#also its not my favorite format buuuut

[littleplantfreak]

This man plays mermaids with you in the pool/ocean. You've both got your backstories down and magic powers at the ready. He's almost too into it which has you both laughing till you cry and no one has any clue what you're talking about when you bring up the political climate of the summer mermaid isles but you're both having a blast so who care? 10/10

Umemiya, Choji, Suo, Suzuri, Tsugeura

He'll humor you a little and respond when you prompt him, but he either has no clue how to play or really doesn't think this is his thing y'know? It's respectable, and he at least follows the storyline of what you're imagining. You still give him a sick merman name and backstory though.

Sakura, Sugishita, Togame, Hiragi, Kaji (though you swear he wasn't listening to you until he told you there was a hole in your storyline.)

[catchingbigfish]

writer q&a tag game

thank you for the tag, @words-after-midnight!! reading your answers after beta reading libaw is wild, i understand so much now lmao

i'm going to leave this as an open tag for anyone who wants to join!!

1. What is your absolute all-time favorite idea you've ever had?

so it goes, for sure.

2. Is there a question you've been asked in the past that really stands out to you and you still think about sometimes?

this is a weird answer, but an undergrad professor asked if a short story i turned in was the first chapter to a novel. it wasn't, and i tried for years to turn it into one, but he was wrong the whole time -- it was definitely not meant to be a novel. i think about that now because it reminds me that sometimes a story is meant to be a story, or a novel is meant to be a novel, and i don't have to try to shoehorn a story into an inappropriate format. (i have to keep re-learning this lesson, btw. i recently tried *again* to make that thing a novel.)

3. What is your favorite part of being a writer? What parts could you take or leave?

i absolutely love the way writing is an exorcism for me. even my found footage inspired short story helped me excavate and get rid of certain feelings, but on its surface it just seems like a fun horror movie treatment. my favorite part of the process is the language -- i love words and i love rearranging them until they sing off the page. i also find it so much easier to communicate in writing and love how it gives me the chance to connect with people.

the most difficult part of writing for me is not getting lost playing around in the story i've created. keeping a plot moving at a steady pace is my biggest difficulty. i still enjoy the challenge, but if i could just ghostwrite for people with better plots, i might consider it! also, what nico said about the state of publishing is why i stopped writing after college for such a long stretch.

4. What is your greatest motivation to write/create?

it's like scratching an itch for me, honestly. i don't know why i need to write, but i've done it since i was a kid, and it's always been there with me.

5. What is the best piece of advice you've ever read or been given as a writer?

my url is a reference to Catching the Big Fish by David Lynch, my favorite filmmaker. he talks about creativity in it, and full disclosure he is *heavily* into the transcendental meditation cult and credits that as his biggest source of creativity, buuuut what it really did for me was remind me that our imaginations are infinite and incredibly powerful at what it does.

6. What do you wish you knew when you were first starting out writing?

along the same theme as my previous answers: i wish i knew my imagination was enough and i don't have to compare my ideas to others', and that i can trust my own intuition about a story. (repeat after me: elle, that story is a short story, not a fucking novel)

7. What is your favorite story you've written TO COMPLETION? Link it if you'd like and can!

answering so it goes feels like cheating because i don't feel like it's actually complete, but my backup answer is a poem.

8. What is your favorite out-of-the-box quote?

i really like this line from the very first draft of so it goes: "She made her way back out to the street where the sun hadn’t risen and nothing had changed at all."

9. Which of your characters would you say has the most controversial mindset? Why do you say so and how do you personally feel about their ideals?

right now, Rosalyn from conversion is my most interesting character because of this. Rosalyn -- and the rest of the primary characters -- use feminist theory to justify what is essentially health fraud and dangerous alternative medicine beliefs. i don't agree with them, but i fully understand how they got to this perspective, which is why i'm so interested in the topic and am writing it in the first place!

10. If you when you first started writing met you now, what would younger you think?

i don't mean to brag, but my younger self would think my current self rocks so fucking hard lol. to be fair, i had a *very* limited idea of what life could be like, so having cleared that bar she set wouldn't be a challenge to most people! the fact that i still write would be enough for them to fawn over me, i think.

