#also love writing him as a condensing asshole!

[dejwrld]

quickly put in the tags your fav au/trope to attach to your fav !!!!

[ma1dita]

heavy hitter

part one can be found here!

this was a request, find it here!

words: 3.5k (yall im so sorry)

summary: james potter x beater!reader James might’ve won the game, but he needs to let people know he has the girl too.

warnings: smut. minors DNI. afab!reader, p in v, pwp, unprotected sex (wrap b4 u tap) locker room sex, creampie, oral (m!receiving) reader is a brat… this is nasty don’t look at me (jesus tagging this is crazy)

a/n: …. what plot? i wanted to write angst again but got bored so… *jazz hands* erm…. this is my first smut fic, i’ll go crawl in a hole now

(posted 12/19/23 not edited will return)

—

Hitting the shower was James’ chance of washing his anger away before seeing you again tonight. He always gave quidditch his 110% percent, but something animalistic rose out of him when he saw you get manhandled by Wilkins, his team keeper. And regardless of the Gryffindor win, he was planning to chew off his ear later, whether it be with extra laps at the next practice or a good ol’ fashioned wallop to the head. But this anger wasn’t due to a foul play, not even because you got hurt (your arm was clearly fine since you used it to swing your bat at Wilkins’ head after). What got James mad was the fact you ripped your jersey.

No, actually, it was definitely because of what happened after that.

He’s not the type of boyfriend to decline you showing a little extra skin, but any fantasy that entered his mind was quickly cleared away when he saw you re-emerge from the locker rooms wearing your teammate’s jersey. McGonagall said it would be the only way to let you play the rest of the game since there’s no magic allowed on the field, but ever the rulebreaker, James thought that was absolute bullshit.

He rinses the shampoo out of his mop of curls as he thinks about that tosser whose name he can’t even remember. The guy was way too eager to give you his jersey, flirting with you at practices and just not taking a hint. Everyone knew you’d been dating him for a while now, and of course, James knows you can handle yourself, but there are just some things he can’t let slide. Namely, assholes that can’t take a hint. Also, he was a benchwarmer at most. Cocky motherfucker.

Watching you fly around with some other guy’s last name on your back did terrible things to James’ ego. The blur of suds pool at his feet, circling down the drain as he takes a deep breath. He’s got it bad for you, but luckily you like him enough to call him yours.

The Gryffindor locker room was empty by now with everyone too eager to celebrate their win. It was his last year as team captain and at Hogwarts in general, so he should be right up there drinking with all of them, but James really needed to let off some steam.

“Babe?” Your voice calls from the doorway, echoing against the empty walls. Condensation drips off the door handle as you take a peek to see the one shower going in the corner. What was taking him so long? You saw the rest of the team leave without him and they were trying to drag you to celebrate with them, but with your boyfriend still drowning himself in the stall….

“Over here love,” he calls out, hearing your sandals clomp against the wet tile as you turn the corner.

“You almost done? We have a party to get to, Jamie.”

The falling water makes it a bit hard to hear you, so he pops his head out from behind the curtain and squints at your frame. You giggle and pull his chin closer for a few quick kisses.

“Is that your jersey?”

His lips feel so soft against yours as you get distracted, slipping your tongue into his mouth instead of giving him a proper answer. Godric you’re good at that. James’ wet hand quickly pushes the curtain open grabbing at your ass and tucking you against his naked body, soaking the front of you in the process. A muffled yelp escapes you as your body adjusts to the temperature and the feeling of his semi-hard dick against your front.

“No, coach still has mine and I have to return this to Steven after.” You say calmly, smiling against his cheek as he sucks at your neck. He would’ve enjoyed getting lost in the scent of your still-damp hair, but your statement makes him stop as he bites at your pulse point. A whimper leaves your mouth.

“Why the fuck are you still wearing whatshisname’s jersey?”

James’s hands trail up your back to feel the embroidered letters against your back, and he swears his eye twitches. The incredulous look on his face makes you hold back your laughter.

“Steven. You know him! Don’t tell me this is a big deal for you, baby. You know I couldn’t magically fix mine during the game…”

Your hands trace down his slippery biceps as he unconsciously ruts against your belly, cock now at full attention from rubbing up against you. Your nipples are pebbled up under the material of the jersey, soaked from your less-than-innocent embrace, and he lifts a hand to brush over them, making you groan.

“Definitely not. I wouldn’t get jealous of a prick like him…” He scoffs, hands going back down to fist the fabric over your hips, “Not a big deal at all.”

“Mhmmm… I’ve got a way to make it up to you, even if it’s not a big deal.” You muse, fingers reaching to tease his swollen head as James exhales harshly.

“I’d hope this is a big deal for you, baby. Would want nothing more,” he breathes, pushing your back against the wall.

“You just want me to say your dick is big.”

The both of you laugh before he tugs the jersey over your head, ripping it in the process.

“James!”

He shrugs, burrowing his head into your breasts and lapping at your right bud. You moan, shoving your shorts down past your ankles before pulling his hair away from your chest.

“Mmmm…fuck, babe. I’m supposed to be congratulating you right now!”

Your hands push at his torso slightly as you fall to your knees, placing yourself onto your sandals. Gentle hands graze his thighs, as he feels your nose bump into his cock. The water hits James’ back perfectly, and the sensation of your hand pumping and sliding along his length makes him almost feral, shutting his eyes in pleasure.

“You played so well today baby… deserve a reward, don’t you think?”

Your tongue slips out from behind your lips to lick the underside of his length, holding yourself there as you look up at him to answer. Droplets cascade down his pecs as he breathes heavily at the feeling, precum leaking from his cockhead. James hisses as you tap him against your tongue.

“Fuck, baby. Need your mouth right now.” He can feel you grin against his girth before his cock disappears into your mouth, hot and warm, and his instinct is to grab your hair. Goosebumps rise on the parts of him untouched by the shower. Your throat rumbles with a groan as you let him work himself down into your throat, the resistance waning as your jaw slackens. Cheeks hollowing, your lips retract with a pop.

“Like that, Jamie?” you say, reaching around to massage his balls as your tongue continues to play with the long vein that runs along the surface of his cock. It’s hard to fit all of him in your mouth, fingers barely able to wrap around it, much less the rest of you. His hand massages the part where your mouth hinges open, squeezing your cheeks around him as he fucks into you with a bated sigh.

“You always take me so well, baby. You can handle more, that’s it,” he pants, biting his lip as you concentrate real hard on letting him use you, the corners of your eyes watering. His heart is racing now as his hips piston to the noises that come gurgling from your throat and he almost slips before his reflexes help him catch the back of your head before it bangs into the stall wall. A loud moan sputters from around his cock as your eyes roll back, and the lack of oxygen makes you press your fingernails into his quads harshly.

He pulls out from between your lips, cradling your chin as the both of you catch your breath, coughing a little.

“You okay? Mouth so good I lost my footing.” All you can do is laugh hoarsely as he grins boyishly before you realize he’s not wearing his glasses.

“Can you even see me? S’bit cold down here, Mr. MVP.”

He pulls you up, strong hands lifting you at your armpits until you stand in front of him, reaching over to grab his glasses from the shower shelf. You slide them on as water sprays onto them slightly as he shifts, blinking at you in clearer vision.

“There’s my boy,” you whisper, cupping his jaw and slotting your lips between his once more. You could kiss James forever, all muscles and hard exterior, but everything else, his lips down to his insides feel and go soft for you. He groans lowly and it rumbles between the both of you, before the slick motions against your core remind you of something else that’s really hard right now.

“All for you,” he sighs, hands gripping onto your hips with a force that you think they’ll bruise tomorrow, and you love having physical reminders of him wherever you go. Huh, maybe he is jealous. And if not, he’s possessive. It makes your cunt pulse harder just thinking about it, your arousal helping his head slide nicely against your bundle of nerves and the softness of your stomach.

“I’m yours, you know that right?” Not replying, he instead inhales the sweat from your neck, following it with a dip of his tongue up towards your ear.

“James.”

Your boyfriend scoffs lightly, a small smirk on his face as he pulls your chin up to meet him at eye level. You’re so gorgeous like this, just letting him do what he wants to you. Always so reassuring of his needs. His thumb rubs against your bottom lip before you open your mouth and swirl your tongue around clean skin.

“Just feels like I have to remind you sometimes, pretty girl. Can’t let everyone walk around thinking you’re not mine.”

“I wouldn’t mind a reminder. Some marks would be nice too,” you grin, biting at his lip while your hands stroke him slowly, your own knees buckling in excitement.

“Yeah, you’d like that, wouldn’t you? Brat.” James hoists your legs over his hips, slamming your back into the wall as you squeak. Sandwiched between the warmth of his body and the cold of the shower wall, your eyes roll back as he eases his cock between your dripping folds, moans falling from your lips when he sinks into you, inch by inch.

His girth always has a way of stretching you open, and every time feels like the first as he taps at your thigh reminding you to take deep breaths. Fuck the party, you could stay here all night.

“Fill you up so nicely…we’re almost there, good girl.” His voice shakes, wanting to slam the rest of him straight into your cervix.

Your hands are gripping his shoulders until you finally feel him nudge the deepest parts of you, and you sigh when it all fits. Perfect.

“Always so big Jamie. Almost too much.” He kisses your cheek, hips starting to create a rhythm as he mutters into your ear.

“Not too much for my girl. Just perfect. Perfect pussy for this cock. All for you,” he grits, skin sliding and slapping as your thighs get pressed into your chest with the intense force he’s plunging into your guts.

“James, fuck….fuck you’re so deep! Feels so fucking good!” Filthy whimpers leave you and he loves the sound of your desperation when he’s inside of you like this. Too bad there’s no one else here to hear it. If Steven could only see you now.

“Such a good cunt for me to use. Only mine.”

He gasps for air as his feet slip against the tile once more, his heavy breathing fogging up his glasses, and his hold on you just as tight as your grip on his cock. Shit. His heart almost fell through his ass.

Your eyes open to see him struggling and a giggle escapes your mouth as you watch the stupid fucked out look on his face.

“How do people even fuck in the shower? This shit’s dangerous. Don't wanna maim the Gryffindor captain again.”

Your laughter sends jolts down to his throbbing shaft and he shakes his head with a smile, parting the curtain with one hand before carrying you still impaled on him towards the metal benches, placing you down softly.

“At least you finally admit it was your fault, baby. Could barely see straight for a week after.”

He wipes his glasses between his fingers before gazing at you lying across the bench, legs spread and ready for him. What a woman.

“And here I am hoping that when you’re done with me I won’t be able to walk for a week after,” you breathe, hands squeezing your tits as his pupils dilate further at the sight of you. What a fucking witch!

“Fucking hell, you know I love you, right?”

James positions himself over you, kissing your ankle as he sheathes himself back into your sex, resuming his brutal pace and hurtling you quickly towards your peak.

“Y-yes! Merlin, fuck I… looove you!” you wail, hips rolling to meet his and his balls strike your ass hard with each thrust. Your insides are being shifted around with him spearing your cervix like this and there’s nothing in this world that you could name that’s able to compare to how he makes you feel.

Your pussy contracts as he somehow nestles himself deeper, body trembling in this position as he throws your left leg over his shoulder, lips chasing your nipples trying to suck the life out of you, and perhaps that was his plan so you could forget anyone else but him.

“Don’t you dare fucking stop, James. Don’t you fucking DARE!” you beg, clawing your way down his back, making him nip at you in pleasure as you draw pinpricks of blood.

The tight pressure of release starts creeping at your core, making you squirm under him but he pins your waist down harder to the bench, the metal leaving prints against your flesh. His hands press harder on your stomach, silently encouraging you to cum and you can feel the imprint of his dick bulging from inside your stomach.

“Don’t struggle for me baby, just let it go. I know you wanna cum…. That’s it.” James praises in a shattered breath, watching you writhe underneath him as he holds you close. Your legs are shaking as your vision goes black for a moment, cunt gushing with release and squirt coats his pubic hair as your eyes roll to the back of your head.

You lay there, catching your breath as the stars clear from your vision, and you look up at him stroking himself to the sight of you coming undone.

“Sheesh, look at the mess you made. You okay?”

“More than okay, Jamie. Need you to finish the job,” you tease, toes grazing the skin of his hip and he slaps at your thigh with a smile.

“Insatiable minx. Turn around then, ass up f’me.”

You do as he says, getting on all fours and showing him the perfect round of your asscheeks, covered in milky residue from your recent orgasm, but you turn to look at him when he doesn’t come near.

“Babe?”

His locker clinks open as he pulls a fresh jersey out, walking back to you and guiding it over your head and arms as you smile, pecking his cheek. Your silly boy. There was no way you actually thought you hated him this time last year with how sweet he really is. His large hand grazes the embroidered patches now resting on your back, POTTER, in huge white letters, CAPTAIN, now resting at the base of your spine.

James’ eyes drift lower and he hums at the sight of you perched on the bench, dropping his face to your throbbing holes and taking a long swipe with the flat of his tongue as he savors your taste along with the sounds of your whining. From your swollen clit to the ring of your asshole he’s languishing in a flavor that’s so uniquely you, and he pulls back, smacking his lips.

“Scrumptious. How are you hotter with clothes on?” James grins, taking a playful bite of an asscheek before he slaps it lightly and stuffs you deep, without any further hesitation. Your sarcastic reply is lost in a moan that makes your toes curl.

He works you open onto his cock again, your back arching desperately to be as close as possible and his hand presses you down, sliding up your spine until his fingers curl around strands of your hair. Tits swinging until they’re crushed against the bench, your face is smooshed as you mumble pathetically in his grasp.

“What was that baby? Can’t hear you well…” He spits at you, and if anyone could see this they’d know he was enjoying the sight of you at his mercy. He grinds his shaft against your walls, ramming against your g-spot and you drool like a mindless plaything, greedy for his attention.

“Right…right fucking there, ohmygod!” His cock pummels your cunt deliciously, hands spreading your cheeks wide and the stretch is so good, perfectly stroking the need in your belly.

“You’re so needy, pretty girl. You love it like this, huh? Good thing I fuck you so well, right?”

Merlin, this boy can pull orgasms out of you as well as he plays quidditch. He’s the only person in the world you’d gladly submit and be this pathetically cockdrunk for. Good thing he's yours.

“Yes…yes! So good Jamie. No one can fuck me like you….”

The white-hot sensation digs at your insides as his fingers fall to your clit, rubbing at you just the way you like as shockwaves shake every crevice of your being. He's breathing over your neck, hot air puffing and elevating your senses before they shut down completely.

