#also literally just realized how messy the original was 😭

[nomadic-star]

OKAY. I JUST HAD TO REDRAW THIS IMAGE I MADE OVER A YEAR AGO!!! Siblings amirite

[youredreamingofroo]

3 and 7 for rooboo pls. pride asks. u know. 🙂↕️

hiiii Dejaaaa... *tucks hair behind ear* KSJHDKJ

Questions from: Pride Ask Game

3, How did your oc discover themself? Did something cause them to question, or did they always know?

I think Roo naturally slipped into homosexuality... I don't quite know how to explain it, but he attempted to embrace his sexuality when he was 16, and has been on a rocky adventure since then. Roo probably had a bunch of crushes on guys as a kid (like cartoon characters), and somewhere between 15-16 he was like,,, oh. So I'm. Gay?? And he's just always had this tendency to lean towards men/masc people. Roo's always been... pretty oblivious even to himself and his sexuality, so he never really questioned it, he just felt like it was normal to like the same sex, much more than the opposite sex (or in his case, literally never having feelings for the opposite sex), and it was kind of a sexuality-shock when he got older, realizing that it's not normal (to clarify: I mean how heterosexuality is like the "norm," idk how to explain it but i think you get what i mean,,,), and that not everybody is solely attracted to the same sex 😭

7, Is there something that could cause your oc to question their identity? What?

Okay, originally I was gonna answer this for Roo on Fae's pride asks, but I swapped it to Leo, so here's the answer I did and saved for Roo!

Yes- being """genderfluid""" (using this lightly as I am a slight believer in Roo also not knowing his gender identity along with me LMAO), Roo will often experience,,, many little and big things that will make him wonder if he really does like being a man, or if he really does like being fluid, or if he even wants to lean on either the fem/masc side. It's kind of a messy and inconsistent list of "whatever makes him waver at the moment is what makes him question his identity"

[chryzure-archive]

So I just now realized that even tho I don’t have a tumblr blog I can still send asks… my brain activity has truly been hitting a plateau lately 😭 ANYWAYS I saw that you finished TBONA… and I need to hear all of your thoughts!! What pissed you off the most? What would you have changed/done differently? What was one thing Stephanie did right (or could’ve done right, if she went a different direction?)… basically, I wanna hear you rant and give me all the deets :3 - Kai

OMG, KAI, HIIII, HOW HAVE YOU BEEN??? also, NO WORRIES, i didn’t realize you could do that either <//3

oh god…. okay, so. i think most, above all else, was the attempt to make jacks and evangeline… sexually involved with each other? not anything, like, insane, but it’s way too close for comfort—and not only is the age difference thing really weird (i’ll get into that), but the fact that the timing is… rlly bad. like, both characters are under the influence of a magical stone at one point, which makes all their interactions suspect, and the scene where she had literally been flogged and jacks was patching her up turned??? into something weirdly sexually-charged??? disgusting, disgusting, disgusting. that’s a major NO. YOU DON’T FUCKING TALK ABOUT HIM TOUCHING HER WHEN HE’S TRYING TO MEND WOUNDS. WHAT THE FUCK????

i mean, on that topic, forget jacks being like jacks at all. he was more in-character in once upon a broken heart, and he was already horrifically out of character in that one. oh, uh, we find out his backstory and it’s the lamest backstory ever? turns out he was “the archer” in the ballad of the archer and the fox and that’s how he got his cursed kiss (even though that was literally jst part of him being a fate…. let’s not think about how stephanie fucking mauled the concept of fates in this book, btw. she’s acting like they should have humanity when they shouldn’t. we just turned them into super powered humans for this book ://)

apparently jacks is from the magnificent north, which makes no goddamn sense given the original trilogy’s backgrounds <333 but whatever, we have to make sacrifices (i’m literally begging her not to lmao)

then there’s the writing quality, which took a massive downturn. evangeline is the most childish protagonist i’ve read in a while. like, i know i ranted about anatomy and how messy that plot + protagonist was, but guess what? it’s much better than whatever the fuck that just was. whenever she would talk about her ideas of love (“love is a battlefield, love is the greatest force in the world”) i was like…. okay, seventeen year old. you got it. go back to math class.

