#also it has been a year and i'm a totally different person now i would've done a completely diff thing

[boycottmakeup]

i think i'm gonna bring a pic from my end-of-semester voice studies performance (i sang creep in clown drag) to the jinkx m&g, for her to sign so i can feel somehow validated for my shitty beat and cringe song choice

[sflow-er]

It's Eurovision week, and for the first time in over twenty years, I won't be watching or engaging.

As you probably know, the global BDS (Boycott, Divest, Sanction) movement has called for a total Eurovision boycott due to the EBU's refusal to ban Israel.

The ESC has been a beloved part of my spring since I was little, and it's really fucking upsetting not getting to enjoy it this year - but that's just it. I know it won't make any difference whether one person chooses to watch or boycott, and that my watching it wouldn't even be registered as a view if I just watched the TV broadcast instead of the stream, but I can't imagine any set of circumstances in which I would enjoy it.

Back when the contest was held in Tel Aviv, I "bought myself a license to enjoy it" by donating to the UNRWA multiple times what I would've normally spent on voting, but no amount of donations would be enough to do that now. Not when every artist will be styled using the products of an Israeli beauty brand (Moroccanoil, a major ESC sponsor and likely a major player in why the EBU wouldn't even consider a ban), and when Israel itself has made its participation a political statement. The only reason their public broadcaster KAN agreed to change the lyrics of their entry, which originally referenced the Hamas attack and is still was called "October Rain" but has now been renamed "Hurricane", was this:

The president [of Israel] emphasised that at this time in particular, when those who hate us seek to push aside and boycott the state of Israel from every stage, Israel must sound its voice with pride and its head high and raise its flag in every world forum, especially this year. (The Guardian, 07 March)

Singer Eden Golan has also said that she believes her "participation is part of a very important mission for the country" and that she expects to begin her compulsory military service soon after the contest:

I still haven't enlisted in the army, and when I return from Eurovision, I'll report for my first call-up. In the first year as a returning resident, they don't call you, but that year passed and I was summoned – and my draft was postponed because of Eurovision. Doing army service is a mission, and I want to take the auditions to the military bands. (Israel Hayom, 22 April)

Yes, really. It's more likely she'll be some kind of PR ambassador for the Israeli army than be sent to Gaza with a gun, but still.

Many people are also upset about Palestinian flags being banned from the arena, and I'm not happy about it either, but I do think it's more or less understandable. The arena is a closed space, and any kind of altercation that might be sparked by those flags would be a big security risk. And at least if we are to believe executive supervisor Martin Österdahl, they haven't actually changed the rules; signs and flags with political messaging were always banned, and in this time, the Palestinian flag does send a powerful political message.

Then there's also the security risk associated with the event itself. Malmö is one of Sweden's most diverse cities, which also has both Jewish and Palestinian communities. According to a survey published on 4 May, 47% of city residents intend to avoid crowds during Eurovision. Mass protests and counter protests are expected. Events such as Quran-burnings by right-wing extremists are still allowed in the name of freedom of expression, even though the terror threat level in Sweden had to be raised to 4 out of the maximum 5 last year/this past winter due to precisely these kinds of provocations, and tensions will be running high. So even if the event itself manages to look as glitzy as always on TV, it will still be shadowed by what might be happening outside. Will there be unrest? Violence? How will the police respond?

There's no enjoyment to be found in any of that, no being "united by music" (the ESC slogan, which is a joke at this point). At least for me.

That being said, I do not judge you if you plan on watching. I understand that it's a huge annual tradition for many of us, and in these times, we need all the joy we can get. I also understand that it can feel like empty virtue signalling to boycott something when millions of others will tune in regardless - although it is good to keep in mind that this isn't some silly boycott started by social media activists on Xitter. It's a serious effort by the BDS movement.

I would challenge you to think about how you engage, though. If possible, watch it on TV instead of on stream, so your view won't be logged. (You could even consider waiting until the show gets posted on Youtube instead of giving views to the official stream, but I get that you probably want to see it live.) Try to abstain from hyping the contest or your fave entries on social media, and also from voting. Consider donating what you can afford to a charity that provides aid to Gaza instead (here's one list I found with a quick search).

And finally, spread awareness of the flip side. Don't be lulled into complacency by the claims of "Eurovision isn't political" when Israel itself has made it very clear it is - and do not make fun of people who want to sit the contest out this year or belittle their efforts.

[dontyouworrydaddy]

Can you please do 141 where the reader and them are talking about there Highschool years and like “I would have dated you in high school “ type thing THEN they see a pic of reader in high school (prom,first day,or any thing for that time) SHES FINE FINE like imagine 90s type vibe, then they remember what they looked like in that same year and they say back “ IM glad u didn’t meet me then cause u would have no interest “ AND SHES STILL FINE FINE where they think it’s a recent photo!

idk know what I’m doing I just got an idea and your my favorite writer so I wanted to let you know!!!!

YOU ARE LOVED!!!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️

thᥱ most bᥱᥲᥙtιfᥙᥣ ᥕomᥲᥒ ιᥒ thᥱ ᥕorᥣd

Task Force 141 + fem! reader

I ABSOLUTELY love this idea!!!! Like as soon as they see your pictures they‘re like "damn. I‘m glad we didn’t meet back then because she would definitely reject me and on top of that probably make fun of me." I‘m sorry but especially with Soap😭 This dude probably had the craziest hair back then (he still has but we love him for it).

Also I‘m so thankful for your kind words🥺🥺 They really mean so much to me and you just lighten up my entire day<33 I wish I could hug you right now☹️ Remember that you’re also always loved by someone and MEEE🫶🏻🫶🏻💘💘

Thank you really so so much 🌸💕💕

‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵

Simon Riley

It was a quiet evening at the your apartment . Simon found himself reminiscing about your high school years. As the conversation flowed, nostalgia filled the air.

"You know, Y/N, if we had met in high school, I would have totally dated you." Simon said with a playful smirk, leaning back against the wall.

You chuckled, a blush creeping onto your cheeks. "Oh, really? And why is that?"

Simon's gaze turned thoughtful as he recalled those distant memories. "Well, you are always confident and stunning. I would have been a nervous wreck around you."

Grinning, you teased, "Are you saying you weren't attractive back then?"

Simon chuckled, running a hand through his dark hair. "Let's just say my teenage years weren't my finest hour. I had an awkward sense of fashion, let’s not talk about my hair... Definitely not the smooth operator you see in front of you today."

Curiosity piqued, you both began reminiscing about those high school days. Simon had a mischievous idea and suggested pulling out old photo albums to see just how different you both were.

Rummaging through the dusty boxes, you stumbled upon a photo of your younger self. It was a picture from prom, in your beautiful dress. You were radiant, your smile lighting up the frame. Simon's eyes widened as he took in the sight.

