#also love the slight bloom-type effect (?) over everything. it's nice

[fandom-trash-247]

Nothing Feels Better Than This

Listen to “Better” by Khalid as you listen to this, it’ll make the story better.

Feel free to leave constructive criticism in the comments, as I’ve never written for Yancy before but I’m willing to learn. As always, I don’t own anything having to do with AHWM except for this story. Enjoy!

===

You knew leaving him behind was going to be hard, but at the time you knew you couldn’t stay. There was still so much you had to do with the box and Mark, and you weren’t ready to settle down anywhere, nonetheless in a prison. 

Watching him leave to go back to his cell hurt. You could feel your heart hurt as you turned away from him, unable to keep watching him leave, just as you were leaving him. 

Once he was out of sight you opened the box, and the skeleton key now in your hand was practically taunting you. There had been a way for you both to get out, and now you wouldn’t be able to use it. Looking back at the gate one more time, you debated on going back for him. For Yancy. But you knew that no matter how comfortable prison life would be with him, you would just feel stuck. Settling down in one spot wasn’t for you. Not yet at least. So you turned and walked away, feeling just as much a prisoner of your own heart as you were a free person.

---

That had been years ago. Not many, but a small handful. Over that time you never gave up the potential you had with Yancy. The both of you knew that visiting him would be too risky, even if you were to wear a disguise of some sort, but there was still contact through the phone calls you made to each other.

Neither of you would waste time with formalities of ‘How’ve you been’ or anything of that nature; you did have a time limit after all. You both would just jump into conversations as if you never stopped them, talking about anything and everything until a guard told Yancy that his time was up. In all of this time you never mentioned your life outside of prison and he never mentioned his life inside of it unless it related to the conversation in some way. Neither of you had wanted to let the other know that life without the other wasn’t as bright as they thought it would be.

Damn you both for falling in love with a person you seemingly couldn’t have.

---

You were in the shower scrubbing up when the music on your phone was interrupted by the sound of your ringtone. Grabbing it, you checked the number and chuckled a little. The one pitfall of contacting each other via phone was that you could be doing anything when he would call. Pressing the answer button, you put the phone on speaker and put it back on the sink where you had it. 

“Hi Yancy.” you said as you washed the soap off of your body.

“Hey. Are youse okay, youse sound far away?” he asked, sounding confused and slightly concerned. 

“Yeah I’m fine, I was just showering when you called.” you said as you rinsed conditioner out of your hair, having left it in for a little bit so your hair could soak the moisture in.

“Oh! Sorry ‘bout that. Kinda hard to tell what youse doin’ these days.” the  apologized, a slight chuckle laced in his voice.

“It’s fine hun, I’m almost done anyway. So what’s up?” you asked him, shutting the water off and grabbing a towel to dry your body off. 

“Ah, well I thought youse should know...my chance at parole is coming up.” he brought up awkwardly.

“Oh. And?” you asked cautiously, stopping what you were doing to hear him properly. 

“And...I’ve decided to take it.”

And damn if those words didn’t make you the happiest person in the world. 

“Really? That’s amazing hun, I’m so glad.” you said eagerly as you moved to towel dry your hair. 

“Yeah, uh, I was also wondering if youse would be willing to, yanno, let me stay with youse until I could find some place to go?” he asked, his voice sounding awkward and slightly strained. You could tell that it was hard for him to ask for your help with this, but it didn’t deter you in the slightest.

“Of course you can stay. I’ll set up the guest room for you and make sure I have enough food for the both of us. Just be sure not to shower for hours like you do there, as I’m actually paying the water bill.” you replied with a chuckle at the last part.

The relief in his voice was tangible in his voice. “Thank youse. My hearin’ is next week, so I’ll call and let youse know more about it then.”

You agreed, and then when you had put on your robe you grabbed your phone and turned it off of speaker phone to continue having your conversation with the Ohioan.

---

As he had promised, the next week he called to tell you about his parole hearing.

“So I got granted for my’s parole. I met with my parole officer this mornin’.”

“That’s awesome! When are you getting let out?”

“Three days from now. Youse got everythin’ ready for me?” he asked curiously.

“I’ve had everything ready since you first mentioned your hearing.” you admitted sheepishly.

He gave a chuckle at the admission. “Good to know youse still lookin’ forward to seein’ me.”

“I’ve been wanting to see you since the night I left.” you admitted, a blush blooming on your cheeks.

The other side of the line was quiet and you couldn’t help but assume the worst. Neither of you talked about that night. Until now.

“Yeah. Yeah, me too doll.” Yancy finally admitted, sounding relieved.

You both continued to talk about anything and everything, and an idea popped up in your head. You asked about who his parole officer was, and while he was slightly confused on why you’d want to know he gave you the officer’s name. Before long he had to go, and you wished each other a goodbye. This goodbye was easier than the rest though, as you knew you’d be seeing him in three days.

In the meantime you looked up his parole officer, got their number, and decided to make a call. You explained your idea to them, wanting to get permission first just in case it would violate his parole, mainly with him not being allowed to leave after a specific geographic point. With a bit of a chuckle, his parole officer granted the permission needed to put the idea into effect and promised not to tell him. Thanking him, you hung up and started to plan Yancy’s first day as a free man. Or, as free as he would be for a while.

---

I love to see you shine in the night like the diamond you are

No one's got to know what we do, hit me up when you're bored

Three days later you pulled up to Happy Trails Penitentiary, got out of your car and waited for him to walk out the gate. Seeing him walk out was such an overwhelming sight, and before you knew it you ran over to him and hugged him tightly. It had been years since you had seen him last, but he hadn’t changed one bit. Yancy stumbled under the force that you ran to and hugged him, but he kept his balance and awkwardly moved an arm around you.

“Hey doll, it’s good to see youse.”

“It’s so good to see you too Yancy.” you replied before pulling away from him. Noticing his clothes, you saw he wore a pair of black pants and a black and red plaid flannel. It looked good on him, and he would fit right in with everybody else. “Come on, we’ve got your new life to start.” you said as you grabbed his hand and tugged him to follow you to your car. He chuckled and followed after you, not that he had a choice in the matter.

Getting in, you both put on your seat belts and you started driving, not to home, but to start your plan. Yancy played with the radio until he found the type of music he liked, and turned it up to be able to listen to it but not loud enough to distract you.

All I hear is... Nothing feels better than this Nothing feels better Nothing feels better than this Nothing feels better, ooh now

 He then watched out the window for a while as you drove. When you guys reached a specific point, he looked over at you.

“Uh, doll I’m not allowed to goes past this point.” he said, sounding very concerned and slightly scared. He had decided to try out parole to be able to see you and be with you, and he didn’t want to be thrown back in the same day he got out.

“Don’t worry about that, I’ve got it handled.” you reassured him as you drove past his parole limit to continue to the setting of your plan.

It took some time, but you pulled up to the closest beach and parked in the parking lot. 

“Doll, whatcha doin’?” Yancy asked as you both got out of the car.

“I want your first day out to be a good one. Prove that it’s not all that bad out here.” you told him with a small smile.

He gave a small and shy smirk as he looked at you. “Youse didn’t have to go to all the trouble. It was already worth it to see youse’s face again.” he admitted, causing a small blush to appear on his and your face.

We don't gotta hide This is what you like, gotta admit Nothing feels better than this

“Well come on, we’ve got the rest of our day ahead of us.” you told him as you led him to a restaurant that was across from the beach. It was mainly seafood due to its location by the sea, but there were also options of burgers, fries, and even pizza. They also had a nice selection of desserts for after the main meal. You both ended up ordering burgers, fries, and some colas, and you both talked while waiting for your food to be ready. When it was served, you thanked the server and dug into your meals. The burgers were hot and juicy, the fries were crispy and delicious, and the colas were refreshing. Once you were both done you asked him if he wanted a dessert and he seemed hesitant. 

“It’s okay Yancy, I don’t mind it if you do.” you told him.

“I kinda wanna try one of those milkshakes, but I dunno if I would be able to finish it.” Yancy told you as he watched a server making a milkshake.

“We could always share one.” you suggested. He looked back at you in surprise and you shrugged. “I wouldn’t mind trying one either, but we’re in the same boat. I wouldn’t be able to finish one by myself.”

“Alright, if youse sure.” he agreed after a moment. You nodded in response, and when your server came back over you asked if you could have a milkshake. You both had agreed on a chocolate one, though he liked chocolate more than you did. But this was his day, not yours. The server made your milkshake, put whipped cream on top and a cherry and brought it to you, handing over two straws. “Enjoy.” they said before leaving again.

You say we're just friends, but I swear when nobody's around I keep my hand around your neck, we connect, are you feelin' it now?

You and Yancy each grabbed a straw, removed the paper on it and stuck it into the milkshake. Due to the single serve cup for the milkshake, you each had to take turns taking a sip of the cold treat, though you both fell into an easy rhythm. You always did, and this was no different.

“So, what else does youse have planned for this adventure?” Yancy asked, making conversation as you both drank the milkshake. You finished your momentary sip and he went in for his as you answered.

“It’s supposed to get dark in a bit and I was thinking we’d watch the sunset, and there’s supposed to be music at the pier tonight. I thought we could maybe take a listen.” you told him as he drank his milkshake. When he came up from his momentary sip, he swallowed and nodded.

I get so high that I ignite, I swear to God, feel my feet leave the ground Ooh, yeah Your back against the wall, this is what you been talkin' about In my ears

“Alright, sounds good.” he said, and as he watched you take another turn at the milkshake he couldn’t help but think that you were amazing. You did all of this just for him and he couldn’t be anymore grateful to have you in his life. Ever since that day you went into prison you had changed his life, and now he was going to be spending it with you. What could he have possibly done to be so lucky?

You both finished up the milkshake and talked some more. You were given the bill and paid for your meals because he didn’t have any money yet due to it being his first day out. He felt bad about that, but you reassured him that him being around and out of prison more than made up for it. You both walked out and walked back across the street to the beach, walking across it as the sun set. 

“It’s beautiful tonight.” Yancy commented as he watched the sunset. You nodded in agreement.

“It sure is.”

Nothing feels better than this Nothing feels better Nothing feels better than this Nothing feels better, ooh now

When the sun left the sky and the stars came out shimmering in the black sky, some music started to play at the dock and you smiled, taking his hand to join in on the fun. There was a small band set up on the pier and playing music people could dance to. Looking at him, you tilted your head towards the music in a silent offer to dance, which he agreed to with a hesitant nod. 

We don't gotta hide This is what you like, gotta admit Nothing feels better than this

“Just follow my lead.” you told him as you placed a hand at his waist and connected your left hand to his right one. 

You know that if I left I'd take you back When you say it, you say it like that, oh yeah

You know that if I left I'd take you back When you say it, you say it like

As you led, you moved left a couple of steps, moved back a couple of steps and then made you both sway from side to side a little before having him move left and you move right a couple steps, made him move back a couple steps, then sway side to side again. It was a cute and slightly elaborate square you were dancing in, but it was perfect for the both of you. 

Soon enough you grew tired and he did as well, and you both walked back to the car, him grabbing the keys off of you and getting in the drivers seat to go home. Home. It felt odd calling somewhere that wasn’t the prison home, but he knew that being with you would give him the best home he ever had. Because you were there, and you were on his side. Looking over at you in the passenger seat he saw you had fallen asleep and he smiled a little before paying attention to the road again. Yeah, life on the outside was definitely going to be okay.

Nothing feels better than this Nothing feels better Nothing feels better than this (Nothing feels better) ooh now, now We don't gotta hide (This is what you like, gotta admit) Nothing feels better than this (Better than this) Nothing feels better than this

[blueboxesandtrafficcones]

The Nuptial Necessity - Chapter 20

A 12xRose Human AU

Despite an unglamorous job description, Rose loves the work she does with The Thistle Foundation, a charity founded by her best friend’s great-uncle.  It doesn’t hurt that her boss, her friend’s father, is easy on the eyes.  With a great job, wonderful friends and a loving family, life couldn’t be better – except for having someone to share it with.

