#also ive been doing stuff for it since like 2018 isnt that fucking crazy

[soft-spooks]

OH MY GOD I HAVE AN UNWATCHED GF EPISODE STILL. I FORGOT ABOUTNTHE SEASON FINALE.

[swyllh]

i spent a ridiculously long time agonizing over this, but 2 + minghao for the 100 ways to say i love you thing!

(2. “this reminded me of you.”)

premise: minghao can’t let go.

pairing: minghao x reader

genre: angst, textfic

tw: major character death, lots of swearing.

10 february 2018

minghao [1102]: hey

minghao [1102]: ITS YA BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

minghao [1102]: img1834.jpg

minghao [1104]: i set your phone to silent

minghao [1104]: this doesnt work when ur phone is ringign

minghao [1105]: haha

minghao [1105]: thats actually q funny wtf

minghao [1106]: like

minghao [1106]: lets pretend to talk to u like ur alive

minghao [1106]: while ur phone is ringing next to me

minghao [1107]: ………….

minghao [1110]: yeah i don’t kno wwhy im doing this

minghao [1111]: dr lee said i t would be good

minghao [1111]: oh 11111

minghao [1111]: 1111*

minghao [1111]: u used to wish on them

minghao [1112]: i thought it was so stupid

minghao [1112]: still think its sutpid 

minghao [1113]: man its so hard

minghao [1113]: m so used to u biting my head of f

minghao [1113]: i miss you

minghao [1115]: i miss you so much

minghao [2032]: k SO

minghao [2032]: i finally got to finidhign

minghao [2032]: all the fuckdifnf funrrrl 

minghao [2033]: moeny

minghao [2033]: haaaaaaaaaaaaahha

minghao [2033]: djd y inow funerla s cost soc much

minghao [2033]: 3000 %94_43?@589;@(p;%

minghao [2033]: ‘’’’’’’’

minghao [2034]: $7_*

minghao [2034]: $7__________________________*

11 february 2018

minghao [1422]: fuck

minghao [1422]: seems like drunk me couldnt turn back

minghao [1422]: the keyborad

minghao [1422]: keyboard*

minghao [1422]: lmao

minghao [1426]: this is actually fucking funny

minghao [1426]: but what i wanted to say was

minghao [1426]: cremations cost like 100000

minghao [1426]: ……………..

minghao [1426]: did i extra type

minghao [1427]: u dont even give shits about numbers

minghao [1427]: rmb that time

minghao [1427]: you like,, frget the decimal

minghao [1427]: we ended up donating like half our rent

minghao [1430]: about rent

minghao [1431]: do i sell this house now

minghao [1431]: i mean i like it

minghao [1431]: its close to the metro, theres two supermarkets, a library

minghao [1432]: but its also hell to get to work

minghao [1432]: mine not urs

minghao [1432]: ……..technially its not a house

minghao [1432]: god how do u still osund so bitchy after death

minghao [1443]: also moving out will mean moving your stuff too

minghao [1447]: idk i dont want to think about that

minghao [1820]: img1886.jpg 

minghao [1821]: the sunset today is so beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

minghao [1821]: fuck

minghao [1822]: img1887.jpg

minghao [1822]: img1888.jpg

minghao [1823]: img1889.jpg

minghao [1823]: which one

minghao [1823]: for insta

minghao [1824]: should i do a collage

minghao [2311]: 1111

12 february 2018

minghao [0608]: going out fr a run

minghao [1050]: ur mum wants to meet

minghao [1050]: think she wants to get ur stuff back

minghao [1111]: 1111

minghao [1111]: your mum says youre in heaven

minghao [1112]: she misses you a lot

minghao [1115]: ha fuck

minghao [1115]: next thing i know im gonna be waiting for you to text back

minghao [1251]: what do i say

minghao [1251]: screenshot_89.jpg

minghao [1251]: “sure!” ?

minghao [1252]: is it too morbid to add an exclamation mark

minghao [1252]: ???

minghao [1252]: sure.