“Yeah? Then come on my cock again right now. Show me you like it that much. Now.”

Your arms give out, falling completely forward as your body jerks in searing pleasure, pussy fluttering around his cock once more, so intensely. Your hands flail behind you until they find his, and he's pulling you up against his hard chest as he bounces you onto his length and chases his high.

“Give it to me, please, please… I can take it!” You’re screaming now, at the intersection between pain and pleasure but wanting to make sure you can milk him for his efforts. James’ thrusts stagger as he leans his head on your shoulder, biting you as he cums hard.

“I know you can, baby. All yours…” he chokes out.

Thick white ropes coat your insides, wrapping you tight around him like a present until the excess seeps out to the base of his cock. You kiss his temple as James starts to regulate his breathing.

“Fuck. Fuck….” you drag out, the two of you more winded than you were playing the damn game.

“I still have to return Steven’s jersey,” you mumble, and James can’t do anything but smirk at the thought of the clueless boy standing outside your House's locker room while he fucked you senseless a few doors over. What a shame.

—

The two of you walk hand in hand into the Gryffindor common room to a crowd of students cheering for James. The party is well underway and many hands clap his now injured back, to which his grimaces make you bite back a laugh. Speaking of bites….

Sirius walks up to you with two cups of punch, wide grey eyes zeroed in on you wearing James’s jersey and the glaring red marks of your boyfriend’s teeth on your neck.

“Merlin. I thought you two would take time to celebrate on your own but did you fucking attack her?”

You both take the cups out of his hands, searing blushes on your faces and leave Sirius to his own imagination before James whispers in your ear that he’ll be gone for a moment.

“Okay, but hurry back, baby.”

A peck on the lips sends him on his way to walk straight towards that wanker–er, Steven with a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Potter! Have you seen–” the dumb boy says eagerly, before James cuts in, “Yeah, my girlfriend couldn’t meet you earlier, sorry mate.”

His hand digs into the undetectable extension charm in his knapsack, pulling out a soggy, ripped jersey.

“We were kind of busy, but you know how to fix that don’t you? You’ll need it to keep you warm on the bench for the rest of the season after all.”

It plops sadly onto the floor in front of the guy, and James looks at him, hazel eyes conveying what he knows he doesn’t have to remind him anymore.

“Thanks again! Appreciate you looking out for my girl.”

He walks away from Steven, who’s sputtering sad excuses and your eyes meet his as James finds you near the drinks table.

“What did you do?” You say with a lifted brow.

“Nothing, pretty girl. Just making known what’s mine.”

—

"you are pressing against me

like i press flowers

against the pages in my book.

you are kissing my neck

and it feels like the start of forever.

i want to touch you until my palms burn."

-amirae garcia

taglist (OPEN): @jsjcue

[jgabriel1920]

Hello! Love your work! Is it okay if you could write Blitzø smut and angst? He takes reader's virginity and tells them everything they wanna here to use them for something that they have then. Blitzø leaves them after getting what he wants because we all know he's scared of commitment reader can be any gener. Thank you, keep up the amazing work!! (Also I'm sorry if I've already asked this before)

𝚆𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚃𝚘 𝙼𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝙸𝚝 𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚜𝚎

𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐠𝐚𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐱 𝐈 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞! 𝐒𝐨... 𝐈𝐭 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭. 𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬.

𝐓𝐖: 𝐒𝐦𝐮𝐭, 𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐀𝐧𝐚𝐥, 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞.

"the number you have dialed has not been recognized-"

"C'mon, answer." your voice shook as you paced around your living room, heart almost escaping your chest. You close your eyes, trying to make the tears not fall from your face.

It was obvious it wasn't meant to last, you knew, but why it was so little? Why does it keep happening, again and again with you? You just wanted a little affection and all you got was the damned phone screaming at your ear!

"she ain't coming back, shithead."

Oh, and the asshole too.

"Oh thank you mister obvious I didn't notice." It was supposed to come of condensing, but your voice cracked and spilled sorrow. You pinched your eyes, trying to get calmer.

"she ain't even all of that."

you glared at him, at the sofa with his hands on the back of his head and laying on it with the most lazy demeanor you saw.

"I called you to help me, not to say shit about her." You replied, crossing your arms.

"Well, I can't do one thing without the other, she was a bitch! Always demanding stuff, whining, and bitching about life. Seriously she was a broken record."

"Well for one this is HELL. I can't expect you to have any better." You held your head, a headache was already incoming. "Second I am supposed to give stuff, that's how it works."

"Really? Who the fucker that said that?"

"oh I don't know, the one who fucked my wife certainly was screaming it before I blew his head off!" An ugly snarl formed as you held yourself not to pounce on the little red gremlin, who didn't seem affected by the threatening face.

"Wow, you should try guys next time with your luck on women."

"I'm not gay, Blitzø" You took a deep breath as you went to sit on the sofa, staring curved to the ground. You heard Blitzø leave and come back, but you didn't pay much attention.

"Listen..."

"Hm?"

"It's fucked up okay, but it's not the end of the world."

"Don't you say it..."

He grabbed you by the shoulders, forcing you to stare at him. "yeah I fucking say! The amount of time I got dumped isn't written but guess what!? I'm alive and fucking well and you are too! Every time you go there to kill people in that shitty ball in space, you are a butcher or some kind of fucked up modern artist making your world your painting. Put your anger there, and let that bitch behind because she isn't worth it if she left the goddamn commando here for nothing."

"... That was... A shity speech..."

He looked at you with an annoyed glare. "Really?"

"yeah, that's how I know you are telling the truth." You chuckled, giving his shoulder a light punch. "Okay then, boss. What are we going to do to forget the... Bitch." The last words came forced but he seemed happy nonetheless.

"Well... Fucking getting drunk!" He holds the vodkas he brought earlier. "That's a good fucking idea, no?"

"Aren't we going to do something dumb because of it?" You raised your eyebrow.

"Nah, the max we can do is piss on someone but they probably fucking deserved it."

"All right then... I do if you promise to not say fuck again, you ruining that word."

"That's my boy! Let's fu- eh, frickin go!" He got up with a jump, putting the liquid in glasses. Probably not the right way to get over an ex but like he said, what was the worst they could do?

-

"F-Finaly you c-can't say it- Hic! Anymore can you~?" You looked down at your 'boss' as you forced him down your cock, your hands gripping the back of his head as he gagged and sputtered, pre-cum and saliva dripping from his mouth. His eyes see stars as tears fall down his face with the sweat. A strong musky smell came from him as he tried to breathe through his nose, only getting out a bobble of saliva.

That made you grin, this shithead finally being a good boy for once, was he good for anything else even? You didn't remember, you didn't want to and would beat someone who tried to do that.

Your hands went for his horns as you let him out of his cock, but just barely. Only when his lips were touching your pulsing crown you slammed back into his throat, grunting out as you repeated.

"F-fucking slut a-aren't you~? Hic! J-just trying to g-get FUCKED by my c-cock, hm~?" You didn't need him to answer, his mindless sucking of your cock that made his cheeks hollow out and his tongue gripping your cock in a spiral was enough of a answer.

"You want a g-gay s-stud~? I going to g-give you a f-fucking gay s-stud~!" Spit came out of your mouth with the yell, making the already fast pace more quick. You didn't care he needed to breathe, everyone was already dead! You didn't need to breathe, just get air so you could yell more.

"Gay Blitzø, g-gay Bli-Blitzø, gay- HICK~! BLitzø~!" The mantra continued as the bastard took your cock like a doll, especially with the way he lacked a gag reflex. He didn't have one, you thought, although you didn't remember what gag meant. Oh, who cares anyway.

What matters is your cock throbbing like crazy, pleading to cum in the bitch mouth.

"I'm- HICK~! Going to HICK~! M-mAkE yOu tAkE it AlL!" That was the 'warning' he got before you forced him down again, this time locking your legs in the back of his head. Feeling as he scratched your thighs, but it didn't hurt. It made red stuff out but no hurt done. Not when you moaned louder in your entire life- death- dead life

When all was done, you got out and watched as he failed spectacularly to drink all up, coughing up and letting more cum fall down his naked body.

You laughed like a maniac, holding your stomach. "D-Dumb- HICK~! GiRl~"

When he finished coughing at you he looked at you with a challenging glare, a bad shit crazy smile on his face. "I show you A GODDAMN GIRL!"

He pouched on top of you, forcing you to the ground as he gripped your neck and closed your air ventilation. The already hard thoughts were now even harder to comprehend, as he talked about something you didn't understand. "GEt... FOr... ULTimate..."

"Uh?" Was all you let out as your body jolted when something entered your ass. Hard.

A cry came out of you as you almost came again when your belly was full of something. It kept going in and out, gripping your insides so well. It hurt. Did it hurt? Maybe. Mist your whimpers and cries somewhere from pain and others from pleasure, which became more and more one-sided as your ass got slapped on.

"MY BITch... MY BITch... BITch..." You were gagging in no air as you felt your skin going cold. Not all, your ass burned like a volcano. Do you think Blitzø was... Fucking you? Yeah?

His hips slapping against your thighs, feeling your foot on your ear and something on your mouth. Some air came back, but now something wet and slippery rolled around your tongue. Another one? You had only one. Had you not?

God you didn't want to think, not when something nice was in your torso, not when you practically screamed but nothing came out, just more spit and cum down your chin.

Your eyes... You could see his eyes now. So frenetic. You wanted them bad. You needed them badly. All the time. Any time. You needed to be his... Bitch.

Oh fuck you came at that thought, you his little bitch slut, always getting fucked in this ass. His cum on you, you wanted it trapped if it always felt this hot. Hot. You wanted to be hot and bothered all the time.

You wanted...

-

Nothing.

You felt nothing but cold air. Lying down on the floor.

Your head throbbing, bile coming up. You went up, fell by the side, and got up, running to the bathroom to vomit in the toilet.

So much vomit, how much did you drink yesterday? Or today? What day was it?

You got up, to the sink, cleaning your face with cold water. Was all always so cold?

You tried to breathe, but something was wrong with your throat. Air wasn't airing per se. Somebody choked you? Only last week but the target was down before any further damage. So who-

Blitzø. His name came too fast as if you were stuck with it all day. His idea of getting drunk so he must know something.

And what happened... A dream, yeah a really strange dream. Only that, it couldn't be.

You gripping your hip, feeling a boner coming up, why?

Call, call first, and then questions.

Your phone was on the ground, with no cracks. You went to his number, calling it. It kept calling and going indefinitely, not finding it. Until a response came.

"the number you have dialed has not been recognized, try again later."

[hyuge]

I Do

The pianist in the corner plays a soft, loving melody, their fingers dancing over the keys with all the grace and elegance of a seasoned ballet dancer. Flowers adorn the front of the church sanctuary and guests sit in the hard, wooden pews, whispering to one another. Katsuki looks out at all their friends and family gathered as he holds the sheet of paper in his trembling handles. He’s prepared for this, but it still fills him with anxiety. Eijirou is the love of his life, and he needs to get his feelings across just right. Their moms are in the front row, sniffling softly on opposite sides of the aisle. Katsuki’s father nods his head encouragingly.

He glances down at the three-piece suit he’s chosen to wear for this day. There’s not a single wrinkle in sight as he meticulously ironed it that morning before making his way to the church. It’s black with a white dress shirt and red vest and tie. Eijirou’s favorite. Katsuki’s heart aches as his gaze flicks to Eijirou’s peaceful face. He looks perfect as always. His hair is spiked up in the front but cropped short in the back. There was an argument with the others on whether or not his hair should be spiked as it’s not very formal, but Katsuki stood firm. On a day like today, Eijirou should be allowed to unabashedly be himself.

Eijirou has a gray suit on. His hands are folded together against his stomach and there’s a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. He has makeup on, but it’s done in a way that suits him perfectly. It’s not too much and it’s not too little. There’s a touch of color on his cheeks and lips, and thin black wings fan out above his eyes. With his hair spiked up, Katsuki can see the scar on Eijirou’s eyelid clearly. Time has made it fade and shrink but it remains a permanent reminder of how their quirks can both help and hurt those around them.

Katsuki swallows the lump in his throat and unfolds the paper. He’s had it for so long that it’s worn with age, but the black ink is still legible. He forgot how much he wrote. Honestly, Katsuki could draft an entire novel of all the reasons he loves Kirishima Eijirou, and it still wouldn’t be long enough to properly convey his feelings. Condensing it down to a single page was harder than becoming the number one hero. He wasn’t into poetry and all that shit, but he would write sonnets if it meant Eijirou knew exactly how much he meant to Katsuki. He always thought those stupid puzzle-piece metaphors were sappy, cliché bullshit, but it’s true. Kirishima Eijirou is the piece that completes his. They are meant to spend the rest of their lives together. Anything else is unacceptable.

A hot tear tracks down his cheek and drips onto the paper as he sucks in a breath, willing the words to escape him. He stares at Eijirou and bites his lip, then begins to read:

“Ei, we’ve known each other since we were fifteen years old, and I’ve known I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you since I was sixteen. It’s insane how much I fucking love you.”

He glances up at the priest standing beside him. “Sorry, Father.”

The priest inclines his head for Katsuki to continue.

“You push me to be a better version of myself every day. I’ve done a lot of growing over the years and none of it would have happened if you hadn’t bulldozed your way into my life, loudly declaring that we were friends, even when I was an asshole and adamant on not needing friends.”

Their guests chuckle, likely thinking about how boisterous Eijirou was back then. Katsuki continues.

“You fill my life with so much light and warmth. Every morning that I wake up to your smiling face is a good morning. Every night that I see you when I come home from work and before I go to bed washes away the stress of the day. Hero work is so stressful but there you are, offering a massage or to cuddle—anything to take the edge off. You have always been my unbreakable horse. You’re the immovable object in my life but I also don’t want to even consider moving you. You anchored yourself within me. You’re my sounding board, my best friend, the love of my life, the man I want to marry and spend my future with.

“Every moment without you feels like I’m walking on a bed of nails. I would rather—”

Katsuki chokes on a sob.

“I would rather never know what love felt like than know what love without you feels like. I know our friends and family will be laughing at me for years to come over these vows but that’s how much I love you. I don’t care about the stupid jabs and jibes they make at my expense. You make me want to live, and every day that I get to be with me makes me glad that I was born. It makes me glad that I wanted to be a hero. If I didn’t, then I never would have met you at UA and we never would have ended up… ended up here today.”

