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punchelf · 4 years ago

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Ship Numbers: A L L

@tehjai

1. How do they fall asleep? Wake up? Any daily rituals?

Raubahn sleeps on his back, and Moni likes to fall asleep with her head on his shoulder and the rest of her half-draped over him like an elezen-shaped blanket. He loves his Elezen blanket. They both snore like freight trains.

They’re both early risers, so it’s a crapshoot who will wake up first, and they try not to wake each other up, unless they know there’s something the other has to be up for. She’s much quicker to “wake up”; it usually takes him a minute to be coherent enough to start his day.

Raubahn starts his day with black coffee and a big breakfast. Moni starts hers with a workout and black tea.

2. How’s their team work? Do they share well?

They’re both pretty independent and self-sufficient, but they figure out how to capitalize on each other’s strengths to split labor around the house. In professional settings, they work well together; she tends to defer to his leadership, but will also hold her own when she needs to. On the battlefield they can make an excellent team, because they have each other’s backs and are able to read each other really well, but occasionally their feelings for each other can get in the way of being able to make objective tactical decisions (which is something they have to really work through during the Ala Mhigan liberation).

They’re… weird about sharing. They both worked hard for what they have, and really value having things that they can call their own, but they also are both smart enough to recognize that they have to compromise if cohabiting is ever going to work for them. This often results in them just having two of things so they don’t have to share.

3. Are they open about their relationship? How do they feel about public displays of affection?

At first, absolutely not. Moni is adamant about this, partly out of a feeling of obligation to maintain the Scions’ veneer of neutrality when it comes to the Alliance, but also out of a desire to protect Raubahn’s reputation (and her own, but to a lesser extent). Pipin and Moni’s “godson” both find out completely accidentally, but they are sworn to secrecy by their respective parental unit. They don’t tell anyone else; Raubahn respects her wishes, but hates it, because it forces him to straight up lie to the Sultana on more than one occasion.

Once they begin the campaign to liberate Ala Mhigo, though, keeping their relationship a secret starts to get significantly more difficult (and they get careless) and more people close to them start to find out. After she returns from Doma, they basically agree to say “fuck it” and go public.

They are both very private about their personal lives by nature, so even after they go public with their relationship, they don’t flaunt it. The most PDA either of them would show is holding hands (and even that is rare).

4. First impression of each other? Was it love at first sight?

Moni: She got the sense that he was a kindred spirit, and someone who could handle her bluntness; she was definitely attracted to him physically (even if it took her awhile to admit it), but put him firmly in the “maybe friend” box.

Raubahn: He was interested from the get go. The Bull knows what he wants when he sees it.

5. [already answered]

6. Any tasks that are always left to one person?

Raubahn is not allowed to water the plants. He tried once and almost drowned her orchids.

7. What annoys them the most about their partner? Would they change it if they could?

Moni: his inability to say “no” to responsibilities

Raubahn: her recklessness

Nothing

8. What do they like best about their partner?

Moni: His patience

Raubahn: Her honesty

9. Do they discuss big issues? Religion? Marriage? Children? Death?

They like to discuss politics.

Neither is particularly religious, so no.

Marriage is… a topic. Raubahn wants to get married, because he’s more traditional in that way. Moni is more ambivalent about it; on the one hand, stability with someone she loves and respects, but on the other, fear of that kind of commitment and reluctance to plan long-term

They talk about children once, as in a “hey do you want kids” conversation, but pretty quickly agreed that they were past that point in their lives.

Death is a real and constant threat that looms over them and everyone they love. So no.

10. [already answered]

11. Do they celebrate holidays? Anniversaries?

They celebrate each other’s name days (both insist that they don’t want to make a big deal about it, but secretly love it when the other does), and major Ul’dan/Ala Migan holidays

12. Is there a wedding? What was the proposal like? Any kind of honeymoon?

TBD?????

13. What do they do for fun? Do they have a favorite activity or do they like to switch things up?

They like to workout together, spar, go to junk shops, and take walks.

They’re creatures of habit (it gives them both a sense of stability), so they fall into a routine pretty quickly.

14. Anything they both dread?

Sending the other off to battle

The other not returning from battle

15. [already answered]

16. Do they keep secrets? Lie? Cheat?

They’re generally very honest with each other, though she is more reticent to talk about her feelings. He is much more open about his life, but there are aspects of her life pre-Calamity that they simply Do Not Talk About.

Raubahn is a terrible liar, and Moni just doesn’t see the point in it.

They’re both extremely loyal, so definitely no cheating.

17. What would make them break up? Would it be permanent?

If Raubahn ever broke her trust, she’d be done, and depending on the severity, probably for good.

18. [already answered]

19. [already answered]

20. [already answered]

21. Do they share any interests or hobbies?

Ul’dan and Ala Mhigan politics and history

Card and dice games, working out, sparring

22. Does their work ever interfere with the relationship?

She’s the Warrior of Light, so yes, always.

23. How do they hug? Kiss? Tease? Flirt? Comfort?

Even with only one arm, Raubahn is a great hugger - think full on bear-hugs. Moni isn’t a hugger with most people, but she loves Raubahn hugs.

Kisses range anywhere from quick pecks to full-on sparring matches with tongues.

Moni is the bigger tease, but they both like to playfully rile the other up

They treat flirting like a verbal spar, and the winner is the one who leaves the other speechless

Moni is usually the one to need comforting (being the WoL + having a shit ton of emotional baggage is stressful, y’all), but Raubahn is really good at handling it. They both take a similar approach to comfort, holding space for the other to vent/process what they’re feeling while offering physical comfort (back rubs, hugs, etc.).

24. Any doubts about the relationship?

Moni had a lot of doubts at the beginning, almost all of them related to her own poor self-image. Raubahn also had moments of doubt, especially after she rejected his initial advances, and spent most of the months following being pretty well convinced that she hated him.

25. [already answered]

26. How do their friends feel about their relationship? Their families?

The reaction to their relationship is mixed.

Alphinaud is horrified

Y’shtola and Thancred are skeptical

Alisaie, Tataru, and Pipin are thrilled

Merlwyb and Kan-E-Senna are cautiously supportive (Kan-E totally called it, tho)

Nanamo is initially pissed that they didn’t tell her, but once she gets over that she is their biggest cheerleader.

27. Do they have kids? Grow old together? Split up?

They’re both past their prime child-rearing years when they get together, and Moni is unable to bear children, so they don’t have kids together. Raubahn has a grown son (Pipin), and Moni has a grown pseudo-son (son of a friend, who she helped raise and is still very close with), and they both try to build a good relationship with the other’s kid.

God I hope they get to grow old together.

28. What are their vacations like?

On the very rare occasion that they get to have time off at the same time, they like to travel, usually to somewhere remote, where they can have quality time without being bothered by literally anyone (but especially the Alliance/the Scions). They have a firm “no linkpearls” rule when they’re on vacation (Moni put her foot down after he kept getting distracted by calls from his Flame Captains during breakfast)

29. How do they handle disasters or emergencies? Minor injuries? Sickness?

Raubahn is better at handling emergencies; he has more experience with it, and generally has the more level-under-pressure personality of the two. She looks to him for guidance on how to respond a lot of the time, but can and does hold her own.

They have an unspoken rule to not fret over minor injuries. They’re in dangerous lines of work and injuries happen. Major injuries are a different story, though.

Raubahn is really bad about taking time off when he’s sick, but Moni is very good at handling him when he’s being stubborn about taking care of himself. She has a crazy good immune system, takes a lot of herbal supplements, and doesn’t get sick. Like, ever. Raubahn does not get it, and Twelve help her if she ever gets a cold because he’s picked up all of her tricks.

30. [already answered]

31. [already answered]

32. Do they ever get into trouble? Is it serious, or are they just mischievous?

No, he’s a law-and-order guy and she tries to keep her reckless anti-authoritarianism in check for his sake

33. [already answered]

34. Do they have any pets?

Just plants. So many goddamn plants. To quote Jai, “grats Flame General you're a plant dad now”

35. [already answered]

36. What’s their greatest strength as a couple? Their weakness?

Their relationship is built on a strong foundation of mutual trust and respect. They were friends and confidants before starting a romantic relationship, so a lot of the heavy emotional lifting was already done.

They’re both married to their duties, and it’s a constant, low-level stressor on them individually and as a couple.

37. How much would they be willing to sacrifice for the other? Any lines they refuse to cross?

They would both sacrifice their own physical safety (life if necessary) for the other

Neither is willing (or would want the other to) sacrifice their independence

38. What are they like in the bedroom? Any kinks/fetishes/turn-ons? Anything they won’t do?

They have an active and enthusiastic sex life, and their shared love language is physical touch, so even when they aren’t actively banging, they’re still probably touching each other in some way whenever they’re alone together.

They dabble in very light sub/dom play sometimes (pretty evenly split in terms of who does what), and Moni not-so-secretly loves when he exerts his strength (tossing her around, etc.)

Choking, spanking, bondage, humiliation, etc. are absolute no-go’s.

39 Who initiated the relationship? Who kissed who first? When did they realize they were in love?

Technically, Raubahn, but Moni opened the door for it when she jumped his bones after they ‘rescued’ the Sultana.

Raubahn. The first time went sideways, but the second time went A LOT better.

Raubahn realizes it first, in the midst of Operation Archon; Moni doesn’t figure it out until much later, during the Dragonsong War. He’s also the first to say the words (again, it takes her a little while)

40. [already answered]

41. Are they party-goers? What are they like when they’re drunk? Does it happen often?

He likes a good party of any size, she doesn't like crowds. Usually she’ll just send him off to party on his own and stay home if she knows there's going to be a lot of people. She doesn’t mind smaller gatherings, though.

Raubahn’s a happy, friendly drunk, and Moni just gets even more reckless than usual.

They drink regularly, but get drunk very rarely

42. Do they let each other get away with things that would normally bother them?

Absolutely. He’s allowed to pry into her past, and she’s allowed to call him on shit that no else but maybe Pipin is allowed to.

43. Do they talk often? What about?

When they’re apart, they try to talk at least once a day, if they can. Could just be a check in (“hey are you still alive?”), or to tell the other something funny that happened, or vent, or just say “I love you”. When they’re together, neither is particularly talkative, but they do occasionally get into rambling discussions about history or politics or whatever pressing matter one or the other is dealing with at the moment.

44. Are they comfortable with each other? Anything they have to have their privacy for?

They are very comfortable with each other, at least physically.

Using the bathroom.

45. [already answered]

#ask meme #writing prompt #ship prompt #ship: The Idiots #moni x raubahn

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madmandex-blog · 5 years ago

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Dexter Family Newsletter 2019

As I reflect back on our year, I can’t help but think of Charles Dickens and his classic line…..It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…...and how appropriate it might be to summarize our 2019.

It was the age of wisdom…….as in Kelsi completing her first year in grad school at Rockhurst University in Kansas City. If you didn’t know Kelsi and listened to her talk about school, you might think she is barely passing. If I had a nickel for every time Kelsi told me something like….That final exam did not go well; I did terrible….Only for me to later find out that she got something like a 107 on the test, well then I might have a lot of nickels to jingle in my pocket. Kelsi is getting all A’s as usual and well on her way to graduating in 2020 with a Masters in Speech Pathology. She is enjoying her classes and her clinical training, and has a great supervisor who is guiding her to be gainfully employed later in 2020, most likely in a school setting. Nic is also excelling at Rockhurst and working on his Doctorate in Physical Therapy. What impresses me most about Nic and Kelsi is that they indeed have wisdom in their respective areas of study. In other words, they really seem to know their shit. Meanwhile, Kaylee Jo is now in her sophomore year in high school where she obsesses about getting good grades, which she always does. Ava Jae is in 8th grade and doing well. Don’t tell anyone, but, I consider her my smartest kid.

It was the age of foolishness…….as in Mike spending countless hours managing and competing in a mere 7 fantasy football leagues, or in Mike completing his 42nd Old Chicago World Beer Tour. Along the way, I earned a leather lettermen jacket which Kelly just today told me that I looked like my Dad when wearing it. I took that as a compliment and proudly wore it about town where people looked at me in awe, as they often do, but, I digress. Mike also became a more well-rounded drinker in 2019. You see, I was lucky to get to spend a lot of time with my eldest daughter this summer who not only got me addicted to the Crime Junkies Podcast, but also too good wine. Credit is also due to the great Tackes family for showing me the redeeming virtues of drinking wine and now even whiskey. So don’t be surprised to see me knocking back a Red Cab or sipping a bourbon in a cool sophisticated fashion. If only, I had known about these things years ago…..what might have been, or perhaps not been, like 42 beer tours.

It was the epoch of belief……..in love and marriage as Kelsi became Mrs. Nic Arnone on August 10th in what turned out be an awesome ceremony and beautiful day for the two of them. When they were both working on details like what are we having for having for dessert a couple of days before the big day, I was frankly a little worried, but, as it turns out the two of them are master wedding planners. Everything was great from the venue, to the decorations, to the caterer, to the photographer, and most importantly…..to the bartender, backed by yours truly stocking the bar. Yes, we had an awesome reception and we were so blessed to have so many of you travel all the way to Kansas City to celebrate with us! In case you weren’t able to be there, rumor has it that there is video available of Mike’s fantastic wedding toast speech. Sure, there are critics like Kaylee and Ava who will say, it wasn’t all that, but, most of those at the reception gave me high fives for my performance…at least the ones who were drinking that is. Kelsi is most happy that as a Speech Therapist that I finally learned how to pronounce her new last name. For those of you who don’t know, you need to emphasize the last “e” in Arnone as it is an Italian name. After meeting Nic’s family, I finally believe he is indeed Italian, after I had long presumed he was Norwegian or Swedish given his fair skin, blue eyed, blonde hair good looks.

It was the epoch of incredulity…….and speaking of family heritage, Mike took the Ancestry DNA test in 2019. Upon arrival of the test kit, I was in great disbelief as to how hard it actually is to fill up a one ounce test tube with saliva. Trust me, it was challenging. As it turns out, I am 59% English, 33% Irish, 3% Swedish, 3% German, and 2% Norwegian, which makes me 110% Awesome, which I didn’t need a DNA test to know. So far, it is incredulous that I have not found any long lost rich relatives who want to connect with me, but, I will keep the hope. Speaking of incredulous, Ava will be in high school next year, while Kaylee will have her Driver’s License in as few as 17 more days! I for one can’t believe we all survived her driver’s training, which started in local parking lots and proceeded to hairpin turns, around tight corners, at the speed of light. Only A.J. Foyt could have pulled off some of the harrowing driving miracles that I witnessed at times this summer! But, we all survived, and with no dents in our vehicles! I joke (sort of); Kaylee is actually a very good driver and was even told that she best driver in her Driver’s Ed class. So you can feel safe when you see her drive by you in her 2007 BMW, which Drew gave to her as a Christmas present to her shrieking delight. This is now the 2nd time Drew has given a car to one of his sisters. I can only hope that he has another one to hand down to Ava in a few years. The good news for Ava is that Drew has said that his next car will be a Tesla.

Even more incredulous is that a once self-proclaimed liberal, who once carved a pumpkin in the likeness of then candidate Barack Obama is morphing into a conservative right before our very eyes. Yes, people are in a state of disbelief over these developments. While he does not yet host a show on Fox News, many have looked in disbelief at Mike as he shares his theories on the likes of capital punishment. Not to mention, the poor teachers of Dunlap who look to their email boxes in fear that they might receive another long diatribe from Mike on what is wrong with our educational system. Don’t worry, Mike still has a few liberal ideas and is still proud of President Obama. But, might we see a Trump carved pumpkin on Mike’s doorstep in 2020?

As a final point on incredulity, I bet you can’t believe how long this newsletter is as I can’t believe you are still reading it. Don’t worry, more good stuff is coming.

It was the season of light……for Nic and Kelsi who enjoyed an awesome honeymoon trip to Disney and the bright beaches of Ft. Lauderdale. Kelly and Ava also traveled to sunny Florida, with stops at Disney and the beaches of Tampa-St. Pete, while attending Ava’s Starquest World Dance Finals in Orlando. Ava and her dance teammates at MLSD continued to shine on the dance floor, while bringing home lots of trophies along the way. Ava and her DMS POMS teammates also brought home a trophy from the State Finals this year in the Jr. High Division. Ava is again on the DMS POMS team and also spending lots of time at the MLSD dance studio. We can’t wait to see her compete again in 2020, which will include her first ever solo performance. And, her latest dance project involves trying to teach her Dad how to dance in Tik Tok videos with her! These will surely go viral. Meanwhile, Ava is still Ava….always energetic, always wanting to do something, always wanting Starbucks, and always, always asking me for something or to do something. She is my constant season of light. In fact, I sometimes think of Ava as Carol Anne like from the Poltergeist movie. You see she has a life force that is hard to match and keeps me smiling, cursing, smiling, yelling smiling and speaking of yelling….. Kelly might occasionally yell at Ava (as she is this very minute!) and/or Kaylee for their continued inability and/or unwillingness to do seemingly simple things like throw a wrapper in the actual garbage can, maintain a room where you can actually see the floor, etc. Kelly is still Kelly, the straw that stirs our drink, the one who tries to keep us in check, and the one we, including our dogs can all rely on. Kelly continues to work with awesome kids, who happen to have a few special needs, at Dunlap Middle School. I likely have said this before, but, they, like us, are lucky to have her.

The season of light was also in full effect for Drew in 2019. Like most people do, he took a month vacation, this time in sunny South Africa, where he did things like go on a safari, dive into the ocean in a shark cage to see a Great White, see the great water falls of Victoria Falls, hang out in the desert of Namibia, and lounge on the beaches and climb the mountains of Cape Town. He also spent a month in Manhattan for work. Drew lives in the River North area of Chicago, where we all enjoy visiting him. Thanksgiving in Chicago was a highlight. In January, Drew has plans to visit Vietnam for a few weeks and make a stop at Boracay in the Philippines. Yes, it sucks to be Drew. He will also have extended work assignments in Boston and Washington, D.C., so stay tuned to his social media pages for amazing photographs and drone videos to document his journeys.

It was the season of darkness…….for both Mike and Kaylee, who unlike the rest of the family did not feel the sand under their toes of the warm sunshine upon their faces. The longest trip these two took in 2019 was to Rochester, Minnesota, in the midst of winter, to attend Kaylee’s Speedo Sectional Championship Meet. Despite the cold and snow, we both had fun. And in the hopes of coming out of the darkness, I admit to the world (and mostly Kelly) that I received a speeding ticket on the way home, while dodging potholes and trying to stay interested while driving the monotonous roadways of the northland. This has been a secret that only Kaylee and I have shared, with Kaylee often smiling and blurting out a whoo-whoo-police siren like sound anytime she felt it necessary to seek favor with me, while in the presence of my wife. So, Kelly, my beautiful, loving, forgiving wife, now you know and Kaylee, you have nothing to hold over my head any longer, at least for the time being.

It was the spring of hope…….for Kaylee and her commitment to the sport of swimming. She continues to love the sport, and work hard, and has renewed resolve to achieve her goals. She has a group of great friends on the team and is driven by Jersey Mike, her new coach, who yours truly worked hard to recruit to Peoria, along with the rest of it was the PAWW team. Kaylee made a tough decision to forgo her high school swim season in favor of making a greater training commitment. I was proud of her resolve in making this decision and remain proud of her in all aspects of what she does, and who she is, with the great exception of her sense of what a clean room is J.

It was the winter of despair…….as Kelly and Mike look around their house and dream of home improvements in 2020, while still wondering how we can pay for things like dance classes, swimming, and college. Kelly and Mike did close out the year by replacing our 20 year old kitchen appliances. Back to those kids who can’t seem to hit the broad side of a barn with a wrapper, let alone a waste basket, we purchased a fancy new waste can in a last ditch effort to solve the problem. The new stainless steel trash can is our new pride and joy and opens automatically at the wave of the hand. While enjoying all this new technology, our dryer just went out, so back to Sherman’s we go! Speaking of technology, Kelly and Mike finished the year with a fun night in Chicago where a true life robot delivered “forgotten toothbrushes” to our room. In addition to home improvements in the New Year, more resolutions for Mike include meditation, yoga, and drinking more wine (but only the good stuff). I think all three of these can likely be done at the same time.

Yes, it was the best of times, it was the worst of times….Like all families, we had some challenges to deal with, but those were far outweighed by many blessings. I am very lucky to have an awesome wife, four awesome kids and new son-in-law, our two awesome dogs Tahyo and Isla, along with our awesome family and friends. We have had a wonderful Christmas as a family and look forward to a great 2020! Thank you and Merry New Year to you all! May God bless you in new ways in the New Year!

P.S. – I consider this a living document in that I will likely be asked to edit for omissions, inaccuracies, offenses to my beloved family members, or over the likely fact that I wrote some of the same exact words last year.

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fingersinhisass · 6 years ago

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DO ALL THE QUESTIONS FOR AL, MY FAVORITE, BELOVED, BEST BOY.

YES MA’AM OF COURSE MA’AM

1. what does music mean to them? what role does it play in their life?

he likes it well enough, he’s always enjoyed dancing and is an incurable habitual whistler. the only songs that really have any deep meaning for him are probably the lullabies his mom would sing to him when he was just a lil’ kid, which have been passed down in his family for generations. (he 100% sings them to his own kids when he has them.)

2. if you were to hug them, what would they smell like?

pipe smoke with a hint of lavender. he keeps lavender sachets in all of his clothing drawers and his handkerchiefs all smell like it. his mom grows lavender on her farm so he picks some every time he visits

3. what’s their favorite food?

the simple, rich soup his mom would make in the winter on the rare times they had a bit of meat to spare, but also just soup in general. he’s fond of a good soup.

4. what’s their least favorite food?

porridge. yech. bad memories.

5. do they like nature? if they do, what’s their favorite natural setting (woods, beach, desert, lake, etc.)?

he likes nature from a distance. he doesn’t like nature if it ruins his clothes. which is most of the time. generally he prefers to stay away from any sort of hiking or camping – he’s a city boy at heart – but he appreciates the beauty of the open fields around his mother’s farm.

6. what’s their most prominent personality trait?

he’s. he’s an idiot. an exceptionally charming, exceptionally kind idiot.

7. what’s their mbti?

jeez idk. i don’t even know my own mbti

8. hogwarts house?

probably gryffindor

9. d&d alignment?

neutral good

10. if they were in a modern high school clique (jocks, goths, hipsters, geeks, etc.), what would it be? why?

oof. he would hang out with the delinquents because at that age he was also a delinquent and also just. noticeably poor. he’d generally keep to himself but he’s got a pretty hot temper and i wouldn’t be surprised if he got into fights a lot over shit kids would say.

11. tea or coffee?

both? coffee for the caffeine if he’s working a case, tea for leisure and pleasure

12. dusk or dawn?

dawn. for some reason he strikes me as an early bird. but also the kind of person who stays up all night doing something they’re intensely focused on and getting no sleep? but when he is getting reasonable sleep, he likes to wake up early. he likes the sunrise

13. country or city?

city for sure. he likes his mom’s farm, but he went back to the city after he left the gang for a reason – it stole his heart a long, long time ago and he couldn’t stay away.

14. what do they do in their free time? do they have any hobbies?

al isn’t the kind of person who really has free time – he’s kind of a workaholic when it comes to his job since it’s intensely important to him. that being said, when he does have free time, he likes to read poetry and go see live performances in taverns, things like that. he’s a sap for a good romance story.

15. do they like animals? if they do, which ones?

he likes animals, but he’s terrible at keeping them. i think he had a big ferret in the campaign once that he stole???? no idea what happened to that

16. how are they in platonic relationships?

he has very few of those, considering his devotion to his job and his sketchy past. he’s the kind of person that’s liked by many but truly known by few – he’s outwardly charming and charismatic and a very likable person, but people who’ve known him for years realize frequently that they know next to nothing about him.

17. how are they in romantic relationships?

absolutely doting, sometimes to the point of suffocation for some people. he’s all about giving himself over to the relationship – when he does things he cares about, he puts himself into them totally and completely. he doesn’t halfass anything. he’s also an absolute hopeless romantic and a surprisingly eloquent poet, despite the fact that he’s not very smart, so he likes to shower his partners in little surprises and gifts and thoughtful love letters.

18. do they have any insecurities about themselves?

hoo boy. he considers himself a monster. full stop.

19. what’s their favorite genre of book or movie (if they like to read or watch movies)?

oh romance, hands down.

20. what would their dream vacation look like?

see: his and shaelle’s beach honeymoon tbh

21. how many hours of sleep do they get on average?

oh lord. between insomnia, nightmares, and and all-nighters for work, he is a bad sleeper. at best he gets maybe 2-5 hours; at worst he gets none. luckily he’s an elf, so. i don’t think technically they’re supposed to need to sleep? but fuck it, he needs to recharge SOMEHOW, so i say he needs sleep.

22. what is their body shape? are they trim or tubby? tol or smol?

he’s tall for an elf, about 5′10, 5′11. thin, wiry body with taut, lean muscle. shoulders a bit on the wider side and a trim waist. legs for fucking years, y’all. he hansom.

