stockhausen – Kontakte

It’s long. It’s too long. I think this is how Jacob Collier learned to play piano in his mother’s womb; but look at him now. The title is German for “Contacts”, which I think Stockhausen interpreted as “Just hit the things.” Maybe it sounds better in the original quadraphonic.

Stockhausen was evidently a pioneer of the extended dance remix, as the work exists in several versions: “Nr. 12”, “Nr. 12½” and “Nr. 12⅔”

Bernard Parmegiani - Accidents / harmoniques

Parmegiani had studied mime before turning his hand to electro-acoustic composition, and in this piece it really shows. From the album De Natura Sonorum (the nature of sound). I felt like there were Martians in my head listening to this. Surely he’s just playing a joke on us.

Pauline Oliveiros – Bye Bye Butterfly

Bids farewell to the institutionalized oppression of the female sex while also providing inspiration for the sound of the Theramin. Gave my new monitor speakers a good workout; I hope the neighbours enjoyed it too.

Tape Loops

Steve Reich – It’s Gonna Rain

I’ve got this pervasive feeling that it’s going to rain. I’m not sure why. I liked the way the meteorological message panned left and right. More like It’s Gonna Have An Acid Trip.

Halleluiah Part II is over. I’m not sure how I lasted the full 18 minutes.

Terry Riley – Mescalin Mix

Parts of this sounded to me like an industrial version of native Australian bush sounds. I felt like I was on a camping trip in the 23rd century.

Brian Eno – 1/1

From his album Music For Airports/Ambient 1, which apparently coined the term Ambient Music. Brian Eno has a lot to answer for. However, this track put me in a relaxing state, ready to fall asleep on the plane; so I liked it.

Sampling

Luc Ferrari – Ronda, Spain, June 2001

After being jolted awake by the sound of a loud sliding door opening to greet the day, I was drawn into this by the sweet sound of a French woman’s voice. I imagined she was Ferrari’s lover, speaking to him in bed after awakening on a warm Spanish summer Sunday morning. I wanted to know what she was saying, but my French isn’t good enough. In my mind’s eye, they head to a busy market together to buy some croissants for breakfast, where we hear a man’s voice repeating “numero quatro”, which I assumed is Spanish for “number 4”. As the voices fade, the sound becomes more musical and we return to the soft sound of Ronda speaking to her beloved back in their villa together. I quite liked it.

My interpretation, however, is not what the composer had in mind. According to him, the point of Les Anecdotiques (The Anecdotals) is to dispense with the story altogether. My busy market was, in fact, the sound of Spanish tourists in a museum. While he describes the woman’s words as “Spontaneous and intimate”, in this context they are simply words in a foreign language with no narrative purpose. Just another one of Pierre Schaeffer and Michel Chion’s sound objects, if you will. My narrative interpretation of what was intended as an explicitly anecdotal work is testament to the human brain’s tendency to make meaning out of nothing. It turns out Rhonda is a village in Spain, not a woman.

Still, I enjoyed my little fantasy, thank you Luc.

John Oswald – Manifold

Wow, this was short. I didn’t even have time to eat breakfast while listening to it. It was only about as long as the Spotify ads, but certainly more fun. I recognised a couple of songs, like U2’s With or Without You and Sinead O’Connor’s Nothing Compares To You. Artists who use samples liberally often sample obscure works, sometimes affording them attention they would otherwise have missed; but in this work Oswald went mainstream. It sounded to me like the soundtrack to a sample-abusing hip-hop artist from the 1990’s being beaten up in a boxing ring by all the artists who reckoned he’d ripped off their work.

Tod Dockstader - Water Music: Part III

I quite liked this piece. The cuteness of the sounds and the stereo effects bouncing between the left and right channels really drew me in. I’ve recently got myself some decent monitor speakers for my home studio and this piece really worked on them. Pretty amazing for something released in 1963.

Dockstader started out in the 1940’s, prior to the invention of magnetic tape, editing his steel wire recordings with a lit cigarette. That makes me realise how much I take the piece-of-crap Logic Pro X File Editor for granted. Listening to this, I found myself wanting to know what was going to happen next, like I was watching a soap opera on TV; only with no actual story.

