#also like. lmao i dont even do anything for halloween. i dont meet anyone i dont go anywhere i just. give candy to trick or treaters

[rumiraclemi]

wonder if i can get away with making a chip cosplay and just telling my family it’s so i can be a pirate for halloween

[elysianslove]

hi! how have you been since the hell that ensued after halloween is?

also could you do a batboys college au? like their major and how the reader would meet them and all that jazz? 👉👈

-🐥

hi anon!! i’m not sure what ur talking about @ the halloween stuff hvsdhjs but! here are the batboys hc’s! i’m not very familiar with duke thomas’s character enough to write about him tbh, so he’s not included here :( but if you want me to add him let me know!! i hope you enjoy!!

dick grayson

out of all the batboys i really didn’t know how to choose a major for him

but

i think he’d do law tbh, specifically criminal law 

his main motivation to become a police officer in bludhaven had been to be able to help people in any way he can 

i forgot if it’s canon or not but he does realize how corrupt it is and he quits but that’s another thing we won’t get into that lmao 

anyways yes let’s just stick with law 

meeting you ! 

he shares one or two courses with you

one that’s really early in the morning 

and one that’s later on in the afternoon 

dick is like a magnetic okay

anywhere he goes people are just attracted to him

like literally he will breathe 

but someone call the ambulance there’s a person that’s passed out bc of how beautiful he is

but this is an 8 am class 😃

so there’s no way ur awake enough to notice him

coincidentally he sits next to you one time

and this is the one time

you decide

yeah lemme just fkn sleep is uni even worth it 

dick definitely notices right away but he doesn’t say anything 

he thinks you look so cute passed out on your desk like this 🥺

when the professor signals the end of the class, he watches as people file out and then he just leans over and nudges you slightly 

you nearly punch him bc he scared you ❤️

he just laughs and goes “class is over” 

you just sigh like the guilt starts to hit you and your heart begins to sink

and he sees your disappointed face and just goes 

“i took a lot notes. i can share them w you?”

lifesaver in every single way dick grayson 😻😻😻

you had another class that you had to run to and you were rushing

he was like “dw i’ll just give them to you whenever i see you next” 

and you 🏃🏻‍♀️ outta there

imagine ur surprise when u enter class at 12 pm and he’s there in all his glory 

after the lecture is over, he walks up to you as you’re packing and asks if you want to go to the coffee shop nearby 

to take his notes of course

and you finally register just how handsome he is 

so obviously you say yes wtf

and the rest is history 😼

he asks you out, properly, pretty early on tbh 

so unfazed lmfao 

now you take naps on his shoulder instead of the desk 💞💞💞

soooo into pda 

kisses u when he first sees you

when you’re parting ways

when he feels like it

straight up cuddles w during lectures i’m not even joking 

it’s disgusting how cute you two are 

gets you coffee for all those 8 am classes u have w him hehe

study dates always turn into karaoke sessions somehow don’t even ask lmao

jason todd

english literature 

this is a collective agreement right? 

right

definitely english literature 

i dont even think he wants to go to uni but he’s going to waste time plus this is bruce’s money 😏🤑

your major doesn’t necessarily have to be english literature as well

but you share one class

and my god 

you two disagree on everything

like every little thing

at this point if he says something and you slightly agree internally you’ll still say some opposing shit 

that’s kinda what draws you to him 

at first you genuinely had nothing against him

but then this kind of rivalry developed for no specific reason 

but it was fun

and he was hot

so seeing him get flustered or angry made him even hotter somehow 

but then

but t h e n

you’re not sure if your professor like ships you or something

so you’re assigned a debate topic on one of the books you’d discussed in class/one of the books you’ve read outside, and within each group are the two sides for and against 

not only were you in the same team as jason, but you were on the same side as him

so you had to work with him

the audacity of the professor omg 

but jason needs this course 

and 

well you don’t but it’s too late to back out now 

you two meet in the campus library after deciding on a book with the other two of your team

and 

honestly??? 

you two work so well together 

like insanely well

during the debate you destroyed the other team 

spoiler alert 

doing so well with jason kinda made you like hot and bothered 

seeing him in his zone

sexy <3 

what i mean to say is

you both end up making out in some storage room lmfao 

or hate sex 😏

professor has a phd in matchmaking 🤔😻

i think you two don’t admit you like each other

bc you’re both stubborn as fuck

but eventually you’re literally on his lap on his couch and it just hits you

and you lean back and go

“wanna go out w me” 

and he just shrugs and goes “sure” and pulls you in for more kissing hehe

he’s not v good at the boyfriend thing tbh

you have to chase him around and be like “sir!!! did u forget about me huh!!!”

he doesn’t mean to i promise

he gets all blushy and flustered once he realizes 

only ever into pda if he’s insanely jealous 

will straight up make out w u regardless of where u are or who ur with lmfao 

he’s still getting used to the little intimacies and all 

debates in class are so much more fun now cause he finds it so hot when u get all riled up hehe

that eng lit professor is so happy for you two omg

tim drake

okay i also couldn’t really decide for him

but maybe he’d study something like physics (or maybe computer engineering/computer science) 

idk u have to have a death wish to wanna major in physics so tim’s major it is

i’m not sure how it works for every other uni but my uni requires 6 credits of sciences to graduate 

so let’s say for the sake of this hc u take like just the first level of physics to get 3 credits 

and 

you’re struggling 😃👍🏼

so you like approach your professor with a few questions before the quiz 

but tim is also there

and he kinda makes small talk while you two wait outside the office

and he asks why you’re here

you show him

and he’s like “oh i took this course w the same professor as well, i could help?” 

it’s like an angel had descended from the heavens for you personally 

you take his number and decide to meet up with him after a few hours 

he’s of so much more help than your professor would’ve been, even if ur prof is a really nice and smart person 

and he’s super like

patient with you? 

also he pays for all the coffee and snacks you’re getting after you already get them 

ur like bruh i didnt 

dont pay pls

and he’s like no im loaded let me 😼

swooning <3 

and guess what!! 

you ace the quiz out of some miracle

first thing you do is text him and he congratulates you 

and then

bc ur not blind and tim is so fucking cute

you’re like “can i take u out to thank u” 

tim’s brain stops working but ! 

he does say yes eventually 

he becomes your designated physics tutor + your amazing boyfriend

being with tim is so like

chill

it’s a very relaxed time 

lots of study dates! and cafe dates! all hours of the day whether the sun is up or not 

into pda but to a certain degree 

like yes of course have a kiss pretty baby 

but also it will only be a small peck

any time anyone passes by like common rooms you two will be there snuggling on the couch, one or both of you completely passed out 

damian wayne

business major 100% 

or a bsba econ major, which is basically the business side of economics 

he has to take over his father’s company one day duh 

also i genuinely think damian would excel in this field 

he’s a very keeps to himself kinda guy in uni

like you only ever see him in your common classes and then he just

disappears 

anyways there was this party that everyone was going to, and damian wasn’t planning to

but dick accidentally read some groupchat’s messages and was like are u going

damian went 🏃🏻‍♀️

but dick was like go and try to make friends !!!! 

and dames cant say no to his big bro 🥺 so he goes

stays in a corner on the settings app the entire time

like half an hr in he just leaves and is walking home/back to his dorm when you come like rushing up to him 

you’re zooming 

and then you just latch onto his hand and lean up to press a kiss to his cheek, whispering in his ear “this person’s been following me for like 15 mins just please go along w this” 

he kinda stiffens but when he does notice that there’s a person eyeing you he slips his arm around your waist and just carries on walking

he walks you to your home/dorm and is like

so awkward 

but it’s okay ! ur a people’s person enough for the two of you 

you thank him so much over and over 

and then you’re like 

“can i take you out on a real date?” 

and then he becomes ur real boyfriend hehe

is still super stiff but it’s only bc he’s so hyper aware of how attractive you are

and i’m super positive he doesn’t have that much experience with dating so 

you hold the reigns 

but he’s a great boyfriend all in all tbh 

super attentive, super protective, and so loving 

isn’t into pda especially on college campus but he does like subtle pda

things like linking your pinkies or giving you his hoodie to just parade around campus hehe

end note; i’m sorry if these feel rushed or anything like. i used to be an avid writer for the batboys, but i just haven’t been feeling it lately. i still love to write from them bc i know these boys so well eeeeppp. anyways feel free to request some more!!

[caws5749]

This took SO LONG thanks @natthisback

1: Name Madison

2: Age 21

3: 3 fears spiders, not becoming a doctor, becoming like my parents

4: 3 things i love marvel movies, my blanket (whoops), and scrunchies

5: 4 turn ons compliment me, be chivalrous, (idk if this means sex turn on too or not but) moaning my n- ANYWHO uh and the last one definitely like showing you want me

6: 4 turn offs someone who only talks about themselves, being like wishy washy, being arrogant/cocky, complaining about the same things

7: my best friend that would be shea @cloversofshea

8: sexual orientation lesbian

9: my best first date okay SO this like isn’t a first date but it was my first like nicer dinner date so I’m gonna count it. It was just this past weekend actually and i just i loved it so much it was amazing

10: how tall am i 5’2

11: what do i miss honestly, feeling like i was good at things

12: what time were i born 11:14am

13: favorite color purple, although it’s slowly been turning to like a baby light pink

14: do i have a crush yes yes i do and i likes her a lot

15: favorite quote “Truth is a matter of circumstance. It’s not all things to all people all the time. And neither am I.”