"Damn, Y/N, you were fine then, and you're still fine now!" he exclaimed, feigning surprise.

You laughed, not realizing his little trick. "Well, thank you, Simon. I try my best."

Simon's expression shifted, his voice tinged with a hint of nostalgia. "You know, seeing this picture reminds me of why I'm glad we didn't meet back then. I don't think I would have stood a chance with you. You would've rejected me in a heartbeat."

Your smile softened as you leaned in closer. "Simon, you underestimate yourself. I would have seen the incredible person you were, braces and all. It's the person you are inside that truly matters."

Simon's eyes locked with yours, and a genuine smile graced his face. The air was filled with a sense of camaraderie as you both laughed at the absurdity of it all.

As the evening came to a close, Simon made a decision. He carefully tucked the photo of your younger self into his pocket, a keepsake of a moment he cherished. You remained unaware of this little secret, but somehow, deep down, you felt that this memory would always be a part of your bond.

John MacTavish

It was a lazy Sunday afternoon and John and you were lounging on the couch, flipping through old photo albums. The nostalgic memories flooded your minds as you reminisced about your high school years. The room was filled with laughter and teasing as you playfully pointed out your younger selves in various snapshots.

John looked at a picture of you, radiating confidence in a stunning prom dress. He couldn't help but stare in awe, captivated by your beauty and timeless charm. With a grin, you turned to him and said "You know, John, I would have totally dated you in high school."

John's eyes widened in surprise, his heart skipping a beat at your words. He never expected you to make such a bold statement. "Really?" he asked, a mix of curiosity and disbelief in his voice.

You nodded, a mischievous glint in your eyes. "Oh, absolutely. You are the mysterious and brooding type. I was drawn to that kind of intensity back then."

A flicker of doubt crossed John's face as he remembered his own high school years. "I'm glad you didn't meet me then" he said, his voice tinged with self-deprecation. "I had this crazy hair phase, and trust me, you would have immediately rejected me."

You chuckled, playfully swatting his arm. "Come on, John. Show me that picture. I'm sure it couldn't have been that bad."

John hesitated for a moment, then reached for another album. He turned to a page and revealed a photograph of himself, his hair styled in an over-the-top, eccentric manner that seemed to defy gravity. His expression was a mixture of embarrassment and amusement as he looked at his younger self.

You burst into uncontrollable laughter, clutching your stomach. Tears formed at the corners of your eyes as you struggled to compose yourself. John couldn't help but join in, the embarrassment fading as he found joy in sharing this memory with you.

Once the laughter subsided, you looked at him with a smile. "John, you have no idea how much I would have loved to meet that version of you. That hairstyle is absolutely cute!"

John's face softened, his heart swelling with affection for you. "You're incredible, you know that?" he said, his voice filled with genuine admiration. "Even if I looked like a total goofball, you would still find a way to make me feel special."

You reached out and took his hand, intertwining your fingers with his. "That's because I've always seen the amazing person you are, regardless of how you looked or what hairstyle you had."

John leaned in and gently kissed your forehead, his love for you evident in his eyes. "I'm the luckiest man in the world to have you by my side," he whispered and kissed you on the lips.

John Price

You and John sat side by side on the couch, flipping through an old photo album filled with memories from your high school years. The two of you had decided to take a nostalgic trip down memory lane. You couldn't help but smile as you stumbled upon a particular photograph that brought back a flood of memories.

"Oh my gosh, John, look at this!" you exclaimed, pointing to a picture of yourself at the high school prom. You were dressed in a stunning vintage dress.

John's eyes widened as he gazed at the photograph, taking in your breathtaking beauty. "Wow, you were absolutely stunning" he said, his voice filled with genuine admiration. "If I had known you back then, I would've also been head over heels for you."

A playful grin spread across your face. "Oh, really? So you're saying you would've dated me in high school?"

John chuckled, running a hand through his hair. "Well, I probably would've been too intimidated to ask you out. Plus, I had a weird sense of style back then. Trust me, you wouldn't have been interested."

Curiosity piqued, you leaned closer, showing him the photograph of yourself. "Well, let's see if that's true" you challenged him.

John's eyes widened even further as he looked at the picture. "Wait a minute, is this recent? You look exactly the same!"

You burst into laughter, your heart warming at his genuine surprise. "No, John, this is me in high school. That's why I said I would've dated you back then."

He let out a low whistle. "Well, damn. I definitely lucked out then."

You playfully nudged his shoulder. "Come on, John, you can't be that bad. Let me see your high school days."

John reluctantly handed you another photograph from the album, showing his younger self with a mischievous grin. He sported a rather peculiar outfit that seemed to be a mixture of different styles. It was elegant and had a touch of cowboy style, mixed…

You burst into laughter once again, unable to contain yourself. "Oh, John! I can't believe this was your fashion sense back then."

He smirked, looking slightly embarrassed. "Yeah, I had a bit of a weird phase. Trust me, if we had met during those years, I would've been instantly rejected."

You shook your head, still laughing. "Oh, John, you have no idea. Even with that fashion sense, I would've been all over you."

His eyes sparkled with affection as he pulled you into a tight embrace. "Well, I'm glad we met when we did, then. I wouldn't change a thing about how we found each other."

You smiled, savoring the warmth of his embrace. "Me neither, John. We're perfect for each other, weird fashion choices and all."

Kyle Garrick

Kyle and you sat side by side on the couch, surrounded by photo albums from your high school days. You decided to take a trip down memories from back then together. As you flipped through the pages, looking at the good old times, you stumbled upon a photo of yourself from prom night.

"Oh, wow!" You exclaimed, holding up the photo for Kyle to see. "Look at me back then. I can't believe how much has changed."

Kyle's eyes widened as he took in the sight of you in your beautiful prom dress, radiating a timeless beauty. He couldn't help but feel a twinge of regret as he thought back to his own high school days.

"I would have dated you in high school" you mused, oblivious to the effect the photo had on Kyle. "You're such a great guy, I would have definitely dated you."

A small smile played at the corners of Kyle's lips as he stared at you, captivated by your words. "Thank you love, but believe me, you're better off not having met me back then. I was a total nerd."

You furrowed your brows in confusion. "What are you talking about? I‘m sure you were cute."

Kyle's expression turned pensive as he reached for another photo album and opened it to a picture of himself from the same year as your prom. His hair was a mess, his glasses too big for his face, and his clothes screamed "geek."

"See?" Kyle pointed to his photo, his voice laced with self-deprecating humor. "I was a freak. If we had met in high school, I would've been immediately rejected. You would've never given me a second glance."

Your eyes widened in surprise, and then you burst into laughter, shaking your head. "Baby stop. You look adorable!!"

He blinked, unable to comprehend your words. "Wait, what?"