Synthesis

Karlheinz Stockhausen – Studie I

I found this quite disorienting to listen to. I guess it was revolutionary in 1953 but I reckon now you could whip it up in Ableton in about 5 minutes using the Random MIDI Effect and some automation.

Eliane Radigue – Jetsun Mila (Pt.1) / Birth and Youth (Excerpt)

I liked how the pulsing ambient drone sound in this grew over time; it drew me in and had me wondering what was going to happen next. Unfortunately the answer was: not much. Gradually a rhythmic element with some high pulsing tones which grew over time came in. It was a bit like listening to a very slow EDM dance track from underwater in a diesel-powered submarine going at full throttle for 12 minutes.

Laurie Spiegel – Appalachian Grove: I

I liked the pulsing stereo effects in this piece and the way the tonal characteristics of the sound varied while the pitch changed. It’s much more melodic than the other tracks we’ve listened to and that made it more enjoyable to my ears. It got a bit harsh in the middle though. This piece puts the musique in musique concrète.

Morton Subotnick – Silver Apples of the Moon – Part A

Perhaps the sound designer for Star Wars had this in mind when creating the sound effects for R2D2. I kind of lost the flow of the conversation without the witty English-accented retorts from C3PO though. Morton Sobotnick is described as The Mad Scientist in one interview, and I think if I listen to this too often I’ll end up fitting one of the DSM-5 diagnostic categories I’m learning about over in PSYC1002.

Suzanne Ciani – Concert at Phil Niblock’s Loft

This piece had some funky sounds that I liked. The start reminded me a bit of Kraftwerk but without the rhythm and melody; although it did get more melodic later. I’d probably give it a Distinction for its use of technology given it was made in 1975, but only a Credit for musicality.

Barry Schraeder – Lost Atlantis: Introduction

At first, I thought this sounded a lot like a modern ad for KFC; then I realised I was hearing a Spotify ad.

I liked the ambient sounds in this piece and the way it surged in and out with its “mysterious tone colors”. It slowly builds to a crescendo until we get the drop that EDM lovers crave, and then built more quickly to the ultimate drop at the end. I kept wondering what was going to happen next; I’d still rather listen to Fleetwood Mac, Supertramp or Queen though.

Contemporary Examples

Amon Tobin – Foley Room

DJ & producer. Retain percussive quality through sounds. Horsefish & Esther’s. Create beauty and delicate textures from sounds. Pitched percussive material. Fast loops. New textures. Funky beats. Check out the Foley Room Documentary.

Aphex Twin - 1ST 44

Acid house DJ in rave scene. Intelligent Dance Music. More complex sampling, polyrhythms, rhythmic patterns. From Collapsed album. Polyrhythms sounded funky. Lots of variation.

Holly Herndon – Chorus

Intersection of humanity and technology. Recorded web browsing. Stereo ping-pong effects. Here’s a talk she gave about her creative process.

Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith – Riparian

This was my favourite out of these three, largely because it sounds the most musical to my ears. I liked the pulsing beat in this track. I can hear a bass line for instance, melodies played on the synth and lyrics, although I can’t tell what they are saying. I also like the way the soundscape swirls around when listened to with headphones. It feels ambient, immersive and musical all at the same time. I get the sense that she’s using the electronics at her disposal in service of the music rather than the other way around. There’s even a great video about how she uses modular synthesis.

Graham Stoney - Foster le Concrète

"How hard can it be?", I asked myself. And since I had an assignment to do, I wrote my own musique concrète track based on the drum rhythm from one of my favourite songs, Coming of Age by Foster The People. I even made a breakdown video showing how I did it; because that's what the assignment required.

Conclusion

I didn’t take too easily to some of the more experimental musique concrète pieces we studied at the beginning of this semester. The weekly listening tasks felt harsh to my untrained ears and I would think mean things like:

“Didn’t the Geneva Convention ban cruel and unusual punishment?”

