#also it's nice when one of these old tv movies is in half decent quality

[exdeputysonso]

Brad Dourif as Sheriff Bill Douglass | Escape From Terror - The Teresa Stamper Story (1995)

[sleepykittypaws]

The Christmas House

Original Air Date: November 23, 2020 (Hallmark) Where to Watch?: Hallmark will replay it multiple times this season, and for every season in perpetuity

It's impossible to review Hallmark's The Christmas House without noting that this time last year, then-Crown Media CEO Bill Abbott was personally taking phone calls from a SPLC-designated hate group, and pulling a Zola ad showing two brides chastely kissing from his network, at that hate group's behest. The ensuing firestorm of well-earned criticism following Abbott's bad judgement, is, without question, what brought us to today, with Abbott ousted, a woman of color, Wonya Lucas, now at Hallmark's helm, and a still totally G-rated holiday lineup that now regularly features former Hallmark no-gos like, interracial romance and LGBTQ+ inclusion, improving Hallmark's abysmal diversity record, one movie at a time. 

So, even though Hallmark had to be dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st century, it's still hard not to be at least a little emotional that they're finally joining us here. The bigots are still having online temper tantrums about losing their all-white, all-straight safe space, but Hallmark's holiday ratings are up 7% year-over-year—a significant jump in a world where cable subscriptions are declining by 10-15% annually.

Now, what that progress looks like on a network known for being “clean,” conservative and about as unwilling to take risks as any channel on the planet, is another story. Frequent Hallmark star, and out gay actor, Jonathan Bennett, has been tirelessly talking about The Christmas House, since the day it went into production. And Bennett brings a lot of energy to this ensemble story, written by co-star Robert Buckley, of a family getting together to decorate their home one more time before it's sold. 

Buckley and Bennett play the sons of Sharon Lawrence and Treat Williams, a recently retired couple struggling with that fundamental shift in their relationship. Buckley is the star of a ridiculous court show, Handsome Justice, of which we luckily get to see a clip, and Bennett, a baker, and his husband, played by Brad Harder, are waiting to hear about an adoption, after several previous disappointments. 

Bennett and Buckley bring more humor than is normal for Hallmark to their portrayal of loving, competitive brothers, who clearly enjoy ribbing each other.

How conservative was past hallmark, you ask? Well, that Buckley's girl-next-door love interest is divorced, not widowed, is still a somewhat shocking twist in that world, as is the fact that both Buckley and Bennett are "allowed" to sport some facial scruff, rather than be clean shaven. Oh, and that the family next door is (gasp) Latino, is also something we likely wouldn't have seen in the Hallmark of yore. All of which is just mind-blowing, since those “days of yore” for this TV network were [checks notes]…2019, not 1968.

Lawrence and Williams are believable as a long term couple, and their life-change struggle to re-center their relationship feels real, but the way it's revealed is almost as anti-climactic as its resolution. The movie laid very unsubtle hints along the way—all storytelling progress aside, Hallmark movies are still written so you can half watch and not a miss a thing, allowing folks to join 20 minutes in, or do the dishes and come back without being confused—that Williams and Lawrence's wanting to have "one last Christmas" was about more than just downsizing in retirement. 

When Lawrence told the story of the clearly-actually-brand-new-and-from-Homegoods Santa pot, and what it meant to her, I thought Williams was going to later accidentally break Checkov's sentimental teapot and, in her anger, Lawrence would blurt out something about that's why they were separating, shocking their grown sons. 

And, honestly, as predictable as that would have been, it would probably have had more impact than what did happen…Lawrence just casually telling Buckley while stringing lights, and then nobody really mentioning it again, excepting oblique references during a single conversation between the brothers, and then Lawrence just announces at breakfast that they're not doing that after all.

Definitely feels like Hallmark's aversion to conflict in its stories is one of those provisions that is still firmly in place. (We saw a similar unwillingness to commit to actual marital difficulties, despite that being the central plot point, in Cranberry Christmas.)

Which is too bad, because Lawrence and Williams being much better than the actors usually used for these parent roles, could have handled a more realistic story well, and brought some real emotional beats to the movie.

As expected, Buckley's romance with Ana Ayora was the definite A-plot here, but why did their memory lane rekindling catalyst have to be close-up magic, the worst of all entertainment options? Was there no mime troop they could have been teenage members of? When it comes to magic, and jazz, I'm like Indiana Jones and snakes…Why'd it have to be magic?

Also, no way that 29-year-old guy they have playing "teenage" Mike grows up to be Robert Buckley. Nope! They definitely had to soft focus all the mostly unnecessary flashback scenes so that those actors, easily less than a decade younger than our leads, didn't quite look their age. 

And, c'mon, Buckley, who, again, is the star of his own TV show, gives the love of his life a necklace he bought…in high school? For real? I'm surprised we couldn't see her neck turn green in real time. At least get a gal a little upgrade. Sheesh! 