"I'm serious!" You continued to laugh, your heart swelling with affection for the man beside you. "You're looking at this picture like it's some embarrassing relic, but all I see is the person I fell in love with. Baby Kyle looks so so cute here"

Kyle's gaze softened as he absorbed your words. The weight of his insecurities began to lift, replaced by a newfound confidence in your unwavering love. "I‘m 17 here love… not 6…"

Placing the photo album aside, you leaned in closer to Kyle, intertwining your fingers with his. "High school was just a phase, but what we have now, this incredible relationship, is what matters. I love you, Kyle Garrick, then, now, and always."

Kyle smiled, his heart overflowing with love for you. "I love you too, more than words can express."

[majaloveschris]

I still think he is a good man who made a terrible mistake. I just hope the best for him, to be honest, which I know is an unpopular opinion now because it seems like wanting the worst for him is what is trendy nowadays. Maybe I'm naive; maybe I'm just holding onto an image, but I don't think the last 20+ years were a lie. I hope he will prove me right. //

I totally agree with you. I don’t think he’s a bad man. I do think he probably over shared a lot but also kept a lot private. To say now he is a totally different person no you can’t keep up the lie for over 20yrs and he has worn his heart on his sleeve many a time. Too many people he has worked with of all color and race have praised him. If he was a complete asshole it would be out there.

Whatever this situation is we don’t know and probably never will.

Let’s hope he can get past it and move on and we see the old and a more mature Chris.💙

Yeah, I simply find it impossible that someone could act like a totally different person for like 20+ years. And as you said, those people who've worked with him only have good things to say about him. If he were anything like them, I'm sure there would've already been stories out, and a lot of people wouldn't be friends with him. 

Yeah, we will probably never know what this whole thing actually was. Unless somebody leaks something,. 

And I also really hope we will get the old Chris back. 

[sapphire-weapon]

Not that anon but I want ur metaltango explanation 👀

ok well

I'm pretty high, so gomen if this is incoherent.

basically, we know exactly three things about Krauser's past:

he trained Leon

he loved his men but couldn't protect them, and then couldn't even die alongside them, and he feels incredible guilt over that

Leon says that he had a code of honor that he kept to, and the game outright says that he used to be a good guy

none of that

literally NONE OF IT

even hints that Krauser was an abuser. in fact, it paints a total opposite picture.

Krauser is a dark omen of what Leon could become under the right conditions, because he was also someone who believed wholeheartedly in the institutions that were supposed to support him, in the rule of authority and law, and in the chain of command -- all things that Leon believed in in RE2.

and just like Leon in RE2, he had all of that ripped out from under him in the harshest way possible.

but unlike Leon, Krauser didn't have a Sherry Birkin to protect. he was left completely and utterly alone. abandoned. and born from that trauma was a desperation to never have that happen to him again, which is why he goes out seeking power to protect himself with.

if Leon had had everything stripped away from him the way that Krauser had, who's to say that he wouldn't have become a villain himself? he certainly had justification for it, after all that'd happened to him.

and the game harps on this a few different times. Krauser says to Leon that they're two sides of the same coin. he also has a line: "I know your every move. you learned them from me." the implication here is that Leon is still walking down that path. he's not out of those woods yet. if he doesn't save Ashley... then what?

so go back and rewind now.

rewind to Leon being fresh out of RE2 and all of the horrible shit that happened to him and being placed under command of this man who's at least ten years his senior but still believes in all of the things that betrayed Leon in Raccoon City. that was probably a pretty powerful revelation for him, and -- knowing what we know about Leon -- it was something that he would've wanted to emulate. Krauser was a strong man who took no bullshit from anyone, but he still had things that he believed in. that's exactly the kind of person that Leon would want to be.

and like. Krauser couldn't have trained Leon with the efficacy that he did if Leon didn't trust him completely. like yeah, Leon ran missions with his unit, but their trainings were one-on-one affairs. if Leon didn't trust him, he wouldn't have been able to learn shit from him. and since Leon went into this relationship not being able to trust himself, even, after RE2, to be able to trust someone else to that extent is a Big Fucking Deal, actually.

like.

Leon doesn't want to fight Krauser in RE4make. and he certainly doesn't want to kill him. even after Krauser kills Luis, Leon's still trying to talk it out with him. because he loves this man. Krauser believed in him when he didn't even believe in himself, and Krauser's teachings are what kept him going this long.

and on the flipside of things, Krauser looked at Leon and saw nigh-limitless potential stuck inside of a man who was too broken to see it. the one thing that held Leon back was his own distrust of himself, and so it became Krauser's goal to build that confidence in him back up in order to unlock that potential. and to be a part of something like that -- to have that kind of effect on another human being's life -- that's some really powerful shit, too.

but then Operation Javier happens. and Leon lives, when all of Krauser's other men die. how do you cope with something like that? unfortunately, Krauser didn't.

so metaltango is like... at least for me...

it's a mentor/student relationship that's far more personal than that. Leon looks up to Krauser, sure, and Krauser has a vested interest in helping Leon become the best version of himself that he can, but... it's more than that. both of them saw pieces of themselves in each other. both of them drew hope from one another. but then that hope in both of them died, leaving them with nowhere else to go but spiraling towards certain destruction. the story between Leon and Krauser is a tragedy, but that tragedy wasn't born from abuse. it was born from the trust and hope and love that was lost between them.

my brain is melting

i hope any of this is making sense

[josephlikesmusic]

Live Show Review! The Saviors Tour (Denver)

I've been wanting to start reviewing the different shows I go to but haven't gotten around to going to one since I started this blog, until now! Green Day has been my favorite band for like 6 years now, and between the full album plays and how much I love the singles off of Saviors, I just had to go to this.

I had heard of the Linda Lindas before, but I constantly forgot to go check them out. I was pleasantly surprised to find out how young the band's members are, with the drummer being only fourteen years old! It's great to see musicians my age finding success in the music industry while also making great music. I love the whole cat theme the band had going on, and they all had great stage presence for how new of a band they were. I would love to see them live again, and wish the best for them in their future.

I've been a pretty big Rancid fan for a few years now, especially their album "...And Out Come the Wolves" and I loved the selection of songs that they played, although I do wish that they were given a longer set time. I know that Green Day was doing a massive set and that the Smashing Pumpkins are a bigger draw, but I would've loved to hear a few more songs out of these guys. Hopefully I'll be able to see them again in the near future as a headlining act!

I had seen the Smashing Pumpkins before, but I will say that I enjoyed this show a lot more. Maybe I was just disappointed that they didn't do an encore at their hometown show when I saw them headline at the United Center in Chicago... Either way, I always forget how many Smashing Pumpkins songs I enjoy until I go and listen and this was yet again the case with this show. I do wish that the band had a bit more stage presence, especially Billy Corgan, but their kind of music also doesn't really call for much. I wouldn't mind seeing Smashing Pumpkins live again, but I also don't think that I would go out of my way to watch them perform again. Two of their shows is enough for me lol.