Perhaps these tracks will never be my preferred go-to pieces for chilling out on a Friday night, but when I look back at some of my cynicism-laced early comments in these discussion threads, I cringe. I just didn’t appreciate the historical significance of these pieces and how they might have influenced later electronic music that I do enjoy, like Kraftwerk say.

Then in Angharad Davis’s Music Colloquium Series talk on George Antheil’s Ballet Mécanique, when she played a snippet of the work I heard sounds reminiscent of musique concrète. Sure enough, they were roughly contemporaneous, and Antheil had been living in Paris at the time musique concrète was just getting started. You never know when something you study in one arena will pop up elsewhere.

Another thing I’ve learned in this subject is about taking creative risks and learning to follow my gut instincts without worrying whether a concept will work, or other people will like it. This has been an opportunity for me to explore that. My Formative Skills Assignment piece Foster le Concrète was in part a reaction to my frustration at the lack of discernible rhythm in some of the early pieces we studied. However, I really didn’t know whether the concept was going to work, and that was a little anxiety-inducing; especially given that I was doing it for an assignment which would be graded. I was quite touched to hear other students say they liked the end result, and I feel more confident about following my gut instincts in future and seeing what I end up.

Finally, I’ve been really inspired by the creativity of the other students in this subject. It’s been a weird experience studying online this year without ever meeting them in person, but I’ve really enjoyed hearing the creative works everyone came up with. They’re all so distinctive and amazingly different, it’s incredible; yet they were all products of the same brief. I can’t wait to hear everyone's works on the radio, TV, movies, video games, Spotify, or whatever audio technology is around when we all graduate: live streaming direct to our neurons perhaps?

[gadgetsrevv]

Neymar to Barcelona: Inside story of PSG striker’s summer transfer saga

Neymar became the most expensive footballer in history when he joined PSG for £200m in August 2017

After months of talk, bluster, posturing, claim and counter-claim we have – for the time being – reached the end of the road. Neymar will be staying at Paris St-Germain.

As the dust settles it is worth noting that the person least surprised by this is the PSG forward himself who, despite pushing for a move for months, feared from day one this summer that this was a deal always destined to fail.

The minimum requirement for the successful outcome of any sales transaction – be it for a yard of elastic or a billionaire footballer with talent to burn – is either a willing buyer or an enthusiastic seller, or preferably both.

On this occasion, however, Barcelona felt the French champions never wanted to sell and PSG always thought the Spanish giants never wanted to buy.

This was the mutual mistrust that underscored the negotiations from the start. Even by the convoluted, conspiratorial and brain-achingly complex minefield that is football transfer negotiations, this was always going to be a uniquely unwieldy deal to bring to a conclusion.

So, how did we get here?

In April, the 27-year-old Brazilian – who moved to France from Barcelona for a world record £200m in August 2017 – started talks to renew his PSG contract.

Unfortunately, there were a number of small “issues” making him unhappy: promises PSG were not fulfilling, boos from some of the fans, a spat with fellow forward Edinson Cavani as to who should take penalties, internal divisions within the camp, a sense the Ultra fans were keener on Cavani than him; and the feeling he was not being given sufficient protection by referees.

In January, three fouls in quick succession by Strasbourg’s Anthony Goncalves – all of which merited a yellow card, none of which received one – left Neymar with the foot injury that kept him out for 18 games. He was not impressed.

The injury sustained against Strasbourg in January kept the Brazilian out until April and meant he played no part in his side’s Champions League campaign in the knockout stages

Despite boasting one of the world’s strongest squads, some players exist in a gilded cage at PSG, and a lack of competition in a weak French Ligue 1 created a bickering, febrile atmosphere within the camp.

Neymar loves Paris – who wouldn’t? – and was negotiating a new contract despite his misgivings and despite flirting for a while with a return to the Nou Camp. But then something happened soon after Barcelona lost to Liverpool in the Champions League semi-finals in May.