The whole rival real estate agent thing went nowhere. And what was that subplot even supposed to be about? Would have much rather seen a scene from the Handsome Justice episode where Buckley's character defended a dog accused of murder, than that whole waste of time. 

On the other hand, loved the Grift body spray mentions, and so glad we go to see that ad. Hallmark doesn't do subtle—"But will they get it?" is basically the network's motto—but this is one case of subtext just being text that worked.

Oh and, how did his parents buy a house on the Hudson river just by selling a nice, but fairly average, suburban home? Sure, they said it was a fixer upper, but anything on the water is gonna be way more pricey than where they were, and you've still got to have the cash to do the fixing. Also, you know the old adage about how nothing soothes a struggling marriage like a whole house renovation project, amirite?

Speaking of money…Why didn't Buckley just buy his folks the house right away if he didn't want to see it go? I mean, even if he's only a mid-level TV star, this wasn't some extravegent manse, and certainly wouldn't be an unusual thing for a well-off child to do for their middle-class parents. Why all the rigamarole with the weird guy and the rescinded offer? And, like, what was that all about? So many stories I'd have rather seen from this talented cast than some of the filler we actually got.

Harder didn't get nearly enough to do, but he and Bennett had decent chemistry and they got most of the best lines. The joke about "Will we decorate like this for our kids," and Bennett's emphatic, "No," cut the tension of an emotional scene well, with perfect timing, making it actually, laugh out loud funny—a Hallmark rarity. And when Harder appears in doorway after hearing from the adoption agency, and Bennett knows just by looking at his face what the call said, I got emotional.

That all the couples in this one got to kiss, including Bennett and Harder, is important. With the specter of last year's Zola debacle absolutely lingering over the entire movie, it's hard to think of a better, actual example of #LoveWins, than that moment.

I also teared up when we saw Bennett and Harder's family at the end, not only because it was a long overdue Hallmark milestone, but also because Harder's real-life son, Kael, played he and Bennett's on-screen adopted child, and is just so stinking cute.

Am I giving this bonus points for finally having an LGBTQ+ storyline, even if it was pretty far from the foreground? For sure. But Buckley and Bennett also brought humor and heart to this one, of a variety not usually found on Hallmark, and Lawrence and Williams also upped the ante on the quality here. Notable that Hallmark also sprung for two actual, name-brand holiday songs, so they were willing to spend a little bit of extra cash on this effort, which says more about their “commitment to diversity” than years of empty promises ever did.

Would have liked House even more, if Hallmark had been brave enough to swap the storylines; Bennett falling in love the boy next door, and Buckley and his bride waiting to hear about adoption, but barring that, do wish it had been bit more of a true ensemble (i.e. all three love stories had equal weight).

Despite quibbles, I'm still putting this on top of the 2020 Hallmark heap, at least for the moment, because I laughed, I cried and I felt good about the progress that has been made, no matter how long overdue it is.

As I've said so many times, representation really does matter, particularly on a channel like Hallmark, which caters to exactly the audience that most needs to see LGBTQ+ people laughing, living and loving, just like every other family.

Representation really can change lives. It opens hearts and minds. It can help those struggling within themselves feel seen and worthy. Really can not underestimate how transformative these normalizing glimpses can be, particularly for a network like Hallmark, with a large "conservative" audience. 

"Conservative" is in quotes, because there's nothing genuinely conservative about human rights, and respect for those unlike you. Empathy and acceptance for others should be a baseline standard for living in a society—not a political statement. 

No one has the right to deny someone else's humanity, and someone's choice to hold hate in their heart deserves no respect from Hallmark, or society at large. Really hopeful that some kid out there who feels excluded and awful about themself because their family and upbringing has told them everything they're feeling is wrong and sinful, can now see representation like this on their family's safe space TV channel, and know it's going to be OK.

It's a small step, but it's definitely a good one, and I'm really looking forward to the actual lead LGBTQ+ holiday romances coming soon, like Hulu's Happiest Season (Nov. 25), Lifetime's The Christmas Setup (Dec. 12) and Paramount Network's Dashing in December (Dec. 13), and hoping Hallmark joins that club in 2021.

Until then…

Final Judgement: 3 Paws Up

[soulspideys]

A Review of Tom Holland’s Complete Filmography

According to imdb

I had a lot of free time, so I decided to watch every movie Tom has acted in, according to his imdb page. I review each film, some with separate spoiler-free reviews.

spoilers under the cut

Arrietty (UK dub)

Not much to say about this one, so both reviews will go together. Tom plays Sho, the sick boy who finds Arrietty and her family. Quite similar to the Disney version, though a little less childish and fun. An enjoyable viewing; I find both English dubs interchangeable.