23. if you had to pick five words/phrases (objects, places, weather, etc.) to describe your oc’s aesthetic, what would you pick?

the curl of smoke from a pipe, a man’s silhouette outlined against a streetlight, the soft, warm ambient chatter and music of a bar, golden cufflinks and a sharply pressed suit, a purple ribbon tied around a roll of parchment with a flourish

24. do they hold onto grudges?

only if the wrongdoing was against someone he cares about

25. are they fiscally responsible? or would they prefer spending with wild abandon?

having grown up in deep poverty, he tries his best to be frugal with his money. that being said, he is very, very weak to neckties and is absolutely an impulsive spender.

26. what’s their favorite kind of weather?

hot, lazy summer days and soft, mild spring evenings with just the slightest nip to the air

27. how old would they be if they didn’t know how old they are? (e.g., what’s their mental age?)

oh jeez, that’s hard. he’s been through some fuckin shit. probably like. mid to late forties? or the elf equivalent of that. so a good fifteen to twenty elf years older

28. what’s their opinion of children? how are they around children?

he fucking ADORES children and gets along with them fantastically. he thinks they are incredible, fantastic little creatures and dreams of being a dad.

29. what’s their sexual orientation?

probably pansexual, with a bit of a preference for men, although he ends up marrying a woman.

30. what’s their favorite color?

any and all shades of purple.

31. what temperature would they prefer the room to be?

he runs a bit warm-blooded, so probably in the high sixties, but he’s also not one to pick a fight over the thermostat.

32. how mannered are they? how proper do they act?

he’s very, very lucky he’s so naturally charming. he was able to pick up on things very quickly once he started mingling with higher society, but he still is more inclined to dislike nobles simply because of his upbringing.

33. how do they dress?

very well, for within his budget. he’s a detective, so he’s not rich, but he’s certainly better off than he was as a child. still, he loves clothes and looking good, so he dresses like a gentleman as much as possible. he’s very fashionable.

34. which season do they prefer? why?

summer. lots of good childhood memories associated with it.

35. what is their “morning ritual”?

if he gets the chance to actually sleep through the night, he wakes up, makes himself some tea, washes his face, brushes his teeth, combs and styles his hair, chooses an outfit and puts it on, smokes his pipe and grabs a newspaper on the way out to work. otherwise he does all of that but without the waking up part and with very, very strong coffee instead of tea.

36. what is their “nighttime ritual”?

on the nights he isn’t working a case into the wee hours of the morning, he takes a bath with a glass of wine and some poetry or a romance novel, then brushes his teeth, changes into his pajamas, and reads in bed until he feels ready to fall asleep.

37. have they ever had a one-sided crush?

no, actually. again, he is remarkably lucky he’s so goddamn charming. usually people he’s interested in tend to be interested right back. whether that goes past the initial mutual attraction is a different story.

38. do they like art? what form?

he’s very fond of music and writing, and admires paintings and illustrations as well

39. how do they read a book (if at all)? slowly, over the course of a few days, or within a few hours? do they sit, stand, lay down, all of the above?

usually he has to do his reading in the brief snippets of free time he can snatch up between work, so it can take him months to finish a fairly short book. he usually reads either in bed or on the loveseat in the living room of his apartment, and frequently falls asleep reading in both.

40. do they have any recurring dreams/nightmares?

oh yep. all sorts of stuff he regrets from his time as a thief/assassin. he’s literally got a whole selection of nightmares that like to replay themselves from night to night.

41. what would be their favorite subject in school? (e.g., English, Math, Science, History, Recess, etc.)?

oh english for sure, he has great appreciation for the written word

42. what physical features do they find attractive on other people?

kalsjdf;adjfklajsdklf idk. he likes shaelle’s hands and hair and neck – he finds them all very elegant and lovely and they’re probably written about in some of the letters he sends her, ngl.

43. are they patient or impatient? what situations would make them feel one or the other?

he’s generally pretty patient, especially when conducting investigations, but he has a very short fuse when it comes to people he perceives as committing an injustice or a wrongdoing. his sense of justice is very strong.

44. what is their opinion of authority?

sometimes it should be respected, other times it shouldn’t. it’s all circumstantial. usually based on whether he agrees with them or not.

45. what is their opinion of tradition?

he doesn’t have much tradition to speak of, other than the bit of elvish culture his mother passed on to him. it’s very important to him because he associates it with her.

46. are they into folklore and/or conspiracy theories? or do they think both are garbage?

he doesn’t really care about them either way, tbh.

47. if they were to have a “happy place” they retreated to in their mind during stressful/boring situations, what would that place be? what would be in it?

a comfortable study space with a crackling fireplace, full bookshelves, and a cozy armchair to read or fall asleep in.

48. what is one value they hold higher than any other, in others and in themselves? (e.g., loyalty, intelligence, compassion, responsibility, etc.)

probably compassion. like i said, he’s got a very strong sense of justice and cares deeply for the wellbeing of others, especially innocents.

49. what is/are their love language(s)?

gifts for sure

50. what is their opinion of cheese?

excellent. he enjoys a good cheese every now and again.

#alphonse #it speaks #i love my son............. i love talking about him #thank u carly

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teacherintransition · 3 years ago

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Inner Healing Rarely Comes From a Medicine Bottle

Confronting the pain … the loss … often alone helps you see that hope is still there.

My nephew is following the path of the ancients when life takes a devastating turn… the pilgrimage, the sojourn, an odyssey a journey to reconcile his desire for joy in life in the face of mind numbing loss…

In the early morning hours of the 28th of February, 2021 the Rich family who followed after my father, Roland Rich; my wife, my three sons, their wives, my grandchildren, my sister’s son, my brother, his wife, his son, his daughter, his daughter in law, his grandchildren all were peacefully sleeping through the last moments of the world as we knew it. By 9:30am of the 28th, the existence of what we all knew was gone, ripped from our grasp in the form of a violent, horrific car accident that claimed the life of Matthew Paul Rich. Matthew, my brother’s son was twenty four, a husband and father of two little children was no more … the twenty five and more members of his family plus dozens of close friends, in a year where death had been all too prevalent due to a pandemic of historical proportions, were now dealing with a personal loss of a young who was a boundless source of joy to all who knew him. Nothing would ever be the same. But, …. This isn’t Matthew’s story …

No, this isn’t a story about Matthew Rich, though the laughter and joy he brought could fill volumes. I’m not writing about his beautiful wife and lovely children. These words have little to do with a father who had lost his son. This is the story of Matthew’s brother and best friend… my nephew Cory Patrick Rich, whose loss of Matthew created a unique devastation of spirit yet, awakened in him a refusal to relinquish the happiness in life so often provided by his brother.

Cory was born on the 12th of July, 1991 to Brian and Vickie Keith-Rich in Conroe, Tx. He was and is still to some degree a loner but in a healthy manner. He graduated from Klein Oak High School in 2009. My nephew is intense… he LOVES his family, he loves deep intense conversations with them, which is a trait directly inherited from my dad, his grandfather, Roland Rich. His intensity also showed sometimes in his temper, “il peperoncino fa scaglie nel culo,” and like many young men who are eighteen or nineteen, lacked direction… and it caused him a little trouble. Despite this, Cory has always shown the ability to make sound decisions in stressful times. To get some focus, Cory enlisted in the United States Army and served in Kuwait during time of war. He knew that many of his family members whom he deeply respected followed a long tradition of military service: his grandfather was a twelve year Navy veteran; his cousin, my son, is a USMC veteran; his step brother served in the Army for 8 years; his second cousin on his fathers side was in the United States Navy SOG (Navy Seals); a great uncle who retired from the USAF; and an great uncle who served in the Navy during WWII… and on back through time to the American Revolution. The discipline and focus was exactly what he needed … Cory knew that.

When he left the army he, like many young men, pondered what would they do with their lives, but he had a rock that kept him grounded: his brother Matthew. Often brothers have rocky relationships. My brother Brian and I have been known to butt heads, some have distance that is sad to see. My sons love to provoke each other and argue much too much. Then there’s Matthew and Cory. Did they fight? Yes. Did they argue? Yes. They were, for much of their lives, raised apart as many children are due to divorce, but there was something special going on there. I have seen men who were close brothers; I have seen brothers who were best friends, but rarely have I seen many who were incredibly close brothers and best friends to each other. Separately, they were funny guys and opposite sides of the same coin. Matt was laid back, cordial, a peacemaker and genuinely put everyone at ease; Cory is curious, a seeker of ideas and often a bit hot headed. They played off each other’s strengths and assuaged their weaknesses. They looked out for each and dreamed dreams with each other. My brother and I haven’t always gotten along, but now, at 55, we’ve found a commonality of thought, even though that tension lurks just beneath the surface. Matt and Cory were a team … a powerful entity when together. Then, with the precision of the marking of a calendar… they weren’t.

This piece will not rehash the horrid details of that awful morning, or share the agony of a young widow or the pain of a mother who lost her baby. This is a story of the path of a lost young man. Dr. Elisabeth Kubler Ross in her timeless study on how humans cope with grief, wrote there were five stages we go through when we lose a loved one. I observed Cory experience four of them: denial, anger, bargaining, and depression. The final stage: acceptance was stopped by an emotional brick wall. In all honesty, Cory, Brian, me (although my pain was to a much lesser extent) did all the right things to cope and some of the negative things you would expect. We argued, we cried, we drank too much, we self medicated, we had nightmares….remember my mention of Cory’s intensity? It was as you’d expect. My brother answered the call of being the patriarch and set the example for his family, I was there to help him when being the solid foundation was too much. Cory jumped in and took on the role Matt’s kids desperately needed. He spent his free time with them, took the son to soccer practice, helped Matt’s widow cope, comforted his mother … he showed a maturity and responsibility beyond expectation. All the while, Cory was so very much alone in processing his loss while attending to his loved ones.

My brother wisely planned a family trip to California to visit his wife’s son. The intentions were perfect, a family taking a step towards normalcy. From my own struggles with mental and emotional health, I learned that when situations approach a calm, the deep seeded pain that you haven’t been able to face, will rise to the surface as the progress that has been made will have your mind tell you, “ok, it’s time to deal with more stuff.” This happened on their trip. I told my brother that this wasn’t a setback but a step forward to deal with a loss that no human could take on all at once. Cory had taken no time for himself. He was spinning his wheels and the pain would not abate. I mentioned earlier that Cory had shown sound decision making in the past during times of emotional distress, he was about to embark on what I view, as a courageous, healthy, well thought out, wisdom beyond his years path towards healing. Cory was going on the road with his little dog Chewie in search of peace.

Like Homer, Ibn Battuta, Strabo, Xuan Zang, Thomas Jefferson, Isabella Byrd, Michael Palin, Jack Kerouac or Anthony Bourdain … Cory was not going on vacation, Cory was not going to “party.” The travelers mentioned above were seeking truth, understanding, community…Cory was going to find a way to live with the loss of his little brother. All to often, we will wallow in self pity and depression, harm ourselves or drop out of living altogether. Very few of us have the courage to go headlong and face our fear and pain and conquer it by seeing others in our world contend with tragedy and be inspired. To seek comfort traveling alone and realizing that none of us are truly alone is a daunting task. I would say that most people have dreamed of hitting the open road to “find ourselves “ and carrying a little regret at not having the balls to do it. Cory has no time schedule, no mapped out path, no preplanned itinerary…his heart and Chewie’s needed pit stops are his only considerations. Well, in truth, there is one destination and hundreds of ways to get there. Matt went on his honeymoon with Rachel his wife to Colorado. He was in awe of the beauty of the vistas. They returned home and, of course, he made a pact with his brother, “Cory brah, promise me that we will climb Pikes Peak together.” Cory promised… Matt is there on the summit ready to embrace his brother and tell him, “it’s ok dude, I’m good, thank you for caring for my family. I’m ok brah, go live …go live…go live …for me.”

My nephew has been gone for three weeks. His path on the map looks like pretzels. He’s been to New Mexico, Arizona, Utah, California, Oregon, Idaho, Montana, Illinois, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Maine, West Virginia, Missouri and numerous places. He is heading towards Pikes Peak today …something powerful is going to happen …and Cory Patrick Rich had the courage to face it. I know this entry in my blog seems quite incomplete. “Where’s the details of the place he visited? What’d he eat? How’s he doing?” are questions that are being asked. I’ll let you know when he gets back. I also kept many of the names of Matt’s family unwritten so as to focus on one man’s personal sojourn. Each of us have a story through this nightmare we’ve experienced, but this is Cory’s and he still has many miles to travel before he can rest.

"Kathy, I'm lost", I said, though I knew she was sleeping

I'm empty and aching and I don't know why

Counting the cars on the New Jersey Turnpike

They've all come to look for America

All come to look for America

All come to look for America*

*Simon, Paul; “America;” Kobalt Music Services; 1968

https://youtube.com/channel/UClK_MAvZtDiLmlp-4HIN7NA

http://labibliotecacoffee.com/

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msmardin · 4 years ago

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𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐥𝐞.

name: lale allen mardin.

age: thirty-four years old.

birthday: 13th september, 1986.

height: 157 cm, or 5′2.

build: slender, soft and feminine. hourglass figure. very little muscle tone.

tattoos and piercings: each of her earlobes, once, and that’s all.

where were you born: istanbul, turkey.

city you live in: london.

suburb of city you live in: hampstead village.

relationship status: recently ( very publicly ) divorced.

children: none.

next of kin: her father, johnathan allen.

siblings: she has three adoptive sisters and one biological twin brother, but i don’t want to name them because i plan on putting in connections for them at some point, so i want to leave that open.

sexuality: bisexual.

occupation: retired actress. screenwriter.

how did you get your job: she expressed her interest in acting at an early age, so her fathers began taking her to auditions when she was just a little girl. the older she got, the less and less she enjoyed being in front of the camera, though — like acting was an old pair of shoes that she’d outgrown. so eventually she retired, and began screenwriting instead. thus far, it’s been far more fulfilling for her.

education: no further than secondary school. she’s intelligent, she just never had the time.

illnesses/allergies: none.

star sign: virgo.

temperament: phlegmatic.

personality type: infj.

what are their three flaws: she’s stubborn to no end. her ex husband always thought that was a charming trait, while they were still in their honeymoon phase. she’s also very introverted, and not always the best at communicating her own feelings. it makes her seem alluringly mysterious when you first get to know her, but again... in the long run, it can cause some friction in a relationship — platonic or otherwise. she’s a creature of habit, not exactly adventurous, and getting her out of her comfort zone can be a chore.

𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬.

favourite smell: anything earthy or woodsy. she prefers unisex perfumes for that reason.

favourite food: authentic tacos.

favourite drink: red wine. cabernet sauvignon or syrah, preferably.

favourite sweets: baklava.

favourite colour: blue.

favourite thing to collect: vinyl records, and shoes.

favourite music: fleetwood mac, queen, david bowie, etc.

favourite book genre: nonfiction. she loves a good memoir.

favourite item of clothing: gold hoop earrings.

favourite time of year: autumn.

favourite hobby: writing. dancing, but strictly in private.

favourite kink: praise.

𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝.

lale was born in istanbul, turkey. — she only lived there until she was three years old, however, so she doesn’t remember her childhood in turkey at all. both she and her twin brother grew up in foster care until they were adopted by a couple from london. johnathan allen, one of her fathers, is originally from boston. yusuf mardin, her other father, was similarly born in turkey and later relocated to the uk. neither of her dads ever required any of their five adopted children to call them dad, so growing up, lale eventually came to call them john and joe respectively.

the first rule of the allen mardin household is that no one is discouraged from doing what they want to do with their lives. so when lale wanted to become an actress when she was just five years old... that’s what she got to do.

very mary kate and ashley olsen esque, she got a role in a popular sitcom. the show ran for ten seasons in the early 90s. she could probably retire on the money that she gets from the syndication of those rerun episodes alone, but lale went on to have a relatively impressive acting career. she stuck to television until she was in her 20s. she moved out to hollywood when she was 22 and began getting roles in films — action and horror movies, most often. in movies, she quickly gained a reputation as a scream queen, final girl type.

she met her husband while auditioning for the cult classic the cove. it was a slasher film, centered around a group of young twenty-somethings vacationing in a cabin on a lake. the plot was rather simple: one by one, the characters die in gory and memorable ways. the last character standing was kate. the final girl. attractive, brunette, a cheerleader for the college football team. lale landed the role. two weeks into filming, she started having an affair with the director. six months later, they were married.

she was 26 at the time, and hindsight is 20/20. they weren’t a couple that was meant to last, although they tried to make it work. at the age of 29, lale retired from acting altogether and began screenwriting instead. at 30, she grew more and more distant from her husband, spending more time in london with her family than she did in los angeles with him. it didn’t come as much of a shock when she found out that he was cheating on her. didn’t come as much of a shock to her, anyway. the media had a field day with it, like they always do.

lale filed for divorce a year go. the whole thing was public, portrayed as far more nasty in the press than it truly was behind the scenes, and exited the news cycle about six months ago now.

afterward, lale invested £6 million on a home in hampstead village and turned all of her attention to writing her next script.

#dossier › 𝐥𝐦 #london:intro

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stuntiteachers · 7 years ago

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Masterpost of all the Post-series conclusions to Stuntiteacher AU stories

Mun: Here you go everyone! All the conclusions to stories I’ve had in my head these past few months, I hope you enjoy them for as long as it took me to write them all. I think I’ll probably draw some of these for my own enjoyment, as well as in general stuff regarding my favorite designs and what not. Like previously stated, I’m not done with this blog yet, this is more a precaution and just an in general “open endings to the stories”. I know some of these things are things people wanted to know about!

Post-Stuntiteachers AU

Please note that Cybertron and Earth are treated as two continents on the same planet in this AU.

Bee Team and Steeljaw travelled back to Cybertron to confront the corrupted high council. Very similar to in canon events, Cyberwarp managed to be a reckoning force that took Cyclonus down. The five were sentenced to prison, with Cyberwarp being in a separate jail and with a lessened punishment for her actions.

The new council is set up, with Windblade having to leave her teaching position in Earth until Cybertron elects their new council properly. Steeljaw, having the most authority regarding Decepticon affairs at that point, becomes an ambassador for Decepticons both in jail and out (until Soundwave and/or Starscream come out of their comas). He chooses to return to Earth to be with his own allies but keeps communications open and active with the Autobots to keep his post (he wants to make a change happen, and this is his best opportunity). Bee and his team return to their true home in Earth and resume their teaching/police jobs.

But you’re all here for the shipping side of things, so here we go on post-series fates.

Bee and Steeljaw awkwardly become friends through the Autobot/Decepticon alliance. At first it was still just strictly work related meetings but over time Steeljaw would just pull stuff to get his attention. Nothing past platonic, but an interesting development to both of their characters. Bee becomes more aware of what life is like for the Decepticons and becomes more sympathetic, while Steeljaw learns from Bee how to be a better person and strengthen his own existing relationships with his teammates and partner. After a while, they decide to make life easier for them work wise and do video chats every now and then (in private locations cause you don’t need cops finding out where your hideouts are).

Sideswipe and Strongarm both come out and confess their affections to Windblade when she returns back to Earth, and awkwardly ask which one of them she would consider dating if interested. Windblade takes a day to think, and decides if it was alright with them, she’d like to date them both. The three of them are very happy together, even if Strongarm and Sideswipe still squabble like children every now and then.

Grimlock and Drift remain good friends after Drift confides in Grim how he’s not particularly interested in romantic affairs (Grim is totally understanding about it and started asking before giving Drift big hugs). Drift even assists Grimlock in attempting to try asking Bumblebee out. Bee, although extremely flustered and nervous at the advance, accepts.

Slipstream and Jetstorm grow up with their ambitions of wanting to be police rookies and maybe one day becoming private investigators. They both suspect they’ll end up chasing down Airazor and Divebomb one day, as the two are trying to become bounty hunters like their dad. But until then, in their teen years, the four of them became close friends, and try double dating for a while, much to their fathers’ hesitation (“I’m not becoming an in-law to HIM no matter what”).

Fixit becomes an official un-official addition to the Clay family, moving in with Denny and Russell. He’s extremely happy every time he’s referred to as family although he lacks a proper connection to them in terms of title (“This is Fixit! He’s family!” “So what, your uncle or?” “He’s family!”). Fixit is also on great terms with Russell’s mother, funny enough, they bonded quickly. When they got to college, Russell and Hank, who recently transitioned, became roommates.

They’ve never been mentioned in this AU, but Optimus and Ratchet got married and went on a month long honeymoon vacation when everything was over that marked the start of their retirement until they were ever needed again. I don’t make the rules…except I do, and these grandpas need a break.

A number of the captured Decepticons were given revised trials and changed sentences after Steeljaw became a temporary part of the council. The more violent and likely to cause harm cons stayed, but ones with less malicious motivations were granted pardons under the guise of “being a part of the mind control plot from the previous council”, thanks to Steeljaw’s manipulation. This allowed him to free his previous pack team of Thunderhoof, Quillfire, Underbite and Clampdown as well as some cons like Fracture, reuniting them with their families and loved ones. In addition to this, Decepticons were given more rights in their government, granting them more job opportunities, resources to shelters for the homeless cons, and marriage and adoption rights (proper official ones instead of the shady ones they got away with for years).

After they awoke from their respective comas (a few days apart ironically), Starscream and Soundwave were told of what the High Council was trying to do in terms of trying to summon Megatron. After a very one sided conversation between the two former commanders, they both understood exactly what it meant when Megatron left them both behind, Soundwave facing the grim acceptance at last and Starscream slowly but surely taking a step forward to his own mental recovery by not pursuing his abuser for a satisfaction he might not even get. Once hearing about how there was elections for a new high council, Starscream went to run for an official position promoting rights for the Decepticons while also bringing Cybertron to equal footing in terms of alliances (essentially taking over Steeljaw’s temporary position), while Soundwave, true to his nature, worked by his side if only to make sure he wasn’t getting into trouble and was actually following through with what he was saying. The two do well to mark a significant change in the Cybertronian government system, and although neither knows this, Megatron is extremely proud of the two of them.

Steeljaw and Thunderhoof finally got a proper sit down talk about their relationship, thanks to Bee’s side assistance with helping Steeljaw understand Thunderhoof’s side of things. They decided to separate for a while, just to give each other a healthy amount of distance and time to figure out where to go from there. Six months or so later, they started meeting up again as friends and within a year start dating again, far happier than they were before.

Quillfire and Springload started doing the odd travel expedition together once Back and Forth became teenagers and could be left alone with the house for a few days without too much chaos. During one of which, they found an undiscovered ancient civilization, which to Springload’s mind was his long lost Doradus, much to both of their pure joy and happiness. The archaeological find gave the family enough financial stability that Quillfire didn’t have to always steal for Springload’s medication, and Springload was given enough credibility that he was hired to work with other history seekers professionally. Springload thanked Quillfire for all his support when they brought their kids back to see “Doradus”, and proposed to him (Much to Back’s excitement and Forth’s bemoaning about going to a wedding).

Underbite and Scowl do pretty awesome together. After being together for five years, they end up adopting a baby from Shadow Raker and raise him together (they choose to never get married out of personal preference). They raise a little one named Stomper, affectionately called Stompy, who’s as destructive and excited as his dads are. They love their little one, with Scowl acting as a stay-at home dad for the first few years before switching with Underbite. Scowl genuinely loves giving his son a chance to be whoever he wants to be in life, a choice he didn’t get to have growing up. Thunderhoof and Clampdown also have a tenancy to visit specifically to see the kid, both having a weakness for little Stomper, melting their hearts every time. It’s legitimately the only time where no death threats are made by Thunderhoof.

Clampdown is still as sneaky and information filled as ever. Never really locked down to one place, he’s just doing his own thing, gaining few friends and more people wanting his head. He’s honestly fine with it though. He’s looking out for himself in the best way he can, and he knows when life gets too hard he can always crash at one of his few friends’ places for some kindness and positivity.

Crazybolt and Slicedice, after being together for twenty five years, immediately got married when the law was passed. Slicedice bawled he was so happy, which made Crazybolt tear up, which made their employees wanna gag over how sickeningly love dovey it all was. They invited practically every con they knew, it was a fun time all around.

Vertebreak and Nightstrike pretty much never changed their ways. Kept being the murdering duo they were, only now they changed workshops every now and again. In addition, Wingcode started joining them upon finding out about her brother’s way of avoiding capture (“My boyfriend destroys the bodies for me”), much to both of their displeasure because, oh man, is she prideful. Not to mention acutely aware of everything they do, so they got interrupted a lot any time they wanted to be romantic.

Glowstrike, Scorponok and Saberhorn’s business got officially recognized and they started allowing Autobots and non-Cybertronian raised humans into the neighborhoods they owned. Media broadcasted this as a kind gesture ushering in a new era of peace and unity between factions, but really they stopped caring, money is money. Their relationship was good and functional until Glowstrike ended up collapsing one day, much to her partners’ immense fear and concern. After taking her to a hospital (a good proper one, thank you new laws) they found out she was pregnant with twins and that it will take a lot of her if she keeps them. This lead to a conversation the three weren’t expecting to have, with Scorponok worried for Glowstrike’s well being, Saberhorn worried about parenthood and Glowstrike worried about how this’ll change things for them. All of course, boiling down to the question of “do they keep the kids or not”. It took them a week after finding out about it to decide to keep the kids, under Glowstrike’s request to have a quick group marriage before they’re born and before she starts showing (because she refused to get in a wedding dress for that and she’d be damned if she couldn’t have a nice dress for her day). They had two healthy little girls named Lightbreak (taking after Saberhorn) and Firestrike (taking after Scorponok), and Glowstrike (although grateful her daughters were born) had her husbands’ take care of the babies the most in the first week, wanting to isolate herself for a while after the whole ordeal before going into her full motherly duties.