Now for the big guns: GREEN DAY!! If you know anything about me then you know I'm the biggest Green Day fan ever actually. At one point I was in their top 0% of listeners in my Spotify wrapped, and used to be the top last.fm listener until people started to leave them on loop 24/7 to beat me (totally not salty about that). This was my third time seeing Green Day live, and I feel like every time they out-do themselves just a little more. It was INCREDIBLE seeing both Dookie and American Idiot live, and I just have so many videos of myself sob-singing along to about half of the songs they played. Seeing some of my favorite songs that I thought I would never have the chance to watch live was actually life changing. From Having a Blast and All by Myself off of Dookie, to Homecoming and Letterbomb off of American Idiot, I really was having the time of my life. I was also glad that I was able to see the singles from their latest album, Saviors, but I will NEVER get over the fact that they debuted 1981 the SHOW AFTER I SAW THEM LIVE LAST SUMMER. (They actually hate me personally) I am so grateful to be able to see that amazing set, Green Day really made a night that I will never forget and I can't wait to see what they do next. (PINHEAD GUNPOWDER PLEASE ANNOUNCE A US TOUR PLEASE COME TO COLORADO)

[isa-ghost]

Isa my darling! Happy Birthday, albeit a couple of days early.

Seeing you screech in Philza's streams because Apollo hit you with that dodgeball yet again makes me giggle a lot.

How about since headcanon's for qPhilza's past/pre island relationship with qFit. How they got to know each other, and how quickly they became friends?

Idr if I said this on Tumblr yet but deadass I asked Apollo on my pendulum if qPhil is his blorbo and he said yes. He's been as invested in shit as me and it's been hilarious. I literally have crows yelling at me irl to keep writing rn but I'm answering headcanons first.

The entire time I've been distracted between writing these, crows have been yelling at me about it. Which. Is how Apollo communicates with me when I'm not actively talking to him through readings LMFAO.

Also thank you for the birthday wish :D [desperately hoping nothing else horrible happens this weekend please god]

Anyway qPhil headcanons masterlist let's go

Disclaimer that I didn't know of Fit before QSMP (I've only been in mcyt for 4 years monkaS) so these are gonna be largely pulled out of my ass and a lil repetitive.

These two both have experiences in anarchy and war, they've definitely brushed shoulders a couple times bc of it

They admired each other's work ofc. Phil is a macro scale kinda guy, total annihilation and victory that makes a statement. Fit's more of a micro scale kinda guy, zeroing in on one person or group individually and making their lives hell until the end in the name of surviving a little longer

On that note, I think we all sleep a little bit on the fact that Fit is Also a survivalist like Phil, just in a very different set of high stakes conditions. These two are equally skilled in it and equally sharp strategists

On that note, anyone who knew them from the past would fear the idea of them coming together to create a plan of any kind, especially of the anarchist-fueled variety. If the Federation has done their research right, they should know full well how terrifying this duo could be in an effort to dismantle their authority

Btw by brushing shoulders I don't just mean brief passings by, I mean they've like. Camped out for a night together, temporarily truced for the sake of safety in numbers, etc. More than a few conversations have been had even if the time they've spent together totals to less than a week.

However, even when they weren't actively paired together, they'd still occasionally trade or gift each other surplus resources. It was a genuine kind act, even if it simultaneously served as a reason for each of them to not come after the other. I scratch your back, you scratch mine.

Like why do you think Fit was one of the first threats on Phil's mind in Purgatory. He Knew(tm). And he knew Fit has an affinity for picking off the weak first, like a lion after a herd of antelope. To him, Purgatory was the awakening of a monster who'd been dormant for a long time.

See, present day they're QPR as fuck, they'd never do this now without 10x the pressure Purgatory put on them, but back in the day they took close notes on each other's strengths and weaknesses. Just In Case, yknow? They could very much kill each other. Back in the day they would've if it came to it, no matter how good an ally they were.

Something about how these two used to be so cold and hard to the world. Be it to self-preserve or some other reason. Something about how now they've both softened and warmed after becoming parents. They never could've imagined the other would "weaken" like this, especially back then.

Phil 🤝🏻 Fit - Phil being a historian of the deities/builds of his Hardcore World, Fit being a historian of 2B2T

A lot of this boils down to mutual respect, common interests, and secret admiration tbh. And what's more homoerotic than that?

They're both crisis preppers. Not doomsday type shit, just. Being ready for shit to hit the fan. They both come from places where life is significantly more dangerous than it is in other realms.

The crazy thing is though? Despite the above, they can't imagine being from each other's realms. Phil would LOATHE 2B2T and Fit would hate the absoluteness of Hardcore. Isolation is absolute, death is absolute. There's no wiggle room or margin for error.

With how adaptive the two of them are due to their origins, they could probably acclimate to any conditions. They'd complain about having to, especially if it was inconvenient, but they could. They used to swap tips & tricks with each other on how to improve their adaptability too.

Fit would've 100% been down to join Phil on Doomsday in DSMP. He was thoroughly impressed when Phil told him the story.

[wenevergotusedtoegypt]

Were you able to get to know your husband's parents before committing? I can't imagine choosing to marry into a family I dislike so much. Actually before I got married I split with a guy because our families just couldn't get along 😅 How do you feel about having to be so stressed about them for the rest of their natural lives? Or do you prefer to not be very close with extended family?

No, neither of us met the other’s parents until we were already engaged, although that wasn’t intentional (I very specifically wanted the parents to be met before an engagement, but, long story for a different post if you haven't been around here to see it previously, we got engaged when we did by accident). We only dated for 3 weeks before getting engaged and my in-laws live over a thousand miles away from us. I video called them shortly after we got engaged and met them in person about a month after we got engaged/2 months before we got married and that was the only time I saw them before the wedding.

I'm not sure that I would've gotten to know them well enough to take issue with them prior to the wedding even if they had been local and I'd met with them several times, though. One of the biggest issues is that my MIL gets offended easily and then instead of speaking to the person who offended her, complains to my FIL and/or my husband and tries to get them to fix it for her. I feel like if this type of thing had happened when we were only dating, my husband just wouldn't have told me about it and I wouldn't have known. The first time I offended her was at our wedding. She called him crying about it the next day or the day after but he only told me about the whole thing much later on. To my face she didn't give even the slightest hint of being upset at the time.