All of that is threatened, though, when the great-uncle dies – and sets a strange condition for his nephew to inherit, jeopardizing the Foundation and Rose’s future, sparking a chain of events that might just get her everything she dreamed of and more.

Chapters will be posted on Saturdays and Tuesdays.  Many thanks to my beta, @stupidsatsuma

Rated: Explicit, for eventual smut

@doctorroseprompts

AO3  |  Masterlist

—

Sunday, cont’d

They entered the house hand in hand, and Rose was grateful for his silent support and the way he took the lead, allowing her to observe for a moment before diving in.

Two men stood waiting just inside the door, bowing the moment they entered.  “Lord Gallifrey, Lady Gallifrey,” the closer of the two spoke first, smiling nervously.  “Welcome home.”  He was an odd-looking man, surprisingly short and nearly as wide, bald, but with a kind air about him.  “How was your trip up?”

“Well, Nardole, thank you,” Malcolm answered easily.  “Rose, this is Nardole- he’s the butler.”

“It’s lovely to meet you,” Rose offered.  “Hello.”

“My lady.”  With another slight bow, he turned back to Malcolm.  “Shall I see to your things, my lord?”

“Yes, Nardole, thank you.”

He scurried off out the door, and it hadn’t fully shut behind him before she could hear him instructing Ross to unload the car in a firm and authoritative voice she wouldn’t have guessed him capable of.  Trying not to smile for fear of seeming rude, she turned to the second man, breath catching.  Blimey, he’s gorgeous.  He was almost the direct opposite of Nardole; at least six foot, he looked fit and trim, even in somewhat-dorky looking laborer clothing.

“Lord Gallifrey,” he said formally, bowing slightly before turning to face Rose.  His eyes widened and a smile grew, and when he said “Lady Gallifrey” it was in a far more flirty tone.

“Hello.”  Tamping down a blush, she tried to remain detached, as if she couldn’t get lost in his clear blue eyes, or her fingers weren’t itching to run through his dark locks.  “How do you do?”

“Stop that,” Malcolm barked, and she looked at him startled only to find he was staring at the other man with an exasperated expression.

“I’m just saying ‘hello’!” the man protested, stance easing, and she realized that this must be Jack, Malcolm’s American cousin and presumptive heir.  He’d explained on the way up that the Estate could only go to male heirs, and when Jack was twenty and causing a ruckus at home, was sent back to the ancestral estate to get his head on right, and stayed.  Malcolm had called him a ‘bit of a flirt’ – based on first glances, that seemed to be an understatement.  “It’s not illegal!”

Malcolm sighed, a tad overdramatically, and rolled his eyes at Rose.  “My cousin, Jack,” he said unnecessarily.  “Don’t be fooled by his pretty words- he’s not the long-term relationship type.  Meaning twenty-four hours or longer.”

Jack scoffed.  “One- not true.  My shortest relationship was the amazing long weekend I spent in Rio in college with my roommate and his girlfriend.  Two- I am in a relationship, thank you very much.”

“I know- you think just because I’m in London I’m out of the loop?  Please.” Malcolm turned to Rose, explaining, “He and our chef, Ianto, have been together for several years now.”

“And to think, you made so many snarky comments about me boinking the staff,” Jack snickered.  “Only time will tell indeed.”

Malcolm’s ears turned red, and he coughed.  “Anyway, Jack will be taking us through the grounds tomorrow, catching me up and giving you a tour at the same time.  For now, though, he has things to see to.”

“Actually-”

A narrowed-eye stare from Malcolm silenced Jack, and with a wink and wave, he slipped around them and disappeared out the back door.

“Now,” Malcolm said, once they were alone, “how about a brief tour while they bring our things in?”

“Sounds brilliant.”

-

Despite being a rather brief overview, Rose’s head was spinning with information by the time they climbed the main staircase up to the second floor.  It was an eclectic mix of old and new, much in the same way the townhouse was; it felt new and strange but like home all at once.

“So, up here are the family rooms,” Malcolm continued, “they’ll be much more modern and familiar.  In the eighties Wallace had toyed with opening the house up to the public, or maybe turning it into a bed and breakfast to generate income, and he had some work done to that effect, mainly modernizing the bedrooms, but in the end changed his mind and kept it private.  A lot of that had to do with the distillery opening and- well, to be perfectly frank, there’s nothing interesting here.  No real draw.  Homes like these are a dime a dozen, ones with much more historical interest.  We do open the gardens in the winter and spring, though, for a few quid- they decorate for Christmas and Hogmanay, leaving the lights up through Burns Night, then open again when the flowers bloom.  It’s beautiful.”

“I bet,” Rose murmured when he paused for breath.  “So far, I’m impressed.”

He grinned.  “Good.”  Dramatically swinging open a door, he said, “And these are the rooms of the lady of the house.”

Rose poked her head in, eyes widening.  “It’s gorgeous!”  The room was of a reasonable size, but it faced the gardens; even from the door, she could see out the windows to the bright flowers and trees.  A four-poster bed sat along the wall backing to the hallway, and she could just imagine waking up and being able to look outside as soon as she opened her eyes – if she were a morning person.  More like I’d groan and pull another pillow over my head.  She didn’t notice her suitcase, and wasn’t sure if it was already emptied and put away, or if her things were in Malcolm’s room(s?) – he did say ‘lady of the house’.

“Er, anyway,” Malcolm said, as if slightly surprised, “my rooms are next door.”  Closing the door behind him he led the way the few meters down the hall, Rose trailing behind him, frowning. 

Was he expecting my stuff to be there?  Then, a disappointing thought- Was last night a one-time thing?  Does he not want to share a room?  Then, even worse- He better fucking not think he’s gonna come into my room and ‘wham bam thank you ma’am’ and go back to his own.  Or that I’ll do that.  I’m not a bloody booty call.

“Here we are,” he opened the next door, “and good, our things are here.  I think we’ve got about twenty minutes until lunch will be served, so we can freshen up.  What do you think?”

Rose followed him into the room; it was similar to ‘hers’, with more of a masculine feel to it, but it still overlooked the gardens.  The bed did look inviting, like something out of a historical romance, and she certainly wouldn’t mind getting friendly in it.  “Very nice,” she said, when she realized he was waiting for her approval.  “I like it.”

Coming around the end of the bed she found his backpack and her carrybag perched on the settee there, and following a hunch, she opened the large armoire to find her clothes already neatly hung up and sharing the space with Malcolm’s.  Like a real couple.  The thought made her heart flutter, and she turned back to find he was gone.

“Malcolm?”

“Loo,” he called back.  “One minute.”

When he exited he joined her at the window, looking out.  In the distance, she could see a few people strolling the garden paths.  “So, they put your things in here,” he said somewhat awkwardly.  “If you’re not comfortable with that, we can have them moved next door.”

“Is there a reason I should be uncomfortable?”  She didn’t look at him, but tensed in anticipation of his answer.

A hand gently settled on her shoulder, as if uncertain the touch was welcome.  “No, but…  I don’t want you to think…  After last night…”  They were interrupted by a knock, and he sighed in frustration, hand dropping.  “Yes?”

“Lunch will be served at your pleasure, my lord,” a female voice called.

“Thank you, we’ll be down shortly.”

Rose turned, but he caught her arm, letting her go almost immediately.

“I don’t have any expectations,” he said quietly.  “Just because we- I don’t expect- That’s not- I won’t lie and say I don’t want to, but more than that, I don’t want you to feel any pressure to do anything.  I don’t expect sex just because we might sleep in the same bed.  I want you to feel happy, and comfortable, and safe here.  No expectations.  Okay?”

“Okay,” she nodded, before catching her tongue between her teeth.  “But you’re also saying that if I jump you, you’re down for it.”

A smile stretched across his face.  “Abso-fucking-lutely.”

“Good to know.”  Grinning, she turned towards the door.  “Now, didn’t you say something about chips?”

-

As promised lunch was fish and chips (and beer), but it was the fanciest fish and chips she’d ever had.  Served on fine china it was still wrapped in newspaper, but the dichotomy was so great she just sat for several moments, staring.  “What-”

“It’s good,” Malcolm encouraged, picking his up and biting into it as if they were sitting on the couch in his office with takeaway from the local chippy.  “Go on.”

They were seated across from each other, at the center of a long formal dining table, a server standing by the door as if just waiting for the opportunity to serve.  Casting him a nervous glance, she leaned forward and whispered to Malcolm, “But it’s so fancy.”

“So?”

As much as Jackie would like to forget, they hadn’t always been rich.  Rose had been born to a struggling twenty-year-old couple barely making rent on an Estate flat, and was seven when Pete got lucky with his business, and they were able to move up in life.  She’d always been taught that fine things were meant to be saved, to be used sparingly and only for special occasions.

“It just… seems like it should be saved for something special,” she shrugged one shoulder, eyeing the food warily.  It almost felt like a test.

Malcolm set his fish down, finishing his bite before leaning towards her.  “That’s a valid way of looking at it,” he acknowledged, “and I think that’s one of the differences between new money and old money.  How I see it is this- everything is meant to be used.  Yes, this is very nice china, but it does no good sitting on a shelf looking pretty and never being touched.  It should be enjoyed.  And sometimes, using something special on a mundane thing makes the mundane thing special- you’ve had your fair share of fish and chips in your life, but I’ll wager this is an instance you’ll never forget.”

“That’s true,” she agreed hesitantly.  “But-”

“The experience you have using the item is worth far more in the long run than the item itself.  Now, it’s all getting cold, and it’s the best damn fish and chips you’ll ever have, so- eat up.”

Capitulating, she gingerly lifted the newspaper-wrapped fish to her mouth, and bit in.  “Oh my God,” she moaned, “it’s so good.”

“See?”

She opened eyes she didn’t know had closed to find him watching her, looking too self-pleased to suit her.  “Shut up.”

He just smirked, popping a chip in his mouth.  “As fresh and homemade as it gets- potatoes from the garden, and fish from the Kyle.  Caught this morning, I’d wager.”

“Yes, my lord,” the server spoke from his spot in the corner when Malcolm’s glance cut over to him.  “I believe Jack caught them himself.”

“I’m sure he did.  Thank you.”  Malcolm grinned at Rose.  “What do you think so far?”

“I think…”  Rose stopped chewing, looking around the imposing formal dining room and down at her plate, before smiling back at him.  “I think it’s wonderful.”

“So do I.”  He lifted his beer towards her in a toast.  “Welcome to Scotland, Rose Tyler.”

“Glad to be here.”  She really, really was.

[vampirefreakism]

The Scientist (Chapter 25)

Summary: In the events following Asgard’s destruction, Loki finds himself on Earth seeking refuge to await the inevitable. Much to his surprise, it comes from a source he would never have expected.

AO3 Link

The Soundtrack So Far

Warnings: a little arguing, not bad, all fun

Word count: 2.5k

A/N:  Next part already?? In less than three weeks?? Wow, who is this author with amazing time management? Lmao hey folks here ya go. This is a bit of a filler one. Short, sweet, a set up for future events. Hope y'all like it. I sure do. Also, isn't it nice I got some more songs in here? I miss that. More of that

Masterlist

Luna held the same position she had been in for the last hour: hunched over, glasses off, and staring through the eyepiece of her microscope. She looked away every now and then to take meticulous notes about her observations of Sammy, but she stayed put. An impasse had been met, and she wasn't one to quickly back down.

She leaned back and rubbed her eye with the back of her wrist.

“Why aren’t you dead already?” She moaned out. The life cycle of C. elegans lasted around four days, and it had been over two weeks since he hatched.

Sammy was on his third Petri dish of nutrient bacteria, and he kept making little trails of ice. So long as he had food, nothing could stop him. Luna was tempted to poke him and see how fast he healed, but he was much too small. She would need a larger specimen for such an experiment. An event for a future time.