The captains of Barcelona – Lionel Messi, Gerard Pique, Sergio Busquets, Sergi Roberto and Luis Suarez – had been told by president Josep Maria Bartomeu that not only would the club try to get Neymar, but also that he was confident the player would come back.

Neymar was told by players he communicates with regularly (Messi, Pique and Suarez) that the deal would happen and that he was needed if Barcelona were to regain the Champions League. It got under the Brazilian’s skin, not least because he was never totally convinced by his decision to leave the Nou Camp in the first place.

Messi, 32, also suggested – given his own age – Neymar could probably become the centre of the Barcelona universe in a couple of years.

And so it began.

At this point, senior Barcelona players were told the club had not signed forward Antoine Griezmann from Atletico Madrid – but their La Liga rivals had publicly said they had seen documents confirming the deal was agreed back in March.

The problem was that everyone in Neymar’s camp thought Barcelona didn’t have the money – especially if, as they suspected, Griezmann was a done deal.

Barca had to take out a six-month unsecured loan for 35m euros (£31.6m) from banks to bring in the France international, so one can only imagine the financial ramifications the purchase of Neymar would have had for the club.

Meanwhile, PSG sporting director Leonardo, who returned to the club in June, muddied the waters with dismissive comments about the Brazilian in front of everyone else, to the point where Neymar stopped talking to him.

Leonardo realised too late he had crossed the line and backtracked by singing the player’s praises and starting the strategy of confusion he has used over the past four months.

From the start, Barcelona felt the PSG official was saying one thing to them and the player while simultaneously following instructions from the French club’s owners that Neymar should not be allowed to leave under any circumstances.

With no written offer from Barcelona forthcoming, it dawned on Neymar that the move was perhaps not going to happen, so he met club officials a few days before the first game of the season and agreed to play. The day before the match, Leonardo asked him to issue a statement that he no longer wanted to leave. Neymar baulked at the idea, telling PSG that he was ready to play but wasn’t about to start making public statements.

That is not surprising. Messages were seeping out of Barcelona from his former team-mates telling him to hang on in there because it was going to happen.

In fact, Barcelona wanted to demonstrate to everyone just how committed they were to doing the deal. The Catalan club insist the leaking of details of a trip to Paris of their decision makers (but not Bartomeu) eight days ago was not of their doing – but it did not damage them because it showed them trying hard.

The bottom line was this: if Barcelona wanted Neymar it was going to cost them 215m euros (£194m). The Spanish club told PSG that players would have to be included.

Eventually, on 27 August, Barcelona submitted the only written offer they ever made – 115m euros (£107m) in cash, 15m euros (£13.5m) in bonuses and three players.

PSG decided they had to be defender Jean-Clair Todibo, midfielder Ivan Rakitic (and both reluctantly agreed to move), plus forward Ousmane Dembele on loan, although the latter swiftly said: “Non merci.”

France international Dembele was never going to move. At one point, intermediaries thought they might be able to change his mind, and the player spoke to PSG boss Thomas Tuchel on four occasions, but the French club never really forced the issue with the 22-year-old or attempted to discuss terms – which again suggested to Barcelona that they weren’t that interested in doing the deal.

Nonetheless, talks continued. PSG began to um and ah about the make-up of the 15m euros in add-ons – but then, when that was agreed, they said they wanted 150m euros (£135m) up front rather than 130m euros plus bonuses.

Neymar’s reaction in a letter to the club was: no problem. The Brazilian was willing to cover the shortfall in five payments of 4m euros. However, a few minutes after his message arrived, PSG told him the French Football Federation did not allow players to make such payments.

In the meantime, Real Madrid – who in the end said they weren’t really that interested – had stuck their heads above the parapet and made an offer of £100m euros plus Gareth Bale, James Rodriguez and Keylor Navas. A look at Bale’s salary was enough to put an end to that idea, and the Wales forward was not going to move anyway. In truth, PSG always felt Real wanted to get Neymar on the cheap while getting rid of some of their own squad, and also give their fans that feeling of schadenfreude that comes when you get one over one of your main rivals.

