#also it’s been so long since we saw his faaace | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

a65232-joshywoshy · 3 years

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Penny and Rachael sat on Rachael’s couch. They were confused, annoyed, frustrated, and angry. They sat and tried to process the events of the day.

"I can't believe we got fired. Just because his face went all weird. As if it was our fault!" Penny groaned.

"Yeah. It's weird. We'll have to look for jobs again." Rachael stared out the living room window, soaking in the view for what was soon to be the last time.

"I hate him! Fuck him! Fucking Howard!" Penny was growing increasingly angry.

Rachael was both interested and afraid of Penny's angry side. She had only seen Penny like this a few times. There was an intense power within Penny that Rachael could feel. That power radiated out from Penny, so much so that Rachael was in awe. Had Penny been angry at Rachael, the feeling would have been different. But watching Penny's emotion without being its target meant that Rachael was free to watch the emotion flow outward from Penny without worry of upsetting her more. Rachael could be herself and revel in the expressiveness of someone else.

"I'm sorry." Rachael said softly.

"It's okay. You don't need to apologize." Penny took a breath. "It's so aggravating that we were just fired on a whim, you know?"

"Yeah"

"Five years of being a fantastic employee and it means nothing to him. We're just flushed down the FUCKING toilet." Now Penny mocked Howard. "Oh. I don't like what happened to my FAAACE. SURELY this must be YOUR FAULT. UGGGHH!!!" Penny slumped back against the couch again. "I want a drink. I just want a fucking drink. Drown out this piece of shit."

Rachael remembered the rules that Veronica had texted her. They had clearly stated that Penny was not allowed to have any alcohol at any time for any reason. Penny had been an alcoholic for a few months, long before Rachael had met her. Veronica had just come into Penny's life shortly before and helped Penny through that time in her life. They had both agreed that alcohol was not a real solution, and that had eventually resulted in one of their first rules. 'Under no circumstances is alcohol allowed. Wine, beer, margaritas, and all other alcohol have been deemed off limits due to their long term health effects on Penny.'

"Penny, alcohol isn't allowed. Ms. Veronica said so. It's in the rules." Rachael was sure to speak soft and gently, while making sure to still have some seriousness to her tone.

"FUCK THE RULES! I don't care about the stupid little game she likes to play. I'm mad, I want a drink!" Penny got up off the couch.

"Where are you going?" Rachael asked. She knew Penny was serious now. There had to be some way to stop her. Penny wasn't in a rage, but Rachael had seen this mood before. This mood meant that Penny would probably over-indulge in whatever she could get her hands on for the next few hours. Ms. Veronica wasn't around to keep her in line, either.

"I'm going to get a drink!" Penny grabbed her purse and walked towards the front door.

"Penny, if you do that, I'm going to tell Mrs. Veronica on you." Rachael stood to face Penny.

"I don't care, Rachael! Tell her all you want. Bye." Penny left the house. She wasn't angry with Rachael, but Rachael reminded her of work at the moment. She wanted to remove all traces of her former workplace, if only for a short time.

Rachael was slightly surprised. Penny could be this way sometimes, but Veronica seemed to know how to dial back and redirect this side of her. Rachael, as more of a friend up until this point, only knew how to be less aggravating towards her. It was time to let Veronica know what she had done.

Hi, Mrs. Veronica. It’s Rachael again. Penny just left to go get alcohol. You told me you wanted to know when she broke any rules. Also, she just spent the last 10 minutes cursing.

Rachael hit send and waited for a reply. She got a soda from the fridge, then plopped back down on the couch.

Hi, Rachael. Thank you for letting me know. Please tell me if she has any alcohol on her breath when she gets back, or if she drinks any tonight. I don’t have any issue with her BUYING alcohol. I have an issue with her drinking it. We’re still working on her alcoholism slowly. Going to buy it lets her get off some steam. Drinking it is what I’ll punish for. I’ve given away a fair amount of alcohol that she’s bought and never drank. That’s okay.

Okay. Thank you, Mrs Veronica. I just want to help do what's best for her. Also, we both just got fired from work. So there's that.

Oh no! I'm so sorry, Rachael. If there's anything I can do to help, let me know.

I will. Thank you.