With a final glare at the dish, Luna picked it up and took it into the fridge. Unlike the other worms she had grown, Sammy tolerated the cold. He shouldn’t have been able to live in conditions below 60°F, but he was able to do so and keep up all normal behavior.

Luna let Sammy sit for 30 minutes in the cold, contrasting the hour he had previously spent at room temperature. He adjusted well and quickly to each temperature change. For an extraordinary organism, he acted as per usual.

The little scientist rubbed the top of her head with her forearm. She was at a loss. Could her endeavors lead to a dead end? No, it was too early to assume. There was no end in sight, but she had endless possibilities. For the time being, however, a mental and physical break was called for.

Luna turned the microscope off and put Sammy’s dish in its designated place on the counter. Snapping the rubber gloves off, she tossed them in the trash bin and hung up her lab coat. Rubbing her hands and stretching her arms out, she made the long trek to the greenhouse.

The entire compound was a tad colder than usual, but the greenhouse was always warm. It was large, holding a wide variety of plants used for the kitchen and Tony’s personal garden. A view of the river and surrounding forest could be seen from any of its windows. If Luna weren't a biologist specialized in genetic science, she would have gone for a job here instead.

She spared a few passing ‘hello’s to the employees working there on her way to Tony’s private section. To avoid any outside tampering of her plant, he opened up a small space in his collection for her. She needed but one pot, a watering can, and the occasional spot of fertilizer. He had more than enough of everything to spare.

Wrapping her arms around herself, Luna crouched down and stared intently at the soil, still undisturbed by signs of life. She poured a bit of water and watched it seep into the warm dirt, hopefully giving life to the minuscule prize buried beneath. Again, it was too early to tell. Such things require time and patience of the caregiver. For the sake of the little seeds, she had both to give.

With a gentle finger, she stroked the rim of the pot. She hoped it would work and the flowers would bloom before Loki was forced to leave her. It was disheartening to dwell on. She would be happy to keep watch over the roses if he never got the opportunity to lay eyes on them, but the initial purpose for their existence would be taken away. They would serve henceforth as a grim reminder of the space she had made for him in her little corner of the universe.

The cold and the promise of snowfall soon further dampened her spirits. The plants should be fostering serenity and happiness in her heart, but a touch of sorrow took its place. Satisfied with the care of her roses, Luna moved about the room, touching the leaves of ferns and tomato plants and the petals of peonies and chrysanthemums. Tony had an entire row dedicated for Pepper to come and tend them at her leisure. Luna wondered if he grew them for their wedding, whenever and wherever it would happen. Tabloids tossed out hundreds of ‘confirmed’ theories, but no one had a clue.

A cool mist erupted from the irrigation system, covering the majority of the area with a layer of fresh water. Luna’s pullover did little to protect her from the slight chill racing beneath her skin. Shuddering, she wrapped her arms around her torso and moseyed back to her lab, stopping once to grab a free cup of iced tea.

Finishing her refreshment, Luna rounded the corner and spotted a figure peeking through the window of the door to the lab. As she neared, she recognized the short brunette hair and called out to them.

“Peter, hey. What’re you doing here?”

Peter whipped his head to look in her direction and smiled. “Hey, doc. I was just looking for you. Is this a bad time?”

“No, no, it’s as good a time as any. I just came back from taking a short break.” Luna tapped the door. “Did you need anything here?”

“No, I just stopped by to see you, actually.” He set his backpack down and opened it.

“Oh, ok. Did I forget something at your house?”

He shook his head. “Uh-uh. I just, uh, I wanted to give you this,” he held up a small gift bag, “you know, before I forgot and I wasn’t able to. It’s for, uh, it’s for Loki.”

Luna carefully took it from him and admired it, a bright smile making its way onto her face.

“Peter, that is so nice of you.”

He chuckled and bent his head. “I hope he likes it. Just something I made in art class. It’s kinda fragile so be careful.” He pointed loosely into the bag. “The shirt I wrapped it in is for him too. I got that from a thrift store.”

Luna glanced inside at the mass of fabric rolled around a small object, hiding it from her view. “Oh, I’m sure he’ll love it. He’s a gift type of guy.”

Peter paused, a bit taken aback, but he recovered before Luna could comment.

“That’s good,” he laughed nervously. “Oh, and uh, I got this for you.” He handed Luna a smaller wrapped package. “That is not fragile at all, so you don’t have to worry.”

Luna beamed and received it carefully. “Thank you, Peter.” She reached and pulled him into a brief one-armed hug.

Letting go of her, Peter stooped down and closed his bag.

“Well, uh, that was all I came to do.” He slung his backpack over his right shoulder. “I’ll just say hi and check in with Mr. Stark and be on my way.”

“Alright. I’ll see you, Pete.” Luna bid him farewell, waving him off as he walked to the main elevator.

Alone with the new parcels, she strode into the lab and placed them beside her personal effects. Safe and sound, for now. She wondered how long she could keep Loki’s gift hidden from him and out of his snooping habit. A ‘don’t open till Christmas’ tag might deter him, but she still had no tree for it to nestle under. She made a mental note to propose the idea of getting one once she got home. With the subject of presents still sitting fresh in her mind, Luna snapped her fingers, remembering a different mental note from earlier in the week.

“FRIDAY,” she called out, “is Tony still busy with Peter?”

“Yes, they are still conversing in his office.”

“Ok, thank you.”

Luna put her fists on her hips and huffed. She didn't feel like working, and she couldn't return to the greenhouse. There was no reason to. It was too cold to walk comfortably outside and admire the scenery, so she opted to wander inside next to the windows.

In the time to herself, she listened to her music in peace, earbuds in and the world out. Peter could have the longest heart-to-heart with Tony as he liked. Luna was in her own space, admiring the forest from the warmer indoors and indulging in Corey Hart’s freshman album.

Touching the chilled glass and tapping it along to beat, Luna swayed to ‘It Ain’t Enough’ with a faint grin on her face. A sentimental, slow groove song coupled with lyrics of unequal love and devotion. An enjoyably sad song, but how many of its kind existed? How many would come to be in the future, near and far?

“I know that I'll never be afraid to say that I'm here by your side and I'm gonna stay.”

What a nice thought.

‘Does She Love You’ was more upbeat and moved Luna to rhythmically tap her feet as she walked. She kept an eye out for on-lookers who weren’t supposed to be seeing her out and about during afternoon work hours. She wouldn’t get reprimanded, but it would be embarrassing.

Conveniently, in the middle of the album, FRIDAY interrupted.

“Ms. Fields, Mr. Stark is available to speak with you now if you like.”

Luna clapped her hands together. “Fantastic. Thank you, FRIDAY.”

Bounding up the stairs, she finished the song and part of the next one prior to reaching Tony’s office. Lifting her hand off of the bio-scanner once the door unlocked, she discovered Tony supervising a spec-run on a set of new web-shooters.

“Hey, boss!” Luna called to him. “Talk about anything fun with Peter?”

“Ah, so he saw you too? Yeah, he wanted to say hi before I left.”

“Good, good. And did you show him that?” She pointed to the screen, still running numbers and simulations.

“Heh, oh no. This is a surprise for a later date. Remember the Iron Spider suit I tried giving him?”

“It’s too cool to forget.”

Tony waved a hand at the screen. “Think of this as version 2.0.” He nudged Luna’s side. “And you can thank your not-so-little friend for all the help when you get home.”

She smirked and side-eyed him. “Oh, I will. I’ll tell him all about how you gushed and you ‘couldn’t’ve done it without him.’”

Tony chuckled. “Don’t play it up that much. I could have easily done it alone. It just would’ve taken a little longer.”

Luna nodded and hummed. “Mhm, gotcha.”

“Careful, it’s the holiday season. Try not to sound so sarcastic.” They shared a brief laugh. “Speaking of which, why don’t you come to the office Christmas party this year? You missed the last two.”

Smirk still on her face, Luna glanced Tony’s way. “Oh, you mean the party that you won’t be attending again because you’ll be vacationing with Pepper in…where is it this year?”

“Paris. For a month. But it’s the thought that counts, right?”

Luna shook her head. “Pretty sure that doesn’t apply to parties.”

Tony faced her, the numbers on the virtual screen wholly forgotten. “Why don’t you show up anyway? I’ll even let you bring Loki if you think he’ll miss you too much. Just dress him up in one of those surgical masks and say he’s recovering from TB. No one will know it’s him.”

“Thank you, Tony, but I’ll have to pass again.” Luna needed a nonnegotiable lie and fast. “My mom is coming.”

“Great. You can bring her too.”

Luna grimaced a bit. “She's not keen on big parties, and I don't want to just leave her. Besides, with Loki in my home, I’ll have enough of a party going on to think about another one.” She chuckled nervously.

Tony eyed her. “Ok, sourpuss, you don’t have to go, but you do have to make up for it with a nice present when I get back.”

“Already working on it, boss.” Tension left her body. He believed her, for now. “And speaking of presents, I would very much like you to help me out with one in particular, please.”

“Well, since you said it so nicely, I really have to do it now. What’s the thing?”

Luna crossed her arms. “Uh, it’s a phone…for Loki.” Tony’s face dropped.

“Are you being serious right now?! Do you have any clue what he could do with one of those things?!”

“Yeah, but I still think it’s a good idea!” Luna exclaimed. Tony dragged his hands over his face.

“How could this be a good idea?! You do remember who he is, right?”

“Of course!” Luna threw her hands up. “That’s part of the reason why I think it’s a good idea.”

“And what’s the other part?” He groaned. “Oh, please don’t tell me you went and made him your boyfriend. You can’t be that lonely.”

“What?! No!” Luna screeched and took a deep breath. “It’s just that he’s in my house all alone during the day and I think it’d be good to be able to check on him whenever. You know, make sure he doesn't try to microwave tinfoil.”

“Come on, he’s not a puppy, although you may think he’s cute like one.”

“I know, but think about it. So please?” Luna laced her fingers together and held them in front of her face. “Will you help me out?”

Tony sighed and relaxed his shoulders. “Alright, fine.”

“Yay! I promise you won’t regret this.”

He pulled out his phone. “Uh-huh.” He typed a message out, eliciting a few clicking noises and a whoosh, and tucked the device back into his pocket. “Ok, it’ll be here by Monday. Everything in it is already set up so just activate it like always. Or I could give you one now since we’re here.”

“I like getting things in the mail. Tony, you know that.”

“Yeah, and it’s really weird.”

“You’re just mad about that one delivery guy calling you ‘Tony Stank.’” Luna couldn’t help giggling.

“Ugh, don’t remind me. Rhodey’s still teasing me about it.”

“Hey, it’s funny.” Her laugh grew, making Tony join in with a few chuckles of his own. It was a funny memory. “So when are you leaving?”

“Tomorrow. Just closing up some stuff here.” Tony gestured to the screen and table littered with tools and metal samples. “I promised Pepper that I’m not going to work over the holidays, so I’m not going to work. At all.”

“You’re lucky I’m more than willing to babysit the kid when you cant.”

“And this is why you’re great.” Tony slung an arm around Luna, pulling her into a side hug. “Hey. Consider this my gift to you.”

She shot him an incredulous look. “Really? Your Christmas gift to me is my Christmas gift to Loki? Wow, classic.”

Tony gently poked her shoulder. “Just don’t say I never did anything for you.”

“Nothing?” Luna wrapped both her arms around Tony’s torso. “Oh, boss, you’ve already done so much for me.”