He lifts his gaze from the paper to Eijirou’s face. Their matching rings sparkle in the light of the sanctuary and the stained-glass windows cast a blue-green hue on Eijirou’s restful face. He’s too at peace as he lays there in the coffin. It’s not fair. Katsuki has already read these vows to Eijirou once on the day of their wedding, but he felt it necessary to read them to him again today at his funeral. He had no way of writing a proper eulogy for his husband. The only words he ever wants to say to him are how much he loves him.

Katsuki violently wipes the tears from his face with the back of his hand. “Today is the day we finally unite as one but in reality, we’ve been united since we first fought together during the attack on the USJ that first week of high school. We worked in perfect harmony back then and it was the start of something incredible.

“So, I vow to always be by your side and protecting your back. I’ll cook while you clean. I’ll love you until we’re both old and gray and full of wrinkles and can’t stand each other’s old-man smell. I’ll make you soup when you’re sick, just like I know you’ll do the same for me. We’ll spend our days off lazing about the apartment or camping or hiking. I vow to count all the stars in the night sky with you, explaining what each one is and how many years it would take to get there. And even when I’ve used my last breath, I’ll still take one more to tell you I love you. Because Kirishima Eijirou, I’ll be damned if there’s anyone else I would rather spend the rest of my life with. It’s you and me always and forever. Katsuki and Eijirou. Eijirou and Katsuki.

“Til death do us part.”

Katsuki crumples the worn-out sheet of notebook paper in his fist as he jams it in his pocket. His shoulders shake as the sobs wrack his body now. He bites down hard on his bottom lip as he approaches the casket, ignoring the crowd of people that are either waiting for him to continue speaking or to step off the stage and allow someone else to go. Katsuki grips the edge of the casket for support and sniffles. Tears spill onto Eijirou’s lifeless form, and Katsuki gives his husband’s hand a squeeze.

“I’m so mad at you,” he says. “You weren’t allowed to leave me, not like this. We were supposed to have our whole lives together so why was your life so short?”

He chokes on a sob and pulls the wedding vows back out of his pocket, placing them under Eijirou’s hand. Katsuki waits for a moment, expecting Eijirou to squeeze his hand and tell him everything is going to be all right but when nothing happens, he turns away without another word and moves back to the pews to sit between his parents who hold him close as he cries into his mother’s chest like he’s done so many times as a child.

Kaminari goes to the stage. His usual energetic aura is replaced with a more somber one as he tells a story in vivid detail about Eijirou saving him while they were working. Katsuki tunes it out. He has no interest in what anyone else has to say about his husband. He just sits there quietly crying as his mother and father soothe him, rubbing their hands up and down the length of his back and whispering about how he will eventually move on from this. Today is for grieving. Tomorrow is for the future.

Written for the @ficwip Dark & Cozy challenge. You can also read it on AO3.

[wutheringmights]

Bro Mask really woke up and suddenly his brothers were fighting

Anyway I am once again asking for the commentary on this update because you got me in SHAMBLES Frankie. SHAMBLES. HOW CAN I reCOVER-?!

I love this story to bits <33

You guys were very prompt with the commentary requests, which just amazes me. Like, you all actually like to hear what I have to say?? Wild.

Like always, this contains spoilers so proceed at your own risk.

This is probably one of my favorite past sections I have written in a while, mostly due to how it has that duel scene that I have been wanting to write since the start of this story

However, if this section had one major flaw, it's the pacing; there's three major arguments between the engineer and Link that could have been condensed down to two.

Low key, one of the saddest moments this chapter is when the child asks Link to promise to make sure he comes back, and Link does not. If there was ever any evidence needed to show that he's an asshole, it's that

The Fierce Deity mask attaching itself to the child's hands was not in my original plan, but I realized that there was no one the engineer wouldn't attempt to destroy the mask once he took it off of the child

Here's what happened off screen: the engineer pulled the mask off while thinking about tossing it away, which made the Fierce Deity say "fuck you I'm gonna body horror this child now"

The engineer asking what finger Link would want him to cut off is a reference to chapter 14 where Link tell the engineer that he would have to cut off his own finger if Link ordered him to-- Link forgot he said that because he didn't mean it exactly, but unfortunately, the engineer took him to his word

Originally, the engineer was going to have a monologue in the medical tent where he talks about how he's feeling and how little he trusts Link; I cut this since the engineer is more enthralling when the reader doesn't know exactly what he's thinking

There are some parts of that monologue I really like that I wish I could have kept; hopefully, what he has to say will appear elsewhere in the story

So that duel... that was so satisfying to write, and it's a bit of a relief to have it out of my system and into the world

Chapters 4 and 5 established the fact that Link and the engineer were technically Knights of Hyrule, which I don't think I reiterated elsewhere; so hopefully you guys remember plot details from over a year ago

Also, remember when Meemaw said that Link and the engineer had a very public argument in chapter 5? This is that argument.

If there is one thing I don't like about the duel, it's the implications that the civilians of Hyrule have a homogeneous opinion about the use of child heroes; I've been avoiding making groups have unanimous perspectives like that, but it felt a little unavoidable here. I still tried to say that not everyone agreed, but I don't know if I was successful or not

There is no more perfect demonstration of the engineer and Link's characters than how that duel ended: the engineer happy to stop when he did the minimum amount of damage needed to win, and Link responding with overblown violence

As far as I am aware, how Link and the engineer got their scars was the plot point that readers speculated on the most; I think a lot of people connected the two together, which I am very happy about

Okay, onto the present

Some of you may have guessed it, but the hand funeral was not in the original plan, but there were so many jokes about What Hyrule Did To Warriors's Arm that I ended up thinking about it too hard and fell in love with the idea of the boys having a small funeral for it

That being said, because it was not part of the original plan, I really screwed myself over and ended up having to restructure a lot of the scenes to make it work; I don't know yet if it was worth it, but I do like how the funeral signals an end to the Warriors's torture misery plotline

This part also suffered under my space restraints as I did not expect the duel to be as long as it was, so a lot of things got trimmed or cut

Here is a short list of things that were removed or changed: more importance on Lincoln and Four leaving for a few days, Lincoln gifting Warriors soap (and Warriors being mad that it was actually a good gift), Linkle arriving separate from Sky and Lana, Cia talking about Age of Calamity as one of the many paths Wild's life could have taken, the boys meeting some Skullkids in the Lost Woods, Hyrule joking about finding Lincoln hot, Four talking about the Four Sword with Warriors, Sky talking to Warriors about their shared trauma, Lincoln saying his goodbyes and leaving, more Lana and Link content, Linkle solving an important plotline, and more!

Writing Proxi this chapter has been interesting as I felt like I was speed-running trying to convey what her relationship with Warriors is like as it had never occurred to me that the reader wouldn't see how their relationship started in the past before we met up with her in the present

There was a point of time I considered having Proxi be a mirror to Warriors's emotions instead of an interpreter to them; so Warriors would be shouting in what appeared to be anger while Proxi would be sobbing in fright

I scraped this as it only worked if Proxi didn't have her own emotions, which while a fun idea, meant she had less agency

The way the fandom treats Cia is very interesting to me, as she is one of the only villains who is redeemed at the end of the story. Yet, because of her attraction to Warriors, she's often still treated as a villain. In fact, her villainy is always reduced down to her sexually assaulting Warriors. The fact that she is un-corrupted at the end of story is more fascinating to me, which meant that I had to decide what a not-evil version of Cia would be like

The answer I landed on was "Weird New York Art Girl"

Cia's main hobby is refurbishing the temple and abbey; there was originally going to be more gags of her doing a variety of projects to fix it up, including gardening, woodworking, and masonry

Hyrule's disdain for Cia is actually one of my favorite parts of the chapter; having arrived at the temple first, he had a lot of alone time with her where he got increasingly upset that she wouldn't give him a straight answer about who was okay or not

Cia's prophecy/warning to Time might seem on the nose, but this is actually vague version; my original idea gave away way too much of where the story is going

Wild's speech about remembering/knowing could have been cut for space, but I kept it exclusively so that I can finally give Wild a moment; I just do... so little with him....

So... let's talk Sky

In chapter 4, there is a moment when Warriors is giving everyone the contingency plan where Warriors asks Sky if he ever killed someone, to which made Sky uncomfortable; I wouldn't call that foreshadowing, but that moment happened exclusively because I knew he was going to kill one of the knights

Originally, I was going to have Sky kill Faiza; I changed that last minute because I was uncomfortable killing off the one not-white human in the Knights of Hyrule off screen and it seemed too cruel to kill off someone who is pregnant

So, yeah. Killing off Faiza was not a good idea

I killed off Clementine instead as I felt like I could make her death impactful while keeping it off screen

So, Sky lost his finger; any information about what exactly happened to him is going to stay vague and unmentioned on purpose

Why? Sky's pain is competing with Warriors's, who we spent many chapters deep in the thick of. Nothing I could say can compete. But whatever you guys come up with in your head is going to be whatever is necessary to feel like their pain is equal; it's like when horror directors don't show the monster since the viewer's imagination will always be scarier

I feel like I should have more to say about Time and Warriors's conversation, but it really speaks for itself

I will reassure you all that the reveal is near and I won't taunt you all with it for much longer

The chapter was originally going to end with Legend explaining his story and what is going on with Midna, Twilight, and Wind, but we ran out of space

So you will have to wait until next chapter to learn what happens next

[50cal-fullauto-astarion]

that art is beautiful, i'm also just obsessed with how you write könig. the nervous energy needing to be burned, the hyena-like laugh, the way he curls into himself when he's ashamed UGH it's so good and fucked up and human i love it!!!!!!!!!! i look forward to anything you write for him in the future (also i think you're gonna drag me into the bg3 fandom, i have no idea what's goin on there but damn if you do not reblog the most interesting shit about those characters!)

ISN’T IT JUST 😭😭❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 I got so blessed with @utttoka ‘s talent and loveliness in wanting to share their vision of my take of him, I just jump up and down when I go back and look at it dghj 🥹🥹

And THANK YOU 💖💖 like logically he’s such a minor character in a campaign with much more fleshed out and interesting characters played by amazing actors, but I really just went full crab with knife and just picked him up and ran LMAO. I put a lot of thought and attention into my portrayal of him (and at this point he’s basically just an OC), and I still do, and he’s ended up being very special to me. Not to get too corny about it, but I’ve put enough of myself into my rendition of him that he’s become a significant comfort character, and I’m so glad that ppl respond to how I write him and relate to him and find him believable and engaging fghgd.

I AM gonna take a min here and get faintly cornball about it, but I’ve been - hi this is after-work rags and i'm here to finish up my thoughts on this topic now that i'm home and looking up lockets to put video game character pictures in. life's a fuckin joke and i'm going to laugh the hardest. ANYWAY.

i've been spending a lot of time considering my place in the CoD fandom through a myriad of lenses (some far FAR weightier than others, but with thoughts that ppl far more intelligent and articulate than me have already put to words), but it basically has boiled down to the condensed soup of "is this making me happy, is this giving me an outlet, is it time for me to shift my focus and step away, or should i change my approach to the things i'm creating?"

sorry for turning your sweet and kind ask into a like sljlskjd semi-existential crisis sweetie. i'll cut it short and basically sum up with: i still love these characters even if i'm neck deep in bg3, i still want to tell my stories with my versions of them, and i'm pretty sure i'm gonna just switch to solely "oc x" content after finishing up the last reader-based projects i have going, so at the least i'm having fun. christ, off the soap box now, sorry again dldjs.

BUT AGAIN, THANK YOU FOR ENJOYING MY PORTRAYAL OF THE BIG AUSTRIAN ASSHOLE, I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE STUFF I DO WITH HIM IN THE FUTURE <3 <3

(ALSO PLEASE GET DRAGGED IN BG3, THE COMPANIONS ARE A FUCKIN MESS, THE GAME IS SO FUN AND HEARTWRENCHING AND KICKS SO MUCH ASS. I WOULD TO HEAR ANY SCREAMING ABOUT IT FROM YOU THAT YOU MIGHT WANNA DO IF YOU JUMP IN THE HELL HOLE WITH ME SLKJSD)

[caruliaa]

CHASE EW EW EW HE SUCKS SMM IM LTIERALLY GONNA BE SICKK il get more into this when we get to that ep but his "redemption arc" is literally soo shitty and rushed be we so no actual development just a notoriously stubborn character suddenly change his mind when has has gone through no development and evidence has never convinced him before and he notoriously doesnt respect julias opinion BUT getting of track it wld be one thing if they like. tried to characterize him as more sympathetic and willing to change his mind at the start of season 3 like tht still would have been out of character and bad writing compared to the rest of the show but at least this season would be consitent with itself but instead hes still a giant dickhead focused on capturing carm ALSO THE DULL FACTS AND BORING THINGS COMMENTTT 1. i hate him and he shld die for being mean to julia fr and 2. WHY HAVE HIM SAY THAT AGAINN if ur going to claim he changes his mind on julia and her interests later soo suddenly and not even show a moment for that happening like you do with him changing his mind abt carmen which that moment was like. so fucking out of character and even for a less stubbon character bc its condensing what should have been a character arc (tht wldve been set up sm earlier if this show was better written so they honestly shld have just not had it in the first place imo) showing characters actually growing into a single moment of a character suddenly changing their entire pov on something they where very convicted about in a moment but at least like. do the same with him disrespecting julias interests and opinions if ur gonna claim he suddenly changes his mind on tht. chase didnt have a character arc the writers just decided to switch his asshole switch off which is a hashtag bad writing moment. anyway AT LEAST THERES JULIA MY DARLING WIFE JULIA I LOVE YOU MY DEAREST HEART MORE THAN ANYTHING DO YOU WANT ME TO KILL CHASE FOR YOU

[bookandhook]

A Man Called Ove: Book Review #1

There are a total of four books that I began in December of 2022, all of which remain unfinished for the moment, put aside for one book in particular. The only reason for that being is that I saw a trailer for A Man Called Otto starring Tom Hanks and thought 'huh, that looks vaguely familiar'. It was then that I remembered picking up a certain book at Savers earlier in the year on impulse that currently sat, unread, amongst a bunch of other unread books on my fairly new IKEA bookcase that is already filled to the brim.

A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman made its way onto my TBR for two reasons and two reasons only:

It was going to make me cry, allegedly.

The main character is a grumpy, lonely, old man who learns to love life again (allegedly).

(Full review under the READ MORE. Spoilers marked as such.)