Italian champions Juventus also entered the fray, offering 100m euros and forward Paulo Dybala – a bid that was also rejected by PSG.

No Premier League club made an approach, although Manchester United had asked about the player when he was at Barcelona with a buyout clause of 190m euros (£172m). Neymar decided against the move.

In the end, “Spain” was the answer Neymar gave when asked where he wanted to go, suggesting he wouldn’t have minded going to either of the La Liga giants. He wisely chose not to say Barcelona or nowhere, for the obvious reason that if the deal went wrong – as indeed it eventually did – he would end up looking silly.

Did Barcelona want Neymar enough? It is worth noting that when they needed to convince Frenkie de Jong to sign from Ajax, the Netherlands midfielder was visited by Bartomeu to complete the deal. At no point during the Neymar negotiations did Bartomeu meet PSG counterpart Nasser Al-Khelaifi, the player or his father. Furthermore, one of the original proposals from Barcelona (not in written form) was Philippe Coutinho plus a cash figure, which was immediately rejected by PSG for being “laughable”.

It felt like Barca were not putting all of their weight into the transfer.

In many ways it was a win-win situation for Bartomeu. It didn’t happen, so he can now shrug his shoulders and say “look, we tried”, plus those who did not want the return of a player who has taken the club to court on two occasions are kept happy.

Had it happened, despite the crippling financial burden for a club already estimated to be 600m euros (£543m) in debt, Barcelona thought they might have found a way around it. If they really wanted Neymar to return that is.

As well as needing to do a lot of financial engineering to make it happen – including getting rid of two of their biggest earners – the wage structure at the Nou Camp would have been a potential headache, because Barcelona are at the very limit. No-one knew for sure whether La Liga would have sanctioned Neymar’s signing, given the limits of financial fair play regulations.

Negotiations were always going to be complicated by there being no buyout clauses in France. Interestingly, though, next year Neymar will have been at PSG for three seasons and, according to Fifa regulations, can buy himself out of his contract after a fee is decided by a tribunal.

If things don’t go well for Neymar, that could well be the next step. However, it’s not all doom and gloom because he does a least enjoy a productive and respectful relationship with PSG boss Tuchel, and that will resume now everything has been settled.

How the various Barcelona players involved now react remains to be seen.

Will Dembele be cast as the scapegoat for refusing to facilitate the move? How will those effectively told by the club they were no longer required feel about staying? How will the players who thought Neymar would be alongside them to strengthen them feel about his non-arrival? Will Barcelona return at a later date – this time with all seriousness – for the Brazilian?

Time will tell.

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[njawaidofficial]

90 Day Fiance Spoilers: Who's Returning in 2018?

https://styleveryday.com/2018/02/03/90-day-fiance-spoilers-whos-returning-in-2018/

90 Day Fiance Spoilers: Who's Returning in 2018?

It’s a brand new year, and that means brand new seasons of 90 Day Fiance and its various spin-offs.

But which couples will be returning to film? Which fan-favorite couples will be saying farewell to the cameras — or each other — in 2018?

To our delight, TLC has announced that they’re bringing back not only 90 Day Fiance, but all three spin-off series.

That means that viewers will be getting:

–90 Day Fiance

–90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After?

–90 Day Fiance: What Now?

–90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days

It’s a coup for fans of the franchise. It also means that some folks’ DVRs are going to be overflowing. That’s life.

But … which couples will be returning?

Let’s start with a couple that seems very, very unlikely to reprise their roles on 90 Day Fiance.

Luis and Molly.

Luis is Dominican, Molly is from the US. Molly is a bit older and Luis and has a spotty driving record, and was nervous to see how the much-younger Luis would do as a potential stepfather for her daughters.

They did get married. However … we don’t even need to wait for cameras to know if they lived happily ever after.

Right at the beginning of the year, they broke up. Molly is divorcing him, and Luis has threatened to sue TLC after claiming that they refuse to pay “trash” immigrants (how he believes that the network views non-Americans).

Paul and Karine are a couple that has the interest of a lot of viewers.