Taglist:  @the-doctor-9-10 @pinkieperil @sherlockfan4life

[digitalfrontiers]

I just discovered this blog and I'm blown away. Some of your screenshots look better than the actual game. Basically I just want to ask, how do you make your screenshots look so good? Are you simply playing games on the highest possible quality? Are you using the in-game console to change how the game looks or something? Do you "punch up" the screenshots in Photoshop to make the images look sharper or increase contrast? Sorry if that's a lot to ask, I'm just very curious lol

No apologies necessary, i love curiosity! :) These are all great questions. Long answer, incoming. Other than finding unique or imaginative ways to position the camera and/or characters, two other things you can do to make a screenshot stand out are alter its image quality (resolution, game engine settings) and change its visual look (colors, contrast, bloom, sharpness, etc).  I try to stay away from editing things in Photoshop other than using the content aware fill tool (to remove things like a branch or leaf sticking out into the side of a picture. I like the edges of my screenshots to look as clean as possible.), or if i’m doing soft proofing (simulating what the screenshot would look like if it were printed) for professional work. Because paper and ink can change the way things look compared to what’s on a screen, sometimes slight adjustments are necessary to compensate for that. However, once they’ve been adjusted for print, they don’t look as good on a screen, so those shots are never posted online. Other than that, once in a while i might adjust the gamma if things are a little too bright or dark. But, i prefer to do any adjustments in-game, which leads me to the next part of the answer, post processing injectors.

Starting with an early Fxaa injector (InjectFXAA by SomeDude), then moving to SweetFX, GeDoSaTo, ENB’s and finally Reshade, i’m to adjust a wide variety of visual features (everything from anti-aliasing and bloom, to brightness and sharpness), in-game, in real time. When i first started using them, i went a little overboard with some of the settings, with the mindset of really trying to make things look different or exaggerated. For example, here’s an early Bioshock pic, where i made things too dark/contrast-y:

And a shot of Skyrim, where the goal was to make things look really colorful and fantasy-like, since most ENBs at the time were very grim and monotone:

Over the years though, i realized less is more, so while i still use post processing injectors quite often, i try for more subtle tweaks, like slight bumps to contrast or sharpness. I don’t want to stray too far from the original look (unless i’m using things like texture/weather mods), instead, i just want to give things a little boost, like this shot of Dishonored (where i added a little contrast, sharpness and saturation):

Here’s where the post processing injectors merge with image quality, though. I try to run games at the highest resolution possible (usually around 5-7k). This helps with aliasing, sharpness, clearer viewing of things in the distance, and the ability to blow the screenshots up large, for high res monitors/tvs/phones and for making prints of them. The downside of this (other than running the games at like 5fps), is that it messes with certain in-game visual effects, like bloom, which doesn’t seem to scale as the resolution increases. To make up for this, i sometimes use bloom type options in the post processing injectors. This can make the bloom/lighting look really nice (even a bit nicer than how it originally looked), like in this image of Bioshock Infinite:

I also always use these two settings whenever possible, SMAA and Deband, for additional help with aliasing and banding. You can see these two options in Reshade, in the emulated version of Xenoblade Chronicles (actually you might not since the image is so small, but they’re the two selected):

Continuing with the goal of image quality, i always try to push the game engine as far as possible. This lets me do things like extend the draw distance, disable LOD settings and refine the way shadows look and how far they’re rendered, among other things. This is usually done by experimenting with settings in the in-game console (like you mentioned) and/or adjusting different values in the config files, which you can see in this pic of We Happy Few (left) and Prey (right):

This trial and error can take a really long time, since certain settings can crash a game or look good/work in one area, but not in another. Even though it can be a pain in the butt, and the end result might not be very noticeable, i still really enjoy doing it, if only for the learning aspect. In this shot of We Happy Few, had i not adjusted any engine settings, some of things behind the green line (colored lights on the ground, lamps, leaves, hanging tvs/flower pots, mailbox and garbage cans) wouldn’t be in the picture at all. Even though they’re in the distance, they help make the screenshot more dense with detail and the world more believable:

Finally, the last piece of the puzzle. Lighting. Whether it’s using certain commands to change the weather (and in turn, the lighting), which i did in the above We Happy Few shot, where i made it night to turn on the ground lights and fog, and then quickly changed it to morning to turn off the street lamps (to give it a darker, more moody look) and brighten the sky and rooftops a little. Or, in the screenshot below of Prey, where i carefully positioned the player/camera to illuminate the the hand and gun, while still showing the sparks and still being close enough to see the volumetric fog in the background:

I always have the mindset of, “what is the best lighting for this situation, to make things stand out or give the screenshot a fun and unique look?”

Sometimes it can be just one of the above mentioned things, or sometimes it can be all of them together. But that’s how i get my screenshots to look like they do.

Whew, long post! Hope that helps answer a few of your questions! You guys are angels for reading all that, or at least putting up with it on your dash!

[techouspeaks]

Precuruary: Suite Precure!

It’s music, it’s magic and yet surprisingly, it’s not about a girl’s idol group! I take a look at Precure’s music themed series!

“ In a place called Major Land, a Melody of Happiness is due to be played, spreading happiness throughout the world. However, an evil man named Mephisto steals the Legendary Score, plotting to turn it into a Melody of Sorrow to spread sadness across the land. Aphrodite, the queen of Major Land, scatters the Notes that make up the Legendary Score into the human world and sends a fairy named Hummy to Kanon Town in order to recover them. There, Hummy meets two girls, Hibiki Hojo and Kanade Minamino, who are chosen to become the Suite Pretty Cures in order to recover the missing Notes and protect everyone's happiness.”

I was kinda almost dreading to get to this one and not because it’s bad, but more so, much like Yes! Precure 5, well I had a hard time figuring out what to say about it. It’s your basic precure series that does it pretty well. 

The characters are likable, the villain is kinda funny, be it a times disappointing because they’re too goofy and the transformation scenes are one of the most memorable things in the series. It was the start where Toei was apping up their game in both transformations and attacks. They made the transformations and attacks seem big with big explosions and 3D effects and everything. Although, is it me or did they just ripped off a little much from Sailor Moon?

Yeah....when I looked at the module first time when this came out I’m like “Toei, you’re running out of ideas....”

But granted, since they own the rights to Sailor Moon they can get away with it but still. Other than that, the rest is not bad

I like Hibiki, in fact, I seem to be most like her in terms of personality. She’s a tomboy but she can be pretty. I like how she doesn’t feel like another Cure Black or Cure Bloom. She feels legit like her own tomboyish, sorta rebellious attitude. I also like how the cures don’t get along at first. They actually have to build their friendship back up and learn to work together, so their powers can work. That’s actually a clever idea. 

Kanade is also rather likable. I like the fact she’s both sweet but does have a hot tempered side to her. You don’t see that too often in the “quiet types”. I was wondering why people kept saying she was bitchy and didn’t like her in the Precure Confessions, but honestly, I think the hot tempered side to her makes her more rounded. To be fair, she’s only got an attitude for understandable moments.

Do the bickering moments feel long, yeah, a bit. There were times where I’m like “God, they’re doing this again?” but by the time Cure Beat/Ellen joins, that pretty much stops and they move on from that, thankfully. So you don’t have to deal with it for too long. 

Speaking of dragging moments, while I like Cure Beat's story a bit more than Cure Passion’s and be it, it was a lot less clunky than her’s, I did wish they had done the guilt trip thing in one episode. You know she’s gonna join, you know she’s gonna realize that people will forgive her and she can forgive herself. Why drag it to like three episodes? I just hate the mope dope. It’s like the liar reveal cliche. It just drags so much, especially when you know the character is gonna be forgiven and gonna change for the better.

At least with Cure Scarlet/Towa, the guilt trip scenes were short or sorta through out the series, so nothing felt like it was being dragged out. Everything settled little by little and more balanced with the happier moments so nothing felt long or grading.

I was frustrated with Cure Beat/Ellen’s reformation episodes. It’s like “Stop dragging it and just join the cures!” 

But as a character herself, I do like her. I found her funny at times especially trying to fit in the human world and so yeah she’s enjoyable and I love her design!

I’m not a big fan of Muse. She’s okay. I like how she thought of real clever ideas keeping her identity a secret. She’s cute and I don’t find anything really that bad about her, she’s just not particularly my favorite.

Okay, gotta get the elephant out of the room...I sorta think Hummy is a little creepy...*gets booed at by the crowed with pitch forks!* Well, here’s the thing. 

Sometimes she appears cute and lovable. I can actually even see why she’s considered the most popular mascots of Precure and is often the main mascot used to represent Precure as a whole. Other times though,  she reminds me of a certain mascot from another magical girl anime....

Yeah... there’s times where Hummy did appear a little unsettling and where I was expecting her to say “Contract?” 

So yeah, I don’t hate her and do think she’s cute a bit of times, but there were times where I did find her a little creepy, especially when she was a little too happy and besides sadness, she doesn’t show too many other emotions...

Big shocker, I’m not particularly a fan of these villains. They were too goofy and over the top and really hard to take serious with the exception of Noise and Siren and to some extent, Memphisto. They at least pose some threat unlike a certain series I’ve named dozens of times in terms of poor villains. 

Noise sorta saved the villains from being a total let down but not by much. You kinda tell this is where they got the idea of Close in Go Princess. Siren was funny yelling at the other goof ups, but it kinda got old and you were ready for her to join the cures so she’d mature up.

As for appearance, I do like how mature the art style makes them look. Like you can tell they’re still teens, but they have a slight mature appearance to them without of course, sexualizing them or anything. The animation is sorta mediocre but that’s to be expected with most precure series. 

So over all, I do like this series. It’s not particularly my favorite and I probably won’t see it too many times in the future, but I’m glad I watched it again. The music is nice and I often find myself humming the opening and endings occasionally. Sometimes it can get a laugh here and there, with some groans from it dragging a bit, but the element and moral of being in harmony is a nice touch.

Over all I rate Suite Precure a fair 6 1/2 stars out of 10. Get in tune with the harmony and listen for yourself!

6 1/2 Stars

Level: Good!

[raimon-as]

CINE1102: Research Portfolio

Introduction

This portfolio analyses all of the research I have made, which are accompanied by annotations on why I made those design choices and what was working well and what wasn’t, as well as any changes that I have made to my project based on what feedback and what I thought wasn’t working well. Along with the research, this portfolio also contains large amounts of experimentations in Unreal Engine, which I will be showing multiple examples through images or videos.

In this assignment, we were asked to form groups and come up with an idea and create and animation based on that idea. The idea we have agreed on revolves around pollution in the ocean caused by plastic; we wanted to create something that had meaning is a serious topic because our goal in this project is to not only create a beautiful animation, but also to raise awareness on what plastic is doing to our oceans.

We are also required to create a research portfolio on an idea for an animated product that focuses on any recognised specialist area of the animation process. The role I have chosen to focus on is being the Unreal Engine developer because I had a lot of fun in working on Unreal Engine last year in Games Design Principles and would love to continue working on it this year for this project.

Since our idea is based around oceans, I would need to do a lot of research to be able to create a realistic and accurate water simulations because although I am already comfortable using UE4, I have never created an underwater scene before so I immediately looked at tutorials about creating underwater scenes in Unreal as well as looking at oceans in general for reference so that I could carefully study the ocean, its movements and everything it entails. I bookmarked any related video that I could potentially use in the future and watch them when working on the next element.

Roles:

Maninderpal Rajbansh – Pre-Production Artist/Animation Director

Benedict Kpaku – Character Artist/Designer

Eduardo Gal – Secondary Character Artist/Story Designer

Maris Zaharevics – Environment Artist/Designer

Raimon Wenz – Unreal Engine Developer

Darren Pagado – FX Artist/Lighting

Samuel Fagboyegun – Sound Designer

Callum Watt – Sound Designer/Supporting Environment Artist

Mood Board

I searched online for various images and possible reference points for my initial draft of the underwater scenery and put them together to create a mood board. I chose different types of images related to the ocean and most of these helped me during the early stages of the project.