(The cat on the cover also got me, but I digress)

Anyone who knows me in my daily life knows that this is my absolute weakness. Do I know why I love grumpy old men so much? No. Sometimes I suspect it has to do with the fact that both me and my parents were on the same wavelength at one point about the movie Up.

A condensed version of this for people who are interested in this book would be-

The writing was easy and enjoyable. The author has a way of writing Ove that is blunt and to the point, very much like his character. I have a nasty habit of not entirely looking up any sort of warnings about books before going in, because I am the type of person who mainly gets bothered/triggered by visual media instead of that which I am reading. For those going into this book though I would warn strongly that suicide is the main focus of this book. If that is upsetting to you then I suggest you skip this book entirely or be heavily forewarned going in. Also I should be warning against cancer, major accidents, child-loss, and character death.

The main character, Ove, is also very much, as it is stated, a very grumpy and old-fashioned old man. This book is riddled with the horrors of dealing with stubborn old people in retail, homophobic language, racist language, fatphobic language etc. Anything horrible you can think of an old person saying off the cuff is in it-- BUT-- in my own opinion-- it is done well. It is done in an intentional way to show that Ove, though old fashioned and a bit of an asshole, is not a bad character. He does actually care, or learn to care in his own way. His language is a reflection of his life up to a certain point.

We will now enter the part of my review that is riddled with spoilers. You have been warned.

As was mentioned before, suicide is the main focus of this book. Though the main character is not successful, there are many MANY attempts riddled throughout. All of which are interrupted either comedic or otherwise. Ove, struggling with the loss of his wife to cancer and the only person who he feels understood him in this world, has decided that he will join her. Through seeing Ove's day to day you also get flashbacks to his life with Sonja. The two are written to be opposites in every single way, and it is very endearing. Where Ove is blunt, straightforward, and logical Sonja is sweet, poetic, and imaginative. She reads excessively and he builds her bookcases, that is the easiest way I can sum it up that made my heart truly melt.

In order to not truly spoil some of the stuff in the spoiler ridden section of my review I will leave Ove's relationship with the neighbors that move in across from him mostly untouched. It is, also, a huge part of this book, but the slow build of it and the heartwarming ending is something I think is best experienced should you read this portion and decide to dive into this book yourself. It builds on a relationship that I, personally, haven't really seen in media yet (much let alone books, but maybe there are ones out there that I just haven't found yet.)

Honestly, just think Russel and Mr. Fredrickson, but...grown up and Russel is a pregnant lady. I know, I know- just trust me.

Throughout the course of this book, Ove rekindles old relationships, builds new ones, gets the neighborhood to view him differently than they once have, adopts a cat, and also lets a young man who gets kicked out by his father for being gay come and stay with him in his house. Every page had something else on it that either made me laugh, cry, or just flat out shake my head.

END SPOILER SECTION

According to my Storygraph I began this book on the 5th of January and finished it on the 21st. For someone who is currently stuck in a little bit of a reading rut I am counting 17 days to finish a book as a complete win.

For my first book of 2023 I found this one leaving me hopeful. Even though this was a bit of a heavier read for me to start my year it didn't leave me feeling sad. As someone who has recently experienced loss and my own intense struggles with depression and feeling misunderstood this hit right to the core. Sometimes, books don't fully affect me aside from an intense focus and lingering obsession with the world- but since this was grounded in reality and not fantasy it did hit me in a way I didn't fully expect. I truly loved it, though I can see why other's would not. The rest is up for you to decide.

[dachi-chan25]

Recent Reads

Sooo I haven't been writing reviews for what I've read in like a year so and actually I haven't been reading all that much (the reading slump is real) so I will try to ease myself back into it and hopefully that will make me read more.

1.- The Hollow Kind by Andy Davidson

3/5

This book is about a mother and a son running away to her family's old turpentine state to hide from her husband who is an abuser. The house and the property in general is very dangerous and holds many secrets.

There were some intresting bits, especially in the sections about the past, but it didn't really capture me.

2.- Bloody Fool for Love by William Ritter

4/5

I looooove Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Spike is my favorite character, that being said I thought it was a pretty fun story and really lays out the dynamic between Angel and Spike as well as establish who Spike is as a vampire.

3.- The Institute by Stephen King

5/5

Luke is a genius 12 yo boy making plans to go to college soon, he happens to have the ability of making things move sometimes, this catches the attention of The Institue, a plce where children with psychic potential get experimented on to develop their abilities.

I loved this book. It really got me out of my reading slump cuz I practically went through it on one sitting. I felt that while this concept is not original it was very well executed and it was deeply disturbing, also the ending was really sad but felt true to everything that happened in the book.

4.- The Last Ever After (School for Good and Evil # 3) by Soman Chainani

5/5

Sooo I watched the Netflix adaptation of book 1 of this series and became obssesed w it and I've been reading the books and they are sooo goood. So this is the 3rd book and I won't go much into detail about plot and stuff, but I definitely recc it for someone who loves fairytales and that wants a twist on them cause these books definitely defy expatations and the roles (gender roles specifically) of many fairytale archtypes.

5.- What Big Teeth by Rose Szabo

4/5

This is a very atmospherical whimsical book. It's about this girl who was sent away to a boarding school but she escapes and comes back to her family, who are all different from her and she wants answers from her grandma who was the one who sent her away, but she doesn't get them, her granny dies and this sets in motion everything for our protagonist to discover her family's secrets.

6.-The Vinyl Underground by Rob Rufus

4/5

This book it's bitchin'. So our protagonist Ronnie is grieving the death of his brother, who died in Vietnam. They were very close and even had plans to host a radio show together so it's very hard on him especially as he lives in a very small town were seemingly most boys can't wait to get drafted. He meets Hanna, an asian girl new in town, and together with Ronnie's athlete friend form a group to listen to music together and their closeness makes a ripple in town as they find a way to express their non-conformity to the war.

7.- Verona Comics by Jennifer Dugan

2/5

Mmm, I am a very nerdy person and I love comics and superheroes a lot, so I was definitely intrested in this Romeo and Juliet retelling. I was expecting it to be wholesome and fun but honeslty I couldn't get into it at all and the main characters didn't have a dynamic I was intrested in, like not even the conflict between the families was compelling at all cause the dad was such cartoonish asshole villian so yeah not my cup of tea

8.-Breakable Things by Cassandra Khaw

4/5

This is a story collection, I ended up liking the stories very much, they all had this very creepy eerie feeling to them and I dig that a lot.

9.- Jane Eyre: A Retelling by Tanya Landman

3/5

What was the point???? This is Jane Eyre but super super condensed and w the authors' personal opinions/biases against the characters or like their input on what they believe the character was thinking and I did not vibe w that alas it is basically Jane Eyre but told via one paragraph long chapter so it is the same story but not even given a different spin at all.

10.-The Housewives: The Real Story behind The Real Housewives by Brian Moylan

4/5

This book was super intresting, so I haven't watched "The Real Housewives" like at all, I have seen a few clips and the memes I guess but not like a whole episode, but I was intrested in what makes reality shows so popular and what goes in their making yada, yada. This book definitely gave me the answers I was looking for and not only that bit was pretty fun and entretaining as a read so yeah I definitely recommend it if you're looking to read more non-fiction but don't want something super dense or theoretical.

11.-Dead Flip by Sara Farizan

3/5

I feel this book would be perfect for fans of Starnger Things, it follows a group of 3 friends: Cori,Maz and Sam, they are inseparable until they have a fight and that night one of them goes missing. It's told in 2 timelines, but eventually they intersect as the missing friend returns. It's a fun read but a bit too juvenile for me so that's why I only gave it a 3 but still it was enjoyable.

12.-Motherthing by Ainslie Hogarth

4/5

This book was not what I was expecting, so the only thing I knew about this book was that a woman get haunted by her dead mother-in-law... but no, well kinda. The story does start when the mother-in-law dies, but most fail to mention that the protagonist of the book is one of those deranged woman booktok loves which takes the book to a whole other level as the protagonist deals (very badly) with her grieving husband, and her obsession with motherhood via reminiscing her own mother and the poor relationship she had w her, to her poor relationship w her dead mother in law whom she resents for not loving her and embracing her in the family, her hyperfixiation w one of her charges at the Nursing Home she works at and finally her own obssesion w becoming a mother. This book is definitely a ride but one I enjoyed.

13.- Sea Witch by Sarah Henning

3/5

So, I like The Little Mermaid, it's one of my favorite classic fairytales because I like the melancholic vibe ( I love that suffering) and the Sea Witch is a very intresting character so I was definitely pumped up for this but ... it was not bad per se, but for me it felt very cliché and generic, I felt like I was watching one of those Disney movies about Villians were they yassify and basically justify their every action when all I've ever wanted is a descent arc, a corruption arc... well anyway not the book for me but not bad enough to make fun of it either just very meh.

[ria-the-camel]

Negative thoughts on tlovm under the read more, i just wanted to get them out where i know where to find them later, pls don't yell at me

I guess i feel the same as season 1, it's a bit better but the same problems persist

Mostly, the dialogue feels stunted and forced (whenever the twins call each other sister/brother i just cringe, i admit i can't remember if they did it in the broadcast but it doesn't matter that much, it's just one example anyway)

Most of the jokes don't land at all with me (pedobear? Seriously? You dont have to bring that stuff in, leave it in 2015 lol) I think the only legit chuckle i let out was when percy absolutely read zahra about being jealous Osysa told vm instead of them, her reaction had good timing for me lol

I think the biggest issue tho is it really doesn't feel like the team like each other. And it's inevitable with condensing such a large amount of content, but it's really missing the bonds between them, the only ones i really see working are pike and grog, who are adorable. The twins feels forced to me. "Look at them being traumatized together" I see it, but i don't feel it.

Kash and Zahra feel so aggro the whole time and it's a shame this is the path they chose to go on, I'd rather have maybe kash gets friendly faster and drag zahra along, just so they're not assholes the whole time. I guess from the ending it is the path they're choosing but we'll see next ep. Also wonder if pike will do the rez 🤔

And also am not a fan of dropping the back story ON the episode shit goes down, like where's my build up? It's really not as impactful, i really didn't feel anything as vax held his dead sister in his arms (when i watched liam O'Brien describe doing that exact same thing i couldn't stop crying instead)

Aaaand since im being nit picky, the sobbing sounded bad. Sorry, dry sobbing really ain't doing much for me. Would have had way more impactful if the ep ended with him just staring horrified and maybe the classic single tear down his cheek.

The flights were alright, pretty fun, didn't love vex and zahra bitching and everyone getting a chance at almost drowning, it lost meaning sorta. But ep 1 had some pretty neat devastation not gonna lie. Probably my fave ep in the show so far.

The animation issss... Not the best, but it feels a bit better that season 1. I really dont like how they make the dragons. Okay they're 3d i get it. But they mesh so bad with the other characters, they should have animated them with a lower frame rate at least imo, if doing cell shading really didn't work for them (which i can understand). Same with osysa of course.

This is the least of the problems, but i still have trouble with some gods remembering who the fuck they are lmao Do get distinct from wotc im just gonna take some time to remember who the lawbearer fuckin is lmao

Anyway it still feels surreal to see this show brought to animation though, and ill continue watching and hoping it gets so much better! Especially cos id love to see both mighty nein and bells hells get animated, and i want the team to have way more solid ground and writing skills under their feet/belt lol

[seasonsbloom]

Congrats on 500 followers! What about “make me” with Fanboy bcs I love him soo much and hardly anyone writes for him

♡ pairing ; fanboy x female!reader

♡ wc ; 700, i got a little carried away

♡ warnings ; explicit language; mentions of intoxication

♡ note ; fanboy isn't actually even that small but he looks really small in the film? anyway this doesn't make any sense, idk I'm sorry you guys :-(

Sam Cooke got it right. You really don't know much about history, you really don't know much about biology. You also don't know much about science books or any of the French you took. In fact, you don’t know much about anything. 

But what you do know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, what you know like the color of your eyes, like the scent of your childhood home, what you know irrevocably and eternally and what you know at the very core of you, is this: Mickey Garcia is your best friend. He’s always been your friend, as far back as you can remember.

This comes as a bit of a shock, then.

You’re like… six and a half Tequila shots in, and the half one only happened because you spilled it all across the front of your shirt. The night feels like it’s sizzling out at the edges, like the fringes are trickling into the sand and evaporating, but for now you’re still buzzing, you’re still reeling, you’re still high on whatever the fuck is going on here.

In the low lights of the bar, with some slow, syrupy, sultry song crooning from the speakers, with Mickey’s beer sweating condensation against the palm of your hand, with Mickey’s gaze right on you and his lips a little parted and his eyes all glossy and dark and simmering with something, something, something… 

Lines go blurry.

“Fuck off,” Mickey says, but he’s laughing with the words, pushing even closer, reaching for the bottle you pull away at the last minute. Dangle over your heads like the sword of Damocles.

“You’re too small,” you tell him, grinning. It’s what Payback - Payback with the freakishly long arms and legs, Payback who can bend like Gumby, Payback who looks like one of those inflatable things they put out in front of used car dealerships as soon as a stiff breeze blows - started after these two first met, what you’ve kept going like a game you can’t stop playing.

“Actually,” Mickey’s saying, and he’s so close you don’t really need to hear his words, can almost taste them off his lips. His eyes are real sparkly. “The shorter the pilot, the higher his G-tolerance.”

You snort with laughter like it’s the funniest thing you’ve ever heard, but then your eyes trail to his mouth, and something inside of you tightens, shifts, stutters. Your head is fogging up. 

“I bet Mav told you that,” you say, but your voice is too wobbly for the words to really have any impact. “Short king agenda and all that.”

Mickey makes a sound like a giggle, and you’re about to start twirling your hair or something if this asshole keeps going like this. He leans even closer, and you try to move back (why the fuck am I moving back? some part of you asks. Wrong direction, bitch, reverse, shit reverse, what the fuck?), but something solid behind you lets you know you’re already standing with your back to the wall. With Mickey caging you in, his hands inches from your hips, his fingertips tracing across the fabric of your shirt.

“Shut up,” Mickey’s saying, now so close (so fucking close, oh god, where’s the eject handle?) you can feel his breath ghosting over your mouth, smell the lime and the cilantro from the Tacos you shared earlier. 

It’s a madness, it’s a fever, it’s a yearning you’ve been carrying so long it has become a part of you come to life, come to light, and you’re exhaling, you’re leaning in, you’re saying, “Make me.”

And Mickey (Mickey your best friend, Mickey the love of your life, Mickey the guy who says how high when you say jump), does as he always does: He does as you say.