16: favorite place Chicago or New York City

17: favorite food SALMON

18: do i use sarcasm yes, but i feel like i don’t use it as much as i used to

19: what am i listening to right now Christmas pop playlist on Spotify

20: first thing i notice in new person whether they only talk about themselves

21: shoe size 8 or 8.5

22: eye color blue

23: hair color right now, it’s a brown that goes to blond at my ends

24: favorite style of clothing so if this means like fav style to wear daily, definitely athleisure. If it means in general, i love love love preppy looks? But not super preppy.

25: ever done a prank call? Absolutely, many times

27: meaning behind my url i explain this in my about me page (linked in bio!)

28: favorite movie captain America winter soldier

29: favorite song i don’t really have favorite songs but rn it’s prob December night by Michael buble

30: favorite band i don’t really have fav bands

31: how i feel right now it’s really hot in here, so warm. I feel okay

32: someone i love i love lots of people but ill stick with @cloversofshea

33: my current relationship status I’ve answered this so many times literally just look at the ask game tag

34: my relationship with my parents um yikes

35: favorite holiday Halloween

36: tattoos and piercing i have i have 6 tattoos! “Breathe” on my right inner ankle, a heart on left shoulder, heart w equal sign in it behind right ear, basically an ecg on my left inner ankle, Aquarius symbol on right bicep, and caws 5749 on my left side. And my ears are pierced.

37: tattoos and piercing i want definitely the black widow symbol in the same place Scarlett got her og6 tattoo, an amino acid tattoo that spells out “wah” , definitely more little tattoos! And maybe more ear piercings idk

38: the reason i joined tumblr so, I’ve had a tumblr for many many years. I originally joined bc my best friends at the time had them, and i was like sure! Ive deleted that personal blog since, and started my new personal blog a few years ago. I also have a studyblr that i started i think back in high school, and i just started this blog back in the end of July!

39: do i and my last ex hate each other no, I’d say far from it bc i likes her a lot

40: do i ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts yes from her and i fucking love it, it used to be a bigger thing almost every day and i loved it

41: have i ever kissed the last person i texted lmao no and for those who were wondering it is @cloversofshea

42: when did i last hold hands LMAO WITH @michelinaamour WHEN I WAS STUMBLING HOME DRUNK IN HIGH HEELS

43: how long does it take me to get ready in the morning it depends, anywhere from ten minutes to an hour and a half

44: have you shaved your legs in the past three days no! I am super lucky and have really light colored hairs on my legs and so i dont’ have to shave very often. Also i just want to say that i personally love shaving my legs and it is my choice to do so.. girls, you do not need to shave!!

45: where am i right now so i started answering this in the research lab, but i am currently sitting at one of the dining places on campus finishing it

46: if i were drunk and can’t stand, who’s taking care of me LMAO DEFINITELY @michelinaamour because she’s done it ALREADY FOR ME MULTIPLE TIMES

47: do i like my music loud or at a reasonable level it depends, in car trips, definitely blast it. But just driving around or listening in doors, definitely reasonable level

48: do i live with my mom and dad nope i live with @michelinaamour

49: am i excited for anything yes, I’m excited for lots of things. I get excited easily

50: do i have someone of the opposite sex i can tell everything to no. I used to

51: how often do i wear a fake smile this is a really interesting question. I don’t consider smiles i give to random people like ordering food or something to be fake, so i would say fake smiles are when I’m not okay and trying to hide it. Which happens less often now bc I’m just much happier of a person

52: when was the last time i hugged someone I think it was @michelinaamour two days ago but i think i hugged @cloversofshea that day too so

53: what if the last person i kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me I’d be heartbroken tbh

54: is there anyone i trust even though i should not yes, certain adults in my life

55: what is something i disliked about today my hair won’t do what i want it to :(

56: if i could meet anyone on this earth who would it be probably Chris Evans or Scarlett Johansson

57: what do i think about the most tumblr and everything with that, or probably her or school stuff definitely

58: what’s my strangest talent i don’t think i have any lol

59: do i have any strange phobias yes definitely haha, I’m terrified of stepping on worms

60: do i prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it i think a few years ago i would have said behind, but honestly I think I’d love to be in front of the camera now

61: what was the last lie i told i actually don’t know. Maybe this past weekend as to like the fact that i was going out on a date instead of just going out with a friend

62: do i prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online I’d say talking on the phone bc then they cant’ see me lmao

63: do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yes and yes

64: do i believe in magic? Yes, or at least, that’s what i tell myself

65: do i believe in luck yes

66: what’s the weather like right now snowy!

67: what was the last book I’ve ever read The Butchering Art, it’s about the history of surgery

68: do i like the smell of gasoline omg yes yes yes yes yes yes

69: do i have any nicknames yes, madz, madi, girl who lives by the kitchen, queen (a new one) and clown (also a new one) thanks @natthisback

70: what was the worst injury I’ve ever had back in freshman year of college, i did something stupid and my foot swelled up like hell and hurt so bad. There were no fractures detected but the swelling stayed for a really long time, as well as the bruising and pain, and it never returned to normal

71: do i spent my money or save it SPEND IT BABY

72: can i touch my nose w my tongue no I’m not that talented

73: is there anything pink in 10 ft from me. Hmm part of my backpack? And my rings are pinkish bc they are rose gold. Oh and my scrunchie is pink, as well as my iPad

74: favorite animal cat

75: what was i doing last night at 12am i was still at work In the emergency room!

76: what do i think satan’s last name is uh honestly Jim lmao (it’s demons Jim! @cloversofshea )

77: what’s a song that always makes me happy when i hear it so good by dove Cameron

78: how can you win my heart suggest we watch a marvel movie, and I’m prob straight up in love. There are other things too but they’re pretty general, like compliment me, show you want me ya know

79: what would i want to be written on my tombstone haha, as a joke, “so realy its very thing. Just to keep everyone guessing.” But idk something funny

80: what is my favorite word i have no idea, maybe like sophisticated or something like that or aesthetic , champagne is a good one too

81: my top 5 blogs on tumblr ooh! Okay so @markiplier @lesbian-deadpool @americasass-romanoff @lesbianmariahilll @shining-rey-of-sunshine but i love so so so so so many more, and i have a lot of top blogs

82: if the whole world were listening to me right now what would i say fuck trump also I’m gay as hell and I’m growing tired of hiding it from people

83: do i have any relatives in jail not that i know of

84: i accidentally eat some radioactive vegatables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super power of my choice! What is that power lmao this question is great. Prob same powers as Wanda

85: what would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on any weird fetis- JUST KIDDING. Do you still think about them?

86: what is my current desktop picture so on my laptop, it’s fall flowers. But since that’s broken af, i use my iPad and that background is one of the apple ones. It’s just a beach idk why but I’ve never changed it

87: had sex WHY IS THIS IN EVERY SINGLE ASK GAME WTF

88: bought condoms nope i am gay as hell bye

89: gotten pregnant nope i am gay as hell bye

90: failed a class nope, definitely come close though

91: kissed a boy yes

92: kissed a girl yes

93: have i ever kissed somebody in th rain honestly, probably at some point, but I’ve never had one of those romantic kisses in the rain. I really really want to though and i think about it a lot

94: had job yeah, I’ve had three true jobs

95: left the house without my wallet probably

96: bullied someone on the internet no bc I’m not a fucking douche

97: had sex in public not yet

98: played on a sports team yeah, played softball and basketball in middle school

99: smoked weed yeah, but i didn’t get high

100: did drugs nope

101: smoked cigarettes nope, i think i asked drunk once if i could smoke, but my friend was like “really?” And i was like uhhhhhh just kidding haha

102: drank alcohol lmao i drink fucking all the time i mean. I literally have drunk writing nights , I’m drinking tonight too

103: am i a vegetarian/vegan i was a vegetarian for a while, and then an aspiring vegan, and then vegetarian, and then pescatarian now!

104: been overweight no

105: been underweight yes

106: been to a wedding yeah, but like not for a long time. I was like 4 and the flower girl. Oh WAIT. Does playing a wedding count? I played cello at a wedding so i was there???

107: been on the computer for 5 hours straight hell yeah, how would i function not doing this with class and relaxing

108: watched tv for 5 hours straight lmao definitely

109: been outside my home country yeah

110: gotten my heart broken yeah

111: been to a professional sports game yeah. I don’t really do sports though , so when i go it’s usually in suites and I’m just there for the food

112: broken a bone nope!

113: cut myself this is...a. Really deep question but bc i want to be able to speak about mental health on here, the answer is yes.

114: been to prom yes! I went to my junior and senior proms!

115: been in airplane too many times

116: fly by helicopter no, I’m not sure if i want to do this or not

117: what concerts have i been to I’ve been to lots. So first off, I’ve been to hundreds of classical concerts (and performed in them). As for pop, Bruno mars twice, maroon five like three times. Selena Gomez. Josh groban. American authors. Definitely others that i don’t remember

118: had a crush on someone of the same sex yes I’m fucking gay

119: learned another language so if this means fluent, no. I took a decent amount of French and am learning Russian right now!

120: wore make up absolutely. When i choose to wear makeup, its because i fuckign love makeup haha. Most days I’m lazy though and like to let my skin breathe and be natural

121: lost my virginity before I was 18 no

122: had oral sex yeah

123: dyed my hair many times

124: voted in a presidential election okay i think so but honestly can’t remember. But I’m pretty sure i did.

125: rode in an ambulance no and i never want to.

126: had a surgery no and i never want to haha. Well i cant say that. Depending on how my life plays out, I might freeze my eggs or something.

127: met someone famous yes, several I think, but probably Henry winkler was the one I remember most.