1: Polluted Ocean

I added this image of a dying/dead coral reef here because that’s what the environment of our animation is going to be due to the pollution caused by plastic. I was mainly interested in the colour scheme of this image; it had that ‘gloomy’ feel to it so I wanted to capture that in my scene by having that same colour palette of bluish-grey hues to amplify the effect that pollution has on the ocean which would not be achieved by having a colourful coral reef or a colourful environment in general.

2 & 4: God Rays

Although the god rays are more on Darren’s side of work, I still added these to my mood board. Since I am the person who is in charge of putting everything together in Unreal, I will also need to look around the different areas of Unreal that Darren is doing (which are mainly particle effects and lighting) because it is important for me to know how they will look so that I will be able to determine whether they fit into my scene and if they don’t then I can adjust the values to make them more suitable and more compatible with the rest of the UE4 project. #4 also includes bubbles, which Darren is also creating so I wanted to see how bubbles look underwater when being shined on by light from the sun.

3 & 5: Caustics

I am also creating the caustics which is why I needed to look at reference images and place them into my mood board to see how they look when being reflected onto the ocean floor, mainly sand. I also included an image of caustics being applied to a moving subject, which in this case is a sea turtle, which is perfect since the main character in our animation is also a sea turtle.

6: Plastic Bag in a Coral Reef

At first glance, it appears that the blob-shaped object on the left is just a jellyfish but after closer inspection, it is a plastic bag that is floating in the ocean and it merely resembles a jellyfish. I thought that this was interesting due to the glance value it has; while brainstorming, an idea was brought up where we could have a scene where we have a silhouette of a coral reef or a marine creature in the distance but once approached, would turn out to be plastics that are clustered together to form the shape of a marine creature or a coral reef and this image is a perfect example for that idea.

7 & 8: Ocean Waves

Waves are an important factor of any ocean scene so I made sure that I would be doing research on waves and looking for references for different types of waves and deciding which kind of wave would work for our scene; perhaps maybe use stronger waves during the climax of the story? And also perhaps use calm waves on scenes where our main character is simply just exploring the ocean. I will need to take these different scenarios in mind when choosing what height/colour/intensity of waves to use in different scenes of our animation.

Post-Processing

The post process volume arguably has the biggest impact on making a realistic underwater scene because it’s what gives the screen a blue hue to simulate water as well as having other nice effects such as depth of field, specular bloom, ambient occlusion, lens flares and more, which is why I will most likely be focusing on this factor the most in this project so that I could get the perfect balance and correct values in order to create a convincing underwater scene.

To start things off, I sculpted a placeholder landscape and moulded it to make it look like the land around a lake - although our idea was set in the ocean, this was just a first draft so I wanted to create something small just to see how things would look together and how doable this idea actually is in Unreal. I also added a Rock Basalt material that is found in the Starter Content provided by Epic to the landscape so that it wasn’t just a monotonous colour. 

The next step in creating my underwater scene was to add the “water”; In order to create a convincing illusion of being underwater, I added a post-process volume into the scene and played around with the colour values for a couple of minutes to get that right shade of blue I wanted. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5UKw_Crlr4

(Matt Taylor, 2016)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gr5BDGahdEA

(Gamedev1909, 2015)

I mainly watched these two tutorials to help me create my water volume and I combined some parts from one video to the other to achieve the effect I wanted and also to see which values they used for the different variables and played around with those values to see if they would have an improvement. Matt Taylor also had other videos on his channel which have other factors that would further make the scene look more realistic which I also used for some of the sections that I will be talking about below. 

Depth of Field

“Depth of field is the effect in which objects within some range of distances in a scene appear in focus, and objects nearer or farther than this range appear out of focus.”

(Joe Demers, 2007)  

I added depth of field because during the animation, there will be some parts where the viewer’s attention should be targeted towards the sea turtle, so adding depth of field would be a good way to blur out the coral reef in the background and focus more on the turtle to give the scene a better sense of depth, but want to achieve a good balance in the blur strength as I prefer effects to be subtle since I will be combining multiple effects at once and I don’t want to overload the viewers with on-screen effects.

One of the main things that I noticed from those two tutorials above was that their depth of field values were too high and was causing everything to look very blurry, which is not the result I wanted so I reset the depth of field values and set my own values in the parameters and also tried out the other depth of field methods since they were using the GaussianDOF (which was too strong for my liking) and I wanted to see if the difference between each method. I liked the BokehDOF the most since the blur wasn’t too strong and it was only a subtle effect, which I really liked. These values will change over the coming months as I continue to play around with the values since I tend to always change the values of parameters every now and then to try and get a better effect, so the values I have above aren’t permanent.

Screen Distortion

I also added a subtle screen distortion to the post processing volume which gives the screen this slight wobble effect to further help simulate the feeling of being underwater. The values can easily be changed in the blueprints which I will be changing on and off during some parts of the final animation to prevent odd looking scenes e.g. when the camera is focused on the turtle. 

The screen distortion effect is only a material and it was applied to the screen by adding it as an array element to the post processing material, which means that it covers the whole screen as long as the camera is within the post process volume.

Although it isn’t really an important feature to add in the underwater scene, I really liked the effect and like the subtle impact it had but I might turn off this effect during some scenes in the cinematic, especially when the camera is focused on the sea turtle character we have since we don’t want to distort it’s shape and it might be a bit too distracting once the turtle is moving around the environment and will most likely only be kept once the turtle is off screen and the camera is just moving around the ocean. I will have to wait for Ben to finish creating an animated turtle before I can test the impact that the screen distortion material will have on the turtle, but am in no rush to do so as it is only a small, subtle effect, so I want to prioritise other more important areas first and test the bigger factors in the scene, such as the waves.

Comparison

 The post processing volume’s impact on the scene is clearly shown in the image above because with it turned off, there is no connection between that image and an ocean and it looks like a completely different environment but with it on, it looks a lot more like it is set underwater, although there are still a couple of things missing like the caustics and the waves but it is a good start so far.

Fluid Dynamics/Water Physics

Waves are one of the first things you see when you are in an open body of water so in order to create a convincing underwater scene, I wanted the water plane to be one of my priorities in this project. To do this, I will need to do more in depth research about fluid dynamics and water physics to create something that’s accurate and visually appealing.

(Mia Shargill, 2018)

A friend of mine recently went to a beach in Lanzarote, Spain so I asked her to take some pictures of the beach and mainly the waves because it would be another good reference point for me when creating water planes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPmRV1Z9ikY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRnKO1z4WZs

(Pub Games, 2014)

To create my initial water plane, I followed Pub Games’ two-part tutorial carefully, but just like I did in the previous tutorials for the water volume, I also played around with the values of the parameters in the nodes of the blueprint to see if I could create something that is more to my liking.

The recording above shows the water plane from my first draft. It has a spanner node in the blueprints that makes the material move from right to left. This helps it give an effect of moving water and it also has this “rise and fall” movement which can be clearly seen when up close but hard to notice when zoomed out, which improves water simulation.

The texture I am currently using is the “T_Water_N” texture from the “Water Planes” pack that is provided by Epic on the Learning Tab in the lancher and is temporary because there is something about the water plane’s texture and movement that feels a bit “off” to me, but can’t quite pinpoint which is the exact problem so it will be replaced by a different texture in the future.

Gerstner Waves

The water plane I have right now isn’t as good as I want it to be, so I looked online for more water planes to see if I could make something more convincing and realistic. I found a tutorial on YouTube and an article on Nvidia’s forum (GPU Gems) about Gerstner waves and they look much better effect than my current one, which is why I did a bit of research on this topic.

“In fluid dynamics, a trochoidal wave or Gerstner wave is an exact solution of the Euler equations for periodic surface gravity waves. It describes a progressive wave of permanent form on the surface of an incompressible fluid of infinite depth.”

(Wikipedia, 2018)

(Hailey Williams, 2017)

The image on the left shows a sine wave while the image on the right shows a Gerstner wave. A sine wave is a mathematical curve that describes a smooth periodic movement while a Gerstner wave is basically a modified sine wave, just with sharper peaks and flatter valleys and Gerstner waves are used in a lot of CG water and fluid simulations and was theorised by German-Bohemian physicist and engineer, František Josef Gerstner.

(Finch and Worlds, 2007)

There are large amounts of studies and research about Gerstner waves, fluid dynamics and water simulation that revolve around mathematics and physics and I will need to carefully study some of them, although the Math and equations that they use are very hard to understand since my background isn’t in Math, but the diagrams that they include with these equation help me understand them a bit more and I am looking for ways on how to implement these equations into an actual object.  

(Hailey Williams, 2017)

After looking at a number of articles and forums, I found this blueprint screenshot on how to apply the Math from the Gerstner wave equation into my project in Unreal. Williams goes step by step through the nodes and talks about how she translated the equation and created a material so I will be looking into her project closely in the future when I change my water plane into one with Gerstner waves.

(Jerry Tessendorf, 2001)

I came accross this incredibly thorough and detailed research by Jerry Tessendorf about simulating ocean water and there in one of the pages, he talks about Gerstner waves and a similar equation is seen her and just like Williams, Tessendorf also explains the equation and splits them into parts to make it easier to understand and to tell us what each parameter means. His report also contains chapters about water volumes, caustics, god rays and Fresnel reflections (which I used in one of the nodes of my water plane material), so I will probably mention him and his research again in the next sections.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQ3D0Q5BlOs

(Ryan Brucks, 2017)

While looking more into Gerstner waves, I found this beautiful shader that Ryan Brucks created and it has a very realistic scene the way the water splashes around, the way the waves impacts the rocks and how the water moves in general. I want to achieve this level of realism in my own water plane and I hope to amaze anyone who sees my water simulation the same way I, and lots of people in the comment section on his video were amazed by his work.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_y7Z0MbGOMw

(DokipenTech, 2016) 

Aside from reading up on the research available online through articles, forums, documentation and more, I also want to actually create something and not just look into the theoretical side of things. To help with this, I plan on watching and recreating the Gerstner waves that YouTube user, DokipenTech has created in Unreal and like the tutorials in the post processing section, I plan on also playing around with the values of the nodes that this material will have and see if I can make any improvements and adjust everything to my liking.

Caustics

(Guardado and Sánchez-Crespo, 2007)

(Jerry Tessendorf, 2001) 

Caustics result from light rays reflecting or refracting from a curved surface. They are these subtle white reflections and refractions of light which dance around the seafloor.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9KivVEy5Ck

(Dean Ashford, 2017)

To create the first version of my caustics, I followed the video tutorial above and the .gif below was my first attempt at creating caustics.  

As you can see, it doesn’t look natural due to its jumpy movements, which isn’t what I wanted at all since I was imagining something that was more flowy, so I looked around for more tutorials and continued watching more tutorials of Matt Taylor as I already watched his first tutorial of a 3-part tutorial for creating an underwater scene (link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8u7GONZzoY).

This tutorial had a much simpler code, yet it was more effective than the previous one and it is a lot smoother and more natural, which I am happy with. I have been tweaking with the values of the caustics too just like I do with every other tutorial-based material I have created to suit my scene better and the main value that I’ve been changing is the contrast and disturbance since these two parameter nodes control how “bright” the caustics are and in the image above, I think it looks a bit too “faded” and slightly unnoticeable but I concluded that it may have been due to the texture of the landscape that was causing that look and I was right because the caustics look a lot better in the improved version, which you can see later in the “Version II” section, especially in the screenshot that’s zoomed in on the sand. 

To apply the caustics, I created a deferred decal/decal actor into the scene and placed it onto the scene and it’s boundaries and what is affects can be adjusted by scaling and moving the box (similar to the volume boxes). But unlike the volume boxes, the deffered decal box doesn’t require you or the camera to be inside it’s bounds to be able to see the effects, so I can adjust its scale when the caustics are not needed in the scene - for example, the camera focuses on the turtle but we don’t want any caustics on it, so I can just lower the caustics so that it only affects the ocean floor and not the turtle.   