And then the lines aren’t just blurred anymore. You’re pouring water all over them and watch as they fade into nothing, watercolors dripping off the page in steady, sticky streams.

So yeah, maybe you don’t know shit about life, but you do know this: Mickey Garcia is your best friend.

Only, apparently (and now this part you didn’t know), he might also be something more.

[the-witty-pen-name]

Deadbeat Pt. 1

Lee Bodecker x F!Reader

18+ ONLY

Warnings: age gap (reader is 21), smut/masturbation (implied/mild), cursing, abandonment, infatuation, alcohol, cheating, violence?, mild housewife kink? 

Word Count: 4.3k

Summary: You work at the bar at the edge of town, the Sheriff is going through a divorce and needs to rent a room. 

A/N: I’m terrible at writing summaries and I’m so sorry about that! I don’t think I would consider this a dark!fic, but it does cover a lot of themes, and topics that are darker than I usually write about- but I think that comes with the territory of writing about Lee Bodecker. I’ll make sure to update the warnings for each chapter and do not read if you are underage. I also ignored canon for this one.

There are no tags on this one, because no one has specifically asked to be tagged on smut fics and I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable!

I hope you all enjoy!

Tags and Requests are OPEN

“Get out of here Lee,” you spat, pointing to the door he just walked into the bar from. “You swore to Janie you wouldn’t touch a drop.” 

“C’mon (y/n),” he said sitting at the bar anyways, a smug grin on his face, making you scoff. 

“I ain’t having anything to do with you breaking your promise to that lovely woman,” you say confirming your point. You wipe your hands on the towel that was hanging from your apron. 

“Jack and coke?” He asks, looking at you with eyes that would be endearingly puppy dog if it weren’t Lee Bodecker. You shook your head. 

“A coke it is,” you say and he gives up trying for now. He regrets telling you on his last visit he’d be swearing off drinking cause Janie finally threatened to throw him out. 

You slide a glass bottle of Coca-Cola down the length of the bar to Lee and he grinds his teeth slightly. The sugar was always his temporary fix. You also sent down his way a small bowl of roasted peanuts, feeling bad for the mess of a man. 

“She’s gonna leave me anyways,” he grumbles and you shake your head, picking up on his attempts to illicit sympathy to coax you into giving him a drop of anything. 

“Stop giving her a reason to Lee,” you point out, gesturing with your hands to emphasize that he was in the same small bar on the edge of town he always wandered into on weeknights. He’d tell Janie he was on duty but he’d really be down in this little box of a building getting drunk as a stunk. 

“She’s the one who gone and cheated,” Lee said in an angry tone, not towards you, just at his situation. “That Miller fellow living a few miles down from me. I see his truck parked outside my house plenty of times to know he’s not just being neighborly.” 

“I’m sorry Lee,” you say with a genuine tone of sympathy. You felt for him and his pain. You knew the stress of the job he led and the pain of knowing the love of your life don’t love you. 

“She’s going to leave me,” he says, staring intently at the condensation on the bottle in front of him. “I’d been trying so hard for her and our marriage and she’s two timing with the neighbor when I’m out working.” 

“And the thing is I don’t even care if she cheated,” Lee continued, “I’d look the other way if I knew she’d be staying with me. But it’s cause I know she don’t love me anymore. That’s what’s hurting me most.” 

“Maybe y’all can work through this-“ 

“This was inevitable,” he says, cutting you off. You don’t point it out, cause he’s clearly distressed but normally you’d have no problem saying to Lee ‘Fuck you, let me finish Sheriff.’ 

“Do you got somebody?” Lee asks you. The question takes you back cause it wasn’t like the Sheriff to ask your about anything personal. He would come in, and you’d shoot the shit, exchange small talk, maybe some harmless flirting for a larger tip, but that was the extent of it. 

“No, not anymore,” you say, having recently broke things off with your boyfriend. “I was seeing Arvin Russell for a couple months, but we just broke it off.” 

“You’re too good for him anyways,” the sheriff scoffed at the mention of the Russell boy and took another swing from his bottle of pop. “How old are you anyways, sweetheart?” 

“Twenty-one,” you respond, not thinking too much about the nickname. He had a habit of frequently using names like that when he talked to the women in this town. You think it started out as a tactic to win re-election and then it just stuck. He nodded. 

“Yeah you two are around the same age,” he said, more so thinking out loud than it being a statement directed towards you. “Why’d you break it off?” 

“Beat up my brother,” you answered, “Granted, the little shit had it coming. Can’t blame Arvin after I heard how the asshole was bothering that sweet thing Lenora. But he just took it too far. Almost killed the kid. The boy saw red so I got myself out of the picture. You can’t be with a boy who does that to your kin.” 

Lee nodded understandingly. You didn’t interpret his actions or questions as genuine concern or interest in you, but that he was just asking you questions to distract from his marital woes. 

“I’d do so many things different if I could be your age again,” he chuckled in a self-deprecating tone. “I’d sure as hell love to turn back time and have myself go down a better path.” 

“It’s not just you, Sheriff,” you reply after collecting money another man sitting at the bar. You nod as a goodbye to the man, and then curse under your breath when he doesn’t tip you. “Asshole,” you mumble, tossing the few pennies into the tip jar. You walk back over to the sheriff and prop your elbows on the bar. “I’m sure everyone is this town wishes the same thing,” you say, trying to make him feel better. 

“I’d love to just be your age again,” he says with a sigh, and then pops a small handful of the peanuts in his mouth. “Young, got your whole life ahead of you.” 

“I’m not sure working in a place like this is setting me up for great things, Sheriff,” you chuckle moving to wipe the bar in the area where that other customer left. “A woman working as a bartender is equivalent to just being a whore according to the eyes of the Lord... at least in this town,” you laugh, using the towel from your apron to wipe the rings left behind on the countertop from the glasses. 

“Arvin didn’t think so,” Lee countered, trying to make you feel a little better about your position. “I don’t think so. Hell, people in this town are so uptight about things that aren’t their business. You’re young, you need a job and you have one. It’s that simple.” 

“I wish more people in this town thought that way,” you reply with a smile. “That new preacher last Sunday-“ 

“Don’t listen to that asshole,” the Sheriff scoffed, and chuckled when your eyes widened at his derogatory words towards the preacher. “He’s a showboating son of a bitch and he’s as phony as they come.” 

“Those ruffled shirts are the most pretentious thing I ever seen,” you say, letting out a big laugh thinking about when he is giving a sermon in what looks like tacky prom attire. 

“Pay him no mind,” Lee said, bringing the bottle to his grinning lips as he looked at you. “You’re a better person than he is.” 

“I appreciate the sentiment,” you chuckle. 

“Have a goodnight hunny,” another customer at the bar says dropping cash on the table as they leave. “Goodnight Sheriff,” the older man tips his hat and then walks out. 

“Have a goodnight Marvin,” you call after him, “Give my love to Loretta!” You clear the empty glass and drop the cash off in the register. 

While you’re moving around, Lee takes a moment to actually look at you. Any man with eyes knew you were pretty, but he ain’t never noticed before just how attractive you were. His eyes lingered for a moment at how the canvas waist apron extenuated your figure. He couldn’t believe this stunning young thing was stuck in a place like this with a dead end job talking to a deadbeat like him. 

“How long you staying for Sheriff?” You ask suddenly, pulling him out of his trance. 

“Uh, not sure,” he says, looking up at the dingy Luger Beer clock that hung on the wall. “Why sugar?” 

“Seeing as though your sober I was hoping I could trouble you for a ride home?” You ask shyly. 

“Of course,” he said without hesitation. “No trouble at all honey.”

“Thank you, Lee,” you say with a smile, making his heart skip a beat. 

He’d talk to you most weeknights and never had this feeling. Maybe he had but he was too wrapped up in his own troubles to notice it. You were such a sweet girl, and he realized what an injustice it truly was for you to be stuck here. 

The thought crossed his mind very quickly about if he wasn’t married- even though he knew divorce was coming around the corner any day now. If he had met you at a different time in his life if it would’ve been better. Instead of meeting you as an overweight, deadbeat of a sheriff which a drinking problem- he’d met you when he was fresh out of school, same age you are now. You all coulda fallen in love, started a family, and that would’ve been enough to keep him from taking up drinking in the first place. 

He knew from the beginning Janie ain’t ever loved him. Hell, he’s not sure if he ever loved her thinking back on the whole relationship. Lustful, without any sort of promise behind it and they both were users. They used each other. He knew he treated her poorly as poorly as she treated him. He definitely had loved her, that much he knew was true, but now she’s cheating- something Lee never thought of doing at all no matter how many fights they had until the early morning hours.  

As you maneuvered around behind the bar, locking up the liquor and wiping down the machines getting ready to lock up for the night, his mind played little tricks on him. The canvas apron was instead a pinafore, and the bar was his kitchen. He’d loved the sight, thinking about coming home to you instead of what was soon to just be an empty house. 

Hell, he wasn’t even sure if he’d even be the one to keep his house. The idea of finding a new house- buying one for you, and being able to start over sounded like a dream life. Hell, he’d run away from this town right now if you said the word. He’s sure he could secure an election in another town, he had the connections to make it happen. 

“I just got to lock up the office and I’ll be ready to go,” you say, untying your apron. He gulps and nods as confirmation. You disappear in the back room, cash drawer in your arms to lock away in the safe. He heads behind the bar to dispose of his empty bottle and the cardboard tray his peanuts were in. 

You come back, your peacoat buttoned and the sash tied around your waist in a bow you had made. You had a small handbag in one hand, and your work apron in the other. Suddenly, he was nervous and didn’t know how to carry himself around you. Undeniably, the Sheriff was developing a crush. He couldn’t shake the feeling. He wanted to ask you out on a proper date, but he knew with his age and reputation- it wouldn’t be fitting. He was moving way too fast in his own mind to keep up with. Just daydreams, he thought to himself, suppressing the thoughts of a future with you for now.

“Okay,” you said, giving the place one more once over to make sure it was all set. “That does it.”

“After you,” he said, holding the door open for you. You giggled, and once you both were outside, you used your key to lock the front door. He held the door open for you to take the passenger seat in the cruiser. As you buckled your seatbelt, he walked over to the driver’s side and then slide into his seat.

You were a little nervous. You weren’t sure why. This wasn’t the first time you’d asked for a ride home. Usually, it’s never this late. When you close, you usually walk home alone. You definitely didn’t live that far, but again that was more dangerous than getting a ride home.

You realized that you were worried about nothing. You thought maybe some would accuse you of something scandalous, getting a ride home from a man so late. However, this was the Sheriff and the streets didn’t have another car on it at all. The town knew where you worked and if anyone were to see you, they’d know you were closing shift and you asked for a ride to avoid walking home this late alone.

“Thank you again,” you said, starting up a conversation as the sheriff was backing out of the tiny lot that was next to the bar.

“Oh, don’t mention it, hun,” he said, “It’s my job to make sure you get home safe. Your house is the white one at the end of Birch?”

“The very one,” you say, looking out the window. There aren’t any street lights, and the only light for miles is coming from the headlights of the cruiser. You don’t catch Lee stealing glances at you as he starts moving forward.

“How’s your ma doing?” He asks, making conversation.

“Oh, she left,” you said nonchalantly, and it makes Lee’s eyebrow raise in confusion.

“Wait. What?” He asks looking over at you for a second before turning his eyes back to the road.

“Oh, I thought you would’ve heard,” you say softly, your façade of indifference torn down. “She left us about a month ago. Met a man from Columbus and moved in with him. The whole town was talking about it for weeks.”

“So, is it just you and Tommy now?” he asks, wondering what kind of a mother leaves her girl to take care of her high school aged brother on what she makes at the bar.

“Oh, he went with her,” you explain, “House is all mine. After the whole thing with Arvin, she decided to pull him out of school and he goes to school in Columbus now. She wasn’t gonna bring him but after that, she changed her mind.”

“They just left you?”

“I chose to stay.”

“No offense but why would the hell would you chose to do that?” he jokes, making you laugh a little.

“It’s all paid off, and my grandpa left it to me and not her anyways,” you explain. “House has been in my name for three years now. And if we sold the house, she’d just piss the money away. Besides, would you move back in your mother now, Sheriff?”

“No, I can’t say I would want to,” he chuckles.

“So, I’m just supporting myself and that ain’t too bad,” you shrug.

“Sounds lonely,” he comments and you nod in agreement.

“It can be,” you admit, as he turns down your street.

“You ain’t worried living alone?” He asks.

“You tell me, Sheriff,” you joke, “If I got something to worry about it sounds like you’re not doing your job.”

“Ouch,” he says and holds a hand clutching his hand to his heart dramatically. It made you laugh, and it made him smile that he made you laugh. God, he loved your laugh.

“Thank you again, Lee,” you say sincerely, quickly kissing his cheek when he parks in front of your house. The gesture takes him back, and he’s relieved you can’t see how red his face is. He’s almost angry at how flustered you make him and you have no idea. “Have a goodnight,” you say.

“Goodnight, (Y/N),” he says, a little shakily. You get out of the car, and he watches you walk up to the porch, your hips swaying naturally, and he bites his lip. He groans, but at his disappointment in himself for staring again. You disappear behind the front door and he hits his palm on the steering wheel, trying to shake whatever feeling this was.

He reluctantly drove home, not wanting to have to talk or see Janie. He knew he was just heading home to a fight for being out so late, even though he knows she takes full advantage having fucking Miller over. His jaw is locked, angry about a fight he hasn’t even had with her yet. His cheek still tingles from your touch, and he thinks about if he should just leave Janie. He could just leave, get an apartment nearby or something. He doesn’t even care if she gets the damn house. He’s bracing himself for another night of fighting as he pulls into his own driveway and heading up to his own house.

He fumbles with his keys in the dark. He thinks he had the right one, but it doesn’t work. He tries another that is the same shape, still doesn’t work. He intakes a sharp breath and tries the first key again- he’s positive that’s his house key. “Fucking Christ,” he mutters when the key won’t even go into the lock. “Janie!” he shouts, pounding on the front door. She changed the locks.

“Fuck,” he exclaims, stomping down the front steps and walking around to the back door. He tries his keys again with no luck. He pounds into the door hard and incredibly loud. He knows she’s there, upstairs in their bed, ignoring his knocks. He tries the kitchen window, but it’s locked. Every window on the first floor is fucking locked. He curses again and heads back to his cruiser. He slams the door shut and his grip on the wheel is turning his knuckles white. Does she expect him to sleep in his car in the driveway?