The Impossible (2012)

Wow. For my spoiler-free review, I just gotta say: watch this movie!! The whole cast is phenomenal, and Tom really does carry the story. He’s a 12-year-old boy on Holiday with his family when a tsunami hits, and we watch his struggle to get his mother medical attention and reunite with his father and little brothers. For such a young character, it is truly remarkable to watch him steal every scene. Definitely recommend!

Spoilers: I cannot stress enough how amazing this cast was. Of course, the movie had its flaws, with three of the main cast being portrayed by children, but it was still remarkable. The way Tom shows Lucas’s character development was remarkably done, and every time Lucas breaks or begins to scream, you’re reminded how young these children are. Ewan McGregor, as always, played his role to the best of his ability, and as he showed a mourning dad desperate for information on his family, you could feel your heart break with him. Naomi Watts, of course, was phenomenal. Just an all around remarkable film, and one that really showcased some of Tom’s strong suits. Quite graphic throughout, but if you have the stomach, I highly recommend taking the time to watch young Tom act his heart out in crisis.

Moments (short film, 2013)

mmkay so this is just a short youtube film, but it’s pretty great. It has Tom doing a voiceover with a montage of a boy and girl in a relationship. Heartbreaking, sharply done, and quick, it’s worth the four minutes of your time.

Locke (2013)

This one’s about a dad on a car ride and how his life kind of falls apart over the course of a few phone calls. Though Tom has a very small part in this film (it’s just his voice for like five minutes, max) he does it well. You understand the relationship between he and his father, and he sounds just a like a teenage kid waiting to watch a match on tv would. The whole film isn’t really necessary if you’re just watching for Tom, but it’s actually really remarkable. Would recommend, just be aware this isn’t a “Tom” movie.

How I Live Now (2013)

ALRIGHT, BUCKOS, STRAP IN! I have my fair share of complaints with this movie, but Tom’s character (Isaac) is NOT ONE OF THEM! Basic plot: an edgy™ American girl comes to stay with her cousins in England, and WWIII breaks out and they get separated and she’s trying to find them. It’s enjoyable, Saoirse Ronan does a great job playing her character, and I’m glad I actually watched it.

Spoilers: She falls in love with her eldest cousin, and that’s a main instigator of the plot. GROSS. But it’s her middle cousin, Isaac, that really made this movie tolerable. Tom plays a 14-year-old kid that really just wanted his cousin to enjoy her stay without letting her walk all over him. He and Daisy exchange banter, and he never lets her negativity get to him. For the first half an hour, he spends all his screen time trying to make light of situations and caring for his family. Then, they kill him off after seeing nothing of him for 40+ minutes. NOT. COOL. Daisy tenderly buries his glasses after finding his dead body, but they don’t really mention him again until the little sister is like “lmao where’s isaac???” He deserved far better. I will probably watch this movie again, but it really goes downhill when you take his positivity and warmth from it.

Tweet (short film, 2015)

Another short youtube film. This one stars Tom’s youngest brother, and is very witty and cute. You get about thirty seconds (max) of Tom onscreen, but he actually directed this! V v adorable, I recommend those two minutes of cuteness.

In the Heart of the Sea (2015)

Ahhh, the origination of the iconic Quackson meme. Won’t lie, I was a bit disappointed by this one. The movie is based off a book that is telling the “true story” that inspired Herman Meville to write Moby Dick. Tom plays the young version of the sole survivor of the ship Essex that was attacked by a white wale and marooned for months. A rowdy period piece full of action and high tensions, it’s a good popcorn movie.

Spoilers: The pacing was really weird. They spend the first hour of the movie sailing around on a nice boat, hunting whales, and bullying the new kid (Tom). The captain is jealous of the first mate so he makes dumb choices. Tom’s character (Thomas Nickerson) thinks the first mate is the coolest guy ever. And suddenly!! WHALES. FIRE. TENSIONS. There’s literally like fifteen minutes of whale smashing, half an hour of floating around and starving and cannibalism, and the last fifteen minutes are split between angsty old Nickerson and everyone making it home fine. The idea was interesting, and the cast did wonderfully, it just felt like the production was a bit rushed. Would still recommend!

Captain America: Civil War (2016)

I’m not really gonna review this, we probably have all seen this. I just wanted to put it here so it’s all his films. Tom’s great. The ideal Peter. A quality beeb. I’m so sorry that I said beeb. WOW I LOVE THIS SPIDEY!

Edge of Winter (2016)

Okay!! I was really excited to see this one, and it was perfectly mediocre. A quick summary: Bradley (Tom) and his little brother are left with their dad for a week or whatever. Their dad finds out that their new step-dad is planning on moving the family and freaks out. Horror movie cliches ensue. An interesting concept with a pretty decent cast, but lacking in certain areas. A mellow horror, much more of a thriller.