minghao [1253]: the fullstop looks mean

minghao [1253]: ………………

minghao [1255]: god why cant she just

minghao [1255]: i said ‘sure’ w the fullstop

minghao [1255]: screenshot_90.jpg

minghao [1256]: what do i say now?????

minghao [1256]: why cant she get her own imaginary u

minghao [1256]: smh

13 february 2018

minghao [1637]: just got out of therapy

minghao [1637]: dr lee was talking abt the 5 stages of grief

minghao [1637]: kind of zoned out

minghao [1638]: was cool tho

minghao [1638]: youd like that psychology talk

minghao [1639]: can u imagine someone

minghao [1639]: a scientist

minghao [1639]: just going up to grieving people

minghao [1639]: like “hey can i know how ur feeling”

minghao [1639]: checking in every five days

minghao [1640]: or getting them to jorunal

minghao [1643]: kind of what i’m doing

minghao [1644]: but fuck if i let u become a memopad

minghao [1648]: anyway the bus is here

minghao [1648]: think ill sleep 

minghao [1946]: how the fuck

minghao [1946]: do u eat so much rice

minghao [1946]: i cooked exact as usual

minghao [1947]: img1890.jpg

minghao [1947]: r u fcuking kidding me

minghao [2313]: soz i missed

minghao [2313]: 1113?

minghao [2313]: at least its not 1112

minghao [2313]: 1113 is like a deliberate delay

minghao [2314]: a statement against the futility of numbers. freewill vs fate, control and determination. 

minghao [2314]: ok im sorry thts bullshit

minghao [2316]: i wont miss it again

14 february 2018

minghao [0028]: fuck

minghao [0028]: its valentines day

minghao [0028]: fucccccccccccck

minghao [0028]: everynes gonna be gross

minghao [0029]: ugh

minghao [0029]: like us

minghao [0029]: sto p soudnign so smug.

minghao [0812]: i still cant believe they skated to yoi 

minghao [0812]: what a time to be alive

minghao [0816]: ur probably so pissed that ur missing the olympics

minghao [0819]: i just checked, mens singles is on the 16th 

minghao [0819]: bet u chen rekts hanyu 

minghao [0820]: actually, no

minghao [0820]: youll cry if he does

minghao [0824]: god how many posters of hanyu do you have

minghao [0828]: youll cry if i take them down

minghao [0828]: p sure if u had any say

minghao [0828]: ud want them to paste it all over ur tomb

minghao [0829]: ………………

minghao [0830]: right now im really really hoping you dont hav some weird will that wants me to do that

minghao [0831]: ur so gross

minghao [0831]: ur room is so gross

minghao [1215]: i cant do this

minghao [1215]: ur room smells like you

minghao [1216]: fucking nivea extra fresh

minghao [1216]: cant believe im cryign over deoderent 

minghao [1217]: deodorant

minghao [1217]: even the word is gross

minghao [2311]: 1111 

minghao [2311]: i miss you. 

minghao [2312]: spent the day in your study

minghao [2312]: your mum is coming over on saturday so i packed a bit

minghao [2320]: ok i lied

minghao [2320]: i cried all over your things

minghao [2321]: how

minghao [2321]: how do you just keep crying

minghao [2321]: i should be dehydrated by nw

minghao [2322]: fuck

minghao [2322]: think im crying again

minghao [2322]: is it possible to die from crying so mcuh

minghao [2323]: i miss you

minghao [2323]: the bed is so cold

minghao [2326]: i miss you. so much. all the time.