He doesn’t even think about where he’s going to go, but he knows damn sure he’s not going to give her the satisfaction of sleeping outside of his house in his cop car for the whole town to talk about. He just pulls out of his driveway and starts driving. He isn’t even thinking about what route he’s driving, it’s like he’s driving on autopilot while he screams out every curse word in existence.

By the time he calms down, he realizes he’s driving down Birch again. His muscles in his body tense, and he thinks back to your conversation when he dropped you off. Your mother and brother were gone, meaning you have two spare bedrooms. He knows he shouldn’t but the temptation is way too overwhelming. He has nowhere else to go. If someone saw his car… well, he’d worry about that tomorrow. Your house is two miles away from your nearest neighbor, settled back at the end of a long dirt road. Someone knowing he was there was unlikely. He had people who could save your name. It was all innocent. Janie kicked him out and he knew you had an extra room. Hell, he’d rent a room from you- Wait. That’s perfect. That solved all of his problems and yours. He knows you were downplaying how hard it must be to keep up with the house and by him paying rent, you could take care of the house. It was a win-win.

He felt so confident now and he was so proud of himself for devising this plan. He parked his car out front and then walked up to your front door, knocking gently. The sound of the knock made him now incredibly nervous. He didn’t want to scare you or for you to think he was trying to take advantage. Granted, there would be a lot more than financial benefits to being able to live with you, which he knew were selfish, but the idea of being able to see you everyday was overwhelming. It was the closest thing to the dream he was wrapped up in back at the bar. He could live out his little pretend domestic bliss, and you’d get the money you need for the house. He knew he was insane and this was probably wildly inappropriate, but he knew you were too kind to turn him away.

You opened the door with a small yawn, a yellow bathrobe secured over your nightgown fully, to keep yourself decent when you answered the door. You were going to call the Sheriff when you heard the rapping at your door so late and ignore the knocks, but looking out the window of your bedroom you saw it was Lee’s cruiser parked outside.

“Lee?” you ask quietly, sleepiness very evident on your mumbled voice.

“Janie kicked me out,” he said softly, “Changed the locks on me. Darling, I’m so sorry for intruding but I have no where else to go.”

“Come in,” you say sympathetically, the news waking you up quite a bit. “Lee, I’m so sorry. You can take my mom’s old room; it’s got an attached bathroom you can use too.”

 “Thank you (Y/N),” he says quietly. You close the door and secure the lock and the chain again as he looks around the house.

“Don’t worry about it,” you insist. “I can take you there. Follow me.”

You walk up the stairs, Lee following closely behind and he’s ashamed that he took the opportunity to just openly check you out again. At the top of the stairs there was a hallway lined with photographs in mismatched frames. You point to the door at the end of the hall.

“That’s the master,” you explain, “There’s a bathroom attached inside if you want to clean up or anything. There’re clothes in the dresser if you want pajamas- should be in the bottom drawer.”

“Okay, thank you,” he replies, looking down at you as you yawn again, and he notices how your hair is a little messy. The sight drives him wild.

“Anything in the kitchen is up for the taking to,” you offer.

“Look, (Y/N),” he says, “I know this isn’t the best time to be talking about this, but I really need a more permanent plan on where to go. I know it sounds crazy and out of the blue, but could I rent that room from you? Name your price. I figured… I really need a new place, and you could probably use another source of income to keep up with the house. Plus, it’s safer than living alone…”

“Um…,” you begin to speak, but you bit your lip, showing that you’re intently thinking about his offer. Everything he said was right. You needed the money, and he was right that living alone was dangerous in this town and living with the sheriff is the safest person there was in the whole town. People would talk, of course, but no one would deny that the circumstances were just ideal for the two of you and nothing more. You were an adult, a homeowner, and it was your business who you rented a room too. “Yeah, I think that makes sense for both of us,” you agree. “We’ll sort out the details tomorrow.”

“Of course,” he says with a smile.

“Alright, um,” you say crossing your arms around your chest awkwardly. “Goodnight, Lee.”

“Goodnight, (Y/N),” Lee responds as you head back into your own bedroom. He let’s out a heavy sigh and heads into your mom’s room- or rather his new room. He’d have to figure out how to get his stuff back from Janie tomorrow. He’d really just need his clothes and some other necessities. 

The room was fairly spacious. There was a closet and dresser. The closet still had some clothes of your mom’s left behind, and for the most part, the room looked fairly intact. It was like she up and left with just a few things. Lee shook his head, angry at how poorly you were treated by your mother. He pulls off his leather jacket, tossing it and his hat onto the bed. He opened up the bottom drawer of the dresser, and just like you said, it was filled with men’s clothing. He concluded they had to belong to the man your mom lived with now, more things just left behind.

He tosses a pair of plaid pajama bottoms and a white t-shirt onto the bed, and then he heads to the bathroom.

In the drawer beside the sink, he finds a new toothbrush still in its packaging, that he opens for himself and drops it in the white toothbrush holder on the counter. The towels are all clean and folded neatly on the shelf above the toilet. He finds a new soap under the sink as well, and decided he needed a shower to just wash off everything of tonight off in hopes he’ll feel better.

He strips of his uniform, folding it nicely knowing he’ll need to wear it all again tomorrow morning. He steps into the shower and turns on the water. The hot water just immediately helps him to loosen the muscles that had been so tense. He lets the warm water run down his face and back, just letting himself enjoy the feeling. He lathers up his body with soap and then it finally hits him that he was here, living with you, and then suddenly he’s hard.

“Fuck,” he mutters, resting his head against the shower wall, the running down his back. He was in so much trouble he realizes. As he beats himself off in the shower, his mind is clouded with thoughts of you. The way the apron at the bar looked around your hips, and the smell of your perfume when you leaned into him. The way your body looked as you paraded yourself around behind the bar. The way you have no problem talking back to him when he walks into the bar after saying he’s off the bottle the night before, just making want to shut you up with a rough kiss. The feeling of your lips on his cheek and he imagines your lips on his neck. He thinks about how your hair looked tousled when you just showed him to his room. He lets himself slip back into that same domestic daydream. You being his wife… married to you instead dealing with this goddamn divorce. The absolute sickening sweet domesticity making him groan, as he imagines his hand is yours. Why on earth did he think he’d be able to do this?

PART TWO

[solarwonux]

Sangyeon x f!reader

W.C: 6.2k

Warnings: alcohol consumption, suggestive themes, arguing, mentions of cheating

For the 12 Months I Loved You Collab by: @sunlightwoo

Note: um...better late than never right?? This was supposed to go up in February but things happen. It’s one of my favorite ones that I’ve written, but I feel like I say that for every single thing I write lmao. I hope you like it plsssss let me know your thoughts. Thank you.xx

A long exasperated sigh left your lips at the sight of Sangyeon in the corner of the reception hall, chatting up a pretty redhead. His arm draped around their waist, clutching their body close to his, their faces close enough to smell the expensive champagne lingering in their breaths. A palm was placed on his chest as he leaned down to whisper something in their ear. Earning a flirtatious giggle from them, along with a sultry nod.

Their delicate fingers wrapped around his black tie as they pulled him close to whisper something against his plump lips. It was your cue to look away, but something inside of you—maybe the five flutes of champagne you had indulged in when the night was still young, prevented you from looking away.

Gripping the body of your sixth flute you prepared for what was to come, though when he smirked and unraveled their fingers from his tie, you let out a sigh of relief. Sangyeon still hasn’t broken rule number three of your friends with benefits arrangement.

As common courtesy for the other party, under absolutely no circumstance you are to hook up with other people.

Though when he ran his fingers down the side of their arm teasingly making them shiver at the feather-like feeling. One you had relished in for many nights on end, you knew he would not only be breaking rule number three but rule number four as well.

As common courtesy for the other party, under absolutely no circumstances you are to hook up with other people, especially when the other party is in the same room.

The anger flourished inside of you like an unwelcome weed. And you knew green was definitely not your color, but you couldn’t help but feel the jealousy take over, running along your veins like bitter poison. Your grip on your champagne flute got tighter. So much so that if you were destined with superhuman strength you would’ve shattered it into pieces, especially when his knowing eyes met yours. A glint of something sinister sparking behind them while his fingers laced with those of the red head.

He turned away before giving them a shy whisper and then tugged them gently towards the door of the reception hall. Leaving you behind in the middle of his best friend’s wedding reception, on your sixth flute of champagne, while you broke rule number six.

Don’t catch feelings for the other party involved.

To be fair when you and Sangyeon had agreed to the terms and conditions of your new no strings attached relationship. You were positive, even overly confident that you weren’t going to be the one to fall for your brother's asshole friend.

You had known him for years, grew up with him. He always made it his mission to make your life a living hell. Whether it was purple food coloring in your hair conditioner back in middle school (you had an odd mixture of purple and red that had somehow turned a nasty shade of burgundy in your hair for almost a year as you grew it out enough to cut off the damage,) or calling you ugly while simultaneously including all the the synonyms. He had made your life a living hell, he had been the reason for your tears whenever your insecurities took over. And he had been the reason for your newfound jealousy now as you sat on your couch a week after your brother's wedding still replaying the scene back in your head like a bad old timely movie.

It had started when two of you got drunk on Christmas Eve, laughing boisterously at your nonexistent love life’s.

“Who knew the reason we would be bonding is because we haven’t gotten laid in months.” He said, throwing his head back, gulping the remnants of his beer.

”For your information, I got laid last week. But I’m not bringing my one night stand to meet my family.” You rolled your eyes, bumping your shoulder against his.

He sets the beer bottle to his side, before leaning his elbows on his knees and gazing over at you. “How many people asked you where your date was tonight?”

“Too many.” You sigh, running your finger along the condensation of your own beer bottle. The memories of yours and Sangyeon’s family coming up to you asking you the million dollar question still prevalent in your mind. “You?”

“Not as many as I expected but still a lot. I just wish maybe they can back off.” He leaned back, placing his elbows behind him. He tore his eyes from your form and focused them on the night sky. “Maybe I should’ve hired a date or something.” He comments.

Your family's holiday party was still bustling behind the front door of your childhood home. Yet, the thought of ever going back in, earning judgmental looks from your single aunts was keeping you away.

He was right, maybe you should’ve hired someone as a date for the night.

Sangyeon bumped his knee against yours gently, “Want to date for the holiday’s?” The question came off as a joke, his sweet and gentle laugh following it. But as you sat there contemplating the idea, you realized that it wasn’t as bad. He was practically family. Your parents and his parents had been trying for years to set the two of you up. If you were to show up on New Year’s with your arm looped in his, no one would bat an eyelash. In fact you were willing to bet money that your mom and his would start crying pure tears of joy.

“Why not?” You shrug, “Our parents have been planning our wedding since we were kids, and as much as we don’t like each other. In some twisted sense of the word I do trust you.” Sangyeon did a double take, sitting up straighter and leaning in just enough to be in your line of sight.

“Are you sure?” Concern washed over his features. His bottom lip found its way in between his teeth as he waited for your response. “Like, you want to date me for the holiday’s?” He asked pleading for reassurance. Despite the relationship between the two of you not making sense to anyone outside your friendship circle, the level of trust and respect for each other’s boundaries was evident. You two pushed each other, got under each other’s skin, but you also knew when to stop. Which is why this plan was perfect. Foolproof.

“Yes.”

And somehow the two of you agreed that from then until further notice you would be each other’s dates for every holiday in the near future. Yet, if you had known the outcome of it you wouldn’t have agreed, especially not when the thin threshold had been crossed on your birthday.

He had showed up with a cheap bottle of vodka, all the romantic comedies he could find at the gas station and a boyish smile. His lips were on yours after five shots of the drinking game you had invented and you were naked underneath him after seven.

“I’m just saying, adding sex into the mix wouldn’t be such a bad idea.” He proposed with a shrug during a very awkward hang over filled coffee talk at the rundown cafe the next day. “We can even add some rules so it wouldn’t be so weird.”

“Adding rules is the weird part, Sangyeon.” You rolled your eyes before taking a sip of your herbal green tea and then cringing at the taste. “But they would help...you know to keep things from getting messy.”

“Then it’s settled.” He smiled widely grabbing the kids menu you had ordered from and a red crayon, scribbling down messily in his almost indescifrable handwriting:

Holi-date No Strings Attached Rule Book

Can I come over tonight.xx

Your eyes roll to the back of your head in annoyance, upon reading the text from Sangyeon. Of course, he hadn’t contacted you for over a week and the only time he decides to do so is when he’s in need of a good fuck. You throw your phone down on the table, resting your forehead against it. An annoyed sound falling out of your lips.

“Hello there negative nancy,” Kevin says, slipping into the seat in front of you. “I got you your favorite.” He sings, placing the iced matcha green tea latte in front of you and flicking the top of your head to get your attention.

You whine, lifting your head up a pout evident on your lips as you break the seal of the plastic lid with your paper straw. A poor attempt to reduce the consumption of plastic. Changing the straw wouldn’t do anything for the Earth when your whole cup is made out of non-biodegradable plastic. Maybe it’s the effort and the thought that counts, either way you take a sip from your drink, savoring the taste as it coats your tastebuds. Letting the false promise of a full six hour surge of energy run down your throat.

“Thank you for buying today.” You nod.

“It’s the least I can do for helping me with the web design project.” He smiles an award winning smile before bringing his hot mug of black coffee up to his lips. Hissing from the heat and cringing at the taste. Just like how he couldn't phantom how you liked the vibrant green liquid, you couldn’t understand how he drank five cups of black coffee daily. Indeed, he was not human, you concluded that a couple years ago.

You shrug, wrapping your fingers around the cup, “I had time to spare, but don’t get too comfortable with my help. It’s rare that I finish my work early.” You point an accusatory finger at him, furrowing your eyebrows before breaking into a wide smile.

“Ehh,” Kevin shrugs, “we’ll see about that when you’re begging me to buy you one of those nasty vomit colored drinks in a week.” He finishes sending you a wink that usually has all the girls and guys weak in the knees. You on the other hand have been so accustomed to his flirty ways after years of working side by side that it did nothing to you but annoy you slightly, yet in some odd way it comforted you.

Since day one everything between you and Kevin was comfortable and easy. He sat next to you in your digital marketing class Sophomore year of college and the two of you had been inseparable ever since. For a while you harbored a fat silent crush on him, his flirting being a point of confusion for you back then. It wasn’t until you experienced first hand what dating Kevin would be like that your crush dissipated into nothing but a platonic kind of love.