128: stalked someone on a social network yeah

129: peed outside nope don’t think so and definitely don’t want to

130: been fishing yes I have been ice fishing and regular fishing

131: helped w charity i have!

132: been rejected by a crush I’ve been not liked back but i don’t think I’ve ever made like a move on a crush and been rejected

133: broken a mirror ooh i don’t think i have actually

134: what do i want for birthday nothing bc i dont’ like my bday

[cannedapricot]

Christmas Party! Wanna One

last installment of the christmas collab with @alliwannado-w1 and @jihoonslattee!! it’s been great working with you two!! <33333

welcome to the college that loves having excuses to throw parties

after the mess that was the traditional halloween party

there’s a christmas party!

except this party is organised by the school and no one should die during it!

it’s a formal event which means everyone needs to dress up

honestly,,, everyone’s broke asf and if it weren’t for the free food no one would show up

everyone wears the same suit/dress to the party every year lMAO BITCH THAT SHIT IS CRAZY EXPENSIVE NO ONE CAN AFFORD A NEW ONE EVERY YEAR

guanlin can but that’s because he got the money

the boy’s stinking rich and he loves showing it off to the rest of wanna one

so guanlin is not included in the everyone :)

when ong asks in the group chat if anyone was planning on going to the christmas party, no one replied for a good five hours

“um??? guys????? answer me???”

“iS EVERYONE DEAD OR WHAT”

“FINE IM ASSUMING NO ONE’S GOING THEN GEEZ”

then woojin steps out of the exam room, replying, 

“why don’t we just have our own lol fuck the school”

woojin gets 183527 replies of agreement

ong’s just,,,,,

“oK I SEE THAT EVERYONE LOVES WOOJIN BUT NOT ME :’C”

“oh shit were we obvious?”

“well, fuck you kim jaehwan”

the boys decided to meet up at the campus cafe to talk about this ‘illegal’ christmas party lol what a bunch of nerds

you,,,, well,,,, you didn’t see this notice

you turned off notifications for the chat because of that one time where daniel and sungwoon got drunk together and wouldn’t stop texting the group chat at four in the morning

and forgot to turn the notifs back on rip

you were on your merry way back to campus from a bakery

theY SOLD THE BEST FRUIT TARTS ON THIS PLANET

you were ready to waste your time watching home alone while noming on the tarts

LOL U THOUGHT

ENTER: BAE JINYOUNG AND LEE DAEHWI

the two were also on their merry way towards the cafe

they were skipping, arms wrapped around each other

but you caught their eye anD YOU’RE NOT ON YOUR WAY TOWARDS THE CAMPUS CAFE

throwing each other a glance, they nodded

anD DRAGGED YOU TOWARDS THE CAFE WITH THEM

YOU LEGIT THOUGHT YOU WERE BEING KIDNAPPED

also you dropped your tart >:’(

after you got dragged half way across campus

yOU WERE READY TO THROW HANDS

HOW D A R E

“fucking finally, we waited forever for you three”

“paRK JIHOON!!! LANGUAGE!!!”

????

you got forced in between minhyun and jisung

who both fussed over your messy hair and snowy clothes

three tables were pushed together to accommodate everyone

and you just????

“uh,,, i didn’t know our squad meeting dates changed”

the whole groups inhales

“my christmas wish this year is that y/n turns on her notifs again”

“hA not happening”

an fucking hour of useless banter happens and y’all slowly forget why all twelve of you were squeezed into a cafe

until minhyun catches sight of he time and realizes that hE HAS TO GO GROCERY SHOPPING SO HE AND JAEHWAN DON’T STARVE

and everyone suddenly shifts to the topic of christmas party lol

“whose dorm??”

“NO THANKS. WE ALL REMEMBER THE LAST PARTY WE HAD”

HELL

THE LAST PARTY Y’ALL THREW

WAS WHEN JISUNG AND MINHYUN WERE OUT OF TOWN ON A GEOGRAPHY TRIP

AND THEY CAME BACK TO JISUNG AND SUNGWOON’S SHARED OFF CAMPUS APARTMENT TO FIND EVERYONE PASSED OUT WITH SHIT STREWN EVERYWHERE

needless to say,,, jisung rounded everyone up and scolded ev e r y o n e

while minhyun cleaned up

probably talking shit under his breath

upon hearing jisung rejecting the ‘offer’

everyone pouted

“but you and sungwoon have an apartment!! it’s huge!!!!”

“our dorms are on campus and they’re tiny :c”

“lOL I DON’T SEE WHY NOT. LETS DO IT AGAIN”

“SUNGWOON I AM UR FLATMATE PLS TALK WITH ME BEFORE YOU-”

 “YAY 2SUNG’S APARTMENT IT IS THEN”

jisung quickly said that this party had to be organised!!!!

but then came another problem

the school party had this fancy red carpet

and the red carpet pictures end up in the yearbook

anD WELL,,,, W1 DONT WANNA MISS THIS CHANCE

“listen,,,, i got an idea”

jihoon scoots closer to the center of the tables

and told you guys to do so as well

it loOKS LIKE Y’ALL PLANNING TO KILL SOMEONE IM-

“let’s escape the party after the red carpet”

don’t ask me why

but

y’all thought it was a great idea

in the end, 2sung were in charge of decorating the place, minhwan were in charge of the food, ongniel were in charge of the eggnog (and non-alcoholic drinks for the minors) and the two sausages were in charge of choosing movies for the marathon :’)))

this was chosen through paper scissors rock

sO EVERYONE ELSE WERE ONLY REQUIRED TO SHOW UP LOL

cut to christmas day

everyone was looking fine af in their attire

and guanlin was showing off his 193728th new suit

you sat the red carpet out

because getting dressed up was a hassle

so you arrived at 2sung’s apartment before any of the boys 

and took a while looking for the spare keys jisung hid osbgofbs

opening the door, you gasp

sungwoon and jisung went all out decorating the place

the christmas tree stood stunningly in the corner, mistletoe hung in the most unsuspecting places, garlands hung from the walls and fairy lights gave the place a warm glow

the first thing you do?

jump onto the pile of bean bags of course lmao

and while you fall asleep in your festive attire,

the boys were pulling some kingsman shit in their suits lmao

liKE,,,,

THE MAKNAE LINE WERE ROLLING AROUND LIKE THERE WERE LASERS

AND THE HYUNG LINE WERE LIKE 

“its ok we have umbrellas if shit goes out of hand”

BOSEBGDSOBG

IMAGINE ELEVEN BOYS RUNNING IN SUITS LMAO

WHAT KIND OF MV-

and when they get into the van they rented out especially for this ‘mission’,

“quiCK ONG, STEP ON IT”

what a fucking mess

they arrive at the apartment looking like the hot mess they were

and you, who just woke from slumber, asked,

“what the fuck”

the boys proceed to try squeeze into the small toilet

“i neED TO CHANGE--”

“GET OUT OF MY WAY IM OLDER THAN ALL OF YOU--”

“MY DRESS SHIRT IS R  UIN E D”

if you didn’t love these boys, 

you might’ve strangled every one of them already

to your surprise, daniel pushes his way out of the crowd, changed and laughing like no tomorrow, first

and he immediately goes towards the eggnog

wow as expected tbfh

oK BUT EVERYONE WOULD LOOK 1000000% SOFTER IN CHRISTMAS JUMPERS DO NOT FIGHT ME ON THIS

“lmao you look stupid”

“you look even more stupid 😤”

jaehwan brought his guitar with him

and everyone danced to his improvised carol like it was some lit shit?????

how drunk are y’all smh

daniel twerked 

also woojin tried to sneak some eggnog 

but minhyun caught him

and now minhyun’s on minor drink supervision

daehwi and jinyoung got caught under mistletoe at one point!!!

evERYONE STARTED CHANTING

“KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS”

AND DAEHWI PULLED THRU

AND SMOOCHED BAEJIN’S CHEEK

THE APARTMENT WAS THEN FULLED WITH SCREAMS

sduOFIBOS

guanlin got jihoon a framed picture of himself as a present

by the end of the night, half of you were wasted and the other half were high on sugar

liKE,,,, Y’ALL HAD THE LIGHTS ON AND WERE WATCHING THE HARRY POTTER SERIES

BUT YOU GUYS COULDN’T STOP GIGGLING?????

one by one, you guys loose your energy,,

and fall asleep on each other

the apartment becomes silent

the only light and sound coming from the tv and crackling fireplace

it was, a very merry christmas

filled with dumb shit but thats ok

merry christmas!!! <33333 i hope everyone spent it happily!! this is the last of the christmas collab  sivdbsoaobvd i hope everyone enjoyed it!!! aaaaa,,,,,, i’m sorry if this is short,,,,, mY BRAIN IS IN FOOD COMA RN I CAN’T THINK OF ANYTHING GOOD AOBDVOAB

[b0stonmanor]

since yall kept fuckin asking heres 1-155. Go ahead and see how fucking lame I actually am

1: Full name: Madison Lyn (I’m not putting my last name on the internet lmao)

2: Age:19

3: 3 Fears: heights, elevators, being alone for the rest of my life 

4: 3 things I love: cats, coffee, sleeping

5: 4 turns on: (I’m gonna make it nonsexual okay): body mods, humor, good vibes, nice laugh

6: 4 turns off: (gonna make these nonsexual too): rude, nasty, conceited, takes days to reply lmao

7: My best friend: girl: @bohoangel guy: @bostonnanner

8: Sexual orientation: pansexual

9: My best first date: haven’t had a best one yet, need someone to change that lmao