[chaoxfix]

🌿✨️💫

ty for asking!! <3

🌿 how does creating make you feel?

hmmm... interesting question! i think, more than anything else, it makes me feel focused in a way i rarely get otherwise. when im really in the zone i can just write for 3 hours and its all usable, because i know exactly how the characters are behaving and what they need to achieve in this scene. when im unfocused it's difficult to write at all because i lose that channel into my own imagination. and then i feel relieved that it's written and that i succeeded at capturing what i needed to, and glad to share it with others, if its something shareable

✨What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

ohhh ... man, i mean, in a lot of ways i think i'm pretty spoiled. people talk a lot about my fics as it is, so i dont feel like i need to ask for much attention or validation, seeing as im already extremely grateful that so many people like my fics as much as they do.

buuuut, on the other hand, there are patterns of fics that people don't really give a chance.

so i think, i would love it if people got really into prime numbers, or the fic i posted recently with sonic and sally post-genesis wave, or my forces 06 au (still a wip but i lose motivation for it bc. well. its another sally fic that'll get ignored). people just don't really care much about sally.

and on this note, ... id also love it if people liked the one with amy more, the one i did for platonic fairytale week. idk if the name weirded people out (all the titles were from major songs in the disney movie about the same tale) but like. damn. a few people really really loved it (and thats really all i need) but i do think it shows some sad trends. people just don't really read fics about girls as much as they do ones about guys. (the exception seems to be with rouge fics, which perform about as well as other fics.)

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

ahh... for this one, again i will say that i've been VERY spoiled, but there are a few readers who, when they comment, it's frequently like... a 5 page MLA formatted essay analyzing characterization. the type that actually make me red-faced from being perceived, but in a really great way. imagination-junkyard and featheryDragons have left several like that, and every time i see them in my comments i get giddy because they really point out line by line through the entire fic what they like. but because i know those kinds of comments take ages (i know bc ive left comments like that before and . yeah - it takes a long long time, you have to truly love a work to spend that much time reacting, it really is a labor of love) my second favorite type of comment is the ones that tell you a lot about how a line or two made you feel along with just the entire vibe of the fic. <3

though -- its also a trip when i google myself and find stuff about me/my fics on platforms im not even on (like twitter and tiktok). like... ur saying nice things? even where they literally have no idea if i'll see it? you really do like it? omg...

thank you again for asking!!!

[tsubomipsycho100]

augh. I love sumhika so much I rotate them in my mind. It's one of my hyper fixations so if u want could u info dump Abt it a lil bit? Reading the manga n drawing them hasn't worked for me

YEAS okay one sec lemme remember everything I know

OUGH okay firstly in Super excited to see how hgsn ends only bcs most of the time a mangaka will have other works for you to get the idea of what they write like but mokmok len only has one other oneshot and the ending is SUPER weird n comfusing n doesnt make sense but its like. I rlly hope hgsn is similar just for the weird trippy vibes of it yknow ??

ALSO one if my favorite things abt it is the use of style- like for the most part all panels are correct anatonically and such but when hes trying to really get a point across thats when it rlly shines. AND THE WAY THE COMIC FORMAT IS UTILIZED like the typesetting in ch 1 w/ the bugs ough.... I love it. In a way it reminds me of Ino Asano's early work- Im def looking forqard to how Mokmok len's manga continues to grow consindering he basically just started his career

As for the manga itself im SO interested in how it progresses. ch 9 has my favorite scene n I dont want to spoil it but like In general I adore how mokmok len shows emotions and atmosphere. OOOH ANOTHER THING

these three drawings already have an explanation in the chapters out - the leaves in #1 are that of the forest mountain hikaru died in, and the imagery in #3 are reminiscent of a scene in ch 9. the middle one shiwd the premise of the plot w/ hikaru holding a funeral frame over his face

usually when official art doesnt mean anything mokmok len will say so

(^ in reference to the meat cube official art)

buuuut these two

DIDNT have any caption. and you coukd chalk that up to the author just not putting captions in older art but im still interested in seeing if it has any semblance to canon- esp the second one seens to be "hikaru" losing control mahbe trying to stop Yoshiki from going back into the forest? idm idk but Im looking forward to it.

also this. I CANT wait to hear abt hikarus family's jinx

[boylebingo]

fic writers tag

@montygreen​ tagged me in this ages ago but I have been having the nuttiest couple of weeks so it took me a hot sec to get to this, but I do appreciate it and if you somehow don’t already follow leila on here, you should go do that rn

now down to business :) 

1) How many works do you have on AO3? only 3 at the moment! 