It was awful, the two of you had only gone on two dates. Two very disastrous and nightmare inducing dates, that sent shivers up both of your spines when just the mere thought of it entered the front lobe of your brains. It was then, while attempting to wash out a red wine stain out of your white dress in his and Jacob’s kitchen that you both agreed to just being friends. Eventually leading up to being coworkers as well.

It was a shame, you could always see yourself possibly loving Kevin and it would be easy too. And as much as you’d like to imagine it sometimes, he wouldn’t be able to give you what you wanted and vice versa.

“How’s the boyfriend, trouble in paradise yet?” He raises his eyebrow at you, hitting your calf lightly with the tip of his dress shoe.

You groan, running a hand through your hair, “Sangyeon is not my boyfriend, we just hang out sometimes.”

You quirks an eyebrow, smirking, “That’s what I said about Jacob and I, and look at us now.” He raises his left hand wiggling his ring ringer, letting the gold band catch the light of the setting sun. “Till death do us apart or something like that.” He shrugs, taking another sip from his coffee.

“Yeah but you two are perfect for each other, Sangyeon and I are like water and oil we don’t mix unless, well...you know.”

“Unless the two of you are fucking? Yes I am aware, the horror of me walking in on the two of you last month still keeps me up at night.” He shudders, pushing his half empty mug away from him. A disgusted look on his face.

“Ugh,” you put your head in your hands in utter despair, “I thought we agreed to forget about that and move on.”

“Fine I won’t bring it up again,” He rolls his eyes and sits back, crossing his arms in front of him. “But I know there’s trouble in paradise, does it have to do with what happened at the reception?”

You stare at him with wide eyes. It wasn’t just the events that took place at the reception. It was everything before the reception, during the reception and after the reception. You swore to yourself and him the morning after the two of you first accidentally slept together that you would never fall for him. But as it turns out, you had fallen for him long before that, a moment lost in time. A moment you couldn’t pinpoint but you just knew that what you felt for him was more than platonic. It sucked.

“Maybe,” you shrug, stirring the contents of your drink with your paper straw, distracting you and avoiding Kevin’s look of concern. “Honestly, I’m not sure. He’s just so frustrating. We agreed to have rules to make this whole fucked up situation less of a mess, but he broke two of those rules that night, purposely. I could tell that he was enjoying it.” You let out a defeated sigh and push your drink out of the way, bringing your arms to rest on top of the table, crossing them and hiding your face in them. You couldn’t pinpoint the exact emotion you were feeling, but you just knew it was bad from the way your throat closed up and the tears that were brimming in the corner of your eyes.

Kevin hummed and leaned forward onto the table, ruffling your hair in the process. “And what rule have you broken?” He whispers.

“The one in which I wasn’t supposed to fall for him.” You lift your head, digging your palms into your eyes forcefully. “I didn’t want to, I still don’t want to, but I can’t stop. It’s like he’s casted some kind of love spell on me. Maybe it’s part of his evil plan to destroy me once and for all.” You sigh, grabbing your phone and turning it over. The text sitting there unread, haunting you.

“Don’t answer it.” Kevin covers your screen with his hand. The sadness he held for you is evident behind his soft eyes. “I know you want to but don’t answer it. It’s only going to make you feel worse and frankly I still hate seeing you cry.”

He’s right. Answering him would only make you feel smaller than you already do. You didn’t want to see him, but you longed to have him hold you even if it meant nothing to him. You push Kevin’s hand away, swiping your thumb over the text, hitting reply. You know you should listen to your best friend, but there’s a reason why the two of you would’ve never made it far in a romantic relationship.

You were stubborn and never listened.

8pm, don’t be late. I have to wake up early tomorrow.

Kevin sighs, shaking his head in disappointment, falling back in his chair, scoffing. “Last time, tonight will be the last time and then we break it off.” You say, avoiding his eyes.

“That’s exactly what I said and I ended up having a shotgun wedding.”

Can’t wait, miss you.xx

“My job’s having an event for Valentine’s Day.” Sangyeon broke the silence, his chest still rising rapidly, matching yours. As you came down from your highs.

The second he had walked in through your front door he was pinning you against your poor excuse of a dining room table, without a proper greeting. He barely gave you a second to think before he was peeling your clothes off in a haste and carrying you off to your room.

“And you want me to go with you?” You turn your head to face him. He was laying down on his side, his head resting on his arm, watching you cautiously.

“Mhm,” He puts his arm around your waist and pulls you close. “I need a plus one, I have this annoying coworker that doesn’t leave me alone. I figured if I brought you along they would back off.”

“So I’m not just your date, but also your cockblock?” You tilt your head to the side, raising your eyebrow. “What happens when they find out we aren’t actually dating?” You poke his chest with your index finger. It was smooth and muscular and decorated with the beautiful marks you left behind a few minutes ago.

“They won’t.” He smiled leaving a light kiss against your neck, trailing his lips up and sucking on the spot he knew would have you moaning in seconds. “What do you say?” He bites your earlobe, pulling it before sitting up again.

You sigh and bring your sheets up to your body, sitting up. “I can't, I have plans already.” You lie hugging your knees up to your chest. You wanted to go, pretend once more that you and Sangyeon were more than holiday dates and fuck buddies. But you couldn’t put yourself through that anymore. You were getting used to being by his side, living out a fantasy in your head. When all he wanted was a quick fuck and an easy pass.

“I have a date, Kevin and Jacob’s friend.” You shrug, closing your eyes, mentally apologizing to the couple for dragging them into your problem’s once again. “We’re going out to dinner.” You finish, opening your eyes and looking over at Sangyeon who laid there, messy hair decorating his pillows, stunned. You knew what he was thinking and you were just waiting for him to say it. To get it over with so he’d leave as fast he came in.

He chewed on his bottom lip and then scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief. “Oh, what about rule number seven or whatever.” He quickly got up from your bed, letting the sheets covering his lower half fall down to your carpeted floor.

As common courtesy for the other party, under absolutely no circumstances you are to date other people, until officially calling the deal off.

“Well, I don’t know. I like him. We’ve been talking for a while now and he’s sweet. He likes me.” You shrug, watching as he walks around your room looking for his discarded clothes. “And I haven’t broken the rule, yet. I was hoping we could talk about it and just call this whole thing off once and for all.”

“No but you broke rule number one or something.” He puts on his boxers fast and digs through your scattered clothes on your floor for the rest of his clothes.

You sat there silently watching him, running through your memory files as you recalled the rules and what rule number one consisted of which had nothing to do with what you had done. Or lied about doing.

As common courtesy for the other party, always use protection.

“That’s not what rule number one is, it’s -”

“Whatever, you broke a rule before calling it quits, you were basically cheating on me.” He yells, leaving his white washed jeans unbuttoned as he runs a frustrated hand through his hair. You were floored, witnessing an angry Sangyeon wasn’t rare for you. In fact, growing up you had been the product of many of his angry outbursts while inducing your revenge, but it was never serious. This was different. This felt different. This was serious, he was accusing you of something you didn’t do. He was accusing you of doing the one thing you saw him do at your brother’s wedding reception. It made your blood boil.

“That’s fucking rich coming from you, when you cheated on me first, but I never brought it up because although you fucking did break a rule. We are not together so who am I to get angry at you?” You threw your hands up in the hair, before pointing an accusatory finger at him. “Who are you to get angry with me?”

“And they were a good fucking lay, much better than you in every single aspect.” He spits out, angrily putting on his shirt. His words hurt. He was hitting you where it hurts the most and he wasn’t even aware of it. You held his gaze, refusing to break down in front of him.

“Why not ask them instead, why didn’t you go to them tonight instead of coming here?”

He shrugs, looking around your room, focusing on the polaroid pictures you kept on your mirror. Anything was better than looking at you, and the tears pooling in yours in which he undoubtedly was the cause of. But he was hurt too, you let him come over, you let him in and he had given you everything. Poured out his unwarranted feelings into every kiss he left on your body and every pattern he painted onto your skin with his delicate fingertips, just like he always did whenever the two of you got together. He knew he had broken rule number six a long time ago. Back when the two of you were still in high school, when the rules didn’t exist and his crush on you was nothing compared to what he felt for you now. But he was scared of telling you, and it had gotten him nowhere.

His heart still broke just like he feared, and even worse he had broken yours too.

“Maybe I should, this was a mistake. Being with you in the first place was a mistake and I knew it was going to bite me in the ass one day.”

“Get out, I never want to see you again.”

“With pleasure.” Sangyeon turns around and walks out the door. It wasn’t until you heard your front door slam shut that you finally let yourself cry.

You should’ve listened to Kevin.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?” Jacob pulls his scarf around his neck. Though, it was February it had snowed last night. The winter clothes that you had slowly started putting away, swiftly made their comeback when you woke up shivering that morning.

You shake your head, stuffing the heart shaped cake you had made for both him and Kevin the day before. Be mine inscribed in sparkly purple store bought icing as per request from Jacob, “It’s Valentine’s Day, you should spend it alone together.” You raise your eyebrows suggestively at the two men in front of you.

Kevin leans forward, one hand on his waist while the other one moves up and flicks your forehead, “get that pretty head of yours out of the gutter, Jacob and I are gonna romantically eat our weight in this beautiful cake you’ve made us, while watching the Bring it On series.”

“I’m trying to get him to realize why the third one is the best.” Jacob says pointedly, bumping his shoulder against his husbands. “Solange Knowles steals the show, but he doesn’t want to admit it.”

Kevin scoffs and turns to face him, “I love you and I love your love for the Knowles family but face it babe the best Bring it On movie is the first one, it sets the precedent for all the other movies.” He finishes painting the picture out with his hands in the air before kissing the others cheek.

You shake your head, silently giving Jacob a knowing look. Of course the third Bring it On was the best one, but you won’t ever say that out loud. At least not with Kevin present, he won’t ever let you live it down. Will go on and on about how both you and Jacob were wrong until he was repeating himself.

“It sounds tempting but I’m going to pass, I have my own date with my couch and heart shaped pizza and -”

“Your vibrator.” Kevin interrupts, raising his eyebrows, smiling smugly at you. The embarrassment taking over your body and rising out of your ears. Jacob rolled his eyes, hitting his husband’s upside the head, and a warning look. Kevin pouted, “What? I’m not wrong, that's what she does every Valentine’s day, I’m just stating the truth.” He complains rubbing the back of his head.

“We’re going to go now.” Jacob places both of his arms on top of Kevin’s shoulders, mouthing a sorry in the process. You brush him off, “the offer still stands, if you get bored you can join us.” He opens the door and pushes his husband through the door frame.

“I’m good, have fun and no Kevin you can’t sleep on my couch after Jacob’s kicked you out again.”

“Wasn’t planning on it, last time, I walked in on you and San -”

Jacob covers his mouth with wide eyes as he continues to push him out of your front door, Kevin shrinks at the realization that he almost slipped. It had been three weeks since you last met him, since he last reached out to you. The only thing you knew of him was that your mom had called you to tell you that he had finally gotten the promotion he had been desiring for almost a year. Doting over him like she always did. It had gotten worse when the two of you showed up hand in hand at New Year’s last year. You were proud of him. You wanted to hug him and celebrate his achievement in every which way you could. But you meant it when you told him that you didn’t want to see him again. You couldn’t trust yourself or your heart when it came to him.

“We love you, call us if you need anything.” Jacob said, sending you a kiss and shutting your front door. You smiled, listening to their bickering out in the hallway, standing there until they were far away and you couldn’t hear them anymore. They were characters, the two of them and even worse when they were together. It was why they were so perfect for one another, they completed one another in every sense of the word and it made you insanely happy, but also sad.

Sometimes you wished, whenever you were alone at night and staring up at your popcorn ceiling that you could have what they had with someone that loved you to the point in which they couldn’t live without you.

It will come, at least that what you told yourself whenever the tears stopped. You just had to be patient.

You were halfway through an episode of the Vampire Diaries, and your fourth slice of pizza when the knocking on your front door sounded. You rolled your eyes, quickly pausing your show and setting down your half eaten pizza slice in the box, before standing up. You obviously weren’t expecting anyone but you figured it was Kevin after getting kicked out again. It was never serious, this game both he and Jacob played. It was some form of twisted foreplay thing they did to keep things interesting. They had explained it to you once when you shared your concern for their relationship. Sometimes you wished you hadn’t asked. You could’ve gone living your life peacefully without knowing the details of their sex life.

“I’m going!” The knocking became more desperate the closer you got to the door, and it confused you. Maybe this wasn’t part of their roleplay fantasies and something had actually happened. It worried you. You could feel it all over your body as you grabbed hold of your doorknob. “Kevin is something wro-” You stopped mid sentence when you swung your door wide open revealing a very drunk and disheveled Sangyeon.

You brought your hand up to your chest, holding onto the necklace his family had given you back in highschool as a graduation present. You never took it off, it brought a sense of comfort whenever you were caught in situations that had your anxiety spiraling out of control. Situations similar to this one.

“What are you doing here?” You step aside to give him room to enter, inviting him in without a shadow of a doubt. You shouldn’t have done that, but the part of you that will always care for him was stronger than the part of you that wanted nothing to do with him.

“We agreed to be together every single holiday season and it’s Valentine’s Day.” He say, his voice slurring slightly at the end, evident that he had consumed more alcohol than what he could handle. “I can’t leave you alone on Valentine’s Day.” He finishes, his voice turning small at the end. He ran a shaking hand through his hair causing it to stand up in different directions as he paced through your living room.

You pressed your hands up to your cheeks, letting the coldness of your palms relieve the heat that had suddenly overtaken your body. “B-But we broke things off, we don’t have to do this anymore.” You drop your hands down and point at him and then at yourself, swallowing the lump that was forming in the back of your throat. “Don’t you have an event at work? What are you doing here?”

Sangyeon looks down, taking his lips in between his teeth, “I didn’t go.” He whispers before raising his head, his eyes welling up with tears as he stuffed his trembling hands into the pocket of his white washed jeans. You swore he didn’t own another pair. “I couldn’t go without you. I-I want to spend Valentine’s Day with you and the rest of upcoming holidays...But I also want to take you out on dates and binge watch shows with you and make love to you and hold you while you sleep. I want to wake up with you in my arms, and kiss you while you’re complaining about morning breath and make you breakfast.” He takes a shuddering deep breath before sitting down on the armrest of your couch, digging his thumb into the palm of his hands. “I just want to be with you forever.” He says, clearing his throat before letting the few tears he had been keeping fall.