Karine is younger, Paul has a shady past (he’s violated a protective order and been convicted of arson; he’ll be on probation until 2020).

Also, there was that time that Paul put a protective “sheath” on his penis that totally wasn’t a condom before swimming in the water, because he’s apparently that terrified of a candiru asu lodging itself in his urethra.

Good news for fans who are invested in this awkward couple — Starcasm reports that Paul and Karine will almost certainly appear more.

The only question is which show. Will Karine begin her K-1 visa process at last?

Moving on:

As we previously told you, Josh and Aika got married.

It looks like these two didn’t hook the right interest level for 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After? Not everyone does, and that’s okay.

Josh shared some pretty clear evidence that he and Aika are filming for 90 Day Fiance: What Now?

Nicole and Azan seemed on the rocks as Azan ghosted Nicole during the Tell All special.

Things seem to be okay-ish between Nicole and Azan, but the two aren’t yet married.

Will they do yet another trip to Morocco? As Starcasm has observed, that would only be worthwhile if it’s for a Moroccan wedding.

Nicole does seem to be filming more, but we don’t know the details behind that.

Now, for another couple:

Starcasm‘s sources say that Cortney and Antonio have continued to film.

That’s a little surprising, since the tension between the two of them has not been the most positive.

Remember when Cortney arrived in Spain and promptly followed Antonio to … sit separately from him from a couple of hours while he ogled attractive women? Yeah. That sort of set the tone for their relationship.

So it may bet hat Cortney and Antonio are filming separately.

Jesse and Darcey are one of 90 Day Fiance‘s most captivating couples, and they’re yet another pairing of an older American woman with a young, ludicrously handsome foreign man.

(Let’s just say that this dynamic really appeals to part of 90 Day Fiance‘s demographic)

Now, Jesse and Darcey are not married just yet. But thanks to their appeal as a couple and their dramatic squabbles on social media, they’re a powerful draw for audiences.

They seem to still be filming, but it’s not clear for which series.

Then there’s Elizabeth and Andrei.

You might remember Andrei as the somewhat scary alpha male dude with “traditional” views on “a woman’s place.”

Elizabeth Potthast posted a now-deleted photo of a cameraman, so it seems that these two are filming.

This past season’s primary villain was Evelyn, no question. She managed to get under everyone’s skin in the worst way.

Except for David, we suppose. But since David and Evelyn may have started flirting when Evelyn was only 15, he has a lot invested in this creepy relationship.

Evelyn is trying to launch a music career, so her thirst for fame may take priority over the animosity that the audience feels towards her.

Then there’s David and Annie; Starcasm confirms that they will be on 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After?

David’s storyline, involving his son’s shooting accident, will likely have a compelling part to play.

Finally, some oldies but goodies.

Anfisa and Jorge may or may not still be together, but there are indications that the polarizing couple will make a return.

If so, that would explain why Anfisa seems so reluctant to confirm or deny their relationship, and instead teases followers with vague statements.

And while there’s no sign of Mohamed Jbali filming with any camera that he’s not holding in his hand — remember, he’s working in Dallas, Texas these days — apparently Danielle Mullins is filming.

If you’ll recall, Danielle Mullins is not getting a makeover show after she was accused of unstable behavior. 

Whatever alleged personality issues she may have, apparently TLC has no problem continuing to work with her.

It would be a pleasant surprise to see Mohamed, as the two are much more interesting when their storylines align. That may take place in the form of their court battle with each other.

So far, no word on Paola Mayfield and Russ, but we’ll keep our fingers crossed.

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[geddy-leesbian]

anyway the mold baby conversation is fun bc luis is a dramatic dumbass about it and ethan is 100% certain luis is about to tell him he can't find a cure and he has weeks to live

Man i need to figure out wtf is going on in this fic from like uhhh everything from chapter 1 until luis finally tells ethan theyre having a mold baby. loke i literally have nothing. Not even vague thoughts

[geddy-leesbian]

Rough draft of the Gaiden flavored Winterserra first meeting scene 🎉

Trips to the park are always a nice time. Luis plays with Lucia for a while, running around and pushing her on a swing, then he settles down on a bench with a book to read, leaving Lucia to play alone, occasionally looking up to check on her.