But, even if I had gotten to know them better beforehand, I can't fathom choosing not to marry my husband because of them. It would be one thing if there was some kind of toxic dynamic between him and them that would impact our marriage. But he gets just as frustrated with them as I do. Until this year we typically only saw them in person once a year-ish (less during covid) and the family group chat with them is not very active (mostly just my MIL wishing us a Shabbat Shalom every Friday and us sending a handful of grandchild photos every few weeks). Actual required interaction has been minimal and that means that the vast majority of the time it's a total non-issue, even though when it IS an issue, it's a big issue. To give up the man I love because I have to interact with his parents maybe 1% of the time wouldn't be a rational decision.

Also, to be clear, it's not even that I "dislike" my MIL. She isn't a bad person and she doesn't have bad intentions, she just has severe and completely untreated anxiety, probably also some level of depression, but refuses to recognize that there is a problem and therefore refuses to seek help for it (my husband has tried to get her into therapy and she rejects it out of hand). I feel extremely bad for her. It must be horrifically difficult to go through life the way she does. But also...she is incredibly hard to be around and now suddenly she wants to see us multiple times a year.

[fandomfluffandfuck]

You can absolutely totally ignore this because I know it isn't your usual subject matter but I was wondering if you had any thoughts on Steve and Bucky interacting with Peter? Not in a shipping sense of course they have a like 90 year age gap and Peter's still very much a baby but oh my god they'd be so silly interacting?

Like you can't tell me Bucky wouldn't be like fuck now I have to deal with TWO assholes who don't look after themselves first.

I personally prefer Peter and Bucky over Peter and Tony.. and idk I feel like Peter and Steve would just get each other. Aside from when Peter does something Steve totally would have done but Steve has to be the adult and tell him he shouldn't do it again. :p

Bucky and Steve would be really good parental figures I think.. or even actual parents.

Anyway we have like 2 seconds of them all interacting in civil war but hope in further marvel projects Bucky and Peter actually form some kind of relationship, I think it would be sweet.

I'm not sure I have a ton of thoughts--mostly agreement to what you said--but I will say I LOVE the idea of them together and getting to enjoy each other's company rather than being on opposing sides in Civil War and the limited shots of them together in Endgame and such as you said. Particularly, though, I wish we got much more Steve and Peter, not to ignore Bucky, but I just think they're so similar. It would be trouble, them together.

I'm also thinking a little about Chris and Tom's interactions, and I think they would have fun together on set, too, like--

gif credit to @/mamalazzer

Yeah.

Regardless of the actors, Steve and Peter would get into so much shit. They would undoubtedly double Bucky's average number of heart attacks per week if they were around each other and super-heroing, lmao.

Plus, I do wish pretty often that we got Steve as Peter's mentor rather than Tony. I just think it'd have been neat. Tom Holland's Peter Parker, as he stands now, in canon, isn't really a neighborhood Spiderman anymore. He's the next Iron Man. If he had been metored by Steve--and by extension by Bucky because those fuckers are attached at the hip--I feel like he would've stayed much more neighbourly and would've filled an entirely different role.

Also, if we're going on about what could've been, imagine if Aunt May in the MCU was that grey-haired, take-no-shit lady that she was in the comics? Then, we could've had Steve and Bucky and May interactions where she loves those old men in young guys bodies 💀💀 That'd just be good for everyone

And, just for fun, here's some of my favorite Steve and Peter posts that I could round up:

Queens & Brooklyn

Fatalistic humor

More humor

The acts

Peter's questions

Modern slang

What if Steve was Peter's mentor?

So, I will echo you--I think it'd be sweet!

[larathia]

TBHK #119 Thoughts

I'm going to say up front that this month's post is less 'theorizing' and more 'gut feelings that lead to probably-wild guesses'. I can't really say I have a whooole lot of Evidence for my take on things. Just that this is the impression I got from this chapter, and maybe it'll make sense to you and maybe it won't.

Ok? So here goes.

I feel that Amane is not entirely aware of what is going on, or what he's doing. It looks to me like he's...I think the best word here would be 'leashed'. He's leashed to the Red House, where everything else is bound to it/bound inside it. There are times when Amane is himself, and times when he's dominated by the Red House, and probably a lot of points in between, where he may do a thing in a moment and forget that he did it by the next.

I think part of the reason this continues is - he's not like the Minamotos. He's not naturally sensitive to the supernatural. In this AU where he's never been a ghost or a Wonder, I think his memory is subject to the same "tendency to forget" as any other mortal, and I think the Red House takes full advantage of that.

I think the Time Shenanigans of the Red House mean that in some timey-wimey way, Amane is actually immortal. The house may be empty and in ruins on the outside, but entering it puts you in timey-wimey space and you can walk back into his normal lifespan.

That said, since the house IS decrepit now, and abandoned, and he'd be in his 70s or so...and we only see his 'adult' form an not any kind of aged form...let's just say I have a bad feeling I don't want to know how Amane dies in this timeline ok?

Now...this is my Crack Theory of This Timeline.

I think the Clock Keepers went back in time to the six months when Tsukasa had disappeared and not yet reappeared. I think they did something at that time to bind the Red House Entity (RHE) to that location, and therefore not to Tsukasa. Tsukasa is thus purely a ghost.

I don't have any idea what happened to the parents. I'm not even going to speculate on when or how they died - but I can tell you where they died. They died in the Red House. And when they did, they became more ghosts to feed it. Bound to it.

Amane, too, is bound to the Red House. But he's different, because Tsukasa is there and I think Tsukasa really wants his brother to be happy. So for Amane, the house...probably eased his loneliness a bit, even if he couldn't sense the spirits there.

It's possible, though, that he can feel his brother's presence. They're twins, after all. And I think Tsukasa's ghost can leave the House when he's with Amane - that'd be the Entity's ticket into the school. Tsukasa can still talk to/work with the RHE - he just can't use its power. They're not unified. I think while Amane was a student, and then again as a teacher, Tsukasa's ghost influenced the students of the school and Tsukasa occasionally fed students to the RHE.

When Amane retired...that would've stopped. He wouldn't be going to the school, so Tsukasa wouldn't be going to the school, so no more students to sacrifice to the RHE.

And then Amane ...must have died. At which point his ghost has the same kind of partnership with the RHE as his brother, only he isn't four years old. And he's far more connected to the school than the other ghosts in the house, and so he becomes the yudasgoat to lead them to the RHE.

I think something like this must be what's going on, because Amane doesn't seem fully aware of what's going on - and then his personality flips and he TOTALLY knows. And the exorcists haven't had to fight a lot of supernaturals (a lot more minamotos are still alive, and not working their asses off) which is a side effect of people being sacrificed to the RHE.

I don't think Amane is Secretly Evil. I think...he genuinely is basically the same being we've seen all this time, a lot kinder than he wants to admit to.

And I also think Teru was right - growing up did not mean he was able to be happy. I suspect the kind teacher was so kind because that was the closest he could get to having friends.