Spoilers: Tbh Luc and Richard felt a bit flung in, and there was a lot of unrealistic things. Like... Brad drives a car for like a mile one time and then at the end he’s fine driving miles and miles to get away. Also what happened to their dad?? It’s never discussed at the end. And ik this is about Tom (don’t get me wrong, he was great) but can we discuss the little brother??? Honestly the two brothers pretty much carried the film and they did amazingly! If it had the proper score, I feel it would have boosted the film’s quality tenfold. Altogether, an enjoyable movie to watch when you want something freaky, but not too bad.

The Lost City of Z (2016)

Quite possibly my least favorite movie on this list, but that might just be me. Percy Fawcett is an explorer that becomes obsessed with his search for the lost city he calls “z” in the amazon forest. Despite ridicule from his superiors, he dedicates his life to it. His family feels he has abandoned them, but still support him. It’s literally 2 hours and 20 minutes of this dude looking for native inhabitants of “amazonia.” There are long, sophisticated scenes of dialogue. This is a movie you need to pay close attention to in order to capture completely. 

Spoilers: It’s probably bc I was watching the movie for Tom, but I was disappointed. We get maybe 20 minutes of Tom, the majority of that just squeezed into the end. Tom’s character development felt rushed and flimsy. Robert Pattinson’s character was great, and honestly, why did we not get more development from him??? It was a lot of dialogue with not a lot of movement. Probably like a 5 or 6 out of 10. Just a bit of a mess.. The best part was probably what an early feminist his wife was.

Pilgrimage (2017)

okay so this movie isn’t technically out yet but it’s online illegally (ssssh.....) and I really wanted to see it. I was prepared to dislike it bc people kept talking about how dark it was, but it was actually very enjoyable. Definitely gory and v intense, but all the same, a good story. Possibly the best showcase of Tom’s talent yet (other than hoco obs). Be warned: it can be very hard to watch at times, but stays true to its story.

Spoilers: ok so tbh sometimes it felt like the movie couldn’t decide who it wanted its main character to be. We see Mr. French Richard Armitage Princey a lot, and the herbalist, and the French Priest dude, and definitely a lot of The Novice (Tom), but it wasn’t until the end when it becomes clear that we were watching through the eyes of the Novice. Where Edge of Winter’s big climax failed to feel high-stakes when it was, Pilgrimage does the opposite. During the final scene, I went “oh, yeah, this is the climax!” and it felt v high stakes. Definitely dark and gory and intense, but an intriguing and fascinating film to watch if you have the time.

Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)

Wowowowow i love tom and he’s so good and i can’t wait to see more spidey YEET!!!

thank you for reading, let me know if this helped, and i will probably continue to add to this as more of his movies come out :)))

[magzoso-tech]

New Post has been published on https://magzoso.com/tech/ipad-2019-review/

iPad (2019) Review

The iPad (2019) is the most affordable of the current generation of iPads, but that doesn’t mean it lacks meaningful new features. The iPad (2019) features a larger 10.2-inch display and a Smart Connector, which allows it to be connected to Apple’s Smart Keyboard Case. This is an accessory that could make the iPad far better for productivity.

On the other hand, the iPad (2019) is based on the three-year-old Apple A10 Fusion processor, and doesn’t have the best display we’ve seen on an iPad. Are these compromises too big to ignore, or is the iPad (2019) the perfect entry-level tablet for most people? We’ll answer that in our review.

iPad (2019) display and design

One look at the iPad (2019) and you’ll immediately notice its larger display. The 10.2-inch screen is bigger than the 9.7-inch ones on all previous standard iPad models. It’s great to have a bigger display, but there are three things to keep in mind. First, the iPad (2019) lacks the anti-reflective coating that’s available on the iPad mini (2019) (Review) and all other current-generation iPads. Secondly, it isn’t laminated, which means that there’s a gap between the panel itself and the glass surface, which you can see if you hold the iPad at an angle.

That second point won’t bother most people much, but the lack of an anti-reflective coating does get annoying after a while. While watching movies or gaming, you’re more likely to see your own reflection on the iPad (2019), which could make the experience less immersive. You will also see black bars at the top and bottom while watching most movies or TV shows, thanks to the aspect ratio of this screen, but this is a minor complaint.

iPad (2019) has a big 10.2-inch display

Third, this iPad doesn’t have the True Tone display feature of its premium siblings, which means it doesn’t adjust its colour temperature based on ambient lighting. That would have been nice to have, but it isn’t a huge miss. Having said all that, if you’re buying this iPad for casual use, none of these factors will bother you much. The only reason we’re even mentioning these points in such detail is that the iPad mini (2019) costs just Rs. 5,000 more and offers a much better, though smaller, display

The speaker is quite loud, but we do miss the stereo speakers that iPad Pro models have, especially when watching movies. That said, the speaker on the iPad (2019) is still pretty good.