2) What’s your total AO3 word count? 45238 as of today 

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? just never have i ever! although i’m sure there are a few unfinished, never-published, years-old stories from assorted fandoms from when I was younger floating around in the void somewhere

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

haha well I’ve only got 3 published, but the number one spot goes to vanilla ice cream, which makes sense since it’s the only one i’ve actually finished so far 🙈

5) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

none of them? i feel like the reason i often read fic is because there is some unresolved canon-angst that i want someone else to resolve so while i definitely have points of tension, all of my stories tend to end (or are planned to end) happy  

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

i think vanilla ice cream will still probably be the fluffiest bc of that epilogue i decided to write last minute, even once i finish all the others. but they’re all pretty happy 🥰

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

not so far, though i try to make it a habit to never say never. I think its one of those things that’s really difficult to write well and I’m just not sure it’s in my skillset to do so. but who knows? maybe one day! 

8) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

see above haha. it’s pretty much the exact same answer :) 

9) Do you respond to comments, why or why not? 

I really try to answer all of them, although I know I missed a bunch while I was on a sorta unplanned writing hiatus. It’s only been a year of me posting anything I’ve written and it still genuinely baffles me that people not only read but also enjoy the things I put out there into the world, so every “thank you for reading” is from the heart for me and it’s so worth taking the two seconds to make my appreciation known. 

10. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

no, thankfully! i think part of that is just i haven’t been around that long haha

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don’t... think so? 

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

no but how cool is that? i wasn’t even really aware that was a thing that could happen! 

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no! but if anyone wants to feel free to hmu 👀 i am super busy rn but i would love to eventually cuz so many of the folks who write for this show are so talented

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

oh gosh. all time is really, really hard. obvi for NHIE i’ve fully boarded the ben/devi train, but some other all time TV faves of mine are ben/leslie from parks&rec, david/patrick from schitts creek, and josh/donna from the west wing. you might be able to tell i love a rivals to lovers moment from some of these lol 💀 but there are so many that i love for different reasons it’s like picking a favorite child lmao

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I do have plans to finish the 2 remaining fics up on ao3, but I will admit, the rosy dot over the i of loving was... ambitious, and not exactly well thought out when I started it. so it may be a while. i haven’t started much else new since those 3 went up, since i’ve been trying to finish what i’ve started. but i have had this ben/devi idea rattling around in my brain ever since i read the book “the unhoneymooners” that I am just not sure i’ll ever quite get around to. 

16) What are your writing strengths?

i like to think i’m pretty good at writing dialogue! in college, i took a creative writing class for playwriting, where it was drilled into our head that you want to get as much of the story as humanly possible out through words, rather than actions. basically my professors argument was that any stage direction could be ignored by a director if the action/object/setting/etc. wasn’t directly referred to in lines said by a character. so if it was important to you, we should make someone talk about it! i think because of that my narration tends to be a little sparser (but hopefully that’s to the benefit of the dialogue!!)

oh, and i also took a class in humor writing and got an A, so.... 👀

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

i think i could be a lot better at coming up with themes/symbols/metaphors/etc. Having not really planned out the WIPs on AO3 now, this was hard to do, so I guess that also goes hand in hand with my time management haha. But yeah I find it a little difficult to have those sorts of literary devices in longer works (i used to write a lot more poetry and it was a little easier for me in that format so i have faith that i can get better).

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i only fluently speak english and you do not want to see me butcher french or german, let alone a language I’ve never taken courses in. so it’s a hard no for me personally haha. that said if you know more than another language, first of all i’m jealous, and second of all, go for it! 

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

i don’t really know! like i said i used to write things without publishing them anywhere, so it’s hard to remember. maybe harry potter, when I was like 10? i feel like i probably wrote the same self-insert hogwarts moment that literally every 10 year old in the late-aughts was writing haha

i know for sure there was a b99 fic that was almost published on ao3 back in like season 2 or 3? that’s why my username is what it is 😊

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

i’m really proud of finishing vanilla ice cream. buuuut i am also really proud of the poems in the rosy dot over the i of loving and i think if i ever finish that one, it will be my favorite for pushing me out of my writing comfort zone.  