10: How tall am I: 5′8

11: What do I miss: lots of things and people both too many too name

12: What time was I born: 2:06am

13: Favourite color: blue

14: Do I have a crush: still crushin on my last man

15: Favourite quote: either some vine or “I’m here for a good time not a long time” I have way too many favs

16: Favourite place: my room, best friends house, or beach house

17: Favourite food: buffalo chicken or alfredo

18: Do I use sarcasm: of course not 

19: What am I listening to right now: music ;)

20: First thing I notice in new person: smile

21: Shoe size: no

22: Eye color: hazel

23: Hair color: naturally brunette currently red

24: Favourite style of clothing: gothic, pop punk or hippie/boho

25: Ever done a prank call?: I havent personally 

27: Meaning behind my URL: I needed to change my url of 8 years and I wanted something short and easy to remember but I also wanted it to be a band so it would fit my blog and surprisingly this one wasnt taken

28: Favourite movie: I have way too many 

29: Favourite song: again way too many

30: Favourite band: AGAIN way too many

31: How I feel right now: I feel fucking exhausted 

32: Someone I love: okay now Im sad 

33: My current relationship status: okay NOW Im crying but single

34: My relationship with my parents: welp my dads dead and my mom and I are okay

35: Favourite holiday: Halloween or Christmas

36: Tattoos and piercing I have: no tattoos yet and I have my nose pierced and first and second holes pierced on my ears

37: Tattoos and piercing I want: too many

38: The reason I joined Tumblr: I was 12 that should be enough

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?: No. In fact I could never hate him and I dont think I’ll love anyone like I did/do him.

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?: eh sometimes

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? last text over imessage yes

42: When did I last hold hands?: I have no idea

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?: I dont do anything really so not too long

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?: dont out me

45: Where am I right now?: my room

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?: @bohoangel

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?: both

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?: mom

49: Am I excited for anything?: nah

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? @bostonnanner

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?: eh

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?: yesterday

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?: I mean idc but it’d just be fucking weird cause they’re kissing in front of me 

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?: plenty of people lmao

55: What is something I disliked about today?: I’ll do yesterday since today hasnt really happened. But it was fathers day and my heart was hurting so bad cause I miss my dad more than anything and really wish he was still here

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?: my fuckin soulmate bitch

57: What do I think about most?: in all honesty, my ex

58: What’s my strangest talent?: I can do this smile thing that nobody else can do and it makes me look like a frog

59: Do I have any strange phobias?: probably

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?: in front

61: What was the last lie I told?: that I was a child of God

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?: video chatting but I dont mind either

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?: fuck yes and fuck yes

64: Do I believe in magic?: I’m a god damn witch bitch

65: Do I believe in luck?: I believe in karma

66: What’s the weather like right now? according to my phone its currently clear and 61 degrees

67: What was the last book I’ve read?: I have no idea

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?: eh

69: Do I have any nicknames? Maddie, Mad, Mads

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?: I had a staph infection in my foot that went back and forth across my foot and then up my leg (doctor said if my mom didn’t bring me when she did I would’ve died cause it would’ve gone to my heart)

71: Do I spend money or save it?: spend it 

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?: nope

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? ye

74: Favourite animal?: cats

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?: I have no idea

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?: oh shit I’ve never thought of this

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?: good question

78: How can you win my heart?: Be Italian 

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? I honestly have no idea

80: What is my favorite word? bitch

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr: I get asked this way too much

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?: probably some hippie bullshit

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?: I’ve had relatives in jail but I dont think anyones in jail rn

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? theres too many lmao

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? probably if I’ve smoked or drank or have done anything bad but only if my mom was asking

86: What is my current desktop picture? its just basic 

87: Had sex?: nah

88: Bought condoms?: nah

89: Gotten pregnant?: nah

90: Failed a class?: nah

91: Kissed a boy?: ye

92: Kissed a girl?: ye

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?: nah

94: Had job?: ye

95: Left the house without my wallet?: ye

96: Bullied someone on the internet?: nah

97: Had sex in public?: nah

98: Played on a sports team?: ye

99: Smoked weed?: ye

100: Did drugs?: nothing hardcore just smoking weed

101: Smoked cigarettes?: nah

102: Drank alcohol?: ye

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?: I’ve tried

104: Been overweight?: no answer

105: Been underweight? also no answer

106: Been to a wedding?: ye

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?: ye

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?: ye

109: Been outside my home country?: nah

110: Gotten my heart broken?: of course

111: Been to a professional sports game?: ye

112: Broken a bone?: ye

113: Cut myself?: ye

114: Been to prom?: ye

115: Been in airplane?: ye

116: Fly by helicopter?: nah

117: What concerts have I been to?: pink, metallica/volbeat, warped tour 2016,2017,2018, jingle ball, some birthday bash, I cant remember if I’ve been to any other ones lmao

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?: not entirely 

119: Learned another language?: not fully

120: Wore make up?: ye

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?: I’m a child of god

122: Had oral sex?: nah

123: Dyed my hair?: ye

124: Voted in a presidential election?: not yet

125: Rode in an ambulance?: couldve a couple times but my parents decided to drive me

126: Had a surgery?: nah

127: Met someone famous?: I guess? 

128: Stalked someone on a social network?: who doesnt do this

129: Peed outside?: ye

130: Been fishing?: ye

131: Helped with charity?: I think so

132: Been rejected by a crush?: who doesnt get rejected

133: Broken a mirror?: probably

134: What do I want for birthday?: lots of things

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?: I have no idea

136: Was I named after anyone?: No but I have the same middle name as my aunt

137: Do I like my handwriting?: ye

138: What was my favorite toy as a child?: I have no idea

139: Favorite Tv Show?: American Horror Story, Bob’s Burgers, The Office, or Drunk History

140: Where do I want to live when older?: New Hampshire

141: Play any musical instrument?: I can play the violin and piano and can also sing but idk if that counts lmao

142: One of my scars, how did I get it?: its barely noticeable but literally right under my left eye (like right at the edge of my dark circle lmao) I got attacked by a dog and it bit me in the face and I had to get stitches but I bitched out and had it glued instead lmao

143: Favorite pizza topping? cheese

144: Am I afraid of the dark?: depends where I am

145: Am I afraid of heights?: ye

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?:nah

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?: haha yeah

148: What I’m really bad at: everything

149: What my greatest achievements are: I fucking graduated from high school. Like I would never wish what I went through on anyone ever not even my worst enemy. It was worse than hell

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: I honestly dont remember 

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery: lots of stuff

152: What do I like about myself: my eyebrows

153: My closest Tumblr friend: I cant say @bohoangel cause I’ve known her since 5th grade so I’ll say @bostonnanner even though we met on omegle years ago lmao

154: Something I fantasize about: lots of things

155: Any question you’d like?: literally whatever anyone wants to know

[unravelling-the-world]

I was trying my best, and another friend who always took pictures of us (we took pics of him as well dw) documented all of those moments, i even used a not-permanent spray color hair for that day just so the pictures could be special. I didn't particularly like myself, I never did ,but I was too busy to think about it. When i went out, i felt decent at least. Binder, thick under-eye red/black liner, just the perfect e-boy look i wanted. I felt that, as a pre-hrt person, I was looking as masc as I could while doing the style that makes me comfortable and I want to achieve. I was doing my best everytime we went out to look presentable in the pictures, and I did well 9/10 times. At some point, there was a light festival as well. I went with one friends and my cousin and we had fun. My friend and I took pictures, my cousin didn't want hers taken but we still interacted a lot and had fun, I loved the pics of that day. I never got to post them, because my downfall came soon after. At that point in time, I was finally living the dream. I posted frequently on ig (bc i went out frequently) and even though i wasn't anyone big, no partnerships or anything, not even 1k followers, I was growing, and having been intoxicated by fame at age 12, it was just what I needed. My posts started getting 70 likes on average and 7-10 comments, i only had 500 followers but they were growing at an average of 20 followers/month. A lil tween reached out to me and told me he thought I was really cool and was my fan. Bro, that was awesome. Things were moving forward, and altough i felt afraid of the future, I was working on it all. I was making progress in other aspects as well,having come out formally recently and with help from my psychologist, we were going to start looking into hrt, and i just couldn't believe it. I only have read fast and short info. I never really wanted to inform myself more because deep within me I was just afraid I'd never be able to get it and get my hopes up for nothing. We appointed a session to talk about that. This was march, and at my house, we watched a Japanese channel (because we are all interested in Japanese culture and such) So I knew the coronavirus was coming. They started talking about it since the start, in december, obviously, because they are way closer to where the virus started so it spread faster there. I remember it was on a cruise first. I knew it would eventually arrive here, so through all summer i told my mother "it's only a matter of time." I knew it'd come. March was here, and the last time i went out with my friends came along. Inside my head, I felt like I knew that was the last time. I had thoughts about "I wonder if i'll ever get to see a sight like this again". I managed to take some pictures, because,inside me, I knew that was the last time. I wanted to preserve the memory of it. I didn't want to forget. At the time, with a friend, who took the same metro line as me but lives further away, since it was just us two, when saying goodbye we'd always say "see you in five minutes" (like in endgame, because i told her the whole movie and told her when they said that and then black widow died) and she LAUGHED so hard and it became an ongoing joke between us (we are both kinda suicidal ngl but we just laugh abt it.) We said it that day as well, but we actually never saw each other again lmao

At that point, in the country, there were about 4 covid cases. Only 1 in the capital, so it had started, but was only just the start. When I got home, i kind of knew that was the last. My classes started, and for two weeks, it was hell on earth. Online,obviously. I got paired up with the guy I hated the most in the entire generation (I only knew half of them, and liked even fewer, but this guy. fuck. i would have killed him. he was awful.) Anyways. Yeah. But at the end, classes got postponed until further notice. So I was now a Neet! For a while, even though coronavirus was getting worse and worse here as everywhere, I was doing good. I was living the introvert dream, and since I have a decent/good relationship with my parents and grandma, life was just great. All around me I saw everyone struggle with quarantine. I was having a blast. Playing sims, watching anime, anything went. Shit was great. Got Gta V for free when epic released it, and had a blast. Got obsessed with obey me for a while. It was all fun.... Met via discord with my friends. Almost daily with certain friends, once in a while with others, but the whole group would be together at least once. It was good, for me. I felt good. I would ocassionally wake up and tell my mother that I was happy, and hug her. I don't think i'd ever done that. I was at peak, and I knew it. Drew a lot, played a lot. Did a lot of things and projects. Everything felt ok...My dysphoria wasn't great during these times (since now i stay in pajamas all day except when I use camara to meet with friends, and obviously I dont wear my binder with my pajamas) But i had so much free time, that I could just ignore it. (I'm good at avoiding things. at running away.)

