#also in the uhhh 15? years since i left home my mom's come to visit me like 4 times?

[killerchickadee]

Like, you try not to be resentful and bitter that everyone else is spending time with their family right now, and you're just chilling alone in your apartment as always. Like. That's an effort.

But sometimes it isn't easy.

But you try anyway cause you don't want to be That Guy and also being resentful and bitter doesn't do you any good.

[project-stormblessed]

1-50

Alrighty!

1. What color are your socks?

All of my socks are either completely black or black and gray. Lol.

2. Have you ever lied about your age? Why?

Only once when I was like, 12 or 13 making a second Youtube account lol.

3. What is something you regret in the past month?

Becoming distant and isolating myself from most of my friends. Quarantine has not been good for my mental health tbh.

4. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Honestly? Not sure. Part of me doesn’t, and part of me does. Can’t really get either part to agree one way or the other.

5. When was the last time you wrote someone a letter on paper? Definitely well over a decade ago. Honestly can’t remember.

6. How old were you when you first learned how to ride a bike? Who taught you?

I was 11 or 12, and it was my older brother Jack who taught me. He also taught me how to drive lol.

7. Do you get along with your parents? Why or why not?

We get along well enough. Now that they’re retired the house is a much calmer environment.

8. What’s your favorite season?

Spring. I love seeing everything in bloom—the colors are very pleasing to me. I love seeing lots of green, and lots of lush plantlife.

9. Do you currently like someone?

Hmm, not entirely sure about that one. I guess I don’t really have any strong feelings for anyone in particular. Maybe. 👀👀

10. Have you ever used an Ouija board?

Nope, and I don’t plan on it.

11. What’s the last song you sang?

It was a song for choir this past semester, though I don’t remember the title that well or the composer.

12. What’s your favorite scent?

Never really had a favorite scent, honestly. My sense of smell has been pretty dull/weak for as long as I can remember and I’ve never really given much thought to any favorite scent.

13. What’s your favorite urban legend?

The Roswell UFO incident of 1947. It sparked my interest in aliens and UFOs at a very young age, and is probably responsible for a good deal of my love for sci-fi.

14. What’s a bad habit that you have?

Poor self control when it comes to time management. I tend to let myself get absorbed in things.

15. What’s a strange habit that you have?

Hmm. Totally blanked and could only come up with “making noises and pretending to be a mech of some sort when moving around my house”. That’s all I got.

16. What’s the first instrument you learned to play?

Piano. I started learning at 8 years old.

17. How would you describe your ‘type’?

Y’know funny enough I’ve never really thought I had a type. However reaching my mid-twenties has made me realize that my ‘type’ is kind, compassionate, goofy, and nerdy/geeky.

18. Would you rather stay in or go out?

Depends on the company, I guess. Though, usually I prefer to stay in anyway.

19. What was the last thing you said to your mom?

“I’m taking Dax out.” When I went for a walk with my dog lol.

20. Do you want to get married someday?

Definitely didn’t used to. I’m at the point where I’d be down if my partner wanted to, though I’m not sure I’d wanna spend a shitload of money on a wedding. Guess it depends on financial status at the time and the preferences of my partner.

21. Have you ever snuck out?

Nah, though I never needed to. My parents typically let me leave house whenever I wanted to as long as I told them who I’m with and when-ish I’m going to be home.

22. Can you sing well?

I can match pitch pretty well, but I can’t produce pitch un-aided. Usually. So kinda. I’m ok at best, all things considered.

23. What’s an embarrassing thing that happened this week?

I went off on some of my friends over something kinda silly because my mental state as of late hasn’t been all that great.

24. When was the last time you went sledding?

Uhhh, definitely more than ten years ago.

25. Have you ever liked/do you like someone you know you can never be with?

You kidding me? That’s like, all of my crushes ever. Maybe that’s an exaggeration but honestly it’s certainly FELT that way each time.

26. Do people often mispronounce your name?

No, though I have known a few people throughout my life that said “Bin” rather than “Ben”. I eventually realised it was an accent thing and stopped giving a shit very early.

27. Would you like to live in another country?

Yes, actually. For no small number of reasons. I’ve always wanted to live in Italy ever since I visited when I was 15.

28. Do you like to watch ghost hunting shows?

I definitely used to. I don’t really watch tv much in general anymore, though.

29. Who was the last person you said “I love you” too?

My mom.

30. What’s something you’d like to be better at?

Social interaction. Speaking in general. I’m MUCH more articulate in writing/typing than I am speaking.

31. Have you ever stayed up with someone who was sad?

Yes, and I’m always willing to do so.

32. What was the last thing you cooked?

I helped my good friend prepare some bomb ass ramen a few months back. I guess that counts.

33. Do you think you’d make a good parent?

I’d like to think so, yeah. I would make sure my children know I’m always there for them and will support the hell out of them.

34. Do you have trouble sleeping at night?

I don’t, but my dipshit body does.

35. Where is your best friend right now?

All of them are either playing video games or asleep.

36. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

Factoring in every aspect of the morning ritual, about 40 minutes. That’s if I’m going somewhere like work or school. If I’m staying home then there’s no getting ready for anything but sitting on my ass lol.

37. How late do you usually stay up at night?

Depends on the time of year/what I’m doing the next day. Right now during quarantine I average anywhere between 2am and 6am. I’m trying to fix that currently.

38. When was the last time you cried and why?

The last time I truly cried was sometime in 2015. I was listening to Breaking Benjamin’s latest album and feeling exceedingly lonely/depressed. It wasn’t a great day.

39. Have you ever won a contest?

None that I can remember, honestly.

40. Can you draw well?

Lol. No. I have very little visual artistic talent or skill.

41. Would you ever date someone you met on tumblr/the internet?

Definitely, though obviously I wouldn’t just jump right in. I’m down for long distance relationships, too. But obviously mutual trust and emotional connection would have to be established first.

42. What was the last thing you ate?

Some brownie fudge M&Ms lol.

43. Do you think you’re/you’d make a good boyfriend?

I don’t really know. Never been in a relationship so I don’t have anything go off of. On the one hand I’m super understanding, laid back, and accepting of boundaries. I just want to make sure people feel comfortable and safe around me. On the other hand I’m also forgetful and very selfish when it comes to my time. I also obviously have plenty of emotional trauma/baggage (who doesn’t?) that tends to impede how I interact with people, so. 🤷🏼‍♂️

44. Have you ever had a near death experience?

Not that I can remember, and I hope I never do. The closest I think I ever came was when I fell off a ropeless bridge into a dry riverbed at 4 years old. Got a concussion from that.

45. What do you think people think of you?

Well, my anxiety tells me I’m annoying and boring. The logical side of me tells me most people in my life enjoy my company, so I guess there’s that.

46. What is your middle name and do you like it?

Don’t feel like sharing my middle name here, but I will say I don’t dislike it. Kinda neutral.

47. Are you close with either of your parents?

Kinda. My parents were often emotionally distant/abusive to my brothers and me growing up, and it’s left me rather stunted emotionally, and generally unwilling to establish a deeper relationship with them. We’re a bit closer than we were when I was a teenager, but honestly not much.

48. Do you like yourself?

Generally speaking? No. There are parts of me I’m proud of, but honestly I often find myself wishing I was someone else. I’m far from the self-loathing I experienced when I was younger, though.

49. State five facts about your appearance—

1. I’m 6’1”-ish.

2. Definitely just a bit chubby.

3. Blue eyes.

4. Currently sporting longer hair because I haven’t had a haircut since about September.

5. I have a number of faded scars on my arms from various self inflicted/work related injuries. All of them were caused by extreme clumsiness/poor spacial awareness.

50. State five facts about your personality—

1. I’m super goofy��I make lots of weird noises and motions.

2. I tend to ramble about things I’m interested in, particularly hyper fixations.

3. I like to think I’m a pretty compassionate human being.

4. Extremely awkward, but strangely that doesn’t show because I’m apparently a social chameleon.

5. I’m an observer, but also an overthinker.

Whew, that was a lot! Thank you, friend!

[svtbiasrekt]

NewParent!Vernon

oh mah gawd this is such a late request i am so sorry anon i hope you love it tho :’) Under keep reading since its long af

New parent!Vernon

Oh boy our boi Vernon’s gonna become a dad

You and your husband Vernon were pretty shook when you both found out you were expecting

But it wasn’t a bad shook oh no of course not

It was a super happy shook

Like vernon’s eyes widened but he had the biggest grin plastered on his handsome face

“OMG Y/N I’M GONNA BE A DAD!!!”

“Yes honey you will be a dad” you said as you playfully rolled your eyes lol

Vernon was super enthusiastic so as soon as he finished calling his family and seventeen to deliver the news he wanted to start on the nursery

You and Vernon agreed on painting the nursery a pastel baby yellow color since it was gender neutral since you didn’t know the baby’s gender yet plus it was a nice color

Soon you found out you’d be having a daughter!

And boy was hansol enthusiastic

“I’M GONNA HAVE A LITTLE GIRL!!”

You could tell he might end up spoiling her

Sigh

But aren’t dads supposed to spoil their little girls?

You’re due date was approaching very quickly

You were basically 8 ½ months long when Vernon FINALLY decided to start constructing the crib

And boy was he struggling

You were in the other room when you heard a hushed “oh shit” followed by a crashing noise https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUUUI5EvylY (skip to 3:40)

You chuckled and walked (waddled) to the nursery

And there you saw a collapsed crip with a defeated Hansol next to it

“Do you need help lol?” you asked.

“YES but no i don’t want you to wear yourself out” said Vernon

Aww he’s so sweet

“Don’t worry Y/n i’ll finish this soon”

15 minutes later you heard the same hushed “oh shit” followed by a crashing noise

Oh god Vernon

Eventually he ended up calling Seungkwan to help

Seungkwan was probably the most excited out of seventeen for your new bundle of joy

As soon as Vernon told him the news he literally SCREAMED

Like the other members almost went deaf

Seungkwan even teared up a little since he was sooo happy

So anyway Boo was now at your house and was super happy cause the one and only uncle boo will have credit for helping make the crib

He asked questions like if you and vernon were ready or not and stuff

“Hell no!” laughed Vernon

This boi was pretty nervous as your due date approached

But you assured him he’ll be a good father

He still doubted himself tho :\

After like two hours of more hushed “oh shits” and sassy outbursts at the “problematic crib” the crib was finally built

“Y/N THE CRIB IS DONE!” yelled Vernon

“Yeah after like two million years ughh” whined Seungkwan

You only chuckled tho at the two bffs

Once Seungkwan left hansol became all serious

You were like what’s up?

“I couldn’t even build a crib how will I be a good father!!” asked Vernon sadly

..what

Damn he was nervous

“Hansol just because you can’t build a crib doesn’t mean you’ll be a bad father! you‘ll be the most caring and loving dad i know it.”

“You really think so?” he asked

“Of course”

“Thanksss” he said as he rested his head on your shoulder and wrapped his arms around you

Aww

He was being a lil softie

Anyway your due date came along

Both of you were super nervous but excited too

And all that nervousness and excitement for nothing

You never went into labor!

“SHES LATE” you whined overdramatically

“MY GOD BABY GIRL YOU HAD US WAITING FOR NOTHIN” whined Vernon

“We might as well go to bed” you told your hubby

“Yeah i guess so” he said as he climbed into bed

As soon as you were about to get into bed you felt your water break

ARE YOU SERIOUS

RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY BED (SALAD)

“Oh mah gawd MY WATER BROKE!” you screamed

“AHHH” screamed Vernon

“Uhhh HOSPITAL?? NOW??” you yelled. You didnt mean to sound harsh tho but you were quite in labor and in need of a hospital so

Vernon scrambled to help you into the car and made sure to drive carefully to the hospital

As you were driving you remembered the hospital bad

“Hansol… you packed the hospital bag right?”

“I THINK”

Ok this boi seemed more nervous than you the hospital bag can wait

Anyways

You make it to the hospital and the pain has gotten wayyyy worse

But despite all your screaming

And death grip on vernon

He still stayed with you for 9 fucking hours of labor

As soon as you heard your baby girl cry you saw Vernon’s face relax

And you of course cried at the sound of your baby

Vernon’s eyes were filled with wonder though as he saw and heard her daughter take her first breathes

He then looked over at you overwhelmed

All he could do was mouth ‘thank you’

And then tears flooded out from his eyes as he broke out into a smile as the doctor came forward to hand you your daughter

My god was she perfect

She had your hair color and eyes

She had hansol’s nose, smile, and eyebrows

She was so cute omg

You stared at her for a while and remembered vernon probably wanted to meet his daughter too

So you carefully handed her over to him

The same guy who thought he’d be a bad father remembered to carefully hold up her head and cradled her ever so gently

You’d say he’s got this fatherhood thing all right so far.