While the iPad (2019)’s design isn’t revolutionary, it retains everything that’s good about previous iPad models. The build quality is excellent and it does feel premium. Weight is distributed evenly too. There are thick borders around the display, with the selfie camera at the top and the Home button at the bottom.

The iPad (2019) supports Touch ID for fingerprint unlocks, which is nice to have. When held up in portrait orientation, you have the volume buttons on the right, along with the Nano-SIM tray on the cellular variant. On the rear left, you’ll find the Smart Connector. The power button and 3.5mm headphone jack are at the top, while the Lightning port and speaker are at the base of the iPad.

iPad (2019) performance and battery life

Yes, the iPad (2019) has Apple’s A10 Fusion SoC and it is old now. To be fair to Apple, the A10 Fusion is still a really powerful chip and wouldn’t appear to be very dated if not for Apple’s consistent annual gains in terms of CPU and GPU performance. In our usage we did not encounter any lag or stuttering on the iPad (2019). We played a few games such as Asphalt 9: Legends, Alto’s Odyssey, and Fieldrunners 2, and found performance to be satisfactory. Switching between apps was smooth.

iPad (2019)’s Lightning port and speaker are at the base

For basic use such as watching movies, social media, and browsing the Web, the iPad (2019) is pretty good too. Most people will find the iPad (2019) adequate for day-to-day tasks, but if you are planning to edit photos and videos, you’d ideally want to get at least the iPad Air (2019), if not one of the Pro models.

The iPad (2019) also impressed us with its battery life. We used it to watch a couple of TV shows on the go, for Web browsing, a bit of gaming, and reading every day. With this kind of use the iPad (2019) ran out of power once every four days or so. Apple has always set the battery life bar for iPads at around 10 hours of usage per charge, and we managed to slightly exceed that. The iPad (2019) ships with a 10W charging adapter in the box, which took around three hours to top it up from zero to 100 percent.

The iPad (2019) has a single front camera and a rear camera, and we found both of them to be pretty average. The cameras are decent for FaceTime calls but not for much else. We don’t use iPads for photography and we don’t think anyone else should unless there’s no other choice.

iPad (2019) software

While reviewing iPads in the past, we’ve often said that iOS has been holding these devices back. This year, Apple decided to branch its operating system and created iPadOS 13, which is a version of iOS with several features designed primarily for iPads. This is a good start, and we hope to see regular, meaningful updates to iPadOS in the future.

iPad (2019) isn’t the most portable iPad out there

The first change we noticed is the Today View, which has all of your iOS widgets and Siri Suggestions. Until now you had to swipe left from the first home screen to access this, and it would act like a separate home screen in itself. With iPadOS 13, you can add the Today View to the default home screen alongside your app icons. This is a great way to utilise the big screen, and it made Today View more useful for us as well.

You can also open multiple instances of the same app, which is a good step towards making iPadOS a desktop-class OS. You can tap and hold an app icon in the Dock, and then tap Show All Windows to see all open windows of the same app. We used Safari side by side with a bunch of apps such as Mail, Messages, and even Music, and found it really useful.

We also enjoyed having Safari being recognised as a desktop browser by various sites we use. Sites such as Google Docs work much better thanks to this, and we were not forced to figure out how to load the desktop versions of various sites on an iPad, which is great.

Our experience with iPadOS was largely pleasant, but we do feel that you aren’t going to make the most of it without a keyboard. If you’re planning to use the iPad (2019) for productivity you probably should purchase a good Bluetooth keyboard or Apple’s own dockable Smart Keyboard Cover to make the most of iPadOS’ keyboard shortcuts.

Unfortunately the Smart Keyboard Cover costs Rs. 13,900, which is almost half the price of the iPad (2019). We’ve used this cover with other iPads and found it to be excellent. It does add a bit of weight to the iPad, but it’s a lot lighter and more convenient to use than separate Bluetooth keyboards. Other options such as the Logitech K480 will cost at least Rs. 2,200, but these need to be carried separately and will need to be paired before using.

The iPad (2019) supports the Apple Pencil (1st Generation only), which costs Rs. 8,500. This could be an affordable iPad for those who want to sketch or take handwritten notes.

The Smart Connector allows you to connect Apple’s Smart Keyboard Cover accessory to the iPad (2019)

Verdict

The iPad (2019) has a big display, performs reasonably well, and offers great battery life. It’s nice to have the Smart Connector on this iPad, in case you want to use Apple’s excellent Smart Keyboard Cover accessory and don’t mind shelling out for it. Since the processor is older, there’s a chance that the iPad (2019) may feel a bit sluggish a few years down the line.

The iPad (2019)’s base variant has 32GB of storage and is priced at Rs. 29,900. It would be easy to recommend this if not for the iPad mini (2019) (Review) , which costs Rs. 34,900. The iPad mini (2019) has a smaller display and does not have a Smart Connector, but it has the much more powerful A12 Bionic chip, a better display, and 64GB of storage in the base variant.