And here you can see a slight difference between the two images if you have caustics on/off, although its only a small one here, but the caustics are much more noticeable in the newest version of the project.

(Evan Wallace, 2011)

Above is a screenshot and a .gif from an interactive water simulation created by Evan Wallace (which can be found here: http://madebyevan.com/webgl-water/), which showcases real time fluid dynamics and caustics that adapt to the movements of the sphere that is on the water’s surface and I found this interesting because of the water plane it uses and the caustic lighting.

(Timothy Cole, 2017)

While doing more research and looking for inspirations and tutorials for better caustics, I came across this beautiful setup made by Timothy Cole; he created this in UE4 using materials just like I did, but his looks much better and although he doesn’t provide a step-by-step tutorial on how he created this, I will strive to replicate caustics of this quality. 

“I cheated and broke this light up into 3 lights, slightly offset from each other. Each one has the same material function, but are coloured red green and blue.”  

(Timothy Cole, 2017)

His article included a video showing the caustics in motion and the movements were pretty similar to mine, but what makes his the better than mine is that his includes the minor details such as the small rainbow coloured effects that are next to the white light and I would like to mimic that same spectrum breakup and his article says how he did this, so I will be doing that same method.

Cinematics

I created lots of cinematics in Unreal last year by using the Matinee tool but since I haven’t created any in a few months, I wanted to practice by creating a short cinematic where we explore the underwater scene using two different cameras and camera angles with a quick cut in between them as a transition. I also included one of the sound effects that Sam uploaded on Basecamp.

I am very comfortable using Matinee to create cinematics since I used it a lot for Games Design Principles and Interactive Storytelling last year and have gotten good results by using it, however, the Matinee tool is old and has been a legacy tool for a while now, so I was thinking that I should learn the newer, faster alternative, Sequencer.

Sequencer notably includes the capability for users to drag and drop individual shots and change their order -- like in any other digital film editing tool. Special effects can freely be turned on and off from within the tool, even if they don't appear in the real-time game world. It also allows for multi-person workflows where different users can collaborate more easily on a single cinematic.

(Christian Nutt, 2016)

(Pub Games, 2016)

Based on a few pages I’ve read about Sequencer, it’s not too different from the Matinee tool so it shouldn’t be difficult for me to use it, but since I’ve never used it before, I will still need to watch tutorials like the one above and learn how to use this new tool. Aside from watching tutorials, I will also be reading Unreal’s overview and documentation on how the tool works and how to use it properly.

Aside from learning the technical side of how cinematics work, I will also need to study how other animators create cinematics and I immediately thought of Blizzard’s cinematics; Blizzard creates beautiful cinematics for their game trailers and I would like to achieve that level of calibre as well in my own cinematics.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSJr3dXZfcg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJ09xdxzIJQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72UbFQO5-m0

(Blizzard Entertainment, 2018)

Among are just a few of the many cinematics that Blizzard has created and they will serve as an inspiration for me, as well as research, since knowing which camera angle to use or how fast the camera is moving around the scene can be an important factor in storytelling e.g. in an emotional scene, I would need to know how close and how fast/slow to zoom in on the character’s face.

Lighting

Although Darren is the one working on the lighting, I will still be the one combining it with the other elements in Unreal and according to American cinematographer who was the director of photography at Pixar:

“Lighting is an important aspect of computer cinematography, in which lights and shadows are used to convey mood and support storytelling.” 

(Sharon Calahan, 1999)

Lighting coincides with cinematics and is an important aspect when telling a story, so me and Darren might work closely together for this part of the cinematic, but of course since it’s his role, I will let him be in charge of the lighting and only intervene once adding lighting to the cinematic made in Sequencer as I’ll need his opinions on what lighting works best with the particular scene.

Ray Tracing

I recently purchased the Nvidia Geforce RTX 2070 and the main selling points of the RTX cards is that they have advanced real-time raytracing and I plan on using that technology in our animation for better lighting and shadows to improve its photorealism.

(Nvidia, 2018)

As Epic Games observes:  

Renderers tend to use one of two methods for determining pixel color: rasterization or ray tracing. Rasterization starts with a particular pixel and asks, “What color should this pixel be?” Ray tracing works from the viewing angle and light sources and asks, “What is the light doing?”

Ray tracing works by tracing the path of a light ray as it bounces around a scene. Each time a ray bounces, it mimics real-life light by depositing color from earlier objects it has struck, and also loses intensity. This depositing of color makes the sharp reflections and subtle, realistic color variations that, for certain types of materials and effects, can only be achieved with ray tracing.

Because it mimics light’s real behavior, ray tracing also excels at producing area shadows and ambient occlusion. (Epic Games, 2018)

The text above explains how ray tracing works in more detail and also added images from Nvidia to visualise how ray tracing works. Although Nvidia and Epic have confirmed that Unreal Engine will be supporting RTX cards and make use of it’s tech in its next version (UE4 4.22), there is no official announcement yet for it’s release date, but there have been rumours on forums about it being planned to be released by the end of the year and once it is released, I would love to see if I could apply this to our animation and see if it makes it look more visually appealing.

(NVIDIA GeForce, 2018)

Shown above is a comparison taken from in-game footage of RTX being used in Battlefield V and shows what ray tracing can do in a scene; to me to image on the left where RTX is on makes the scene more ‘alive’ and makes the flames seem more real due to the reflections on the car.

Version II

Since the project I showed a while ago was just the first draft and was essentially a practice run, I wanted to add a lot of improvements and give a big upgrade to the overall look of my project because the previous one wasn’t quite good enough to my liking and although it had some resemblance to an underwater scene, it certainly wasn’t clear that it was set under the ocean but more as in a lake.

I wanted to create something closer to the images I’ve seen online and those that I’ve seen in person whenever my family goes to the beach in the Philippines during summer and create something that is as realistic and as accurate that my skills and knowledge with Unreal would allow me.

I created a whole new project using elements from my first draft, but adding improvements overall to the scene such as a better post-process volume, caustics, water plane and a newly sculpted landscape which uses a sand material that was created by Maris in Substance Painter.

I based this new scene mainly on the image on the left which was also on my mood board and tried to be as realistic and accurate as I can. I definitely preferred this new version much more than the previous one because not only was I able to create a convincing scene, it also felt like one too.

Here are some more screenshots of the current version in different angles. I have made adjustments on all the previously talked about parts (post-processing, depth of field, screen distortion, water plane, caustics) to make all of them fit in together more and work better as a whole and improve the overall aesthetic.

I plan to continue tweaking the values of the different elements in the project to further improve the looks of this project in order to create a more realistic and accurate water simulation. 

Future Plans

For future work, my next step is to add the initial assets created by my group members, mainly the god rays/particle effects that Darren created as well as building the environment by adding corals/rocks that Maris created. We may also consider creating a GitHub repository in a couple of weeks as by then, my other group mates would’ve made much more content, which they may want to add into the project themselves but then be adjusted by me later on to make sure everything fits together perfectly. I plan on finishing this on December.

Aside from that, I will need to look into perhaps adding a fisheye lens and whether this effect is achievable in Unreal Engine; a fisheye lens is an ultra wide-angle lens that creates this strong distortion that is intended to produce a panoramic image. I got this idea from the image above between my screenshot and the image I found online where the online image has this slight curvature whereas mine is flat and I think adding a fisheye lens would help further improve the illusion of having a camera underwater. I also plan on finishing this on December, since I expect this to be a quick addition.

I will also need to do more research on my own work to see if there are any other effects I could add to improve my work and add more realism to create an even more convincing water simulation. The main thing I plan on doing research on is the Gerstner waves, which I discussed in depth earlier in the “Gerstner Waves” section. I plan on finishing this on January/February.

I also plan on adjusting the caustics and trying to achieve the same quality as Timothy Cole’s caustics, which I talked about earlier and will be looking around to see if there are better alternatives to what I have now. This should be finished on January too.

I will be paying close attention to the release of Unreal Engine v4.22 and for the addition of RTX support on Unreal Engine since its release is rumoured to be by the end of the year, although realistically, I wouldn’t expect it to be released until January/February next year. Once RTX support is released in 4.22, I will be installing the new version of UE4 and copy and transfer our underwater scene that we have now onto it and will be testing out the ray tracing and comparing it with our current scene in UE4 4.20 and see if there is any major difference between the two versions. If there no difference or only a small difference, then I will be keeping the current scene in version 4.20 since it won’t be worth it to spend time transferring and potentially fixing any possible bugs or incompatibility issues that may arise when using the new version of UE4 but if there is a big, noticeable difference, then I will be transferring everything onto the newer version of Unreal and fix any incompatibility issues that may come up due to them being made in an older version of Unreal. If I do go through with the transfers and the fixes for the new version, then I predict that this might take some time and may take 1-2 months to fix/finish, depending on the issues (if there are any), which will be February/March (assuming that RTX support is released in late December/early January). Although not as important as the other factors, it would still be nice to implement ray tracing into our animation for the added ‘eye candy’.

Once the animators and modellers have finished their models/animations and are ready to export as an .fbx, I will be working on implementing them into my project and putting everything together and once everything is in place, I will need to check for any errors such as missing textures or buggy animations and if I find any, I will need to try fix them and let my peers know as they may have exported it wrong or didn’t include textures, etc. Once everything is imported in Unreal and ready with no problems present, I will be ready to create the cinematics for our project and work on the camera placements/movements and ensure that we get the perfect angles for each shot of the scene and make sure that it’s appropriate for the emotions of the scene i.e. during the sad scene at the start, camera movements should be slow. I predict that these will be done by March/April, depending on the speed/workflow of the animators/modellers and any potential problems that may arise, such as the errors that I previously stated.

The deadline for this animation is on the 20th of May so I expect everything to be ready and for May, I plan on only doing the final touches to our animation, so I will be refining everything, like the values of parameters in nodes or adjusting the direction of a light slightly or fixing any last minute problems that may come up. Once everything is finished and is of good quality and everyone is happy with how it looks, it will be time to render out the animation and export it, which shouldn’t take more than a few hours since it’s only a short animation and because Unreal renders out animations quick. After the animation has been rendered, the VFX guys (Paul, Darren, Ben) may plan on doing some final touches in Nuke for post-production and apply some minor, final changes to the animation and again, render and export it afterwards for submission.

Overall, I am very happy with my progress and of course the whole group’s progress so far. At this rate, we would be able to create an amazing final animation with a more realistic underwater scene and characters and will be looking forward to the final piece.

Feedback

We had presentations this week where we talked about our roles and contributions to the group and showcasing any experimentations we had in front of the class and I received some valuable feedback that have given me some ideas on any improvements I can make. Although most of the feedback I have received from my peers were praises, some of them were suggestions and questions, which I will address below.

First comment I will be addressing is Ryan’s feedback since his was the first one that asked a question. To answer the first question, yes, I do believe this is all doable for me to create within the time frame we are given since I am already familiar with Unreal Engine and I am very comfortable with the software and also enjoy using the software. Based on what I’ve done so far, I am already making good progress and am already at a good level in terms of building the scene since as of now, I have already created something that is a convincing underwater scene, upon which both my teammates and most of the class have agreed with, but of course, there are still lots of places that could be improved and that would require further research and experimentations. To answer the second question/sentence, I almost always create a moodboard during the brainstorming part of the project in the early stages since it gives me ideas on what I can do and how things will look, but I may not have explained it well, which is why it might have been confusing.

This was a very good question and I should’ve added a slide in the powerpoint and explained why we chose UE4 instead of other animation packages. One reason on why we chose to use Unreal instead of other software for rendering the animation is because we were using multiple different softwares - Ben was using Blender to sculpt, rig and animate his model while Maris was using Cinema 4D to model his environment and Substance Painter to texture them and Callum, I believe, used 3ds Max to model his props, so I suggested that we try using Unreal Engine to put all these models/animations/materials/etc together created in a handful of different packages because by doing it in this way, we were all using software that we are most comfortable with instead of, for example, Ben compromising and using Maya to animate even though he is much more comfortable animating in Blender just to fit in with Ed’s animation in Maya to make everything streamlined due to everything being only in one piece of software. By creating using Unreal, we are able to keep everything streamlined but not need to make compromises as to what software to use as you can just export the models as an .fbx and import them into Unreal and work from there.