And omg vernon was so cute with her

Like he started a whole fucking conversation with her omg

“Hi baby girl! I’m your daddy and that’s your mommy! We’re at this place called the hospital…” and so on

All while more tears streamed down his face

And when she gripped his finger with her tiny hand

It was so precious but kind of hilarious

He made this sob-like kind of noise? It was hard to describe tbh but you giggled

You two were still not quite sure what to name her

Vernon suggested that her middle name could be his mother’s name (cause you know how much he loves his mom it’s so precious)

Btw his mom’s name is Melody

And you agreed with that idea she was a nice lady and obviously Vernon loves her a lot and Melody is a nice name

“Since i picked out her middle name you can choose her first name” said Vernon with a sincere smile as he pat your little baby’s head

That was so sweet omg

You decided to name your daughter D/n because (insert reasoning)

Soon Vernon’s family arrived and were thrilled to meet D/n

His mom really liked her middle name too haha

Your family came as well

Then of course Seventeen came to visit as well!

Seungkwan in particular, however, came in BAWLING

“SHE’S SO PRECIOUS!” he whisper yelled

All of seventeen wished you both congratulations

They were so sweet and already loved D/n

The8, being the artsy photographer he is, offered to take a family photo for you two

And of course you two said yes

And my god that was such a sweet photo

The members who were already parents were like “welcome to the club bro” to vernon

He was officially part of the parent line!

Anyway you two finally got to take D/n home

You “Checked In” to the home together as a family for the first time

“I check innnnn, Chwe house” sang Vernon oh god

You just rolled your eyes playfully at him he was so goofy

It was late like past dinner time and you and Vernon already ate that hospital food which you were tired of

D/n on the other hand was wide awake

You were surprised tho you thought she would be asleep by then but nope

So you and hansol decided to give D/n a tour of the house

Vernon pretended to be the tour guide while you held D/n and followed him

“And over here is the toilet, which you’ll have to learn to use someday” said Vernon

“And finally this is your place D/n” he said motioning toward the yellow nursery

D/n was obviously too young to process all of this so she just kind of stared and squirmed

You noticed Vernon kept staring at his daughter in adoration

“Hansol?”

“Yeah” he didn’t take his eyes off her

“Wanna hold her?” you asked extending your arms toward him

“YES i mean yeah sure!”

He held her carefully and just couldn’t stop smiling omg

D/n let out a tiny yawn so you instructed Vernon to carefully place her in the crib he spent so much time working on

“But i don’t ever wanna let go of her!” whispered Hansol

I mean who could blame him

D/n was such a cute baby

But cute babies need sleep

After explaining that to him he reluctantly placed her in the crib and she fell fast asleep

You both proud parents awwed at your beautiful daughter

“C’mon Hansol lets go to bed”

You two went to sleep

Compared to other babies D/n wasn’t that bad

She only cried like twice during the night

And that was usually for feedings or diaper changes

And you and Hansol bolted out of bed to see what was wrong

You two decided that you would be in charge of feedings and Vernon would be on diaper duty

Within the first week D/n went through so many diapers and bottles omg

Also within that first week you and Hansol were so tired

It was hard raising a newborn and being first time parents

But you two worked really well with one another

When hansol had to go back to work he made sure to ask the ceo if he could leave a little earlier to check up on you and D/n

Ceo said yes thankfully!!

So when hansol would come home early you’d get an opportunity to shower and catch up on sleep while he watched D/n

“Y/n! I’m back!” he’d yell enthusiastically

You were on the couch feeding D/n who ate a lot

“Hi Hansol!” you smiled tiredly

“Lemme take over from here” he said as you passed D/n and her bottle to him

“Thank you so much honey” you smiled and kissed his cheek

“No problem!” he grinned and continued to feed D/n

You went to go shower quickly since its hard to shower when you have a newborn

Meanwhile Vernon decided to talk to his daughter

“So D/n, guess what happened at work today?”

D/n just stared at him with curious eyes

“Uncle Boo thought he could rap my super quick verse in our newest song, but he failed SO BADLY hahahaha”

He just kind of went on talking to her like she was any other person

Even tho she couldn’t understand what he was saying since she was just a week old

“Also D/n, if you have a favorite parent by now, i hope it’s your mom, because she does sooo much here for us”

By this time you had heard what he just said since you just finished showering

“She would be going to work too like me, but she’s staying home to take care of you cause she loves you so much! So don’t give her too much trouble, ok?”

You felt your heart melt omg

Because

AWW HANSOL WAS SO SWEET

And hormones too oh god

You cried a lil but you won’t admit it

So you went to bed in peace and made sure to thank your wonderful husband for his kind words

Man Hansol is such a sweet father and husband you were so thankful

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #476

“yeah, i am the brain, some say insane”

What is your favorite Pixar film? Finding Nemo. Who was the last person to send you any sort of message on social media? My sister Misty. Would you rather build a snowman or a snow fort? Why? Snowman. I think you can personalize them better. At what age do you believe children should begin having screen time? I don't know. I guess it would depend on the kid. Have you ever failed an important test? Which subject? Yes; I failed my last Algebra final and the course. Who taught you how to ride a bike? How old were you? My dad. Idr how old I was. Do you know what your ring size is? What is it? Nope. When you picture dinosaurs in your head, what color are they? Like a darkish red or green. Last candy you tried that you did not enjoy? Or one that you did enjoy? No clue. Were you a chubby or thin baby? I was your average size. What is the most outrageous thing you’ve considered doing lately? Trying to get a cubicle job. Like seriously, NOBODY wants those. I don't either, but I just don't know what other options I have that don't require a degree and I'm not flocked by other people. I'd probably have some duties on the phone, but like... I'm not going to find a job I qualify for that is perfectly reclusive. Have you ever known somebody who ran away? Not personally, no. Rollercoasters that go upside-down… yes please or no thank you? NO FUCKING THANK YOU. Can you have kids? I would assume so, but honestly I wish I physically couldn't with how intensely I fear being raped. Are you a fan of Elton John? I've never really listened to his music and know very little about him as an individual. What does your town’s name begin with? "R." Are you a seafood fan? Nooooo. The one and only seafood I enjoy is shrimp. Give me a random word in another language. Tell me what it means. "Himmel" is "Heaven" in German. Odd how that was the first one to come to me, ha ha. Which city would you like to visit- Rome, Tunis, London, Madrid or Paris? Rome. New tats in your near future? Sadly no. :/ I have to focus on more important things. Did you ever participate in beauty pageants as a child? No. I don't support those. Have you ever ridden in a limousine before? No, but I've always wanted to. :( What's the most amount of money you'd pay for a house or a vehicle? Idk, considering I'm not familiar enough with what is considered reasonable and average for either. What's the longest wait time you'll wait at a restaurant to be seated? If it was actually up to me, shit, maybe only 15 minutes. I am way too impatient, and I'd rather just go to another place than wait for a while. Have you ever been given a responsibility that you couldn't handle? Did you mean: my past three jobs? Did you ever try to start a club as a child? For what? I feel like my friends and I did before... but I remember nothing of it. Who was your favorite babysitter as a child? My sister had this friend in our neighborhood as a kid whose grandparents used to watch us. The grandpa we knew as "Uncle Donny," and he was bar none our favorite. He was such a sweet man. Have you ever cared for a stray animal before? Cats, on many occasions in the past. [TW: SUICIDE/OVERDOSE] Have you ever contacted a suicide or crisis services hotline? For whom? Yeah, for me. I tried first to reach them online in one of those private chatrooms, but I want to say I waited around 30 minutes with nobody available. I was so desperate that I tried calling too, but again, it was too busy. That's when I ODed. Is there anyone from your family that you no longer associate with? I have an uncle by marriage that's an abusive, manipulative fuck that NOBODY associates with, except his brainwashed daughters. Do you have any illnesses that reoccur frequently? I mean, I have mental illnesses that flare up now and again, but no traditional illnesses. What is your sexual orientation? Queer or pansexual, idk man. Have you ever done any drugs harder than marijuana? I've never even done weed. What is one job you would never want to have? I would, no exaggeration, rather die than be a butcher. I could never in five trillion years. Do you bite or peel your string cheese? I don't like string cheese. Who crosses your mind the most? Girt, nowadays. I know, a fucking shocker who wasn't the answer. Have you ever been on a scavenger hunt? In school, yeah. Ever been to an auction? No. Are there two colors that you just simply despise? Puke green and yellow. If you were a fish, what colour would you like to be? I wanna be the Rainbow Fish. :') Did your first real significant other change you at all? You have literally no idea. Are you waiting to have sex until you’re married? No. What’s your favorite football team? I don't like football. Or even understand it. Do you have anything autographed by a celebrity? No. What’s your favorite way to eat peanut butter? Gimme a Reese's and I'm a happy bitch. :^) What’s your favorite kind of sandwich? I'm basic, just hand me a pb&j. How are you today? Worried about my mother since she has Covid now. I'm not feeling too hot, either. Was any of your home decor inspired by Pinterest? No. What is this month’s calendar picture? I don't own a current calendar. What is your last ex-boyfriend’s or ex-girlfriend’s name? Sara Jane. I prefer to refer to her as just my best friend, though; "ex" usually implies negative feelings in some way or form, and I've none of those. Do you use Snapchat? I never have. Would you rather go out for pancakes or steak? Yum, pancakes. Are you the clubbing type? No. Clubs don't appeal to me at all. Is your ex sexually attractive to you still? I haven't seen him in literally years. I wouldn't know. What is unattractive about them? The fact he apparently can't accept a mentally ill partner. Supposedly, he broke up with the girl he dated after me for the same reason he left me: her having depression. Like bro, good fucking luck finding a girl who doesn't struggle with something. Good luck finding someone who's going to be on Cloud 9 all the time. And also, he never communicated what he was feeling. Do you have a crap load of friends to hang out with? God no. The only person I hang out with is my boyfriend. Honeymoon, where? Alaska, if it's a good time of year to see the Northern Lights. If not, maybe the Bahamas to visit their black and pink beaches. The heat and humidity put me off, though... Lipstick over the actual natural lip line, your thoughts? It's capable of being attractive if done well and it's not too extreme, unless you're only looking from a distance. It can look especially great on drag queens imo. How would your wedding bouquet look like? Depends on the time of year, really. I kind of want to say black regardless, but I think that would blend too much with my dress (which I want to be black). Maybe if it was in the fall, which I want, it'd be orange and black to fit the Halloween vibe I'd love to have as a theme, perhaps a rich red, or light pink and white... idk. That's far in the future. What kind of game would you like to play that doesn’t exist yet? Bro, give me a meerkat simulator. There's the Lead the Meerkats Wii game that I ADORE, but I think the concept could be greatly expanded upon and made more realistic. What is one thing you would never ever eat? Balut came to mind very quickly. That looks like the grossest shit imaginable. I'll never forget seeing it for the first time on GMM and wondering how neither of them literally died where they sat lmao. There are a LOT of other foods, too. I'm incredibly picky. Which character in your favorite movie do you hate the most? Every single character from The Lion King is so lovable. Which non-existing (sci-fi and such) weapon and/or vehicle would you like to own/use? Bro, I want Thori'dal from WoW. A bombin' bow with unlimited, magical arrows? That shit's dope. Could save your life, and plus I love bows. How do you think the world will end? Humanity's end will almost certainly be rooted in human action. The end of the planet itself will probably be a black hole, gamma ray, or something else supremely powerful. If you could take a pill that would cure something in you that isn’t an illness - what would you be cured of? The fact I'm fat. :^) Take it all away pls. Has anyone besides your family seen you naked? If so, who? My ex. Do you remember anyone’s number by heart? Literally nobody's. Not even my own. :x Name something you will never try in your lifetime. Hunting. What’s the best place you have ever eaten at? The Cheesecake Factory, omlllll. Are you at home right now? Yep. What’s worse: Crocs or Uggs? Crocs are so fucking ugly to me. Do you knock before you open doors? Always. Does Fred from YouTube annoy you? Now THIS is a throwback. I liked him as a kid. He'd probably annoy the shit out of me now. Anything exciting taking place today? No. Who have you texted today? My mother and Becky, the receptionist at my psychiatrist's office. I rescheduled my appointment to tomorrow with my mom being sick (she wants to talk to him, and she's in no shape to today) and me not feeling well, either. Do you like grapefruits? No. Have you ever had the Reese’s PB candy bars? Omfg, the ones that are a bar of smaller squares is my FAVORITE candy in the world. Where’s your mother? In bed. She was directed to mostly quarantine in her room away from me. Are there any pets you’re wishing for? Always. :( Do you like oatmeal raisin cookies? I HATE raisins, so guess. Is your belly button pierced? No. Do you watch PewDiePie? Not anymore, no. His content changed a long time ago and doesn't interest me anymore. Do you like "Despacito?" Omg my sister showed it to me once and I hated it. Do you have any subscribers on YouTube? uhhh *checks* I have 71. More than I expected, ha ha. What’s the first word that comes to your mind if I say: "Boop!" Booping a snake on the nose. :'3 Have you ever played Five Nights at Freddy’s? Nah. I enjoy watching YouTubers play it, and I like the franchise, it's just not my kind of game to actually play. Can you twerk? Oh god, never tried, don't want to. Do you like dabbing? It looks stupid to me. It looks like you're smelling your armpit, dude. Can money buy you happiness? You are 110% full of shit if you think it can't to some degree. I would be so, so much happier if I wasn't poor. Have you heard of Blizzard Entertainment? Well, considering they're the company that owns World of Warcraft, obviously.