The text conversation ended. Rachael started to call Penny, but thought better of it. "She needs to let off steam. Wait. Be patient," she thought out loud. Rachael went upstairs to start repacking her things again. Waiting was hard for Rachael to do sometimes. She worked hard to occupy herself with repacking things and cleaning a few messes around the house. Half an hour or so had passed when Rachael heard the front door open again. Half an hour was just enough time to get to the store, pick up something, then drive back. Penny was back. Rachael went to meet her at the door.

“I’m sorry I told on you.” Rachael said softly.

Penny stood in the entryway with a wine cooler in her hand. The bottle was still full and unopened; Rachael had glanced at it while walking towards her. Penny looked calm now.

“It’s okay, kiddo. I’m glad you did.” Penny stepped inside and sat the bottle down on the floor. After a pause, she hugged Rachael. “No drinks for me. I just wanted to get away for a minute. Drinking is a slippery slope. A slope I don’t need to start sliding down. Especially now. You’re so important to me, Rachael. I don’t want to do anything to hurt our relationship. I don’t trust myself when I start drinking. That’s no good for either of us.”

Rachael returned the hug, squeezing twice as hard as Penny had.

"Thank you for loving me so much, Penny. How can I help you feel better?"

Penny sighed. "Get me a new brain?" She smiled weakly.

"Sorry. I only have one." Rachael smiled back. “Maybe one day we can swap them. We could take turns inside each others head. That’d be cool.”

Penny's phone buzzed. Rachael heard it, then waited to see if Penny would answer it. Penny ignored it. Rachael suspected that Veronica was checking on her directly. She hoped that one day Penny would check on her like that, too. The thought of having someone in a caregiver role who oversaw her actions was thrilling. She was a little jealous of Penny being looked after, though she was more concerned about why Penny refused to answer her. Penny ignored her phone because it meant trouble, most likely. Just like a child, Penny thought she could avoid getting in trouble if she ignored the adult. Surely she knew the futility of doing so. Veronica would be here this weekend, which was only a few days away now.

Penny moved the wine cooler to the kitchen counter, then went into the fridge for a cold water bottle. Rachael's phone dinged. Veronica had texted.

Penny is ignoring me now. This isn't a punishable offense, but since she's jobless, there's no good reason to do that. This will be handled this weekend.

Rachael responded with a quick Ok. She knew Penny was in a lot of trouble this weekend and she was only making it worse. Rachael watched Penny plop down on the couch again, still ignoring her phone. Rachael sat beside her and put a hand on her leg.

"You don't seem to be taking Miss Veronica's rules very seriously at all. You're not answering her, either." Rachael waited for a reply. There was conflict on Penny's face. Her past self would have drank, ran, and hid from it all. Drown the feelings of misery, doubt, and worry. The newest version of Penny fought back. She wanted people to help her, but old habits were still so easy to slip into. Reach out and ask for help. Accept the help. There was no shame in being helped. Penny’s old self screamed at the childishness of being helped, but she was actively learning how to redirect that energy.

"I'm sorry." Penny looked down at her lap and tapped her fingers on her legs idly. She wanted to be better. There was solid reasoning behind the silly game of authority that Veronica and Penny played, too. The past was dark and scary, but avoidable in the future. Penny was making good strides towards positive changes in her life and the dynamic that she and Veronica shared was part of that. Maybe Rachael could be, too.

“It’s okay. I love you. I’m sure the rules are hard to follow all the time. I mean...” Rachael realized that Penny could have taken a condescending meaning to that. She quickly corrected, “The rules can change priorities and make you feel like they’re no longer important.”

“Yeah.” Penny looked at Rachael and smiled. She saw only love in Rachael’s face, even though the words stung a bit. “I love you too, kiddo. I need to keep my priorities in order. Things happen, we put on our big girl panties and deal with it… in the right way."

"I want to make a 'big girl panties' joke right now, but I'm not going to. I'm," She raised her hands to make air quotes. " 'mature'. But yes, you're right. We deal with it in the right way. I'm proud of you. No matter what."

"Thank you. Well… I guess we should start packing. Do you want help?"

"No, thank you. I want time alone to think about what I'm doing next. And I don't want to bother you with what I want to do. You're probably not in the mood for me to be a crinkle butt after today, are you?"

"You're right. I'm really not."

"It's settled, then. If you want to talk, call or text me. I want to be present for you," Rachael sighed. "even if 'present' isn't in person."

"Thank you. I guess I can pack, too. My lease is up soon anyway. Thank you for looking after me."