Nightra and Scatterspike are happily in love. Neither rushing things too much, but just enjoying each other’s company to the fullest. It was very hard for her to say goodbye, but eventually Scatterspike did move out of the Scavenger residence in an effort to live with her girlfriend and pursue work in construction. She still tags along for the big scavenging trips in the winter though. Nightra keeps her work as being a thief, although she admittedly enjoys the pay she gets from the cops for tipping them off to some really nasty criminals she works with.

Paralon eventually gets gently rejected by Dragstrip after trying a proper confession (Dragstrip mostly was just wincing cause he’s pretty bad at reading these things in general), but wasn’t too worse for wear. He’s still got his ambitions to make a name for himself, so he started experimenting with his talents by trying a lot of different jobs. He hasn’t found anything in particular to pursue yet, but he’s hopeful.

Thermidor and Clawtrap are still as bickery as ever, and after Scatterspike and Paralon moved out, it got worse for a while. Being alone with each other for so long made them remember how much the other irked them, at least with the whole group they could avoid each other. It took a while, but eventually some of the other cons got fed up and forced them into a couples therapy-like session with Kickback (who considers himself pretty neutral with all relationship-like shenanigans he seems to get wrapped into). After answering in stubborn and snarky attitudes for majority of the questions, Kickback managed to sneak some truth serum (courtesy of Scatterspike and her experimental syringes) into their drinks, and they started spilling what they actually loved about each other. It was messy and embarrassing as heck, but it worked out in the end, and they could actually admit out loud that were dating.

The Corvicons are doing pretty alright for themselves. Filch has been doing really well gathering her shiny things to sell, but she’s also made formidable improvement with her customer service, becoming a favorite of frequent customers. Boostwing one day comes home with the proud statement of having successfully asked out his shiny friend from the scrapyard he visits (it was Kickback), and that motivated Jacknab to properly pursue Razorhorn (“He’s shiny to me! He’s really stupid shiny!”). Pilfer is perfectly content staying single for a while longer, amused by his brothers’ antics in courting.

Through a lot of emotional comfort and confiding between themselves, Shadelock and Roughedge started dating, Roughedge gladly being Shadelock’s shoulder to lean on on the hard days and Shadelock giving Roughedge all the love he deserves. Wildbreak cried when Roughedge told him, while Dragstrip just sighed heavily over his stupid partner being stupid.

After being worn down, Motormaster eventually accepted trying to fix things with Shadow Raker. At least that’s what it seemed, but Motormaster actually had a plan of faking it until he could reach a point where he could destroy Shadow Raker’s heart like he did to him all those years ago. Slashmark and Heatseeker avidly mention how stupid that plan was, holy shit, what a STUPID PLAN, but Motormaster is honestly king of stupid ideas so he goes to that dinner date an hour later than he should’ve been, watching Shadow Raker wait in the cold the whole time. Thing is, as the date goes on (and on, because Shadow Raker refuses to let the night end yet) both of them start picking up on facts from the other regarding that “betrayal” that separated them. After going to the warehouse in question, both tried to recount the whole event in detail and after a while, they figure out what actually happened was one of their mutual enemies set it up so while Motormaster got arrested, Shadow Raker would come out of hiding to save him and would lead to setting them both up for an assassination attempt, but there was miscommunication and Shadow Raker didn’t find out about the arrest until much, MUCH later, when the damage had been done. Motormaster lost it when he figured it out, and after smashing some things in the warehouse to vent his rage, started hardcore crying cause all these years he’s been hurting over hating someone he loved for something that wasn’t even either of their faults. Shadow Raker laughed through his own tears, cause he almost forgot how emotional his partner could get. They embraced and Motormaster really couldn’t understand how Shadow Raker could wait for so long for him, and he replied saying Motormaster was worth it, he was always worth it. They got back together, and in a little less than a year got engaged like they wanted to be since the war days ended.

As a result of the reunion, Motormaster told his team he was aware of their relationships (“Very, VERY aware”) and that they have his permission to be open about it and that he’ll stop wearing his own copies of their rings out of possession (Shadow Raker side commented it was to wear his own ring to which he was promptly cut off by an embarrassed Motormaster). The other Stunticons were ecstatic about not having to hide or lie or be apart anymore and they all went out to celebrate and as a result came out to their fellow cons. There was a lot of cheers/groans from the cons that had bets going on about them.

Heatseeker and Slashmark didn’t change too much in terms of their relationship, although parties and gatherings were a lot healthier for Slashmark, not having to bite his tongue or drown his sorrows in alcohol. And Heatseeker was more than happy to have his favorite person next to him. The group still continued to be pretend teachers to new generations of cons, however Heatseeker and Slashmark actually found that they really enjoyed being teachers and started going an extra mile with their jobs with some extracurriculars for the students that wanted them. In addition, with the new laws in place Heatseeker found himself motivated to making sure his students wouldn’t suffer in their youth like he once had, and any time he noticed one of them not having a consistent lunch or new bruises, he’d pull them aside and ask them what was up, and if it was bad, let them know about soup kitchens and shelters for the nights it gets too hard. In addition, if he knows their parent personally he’ll make sure to make their life hell cause “c’mon, is this how you want to go down in their life? As the asshole they want dead?”. Slashmark and Heatseeker also decide to show sympathy to their teammates and gave them their extra mattress in return for a week off of their after hour crime jobs. They used that week to have a trip to Cybertron, just the two of them and their homeland’s sights. They got married a few months after Dragstrip and Wildbreak did.

Wildbreak and Dragstrip actually managed to end up having some good luck for once. Their jobs ended up getting them more money; their quick work and (in Wildbreak’s case) good attitude got the attention of some of their employers and they got raises. They managed to get enough to move out of their shitty apartment building and into a better one without roaches or awful landlords, with a similarly small apartment, but now with a decent bed. They still aren’t overly fond with their teaching jobs, but they aren’t quitting those. They do, however, get into some new weekend jobs through their hobbies. Dragstrip got to test out new race cars thanks to Kickback, Crazybolt and Slicedice’s jobs, while Wildbreak would volunteer at Shadow Raker’s foster care to take care of the younger kids. It was weird at first, having separate jobs, but both enjoyed it enough to make it work out, still happy to come home to each other. After many years of consideration and consulting others on it, Dragstrip did eventually go to Vertebreak for top surgery, Wildbreak by his side as long as he could. His dysphoria was still present, but Dragstrip did find it worked out well for him, occasionally patting his chest every now and then in pride (Motormaster continued to provide his own advice out of mutual experience). He also stopped smoking since he had to two weeks prior to the surgery anyway (and Wildbreak never was fond of it, he noted). Wildbreak was actually the one to properly propose; nothing fancy or public, just the two of them having a simple candlelit dinner in their little apartment, with Wildbreak proceeding to list off all the things they’ve done in the years they’ve been together and how he hopes they’ll still have plenty of new adventures to come together. It was beautifully cheesy, cause Dragstrip actually wanted to propose to him the same gosh darn night and they both just kind of collapsed on each other laughing and crying over how stupid they were but if that wasn’t them, who knows what is. Their wedding was sweet and simple, and after of few months of being newlyweds, they started talking about potentially adopting a kid.

Thanks for reading everything up to now! I hope you’ve enjoyed :D

#mun speaks #IT'S THE BIG POST

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shima-draws · 7 years ago

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Would you write albatross wedding headcanons? Or any albatross headcanons? I'm desperate ;_; *why the heck is senyuu fandom so small*

HELL YES OF COURSE I CAN

And my dude…I totally get you it’s such a rare treat to find somebody who likes Senyuu let alone anyone who actually knows about it

Anyway. WEDDING TIME, MY FAVORITEIdk if these could be considered actual headcanons but whatever tAKE THEM

*Alba wore black and Shion wore white. I dunno the general rule about colors but that’s how it went down*Crea was the best man and Rchi was the maid of honor, of course!!*The wedding was held in the castle, obviously, the King had to have ownership over that as the King who hosted the wedding of two of the greatest heroes in history pfft*Alba was escorted down the aisle by his father. Since Rchimedes isn’t around anymore, Shion was escorted by Cecily (and she almost didn’t let him go lol her grip is STRONG). Lake and Lym were the flower kids.*Alba and Shion’s wedding vows literally brought everybody to tears. Crea was openly sobbing and Shion had to smack him to get him to stop hahaAnyway they spoke about a lot of things regarding their past, it was suuuper mushy*Rchi gave the opening speech at the reception. She talked about how much she treasured Alba and Shion as friends and made both of them tear up a little*Crea’s speech, then, was really funny. After that everyone else in their close group of friends gave their own little speeches :’)*Shion cried during his first dance with Alba. He just couldn’t believe that he was finally allowed to be happy after all of the pain and suffering he went through ;m;*During the parents dance Shion danced with Midnight, who said he was proud and honored to have him as a son. Shion almost cried a second time hehe*Shion didn’t really stray too far from Alba the whole night and rarely let go of his hand, almost like he couldn’t believe that this was real and he was finally permanently tied to the love of his life*Surprisingly enough most of the other demons showed up out of courtesy or respect, and to give the couple their best wishes!*They did the bouquet toss and Foyfoy caught it ;D Hime was really embarrassedGuilty Justice was dying to catch it for her and Dezember but she missed it whoops*Alba tied Shion’s red scarf around his thigh and jokingly suggested they do a garter toss too lol*Ares and Janua got REALLY drunk. Like, totally smashed. It was super hilarious. Meanwhile Teufel passed out from having too much to drink and Samejima had to carry him back to his room, poor sleepy demon boy (Teufel can’t hold his liquor like, at all)*Crea also got really tipsy and was obnoxiously singing love songs with Elf. Alf took a video for blackmail material.Elf also went on a long rambling speech about how Shion and Alba would have never met if not for his and Alf’s influence on their timeline. “Ya can thank me by givin me all yer wedding gifts. Hand ‘em over.” (But really though, they do owe everything to the two of them for allowing them to meet in the new timeline.)*All the couples teamed up for a slow dance, and Shion was shocked to see Lake and Salt dancing together :’)*At the very end, Rchi opened up a gate for them to travel to the Demon World for their honeymoon! They went to a really popular vacation spot there (that was prepared for them by Rchi’s dad).

Aaaand yeah that’s all I got, really :0 But thanks for sending in the ask, aaaa I love talking about wedding parties they’re always so much fun!! Weddings in general are nice, I think~ Alba and Shion deserve the best one for everything they’ve been through

#Senyuu #Senyu #Albatross #Alba Fruhling #Shion #Ros #THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN TO WRITE THANK YOU #I just love them all having a great big celebration for Alba and Shion #And them all gettin totally drunk :')#Shima answers questions #Headcanons

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dontmindmedear · 7 years ago

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Soulmate AU feat. Platonic Love

Note:

Oikawa is either Trans or it’s mpreg or it’s simple fem!Oikawa, I haven’t decided yet (that’s why the messy pronoun usage)

A couple of weeks after a party that ended with an one night stand with a person he can’t remember, Tooru finds out that she’s pregnant. Hesitating for a while she accepts her best friend’s, Iwaizumi’s proposal, and marries him, if just to create a stable environment for her child and prevent bad news by becoming a single mother. (Many paparazzi due to pro vb team, might lose model or advertisement jobs).

The child, a daughter, is around 5 or 6 when she has to get vaccinated and so Tooru meets her soulmate, UshiWaka, at the clinic. Refusing to hurt Iwa though, Tooru tells him that she’s married and with child and to please respect that. He does and they don’t keep contact outside of the child’s doctors visits. Strangely enough things happen. The child falls down, gets sick etc so Tooru has to go more often with her to the clinic than anyone would like. Then one of Tooru’s calls for an appointment reaches the clinic while Waka is holding a conversation with one of the nurses and he sees Oikawa’s number on the device as the assistant takes the call. Waka memorizes it and gives Oikawa his own private number in exchange as a way of making them equal again, since Waka has now Oikawa’s. Oikawa blushes but takes it, even if she claims she doesn’t need it. She doesnt use it.

Then the big diagnosis.

Tooru’s child has cancer.

More therapy happens, more hospital visits, until it gets very bad and the child has to stay at the hospital as they hope for a donor organ. Tooru isn’t accepted as donor and neither are Iwa or Ushi. It’s when Iwa comes over to visit his child (he’s a physician and cant go on vacation as easily as Tooru) that he sees Ushi trying to comfort Tooru while resting his hand on Tooru’s shoulder. He suspects sth and after talking with Tooru about it at home, to get a change of clothes and a proper shower, it’s tense between them. Iwa always knew that this, one of them meeting their soulmate, was a possibility, had always suspected it to happen one day, but seeing it actually happen was difficult to accept and it hurt that Tooru didn’t tell him sooner.

The child gets sicker and sicker and eventually Tooru visits Ushi during his post official working hours in his office where he’s doing research on Tooru’s child’s case. Tooru’s begging, “Wa-Wakatoshi, please, please, help her. She’s my daughter, my life, if she doesn’t- i-i can’t-” finally his held back tears surface and Waka holds Tooru in his arms as he cries, begging Waka to help his daughter. Waka tells him he will do whatever he can. He promises. Tooru can see the honesty in his eyes and on the spur of the moment he leans up to kiss Waka. Waka is surprised but after some hesitation he returns it.

Determined to keep his promise, Waka goes illegal: He uses Tooru’s child’s (Hikari?) data to find her real father. He didn’t expect to find anything on him in their clinic’s data tables, but he does. He visits the man at home, but Akaashi wants a test. So Waka requests him to come to the hospital for it. The test is positive and Akaashi, still stunned about suddenly being a father, meets his sick daughter for the first time. And his soulmate. Nobody knows what’s going on when Iwa walks over and begs Keiji to help his daughter, even more so when Keiji agrees without protest.

As they wait for the surgery to end, Tooru gets an idea of what’s going on but keeps it to himself.

After the surgery, when Waka leaves the room, Tooru speedwalks towards him and asks how it went. When Tooru is told it went well and his daughter should be better soon, even if she has to stay in the hospital a bit longer so that they can keep an eye on her, Tooru is overwhelmed by emotions and pulls Waka into a kiss before thanking him, uncaring whether people are watching them, before hurrying towards his daughter’s wake up room, leaving a slightly disheveled and distraught Ushijima behind.

As they wait for their daughter to wake up, Iwa breaks the silence first. He offers a solution to their dilemma:

Their daughter is too young to understand. So they won’t change their lives. No divorce, no moving out, no affairs. They will stay married, they will stay living together as is, a married couple raising their daughter. They will act like always.

With one difference.

Both of them are allowed to date/meet their soulmates on the sideline. But they have to be open about it with each other. Even if their soulmate relationship stays platonic, it’s got no influence on their family life with their daughter. Maybe they will have “guests” more often and their daughter will gain two new uncles until she’s old enough to understand, but otherwise no difference.

Tooru cries. “I love you Iwa-chan. You’re my family, you’re home. I never wanted to hurt you. I’m sorry that I hurt you. I’m so so sorry! And thank you. Thank you for doing all this for me.” “It’s not just for you dumbass. It’s also, mainly, for her. She’s my daughter afterall, right?” Tooru cries, Iwa cries, and they hug.

Once their daughter is awake and able to let her father go, Iwa visits his new soulmate. He tells him everything what he wants to know. About his daughter, about himself, about their life, everything. Iwa expresses his gratitude. Akaashi asks for his number.

Them finding their soulmates changes their relationship but not their feelings for each other. They’re still in love, at least Iwa is, so they still fall into old behaviour at times. UshiOi’s relationship progresses faster than IwaAka’s, mainly bc Akaashi also spends part of their time together with getting to know his daughter. But the more time passes the more it’s IwaAka and Ushioi than IwaOi, tho sometimes they’re still kissing. In the mornings or before going to work or when they return home, telling each other I love you etc tho it’s more out of habit, it’s platonic and for comfort rather than romantic interest.

Years later, The girl is in MS and learnt about soulmates. She asks their parents about it and their parents explain it to her, opening her eyes for a completely new world. She’s surprised at first, stunned, her life turning around. She always thought she lived with her parents and her two saviours from back then. Now she finds out that she actually has two really great dads, an amazing mom, and a step dad who didn’t just gifted her a new life but also protected her mother from breaking apart when it seemed her world was shattering.

Her parents divorce about a year later under their daughters request and another year later, she helps her mother plan her second wedding.

She really loves her family, as weird as they are!

(After finding out that Keiji is her biological father, calling him Kei-chan feels weird. She tries papa, but instantly blushes deep crimson red and escapes hurriedly. It takes her a while to get used to it)

Not long after the wedding(~?), actually it’s the first news they receive after UshiOi return from their honeymoon, the girl finds out she’s becoming a big sister. Tooru’s worried he’s too old for this, but everyone helps him out to make it easier for him, telling him no you arent too old yet, not at all, And so nine months later Tooru’s little girl gets a little brother. :)

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batterymonster2021 · 5 years ago

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Monogamish: The new rules of marriage | Jessica O'Reilly | TEDxVancouver

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/monogamish-the-new-rules-of-marriage-jessica-oreilly-tedxvancouver/