Tagging: fellow benvi advocate and @gross-vishwakumar and anyone else who would like to answer that hasn’t already been tagged by someone else cuz i know i got to this a bit late lol 🙈

[dumpywoof]

immmm bored and I made hc tier list whoops ,, ive watched all of seasons once at the least but most of them ive seen multiple times bc im swag like that

im just going to explain my placings bc i can 

s tier:

up first is terraria 3, i could spend way too much time talking about how much i love this season but ill keep it short and simple to spare your time, its s tier bc its my favorite hardcore season 

minecraft 2, ill be real this one is s purely bc of nostalgia ,, i hyperfixated on it hard when i was 9 and the last episode never fails to not put a huuge dumb grin on my face

minecraft 4, i just think this one is the funniest season overall and it also has nostalgia attached to it

a tier:

minecraft 5, i remember watching this season when it first came out and my tiny brain being blown away by the quality ,,, something special about the first todd season 

terraria 2, what can i say i really like terraria my dudes 

minez 1, i liked the format change and jeffs editing was swag ,, also love how unlucky they are when it came to getting disease, especially dean

minecraft 7, proximity voice chat was coool ,, plus ray and luke are always good guest buuuut it was just a repeat of mc5 riiip 

b tier:

minez 2, enjoyable but felt the tiniest bit off idk 

terraria 1, i like terraria and another case of i just think its funny how badly it went

minecraft 6, really enjoyable to watch but it makes me think about how some ppl were mean to dodger and that makes me sad

dayz, everything about dayz feels so wrong yet its so amusing ,,, ex. dean knowing more about the game then everyone else and mcjones (spoilers) dying first feels so off but its fun to watch. downside is i really dont like episode 3 riip 

c tier:

starbound, starbound i am sooooo sorry for putting dayz above you i really am ,,, starbound is still really enjoyable to me its just the beginning is so painfully slow so it tends to lose me 

minecraft 1, the peak of dumbness in the hardcores, and thats saying a lot bc theyre pretty dang dumb ,, its fun to watch but kinda confusing at times ,,, idk i wouldnt say it aged poorly but i also wouldnt say it aged well

minecraft 3, basically mc2 but 100% less swag and 100% more chickens 

d tier:

diablo 2, ill be real ,, i know nothing about diablo and was very confused throughout the entire playthrough ,,, but some of the banter was nice 

i also made a hc participants tier list ,,, its a lot less thought out and just for fun. im not trying to say some participants better than others its just who stood out to me more. i have a positive to neutral opinion on everyone on the list ,, participants that i have a negitive opinion on arent on it. also, I ranked them based off of the hardcores and the hardcores only, if I took account of presence on their own social medias this would be a very different list. Plus, that'd be unfair bc some of the participants I've only seen on the hardcores.

I almost forgot to mention but the tier list totally forgot ncs riiip

S tier: the swaggiest of the swag

A tier: more of my favorites just not my favorite favorites y'know

B tier: could probably make it to A tier but just didn't get enough time on the show

C tier: definitely didn't get enough time on the show or my opinion is just pretty neutral ooooor I didn't know where to put you riiip

[commander-frostii]

Hello Commander! Do you have any advice for fielding Famas? She's one if my favorite designs but when you have her on the table she just doesn't seem to really measure up to other ARs of her type. Right now I'm using her with Shrimp in b formation to buff accuracy. Do you have any other recommendations that might make better use of her? :

Um. Shrimp? Who’s - I’m sorry, I don’t know of any - I assume you mean some kind of offensive SMG, but the only offensive SMGs I know of right now are Vector and SCW. You’re - not talking about the Bunny Gremlin, right? Nah, you must not be. Must be Vector or something. 

Anyway, great question! FAMAS is one of my favorite ARs too! I also recall seeing in other Commanders’ analyses that she isn’t considered to be very good. I think they’re pretty much just flat wrong and FAMAS is actually great. 