Today's park trip started off fine, but now Lucia is frantically barreling towards Luis, looking panicked.

“Papa, my ears are ringing,” Luis is instantly filled with dread. It's been almost a year since Lucia's ears rang, Luis thought nightmarish BOWs were a thing in their past. “Monsters. That guy on the other bench, his baby.”

Luis looks over towards the other bench, trying not to be obvious. His first thought is to dismiss Lucia's claim, because the man looks perfectly normal. Boring, even. He's attentively watching a toddler play in a sandbox, who looks just as normal.

But Lucia has never had a false positive. They tested her abilities rigorously in the Umbrella facility. Occasionally she failed to detect a BOW, but when she said there was one, there was. Even outside of controlled environments and in stressful situations, when they were aboard the Starlight and the submarine, her performance was flawless. When she told Luis something bad happened and there were zombies on the boat, she was right. Every time she said the tyrant was nearby, she was right. When she said that the “Leon” they found wasn't really him, instead the shape-shifting BOW taking on his appearance, she was right. Not a single false positive. If she thinks there's more to these two than meets the eye, Luis can't disagree.

“Don't worry about them, princess. I don't think they're a threat. You go back out and play and I'll try to talk to him a bit? Maybe they're just like you, nice humans with special powers from experiments, not really monsters.”

While Lucia still looks a bit nervous, she doesn't look as scared and runs back over to the playground equipment. Luis heads over to take the open spot on the other bench. His words had been something he pulled out of his ass to calm Lucia down, but he thinks they may have been more correct than he thought once he observes the stranger closer.

He tilts his head to glance at Luis quickly, then his gaze snaps back to the toddler. His eyes are glued to her. His body is tense, like he's ready to jump up and run to her at any moment. It's cute. It reminds Luis of how he was with Lucia when they first started settling into their new, Umbrella-less lives. He was downright paranoid, hovering over her and watching her like a hawk, convinced there was an Umbrella soldier lurking around every corner, ready to pounce and rip Lucia away from him. It seems like this man has the same fears.

“Hey, new face,” Luis eventually says. He's already satisfied that the man and his daughter aren't a threat, but he still wants to dig for more information, just out of curiosity. “I come here all the time and haven't seen you before, you must be new in town? Name's Luis Navarro, you are?”

“Ethan.”

“What brings you to the area?”

“It's…” Ethan doesn't look at Luis at all as he talks, he continues staring straight ahead at the little girl playing, presumably his daughter. There's some resemblance, she has his hair and maybe some of his facial features, though it's hard to tell at the toddler stage. Luis also notices him nervously rubbing at his bare ring finger with his other hand, touching where a wedding band may have sat at one point. Luis is a little surprised by his own internal response, excitement that Ethan is single. “It's just a long story. Complicated.”

“I get it, I'm from Spain. It's a very long story, how me and my daughter Lucia ended up here. How we ended up together at all really, she isn't my biological daughter, it's complicated,” Luis had hoped that voluntarily offering up pieces of his story, like his relation to Lucia, might inspire Ethan to open up about his story. But he says nothing, and Luis bites his tongue resisting the urge to directly ask Ethan about his story, knowing it's likely a sore subject. Though he also doesn't want to let the conversation die. “What do you do for a living?”

“I don't really have a job right now, but I was an engineer and I'll get back to it soon.”

“Or you can really have a fresh start here, in a new place, take on a new career, that's what I did. I'm a scientist. I used to be a researcher, now I'm just a biology teacher, it felt very freeing, the career change.”

Ethan doesn't say anything more, just continues watching the toddler silently.

“Hey,” Luis eventually says, still not willing to let the conversation die. “That's your daughter?”

“Yeah. Rosemary,” For the first time, Ethan actually smiles. “It's just me and her. It's not easy raising her alone, but she's my everything.”