That said, GODDAMNIT YOU STUPID KIDS GO FIND TSUCHIGOMORI ALREADY.

[8bitsupervillain]

Higurashi When They Cry Hou Ch. 7 Minagoroshi pt. 6

I'm trying to remember if there's any character who is actually relevant to the overarching plot I haven't at some point accused of being an antagonistic force or working for whatever the big bad actually is. Keiichi, I don't think I've accused, because unless they're playing the long game he's too much of a boob to be an evil chessmaster. And Satoko, maybe? I'm pretty sure at some point I've pointed the finger at all of them.

The reason I say this is because looking at the text as written it's very clear to me that Hanyuu knows more about the circumstances around Rika's death than she's letting on. She knows the culprit, if nothing else. The why of it is something I can only speculate on. Perhaps in a different timeline Hanyuu let Rika know exactly who was behind her demise in 1983 and she attempted to take that person out but failed? You'd think though that at some point during the hundred years worth of reliving these events over and over again Rika would've tried relying on Irie, Takano, and Tomitake at a few times. I know that Hanyuu specifically says Rika tried once, but you would assume that if for no other reason than to test the variability of events she would've tried using them before.

Well I guess that would explain that away. It just strikes me as odd that despite living these hundred plus years she was only willing to try it once, and then never again. Especially since later on in the chapter she mentions that she feels a growing desperation to alter her fate in any way, shape or form. I guess it's really just because of the news that she is running out of Hanyuu's power to rewind time that she's trying out new methods?

Now, I don't want any confirmation either way, but it seems to me this is pretty deliberately setting up the idea that Takano is somehow behind Rika's death in June of 1983. It stops just a little short of outright accusing her directly, I would assume primarily because of the fact that how could she really be behind Rika's deaths since she always turns up dead before Rika? Takano has, in all the earlier chapters, wound up dead alongside Tomitake either on the night of Watanagashi or the very next day. Unless this is some elaborate red herring, the visual novel sure seems to be going to some effort to paint Takano as the culprit behind Rika's death.

See this makes me really curious what exactly Hanyuu is. Is she actually just the reincarnation of Oyashiro? Which, that would certainly do a real number on the theory put forth in Tsumihoroboshi. Or is she just some extraplanar entity, similar to the witches in Uminkeo? It's been mentioned a couple of times that Hanyuu has been alive for longer than she's known Rika so what exactly is she? I am totally willing to accept the idea that Hanyuu is Oyashiro, there's a moment coming up very shortly where she reacts rather negatively towards the theories Takano has about Oyashiro, the sacrifices and all of that. But it's just what exactly she is in the cosmology of the setting that stokes my curiosity. Another thing that I'm curious about is her usage of the word we. "All we want is a happy life for Rika." She's always just used the word I to describe herself, never we. So I can't help but wonder if there's some other entity like her keeping tabs on Rika.

Also, at risk of repeating myself I'm very certain that Hanyuu knows more about Rika's deaths. Certainly she's shown that she knows the how and the when it happens, but I think she also definitely knows who is behind it. I have the theory that she's just keeping the information to herself about who kills Rika away from her, most likely in a misguided attempt to keep her sane and alive as long as possible. Perhaps she knows that if she tells Rika "oh yeah, Jimmy's your killer." that Rika will just go and try to solve this time loop problem with violence. Or maybe I'm putting too much stock into this character and what she knows. But I get the impression when they reveal who's behind it all (probably by the end of this chapter), she'll just be standing there pretending to be shocked that it was actually whoever. Takano perhaps.

[simm-mouse]

Alright part 2 of my theory on hidden Nervous. I'll have part 1 linked if you haven't read it yet. I suggest reading that one first before this one

Alright, you know the section where I theorized that psp and hidden Nerv being the same clone? Forgot about that part, I no longer believe in that theory(if you personally believe this however that's fine, I'm just changing my views on it.). If you look on the wiki, there are a total of 5 versions of Nervous Subject. We already have two in Sims 2, but he also appears in 3 and 4. But the one in Sims 3 isn't going to be talked about cuz it's just him as a toddler, which doesn't really make any sense because mostly the adults and elders in 2, are children or have not yet been born, not even Glarn and Kitty appear, but Glarn's parents Notso and Zo appear not even as teenagers yet. If we go with the more common theory for the sims timeline that each game adds 25 years later besides 3, which is supposed to be a prequel, then Nervous would be an elder or dead. Which doesn't make sense (I know it's more the fact that the developers didn't really focus on the timeline from the other two games when adding premades from other games, but still it's confusing).

So we're gonna focus on hidden, psp, and 4 Nervous. All three are clones of Nervous. All three are different from the original as the Sims 2 shows copies of some Sims and they're not identical to the original. I mean look at Pleasantview and strangetown's Bella Goths, their appearances are different. Even though all four look different, one thing's the same. All four smell of trauma and cat piss

Hidden would actually not be seen outside of the house as he never got to explore out into the world before his death(which fits more with the name hidden Nervous). He still ages into an elder by the Beaker's experiment. But they didn't have enough elixir of life to age him back, so he didn't get age down right away. So after they torture him he goes up to the roof to look at the sky. Just like with the friday the 13th video, He dies by getting struck by a meteorite.

For psp Nervous, he looks the most normal out of all versions of Nervous. It's pretty known why he's like that, but I like to think that he's the most genetically accurate. He'll have Olive's, and Grim's biological genetics before his death. So he'll be almost completely different, other than having the same clothes, it's hard to tell that he's even a clone. So it's very easy for him to walk around town and not be mistaken as the original Nervous. He would still say that he's just working for the Beakers as a way to hide the truth from others. He probably was caught after they found him trying to sneak out, and that's when It was impossible for him to escape and had more painful experiments done on him. His body just couldn't take it anymore, and that's when he was shocked to death by one of the machines used on him. Well shit, two clones are dead, hopefully the next one doesn't die

The current clone they have is the Nervous from the sims 4. Even though that game is an alternate universe or some dumb shit that messes with the timeline, he's a Nervous so he's gonna be talked about. This Nervous is trapped with now four Beakers. Yes, Atom and Ceres also torment this man. They'd even put the blame on him for the trouble they caused. He has yet to go out and explore the world, so right now he's stuck in the house.

Does Nervous know that he has clones? Probably, he figures that the Beakers would clone him if they haven't put in the effort to get him back since he ran off to live with the Curious brothers. Has he ever met the psp Nerv since he's the only clone that went outside? No, if so they would've been fist fighting

[pixelateddork]

HEHEHE Finally ready to ramble about Grandpa >:3c

Context! This was in response to the anon who asked something along the lines of "Since you've read the books, do you think Arsene would be a good grandpa or would he still try to steal his grandson's kidneys?"