Monogamish: The new rules of marriage | Jessica O'Reilly | TEDxVancouver

Translator: Johannes Duschner Reviewer: Ivana Krivokua Wow, howdy, every person. I’m going to put down my cell, and fully resist the urge to snap a selfie to prove I was once sincerely right here. As Riaz said, my identify is Jessica O’Reilly, and i’m a sexologist. A sexologist is, actually, a real factor. Do you suppose me? Three of you, ok. So you’re all on the side of my father and mother, I get it, that’s cool, no difficulty. I acquired the tiger mother.Well, a sexologist; what does that imply? That means, I spend a whole lot of time speakme about sex. And almost no time definitely having it. (Laughter) but i am here today to talk to you a couple of severe discipline. We are in a time of obstacle. We have now a worldwide epidemic on our fingers and it’s airborne. It affects the younger and the historic and knows no geographical bounds. Now, this drawback will not be in contrast to different fashionable crises, the economic climate, climate alternate for illustration. But this drawback effects extra of us, in a more personal and perceptible trend. It tears families apart. It takes probably the most dangerous toll on essentially the most prone amongst us and it’s contagious.It is spreading. Yet somehow, we’re captivated by means of it. I am speaking in regards to the drawback of the modern monogamous marriage. Now, if I were to make you a 50/50 offer in any realm of your life, would you are taking it? If I mentioned, invest in my fund, there’s a 50 per cent danger you’ll be able to see a return. Or signal this trade deal, you’ve got acquired a 50 percentage threat of failure, however hello, why no longer? Or hop on this flight, you will have bought a 50/50 shot at making it to your vacation spot safely. Even though I provided you two free checked baggage, (Laughter) you’d quite often say no. However the cutting-edge monogamous marriage offers even shrink statistical odds when you factor in divorce rates and the premiums of infidelity. Now, in North america, divorce rates are over 40 percentage, higher, when you rely your 2d and 1/3 marriages. In my household oftentimes we go on even above three. Four, five, and 6. You understand already about my husband’s fights given that of Riaz. So I would as good expose some data. Infidelity premiums in North america are between 25 and 45 percentage, relying on who’s asking and who drank their truth serum this morning.And study suggests that pleasure premiums in marriage plummet after the honeymoon segment, by no means to get better. Scary. Now, many young individuals are simply opting to not get married. Marriage charges are on the decline. Possibly because they’ve heard that research suggests that married people are, in fact, no happier than their single counterparts. And have you heard of mate poaching? It appears, 60 percentage of guys – disgrace, disgrace – and fifty four percent of females – we’re not better, now not significantly better – have tried to woo any person faraway from their present partner. What is going on? So once we mix these statistics, we appear on the numbers. We see that in marriage 50/50 is in fact a excellent case scenario.Marriage is in a time of trouble. Now, i’m no longer suggesting that we get rid of marriage; i’m partial to marriage. I even picked one up for myself. (Laughter) i’ve been happily married to my husband for eight years, living with him for 13. What i’m announcing is that marriage is a failure in human design. It doesn’t matter that study says that marriage is just right for my wellness and even higher for men’s wellbeing, by hook or by crook they consistently win. And it doesn’t matter that we all go into marriage with probably the most noble of intentions, correct? To reside happily ever after, to love our accomplice unconditionally, to help them grow into the satisfactory variant of themselves. On the grounds that it doesn’t continually grow to be this manner. Considering the fact that of this failure in human design, marriage may also be restrictive in private progress, and even repressive in its demands of absolute monogamy. In any other realm, if we noticed failure rates like we see in marriage, we’d do some thing about it.When the markets tumble, we do something about it; we modify curiosity rates, we enact austerity measures, we enhance stimulus programs. Correct? (Laughter) If a automobile malfunctions by some means, we hindrance a don’t forget, in order that we can repair it. And if a superbug is unresponsive to a present vaccination, we go back to the lab to boost a new method. When some thing does not work, when anything doesn’t work, we innovate. So why do we be given the monogamous marriage in its current type, despite its design flaws? Would our relationships now not advantage from a stimulus package? A transitority keep in mind. Just overnight. (Laughter) isn’t it time we go back to the lab to dissect the problems, task the failing norm, and innovate? Now, some couples have already performed this. They reject monogamy altogether.Swingers for illustration, i do know numerous them. Shock, shock, the sexologist says. They have got sex with different men and women and it works for them. Polyamorous have emotional, intimate, loving, and sexual relationships with more than one companions and it really works for them. And open relationships are available a large range of forms which might be custom designed via each couple or threesome or foursome, or moresome, Now, i know many couples for whom open relationships have worked, Rosa and Dan for illustration. After 22 years of marriage, they mentioned, "anything’s gotta provide." Their phrases, no longer mine. In order that they decided to open their relationship up and now they have fanatics throughout North america, and they couldn’t be happier. However like monogamy, open relationships simplest work for an awfully small number of people.An estimated 4 to five, no longer forty five, four to 5 percent have tried it with a good degree of success. The trouble with open relationships is that the majority of us just do not want one. We’re k with other folks being open, but we don’t wish to share our companions. Fortunately ever after with one genuine soul mate has been too firmly ingrained in our subconciousness, due to the fact that birth. So what we have now decided to this point is that over right here we’ve the monogamous. Monogamy works for a small number of men and women.Over here we have now the non-monogamous, and that works for a good smaller percent of humans. And the relaxation of us, we fall somewhere in between. So what about the relaxation of us? Dishonest is not an choice. I am now not even going to go there. So how do we find our happily ever after? Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed company, I post to you that the solution is to don’t forget the gray field of the monogamish. (Laughter) This time period has been around for a while. I recall listening to it as a kid once I don’t have been taking note of my mom and dad friends again within the 80s, however it became popularized by way of sex columnists, Dan Savage, more recently. And Dan used this term to explain his relationship wherein he’s emotionally, and almost, and lovingly monogamous with his associate, but sexually they may be allowed to do different things. As a way to me, that is extra of an open relationship. So what I suggest is that we first-class-tune the term – the philosophy of monogamish – to make it extra obtainable to the relaxation of us, who fall into this gray area. Let’s use monogamish to take the monotony out of monogamy in a technique that preserves the sanctity, the protection, and the comfort of our relationships.So, monogamish, what would this seem like? Monogamish couples would appear to extramarital sources for sexual stimulation. But only in thought, now not in motion. So if i am monogamish, there could were a volunteer backstage that was kinda lovable. So I took a second seem. I am hoping I did not make him uncomfortable, certainly not making him uncomfortable. I could have had a destroy and inspiration about him slightly. I could consider about him later tonight. (Laughter) but i am by no means going to behave upon that concept. And this suggestion and ideas find it irresistible which can be forbidden in so many monogamous relationships, admitting to this idea serves to further stabilize my relationship due to the fact when we put these forbidden thoughts out in the open, we serve to scale down their vigor, and we scale down the possibility that we will really act upon them. So, we now have notion, but no longer action, after which we have now talk, but not contact. So monogamish couples could appear to extramarital sources for sexual arousal and pleasure in a talk format with no contact. Flirting with different persons involves mind as a particularly just right instance of this. So, endure with me a second.Picture this: you are at a bar, you’re with you companion. Say you are together with your husband. And there is a waitress and he or she’s kinda cute. No longer too lovable. (Laughter) we all have our limits. So you tease him a little: "She’s rather lovable, isn’t she? I believe she was once checking you out. You seem sizzling tonight, Babe." She fully wasn’t checking him out, however they all like a excellent stroking of the ego.Along with your coaxing, maybe, he even flirts with her somewhat. Probably you get in on that flirting, too. Certainly displaying her the utmost respect and respect to your relationship. At the finish of the night time, you go dwelling together, you and your husband, not the waitress. (Laughter) Let’s be clear right here. You go house and you proceed the delusion. You weave it in the bedroom. You even talk about having a threesome. "Oh Babe, you seem so scorching tonight. I thoroughly wish to carry her home with us. Yeah, i’d like to, definitely, don’t you wish to have four palms on you? Can not you assume, i would like to share you." it can be simply talk. You pull out all the stops. You force him right into a frenzy and then you definitely each get off, you have a fine time. When you’re carried out, you take him by means of the hand and seem him within the eye and you say, "do not even suppose about it." (Laughter) And he is aware of and says, "Of course not, Babe, that was once mighty, thanks. You’re all i would like. Can i get you some thing, a beer or a cheeseburger?" (Laughter) isn’t that the way it should perpetually finish? Very well. You ruin the norms of inflexible monogamy without ever touching a further man or woman.It’s just speak. The entire flirting, all the myth, the 4 fingers, the waitress. You are by no means going to that bar again, by the way. So one shot deal. It’s just talk, nothing more. Now, we’ve proposal, but now not action. We have speak, however now not contact. And then we’ve got couples, who make this foray into monogamish territory, they usually find it irresistible. They appreciate in it, and so they say, " what? Things have on no account been better. Let’s take it to an additional level." those couples might decide, "Let’s go to a strip membership. Let’s get a few lap dances." a few years later, perhaps they work their manner into the back room, the champagne room. I do not even know what goes on in there. (Laughter) possibly they love the soiled speak aspect they usually wish to carry a third character in, however they don’t want the threat of an actual live man or woman in the flesh. So they call a telephone intercourse line collectively. I know, it is not 1982, but they still exist. And so they make a lot of money, it is a lucrative enterprise. Might be they understand any one who is a swinger, they usually’ve been invited to swinger events.Now, they do not wish to swing, but they just like the thought of the environment, of being round this style of erotic aspect; the brink, the attractions, the sounds, the smells. No longer the smells, put out of your mind that. Simply the sights, and the sounds, and the vigor. What we need to don’t forget is that monogamish is a mindset, no longer a fashion. You’re making it what you choose. If the strip membership does not enchantment to you, do not go. If the concept of flirting with a real are living character appears simply too risky, don’t do it. Perhaps you decide instead to sign into a chat room collectively or use a cam carrier for a little little bit of nighttime enjoyable on a Saturday night.There is no universal formula for happily ever after. And there is no components for monogamish. I’m with no trouble suggesting that we could improvement from in view that choices beyond the rigid norm of monogamy. So now, you’re pondering, "k, monogamish sounds good, i love strippers." (Laughter) correct? And now guys do not even have six-packs, they have eight-packs. It does not sound bad. You’re considering, "This sounds k, but how do I get over my insecurities? How do I maintain the jealousy? A part of me would wish to tear that kind-of-lovable waitress’s hair out.Or I do not want this ripped guys grinding up on my wife. I can’t control that. I won weight for the period of her pregnancy, had a number of cravings. Can’t anticipate a man to have a six-percent after pregnancy, right? So these are all valid considerations. I can not support you with the six-percent, but every couple deals with these jealousies, these insecurities, these challenges, of their very possess method. Some take child steps. They don’t dive into monogamish, they do it a little bit bit at a time. They would begin by means of with no trouble admitting to which celebrities they to find attractive. It might take them years to work their way as much as certainly divulging their deepest, darkest fantasies. But these years, that procedure, is what makes it sizzling. Somewhat little bit of fear and nervousness, balanced with love, comfort, and security is the best recipe, not only for love, but for lust. Other couples, moreover to taking little one steps, they decide to compartmentalize their monogamish aspect of their relationship. They are saying, "I quite like our relationship as it’s. I like a bit of bit of monogamish, however not too much." So maybe, they make a rule that they simply speak about fantasies that comprise different people on particular occasions.Or Tuesdays, or the month of March, anything works for them. Maybe they love the idea of flirting with other men and women due to the fact flirting is a lot fun, it brings out the sexual animal in you, it boosts your self-esteem and it can absolutely be kind of sizzling to watch your partner flirt with any one else, below the right consensual situations. However maybe they simply do this once a yr, when they’re on vacation.Or possibly that bar with the waitress is too just about dwelling, so they just do it when they may be collectively at least 200 miles from their place of origin; anything works for them. Some couples, they go after monogamish they usually push their boundaries too far they usually grow to be regretting it, but remorse isn’t tantamount to disaster. Errors are the important studying and growth opportunities in a relationship. When we believe of monogamish or we believe of relationships, you could believe of it as a rubber band. That you would be able to stretch it in this course, but it still goes back to its stable form.Which you can stretch it over right here, and it does not imply that you ever have got to do it again for those who don’t adore it. And if you happen to stretch it this way, it does not imply that the next time – the next day to come, subsequent month, subsequent year – that you just have got to pull it further. Correctly, you can also not need to due to the fact it can snap. What we have to recognize is that growth and relationships are elastic. They don’t seem to be inflexible. Now, as we appear at monogamish, we cannot just seem at anecdote and conjecture, we also ought to appear at the science of why monogamish relationships probably the panacea we search in accordance with this epidemic of the failing monogamous marriage.There are, of path, no universal algorithm for a victorious relationship. Nevertheless, there are some add-ons that tend to be reward in happy, lasting marriages. The first is dependancy-shaped, emotional expression. Scientists wish to sound fancy. It way speakme. Speakme about your feelings. The nice, the bad and the unpleasant. Admit when you are jealous, admit when you’re feeling slightly bit off. That is principal. The second entails a steadiness between connectivity and freedom. It’s all headquartered in self-expansion idea. The self-expansion thought explains that we’re most pleased in our relationships when our companions present us opportunities for development. Humans; we’re animals, and we’re programmed to search trade, to seek novelty. Now we have a starvation for it. And when our partners feed this hunger, we’re more pleased with them and extra drawn to them.Now, the third factor of a joyful relationship is an active sex existence. An lively sex lifestyles does not imply that you simply have got to be swinging from chandeliers or doing it every day, or per week, or each month. It simply implies that you put some effort into your intercourse existence. Even the Pope and the Catholic cardinals and the bishops comprehend this. Do you know why? Final week on the Vatican, these celibate men had a symposium on marriage. They got together to talk about what makes a marriage work, however they did invite in gurus. And one informed couple from Australia, who has been married for 55 years, instructed this crew of fully celibate guys that their sex existence has been, and remains to be, of paramount significance.Very fascinating to me. Now, in my job, I work with couples from all world wide, thousands per year. And what I’ve seen is that after couples recollect opening up their definition of monogamy, even within the smallest of methods, it forces their relationship to thrive on these core factors. Emotional expression, connectivity balanced with freedom, and an lively intercourse life emerge as the norm, as soon as you begin to peer monogamy alongside a continuum. I will provide you with an instance of those observations. I host a reality show, sorry to say this, and the reality show is for PlayboyTV, but i’m proud to assert that this reality exhibit is without doubt one of the few actual applications on television. So this show is about a big crew of swingers living in a house and every weekend I deliver in a new couple, a novice couple, who has never swung earlier than, so they can make a decision if probably they want to try it for themselves.This condo is called "The Swing house," however I call it my individual lab because it enables me to realize couples of their really average habitat; anticipate for the cameras and stuff like that. (Laughter) You fail to remember that they’re there after a couple of minutes. Some of these novice couples, who have not ever swung before, they make a decision to dive in headfirst. They understand that swinging was once supposed for them. Others, alternatively, understand very speedily that they don’t seem to be cut out for sharing their companion. And the interesting factor is, I realized a lot from this 2nd team in view that they don’t wish to be monogamous, they usually do not need to be swingers.However the mere possibility of opening up their relationship definitely brings them nearer collectively. They’re compelled to talk about their feelings. They’re pressured to steadiness the needs of the couple with the wishes of the character. And of course, it can be the PlayboyTV Swing apartment, so without doubt, they are pressured to suppose about their intercourse life. Now, I wish to be particularly clear, monogamish couples should not swingers. I only use this example due to the fact that many of them make a decision not to swing. Actually, they’re practising a variation of monogamy. We would call it monogamy 2.Zero, and their marriages are thriving. Now, will becoming monogamish retailer a failing marriage? Of course now not. It best addresses one factor of the connection, the intimate phase. But that is an primary aspect, along with youngsters and cash. Sex is likely one of the most contentious issues within the ultra-modern marriage. And although monogamish is not going to retailer a marriage, it can be the lifeline we need to tilt the scales in favor of the institution of marriage. We ought to do some thing about monogamy as our default environment when you consider that we’re in obstacle mode.This problem, the failing monogamous marriage, is pushing us onto the brink of a brand new frontier. The monogamish resolution could seem radical, but what is our other choice? Failure? Whether we want to confess it or not, each couple in this room and every couple available in the market is at hazard of failure. It is a statistical truth. So I depart you with one question: Would you don’t forget tilting your viewpoint and opening your minds to the probability of the monogamish, if it supposed you could look after your relationship from this concern, strenghten your bond, and expand your chances of dwelling happily ever after? Thanks.(Applause) .

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blackwing2230-blog · 7 years ago

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(Hey all! NickHopps_JudyWilde here with the next chapter of Honeymoon Vacation. I know it’s been a long time since I’ve updated but due to an unforeseen incident, I had to redo this chapter. And thanks to all who have waited patiently for it.

The art is credited to @cipple thanks again for an incredible commission! I am so thankful for it!

Now, before we begin, I must tell you all that this chapter means a lot to me. As you all know, Nick is going to become a father, and as luck would have it, so will I😁. So, without further delay, here is part 1 of the next chapter Visit to the MPD and the past)

Visit to the MPD, and to the Past

“We are gathered here today to celebrate the unity between these two officers: Officer Nicholas Wilde,” the pastor introduced by extending his arm towards the red fox. He then did the same motion to Judy, using his other arm. “ and Officer Judy Hopps.”

The crowd of bunnies, fellow officers and other friends of both Judy and Nick erupted in cheers, whistles and loud claps. Many of the rabbits, including Stu, stood up to cheer and hollered proudly. Most of the cheers came from the side of the church where many of the Hopps family were sitting.

“Okay, okay everyone, calm down,” the leopard huffed with force in his tone. “We are still in a church. We all need to be respectful here.”

To his order, the room slowly fell silent.

“Thank you. Now, as I was saying, we are here to unite the very first fox and bunny in holy matrimony.” His tone indicated that he was proud to say those words.

“Now I’ve had the the privilege of working along side these two. Hard workers, not doubt. But despite that they are the smallest mammals on the force, despite the fact that everyone said that they couldn’t do it, DESPITE all that, I must say, they are two of the most exceptional officers the ZPD, Chief Bogo and myself have ever had the chance to work along side with.”

This time, the pastor began the clapping, with a wide smile. Everyone else joined in, cheerfully talking and nodding amongst themselves in agreement with the leopard.

“Nah, we’re just doing our job,” he shrugged off the attention on him and Judy. But no one acknowledged his silent protest as they were drowned out by the roar of claps in the church.

He didn’t like having all the attention on him. For years, since he was a kid, he never cared for the cooing and awes from others. But when he looked over to his, the look on her face made all of his little worries disappear.

She had tears falling from her eyes. But not sad ones. They were tears of joy. Joy for her son for becoming something that she had always hoped for; becoming a husband.

He saw the proudness in her eyes as she clapped and smiled up at him. That was something that he hadn’t seen since he became a junior ranger scout all those years ago. A very fateful night, that would remain in his memory forever.

Judy hid behind her long ears, her cheeks burning from bashfulness. She knew that everyone praised her for being one of the best at her job. And she was used to it, but she felt like it happened too often, for both her and Nick.

She looked to her parents for any sign of guidance, but when she looked upon them, she saw her father and mother proudly smiling up to her. Stu was crying proud, fatherly tears while Bonnie tried caressing him. She looked up to Judy with dignity, proud of her daughter for another huge life accomplishment.

A proud mother and father, being there for her and her soon to be husband.

Radiant tears fell one by one down her cheeks whilst she focused on their smiles.

The wedding day dressed bunny and fox looked at each other with matched expressions; tears of joy and smiles.

The pastor lifted his arms and indicated for the crowd to once again quite down. Once the voices and claps of everyone died down to the quietness of before, he cleared his throat for all to hear.

“Now, for the vows…”

*********

Nick and Judy were in a cab on their way back to their hotel. After the announcement of her pregnancy in Ovideon’s, which was met with congrats from almost everyone in the restaurant, they wanted to get a goodnights sleep for tomorrow.

During the cab ride, Nick was practically glued to Judy’s side, or more or less, her growing belly. He kept rubbing his paws over her stomach.

“You sure are being protective tonight,” Judy smiled down at Nick.

“Well yeah, I’m a dad now” he looked up with his emerald eyes with a grin on his muzzle.

Judy chuckled to his reply, and kissed him between his ears. “And I’m gonna be a mom,” she grinned happily, letting that word roll off her tongue like she’s said it many times already. “I just hope I’m just as good of a mom as mine was. Or even half as good.”

Judy wasn’t doubting herself in any way, as she had a lot of practice with taking care of her younger siblings. But now that it was her own kit, that wasn’t only a bunny, but part fox, she wasn’t sure how this baby was going to act.

Nick, hearing what sounded like doubt in his bunnies voice, he sat up and grabbed her paws. “You’ll be a great mother sweetheart. I wouldn’t be surprised if you are just as good a mother as your mom,” he reassured her with a smile. “Plus, with you being a cop and all, you’ll be more protective over our baby. And with me by your side, you’re already great,” he boasted cheerfully.

She half smiled to Nick. He always knew exactly what to say to her whenever she felt down or when she felt down. It was like a sense he had, a second nature to cheer her up whenever he could, even when she was already happy.

“Thanks for that slick.”

“You’re welcome my dumb bunny.”

Nick leaned down once more to her belly and put his cheek on the small little lump, a deep loving purr vibrating from his throat into her belly.

To the sudden sensation of purrs and his soft cheeks rubbing against her, Judy let out a surprised gasp. She had never seen Nick act in that way before, not even when they made love. It reminded her a lot of what a female mother tiger or lion would do to her kits for comfort. The wide grin on his face was proof that he was more enthusiastic about becoming a father.

“Come here you.”

In a quick motion, she grabbed the collar of his dress shirt and pulled him up to her, locking her lips to his.

Nick was stunned from being pulled away from the baby bump so suddenly. He saw the want in her eyes and pushed his lips back into hers, tasting the sweet scent of his bunny drowning through his own musk.

Their loving kiss lasted for quite some time, all the way back to their hotel to be exact.

Their driver, a black and white female wolf, gave them a slight discount for openly talking about their baby. She told them that she had a sister who was an inter as well who lived in a different city than her. She praised the two of them for not caring what anyone thought, even though they did just that already.

As they entered the quiet hotel, Nick walked directly to the receptionists desk, where one of the late shifters was sitting.

“Excuse me?” He interrupted her slow tired typing on her computer. She looked up to him with dark heavy bags under her eyes, covered up by more than a couple layers of makeup. “Are you still doing room service?”

She glanced over to the digital clock on her laptop, slower than a sloth on his fastest day, and replied, “Yes we are.”

“Okay, great! I would like the best bottle of wine you guys have. If that’s possible.”

“No problem! What room number are you sir?”

“ One-eighty seven, Mr and Mrs. Wilde” he replied proudly. He looked behind him and shot Judy a signature ‘Nick Smile’. She had no idea what he was doing, so she just watched.

“Okay Mr. Wilde, you’re all set. We’ll have a maid bring the bottle of wine up to your room,” she smiled politely.

With a quick thanks, he rushed back to his wife and they made their way into the elevators.

“What’s the wine for? We just had some not even an hour ago,” she was curious about what her fox was up to.

“Yes I know. But we had a crowd of others along with us. I want to celebrate our baby alone. Just the two of us.”

“You mean the three of us,” she corrected him playfully.

“Oh, yeah. The three of us.” He knelt down in front of Judy to place his paws on her now noticeable growing baby bump.

Then it hit him; she didn’t tell him how many kits they were having.

“Speaking of the three of us, do you know how many kits we’re gonna have?” He asked with curiosity.

Judy shook her head. “It’s too early to tell. I could have one, or I could have a whole litter. The doctor told me that anything is possible with this baby, or baby’s. But since this will be the first bunny/fox hybrid in existence, he doesn’t even have a clue to what it’s going to look like.”

Her emotions were filled with anxiety, realizing herself that she was almost afraid of what the baby was going to look like. She wasn’t sure if it was going to look like a perfect mix between a fox and a rabbit, or some freak of nature. And with her feelings running rampant at an all time high, she couldn’t help but have these thoughts.

And again, Nick sensed her distress. He saw the look in her eyes.

“Judy, our baby will be perfect. I just know it,” he said reassuringly, placing a law on her soft white cheeks. “And I’m also sure that he, she, or they, will look just like us. And they will be amazing little bundles of joy.”

He pecked a kiss on the tip of her nose, which twitched to the sensation of his loving kiss.

As he had hoped, her smile returned.

“You always know exactly what to say, don’t you slick?” She was grateful in the upmost way for having Nick there for her. Especially now, when she really needed the comfort.

“Of course fluff. I know you from the outside in. I will do anything to make you happy,” he proclaimed, which he did with ease. While also teasing her in any way he could along with it.

Then, his memory banks began flooding his mind with Judy’s injury. from all those months ago. The smell of her blood seeping through the gun shot wound remained in his nose hairs, the panic he felt was etched into his mind. It was a night that still kept him up at some points, a night that he still blamed himself for everyday.

“I’m just glad your injury didn’t affect…” He quietly paused, reaching down to place protective paws over her belly.

Just like how Nick could read Judy like a book, she could do the same. She knew exactly what he was talking about, and what he was feeling.

“Nick,” she addressed sternly. Her fingers found their way under his chin, turning his grave expression from her stomach to her eyes. “Me and the baby will be fine. I can promise you that. It’s in the past now. You don’t need to keep punishing yourself for a choice I made. A choice to protect you.”

She kissed his forehead for reassurance, and hugged him as tight as she could muster. She had to show her dumb fox of a husband that he didn’t need to dread on the past. She held his face with her paws on his cheeks, her forehead on his.

“I’m sorry for bringing it up Carrots” he apologized softly. “I just can’t get it out my head half the time.”

“You dumb fox,” Judy teased. “You’re fine my love.”

Nick emphasized the embrace of Judy’s hug, feeling her love and comfort flowing into him. Her warm hug and her steady heartbeat calmed his tense mind, putting him at ease.

Soon enough, the elevator stopped at their floor. The two slowly raced back to their room, Nick holding the door open for his pregnant wife. Without a thought, they began shredding off their dress attire until a knock at the door caught their attention.

Judy was halfway out of her dress and moved deep into the shadows of the room before Nick opened the door.

The maid, a black spotted sow, had brought up the wine bottle. For it being as late as it was, she was kind about having to bring the sweet tasting wine to them. Nick left a kind tip before the maid returned back to her duties.

The bottle was no where near as fancy, or as expensive, as the one from Ovideon’s, but he didn’t care. It was going to do the job of celebration for just them.

“Go on ahead, Carrots. I’ll meet you in the bedroom,” he told her with the bottle of wine in his paws. She obliged and headed into their room, her dress dragging across the floor as more than half of her body was exposed.

Nick was fixed on finding any types of glasses that could be used for their wine. Luckily, he found a set of scotch glasses that was normally to be used for hard liquor. But it was going to have to work.

By the time Nick walked into the bedroom, Judy was already out of her dress and in a pair of short black athletic shorts and a neon pink tank top.

He held the two glasses in one paw and poured the sweet red wine with the other, handing a half filled glass to Judy.

“Thanks Nick,” she thanked, taking a sip of the drink with a gleeful smile.

“You’re welcome sweetheart.” He took his own swig of the wine, tasting the sweetness of the berries. And like he figured, the wine was good, but not to the standards of Ovideon’s.

He drank what was left and then plopped himself onto the bed. The exhausted fox laid down onto the bed, placing his head into the folded legs of his bunny. His head fit perfectly in place.

“You know,” Nick began trying grab Judy’s attention. “It still feels unreal knowing that I’m going to be a father. My brain is still trying to process it.” But this new feeling was unlike anything he had ever felt before. And he liked it, a lot.

“Same here. And I’ve known about it longer than you have.” The pregnant bunny hid a slight chuckled, that was replaced with the anxiety from earlier. “Although, I was afraid of telling you at first.”

Nick looked up to her, her purple glimmering eyes focused on his green eyes. Her stare had an apologetic feel to them, as if she just said something she didn’t mean to.

“Why do you say that sweetheart?”

“Don’t get me wrong Nick. I was so excited to tell you! But there was also a part of me that thought… That…” She sniffled, quickly wiping away tears.

“Thought what?”

She had to turn her head away slightly from Nick so he wouldn’t see her beginning to cry. “I thought that you weren’t ready for a family, since we just got married. And I thought that you would leave if I told you.”

She held back as long as she could, but the tears came out. With her senses and emotions out of whack, it was hard to contain them.

A single drop of her salty tear fell onto Nicks cheek, soaking into his dark red fur.

He sat up quickly, bolting up right in Judy’s lap. These types of tears were ones that he would hear from her in the middle of the night. Whimpers and mumbling of his name woke him up to her saying, “Nick, please don’t leave me!” or “I’m sorry, please forgive me.”

She had nightmares about the night when she thought she had cheated on him and the rage that Nick had shown to her. It was a day she too blamed herself for heavily, more than Nick blamed himself for her injury.

But no matter the troubles that they faced, they were always there for each other to comfort the other; executing their wedding vows.

“Carrots, I would never, ever ever even consider that thought. I would be the dumbest fox in the entire world to let you go.” He placed a paw on her cheek to wipe away her tears, and so she would look at him. “If anything, I would love you even more than I already do. And that’s adding on to the endless amount of love I already have for you fluff.”

“This child, or children, will tighten the bond we both have that’s already stronger than anything else in this world. I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.”

She looked up with watery eyes. But the tears were no longer coming out of her eyes. Her smile, even though it was half a smile, returned.

“I’m so thankful for you Nick,” she proclaimed with a heavy, happy sigh. “I wouldn’t trade you for anything. I love you so much.”

“I love you too Judy,” he said as he leaned in closer to her. “And if you ever have these types of feelings again, let me know so I can help you regain your thoughts.”

Letting out their feelings was a huge relief for the two of them. Therapeutic in a way.

After a few minutes of Nick hugging Judy, burying her face in his chest, listening to her foxes steady breathing and soft purrs, they tucked into the bed.

Judy was pressed against Nicks body while his tail wrapped around her and her belly. They were at ease in each other’s embrace, allowing the night of the quite Metropolis life to induced them into a deep sleep.

The next morning…

“Come on slick!” Judy ushered to Nick as she practically ran down the street. “You’re falling behind!” She yelled back to him.

“Hold up Carrots!” Nick was racing passed other mammals just trying to get back to Judy.

The two of them were heading to the long awaited visit to the MPD; the Metropolis Police Department.

Since their arrival, Judy had been longing to see what it was like on the inside and also to see how different it was compared to the ZPD. Nick was excited as well, just not jumping off the walls crazy about it like his wife was.

Earlier…

Before they had left, Nick had wanted to surprise Judy with breakfast in bed. He woke up early, trying his best not to wake her. Half of his arm had fallen asleep during the night from Judy using it as a pillow.

But soon after he left, Judy awoke. She was confused and concerned at first when she didn’t wake up to Nick by her side.

He soon came back with an enormous platter of food consisting of whole wheat pancakes, blue berry muffins, some strawberries, breakfast bagels and donuts.

Judy knew that she was hungry, but not that hungry.

“Jeez Nick. I know I’m eating for two now, but that’s a little more than I can handle.”

“Some of this is for me too Carrots,” he clarified in a hidden chuckle.

He scarfed down one of the fluffy pancakes, nearly choking on it as he swallowed it, barely chewing it. He was hungry enough that he was willing to deal with the pain of downing his food as fast as he could.

Judy grabbed a blueberry muffin. She was starving too, more than she’s ever been in a long time. She was going to have to eat much more.

She cracked open the muffin and picked out one of the small berries from inside. She tested the taste of berry, seeing if they were anything like the ones from the farm.

“Oh Nick,” she called flirting.

He looked over from his plate of food and saw Judy holding a vibrant blue berry. One of his ultimate favorite fruits of all. It was lump and juicy looking from the outside.

She was teasing him with it so she could draw him in closer, which he did reluctantly.

When his muzzle about touched the blueberry, she grinned dastardly. She squeezed the blueberry between her fingers and smeared it all over Nicks lips, and face.

He was about to open his mouth to take the berry when she smothered him in blueberry. He became surprised and shocked from it. He loved the taste of blueberry on his taste buds; it was his favorite taste.

He went to wipe off the juice off his lips with his tongue, but was stopped by Judy.

“Let me,” she insisted in a flirty tone.

She began licking around the edge of his lips where the juices from where the berry was squeezed onto. Her tongue ended up inside his mouth, playing with her foxes own slippery tongue.

Nick replied, not using any words, began a war of the tongues.

And that’s when it hit him, blueberries weren’t his favorite taste of all time. It was the taste of a gray and white bunny named Judy Wilde.

Now…

“I knew I should’ve slept in longer,” Nick yawned wide, exposing his sharp canines. “Its too early for this”

In all honesty, he didn’t get much sleep that night. He was too thrilled to even close his eyes.

“Come on you big baby, we’re almost there.” Judy had slowed down for the tired Nick to catch up. “Plus, if we had left any later, the traffic would have probably been a lot more busier.”

And she was right. Being it was mid day in Metropolis, every street was jam packed with cars that were bumper to bumper. The lines between crossings were long, and the light for the waiting mammals to cross turned back almost as soon as it had turned green.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right Carrots,” he admitted, crossing with her to the next block.

Then a thought that he had told himself not to forget came back to his mind. “Hold on real quick Judy,” he asked of her. She stopped abruptly in the middle of the side walk, just passing the edge of a side street.