like…. man, the romance is the cheapest thing i’ve ever read. every moment attempting to be romantic is so forced that it comes out constipated, add to the fact that there’s no chemistry (because stephanie didn’t bother to write characters with depth), and none of the emotional moments pay off. OH MY GOD, ALSO, SO MANY SCENES WERE IN THAT BOOK SO THAT EVANGELINE OR JACKS COULD BE JEALOUS??? LIKE THERE’S NO POINT TO THE BOOK FOR THEM. the checkers scene i mentioned is PURELY written for jacks to flirt with someone else in front of evangeline. again, this is super immature, childish, sophomoric writing and i’m so ???? at everyone saying this is the most romantic book they’ve read. i truly don’t think stephanie understands love at a base level.

(also, i really was struck by how young evangeline was. i feel like if i were her older sister, i’d be begging her to stop trying to get with another man and to spend time single so she can figure herself out. this girl is THE definition of “boy-crazy” and it’s kinda… ew.) also, the jealousy scenes?? REEKING with “i’m not like most girls”—there are no other important female characters, except lala. every other important female character is either someone to her jealous of or a throwaway line. so, uh, feminist win, i guess ://

it’s mostly upsetting bc i recently read this beautiful novel about love and sacrifice and the depths of it can truly be salvation—only for stephanie to say the same thing, but have it ring hollow bc she didn’t bother to add any of that book for further depth. fucking hell.

god, what would i have done differently? i would’ve scrapped this entire fucking series and rewrote it from the ground up and given it a similar vibe to the original trilogy. once again: the world building in this new series is piss-poor. it has no feeling of magic, despite magic being present. it doesn’t feel like the same characters from the original trilogy, nor does it feel like it could possibly be a spin-off.

in addition to that, i’d just write a completely different plot. this one is pointless. it’s stupid. there are no personal stakes to it. OH, THAT’S ANOTHER THING—FOR THIS BOOK HAVING A DEATH CURSE AND A THREAT AGAINST THE ENTIRE MAGNIFICENT NORTH, THERE IS NO FEELING OF TENSION OR FEAR. there is no action to this book except in the first 100 pages. we spend a solid other 100 pages in jacks’s “home” from when he was human (highly disappointed in the jacks human backstory btw, so jst know that i’m completely scrapping it and rewriting it because… how fucking dumb.)

so, basically, i’d, uhhh, fix it. make the romance have meaning. give it some deeper meaning in terms of how humanity can connect with it. make it feel more put together—give it depth. ((i know i already said this, but wow, my chrysijacks fic is…. way better already. it’s got a theme and a solid plot and a good fucking slowburn/getting back together plot. wow.))

…. also, okay. i know i said the writing quality was lower, but when i say it was lower, i mean lower. it feels very rushed. there’s no attempt to truly get you to feel, see, understand a scene. there’s no attempt to make an emotional moment stronger. you don’t need to say “his lips tasted like heaven and hell” when you can say that it stole your breath away or whatever (although he didn’t kiss her…. OKAY, WAIT, THAT’S MY LEAST FAVORITE PART OF THE BOOK. WHEN HE LICKED HER GODDAMN LIPS. WHAT??? THAT’S NOT HOT, THAT’S DISGUSTING. GET YOUR DISGUSTING TONGUE AWAY FROM MY MOUTH.) idk, jst reading higher quality books of late has really taught me of when less is more and how to write something with emotional depth. fucking hell. wow. that was really terrible.

truthfully, i don’t think anything was really done properly. it felt like a first draft, at best. the only saving grace of this book is the vampire ex-boyfriend (turned into a vampire in the last book). that man has no goddamn clue what’s going on at all times and he’s so annoying and self-centered. basically, he was the only fun part of this book. and, god. you have to have fun in your novel if you’re going for a whimsical type of fairy tale.

yeahhhh, uh. it was truly one of the worst books i’ve read this year. i think it’s actually the worst book thus far, bc i gave it two stars in my reading journal. everything else has gotten 4-5 stars primarily (the occasional 3 star)—bc i’m good at telling when is going to be good or bad lol.