[wiener-blut]

i was tagged by my bb @babypaulchen ages ago and now the time has come to finally do this shit!! i told u i was gonna do it Brig!!

rules: answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people (i wont tag anyone bc im doubting i even know 20 ppl on here lmao)

— what was your last…

1. drink: peach flavoured ice tea 2. phone call: my mom bc i asked her if shes interested in some hyacinth bulbs for her garden since the ones that stood in my room decayed 3. text message: to my cousin, setting a time where we can call and chat 4. song you listened to: actual surprise - its not Rammstein *ooohs and aaahs fly through the crowd* it was “The Schuyler Sisters” from Hamilton 5. time you cried: yesterday bc i had the worst fucking headache ever and i was being a whiny bitch

— have you ever…

6. dated someone twice: nope 7. kissed someone and regretted it: uhh no? 8. been cheated on: no 9. lost someone special: yes 10. been depressed: yes 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: yes, multiple times and ive come to the conclusion that throwing up makes me feel better afterwards like im back to being able to actually perveice my environment again lmao

— fave colours

12. black 13. pastel pink 14. actually i kinda love all colours idk

— in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: yes! 16. fallen out of love: no 17. laughed until you cried: yes, multiple times, good 18. found out someone was talking about you: like uh shittalking? idk so i guess not 19. met someone who changed you: uhhh kinda? 20. found out who your friends are: um well i found out that my friends are good friends and that i love them and that i dont want to miss any of them 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: what? u can “kiss” someone on facebook? lmao i didnt take a look on facebook for literally years .......man i had a massive brainlag here. i thought u can now “kiss” ppl on facebook like u can “poke” ppl on facebook and it didnt come to my mind this could mean “irl” lmao bury me IF it means irl tho, then yes

— general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: pff idk man who the fuck still uses that shithole of a site anyways

23. do you have any pets: no but i had a super cute and fluffy bunny and i still miss him and think about him everyday also i plan on having half a farm and half a zoo in the future

24. do you want to change your name: not anymore; i used to hate my name bc its so outdated and the only answer i ever got on introducing myself was “hey my grandma has the same name isnt that funny” but then more and more people told me my name was pretty and unique and well now that im older (sounds like im 40 lmao) im even kinda fond of it

25. what did you do for your last birthday: umm uhh i guess i was studying for my exams lol but i remember my gf cooking an amazing dinner for me 💖

26. what time did you wake up today: uhhhhhh smth around 9am i think

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: actually sleeping for once bc that headache knocked me out completely

28. what is something you can’t wait for: fucking going to fucking Hamburg in fucking five fucking days

30. what are you listening to right now: the birds chirping outside

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: yes i had a classmate named Tom........he was a bit strange tho.......

32. something that’s getting on your nerves: i cant think of anything rn

33. most visited website: Tumblr and Youtube

34. hair colour: natural? blonde / current? dyed it pink two weeks ago

35. long or short hair: long ass hair and i mean, literally, they reach all the way down to my hips

36. do you have a crush on someone: ohhhahahaha so, so many, one - and maybe the king of em all - being Christoph Schneider (not obvious at all cough cough)

37. what do you like about yourself: uhhhhhhhhhhh.........;;;;; i guess... uh... *insert more unintelligent noises* maybe my legs?

38. want any piercings: no, except for maybe some on my ear

39. blood type: 0 positive, i think

40. nicknames: Lily

41. relationship status: super duper gay af with @haifisch-ohne-traenen

42. sign: officially capricorn (i like to say “the last capricorn” bc it sounds like “the last unicorn” and well my birthday is on the last day that still counts as capricorn), but honestly im more of an aquarius

43. pronouns: she/her

44. fave tv show: i recently watched Grimm and the story was okay but the cast was like super adorable and i fell in love with every single one of them

45. tattoos: none. YET. i have plans for so much i just am very bad at deciding

46. right or left handed: right handed 47: ever had surgery: okay, small story time. there are these childrens books by german illustrator and author “Janosch” in which a tiger and a bear are best friends and i used to love those books. so once, tiger got ill (his stripes slipped out of place) and he needed to see the doctor. and the exact line was “soothing small shot, blue dream, surgery over, noticed nothing, tiger healthy”. and i once was in the hospital bc there was something wrong my nose (i dont remember what it was tho) and so they anaesthetized me (and my fav stuffie which i brough with me for mental support) and afterwards i told everyone of my “blue dream” and everyone was like ????? wtf kid bc they didnt know what i was talking about and it was just some months ago when i finally found out that a narcosis isnt called a “blue dream” and that i just knew this bc of this books which i adored and tbh i was like MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE “BLUE DREAM” IS AN ADORABLE TERM FOR IT 48. piercings: none 49. sport: i did ballet for 15 years and i still love to dance around the house and the mother of my best friend once called me cute bc i cant stand still and always spin around or stretch my toes while lifting my leg or do some pliés and tbh i wasnt even aware of that

50. vacation: uh...i love? lmao

51. trainers: umm like my shoes? mostly wearing my black doc martens

— more general

52. eating: i love me some good salad with tomatoes, mozzarella and tuna but ngl a pizza margherita could beat that salad any time. or a nice ragout fin. or mac’n’cheese. i love food in general, okay

53. drinking: i’d kill for a tequila rn. but like non-alcoholic beverage - plain water, yes thank u

54. i’m about to watch: some movie with my gf which we havent decided on yet

55. waiting for: my gf to return home from work so i can smooch her pretty face

56. want: to cuddle honestly

57. get married: since its legal in germany for some months now... idk tbh, its not smth i debate about on a daily basis

58. career: um i have a vague plan for becoming a speech pathologist but yea... its very vague

— which is better

59. hugs or kisses: hugs

60. lips or eyes: gotta say eyes

61. shorter or taller: i dont care actually

62. older or younger: um sweats loudly...... older (fun fact i recently calculated the average age of my celebrity crushes....yes i was bored.... and it resulted in 50.... well.....)

63. nice arms or stomach: arms, fucc me up

64. hookup or relationships: relationships

65. troublemaker or hesitant: me? kinda both

— have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: no 67. drank hard liquor: yes 68. turned someone down: not really?

69. sex on first date: nope

70: broken someone’s heart: probably

71. had your heart broken: uh yea...kinda

72. been arrested: no

73. cried when someone died: yes, im a whiny bitch so i cry easily

74. fallen for a friend: yeah binch im dating that lovely ho right now... im gonna leave Brig’s answer here bc its perf and same here

— do you believe in

75. yourself: ugh

76. miracles: i want to

77. love at first sight: no

78. santa claus: i want to lol but no

79. angels: fuck yes

— misc

80. eye colour: blue-gray-green-ish mud 81. best friend’s name: Dana

82. favourite movie: so? much? i cant decide, really

83. favourite actor: Tom Hiddleston, i love this british dork, lemme tell u

84. favourite cartoon: phuh, idk i dont really watch cartoons

85. favourite teacher’s name: SWEATS LOUDLY AND AGGRESIVELY i had two massive teacher crushes back in my school days and that makes me a bit biased but im gonna say Herr Wolf was a great teacher bc he always said “hey, astronomy’s a minor subject, the test won’t be hard and i wont give u homework, u guys concentrate on math, german and english” and tbh we need more teachers like that

[mmakehappy]

2017

1. What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before? i’ll try to do this chronologically again: so at the beginning of january one of my best friends left to study abroad in rome which was sad and i missed her a lot. i saw rory scovel do stand up. i took an animation class which was fun for the first few weeks until i failed it lmao. actually my classes from jan to march did not go so well tbh but whatever i made it through. my sister came to visit me the weekend before st paddys day which was super fun and then we saw panic which was soooooooo fuckin rad i love them still wow! i went home for spring break and visited a local winery w my dad which was a lot of fun and then a week later uhhh me and @carrot-gallery became gfs!!! and my whole frickin life changed bc i love her so much wow!! but then a week after that i turned 22 and spent my birthday alone! which i tried to pretend didnt make me sad but by the end of the day i was very sad about it and thats when my sweet gf called me to sing happy birthday and i sobbed on my couch and ill never forget that!!! so okay then spring quarter classes started and i was a part of depaul’s visiting artist series which was super cool... i met a lot of new awesome people (both at depaul and the industry ppl that were our guests!) and made some great friends in that class! i was a house manager and camera op which was super fun. i went to a screening of my fave professor’s short film which was also rad. i saw a ghost story at the chicago critics film festival, which was amazing. i saw idiocracy in 35mm and then mike judge did a q&a! the very next day i was house manager for depaul’s student film festival at the music box! i saw chris gethard do a live recording of beautiful/anonymous and then also do some standup, that was awesome. i saw day wave live!!! amazing! i spent an entire dystopian day dealing with megabus. that was hell! i sat at an outdoor amphitheater and even tho i couldnt really see him i got to listen to seu jorge sing david bowie covers and life was magical for a few hours. my sisters came up to visit me and we saw aladdin the musical and had our minds blown, it was soooo fun! i went to the chicago pride parade for the very first time but i went by myself and at one point i was sitting on the curb just crying! not a high point but still memorable. i won a ticket to an advanced screening of the big sick where kumail & emily were there to do a q&a after the movie.... had a fuckin blast OBVIOUSLY and then saw the movie 9 other times in various theatres. i also made it into a commercial FOR the movie i just loved it that much lmao! i moved into a new (and my current) apartment! lorde released melodrama and fucking murdered me in my own home. otherwise i had a pretty uneventful but anxiety filled summer bc of financial aid stuff so that really sucked. i saw good time w taylor and the safdie brothers were there to do a q&a and they were such interesting guys i could listen to them talk for hours honestly. my mom and sisters came up to visit me and we took our mom to her very first cubs game which was sooo so much fun and they won that day too!! it was awesome and we had a great time :) watched the eclipse (or tried to anyway!!) fall quarter classes started and i honestly kicked ass at them, i got on the deans list (i almost typed honor roll lmao i mean its basically the same) i hung out with ari again which was cool!! we went to the aquarium! me and taylor saw beach fossils which was honestly the most buckwild concert ive ever been to i think, it was good shit. i got jobs at AMC (which i have since quit lmao) and starbucks and left my job at the paint place which was bittersweet! me and taylor saw mbmbam live!!! so fun!! and we watched trolls that night and goofed on it so hard!! i went home for thanksgiving and found out my big sister is gonna have a baby this year!! :D i saw mike birbiglia do stand up! which was soooo incredible of course (except i felt bad bc my mom was supposed to come w me but she couldnt go! so i brought taylor lol) UMMMMM MY DAM GIRLFRIEND CAME TO CHICAGO TO VISIT ME AND STAYED FOR A WHOLE DANG WEEK AND IT WAS THE BEST THING EVER SHE MAKES ME SO HAPPY WE HAD SO MUCH FUN AND I MISS HAVING HER RIGHT NEXT TO ME EVERY SINGLE GOSH DANG DAY <3 ;_____; and that was my year!!

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? last year i said id like to read at least one book each month and watch at least 100 movies - i did neither! im keeping the movie resolution though bc cmon 100 movies should be EASY for a film major wtf am i doing!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? no but it will happen in 2018! 

4. Did anyone close to you die? not a person but we had to put down my sweet doggo, flash :(

5. What countries did you visit? still none :/

6. What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017? More confidence that I actually deserve to be in college and that I can do this shit and I’m awesome <– that was my answer from last year and the year before but yeah. same. also money.

7. What dates from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? ummm march 25 when me and gf became gfs and also dec 17 when she came to visit :)

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? putting myself out there by doing VAS/Premiere, getting on the deans list for the first time since freshman year and then also getting a new job

9. What was your biggest failure? this summer i didnt do shit besides wallow and cry and it sucked!

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? nope

11. What was the best thing you bought? every movie ticket and the bras i bought for natalie ;-)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? natalie’s because she’s amazing and works so hard!!!! and she can always cheer me up and im so in love w her

13. Whose behavior made you appalled? mine bc i could never just get my shit together and do my homework when i was supposed to :) < thats from last year but lmfao same!

14. Where did most of your money go? RENT, movie/event tix, food, in that order

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? THE BIG SICK, the new season of sv, p much all of the events that i listed in the first question lol

16. What song will always remind you of 2017? umm honestly probably any song from melodrama

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer? I’m a. happier, b. probably thinner? or maybe the same idk, and c. definitely DEFINITELY poorer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? read and write and watch movies and write and read about movies

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Spending money and also being bitter about everything for no reason <– last year and the year before that AGAIN and also same!