She was about to ask what he wanted, but was quickly met with a face full of fox hair, and a heavy scent of musk.

Nick was rubbing his scent all around her. It was a habit of his that whenever they went out, he would mark her so everyone knew she belonged to him. Especially to, for a lack of a better term, 'interested parties’.

“Just making sure that everyone here knows that you’re mine.” His voice was muffled within Judy’s fur, making extra sure she was covered in his scent.

“Thanks slick,” she said once Nick had stopped marking her. She enjoyed the marking process from Nick; his scratchy fur poking her skin always sent tingling sensations down her back whenever he did it.

Regardless of the views and stares from other mammals that walked by, obviously not used to seeing a fox with a bunny while marking her with his scent, neither cared. Because she then did the same to Nick.

“Kneel down,” she ordered, pointing down to her feet.

Nick did so with haste, kneeling to his queen bunny.

She began rubbing her cheeks against his, her soft white fur letting off her lavender scent all over Nicks body. He loved the smell of her aroma filling his sensitive nose. It was intoxicating, as if he were drinking in every ounce of her.

“There we go.” She finished with a kiss on Nicks wet nose.

They continued following the signs that would lead them to the MPD building, which luckily for them was only just around the block from where they were.

Once they turned the last corner of the block, the entirety of the building was shown. Needless to say, it was much larger than they had previously thought when they were in the cab.

It was easily much larger than the ZPD, and also twice as tall. It was five stories tall with giant white granite pillars in front of the entrance, holding up the protruding roof that stuck out farther than any other part of the building. The reason for the roof being as big as it was, was because of the built in training grounds. Miniature versions of the ones Nick and Judy went through when they were in the academy. It was also equipped with two helipads; one emergency chopper and one police chopper. The windows were tinted just enough so there would be no use of spying through them.

It was built in the middle of the city, so the traffic was heavier there, but still far enough away for police cars to get out.

“Holy shit!” Judy was wide eyed and her jaw practically hit the ground when she stared in amazement.

“I thought it was big before, but this is more than I had expected.”

“It’s so much bigger than the ZPD,” Nick chimed in, also dazed by the size of the building. “And I thought I was small in Zootopia. They must have a lot of more bigger cops in there.”

“Well, only one way to find out.”

Judy took Nicks paw and pulled him across the street to the MPD side of the street.

There were also a stairs, a couple dozen more than what the ZPD had. Each step had the navy blue stripe on the base, the only thing that brought any color besides white.

Statues of a lion and a sheep stood proudly by each sides of the building with a tiled quote in the center between them, reading 'Unity For All’.

Judy liked the statue and what it represented.

The darkness of the roof enveloped them as they proceeded to the entrance doors. The sensor above the door read their movements and slide open for easy access. The brightness from inside dazed both Judy and Nick’s eyes, only for a moment before the inside was finally unraveled.

Phones rang loudly through the clear acoustics of the room while conversations were drowned within them. Decorative plants and trees surrounded many of the desks on the first floor.

Officers of all shapes and sizes walked past them, giving the fox and bunny couple polite nods and smiles.

Among the officers, ranging from a couple wolves, rhinos, and an elephant, many of them were, to Judy and Nicks surprise, foxes and bunnies. Not just one group. Many were partners, discussing paper work, cases and other duties.

Judy was in an awestruck state, not sure if what she was seeing was real or not. Nick couldn’t believe it either. He was more surprised that there were so many foxes in the precinct than any other mammal.

“This is so awesome!” Judy squealed silently as she held back her excitement.

“I know fluff! It’s almost unreal,” Nick said as he looked upon a red fox and gray and white bunny that reminded him so much of Judy and himself.

“Hey carrots?” He pointed down to a desk that looked a lot like Clawhousers, except a lot cleaner. And Judy knew right away what Nick was thinking.

Judy and Nick paced down to the receptionists desk where a young badger was typing on his laptop. A fern that was sitting next to his name plate which read ‘Officer Brakunda’, was well taken care of.

Nick spoke the first greeting with a friendly, “Hello!” He waved a paw, even though the badger wasn’t paying attention as he was still glued to the screen.

A few seconds passed before Judy issued her greeting, louder this time. “Hello!”

That time, Judy’s loud voice grabbed the badgers’ attention as he looked around his desk to see who had called him. He peered over his laptop and saw the bunny and fox standing down in front of him.

“Oh, sorry about that. Was just finishing up a report,” he said in an Irish accent. “How can I help you folks today?” His smile was polite and his uniform was well groomed. It was navy blue just like Judy’s and Nick’s were, except there was a pearly white stripe stitched in the armpit area going around the arm, matching the landscape of Metropolis.

“Well, we just wanted to look around” Judy replied. “We’re officers from Zootopia and this is our first time here in Metropolis.”

The badgers eyes grew slightly as a wide open smile grew on his white fluffy cheeks. “This is amazing! I finally get to meet officers from the ZPD!” He exclaimed ecstatically. He swiftly leaned over his desk and extended a paw to shake.

To Nick, it looked like he had to stand in his chair just to reach them.

Both of them shook his paw, in which he clutched to theirs while not only shaking their paws, but also their entire arm. Badgers were known for their strength and how great of a grip they had with their sharp claws.

“What’re your names?”

Nick walked up before Judy could reply. “I’m Nicholas Wilde and this is my partner, and wife, Judy Wilde. Or you may know her as…”

“Judy Hopps?!” Brakunda interrupted loudly, his smile now wider than before.

“Y-yeah that’s right” Judy nodded with slight hesitation, not sure what the badger was about to do next. In a quick loud thump of him sitting back in his chair, almost tipping it backwards, he picked up his phone and started pushing the buttons frantically. A few seconds of his nervous fast paced taps on his desk past before his small ears perked up.

“Chief we’ve got some… No listen we’ve got some officers here from the ZPD… Yes, it’s Officer Hopps and..” He paused to look at Nick.

“What’s your name again?“He whispered.

"Nicholas Wilde” he replied softly, feeling a little defeated that he wasn’t as popular as his wife.

“And Officer Wilde” the badger quickly said. Then his smile grew. “Alright will do Cheif!” He softly hung the phone up.

“So, your chief is coming to see us?” Judy finally asked.

“Yup! He’ll be here any second” he disclosed.

Judy knew that the MPD’s chief was a bunny, while Nick had no idea who was going to be coming down those steps.

A few minutes passed by before a new face entered down from the large stair case that led to the four other stories in the building. He wore a black dress coat with a white tux shirt underneath. His tie was black, also matching the glossy black dress pants he wore. He had a serious look on his face. It was stern, rock solid and unchanging. But his facial expression changed as he reached the final step to the ground floor of the precinct.

A stern grin grew across his face, expanding the stripes on his cheeks that Nick just noticed on his face. The tips of his ears also had the same matching black stripes as his cheeks had. He was just as tall as Judy was, except his fur color was a lighter gray compared to hers.

“Thank you for calling me down here, Brakunda” the middle aged buck thanked. “So… This is the famous Judy Hopps I’ve heard so much about?”

Jack put two fingers on his chin as if interested in what he was seeing. With his eyes, he was looking her up and down.

Nick saw the bucks eye movement and felt something inside him starting to boil.

He reached for her paw before she could react and placed a hand-kiss on the top part of her paw. She was slightly stunned for a moment before slowly taking her paw back to her side. She casually wiped the kiss away on her shorts before the buck noticed.

Nicks scowl and crossed arms was showing his distaste of Jack. He didn’t like when other males came up to her in a flirtatious way, especially a more than likely single buck like Jack.

“Wilde now” she corrected the bunny chief. “This is my husband, Nick Wilde.” She glanced over at Nick to introduce him, but noticed his mood has changed. She wasn’t oblivious to the Chiefs actions towards her and new where her heart lied. She would never change that. But she could sense that Nick was feeling tempestuous inside.

Jack shot a smaller radiant smile to the fox who he could tell was a bit 'steamed’ to say the least. He could tell that he was aggravated by the way his tail was swaying from side to side.

“It’s an honor to finally meet you Mr. Wilde,” Jack said, again reaching out his paw.

Nick looked to Jack’s outstretched paw, then to his none changing smile, then to Judy, who was nodding to the bucks paw for Nick to shake.

He closed his eyes, rolling them inside so Jack didn’t see, and grabbed his paw.

"Nick,” he corrected. He didn’t like being called 'Mr’ unless he was in his uniform.

Nicks grip on the striped bunnies paw was firm and tight. He wanted to show his boiling anger within the handshake to tell Jack to back off.

And Jack wasn’t an idiot. He could feel the tendons in his paw moving and crunching together as Nick gripped his paw rather than shake it. Jack didn’t want to show any sign of pain, being the head of the MPD and all. But inside, he was cringing as his tendons popped from the strength in Nicks paw.

After another minute had passed of the awkward hand shake, Nick released his grasp on the buck. The boil he was feeling began rising in his gut.

Jack, catching on to the red foxes emotions decided to change the subject.

“Would you two like a tour?” The chief offered with a smile.

“That would be an opportunity that I wouldn’t pass up,” Judy replied with excitement. Her tail shook in response.

Nick on the other hand wasn’t as enthused.

“Are you okay Nick?” She asked in hoping for an honest answer.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He lied. He was furious with Jack. And he knew Judy could tell that he was.

She wanted to ask more but thought it best not to. She wasn’t going to get him more riled up.

To the start of the tour, Jack led them around the first floor. He showed them the large holding cells that were held in the west end of the MPD for overnight criminals and even on occasion, hardened criminals. As they moved on, he also showed them the exemplary officers who had their pictures framed up on a wall for heroism and bravery.

The second floor was where the armory was kept. Every weapon within was matched to fit every single mammal, from rabbit sized shotguns to elephant sized battering rams. The pistols ranged from Glock 40’s, to Glock 19’s and Remington 1911’s. The shotguns were the simple Remington 870’s in a Magpul tactical stock with an EOTech red dot sight. There were also AR-15’s dressed up to look like M-16’s, along with custom made AR’s with EOTech sights as well.

Amongst the guns, there was also riot shields, tear gas canisters and tasers.

Judy, and even Nick, were astounded by the amount of weaponry that they had. In Zootopia, only the ZSWAT had those types of weapons, while the other officers in the ZPD received tranquilizer guns and tasers.

All the while, Judy was taking in every little detail she could and storing it in the back of her mind. She wanted to bring back some ideas to Bogo when they returned to Zootopia. She figured the ZPD could use some drastic changes to its interior, along with other things.

Nick was impressed with what they had. He even liked that there was a shotgun that would fit him, instead of blowing his shoulder off with a bigger one. Regardless of his curiosity wondering, his attention was constantly on Jack. Every time he thought or saw the buck even beginning to flirt with Judy, he would either interrupt him verbally or sometimes, physically; not in an obvious way. And he was already fed up with the male bunny.

The third floor was where much of the paper work such as case files, pictures, documents and other such papers of importance was stored. It was also where officers desks were to do the paper work at. Nothing too special. It was about the same as it was at the ZPD.

The fourth and fifth floor, Jack told them, was where the higher ranking officers’ offices were located; Jack’s being at the top floor.

The stair case leading up to the top floor was exhausting for Judy, leaving her breathing more heavier and sweating more than before. She didn’t think that the walk to the MPD would have affected her that badly, but she also didn’t take into consideration that there was going to be stairs. Having a baby growing inside of you wasn’t making it better, not that she was complaining in the least.

They soon arrived to an overly large room, almost too big for one rabbit to use all on his own. It was surrounded by bullet proof glass walls, with the only privacy he got was with the shades down. The door was also glass.

“Come in, come in” Jack welcomed, holding the door open for Nick and Judy.

The giant desk at the end of the room was filled with paper work, pictures of other, older officers, and any decor that he placed on it. On the wall behind the desk, were framed certificates, trophies and medals he had acquired during his service.

“And that’s the Metropolis Police Department” he grinned from behind them, thus ending the tour of his pride and joy.

#zootopia #wildehopps #judy hopps #nick wilde #savageskye #jack savage #Skye winter

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muffindragon227 · 8 years ago

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I’ll Keep Your Secrets Safe - Ch. 21

AN: I'm fully going to blame the long wait for this chapter on karma. The morning my life got flipped upside down I had an anon come crying to me about having to wait longer than a month for an update. Then stuff went down with my dad (I’ve posted that on another post).

To make a long story short, I have a permanent house guest for a while now and he takes up a lot of my time, so it's been difficult finding time for myself.

I also want to add that despite my promise to myself that I'd never do it again this chapter broke 10k, and the next one is over 8k so that was part of the wait.

The good news is that Chapter 22 is written, and just needs to be edited. I'm going on my honeymoon in exactly a week and I won't be back until the 20th but I'll try to have it up for the 22nd. No promises though, since life is crazy and I've got to get everything together for my vacation on top of that, but once it's edited I'll have it up.

This chapter is dedicated to Kass from Venus who has been a constant reviewer from the beginning and Princess of Woe for keeping me going these last few weeks. Your excitement has been a huge driving force in getting this chapter and the next one written. :)

Chapter 21: Exposed

Juvia lurched after Lyon. Her heart was in her throat and reality was setting in. She made it halfway towards the den before stopping dead and whirling around to face Gray.

"I'm sorry," Juvia said in a rush. "I promise, I'll explain. I just- I need to go after him."

Gray frowned, but he nodded.

Juvia waited another moment for him to say something, but he didn't. She swallowed hard and fought against the urge to rush back and kiss him again. For once she wanted to say fuck it all, but her conscience won out.

She spun on her heel and raced to catch Lyon. She weaved through the crowd and made it to the front hall just as Lyon finished lacing his boots.

As he rose, he caught sight of her and frowned. He grabbed his coat from where it was dropped and wrenched open the door as he slung it across his shoulders.

Juvia rushed forward and grabbed her boots and coat from the closet. She shoved her feet into the boots, and was out the door, hopping and juggling her jacket as she tried to get her boots on right, while still keeping Lyon in sight. The cold bit into her skin, but she ignored it. She hoped she'd left her gloves and hat in her pockets, but it was too late to go back and grab them if she hadn't.

Instead she stumbled after Lyon onto the barely lit street, and hoped he'd wasn't planning on going too far.

Lyon could hear Juvia scrambling to keep up with him. The thud of her boots against the pavement, and the occasional crunch of ice, mixed with her laboured breathing were constant confirmations of her presence. He refused to slow down though.

His thoughts were a mess, and a dozen negative emotions bubbled beneath the surface, ready to boil over the second he stopped.

He was livid. Furious, and feeling betrayed, even though he knew he shouldn't be. Not this much. Yes, she'd kissed Gray, but it wasn't like he hadn't seen it coming. Lyon knew she'd developed feelings for him. Hell, with the way Gray was talking tonight, Lyon was pretty sure it wasn't the least bit one-sided.

He took a deep breath, the cold air burned his nose and throat, but he relished it, along with the smell of pine needles. He glanced around, realizing he'd stormed straight into the park at the end of the street.

It didn't surprise him. He use to come here all the time in high school, any time he'd had a bad day, or whenever Gray had friends over. He glanced at the playground up ahead, and slowed his pace a little. The sight of it eased his mind.

When he thought about the way Gray genuinely seemed to care about Juvia, it didn't bother him. It was actually a bit sweet, and probably the main reason Lyon hadn't straight out decked Gray.

But at the same time, Gray had made it clear he wasn't going to get in the way of Juvia's relationship. So then what the hell was that kiss? Sure, Juvia and Lyon weren't together, but Gray didn't know that. What exactly did Juvia think was going to come of this? And what if someone else had walked in on them?

Had this been what she wanted to tell him earlier? That she was tired of keeping up with their act? That she wanted to call it off?

"Can we please stop and talk about this already?" Juvia huffed.

Lyon clenched his teeth, but halted. His hands clenched and his nails bit painfully into the palm of his hands, reminding him that he hadn't even put on gloves while running out the door. He fished his gloves out of his pockets, and pulled them on.

Snow crunched under Juvia's boots as she came to a halt behind him, but she didn't reach out for him.

For that Lyon was grateful.

Finally he turned to face Juvia.

She was standing about two feet away from him, shivering. Her coat's buttons were askew and she alternated between rubbing her bare hands together for warmth and trying to unbutton them.

Lyon rolled his eyes. "Didn't you grab gloves?"

Juvia shook her head. She'd managed to get her coat undone, but was struggling to button it properly.

Lyon huffed and stomped over to her. "Stick your hands in your pockets before they go numb."

Juvia did as she was told, quietly waiting as Lyon buttoned her coat for her. Her fingers hurt and she clenched her fists in an attempt to warm them. Lyon took a step back once she was done, and Juvia met his gaze. "Lyon, I'm so sorry."

"Are you?" He asked as he glared back at her.

Juvia flinched.

"'Oh Lyon, I swear there's nothing going on between us'." Lyon mocked, voice going high to mimic her. "That was a load of bullshit. When are you gonna stop lying to me about everything?"

Juvia frowned and opened her mouth to protest. Instead she clenched her jaw and slammed her eyes shut. She took one deep breath, then another before her shoulders sagged and the tension fled her body. When she opened her eyes again she was staring at her feet instead of him. "I wasn't- I didn't plan for it to go like this."

Lyon carded his hand through his hair, only to find the sensation of thick leather fingers more agitating than soothing. He let out a long frustrated exhale. "Maybe not, but you can't tell me you didn't want it to. You're not oblivious to this shit."

"Okay, I get it!" Juvia snapped. Her head fell back and she stared up at the sky eyes closed and teeth gritted. "Yes, I wanted him to kiss me, I have for a while."

Lyon's scowl deepened. How long was a while? And why did he get the feeling there was more that she wasn't telling him. "A while? I knew you liked him, but I thought you had it under control."

"So did I," Juvia mumbled.

"Well turns out you didn't, and neither did Gray apparently." Lyon threw his hands up in the air and began to pace the pathway. "You know, a couple hours ago he was going on about not coming between us? Clearly that went right out the window at the first chance he got."

"Lyon…."

"You know I almost believed that he respected me. That he genuinely cared about how I felt-"

"Lyon! Stop! This wasn't his fault." Juvia planted herself in front of Lyon's path, grabbing his arms to stop him. She gave him a pleading look. "He wasn't even gonna kiss me. I said okay and then he barely pecked me and I… I lost myself."

Lyon wrenched out of her grasp, frustrated with the idea that Juvia was willing to shoulder the blame on this. "He sure as hell had no problem going along with it."

"No, but I don't think-"

"You don't think what? That he had a choice in the matter? He had you pressed up against the wall, not the other way around," Lyon hissed.

Juvia's palm smacked against Lyon's chest shoving him hard enough that he stumbled backwards. "Stop being an asshole and listen to me!"

Lyon stared at her wide-eyed, his whole body tense from the push. She'd never used force with him before, not while they were fighting.

"I think Gray knows you're gay."

"What! How?"

"I don't know! I tried telling you earlier; after that fight with your Mom…. I just, I feel like he knows," Juvia said, staring at him warily.

Lyon glared at her. "And how the hell would he have found out?"

It was one thing from Ultear to know, but Gray was a whole other ballgame. One that Lyon was terrified of unleashing.

"Are you seriously implying that I told him?" Juvia asked, glaring back at him. "Because I'm pretty sure he's known for a while now."

Lyon's gloved hands sunk into his hair, pulling at it in frustration. He took a deep breath and forced himself to relax. As mad as he was he knew Juvia would never out him on purpose. "No, I'm not. I just don't see how he could know, and you keep saying a while but, like, when is that? You just figured it out tonight, so how do you figure he's known for longer?”

“Well,” Juvia’s brow furrowed as she stared at the field. “There was what he said to your mom, that was when it really stood out to me… but well, he mentioned something Wednesday night-“

"Uh, we were out all night on Wednesday. We didn't get home until like three and well…." Lyon shifted uncomfortably as he remembered kissing her, much the way Gray had been earlier.

"Yeah, I know, but after we-" Juvia blushed. "When you feel asleep, I couldn't, so I went downstairs. Gray had heard us, and he went down to talk to me and well... he sad it was a problem with you and Sherry."

Lyon rolled his eyes and folded his arms over his chest.

"I told him off for it, told him that I'd take you over my other options anyways because at least you loved me and wouldn't leave me for an nicer rack. And he kinda implied…" Juvia bit her lip.

"He implied?" Lyon prompted.

"He said 'Not for a nicer rack.'"

Lyon swallowed and let the comment wash over him. It was a typical jab, the kind of thing Bacchus would say. "He was being an ass."

"I thought so too, but after what he said to your mom…. Do you really believe that?" Juvia asked.

Lyon sighed and scratched the back of his neck. He stared at the empty swing set and before he could think about it his feet carried him to them.

The chains gave a loud cachuck as he collapsed onto one of the the swing seats.

Juvia had followed him and eased herself down to perch on the remaining swing, keeping her hands stuffed deep into her pockets.

Lyon sat there for a minute, staring up at the sky in contemplation. His foot pushed against the ground rocking him back and forth. Finally he looked at her. "No, I guess I don't."

"I don't either. And it's not the first time he said something like that. When we were out at the mall and you were talking to Chelia he made a similar comment. The only thing I can think of that makes any sense is that he knows you're gay, and he thinks I don't know."

Lyon nodded. It fit what Gray had said earlier, about Juvia being devoted to him and the frustration he felt over the whole thing. But that meant Gray's known for a while, and left the question of how?

It couldn't have been Juvia, and if Gray was making comments as early as the mall, then nothing from Wednesday tipped him off. Had Ultear known before? Had she known all along, and never said anything? It didn't make sense though. For her to say nothing to him but then tell Gray, and to leave out the fact that Juvia knew….

That applied to Mered too. But no one else kne-

"You said he said something about Chelia right?" Lyon asked, his mind connecting the dots.

Juvia leaned against the cold metal chain and nodded. "He found it odd that I was comfortable leaving you alone with her." Juvia frowned. "Actually, he was pretty freaked out that I'd leave you alone with Sherry too."

"That's because Sherry was the one to tell him."

"Why would Sherry tell him?"

Lyon sighed and fished out his phone from his coat pocket, and stilled the swing. "I'm not sure, but who else could it be?"

Juvia bit her lip and shrugged.

Lyon pulled off his glove, and began scrolling through his contacts.

"What are you doing?" Juvia asked.

Lyon found Sherry's name and clicked the call button. "Finding out for sure."

The phone rang. Once, twice, three times; Lyon was almost certain it was about to go to voicemail when he heard the line go clear.

"Mm, hello?" Sherry's voice was rough and dazed as though she'd just woken up.

Guilt bubbled up in Lyon's chest. He'd forgotten that it was the middle of the night. "Um, hey Sherry."

"Lyon?"

In the background he could hear a man's voice grumble, "What the hell does he want?"

"Yeah. Look I'm sorry for calling so late." He was about to tell her he'd call back, but then he remember exactly why he'd called in the first place. Frustration and annoyance overrode ingrained courtesy. "Did you tell Gray I was gay?"

There was a pause, and he could hear the covers shuffling on the other end. "He told you?"

Well that answered that question, but it brought up quite a few more.

"When did you tell him? Why the hell would you tell him? Why didn't you think to tell me?" Lyon spat.

"Lyon…." Juvia warned. He glanced over at her and she shook her head. "Ease off."

Lyon scowled at her, but took a deep breath and tried to calm down. The damage was already done, now all he could do was try to find a way to mitigate it as much as possible. For that he needed answers. "Sorry, I just… there's kinda a lot going on right now and this definitely complicates things even more than they already are. Which freaks me out and I really need to know where the hell I stand in this mess."

"Can't you ask Gray?" Sherry asked.

"Not really, no." Lyon jiggled his leg, and the chains rattled with the movement. More than anything he wanted to reach through the phone and strangle his ex. She wasn't being particularly helpful.

Sherry sighed. "Fine, give me a minute." He heard more shuffling and then her voice, only fainter. "Sorry, I'll take this into the other room. Go back to sleep."

"Why was he yelling at you?" Ren grumbled.

"I accidentally told his brother something I shouldn't have. I promise it's nothing serious, go back to sleep," Sherry said.

Ren grumbled something Lyon couldn't hear, and again there was creaking and the rustle of sheets. Finally Lyon caught him say, "Stay in bed, I'll make us some coffee."

"But-"

"Lyon?" Juvia peered over at him in concern.

Lyon pulled the phone away from his ear. "She's talking to Ren."

Juvia nodded, and fidgeted on her swing. She pulled her hands out of her coat and ran them along her arms.

Lyon had to give it to her, she was sticking around to see this through even though she must have been freezing.

"Lyon? Are you there?" Sherry's voice called out.

Lyon returned the phone to his ear. "Yeah, sorry. Everything okay?"

"Um, yeah…. Ren's just being a bit over protective," she admitted.

"It's fine. I guess I can understand it from his perspective."

"I promise he won't say anything to anyone! He doesn't usually talk much anyways."

Lyon let out a bark of laughter. "Yeah Chelia mentioned something about that."

Sherry giggled. "Yeah, she's not a fan, but she's been better since talking to you."

"Well that's good." Lyon leaned into the chain feeling a bit more at ease. The line was silent for a moment and Lyon picked at the hem of his coat, waiting to let her compose herself.

"I swear it was an accident."

Lyon hummed in response. He wasn't sure how one accidentally outs their ex, let alone to his homophobic brother, but he doubted interrupting would get him a faster answer.