If we were picking up an iPad for casual use at home, we’d go with the iPad (2019). If we wanted an iPad to carry with us while commuting or travelling, the iPad mini (2019)’s compact form factor is far more appealing.

Prices:

iPad (2019) Wi-Fi 32GB: Rs. 29,900

iPad (2019) Wi-Fi 128GB: Rs. 37,900

iPad (2019) Wi-Fi + Cellular 32GB: Rs. 40,900

iPad (2019) Wi-Fi + Cellular 128GB: Rs. 48,900

Apple Pencil (1st Generation): Rs. 8,500

Smart Keyboard Cover: Rs. 13,900

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[moviemagistrate]

“Wonder Woman” review

I’m sure I wasn’t alone in being not-particularly-excited for “Wonder Woman”, the latest entry in the DC Extended Universe; after all, I did see the other films in the DCEU. There was the two-and-a-half-hour long trailer “Man of Steel”, the ambitious but notably flawed “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice”, and “Suicide Squad”, a film that if I were forced to choose between seeing again and taking my own life, I would spend far too long considering. With skepticism in hand, I saw “Wonder Woman”, and I cannot remember the last time I was so happy to be so wrong about a film. This isn’t to say that the movie doesn’t have its own fair share of flaws (it does), but in at least one significant area, which is to inspire hope for the DCEU, it works wonders.

After a brief framing-device setup, the movie tells the origin story of Diana, princess of an isolated island of muscular, Amazonian warrior-babes. In a slow-but-alright prologue, she grows from an eager young girl who is sheltered from combat by her Queen mother to a formidable fighter when suddenly, dashing American soldier Steve Trevor crash lands in their waters. From him, she discovers the ongoing conflict of World War I and sets out alongside him to Europe to help save humanity from what she believes to be the machinations of Ares, the wrathful god of war. Writing it now, this sounds like silly, comic book-y stuff (and it is), but it works within the context of the movie, and the plot isn’t really the reason the movie works as well as it does, anyway.

Let’s talk about Gal Gadot. I was among those who were skeptical when Zack Snyder first cast her as Wonder Woman in BvS, despite his usual excellent penchant for casting his films. A model with acting experience that mainly consisted of “Fast & Furious” movies (not exactly acting showcases) being put in the shoes of the most famous female hero in comic book history has a lot to live up to, and while her limited role in BvS was decent, it didn’t exactly set the world on fire. Such is not the case here in her solo film. Finally given a character with outward personality and depth, she is absolutely phenomenal in what is legitimately one of the best portrayals of a comic book character in any movie. Diana is an idealist, a good-hearted and eager young woman (despite being centuries-old) with no small amount of naiveté and innocence but also someone who is also fiercely strong-willed and independent, and Gadot nails every aspect of her character and every bit of her development throughout the course of the movie, as well as being surprisingly funny. Sure, you could argue that there are probably some actresses out there who could offer some better line-deliveries, but in terms of sheer charisma and how she carries herself and how she makes you believe that she is Wonder Woman, I’d say that Snyder’s mostly-superlative casting record continues. By the end of the film you’ll be convinced that Gal Gadot is a fucking megastar.

The main reason the movie works so well for me is Diana’s relationship with Trevor, played by Chris Pine. A likable, cynical rogue who isn’t too much of a stretch for Pine considering he plays Kirk similarly in the new “Star Trek” films, but a character who is still given enough dimension and gravitas to make him memorable, which the naturally charismatic Pine plays to a tee. Their lack of familiarity with each other’s worlds and their clashes in communication leads to some nice fish-out-of-water humor (see Trevor’s bemusement at the glowing water on the island or Diana’s reaction to her first ice cream), but it’s their chemistry that is the beating heart of this film. The characters’ opposing worldviews supplies the needed character drama, but also helps creates a bond that feels as natural and fresh as any pairing in recent history. Just try watching the boat scene about 30 minutes into the movie without smiling, laughing, or feeling the fireworks these two create. This leads to a bond atypical of most movies, where their deepening relationship is based not on superiority of one over the other, but one of equality and respect, where you actually feel these two grow both individually and together. I might be harping too much on this matter, but this is easily the best romance in any comic book movie (yes, even better than Cap and Bucky). Other film couples have chemistry; these two are cooking Heisenberg-quality meth together and making it look effortless.