They both went upstairs to pack up Penny's suitcase and Penny left soon afterwards. Rachael was alone in the house now. Rachael could feel an eerie presence once Penny had left. After finishing a good amount of packing, she decided to take a shower, then get ready for bed. Her pajamas tonight would be a tshirt and diaper. Nice and comfortable, but not too babyish. Picking this particular outfit invited self acceptance, but didn’t leave much room to invite self loathing. After her shower, she put on her pajamas for the evening and got into bed. Penny’s scent still clung to her pillow. Rachael wrapped her arms around it, breathing her fragrance in as she closed her eyes.

Outside, the moon lit up the back yard. The presence from before came back. It was less eerie this time. Somehow, it felt the same as a friend coming to visit. Familiar, yet strange. Just as before, Rachael felt something bump her, but not on her skin. It was an emotion inside her head again, but not her own.

Greetings

‘Sal?’ she thought to herself. She opened her eyes and looked around the dim room. At first, she didn’t see anything. Her bedroom was just as it was before. She turned on the lamp and looked at the ceiling, floor, then back to the wall opposite her. Two large, transparent eyes looked back. Rachael jumped at the sight, then recognized them. “Sal!”

Friends. Reunion. Celebration.

“Why are you here? Are you okay? And… you’re real!”

Then an emotion washed over her that was so familiar. A warm, caring comfort. The ability to trust an individual completely. A relationship where dependence was rewarded.

Mother

Rachael felt another emotional surge within her. These emotions felt rich, nearly overpowering compared to Sal’s. Different than Sal’s. A larger presence. Two more eyes popped into existence. They were transparent as well, sized roughly three times the diameter of Sal’s. They were almost larger than the wall. With the eyes came emotions so vivid and rich, they were like words.

Hello. I am mother of the one you call “Sal”.

“You…” Rachael was afraid. She replayed her time with Sal in the holodeck in her head. Sal never hurt her. Surely… his mother, apparently… would not either. As Rachael placed a little trust in this new set of eyes, she could feel Sal’s mom trust her as well.

You escaped my offspring from oblivion.

While nearly the same as words, Rachael was sure that some of the mother’s words were getting lost in translation. It was still incredible that they could communicate at all. “Yes. I help those in need.”

Gifts, I send merrily to you. Suck time is dreams but dreams make fake reality reality.

Rachael was completely lost at the last part. Just as she did with Sal, she repeated it aloud, with mental pictures of what she thought it meant. “Suck time is dreams?”

Apologies. Language is difficult. Pacifier time.

A glowing purple pacifier popped into existence at the edge of the bed. “Suck time is a pacifier. Okay. ‘Is dreams’?”

Pacifier make dreams. Wonderful dreams. Try.

Rachael was hesitant to take a pacifier that seemed to come from a different dimension. She often tended to err on the side of caution. Still hesitant, she looked at Sal and his emotions urged Rachael to try it. Carefully, she picked it up and looked at it. It was slightly warm to the touch and seemed to emanate some kind of energy. Slowly, Rachael put the pacifier in her mouth. It had a hint of chocolate on the teat.

Her bedroom dissolved and suddenly she was on the bridge of a starship. A dream. But in the dream, she didn’t see a pacifier in her mouth. She reached for her mouth anyway and the pacifier was still there. Present, but invisible. Just like the machine at work. Rachael pulled it out and her bedroom was back in an instant.

Pacifier make dreams. Dreams make fake reality reality.

Sal’s mom seemed to sense Rachael’s confusion already, so she rephrased.

Dreams are not real. But not real, changes the real.

“What? Not real changes the real?" Rachael was lost as to what this could mean. And what did that have to do with dreams or a pacifier? She was going to continue asking questions, but Sal’s mom suddenly changed mood. There was a sudden urgency to leave. They had to go away. It was urgent that they go home.

You'll see us again in your dreams.

Then they were gone. No presence, no eyes, no emotions besides her own.

"You'll see us again in your dreams." She thought that was a bit cryptic, among all the other things Sal's mom had said. It had been a long day. Maybe this pacifier would help her get some good sleep. She laid down and brought up the covers. As she turned off the light, the pacifier seemed to glow more brightly.

"Let's see what these dreams are all about." Closing her eyes, she popped in the pacifier and was back on the starship.

A short woman with curly red hair stood in front of her, smiling. To her side, a large brown bear stood with its arms behind its back. It spoke.

"Hello, Captain. We've been expecting you."

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