"We ran into each other a few weeks after you left, and he was livid. Came up to me and started tearing into me about the whole thing," Sherry said.

"He did?" Lyon had known that Gray was upset about it, but he didn't think Gray's concern extended that far. For Gray to go out of his way and confront Sherry was something Lyon hadn't expected.

"Mhmm, at first he caught me off guard and I just stood there. I'd felt so guilty for so long, but I was hurt when you left. Heartbroken even. I snapped."

She took a deep breath. Lyon could hear the clunk of something being set down and the bed groaning under added weight. "I thought he knew. That he, and Bacchus, and the others had said all those things because they knew, and suddenly I was yelling back at him. I yelled at him because I couldn't yell at you."

Lyon felt guilt churn in his stomach all over again.

He regretted the way things ended with Sherry. He'd hurt her far more than she'd ever hurt him, and he could only imagine how upset and frustrated she would have been, being confronted like that, once she knew the truth. Her cheating on him had given him the out he needed. Proof that the whole thing wasn't working for her either.

"I'm sorry," He mumbled. "I didn't think he'd bother. If I had I would have told him to leave you alone. I mean, I forced my mom to, and that wasn't an easy feat."

Sherry let out a breathy laugh. "Yeah, well, she still glares at me if she sees me."

Lyon grimaced. "Sorry, I'll talk to-"

"Don't worry about it, it's not a big deal." There was a moment's pause over the line. "Gray promised he wouldn't say anything until he talked to you. I made him swear it and he didn't put up much of a fight. He actually looked like he'd seen a ghost."

Lyon swallowed hard. He'd been home for days now and Gray hadn't said a thing about it. Sure, they hadn't been alone much, but Lyon figured that would be the kind of thing Gray would be itching to get off his chest. Especially if he'd kept it a secret for two whole years.

Why Gray hadn't was beyond him, but Lyon had to admit Juvia was right. Gray had changed. Why, Lyon wasn't sure; maybe it was guilt, maybe something more more….

"He never mentioned it," Lyon confessed. "Then how did you-"

"Juvia figured it out. He's been talking to her, and some of the things he's said finally added up today."

"Oh." There was a pause on the other end. "But isn't she your girlfriend?"

Lyon laughed. "No! God no. I learned my lesson on that. She's my best friend, but we get mistaken for a couple a lot, so I begged her to be my beard. Didn't want to come back here and face this hell hole alone, and she's crazy, so she agreed."

Juvia snorted indignantly.

He could hear Sherry let out a long exhale of relief. "Thank God. I was ready to kill you when Chelia told me you had a new girlfriend."

"Well, put away your pitchfork. She knows."

"Good." There was another long pause. "Shouldn't you both be at home right now? The party's tonight right?"

Lyon grimace. "Yeah, I should actually head back. I just…. Shit happened, I needed some air."

Sherry hummed. "I really am sorry I didn't tell you about it. I just figured you'd freak out. Things were already bad between us, I didn't want to make it worse."

"It's fine. I mean, no real harm done. I don't think he's told anyone." Lyon said.

"I'm glad. Chelia said you promised to stop by before you left?" Sherry prompted.

Lyon sighed and carded his hand through his hair. "Yeah I did, is that okay? If it's not I can figure someth-"

"It's fine, it would be good to see you again." She said. "I miss you."

Lyon smiled. "Yeah? Me too. And it would be nice to get a chance to meet your future hubby. He sounds like a good guy."

"Maybe pop by next week sometime? Once things quiet down?" Sherry let out a loud yawn.

"For sure." Lyon nodded even though she couldn't see it. "I should let you get back to sleep, I'll text you after Christmas and we can make plans."

"Sounds good."

"Night Sherry."

"Night Lyon, good luck with Gray."

"Thanks." Lyon pulled the phone from his ear and clicked to end the call. He let his arm drop and shifted so he could stuff his phone back into his coat pocket.

"That seemed to go well, and you got the answers we needed," Juvia said.

Lyon glanced her way, and they locked eyes.

She smiled at him, but she was visibly shivering having been out in the cold for too long while under-dressed.

They needed to head back, but there was still something niggling at the back of Lyon's mind. Something that said he didn't quite have all the pieces yet. He screwed up all of his courage and decided it was time to dive straight in. No more pussyfooting around. "Yeah, about that. Are you ready to tell me the truth about you and Gray?"

Juvia's eyes widened. "W-what?"

Lyon stared back at her, unwilling to buy into the charade any longer. "Juvia, I know you're keeping something from me, I just don't know what. I know you like Gray, and you know, I'm not even that upset about it…. So just tell me the truth, whatever it is, so we can figure out a plan and go home before you freeze to death."

Juvia blushed and looked away, instead focusing on the field of snow before them. She stared out at it, her breath fogging against the darkness.

Lyon huffed impatiently, certain she wasn't gonna say anything.

"He kissed me."

Lyon rolled his eyes. "Yeah I kinda noticed."

Juvia shook her head. "Before. Wednesday night, actually."

"I'm sorry, what?" Lyon stared at her in disbelief. Tonight wasn't the first time they'd kissed?

"He…." Juvia let out a long breath and turned to look at Lyon. Her right hand rose to brush against the back of her neck, and she blushed. "I broke down in the downstairs bathroom. I think he heard me, he was frustrated with you, and told me I deserved better after looking after you all night. I threw the things you told me about him in his face and then I- I threw what Bora did in his face too, and he just…."

Tears were pooling in Juvia's eyes and she brushed them away.

Lyon's heart clenched. He remembered how she'd broken down the next morning, how guilty she'd felt. It never occurred to him that she'd been unable to sleep; that she might have needed comfort that night. He frowned at the thought of Gray taking advantage of her in that moment.

Juvia's eyes locked with Lyon's. "He looked me in the eyes and told me I deserved better than that too."

Or Gray could have told her exactly what she needed to hear, and some how managed to comfort her in her time of need. A part of Lyon felt put out by the fact that it was Gray that had been there for her, but mostly he felt grateful that someone had been there at all.

"After that there was a tequila shot, because he thought I'd taken you out to get you drunk, and then I stupidly told him that I'd taken you out to dance, and suddenly there was Hozier, and he was asking me to dance, and the kitchen was all moonlit and I don't know what he was thinking, and I knew it was going to lead to trouble, but I just…. I wanted to feel wanted. You know?" Juvia pleaded.

Lyon nodded, as he rose off the swing. Of course he knew what that felt like, it'd been the entire reason he'd kissed her in the first place. Long strides brought him to her, and he bent to wrap her in a hug.

"It's okay," he whispered in her ear. "I get it."

He held her like that for a few moments before pulling away and crouching in front of her. He gingerly wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"There was this small brush of his lips against the back of my neck and I- I thought it was a mistake, but then he kissed me again, and I freaked. I freaked and I bolted, and he didn't come after me, and I kinda just thought that was that. That it was a mistake, some crazy in the moment thing, and he's been so careful not to let it happen again, or to get too close…."

Lyon's thumb brushed over her hand.

Juvia took a deep breath. "Realizing that all this time he's been trying to warn me, that he knew and he wanted to say something, but respected you enough not to and me enough to keep his distance and respect a relationship he knew wasn't real…."

Lyon nodded. It was a whole different way to see Gray, and he couldn't blame her for finding it incredibly attractive. "It's okay. Really. Even if he was an ass I don't think I could actually hold it against you, but he's not, and I want you to be happy."

Juvia stared at him in shock.

"I'm serious, I'm backing off. Besides I think he really likes you back so-"

"You do?" Juvia looked at him with hopeful eyes.

"Yeah, I think he's really convinced you're in love with me, but I mean that kiss probably is at least giving him second thoughts." Lyon smirked at her and Juvia smiled back.

His phone buzzed, breaking through the silence. It vibrated against his thigh and Lyon sighed, fishing it back out again. As he caught sight of the text his whole body tensed and his stomach roiled. "We've got a problem."

Juvia's smile faltered and she cocked her head to the side.

Lyon offered her the phone and watched as she read the text.

Juvia paled. Her eyes met his, and were wide with panic.

The text was from his mom; demanding to know where he was and what happened between Gray and Juvia.

The phone vibrated again, and Juvia practically jumped out of her skin. She held it back out towards him as though the device itself was going to gut her.

Lyon grabbed it, dreading what his mother had written.

Ur: I swear to God that girl has some nerve!

Her next message popped up even as he was reading the first.

Ur: How completely ungrateful can she be?

Ur: I'm not tolerating this any more, she can't insult my husband and cheat on my child and just expect to get away with it. The second she gets back here she's packing her bags.

Lyons hand clutched the phone tighter. He glared down at the device, extremely grateful Juvia wasn't reading the slew of texts coming in. He ground his teeth and seethed. He wasn't about to abandon Juvia and send her off two days before Christmas, not after everything she'd been through.

"We gotta head back, she's pitching a fit," Lyon growled.

Juvia hesitated, her fingers curling around his wrist. "Shouldn't we have a plan?"

Lyon glanced at her, with eyebrows raised. "Right." He took a deep breath, but his heart hammered in his throat. Cana saw them kiss, Erza saw them kiss. They could maybe convince Gray to go along with something, but he doubted that the others would. "I've got nothing."

Juvia swallowed hard. "Me neither. What do we do?"

Lyon shrugged. He had no clue. "Well, usually I'd say we throw Gray under the bus, but I'm guessing that's not really an option?"

"Lyon." Juvia glared at him. "We're not throwing Gray under the bus."

Lyon sighed dramatically. "See this was what I was afraid of, you fall in love with him and now I'm left to fend for myself! What ever happened to bros before hoes?"

Juvia rolled her eyes. Before Lyon could think about it her hand pushed against his chest, sending him careening into the snow. His hands caught him before he fell all the way back, but he could already feel the cold seeping through his jacket and gloves. He pouted.

"Don't even try to make me feel guilty," Juvia said, standing so that she towered right over top of him. "Technically Gray is your bro, which means I'm the hoe and you better believe I'm gonna knock you on your ass for a comment like that."

"Pfft. Okay, I could have seen that one coming." He raised his hands up and made grabbing motions like a child.

Juvia reached down and grabbed his hands, and hauled him up onto his feet.

Lyon dusted off his jacket and sighed. "I guess the only solution is for me to come out."

Juvia froze, and stared up at him wide-eyed. "Are you sure?"

No. Anxiety twisted his stomach into knots just saying the words, but they didn't have many other options.

"You don't have to come out," Juvia insisted, her hand rested on his forearm.

"You say that, but I don't see how you could possibly lie your way out of this one," Lyon said.

Juvia bit her lip and averted her gaze. Her voice was low and trembled as she spoke. "I can leave. Tell them that we broke up over the kiss. I can crash at the bus station, then take the first bus home in the morning."

"What? No way!" Lyon's heart hammered and he glowered at her.

Did she really think he'd let her do that? Sure he asked her to pretend to date him so he could avoid having to come out, but he'd never agree to abandon her at Christmas. Not so he could maintain the charade.

"But-"

"No!" He grabbed her by the arms, and his body shook with anger and pain. "Do you really think I care more about my secrets than your happiness? Than your safety? I don't care where you grew up, like hell I'm letting you sleep in a bus shelter. Or spend Christmas alone on a bus!"

Juvia averted her gaze, but Lyon could see the tears welling at the corners of her eyes. "It's not a big deal-"

"Bullshit! What do I need to do or say to get it through your thick skull that I care about you? If you go, you lose everything you just gained. I'd never do that to you!"

"I know…. But this was my fault, I got-"

"Oh my god, stop. Seriously. And you call me the drama queen? You like Gray, he likes you, you kissed; this wouldn't be an issue if I hadn't asked you to pretend to be my girlfriend. You've done enough for me, it's time I actually did something for myself," Lyon said.

"Lyon…." Juvia pushed through his grasp, and threw herself against him. Her arms wrapped tightly about his waist.

Lyon stumbled, but he managed to catch his footing before the two of them landed in the snow. He let out a long sigh before curling his arms around her, pulling her tight to his chest. A large part of him was terrified of what was to come, but he knew it was the right thing to do.

Besides, she belonged with his family. Who knows, if all went well she would end up being an official member of it.

He smiled as he remembered that Mered had suggested something along the same lines. He wondered if coming out would allow him a second chance. He doubted it, but he'd cross that bridge when he got there.

He planted a soft kiss on the crown of Juvia's forehead. "Come on. Let's go home."

They weren't even in the door when Ur came barrelling towards them from the living room. "There you are! It's about time you got back here. I want an explanation, what do you have to say for yourself!"

Juvia backed right into the door and Lyon stepped in front of her without thinking. "Mom you need to calm down, we can explain."

"You shouldn't have to explain anything!" Ur screamed, seething at Juvia.

"Yes he does!" Gray shouted, his heavy stomps reverberated against the floorboards as he stormed into the foyer. "I told you, this isn't on Juvia, you don't know half of what's going on."

Ur spun on him faster than Lyon had ever seen. "That's enough! I said I'd deal with you later, now go sit down!"

"No!" He shouted back. He foot stomped against the ground

Silver and Ultear appeared behind him, both looking agitated.

"Gray, now's not the time to be throwing tantrums," Silver warned. His frown shifted from his son, to Juvia and Lyon could see her shrink under the disapproval.

Lyon's gut twisted, and his hand reached back to grab hers as and his frustration mounted. This wasn't going well, and no one would shut up long enough for him to get a word in.

"I'm not!" Gray's eyes met Lyon's and he glared at him. "You need to tell them the truth, all of them! If you don't I will, I don't care if you hate me for it!"

"Gray don't," Juvia pleaded. "Just calm down, it's okay."

"No it's not," he growled. "You don't understand!"

"Yes, I do. Just trust me," Juvia said

Ultear scoffed. "That's rich, why should he? You've been lying to us since you got here."

"Ultear," Lyon growled.

"Save it Lyon. I'm with Gray it's time you two came clean." Ultear said.

"I'm trying to, if you'd all just shu-"

"Stop twisting this around on your brother! I can't believe both of you! I raised you all better than this!" Ur screamed.

"Mom enough! Listen to me for once!" Lyon screamed back.

"No, don't let her manipulate you into thinking this is your fault, because it's not! I've watched her twist you and everyone else in this family around and I'm not going to keep letting her do it."

"She's not manipulating me, if you'd just listen-"

"Yes she is!"

"No! She's not! She can't be, because I'm gay and I don't give a damn that she kissed Gray!"

Silence filled the foyer so suddenly, Lyon wondered if time had stopped. He took a shaky breath and met his mom's eyes.

Ur stared at him wide eyed, and mouth agape, but no words came out. Her eyes darted back and forth between him and Juvia, but her frown remained in place.

All eyes were on him, and for the longest time the only sound was their breathing. Juvia's hand squeezed his tighter as they waiting for someone to say something.

"Mom?" Lyon's voice quivered, and he hated it. He hated the way she was looking at him, as though he was a ghost, or some stranger she'd never met.

Ur slammed her eyes shut. She inhaled deeply, and her whole body shook. When she opened her eyes her gaze was sharp. "I need a moment."

She didn't wait for a response. She spun on her heel and strode back into the living room.

Silver paused, offering Lyon and Juvia a worried glance before sighing and following Ur.

Lyon's heart sank as they disappeared, and he wondered how he managed to remain standing.

Lyon felt Juvia's hand squeeze his. The tips of her fingers skated against the back of his hand. He focused on the feeling as he struggled to ground himself in reality. He took a breath in; then out. He forced his eyes to move about the room taking in the details.

Gray was the closest thing to him, and stood directly between Lyon and the living room doorway.

Gray sighed and scratched the back of his neck as he stared after their parents. Slowly his gaze shifted to meet Juvia's. "You doing okay? I've been trying to warn you but-"

"It's fine, I already knew," Juvia said, straightening now that she was no longer being screamed at.

"Huh?" Gray wrinkled his nose in confusion.

"She knows he's gay, they're not really dating," Ultear said, drawing Lyon's gaze to her. She leaned back against the banister for the stairs and scoffed, folding her arms over her chest. "So you can't come out for Mered, but you'll come out for her?"

Lyon flinched, and struggled to form a defense. His tongue felt heavy in his mouth, and he couldn't think straight over the pounding of his heart and the ragged sounds of his breathing.

No matter how many times he'd imagined this moment it had never gone like this.

"Ultear, that's not-"

"You've been lying to us all this time?" Gray spat, interrupting Juvia.

She froze, and the silence between them stretched for an eternity. She eased out from behind Lyon and shuffled forward so that she could stand by his side. She gave his hand another squeeze before replying. "Yes."

"Has anything been true with you?" Gray demanded.

"Of course." Juvia frowned.

"Like what?" Ultear said. "All of Wednesday was a lie."

Lyon took a shaky breath. He could hear them, but he struggled to process the conversation. Why were they upset about this? They were fine with Mered being gay, so why couldn't they understand? He wanted to scream. To tell them to shut up. But the words lodged in his throat. His chest tightened and he let out a whimper.

Juvia's words died at the sound and she spun around to face him. Her whole face softened as she took in his appearance. "Hey, hey-"

"I wanna go home." Lyon's whole body was quivering and his eyes pleaded with Juvia.

"You are home," Ultear snapped.

Lyon shook his head.

"Lyon…." Juvia's hands cupped his cheeks, as her eyes searched his

"Seriously? You're just gonna bail on us?" Gray asked.

Juvia whipped her head around. "Oh my god! Can you both stop! You're not helping."

"Well, he's being ridiculous." Ultear said. "We're his family; he can't keep running away from us because he doesn't want to face reality."

Lyon let out a choked sob. The last bit of self restraint broke and tears streaked down his face as sobs racked his body. His knees gave out and he crumpled to the ground in a heap by the door. He new he looked like a mess and he hated being so vulnerable. He's never let his family see him like this.

Juvia was down beside him in an instant, and her arms wrapped around him protectively. She shielded him and let him break apart in her arms.

"They hate me," Lyon whispered against her chest.

"No they don't," Juvia said.

"I should never have come back here."

"That's not true."

"My mom's never gonna look at me again."

"Lyon, look at me," Juvia insisted, her hands cupped his face to force him to comply.

He did. His blurred gaze caught on Gray and Ultear, who were hovering a foot away, with concerned frowns.

"Look at me," Juvia said, brushing the tears from his face even as more fell to take their place.

When their eyes met, Lyon felt a small measure of calm wash over him. The tears didn't stop, but the sobs lessened and he found himself breathing easier.

"Your family doesn't hate you, they love you. All of them. They're upset right now, but it'll pass." Her hand brushed away more tears.

He shook his head. It wouldn't.

"It wasn't a mistake to come home, you've made so much progress with Gray and you've been really happy being back here." One of her hands slipped from his cheek to his shoulder as his tears slowed.

He swallowed and took a deeper breath. It wasn't entirely true, but there had been moments when he was happy to be home. When he felt like things were going in the right direction.

"As for your mom, she just needs a minute to absorb everything, she'll be back out to talk to you. She was angry at Gray and I when you told her, and I'm sure she just didn't want that anger to come out at you." Juvia leaned forward and kissed his forehead then pulled him into a hug.

Lyon leaned into her embrace and held her tight. "I fucked up."

"We fucked up, we lied about a lot of things. That's why they're upset, no one is mad that you're gay." Juvia's hands ran up and down the length of his back, easing the ache in his heart.

"I'm scared," he whispered, nuzzling against her shoulder.

"I know, but I'm here. It's going to be fine, and if it really gets bad then I'll drag you to the car and drive until we're miles away; but you gotta give them a chance."

A foreign hand landed on his left shoulder and Lyon turned his head to find Ultear crouched beside them. "I'm not upset you're gay. I'm hurt that you thought you couldn't tell me; that you couldn't rely on me. You're my baby brother I'm supposed to protect you."

A fresh wave of tears streamed down Lyon's cheeks as he released Juvia and flung his arms around Ultear. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

It took a moment for Ultear to wrap her arms back around him, but when she did relief flooded through Lyon. That was one person who was okay with it.

A thump against the door drew Lyon's attention and he found Gray leaning back against it.

Gray stared at Lyon for a moment before running a hand through his hair and letting out a loud sigh. His head fell back against the door with thunk. "I really don't have an issue with it. I get why you'd think I do, though. I've spent the last two years wishing I could go back and make it right. I can't even be mad at you, cause this is all on me."

Lyon used his sweater to wipe the tears from his eyes, certain that he was seeing things. But when he looked back up, Gray's eyes were glassy. They stared at each other for a long time, before Lyon shook his head. "It's not all you."

The tension that had been strung through Gray's body loosened and relief flooded his features. He nodded, then clapped a hand on Lyon's shoulder.

Heels clacked against the hardwood and Lyon's stomach knotted all over again, as he turned his head to peer at the living room entrance.

"Alright, clearly we need to talk abo-" Ur halted in the doorway, stunned by the sight before her.

Juvia shifted closer to Lyon instinctively, her arm wrapping around him protectively and Lyon leaned into her.

Ur's eyes narrowed, but she said nothing, her gaze taking in all of them huddled together on the entrance mat.

Lyon's heart hammered against his chest, making the silence unbearable. "Mom, please… say something."

Ur strode forward before dropping down to her knees in front of him, with her arms held wide. "Come here baby."

Lyon lurched forward into her arms, wrapping himself up in her embrace. "I'm sorry," he choked. "I'm sorry, please don't be disappointed in me."

"Lyon-"

"Please. I'm sorry, I tried not to be, really!" Lyon sobbed, and clung to her tighter.

"Oh, sweetie… no, never. Lyon I love you, I don't care about that. I'm upset that you've lied to us all, but we can talk about that." She held him closer and stroked his back. "You don't have to be ashamed of who you are, I'm not going to stop loving you."

Lyon forced himself to take a deep breath, as the tears continued to fall. Relief washed over him as he sat there, cradled in his mother's arms. They accepted him, and while she was right, they had a lot to talk about still, it was the closest Lyon had felt to being whole in a long time.

It took several more minutes of tears and murmured words for Lyon to compose himself. Despite being exhausted and worn out, he knew he had a lot of explaining to do. He wanted to suggest they sleep on it, everyone had to be feeling the late hour, but he worried that he might lose his nerve.

Besides, sleep wouldn't come easy until he'd dealt with the whole of this.

"I know I shouldn't have lied, but, if you're willing to, I'd like the chance to explain."

Ur nodded. "How about we all go get comfortable in the living room and we can talk this mess out?"

Lyon nodded. "Sounds good."

"I'll grab a couple bottles from the bar," Ultear said. "We're gonna need something to help steady the nerves."

Ur rolled her eyes but didn't protest. She let Lyon help her to her feet and brushed off her pants.

Juvia placed a ginger hand on Lyon's arm and he glanced over at her. Their eyes met and he could see the concern there.

His hand covered hers and gave it a squeeze. "I'm okay now."

She nodded, and her gaze flickered about the room, before focusing on the floor, and she shifted closer too him.

Lyon wrapped his free arm around her protectively and faced his mom.

Ur took a deep breath in and let her eyes fall onto Juvia, who refused to look up from the floor.

Neither said a word, and Lyon could feel the tension still between them. He ran his hand along Juvia's shoulder, and pulled her closer. He wasn't letting her shoulder this anymore.

She'd only done what he'd asked of her, and found herself caught up in more than she'd expected. She'd lied for him, and now he'd fight tooth and nail for her.

"Come on, let's go sit." He guided Juvia past his mom, and into the living room.

Silver was seated on the couch, head in his hands, looking exhausted and much older than he ever had before. He glanced up as they entered and offered them a small smile. "You kids okay?"

Lyon nodded and smiled back.

Juvia glanced up at him seeming surprised at the question, and then bit her lip. Her gaze once again returned to Ur for a split second, before dropping again. "Y-yeah."

Concern knitted into Silver's brow as he took in Juvia's defeated posture. He glanced at Ur in confusion, and she glanced at Juvia and Lyon in turn.

Lyon ignored Ur's stare, and settled the two of them on the love seat, while Ur settled beside Silver on the couch. His hand found hers and he gave it a small squeeze.

Gray trudged in dragging his feet, before flopping down on the arm chair with his arms crossed along his chest. Ultear was the last to join them, reappearing from the dining room with an arm full of bottles that she set down on the coffee table with a thunk.

Silver immediately reached out and poured himself a glass of whiskey and Ultear refilled her glass of wine before perching on the arm of the couch beside him.

Silence stretched in the room, everyone was glancing around, but no one seemed to know where to start.

Lyon glanced at Juvia once again, and found her staring at her feet. He took a deep breath. "You should all know, none of this was Juvia's idea. I was terrified of coming back here and facing everyone after so long. It's so much easier in Margaret Town." He wrung his hands together, nervous about everything he wanted to say; all that he needed to express.

Juvia placed her hand over his, and he stilled. Their eyes met and she offered him the barest hint of a smile, but it managed to unwind the knots that had been constricting in his gut.

Lyon lifted his head and stared at his family. "I knew I couldn't keep avoiding you all, and I missed being home, but I hated having to hide everything. I hated having to check myself and hold back. When Juvia told me Gajeel wasn't gonna be able to visit her, and she'd be alone for Christmas, and it was kinda like the universe gave me this perfect solution."

"I can't believe you thought lying to us was a perfect solution," Ultear scoffed. "Did you really think you could keep this charade up for two weeks and no one would catch on?"

"It's not much of a charade. We haven't had to act differently. People are always mistaking us for a couple; even people who know Lyon's gay," Juvia explained.