Classes started June 1st. First day, I had a breakdown. I don't remember why, but I couldn't connect to class. I felt overwhelmed. I don't know and don't like asking for help because i feel useless when I do. So I didn't. Apparently I seemed more upset than I thought, because my dad noticed. When comforted or confronted, I always cry. I can't talk about my feelings without crying. I feel weak for expressing them. Even writing this, i feel the knot in my neck. My dad saw and ended up helping and comforting. I cried a lot. I went to class, but spent the whole 3 hours of class crying. Things were unstable for a while, but I was keeping afloat, I guess. I started feeling like shit, I wasn't happy daily anymore. Online learning felt so distant and so difficult and so different. I don't like change. At least not without expecting it beforehand. So yeah, that ended up taking a toll on my mental health. The downfall started. I was quite busy, but still tried to meet with friends via discord whenever we could. We had some online birthdays, and season 3 of osomatsu san had already been announced. I was looking forward to it so much. I was in pain, but that thought was keeping me going. I started getting worse, mentally. I started isolating myself ocasionally. I have quite long gaps from this period. I can't really recall much of what happened or what it was like. At some point around August-September I was watching 6teen, because my uni decided that starting a semester and compressing it into a trimester was a good idea, and finals were in september, i think. At the time of finals, i was watching 6teen. I didn't wanna finish it, so I started total drama after. I had a week of vacation in September as well, and I think I was OK for the week.

I won't lie. I don't remember october. I only know Osomatsu-san started here bc I waited for it all year long. I regained closer contact with a friend who lives in japan. Halloween also had an online meeting. I cosplayed, and felt good with myself for the night, for the first time in months. But I ended up having a breakdown later that night. A friend who didn't come and had said he'd come ended up arriving very late (2-3AM ish, meeting was at 10PM) He was very drunk. I don't mind. He says he just came to say sorry he didn't come bc he ended up meeting with irls. We tell him it's ok. He disconnects. He reconnects not long after, but we are confused, since that's not his voice. It was his friend who took his phone, a classic party prank. Doesn't matter, it was fun for a bit. This guy is also mad drunk, so talking to him is weird and funny. But shit gets bad for me in a bit. I was using a voice changer, as I usually do online, because Im ashamed of my high pitched voice. But this guy misgenders me, more than once, and also my friend who lives in japan. He doesn't seem to care, and I act like I don't, but it hurts so bad. My other friend who was there at that time corrects him, more than once. I felt thankful to her. I never thanked her afterwards because I didn't know how to bring out that topic without crying. This guy is very drunk though, and altough i doubt he had vile intentions because of the way he phrased it, he insists, that those are womans voices. They talk about it a bit, verbal comebacks. I wanted them to stop. At some point, my friend who lives in Japan leaves bc its lunch time for him. I felt like shit. I just told this other guy "I'm 10" and he dropped the subject, he believed me and the explanation. My friend laughed her ass out, because she thought I said it as a joke. Truth is, that was just a desperate answer to get him to drop the topic. I dont really care if he believed I was 10 or not though. I just wanted it to stop. He jokes with my friend for a bit more. I didn't talk much after, because I felt ashamed. I didn't want to talk ever again. Even now, even with the voice changer, I don't have the confidence I had when I started using it. I have lowered the pitch twice, just in case. My friend left the call a bit later. When she left, I left as well. I was thankful to her though. I don't remember if i cried or not, but it caused me a massive breakdown for about two weeks. I didn't talk online with anyone until my birthday, I think. I didn't tell anyone but my psychologist this.

I don't remember November much either. I know it's my birthday, and I know I came back to tumblr in november. Yall know when. Canon destiel and shit. Tumblr hadn't felt so alive in years. It felt like home. I remember I was having a bad breakdown during that time. I think it was career related. I can't really remember much. The shitshow happening on tumblr Destiel Election actually helped me get better. I remember this only because of a conversation I had with a friend. I started working on christmas decorations as well. December came along, I worked hard on christmas decorations. I played a bit as well, because on some of my classes I just didn't have anything to do lol. Decorations were finished two weeks in advance for christmas. For the first time ever! I was happy. During these times,Nov-Dec lockdowns started easing up a bit. I still can't go out at all though, because I live with my grandmother, so we're supposed to minimize risks. My parents only go out for shopping essentials that can't be bought online. So it's fair and I understand it, but it started becoming hard on mental health. Not because I can't go out, but because my friends start going out. They know I can't go, they don't exclude me, but they know I can't and I also know I can't. I guess in a form, its jealousy. It becomes hard because there's no one to blame. It's no one's fault. I'm not excluded on purpose, but the truth is, I don't want to hear them talk about what they do when they have fun. I've always been insecure. Even when all evidence points otherwise, I still believe, deep inside,they hate me. They wish I weren't in the group and would be better off without me. It gets hard sometimes.

Even though in general December was quite good, it also came with a major breakdown. One of my best friend's bday is in December. Up until then, Me, her, and another friend had been playing league of legends nearly daily. It was toxic sometimes (the game/community, not my friends) but we had fun. I just liked playing together. But that would come to an end as well. My friend celebrated her birthday, and did invite me, but obviously I couldn't go,and she knew this beforehand, so she didn't get mad or anything. She handled the situation very well, wrote on the gc once, and then did a special gc for birthday attendants to talk about details there and such, and reminded friends who asked in the gc to talk in the birthday gc. (this is how i knew, but i think it was well done tbh, i wish they'd just asked in the bday gc instead so i wouldn't have seen it and felt bad about how i couldn't go) My friend also offered to have me as an online guest, like, being in videocall in the computer on the table. like Karen from spongebob ig. the idea was cool, but honestly i felt bad. She celebrates her bday with her gf bc their dates are near, and I just didn't really want to inconvenience them? I mean, her gf is cool and she used to hang out with our group ocassionaly and she was cool and fit in, and it never felt awkward talking to her irl or anything but it's not like she's my friend and honestly I didn't wanna inconvenience her party, and even though I'm sure my friend wouldn't have minded, I didn't want to be an extra inconvenience for her too. I just wanted her to have fun, honestly. But feeling like a burden ended up weighing on my mind. This caused a bad bad breakdown, beforehand I had started to become better,little by little, but these two weeks waiting for that event to happen felt like a nightmare to me. I didn't tell anyone. I think i wrote it about here once. Around this time, an account on instagram called "matsunoadvice" got reccomended to me, and Oh boy Have I gone to them for advice. Of course, I sent them a message at the time, desperate for someone to talk to, because I couldn't tell anyone about this, because all my other friends know each other kinda and i didn't wanna inconvenience everyone. I didn't want anyone to know i felt like shit. I felt thankful to my friend, because she did try her best to include me, I just didn't really wanna inconvenience anyone. I guess I'd rather suffer alone myself than being a pain in the ass for someone else. After all, I've accepted that I'm alone long ago, and since now there's nothing I can do to maintain my social relationships now,I may as well just accept that theyre ending now. I kind of isolated myself for those two weeks, sometimes i would still connect on discord, but it always felt kind of distant. I stopped playing league of legends around this time.

I still hadn't confirmed to my friend if i was virtually going or not. Truth is, i kind of knew I probably wouldn't want to go in the end, bc im Like That™ But i told her in advance that i'd let her know the date of the event early in the day because of how unstable I am and I wouldn't actually be sure until the day (which was true when I told her) So the day of the event i told her that I was thankful but I wouldn't be assisting virtually and told her to have a great day! She replied okay in a nice way as she always did. I don't think she seemed weirded out by my answer. I hope she didn't feel bad, because she's very empathetic so I hope she didn't think about me at all that day. I hope she never reads this, and even if she does, she didn't really do anything wrong and handed the situation the best she could, the pain was unevitable for me due to the situation. beforehand i had also had a similar breakdown though, because 3 friends who i was/am? still very close to started meeting each other to skate together. I don't know how to skate/have never skated and obviously can't go either way, and sometimes they'd talk about it in the vc. I remained calm always until the call ended,but I did cry about it late at night. It's selfish, of course, but when no one saw anyone, it was easier. we were all the same. But now it felt like they were all moving on without me. In a way, it's what I always wanted, but I always wished to die first. I know it's not sane, but i'd imagined situations like that in my head, where I die and then everyone moved on and it made me feel calmer. But seeing that unfold before my eyes, when i'm still breathing here, i'm still here. It felt lonely. I'm glad they're having fun. I'm just upset I can't do it as well? And it makes me feel like inevitably my relationships with them will break and fall apart and dissapear and they're all still gonna be a interwined network, even though I did everything I could to maintain it because it's all I've ever had outside of my direct family? I didn't make any friends at uni or have a different group of friends so it just...hurt? It still hurts, i'm just more used to it. Also after the bday i did try to connect in vc but it just made me worse, like a friend said like "noo it got too wild honestly u didnt miss anything" and i was like lmao ok but i felt like kinda sad anyways but if i was there i wouldve probably slept through it anyways