15 february 2018

minghao [1128]: they’re going to terminate the contract on your phone

minghao [1128]: and then i wont be able to message you like this

minghao [1129]: i panicked and called dr lee

minghao [1129]: she said it was a good thing

minghao [1130]: fuck this

minghao [1130]: i know it isnt like ur gonna text back

minghao [1130]: but 

minghao [1131]: i hear your voice and it makes me safe

minghao [1131]: like youre here

minghao [1132]: fuck.

minghao [1516]: so i forgot to water your cactus

minghao [1516]: its dead

minghao [1516]: sorry

minghao [1517]: maybe oyull take better care of it now

minghao [1517]: actually

minghao [1517]: do plants go to heaven 

minghao [1518]: they can right

minghao [1518]: since they were once alive

minghao [1518]: lol

minghao [1520]: that means books cant

minghao [1520]: god it must be so boring up there

minghao [1522]: unless heaven has their own publishing company

minghao [1538]: or phone service

minghao [1540]: is that why you cant text me back

minghao [1540]: cos im texting the wrong number

minghao [1541]: i swear if u pull a new phone hoo dis

minghao [1542]: …. i cant even kill u

minghao [1542]: or its like overkill

minghao [1543]: jesus

minghao [1546]: youre always one step ahead of me huh

16 february 2018 

minghao [1741]: happy lunar new year

minghao [1741]: i went to your mum’s. we watched yuzuru hanyu.

minghao [1742]: ok FINE he won okay

minghao [1742]: nathan chen fucked up 

minghao [1742]: did u mess with him from above

minghao [1743]: thats not a fair win ok

minghao [1750]: your mum started crying in the middle of lunch.

minghao [1750]: she cooked all your favourite foods.

minghao [1751]: fuck you.

minghao [1803]: im sorry i dont mean that 

minghao [1803]: i love you

minghao [1804]: i love you

minghao [1804]: i lov eyou 

minghao [1804]: i love you 

minghao [2203]: ive been thinking

minghao [2204]: its getting hard to

minghao [2204]: talk to you 

minghao [2204]: at you, like this

minghao [2206]: im not

minghao [2206]: this sounds bad

minghao [2207]: it probably is 

minghao [2207]: every time. i do. its like.

minghao [2207]: i know youre not going to reply.

minghao [2208]: i knw youre dead

minghao [2213]: youre dead

minghao [2218]: but i miss you so much and it doesnt stop there and i still love you but your phone is still lighting up i still keep it charged and every time i try to talk about you its hard to not feel like im being ripped out from inside and i lov eyou still 

minghao [2224]: i dont want to forget you.

minghao [2248]: i dont want to wake up one day and not think of you and meet someone else and fall in love with them and throw all your things away and forget how you look like

minghao [2255]: i forgot wwhat you looked like this morning

minghao [2256]: i was looking at a photo of us

minghao [2256]: and for a moment i thought you looked strange

minghao [2257]: like, was your nose /that big

minghao [2257]: HAHAHAHAHA jk

minghao [2259]: i almost lost it. i wanted to break things and 

minghao [2302]: i dont want to say it

minghao [2311]: 1111

minghao [2312]: good night.

17 february 2018

minghao [1050]: your mum’s here

minghao [1050]: im so nervous haha wtf

minghao [2047]: the whole house is so empty wow

minghao [2047]: it’s so crazy 

minghao [2048]: but ur yuzuru posters left marks on the wall 

minghao [2048]: :p

minghao [2051]: its so weird 

minghao [2052]: its like youre not here

minghao [2055]: dr lee says its a step forward but i feel like somethings missing. and that things are going to fuck themselves up now.

minghao [2104]: its like i can hear everything now that all ur files and stuff are gone

minghao [2110]: this house is too big for me

minghao [2111]: shold i get a dog?

minghao [2111]: what if it dies

minghao [2111]: your plant died

minghao [2112]: bc i didnt water it

minghao [2114]: did you die because i didnt love you enough

minghao [2115]: the last thing we fought over was so stupid

minghao [2115]: it was about bills right

minghao [2117]: are you still pissed about that

minghao [2118]: im sorry.