[oflgtfol]

anti-Anti Venom anon here again, I’m toiling w ideas now: you mentioned the symbiote always having sentience but the sentience being dormant or like the symbiote is unconscious, what if they’re just heavily sedated??? Every other host of the anti Venom symbiote is just told that they’re not sentient, so they don’t question it, they don’t reach out because they think they don’t need to? So the symbiote stays sleeping. But once a curious host TRIES to make contact and communicate, they wake up??

I MEAN the sedation to the point of being unconscious is kinda the whole deal with venom symbiote in venom 2011 though 😭 which i will forever be upset about

so this whole situation is complicated by the way anti-venom came about in canon. it’s introduced as being some sort of residue left behind by venom symbiote in its hosts even when no longer bonded. IN PARTICULAR, the original anti-venom host is eddie. it only “comes to life” after eddie is magically healed by that one guy

so anti-venom specifically comes about with eddie, who is at like his lowest point, having shunned venom and the venom symbiote. this anger towards venom symbiote is like, inherent to anti-venom, it's literally in the name, he is literally anti-venom. and of course it's a play on words because anti-venom has healing powers due to that magical guy, but still, like he is quite literally not only a narrative antithesis to venom, but he is also like super mad in an unhealthy way at venom

so in the framing of anti-venom where it’s another SYMBIOTE born out of venom symbiote’s ~residue~, then i can see why eddie, specifically, either wouldn’t REALIZE that the symbiote is sentient, or would be in such an angry fucked up state of mind where he didn't CARE. he’s so mad at venom symbiote that he hates all symbiotes and so he seizes control for himself, carries out yet another revenge quest, doesn't even spare a thought for even the potential that anti-venom is a symbiote with its own mind as well

but i’m really unhappy with this whole arc in the comics, i find eddie’s sudden tailspin towards hating venom really out of nowhere and out of character. don't get me wrong, the (haha) venomous hatred towards someone he feels victimized by is 100% in character, but compare this to the 80s and 90s comics where eddie and symby are AT THE VERY LEAST, IN THE MOST NO HOMO WAY EVER, best fucking friends forever, if not outright lovers, its just so.... strange to put it lightly. where did this hatred towards symby come from? all the comics that lead up to this change in dynamic only ever justify it by having the symbiote act out of character as well, as in, weirdly fucking demonic and abusive, when again that's not how it was in the original comics, and so i’m inclined to get to the root of the problem and just take everything derivative of the first majorly OOC comics with a grain of salt. and so i’m unhappy with the whole weird cancer arc, the whole weird violent breakup (theoretically i'm down for messy drama like that, but again the way it all went down all originated with an OOC mess so i cant bring myself to enthusiastically enjoy it), and ultimately anti-venom as well

SO BACK TO THE MAIN POINT OF THIS ASK: i can see why in this context eddie would treat anti-venom, as a symbiote, like this. but i hate the whole way that situation came about, so i dislike it, and i dislike anti-venom. so my ideal way to warp anti-venom into something that’s not just a cycle of abuse that never should have happened if the root comics hadn't gone off the rails, is to keep it as just this “residue” thing. like quite literally just residue. symby leaves its cells behind, enough to maybe mimic another symbiote, but they're just mindless cells. not an actual symbiote, because there's not enough cells to create a clone or offspring. just, mindless cells. like leaving a few strands of hair behind in a room - part of you, part of your appearance, but not like, anything resembling another person. but in doing so i think this would majorly nerf anti-venom, since it would have venom's powers but just severely weakened due to not being an actual symbiote of its own but just residual cells. unless i guess we go back to the magical healing guy and say that he granted these leftover cells with like extra power enough to make anti-venom as formidable as it is in canon. (but in canon this magical stuff also makes anti-venom's powers like, thematically opposite of venom's, so like, idfk. lmao)

and see it’s SO CLOSE to actually BEING that interpretation in canon. it’s just that they STILL DESCRIBE IT as another symbiote. which gives this “mindless leftovers” concept some really bad implications, ie the ones i complained about before! ALL they had to do was not describe it as another symbiote and the concept of anti-venom would be totally a-okay in my mind (or as a-okay as i could be given that it's derived from the whole cancer arc that i despise)

anyway this is all really long and barely related to your point in the end so TL;DR, the only way i can really see anti-venom, as an actual symbiote, being in some sort of unconscious state is because eddie specifically repressed it while he was doing all the rage revenge healing killing false prophet things. which is the only way i can make sense of canon but i dislike it because 1. i'm so sick of seeing symbiotes being mistreated goddamnit and 2. banks on this whole weird arc of eddie's that imo shouldn't have come about, at least not in the way it did in canon