“I get that too. It's just me and Lucia. She's the light of my life, I don't know what I'd do without her, but it's still hard sometimes. I'm sure it's even tougher in your shoes, having to take care of a baby yourself. So helpless and vulnerable, completely reliant on you. Lucia can still be clingy sometimes, but she's getting more independent.”

Luis's eyes drift from Ethan's smile down to his wrist, noticing an unusual scar wrapped all the way around his wrist. It almost looks like his hand came off and someone stitched it back on. Almost. Luis has experience with stitches. It's too sloppy, whoever did those stitches couldn't have been skilled and knowledgeable enough to reattach a completely severed hand without affecting its range of movement or nerves. Ethan doesn't seem to have any problem moving any of his fingers. It must have been a different, bizarre injury.

Of course the moment Ethan finally tilts his head to make eye contact with Luis would just so happen to be the moment Luis is rudely staring at his scar. Luis quickly looks back up, checking to see that Lucia is still playing, then looking at Rosemary, hoping Ethan won't notice Luis was staring at his scar.

“She looks just like you,” Luis says, hoping to distract Ethan with an unrelated question. “She take after you in other ways too?”

“No.” Ethan snaps, voice suddenly cold and harsh. “She's not like me.”

Finally accepting that he won't be getting much more out of this interaction, Luis tries to get up from the bench, but as soon as he stands up the man grabs his wrist and pulls, yanking Luis back down onto the bench, with enough force that it's a literal pain in his ass. Any lingering doubts about the accuracy of Lucia's ability is laid to rest; the man doesn't appear to be strong enough to pull Luis down as hard as he did, there's clearly an infection lending him strength.

“I don't know who the hell you are or what psycho group you're working for, and I don't care. My daughter is my daughter, she's not a weapon, or a lab rat,” Ethan is still holding onto Luis's wrist, squeezing hard enough to hurt. “She's a baby, not a tool to be used by anyone. I will never let another scientist get their hands on her. If you ever even lay a finger on her, you'll be a dead man.”

Luis suddenly feels a lot less alone in the universe. One of the hardest things about raising Lucia is just how isolated he feels. He can't relate to other parents because they have normal kids, not kids who were victims of mad science. Luis worries about so many things, but none of them are the things normal parents worry about.

But Ethan understands how hard it is to have a daughter that mad scientists want to use for their fucked up agendas. Ethan understands how exhausting it is to constantly be on guard constantly, to sleep restlessly with one eye open, because at any moment someone could come along to take your daughter away from you, to turn her into a test subject for cruel experiments or weaponize the superpowers she never asked for. Ethan is the only other person on this earth that understands, and Luis desperately wants to tell him that, all of that, after apologizing for the misunderstanding and accidentally making him fear for Rosemary's safety.

But Luis doesn't get a chance to. Ethan finally releases the crushing grip he had on Luis's wrist and immediately stands up and rushes over to Rosemary, scooping her up and running towards the parking lot. Luis pulls his sleeve up and glances at his wrist, which is red and painful. He's pretty sure Ethan's grip was strong enough that he's going to wake up with a nasty purple bruise. But he has no ill will towards the man. From Ethan's perspective, it seemed like a given that Luis was a scientist interested in Rosemary for fucked up reasons. Ethan's response being to show off his strength and threaten Luis's life is actually a bit endearing. Luis has no superpowers, but he knows he would still try to intimidate and threaten anyone who he thought might want to harm Lucia.

For a second, Luis contemplates running after Ethan to explain himself, but he knows that realistically that would only make the situation worse. He just has to hope that Ethan wasn't shaken enough to skip town, because Luis desperately wants a second chance to run into the man and apologize and clear everything up, explain how Luis understands his life more than anyone else ever can. And… Ethan is blond, smart, strong, fiercely protective, and a good father, all the things Luis likes in a man. Even if they didn't have the insane BOW daughter experience in common, Luis would want a chance to flirt with him.

Luis pulls his sleeve back down to hide the bruise before going over to Lucia to reassure her that the people she was worried about definitely weren't monsters and there isn't anything to be scared of.