20. How did you spend Christmas? working at AMC which i hated every second of :)

21. Did you fall in love in 2016? yes with my amazing girlfriend @carrot-gallery

22. What was your favorite TV program? silicon valley, AMERICAN VANDAL, the good place, great british bake off

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? nah just politicians who like. actively want me to die lol

24. What was the best book you read? bitch,

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? mitski like why the fuck did i sleep on her..... tbh thats about it bc i still listen to the same music i did 10 years ago

26. What did you want and get? I wanted a steadier/better paying job and i have it!

27. What did you want and not get? idk i wanted to be financially stable on my own and i still dont have that

28. What was your favorite film of this year? ugh i hate this question! ok in no order: THE BIG SICK, GOOD TIME, A GHOST STORY, GET OUT, THE FLORIDA PROJECT

29. What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying? uhhh having my sweet girlfriend by my side each and every day 

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017? sometimes chic, always sweaty

31. What kept you sane? Sydney, my best friend in the entire world. (This was my answer from last year and the year before that and the year before that AND THE YEAR BEFORE THAT but it still holds true) also everyone in the sv discord chat still AND natalie of course of course

32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? kumail nanjiani duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, taika waititi, and martin starr always and probably more but i legit cant think of anyone rn lol

33. What political issue stirred you the most? yikes all of it. all of the issues (this was from last year but same lmao)

34. Who did you miss? i miss my dogs and my family and my girlfriend 35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017. You can set goals for yourself and talk about it all you want but it’s nothing until you actually start working towards it and doing something about it. <– answer from last year and the year before that and the year before that, still true!! imma keep that. also idk just like, there are good days and super bad days and ive survived all of them so its just a reminder to myself that ill be okay.

36. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. These days will all seem better in time Waiting on that hindsight

[corgisocks]

92 truths tag!

Rules: once you’ve been tagged write 92 Truths about yourself. At the end tag 25 people to try it.

Tagged by @phanwithdogs (thank you lol i was so bored)

LAST:

[1]Drink: Tap water (blegh)

[2]Phone call: My mom (i’d been trying to help her find her phone)

[3]Text message: ‘I am innocent in comparison to them’ (them being my sister’s friends who are a lot younger than me lol)

[4]Song listened to: A-Punk by Vampire Weekend

[5]Time you cried: At therapy. Btw, keep in mind that I only cry when I get frustrated and/or feel like I’m being misunderstood. Basically, it was not a good session lol

HAVE YOU EVER:

[6]Dated someone twice: I have never even dated someone ONCE lol

[7]Been cheated on: If I have been, then that’d be weird and also make no sense

[8]Kissed someone and regretted it: What is “kissed”?

[9]Lost someone special: I’ve lost a lot of people as friends and had thought they’d been special to me until I made actual friends and learned how friendship was supposed to feel. Now I’m almost glad they’d left me (i am such a jerk ugh)

[10]Been depressed: …This is a rhetorical question

[11]Gotten drunk and thrown up: Nope

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS;

[12] the absence of colour (black)

[13] this very specific shade of blue which I associate with my friend and it feels like a good hug and it calms me down and makes me smile a little when i see it

14] vermilion; it's my colour, but I don't associate it with myself at all. Maybe it represents how I could have turned out or something. Idrk (i have synesthesia btw. in like several different forms)

IN THE LAST YEAR, HAVE YOU;

[15] made new friends: Acquaintances. And tumblr friends

[16] fallen in love: Unfortunately. I am supposed to be getting over it, but it’s only gotten worse since then. Oops

[17] laughed until you cried: Lots of times

[18] found out someone was talking about you: Once again, lots of times

[19] met someone who’s changed you: IDK

[20] found out who your true friends are: I think I may have.

[21] kissed someone on your Facebook list: Why would I kiss a list that sounds disgusting

[22] how many Facebook friends do you know in real life: What is a face book

[23] do you have any pets: Yes (they’re called Cosmo and George and they are actually the cutest)

[24] do you want to change your name: IDK how to answer this question

[25] what did you do for your last birthday: 1. Went to central park alone, 2. Went to my friend’s birthday thing (her birthday is the day before mine), 3. Went to this really cool vegan Korean restaurant for dinner with my dad and one of my sisters, 4. Saw Wonder Woman with them (all of us somehow agreed that the romantic plot and ending were disappointing), 5. Went to a really good Korean dessert place because why the heck not, 6. Went to the Empire State Building and pretended to be tourists, 7. Went home and played Just Dance for three hours. The end lol

[26] what time did you wake up: 5:30 am (which is when I used to go to bed :/)

[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: Texting my friend :))

[28] name something you cannot wait for: Visiting said friend tomorrow; I love him sm :,)

[29] when was the last time you saw your mother: uhhh today

[30] what is one thing you would change about your life: I regret not having tried to get help for my mental problems earlier and letting tumblr make me feel afraid to share my opinions on basically anything

[31] what are you listening to right now: The sound of my sister chewing on her fingernail :(

[32] have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yes; he was my lab partner in biology

[33] Something that is getting on your nerves: Politics. And not in the way one who didn’t know me would think they are (i swear if you guys knew me you’d hate me)

[34] Most visited website: my school’s gradebook

[35] funniest memory: Can’t think of one that isn’t too long

[36] memory from school: I once overheard my English teacher saying 'I have nothing to grade so I’m just gonna Netflix and chill all weekend’

[37] memories you want to make: The person before me said 'just random nights with good friends’ and honestly I related to that too much to be able to come up with a different answer

[38] natural hair color: very dark brown

[39] long or short hair: short

[40] do you have a crush on someone: I wouldn’t call it a 'crush’, but I do have feelings for someone. Unfortunately.

[41] what do you like about yourself: can’t think of anything except for the fact that I have extremely muscular legs

[42] piercings: Never.

[43] blood type: Idk; we just never found out, I guess

[44] nickname: Luca

[45] relationship status: Single. Forever. And idec.

[46] zodiac sign: Gemini

[47] pronouns: he/him or they/them, but at the same time, I really don’t care

[48]favourite tv show: I normally hate watching TV and can never watch it anyway, so I’ll use this to say that I’d really like to continue watching b99 and Bojack Horseman.

[49] tattoos: Once again, never

[50] left or right handed: both :))

FIRSTS;

[51] Surgery: nope

[52] Piercing: nope

[53] Best Friend: I met him two years ago and he is actually the best I love him so much

[54] Sport: Football, I guess. 👀 Otherwise, tennis

[55] Vacation: Idk I just generally need a vacation from lige

[56] Pair of trainers: I have no idea lol

[57] Favourite snack: Other people’s negativity (jk)

[58] Drink you hate: Whole milk

[59] I’m about to: fall asleep lol I’m dozing off as I’m typing this

[60] I’m listening to: the sounds of my sister’s friends screaming

[61] Waiting for: life to stop being so suckish lol

[62] Wanting: sleep

[63] Get married: idc. It’ll probably never happen anyway

[64] Career: are y'all trying to make me have an existential crisis?!

YOUR TYPE; [65] hugs or kisses: how the heck would I know

[66] lips or eyes: idc

[67] Shorter or Taller: idc

[68] Older or Younger: idc

[69] Romantic or Spontaneous: what does this mean

[70] Nice arms or nice stomach: irdc

[71] Sensitive or Loud: idk and idc

[72] Hook-up or relationship: relationship. I’m demi and thus will likely never 'hook up’ lol

[73] Trouble maker or hesitant: Somehow both (more so the latter) [74] Kissed a Stranger: Again. What is a 'kissed’

[75] Drank hard liquor: nope, and I likely never will

[76] Lost glasses/contacts: don’t have those

[77] Turned someone down: there’s been no one TO turn down

[78] Had sex on first date: what is a date

[79] Broken someone’s heart: Probably not

[80] Had your heart broken: Idk what 'heartbroken’ is even supposed go mean so idk

[81] Been arrested: nope

[82] Cried when someone died: yes

[83] Fallen for a friend: Unfortunately. :(

DO YOU BELIEVE IN;

[84] Yourself: I wish I could

[85] Miracles: idk

[86] Love at first sight: idk

[87] Santa Claus: uhhh YES

[88] Kiss on first date: idk

[89] Angels: still working that out

[90] Current best friends name: Zeke 👀

[91] eye color: gray/green

[92] fav movie: irdk. WALL-E, I guess

25 tags: adding later i’m too tired lol

[springjeon]

tagged by the darling @hexmen for the selfie + bias tag 💕 i think jk and i would get along because we wear a lot of black and don’t have a lot of selfies

@thirdfromtheleft if you’re not crazy busy i’d love to see your cute face next!

i’ll do the questions under a read more. i’m dating myself here but it reminds me of doing myspace surveys :O

“Answer these statements” game below: Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people (PSSSSH NAH MAN)

THE LAST:

1. Drink: water!

2. Phone call: a korean teacher from one of my schools

3. Text message: a different korean teacher from school!

4. Song you listened to: the cover of really, really by dreamcatcher

5. Time you cried: a few days ago while reading something emotional (it was a yoonseok fic, sue me! http://archiveofourown.org/works/11711706 you should read it though it’s amazing)

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: nope

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: as kimmy schmidt said, “i’ve made some kissing mistakes”

8. Been cheated on: no

9. Lost someone special: no

10. Been depressed: yes

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: yeah but the real trick is throwing up because you’re so hungover

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. blue

13. red

14. green

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yes

16. Fallen out of love: nope

17. Laughed until you cried: yes

18. Found out someone was talking about you: yeah i’m a teacher in a foreign country. if the students aren’t talking about me it’s the other teachers

19. Met someone who changed you: everything since coming to korea is a huge change

20. Found out who your friends are: i suppose? i don’t really hang out with people i have bad vibes about in the first place

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: yes 

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all i think

23. Do you have any pets: they all live with my mom so not really. i have a plant that is surviving against all odds

24. Do you want to change your name: no

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: went to japan with my friend :)

26. What time did you wake up: 7:15!!! first day back after vacation :(

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: talking to my friend from home

28. Name something you can’t wait for: muster, wings in seoul

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: February when I was home :(

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i was fluent in korean! to help with my general life and reading bangtan tweets

31. A song you love right now: sign of the times by harry styles

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: oof, i think? 

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: my boss hasn’t asked me about renewing my contract yet and she’s more than a month late

34. Most visited website: twitter/tumblr

RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME

35. Mole/s: one on my chest that lets me know when a shirt is too low for school

36. Mark/s: scar on my lip from a dog bite, scar through my eyebrow from softball 

37. Childhood dream: being a vet

38. Hair color: brown

39. Long or short hair: i always prefer my long hair even when it’s a pain

40. Do you have a crush on someone: i guessss

41. What do you like about yourself: i’m funny dammit

42. Piercings: one helix piercing. i really want two but i don’t think i have the ear real estate tbh. i’d be fine with the one i have now and then double lobes on both ears.

43. Blood type: O negative. universal donor!

44. Nickname: ames, blamy

45. Relationship status: too busy

46. Zodiac: leo

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favorite TV show: i just watched all of American Vandal in one sitting oh my god i love that show

49. Tattoos: none

50. Right or left hand: rightie

51. Surgery: does wisdom teeth count? that was gnarly

52. Hair dyed in different colors: i was blonde for a few years in high school/college

53. Sport: baseball! softball!

54. There’s no question here so fun fact: i didn’t learn to ride a bike until i was in high school

55. Vacation: like favorite vacation? japan was such a huge deal for me. i like my solo trips though too. i just got back from busan and boy are my arms tired and being alone was so nice.

56. Pair of trainers: i’m a middle schooler so i wear converse almost every day

57. Eating: sometimes i just want to sit down with a big bowl of noodles and chopsticks you know. also i get tteokbokki like once a week

58. Drinking: korea has gotten me really into coffee. so has aging.

59. I’m about to: .....take a shower and watch 90 day fiance....

60. No question here either so another fun fact: i once met idina menzel at a tennis tournament and she put our cheeks together when we took a picture. her skin was so soft

61. Waiting for: halloween in itaewon!

62. Want: to high five all of bts, a lot of money, a good cheeseburger

63. Get married: sure

64. Career: idiot about town 

WHICH IS BETTER

65. Hugs or kisses: hugs

66. Lips or eyes: eyes

67. Shorter or taller: most people are taller than me so 

68. Older or younger: either i guess

69. No question here: thanks man

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: arms

71. Sensitive or loud: time and a place for both right

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant 

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: yes 

75. Drank hard liquour: yes

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: nope

77. Turned someone down: yes 

78. Sex on the first date: hey man, let’s just - hey, man ok just - hey look

79. Broken someone’s heart: uh i don’t know

80. Had your heart broken: sure

81. Been arrested: no ma’am

82. Cried when someone died: yes

83. Fallen for a friend: yes sir

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: in my physical form? sure. in my ability to guide that physical form through life? uhhh

85. Miracles: no

86. Love at first sight: nah

87. Santa Claus: duh, he’s at the mall

88. Kiss on the first date: yeah if you’re into it why not

89. Angels: i believe jung hoseok is an angel. otherwise no.

OTHER:

90. Current best friend’s name: jess!

91. Eyecolor: brown

92. Favorite movie: uh i don’t know, i watch a lot of documentaries lately. the last movie i saw was baby driver which was real cool before it got real messy

[sugarcomatosed]

tag memeeee

@fangmich gave me a tag and it’s been forever since i’ve done one of these so here we goooo

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people.