"It's true. I mean, none of you questioned it," Lyon said. "And we didn't have to lie about much."

"Just how we met," Juvia added.

"That wasn't how you met?" Gray asked, glancing back and forth between them in surprise.

"Well, it was," Lyon said.

"Just not the part about me being harassed by guys." Juvia said.

Lyon glanced at her, and sighed. "Yeah, that was actually me. A few guys at school thought it would be fun to give me hard time after my ex and I came out. Juvia was the one to swoop in and save my ass."

"I kinda went off on them," Juvia admitted sheepishly.

"It was bad ass, you were my hero." Lyon smiled at her, before turning back to his family. They were staring at him like he'd grown a second head.

"You two are seriously like this all the damn time?" Ultear groaned.

"Yep."

"Pretty much."

Ur frowned and glanced between them. "You're sure you're not-"

"Very sure," Lyon interjected. He scratched at the back of his neck, as his mind wandered back to Wednesday night. "Trust me."

Ur leaned back into the couch with a sigh. "Okay, well, is there anything else we should know?"

Lyon bit his lip and shifted in his seat. "Umm, well-"

"What about Wednesday?" Ultear prompted, as she folded across her chest.

Lyon glared at her. His date with Mered wasn't something he had any patience to discuss, especially given the way the conversation had gone earlier.

Ur frowned. "Wednesday? The incident with Sherry?"

Lyon felt the guilt bubble up inside him at Ur's concern.

"There wasn't an incident with Sherry," Juvia said. She gave Lyon's hand a squeeze and sat a little straighter.

"Whaddya mean?" Gray frowned. "We went and picked him up. I was there when you got the call."

"There was an issue, it just wasn't about Sherry. I lied because I didn't know what else to tell you," Juvia said.

"Why would you need to lie about that?" Silver asked.

Lyon took a deep breath, readying himself for the fallout. "She lied because I wasn't out with Sherry, I had a date."

"What?" Silver said.

"With who?" Ur asked.

"Who do you think?" Ultear grumbled. "There was a reason Juvia and I got into it earlier."

"Wait, you were with Mered?" Ur asked.

Lyon sighed and nodded. "Yeah."

"But Mered's out, I mean, wouldn't you have known that we knew and were okay with it?" Gray asked.

"I didn't know he knew any of you," Lyon confessed, staring at his hands. "He never told me."

Silver frowned. "But how did you two meet?"

"Online, through a dating site. I don't know, he messaged me. Said he saw I was from a nearby town and I kinda brushed him off at first, since I wasn't out." Lyon explained. "He was persistent though, said he wanted someone to talk to who understood. I never even planned on meeting him until last month."

Gray sat up and leaned forward. "So that day; you were upset because-"

"Things kinda blew up."

Ultear scoffed. "More like you freaked for no reason and he called you out on it."

"I didn't freak for no reason!" Lyon exploded, glaring at her. "I had no idea how any of you would would react. I had no idea he knew how you'd react! In fact, if he knew you, he knew I wasn't out in the first place, so I don't get why he was so shocked."

"He wasn't shocked. He didn't care that you weren't out, he just figured you'd actually want to come out since you were out at school and wanted to date him," Ultear countered.

"Well I might have been a little more open to the idea if he'd bothered to tell me that my entire family knew him," Lyon said. "Hell you could have told me you knew, instead of getting pissed off after the fact."

"I didn't find out until Thursday night. I had no idea you two were even in contact. Why does any of that even matter? Did you honestly think we'd freak out on you? That we'd disown you or something?" Ultear demanded, slamming her fist down on the arm of the couch.

The word yes bubbled on his tongue, ready to poison the room. Lyon bit it back, and clenched his jaw tight to keep the word from spilling forth. No matter how much the voices in his head had suggested that might be the case, deep down he knew he was being dramatic.

He knew they wouldn't have turned him out. Chances were they wouldn't even have spoken out against him. No, the issue was in all the things left unsaid, or in the dismissal of concerns. The easing of ruffled feathers, the constant call for patience and understanding, things they already expected of him with every other situation.

And he would have been. He would have swallowed every poisoned barb thrown his way with nary a complaint. He would have held his head high all the while being rotted from the inside and they would have encouraged it. Praise him for it, even.

Eventually he'd resent them for it. Eventually he would break apart under the pressure and then…. Well, he honestly didn't know, but the thought terrified him.

Ultear frowned, misunderstanding his silence. "Do you think so little of us?"

Lyon shook his head. "No, of course not."

"Just of me," Gray said, meeting Lyon's gaze.

Lyon sighed and closed his eyes, massaging his fingers against his temple. "That's not wha-"

"It's okay," Gray interjected. "I don't blame you for it. After everything I've done, Bacchus and his friends, I don't exactly have the best opinion of myself either."

Lyon let out an exasperated sighed. It was like trying to talk to a rock, or well, maybe not because a rock wouldn't interrupt him or talk over him or assume it knew what he thought and felt.

"Look I know he's a drama queen at times, but it's not as black and white as you're all trying to make this," Juvia stated as she straightened herself. She let her words hang for a moment as she took in everyone in the room, making sure she had their attention.

All of them quieted and stared at her.

It always amazed Lyon how she did that in day to day life. He could command the same attention in a play, or while singing, but never when the words were his own.

"You're all looking at this as some personal attack, like his lack of trust is due to some horrible behaviour that's convinced him you're all homophobic, but it's nothing like that. None of you are horrible people, but it's like I said earlier, you all kinda give the impression that you'd rather not deal with it," Juvia explained.

"Why? Because we don't go picking fights with people every chance we get," Ultear snapped. She glared at Juvia. "Sorry, but none of us have had the opportunity to sweep in and play hero."

Juvia bristled at the accusation. "You think that's all it took? One night and suddenly he was baring his soul to me?"

"That's how you make it sound," Ultear said.

"Well that's not how it went. Sure we've been friends ever since, but it took months of protecting him to get him to trust me," Juvia said. "Months of me chasing off anyone who tried to shame him or bully him, fighting to make a safe space for him. I haven't just been paying him lip service all this time, I've been actively standing by his side, and sometimes in front of him when the need called for it."

"And you think we wouldn't have?" Ur asked. "If we knew-"

"If you knew, he'd have already told you. What you're saying is that he needed to trust you to do something that you wouldn't do unless he spoke up, can't you understand how hypocritical that is?" Juvia huffed. She glowered at Ur.

"Okay, let's all take a step back," Silver said, placing a hand on Ur's and looking at Juvia pointedly. "We're all starting to feel a bit defensive."

Juvia took a deep breath, and leaned back into the love-seat. She glanced over at Lyon and he gave her hand a squeeze.

Ur mirrored the action.

Silver smiled, then surprised Lyon by turning to lock eyes with him, instead of the girls. "We're getting off point. It's late, emotions are running high, and Juvia's right."

Ur frowned at the declaration, but Silver continued anyways, "We're taking Lyon's silence as a lack of trust. And we keep attacking him for it, and Juvia keeps jumping to his defense. But none of us are letting Lyon talk or explain this for himself."

Lyon felt the weight of those words and the task ahead of him settle like a stone over his chest. He was terrible with his words when under stress, and he felt like the whole room was charged to explode. He felt like he'd been handed a match and told not to drop it.

Juvia tightened her grip and leaned into him. "It's okay, just tell them what you've told me. No matter what, I've got you."

Lyon swallowed and nodded.

Ur and Ultear both shifted forward and all eyes were on him. The silence in the room was oppressive, and he felt like a trap waiting to be sprung.

"I'm afraid nothing's gonna change." Lyon held his breath, waiting for the backlash.

He was met with silence and confused frowns, but no one jumped to speak over him. The floor was his; they were all listening for once.

"It's easier to dismiss things when I can tell myself none of you know, that it's not intentional." His leg bounced as he spoke, the words spilling out into the room. "Telling you means having to accept that what you say from there on out is how you feel. That it's what you think is right. I'm afraid you're gonna tell me to stay quiet. Turn the other cheek, be the bigger person, because that's what you always expect of me."

He took a deep breath. It was like drawing poison from the wound, only he wasn't sure what would happen to it. He was waiting for someone to jab it back in. "Only, staying quiet doesn't just mean walking away from an insult, it means don't make waves. Don't give them a reason. It means not kissing my boyfriend in public, or holding his hand and that's not fair. You'd never ask that of someone else. I don't want to spend the rest of my life pretending to be some half person with no emotions in public."

"We wouldn't-"

"You already do." Lyon stared Ur down, causing her word to catch in her throat. "You expect so much more of me than you ever do of Ultear or Gray. I'm tired of it. I can't keep meeting your expectations and that scares me even more, because I don't want to disappoint you, but it feels like no matter what I will."

Ur's shoulders sagged and her lips thinned. "You would never be able to disappoint me. Not by being yourself. I know that I leaned on you a lot as a kid, but I never actually expected you to always rise to the occasion. I still don't. You don't have to meet any of my expectations. All I want is for you to be happy."

Lyon swallowed hard. It was a relief to hear her say that, and to have finally said everything he'd been carrying around, but it still didn't feel like things were resolved.

"I think we forget how much we rely on you. We noticed it that first Christmas, but we've all kinda come together and moved forward. But we never really addressed it as an issue, least of all with you." Ultear said.

"I honestly thought that was why you never came home. I thought that you finally felt free from responsibilities and I couldn't blame you for wanting to enjoy yourself. You deserved it. I didn't realize you were holding so much more in." Ur said.

"It's why we never pushed for you to come home," Silver said. "Or got upset when you'd decline visits."

Lyon shook his head. "I was just afraid you'd come down and someone would out me."

Silver nodded in understanding.

The room fell quiet, but it wasn't as oppressive as before. Lyon felt his fears ebbing away, each beat of his heart pumped new life into him. It wasn't perfect but it was going to be okay.

#gruvia #lyredy #gruvia fanfiction #ftfanfics #fics for vera #fairy tail #ft fanfiction #lyredy fanfiction #IKYSS #muffin stories

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lady-divine-writes · 8 years ago

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Klaine fic - “Not Just My Wingman” Chapter 3/4 (Rated NC17)

Kurt and Blaine are roommates, living in the loft together after Blaine graduates from high school and moves to New York. Kurt is determined that he’s over Blaine, and tries to prove it by helping him get a date…or ultimately, get laid. But when Blaine succeeds in finding a guy that’s actually interested in him, will Kurt realize that he wasn’t as over Blaine as he thought?

***Edit - In case you’re wondering, yes, I had posted this a while ago, but I came back and re-read it…and decided I hated it. So I re-wrote it. It’s basically the same, only the language is way better, as are the characters. So, read it again!

Based on the Tumblr prompt - Where Kurt and Blaine go out club hopping as friends, with each other as their wingman. “I’d like them to kinda be like ‘well, we’re pretty dumb for not realizing how back together we are’ or something, and ultimately get back together. Maybe someone points out that they’re basically together again…”

Passing mention of Rachel and Santana, but they don’t live at the loft. Also, the bedrooms in the loft are actual rooms with doors. Mention of Adam (Adam friendly) and Chandler. (Mentions the break up and Blaine’s cheating.)

Read on AO3.

Chapter 1 - The Chapter Where Kurt Tried to Get Blaine Laid…and Succeeded

Chapter 2 - The Chapter Where Kurt Freaked Out and Blaine Went on a Date…in that Order

Chapter 3 - The Chapter Where We Find Out What the Hell Happened to Kurt

Kurt took longer than he had planned in the shower. He wasn’t lollygagging. He needed the time alone to recover and think. But they paid for water, so Kurt had to do something else to justify the extra time. There was only so much one could do in the shower (after taking masturbating out of the equation), so he put extra care into cleaning and deep conditioning his hair, loofah-ed every rough patch on the soles of his feet, massaged his charcoal mud mask into his face, and then rinsed till his skin squeaked. He showered until the water ran cold, then did a complete second rinse to tighten his pores and get his heart pumping. If Blaine asked, Kurt could claim he was doing an extra bit of pampering since the bar atmosphere, the drinks he’d had, the sweat from dancing (and from sex), and then sleeping on filthy sheets, had wreaked havoc on his skin.

But the truth was he wasn’t ready to face Blaine.

Kurt spent over an hour underneath the spray until he was finally okay. And he knew he was okay because he told himself so, multiple times.

“I can do this,” he said, turning off the water and reaching for his towel. “I can totally do this,” he repeated, patting his wrinkled skin dry. “This is a new day,” he continued, dotting on his face moisturizer, followed by his body moisturizer. “No reason for what happened last night to destroy anything. We’ll move on from here. Continue like it never happened. Things don’t have to get awkward between me and Blaine just because we slept with one another. We’ve slept with each other dozens of times. This isn’t anything new. In fact, this will make things better. There’s been sexual tension in this loft up the wazoo for months. We’ve gotten it out of our systems, and now we can move forward. That’s it. Just … move forward. Just keep swimming … just keep swimming, just keep swimming …” When his personal pep talk devolved into a Disney show tune, he knew it was time to face the music.

Kurt took a breath, wrapped his robe tight around him, and left the bathroom. Whatever he found outside that door, he’d deal with it like a mature adult.

But when he stepped outside, Blaine wasn’t there. The loft was not only quiet, it seemed empty - no sign of life aside from himself. It was Saturday, so Kurt couldn’t think of anything that Blaine had to do. He could have gone down to the gym, decided to shower there since Kurt was taking forever, and blow off some steam in the process. Or maybe he didn’t leave. Maybe he went back to bed to pass out for a few hours. Just thinking of bed made Kurt yawn. Apparently, after everything that had happened, a one-hour shower wasn’t enough to wake him up sufficiently. Sleep sounded like an excellent idea. He’d go to bed, get a few hours of unconsciousness under his belt, and when he woke up, it would be like starting a brand new day.

Kurt went to his room, took off his robe, and, without putting on his pajamas, climbed under his covers. He melted into his mattress, the clean, cool sheets soothing against his freshly washed skin. He was determined to put last night behind him, go on as if it had never happened, even if he could still feel Blaine’s hands on his body, his mouth on his chest, his fingers opening him up, touching him deep inside. And not only in a physical sense. They had come back to where it all began, been one in a way that Kurt didn’t think they had since that first time they made love in Blaine’s bedroom back in Lima.

The more he tried to push those memories aside and surrender to unconsciousness, the more they wanted to settle beneath his skin. The horrible part was they felt comfortable there. They felt right. They fit there, and in a way, they made him whole. Not because Kurt needed a man to complete him. He’d railed against that kind of thinking his entire life. He might want someone, but that didn’t necessarily mean he needed someone. Blaine, in a way, was a perfect fit in that respect. He didn’t try to glue all of Kurt’s pieces back together, but the mess made more sense when he was around, and that was something Kurt had always felt a perfect partner was. Not someone who wanted to fix you, but someone whose presence made order out of the chaos. Blaine had been such an enormous part of Kurt’s life, and not because he was Kurt’s first real boyfriend, or because Kurt had lost his virginity to him. Blaine filled a gap that had been carved out by other people’s bullying and Kurt’s own occasional self-hate. He was the hand Kurt could hold when times got tough, the shoulder he could lean on when he deserved a good cry, the arms that would envelope him when he needed a little extra strength.

Kurt could make it on his own. He knew he could. He’d always known. But for the time that they had been together and loved one another, Blaine made things easier. Better. Even now, when Kurt had consigned the two of them to a future as simply friends, Blaine was one of the best things he had going in his life. He was the smiling face that greeted Kurt every morning and every evening; he was the person Kurt confided in first above everyone else, even his dad; he was Kurt’s “date” to every movie and every musical he wanted to see, every restaurant he wanted to try. They lived their lives like a fabulous old married couple.

Could they actually end up being one?

Could Kurt be okay with giving Blaine a second chance?

Because if Kurt was really honest with himself, as much as he wanted to move on, he couldn’t see a life without Blaine in it in some capacity.

He was afraid that he was beginning to take Blaine for granted without giving much of anything back.

Did Blaine even want to be there, living in the loft with him? Or was he trapped there by guilt, determined to spend a lifetime making amends for what he did?

If Kurt could make Blaine believe that he truly forgave him, would Blaine consider his debt paid and move out?

After last night, Kurt would say that Blaine wanted to be with him – honestly and undoubtedly wanted to be in a relationship with him.

Could they start over fresh?

Was that what Kurt wanted to see happen in the end? The two of them back together?

So many times he had looked at Blaine and said to himself cheater, unforgivable, non-negotiable, end of story. And yet he had dreams of them ending up together, of the wedding he had planned, their honeymoon, the songs they hadn’t gotten the chance to sing, the vacations they never took … the children they said they’d adopt. He thought that maybe he held on to those things so tightly because of the effort he had put into the planning until one day he had a dream out of nowhere of the two of them eloping in a barn, of all places. And it didn’t matter that they were out in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by over a century’s worth of mildew and the stale smell of horses, with no one but their high school friends and family around them to witness. They were together. They were husbands. It wasn’t about getting to the altar; it was about getting there with Blaine. They had moved on in their lives, but they had moved on together.

Because Kurt loved Blaine.

And it scared the living daylights out of him.

It was also the reason things never worked out between Kurt and Adam. Kurt had wanted them to work. Adam was a great guy – sweet, funny, and supportive. But he wasn’t Blaine. And as much as Kurt wanted to be over Blaine, he didn’t want to hurt anyone else during that process.

He didn’t want to use Adam as a stepping stone, especially if he couldn’t commit to the man with his whole heart. It wouldn’t be right. Adam didn’t deserve that.

Maybe this was where it was all leading after all. Maybe the task wasn’t to find a way to live apart. Maybe it was trying to find a way to meld back together, pick up where they left off before the cheating, before the miscommunications, before the heartbreak.

Kurt thought about it and thought about it, knowing that he’d get no rest until he came up with a solution, because it would nag at him, sit in the forefront of his brain and poke at him until he came to a conclusion. Eventually, after sifting through his options and struggling with the pros and cons, one thing became infinitely clear.

He loved Blaine. He wanted to spend his life with Blaine. And he wanted that life to start right away.

Kurt began to get excited. He wanted to race out of bed and tell Blaine that instant, but he couldn’t. He didn’t want to blurt it out, not after the fit he threw this morning. (Wait? Was it still morning? Kurt had no clue …) Doing it that way seemed like emotional manipulation, no matter how genuine his intentions were. No, he had to ease into it, make sure that he and Blaine were on the same page, make Blaine see that things could be the way he had originally wanted them.

Make him see that Kurt wanted them that way, too.

Yes. That was the solution his brain was searching for. He felt calmer now, more relaxed, and as he tried to outline the steps he would take to win Blaine back – first his head, then his heart – he drifted off to sleep.

***

Kurt woke to the sound of footsteps outside his door, not in strides, but creaking in odd spots, as if someone was sneaking past, trying not to disturb him. Blaine. Blaine was home, or out of his room. This was it, Kurt thought. This was his chance.

Even though Kurt felt like he could sleep for about a week, his eyes popped open. He climbed out of bed and got dressed, not really paying attention to what clothes he put on as long as he was covered enough to be seen in public. He went over the ideas he had come up with before he fell asleep, trying to figure out the best way to start. He’d decided that he shouldn’t make it into too big a deal. One of the biggest problems they had in their relationship was that everything became so drama filled, every issue so life and death. Kurt could make them a casual dinner and they could hash things out at the dinner table, or they could talk it out over a bowl of popcorn and an episode of Modern Family. He decided he’d see what kind of mood Blaine was in when he saw him. He’d know by the expression on his face when Blaine looked at him which way to lean.

But when Kurt finally came out, mildly styled (because he couldn’t stand what he looked like when he passed by the mirror and saw his epic bed hair), and dressed, he caught Blaine coming out of his own bedroom. He had changed, too, and Kurt was right. He’d gone down to the gym and showered. His hair was mildly damp from it, a few loose curls hanging over his brow, begging for Kurt to brush them away and leave a kiss in their place.

But Kurt couldn’t help noticing that Blaine was dressed nice.

Dressed to go out, he realized, and his stomach turned to lead.

“Oh. Kurt,” Blaine said, doing up the buttons to his coat. “I didn’t know you were still here.”

That didn’t sound entirely honest, but okay. Maybe what Blaine was saying was that he didn’t expect to see Kurt before he left.

“Well, I am,” Kurt said, flashing what he hoped was an inviting smile. “I fell asleep in the shower and almost washed myself straight down the drain, so I thought I should, you know, maybe get some sleep.” Kurt laughed a little too hard. Blaine smiled, albeit uncomfortably. “Wh-where are you heading off to?”

“Oh …” Blaine looked surprised that Kurt wanted to know. Or maybe he was surprised that Kurt was talking to him after everything that happened. “I just … I need to go buy something.” Blaine nodded like that explained everything, but Kurt stared at him blankly, waiting for more. “For tonight.”

“Oh, really?” Kurt’s voice held the tiniest hint of excitement. Maybe he hadn’t pushed Blaine completely away. Maybe they were on the same page. Maybe they could talk this out, come to a consensus, start over again but go slow this time. Maybe they could learn each other anew. They could leave the angst and the hurt behind them and begin fresh, become Kurt and Blaine version 2.0. The more Kurt thought about that possibility, the more he wanted it. “What’s going on tonight?”

“I have … well, I kind of have a … you know … a … sort of … date.”

Kurt stared blankly. He didn’t quite understand what Blaine was saying. Was Blaine asking him out on a date? Because they always called going out a date, but that wasn’t how this sounded. When Kurt did understand it, he couldn’t believe it. How could Blaine have a date? They’d just slept together … Kurt had no idea how many hours before. He wasn’t that savvy as to what time it was. But in that moment, Kurt felt his hope shatter, the last few hours of negotiating, soul searching, and planning on his part rapidly circling the drain.

“A … a date?” Kurt did everything in his power to keep the words from cracking. He raised his eyebrows, trying to think of who Blaine would have met from the time Kurt hopped into the shower until now. “W-with that guy from the bar? The one who threw the drink in your face?”

“No,” Blaine said, shy smile fighting to merge into a more serious expression. “No, the … the guy I was dancing with. Do you remember him?”

“Yeah.” Kurt had only caught a glimpse of the man while he was dancing, but he could picture him clearly – his luminous skin; his bright, white teeth; his huge biceps; his six pack showing through his clingy shirt. “A date?” Kurt sniffed (bitchier than necessary he’d admit to himself later). “Well, we both know what that means, don’t we?”

Blaine looked flabbergasted and hurt by Kurt’s insinuation. “It … it doesn’t have to mean that,” he countered. “It’s only a first date. Who knows if we’re even compatible … that way.”

Kurt shrugged. “Doesn’t matter if it means that or not. It’s an option.” He sat on the sofa. He reached for a magazine off the coffee table and turned to a random page. He wasn’t trying to act aloof.

He needed something to hold on to.

He needed something to hold him together.

“I … I don’t have to go,” Blaine said softly. “I could cancel.”

Kurt didn’t know if Blaine meant it, that he’d rather hang around with a bitchy Kurt as opposed to an attractive man whom he might have a connection with, or if he was offering out of guilt. Either way, Kurt couldn’t let him give up his date.

Bitterness and disappointment had him acting like a jerk, but he couldn’t be that level of jerk.

“We agreed this was a good thing,” Kurt continued, though when they had agreed on it, Kurt was failing to remember. “Besides, it would be rude to cancel this late anyway. You should totally go.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“Really sure?”

“Really, really sure, Blaine.”

“Alright,” Blaine said, finishing up his coat. “Only if you’re sure.”

“Of course, I’m sure.” (Kurt wasn’t sure) “I’m more than sure. Go. Have fun. But be safe.” Kurt smiled without looking up.

“Alright.” Blaine walked backward toward the door, keeping an eye on Kurt in case he changed his mind. “Goodbye, Kurt.”

“Goodbye, Blaine.” Kurt mindlessly flipped through pages, acting like he was searching for something while he listened to the loft door open, pause, and then slide shut.

Then, Blaine was gone.

And everything started to suck all over again.

The second Kurt heard Blaine’s footsteps fade down the stairs, he got up off the couch and went to the kitchen to make himself dinner, figuring he’d just call it an early night. There was chicken kiev left over from a few nights ago, eggplant lasagna, fettuccine alfredo, all dishes he had chosen with Blaine, prepared with Blaine, and eaten with Blaine. There was nothing in the refrigerator that he didn’t either make with Blaine, buy with Blaine, or buy for Blaine.

He bypassed the fridge entirely and headed straight for the cabinet above, and his long forgotten bottle of tequila.

For the first time in his life, Kurt was going to drink his dinner.

He circled back to the couch, plopped on down, and cracked open his bottle. He figured he’d take a few sips, get a buzz going, and when he felt sedate enough to return to unconsciousness, he’d pour himself back into bed. With any luck, he’d sleep straight through Blaine coming home. Whatever happened on his date, Kurt wouldn’t have the wherewithal to deal with it until morning.

So what if Kurt spent most of his Saturday unconscious? He was an overachiever most of the time. He deserved one throwaway day.