18 february 2018

minghao [0233]: im unplugging your phone.

minghao [0234]: the contract’s expiring soon anyway.

minghao [0234]: so.

minghao [0240]: you’re at 76%. 

minghao [0240]: so this is kind of anticlimactic

minghao [0252]: i think ive spent too long holding you back

minghao [0252]: your mum gave me that look when she found out i was texting you.

minghao [0254]: im just scared. 

minghao [0255]: i dont want to forget what its like to love you

minghao [0301]: 49%

minghao [0510]: i had a nightmare

minghao [0511]: almost recharged your phone on auto

minghao [0512]: tired.

minghao [0512]: love you.

minghao [1110]: youre on 1%

minghao [1110]: i love you.

minghao [1110]: i love you.

drafts

[!] message undelivered - [1111]: i love you.

[curly-q-reviews]

FLIX FROM THE NET

Bird Box, 2018 (dir. Susanne Bier)

SPOILER WARNING THERE WILL BE SPOILERS DONT READ IF U HAVENT SEEN IT YET AND WANT TO

[TW: SUICIDE, MURDER, VIOLENCE, BLOOD, GORE]

well fuck its been a while!!  happy new year y’all hope u had a Fun and Safe time!!!  i for one was at a party where we started playing Shrek at exactly 10:39 PM to see if Smash Mouth’s hit song I’m a Believer started playing right at midnight and to my utter disbelief and elation it did!!!  move over times square ball drop a new arbitrary way of celebrating the start of a new calendar year is here and it involves a large green monster with a scottish accent who really loves his onions (#me am i right ladies)

WELL ANYWAY heres a fun new series ive been thinking of starting cause ya girl watches a lot of netflix movies and has many opinions about them.  i think i’ll do a separate post about the whole Netflix Original Film trend in general and how its changed the film industry at a later date but since i just watched the above movie not too long ago i wanted to get all my thoughts out there right fuckin now!!

netflix is without a doubt the OG king of streaming services, they were really the first to get the ball rolling and then dozens of other companies scrambled to latch onto this money train while it was rolling on the tracks full steam (or should i say.... stream EL;KGHS;EKFSH; please end me) ahead.  it started out as a rental subscription service where u could pick out three movies at a time to rent and then they were sent to u in the mail (like blockbuster but now you never have to leave your house ever again to get that sweet sweet rental content).  and then the decision was made to actually start online streaming, no physical DVD’s required!  ISNT TECHNOLOGY GREAT

well whoooo boy this shit swept the nation, people couldnt get enough of such a convenient and relatively affordable service and netflix started really raking in the dough.  and at some point they got rich enough to say “hey fuck it!!!  lets make our own movies baby!!!!”  and here we are now with Netflix Original Movies and TV Shows, which means a new player has entered the movie game in a very novel and innovative way.  why pay money for a movie ticket and leave your house to go to a theater when cool new movies are being released on a subscription service u already own to watch movies you already know and enjoy?  and then u can sit butt-ass naked in ur bedroom alone stuffing ur face with cheese puffs like an insatiable cheddar beast and see something new and fun and interesting

ok so.  Bird Box.  here we have a movie based off of a book (so i guess this also counts as a Book Movies review but I DIGRESS) starring hollywood powerhouse sandra bullock, featuring Supreme Lesbian Overlord Sarah Paulson and Resident Crazy Old Man John Malkovich, directed by a relatively unknown but competent female filmmaker Susanne Bier (who also directed Things We Lost in the Fire in 2007, a moving drama starring Halle Berry).  this one definitely has a lot of proimse compared to what netflix has offered so far in terms of their original movies (im gonna get into Dumplin’ at a later date cause jesus christ what a mess) and i went in with pretty high expectations

did it deliver???  well uuhhhh yeah sort of i guess!!  we got some pretty strong performances from our leading lady bullock who really does deliver it every time, a few strong supporting roles like newcomer Trevante Rhodes of Moonlight fame (his energy on screen is just so compelling and soothing), not overly obnoxious child actors which is really all u can ask for, and overall a solid story. 

now heres where i gotta say that i couldnt help comparing this film to another movie of its kind, directed by the notorious M. Night Shyamalan.  y’all remember The Happening?  cause i remember The Happening.  i remember that it was total shit and that the twist was that it was the fucking plants making everyone kill themselves.  the PLANTS.  and i also remember mark wahlbergs dumb-ass confused face that he used in every single shot no matter the context, im AMAZED i remember zoe deschanel in this movie cause she may as well have been one of the killer plants with how little she emoted, and i remember mark wahlberg yelling at a fake office ficus and apparently i was supposed to be scared while watching this clusterfuck. 