The rest of the cast is solid, as well. Of note are Steve’s three buddies who tag along with him and Diana on their mission. They initially seem like the typical diverse comic-relief sidekicks, but are surprisingly well-written and are even given their own moments that flesh out and humanize them more than you’d expect in this kind of film (and I’m always happy to see Scotsman Ewen Bremner onscreen). Connie Nielsen and Robin Wright are alright as Diana’s Amazon queen mother and warrior aunt, but they’re only in the opening third of the movie and spend much of it speaking in stilted “Game of Thrones” dialogue. While the actors who play the villains are good, their actual characters are one of the film’s main weaknesses, somewhat lacking in terms of depth and being interesting. We never really understand why Doctor Poison stoops to creating her devastating weapons of war, and [SPOILERS] the “surprise” late-reveal of Ares can be seen coming a mile away. [END SPOILERS] It’s somewhat ballsy to take a historical figure such as German general Erich Ludendorff and make him the cackling bad guy in your movie (with some unusually accurate attention to detail like his view of war and his pagan Norse worship), and while entertaining, he too suffers from a lack of depth and motivation beyond conquering the world (which again should be noted, is not entirely historically inaccurate).

Patty Jenkins is the first time a woman has directed a major superhero film (not counting Lexi Alexander’s low-budgeted but face-explodingly awesome “Punisher: War Zone”), and she brings a uniquely feminine perspective to Diana’s story, from her upbringing in an all-female society to her learning of the frustrating world of mankind to her loving and compassionate nature. Jenkins has only directed one movie 14 years ago and has only done a handful of TV stuff since then, so her ground as an action director is understandably a bit shaky. The action itself is pretty good, but between the slight over-reliance on Snyder-esque slo-mo and over-editing, you can kind of tell this is Jenkins’ first time doing this sort of thing (not helped by some shockingly crappy CGI). However, she makes up for this by spacing out the action well over the course of the movie, and giving each fight weight, story meaning, and character development for Diana. Along with Rupert Gregson-Williams’ pounding soundtrack, this comes together best in an outstanding mid-movie charge across no man’s land to liberate a Belgian village. 

Putting aside the action stuff, Jenkins’ strength lies in the character scenes. The boat scene and others like it feel so natural and well-done because Jenkins knows the importance of slowing a movie down to let us take in the characters and making us care for them. In these scenes, she shows moments of such humanity and personal growth that it really catches you off-guard how moving this film can be. Later in the film, there’s a scene where a character sacrifices themselves and the camera holds on their face for a while, and seeing this person come to terms with their death will both break your heart and take your breath away. Moments like this involve you in a story more than any giant CGI clusterfuck or ironic Marvelquip. Speaking of which, the film itself has a refreshingly good sense of humor, that in deference to modern superhero tradition never feels forced and feels like it’s coming naturally from the characters and their quirks instead of soulless hack writers making pop-culture references.

Despite all that the film does right, it’s not without its flaws. Along with the aforementioned dodgy special effects and the so-so villains, the film also tends to get bogged down in exposition. It has not only the early backstory narration (which at least has context since it’s a story being read to Diana by her mother) and the third-act “villain explains their motivations” monologue, but also fairly frequent occurrences of “newly-introduced character tells us who they are and what the situation is”. It’s still done relatively well, and I prefer it to a movie rushing through just to get to the next studio-mandated action beat, but they could have been more economic with these parts. Also, the third act is a bit of a letdown. Without spoiling much, it disappointingly becomes another huge CG-battle after the baddie monologue, the kind we’ve all seen dozens of times. Maybe some producer or studio exec is hoping that these types of climaxes will one day go full-circle and become exciting again. Finally, the very last shot of the movie is kind of silly; it has no real purpose and is only there because someone out there mistakenly thought it’d look cool.

Nevertheless, I’m writing this review a few days after seeing it, and I’m honestly still shocked at how much I was thrilled, entertained, and even moved by “Wonder Woman”. It’s just so rare for me to find a movie that actually clicks with me on an emotional level that I can easily recommend it despite its relatively-minor foibles. I’m not convinced the DCEU has its shit together as this film could just as likely be an anomaly, but “Wonder Woman” is miraculous solely by giving one the slightest bit of hope that “Justice League” will be good. As long as Gal Gadot and Patty Jenkins make another one of these, I might just become optimistic about this franchise. You go, girls.

[theperkiestnobody]

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Idunnoo bout y'all but lately Facebook has decided to have a bunch of videos up on my dashboard about relationships and what not and it just kinda has been a floating thought in my mind what with me being in my first serious relationship ever and almost hitting the year mark and iunno maybe I'm just kinda sick and tired of just seeing like "the 4 different personalities" and "what you should avoid before thinking about getting married" and all this other horseshit so I'mma rant

