#also it took forever to find a song that remotely fit bc for once i wrote the fic before i found a song to put at the top

[backwardscapsmh]

day 4 of @omgcpanniversaryweek: free space

this hops/bully fic has been in my drafts for a while so i kind of finished it?? idk how i feel about the ending at the moment. anyways, enjoy! comments and constructive criticism are appreciated! 🥰

oh, cause to tell you is too scary // so i’ll just say something else // like how was fall semester // and what was that song about? // i’ll try to hide the way i feel // but i’ll just wanna shout

- pancakes for dinner by lizzy mcalpine

Hops is not nervous, okay? He’s not nervous in the slightest. He’s the epitome of calm. He is as cool as a cucumber. He is, as Nursey likes to say, chill. Really, he is. It’s just that he’s going to Bully’s dorm. And his roommate is not going to be there.

And it’s not like he’s against hanging out with Bully, with no one else around. He actually likes hanging with Bully alone a lot. Bully’s awesome! He’s funny and calming and talented and...Hops just likes him a lot. He’s a good friend, so of course Hops likes hanging out with him.

But sometimes he looks at Bully, with his gorgeous long hair and just all around attractive facial structure, and he thinks some things are much more on the romantic side of things, rather than platonic.

His head fills with daydreams of Bully wrapping his arms around Hop’s waist as they cuddle on the couch. Bully wrapping his large hand around Hop’s own. Bully letting Hops run his fingers through his hair. Bully pressing soft kisses down his neck. It’s not something he should be thinking about a friend. A strictly platonic one.

But it happens sometimes. He can’t help it, especially when they’re alone. Bully will settle closer to him, and Hops will then be hyper-aware of their proximity. He’ll only be able to focus on how he could reach out and just grab Bully’s hand, or drop his head on his shoulder. It’d be easy, but then he remembers how his feelings would ruin everything. So he puts more space between them, but then all he thinks about is Bully.

It’s just better for everyone involved if there are other people around when they hang out. Other people to distract Hops from his feelings for one River Bullard.

But he doesn’t want to be the weird friend who can only hang out with someone if they’re in a group, so he forces his feelings down when Bully suggests he and Hops watch one of Hop’s favorite animes together. He said he wanted to watch it because Hops talked about them so much and they sound interesting. And how can Hops say no to his crush telling him that he wants to watch something with Hops because Hops told him it was good?

He can’t. So that’s how he ends up here, in front of Bully’s dorm door, ready to go in there and watch anime on Bully’s college mandated twin size bed, when his roommate isn’t there.

So yeah, maybe he’s a little nervous, but he’ll be fine. He swears. It’s not like Bully is going to be any different than he is normally. Hops can pretend that he only has platonic feelings for him. He can totally do that.

So he knocks on the door, completely confident, and then Bully opens the door. He takes a look at Bully as the door squeaks slightly on its hinges.

Oh fuck. He can’t do this.

No one told him that River Bullard wore glasses?! Why didn’t he know that Bully wore glasses?! Why did no one tell him that he looked fucking hot in glasses too?!

No one could have warned him?! No one could have said “Hey Hops, just a warning, Bully wears horn-rimmed glasses and he looks like every single fantasy of a hot man you’ve ever had. Prepare yourself,” and given him time to prepare?!

Because he definitely needed that warning. Bully looks so hot it’s honestly insufferable. His long hair is pinned up with what he can only assume is a normal Ticonderoga pencil, which is already causing poor Jonathan Hopper’s heart to do jumping jacks. He’s wearing an old t-shirt with some faded lettering that Hops can’t be bothered to read because he’s distracted by how the fabric stretches across Bully’s wide shoulders. And of course, perched on his nose is the offending pair of glasses.

Hops thinks he might pass out.

“Hopper? Are you okay?” Bully asks, tilting his head sideways, eyebrows furrowing.

“Huh?!” he startles, nearly dropping the microwave popcorn and blanket he’s holding.

“You looked kind of scared for a minute there. I didn’t mean to startle you dude.”

Hops nervously chuckles. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

“Alright. Let’s get started! I’m really excited to watch this. It sounds cool from what you told me,” Bully’s smile is blinding as he leads Hops into his room.

His room doesn’t have any shocking changes Hops wasn’t aware of. He’s been in Bully’s room before so he knows what to expect. This is familiar territory.

“Thanks for having me over man,” he says as he and Bully both settle on Bully’s way-too-small-for-2-hockey-players bed, arms barely brushing.

He’s trying to focus on other things. Like the pictures of Bully’s roommate’s wall. Like the Spider-Man print on the blanket his mom bought for him when he got into Samwell. Like Bully’s hands typing on the keyboard, queuing up Sk8 the Infinity. Like the wisps of hair that have fallen from the updo Bully did with a pencil. Like the few sporadic freckles that dot Bully’s face. Like Bully’s deep brown eyes.

“You good?” Bully’s voice snaps him out of his daze.

“Yeah,” he manages to choke out, smiling as best he can. “Just a little distracted.”

“Okay. If you don’t want to watch this we can do something else. I don’t mind.”

Oh my god, could this man get more perfect?

“Nah, I love this show. Let’s do it,”

“Alright, if you need to leave, just let me know,” Bully smiles at him before pushing play and settling back, his shoulder lighting pressing into Hops’s.

If only he was brave enough to reach out and tangle their fingers together. Or brave enough to tell Bully how he really feels.

Maybe one day, but not right now. There’s too much at stake.