OKAY SO I do think he'd be a good grandpa to little Lupin, but I don't think he'd be perfect. No where near the lengths or organ stealing or just...general child abuse and/or neglect though. He's a flawed person, and I love that about him. Now fair warning, 99% of this is going to be me rambling about my own HCs and such so don't mind meee…

He'd be around 80 or so when baby Lupin is put under his care. He'd been retired for a good long while at that point, and in my personal timeline he's wife had died maybe around a year before he starts caring for Lupin. So for a good while it would've been just him. his garden, and his house workers(He has friends sorta everywhere, but the death of his wife really hit him hard. He's doesn't tend to handle loss very well). Then, one day a baby Lupin is left at his doorstep, and one look at the little one and he decided "I'm going to take care of him".

First off, let's get this out of the way…he'd still teach little Lupin how to be a thief. Arsene finds a lot of pride in his theiving, and genuinely considers thieving to be a job. Sooo like with Nisei, he'd train Lupin and teach him everything he knows about how to be a gentleman thief. But this time around he made more of an emphisis on that it was Lupin's choice to become whatever he wanted thief included. Along with theivery, he'd teach Lupin everything he'd learned throughout his life. He always made sure that Lupin knew that he had the freedom to chose what it was he wanted to do with his life. That whether or not wanted to become a thief, that he wouldn't stop him...Though of course since he took a lot of pride in his theiving, he'd of course talk about how great it was, and recount the stories or what it was like. He didn't tell his grandson everything though. Arsene wanted to make himself look cool for his grandson, someone worth looking up to. And to do that, in his mind he had to...omit of few things from those stories.

He'd also definetly express his disdain for those with lots of power and money, and he'd make it clear there was a massive difference between him and any common, petty theif(which Lupin took to heart as he grew up).

Aside from mostly being taught at home....Arsene would spoil the hell out of this kid, even more so than his own son. There was something about Lupin specifically, the child reminded him so much of himself. He's a totally softy for the little one and treats him as if he were his own child, to the point of frequently calling him "Mon bébé". Along with that he'd given him plently of nicknames as he grew up, one of them being "Loopy".

Okay before this gets any longer, I think you get the gist of my ramblings. I do think he'd a good grandpa. He'd grown a lot since his days as a thief, and even since his days raising his own son. He'd be a lil pushy, would definitely spoil his grandson, maybe even kept him a lil too sheltered for a little too long, and had a few secrets about his past, but had good intentions at the end of the day. He cares very deeply for his grandsom and wanted to give him all that he could, making sure he got the life Arsene didn't have growing up. And most of all, he wanted to at least push him in the right direction, hoping that Lupin wouldn't make the same mistakes he did.

[sapybara]

I've been a huge q fan in the past so I know all his history. I am not even surprised, how long has it been since we found his server management to be sketchy, not even talking about his merch compagnie. 

In no fandom have I ever truly called anyone a BITCH and a cunt . But he is one. Hey, I never expected anything from him about Shelby/ or Wilbur and forever, we know who he is and he does not give a fuck, but to lie so blatantly about how much involvement he has in the qsmp management, that a scrum!! Dude, how could anyone believe him?? It makes NO sense!

Exploiting workers, literally putting anti unions mesures , stealing people ideas (fans on twitter) then blocking them (probably not him who did it but he still got credited for the ideas and said nothing)

That's to ONE thing I will get entertainment CC crucified for. It's not difficult to not be a greedy corporate snake, especially when you are already so rich! 

Fuck QUACKITY

Also, people who say that he is just shocked because Wilbur was one of his bff so he doesn't want to go into (any) detail about that: Q and Wilbur haven't been close for half a year and Shelby posted her video a long time ago. Even Tommy said something for fuck sake!

You are literally talking with dtblr last quackity main™ believe me I know what you're talking about, I'm not surprised either.

His stans are being all "they were close friends! Give him some time!! You're all being cruel" well first of all they were not. Second of all, I do not want a statement, a simple kicking him out and asking people to support victims would've been enough. But no, he talked about it for the grand total of THRITY SECONDS, didn't mention Shelby or any victims, didn't mention he's an abuser, and made it all about him. How this is hard for HIM and how sad HE is, etc etc.

He goes on saying he "didn't know the volunteers weren't being paid" and that he thought it was a process were they would eventually (!!!) get paid. Excuse me? How do you not know? One thing is asking the admis not to spoil you what will be tomorrow's event and another radically different thing is saying you don't know what's going on in YOU OWN TEAM of YOUR SERVER. Especially not when it's your money ffs, do you not know where's that going? Do you not know who do you work with? You can't just brush it off as "not knowing" when it's your fucking enterprise. And im not even mentioning the whole NDA thing and how no one could even speak to CCs or other admis off stream, how they were requested to censor themselves in their personal accounts because "controversies" (real life crimes) could stain the server's name. Be for fucking real.

He doesn't even talk about all the merch problems, the fake giveaways and how ridiculously sketchy his merch company (that he/his family owns!) is.

Look I'm not trying to be a hypocrite here, I don't wanna apply dranti logic and demand a perfect apology and explanation the second all exploded. I'm not gonna ask him to know about every little conversation that goes on inside his server or discord. I'm not gonna say he doesn't have the right to mourn whatever friendship he may have had. But that doesn't mean I'm not fucking pissed and none of that excuse him for not knowing what's going on with his employees, his merch and reducing the actions of TWO abusers to "controversies". He needs to be held accountable, but, funnily enough, his fans are too parasocial to realize they're babying him and telling everyone who listens how he's not responsible for anything and it's the higher ups fault. His name is literally everywhere, he prides himself of being the owner and sole inventor of the server, how much higher can you go from there?

I'm upset about the poor guys who are being exploited and actually pity the fans that truly can't see what's before they eyes. Hope those people have it better from now on, but Quackity? He can go cry about it on stream if he wants, this entire thing has been a mess since before it started and I'm happy to see it crashing down. Deserved!

[sol-consort]

God to be a male Quarian getting hit on by femshep, should’ve been me, anyway looked him up and apparently he was based on Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, specifically a combo of the two, and considering they both die at the end his ending probably wouldn’t have been too happy. He was also described as a boisterous ladies man, so I guess that’s why he gets excited when someone actually likes him. You wouldn’t have been able to romance him if you were too renegade for him and his goal was to prove that the Geth are now less of a threat. His introduction seems to have been given to Garrus considering they’re similar (shootout with criminals on Omega) maybe Garrus wasn’t gonna return before they cut him?

Also random fact I came across Garrus is 2-4 years younger than Shepard

By the way how is Miranda in your ME3 playthrough?

Glad to know we all collectively are down bad for femshep in here. Oh, to be a barracks bunny for the femdom lieutenant commander, a person could only dream.