...after i felt awful bc i have another friend who is just kinda blunt and kinda dumb when it comes to how others feel, and he was like ohh yeah but after the bday [friend] took us and some of [friends gf's friends] to our houses and since it was early we went to a mcdonalds and it was so fun !! and it was just so uncomfortable bc obviously im glad you have fun but like i dont wanna know??? bc it hurts a fuckin lot???? and my other friend who was also in vc (he was the one w the car) he was like "haha yeaaa it was fun" but he seemed quite uncomfortable talking abt it he could probably tell i didnt wanna hear and ik my other friend only did it bc he's naive not bc he had bad intentions but yeah it sucked i was like haha thats great heh.....like what ya want me to say babe

Christmas arrived and it ended up helping me a lot. Christmas is my favorite holiday and I decorated a month in advance, baked cookies for the first time (with my mom) and we just did a lot of things this year. It made me happy and kept me occupied through the pain (I know i described a lot of pain here but I only paid attention to it at night, which is why it still hurts now probably bc i've had it all repressed) And of course the gifts, honestly I didn't know what to expect because this year I didn't really know what to ask for and just asked for a surprise (because i love receiving things! anything) And my dad definetely outdid himself with all the gifts, I loved them and they're all useful too! I was amazed and i told my friends abt it and it ended up in me talking more in the vc again, and i also started playing genshin impact in late december as well. We also held a secrer santa in the group but not everyone participated (mostly bc of money) but the 4 of us that did was fun! i knew everyone's secret santa bc 2/4 asked to me for help and they were mutual </3 so i knew me and my other friend were mutual too lol but it was cool. I kinda was a bitch a bit though bc he delievered my gift to my home and was going to come a random day and I just wasn't prepared bc I was afraid of seeing him honestly I didn't want to see him and I hoped he wouldn't come? He didn't come that day but he did come some days after, I truly wasn't ready at that point anyway and my mom said we could let him inside if he sanitized, but he came with his mother and didn't get out of the car, we just exchanged the gifts, and honestly I was glad, i was polite and just said hi to both and thanks and all! Obviously i love him a lot bc we're close but idk why i didnt want him to come into my house i just feel like im so boring now and I dont know what we couldve talked abt and honestly ive always been shy but now i just forgot how to socialize and i was terrified so when he didnt get out i was just glad.....well, also

I feel like all of these incidents separated me and my friend who had her birthday on december. Now she wouldn't join the vc or gc often (or say she couldn't, which she usually did before) so I just assumed she hated me, but i didn't really have the guts to ask? She still liked my memes on the gc sometimes but not as she used to, she always used to like every single meme (or nearly all) and she never talked over me (I always get talked over except when I'm drunk bc i become a bit less shy therefore more violent) and would even call others out for me when talked over and always respected everything i told her abt me (Through the years, i've told her some of my deepest shits bc i just trust her like that i dont mind if she knows) but it just felt distant? Also a bit before that, at the start of december we started streaming on twitch, and that week i was very bad I told her i wouldn't play much bc i wasnt doing well but I was up for streaming bc i rly wanted to be professional abt it even if we dont pursue it as a career, but in the end we didnt stream, and fell out of streaming a bit after that. I was kind of afraid to ask her if she wanted to stream again, but we'd talked once and she said she'd finally gotten the cat earphones for the streams (she mentioned she wanted them beforehand) yeah anyways i dont think she actually hates hates me but idk the idea still lingers in my mind

uh yeah also i felt like shit for a bit bc i thought she definetely hated me bc we hadnt talked in a bit and she didnt like my memes anymore so i just assumed the worst, i even listened to break up music (which is what i do when a friendship ends bc altough ive never rly had strong romantic feelings for anyone that kind of song helps me move on after friend breakups too bc no one warns you abt how painful these are) and i cried obviously, but again i never mentioned it to anyone (i made a few vague textposts here though) and just got my shit together even if it hurt? lol, well a bit of time passes and everything seems to go back to normal, i dont remember how she told us but she said she had a job now which is why she didnt connect much and slept earlier and i felt relief lol bc i legit thought she hated me and i felt like shit abt it lol i mean the idea they kinda hate me lingers in my mind all the time but at that point in life i was like. SURE she hated me until that point. now we ocasionally play genshin together but i cant really talk at that time and that also makes me upset bc i do wake up late and im trying to fix my schedule a bit by waking up at 2pm instead of 5 pm but it doesnt even matter bc i play board games with my grandma daily (bc its good for her and its fun i do enjoy it) i just wish we could do it earlier bc lately she gets up at like 9pm and i end up finishing playing at 11/12/1 and its just kinda late to meet w my friends bc i always have smth to do/finish after and i just cant make it in time even if i wake up earlier? lol but i cant change her schedule so theres nothing i can do but cry about it

oh also ik matsunoadvice gave me advice on this but like there's this friend who i love obviously but sometimes he just talks abt his meetings w other friends and like it only makes me angry as fuck and i cant ask him to not bc im too shy but i wish he could stop. and also when he complains abt skate related stuff it makes me unexplainably angry but like i have no reason or right to im just angry bc i cant do that and probably never will bc i doubt ill ever be able to go out again ?? lol. and he even offered like "when we go out again u should come and ill lend u my skate and if u like it u can get one" and honestly its all super nice and i appreciate it and ive thanked him and told him yes but it just makes me feel angry inside bc i dont see an ending with all the mutations and shit and my voice cracks when i tell him haha yeah if we ever meet again bc honestly my youth is already over and i just spent it like a social recluse and i read a post here when i was younger that said like lgbt people spend their teens closeted and ashamed and live their teens in their twenties but now im gonna miss my twenties to the pandemic and then ill be too fucking old and itll be too fucking late and ill have to die and i just never lived bc i still havent even transitioned yet and i doubt ill ever be able to (this also causes me a lot of pain but i will ignore it) and the other day he said like i hope i can see u this year bc i miss u and i just said that honestly ive lost all hope of ever seeing anyone again and my voice cracked and my other friend said something related but not so related and im just glad he talked in bc i didnt rly care i just wanted to change the topic bc i know ill never see them again and eventually probably lose contact and see them all have fun together without me just as if i was dead but just didnt pass away and its difficult but i have to accept it and it hurts a lot now but in 7 years itll be fine, just like i accepted im unlovable and will never have a s/o and when i was 12 that hurt a lot but now it doesnt so someday i will be alone but i hope it doesnt hurt anymore.

this is all a mess and the format is everywhere and theres no timeline i hope no one reads it. if u do read it im sorry. i just honestly been carrying all of this for a while now and i want it out of my system honestly bc i dont know what to do with it and i was on the verge of a breakdown for a minimal thing hours ago i just want all this info out of my brain.....also obv these are only the bad things that have happened/good things that took me out of the hole but a lot of good things happened too lol and i skipped a lot of imp points like i changed careers and shit and also i met a lot of cool mutuals since i got back to tumblr and ososan been carrying my mental health every monday but yeah i just wanted the negatives out of the system. the frustrations and the anger. i hope no one reads this fr its so messy

[disabilitymissunderstood]

welp you guys been requesting me to do one, so here i did! enjoy!

1: Full name

Amy)I prefer alex) Kathrine 

2: Age/20

3: 3 Fears

men(i am working on it), small spaces and being forgotten

4: 3 things I love

animals, music, baking/cooking

5: 4 turns on

being held, kissing, hugging, and smiling

6: 4 turns off

yelling, being lied too, betrayal, being mean

7: My best friend

my dog

8: Sexual orientation

 g-a-y (remember i am both genders)

9: My best first date

never been on  a date D:

10: How tall am I

5′4 i am short :c

11: What do I miss

the old me, and my brother Micheal.

12: What time were I born

in the morning (dont know the time)

13: Favourite color

 red, black, grey, and white

14: Do I have a crush

yesss

15: Favorite quote

“people don’t die from suicide, they die from sadness”

16: Favourite place 

library, hot topic, humane society, pet-co/pet smart, cuddling with Gracie, in bed.

17: Favourite food

 pastaa and rice

18: Do I use sarcasm

A L W A Y S

19: What am I listening to right now

 never to late by three days grace

20: First thing I notice in new person

 there attitude 

21: Shoe size/ 8

22: Eye color/  B R O W N

23: Hair color/ B R O W N

24: Favourite style of clothing

anything from Hot topic/spencers

25: Ever done a prank call?

maybe when i was younger??

27: Meaning behind my URL/

i am disabled and just wanna let others that are aswell its okay to be different, you’re not alone<3

28: Favourite movie/ dogs purpose

29: Favourite song/ to many

30: Favourite band/ lots

31: How I feel right now

my neck is killing me >:(

32: Someone I love/ my dog

33: My current relationship status/ S I N G L E

34: My relationship with my parents/ good?

35: Favorite holiday

Christmas, thanksgiving, and Halloween

36: Tattoos and piercing i have

 piercings- my boobs, my septum and my ears (i plan on getting more) and tattoos i haven’t gotten around yet

37: Tattoos and piercing i want/ check my blog

38: The reason I joined Tumblr

just to have a place to express my feelings and likes

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?