Another reason on why we chose to use Unreal Engine was that after I “sold” the idea of using UE4 to my group, we told Ryan about it and he informed us that it is an interesting idea to use Unreal instead of the usual animation packages and he also said that some studios are actually starting to use Unreal when creating TV shows and other animations so it may be a good idea to use Unreal now because if the industry moves towards that direction of primarily using Unreal for animations, it would be good for “future-proofing” as we could use this animation as part of our portfolio to show those companies that we have experience in animating in Unreal when looking for a job and since we’ve already used it beforehand to create an animation, we would have an upper hand over other potential animators since they might need to learn this software from scratch whereas we already know how to. It is also good to expand our knowledge of different software knowledge since artist need to be flexible and learn to adapt to any changes in the industry in the future because if you only know how to use one software now and it becomes redundant in the future and you are unable to adapt and learn the new software that everyone is using, you would have a really hard time finding a job in that field.

What Ryan said about the studios starting to use Unreal for creating TV shows interested me since I really enjoy using Unreal and would love to continue working on using it after we graduate. I haven’t heard of any studios using UE4 to create TV shows before so I searched online for studios that use Unreal and I found an article about a Pakistan-based studio, 3rd World Studios, creating the first ever animated feature film that was rendered entirely in Unreal Engine which is titled   “Allahyar and the Legend of Markhor” (trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=162VCDUndT0). This is proof that despite Unreal Engine being a games engine, it can also be used outside games and create a film, just like 3rd World Studios did.

“Unreal has saved us months and months of rendering time. On average in a traditional pipeline, film quality renders take around 3-4 hours per frame and depending on the scene’s complexity this time can increase exponentially. In UE4, we never worried about render times.”

(3rd World Studios, 2018)

The article was an interesting read as the writer interviewed the studio on how and why they used Unreal and what benefits it provides and the studio said something that I forgot to mention before; when I finished creating a short test cinematic, the render times were much quicker in Unreal compared to other 3D packages and it will save us a lot of time once we have put together everything in Unreal and start the rendering process.

To answer the distortion comment, the video that I used to show the distortion effect was from the previous version of the project and I also bumped up the values on the speed slightly as I was worried that it might be too subtle when presented on the big monitors so I wanted to ensure that they were noticeable. The screen distortion effect looks much better in the newest and current version of the project (same one as the version that’s in the “Version II” section) and is a lot less fast/strong as it was on the presentation. As for the bubbles question, those would be particle effects, which is what Darren is working on and he also presented it, so the commenter might have missed that slide when he was presenting it. Caustics are on a decent level but I want to try create a better one if possible so I will continue working on that too and playing with the values and also do a bit more research online to see if there is a better alternative with a nice look. Finally, the lens flare is still a work in progress and was still in the early stages so I will tone that down a bit as I agree that it was a bit strong.

I didn’t include it in my presentation but like I said in the “Cinematics” section above, I will be doing research on the other types of cinematics that Unreal offers, especially the Sequencer since Matinee has been a legacy tool for a while now, so it’s an old method and 3rd World Studios also used Sequencer in making their film in Unreal.

“The latest version Sequencer is faster and more stable than ever and proved to be a lifesaver as we approached the end of our film’s production.”  

(3rd World Studios, 2018)

I agree with this comment; the scene definitely needs more work to make it look more realistic and I am planning to achieve that roundness effect in the future which is similar to the fisheye lens that cameras have, but I will need to do research on this as I am unsure whether or not this is doable in Unreal, which I talked about more in the “Future Plans” section of this portfolio. The current seafloor isn’t the final product yet and I agree that the seafloor does need more variation, so I am planning to sculpt the landscape more to create some bumps to add some variation and prevent it from looking too flat.

Reference

Mood Board

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[3one3]

The Sequel - 888

All Good Things Come To An End

André Schürrle, Juan Mata, other Chelsea/BVB players, and random awesome OC’s (okay they’re less random now but they’re still pretty awesome)

original epic tale

all chapters of The Sequel

Christina’s stable was built atop a slight elevation from the paddocks and rings below. The subtle hill from one down to the rest was manmade, to expand the flat surface upon which to build, since the driveway was naturally higher and the property generally sloped downward. When it rained, water flowed over the little hill directly behind the stable and hit the gravel section of the tractor path. Whatever water made it beyond that natural catchall collected in a trench dug just before the low hedge surrounding the dirt ring. It then moved east, toward the path from the barn to the paddocks and riding rings. There was a drain under that path where it joined the flat area with the elevated one. It prevented pooling or flooding in places where the horses actually trod.

Christina watched water pour out of the gutter fronting one of the posts holding up the tresses upon which her stable’s overhanging roof rested, travel down that gentle embankment, spread through the gravel, and join the river flowing toward that drain. The pretty basket of orange, yellow, and red blooms hanging between that post and the next, and indeed all of the baskets between all of the posts, collected its fill of the Sunday afternoon drizzle too, sparing Kyle a few more days of watering the fall flowers with a can or the hose. The stalls to her left were all empty, so their Dutch doors were completely shut up. Just one horse- Socks- looked out of his top door to her right, all the way down at the end, perhaps also watching the movement of the rainwater, or perhaps just enjoying the fresh air. Nick was always cold, so his top door remained closed. Dirk was visible under his black turnout blanket in the distance off to the left, alone because Calvin was inside on the crossties. A few other horses were out there in the paddocks, mostly just standing around in the rain, or nibbling the wet grass. Christina stood straight up to give the shoulder on which she leaned against the open stable door a bit of relief, and then crossed one ankle over the other and resumed her hands-in-pockets leaning. Her feet were cold in her field boots, and her thighs were freezing, unprotected by the black adidas coat keeping the rest of her warm. She could see her breath. The rest of the horses would need to come in soon, because they too would get cold.

“What you looking at, pretty girl?” André asked as he moved behind her and used her slouchy gray beanie-covered head as a chinrest.

“Nothing.”

“Calvin’s almost ready.”

“Okay.”

“Mausi is rolling polos.”

“Okay.”

“Everything is all right?”

“I think I’m going to retire Nicky at Saut Hermés in March.”

“That’s a big decision. Are you sure you don’t want to see how he is when you’re competing regularly again?”

“It doesn’t have to be set in stone, but yeah. I’m pretty sure.”

Nick’s lameness was, according to his vet and his chiropractor, due to back pain. Specifically, the section of spine from his mid-back to his croup was tight and sore. A side effect of his rider’s decision not to show much throughout the fall was a rolling back of the associated treatments her horses usually received following competition weekends, and a change in the type of work they did at home. Some of them weren’t adjusting well. It turned out that Nick really needed his regular post-show chiropractic adjustment and massages to be regular. If he wasn’t showing, he wasn’t getting them. He got a bunch of visits from both professionals in the week and a half since his lameness appeared, and was feeling much better. Christina scheduled them bi-weekly going forward for about 6 months, regardless of competition schedule.

Since Nick’s problem turned up, Rio had some issues with swelling and stiffness following big jump schools, and Calvin was letting boredom turn him into a big baby about everything, on the ground and in the ring. Christina’s horses need to get back into their normal rhythm. Christina needed to take them to horse shows and keep them working, and focused, and properly fit. Everyone- Tom, Isandro, Holger, Heiner, Dr. Todd, Marcus, Daniel- though that it would fix a lot of problems and be best for everyone. She refused to budge on her plans through the end of the year, but agreed to “get back to work”, as Heiner put it, after the holidays. Entries were readied for the World Cup qualifiers at Leipzig and Zurich in back to back weeks in January, and Bordeaux and Gothenburg in February. It would be difficult to qualify for the Final from just 5 rounds, including London Olympia in December, but if she managed it, then she wanted to do it with Dirk, so he would do at least three and Rio the other two. Socks, Calvin, and Nick would rotate as her second horse for those events. Saut Hermés featured lots of big 5* classes but no World Cup qualifier. Nick could be her number-one there, and receive a classy sendoff in front of appreciative, experienced fans. Holger wanted her to retire the Hanoverian stallion in front of a German crowd, but Christina didn’t know if she wanted or could wait until summer for an event like Aachen, or the German Championships. Leipzig wasn’t big enough an event for her, and the only other World Cup Qualifier in her home nation was Stuttgart, the week after Doha, so that was out. There would be a fairly large show right in Dortmund later in the winter, but it lacked a truly big feature and big prize money, so it was likely going on her calendar as an event for Kimi and some of the others, but it wasn’t suitable for her Olympic Champion and Grand Slam winner’s farewell.

A lot of silent, solitary introspection led Christina to the conclusion that Nick’s body was trying to tell her that it was time to start figuring out that farewell- that he likely didn’t have another year of heavy campaigning left in his legs, and that he wasn’t going to be like Cristiano Ronaldo, an aging footballer who added years to his career through careful management of his playing time, nor Ariz Aduriz, a player who kept going by playing nonstop. It was very important to her that she managed the end of his career correctly, and fairly. He was looking great again after getting his back sorted, and there was no reason to just call it quits immediately. The horse loved the show ring. He wasn’t a big ham like Dirk, but his rider and his grooms knew he loved to compete and do well. None of them wanted to try to nurse and patch him through a full World Cup season, or Global Champions Tour series, or Nations Cup qualifying campaign on the maximum permitted pain medications, days off, and extra high-tech therapies. Christina thought he could handle being her big star at London, her number-two at a few other qualifiers, and then be in good shape to jump the big grand prix in the Grand Palais in Paris. She’d still ride him regularly after that. It wasn’t her intention to simply turn him out for the rest of his days. Nick would stay in her program at home, and be wound down from work over a long period, or as long as he seemed interested and sound. He wouldn’t be sold, and he wouldn’t go live somewhere else to stand at stud. And if she thought he was unhappy seeing his stablemates go off to compete all the time while he was left home, then she’d take him to non-international-level shows for fun. That was the pact she made with herself. All of it was what she needed to agree on to feel like she was doing right by him. But it still didn’t feel good. She already missed him and nothing had even happened yet. He’d been her security blanket, in competition terms, for so long. Always reliable, Nick was the horse she needed most in her life and in her career when André gifted him to her. It felt like he’d been around a lot longer than that though. He helped her through the difficulty earlier in the year, when he remained consistent for her even as her head and her heart interfered. He always made her feel like a better rider than she was, and he was always cooperative. “Faithful servant” belonged on his stall plaque, Christina thought, though she saw all of her horses more as partners than underlings working for her.

Everything in the barn reminded her of the reality and the morning’s decision in that moment. Just seeing Isandro lead Nick in from his paddock to dry off and be ready for his massage made the rider pensive and sad, and had her standing in the doorway, out in the cold, staring into space. Doing what was good for all of her horses was not necessarily what she had concluded was good for her and her relationships. She hadn’t yet been ready to decide to do all those winter shows. Doing as little as she was throughout the fall didn’t feel exactly right either, but she wasn’t sure going back to 4 weeks of showing in 8 weeks was what she needed either. Her heart was heavy with sadness about Nick, and anxiety about the consequences of her proposed schedule. It wasn’t clear to her if she could go back to the same career and routine she had before the Olympics but with her new, post-Olympics way of thinking about it, and find the necessary happiness and satisfaction in it. The unknowns were the killer. Post-Olympics Christina kept reminding Cynical Christina that she had newfound strength with which to work, and André and Juan to lean on as she tested the theory, and to use as resources to help figure out how to adjust and alter as needed. She turned around in the former’s gentle hold around her waist, and hugged him tight for a three-count.