LAST:

1. Drink: water 2. Phone call: i was on the phone with @doodlemoogle‘s mom on speaker phone while they talked 3. Text message: to @akingofredlions about sailor moon and swords. 4. Song you listened to: Bloody tears bc @hymdall is sending me castlevania songs 5. Time you cried: aaaa....i think it was last Thursday. I’m an emotional person and life is tough.

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: Nope. 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: not so far 8. Been cheated on: Not that I’m aware of :P  9. Lost someone special: That’s just part of life, right? 10. Been depressed: Uh yes. Very recently and in the past.  11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: I don’t like alcohol’s taste, so no. 

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: Pastel Pink, Teal, and a light purple. 

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Yes! 16. Fallen out of love: Nope. 17. Laughed until you cried:  Think so? 18. Found out someone was talking about you: ...in a good way? yes? no one in a bad way. 19. Met someone who changed you: Many wonderful people who bettered me. 20. Found out who your friends are:  i learned that i have many kind supportive friends. 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: yes, two of them under different contexts. 

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: All of them, even @quinntheshiki bc we’ve met in person.  23. Do you have any pets: ...not techincally because I just moved out of my mom’s and this new place doesn’t allow pets. At her house, two dogs and a cat. 24. Do you want to change your name: Nope, not even if i get married. I refuse.  25. What did you do for your last Birthday: I got sushi with my dad, his gf, my roommate and made myself a birthday amv 26. What time did you wake up: depends on my work shift but im up by 9 normally. 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: falling asleep.  28. Name something you can’t wait for: to get to see two people who are very dear to me! I get to see them basically back to back and one is coming from very far and being very brave.  29. When was the last time you saw your mom: ....two Sundays ago now when i moved out.   30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: 31. What are you listening right now: The white noise of fans in the apartment. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Ye, he’s a photographer and a little older than me.  33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Feeling aimless right now. 34. Most visited website: Tumblr or youtube tbh. Twitter is getting up there.

RANDOM INFO:

35. Mole/s: i have tiny beauty spots like on my arms.  36. Mark/s: i have a birth mark on my left wrist.  37. Childhood dream: ..i wanted to ride elephants in the circus.  38. Hair color: dark brown 39. Long or short hair: my hair’s kind of long? 41. What do you like about yourself: i’m really multitalented and well rounded honestly.  42. Piercings: ears and im trying to get new earrings 43. Blood type: O- 44. Nickname: I use Rita at work, Sugar is one, and sometimes it’s Mina.  45. Relationship status: Taken! For just over two months now.  46. Zodiac: Libra 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV Show: ....right now I’m just watching My Hero Academia so. and that is RLLY GOOD.  49. Tattoos: None, i joke about getting an ouroboros.  50. Right or left hand: Right 51. Surgery: I’ve had my bottom wisdom teeth removed and my tonsils.  52. Hair dyed in different color: i considered getting purple/pink through it at one point.  53. Sport:  I used to figure skate and i was actually pretty good I did fencing last fall too. 55. Vacation: I was supposed to go to Atlanta this week but I did not because I moved and that costs money.  56. Pair of trainers: I need new sneakers tbh.

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: I had a milkshake and pizza bites i left at the resturant on accident earlier.  58. Drinking: Gatorade right now so I get electrolytes and stay okay but watter at the moment.  59. I’m about to:  go help a family friend move some stuff or watch a video, what happens first idk.  61. Waiting for: my dad to get home 62. Want: to do fun things with all my friends!! 63. Get married: I’d like to one day. I have some personal baggage do to my parents thought that makes me...get anxious about this kind of thing. 64. Career: I’m planning on getting my PhD and teaching Sociology!

WHICH IS BETTER:

65. Hugs or kisses: Both are nice but I like snuggling.  66. Lips or eyes: Eyes 67. Shorter or taller: taller!  68. Older or younger: doesn’t matter?  70. Nice arms or nice stomach: ....arms. @woodland-knight is going to see this and laugh.  71. Sensitive or loud: this is dumb 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: this is  also dumb

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger:  Nope.  75. Drank hard liquor: Not for me! 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: ...yes. it took me forever to find them.  77. Turned someone down: Yes, repeatedly so they’d get the hint.  78. Sex on the first date: no no no no no no. noooo.  79. Broken someone’s heart: once.  80. Had your heart broken: it’s actually a very bitter sweet story but yeah. 

81. Been arrested: Nope. 

82. Cried when someone died: uh...yeah? That’s pretty normal.  83. Fallen for a friend: yeaaaaaaah. It’s a dumb cute story and we’re dating. I’ve also fallen for someone then become their friend. 

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: Usually! It’s one of my few redeeming things is that I have a decent amount of self confidence. I just chew myself out for tiny mistakes.  85. Miracles: I like to try to. 86. Love at first sight: Nah. You can be attracted though.  87. Santa Claus: the idea of santa is cute but also terrifying  88. Kiss on the first date: depends? 

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: i have many best friends and they’re all beautiful 91. Eye color: brown like almost black i’ve been told.  92. Favorite movie: uhhhh. i have no idea right now.

if you got tagged in this already idc if you do it you are relevant people in my life who can do it if they want, but i’d like to hear from these people specifically because I want to know more about theeem (or get a life update). Most of these are loyal followers I notice and then some mutuals.  

@denizenhardwick @shakacon @misora-reiki @flamingopuuuunch @touyea @teamlobster @the-cyanide-exploder @sakialumei @songbirdo and uhhh @blank-chalkboard and i cant spell the last url and cant find them in my notifications even though i know we’ve interacted recently so...do it if you want idc. 

[tsurumitokushiro]

Get to Know Me Tag

RULES: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

I was tagged by @droid-to-the-world, thank you so much my dude!!! I love these things

I’m gonna put it under a cut bc it’s long

LAST:

1. Drink: a strawberry kiwi Capri Sun

2. Phone Call: my grandma

3. Text message: my dad

4. Song you listened to: Reunion of Friends by John Williams

5. Time you cried: I cry like every day so not a clue

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: djhgdjghd I’m a single pringle I’ve never dated before

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: nope

8. Been cheated on: nope

9. Lost someone special: yes

10: Been depressed: of course

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: I'm under 21 and am kinda responsible so no

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14. Sapphire blue, mint green, mango yellow

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yup!

16. Fallen out of love: sort of?

17. Laughed until you cried: yessss

18. Found out someone was talking about you: yes

19. Found out who your friends are: yeah?

20. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: I don’t have Facebook

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: don’t have Facebook

23. Do you have any pets: I have a dog named Lucy and a cat named Buffy

24. Do you want to change your name: yes, the name I have on this blog is clearly not the one my parents gave me

25. What did you do for your last birthday: I had a sleepover with my closest friends

26. What time do you wake up: depends

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: attempting to fall asleep

28. Name something you can’t wait for: the day that I get credit for everything I do for people

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Like fifteen minutes ago

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I wish that I hadn’t taken part in the event that lead to an eventual falling out with a formerly close friend, because I didn’t really want to go to it anyway and I regret not staying home

31. What are you listening to right now: Angel On the Wing from the Wonder Woman soundtrack

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yes, multiple Toms over the course of my life

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: uhhh a lot of things?? Politics, shampoo, the fact that Kathleen Kennedy works for Lucasfilm

34. Most visited website: Tumblr

35. Moles: one on my left cheek, 7 on my right arm, 3 on my left arm, 2 on my right leg, 1 on my left leg

36. Marks: I have a giant scar on my right forearm that looks like a mole, but its’ actually a mosquito bite that I picked at for a year. I also have four scars further up on the same arm in a kite formation and I still don’t know what they’re from (I CAN TAKE A PICTURE TO PROVE IT, IT’S REALLY WEIRD). I also have bruises/scars from self-harm on the same arm as well. My face is absolutely covered in acne scars and pimples, as well as my chest and back. I used to have a really big, bright red/pink birthmark on my upper lip but it’s since faded. I have a scar from falling in gravel and tearing my knee open at age 4, too.

37. Childhood dream: Same as it still is. I want to be a writer.

38. Hair color: Brown, but I used to be blonde when I was really little

39. Long hair or short: Mine is short

40. Do you have a crush on someone: Sofia Boutella, Gina Torres, Eliza Dushku, Dichen Lachman, Daisy Ridley, Zoe Saldana, Gal Gadot, Lupita N’yongo, so on and so forth (they’re all celebrities, I haven’t crushed on somebody I know personally in a long time)

41. What do you like about myself: Physically? My shoulders. Personality-wise? Uhhhhhhhhhh my cheerfulness and leadership abilities

42. Piercings: Well. Long story. Let’s just say not anymore.

43. Blood type: not a clue

44. Nicknames: Spocky, Scully, Mulder, A5, Alan, Tina, Rosie (nobody uses this one anymore, Rose is my middle name so that’s what I was called as a small child), Leonard (I MISHEARD MY FRIEND), Ernie, Wash, Jim is short for James so I suppose that counts

45. Relationship status: Single Pringle

46. Zodiac: Aries/Sheep

47. Pronouns: They/them

48. Favorite TV Show: Doctor Who

49. Right or left hand: Right

50. Surgery: I had surgery last year to remove embedded teeth, and I will need surgery within the next few years for wisdom teeth. Beyond that, not sure if there’s any in my future or not.

51: Hair dyed a different color: I once got a green streak and I’m thinking about being a blonde again

52. Sport: BASEBALL

53. Vacation: One of my two dream vacations may be achieved this summer! I might be going to Riverside, Iowa, and then I want to go to San Diego Comic Con

54. Pair of trainers: all of my shoes except two are trainers... I’ve got blue high-top Nikes, and then 4 pairs of Converse (the other two pairs are some fancy preppy shoes and then sandals)

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: Nothing at the moment but I had ham like an hour ago

58. Drinking: Nothing since last night

60. Want: to feel more like it’s summer, and also my new frames to come

61. Get married: I really don’t know

62. Career: I want to write and maybe act. I’m also going to flight school after I get my drivers’ license.

63. Hugs or kisses: HUGS. I love hugs.

64. Lips or eyes: Eyes

65. Shorter or taller: I’m literally 5′1″

66. Older or younger: in preference, idk

67. Nice arms or nice stomach: Both, but more importantly, nice personality

68. Sensitive or loud: sensitive, I’m loud enough as it is

69. Hook up or relationship: Relationship

70. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: no

75. Drank hard liquor: NO

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: thank goodness no

77. Turned someone down: yes

78. Sex on the first date: N O

79. Broken someone’s heart: I don’t know

80. Had your heart broken: no

81. Been arrested: no

82. Cried when someone died: yeah

83. Fallen for a friend: unfortunately

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: Maybe?? Idk

85. Miracles: not really

86. Love at first sight: not really

87. Santa Claus: nope

88. Kiss on the first date: no, not really

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: Lila

91. Eye color: hazel

92. Favorite movie: DO NOT make me choose

I’m s’posed to tag 20 people but I’m lazy so

@lieutenant-sapphic

@mountaindyke

@wesleyknope

@chameleon-kirk

@friendraichu

@reaverattack

@sexual-kakuzu

@stevtrevr

@kira-nerys

and whoever else wants to do it! You don’t have to do it if you don’t want

[brufterfly]

Tagged by @britishteeth

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag people

THE LAST:

1. Drink: technically the last thing i drank was the milk from my cereal bowl

2. Phone call: my mom

3. Text message: roommates group chat

4. Song you listened to: Looking Glass by the Birthday Massacre

5. Time you cried: I think it was the night i came home from college

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: yikes, no

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: eh

8. Been cheated on: no

9. Lost someone special: my cat

10. Been depressed: lmao is that really a question

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: never

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14. hot pink, black, and that really nice shade of grey that i can never get right when im trying to draw

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: of course

16. Fallen out of love: i wish

17. Laughed until you cried: i think so

18. Found out someone was talking about you: probably?

19. Met someone who changed you: yeah

20. Found out who your friends are: of course

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: yeah but one of them was before he was on my facebook list

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: fuck idk

23. Do you have any pets: 2 dogs, 2 ducks, and 2 many chickens

24. Do you want to change your name: i just want to spellcheck it

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: i went swimming and had like a brownie cake thing

26. What time did you wake up: 9:00 but only because i missed my first alarm

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: tryna sleep

28. Name something you can’t wait for: the last day of my summer vacation

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: fuckin like two hours ago

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: too many things

31. What are you listening to right now: Looking Glass by the Birthday Massacre

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i…. dont think so

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: love

34. Most visited website: probably tumblr

35. Mole/s: uhhhh idk

36. Mark/s: i have a scar on my left temple but most of it is hidden by my hairline also a couple stretch marks

37. Childhood dream: i remember i wanted to be an astronaut but then i settled on a creative writer ive since stopped writing creatively