Like it doesn't even have to he a full romance or anything, just being Shepard's squeeze toy whenever she's too fed up with this demandinh world outside, and instead would rather spend time with you in this soft bed inside. She'd be absolutely relentless and insatiable, I don't think her libido is ever sated tbh, a lot of times it is the other person insisting that she waits to sleep with them rather than the other way around.

Hell Shepard seems down for it 24/7. You'd get some bullshit job on the Normandy but will spend 90% of your time on her personal deck. The second she boards the ship after a mission, she's requesting your presence upstairs in her qaurters to...debrief you on the aftermisison report, nothing else. Mhm.

I'm just saying I am a simple person and I would put out on the first ever conversation femshep has with me, no renegade or paragon pointchecks. No required time to romance me, and not even locked by a certian level or plot checkpoint. If a woman like her tells me to shut up and bend over after five minutes of meeting me then you know that's exactly what I'd be doing.

Anyway, so back to the main topic.

Miranda is doing well! I saved her sister in ME2 but didn't let her shoot her bestfriend, then I encouraged her to speak to her sister. I took her to the final mission in facing the human reaper and she told the illusive man that she quits after he threw a hissy fit over me destroying the reaper.

In ME3, she asked for some documents from the alliance and I gave it to her. Then I met her again during the Kai Leng chase and she killed her father and saved her sister. Miranda is dandy as far as I'm aware.

-

And I can't stop thinking about the male Quarian. Ugh. Imagine someone who knows he can't have sex with people but still is a relentless flirt with the ladies, like the clear cardboard faux playboy badge he wears is so pathetic and adorable.

It's like he is using the Johnny Bravo method of hitting on every woman he sees, and eventually, one of them has gotta bite, right?

So for someone like him not to only have his "incel mimicking a chad" strategy work but also hit the jackpot and get the commander Shepard? Hallelujah! Ring the bells! Call your mom and tell her you've fucking made it Ma!!

Because Shepard too can be a bit of a playboy at times, except with the game protagonist logic, we get to be the successful one with the smoothest flirting lines. Now you have two people interested in each other, with one that's an embarrassingly terrible flirt and another who people would pay to sleep with them.

Personally, I really like that he is on the side of the Geth because Tali starts off being hostile to them, and it would've made a perfect chance to view both sides.

His dynamic with Tali would've been very interesting, two people with similar backgrounds and experiences who came to two totally different conclusions on how to handle to the Geth.

Because it is so easy for paragon Shepard to side with the Geth. Like of course you feel sympathy for them, you're human. It wasn't earth they stole from you.

Imagine it. Imagine the outrage if some random species you made steals earth from us and we are forced to move onto fleets. I would've fucking gone full renegade and demanded my planet back immediately.

But because we are just outsiders on the geth problem, we can't relate or have a clear perspective on how the qaurians must feel. We only get to see the most hostile of them and the hate towards the geth. That other admiral was the cloeest thing to a pro-geth quarian but even he was an annoying character who antagonises you and Tali as his introduction in the ME2 loyality mission.

So the male quarian love interest being sympathetic towards the geth would've filled a perfectly empty spot we were missing for the full picture of the geth quarian relationship.

Samara has a similar thing in ME2, where if you're too renegade, she doesn't indulge you in the romance attempt and immediately shuts it off. But if you have very little renegade points then she says your heart is pure and indulges you more, let's you try and convince her and it's so clear she is struggling not to give into the temptation before leaving the room.

The Quarian kink is so real, now I understand why you like Tali so much oh god. Someone willing to experience sickness just to fuck you? Damn that is some determination.

[deedjre]

oc-tober day 2: new character !! yippee. pretty ironic to be reusing art on this day specifically but i digress. this is my oc john. name picked specifically for how normal it is. his full name is john rider (no middle name but if he had one it'd be thomas bc that'd be really funny to his british friend). John's initial idea was conceived around may of 2023, i believe? as he originates as a non original character from an au. he, in this form, was actually created closer to december of 2023. oh shit he's almost a year old. anyway even funnier is that i have two versions of him pulled from two aus of the same thing. i could've made a different guy for the second one but he would've been a very similar guy. same goes for colin (his british friend/roommates/lover. his head is also in this ref) but i'd like to think colin's been around for longer. since he got his name first lmao

(prompt list) (more on john below. sensitive topics related to addiction prevail)

this ref is the same continuity of john and very hard for me to look at due to the white bg. a bit on john is that he has been wearing the same navy colored hoodie (based on a hoodie that i have, actually, though the one i have has anime girl on the back) since highschool. this is because that's funny to me and also it's his comfort item and i personally have a hard time letting go of items i like. he also was given a scarf that i have. this is because i don't know how to design clothing. i'll get into like personality and other shit in a bit

this is the other version of john (from the 60s rather than modern day btw) that focuses a LOT more on his personal struggles. as you can see here, he has a mullet /j that's not what's wrong with him. he smoked during highschool, got throat cancer, got a total laryngectomy (surgical removal of the larynx/voice box) and then got TEP surgery for one of three reasons. reason 1 (meta) i needed him to be able to talk over the phone and to people who don't know ASL. reason #2 he thought he needed to be able to do that. reason #3 parent executive decision. this goes for both timelines though in the modern one i retained it mostly for flavor. here, though, it's uhm yeah it's for the same reason but he's a lot more insecure about it. in both versions he is an anxious, depressed, autistic mess of a man with a stutter. basically the developmental stutter stuck and it was getting better but then he got throat cancer and the trauma at least made it 10x worse and he couldn't be bothered with speech therapy. his voice is also raspy because i can't think of a reason why it wouldn't be. i also like to discolor his fingernails bc of the smoking habits. in the 60s version he has gum with him that he chews on to try and like. satiated the urge to smoke. i don't think nicotine gm was invented YET so it's probably just like regular gum. might take lemon candies as well. i focus more on his alcoholism in the modern version bc in the modern version he basically just replaced one addiction with another.

oh and in the modern version the part of the timeline i'm focusing on is completely different and i didn't even get started on his full backstory. but in the modern version post apartment era (2011-2017) he moved to somewhere else and got a small home with his new beard (she's there to get his parents off his back and also bc she's his bestie from the 60s version and i like her). then he went bankrupt after some time and was homeless for a year or two before ringing up his old roomie colin. anyway that's why he's noted as being underweight in one of the refs. his clothes are very baggy on him and he wears a men's size small.

anyway i could go on nd on for WAY too long about him. i did a lot of research. his salary in the 60's is 5k as a data entry specialist, now data management (which is a new job for the time). and in modern day, he gets the same job bc all his college money was used on surgery. i didn't do the math on that one specifically but it felt about right. my therapist is like "wow you do a lot of research on your characters" and the answer is no not usually it's just these two (second guy being colin btw).