TL;DR don't worry you'll find someone someday

So lemme tell y'all a lil something something, around this time last year, I was on the fence about getting back into dating after Everett had asked if he could be my boyfriend and I could be his girlfriend. Why? Because after a couple of years dating dinguses, idiots and fucktards, I needed a break from it all. It wasn't good that my "first" boyfriend straight up didn't talk to me for weeks prior to breaking up with me then the next idiot that followed tried breaking up with me through text message and basically told me I wasn't worth he emotional investment. And it didn't help I lost a sense of who I was while dating them. Like I basically did everything a good girlfriend was supposed to do so why didnt we stay together? Probably because I was just conveinent. And when I stopped being that, they just wanted me gone. Afterwards I just had a series of unfortunate hookups, one night stands which led to my first encounter with a fuck boy and my first consideration of having a friend with benefits. And I hated both. I can't blame the fwb guy because honestly I get it. Been hurt too many times, you aren't looking for someone whose decently attractive you want someone super attractive and whatever bullshit and it was really my fault for trying to change it to a different outcome. So after him, I was done. I just decided for myself that if I really wanna dress all nice and what not, fuck man I'll take myself out on dates. I'll buy myself that expensive ass food and I'll tell myself I'm worth it cause no one else fuckin would and if they did they just legit wanted me in bed with them. So 🤷🤷 whatever right?

I continued on, going to school, trying to hang out with friends and spend some quality roommate/housemate time. Tried figuring out this on your own away from home situation (literally a year after I moved out from my folks) while working at best buy. And lo and behold, this super excited, tall goofy fourteen year old (he's actually twenty three pero like he looks fuckin fourteen) looking white boy that legit runs up to me in his new blue uniform asking me where tf some stupid ass Samsung TV was. Mind you at the time he was starting as the Samsung experience expert while I was just your average merchandiser, working there for almost half a year, making things look pretty and I was always running around the store like a woman on a mission and had zero time trying to help coworkers and customers look for something specific. But I'm too nice of a person and I try to help however I can and I asked him if he bothered to look in our system to see if it is noted we have it in stock (which A++ for him he did before asking me). And I don't remember when I started having feelings for him all I remembered was that it kinda hurt when I figured he didn't have any for me. And i remember when it happened.

See the best buy we both worked at is located near a college town so the vast majority of the employees are college students just trying to pay off whatever debt and there was this one girl, we'll call her Sandy, who got hired right after her best friend which both were known to throw the wildest parties which I've probably been invited to once but never again since I don't drink. And I've never hated her or anything, I mean Sandy is a pretty nice person and though she's fucking nuts and will black out drunk twice a week, she helped me out when i was basically on the last straw with the fwb guy and helped me by making sure I was surrounded by friends so I didn't have to feel like I had to go back to hanging out with him because I was just so desperately lonely for company. and when Everett started working there, he got along with everyone to the point that they all knew him as that hyperactive kid who'll always put a smile on your face..and eventually they started hanging out and I knew that for one, I shouldn't be trying to date co-workers let alone look into dating cause I just started trying to get to know myself and two, there's really no way that I ever attract anyone, especially people like him. So I just kind of went about my days there till he eventually came up to me and talked to me. We had just small chatter here and there. Then eventually it became more than that. He knew that the guy working as a "security" guard employed by best buy was my housemate at the time and got into a conversation about going night hiking to which he asked me about it. I said I'd love to go and he quickly wrote down his number, gave it to me right before our general manager asked what the fuck we were doing in which I fuckin lied for him and I fuckin texted him, planned it and we went on a fucking night hike and talked to each other about literally everything personal. He knew every single thing about me in those three hours we spent by ourselves together and afterwards, I'm absolutely pretty sure he gave me compliments not just to compliment me but to also hit on me seeing as how he fell for me...and what happened afterwards was a series of him showing up to my apartment (which at the time wasn't too far from best buy) just so he could see me (IN MY FUCKIN PJAYS IF I MAY ADD), him asking about me around the store because literally everyone kind of knew who I was but just by character and not name, and eventually leading towards our "first date" which ended up going on till 3am cause of late dinner with friends and then him coming over the next day to watch a movie and play cards and that's when he asked me if he could have my lips and be mine and he waited till I was ready. He waited patiently for me to say yes, waited for me to be okay and ready to have sex with him and has been nothing but just a total sweetheart and always there for me when I needed him

And lemme tell you we aren't your generic couple either. We both have our mental illness. Some days are way better than others and maybe one day we'll finally be okay. And I also didn't wait till I moved in with him. Sure, I had my own life with my own things and I still do things on my own...but I also take into consideration what his feelings are and if he's okay with it and if he isn't we talk about it. I moved in with him maybe four or five months into our relationship because it just wasn't okay for me to live in my apartment any more due to it's conditions and what not and yeah, we're both living with his parents and theyre okay with it but honestly, we take care of each other. We push each other and all this jazz and it's all because I just ...I just said yes. I went into this relationship with both of us knowing what kind of baggage I have. I went into it slightly thinking he'll dump me after three months or he'll get tired of me...and now, I wake up to his cute little face and sleep with one of us wrapped around the others arms and I know there's a future with us. And yeah, if I were to have told my past self that after Kyle and Jon dump you you'll find someone youll be madly in love with through work, I wouldve asked what kinda drugs am I on for this kind of optimism. So honestly, yeah, you're gonna find someone someday. Even if that someone is you.