38. Hair color: black with reddish tips

39. Long or short hair: i cant decide

40. Do you have a crush on someone: more than a crush

41. What do you like about yourself?: fuck man i i dunno shit

42. Piercings: i have a mole on my ear that looks like a piercing?

43. Blood type: shit idk, is this something i should know

44. Nickname: a friend of mine in high school called me b-ri, ive picked up one or two in college, and theres a ton of them based on my various online usernames

45. Relationship status: kill me

46. Zodiac: ♈

47. Pronouns: he/him, they/them

48. Favorite TV Show(s): Rick and Morty, Star vs the Forces of Evil, Steven Universe, Gravity Falls, How I Met Your Mother

50. Right or left hand: right

51. Surgery: i think i had a root canal once, does that count is that a surgery

52. Hair dyed in different color: hot pink but its since faded to a blondish orangish color

53. Sport: ew

55. Vacation: San Francisco, planned one to Michigan but it ended up not happening

56. Pair of trainers: i have like, three, two of them were 5$ each

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: i ate some reese’s puffs earlier

58. Drinking: soda mostly

59. I’m about to: sleep restlessly

61. Waiting for: the sweet release of death

62. Want: his lips on mine

63. Get married: ideally

64. Career: i just want to be financially stable

WHICH IS BETTER

65. Hugs or kisses: fuck man theyre both so good, but i guess it depends on who theyre coming from

66. Lips or eyes: again, theyre both so good, but i do tend to focus on lips more,,

67. Shorter or taller: taller

68. Older or younger: older

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: bOTH SO GOOD

71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive

72. Hook up or relationship: hookup :U

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: uhhh

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: lmao i only kiss strangers

75. Drank hard liquor: yeah

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: yeah and it sucks because i cant find them without my glasses

77. Turned someone down: not as many times as i should have

78. Sex on the first date: no

79. Broken someone’s heart: yeah

80. Had your heart broken: by my family, never had it broken in any romantic sense though

81. Been arrested: no but i did ride in the back of a cop car once

82. Cried when someone died: no…

83. Fallen for a friend: lmao is that really a question

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: lmao no

85. Miracles: eh

86. Love at first sight: no

87. Santa Claus: no

88. Kiss on the first date: absolutely

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: in no particular order; Nick, Zara, Meagan, Monica, Jocelyne

91. Eye color: black

92. Favorite movie: anything Disney honestly

i tag uhhh whoever wants to do it im too tired to actually go and list off people

[weekend-conspiracy-theorist]

@wristwatch6minslow it's been forever since I did one of these so I'm taking your blanket invitation as gospel likewise, whoever feels like it, take your best shot! the last 1. drink: diet mountain dew 2. phone call: uhhh I think my mom, trying to ask her if she wanted me to stop and buy drinks at the qt on my way to meet her for lunch 3. text message: the last one I got was from my sister but the last one I sent was to a friend 4. song you listened to: some random dad rock song on the radio (and it really was random because I listen to dad rock and normally know what the songs are) 5. time you cried: mmm maybe three or four weeks ago, things have been pretty placid recently 6. dated someone twice: never dated 7. kissed someone and regretted it: never kissed anybody lmao 8. been cheated on: nah 9. lost someone special: my cousin mary, though that's not what you're asking 10. been depressed: ahah. not as far as I know, and I'm scared to ask 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: nah 3 favorite colors 12, 13, 14: blue, pink, and orange, in no particular order in the last year have you 15. made new friends: surprisingly! 16. fallen out of love: nah 17. laughed until you cried: yeah that time captain kirk like bounced himself off a wall to elbow slam a dude to the ground 18. found out someone was talking about you: MY ROOMMATES WERE SHIT Y'ALL 19. met someone who changed you: not at like, a fundamental level 20. found out who your friends are: it's simultaneously an old revelation and not one that's been confirmed in reality, but I know I'll lose a handful of childhoods friends #officially as soon as I come out 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: ^-- never kissed anyone, see above general 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them EXCEPT for my cousin jodi who lives in texas. she's the outspoken family liberal. I respect her from afar. 23. do you have any pets: The Nugget 24. do you want to change your name: hmmmmmmMMMMM no I don't think so 25. what did you do for your last birthday: turned in a six page philosophy paper, lmao 26. what time did you wake up: 7 (cst, so really 8 by circadian rhythm since I've been on est for a few months) 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Asleep 28. name something you can’t wait for: the captain marvel movie 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: she’s in the seat in front of me rn 31. what are you listening to right now: road noise because my dad took over driving and APPARENTLY has something against the radio, the bastard 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: not... as far as I know, tbh 33. something that is getting on your nerves: the lack of radio playing in this car 34. most visited website: tumblr, netflix 35. hair colour: you know when tiffany aching says she has boring non-protagonist mouse brown hair? she is me and I am her 36. long or short hair: SHORT 37. do you have a crush on someone: ??? I guess so??? 38. what do you like about yourself: this one time I made a really good deus ex machina joke in a fanfic where black canary and wonder woman went on a date 39. piercings: ears BUT I haven't worn earrings in like three years lmao 40. blood type: my mom and I were JUST talking about this, so I know it's the same as her and I think it might be AB+ but tbh ~I already forgot~ 41. nickname: holmes 42. relationship status: single 43. zodiac: taurus 44. pronouns: they/them 45. favourite tv show: I have a lot of eternal classics, but right now star trek owns my soul 46. tattoos: none, but I have plans for a few if I ever scrape the money together 47. right or left handed: right 48. surgery: never 49. piercing: ^-- see above 50. sport: I played soccer for about six years, but I never play any more because a) I'm out of high school and it's way more effort to find somewhere to play and b) I played my entire last season on a sprained ankle and it's still kinda weak two years later so every time I hop in on a pick up game I end up spraining it again 51. vacation: I have never been on a plane, but if it's on the east coast of the us I've probably been there, unless it's in rhode island because SOMEHOW I have never even driven through that state 52. pair of trainers: my mom bought me wonder woman converse but I don't get them till christmas it's so frustrating MORE GENERAL 53. eating: not as of this second? 54. drinking: diet mountain dew 55. i’m about to: get back home (aka my parents' house) after moving my college stuff from last year's house to next year's trailer 56. waiting for: the chance to read the issue of bitch planet I picked up while in tuscaloosa 57. want: to not have anxiety about the future (stealin' watson's answer bc she knocked it out of the goddamn park) 58. get married: like eVENtually if I find the right person 59. career: civil engineering WHICH IS BETTER 60. hugs or kisses: hugs 61. lips or eyes: eyes 62. shorter or taller: I wanna either be the tol girlfriend or have a tol girlfriend (I am a decently average height so. these are achievable dreams.) 63. older or younger: so last year a guy asked me out and I went "yeah sure whatever buy me some dinner and then I'll let you down easy" UNTIL I REALIZED HE WAS /27/!!! I WAS 19!!!!!!! THE FUCK DUDE 64. nice arms or nice stomach: a r m s 65. hook up or relationship: relationship 66. troublemaker or hesitant: these aren't? necessarily opposites? HAVE YOU EVER 67. kissed a stranger: nah 68. drank hard liquor: bourbon counts right? and vodka? actually the only liquor I've ever drank was hard liquor, also bourbon is fucking disgusting 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: does "set aside an obsolete pair of glasses in favor of my new prescription and then never see them again" count 70. turned someone down: ^-- con't from 63: so when I realized adam was 8 years older than me I backed out! he was cool about it, and he did think I was 20 not 19, but that's still weird. idk. also, more amusing: when I was like 9 a guy on my bus asked me to a dance, so I said no and then never sat next to him again 71. sex on the first date: not my speed 72. broken someone’s heart: not as far as I know 73. had your heart broken: nope 74. been arrested: lmao. I have gotten a ticket though 75. cried when someone died: yeah 76. fallen for a friend: never fallen in general DO YOU BELIEVE IN 77. yourself: lmao 78. miracles: not really 79. love at first sight: no 80. santa claus: is this when I facetiously go "I'm jewish!" (my mom is christian so I did still have a santa claus believing stage of my life, but it has long since ended) 81. kiss on the first date: hm yeah 82. angels: nah OTHER 83. current best friend’s name: I have a couple but alex is the one I'm probably talking about if I ever say "my best friend" 84. eye colour: brown brown brown 85. favourite movie: this question doesn't have an answer but I normally default to die hard OR if I'm being persnickety, sharktopus

[mistyhollowpro]

I was tagged by @goldendaydna​. You tricky person, you. e-e

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people. <- Imma break that last one.

THE LAST: 1. Drink: Water 2. Phone call: Insurance company.  3. Text message: Kung Fu Panda Gif 4. Song you listened to: White Noise by Femm. 5. Time you cried: Probably within the last couple of weeks.

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: not even once <- You and I both, Day. You and I both. 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: I have kissed someone... My Levi body pillow. No regrets. 8. Been cheated on: Yep. This kid back in second grade cheated using my test. The asshat. e-e 9. Lost someone special: Of course. If anyone answered no to this, then what the hell is your secret?  10. Been depressed: Yep. 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: I’ve been giggly before, but never inebriated to the point of not being able to drive. I’m still fully cognizant, and trust me when I say that I am so over protective of that shit. I won’t ever be the reason someone else or their family is harmed or killed. Ask @marichansensei​. She would tell you.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: Blues, greens, and most recently, lilac. Just painted my whole room in that color. 

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Yes 16. Fallen out of love: Yes... I unfortunately had to break it off with Eren of Attack on Titan. *Sniffles* You will always be apart of me. 17. Laughed until you cried: Of course. Don’t let me read funny auto corrects from iphones. I sound like I’m having an asthma attack mixed with crying.  18. Found out someone was talking about you: Yep. I work in a salon as an assistant leader. When someone isn’t doing their job right and I get on them about it, you know they’re bitching in the back. 19. Met someone who changed you: Uhh, not changed me per say. Changed a view point maybe, but not changed me. 20. Found out who your friends are: Yes 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Lance McClain isn’t on my FB friends list, so no.

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Just about all of them. 23. Do you have any pets: Four cats and a dog.  24. Do you want to change your name: My middle name, sure. Only because of where it comes from. Otherwise, no. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: ...... Holy shit, what did I do? o-o I don’t remember. 26. What time did you wake up: 6:30 a.m. -_- 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Reading fan fiction which is bad because I have dark circles, and I can’t have that. <- I have to steal Day’s answer here, friend. I cannot deny what I’ve done. 28. Name something you can’t wait for: VOLTRON SEASON 3 AND MIRACULOUS LADYBUG SEASON 2!!! Also, world peace.  29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Five seconds ago when she walked out of the room. 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: This is a long winded, open ended question, but a short answer would be nothing. While I have many complaints and may not always be happy, I need to personally accept what I’ve been given and make the most of it. 31. What are you listening right now: The voice in my head.  32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yes 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: People at work who don’t listen to me, because they’re older, but still terribly immature and won’t do their job. If you’re 53 years old, you should not have a 22 year old telling you how to do the job right!!! 34. Most visited Website: Youtube or Netflix. I never go on cable anymore.

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: One on my toe. 36. Mark/s: I’ve got a scar under my lip, on my foot, and freckles. 37. Childhood dream: The childhood dream was to be a chocolatier. Not even kidding you. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory right here, friends.  38. Hair color: Auburn. I have a stripe of green under it though. Gotta make that a new color. 39. Long or short hair: I’d say mid-length for now. It’s past my shoulders a few inches. 40. Do you have a crush on someone: *Sighs*................ Listen, it is not my fault Bex-Taylor Klaus made me gay for her, OKAY?!

41. What do you like about yourself: My open personality and my stubbornness to never change myself, because of other people. 

42. Piercings: My ears are pierced, but I never wear earrings.  43. Bloodtype: I wouldn’t know. Get me a vampire. They can tell me.  44. Nickname: Misty when I’m online. 45. Relationship status: Forever alone. 46. Zodiac: Aquarius.  47. Pronouns: She/her 48. Favorite TV Show: Voltron, AOT, Nabari No Ou, Home Improvement, Friends, Owari No Seraph, lots more sitcoms. Wait, was I supposed to pick one? 49. Tattoos: None right now. I’d love a puzzle piece and black kitten for my brother and my cat, but I’d also love to go full Voltron trash and get all the paladin V’s.  50. Right or left hand: Right hand. I am that dominant gene. Fear me. 51. Surgery: Tonsils, stitches in my food, and most recently my wisdom teeth. 52. Hair dyed in different color: The little green strip.  53. Sport: Horseback riding.  54. (question wasn’t here) <- Well where did it go?!  55. Vacation: Japan twice. 56. Pair of trainers: Are you talking about pokemon trainers?

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: Noodles with beef. 58. Drinking: Water 59. I’m about to: Upload some Pance fanfiction.

Uhhh, where did 60 and 61 go???

62. Want: World peace and for children to not go hungry... But I could also go for some cookie dough right about now. 63. Get married: No.  64. Career: Right now hair, but I’m going into voice acting. 