Y E S 

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

Sometimes

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

yesss

42: When did I last hold hands?

yesterday!

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

like 10 mins

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?

yus

45: Where am I right now?

in bed

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

my brothers

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

loud

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

currently living w my mom but i am going to be moving into my apartment soon!

49: Am I excited for anything?

moving into my apartment soon! also applying for college soon!

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

yes!

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?

L O T S 

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?

today

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

i would be balling rn

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

yes

55: What is something I disliked about today?

nothing

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

mmm good question, probably ronnie radke

57: What do I think about most?

my future and sometimes my past...

58: What’s my strangest talent?

breathing

59: Do I have any strange phobias?

small places

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

some days behind it, others in front of it

61: What was the last lie I told?

mmmmm im not sure

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

texting

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

yes yes

64: Do I believe in magic?

yes

65: Do I believe in luck?

for other people? yes, but for me? no

66: What’s the weather like right now?

its storming (rain and thunder)

67: What was the last book I’ve read?

fifty shades of grey ^_^

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

yes ;,,,,;

69: Do I have any nicknames?

little one, poobear, princess

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

cut on my neck, deep scar on my arm, and my head

71: Do I spend money or save it?

save it 

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?

no

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?

no

74: Favourite animal?

slothes are so cute! (i generally don’t have a favorite animal i love all)

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

watching netflix

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

mmm don’t know

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

sunflower by post malone

78: How can you win my heart?

by me food and show me u actually love me

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

“she was a hero”

80: What is my favorite word?

F U C K

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

@foodie4ever @tropiclyy @sadviolences @traaumaa @beyondbrokenvixi

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

fuck you T R U  M P

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?

don’t know

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

let me fly xD

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

good question, i am not sure.

86: What is my current desktop picture?

my dog

87: Had sex?

Y E S

88: Bought condoms?

mhm

89: Gotten pregnant?

almost

90: Failed a class?

yes :)

91: Kissed a boy?

yes 

92: Kissed a girl?

yus

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

yes

94: Had job?

yes

95: Left the house without my wallet?

many times lmao

96: Bullied someone on the internet?

never

97: Had sex in public?

god no

98: Played on a sports team?

yes

99: Smoked weed?

yes 

100: Did drugs?

yes

101: Smoked cigarettes?

yes

102: Drank alcohol?

yes

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

V E G A N

104: Been overweight?

yes but currently trying to lose it!

105: Been underweight?

i used to be skinny...(used to be anorexic)

106: Been to a wedding?

yes

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

yes

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

yes

109: Been outside my home country?

yes

110: Gotten my heart broken?

many times

111: Been to a professional sports game?

yes

112: Broken a bone?

yes

113: Cut myself?

i still struggle with it..

114: Been to prom?

no

115: Been in airplane?

yes

116: Fly by helicopter?

yes

117: What concerts have I been to?

marianatrench, post malone, nickleback, miley cyrus, and justin bieber-

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

yes

119: Learned another language?

yes

120: Wore make up?

still do

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?

yes

122: Had oral sex?

yes

123: Dyed my hair?

many times

124: Voted in a presidential election?

yes

125: Rode in an ambulance?

yes

126: Had a surgery?

yes

127: Met someone famous?

yes

128: Stalked someone on a social network?

god no

129: Peed outside?

camping...

130: Been fishing?

love it

131: Helped with charity?

always

132: Been rejected by a crush?

yes

133: Broken a mirror?

yes

134: What do I want for birthday?

happinesss

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?

i want atleast 4 or 6..

136: Was I named after anyone?

my grandfather(my dads dad) mother

137: Do I like my handwriting?

sure

138: What was my favourite toy as a child?

barbie

139: Favourite Tv Show?

IZombie and big mouth

140: Where do I want to live when older?

in the country.

141: Play any musical instrument?

piano and drums

142: One of my scars, how did I get it?

self-harm

143: Favourite pizza toping?

everything that isn’t meat

144: Am I afraid of the dark?

nah

145: Am I afraid of heights?

yes

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

when i was 12

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

yes

148: What I’m really bad at

not yelling

149: What my greatest achievments are

graduating treatment 

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me

“hey, i fucked your dead brother last night” ( a bully said that to me )

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery

buy so many cane corsos

152: What do I like about myself

my personality 

153: My closest Tumblr friend

don’t have one

154: Something I fantasise about

a better life

155: Any question you’d like?

anything!

[flakandforay]

11 Questions Tag

 Post the rules  Answer the questions given to you by the tagger  Write 11 questions of your own  Tag 11 people

tagged by @beeguks thanks bub 💕

1. Are your nails currently painted? If so, what color are they now? If not, how long have your nails been un-painted?

as of now, nope they aren't. it has been about 4 months since i last painted them in June.

2. Where would prefer typing on? your cellphone or your laptop?

cellphone if i am communicating with others but blogging wise, definitely on my mac

3. `Favorite non-kpop song

oh this is hard, hmm Fall Out Boy- Alone Together and also Tove Lo - Talking Body

4. Do you play mobile/online games?

not anymore, my 16gb phone has little storage 

5. What trait/habit of your ult. bias do you hate the most?

jimin being really insecure, it cant be helped but ahhh i want to comfort him and say he's the best already

6. Summer or Rainy days?

rainy!! hands down!!

7. Do you prefer studying in your room or somewhere else like a quiet library or a nice coffee shop?

i mean i prefer studying at home but then again i wouldn't mind studying in a nice coffee shop as long as they dont chase me out

8. Which do you prefer: iPhone or Android phones?

iPhone always.

9. How long have you been in love/stanned your ult. bias?

over 2 years already

10. Which type of fan are you: “(idol) just posted something 5 seconds ago! must see!” or “it’s been five days/weeks/months since (idol) posted (something) and i haven’t even seen/watched/heard it”?

lmao im the posted 5 seconds ago person tbh

11. If you were given a chance to personally meet your bias during their fanmeet, what would you give them/ what would you want to ask/tell them up close?

i would want to tell jimin how much i admire him and to thank him really for being genuine etc and ask for a picture ha aha ha ( i will pray for this day )

welp so this is the end.

tagging @jeonseok @btsfanficss @seouledsoul2kpop @fightmejeonkook @bangtansohotdamn @jiminder @eureka-its-zico @btsofmylife and anyone else who wants to do it !!!!!

questions:

how are you feeling today? was there anything that stressed you out?

would you say that you are happy right now?

how did you manage to find your bias group?

what is one thing that you appreciate of your bias group musically?

books or movies?

what is the most likely thing you would be doing on a Saturday night?

what are you currently doing? ( school/work )

what are the words of comfort do you want to hear right now?

family or friends?

do you have a bias wrecker? if so, why is he/she your bias wrecker?

halloween or christmas?

[eluu-chan]

All the asks. ALL OF THEM >:D

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?

only yesterday I was alone singing in butchered Japanese to the love live soundtrack, I also hum the x-flies theme a lot lmao

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?

do people actually like me or is it all fake?

daisies: - already done ~

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?

maybe my latest concert, or any discord chat tbh

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?

probably not, I am but a smol bean still, I can’t change much about the way I live anyway

black nail polish: - already done ~

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.

well they’re adorable, no matter how much they protest. They get excited about things but apologise and i’m like “nO BE EXCITED DoNT APOLOGISE”. they make me smile, make me laugh, and I feel happier when I talk to them.

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?

I guess? I look pretty happy in all my baby photos, now is a little less exciting though.

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?

idk tbh, I tend to keep it in until i’m alone

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.

hmm maybe @naomacat​ because philosophical conversations about alternate universes and reincarnation is perfect for that

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?

nooooooooo I have to be comfortable talking to you to open up at all

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?

I can’t even stay awake until 3am so,i  don’t think I’ve ever had a 3am conversation

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?

i’d probably send a group message to the chat ngl, just like a simple goodbye

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?

t-there’s an opinion on this? they’re eyes my dude all colours are good

sunrise: - already done ~

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?

‘Why do I have no money’

overalls: - already done ~

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?

I forgive too much for my own good, and i hate it

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?

hmm probably more punk, but I aspire to be pastel

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.

👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌there👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?

 I don’t own any makeup, and I don’t really like the feeling of wearing it either

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.

‘stop being a bunch of dicks’

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.

BFMV/ Killswitch Engage/ Cane Hill

Avenged Sevenfold/ Disturbed/In Flames

Tonight Alive/ You Me At Six

Iron Maiden/Shinedown

Concerts make me feel happy I like them

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?

hmm maybe Ash Costello and have her tell me i’m appreciated

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?

nope ~ my bed is my desk tbh, I do all my work on it

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine?

brush my teeth, brush my hair and tie it up, use up any remaining LP on llsif, and then lie in bed scrolling through tumblr until I fall asleep

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?

I’m gay

beaches: - already done ~

eyes: - already done ~

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.

- to meet internet friendos

- to be left alone at school

- uh idk what else to wish for tbh

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.

probably my dead Cinderella when I was like 7

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?

hello yes I’m 14

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?

fly on a plane

storms: you can only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?

hmm for the song it would either be mirai ticket or mermaid festa vol.1, for person, i’m not really sure :0

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love.

nope ~ never had a crush or romantic feeling in my life, all platonic at this point

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?

hmm, idk if I would suit short hair, but I would totally do it

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?

I don’t go to starbucks, I go to costa because it’s slightly cheaper. but I get a Belgian chocolate shake with extra cream

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

The fafiya chat, and all the people in it, they’re keeping me sane and happy

[communistsinthegazebo]

All the ones you are willing to answer.

oh man here we go.