“Sangyeon I-” You looked around your living room frantically. Your heart was beating out of your chest. The words that had fallen out of Sanyeon’s lips with ease were the last thing you had expected to ever hear him say. It was everything you had longed to hear him say for almost a year now and you didn’t know how to react. Should you tell him to leave to give you some space to take everything in? Or should you run up to him and kiss with all the love and passion you harbored for him? You were caught at the crossroads. was overwhelming.

Sangyeon scoffed, shaking his head before raising it again, turning his head to focus on your tv, avoiding your eyes. “You don’t have to say anything. I know you don’t feel the same way, I just couldn’t keep it in anymore. I’ve been in love with you since we were kids and I don’t know when you told me that you were seeing someone. I was so angry at myself for never being able to just confess and hurt that I had been too late.”

The air in your lungs caught itself in the back of your throat. You walked towards him quickly crouching down in front of him, taking his hands in yours. “Sangyeon look at me.” You swallowed, placing two of your fingers underneath his chin and guiding his head to face you, finally locking eyes with you. You felt so weak and full of energy, ready to kiss him until the two of you died from lack of air and you wanted to laugh. “We’re so stupid Sangyeon. This entire time I thought you only wanted me for sex while I slowly fell for you and now you’re telling me that you had the hots for me since we were kids...wow.” You smile, swiping your thumb underneath his eyelids wiping away his falling tears. “I’ve loved for a long time. I don’t know when I started to love you. Just that when I realized it I couldn’t stop.”

“‘I’m sorry.” He hiccups, his fingers wrapping around your wrist. “I’m sorry for what I did at your brother’s reception, but I swear on my grave that nothing happened between us. They were drunk so I called them an uber and walked them to their ride when it arrived.” He confesses, leaning down and circling his arms around your waist, guiding you to stand up.

He rests his forehead against your stomach sighing. “There’s never been anyone else for me other than you. You make me feel so stupid and frustrated sometimes. I know I shouldn’t have said the things I did that night, like you said I had no right to bud into your love life and being angry is no excuse but I was scared of losing you.” He looks up, his bright eyes pleading. “I’m still scared of losing you.”

You sniffle, bringing your hand up to his head, letting your fingers thread through his already messy hair, “I’m sorry too for lying. Clearly I had no plans.” You laugh lightly, pointing around your living room. “I had somehow convinced myself that lying about seeing someone else would be an easier way to end things, but it hurt so much seeing you leave knowing that there was a possibility I would never see you again.”

Sangyeon laughs, his shoulders shaking gently before he leaves a chaste kiss against your clothed stomach. “Honestly, that would be impossible, we’ve been practically married since the minute we entered this world.” He stands up, towering a couple inches over you, “If I hadn’t come tonight our moms would have forced us to talk sooner or later, I just got a little too drunk and beat them to it.” He presses a kiss against your head before pulling you into a tight hug, sighing happily. “I never want to be without you.”

You nod against his chest, “Will you remember this tomorrow?” It was a thought that had been running through your mind since his confession hit you full force knocking the wind out of your body. Though the few times you had a drunk Sangyeon in your presence he remembered every single tiny detail the next day. This was just your fear taking full charge at the thought of him waking up next to you confused, and walking out again.

He hummed, smoothing his hands down your back. “I’ll write everything that happened down and in detail. I’ll even describe the look on your face when I told you that I loved you. Which by the way have I told you that I love you...a lot.” He teased, leaning back and wiggling his brows.

You leave a light kiss on his chin before pulling away, unraveling his arms from your body. “I love you too.” You walked around him and sat on the couch picking up the remote. “Want to join me?” You tilt your head, your thumb hovering over the play button.

Sangyeon pouts slightly, copying your movements and sitting down next to you. “I haven’t asked you to be my official girlfriend yet.”

“Ask me in the morning, I want you to ask me when you’re sober.” You smile, kissing his lips lightly and wrapping your arm around his waist, leaning your head against his chest.

He makes a sound of approval, placing his arm around your shoulder, “Okay but I have another confession before you press play.”

“What is it?” You press your cheek against his chest before looking up at him confused.

“I already watched this episode, Elena and Damon get into a fight.”

“Don’t they always.”

“Yeah but I don’t want to watch it again.”

You shrug and press play, “Unfortunately, you have infiltrated my Valentine’s Day plans so you’re stuck watching.”

“I did it in the name of love.” He groans, shifting and pulling one of your legs over his lap, holding you closer, as the snarky remarks between the two characters start, sounding loudly through the speakers he had helped install when you first moved into your place three years ago. He almost told you he loved you that day, but then you had put an ice cube down his back and his mind instantly started thinking of ways to get his revenge. His confession hiding away again.

But now it was out in the open and finally he could love you the way he knew he could. The way you deserved.

“And I wouldn’t have had it any other way.”

[thessalian]

Thess vs TLoVM Ep 11

So for the various people who’ve been liking, reblogging, and occasionally following me because of these - hello, and welcome to Thess vs the World. Grab a beanbag, grab a drink (wet bar and kettle off to your left), and enjoy. And for now, liveblogging Ep 11.

Nice clock. Betting Ripley built that thing. Which is kind of awful when you think about it, given Percy wanted to be a clockmaker. Ripley is what Percy could have been, could still be. They are the perfect foil for each other. Which is probably why she’s the one that killed him ... what, three times?

...Oh that ain’t good. Scanlan has the right idea. ...SCANLAN YOU KNOW ABOUT THE FUCKING PLANES SHUT UP. I mean, yay Keyleth having a moment, but COME ON.

Yeah, the Briarwoods are like if Gomez and Morticia Addams went 100% hardcore. I’m just saying.

...Okay, so I have to wonder if that’s Grog not really wanting to take on Sylas again after what happened the last time they did battle. I mean, he probably does and doesn’t. I guess that’s why Pike’s giving him a bit of encouragement. Grog often seems to figure in this that if he’s got Pike with him, he can do anything. ...And all things considered, he’s probably right.

Oh. Oh, that struggle with Orthax is awesome. I wish I’d been sitting in whatever writer’s room the gang shared with the writers to hear what Taliesin’s input was on this one. Wait - who did write this one? ...Eugene Son, works on a lot of Marvel animation and comics ... and Travis. Oh gods, now I want to meet Travis even more; the man can write too? I love writers. I want to talk shop with them and ask them questions about specifics and ... well, generally hug them to bits. Do not underestimate the amount I appreciate the people who give me my best-loved entertainment. Stories are my thing. Anyway.

Oh, Cassandra, ouch. Since I do know you survive this, I imagine any lover or spouse you ever take is going to have to stay away from neck-nibbles or you’re going to go demented with PTSD flashbacks. That or you’ll end up being way more into it than you want to be and that’s a whole different bunch of problems. Tal’dorei needs therapists.

This is actually a phenomenal fight scene. Good showcase of people’s abilities and ... nice visual representation of the Silence spell! Also ... get fucked, Briarwoods.

Yeah, Scanlan, the crush on Pike always made sense but right now? Total, perfect, unbelievable sense. That - even by my untrained ace eye - is hot.

Okay, yeah, the coming to her senses briefly, there may or may not be tears.

(No, okay, there are totally tears and there is no shame in that.)

Oh FUCK YOU SYLAS THEY WERE HAVING A MOMENT.

Go, Keyleth! That was epic. And yeah, on balance, I’m glad we don’t have Stoner-Bro Sun Tree. Loved it in game; but when it’s condensed like this, it’d do weird things to the narrative flow and mood.

“Will you stop hitting me?!?” I’m sorry, Vax, but I think she deserves at least one or two good punches for that dagger through the shoulder. And, y’know, retroactive payback for some armour thievery resulting in the wreck of a resort hotel room a year or so from now.

Grog learns from Vax, apparently. I admit I kind of love how playing on latant homophobia has let them win over two opponents so far in this, just by sheer confusion if nothing else.

Yeah, don’t like the taste of your own medicine that much, do you, Delilah? And Scanlan ... perfect comeback. Not too much, not overegging the pudding. Brilliant.

Well. That’s a sunburn. Poor Grog. Then again, I’m a little unhappy that we still don’t get to see “I want to make him eat a bag of holy dicks”.

...Oh, come on, Percthax. Kill-stealing is not a thing in team PVP unless you’re an asshole who uses their kill count as compensation for ... other, more pants-related deficiencies. Just be happy he’s dead. Not sure a bullet could have killed him anyway.

Aw, they kept “I broke the world for us”. Good.

Starting to regret some of the bullshit you were talking about Kiki now, aren’t you, Vex? Also NOOOO. (I mean, I know she’s gonna be okay but still.)

Oh, right, this is the “There is no magic in this room now because spinny black death ball so heals not a thing” thing. If I recall correctly, it was Vex who was nearly dead and Marisha banging on the table chanting “Get her out of the room - get her out of the room - get her out of the room” so this is an interesting take on that. Then again, cartoon - in RPGs, things just happen (sometimes more narratively appropriate than others, but more often more narratively appropriate than others would think improv RPG stuff could be, though that’s generally the sign of a good DM and good players all with a good feel for a narrative line); in cartoons, writers tend to like being a little more direct. Something to do with a compressed time scale.

I wonder how or if they’re going to manage that bit where Vex shot a clairvoyance arrow through that thing and a Nat 20 gave her a clue that they could keep in their minds for the Whispered One Ascened arc later. I kind of hope they don’t include the bit where Keyleth touched the spinny death orb and nearly ripped her godsdamned hand off. Keyleth’s had enough today.

Right! Short break, possibly food, definitely more coffee, and then the finale.

[freebooter4ever]

I couldnt sit there typing like an asshole so these are from memory:

Gutierrez described his most formative 'epic' movie experience: seeing the third star wars movie in theaters in mexico with his dad. He was six and couldn't read the subtitles fast enough so his dad was translating the engilsh and whispering to him the lines as the movie was happening. When the darth vader 'luke i am your father' scene happened, the entire theater gasped and Gutierrez's father was staring at the screen open mouthed forgetting to translate, and he's trying to get his dad's attention like 'what happend, what happened?'. As his father explains, suddenly the theater starts rumbling and shaking - an earthquake. And everybody jumps up to run out, and his father holds little Gutierrez up like the lion king above all the other heads, so he can continue watching the movie as they leave for safety.

I especially loved how they (the whole Maya and the Three crew) defined and diferentiated 'epics' versus regular movies or tv. There was a lot of talk of mythology and history and connection to culture/past. And also erasure of history by the european invaders. And how when trying to draw upon that history, if there's not a lot of 'concrete' evidence, a person relies a lot on personal history, a lot on emotional connections and personal relationship to the past. But also that part of this mystery and ability to invent and make things larger than life is what makes myths so compelling.

On a lighter note, he also discussed writing actors names into the script so he can approach actors with "I wrote this for you". Zoe Saldana was told about the Mesoamerican princess story on the red carpet for the Book of Life while she was pregnant once the script is done (with their names in it). But his usual approach is to DM actors via twitter. An example he gave was messaging Diego Luna like 'I wrote you this part. Look at how badass this character is. Please do this. If you love the children of Mexico, you must do this."

I absolutely loved that this is how you hook Diego in - appeal to his compassion for bettering the next generation of his homeland. With a healthy dose of guilt. It totally tracks with everything Diego stands for publically and his relentless quiet activism.

At one point Gutierrez mentioned that his goals in Epics is to make it extremely moving and heart wrenching and get people to cry. But also to include a lot of laughter. And that was totally Maya and the Three for me - I remember many many moments where I was shocked that I was laughing out loud at this very serious adventure story. And I definitely full on sobbed at the end. It was so beautiful - the characters went through so much in such a condensed amount of time, but everything came together perfectly. Nothing was surprising to me, but I cried at how well it ended.

[beesmygod]

twin peaks huh (nodding) twin peaks...

ive had this in the tank for 23 days and i just got done with a lot of work and im very high so let me ramble.

what a wonderful series, frankly, lol. uneven at parts, mired in some "of the time" stuff or stuff that is just wildly out there (the arc with ben and the confederate army????). but, as a whole, a gorgeous and emotionally devastating ride worth the payoff. i really really liked it lol it was honestly the kind of story i needed to see right now. it gave me a lot of what i wanted.

i guess we'll address the elephants in the room. if i dont mention this kind of stuff i guess it would be remiss but its not like they're scathing indictments. any criticisms i have couldn't detract from the enjoyment i got from it. they're just like things you notice as you're watching it.

my friend put it perfectly when they said that lynch writes "mentally ill sex worker" characters compassionately and he can also write "shrill housewife" but he sort of struggles with any women outside of those parameters lol. norma's entire arcs revolve around her dating life, shelley is trapped in a cycle of violence and abuse...the woman who has the happiest ending is nadine lol. god remember that scene where she comes running down the hallway at ed and its the scariest thing in the fucking world even though its just to hug him. remember how bad her story was. wow i forgot about her teen hulk shit until right now.

it is inelegant and graceless at times. the episodes directed by lynch shine like diamonds among a sea of pretty good to god awful episodes. my opinions align with literally everyone else: the second half of the second season is really, really bad. we trudged through it knowing that after it ended it couldn't hurt us anymore. but good lord lol. that shit sucked. at least the last episode was cool?

seasons 1, 2 and fwww feel slightly disconnected. i didnt enjoy parts of fwww because they left me wanting in a bad way. the only scenes with coop esp are agonizing in how vague and deliberately obtuse they are. it is only by the third season's grace that the scene was retroactively justified. but as the third season taught me: lynch is going to tell the fucking story he wants. he doesn't give a fuck what i want. and i loved it. thank god i wasn't pandered to i was stupid as shit dude. the ride he took me on was so fulfilling and gratifying.

spoilers and asshole analysis now:

im glad to see im not the only one who read it as a story about the cycles of abuse. the implications of the more surreal parts of the show felt to me like they were implying the cosmic battle of good vs evil had been condensed down to the palmer family and cooper. honestly i wish i was in college so i could write a whole embarrassing paper about this shit.

the show has some interesting things to say about lynch's idea of what evil is and where it comes from. i dont think the meaning is as literal as the shows visuals imply, but its the idea that both of the villains are spawned from what i would assume the author is positing as the most vile and despicable acts committed by humanity leaves us twisting in the wind with how to solve the problems presented by this narrative. and the narrative itself just echoes back "how? how can you?" great question. i uh. uh. i guess dont do it in the first place. welp.

how do you stop the cycle of abuse humanity inflicts on each other? is it possible? what if everything changes but everything stays the same? you know what i mean...? or is this just nutso shit.

anyway: rip jack nance you were the best pete forever petesquad