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: Can’t argue either of these since I’ve only ever gotten a hug.  66. Lips or eyes: Eyes 67. Shorter or taller: Reach for the skies, friends! 68. Older or younger: Younger. Young people are cool, because their excuse of being children is because they are children. When adults act like children, they’re usually doing it because they aren’t getting their way, but have the money to sue people.  70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Arms to wrap around me in a hug please?  71. Sensitive or loud: Loud. I have an autistic brother, another brother, and loud parents. I can’t live without ruckus.  72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship. PLEASE.  73. Troublemaker or hesitant: That depends how far the trouble maker goes. Are we talking put whipped cream in your shoes trouble maker or I’m about to go rob a store trouble maker?

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: No? That’s called sexual assault, friend. 75. Drank hard liquor: Nope 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: No. Can’t see without them. 77. Turned someone down: Yeah. I get hit on by men in their 60′s-70′s while cutting their hair. I reiterate: I’m 22.  79. Broken someone’s heart: In fanfiction, sure. I torture characters. 80. Had your heart broken: Yeah 81. Been arrested: No, but I’ve ridden in a cop car before. That was fun. :’) 82. Cried when someone died: Yes 83. Fallen for a friend: A crush once or twice, yes.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: Yes, it’s just going to take some time.  85. Miracles: Yeah. 86. Love at first sight: No. Attraction at first sight? Of course.  87. Santa Claus: Don’t make me answer this. I’m in denial and I refuse to answer this.  88. Kiss on the first date: I wouldn’t mind it so long as it’s the right person. I’ve been raised with the idea first kisses and stuff like that go to the right person, hence why I’m 22 and still single. 

OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: Her name is Pidge Gunderson. Fight me.  91. Eyecolor: Brown. Mud.  92. Favorite movie: Spirit, Stallion of the Cimarron. 

@goldendaydna​ Why would you torture me with this much writing?! X’D

Feel free for anyone who wants to do this. I’m too lazy to tag. 

[perspectiveartist]

@opus13

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

THE LAST: 1. Drink: raspberry white tea 2. Phone call: Uh...shit who was it? It was either James or Mom. 3. Text message: Abby <3 4. Song you listened to: ...”Prelude 12/21″ by AFI...I WAS BEING NOSTALGIC 5. Time you cried: Sunday when Mom shamed me into shaving my knees by saying they were gross

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: I mean...I guess. 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Kinda. I didn’t at the time but in retrospect, there’s people I wish I had never shown affection for. 8. Been cheated on: ...kinda ambiguous. I thought we were still dating but she claims we weren’t so idfk but as far as I’m concerned yes, that cunt cheated on me and then BRAGGED to me about it 9. Lost someone special: Too many. I’ve been to a lot of funerals. 10. Been depressed: Chronic depression over here :))) 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Nope, I don’t drink

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: Blue, black, and either silver or gold. Which of those I like best depends on the context.

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends:Yeah! I made some online friends, at least. I don’t think most of them consider me much of a friend, but I am happy to have them.  16. Fallen out of love: No 17. Laughed until you cried: Uhhh maybe? I don’t think I have but my memory’s shit so I could have 18. Found out someone was talking about you: I guess if anyone’s gossiped about me, they were smart enough to not let me hear about it 19. Met someone who changed you: Nah 20. Found out who your friends are: Ehhh any drama I had with friends was mostly just me taking slight to stupid shit, not anything serious that actually tested any friendships.

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Well yeah since James is friends with me on there 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Most people tbh. I don’t really add online friends very often. 23. Do you have any pets: My cat Samoa and betta Maui here, then my two calico girls Kia and Autumn at Mom’s. 24. Do you want to change your name: I used to want to change my name to Melanie or Melissa as a kid tbh but after a while I just accepted my name. Idek what I’d change it to but it wouldn’t feel right. The closest I’ve come is having friends call me Al. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Laid on the couch sick as a fucking dog watching TV as I drifted in and out of consciousness. Yaaay happy 25th! 26. What time did you wake up: 10-ish? 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Trying to paint my fidget spinner with nail polish LOL but I fucked up and then got sad and realized I was way tired and was getting to that toddler phase of “I’m so tired that everything is upsetting me”. It wasn’t even much of a day, I think I was just hungover from a full weekend of socializing. 28. Name something you can’t wait for: uhhhhhhhhh I don’t think there’s anything particular I’m excited for. I don’t get hyped for games or movies anymore cuz I don’t have money to drop $60 on a game and movie theaters freak me out (anxiety) 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Yesterday evening when she was dropping me off in Van Wert for James and his dad to drive me back home 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Only one? My anxiety. At the very least, it would get rid of my eating issues, I could hold a job once I got my strength back, etc. I can live with the depression, but I feel like everything would be more tolerable if my anxiety didn’t stop my body from taking care of itself or working right. 31. What are you listening right now: I WAS listening to Philip DeFranco but tbh that was just white noise for me, I didn’t pay attention much to the issues he was discussing. It just ended. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yeah, my friend’s ex. I cussed him out over the phone. Then he had his mom and sister cuss ME out lmao what a fucking coward 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Hmmm nothing at the moment. But that can easily change. 34. Most visited Website: Tumblr because I always come back out of the hopes of finding something new to look at every few minutes 35. Mole/s: Yeah, some. I have one under my right boob that I’ve had since I was little, I have a birth mark on my right elbow that’s like a mole, and then I have little moles on my legs and a couple on my stomach? 36. Mark/s: Yeah, a couple scars if that’s what you mean. I have a vertical scar on uhh my right shin I think, and then I have a scar on my upper lip. 37. Childhood dream: First I wanted to own a zoo, then I wanted to be a veterinarian. Then I realized I can’t handle the nasty parts of working with animals like shit and blood and stuff. So then I just didn’t really have a dream aside from maybe making a comic. But I gave up on that. 38. Haircolor: Dark brown 39. Long or short hair: Medium 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Idk I don’t consider it a crush if you’re in a relationship with them 41. What do you like about yourself: :)))) 42. Piercings: None and no intentions of getting them 43. Bloodtype: No fucking clue. In 8th grade we tried to do an experiment to find everyone’s blood type but my fingers are small and the rooms were cold and I have bad circulation so my teacher lanced me twice before deciding I wasn’t going to get a proper drop of blood to test and he was scared of bruising me cuz I guess I seem like the type to sue. So I never learned. Idek if Mom knows. 44. Nickname: Al, Sharkie 45. Relationship status: Taken 46. Zodiac: Capricorn 47. Pronouns: She/her 48. Favorite TV Show: uhhh idk I don’t do well picking faves I guess Bob’s Burgers 49. Tattoos: None and probably will never have any. If I did, it would be a watercolor style one of a flower that reminds me of a loved one. 50. Right or left hand: Right 51. Surgery: None 52. Hair dyed in different color: Nope. I want to get some blue in my hair but neither my budget nor my Mom seem thrilled about that so it will probably never happen. It’s expensive and time-consuming to safely bleach my hair. 53. Sport: Idk I played soccer in 4th grade but hated it, then I was on a bowling league for 6 years. But I ain’t played sports in 8 years. 54. (question wasn’t here) ...:D 55. Vacation: Like a dream vacation? Idk travel stresses me out too much for me to get excited about going anywhere outside my house. 56. Pair of trainers: wh...what? Like shoes?

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: Fried stuff yeee 58. Drinking: Coke, bottled tea, water, uh...fuck idk 59. I’m about to: smack my head against a wall for my brain being made of cotton 62. Want: security 63. Get married: I have no idea tbh I want to be with James the rest of my life but ceremonies suck. I also have issues of commitment in the way of “Oh god what if it doesn’t work out and then it hurts that much more cuz then he’s not just an ex, he’s an ex-husband?” And if James and I did split, I highly doubt I’d get married. I don’t even have an interest in dating. 64. Career: Fuck a career, I just want an income. I have no illusions of having a job you could call a career.

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes 67. Shorter or taller: Kinda weird but it seems like the women I’m interested in I prefer same height or shorter, but men I prefer taller 68. Older or younger: Same age. I don’t have an interest in anyone over a year younger than me, and I just can’t wrap my mind around dating someone older than my brother so no one more than 2 years older than me. 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: idk I don’t care about either 71. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive indicates to me that they’re touchy and I don’t do well with that, but I don’t like loud people either so...they both suck I guess? I can’t be around sensitive people who take things too personally, but I also fucking hate loud assholes. 72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship, I don’t fuck people I don’t know well. 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: I guess hesitant since a constant troublemaker would get fucking annoying.

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: No 75. Drank hard liquor: No 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: No 77. Turned someone down: Yes 78. Sex on the first date: No 79. Broken someone’s heart: I wouldn’t call it breaking his heart, but I did break up with a guy and he was upset for a little while. He got over it. I’d say it was a dent if anything, we were only together a couple months. 80. Had your heart broken: Not really but I never put myself out there to get it broken either 81. Been arrested: No 82. Cried when someone died: Well duh 83. Fallen for a friend: Yes, hard, but I got over it eventually

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: nah 85. Miracles: nah 86. Love at first sight: nah 87. Santa Claus: nah 88. Kiss on the first date: Depends on the date LMAO James and I technically kissed on our first date but I’d also known him for years and already had feelings for him. If I went out and dated some rando, no, no kiss. Kisses are commitments. 

OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: Uhm...A tie between Abby and Katie. They’re both always there for me and have been my friends for the past like 12 years. They’re reliable and sweet and supportive and I fucking love them like sisters. 91. Eyecolor: My eyes? Brown 92. Favorite movie: Aladdin

[ririthereader]

92 Truths

I was tagged by @amalasdraws and since I have three papers to write, I might as well procrastinate lmao 

rules: Once tagged you have to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to tag!

It got super long sorry

LAST… [1] drink: Mango juice [2] phone call: My mother [3] text message: does skype count as texting I’m in constant communication with two of my friends over skype and snapchat. [4] song you listened to: Can’t Sleep - K. Flay [5] time you cried: who knows bro 

HAVE YOU EVER… [6] dated someone twice: Nope [7] been cheated on: Nope [8] kissed someone and regretted it: Nope [9] lost someone special: yup [10] been depressed: it was more like a transitional dpression/anxiety when I was graduating hs and moving to my uni. Just temporary thank goodness.  [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: Nope

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: [12] Orange [13] Pink [14] Glitter

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] made new friends: Yeh. That’s what uni does to you man [16] fallen out of love: Nope [17] laughed until you cried: YES I love doing this lol [18] found out someone was talking about you: People are always talking about me ✨✨✨ (in the good way) [19] met someone who changed you: No? Yes? Probably. I don’t change for people, I change my actions/mentality when I see if it negatively affects people or myself. In the last year I’ve gotten more comfortable in my own body as a result of the people I’ve been around so that’s good. [20] found out who your true friends are: I kind of already can tell who’s a true friend and who isn’t so. [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: lmao you think I use facebook. nah man I haven’t used that since my club from hs disolved

GENERAL… [22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: See above [23] do you have any pets: YEAH. A cat named Oreo, a bird named Lafayette, and two turtles named Speedy and Madame Turtle. [24] do you want to change your name: Never ever [25] what did you do for your last birthday: I woke up early, cleaned a bit, got some work done, had sushi with my dad, went to disneyland (alone) and saw a bajillion flowers, nearly had an existential crisis, came home, ate and talked with my mom for about two hours. It was good.  [26] what time did you wake up: 12:11pm. I had my alarm for 9 so I could work but nooooooope. Sleep is great. My sleeping in record is 5-6pm.  [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: Reading The Yellow Birds by Kevin Powers (for an assignement) and texting @tiny-angry-dragon while talking to my sister. I think I’ve mastered multitasking lol [28] name something you cannot wait for: NEXT FALL IMMA TEACH A POETRY COURSE YEAAAHH BOOOOOOIIII [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: Last night at dinner [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I want to live in my own place. [31] what are you listening to right now: Busted - Phineas and Ferb  [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: The dean of my department is named Tom lol [33] something that is getting on your nerves: Right now? My group for a project. There’s one girl…asdfghjkl [34] most visited website: my uni website lmao [35] elementary: done [36] high school: done [37] college: doing [38] hair colour: The same color as my eyebrows lol [39] long or short hair: long enough [40] do you have a crush on someone: yeh [41] what do you like about yourself? I’m nice, I’m proportionately sized, I’m pretty, I write relatively well, I’m smart, and my fashion is gr9

[42] piercings: in my ears

[43]blood type: Probably AB something or other. Doesn’t matter, I can’t donate anyway [44] nickname: Riri, Firelord, Toast, stew [45] relationship status: I’m cool with being friends.   [46] zodiac sign: Pisces  [47] pronouns: she/her [48] fave tv show: cartoon: Generator Rex; live action: probably Psych or Speechless   [49] tattoos: nope [50] right or left handed: right

FIRST… [51] surgery: Tonsillectomy  [52] piercing: ears [53] best friend: in preschool I met a girl and apparently we were inseprable? and our moms still know each other but Idk who she is lol [55] vacation: uhh. I’ve been going to disneyland since I was like 2 so [56] pair of trainers: lol what are trainers? tennis shoes? gym shoes? right now I have a black and white pair. I love them. they’re so light.