You already have her paired with a strong offensive SMG, so you’re already on the right track. One of FAMAS’ strengths is her fantastic formation buff. It only applies to one SMG, but its off-centered positioning lets another AR layer a second buff on top, so you can get some crazy combined buffs from FAMAS/G36 (55% damage, 60% accuracy, 10% RoF) or FAMAS/416 (65% damage, 60% accuracy). This is not a bad way of utilizing FAMAS, in that it’s something that she can do better than a lot of other ARs. 

Buuuut, that puts most of the excitement and emphasis on FAMAS’ frontline, while she serves more of a silent supporting role. If you want to see her pretty face on the MVP screen more often, then you’re going to want to do something a bit different. 

FAMAS is totally serviceable as a dps rifle, as long as your skirmishes are short and sweet so that self-buff ARs don’t have a chance to get massively ahead of her. Her FP is a bit low but her other stats are totally fine, and her high base RoF in particular is a strength she can work with. Equipping her with a powerful HV mag and enhancing it early is going to make a big difference in her effectiveness, and can go a long way in bridging the gap between her and other ARs in midgame. It might be tempting to use an EOT sight to boost her FP further, but don’t fall for it - a critical scope is pretty much always a better choice on ARs, and FAMAS is no exception. It’s also very important to enhance FAMAS’s skill and get its multiplier up as high as possible; FAMAS’ grenade trades raw damage for a much larger AoE, and you want that secondary 2.5 yard zone to be strong enough to drop enemies by itself if you can manage it. 

You can also improve her performance by being smart about choosing her teammates, which is most of what I usually focus on since it’s what matters most in endgame. RoF formation boosts do make a big difference on her, and with a little help from a friendly SMG she can push the fire rate cap, which is commendable on its own - high RoF means fast target switching and more efficient target clears; in fact, FAMAS only needs a 10% RoF boost to outdamage SOP-II, so that tells you just how strong she is by herself. But obviously she also does want as much FP as she can get her hands on, not only to compensate for her relatively lower base stat but also to improve the power of her grenade, since it actually really needs the help.

Here’s probably the best setup I’ve got so far. Type97 is just kind of a filler choice - any other AR will do; UMP45 is a default option but you can use any other SMG you like, Thompson might be a good choice for example. The important parts of this are Type 79 and Ribeyrolles. If you don’t have 79, MT-9 is a decent substitute as long as you got her from login while she was available; if you don’t have Ribey you can use M4A1 or AUG, but Ribey works much, much better for FAMAS because of her excellent skill. 

Type 79 and Ribey together buff FP by 40%, and Ribey’s skill (once maxed) gives her an additional 25% FP and RoF, and that bonus FP will also apply to FAMAS’ grenade. Type 79′s stun grenade also helps buy time while you’re waiting for FAMAS’ grenade to activate, and can make it easier to tank those long battles without taking a lot of damage. 

With the stacking formation buffs and Ribey’s excellent skill, FAMAS will function just fine as a general purpose rifle - but her strength is in her grenade, and specifically its wide area. Chapter 8 is starting to show us some encounters that are well suited to her, and I’m sure we’ll see more of them as time goes on. In the meantime, though, the singular best use of her grenade is against enemies with annoying dodge rates, since… y’know… you can’t dodge an explosion. 

[tamiddyinyourcity]

2:04pm. Stumbled on this post.

Funny how a month and a week later, the feelings didnt change.

This time, instead of us becoming FWBs, or whatever I did with him on this specific day, I got the courage to leave.

Since he didn't want to be around me anymore. And the relationship wasnt giving me the things I knew I wanted.

Several things broke the camel's back. :/

I brought up Valentines Day when we were walking his dog. He barely acknowledged it. But then again, men tend to care less about the holiday, I've noticed. Awkward silence continued..... In my head, I went, "That's all the sign you need." Since eventually the "ask and you shall receive" concept is one sided. Since if he really wanted to do that with me, I'd never have to ask.... I'd just.... know. Or he would ask. Nothing happened.