“It’s the plan for now,” she reiterated into his fleece sweatshirt. The rest of her facility was nice and warm. There was no reason to be freezing in the doorway, or to open that side of the split doors just to stand there and stare into space and let the cold in. She closed it and headed for the tack room to hang up her jacket and put her helmet on so that she could ride Calvin, in the indoor. Lukas was sitting on the bench outside the tack room with all three barn dogs and a laundry basket of clean polo wraps. Lucky was of course napping in the basket. The little scene made the equestrian star smile.

“Mommy, good?” Her son held up the maroon wrap he was working with. It was hard to tell it was in the process of being rolled versus just having come out of the dryer in a blob. Lukas wasn’t very good at the polo rolling. Someone- Kyle, likely- would have to redo them.

“Yup.”

“Finish that one and then we’re going upstairs to watch Mommy ride,” André advised. Actually, we’re going to sit on the couch and draw with colored pencils, but to Chris, we’ll be watching Mommy ride, the player countered inside. Christina was just hacking Calvin, he assumed, based on the loose ring snaffle Isandro was putting on the giant bay, and the polos on his front legs instead of the leather or plastic boots the horses wore for jumping. Calvin always wore ankle boots in back- leather CWD ones at shows, neoprene and plastic Eskadron ones at home- because he constantly kicked himself behind. The flatwork foreshadowed by the horse’s “outfit” wouldn’t be very interesting for spectators. André was only even out at the stable on Sunday afternoon because he didn’t feel like being in the house after early training. The mood at Brackel was bad. Dortmund was aggressively atrocious at both ends in Hannover on Saturday, and lost 4-2. He got to play for about 20 minutes, with little impact. That wasn’t his fault. His team could barely get the ball at that point. It was almost like the end of a friendly. Two penalties and a sending off set a bad tone. The returning forward didn’t want to play with Lukas in the house with football on TV, or be in the playroom with him and have nothing to distract him. Playing with Lukas was kind of a mindless task, usually. It left a lot of opportunity to think about other things. His dad didn’t want any opportunity to continue pondering football. He could at least try to watch Christina instead if he lost interest in coloring upstairs in the lounge, where the child had his own basket of toys and arts and crafts supplies.

“Emma too?” he inquired very politely. He had a small plush version of Borussia’s mascot bee, Emma. It was an exceedingly happy and cute little stuffed toy, and the one Lukas deigned to tote along with him everywhere for the day.

“Yeah, she wants you to make a picture for her, I think. Want to do that? Want to color while we watch Mommy?”

“Yeah!” Lukas dropped the polo wrap into the laundry with the dog and slid down off the bench with his Emma.

“Show me the picture when it’s done,” Isandro requested from the grooming stall. He was fitting the horse’s halter over his bridle so he could clip him back into the crossties to wait for Christina. André thought the groom liked Lukas more as the child got older and better at communicating and understanding people. His wife said she thought he just missed his daughter more in Germany. He did some babysitting in the barn in recent days because Espen asked for time off and Christina still needed to ride.

She emerged with her helmet on and a slim crewneck sweatshirt in place of her hat and warm running jacket. André, Lukas, and Calvin all got cheek kisses before she got a leg up onto the monster truck-sized horse. Being mounted in the barn still felt odd to her, but her stable had extremely high ceilings there, before the bit added to connect it to the indoor with the lounge, office, bathroom, and bleachers. There wasn’t any danger of hitting her head if Calvin reared up or something right there. The clearance was much lower by her office, for the couple of meters before Calvin stepped into the arena. It still made her nervous.

Holger’s Hanoverian stallion wasn’t the most focused creature in the indoor. He looked at the windows every time he passed them, or tried to. Christina kept an inside bend to try to stop him from even noticing them. Sometimes she needed him to be very straight down the long side of the ring though. He spooked at whatever the guys were doing in the garage at the end of the ring that made noise come through the closed metal door. He was clumsy while working with ground poles, and clunked his feet into them a bunch of times. Work continued until he focused better and tried more diligently. Not a single interesting thing happened during the 35-minute workout, from André’s perspective.

He held colored pencils and the eraser for Lukas while the little boy drew some shapes that were supposed to be a large, friendly bee. His big sketchbook took up more space than his lap had to offer, and he had to fill up as much of the paper as possible, so that entertained him through Socks and Kimi’s workouts too. Dad cut up an apple from the permanent stash in the refrigerator to provide a late-afternoon snack. It was hunger that ultimately drew them back to the house, leaving Christina to finish her other horses without an audience. André heated up soup and made a grilled turkey, avocado, tomato, and Swiss cheese sandwich for Lukas. He kind of wanted to make one for himself when he realized how nicely it came out. He thought it more considerate to wait for his wife for dinner though. She limped into the kitchen with her water bottle and her hat right as Lukas was inquiring about dessert at the counter.

“You can have a small piece of Nanny Espen’s cherry tart,” she mumbled tiredly into his hair while stopping to kiss him there on her way to dumping the water bottle, her phone, and her notebook in the “dump all the things” spot next to the collection of white and silver painted pumpkins. The island had offset countertops. The black quartz surface meant for eating was higher than the part meant for everything else, and the sink. The end furthest from the sink always had a bunch of junk- mail, keys, Christina’s handbag or clutch, her water bottle, phones, the nursery monitor, etc. separated from the work area by a flower arrangement and/or a bowl of fruit, or in the end of October, Halloween pumpkins.

“Hi Mommy!”

“Hi Luke.”

“What hurts?” André cringed. He was by the other sink, the one under the window, and saw Christina coming long before Lukas noticed her.

“My ankle.” She put her things down and then pulled out the tall stool next to Lukas’ middle one and gingerly climbed onto it to start pulling the tape off the offending ankle. She didn’t want to remove it at the barn when she changed her shoes, in case the tape was the only thing making it bearable to walk on. Her partner came over to help, and to provide his thigh for her to use as a footrest.

“Did something happen, or is it just a bad day?”

“Bad day.”

“The horses were good though?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you want the icepack? Or are you showering right away?”

“Daddy, dessert!” the smaller Schü demanded.

“In a minute,” his dad replied, unmoved by his impatience. Whining and giving orders for dessert wasn’t as cute as the innocent and hopeful way he asked about his prospects for having any in the first place, which André found adorable.

“Ice bag and shower.” Christina’s answer was short because she felt a sneeze coming, and boy did it come- all over the sleeve of her sweatshirt.

“Gesundheit.”

“Blesh-zoo, Mommy.”

“Thanks.”

“Take your pants off and I’ll plastic wrap the ice on for you, Prinzessin.”

Her ankle was a messy mix of swollen spots, purplish areas, deep lines from where the tape ended up too tight because of the swelling, and redness from the cold of walking home in sneakers without socks. It was in the kind of state where trying to rub or massage it for her would hurt more than provide any relief. The rider in general looked like an uncomfortable mix of redness and purple too. The redness was in her cheeks and the purple in the light bags under her eyes. André saw a tired, mildly sad, and very pained little girl who was badly in need of a hot shower, some painkillers, and a spot on the couch.

“What did you eat, Munchkin?”

“Samwich and mato soup. What about dessert?”

“It concerns me that you can’t say “sandwich” or “tomato” but you’ve got “dessert” down perfectly.” Christina cracked a small smile at her son, and she told André he could get the cherry tart for him before he got her a bag of ice. At least to him “dessert” means anything from ice cream to cheese or fruit salad, and not just sugary junk food, she decided, enjoying the happiness that filled the cute little face in the booster seat. Inside she felt slightly less glum than she appeared on the outside. Cold, rainy, low pressure days were rough on her various injuries, the horses were all kind of annoying, she had Nick on her mind, and the mood at the house on Saturday night and Sunday morning was hardly joyful. It actually surprised her to find André in such a generous and helpful one. It would have been understandable if he were glum. His girl hoped his relief in being able to play again would outweigh the disappointment of his team’s recent results, and she was mostly correct.

He fixed the bag of ice to her ankle so that there was some on both sides and directly on the most painful spot on her tendon at the back, wrapped it tight with the cheap plastic so she could move around with it, and sent her for that shower. Against his wishes, Christina decided she would make adult dinner after Lukas’ bedtime. She wanted spicy blackened chicken and bowties with butter and Parmesan. André wasn’t going to argue her desire for her version of comfort food, and he wasn’t going to ruin it by insisting he make it himself. He stayed out of her way in front of the TV. Eden was trying to get him to identify some girl anyway. The scorer of Chelsea’s winner on Saturday sent him an Instagram profile and asked if the mostly blonde-haired girl looked familiar.

“Did you meet her with Leigh? Was she friends with her and Dani?” he asked.

I don’t think so, André decided while he scrolled through her photos. The girl looked a bit older than Leigh, in her later-mid-20’s perhaps, with expensively dyed hair, small but pretty brown eyes, and probably a good sense of humor. She was smiling in nearly all of her selfies. There were none with “sexy” expressions, but a few where she was clearly pulling some kind of serious or pouty face to be funny. In the group shots, she was the shortest, even in heels. I’d hit it, the player concluded. Petit girls for the win, as my petit girl would say. Well-traveled girls are good too. They know how to conduct themselves in different places. This one seems to have been all over.

“I recognize some of the restaurants she goes to but not her” he wrote back to Eden. “And not any of her friends either, I don’t think. Quality though.” André added an emoji to give his seal of approval, without really knowing why he was giving his approval, or why his friend was asking about the girl.

“I am so sure I have seen her!”

“Did you just find her on IG?”

“She had some drinks with Juan at Lotus last night.”

“Why don’t you ask him about her then?” And oh man does he have to? Seriously? The BVB man frowned at his iPhone for a second and then switched back to the girl’s profile. I would love if he fell in love with some cute girl and left mine alone. I would not love what it would do to mine in the meantime. I can’t handle that right now. We finally got to normal. She’s finally pretty happy with everything, besides Nick. Not now, Juan. Ugh.

“He never talks about girls. If I ask he just says “none of your business”. You are sure you never met her? Where else would I know her?”

“How should I know? Is she English?”

“Does Jenni sound English to you bro”

“It sounds like an English girl called Jenny who wants to be ~exotic~”

“Too pretty to be from here.”

“True. Was Juan talking to her or just tolerating her?”

“Into it. Laughing, talking, hand on her leg the whole night. I think he has been fucking his ex-fiancé for some time, or dating her on the low. Maybe he is looking to update.”

“Chris.”

“What?”

“Is Juan back with Lex?”

“No,” Christina snorted from the kitchen. “Why?”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. Why are you asking?”

“Eden thinks he is.”

“I already told Nat to correct the record.” The rider rolled her eyes and stirred the boiling pasta. “Apparently everyone thinks he has a secret girlfriend or something.”

“Are you sure he doesn’t?” I don’t want to make her suspicious, but maybe she hasn’t even been telling me about what’s up with him, her partner thought. We don’t talk about him that much, except when she was drunk the other night and telling me about wanting me and him to fuck her together again.

“He does. It’s me,” was the flat reply from the kitchen.

“K.”

“I don’t know bro. Never seen her. Ask Juan if it’s going to bother you.”

“Ok I will”

Good luck. Juan really doesn’t discuss girls like he used to back in the day. And he can flirt with other girls but I swear, if he’s about to hurt Chris, I’m going to hurt him. Listen to me, André scoffed to himself. I’m sitting here threatening a guy not to fall for anybody and hurt my wife- a guy I have, for almost as long as I’ve been with her, wished would just go away and forget he knows her. How stupid.

“Why is Eden asking you about Juan and Lex?” Christina asked skeptically. Damn it. I shouldn’t have said anything.

“No one knows why Eden does anything.”

“Accurate. This is going to be done in like two minutes,” she warned, already in the process of slicing the chicken that made the whole house smell like charred goodness.

“Are we eating in there or over here?”

“Couch, definitely.”

Dodged the bullet. Now, do IIIIIIII ask Juan about the girl?