RIGHT NOW… [57] eating:  Nothing. I had eggs and bell peppers for breakfast [58] drinking: Nothing. i need water though [59] i’m about to: Post this so I can clean my awful desk and get some more work done [60] listening to: A phineas and ferb playlist. Listen, I love phineas and ferb , [61] waiting for: My mom to come home so I can hug her and bug her [62] want: the cut on my mouth to heal. it hurts. I also want anither 4.0 this quarter.  [63] get married: No thanks [64] career: Right now I’m split between writing and teaching  or being a policy maker for education. I just wanna yell at old whit men that don’t know shit.

WHICH IS BETTER…

[65] hugs or kisses: Hugs. kisses are kinda gross tbh [66] lips or eyes: eyes [67] shorter or taller: either. I don’t care [68] older or younger: I will NOT teacher small children because ew. Kudose to @mikuridaigo and my mom who teach and care for elementary and younger. I could never. [70] nice arms or nice stomach: doesn’t matter. As long I can hug em. [71] sensitive or loud: I’m loud but also sensitive to loud noises so idk lol [72] hook up or relationship: friendship pls [73] troublemaker or hesitant: probs troublemaker lol

HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger? Nope  [75] drank hard liquor? Nope [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? HAHAHAH YES. I lost my glasses and had to default to contacts for a few days, and one time i Lost my conatct in my eye lol  [77] turned someone down: The real question is, has anyone ever had a crush on me lmao [78] sex on first date? Nope [79] broken someone’s heart? Oh I hope not [80] had your own heart broken? Not by a romantic partner  [81] been arrested? Nope [82] cried when someone died? No [83] fallen for a friend: yeh

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself? I try to [85] miracles? Religiously yeah, but everyday miracles? nah [86] love at first sight? no [87] santa claus? he’s an old white guy who goes down your chimney. I never understood the concept  [88] kiss on the first date? Nope [89] angels? Yeah man

OTHER… [90] current best friend’s name: Shoutout to the skype group. I know you stalk my blog Lady J lol [91] eye colour: Hazel [92] favourite movie: asdfghjklkjhgfds don’t ask me this. Maybe The King’s Speech? Maybe Locke? Maybe The Princess and the Frog? Maybe Mulan? Maybe Whisper of the Heart? IDK MAN 

I don’t know 25 people but let’s tag: @ohohohobro, @generator-sex, @mikuridaigo, @tiny-angry-dragon, @crollalanzaa, @fynneyseas, and uhhh @spizacki. No pressure my dudes. I hope that was interesting to read!! Edit: there are a ton of spelling errors but I'm too lazy to fix em. Sorrh

[stephenaltrogge-blog]

This past weekend, I attended my 50-year High School Reunion.

It was a lot of fun seeing folks I hadn’t seen in decades. I was grateful they put our senior photos on our name tags, because I wouldn’t have recognized a lot of my classmates now. We all look a bit different.

It was especially fun seeing some of my friends I was really close to in high school, especially the members of my first two rock bands, The Blades and The Signets, which eventually became Backtrack (a much better name). We laughed when we remembered some of the gigs we played, like one frat party where the people dancing and drinking would accidentally spill beer on me and I’d get shocked when it hit my hands on my electric guitar.

Amazingly, a couple of the guys remembered the first two songs I ever wrote, “As If I Didn’t Know” and “Time Will Tell.” They could even remember the melodies and the words. First, “As If I Didn’t Know”:

You’re whispering in my ear, What you’re saying makes my insides glow You’re wishing I’d hold you near As if I didn’t know.

And “Time Will Tell”:

Time will tell before too long Whether we are right or wrong But we’re in love for now Time will tell.

I know, I know, brilliant. Especially for a 15 year old. Amazing they could remember the words and melodies. That’s the power of music.

We didn’t do any dancing at the reunion. Probably a good thing. A number of us would probably have wound up in the ER with dislocated hips or heart attacks. It was fun, just hanging out and talking with each other. And it was great because there didn’t seem to be any cliques or looking down on each other, like we did in high school. It was just a bunch of old people having fun.

One thing that touched me was when I walked past a display of photos titled, “Gone But Not Forgotten” – people from our class who died in the last 50 years. Out of a class of around 350, 42 people have died. I knew a few who had, but was sadly surprised to see a number I didn’t know had passed away. Which made me think, my photo could be there. Why am I alive? And Why has God let me live all these years? And I was especially moved to think that God invaded my life just a few years after high school and changed me forever. And I wish I could tell all my classmates how he changed me. I hope some will read this.

I was raised by loving parents in Tulsa Oklahoma. My Dad and Mom were solid practicing Catholics. My Dad went to 6:00 Mass every day before he went to work for an oil company in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Mom and Dad sent us to St. Mary’s elementary school. I had some really nice nuns for teachers and a couple really terrible ones, like Sister Mary Raineldis, who we called Sister Rain-in-the-Face, who would paddle kids with a dictionary. I was an altar boy, got really good grades in school, and my parents had signed me up to go a Jesuit seminary after 8th grade. I was a pretty good boy, except for some of the pranks I would play on my younger sisters and brother.

But everything changed the night of graduation from 8th Grade. The school always gave away Outstanding Student Awards to the boy and girl with the best grade point average. Out of only 8 boys in the class, I had the best average. I had been told that by teachers. But when it came time for the award, they called the name of my good friend Jim. I was devastated. Didn’t know what happened. Well my Mom found out. Jim’s mother was a teacher in the school, and they gave it to Jim because of her, even though my grades were better. My mother was furious, went to the principal, and a week or two later they gave me a trophy with a different title. But Mom was done with the church and the school.

So when my Dad came home one day and said his company offered him a job in their office in Indiana, PA, my Mom said, “We’re moving!” I didn’t want to. Didn’t want to leave all my friends. Didn’t want to move to a town that couldn’t even come up with its own name but stole it from a state. But Mom was adamant. She wanted nothing more to do with that church or the school that cheated me out of a trophy.

So we moved to Indiana, PA. My parents went to the local priest and told them I had been signed up for the seminary, but his advice was, “I would wait until after high school. I think it would be good for him to meet girls. Then see if he still wants to go to the seminary.”

I never went to the seminary. I continued on as a Catholic, though my drift began not long after that. In high school I started smoking, and lying about it to my parents. As I said earlier, joined a rock band. Never drank in high school until graduation night, when some friends and I sneaked off from a party and had a six pack.

But in college the drinking escalated. And eventually I got into drugs. Did a lot of marijuana, and took LSD a couple times. By the time I graduated I was getting drunk pretty much every night. My parents never said anything about it, though I was still living at home. I’m sure they must have heard me come in late every night, but they never confronted me.

I also had a few different girlfriends in college. That didn’t go so well either. Despite having some physical relations, I was so selfish, I was just never really happy in my relationships, though the girls were really sweet girls. I was just too self-absorbed.

After college, I moved to Philadelphia, where I lived in a cockroach infested basement of an old apartment building while working in a cheesy art gallery. My plan was to become an artist, and get my work into galleries. I took my stuff to a few galleries, and got a couple paintings in one, but I was just too undisciplined to make any real progress. Plus I was still getting drunk every night. I still had a girlfriend, who was a wonderful girl, but I was sinking into my sin and selfishness and misery.

I remember one night scouring my apartment to try to find a penny because I was one cent short of having enough to buy a draft at the local bar. I knew that wasn’t good. But I needed a beer. On top of my other misery, I was till trying to live out my Catholic faith. I knew it was wrong to get drunk. So I would go to confession every week. But I couldn’t change my life. Every night I would say the Act of Contrition asking for forgiveness of sins I drifted off to sleep.

I didn’t know it but God had a plan for me. Before I left for Philadelphia, someone had told me I should get a Bible and try to read a small amount every day. He said, “Just read it and do what it says.” So I had bought a paperback bible called “Good News For Modern Man.” I began reading about Jesus. One day in my misery I actually cried out to God and said, “God, if you will help me I will do anything you want.” And the first thought that came to my mind is that God would tell me to be a missionary to Alaska. I thought, “Well, I guess if God told me to do that he would give me what it takes to do it.”

I didn’t see any changes right away, but God was up to something.

My girlfriend was an airline stewardess, and after visiting me one weekend, she called me and said, “Guess what? I was working this flight and there was a guy wearing a t-shirt with a picture of Jesus on it, so I said to him, “Don’t you think you’re being disrespectful by wearing a t-shirt with a picture of Jesus on it? And he started to tell me all about Jesus.” She was definitely excited about Jesus. “Yeah,” I said, “I know all about Jesus. I go to church every Sunday.” And I ended the conversation.

Not long after that I had to move back home to my parents’ home, 23 years old, broke and discouraged. One weekend, when my girlfriend was visiting she opened the newspaper and said, “Hey! Here’s the guy from the plane! The guy with the Jesus t-shirt. He’s going to be speaking at a retreat center 15 minutes from here. We have to go see him!” “Okay,” I said, with about as much enthusiasm as if she said we should eat sardines.

So the next evening my girlfriend, my parents (who had recently started going to a prayer meeting and were probably saved) and I went to a little country church in a place called Brush Valley. I was greeted at the door by an older man who extended his hand and said, “Praise the Lord, brother!” to which I weakly replied, “Uhhh, yeah, praise the Lord.” When they started singing “This is the day, this is the that the Lord has made, that the Lord has made, we will rejoice, we will rejoice and be glad in it, and be glad in it….” and clapping their hands, I didn’t know if I would be able to take this simple repetitive kind of singing. I was used to prog rock like Yes and Kansas and these were like kindergarten songs.

But when the speaker started, the young man who had worn the Jesus t-shirt, he was unlike anyone I had ever heard. He was excited about the Lord. Jesus was real to him. He was an engaging speaker. There was something different about him.

Afterwards, my girlfriend said, “Hey let’s go up and meet him.” So I reluctantly went with her and my mom and dad. The first thing he said to me was, “Have you ever asked Jesus into your heart?” To which I said, “Well, I guess so, I go to church every Sunday.”

“No,” he said, “Have you ever PERSONALLY asked Jesus into your heart?”

“Well, I guess not,” I said.

“Well why don’t you do that right now?” He said. “I can lead you in a prayer.”

So I did. I asked Jesus into my heart. I didn’t know what I was doing. But I really did want God to help me and change me.

There were no fireworks. No goosebumps. I didn’t feel any different. But I did believe in Jesus. I went home that night and believed that something had happened. Didn’t know what.

But nothing changed immediately. I started going to the prayer meeting my parents attended. But I kept going to the bar every night and getting drunk. No one told me that after I believed in Jesus I should turn from my sins and follow him. No one told me I could be free from the power of sin. So for the next year I was pretty miserable. I’d go to the prayer meeting, then go to the bar. I felt even more guilt than I had before my prayer to receive Jesus.

Then a friend invited me to a Bible study in the basement of a local church. That night the speaker talked about our need to turn from sin. At the end, I stood up with others and committed myself to Jesus to change. Not long after that I read Romans 6, which said:

We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. For one who has died has been set freeb from sin…. Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions. Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness. For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace. (RO 6.6-7,12-14)

I was one with Christ, and no longer a slave of sin! I didn’t have to sin! I didn’t have to obey sin any more. Sin no longer had dominion over me!

John 3:16 says:

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

And Romans 10:13 says,

“For ‘everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.’”

The good news of Jesus is that he is God, and that he became a man, and lived a sinless life of perfect obedience to his Father. Then he took our sins upon himself, as if he had committed them, and was crucified on a cross and suffered the wrath of God to pay the penalty our sins deserved. Then, after suffering in our place, he died, was buried, then rose from the dead on the third day. Then he appeared to many, then ascended into heaven where he reigns as Lord of Lords. When we believe this good news and call upon him to save us, he forgives our sins and gives us eternal life. We are born again, and joined to Christ.

Then we should begin to follow him as disciples. We should be baptized and turn from sin and begin a life of learning about Jesus and obeying his commands.

Jesus rescued me from my sins. He saved me. I was freshly reminded of his mercies to me at my reunion, especially when I looked at the photos of my classmates who died. I had been with one of them, Gerry, in his last days of battling cancer. He had called upon Jesus to save him, and I had helped baptize him in his bathtub a few short weeks before he died. I know I will see him again someday. I don’t know about the others.

I hope some of my classmates will read this and believe in Jesus. If you are reading this and have never called upon Jesus, I urge you to do that today. Nothing matters more than your eternal salvation. Get a bible and I’d suggest that you start by reading the gospel of John, then read the other gospels, Matthew, Mark and Luke. Then dig into the rest of the New Testament. Try to find a church that believes the good news of Jesus and believes the Bible is the inspired word of God.

If you have any questions, I would be glad to try to answer them. Thanks for reading this!

The post What? It’s Been 50 Years Since High School?…Looking Back, And What God Did For Me appeared first on The Blazing Center.