I almost had sex with him on the last day we had hung out, but didn't. Not since he wasn't attractive, (he looked especially nice that day,) buuuut.... I thought long term, nah, not worth it. It'll be like the other time, where the sex felt nice enough, but i still felt an odd sort of emptiness after it. Since sex, cuddling, staring at his face, and walking around his block a few times before him driving me home with music playing is nice.... But, never guarantees affection, a text back, and whatever. So for this time, it was, "If he does give me head, I will inevitably orgasm with enough power that I could feel like running a mile afterwards, but then will probably feel the urge to give him a blowjob.... And either I'd be an asshole and say "no reciprocation", or be a dumb bitch, and let a man that does not love me leave me with a bad taste in my mouth, (ha, a double entendre,) and unread messages again." Sooooo.... no head. *breaks my skateboard.*

Driving back to my place, I realized that as nice as the hangouts were, it would be the same shit over and over. Platonic hangouts where he'd sit super far and not touch me or talk as much, or sex. Too..... odd. Nice, but not great. Its the difference between receiving three scoops of ice cream in a banana split with all your favorite flavors, and being given a melted banana split that someone else didn't finish, that was sitting in the sun for an hour.... Sure, you can still enjoy it, but you cant remake it into how good it was before.

And then later that night, I asked, out of pure desperation and also boredom, mixed with guilt at the idea of handing him a 12 page MLA format essay on why I think he's a (insert string of bad words here), if he wanted to fuck tomorrow after he gets out from therapy. "Possibly", he said.... "Do I really need to get my hopes up, at a maybe? And all for some dick? That I don't want? Yeah, no. I've gotta end this. Grab your shit and finish the note, lets go."

And then the final test, which was more of just asking for a kiss; not something that would change the end result very much.

He said "No, not really."

Cool. I respect that. Hugged him, and left. I felt like hell when he said, "Well, I'll see you later!" And the way he seemed to smile or blush when he received the letter..... I guess he expected a heartfelt love letter, with four pages of things I liked about him, or something.

I have a tumblr for a reason. To make entire essays about why I like (or maybe slightly tend to loathe) him around.

I wasn't gonna give him a love letter. I only do those to people who I actually want to stay in my life.

So far, no exes have received love letters. Only "I hate you, and I am leaving" texts, or "you r cute but i hate u, deuces" paragraphs before i block their number.

So, a heartfelt-ish letter that explains why I liked him before, maybe even borderline on a stronger emotion that I refuse to say for time being, buuuuuut also clarifying how being a maladaptive and neurotic and inconsiderate dickhole (not my exact words..... i liked him, so i didnt call him any swears,) ended up ruining my trust in him.....

That means a lot. It's kinda like how King Henry the 3rd still loved Anne Boleyn, and so when he cut off her head, instead of using a huge painful axe, and leaving her to painfully and slowly get her head whacked off for several hours..... He got a skilled swordsman with a sharpened blade to remove her head. It came off swiftly and painlessly, all in one swipe. Since even if he wanted the woman out his life, he still wanted to spare her.... (Is this even a good comparison??????? Since I definitely am not cutting off Patrick's head for the sake of a brand new lover who can bear me a son?????..... Or, maybe I am? But not beheading. He's getting cut off for a chance at a new deserving love... but metaphorically.... )

(Actually, was that time I gave Other Patrick a parting gift also a love letter? I gave him candy, gum, and a huge list of reasons why I adored him, and wished him well for college.... so I guess that counts for something.)

Anyway.

I did it. It was terrifying, but still blissful. Going to his house, feeling a bit empty, but contented. Seeing him once again, and having my usual moment of "God, hes so cute", but instead of pushing down my emotions.... to give myself temporary joy.... I pushed down the sappy ones, and gave him the letter.

Its been difficult, but its better this way.

So. :)

12:38am, Tuesday, January 7th of 2020.

Let's do this.

Identify why you are choosing to let go:

Because he doesn't want to be around me any more.

The relationship wasn't giving me the things I knew I wanted in a relationship. (Like mutual respect for eachother, care for my feelings, kept promises,

12:51am, had a bit of a moment for a second.

Tired of venting! It solves nothing. Calling him and saying how i feel has solved most of our problems before. I better at least do that.

Then i can say, i tried.

But hes not a bad person, and shoving my feelings into a little white page of angst every once and awhile to avoid confronting them head on, isnt all that cathartic, as opposed to directly talking to the person I have problems with.

Since, sure, i talk a lot of shit.

But i do genuinely care for him, so, i feel the need to at least inform him of how i feel.

With no expectations.

Will i get depressed and cry in bed the next day? Maybe, but i mean, i plan to do that almost every day anyway, and often for different reasons, so might as well get the big tears out the way first.