the way that this movie was described to me by friends who had seen it before me was basically that Bird Box is a slightly better The Happening, and no truer words have ever been spoken.  we basically have the same premise going on here:  unknown force is causing people to off themselves, our lead(s) have to try and find a way to escape this unknown force without even knowing what it really is, and theres some sort of “sanctuary” they gotta try and get to (which is a common plot point in really all apocalyptic and post-apocalyptic films).  now whereas The Happening’s rules for this scenario make entirely no fucking sense (how in the fuck are u supposed to be able to out-run WIND???), Bird Box has some rules for dealing with this Unknown Thing that make slightly more sense.  when u open ur eyes while outside, the chance of the Thing making u kill urself in some horrific way is extremely high, so wear a blindfold when ur outside and keep all windows covered when ur inside.  makes sense!  thats something i can believe and get behind which makes me more immersed in the story!

unfortunately like The Happening there are still some little things that kinda dont make much sense and take u out of it.  apparently some people when they see this unknown entity dont wanna die, but instead find it absolutely beautiful, which makes them want to make everyone else look at it to see how beautiful it is.  and its insinuated that these people are mentally ill or have some sort of psychiatric issue.  i get that this adds more stakes to the situation and ups the ante, but it doesnt really sit well with me that once again, mentally ill people are the villains in a horror-type story.  and i also dont really understand why theyd then wanna go around and make other people see the thing??  unless the thing has them in a mind-control state or something and is making them do its bidding but that seems kind of a weird thing for an all-powerful evil formless entity to do. 

and that leads me to the next issue i have with Bird Box.  if ur gonna have an apocalyptic scenario where people do something as serious as kill themselves due to an unknown cause, it almost seems a little cliche and cheesy to have it be some sort of mythical celestial god-like or demon-like entity thats doing the damage.  i actually really liked where The Happening was going with its source of all the chaos being something naturally made, like the Earth deploying some sort of self-preservation mechanism or something.  the idea of that to me is actually loads more frightening than some invisible boogeyman that u cant look at.  and then Shamalamadingdong had to go and make it stupid by saying that it was fucking plants trying to kill people by releasing pheromones or some shit.  like why cant we have the best of both of these??  something naturally-occuring that maybe has even happened before in the planets history (maybe it wasnt a meteor that killed off the dinosaurs after all??), that isnt FUCKING PLANTS, and that doesnt do cheesy shit like make ur eyes turn grey and bloodshot and like whisper to u telling u to take ur blindfold off (i swear that happens multiple times it was pretty silly)

thats another thing, this movie’s tone is all over the place.  there are some moments where a more light-hearted tone is needed to break up the tension, for sure, but it almost as if the writing and dialogue werent really taking this serious of a story as seriously as they should have.  weirdly placed jokes are all over the place, there were some moments where the dialogue made me cringe cause it was so awkward.  bullock’s character gets to have some good breakdown moments which help bring the tone to the level of somberness and despair it should be at, but all the other supporting characters dont really get the same space to process whats happening to them, so it kinda comes off like they arent really affected by, say, their wife throwing herself into a burning car right in front of their very eyes. 

overall i’d still say this is a worthwhile watch, especially considering its a netflix movie.  if you’ve ever wanted to see a not-as-horrible version of The Happening that has some deeper metaphorical stuff going on about motherhood and family and shit than this is for you.  the production value is overall pretty solid (though when it comes to cinematography i actually prefer The Happening from an artistic standpoint) and sandra bullock knocks it out of the park.  go check it out if this seems like something thats up ur alley!!

ok bye for now hopefully it doesnt take me six months to write another review but we’ll see!!  my brain is a mystery and time is an illusion HAPPY 20-BI-TEEN Y’ALL