1:   Name

avery

2:   Age

17

3:   3 Fears

everyone hating me, closing my eyes in a group of people, eels

4:   3 things I love

dogs, theatre, lavender

5:   4 turns on

knowing that I’m turning somebody else on, neck kisses, sex voices (u know what i mean idk how to describe that), aaaand idk.6:   4 turns off

people being dumb, people being Problematic™, idk what else.

7:   My best friend

lol what?

8:   Sexual orientation

queer as heck.

9:   My best first date

 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

10:   How tall am I

5′11″

11:   What do I miss

idk man…

12:   What time were I born

i were born at 2:11pm.

13:   Favorite color

 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

14:   Do I have a crush

yes :)

15:   Favorite quote

“We must risk delight” -A Brief for the Defense by Jack Gilbert

16:   Favorite place

The bottom of the grand canyon.

17:   Favorite food

who knows

18:   Do I use sarcasm

who, me? hell no never.

19:   What am I listening to right now

my spanish teacher trying to keep a straight face while talking about promiscuity

20:   First thing I notice in new person

probably voice 

21:   Shoe size

womens 10.5, mens 9

22:   Eye color

hazel

23:   Hair color

blondish brownish

24:   Favorite style of clothing

um. comfortable and black?

25:   Ever done a prank call?

yeah in sixth grade.

27:   Meaning behind my URL

apparently it’s a euphemism for being on your period and i thought it was amazing.

28:   Favorite movie

idk!! currently probably moonlight.

29:   Favorite song

idk thats too hard

30:   Favorite band

see 29

31:   How I feel right now

kinda disappointed kinda stressed kinda happy

32:   Someone I love

my dogs

33:   My current relationship status

;)

34:   My relationship with my parents

pretty decent usually

35:   Favorite holiday

idk, halloween?

36:   Tattoos and piercing i have

ears, stick-n-poke of a triangle

37:   Tattoos and piercing i want

lots!!

38:   The reason I joined Tumblr

my ex told me to

39:   Do I and my last ex hate each other?

nah we’re friends!

40:   Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

yes :)

41:   Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

it’s @thepinkat and nope

42:   When did I last hold hands?

I think i held @thee-apocalypto‘s hand after the show on sunday?

43:   How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

an hour if I’m being leisurely, 15 minutes if i overslept and I’m rushing

44:   Have I shaved your legs in the past three days?

hell nah

45:   Where am I right now?

spanish class

46:   If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

dunno

47:   Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

loud unless I’m trying to do something else at the same time

48:   Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

yep

49:   Am I excited for anything?

I’m going on a college tour trip soon! and i have some packages arriving today so i can do more bookbinding

50:   Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

i don’t really tell everything to anyone.

51:   How often do I wear a fake smile?

 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

52:   When was the last time I hugged someone?

yesterday

53:   What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

I’d probably be a lil iffy but not really care

54:   Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

nah

55:   What is something I disliked about today?

my social justice class was dumb and pointless and we just talked about catholic social teaching

56:   If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

57:   What do I think about most?

a certain person and also theatre and also all the shit i have to get done

58:   What’s my strangest talent?

i can whistle a tune through my nose but not my mouth

59:   Do I have any strange phobias?

i dont think so

60:   Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind!!

61:   What was the last lie I told?

 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

62:   Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

phone! i dont want to see my face.

63:   Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

i dont think I’m in a position to say either one does or doesn’t exist

64:   Do I believe in magic?

sure. putting intention toward something can’t hurt.

65:   Do I believe in luck?

 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

66:   What’s the weather like right now?

cloudy

67:   What was the last book I’ve read?

im re-reading game of thrones rn

68:   Do I like the smell of gasoline?

ew no.

69:   Do I have any nicknames?

my mom calls me Aves, @gayjokes has me in their phone as “the swaggle”

70:   What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

idk i got nerve damage in my shoulder when i was a kid

71:   Do I spend money or save it?

spend it

72:   Can I touch my nose with a tongue?

nope

73:   Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?

nope

74:   Favorite animal?

idk!

75:   What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

listening to a podcast with my dog and trying to fall asleep

76:   What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

trump

77:   What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

theres a girl by the ditty bops

78:   How can you win my heart?

already answered

79:   What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

80:   What is my favorite word?

hmmmmmm idk rn im really liking eloquence

81:   My top 5 blogs on tumblr

 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

82:   If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

shit i can’t think of this off the top of my head. but probably “please stop killing people”

83:   Do I have any relatives in jail?

i think so yeah but my mom doesn’t talk about him 

84:   I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

invisibility

85:   What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

answered

86:   What is my current desktop picture?

yosemite

87:   Had sex?

yup

88:   Bought condoms?

nope

89:   Gotten pregnant?

nope

90:   Failed a class?

nope

91:   Kissed a boy?

only in truth or dare in middle school

92:   Kissed a girl?

yep 

93:   Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

yep

94:   Had job?

yep

95:   Left the house without my wallet?

yep

96:   Bullied someone on the internet?

nope

97:   Had sex in public?

nope

98:   Played on a sports team?

yep

99:   Smoked weed?

no comment

100:   Did drugs?

nope

101:   Smoked cigarettes?

nope

102:   Drank alcohol?

no comment

103:   Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

vegetarian

104:   Been overweight?

nope

105:   Been underweight?

slightly

106:   Been to a wedding?

yep

107:   Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

probably at some point

108:   Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

nope

109:   Been outside my home country?

yep

110:   Gotten my heart broken?

yep

111:   Been to a professional sports game?

yep

112:   Broken a bone?

nope

113:   Cut myself?

yep

114:   Been to prom?

nope

115:   Been in airplane?

yep

116:   Fly by helicopter?

nope

117:   What concerts have I been to?

paramore, metric, fall out boy, panic at the disco, MS MR, twenty one pilots, melissa ethridge (my middle school country phase lmao), death cab for cutie

118:   Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

yep

119:   Learned another language?

yep

120:   Wore make up?

yep

121:   Lost my virginity before I was 18?

yep

122:   Had oral sex?

yep

123:   Dyed my hair?

yep

124:   Voted in a presidential election?

nope

125:   Rode in an ambulance?

yep

126:   Had a surgery?

do tonsils count

127:   Met someone famous?

nope

128:   Stalked someone on a social network?

yep

129:   Peed outside?

camping, yeah

130:   Been fishing?

when i was little

131:   Helped with charity?

yep

132:   Been rejected by a crush?

yep

133:   Broken a mirror?

nope

134:   What do I want for birthday?

well shit idk

[imnotsebastiansten]

38 - about 2018

JANUARY 2018 Where did you go on new year’s? i stayed home Who kissed you on new year’s? no one lmao Did you have a New Year’s Resolution this year? neh Does it snow where you live? yes it does, but im not sure we had snow in january 2019 Do you like hot chocolate? fuck yes Have you ever been to Times Square to watch the ball drop? no Is January anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.) hmm yea, i started talking to loveless in january but in 2019 not 2018, i have some friends who are born in january, one of my favorite actors in also born in january (hale appleman)

FEBRUARY 2018 Were you single? yep Who was your Valentine? no one When you were little did you buy Valentine’s for the whole class? neh we dont do that here Do you care if the groundhog sees its shadow or not? what What did you receive for Valentine’s day? nothing What did you give for Valentine’s Day? nothing Is February anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.) one of my good friends birthday is in february MARCH 2018 Are you Irish? no Do you like corned beef and cabbage? no What did you do for St Patrick’s Day? we dont celebrate it Are you happy when winter is pretty much over? in march 2018 we had fucking snow so it was far from being over APRIL 2018 Do you like the rain? depends Did you play an April fool’s joke on anyone this year? if i had the opportunity to make a prank i did, i didnt plan anything in advance tho Do you get tons of candy for Easter? eh not really Do you celebrate 4/20? nope im not 12 Do you love the month of April? its fine i guess Is April anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.) i met sebastian stan in april 2018 heck yes MAY 2018 What is your favorite flower? sun flower Finish the phrase “April showers…” no Do you celebrate May 16th: National Piercing Day? i didnt know it was a thing Is May anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.) comic con takes place in may JUNE 2018 What year did/will you graduate from high school? 2020 Did you do anything fun during this Month? not really i was still in school for the most part of it Have a favorite baseball team? neh Is June anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.) just the fact that school is over is enough for me JULY 2018 What did you do on the 4th of July? nothing special Did you go to the fireworks? no Did you blast the A/C all day? i dont have an ac Is July anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.) my moms birthday AUGUST 2018 Did you have a sunburn? no, im really proud i could keep my pale self away from the sun Did you go to the pool a lot? not even once Did you go out of town? yes, i went to two camps Is August anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.) i know quite a lot of people who were born in august

SEPTEMBER 2018 Are you attending college/school? unfortunately Do you like fall better than summer? sort of but only because its not as hot, fall has its own cons What happened this month? nothing as far as i remember OCTOBER 2018 Whats your favorite candy? kit kat What was your favorite thing(s)about this month? not sure i think the parks were pretty because of the colorful leaves and everything What are you planning to be for Halloween? nothing i dont celebrate it Are you going to be trick or treating? never been and most likely neve will NOVEMBER 2018

Whose house do you go to for Thanksgiving? we dont celebrate it

What are you going thankful for this year? meeting sebastian stan and getting a cat Do you love stuffing? never had it Anything exciting happen this month? i got a cat!!!! Is November anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.) got a damn cat DECEMBER 2014 Do you celebrate Christmas? sort of Have you ever been kissed under the mistletoe? no Get anything special last year? not really What do you want this year? idk What do you love most about December? the fact that for the most of it i dont have to go to school Is December anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.) my birthday i guess