[kyunsies]

Oh Mädch darling, the loneliness.. I'm 24 now, and I've felt that way too! It's so hard sometimes! Despite having many people I was friendly with and a handful of close friends that I did things with often, and despite being extremely busy (like four performances in one week, with two tests and a festival coming up), I frequently felt very lonely while I was in school. There's a certain amount of isolation that goes on in school simply because you've got work to do!! And more often than not you have to be alone to do it! And for you, doing all that plus the whole.. global pandemic situation. It's rough.

Handling my loneliness and general mental health has gotten a easier since I graduated, but my life has also changed quite a bit since then - I'm lonely still, but I'm doing things I like to do, I engage in content I enjoy, and I talk to both of my sisters literally all the time. I don't have homework or deadlines, I'm not so busy, and I have time to relax.

There are definitely weeks (like two weeks ago I think it was) where everything is WRONG and I'm LONELY and I cry for multiple hours about it, but I talk to my sister, and listen to good music, and dance a little. I'll clean my room (because you know it's gotten messy while I've spent a week crying), and make my bed, do laundry, and maybe make a goofy edit of some kpop boys, while listening to my favorite songs, and things are more or less okay.

So I don't know if I can say being deeply lonely is 'normal' but it's definitely something people feel. I'm still young, and my sister would definitely have more things to say (she's brilliant and so so smart when it comes to people), but you kinda just gotta ride it out, and cry a little.

There's a video of a guy with captions in this somewhat psychedelic font and he says "take it easy. but take it!" So like, be kind and forgiving to yourself, but don't stop interacting with the world and your friends, and don't forget to get things done!

Anyway this is kinda long (is that just the norm for me now? 😅) but I just wanted to tell you that I'm rooting for you! I'm always here, and available to chat. Even if it feels awkward, you can reach out to me. 🥰🥰

You always make me feel so loved and warm, and I want you to feel the same! I hope you have a restful weekend!! Love you 💖💖💖 dkbtho

hey angel <3 sorry i’m getting back to this a little late 😭 i was watching yt and i literally fell asleep for a good 45 mins NDNJD that just shows u how tired i was from my clinical rotation today :’) right before bed too !!! lol

i turn 23 in december and just like, the older i become the more i realize this? not a lot of ppl know my whole uni sorry but let’s just say i’m not with my original nursing class that i originally started out with, and this year more than ever, being with no roommate for the first time and not playing my sport with my team this year, i realize that with the class that i’m in right now ….. i really just don’t click with anyone? i feel so disconnected like even tho everyone is nice to me and i ram just a friendly person in general, i feel so out of place and like, i don’t have that “rice or die” friend group :/ and i understand what you mean like especially now that i’m in my last year of nursing and i leave campus literally 2 times a week for clinical rotations, i have a ton of work on my plate …

i guess i’m just really nervous for graduation bc i don’t want to live alone, yet i don’t think i want to go back home? i’m an only child to a single mother, so it’s not like i have the wonderful support of sisters like you have, ya know? but i also think living in a different city will be really good for me bc i want to have these experiences, and ppl do it all the time. but i know this will come with loads and loads of loneliness … will i be able to handle that? will i meet ppl or be so exhausted from working 3 twelve hour shifts a week to be able to go out and make friends? these are the things that deeply trouble me dndndnndndjd and i wish someone could just talk it out with me irl 😭

anyways besides my blabbering, thank you for your sweet words and encouragement 💖 they always mean a lot to me even if maybe sometimes they’re just hopeful words, they really make me feel a little better 🥺 i hope you have a good night hun, and have a good weekend !!! 💞💗💖💓💘💕