A sip of tequila turned into two sips. Two sips turned into four. Four sips turned into … a whole lot of tequila … but amazingly, none of it was making him sleepy. That was because he kept sabotaging himself. He was trying so hard not to think about Blaine on his date that all he did was think about Blaine on his date. He tried to distract himself with television, but channel after channel torpedoed him with sentimental, romantic movies – The Notebook, Moulin Rouge, Sleepless in Seattle, Love Actually. He almost settled for Titanic, thinking he could find the humor in watching Jack Dawson drown to death, but the second “My Heart Will Go On” began playing, he dissolved into tears. He finally gave up on television and went back to his magazine, but he couldn’t sit still. He changed positions on the couch every three minutes, shifting from cushion to cushion, sitting cross-legged, then with his feet on the floor, with his legs crossed right over left, then left over right, reclining with his feet resting on the coffee table, laying completely flat, until he couldn’t stand it anymore and stood up.

All the while he drank his tequila, hoping that eventually it would work its magic. It did, but not the way Kurt wanted it to. Reaching the half bottle mark became the impetus behind one unfortunate, drunken dial - one that he would later look back on and want to punch himself for, since it contradicted everything he felt about his relationship with this person.

Yup, sulking home alone, wide awake and finally drunk, Kurt did something he wouldn’t be proud of.

Kurt even groaned as he dialed the number, his rational brain reminding him one final time before a swig of tequila rendered it useless for the remainder of the night that most decisions made while drunk are bad ones. Bad, bad, super-bad ones.

But tequila brain convinced Kurt to give it a shot anyway, glossing over all of things he had to lose, like a good friend and his self-respect. (Though, days later, he would send a box of Japanese butt-shaped candy to apologize, along with a card that read, “I’m a big butt, and I cannot lie,” which would be accepted with laughter and a hug.)

The phone rang twice, and a cheerful man answered. “Hey! Kurt! Long time no hear from!”

“I know, I know,” Kurt said, trying not to slur his words. “I’m sorry about that. I should have called earlier.”

“Well, you’re calling now. That’s all that counts,” Adam said. “So, what do I owe this honor?”

“I was just wondering …” Kurt did his best to flirt without sounding as sloshed as he felt “… if maybe you’d like to come over and hang out.” Kurt’s suggestion was met with silence, so he pushed a little harder. “We haven’t hung out in ages. I miss our Downtown Abbey marathons. I think I’m behind by about three seasons.” Kurt attempted to laugh, but with his throat dry and burning, he ended up coughing instead.

“Okay,” Adam said, unsure. “Forgive me if I’m wrong but aren’t you seeing Blaine?”

“No,” Kurt answered quickly, shaking his head for emphasis even if Adam couldn’t see him. “Not together … no … not at all.”

“So, does that mean that you and he …?”

“Yup. Over.” The words caught in Kurt’s throat. “Over and done with for a while now.”

“A-ha.” Adam sounded unconvinced, but slightly amused. “And you sound smashed out of your gourd because …?”

“I’m not!” Kurt turned away from the receiver to cover a hiccup, and Adam chuckled. “Well, maybe I had a sip or two. I just … I wanted to loosen up a little. You know ...”

Adam went quiet, and Kurt, not eager to make a bigger fool of himself then he knew he was making, went quiet, too. He had lobbed this ball – this deflated, pathetic ball – into Adam’s court. He had to wait and see what Adam would do with it.

“Kurt, I know what you’re doing.”

“What? What am I doing?”

“I told you before, I don’t want to be your rebound. And I definitely don’t want to be your revenge fuck. I care about you too much.”

“You won’t be my rebound, or my revenge fuck,” Kurt promised, hating the way his voice sounded needy and desperate. “I swear.”

“Kurt, I will come over there this instant and make love to you on every hard surface in your loft if you can tell me right now that you are not in love with your ex.”

“I …” Kurt whimpered at the visual of Adam – strong and muscular, but also sweet and tender Adam – making love to him on the floor, against the wall, in his bed, on the sofa (where Blaine would catch them whenever he came back). And he wanted it. He wanted slow, romantic, and even dirty sex all over the loft.

But he wanted it with Blaine.

Kurt couldn’t have that, and probably wouldn’t have that at this point. Blaine was moving on. Didn’t that mean that he should move on, too?

He thought he had, but now he wasn’t so sure.

“I’m … I’m not in love with him,” Kurt persisted. “I …” But he couldn’t get rid of the stammer in his voice, and that had nothing to do with the tequila. It had to do with him insisting on something that his brain and body knew wasn’t true.

“You don’t sound all that convincing, love.”

Kurt sighed. He wanted to put forth a better argument. He wanted to convince Adam, but more than that, he wanted to convince himself. But he couldn’t, and he never felt lower in his life.

“Kurt, you’re a great guy. An amazing guy. Any man would be more than lucky to have you, and I hope I get to be that man one day. So, if we get together, I want it to last. But if I come over now, I don’t think we’ll ever have a chance.”

“You’re … right. I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right,” Adam said, sighing like he had hoped for one more objection on Kurt’s part, one more insistence that things were over between him and Blaine. All Adam needed was one more and he’d be on the subway. But Kurt didn’t. “I think it’s safe to say that we’ve all been there. Just … call me when you’re certain this is what you want.”

“Yeah,” Kurt agreed. “Yeah, okay.”

“Goodbye, Kurt.”

“Goodbye, Adam.” Kurt hung up. He put his phone on the coffee table and sat in silence, shame and guilt shoving jealousy over to get a seat at the dysfunctional dinner table.

Kurt wondered how Blaine’s date was going. What were they talking about? What were they doing? What did they have for dinner? (He assumed they’d be eating dinner. It was already – Jesus Christ! Ten o’clock!?) Did they stay in, or did they go out to a movie? Or more drinking and dancing? Did they kiss? And if they did, did Blaine kiss him first? Were they actually having sex? Sex on the first date wasn’t Blaine’s style … except for the time he cheated. But, for argument’s sake, if they were having sex, which Kurt highly doubted, he wondered (selfishly, but still) would Blaine think about him at all?

That was one question that Kurt had had about the night Blaine cheated that he’d never had the courage to ask. Was Blaine thinking about Kurt when he was sleeping with that rando guy from Facebook? Did any thoughts of Kurt pop into Blaine’s head? Did Blaine erase him completely … or had he been there all the time? Was thinking about Kurt, fantasizing about him, the only way Blaine could have sex with someone he didn’t even know? Or was the opposite true?

Thinking about it brought him back to the one day he kept trying to forget but couldn’t. Except this time Kurt had seen the guy. This time he had a frame of reference that made this nightmare more vivid. When he closed his eyes, he saw them together, peeling off each other’s clothes, Blaine’s hands running down his skin, his mouth everywhere, his tongue licking, lapping, caressing …

Kurt knew how it felt, how every single one of Blaine’s kisses felt, every single one of his touches. He felt them on his skin now, remnants from last night and early this morning blazing hot to torment him.

And Kurt couldn’t move.

So Kurt sat on the sofa, staring at the loft door, not because he was necessarily waiting for Blaine to come home, but because time had stopped in Kurt’s head. He got so lost in thinking, visualizing, feeling, and then hating himself, that night became day before Kurt had consciously blinked his eyes.

When he saw Blaine prying the loft door open, trying to do it quietly so he could sneak through, Kurt knew. He just knew. And all of those touches became unbearable, because they didn’t just belong to him. Someone else had them, too.

But Kurt couldn’t blame Blaine.

This was Kurt’s idea.

Kurt had said it was the right thing for both of them. Kurt had said it, and Blaine had agreed. They both agreed, and now Blaine was acting on it. He was doing what Kurt had said he wanted, what Kurt had tried to get him to do the night before.

What Kurt thought he needed in order to get closure.

But it didn’t feel that way anymore.

He didn’t have closure. He had a broken heart.

#klaine fanfiction #klaine fic #frankie writes #klaine

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hawkland · 3 years ago

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Dear RarePair Creator

Thank you for offering one of my requests! I’m very excited to see what you will create, no matter which of my requested ships you go for. It’s all under the cut.

General Likes:

Vacation/travel stories. Being unable to travel this past year+ thanks to covid-19 has me desperate to explore and live vicariously through my favorite characters! So I’d love a story involving travel to somewhere new (to them). It could be a romantic getaway/honeymoon trip to somewhere special - and I love it when an author “takes me” to a favorite city/place of their own. Or two friends just going on an escapade together, maybe one sensing the other needs some time away from a stressful situation or workplace.

Smutty likes: I love extended kissing scenes, frottage, light restraint play, sharing-one-bed-for-~reasons~-ooops-how-did-we-wake-up-cuddling, bathing/caretaking an injured partner-turns-erotic, desperate/reunion sex.

Canon-divergent AUs - I’m always good with fix-its, shifts in canon that only change one thing and see what happens next or instead.

Cooking & food as an act of caretaking/showing affection - I love it when a character tries to prepare a favorite meal for their loved one (whether they succeed or not!) Food as a symbol of love or desire, meals as a time for opening up/having heartfelt discussions, etc.

Hurt/comfort scenarios - caretaking, desperately trying to save a loved one, confessions brought on by altered states/fear of imminent death...love them all!

Wingfic - for any of my angel ships and requests. Love stories and art involving their wings - as erogenous zones, needing TLC after an injury or molting.

Do Not Wants:

A/B/O dynamics, mating heats. (I do like Supernatural fics that explore Castiel and the angels having bird-like behaviors and instincts, however.)

animal abuse/death

anything related to pregnancy/childbirth/kidfic

formalized BDSM relationships

scat/watersports

unrequested alternative-universe scenarios such as high school/mundane/genderswap/coffee shop/fantasy/etc.

Completely sad endings/permanent character death or injury that isn’t part of canon

Rape/non-con between requested characters. Dubious consent is fine in situations like magic spells/possession/fuck-or-die, however.

SUPERNATURAL

Well, I’m a hopeless Casgirl if it’s not obvious from my requests. I just want my angel to be happy and get some of the love and affection he deserves.

Castiel/Indra (Supernatural) - This is kind of a silly one, but Indra the day-drinking playground guard was one of my favorite one-off angel characters. Poor guy stuck by his lonesome as Heaven is failing and not doing a good job of getting drunk. I kind of like the idea of Cas stopping by every once in a while just to talk to him, maybe try to get some gossip on Heaven but also simply for the company. Heck, maybe Cas drags him away for a little gay angel adventure! To show him he can have some fun on Earth too, beyond the play set (though, some kinky fun on the ladders and slide wouldn’t be a bad idea either.)

Castiel/Mick Davies (Supernatural) Castiel/Mick Davies/Dean Winchester (Supernatural)

Cas and Mick absolutely deserved at least a one-off hot sex fling. Or even something more than that? I’d love to see them working some kind of case together and Mick slowly getting Cas to open up and trust him. Give me an AU where Mick doesn’t die, or perhaps Cas visiting him in Heaven? (Could be post-canon when Jack has brought back Cas to help him, but before Dean dies?)

For the threesome, would love Mick somehow working on getting Dean to admit his feelings for Cas by setting up a situation for them to need to have sex all together. Or a fuck-or-die situation where Mick is perfectly happy to be in the middle of a Dean & Cas sandwich while Dean is freaking out over the whole thing.

Castiel/Mary Winchester (Supernatural) - watching season 12 gave me weird Mary/Cas vibes at times, I don’t even know. But maybe it’s something about them both being “displaced” individuals - Cas always struggling to understand human behavior and emotions, Mary struggling to figure out the modern world and how to be a mother to two now grown men. I’d enjoy something exploring that, or seeking mutual comfort during the time when Dean & Sam are in prison and seemingly lost to them.

Castiel/Benny Lafitte/Dean Winchester (Supernatural) - Can’t go wrong with Purgatory threesome smut, especially if there’s some jealousy and one-upmanship between Cas and Benny over Dean. It could have been fun seeing them interact post-Purgatory, too, maybe in an AU where Benny doesn’t end up dying/returning to Purgatory. Where it’s taken a long time for Cas to fully warm up to the vampire but eventually they find they have a lot in common besides loving Dean. (Both rejecting, to a large extent, who they are supposed to be as angel and vampire and instead choosing human connection?)

Anael/Castiel (Supernatural) - I like these two as casual (fallen) angel friends/fuck buddies. Just the idea that Cas has this one angel friend who is off doing her own thing, like he is, and they may not see eye-to-eye but they have a respect for each other’s choices and ways of doing things. So I’d love a story where they’re maybe working some kind of case/investigation together and, oh yeah, just happen to have sex because they’re both lonely and enjoy the connection even if it isn’t anything super serious. Alternatively, I wouldn’t mind something angsty set post 15x03 in the divorce arc—Cas goes to Anael when he’s at his lowest, maybe even hopeful that somehow she can help get Jack back? Or ease his pain? And it ends up turning into physical/sexual comfort.

Castiel/Rowena MacLeod/Sam Winchester (Supernatural) - I love the chaos twins Cas & Sam fucking around and finding out! And maybe needing Rowena to help them get out of some stupid bad sex/magic bind they’ve gotten themselves into. Or, Rowena and Sam are trying to work a spell together but they need a “special ingredient” that only an angel can provide...good thing they have their good buddy Cas around to help out...

CROSSOVER FANDOMS

Castiel (Supernatural TV)/Amenadiel (Lucifer Netflix)

This is one ship where I wouldn’t mind some bonding over being dads/kidfic surrounding Cas being Jack’s dad and Amenadiel being Charlie’s dad? Like, maybe they actually bond/work together as some dark force/being is crossing dimensions to kill nephilim? Otherwise any kind of situation where one gets transported to the other’s universe and is shocked by how different it is, and they grow closer while working to sort things out.

Castiel (Supernatural TV)/Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer Netflix)

Cas gets stuck in Lucifer’s world and can’t believe this version of Luci is actually...kind of nice? Understanding of why Cas didn’t want to just be a soldier for Heaven but found his own way with humanity?

Castiel (Supernatural TV)/Dean Winchester (Supernatural TV)/Lucifer (Lucifer Netflix)

More universe hopping shenanigans. Maybe Cas & Dean are tying to summon their Lucifer to trap him (or to get something they need for a spell to locate/save Jack from something)...and they end up with this other Lucifer instead? And he’s so charming and different they just can’t resist a little threesome fun. Or maybe Lucifer orchestrates to get Cas & Dean together via a threesome when he sees how much they’re pining for each other.

LAW & ORDER: SVU

John Munch/Odafin “Fin” Tutuola

Munch/Fin is one of my eternal OTPs so I’m forever happy to see something new featuring them! I’m always good for procedural/case-fics where they get together, or their established relationship is/puts them in danger. And this is one request where I’d love to read some AU-Genre or setting shift, reimagining them in some other situation besides police work. I’ve always loved the idea of John hosting a conspiracy/weird news radio show or podcast, and Fin as someone completely skeptical but who gets wrapped up in one of John’s mysteries. Or John as the owner of a bar somewhere that Fin is one of his regulars, and over time their friendship unexpectedly develops/deepens into something more.

THE POLICE

Stewart Copeland/Sting (The Police) Stewart Copeland/Sting/Andy Summers (The Police)

Yeah I’ll always request these ships even though I know it’s a long shot to find anyone else as obsessed about them as I am. Really anything at all whatsoever would make me happy for Sting/Stewart or S/S/A: Reunion Tour-era fic, early punk days before they grew successful, soulmate AUs… (soulmate trio, anyone?)

I’d also love a spooky story where they’re on tour/on the road somewhere and end up in a haunted hotel. Or their tour bus/van breaks down in the middle of nowhere and they have to seek shelter in an abandoned house or farm or something…and supernatural weirdness ends up affecting them or bringing them together.

HOMICIDE: LIFE ON THE STREET

Kay Howard/John Munch (Homicide: Life on the Street)

Kay/John is another one of my longtime comfort OTPs; I just love them both so much and the fun contrast they present. Honestly H:LOTS is one of my all-time favorite television series, period, and I’m always happy to see more fic for it! I’d love any kind of case-fic/action-type scenario where one or both of them is injured or in danger. The stress of the situation leads to a confession of or acting on feelings. Another idea would be a post-series fic where perhaps Kay comes to New York, needing John’s help to solve an old cold case (or one that’s crossed state lines to NY). Now that they’re no longer working together they have a chance to explore feelings like they never had before?

This is a ship where I’d also definitely love that food-as-comfort trope, too: I tend to see Munch as someone who has a secret knack for being a good cook, so maybe he makes something special for Kay when she’s sick/recovering from something and it reveals a side of John she never knew or saw before.

#dear author #dear creator #rarepairs exchange

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andrewdburton · 5 years ago

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Should I stay or should I go? Wrestling with the decision to quit a career

J.D.'s note: In the olden days at Get Rich Slowly, I shared reader stories every Sunday. I haven't done that since I re-purchased the site because nobody sends them to me anymore. But earlier this year, Mike did. I love it. I hope you will too.

Earlier this year, I sent my wife a text message: “On a scale of 1 to 10, how freaked out would you be if I quit my job this afternoon?”

My wife and I had only been married a short while, but she'd known since our second date that I didn't plan to work in my traditional job until normal retirement age. She also knew that I hadn't been very happy at work in recent months.

We're very compatible financially — both savers raised in working-class families that didn't always have a lot. We make a point of having what we like to call “Fun Family Finance Day” from time to time. On Fun Family Finance Day, we do everything from competitively checking our credit scores to discussing questions that get at the root of our money mindsets to help us create our goals.

But this question wasn't part of the plan. Not then.

And it was never on any of the lists of questions that we'd discussed with each other. It was like a pop quiz, a pothole in the smoothest relationship road I'd ever traveled…and I was the one putting it there.

Dreams Remain Dreams Without Doing

My wife and I rarely argue, but when we do it's usually about food. It's the kitchen and the grocery store that are our battleground. Our finances are fine. Thankfully, when you're confident in the life you've created and the person you chose to build it with, it's a lot easier to be honest about what's on your mind.

That still doesn't always mean you get the answer you want. Or the answer you were expecting. She responded: “Wait what. Kinda. What would you do?”

A completely reasonable and fair question. Not to mention one that I'd probably have to get comfortable answering from a lot more people.

I think my immediate reaction was: We talk about this stuff all the time, where is my, “No worries baby, YOLO!”? (I must have watched too many romcoms back before we cut cable from our lives.)

Being a grownup, it turns out, is actually really hard sometimes. I was about to learn that talking about something, and actually doing it, are a world apart.

Life is full of dreamers and doers. Sometimes those two personalities cross over. But there are plenty of people who go through life talking about so many things they'll never have the courage to try — or the discipline and determination to follow through with.

Which person was I? The dreamer? The doer? Or that fortunate combination of both?

Standing on the Ledge

There's a quote perched atop my bucket list of long-term goals:

“At some point, you will need to take a long look in the mirror and ask yourself not just if this is something you wanted to do at one point, but if this is something you will want to have done.”

Words are meaningless without action. It was time for me to take that long look in the mirror. I thought back to one of the questions that my wife and I had previously discussed: What does money mean to you? To me, once I grew out of the “stuff accumulation” phase of my early- to mid-20s, my answer had always been freedom. Money meant freedom. To my wife, the answer was security. Money meant security.

You can probably see how freedom can conflict with security. That was the case here. Not only that, but I was asking to change the perfect plan, one that she was comfortable with and excited about.

That's not one, but two shots against financial security. If I'd thought more about our financial blueprints and how they differ, I might have seen this coming from a mile away!

As I was standing on that ledge, about to quit my job, thoughts started to race through my mind. What did I actually have to lose if made the leap? Lots.

A happy relationship and marriage.

A secure job with solid income, not to mention a sixteen year investment in my career.

Great benefits, including lots of time off, health insurance, 401(k) — even a pension.

The ability to afford anything at any time without any real worry. (Our finances were already on autopilot.)

My work friends and work prestige.

The general day-to-day purpose of a job.

The opportunity to create generational wealth. If we worked until 65, the power of compounding would likely make us ridiculously wealthy.

Today at Get Rich Slowly, let's perform a little exercise. Come stand in my shoes for a minute, won't you? Join me on the ledge. Do you see the beautiful view? The endless opportunity? The excitement that's felt only at the beginning of a grand adventure, an adventure where anything is possible?

Or do you get a queasy feeling in your stomach? Do you feel like you've lost your balance, like you're on the edge of some great catastrophe? Do you see a frightening fall from grace? Does it make you want to back away immediately?

Let's go back to what it felt like to make this decision…

My Situation

I'm 38 years old. I've worked for the same company since I was 22. Corporate insurance is all I know. I'm well paid. I work from home for a solid company with good benefits, plenty of time off, and I really enjoy most of the people I work for and with.

It's the definition of stability — a solid guardrail protecting me from what lies over the ledge. So what's the problem?

A year ago, I took a new position that seemed like a great opportunity. Only it wasn't. The first misstep of my career. A year in, that spot has killed my enthusiasm and engagement. For the first time at work, I'm struggling to get things done.

As an extrovert that derives meaning from helping others, this feels like a prison. My job isn't hard because it's stressful. It's hard because it's boring me to death! And what are any of us doing thinking about personal finance and early retirement if we aren't trying to make better use of our limited time on this planet?

There's a project looming that would require some weekend work once in a while for the foreseeable future, I've avoided it in the past, but my luck is running out. My team — and, more importantly, my position — need to take it on. I understand completely. I just don't want to do it.

At this point in life, my time is way more important to me than money. The weekends and vacations are what I live for. Adventures in the mountains with my friends, quality time with my wife, our dog, and our families – that's what makes me feel alive.

Insurance? Meh.

No little kid ever said they wanted to work for an insurance company and play with spreadsheets and Powerpoint presentations when they grow up. I wanted to be a baseball player, a sports writer, even a professional forklift driver. (Because what's more badass than a forklift when you're a little kid and your dad works at a marina?)

A Glimpse of the Other Side

My wife and I just got back from a delayed honeymoon to Alaska. To say it was incredible would be an understatement. Denali. Kenai. Majestic train rides. Fjords. Glaciers. Bears. Bald eagles. Whales. Hikes.

Life slowed down.

I somehow managed to read five books while doing so many other amazing things. During our more than two weeks off, I got to see what my mind was capable of when it wasn't drowning in useless information and mundane tasks that consume my braindwidth.

We talked to people who had ended up in this wild place through a history of taking risks. Parents that had hitchhiked cross-country and ended up there back in the 70s. Can you imagine? Where we live, a fair number of people never leave their town or state!

Before the trip, I had tried to apply for a few positions. For whatever reason, it just didn't work out. I came home from an amazing glimpse into what life could be to a job that seemed like the polar opposite. (Isn't that every vacation though?) I've felt like a square peg trying to fit in a round hole for a while now. Maybe normal life just isn't for me anymore. Maybe I need something just a little less ordinary.

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Should I Stay or Should I Go?

I've been practicing the classic tenets of personal finance since I was in my mid- to late-20s. I found an awesome woman in my mid-30s who just happens to be down with this lifestyle as well. We're probably two to three years short of where we want to be based on our master plan of a fully-paid house and a really comfortable number in invested assets.

We'd likely fall somewhere between Agency and Security on the stages of financial freedom.

I know good jobs don't grow on trees, especially where we live. The seasons of the economy are always shifting and there's a chill in the air. Economic winter can't be too far off. My wife still has a solid job, and we live a pretty simple life — albeit in an expensive part of the country. Our main splurge is travel, but otherwise we live well below our means.

All of this knowledge and preparation comes with a cost. Having options can be a burden too, because then you're responsible for making hard decisions. And you're responsible for the outcomes of those choices.

What other options are there?

Be a crappy employee/teammate, and still get paid? Plenty of people have played that game. Get a surgery or two, go out on leave, let performance management run its course for however long that takes, and keep cashing checks the whole time. I don't think I have it in me to put people I respect through that. It's just not who I am.

I work from home, and I still can't bring myself to abandon my laptop. What if someone needs me?

Am I giving up too soon? The finish line seems just around the corner — somehow so close yet so far away.

Should I just suck it up and sell a little more of my soul? Slump my shoulders a little bit more as I trade another piece of myself for money I don't need to buy things I don't want?

As I go back and forth, sometimes I briefly wish I'd never found the personal-finance community. Like Neo in The Matrix, why'd I have to take the damn red pill? Being a mindless consumer wasn't so bad. I would have invested 6-10% in my 401(k) with a traditional pension on top of it.

Forty years on autopilot would have produced a comfortable life of work, nice things — and maybe some time in old age to relax and travel.

Facing Freedom

The whole point of everything I've done since I started this journey was to be in control of my own life. To not be owned by things or circumstances. To have options. Freedom of choice. F-U money.

I have the corporate battle scars and survivor's guilt to understand why that's important.

I've sat on the phone while I heard that my old department was closing down. The sadness and tears in the room. Everyone that had taken me in, given me my chance, taught me the job…basically gone, casualties of a business decision.

I've seen people get laid off who are petrified because they don't know how they'll pay their bills in a couple of weeks. People will be okay eventually though, right?

What about my friend who was struggling last year and left the company? He committed suicide a few months later. Maybe everyone won't be okay eventually. Depression runs in my family. Am I really built for this? That thought is haunting.

It's been said that one of the hardest decisions you'll ever make in life is whether to walk away or try harder. Every bone in my body tells me it's time to walk away, to bet on myself.

The End?

About six months after the text exchange that blindsided my wife, with her support, I hit send on the scariest, most exciting and important one-line email of my professional career. It would also signify the unofficial end of it: “I will be resigning from my position effective Wednesday, June 26th.”

To combine a few lines from my favorite movie, The Shawshank Redemption, some birds just weren't meant to be caged. It's time to get busy living, or get busy dying.

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